Just Between Us | Summer 2023

Discerning God’s

Will

by Pam Farrel

Training Your Heart to

Praise

A RHYTHM FOR SUMMER AGING BEAUTIFULLY

by Katie Davis Majors

FREED FROM THE SHAME OF PORN THE REWARDS OF RELINQUISHMENT

summer 2023 | F I N D M O R E A T J U S T B E T W E E N U S . O R G

welcome from the editor SHELLY ESSER

We’re so grateful you’ve invited us into your homes and hearts to spend the summer together.

I wish I could look at each of you in the eyes and tell you in person just how precious you are to God and to this sisterhood of faith. We consider it a joy—our word for the year—to prayerfully select articles with you in mind each quarter. We desire for you to feel less alone and to offer you hope as you navigate these ever-changing times in the world around you. One thing you can count on no matter what happens is you have a God who loves you and is never going to take His eyes off you.

You are His beloved daughter and He is for you and working in every detail of your life whether you feel it or not.

As you quiet your soul and grab a few minutes just for yourself, we’re trusting that God meets you on every page. We know He has something specific in mind for you in this issue. May you find inspiration, refreshment, biblical truth, and encouragement to lift your heart as you live out your faith in your everyday life.

And finally, in keeping with your requests for us to address the tough topics women face and struggle with in today’s culture, we hope you will find help and hope for yourself or someone you know who is struggling with pornography. Yes, women struggle in this area, too! Allow our brave author, Jessica Harris, to enlighten and encourage you as she shares her very personal and vulnerable sex addiction story of redemption on page 28. Battling this sexual challenge can create immense shame, and that is not God’s desire.

Let Him carry you into the light and bring healing that is possible for every woman struggling with pornography.

And a Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms, grandmoms, and spiritual moms! We hope you can put your feet up out on the patio with your favorite iced latte and be pampered in the way you desire. You deserve it and we celebrate all you do for all the people in your life. You are amazing and world-changers!

May this summer bring you the gifts of rest, relaxation, and fun—and may God refresh the deepest parts of your soul as you slide into the new rhythm that summer brings.

With joy,

summer2023 2023 betweenus ȷust ȷustbetween us summer

Here are some of the exciting articles you’ll find in this issue. Katie Davis Majors, mom of 15, shares an excerpt from her newest book, Safe All Along: Trading our Fears and Anxieties for God’s Unshakeable Peace (Multnomah 2023) on page 14. If ever there was a need for encouragement for all of life’s anxieties and God’s peace, it’s today. We pray you will enjoy this peek into Katie’s heart as she shares about her move across the Atlantic to transition back to the States from Uganda after 15 years.

We know her contagious faith will leave you hungering for more. Check out her book on Amazon.

Get your heart ready for summer with Cynthia Stuckey’s insightful and freeing article, “A Rhythm for Summer” on page 16. She provides a summer manifesto that reminds us that rest is good and a needed gift from God.

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Contents

V O L U M E

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on the cover

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14

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Discover four important principles to consider when figuring out what God wants you to do.

by Pam Farrel

Learning to rejoice and train your heart to praise God for His goodness no matter what is going on in your life.

by Katie Davis Majors

A summer manifesto that reminds us that rest is a good and needed gift from God.

by Cynthia M. Stuckey

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28

34

By letting God’s standard of beauty define you, you’ll be able to age well.

by Jen Allee

How women struggling with pornography and shame can find grace and freedom.

by Jessica Harris

Discover the blessings in the daily act of surrender.

by Nancy Sessions

Wisdom to Discern God’s Will

Worship Along the Way

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When Beauty Diminishes

4

Quenched

A Rhythm for Summer

Relinquished

About Our Ministry: Just Between Us is a vibrant and expanding not-for-profit ministry that continues to transform the lives of women around the world. Our heart-focused and biblically-based content in the print magazine, on the website, in the weekly digital mini magazine, on social media, and other products—all help women find hope and encouragement while growing their faith and deepening their love for Jesus.

Find Us in All Kinds of Ways:

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features

in every issue

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3 Welcome from the Editor 6 Meet Our Team 7 Between Us 8 Happy Home

Unspeakable Joy

Lessons we can learn about finding joy even in our deepest pain.

by Lisa Elliott

26

Words That Work

Running into God’s presence in worship is the key to being used in everything you say.

by Jill Briscoe

32

Inviting Others In

One woman’s inspiring story of how beautiful friendships can be born out of service.

by Sarah Rooker

9 Encouraging WORDS 10 Transparent Moments columns

36 My Story

faith chats

Strengthening 38 Your Soul

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Minutes 39 15in the Word 40 Intentional Faith 42 Living Well

Faith Chats That Inspire

Annie Downs, Katherine Wolf, and Sharon Garlough Brown’s words are just as relevant today as they were years ago when we first interviewed them. compiled by Shelly Esser

Outside Your 43 Front Door veryday E Transformation

44 45 Faith at Work 46 Between Friends

CREDITS Founder/Executive Editor Jill Briscoe

Circulation Manager Suzan Braun

Editor Shelly Esser

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Renewal Assistants Wayne + Sally Schlittenhart

Director Digital Media Mary Ann Prasser

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Just Between Us (ISSN 1069-3459) is published quarterly by Just Between Us, 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045-3701.

Make all checks and money orders payable to: Just Between Us, Subscription Orders 777 S. Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045 To order by phone, or for more information: call 800-260-3342.

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Copyright ©2023 by Just Between Us. All rights reserved. Printed in USA.

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meet our team

Our Just Between Us team is made up of incredible women with hearts to see you flourish in every area of your life, especially in your life of faith. They bring their collective gifts to make sure you don’t feel alone and that you are continually encouraged, so you can grow closer to Jesus and make an impact on His world.

JILL BRISCOE

SHELLY ESSER

MARY PERSO

SUZAN BRAUN

MARY ANN PRASSER Director Digital Media

ASHLEY SCHMIDT

Director of Mission Advancement/Social Media

REBECCA LOESCHE

SHARON VAUGHT

JULIE KRINKE

Founder

Circulation Manager & Assistant Editor

Renewals Manager & Software Support

ȷustbetweenus summer 2023

General Manager

Advertising & Accounts Manager

Creative Director

A Bright Future!

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Our donors make the future of JBU possible, and many of you have asked how to set up a recurring donation.

generation and for future generations.

To help make giving easy, and launch Just Between Us into the future, we’ve added a NEW giving platform. You can now quickly and easily set up a recurring gift! Recurring or scheduled monthly giving is so important to the sustainability of this ministry. When we can count on funds to fuel our mission, more women are reached, more women’s souls are fed, and more women struggling find hope. It’s a win-win for everyone! Thank you for being such a generous community! We hope you enjoy this new easy-to-use platform!

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BETWEEN US

Crate Training… and Other Good Boundaries

M

om, we think you need a puppy.”

Lysa TerKeurst

Before my grown kids, who no longer live at home, got to the second syllable of the word puppy, I said no. I felt like this whole conversation was code for “they wanted all the fun of a puppy without the daily responsibilities of said puppy.” So, of course, I wound up getting a puppy. And it worked out exactly like I thought it would.

But what I hadn’t counted on was completely falling in love with this little apricot colored fur ball of pure joy. Except every time I put Givey in his crate, he cried and cried until I couldn’t take it any longer and let him out.

One day, my friend Shae came over to work on some projects and Givey was in rare form. I said, “I know I should put him in his crate for some time out, but I just can’t stand to hear him cry.”

Shae replied, “You know, my mom had a really wise statement when we were crate training our dog, Rosie. My mom would say, “Well, I’m not happy 100 percent of the time in my life either. She’ll be just fine.”

Eventually, Givey not only got used to spending appropriate amounts of time in his crate but wound up liking it. And it certainly brought relief to my puppy mom life. If he wants to chew something of his in his crate, great. But in the rest of my home, chewing up my stuff isn’t acceptable.

Defining what is and is not acceptable is even more important with human relationships. If people are constantly annoying us, exhausting us, or running all over us, chances are we either don’t have the right kind of people in our life or we don’t have the right kind of boundaries.

This is where I’ve gotten boundaries wrong in the past. Boundaries don’t prevent me from being the best version of myself. Boundaries allow me to be the best version of myself.

If I want to be a woman of compassion, good boundaries will help me be more compassionate. If I want to be a woman of grace, good boundaries will help me be more gracious. If I want to be a woman of forgiveness, good boundaries will help me be more forgiving.

Good boundaries help us keep the best of who we are intact.

Keeping this in mind, we can prayerfully consider where necessary boundaries may be needed in some of the relationships in our life without the added guilt or worry of what this person may think of us.

Just like Givey has learned to thrive within the parameters of his crate, I believe we can learn to thrive in healthy, life-giving relationships, protected by sound, biblical boundaries.

Lysa TerKeurst is the president of Proverbs 31 Ministries

and a #1 New York Times’ bestselling author. Her newest books are Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are and a new devotional called You’re Going to Make It. She writes from her gray farm table and lives with her family in North Carolina. Connect with her at www.LysaTerKeurst.com or on social media @LysaTerKeurst.

LysaTerKeurst.com LysaTerKeurst Lysa TerKeurst

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You might be thinking, “Boundaries don’t bring relief.

They can make the other person angry or disappointed enough in me to say hurtful things about me. I just want to keep the peace, so I’ll go along with their attitudes and behavior so that I don’t have to deal with the fallout of addressing all of this.”

I’ve been that woman. Sometimes losing my temper because I’d let things go so long, I just couldn’t hold back my frustration any longer. Or, sometimes biting my tongue so long that I lost the desire to stay in that relationship. Ephesians 4:31-32 says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” I’ve read those verses so many times and never made the connection that implementing healthy boundaries in my life could actually help me be this kind of woman.

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HAPPY HOME

The Money Tree

O

Arlene Pellicane

ne year for my husband James’ birthday party, he wrote on the invitation, “Don’t bring gifts, just cash!” It’s a good thing our friends have a sense of humor. The creativity award went to our friends who brought a small potted topiary with bills hanging from the leaves. We had our very own money tree…if only it worked!

The Magic Money Tree

Sometimes we think our problems would be solved if we had a magic money tree. But it just takes a few moments to read the accounts of people who are fabulously wealthy and very unhappy. The secret to a happy marriage isn’t found in an unlimited bank account. For most of us, there are seasons of financial want and seasons of financial plenty. Some years, you fly to a resort and enjoy a week-long vacation.

Other leaner years, you might pitch a tent in the backyard and eat smores by moonlight.

Money can be a source of joy or anxiety to a couple—a marriage-builder or marriage-destroyer. So what kind of attitude about money do you bring into the marriage? Maybe you’ve tried to talk to your spouse about spending and saving, but your talks turn into fights. You’re a saver. Your spouse is a spender or vice versa. By understanding how you view money, you may realize that your spouse’s intent isn’t to aggravate you. He just has a different money personality.

The victory comes in understanding one another and working as a team. You might have a goal to pay off debt, save for college, support a ministry, or buy a home.

ȷustbetweenus summer 2023

The Proverbs 31 Wife

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We can look to the model wife in Proverbs 31 for financial guidance. If she were alive today, she might be featured on the cover of a business magazine.

She works long hours, selects her own raw materials, buys properties, invests her assets, and gives to charity, and gets up early while it’s still night to make food for her family and servants. Who is this lady? Since her noble characteristics may be a bit overwhelming to emulate, let’s look at one verse that is often overlooked: “She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard” (Prov. 31:16).

Notice that she considers. She doesn’t rush into the next get-rich-quick scheme. In my twenties before I was married, I sat in a sales presentation for gumball machines. By the end of the presentation, I envisioned myself putting gumball machines in several businesses in my city, making hundreds of dollars a month selling candy while I slept. I spent a small fortune on my gumball machine empire that day.

It didn’t take long for me to figure out that placing my money-making-gumball-machines in strategic locations was next to impossible. Months later, after contacting dozens of businesses, I had been able to place only one gumball machine in my hairdresser’s salon. Once a month, I collected my candy profit which usually amounted to a few dollars. My first start-up had failed miserably.

What the Bible Says

The Bible has a lot to say about money. Of the thirty-eight parables of Jesus, at least a dozen are devoted to money and to our use of material goods.

Approximately one of every eight verses in the Gospels deals with money.

The book of Proverbs opens with “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge” (Prov. 1:7) and ends with “A woman who fears the LORD is to be praised” (Prov. 31:30). Here is the secret to the overall success of the Proverbs 31 wife. It’s not business school experience, a large inheritance, or a millionaire husband.

The secret is the fear of the Lord.

The happy wife doesn’t put her trust in her husband or her finances. She places her trust in God while learning how to be financially productive, giving her more value than a money tree.

Arlene Pellicane is a speaker, host of the Happy Home

podcast, and author of several books including: Screen Kids, Parents Rising, and 31 Days to a Happy Husband. Arlene has been featured on the Today Show, Fox & Friends, Wall Street Journal, FamilyLife Today, and Focus on the Family.

She lives in San Diego, Calif., with her husband James and their three children.

arlenepellicane.com ArlenePellicaneAuthor ArlenePellicane ArlenePellicane

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encouraging WORDS

“Take time to be in God’s Presence, to experience and enjoy Him.” “Joy is the infallible sign of the

Presence of God.”

“God’s Presence is all that matters.”

PIERRE TEILHARD DE CHARDIN

Presence FRANCIS CHAN

“One of the greatest joys in life is spending time in God’s Presence.”

K-LOVE

IN THE

OF GOD

WE ARE CONTINUALLY RENEWED, REJUVENATED, AND REFRESHED.

“In Your Presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

PSALM 16:11

God’s Presence.”

JOYCE MEYER

“Joy is always the result of God’s Presence.”

KRISTIN N. SPENCER

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“Sometimes I just sit still and enjoy

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TRANSPARENT MOMENTS

Filling the Emptiness

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Anita Carman

remember the day I left my country. I was 17 and my sister was 19. At the time, my father was in his mid-40s. I remember my father looking small as he stood by himself while my sister and I made our way to the airplane. We had recently lost our mother and both of us knew that our father was returning home to an empty house. That last wave goodbye felt unbearable. How could life have taken a turn so quickly? Within a six-month period, my father had said goodbye to his wife and his two daughters.

A Joy-Filled Reunion

I also remember the first Christmas my father visited America to spend the holidays with us in our new country. I remember being distracted for weeks and counting the days till his arrival. As soon as I saw him walk into the passenger arrival area, I ran into his arms. We hugged each other for a long time while time stood still. I still recall the overflowing joy that flooded my heart.

Fast forward to today—my father is no longer with us. When he passed at the age of 91, I knew visiting each other on this side of eternity had come to an end. I no longer have the joy of anticipating his visit or hearing his opinion on an issue. Instead of dwelling on what I miss, God transitioned me into finding joy in a different way. Today, what fills me with joy is the evidence of God’s blessings in my life, as a result of my father’s prayers for me.

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My Father’s Legacy

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One day, feeling alone in my challenges, my eyes caught the cover of a prayer book that once belonged to my father. I was reminded that my father prayed for me every day of my life. What helps me to rise above the grief of missing a loved one is knowing I am continuing in what they had prayed for me. I find delight in knowing that I continue to stay the course. I operate from a full prayer reservoir that he deposited into my life. Instead of missing the physical presence of a loved one, I find myself celebrating that I had someone who wanted so much good for me, who steadfastly prayed for me.

God Fills Our Love Tank

Perhaps your love tank wasn’t filled by a parent, but God is the parent who never abandons us. Perhaps your love tank wasn’t filled by a spouse, but God Himself steps in as your husband. Perhaps your love tank was depleted by a church leader who has wounded you, but God comes to the rescue as the Shepherd we can trust. One thing is for sure, God made sure that no human would walk around with an empty love tank. He guaranteed that through Jesus, who stayed on the cross to purchase our eternal salvation.

“…God made sure that no human would walk around with an empty love tank.”

Neural scientists say our tendency to dwell on the negative is the human brain’s way to protect ourselves. God’s Word tells us to rejoice always, because His truth guides our lives. Three John 1:4 reads, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” I imagine my biological father watching me from heaven, delighting in how God has been so faithful to answer his prayers for his children. I imagine the pleasure on the face of my heavenly Father as He basks in the truth that our love tank is always full. He made sure of that through Jesus!

Anita Carman arrived in America at 17, after her mother’s tragic suicide. Today, she is a walking billboard of how God transformed her pain into passion to build Inspire Women, a nonprofit that unites thousands of women of all races and invests in their potential to change the world. She has an MBA from SUNY and an MABS from Dallas Theological Seminary.

Anita has authored several books and lives in Houston, Tex., with her husband. She has two grown sons. Visit her at

inspirewomen.org.

(Anita Carman’s signature curriculum, being taught through Inspire Women’s Leadership Academy, offers an online option to teach women how to make decisions fitting for one who is the King’s daughter. To enroll, please email info@ inspirewomen.org.)

Shadowlands Grief Recovery Program

Based on God’s Model of grieving, the study includes scripture, coping skills, and research data to lead those who grieve through their valley of grief and sadness.

• Personal Grief Recovery: For all types of grief events - meets weekly for six weeks via Zoom • Small Group Ministry Training: Custom designed for Clergy, Chaplains, Ministerial Staff • Church Licensing: Churches or organizations granted use of materials for ongoing ministry With over 25 years of ministry experience, the copyrighted curriculum, compiled

by Sharon Fox, a Certified Grief Facilitator by the American Academy of Bereavement, presents a Christian Biblical Pattern of Grief Recovery.

Contact: www.Bravepenny.org or SharonBravePenny@gmail.com

Wisdom to Discern God’s Will

The 4 C’s to walking His path.

by Pam Farrel

ȷustbetweenus summer 2023

One of the questions I am asked the most often is, “How do I discern the will of God in my life?”

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The reasons we ask for wisdom in knowing God’s will varies greatly. The most common needs for wisdom are: Which college should I (or my child) choose?

Which job opportunity is best? How can I improve my marriage, parenting, or health? Should we buy a home or rent? How can I find help for my child? How do I deal with a prodigal or young adult child? What ministry should I commit to?

The first vital decision I remember seriously seeking God’s will on was my decision to marry Bill—“God, is Bill the one?” We were both so young, just 19. My

parents were in the process of getting a divorce; Bill’s parents were committed, but in a rocky marriage. I had just recommitted my life to Christ, and we were both involved in CRU, an on-campus college ministry, so we pursued the advice of mentors.

That same summer, while I was wondering if Bill was my Mr. Right, God arranged for me to be at a Bible school and I took a class taught by Dr. Dennis Rainey, who had just started Family Life Today. Ever since, I have collected wisdom from many leaders on how to recognize God’s will for my life.

In Discovering Wisdom in Proverbs: A Creative Bible Study Experience, I share the 4 C’s I use to discern God’s will for my life.

Sometimes God commands us to

take a step

in the direction

He is leading before He opens the path of provision and peace.

Seek Counsel. Proverbs 19:21 says, “Many plans

are in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” You can investigate what the Bible has to say on almost any subject. Ask God for direction, and when He gives you a verse—record it! This way, if things get tough, you can go back and see that God gave you clear counsel. “Victory is won through many advisors” (Prov. 11:14).

Spend time with those who love you and love helping you find God’s will. Mentors, Christian counselors, parents, grandparents, teachers, professors, Bible study leaders, and clergy are some who would easily be comfortable helping you discern God’s will, if you asked.

Listen for the Spirit’s Conviction. Bible college

or an inductive study course can help you learn how to wisely interpret God’s Word. If it is important to God, God will repeat Himself. I have found that to be true in my life, too. When God is trying to get my attention, I hear similar messages from all different sources—in my quiet time, a sermon, a book, a magazine, or a blog, the lyrics of a song on the radio, a podcast, or even from the lips of a friend.

Sometimes God commands us to take a step in the direction He is leading before He opens the path of provision and peace. In Joshua 3, the priests are carrying the Ark of the Covenant over the Jordan River into the Promised Land. The Bible says that as soon as their feet touched the river, the water stopped flowing.

I also look for the fruit of the Spirit as I step forward.

Sometimes, you have to step out in faith and look for the fruit of the Spirit. If you’re stepping into God’s plan, you will feel and see “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control” in your life (Gal. 5:22-23, ESV).

Ask for Confirmation. You may have heard to

“ask for a fleece” or a sign. We can learn a lot from the timid leader, Gideon. God had assured him that if he went into battle for the noble cause which God had directed, Gideon would win the battle. But Gideon was afraid. So, he asked God to make himself very clear.

Our very patient God knows that we sometimes need some extra encouragement. When we moved into the pastorate in Southern California, the housing prices escalated $60,000 in six weeks. There was no way we’d qualify for the finances to afford an already-built home.

Our only shot at a home was to secure the funds and build it ourselves.

Bill had experience working as an architectural draftsman and he was very handy at the remodel on our first home, so we both believed he had the skill. But he also knew the huge time commitment building a home would be. He just couldn’t see how he could build a home, our family, and a church family at the same time. The more we looked at housing options, the more we felt we should at least pray for the miracle of a home. So, we asked for a fleece. Bill prayed, “Lord, if this is Your will, make it obvious this Sunday at church.”

After the service, as people exited, the plumber, the cement worker, the roofer, the cabinet maker, and a contractor all offered to donate time to build a home—and a parishioner offered to help with the down payment!

Look at the Circumstances. Sometimes all

doors look closed. But Jesus told us this: “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened” (Luke 11:9).

Sometimes God wants us to knock on a door for a length of time to build passion in our hearts that will carry us forward once the door has been opened

by God. Eventually, if it is God’s will, the doors will open. The pieces of the puzzle will form a beautiful picture!

Pam Farrel is an international speaker,

life-coach, and author of 58 books including the newest: Discovering Wisdom in Proverbs: A Creative Bible Study Experience (coauthored with Jean E. Jones and Karla Dornacher/Harvest House Publishers).

Love-wise.com. (See the ad for Pam's newest study on page two.)

ȷustbetweenus summer 2023

Gideon said to God, “If you will save Israel by my hand as you have promised—look, I will place a wool fleece on the threshing floor. If there is dew only on the fleece and all the ground is dry, then I will know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you said.” And that is what happened. Gideon rose

early the next day; he squeezed the fleece and wrung out the dew—a bowlful of water. Then Gideon said to God, “Do not be angry with me. Let me make just one more request. Allow me one more test with the fleece, but this time make the fleece dry and let the ground be covered with dew.” That night God did so. Only the fleece was dry; all the ground was covered with dew (Judges 6:36-40).

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WORSHIP ALONG THE WAY

Training our hearts to praise.

by Katie Davis Majors

I

love pretty much any words from John Piper, but I’ve held on to these: “Occasionally weep deeply over the life you hoped would be.

Grieve the losses. Then wash your face. Trust God. And embrace the life you have.”

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It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to lament, but it’s not okay to stay there forever. Lament. Grieve. Cry out. And then turn your heart back to praise. Not because you have everything you want. Not because the circumstance has changed. But because you can trust in God’s unfailing love and because, in Jesus, He has been good to us.

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Worship on the Way

When you are in the book of Psalms, you will see a section, each with the label “A Song of Ascents.” These are the songs Israelites committed to memory and would sing as they climbed up Mount Zion on their way to worship in Jerusalem.

This was their worship for the journey, their worship on the way. As they climbed the treacherous mountains, sleeping along roadsides and relying on the kindness of strangers, they sang. Without amenities or comforts they sang, remembering who their God was and would continue to be, even while they were still climbing.

“WHEN THINGS ARE NOT YET RESOLVED WE CAN TRAIN OUR HEARTS TO PRAISE.”

Sure, it feels easy to praise God when we are on the proverbial mountaintop above and realize that we were always safe. But the Psalms teach us that we can worship Him on the way. When things are not yet resolved we can train our hearts to praise.

just don’t like it here” and “I wish we were somewhere else.” And while these sentiments carry some truth, they also point to an internal pity party that is ugly and robbing me of the joy that God would love to give me in this season and in every season.

Worship in the Dark

Our grief can be holy when we bring it honestly to Jesus, but when it turns to complaining and self-pity, it becomes a dangerous weapon of the Enemy. Choosing joy might be hard work sometimes. That means that living in the joy of our salvation even in the midst of the hard is going to take practice.

Scripture I have hidden away often surfaces in times of anxiety. A worship song sometimes rises to my lips right when I am beginning to feel the weight of being most downtrodden. For years, when I have found myself alone in the dark, rocking a sick child back to sleep, praying over a dying friend, one particular old hymn comes to mind that starts, “I love you, Lord, and I lift my voice.” That is what David experiences as he laments and turns toward God. That is what the Israelites experience as they worship in the wilderness. Worship rises in the dark. Oh, my soul, rejoice!

Once I push aside my coping mechanism of control and lay my grief at the feet of tender Jesus, it gets lighter. Grief takes up a little less space, which leaves space for something else. For joy. As we surrender our anxieties and our burdens, to Jesus, as we cry out in our suffering and hurt, He alone can change our mourning into dancing (Ps. 30:11).

Worship to Bring Hope and Comfort

The middle of Acts 16 finds Paul and Silas in prison.

They have been slandered for healing a woman of an evil spirit and then publicly stripped, beaten with rods, flogged, and thrown into prison, where their feet were fastened with shackles. In the middle of the night, Paul and Silas decide to worship. They pray aloud and sing hymns to God in the hearing of the other prisoners.

Even on the hardest days, they know the joy of the Cross and the Resurrection.

“Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose” (Acts 16:26). Worship broke their chains.

Worship shook the prison.

Worship opened the doors and set them free.

And that very night, the jailer and his whole family believed in Jesus and rejoiced (Acts 16:31-34).

Worship to Vanquish Self-Pity

I’ll be the first to admit in this recent season of deferred dreams and great uncertainty that being joyful hasn’t exactly been my MO. I’ve heard myself say things like “I

Worship to Rejoice

God, who loves you, made a way for you to have relationship with Him, now and in eternity. That is always a reason to rejoice.

Worship might be the very thing that begins to shake us out of our prisons of self-pity, the very thing that begins to loosen the chains that bind us with shame and guilt and worry. Worship might be the very thing to set us free, to lead us into peace. And when others see us worshipping in the dark, it might be the very thing that would point them to Jesus.

Turn on the music, beloved. Hum it while you drive and while you fold the laundry and while you rock the baby to sleep. We are called to be a joyful people because we know the God of Joy. I don’t want to be someone who rejoices and worships only when life is good but someone who rejoices in God for His goodness no matter what is going on.

I don’t want to just be thankful for the gifts; I want to rejoice in the Giver.

In this life, we may lose more than we could imagine.

We may hurt to the point of thinking we may not survive. But with eyes on Him, we will know more joy than we dare dream.

Katie Davis Majors is the New York Times bestselling author of Safe All Along, Kisses from Katie, and Daring to Hope. She is also the founder of Amazima Ministries. For more information, visit KatieDavisMajors.com and Amazima.org.

Adapted from SAFE ALL ALONG: Trading Our Fears and Anxieties for God’s Unshakable Peace © 2023 by Katie Davis Majors. Published by Multnomah, an imprint of Random House, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, on March 28, 2023. Available on Amazon.

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I can’t tell you how many times a familiar worship song has been my lifeline on a difficult day, in a difficult season. Nothing and no one can take from me the hope and comfort that come from my salvation, the joy that comes from knowing God, who loves me!

Are there places in your life where you have moved past lament into all-out self-pity? Have you been stuck bemoaning your current situation? If so, don’t spin into shame over it (we’ve all been there), but hear me lovingly say that it’s time to wash your face. It’s time to pull out a song of ascents and worship God, even in the middle of the journey, even when you are still on the way.

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Summer A RHYTHM FOR

Let it be a time for rest and refreshment.

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by Cynthia M. Stuckey

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he sun peeks out earlier each morning, and the birdsong drowns in the noise of a hundred frogs. Before long, we will plow through popsicles and watch our librarian swipe the nearly glowing card, handing it back with a towering pile of titles. Meals will be built around sweet peaches and ripe tomatoes while throwing the pool towels back into the dryer for another spin.

Summer is coming in all its colorful glory.

But may I confess something? I am notoriously bad at summer.

Instead of soaking up the rhythm of the lighter, more restful months, I fight and struggle against the temptation not to view every single free moment as an opportunity to redeem all that I have not accomplished this year.

With two daughters under 14 who are homeschooled, I crave the months in which I am just their mother and not the teacher. I wait for summer all year long. But, since the freer months are when the words begin to flow, I don’t usually allow my writerly self to slow down much in summer; it is a time when I’m relaxed enough to take in the beauty around me and translate it into written words.

I know that with our leaner schedules, summer has the potential for more togetherness and rest. In theory, it’s a time to be present and tend to those parts of ourselves that are still weary from the marathon of spring. But even though summer feels like abundance, my mindset can quickly turn it into another season of scarcity and stretching.

A SUMMER MANIFESTO I will open my hands willingly to the swelter of June, July, and August, and collect their slower gifts.

I will breathe in summer and not hold it up against seasons of greater productivity.

I will create when I can and be happily content with the art made in the quiet cracks between less quiet summer adventures.

I will smile at these days of fluidity and fun, and welcome ‘wasted’ time with people I love.

I will invite my children into creativity and remember that the messy often makes for good memories.

I forget that summer isn’t a reward for those who have earned it, or a gift endowed only to teachers and 5th graders. Whatever your daily life looks like, summer is for you, too. Wherever you are, summer is yet another gift from a good Father which we don’t have to earn to enjoy.

I will not stop trying to balance both the good rest and the good work.

It is a rhythm we all need in some way—the dance of the seasons taking turns and illustrating in nature exactly what we need to mirror in our bodies and lives.

We know that we need summer like we know eating regularly makes us nicer people. It’s okay if we need to be reminded to play, to enjoy the days of fluidity, and then not feel guilty for them later.

I will eat popsicles and know again the drippy, sticky happiness of being nine years old.

If you are like me, you may often arrive in late August with a mental list of all the things you did not accomplish in your home, your work, your art—in anything.

Friend, that list of unchecked boxes can sour a summer long before the transition to fall.

I will see the way my husband’s eyes reflect the pool blue of the deep end.

So how do we effectively manage a real life that rarely takes a summer holiday? How do we steward what we must do with all of the rest and presence that a whole-hearted life craves? We mustn’t give up the search for balance between both the good rest and the good work, but we can choose what has the most value and walk confidently in the direction of those things. Even if those certain things are pool time and reading a long novel without guilt.

This is my manifesto for summer, and it is a gift to you—a set of markers for that slice of time between May and August. They are reminders that rest is a good and needed gift and that we can choose to be present, choose to be absent—and not allow guilt for either.

I will focus on the faces in front of me.

I will notice new constellations of freckles on my daughter’s nose.

I will remember that cultivating an atmosphere of simple fun and unabashed joy means as much as creating a magical masterpiece of a summer.

I will choose wave skipping and a seashell search over chasing someone else’s good goal.

I will stay in my own lane and swim happily in it.

I will take this summer, however it looks, with my whole heart, and I will not make it smaller by comparison.

Together, we will remember that this summer—our summer—is a gift wrapped in beach towels and tied with a jump rope bow—and we will love every imperfect minute of it.

Cynthia M. Stuckey writes from a blue house in the

modern Deep South where she shares life with her husband, two daughters, and a black Labrador named Dickens. Cynthia has recently authored the book, Feasting & Foraging: A Collection of Essays on Hope and Food, and also writes online at happygostuckey.com. Find Cynthia on Instagram @happygostuckey.

Article adapted from The Joyful Life magazine, summer 2020. Used with permission.

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I believe in having a summer list of things that mean the most to my people, but I also believe in having a list of things I will not do this summer. Not a bossy, shouting sort of list, but a kind reminder for my heart during what can be the most carefree time of year.

I will see beauty in a season of less and embrace the knowledge that if rest is offered me, rest is where I am most needed.

17

faith CHATS

Inspire faith CHATS THAT

Timeless wisdom from women like you! compiled by Shelly Esser

F

rom time to time, we think it’s valuable to

revisit our archives of the incredible women

we’ve had the privilege of interviewing. Their

words of wisdom are timeless and just as rele-

vant today as they were when we first met them. We hope you will enjoy the variety of women we have

chatted with over the years, and that you will discover something new and fresh as God uses these three

women’s words again from past issues to encourage your heart today.

So settle in with your cup of coffee or favorite drink of choice and imagine yourself sitting across the table

from one of these incredible women of God. You’ll be

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so glad you did. Enjoy your visit!

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WINTER 2017

Annie Downs Looking for Lovely

What does it mean to look for lovely?

Annie: Looking for lovely is finding beautiful in your ev-

eryday life. It could be what we tend to think of as the “little things,” like a gorgeous day or beautiful flowers or grabbing sushi with friends. It can be big things, too, like getting a new job.

It doesn’t always have to be about us, either. Celebrating other people’s accomplishments is looking for lovely too. My friends may have something really awesome happen to them that I would love too, but I still find joy in celebrating them!

How do we develop a habit of looking for lovely?

Annie: Looking for lovely is absolutely a habit—it’s

something you develop and choose to do. Try giving thanks for at least one thing a day. Tell yourself “I’m not going to bed until I find something that made this life better or easier or happier.” Looking for lovely is a habit you build for yourself, with your community, family, and friends.

How do we “find” lovely in hard times?

Annie: Try to actively look for beautiful moments.

Remember God is still in control. He is good, kind, and what He’s doing on this planet is good, even when bad things happen. Sometimes the beauty in anything, especially the hard stuff, is that Jesus is still on the throne.

I do a lot of things that sound simple, but make a huge difference. For example, I write things on my bathroom mirror. Encouraging words from God’s Word that I would be forced to look at and read. Psalms, Proverbs… positive encouragement. I even have notes in my car!

I try to make practical, easy choices like listening to positive and uplifting music in the car. It’s these little actions that build you up and help you see the lovely— even in unlovely circumstances.

I am continually looking for things to refresh me, even small things. Like taking breaks every so often, and going for a walk. It feels good and God always shows me all the beauty around me. Or taking a nap! By taking breaks from the trenches of life, we’ll find more time to find the joy in life.

Annie Downs is a New York Times bestselling author,

sought-after speaker, and successful podcast host based in Nashville, Tenn. She is the co-founder of the That Sounds Fun Network—which includes her aptly named podcast, That Sounds Fun, and 2023’s Let’s Read the Gospels. Some of her books include 100 Days to Brave and Remember God. For more about Annie’s work, visit anniefdowns.com.

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SPRING 2017

Katherine Wolf Hope Heals

What happened to you that instantly changed your life forever?

Katherine: In 2004, we moved to Malibu, California,

where Jay attended Pepperdine Law School and I began pursuing a career in the entertainment industry as a model. In April of 2008, I suffered a massive brain stem stroke that nearly took my life, a rupture of an Arterial Venous Malformation (AVM). In 2016, the state of California deemed me permanently disabled. I was 28.

Since the stroke, I’ve had eleven surgeries and likely have to have many more. I still don’t walk well or use my right hand well, and I don’t eat, speak, see, or hear normally either. This 33-year-old body feels more like that of an 83-year-old. This has been a difficult assignment to say the least.

Were there moments of hopelessness as you struggled to recover?

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Katherine: I found myself wondering, has God made

20

a mistake? Should I have died? I’m caught between life and death. I can’t even walk or eat or play with my child. I’ve gone from making lasagna in my little kitchen to being fed all meals through a tube in my stomach.

I’ve gone from going on playdates with girlfriends to attending courses on disability adjustment. I used to power walk the hills of Pepperdine, now I have two physical therapists and a walker while I agonize to walk one step. I’ve gone from wearing a cute outfit every day to wearing adult diapers. I want my old life back! If I weren’t here anymore, things would be better for everyone. Jay could marry a normal, able-bodied woman, and James could have a normal mommy.

Everyone could stop putting life on hold to help me get well. It isn’t working. I kept thinking Jay and James and our sweet families don’t deserve this suffering. I should be in heaven.

How did you move from despair and hopelessness to a place of hope and inner healing?

Katherine: One day at a time, Jay and I are learning

not to hang out in the place of fear and of questioning what might happen. I knew deep inside that my “earth suit” was only temporary. My soul was not what was wasting away. My body didn’t work. That was all.

I have learned to do many things well—to wait well, suffer well, cope well, persevere well, and even to lose well.

Our culture tells us to succeed, be beautiful, avoid pain, and be happy. What if everything important in our lives is actually the opposite?

Maybe it takes life being undeniably terrible before we can truly recognize its undeniable splendor.

How would you encourage those walking in tough circumstances today?

Katherine: Suffering powerfully informs who I am now.

While awful and painful, affliction has led to a heartbreaking, but beautiful deepening in me. I have learned to embrace suffering. I have learned to not push back, but to lean into hard when it hurts the most and press on. Pain has been an instructor, teaching me deeper truths about myself and God and bringing me closer to Christ. We have not been crushed. The hope in our hearts has always been greater than despair because it anchors us.

Our hope is Jesus. We trust Him and all He is doing—in all that we understand and, all that we do not understand. One day, we will trace the lines of our scars and find them to have fallen in the most pleasant of places.

And in the glory of His face, the darkest suffering and loss we have endured will fade like shadows at daybreak. This is our truest healing—the healing of our souls—and it sustains us when we wake up tomorrow to an unknown but hopeful new day.

Katherine Wolf is a survivor and advocate who uses her

redemptive story to encourage those with broken bodies, broken brains, and broken hearts. She and her husband, Jay, have written Hope Heals and Suffer Strong and have spoken before millions. Katherine and her husband are the founders of Hope Heals camp, a community for families with disabilities like them.

Visit hopeheals.com or @hopeheals.

SUMMER 2016

Sharon Garlough Brown Draw Near to God’s Heart

What is a battle women face on their spiritual journeys toward conformity to the image of Christ?

What discipline have you found helpful recently?

Sharon: We do a lot of hiding and avoid intimate

that I’m very deliberate about practicing. When I practice this discipline, I celebrate the goodness of God and the love of God that has already been lavished on me.

relationships. We have not come far from the garden in terms of creating masks and fig leaves to hide behind.

Not just with God but with each other. Authenticity is a call to take off the masks, to come out from hiding, and to be known as we truly are.

How can women become more authentic with God, with themselves, and with others?

Sharon: We need to look at the areas in our lives

where we are hiding, identify why, and name our fears. Typically, it is a shame-based fear, a fear of rejection, or a fear of failure that prevents us from being authentic. Growing in authenticity is growing in security in God’s love. We need to find people who demonstrate God’s love to us so that we feel confident to come out from hiding and be real with one another.

Pray for the gift of one person with whom you can be completely honest, vulnerable, and transparent. If we don’t have such a relationship, we need to ask God to guide us into one. And we also need to seek God for the grace to be the sort of people others find trustworthy.

Our souls are timid and often need to be coaxed out of hiding gently.

What one spiritual discipline would you recommend to put into practice?

Sharon: If spiritual disciplines are meant to provide a

To help me practice celebration, I was challenged to choose a color in autumn and every time I saw the color to be reminded of how much God loves me. I chose purple.

I spent all autumn being totally amazed by purple. I would see a flash of purple out of the corner of my eye, like wildflowers on the side of the road, and immediately, my heart would rejoice in celebration. The Lord loves me! The Lord delights in me! It has taken practice but it has been soul-forming for me. I was good at being serious and not good at celebrating. Good at fasting and not good at feasting.

How can we encourage others to practice spiritual disciplines?

Sharon: We need to cast a vision for women that em-

phasizes the good news of God’s power to heal, transform, and set us free. Spiritual disciplines can play a key role in God’s work to make us more like Christ. And this work happens best in community, not in isolation. As leaders, we can model humility by disclosing some of our own fears and struggles. This kind of honesty can give someone else permission to come out from hiding behind a mask of perfection and say, “Me too.” What a beautiful gift to offer to one another.

Sharon Garlough Brown is the bestselling author of the

Sensible Shoes series. Her latest book is Feathers of Hope, the third book in the Shades of Light series. She and her husband, Jack, have served congregations in the US and UK and currently direct Abiding Way Ministries, providing spiritual formation retreats and resources. Sharon and Jack make their home in Dundee, Scotland. For more information, visit her website: sharongarloughbrown.com.

Shelly Esser has been the editor of

Just Between Us for over 30 years. She and her husband have four adult daughters, two sons-in-law, a grandson, and live in Menomonee Falls, Wis.

ȷustbetweenus summer 2023

pathway for a deepening intimacy and communion with God, then we’ve got to take seriously the invitation to attentiveness to the presence of God in the midst of our daily lives. There are some basic disciplines we can practice that help us prayerfully pay attention to God: Taking time to voice our gratitude. Lingering over the Word. Making unhurried time to listen well to a friend or serve someone with love. The difficult discipline of “slowing down” can deeply impact all of our relationships, especially our relationship with God.

Sharon: The spiritual discipline of celebration is one

21

JOY UNSPEAKABLE

GOD MET ME IN THE BACKROW OF MY GRIEF.

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by Lisa Elliott

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he year my son battled leukemia. I didn’t attend church. A hard feat as a pastor’s wife, I must say. Instead, I stayed at my son’s side, whether in the hospital or caring for him at home. After he died and I returned to church, it was a different experience for me. Gone was my freedom to minister and come alongside others as I’d been accustomed to doing all my ministry life. No longer did I feel comfortable sitting in my front pew where I felt watched. The thought of arriving first and leaving last to church, as I had done for as long as I could remember, was overwhelming. I’d have to engage and interact with people I hadn’t seen in over a year. All this combined produced panic attacks.

So, I moved from the front pew to the back, in hopes that I could avoid contact with anyone whom I might make uncomfortable in my raw grieving state. It was there, in the back pew, where I found a woman who welcomed me to sit with her. Week after week, she saved me a seat. Upon my “late” arrival, she’d get up out of the pew and allow me to slip in beside her. She didn’t do much talking. She certainly didn’t do any gawking. She simply sat at my side, provided me with Kleenex when necessary, and minded her own business—from time to time, laying her hand upon mine to assure me of her presence—singing softly in worship to our King. Her name just happened to be Joy. So, when people asked me how I was doing I would assure them that I was doing fine. “I find Joy in the back pew of the church every Sunday.” And that was the honest truth.

Joy taught me much about joy. She too had lost someone she loved dearly, so she knew the pain of grief. She had learned the wisdom of listening more than speaking into someone else’s pain. Week by week, as I sat at her side and took comfort in her quiet, unobtrusive presence, I took note of her behavior. These are some of the things that I learned: Joy does not equal happiness. Joy is not based on circumstances. Rather, joy is a choice we make amid circumstances. While you may have to dig a little deeper to find it, given the day, it’s rich when it’s found. Genuine joy always points to Jesus.

Joy and pain can coexist. There we sat together every Sunday, me in my deepest pain and Joy faithfully right beside me. It was peaceful. It was right. It was the best companion my pain could have welcomed.

Joy gives us the strength to take the next step. Joy reaches out His hand and invites us into a future one day at a time, one step at a time, one minute at a time, and one breath at a time. Joy carries us from strength

Joy tells us that there is life after death. Eternal hope and everlasting joy is ours as we recognize that the abundant life that God calls us to live begins here and now on earth, not just there and then once we enter our eternal home. “…Those the LORD has rescued will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away” (Isa. 35:10).

Joy frees us to worship God through our tears. In my Sunday experience, Joy would sing softly and quietly in worship to our King as I wept beside her. There was something about worship that joined heaven and earth in a beautiful, heavenly harmony. “Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty” (Rev. 4:8).

Joy accompanies God as He works in the deep recesses of our hearts meant only for Him. “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans” (Rom. 8:26).

He rejoices with us as we rejoice and mourns with us as we mourn (Rom. 12:15).

Joy doesn’t necessarily have answers...joy just is. The gift of wordless understanding and quiet compassion cannot be beat. “Because of the LORD’S great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.’ The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD” (Lam. 3:24-26).

Joy reminds us that although the pain of loss never fully goes away it will get easier to deal with as God’s healing takes full effect. Initially, pain feels jagged and sharp but slowly the Great Physician brings healing through the balm of joy.

Joy opens us up to new things about God we never knew. “Mourning may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning” (Ps. 30:5).

Joy celebrates the ways God uses our pain to reach others. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God” (2 Cor. 1:3-4).

I thank the Lord that, even amid my deepest pain, I find unspeakable joy.

Lisa Elliott is a speaker and award-

winning author of The Ben Ripple and Dancing in the Rain. Her latest book is A Ministry Survival Guide. She and her pastorhusband, David, live in Ottawa, Ontario.

They have four adult children (one in heaven), a son-in-law, a daughter-in-law, and four grandchildren.

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Joy is not a feeling, it is a “knowing.” Joy offers a sense of God’s presence amid pain and grief. It’s a being still and knowing kind of experience (Ps. 46:10).

to strength (Ps. 84:7-12), because the “Joy of the LORD is our strength” (Neh. 8:10).

23

Beauty WHEN

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DIMINISHES

24

I

Learning to age well.

by Jen Allee

am getting older, and I don’t like it. I already succumbed to coloring the gray a few years ago but now stubborn pounds are taking up residence around my waistline and wrinkles are forging their way across my skin like slow-moving glaciers. I can handle the uninvited aches and pains, but I don’t like losing what is left of my youthful appearance.

Beauty.

The Bible says beauty is fleeting (Prov. 31:30). In fact, that is almost all the Bible says about it. Did you know the word “beauty” is only found in approximately 35

places in Scripture (depending on your translation)?

God does not make much of it, yet it is a constant critic in our daily lives. Every woman has some type of love/ hate relationship with her beauty.

Our culture is obsessed with appearance, and beauty is often synonymous with youth. Aging is not welcome, and we go to extraordinary lengths to avoid it. The beauty industry is booming with products, injections, pills, and chemicals all designed to derail a process that keeps marching on.

Beauty Versus Purpose

Recently, I made a chocolate cake. It stood three layers tall, with a tart raspberry filling and waves of rich buttercream frosting. The bottom edge was adorned with tiny gold balls and a dash of gold glitter was sprinkled on top. Proudly displayed on a glass pedestal, it accompanied me and my husband to a dinner party where, after a bit of admiration, it was sliced, shared, and enjoyed.

As we drove home, I gazed at the cake plate that now held smears of icing with one large, solitary piece of cake. The metaphor was too hard to miss. What was once so beautiful was now a mess.

Or was it?

If the cake had remained tall and adorned, yet untouched, it would have missed its purpose. Though it was beautiful, it was never meant to stay in that exact shape and form. If it had never been sliced, the chocolate and raspberry combination would never have been enjoyed. The icing that had been whipped until it was light and airy would never have been appreciated.

The cake had been the catalyst for a continued evening of laughter and stories, thus making the party even sweeter. Therefore, that lone piece left standing wasn’t chastised for leaning a little to the right. No, it was celebrated for being the centerpiece of an evening well spent.

Why can’t we as women view ourselves similarly? Why is there enormous pressure to remain in a bodily state that is physically impossible? Eventually no chemical, cream, or treatment will forgo the inevitable. We are all on the same moving sidewalk of life heading toward the same destination of wrinkles, soft middles, and sagging skin.

Beauty Misses the Point

In 2 Samuel 11 we catch David sneaking a glimpse of a woman taking a bath and he noted “she was very beautiful” (v.2). Obviously, it wasn’t Bathsheba’s cooking or organizational skills that attracted him to her. It was simply her beauty. The word beautiful in this verse is the Hebrew word “tob.” And guess where else we find this word? All throughout Genesis 1! At the end of each day, God declared that His creation was tob. After man was made in His image, He stated it was very tob (v.31). Everything God created was not just good, but beautiful.

But nowhere in that purpose is the absolute need to maintain our outward beauty. To focus on our outward appearance is to miss the point of our lives. Scripture doesn’t say all the days ordained for us were meant to be lived with smooth skin and firm biceps. Paul doesn’t quip that God prepared good works for us, and we must walk in them with blonde hair.

Just like chocolate cake, God spent time putting the ingredients of our lives together knowing that, in some seasons, we would stand tall and physically beautiful.

But that was never the goal. He intended for us to bless those around us.

As the years of our lives pass by, instead of reveling in who we have been sliced and served to, we tend to focus on the chunk still left standing on the cake plate.

We keep turning the plate hoping no one will see the blobs of icing and smeared glitter and instead focus on what still looks decorated and presentable. But let’s be honest. The longer we live, the less remains on the plate.

Redefining Beauty

Maintaining an appearance of youthful beauty has never been God’s goal for us. Yet our culture has convinced us that our worth, identity, and happiness is dependent upon it. This message is relentlessly communicated, and we can’t help but listen. As a result, we wrestle with disappointment when we are unable to maintain on the outside what has determined our worth on the inside.

God clearly tells us that beauty is fleeting. Yet, we have made it our mission to prove Him wrong. But even as we fight a battle we will never win, God offers us encouragement. In 2 Corinthians 4:16, we are reminded that “though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” What a promise! God created us in beautiful fashion, knowing that outward beauty would one day be replaced with an inner renewal that would take us all the way to His throne in Heaven.

It’s time to stop rotating the cake plate so it only shows the decorated parts of my layered life. I’ve got smudges and crumbs and random adornments all about me, but I don’t want to be ashamed of them. Rather, as I move into the next season of womanhood, I want to remember I was made to live. May my beauty be found in the stories each slice leaves behind.

Jen Allee is an author and a speaker who believes a strong faith is built one intentional step at a time. For encouragement in taking your next step, visit her at Living Intentionally at jenallee.com.

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Consider the trees in the Garden of Eden. They were produced for sustenance, but God also designed them to be “pleasant to the eye” (Gen. 2:9). Why is that?

Simply put, God doesn’t make anything ugly. It’s not in His nature. So, when God says He formed us and knitted us together in our mother’s womb (Ps. 139:13), we can compare that with Gen. 1:31 and know that we, too, are made very good. Beautiful, in fact.

Additionally, we know we were “created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Eph. 2:10). So, when God saw us in the secret place and pieced together our ligaments and sinews, He had good works in mind for us to accomplish.

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“The teacher searched to find just the right words, and what he wrote was upright and true.”

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Ecclesiastes 12:10

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Words THATWork A worshipping heart is the key.

by Jill Briscoe

H

ave you ever felt tongue-tied? It’s horrid to feel inadequate, overwhelmed with a “word task.” Have you ever faced an angry teenager, a hostile colleague? Are you a teacher, Bible study leader, or small group facilitator? Have you ever had to find words that work?

I had a chance to talk to a large group of people, but there wasn’t enough time to prepare. I was scared.

There would be doctors and politicians there—PhDs and rich people. Self-important people, a handful of people who believed like I did, and some who didn’t believe much of anything. I began to think of all the people whom I could recommend who could do the job better.

I felt miserable about declining the invitation, but I thought it would be best for the people inviting me.

After all, I wasn’t trained enough, and I didn’t have time enough to put a good talk together! They wouldn’t listen to me, I decided.

Before I wrote the letter declining the invitation, I decided I’d better check it out with the Lord, even though I was reluctant, anticipating what He might say.

I ran to The Front Door. I was breathless when I arrived.

He had seen me coming and He was waiting.

“Catch your breath.” He said, smiling.

“I’ve decided to say no,” I announced.

“Then why did you come here?”

“I know I shouldn’t say yes or no without checking with You,” I replied, self-righteously.

“Why are you going to say no?” He asked. I knew He knew the answer.

“I feel so inadequate—and I don’t have time.”

“Worship Me,” He said unexpectedly.

“But I have to go.”

“Worship Me.” I stilled then, pulling my rushing soul up with a jerk.

And so, I did. It took a little while, but then it was done.

My words nestled down at His feet and I began to worship Him there. Then a wonderful thing happened. The words I was using to worship Him kept coming, along with new ideas. These were words and ideas I’d never had before! Suddenly, I realized they were perfect for the clever people, and the high and mighty people, and even the clever, worldly-wise people I would be talking to. What’s more, somehow, I knew my words had wings!

It had happened. I knew I had my talk. It would be a talk that would wing its way to many a heart.

Reading me, He said, “These words will fly high and bend low. They will race to the hearts of men and women ahead of other worldly words. They will find their target. They will honor Me, and they will work. My child, words that have Me first, will work. My child, words that have first worshipped, will always work.”

Then He was gone, and I lingered even though I needed to go. I noticed the heavenly pencil and notepaper He had left behind, so I thought I would leave Him a little note—I sort of turned it into a prayer. It said: Give my words wings, Lord.

May they alight gently on the branches of men’s minds bending them to the winds of Your will.

May they fly high enough to touch the lofty, low enough to breathe the breath of sweet encouragement upon the downcast soul.

Give my words wings, Lord.

May they fly swift and far, winning the race with the words of the worldly wise, to the hearts of men.

Give my words wings, Lord.

See them now, nesting— down at Thy feet.

Silenced into ecstasy, home at last.

Lord, help me to remember that words that have worshipped are words that must work! I need always to run to The Front Door before I say yes or no to an invitation to speak or teach. May Your Spirit then always give my words wings.

Thank You Lord, Jill.

“You sound a bit like Jonah to me,” He said with a laugh.

I keep this prayer in my heart. I use it nearly every day!

You can borrow it if you like. Help yourself!

“Well, I don’t want to spend time in the big fish!” I replied. “But I am struggling with the word thing. How do I worship You when my mind keeps forming sentences, and trying to think of illustrations?”

Jill Briscoe was born in Liverpool,

England. She has been in ministry for over 60 years, has written more than 40 books.

Jill is the founder of Just Between Us. She can be heard regularly on Telling the Truth.

She lives in southeast Wisconsin.

ȷustbetweenus summer 2023

“All right.” I knelt at His feet. My soul kept looking at its watch! I couldn’t concentrate. I felt badly about it. “I don’t know how to focus at the moment, Lord,” I said. “I know you think I should do it—that’s why I thought twice about coming to ask You!”

“Worship Me!”

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How women struggling with pornography and shame can find freedom.

by Jessica Harris

QUENCHED M

y exposure to pornography happened innocently enough—just a stray video while researching for school. There was very little realization or discussion then of the dangers lurking online. I believed I had come across a perfectly healthy way to explore and express my sexuality.

By the time I graduated from high school, pornography, masturbation, and lust were second nature.

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Recognizing my use might be out of control, I tried to dial back the time I spent watching pornography. Some days I would wake up and say, “Not today. I will not use porn today.” Without fail, I would find myself back at the computer, logging on to the same sites. I felt hopeless to stop. When I searched for help, there were no resources for women. Could I be the only woman in the world who had done this?

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For me, being able to fully embrace this part of me spelled freedom. My double life had gotten old. I searched desperately for freedom—freedom from pretending. I spent months trying to figure out how to apply for work on porn sites.

Thankfully, it wasn’t as easy as applying for a job at the local mall. God worked mightily in those months and I decided to attend Bible college. I went into Bible college with the mindset that pornography had to come with me. I couldn’t shake it and, in my mind, God was just going to have to understand that. I had tried to break free from it but couldn’t so I figured I would be stuck with it forever.

I reasoned plenty of pastors and missionaries struggled with pornography and still did great work. Therefore, I could be a Christian girl who struggled with pornography. To me, that felt as close to freedom as I could get.

My use continued to escalate when I went to college.

The dean staff flagged my internet history and then dismissed it because “women don’t have this problem.”

But it still isn’t freedom.

Freedom felt out of reach. Getting rid of pornography didn’t look like a possibility. It felt as though I’d gone too far. I couldn’t picture a life without pornography. After that meeting, I gave up on trying to break free. I sent nudes to a guy online. Then I dropped out of college.

Yes.

Is true freedom from a struggle with sexual sin possible?

It’s not only possible, it’s exactly what God desires for us. But so many of us think that what God wants is us to just stop it—all on our own. We think He wants us to get our act together first and then come to Him. We don’t see the Gospel as a fight for our freedom.

Throughout the Bible, we read about God’s desire for freedom. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.

Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” (Gal. 5:10). “For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death” (Rom. 8:2, ESV).

God desires to liberate us from our longing for things that don’t satisfy. The freedom of the gospel is not watching porn without shame; it’s being liberated from the need to watch porn and from the shame of having once watched porn. It’s not freedom to lust without inhibition; it’s freedom from the traps of lust. The freedom God offers releases us from our past mistakes, our present struggles, and our future shame.

God desires to liberate us from our longing for things that don't satisfy.

I found my path to freedom while at Bible college.

The dean of women stood in front of the room full of young Christian women and said, “We know some of you struggle with pornography and masturbation, and we’re here to help you.”

That conversation was a shining light of hope that cut through the fog of my heart. When I confessed, they met me with grace. They could have told me I was disgusting, disgraceful, and unworthy. Instead, they called my confession brave. They spoke the truth, and it was the truth that set me free.

Even still, the breaking the hold of pornography on my life took nearly two years of mentoring and discipleship.

The best thing that happened in my journey of freedom was the team of women who helped me see who I am without pornography. As I discovered and believed my identity in Christ, pornography’s hold on my life lessened. I found freedom not through finding new tricks to modify my behavior but instead by embracing who Christ meant for me to be.

Let’s Talk Statistics

The church has been relatively silent about women and their struggle with pornography simply because the statistics don’t seem to merit a reaction.

In my years of speaking out on this topic, I have seen people try to reduce this struggle to some sort of formula. They make a lot of assumptions. They assume (wrongly) that if a woman struggles with pornography, then she must have a history of sexual abuse. Or she must have a father wound. They picture a Proverbs 5 harlot, when in reality, plenty of “Proverbs 31” women have this struggle.

There isn’t a “story template” for this. Women who struggle come from any and every background. Your family may be marked by abuse and abandonment, or it may be picture-perfect and full of love. You may have grown up in church or come to Jesus as an adult.

You may have been sexually abused or grown up with healthy examples of sexuality around you.

God doesn’t depend on statistics.

There are only three statistics God cares about: all, none, and everyone.

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Rom. 3:23).

“None is righteous, no, not one” (Rom. 3: 10, ESV).

“Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved” (Rom. 10:13).

That is the message of the gospel and grace and the truth that sets us free.

No matter where you are, who you are, what you’ve done, or what has been done to you, God desires you and He desires your freedom.

Shame’s most powerful work is convincing us that we are undesirable and alone. It will cut you off and exile you from all hope of connection, healing, and grace. But shame is also wrong. Finally, we are seeing the statistics that prove we are not alone, but even if there were no statistics, we’d be left with a lifeline: grace.

The Long Walk Back to the Well

In John 4, we meet a woman who, according to some Bible teachers, is in a place of shame and disconnection. This story took place at a well, in Samaria, at high noon. The disciples went into town, leaving a weary Jesus behind to rest. Then, a woman came to draw water.

What if, as many Bible teachers have surmised, shame motivated this woman’s choice to draw water at noon, all alone so she would avoid the judging eyes, the condescending stares?

That would mean every day, every step the Samaritan woman took would remind her of her choices, her worth, her value. She had only herself to blame for every bead of sweat, every aching muscle. A normal task of everyday life had become a form of torture or penance.

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At the height of my struggle there just weren’t statistics for women. Now there are. A recent study published in the Journal of Sex Research indicated that up to 60 percent of all women were consuming some form of pornography (video, picture, or written) at least monthly. A 2016 study by Barna showed almost 20 percent of Christian women use porn regularly, but the real numbers are likely higher. At the end of the day, though, I don’t put a lot of weight in statistics. The way I see it, grace didn’t come for statistics. Grace came for stories.

Your Story Matters

➜

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continued

Isn’t this how shame operates in our own lives? We each have some version of a “long walk to the well,” something that shame has affected deeply.

The Fallout of Shame

My shame didn’t come from the fact my family refused to talk about sex. It wasn’t because of my legalistic church. My shame came from worshipping my own image of perfection. I worked hard to be the perfect student, the perfect Christian girl.

Pornography threatened that perfection. Shame erupted from the thought of being exposed. My pursuit of perfection left me empty.

Shame Invited Grace

Who knows how many days the Samaritan woman made the walk to that well and wished it could be different. On this day, however, things would change. Not because of anything she had done but because she met Jesus. Her shame had an encounter with grace, and grace changes everything.

The Broken Road to Your Struggle

Our takeaway from John 4 is Jesus is the Living Water, but there is depth to that statement beyond salvation and eternal life. When that Living Water spills into our deepest longings, we experience healing for our brokenness.

What did Jesus offer the woman at the well? Himself?

Sure. But beyond that, reconciliation. He knew all she ever did, knew exactly what she had done, and still offered Himself. The woman stood face-to-face with the long-awaited Messiah and didn’t face judgment or shame but instead encountered patience and grace.

That should bring hope to all of us who struggle with sexual sin. In the middle of our pornography struggle, or even after we’ve found freedom, we can feel far from desirable and remarkably alone. But God is not pushing us away, disgusted with us. He is not writing us off as lost causes. God’s desire is not that we get our lives right; it’s that we come to Him. This truth has to sink into your heart. It forms your new identity. It hands you the keys to your freedom. Any step toward freedom or healing you take is rooted in this reality.

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As my old mentor, Sarah, once told me, “You have to love God more than you hate the sin.”

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We can give ourselves a list of reasons why what we are doing is bad. You don’t need anyone to tell you how dark it is. Making the darkness darker doesn’t lead us toward the light. It doesn’t set us free. It doesn’t show us which way to go. It just compounds our feelings of loss and helplessness.

If we want a way out, we need light. The light isn’t an accountability partner. It isn’t a password protector on the computer. It isn’t a twelve-week program. The light is a relationship with the Messiah, and He offers this to us freely. He desires us. He desires a relationship with us. Our freedom and continued fight must be rooted in this truth.

His heart is for our reconciliation and freedom. This is why He came.

Your most pressing need isn’t to get rid of pornography. Your most pressing need is to understand where you stand with Jesus, to realize God’s abundant grace for you.

The woman at the well didn’t know it, but the love she had been looking for literally stood right in front of her.

The same holds true for us. We are on a search for acceptance, intimacy, and unconditional love, and we look for it in so many places. In a world of broken and false loves, in a culture that tells us the only love that matters is a love for self, the love we have been looking for has been standing in front of us all along.

Resources to Help Websites Authentic Intimacy Dr. Juli Slattery is the cofounder of Authentic Intimacy, a teaching ministry intended to help Christians reclaim God’s design for their sexuality.

The website has multiple resources such as online materials and book studies, along with a discipleship program. authenticintimacy.com Beggar’s Daughter Author Jessica Harris shares her story along with other useful resources such as recommendations for books, Bibles studies, online programming, counseling, and more for Christian women dealing with pornography. beggarsdaughter.com Book

Sexual Shame in Women and How to Experience Freedom by Dr. Joy Skarka. This book will help women learn about sexual shame while looking at the issues of pornography and sexual abuse.

Jessica Harris is a writer and international speaker who

talks openly and honestly about pornography addiction among Christian women in order to facilitate healing. She is recognized as a leading voice on the topic of female porn use and addiction in the church, and she has been featured on media such as ABC’s Nightline, The 700 Club, Focus on the Family, and Cru. Her book, Quenched: Discovering God’s Abundant Grace for Women Struggling with Pornography and Sexual Shame was released in January (Baker Books).

This adaptation is from Jessica Harris’s book, Quenched, Discovering God’s Abundant Grace for Women Struggling with Pornography and Sexual Shame, Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, January 2023. Used with permission.

Christian Grief Recovery A Precious Loss

By Sharon Fox

Grieving with God

By Sharon Fox

Journaling to Heal Your Broken Heart

Reframing Adoption

Beyond the Pain of Miscarriage and Infant Death

By Sharon Fox

Christian-Based Birthmother Grief Recovery Handbook

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Inviting Others In Connie Chandler is extending God’s love from her wheelchair.

ȷustbetweenus summer 2023

by Sarah Rooker

32

P

ink wheels adorn Connie Chandler’s electric wheelchair. With the twist of a dial, a whir lifts her high into the air. “Look,” she says with a grin on her face, “I’ll sit at the same height in group photos!” She rises even higher. “And, more importantly, I can look at you in the eye!”

A woman in her late 30s, Connie has spinal muscular atrophy type two (SMA2). Neurons fail to send signals to Connie’s voluntary muscles. In her living room, faded family photos depict the slow progression of the disease. In one, Connie’s girlish grin beams in a bright white leotard as she braces herself between a walker.

Over 30 years later, Connie perches in her wheelchair as we chat.

From morning to night, Connie requires the help of a caregiver. From transferring from her bed to her wheelchair, to using the bathroom, to dressing for the day, to preparing a meal, to getting ready for bed, Connie depends on an extra set of hands. Throughout the years, she has used a variety of caregiving models, but she recently felt convicted to roll outside of her comfort zone.

A Daring Move

In her job at a nonprofit, Connie encourages families of children with disabilities to use their communities in caregiving. One day it hit her. “I realized that I needed to practice what I preached. How could I instruct families to invite their communities in when I failed to practice the same?” With a gulp and a prayer, Connie temporarily moved from her parents’ home in North Carolina to Indiana. She had spent her early adult years in Fort Wayne, and much of her past community still lived in the town.

As she thought about who would function as her hands and feet, she had three options: hire a Medicare caregiver, ask a handful of old college friends, or form a team of women. She chose the risky one. “I just kept telling myself that the three-month trial would end in August.” A soft snicker hints at her naivety.

As Connie prayed for a team, women appeared from all around Fort Wayne. Old and new friends approached and asked to join her caregiving team.

Friends invited friends. Bible studies became recruiting opportunities. “People wanted to help. They wanted to play a part in something beyond themselves. They just needed an invitation.” With Connie’s meticulous planning, her team formed. Women offered their time, their hands, and their feet to her. As she tenderly brought each woman into her daily life, she offered them herself.

Connie’s physical needs naturally require a level of vulnerability, but that summer demanded a new level from her. “I find it difficult to ask for help and to admit a lack of independence. But I needed to ask my friends to serve as my hands and feet.” Asking for help, Connie discovered, brought great reward. Her vulnerability created emotional vulnerability from her friends.

The caregiving success Connie experienced compelled her to do something drastic at the end of her test run.

She bought a house. On a quiet suburban street, Connie transformed her new house into a home as she fulfilled a lifelong dream of curating a gathering space for her friends. “I want my friends to find refuge in my home.”

Connie named her house “Salt Life Cottage” as a nod to her life back in North Carolina. Now land-locked in Indiana, she trades salty sea air for the soothing rhythms of intimate community. The aroma of freshly baked scones mingles with giggles as each inch of her home fills with the warmth of fellowship. A team of 21 women band together to provide Connie care.

Assigned their shifts in a spreadsheet, friends trickle in and out of her home in an unbroken stream.

She cherishes when friends drop in unannounced. “I tell everyone to stop in. And I mean it.” Countless friends readily accept the invitation because her rhythm of life offers a drastic contrast from hectic schedules. Ever humble, Connie pauses before sharing feedback she received. “Women feel like they can slow down with me.”

I know firsthand that those women mean something other than her physical speed. Connie once sent me breathlessly racing after her and her motorized wheelchair as we zipped to a dinner reservation. Certainly, her physical needs require extended time, but Connie beckons friends to slow down as she looks them in the eye and inquires about their lives. In those sacred moments, nothing feels urgent.

Parked in her office today, she glances out to her gravel driveway. “I love sitting in my office. I can see when my friends pull up.” As they get out of their cars and step over the threshold, Connie lifts up prayers for them. Connie sees each woman as an opportunity to extend God’s love as she offers them a safe relational space to feel known, seen, and loved.

As if to demonstrate her ability, Connie turns the vulnerability question back to me. “Do you have a tangible need you want God to meet?” Mirroring her raw self-expression, I voiced an embarrassing desire for a concrete hug now and again. Connie gently tends to my vulnerability. “Exactly.” She nods. “We serve as one another’s hands, feet, hugs, and hearts. We just need to ask each other in.”

Sarah Rooker believed in Jesus at age five, but when she was in her early 20s, Jesus commandeered her heart. From tending to kiddos with cardiac defects to now caring for mothers with unplanned pregnancies at a pregnancy resource clinic, Sarah cares about the brokenhearted as a nurse. After a move from Tennessee to Texas, Sarah is finishing a Master of Arts in Christian Education at Dallas Theological Seminary.

ȷustbetweenus summer 2023

In the rhythms of caregiving, each member of the team engages in heartfelt conversations with Connie.

“As my friends help me get dressed for the day and use the bathroom and brush my teeth, we talk about their days. They inevitably open up, too.” She tends to their emotional needs with intentional questions, prayers amidst adversity, and pastoral counseling.

Connie’s mix of godly obedience and affinity for the field of psychology cultivates blossoming friendships.

Building a Place of Refuge

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Relinquished A miracle story of hope and healing.

by Nancy Sessions

I

t was December 11, 2020. Les and I had been clearing some trees from our land. We had both tested positive for COVID-19 eight days before and as we neared our house, we agreed that we were now home free from COVID. We did not have symptoms.

We were a few miles from home; however, when Les suddenly began to feel sick. I wanted to go to the hospital right away, but Les is a doctor who has always been very healthy. His response was, “The hospital is for people who are really sick. I’ll be okay!”

ȷustbetweenus summer 2023

I stayed up all night and watched as his fever rose.

Early the next morning, I was in the kitchen making the family’s “makes-you-well” chicken soup when Les entered the kitchen. In a panicky voice, he said, “I need to get to the hospital now!” He could hardly get a breath!

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When we arrived at the hospital, the staff put him into a wheelchair, and I did not see him for eight weeks. Covid had suddenly overcome Les on the eighth day. When I left him and drove home, that drive was the longest four-mile journey I could have ever imagined. I prayed for our Lord Jesus to help me and to bring Les home quickly. I called the hospital but could get no answers.

“When we give something to the Lord Jesus, He I lay down on the sofa, never removing my coat with my purse still over my shoulder all night. I was frozen with shock and fear. Echoes of the horrifying constant news reports of suffering and death from COVID filled my mind. I tried to fight them off, believing that Les would soon be well and home again.

gives back more than we could ever dream.”

The next morning, a nurse called to say that Les had been placed in the COVID ICU on a ventilator. COVID had overtaken Les! I was told that I could not visit him, but that someone would update me each day.

Our sons were on their way, and I remained emotionally frozen, sitting on the sofa until they arrived. Their presence was such a comfort and a relief! Their wives took care of their families for weeks to come. I was unable to read my Bible, but I carried it with me every minute and I slept with it. Life as we all knew it had been suspended.

During that time, the Holy Spirit taught me many things that I would like to share with you.

Power of Relinquishment. About the fourth week, as

I lay in bed one night, I placed my hand on Les’s side of the bed and gave my sweet husband to the Lord. It was a sweet, but very hard time. God gave me such peace that I will never forget. I began to experience the power of peace that comes from letting go.

24-Hour Compartments. Les was in the ICU for

eight weeks and spent seven more weeks in a room where he was being weaned from the ventilator. When I could finally visit Les, I dreaded coming to the corner as I got off the elevator. I was afraid because I did not know if he would be worse or possibly not alive. I began to repeat my life verse over and over before I got on the elevator: “Fear not, for I am with you. I will help you and I will strengthen you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Is. 41:10). Each time, I could feel God holding my hand and I was able to walk on, not knowing what I would find.

Stillness. I talked to friends often, but God showed

me that I must just learn to be still with Him in the pain.

I had worked so hard to present myself to others as if everything was great, especially when it was not. God showed me that such pretense was pride and I had to learn to let people know me just as I really am—my real self in Christ. each day and to do something good for someone else every day. I began with small things, such as candy for the nurses. I brought an orderly a candy bar once a week. I was surprised when she looked as if nobody had ever given her anything! I learned that even when I am weak, I can be strong. I began to be thankful.

tor told us that we should let Les die. She said that his major organs were too badly damaged for him to live.

She informed us that to continue with his hopeless condition would not only prolong his pain, but it would gradually destroy our family. I began to sob, laying my head on Les’s shoulder, not knowing he was awake. He took the edge of the sheet and began to dry my tears.

I was feeling so confused about whether to agree to just let Les die when a woman I had never seen before came into the room. She was a very tall lady who wore a red jacket, and she had a red flower in her hair. She looked me straight in the eye and said, “Don’t listen to anybody but Jesus!” Then she walked out of the room, and I never saw her again.

Hope Returned. The next day, a pulmonologist came.

She saw hope! She pulled up a chair, looked directly at Les, and offered him possible choices of life and death.

She told him that she still saw life in him and suggested that we not give up at that point. She explained, “We can continue treatment and three things may happen.

You may have a heart attack, a stroke, or you can live and have a different kind of life. What do you want to do?” Les and I both believed that Jesus had spoken, and a new day of hope had begun. We chose life!

After several more weeks in this hospital, Les began to recover and several weeks later, he was able to go to a nursing home for many weeks of physical therapy.

Gradually, he continued to recover and was finally able to come home! It had been 237 days since I had left Les at the hospital. He continued treatment from home for several more months.

Most Important Lesson. These are just a few of the

lessons I learned along the way, but the most lasting one is: When we give something to the Lord Jesus, He gives back more than we could ever dream. Sometimes I still feel afraid, but then gratitude takes over the fear. I am learning to live life in daily relinquishment, but there is such freedom and peace in trusting God. I want everyone I know to believe that.

It has now been 500 days since I first left Les at the hospital! He just returned home from work—at the hospital, providing healing for sick people. I, as well as all who know our story, call him a walking, talking, healing miracle. Thank You, Lord!

Nancy Sessions lives in Little Rock,

Ark., and has been married to her husband, Leslie, for 53 years. She has three sons and a daughter-in-law, and seven grandchildren.

ȷustbetweenus summer 2023

Gratitude. I determined to thank God for two things

Tears. I only cried two times. A palliative care doc-

35

My

STORY

Blended and Beautiful

Garyanna Stalick

A

fter refreshing my morning coffee, I sat down and opened my devotional book. The author talked about a couple whose blended life reflected God’s harmony. Both of their previous homes were filled with special memories which they wanted to incorporate into their new life. I was struck by the thought, “She could have been writing about me.

That’s my story.”

“Tell me about your family,” Moe said.

I first met Moe Reynolds, with her infectious smile and big personality, when my then-to-be husband, Bob, suggested we get the help of an interior decorator to put together our new home. My late husband and Bob’s late wife passed away 33 days apart. Our families knew each other because we were involved in some of the same organizations. After their deaths, Bob and I joined a grief group to heal. Everyone saw it before we did, but finally we figured out that we had more to talk about than our shared grief. And the rest is history, as they say.

In the family room, Moe asked, “Who will be using this room?” Our 14 grandchildren ages infant to college. So, above the piano, Moe placed a large picture of Bob and my wedding, and over the couch is a “gallery” of pictures of our 14 grandchildren. Every year, the gallery is taken down and new school pictures are added. This entire room is dedicated to the present.

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I had a house, so did Bob. After we married, we decided to build a new home together. This brings me back to Moe. She walked through my house and said, “You have a home full of items, but if a thing doesn’t have a story, it’s just a thing. Tell me what’s special to you.”

We talked about the copper piece I brought back from South America where I lived with my late husband for two years.

36

Moe said, “These are more than artifacts, they are memories. We have to find a place for them.” She did the same with Bob in his house when he mentioned a beautiful John Richen sculpture given to him by his late wife to celebrate the completion of his doctorate degree. It has a place of honor in our new home.

In our guest bedroom, Moe asked, “Who will be spending the most time in this room?

“Our family,” we replied.

We explained that between us we had five grown children with their own families. She then asked us to pick our favorite wedding picture of each of them. Identical frames were made for them, and she arranged them on the wall in the guest room in a blended pattern. This entire room is dedicated to our past.

Moe said, “Both of you will bring part of your old lives with you into your new house. It’s part of who you are.”

Each room has an item from our old lives, and something we have picked out together. Everywhere you look are stories of the past and present—dedicating our home to our future together.

Moe’s help was not as an interior decorator but more as a life coach. The theme of our home “blended” is everywhere—something God put together.

“By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures” (Prov. 24:3-4).

The devotional ended by saying if God builds a house, its foundation will endure. That certainly is true for Bob and me. Moe helped us with a new blended beginning, which God has built on over these past 20 years.

Garyanna Stalick, BA, MEd, is a two-time Oregon Christian Writers Cascade writing contest finalist for short stories. She is a retired educator who loves to travel with her husband and bake cookies for their 14 grandchildren. She lives in the Pacific Northwest and enjoys sharing life reflection stories.

10 WAYS TO BRING

Joy

TO YOUR DAY!

God’s goodness is everywhere, if we’re willing to seek and find Him.

1.

By Ann M. Cook & Karaline Huenink ake a hike where you can see either T the sunrise of a new day or the sunset after a day well spent.

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it (Ps. 118:24).

2. Meet a friend for lunch at an inviting outdoor venue, on a pleasant summer day.

o and enjoy choice food and sweet G drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength (Neh. 8: 10).

3.

Reflect on the times God uses your

children to encourage, strengthen, and remind you of Him; whether it’s a song they sing out, a question they ask, or a prayer overheard—find joy in watching their growth in the Lord.

4.

Enjoy your favorite morning brew in a

cozy, quiet corner—reflecting on God’s presence in your life.

5. Create something new! Paint, craft, bake, garden, or restore—use your imagination and the gifts you’ve been given.

7.

Listen to your favorite playlist—dance a library and browse the shelves, or attend a book club. or sing with music in your heart!

8.

ing to him a new song; play skillfully, S and shout for joy (Ps. 33:3). ake your favorite cookies or muffins B and share half with a neighbor, coworker, or friend—bringing joy to others brings joy to us as well.

I f you keep my commandments and obey my teaching, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and remain in His love. I have told you these things so that my joy and delight may be in you, and that your joy may be made full and complete and overflowing. This is my commandment that you love and unselfishly seek the best for one another, just as I have loved you (John 15:10-12, AMP).

9. Take a bike ride—feel the warm breeze 10. Spend 15 minutes praising God and

and sunshine on your face—especially after rainy or gray cloudy days. lifting up anything on your heart to Him.

ntil now you have not asked for U anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete (John 16:24).

summer2023 2023 betweenus ȷust ȷustbetween us summer

ou make known to me the path Y of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore (Ps. 16:11).

6. Read one of your favorite books, visit

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STRENGTHENING YOUR SOUL

Are You Cold and Unresponsive?

by Melva L. Henderson

M

any years ago, I met a man at a convention who, in my opinion, was “over the top.”

Whenever we encountered him, he was full of what I judged to be this fake sense of joy.

He would say most annoyingly, “Amen, Brother! Amen, Sister!” or “Glory to God!” My husband and I would have to stand and listen to him go on and on about all the things he possessed and his latest revelations from God. It bothered me so much that I eventually began begging my husband to turn and go in another direction whenever we saw him coming. If I couldn’t get away, I would stand there, cold and unresponsive, as my husband and the man conversed.

Cold Turned Warm

One day, as I was in prayer, I heard these words in my heart, “You struggle with that brother because you are envious of his accomplishments and his level of spiritual maturity. Repent and embrace him.” Although those words appeared random, I knew what they meant. I repented and aligned my heart in obedience to God. Today the gentleman is one of our closest ministry friends.

Too often, we are intolerant of people who may not act or think as we do. Carnal Christians get easily annoyed with spiritual Christians, and spiritual Christians are often irritated by and pull away from carnal Christians. And in each instance, both can operate as I did—cold and unresponsive.

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The Father’s Heart

38

The Body of Christ is a body, one that God designed to function harmoniously. When division is allowed among us, it hinders the flow of God’s power and love among us. Satan, our enemy, longs for opportunities to drive wedges that keep God’s children apart, so he works overtime, planting negative thoughts and ideas that cause people to judge one another instead of loving and embracing each other. We all know siblings who don’t get along. And they go years without conversing or interacting because the family is divided.

The same thing happens in the Body of Christ, and I believe it grieves the Father’s heart.

Proverbs 6:16–19 lists six things God hates, but it adds a seventh thing the Bible calls an abomination, “he that soweth discord among brethren” (KJV). The word abomination comes from a Greek word that means “a disgusting thing,” so when we allow ourselves to create division and separation, it’s safe to say that it’s disgusting to God. We are the children of a loving Father who wants His children to love each other. We are not all the same, God made us that way, and we must learn to embrace each other irrespective of our quirks and differences. Let’s turn things around and show love toward our brothers and sisters, remembering that our display of love to one another is how the world will recognize that we belong to God and are Christ’s disciples.

“By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another” (John 13:35).

The Father Deposits Love in Our Hearts

If there is someone with whom you have become cold and unresponsive, allow Father God to deal with your heart. Pray for the person, and let the Holy Spirit help you. When you open your heart and embrace your brother or sister, you’ll be surprised by the measure of love the Father deposits in your heart for them. That love will flow through you and eventually shatter everything the enemy wanted standing between you.

Meditate on Proverbs 6:16–19; Hebrews 12:14

Today’s Prayer/Confession: Father, help me to embrace those who may not be like I am and to love as You love. If there is any cold and unresponsive behavior in me, I repent and ask You to forgive me. Thank You for helping me and/or forgiving me.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Melva L. Henderson is an author, speaker, and regular

columnist for Just Between Us. She is also the founder of The Milwaukee Give, a humanitarian outreach, and co-founder and president of World Bible Training Institute, an accredited Bible college. She is wife to pastor Ervin, mother of five, and a grandmother.

melvahenderson.org

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F Melva Henderson T Melva Henderson

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minutes in the

Afraid Yet Filled with Great Joy

WORD

by Dorie Etrheim

Have you ever felt heartbreak and questioned if the pain would go away?

Read what Paul wrote from prison in Philippians 4:4-5.

If so, you’re not alone. 2019 was a difficult season with my health and marriage. I felt alone, discouraged, and unloved. The more I focused on my circumstances, the more I withdrew from others, even Jesus. My fears and anxiety escalated and consumed my joy. My heart was shattered into a million pieces.

“Rejoice in the Lord always.” This is a command in the Bible. Does it sometimes seem impossible to rejoice? We can always rejoice when we remember God’s Truth. Remember Jesus will never leave you.

Remember His faithful love for you. Remember all the unchanging promises that are yours “in Christ,” and rejoice in Jesus.

The Bible is filled with women who walked through hard circumstances. Let’s think about Mary and Mary Magdalene. They talked, laughed, and walked endless miles with Jesus.

I wonder what Mary and Mary Magdalene felt as they walked back to the tomb. Can you imagine the weight of their heartbreak and suffering as they watched intensely as Jesus was nailed to the cross and then finally laid in the tomb?

Read Matthew 28:1-8. What was their response in vs. 8?

How can we have great joy amid our fears and distress?

What did the angel say to the women in Matt. 28:5-6 and Luke 24:5-8?

In verses 6-9, what does Paul tell us to do when anxiety and fear steal our joy?

Jesus longs for you to bring everything to Him. Talk with Him as though He were right there with you. He gave His life to be with you, and He is in you. “Those who look to Him are radiant with joy” (Ps. 34:5, CSB).

Digging Deeper “Radiant” means to sparkle. It describes a person glowing, being joyfully satisfied. Radiance is a response to God’s goodness.

Focus your heart and mind on Jesus. He is your faithful companion on your life journey. You, too, can walk, talk, and laugh with Jesus, day, and night.

When your joy is in Jesus, no one can take your joy from you (John 16:22).

For Your Journal What times of joy have you experienced in your struggles?

“Those who look to Him are radiant with joy.”

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The women remembered what Jesus said when He was with them. Their hearts rejoiced in the truths even while they were still afraid. In the same way, our joy is found in the presence and promises of Jesus.

Pain and fear are part of life. Yet, we can experience deep joy when we walk with Jesus.

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INTENTIONAL FAITH

The Three-Worded Command

by Jen Allee

M

y friend posted something recently about her son that I completely disagreed with.

We are good friends but differ in one parenting area. And this was the area she was applauding on social media. I continued to brood over it. Why does she think this is good for her son?

And then, without consciously realizing it, a shift occurred. On a day I would normally call her, I opted not to. Instead of texting, I refrained. My opinion of her had soured, creating a coolness in my heart toward her.

A few weeks into this one-sided distancing, I was reading in Matthew 7:1 where Jesus states three simple words: Do. Not. Judge. When it comes to Christlike behavior, the words of Jesus are very straightforward.

And in this case, I felt justified in my judgment of this friend. Unfortunately, though, I frequently opt out of this very clear command.

How he treated her was unkind.

What she did was unfair.

They deserve those consequences.

Even though my arguments might be accurate, it doesn’t give me the right to judge. But, it feels good to form an opinion that rises above another person in superiority. Because that’s what I’m doing, right? In judging, I am placing others a few rungs below me in importance and communicating that I would never make the same choices as them. I am better, smarter, or more spiritual… but am I?

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There’s more that lurks beneath the surface when I choose to pronounce a verdict.

40

Judgment is the civilized face of pride. It is a picture of human reason, backed with logical opinions, and stated with conviction. But it’s just a mask and, once removed, reveals the destructive mastermind of pride, the core of our sinful nature that unashamedly cares about no one other than ourselves. Judgment is pride’s marionette with strings carefully controlled by

self-righteousness that leads to our destruction.

Proverbs 13:10 warns: “Where there is strife, there is pride.” Therefore, when we label another person, we grant pride permission to tie more strings to our limbs and dictate when to be angry, when to withhold forgiveness, and when to distance ourselves from others.

Continuing in Matthew 7, Jesus illustrates the absurdity that we can view others with contempt while simultaneously being blinded to our own shortcomings (see Matt. 7:3-5). Shortcomings that are more grandiose than their faults! But at the heart of His message is a warning against pride. Essentially, don’t be a hypocrite.

You don’t want to be held to the standard that you are holding others to. Therefore, don’t judge. Silence pride by silencing your thoughts.

A month after that post, my son got tangled in a social snafu at school. This same friend called, and I shared my parental strategy. She graciously offered me a better perspective. I realized how far short my wisdom fell and was grateful for her counsel. I followed her lead and after smoothing out the situation she celebrated with me. I was humbled. I had used my hands to point a finger at her while she had used hers to embrace me.

Constantly gripping a gavel is exhausting. Mentally managing how others should live is burdensome.

There is freedom in this three-worded command, and it is found through simply being silent.

➜

Be Intentional

Choose to stop judging one person in your life. Squelch any thoughts attempting to form and don’t verbalize them to anyone.

Journal your experience. How has your relationship changed due to your silence?

Jen Allee is an author and speaker who believes a strong faith

is built one intentional step at a time. For encouragement in taking your next step, visit her at Living Intentionally at jenallee.com.

jenallee.com

Vibrant Grow Spiritually Through a

Prayer Life!

by Ashley Schmidt

Use this JOY formula to transform your prayers:

J-Jesus, O-others, and Y-yourself.

Jesus

Pray a specific name or attribute.

This side of heaven, it is impossible for our human minds to fully comprehend God’s infinite and awe-inspiring nature.

In the Bible, however, He has shared enough truths about Himself to draw us into faith and worship.

Examples: • He is the Alpha and Omega (Rev. 1:8).

• He is my Wonderful Counselor (Isa. 9:6).

• He is King of Kings (Rev. 19:16).

• He is Unchanging (Mal. 3:6).

• He is Good (Ps.119:65-72).

Others

Yourself

We are all equipped to be prayer warriors for others. We are adopted daughters and therefore possess the same power and access to God that our Savior enjoys. We can whisper, or cry out, and offer our requests to our heavenly Father, and He hears us. Our words do not have to be perfect, only spoken through love and trust in a God who hears and answers.

Pray for yourself to grow spiritually.

Self-prayer keeps us aware of our heart and enables us to draw on God as our only source of strength.

Examples: • Pray for someone you love who needs encouragement.

• Pray for friends who are struggling.

• Pray for someone who does not know Jesus.

• Pray for someone in need of physical or spiritual help.

Ashley Schmidt is the Director of Mission Advancement,

Social Media, and Marketing Design at Just Between Us. She is a homeschool mom to two young children, wife to Scott, and lives in a suburb of Milwaukee, Wis.

• Pray for kindness.

• Pray for humility.

• Pray for teachability.

• Pray for your mind to be renewed day by day.

• Pray for the ability to forgive.

➜ We encourage you to commit five

minutes daily until your next magazine arrives to pray using the JOY formula.

You’ll be amazed by how much closer you feel to God by the end—and how your prayer life will have just a little more joy!

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• Pray for your senators/politicians to make wise decisions.

Examples:

41

LIVING WELL

The Joy of an Enduring Identity

by Gail Goolsby

A

s a widow, a single woman once again, I just feel like I don’t fit anywhere. I feel married but I am not part of a couple any longer. I need to redefine myself in so many ways, which is hard at my age.”

“Sometimes I wonder what is left for me since my children do not need me anymore.”

“For over 20 years I knew where I belonged, what my work and identity involved. I had a team who shared my vision for building relationships with our Chinese students at the English Center I supervised. Now, I feel lost. I am back in the American house and city I grew up in, caring for my aging mother. No one here knows me as an adult, an independent woman, an overseas worker, or understands the life I have left.”

These clients of various ages reflected vulnerably with me on the challenging question held in the heart of most women. What defines my value and true identity?

Marriage? Motherhood? Ministry? Missions?

Temporary Identity

Recently I spent time researching Mary, the mother of Jesus. Her example is unique yet relevant to all women.

She experienced the labels mentioned above in her life on earth. Wife. Mother. Ministry partner. Missionary-evangelist. Which was her greatest identity?

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Her most popular title is Jesus’ mother and yet it did not last as He suffered death before her eyes. Was her significance over? No. Mary’s fullest calling was not serving as the birth vehicle for Jesus. If Mary had not embraced her son’s spiritual teachings, her supernatural motherhood would have meant little. She had to recognize she needed to follow her son, accept His gift of salvation for herself, for the world. The first disciple.

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Here’s how Jesus made this distinction crystal clear.

When an unnamed woman cried out in Luke 11:27, “Blessed is the mother who gave you birth and nursed you.” Jesus replied in Luke 11:28, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”

In my own life’s journey of six decades, I have identified as a daughter, sister, wife, mother, teacher, counselor, life coach, international school principal, author, speaker, pastor’s wife, ministry leader, grandmother, and more. I began to understand that these labels, these activities, streams of income, or social engagement did not define me, not completely, not forever.

Instead, these are backdrops, chosen settings to work out my identity in Christ. The scenery changes, the roles get redefined, but who I am, who I take into these situations is deep within, being transformed by the Spirit of God on the inside to be viewable on the outside.

Permanent Identity

No matter what our culture says, we are not fully defined by a husband or children or job or ministry, although these can certainly enrich (or deeply challenge) our earthly lives. Moreover, these are circumstances that God can use to shape our character, our dependence on Him and employ our gifts of service, leadership, encouragement, and teaching.

Instead, believers must internalize what God says about our worth and our identity. We are one of His children, created and loved intensely by the Almighty.

Not just made, but also bought with the precious blood of His own son Jesus who humbly came close to us and paid our debt to a Holy God. This is what Jesus taught His mother, His brothers, and all of us. If we choose to believe, we are blessed with an enduring, permanent identity. On earth there is pain, there is suffering, there is confusion, but there is daily life that counts, and a solid identity that culture and others cannot take from us, and eternal life ahead.

And that is cause for great JOY!

Gail Goolsby, MA, MEd, ACC, is an author, speaker, and career educator, including serving overseas as detailed in her book, Unveiled Truth: Lessons I Learned Leading the International School of Kabul. She is a mom and grandma, and lives in South Central Kansas, with her husband.

gailgoolsby.com

% gail.goolsby@gmail.com F Gail Wettstone Goolsby T Gail Goolsby

OUTSIDE YOUR FRONT DOOR

The Savior’s Pace

I

by Ashley N. Thomas

wish I had more time.

I wish life would slow down.

I wish I had a day where I could do nothing.

I wish I wasn’t so busy.

Have youyou found yourself saying oneone of these stateHave found yourself saying of these ments?

I have.

Life isLife full is and, on the statements?

I have. full depending and, depending onseason, the it seemsitnearly to cut stuff out.stuff So, we season, seemsimpossible nearly impossible to cut out.just So, keep going an unsustainable pace, until something we just keepatgoing at an unsustainable pace, until has to give.has to give. something I’ve recently found that I got what I wished for. I most often share about stepping outside your front door, but sometimes I think it is what happens inside your front door that equips you to best serve and love others.

I have a newborn. He is my first baby. For some of you, I don’t have to say much else. You remember the long nights, piles of laundry, and wrestling with your new identity as a mom. I had this beautiful picture of what I thought this time would look like. In one word: productive. You can laugh. I hope I can someday too. I imagined that in between baby snuggles and feeding—I would get to that list of books I hoped to read, that I would write more, be available for my friends and my husband. In my mind, maternity leave meant I would finally have more time to do all those things I don’t normally get to do. Instead, I have found myself to be so still and present that it doesn’t feel like I am doing anything. Life has slowed down so much, and my daily expectation is to care for and nurture this new human being. I am not busy with my normal list of to do’s and yet, my days make it difficult to eat, respond to texts, much less brush my teeth in the morning.

“…an opportunity to go at His pace so that we don’t miss the glimpses of hope He provides to help us make it through.”

As we think about pace, we often think of it in terms of fast or slow. This season has taught me that the Savior’s pace isn’t just about tempo, it’s about the daily grace to do, be, receive, give, and become. It’s savoring, wrestling, embracing, and encountering. He is the giver of good things. Sometimes what needs to change most is our perspective. While I have wrestled with less sleep, patience, and productivity, I have been able to soak in my son’s coos, little smiles, contact naps, and endless moments of needing me.

You have enough time.

You can slow down.

You can set fewer expectations.

You are free to say “no.”

You can be so present, that it’s uncomfortable.

Let Jesus set the pace for your life. You will find you suddenly have enough of what you need, and the gift that brings. The reality that you, too, are enough. Period.

Ashley N. Thomas is the Executive Director of Hope Street

ministry in Milwaukee, Wis. She enjoys teaching, writing, learning, and being present with broken people as each discovers the grace that allows us all to be known and loved still. She is a wife, mom to a baby boy (Jedidiah) and fur baby (Belle).

fromsmashtoash.com

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While it is helpful for me to verbally process my current reality, my point in sharing it with you is that we all find ourselves in seasons of life with elements we wrestle with. For you it may be an “empty nest,” retirement, being single, a diagnosis, death—while in these seasons of life we may wish we were someplace else, doing anything else—maybe we can look at it as an

opportunity to go at His pace so that we don’t miss the glimpses of hope He provides to help us make it through. Wishing, worrying, and doing don’t actually make us well. As I was doing my daily reading, I came across a verse that I have been holding onto: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But a longing fulfilled is a tree of life” (Prov. 13:12).

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EVERYDAY TRANSFORMATION

How to Share Jesus

by Laura Sandretti

L

ast fall my husband and I went on a biking trip with 15 strangers, who were probably not Christians. Until recently, I would have avoided a vacation with anyone besides my family.

Why? The awful underlying pressure to represent Jesus well. In the past, I felt obligated to avoid or confront those who lived, voted, and believed differently than I thought most Christians did. I thought being “in the world and not of it” meant showing obvious disapproval of anything immoral. Being around non-Christians was stressful because trying to act like Jesus isn’t just tiring. It’s impossible.

Although I believed I was saved by grace through faith and not because I rarely cursed or watched R-rated movies, my interactions with non-Christians indicated otherwise. Subconsciously, I was trying to act like I wasn’t a sinful, broken woman who needed a Savior, but an aloof, well-behaved person who didn’t. I had confused moralism with the good news of the gospel—that because I’ll never be consistent in talking, thinking, or acting like Jesus, He died for and unconditionally loves and accepts me.

How do we represent Jesus well and share Christ as an opportunity and not an obligation?

Pray and Repent

Something that helped me before my trip was praying for my fellow cyclists like I would my best friend. I prayed for their health, jobs, and struggles. I asked God to help me love them, but I started those prayers by “revering Christ as Lord.” I started with repentance. Repenting daily reminds me of two things I easily forget: I sin regularly and that’s why Jesus came. When I repent, I’m given the chance to focus not on my sin, but on Christ’s love and generosity to cover my sins. That reminder also helped me pray with greater compassion and humility.

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Smile and Be Prepared

44

Another thing that helped me share Christ was remembering the power of a smile. When I met my Japanese uncle a few years ago, although we didn’t

speak the same language, his pleasant disposition communicated thoughtfulness and love. First Peter 3:15 says, “But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect” (1 Pet. 3:15). We should always be prepared to articulate our hope in Christ; however, if we don’t remember to smile and care about people—things everyone can understand— they might never ask about our hope in the first place.

Welcome Conversations About Jesus

How else can we share Christ? Luke 10 says Jesus told His disciples to share the kingdom of God with those who welcomed them. Not everyone welcomes conversations about Jesus. I found great freedom in asking God to help me love every person on the trip, but also to pay careful attention to anyone open to talking with me about my faith.

How did 1 Peter 3:15 help me share Christ on our trip?

Remembering I’m fully loved, despite my sin, made it easy to pray for George, an 82-year-old atheist, and also later tell him I’d prayed for him while we biked down a particularly steep and dangerous mountain.

Knowing Christ is constantly advocating for me (1 John 2:1) made it obvious to pray for Diane from Washington and tell her how much I appreciated her sweet spirit and joyful attitude. Being accepted and made righteous only through Christ made listening to fellow cyclists Dan, Michelle, and John with sincere interest and a warm smile, almost effortless.

How do we represent Jesus? By revering Christ in our hearts as Lord and being prepared to explain gently and respectfully to those who ask, the depth of Jesus’ love and mercy. Not on the merit of ours or their good or not-so-good behavior, but because despite those things, Jesus died for all of us.

Laura Sandretti, MATS, is an author, faith coach, and active

conference and retreat speaker. She is a former high school teacher who uses humor and real-life examples to challenge women to think more deeply about what they believe about God, the Bible, and themselves because of the cross of Christ. Laura has four adult children, has been married for 30 years, and prays daily for grandchildren.

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F laurasandrettiblog T laurasandrettiblog

FAITH AT WORK

Being a Joy-Bringer

by Danielle Thomas

I

sn’t it strange to think that most of us show up to work each day no matter what’s happening outside of work? We could be having the best morning ever, sipping the best cup of coffee that we’ve ever made, or we could have just received terrible news and feel devastated, yet for the most part, we still go to work and get the job done. For those of us who work full-time, the line between work and “life” can be blurry sometimes. Work can bleed over into our personal lives and vice versa. Now multiply this by all the people you work with—kind of crazy to imagine the sheer scale of every circumstance, situation, challenge, and attitude that everyone brings to work each day.

A Christ-Centered Lens

As Christians, we have a distinct, profound perspective on the world that transcends the day’s circumstances in which we find ourselves, but many of our colleagues, bosses, and work friends don’t. So, having a heart of Christ-centered joy in all situations doesn’t necessarily apply to the large majority of people with whom we interact each day. What’s more, the world often misinterprets joy and happiness to be synonymous—but the sad truth is that it’s very possible to be temporarily happy but not experience true joy. Psalm 16:11 tells us that we as Christians experience steadfast, unshaken, abundant joy because God has “made known to us the path of life” and His presence in our lives is what fills us with joy, not the temporary good things that happen to us.

When we think about our coworker relationships and the situations our colleagues bring with them to work, we must not forget that Christ’s lasting joy isn’t meant to be some exclusive “club.” Even if our coworkers aren’t Christians, it’s our responsibility and mission to be the joy-bringer—to speak light into our colleagues’ lives, and to offer a different, hope-filled viewpoint. The joy we’ve found is meant to be shared with the people in our lives.

This is a tough calling on our hearts if we truly think about it. It’s already difficult to come into work smiling

“The joy we’ve found is meant to be shared with the people in our lives.”

surface-level, we should want to open this kind of dialogue, and we should pray for their eyes and hearts to be open to hearing about the joy that they too can find through Jesus. In a world where happiness is what everyone thinks they want, how do we emulate Christ’s humility and care for those around us in a way that shines the deep joy and eternal satisfaction that we have in Him?

Be a Joy-Bringer

Romans 12:12 says this, “be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” When we show hope, patience, and faithfulness outwards to the world, especially in our sometimes-complicated work environments, we can demonstrate the joy we’ve found in Jesus. We can share it with those who may think temporary happiness is the be-all, end-all in life—the joy that goes so much deeper than anything the world can offer. So, in all circumstances, as the Word reminds us, our calling as Christ-followers is to shine joy anchored by hope and patience and faithful prayers. No matter what kind of day you’re having, the best or the worst ever, remember that when you show up to work, you have the incredible opportunity to be the joy-bringer.

Danielle Thomas works in internal communications for a

luxury automotive manufacturer in the UK. She lives with her British husband, Caleb, and Cavapoo puppy. She enjoys hiking, exploring the countryside, and learning UK history.

% thethomases2020@gmail.com

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Real Conversations

when you’re going through a hard time, but it might be even more difficult to open a conversation where you can share why joy lives in your heart no matter the circumstance. If we’re building strong relationships with our coworkers and getting to know them beyond

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BETWEEN FRIENDS

Don’t Forget Your Blessings

by Shelly Esser

I

’ve noticed the older I get, the more forgetful I am, so I am constantly making lists. I make sure they are placed in prominent places like my purse, my calendar, or other places where I am sure to see them.

Even with all that effort, I still forget sometimes.

Similarly, have you ever noticed how easy it is to forget God’s blessings in your lives? Hard stuff happens, life gets busy, and all we can see are the challenges in front of us. Why is it that we often don’t forget the hard things in our lives, no matter how long ago they happened, but we forget all the good (the benefits) that God has and is pouring into our lives daily?

The psalmist reminds us in Psalm 103:2, “Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits.” I love how another version puts it, “O my soul, bless God. From head to toe, I’ll bless his holy name! O my soul, bless God, don’t forget a single blessing” (MSG)! This verse has always been one of my favorites. Unfortunately, I forget to practice it too many times.

Psalm 103:2 reminds us to praise the Lord, to bless Him, for every single thing He has done for us. Why? Because something happens to our hearts that affects our outlook on our circumstances when we praise God. If you read on into the next few verses, it gives us a list of some of the things He does for us: “He forgives our sins and heals all your diseases, redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s (Ps. 103: 3-5).

Wow, we could linger in those blessings for a lifetime!

We’re being reminded of the faithfulness and goodness of God in our lives.

So, how do we keep from forgetting God’s blessings?

ȷustbetweenus summer 2023

1. Journal. Sometimes the only way we can remem-

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ber is to write it down. Tracking your spiritual growth and recording the things God is doing in your life like answered prayer, will help you do a better job at re-

membering from your “head to your toe” so you don’t forget a single blessing.

2. Put together a blessing jar. A few years back,

we did this for our team at work. Any time, we saw God do something amazing or answer a prayer, we put it on a Post-it note and placed it in the jar. At the end of the year, we pulled them out and read them together.

It was such an encouraging time as we celebrated together God’s faithfulness to us and our ministry. You could do this as a family as well.

3. Talk about them. Tell someone the things God is doing in your life, the way He’s working, and the things you have discovered about Who He is. Share in your small group, with your family, friends, etc., and praise God together.

4. Thank God Himself. Psalm 103 says to “bless” or

“praise” the Lord. It’s so easy sometimes to miss that.

Build a thanksgiving time into your daily prayer time where you thank Him for His blessings and faithfulness in your life and the answered prayers you see. There is always something to be thankful for, even in really difficult seasons.

It’s so important that we don’t forget. Why? Because remembering strengthens our faith, helps us persevere in tough times, and turns our heart heavenward instead of to the “what isn’t” in our lives.

Why don’t you take some intentional moments to remember what God has done in your life recently.

Whatever you are facing, don’t forget His benefits are all around you. Start praising Him—I guarantee you will see your perspective change!

Shelly Esser has been the editor of Just Between Us for over

30 years. Additionally, she has been involved with leading and nurturing women in Christ since college. She and her husband have four adult daughters, two sons-in-law, a grandson, and live in Menomonee Falls, Wis.

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