Just Between Us | Spring 2024 by Just Between Us

Trade Worry for Peace by Lori Ann Wood

YOU CAN BE A BETTER LISTENER

y all n io ent t n I Living

by Katy Boykin

NOTE STARTERS FOR EVERYDAY ENCOURAGEMENT

CLINGING TO GOD’S GOODNESS IN THE DARKNESS OF DEPRESSION

YOU CAN BE BRAVE DESPITE YOUR FEAR

spring 2024 | F I N D M O R E A T J U S T B E T W E E N U S . O R G

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welcome from the editor SHELLY ESSER

Welcome to 2024! We couldn’t be happier that you are starting out your new year with us! We hope this will become the place you return to again and again for all your spiritual encouragement, hope, and friendship. That place where you know you’re understood, loved, and prayed for. The place where women like you come to share their joys, sorrows, and everything in between. Nothing is more important to us than being your sisters in Christ walking alongside you to live a vibrant, growing faith throughout the next year. We know that doesn’t just happen overnight. Living a growing faith requires that we be intentional, our new word for the year. To be “intentional” simply means to do something on purpose. It means always being conscious and purposeful in every area of our life—our faith, our relationships, our families, our workplace, our serving—absolutely everything. Why? Because if we don’t live this way, so much of life just passes us by without the kind of changes we desire, without the kind of impact we want to have. All throughout Scripture, you see the theme of intentional living, because God has always been an intentional God. Our verse for the year, Ephesians 5:15-16 says, Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but wise, making the most of every opportunity. There is an intentionality in being careful and making the most of every opportunity. It’s something we do on purpose.

Another exciting feature is focused prayer to enhance your prayer life. How wonderful it is to borrow someone else’s words sometimes making them your own, as you thank God for your friendships on page 22. And, finally, we hope you’ll love our “Grow Your Discipleship” series. In each issue, we’ll provide content you can use personally or with others to grow in your discipleship. This one kicks off with “How to Study the Bible” on page 27. These new features also include some new design throughout. There’s so much to dig into this issue. We’re praying that as you do, you’ll be inspired to grow closer to your Savior, and to “make the most of every opportunity” this year as you live more intentionally in every area of your life. So, let’s step into 2024 with hearts attuned to the voice of our heavenly Father, ready to embrace the opportunities He has prepared for us. And, let’s be intentional in lifting each other up in prayer, encouraging one another in love, and in sharing the wisdom gleaned from our own faith journeys. Together, let’s make the most of every opportunity to be beacons of hope, shining the light of God’s love into every corner of our dark world. Wishing you a Blessed and Intentional New Year!

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As we’ve looked ahead to 2024, we’ve made some changes to freshen up and enhance your experience with the magazine. For starters, we hope you’ll love our calendar, on page 6, filled with encouragement prompts for using the magazine in between issues. We want JBU to be a safe place you can come back to for refresh-

ment in your devotions, a promise from God’s Word to lift your spirit on a down day, an inspirational verse or story you can pass onto a friend, and reflection and application opportunities to see real change in your life—prompts so the magazine can speak to you all year long.

Contents

V O L U M E

3 4

N O.

S P R I N G

2 0 2 4

on the cover

Living a life of purpose is more in reach than you think. by Katy Boykin

Discover four steps to get you on the path to a calmer life. by Lori Ann Wood

Learning the art of hearing the words and heart of others. by Debra Celovsky

Intentional Living

24 ȷustbetweenus spring 2024

Note Starters for Everyday Encouragement

Practical ideas to let people know they are thought of, cared about, and prayed for. by Pamela Piquette & Cindee Snider Re

Trading Worry for Peace

When We Are Willing to Listen

Clinging to God’s goodness in the darkness of depression. by Erika Rachelle Anderson

You’re braver and stronger than you think. by Meredith King

Canopy Over My Soul

Free Falling Through Fear

About Our Ministry: Just Between Us is a vibrant and expanding not-for-profit ministry that continues to transform the lives of women around the world. Our heart-focused and biblically-based content in the print magazine, on the website, in the weekly digital mini magazine, on social media, and other products—all help women find hope and encouragement while growing their faith and deepening their love for Jesus.

Find Us in All Kinds of Ways:

T F I justbetweenus.org

features

in every issue

3 Welcome from the Editor 6 Calendar 7 Table Talk with Abby 8 Happy Home

Hearing the Holy Spirit’s whisper in the kitchen tasks of everyday life. by Sandy Mayle

Finding God’s Presence in Clouds of Uncertainty

The storm is the place where His power is greatest and nearest. by Rosann Coulon

columns

11 Living Your Faith row Your 27 GDiscipleship 38 Intentional Faith 40 Faith at Work new

1 5 Minutes in the Word

42 44 Living Well

Subscriptions Phil Perso Mary Richards Jan Schuldt Lin Sebena

new

Advisory Board Anita Carman Pam Farrel Judy Briscoe Golz Nancy Grisham Pam MacRae Elizabeth Murphy Jackie Oesch Stephanie Seefeldt

Prayer Sharon Stonecipher Photography Wayde Peronto Babboni Photography babbonis.com

Gift Your Ministries: Group subscriptions are now available at reduced rates. Encourage and inspire the women who make ministry happen at your church or other places of outreach or service to others. Energize their relationships, refresh their faith, and become equipped as a team for facing ministry challenges through Just Between Us. For more information, call 800-260-3342 today! Just Between Us (ISSN 1069-3459) is published quarterly by Just Between Us, 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045-3701. Make all checks and money orders payable to: Just Between Us, Subscription Orders 777 S. Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045 To order by phone, or for more information: call 800-260-3342. From Canada call (262) 786-6478. Email: jbu@justbetweenus.org Website: www.justbetweenus.org Periodical Postage Paid at Brookfield, WI and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: Just Between Us, 777 S. Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045. ust Between Us is a member publication J of the Evangelical Press Association. Copyright ©2024 by Just Between Us. All rights reserved. Printed in USA.

PRESS A S

award-winning • E

magazine

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We occasionally share subscriber mailing addresses with select organizations. If you would like your name removed from direct mail promotional lists, please call 800-260-3342 or email jbu@justbetweenus.org.

45 Everyday Transformation 46 Between Friends

ADVERTISING Ellie Dunn For more information call (856) 582-0690 ext. 2# or email ellie@carldunn.com.

Call toll-free 800-260-3342 or visit our website justbetweenus.org From Canada call 262-786-6478

Director of Mission Advancement/ Social Media Ashley Schmidt

If the post office informs you that your print magazine is undeliverable, JBU has no further obligation unless we receive a corrected address.

Outside Your Front Door

for subscriptions

Marketing Julie Santiago

Editorial Assistants Ann Cook Constance B. Fink Gayle Gengler Cherry Hoffner Rachel Oldenburg Danae Templeton Creative Director Julie Krinke

10 Transparent Moments 22 Prayer Prompts

Renewal Assistants Wayne + Sally Schlittenhart

Director Digital Media Mary Ann Prasser

•

Martha, Martha

Renewals Manager & Software Support Rebecca Loesche

Assistant Editor Suzan Braun

Encouraging WORDS

General Manager Mary Perso

A true friend dives in to do whatever is needed. by Carole G. Rodgers

Advertising & Accounts Manager Sharon Vaught

Muddied Waters

Editor Shelly Esser

new

Circulation Manager Suzan Braun

Words of wisdom for living a faith-filled and meaningful life. compiled by Ann M. Cook

Founder/Executive Editor Jill Briscoe

EVA

A Purposeful New Year

CREDITS

PRESS AS

CALENDAR

encouragement PROMPTS

. es su is n ee w et b in e in z a g a ... for using the m

Every issue of Just Between Us is packed full of inspiration, encouragement, and Scripture, so we want to help you keep it going long after you’ve read the last article. Use this calendar filled with application prompts pulled from the current issue over the next two months to keep your soul filled up and to deepen your experience until your summer issue arrives!

march ick a quote, verse, or prayer to put on your 4 Pmirror to wake up to every morning (pg. 11).

ead through the characteristics of being a 1 Rgood listener and pick one to focus on (pg. 21).

Jeremiah 29:12. Pray to be a better listener 6 Rtoead the people in your life (pg. 20).

through the four-step path to peace on 3 Pray page 17.

ring one thing you’re worrying about today to 8 BGod. Read Phil. 4:6-9 (pg. 16).

how you plan to live intentionally in 2024. 5 DSetecide some goals and pray about them (pg. 12).

end an encouraging note, text, or letter to 12 Ssomeone who needs it today. Use the article on

your girlfriends, grab some coffee, and 9 Gather do the Bible study on page 41.

page 25 for ideas and words to get you started.

ick one thing from the list on page 42 that P you can do to reach someone outside your front door.

hank God today for a friend who has walked 18 Twith you through “muddied waters” (pg. 31), and pray the friendship prayer on page 22.

ow can you let the Holy Spirit come into the 20 H“kitchen” of your daily tasks today (pg. 32)? e Intentional: What expectation are you 22 Bholding onto? Ask God to loosen your grip and

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april

trust Him with your future (pg. 38).

to grow deeper in God’s Word. 26 CGoommit over the “7 Steps to Studying the Bible” and pick an epistle to study over the next several months (pg. 27).

“Prayer in the Storm” prayer on page 11 P35rayfortheyourself or someone else. ook up the verses in the “Trading Worry for 15 LPeace” article on page 16 and put the one you need on an index card to meditate on.

steps to safeguard your kids and 17 Take grandkids from “digital candy” (pg. 8). editate on Psalm 23. What fear do you need 19 MGod to carry for you today (pg. 36)? hink about how you can “lose your sense of 23 Tsacrifice.” Pray about your mission field (pg. 45).

lan to invite someone into your home this 25 Pmonth and practice “intentional hospitality” (pg. 7).

29 Ask God to show you your purpose (pg. 12).

TABLE TALK WITH ABBY

Intentional Hospitality

ntentionality: the word carries a profound depth of meaning, especially in the context of our homes. Intentionality is not just a simple act, but a way of living out our faith, guided by love, grace, and purpose. Before we dive deeper into the concept of intentionality, let’s start by defining it. Intentionality is the deliberate and purposeful action of setting and pursuing meaningful goals. It actively seeks to reflect Christ’s love in our daily lives, especially within the sanctuary of our homes. Creating an environment of love, warmth, and spiritual growth is a conscious choice, not one that comes easy in our tech-saturated, always-onthe-go world.

Intentionally Love

Christ gave us the perfect example of intentionality in His time on earth. He often detoured the group deliberately to pursue meaningful connections with others. In 1 Peter 4:8 (NLT), Paul offers us further guidance when we read, “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” This verse reminds us that love is at the core of our faith and should be the driving force behind our intentions within our homes. Intentionality within our homes is about more than just what happens within the four walls and the people who might live there. Intentionality within our homes is figurative. It encompasses every relationship, conversation, meal, and invitation to experience Christ’s love. In short, I believe that intentionality drives our hospitality to others and is precisely what Hebrews goes on to emphatically instruct in chapter 13:2: “Do not neglect hospitality….”

Intentionally Invite

In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to become distracted and lose sight of the intentional love we are called to practice in our homes. But as Christians, refocusing our hearts and minds on this important aspect of our faith is crucial. In 2024, let’s purposefully set aside time each day for prayer and reflection, asking God to guide us in being intentional within our homes. Often, in these moments of prayer, I will ask God to place someone in my view to invite in intentionally, whether it is a friend, neighbor, colleague, or someone new I meet. I pray that the Spirit would ordain moments for me to practice hospitality and extend His love into my home and across the table.

Intentionally Gather

The dining room table, often at the heart of our homes, is an excellent reminder of this intentionality. It’s where we gather for meals, conversations, and shared experiences. So, let it be a living table—a place where love is served, grace is shared, and faith is strengthened. It’s a place where the aroma of Christ’s love lingers.

Intentionally Fulfill God’s Call

Intentionality in the Christian home is about actively living out our faith, anchored in love, grace, and purpose. It involves fostering relationships, nurturing spiritual growth, practicing hospitality, embracing grace, and serving others. As we follow the guidance of Scripture, we can create homes where the love of Christ shines brightly, drawing others closer to Him. May we all be inspired this year to be intentional in our homes, knowing that in doing so, we fulfill the call of our Savior to love one another as He has loved us. And, in that, we witness His grace and truth to a world in desperate need of both.

Abby Turner Kuykendall is the author of The Living Table, is a newlywed, and works full-time as a food blogger, speaker, and writer. Abby’s passion is to encourage women to stop wasting time waiting for the perfect family, house, or table and to start opening their homes and building community. Learn more about Abby and enjoy her recipes at atabletopaffair.com. G facebook.com/atabletopaffair w pinterest.com/atabletopaffair e instagram.com/atabletopaffair

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If intentionality is the purposeful action of living out our faith with a specific goal in mind… then I believe hospitality is the way we live out our faith by inviting people in and loving them like Christ.

Abby Turner Kuykendall

HAPPY HOME

Too Much Digital Candy?

hen given the choice between a plate of cookies and a bowl of broccoli, what would your child choose? Let me guess… cookies! Kids gravitate towards tasty treats ranging from milk chocolate to muffins. You never have to coax children to “finish their brownie” or “eat those chips.” Desserts are certainly an indulgence to look forward to, but a growing body built on gummy bears will surely fall short in the future. We can clearly understand in the physical body that vegetables are more useful than candy (and that too much candy is harmful). The same is true with what your child is eating digitally. You can categorize screen time as a digital vegetable or digital candy. Let me explain what I mean. A digital vegetable is something that causes your child to grow stronger in mind, body, or spirit. Here are examples of digital vegetables: • Skyping Grandma • Doing an exercise workout • Learning about a different country

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Ask your child or grandchild the next time they are on devices what they are doing. There’s a good chance they are not eating digital vegetables. They are probably consuming what is much easier and what is being fed to them by tech giants every moment of the day. They are eating a steady diet of digital candy. Does this digital candy sound familiar:

• Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok • YouTube • Video games • TV shows and movies • Music videos

Too Much Digital Candy

A little bit of digital candy can be a positive way to relax, but hours every day is harmful to a growing child–physically, socially, emotionally, and spiritual-

Arlene Pellicane ly. Physical symptoms of too much screen time are things like poor sleep, low energy levels, reduced attention span, mood changes, mental fog, and weight gain. Don’t those sound like the same symptoms of eating too much junk food and not getting the proper nutrition? When kids eat too much digital candy, they have zero appetite for digital vegetables. If you are used to 30-second bursts of highly exciting and stimulating videos on TikTok holding your attention, you are going to have a really hard time listening to your teacher in class or reading your Bible. Your attention muscle is weak and under-used.

Setting Limits

The digital world is here to stay. We can use the positive aspects of technology but, to do that, we must be discerning and intentional. In the same way we wouldn’t let our children drink soda and eat chips for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, we must set limits to how much digital candy can be consumed each day. Kids are forming habits that they will carry into adulthood. Talk to your kids and grandkids about the difference between digital candy and digital vegetables. You might say something like, “Digital candy makes you feel good now, but bad later. Digital vegetables aren’t as good now, but they are much better later.” For older kids, you could say that digital candy is good in the short-term, but bad in the long-term. On the other hand, digital vegetables are hard shortterm, but they are awesome long-term. You never regret eating digital vegetables, but digital candy can bring anxiety and depression as we are seeing in our current mental health crisis among teenagers and young adults. Galatians 6:7 says, “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” Don’t let digital candy keep your child from growing strong in Jesus. You have great influence over what is being fed to the soul of your child, so go find some digital vegetables today for your family.

Arlene Pellicane is a speaker, host of the Happy Home podcast, and author of several books including: Screen Kids, Parents Rising, and 31 Days to a Happy Husband. Arlene has been featured on the Today Show, Fox & Friends, Wall Street Journal, FamilyLife Today, and Focus on the Family. She lives in San Diego, Calif., with her husband James and their three children. arlenepellicane.com G facebook.com/ArlenePellicaneAuthor Ö twitter.com/ArlenePellicane e ArlenePellicane

encouraging WORDS

“Living intentionally means purposefully pursuing the life God has called us to live.” “We never grow closer to God when we just live life. It takes deliberate pursuit and attentiveness.” FRANCIS CHAN

“Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.” GALATIANS 5:25

Intentional

[adj]

performed with awareness; done deliberately, consciously, or on purpose.

“Be very careful how you live— not as unwise, but as wise, “If you’re going to grow, making the most you have to be intentional.” of every opportunity.” CURT KAMPMEIER EPHESIANS 5:15-16

“Wherever you are, be all there.”

JIM ELLIOTT

RICHIE NORTON

“The busier you are, the more intentional you must be.” MICHAEL HYATT

“Intentional days create a life on purpose.” ADRIENNE ENNS

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“Intentional living is the art of making our own choices before others’ choices make us.”

TRANSPARENT MOMENTS

Losing Your Mentor

id the apostle Paul always view himself as the great apostle? Was he always sure of himself? I recall the time when he showed up on the scene as the unknown disciple who was met with resistance from the Christian community. Acts 9:26-27 tells us, “When he came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple. But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus.”

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shared his early ministry experience and successes. This was the person he counted on when he was threatened and wounded. This was also the person who, in his role as encourager, chose to encourage Mark and to leave Paul behind.

The Mission Goes On

Perhaps you are in a place where you too lost a co-laborer you were sure of. Did the choice of the one who exited from your life cause you to question your calling? In the example of Paul’s life, I marvel at how he never skipped a beat. Regardless of what he felt, his actions indicated that he stayed the course. He immediately selected Silas and kept going.

Oh, to have a Barnabas in our lives at the right time! Barnabas was the one who opened the door for Paul to be accepted by the apostles.

Acts 15:40 tells us, “Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the believers to the grace of the Lord. He went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.”

The name Barnabas means “son of encouragement.” Paul entered a period of ministry where Barnabas accompanied him as encourager, a role fitting for his name. When Paul was stoned by the crowd and left to die, it was Barnabas who was with him to walk beside him as they continued the mission together. Imagine still bleeding and having someone like Barnabas walking right beside you! What kind of bond did Paul develop with a mature believer, a trusted friend, and co-laborer?

The fact that the churches were strengthened is evidence that God continued to work mightily through Paul. Could it be that the exit of a co-laborer does not change our original mission? Paul was called to be an instrument for God to the Gentiles and Barnabas’ absence did not change God’s call on Paul’s life.

Losing Your Barnabas

If you are in a place where someone you trusted chose to leave, instead of finding reasons to exit, try reminding yourself of your original mission. We don’t get to pass the baton as our way to run from the painful emotion of abandonment.

Have you ever wondered how losing Barnabas affected Paul? This was not just any co-laborer. This was the person who opened doors for Paul and

When life goes off in directions beyond our control, what we have as our stabilizing anchor is God’s call that is without apology. When the ground is shifting, remember that God does not give circumstances the power to change His original plans. Paul’s life comforts me as I learn from his example. People entering and exiting from our lives is part of our faith journey!

Yet fast forward the pages of the Bible, and we see Paul and Barnabas in a dispute over whether Mark should be allowed on the team. Barnabas felt so strongly about taking Mark that he abandoned Paul to exit the mission with Mark.

Anita Carman

Anita Carman arrived in America at 17, after her mother’s tragic suicide. Today, she is a walking billboard of how God transformed her pain into passion to build Inspire Women, a nonprofit that unites thousands of women of all races and invests in their potential to change the world. She has an MBA from SUNY and an MABS from Dallas Theological Seminary. Anita has authored several books and lives in Houston, Tex., with her husband. She has two grown sons. Visit her at inspirewomen.org. (Anita Carman’s signature curriculum, being taught through Inspire Women’s Leadership Academy, offers an online option to teach women how to make decisions fitting for one who is the King’s daughter. To enroll, please email info@inspirewomen.org.)

Message on the Mirror

Living

YOUR FAITH

Lavon Court

n my mother’s bedroom mirror was the quote from the Serenity Prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.” Growing up I knew this quote was important to my mother. I knew that each morning she looked at it and determined to live her life with courage and wisdom, focusing on what was realistic by relying on God for daily guidance. Originally written circa 1930, this simple prayer has been an encouragement to many over the years. It’s been used by individuals, organizations, and written on plaques and countless greeting cards. A while ago, I was reading a book by Jan Karron from her Mitford series. The opening sentence was, “Father, make me a blessing to someone today, through Christ our Lord. Amen,” which was the prayer said each morning by Father Tim Kavanough—the main character in the book, before he left the house. I thought this could be my note-to-self on my mirror, just like Mom. So, I wrote down the quote, stuck it on my mirror, and when I woke up each morning, it became my prayer for the day.

Seeing this prayer on my mirror each morning has been a blessing for me. I especially loved the part “through Christ our Lord,” because I knew I didn’t have to do it alone. Jesus gave me the strength to be His light and a blessing to others. I could reset myself for empathy over judgment, compassion over anger, listening over talking, and patience over impatience. Was I successful each day? Not always. Was I successful some days? Yes.

“Father, make me a blessing to someone today, through Christ our Lord. Amen.” Now retired, I no longer need to rush off to school; however, I still have this quote on my bedroom mirror. It continues to guide me each day, as I intentionally look for ways to be a “blessing to others.” Sometimes it’s by complimenting a salesclerk who looks stressed, or stopping to chat with someone who looks lonely, or helping with the mission work at our church, or making sure my family knows how much I appreciate them. I found that if my goal for the day is to be a “blessing to someone, through Christ our Lord,” my day ends well, and I am at peace. Do you have a message on your mirror? What quote, verse, or prayer would you be willing to wake up to every morning? You’d be surprised how much a message on the mirror can be an encouragement— and ultimately a blessing to others!

Lavon Court is a retired high school teacher, and has been active in LaCrescent UMC since 2014. She resides in Brownsville, Minn., with her husband Jeff. When she is not playing with her grandkids, she is hiking, camping, or kayaking.

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I found this quote when I was teaching English at Holmen High School in Wisconsin. I discovered that no matter what the day before had been like in the classroom, the message—make me a blessing to someone today—gave me peace in the morning and helped to reset my “start button.” The quote reminded me to breathe and head to school where I would be interacting all day with 80 to 90, 14 to 18-year-olds! Teaching high school English has been my joy and passion throughout my career. I’ve loved being around the students and their enthusiasm for life while watching them grow and mature. Like most teachers, I just love it when I see the “light bulbs go

on” while I’m teaching! However, there can be days of conflict, distracted students, and personal problems spilling into the classroom. Teaching isn’t for the faint of heart! It can be tiring and exhausting as well.

I N T EN T I O N A L

LIVING D O IT TH E WAY G O D D ES I G N ED. by Katy Boykin

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D 12

id you ever feel like life just isn’t working—like life is happening to you, not for you? I know all too well that when complacency sneaks in, it can leave you feeling disempowered, overwhelmed, and stuck in so many areas of your life. So, how do you find balance when life feels out of whack? The answer: practice intentional living the way God designed.

Colossians 1:16 says, “For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.”

While there are many experts who’ll teach you how to live intentionally, most do so from a worldview that leaves spirituality out. I would argue, however, that our being does not make sense apart from the context of God.

What Is Intentional Living?

So, with that in mind, let’s look at what Scripture says about how to live intentionally.

Intentional living means to live on purpose or to live deliberately with an aim or a plan. It’s about taking a stand for what you believe and pursuing a life that honors those beliefs. It’s taking leadership of your life

rather than coasting on autopilot. It requires you to let go of the belief that you’re a victim and life is the sum of your circumstances. My favorite definition is “intentional living is co-authoring your life with the Creator of the universe (God) to make your highest contribution to yourself and the world.”

Finding Your Purpose

In all of my experience with personal development books, podcasts, courses, and seminars, everything seemed to point to one underlying question: What is your life for? When talking about living intentionally, most of the experts didn’t address that question head-on. Instead, they share strategies like… • How to change your attitude and make better decisions. • How to find happiness and live with fewer regrets. • How to “find your why.” While there’s nothing inherently wrong with exploring those ideas, to me, it makes more sense to first identify God’s purpose for your life and allow that to shape your approach to life. (After all, the very definition of intentional living is living with purpose.) But I also understand that finding your distinct purpose can feel a lot like hunting for unicorns. It seems that at every new phase in life, this question is staring you in the face as if you still don’t have it figured out. I believe that your life’s purpose will become clear as you begin living intentionally—God’s way.

How to Live Intentionally

now God and how He works. Since you’re K designing your life together with God, you need to know His character, His promises, and His plans. God desires an intimate relationship with us and that happens through His Word. It is through a daily practice of reading God’s Word, prayer, worship, and being involved in a community of believers that we begin to know the Creator of the universe on a personal, experiential level.

Set your intention (goal setting). The next step is to set some goals. That brings us back to the underlying question: What is your life for?

What do you want to achieve? How are you going to contribute to the world? Life is short, so how are you going to make the most of it?

• In Proverbs 6:6-11, we’re warned against being lazy and failing to plan. • In Proverbs 21:5, it stresses the importance of planning wisely. • In 2 Chronicles 15:7, it encourages us to be strong and not to give up, for our work will be rewarded. But look at what James 4:13-16 says: Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them. Did you notice the warning against making plans apart from God? This isn’t the only place you’ll find this theme in Scripture. Proverbs 16:3, Proverbs 16:9, and Proverbs 19:21 all share a common message—we can make plans, but ultimately, it’s the Lord who establishes our steps. So when it comes to setting goals, remember, it isn’t just about you. Dr. David G. Benner says in his book, The Gift of Being Yourself: “To live apart from a sense of calling by God is to live a life oriented simply to our own choices about who we want to be and what we want to do. Calling brings freedom and fulfillment because it orients us toward something bigger than self.”

Align your daily actions. Once you’ve created your goals, reverse engineer the actions you’ll need to take monthly, weekly, and daily to fulfill that commitment. For example, if you’re committed to being strong and healthy, you could have some broad goals like losing ten pounds, buying a gym membership, or eating healthier. From there, you’ll want to break your broad goals into weekly goals. For example, lose one pound per week and lift weights four times per week.

And finally, go one step further to breaking those weekly goals into daily tasks. For example, if you consistently eat four cups of vegetables per day, and close all your rings on your Apple watch, it’s almost guaranteed that you’ll fulfill your commitment to being strong and healthy. It’s the mundane, day-to-day tasks that will add up to your desired result over time.

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The Bible takes a very balanced approach to goal setting:

Living intentionally enables you to move forward when you’re not in the mood to follow through on your long-term vision or commitments. Just know that living intentionally is working towards a future God desires for you; it’s not about being perfect every single day. It’s making commitments, setting goals, and watching yourself rise and fall and rise again as you pursue your intentional life. When you live every day with the mindset, “I’m on my way,” you’ll be more willing to embrace every part of your journey, the highs, and the lows.

Think on purpose. Dr. Roger Birkman said, “The reality of life is that your perceptions—right or wrong—influence everything else you do. When you get a proper perspective on your perceptions, you may be surprised how many other things fall into place.”

Your thoughts are powerful. How you perceive the world is given by what you’re currently thinking. Seemingly innocent thoughts like “it is what it is” or “this is all there is” are limiting you and keeping you from stepping into God’s purpose for your life. What the Bible says about your thinking. Three verses stand out: 1. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what the will of God is, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

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2. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” The word heart in this verse refers widely to feelings, will, and even intellect.

3. Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” God has a lot to say about how we should think about and relate to the world. We need to turn to His Word so that we recognize our thoughts for what they are and how to act or not act upon them.

eflect. Reevaluate. Choose. As you walk with the R Lord, set goals, and practice your daily success habits. You’ll want to stop along the way to reflect, reevaluate, and choose. Intentional living is a lot like taking a cross-country road trip. Along your journey, you’ll need to pull over and refuel. You’ll need to stop, put gas in your car, grab a bite to eat, and stretch your legs—not once, but multiple times. On your way to your goals, you need to do the same.

Ask yourself… • Is this what God wants for my life? • How’s my progress in regard to the goals I set? • What have I been able to accomplish so far? • What have been some of the most powerful learning moments so far? • If I were setting goals today, would I still choose this goal again? After a little self-reflection and prayer, decide on purpose to continue pursuing your goals or make revisions to your plan, if needed. Remember, living an intentional life isn’t about perfection. It’s about powerfully choosing all of your life and stepping into the purpose that God has called you to.

A Final Note

Once you start living intentionally, you’ll notice a few things… • You’ll become a woman who is hungry for God’s Word. • You’ll create possibilities and goals for your life that fill your cup and glorify God in the process. • You’ll live each day on purpose—no more coasting or getting by. • You’ll become emotionally intelligent and self-aware. • You’ll be able to confidently choose all of your life— even the parts that seem messy and imperfect. Are you going to take a stand for what you believe and pursue a life that honors those beliefs? That’s living intentionally! Reprinted from hellosensible.com (October 2022). Used with permission.

Katy Boykin is a WordPress website

designer, marketing strategist, and the creative director of DIY Dream Site, on a mission to help content creators and online business owners build thriving businesses online. She and her husband have three kids and live in Waddell, Ariz. Contact her at katyboykin.com.

Thank You, Lord Jesus, that Your death on the cross made us fit for heaven, and Your resurrection life makes us fit for earth.

Because You live we can by Your grace become partakers of Your divine nature. Your life in us gives us God in the garden of our lives, meeting us even among the weeds. Lord, some of us, like Mary, have wept till we can weep no more; and some like Peter and John find it hard to believe there is hope at all.

Resurrection

Greet us today with Your great glad cry of triumph!

Life Help us to trust Your power to raise us above ourselves and our circumstances— and our sin.

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And…send us on our way celebrating Easter in our hearts, our lives, and our families… We offer You now ourselves first for Your service, then our offerings as a token of our praise and of our love…

TRADING WORRY FOR PEACE Four steps to living a calmer life. by Lori Ann Wood

y parents were always entrepreneurs. Growing up, I was inspired by their example to set their own schedules, work for themselves, and make big decisions.

But something else I noticed was the uncertainty they faced. The weather in their farming endeavor or

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the interest rates in their savings and loan venture,

or even the price of postage in their tax business, all circumstances outside their control. Throw in several free-willed children, and my parents seemed helpless against such formidable forces. And this highly sensitive child could feel it.

What is Worry and Why We Do It

Worry is defined as, “unease or uncertainty over actual or perceived problems.” Now as an adult, I can relate to the concern I sensed in my purposeful, believing parents. As all Enneagram 5s (a personality assessment tool) can attest, there’s a fine line between worry and being intentional. Planners know that we function best when we foresee trouble spots ahead. And empathetic people know that shared concern is a natural human response. It’s not uncommon for any believer to worry. In fact, every prayer of petition is based on worry at some level. So, God expects that we will encounter this uncertainty and uneasiness in a fallen world.

But the key is this: Worry about this life must never take our focus off the next. Jesus mentioned worry in Matt. 6:25: Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Scripture writers used the Greek word merimnao, translated here as worry, which means “distracted, double-minded,” or “to be in pieces.” When we let worry direct us, our singular eternal focus is being fractured with temporal concerns. Worse than just dividing our minds, a chain of negative thoughts can grow into anxiety. It happens when we no longer trust God in the longterm. Anxiety is a lack of confidence in God’s ultimate plan and distrust in His ongoing control over our lives. Tim Keller explained that when we worry excessively, we are saying, “I know the way my life is supposed to go, and God’s not getting it right.”

God’s Plan to Control Worry

Though worry is not productive, it is a part of the human experience. Too often, believers feel guilty about worry, seeing it as a sin. But perhaps Scripture’s statements about worry are less about our moral character, and more about God being a good Father. Just as in Jesus’s words in Matthew, Paul’s words in the following verse reveal comfort rather than condemnation. God speaks to us as His children, not scolding us for worrying but assuring us to help end it. Not, Don’t you dare worry, but rather, You don’t need to worry…I’ve got this. I love you. So, God graciously laid out a plan to deal with our inevitable worry: Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

1 PRAYER.

God wants to hear our petitions and continuing needs. Remembering and relying on God’s character and care reorients our focus away from worry. And by acknowledging Him even before knowing a future result, it reminds us who is to be truly trusted with the decision.

2 PRAISE.

A big part of praise is recognizing and calling out God’s past participation in our lives. And that involves gratitude. It’s a scientific fact that the part of our brain that processes anxiety is the same part of our brain that processes thanksgiving. Our brain can’t process both at the same time. If we are grateful, we can’t be experiencing anxiety simultaneously. This is no surprise to God.

3 PRACTICE.

Rather than wallowing in worry, we should fill our heads with good things, pushing out worries with the power of God’s promises. If we are aware of worry and the destruction it can cause, we can intentionally tune it by staying consistent in His Word, and the community He provides in the church.

4 PEACE.

If anxiety expresses distrust in God’s plan, peace is just the opposite. Peace is “confidence and trust in God’s wise and good control over your life.” Prayer, praise, and practice unleash this powerful peace, so a little miracle happens: An anxious heart is calmed. Peace wraps a protective layer around our minds as God’s Spirit becomes supervisor of our inner voice.

We are human, so sometimes we worry excessively. But, God made a plan to rescue us from ourselves. It requires us to hand over ownership of our hearts, becoming servants instead of masters. My parents were intentional, so they did have their concerns. They were the bosses of their businesses and heads of their household but worry never consumed them. And now I understand why. They weren’t the masters of their own lives. They were constant pray-ers, praisers, and practicers. So, despite hailstorms and challenging economies—and even a few defiant teens—they found a path to the Father’s promised peace.

Lori Ann Wood is an award-winning freelance author. Her work has been published in several anthologies and numerous print and online venues, and her first book, Divine Detour: The Path You’d Never Choose Can Lead to the Faith You’ve Always Wanted, is available online at Amazon and loriannwood.com/books/. Connect with her on her website, on Instagram or on Facebook.

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And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you (Phil. 4:6–9, NLT).

These verses propose a four-step path to peace:

Purposeful NEW YEAR

he new year begins with so much promise and excitement anticipating new beginnings for many of us. We make resolutions, vow to make chang-

es with our health, relationships, or personal goals. However, after a few months, most of us have forgotten the freshness the new year brought. How can we be more intentional this year, especially spiritually? What can we do that will truly make a difference? We’ve asked some of our JBU authors and friends about how they live intentionally all year long. May their wisdom encourage you on a path of intentional faith-filled living!

Words of wisdom for faith-filled living. by Ann M. Cook

What does intentional living mean to you?

“

I used to think it meant reading my Bible and praying regularly to be a better wife, mother, and human being. However, that approach never left me feeling more improved or intentional enough. I eventually realized I was being intentional about fixing my flaws instead of fostering intimacy with my Father. I started reading the Bible to discern God’s love and character and praying more about the Lord than Laura! Living an intentional life doesn’t mean finding a way to fix ourselves but focusing on the One who died because we’re unable to fix ourselves. —Laura Sandretti

“

Intentionality is about living out what it means to die to myself and my own desires, and choose God’s way—whether this be ambitions, emotions, or interactions with others. It’s being deliberate in how I choose to treat people around me along with my reactions and turning to God in prayer, even if it’s just a quick “thank-you” or “please help”! When I choose to trust God’s plan and not my own path, He provides the next best steps. This intentionality allows me to walk closer to Him and hear His voice more clearly, which brings me the kind of certain, deep peace that only comes from Him. —Danielle Thomas

Tell us how you prioritize your prayer life.

“

I meet with God where I am. It’d be so nice to have an idealistic quiet time where I pour out my heart for hours with hot coffee and beautiful background music, but as a mom of four, ages six and younger, that’s not reality. If I wait for a “picturesque” moment, I wouldn’t be praying very often. For me, praying includes car prayers for bikers not wearing helmets or accidents we pass by, desperate prayers for feverish kiddos and boo-boos that need healing. I pray for patience and endurance—living in the trenches of toddlerdom! I can rejoice in the knowledge that He is faithful and good all the time, in every season and circumstance. —Christy Karcher

How do you fit in Bible reading and devotions?

“

I make time as best I can. I find that putting a reading plan in place, through my Bible app, helps keep me on track and established in a good routine. When life gets crazy, it can be difficult to continue with this rhythm, but I notice a marked difference when I don’t spend time with God in His Word daily—I’m more anxious, stressed, and even irritable. I know that the Bible helps me hear God’s voice and gives me the best perspective over my day, so I spend time in the mornings with Him, so it sets my day off to a great start. —Danielle Thomas

How do you care for your extended and/or church family?

“

My husband would say that I am guilty of maintaining friendships to a fault. I would have invited my entire kindergarten class to my wedding if I could have! A friendship of any value is worth a lifetime of investment. I also recognize that not all friendships last forever. I’ve had seasonal friends along with some I may not see very often, but we can pick up from where we’ve left off. Maintaining friendships requires maintenance! And that takes intentionality. It means carving out time to spend together in whatever form it takes—sometimes initiating contact rather than waiting to be contacted and reaching out to someone when the Lord has placed them on my heart. There are so many ways to connect in this era of social media. For me, nothing compares to spending time face-to-face and sharing heart-toheart with a person. —Lisa Elliot

How are you intentional about your daily plan?

“

I am generally a “planner,” so I like to organize ahead of time. Each week, my husband and I share our calendars, and plan our meals so that we don’t have unrealistic expectations surrounding dinner. My work schedule is flexible, but I typically work the same days/hours each week. This allows me to build in time for exercise, errands, and rest. The most important part of my daily plan is to start the day focused on God. My quiet time in the morning allows me to connect with God as my Father and Friend. He knows what each day will bring, and I can trust Him. As a new Christian, someone encouraged me to practice thanking God each day before I get out of bed and each night before I fall asleep, and I am intentional about doing so. —Jean Cook Editor’s Note: We hope you enjoy this new coloring feature. Grab some crayons, colored sharpies, or colored pencils and work your way through this piece with a little fun thrown in!

Ann M. Cook, MSN, RN, is a retired

nurse and nursing instructor. She and her husband, Randy, enjoy three grown children, including a son and daughter-in-law, and seven delightful grandchildren. She lives in Okauchee, Wis.

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At church, I intentionally listen for those who may need a note of encouragement, a kind word, help with a ride, or a meal, and I just go ahead and take care of it. Setting up a Meal Train can be very helpful and allows others to be involved. Prayer and listening to God’s prompting prior to helping is a must! With my disabled brother, I try to anticipate how to help care for him with visits, supplies, or meeting with staff at his facility. Keeping good boundaries and not overdoing it is something I’m intentional about as well. —Ann Cook

How do you maintain your friendships?

When We Are Willing to

Listen

Learning the art of hearing the words and heart of others.

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by Debra Celovsky

am walking out of Sunday morning service when I see his tall figure ahead of me. John has not been in church for several weeks due to a severe bout of COVID. I called him and he turned to greet me. “You have been missed!” I say with a smile. He is thin, very thin, and pale. “Yeah,” he says, “it’s been rough.”

John and his wife have three beautiful little girls and a baby boy. They serve faithfully in our church and are always a delight to be around. John is known for his wickedly funny sense of humor. But the man standing before me this morning has obviously been very ill. I asked about his experience. Over the next few minutes, he describes what the past weeks have

been like, the physical toll where he simply could not function. And the toll on his family as he seemed unable to gain strength. The church had arranged for meals to be brought to them and, alternatively, set up an option for donations for food delivery. These provisions blessed his family, but his own appetite was almost nonexistent. Is he whining? Hardly. He is not particularly expressive as he talks, but simply describes the worst illness he has ever had. As we part, he stops, turns around, and says, Thanks for listening. That morning John did not need to hear, “Oh, I know! We were so sick last [whenever]!” Or “Wow, I know, everyone in our office is so [whatever]!” Or “Man, I hear you! It went through our family [etc., etc.]” In those few moments he needed me to look him in the eyes and listen. He needed to be heard. Steven Covey, in his bestselling, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, wrote: “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” This inability of people in general to actually listen to another person with genuine interest—or to refrain from drawing the conversation irretrievably back to oneself—is epidemic. Too often in a conversation our eyes glaze over ever so slightly as we quickly scan our mental files for something that happened to us or someone we know or something we read or heard so we can “share” it as soon as the other person finishes a sentence—or perhaps before the sentence is finished. This ungracious habit is called “story-topping,” and benefits no one. It is the opposite of “reflective listening.” This is where we actually pay attention to what is being said and make the effort to convey our interest. It has two parts: 1. Hearing and understanding, to the best of our ability, what the other person is communicating through words and body language. 2. Reflecting back what the person has said with appropriate comments or questions. This tells the person we are actually engaged with what they are saying.

All of us experience those moments when we know someone needs our attention. But it’s more than just recognizing those moments—it is being willing to actually hear the words and the heart of that someone. Our expression and our posture let the person to whom we are speaking know whether or not we are tuned in to what they are saying. So, what are some characteristics we can develop? 1. We listen first—not to respond, but to understand. We don’t interrupt. 2. Our words, when we do speak, reflect that we have undistractedly given this person our attention. And we do not engage in story-topping. 3. Our face, our countenance, conveys both interest and appropriate good cheer. We may think a pained expression shows how much we care, but a pleasant, gracious expression is a better balm on a sore or discouraged heart. 4. We may, depending on the conversation, and as the Holy Spirit leads, take a moment to pray over the person, with an uplifting faith. Sixteenth century English theologian, Alexander Nowell, wrote, “God does not comfort us to make us comfortable but to make us comforters.” Sometimes it is our willingness to simply take the time to hear the voice and experience of another that is the comfort needed most.

• What do/did you like about it? • How did you come to that opinion/conclusion? • Earlier you mentioned [xyz]. How does that [impact on/relate to] what you just said? • And that means?

Debra Celovsky has served in

pastoral ministry with her husband most of her adult life, and her devotionals and articles have appeared in a number of publications. She is on the board of Inspire Christian Writers, and blogs at debracelovsky.com.

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What about those follow-up questions? This is one of the most crucial aspects of reflective listening. These might include:

Reflective listening is a skill that is innate in some people but must be intentionally cultivated in others. It isn’t as though God Himself hasn’t tried to encourage His people in this matter of paying attention. He always leads by example. For instance, He exhorts His people in Is. 55:2: “Listen [how?] carefully to Me . . .” And we are familiar with those wonderful words in Jer. 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” There is more, however, in the following verse: “Then you will call on Me, and come and pray to Me, and [what then?] I will listen to you” (vs. 12). The Old Testament is rife with the Divine exhortation to God’s people to be singularly mindful of God’s voice, and assurance that they will be heard when they call out to Him.

prayer PROMPTS

Thankful FOR MY FRIENDS My Loving Father, I am so very thankful for friends. You knew how much I would need them, and you gave me exactly the right ones. Some are social friends, who I enjoy because we share interests, laughter, and fun through activities, book clubs, or gym workouts. Some are more acquaintances, whose friendly hello and warm smile can be uplifting on a dark day. Some are inner-circle friends, who walk with me through the hard times, crying with me, praying with me, and holding me up when I feel I can’t stand. They also celebrate with me when things are good and encourage me to keep going when I feel stuck or to rest when I’m tired. The deepest friends share my love for You. I can trust my deepest secrets with the friends who know me well. These friends don’t judge my words or actions, yet they kindly hold me accountable to being a true Jesus follower and a good friend. They challenge me to keep growing and learning. They help me up when I stumble.

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Friends, God, are gifts from You, and each one enhances different aspects of my life. Thank You for every single one of them. Amen.

“Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble.” Proverbs 17:17, The Message

NEW Spring 2024 Books from ESTHER PRESS

WARRIOR OF EDEN

LIFE IS MESSY, GOD IS GOOD

Discover God’s original design for women; includes discussion questions and journal prompts.

A lighthearted approach to understanding God’s greater purposes when life gets a little messy.

On-sale: 1/23/2024 ISBN: 978-0-8307-8259-8 Price: $19.99 US

On-sale: 2/6/2024 ISBN: 978-0-8307-8533-9 Price: $18.99 US

A TABLE IN THE WILDERNESS

PEACE IN THE WAITING

A six-week bible study, with companion videos, that examines the spiritual significance of tables in Scripture.

An encouraging guide for Christians whose loved ones have wandered from truth or rejected Christ.

On-sale: 2/6/2024 ISBN: 978-0-8307-8423-3 Price: $19.99 US

On-sale: 4/2/2024 ISBN: 978-0-8307-8614-5 Price: $18.99 US

Available at ESTHERPRESS.COM or wherever books are sold!

Note rs e rt a t S

F O R E V E R Y D AY EN CO U R AGE ME N T

Practical ideas to let people know you care. ȷustbetweenus spring 2024

by Pamela Piquette & Cindee Snider Re

n 1914, J.R. Miller wrote, “…Go on, my dear friend, in your ministry of letter writing, and let Christ use your pen in this way for his service. God has given you a big heart—a great fountain of love, sympathy, and cheer. Let the streams pour out continually in all directions to bless the world. Hundreds and thousands of people need encouragement and uplifting. You will scarcely meet one man or one woman…whom you cannot make a little stronger or braver by saying the right word.”

my writings have “hit home and moved me more than you could imagine.”

Second Corinthians 3:3 says, “We are the living letters of Jesus, inscribed not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God.”

The little pink envelope reminded me that God’s joy is more contagious than bad attitudes. Refreshed, I thanked God for the unexpected words that changed my morning.

What encouraging reasons to write! Notes and letters don’t have to be long or expansive to be meaningful. Just a few well-chosen words can invite others into the comfort, care, compassion, hope, and joy of Jesus at just the right moment.

My Story: The Little Pink Envelope

Sometimes the unexpected words of encouragement, appreciation, or gratitude written, sealed, and delivered to our mailboxes can make a big difference on a difficult day. It had been a challenging morning. My kids were being unkind to one another and complaining about schoolwork, and I felt swamped by the tasks on my “to-do” list. Amid the fray, I caught sight of our mail carrier and grabbed my jacket before my kids could beat me to the door. I stepped out into the cool autumn air, thankful for a brief respite and a few quiet moments. I exchanged a quick greeting with our mail carrier as she handed me a stack of envelopes. Already I felt soothed by the cloudless, wide-open sky. I walked up the driveway breathing in the cool air and leafing through the mail, surprised by a sudden flash of pink. Curious, I pulled the small pink envelope from the stack. Lingering on the porch, I opened it and discovered the delightful words from someone I didn’t know, who had taken the time to tell me that

As I reread those words, Prov. 15:30 came to mind: A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones. A cloudless sky and these delightful words changed my perspective completely. I’d done so little to encourage my kids that morning. I hadn’t smiled or laughed, and I’d quickly let their challenging attitudes affect mine.

— Cindee

My Story: The Legacy of Mail

Even though my grandmother didn’t live near us, she intentionally remembered all 14 of her grandchildren on their birthdays. She sent each of us a specially chosen card and a check for $10. Because most of her grandchildren lived far away, she wanted to make sure each of us was remembered and knew of her love. She was a woman deeply dependent on the Lord who understood hardship and suffering. Because of her great faith, she would have prayed for us as she wrote a little note inside each card. When I was a child, we moved many times. While I often felt invisible at home, I also felt I stuck out at each new school. I was labeled a “new kid” and made to feel very unwelcome. Each card from Grandma Eunice was a precious reminder that I was seen and loved. — Pamela

So, get started and be that pink envelope and legacy of mail in someone’s life! It takes just a few words to brighten someone’s day and let them know they are thought of, cared about, and prayed for. Who is God asking you to send an encouraging word to today? continued ›

C O NSI D ER WRITING TO S O ME O N E W H O I S : • Estranged from family

• Celebrating good news

• Lonely, anxious, or depressed

• Homebound or hospitalized • Recovering from surgery

• Grieving the death of a loved one • Out of work

• Living with the loss associated with illness or pain • In a nursing home

• A soldier, missionary, or student far from home • Overlooked or underappreciated

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• Sick or struggling

rs e rt a t Note S › I am thinking of and praying for you today.

› Guard your heart today, dear one (Prov. 4:23).

› God placed you on my heart today.

› May the God of hope fill you with all joy and

I’m praying for you.

› I pray you know the deep, deep love of Jesus today.

› Do you know how deeply, perfectly, and intimately you are loved by God?

› Give yourself grace today. Move at your own pace, running the race God has perfectly prepared for you.

› God, who began a good work in you, will carry it on to completion (Phil. 1:6).

› It is an honor, a blessing, and a gift to be your

peace as you trust in him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Rom. 15:13).

› Do not be afraid. God is with you. He will

strengthen and encourage you (Deut. 31:6).

› Do not be anxious; God is with you. He is holding you in His hand (Is. 41:10).

› The LORD is close to you, dear brokenhearted friend. He promises to rescue you (Ps. 34:18).

› God’s grace is sufficient. His power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Cor. 12:9-10).

(mom, dad, husband, wife, child, grandchild, or friend). I love you!

› When you go through deep waters, God will be

› God loves you. No matter what. Even if and even

› God hears us when we call to Him. He is close to

when. You are loved. Always.

› Act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God (Micah 6:8). You’ve got this!

› When you are afraid, lean into the One who created you, the One who loves you beyond all imagining (Ps. 56:3).

with you (Is. 43:2).

us when we are crushed and brokenhearted (Ps. 34:17-18).

› God will sustain you. He will not let you be shaken (Ps. 55:22).

› May mercy, peace, and love be yours in abundance (Jude 1:2).

› You are so loved! It takes just a few words to brighten someone’s day and let them know they are thought of, cared about, and prayed for. Who is God asking you to send an encouraging word to today?

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— Pamela Piquette & Cindee Snider Re

Pamela Piquette is the executive

director and co-founder of Chronic Joy, a nonprofit ministry that ministers to the chronically ill. Additionally, she is coauthor of several books, using her own illness to encourage others. Married for over 30 years, she has three children and six grandchildren.

Cindee Snider Re is an author,

designer, and co-founder of Chronic Joy. Battling her own personal illness and that of her children, she walks alongside the suffering. She and her husband have four kids and grandchildren. Visit their site at chronic-joy.org for all kinds of resources for chronic illness. See the Chronic Joy ministry ad on page 43.

Grow

Your Discipleship As we grow in Christ, it’s important that we learn how to study the Bible for ourselves and not depend solely on the instruction of others. Consider the challenge from the writer of Hebrews: Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil (Heb. 5:13-14). One of the best ways to get to the “solid food” of the Word is through “inductive” Bible study. The

How to Study the Bible by Dwight Hill

inductive method makes observations on a passage of Scripture and then draws conclusions based on those observations. Commonly, this method is defined by three parts: observation, interpretation, and application. Navigator Dwight Hill has broken this method into seven steps. Try it out on one of the short epistles— 1 Thessalonians, Philippians, Colossians, or 1 or 2 Timothy.

7 Steps to Studying the Bible

Background. First, do a basic background study of the book: Who is the author? Why was it written? Learn the historical background, dates, key people, and so on. Study Bibles, Bible dictionaries, and online commentaries are helpful.

Personal Paraphrase. Starting with the first chapter, write out each verse or section of verses in your own words. This will help you understand each verse in wording that makes more sense to you.

Questions and Answers. Write down the questions you have about the passage, or unfamiliar or confusing terms that you come across.

Insights. If an observation occurs to you that relates to any part of the passage or its background, be sure to write it down.

Example: Paul was commanded by God to be an apostle. It wasn’t something he decided to do on his own. After completing your own analysis, consult a Bible commentary for additional insight. Remember, don’t go to commentaries first; start by making your own observations.

Example: Q. What does the word “apostle” mean and what does it mean to be one? A. The Greek word apostolos comes from the verb apostello, which means “to send forth.” So, to be an apostle means to be someone who is sent forth—in this case by Christ to spread His message.

Example: Apostle: 2 Corinthians 1:1 God my Savior: Luke 1:47; Titus 1:3

Title and Summarize. After completing this verse-by-verse analysis of the chapter, assign it a title, and identify a key verse(s). Write a summary paragraph outlining the thesis of the chapter. Repeat the process for subsequent chapters. When the book is completed, give it a collective title.

Motivational writer and speaker Zig Ziglar said, Aim at nothing and you are sure to hit it. Let’s aim high in our goal to know God and be transformed by His Word. There is nothing greater. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord (Phil. 3:8).

Christ our hope: Colossians 1:27 Adapted from How to Study the Bible ©2023 The Navigators by Dwight Hill. Taken from Discipleship Journal, Issue 90 (1995) and Facts of the Matter, a publication of The Navigators. Written by Dwight Hill. Used by permission of The Navigators. All rights reserved.

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Cross References. Make a note of any similar or related passages that come to mind. Consult a concordance, other study guides, or footnotes to collect related passages.

Personal Application. Here is a possible application of 1 Tim. 1:1: Just like Paul, I need to recognize that I am tasked with being Christ’s ambassador, authorized and sent out with a divine message. I can only be effective in my mission if I am aware of my status as a divinely appointed witness.

CANOPY OVER MY

SOUL

Clinging to God’s goodness in the darkness of depression. by Erika Rachelle Anderson

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vividly remember what it feels like.

The constant heaviness. The tasks that piled up because it was all I could do to feed, clothe, and try to nurture my children.

The lack of joy. The constant overwhelm. The dread.

I retreated into social isolation to hide my brokenness; a canopy of death hung over my soul. Depression. There is no denying that what I was experiencing was real. This depression could be neither a sole spiritual reality that could be prayed away nor a longitudinal neurochemical limp needing lifetime medication.

There had to be a middle ground. I knew Jesus. Though I was unsure why He wouldn’t speak my freedom into existence, I knew He could proclaim a word, and the suffocating gloom would dissipate. It is frustrating to be friends with Freedom yet find no relief from depression. I knew Psalms to be a book of grief, yet I found it to be trite. I didn’t fully understand the power of the Psalms until my depression got so bad that it became my guide and my handbook. The only way I could get through a day was to sit with that book every morning before work and every night before sleep.

Search for Peace in the Psalms

Although I didn’t stop taking the medicine that my doctor prescribed, David’s prayers worked infinitely better to quiet the dark and bring comfort. David’s words explained where I was and how my heart felt. They taught me how to squint through the darkness and usher in the dawn.

Cleave to God’s Goodness and Authority David possessed an unwavering belief in God’s goodness. He clung to it. Nothing could falsify it. God is good. Full stop. David intentionally set this truth before him all day every day. He trained his mind to see his Father’s face through the shadows of darkness and any pattern of thought the shadowlands may have set. “You are my LORD; apart from you I have no good thing…I have set the LORD always before me…” (Ps. 16:2, 8). This was his choice, as is ours. We can lie under the reality of God’s goodness or allow ourselves to be smothered by oppressive darkness. David chose to hold fast to the goodness of God, and he claimed the authority of all the Father’s goodness and love over his darkness. On his own strength of mind, David did not feel better. On medication alone, I did not feel better.

Giant slayer.

Only by cleaving to our Father—allowing His Good Authority to be bigger than the dark—will space open to breathe again.

Minstrel of the king.

Connect with God to Find Joy

Shepherd boy.

Most wanted. Chronically hunted. Depressed. David’s couch was drenched with tears, and his nights were sleepless (Ps. 6:6). He felt the cords of the grave coiled around him; he cried in distress (Ps. 18:4-6). He was lonely and alienated from his friends and family (Ps. 69:8). He endlessly wrestled with his thoughts and was overcome by sorrow (Ps. 13:2). Yes, David knew the clinical feelings of depression. But somehow, in his blinding sorrow, David managed to reflect God’s character and image. I needed to learn that. Because if all this sorrow was supposed to be producing something beautiful in me, I was sorrowing entirely wrong.

He says, “You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound” (Ps. 4:7). Even without realizing the scientific profundity of his observation, it wasn’t any less accurate. Neuroscience has found there to be two reward pathways: one from dopamine, one from serotonin. Activating a reward pathway is the way we feel “happy.” Food, shopping, alcohol, sugar, drugs, Netflix, social media—anything we can become addicted to—those all activate the dopamine pathway. But real human connection, trust, love, sacrifice, friendship—those all activate the serotonin pathway. Dopamine creates short-term pleasure while serotonin creates longterm contentment. David observed that he felt more contentment from nearness to His Good Father than from the best food and wine. Connection with God—attachment to a Good and Loving Father—neurochemically manufactures joy.

continued ›

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I began analyzing the brutally honest descriptions of his reality that seamlessly flowed into proclamations of God’s protection and goodness. I found patterns. And thank goodness, I slowly began discovering the same dawn that David found.

Though David was pre-scientific method, he observed something significant about brain chemistry.

Accept the Coexistence of Joy and Sorrow

David turned his soul-deep torment into a prayer for freedom of an entire nation (Ps. 25:22). For the justice of those in distress, both physical and spiritual. For freedom now and in the future.

Darkness and light. The coexisting contours of human life.

When I was battling depression, I wasted much sorrow by focusing on myself. Just like a papercut stings and throbs and occupies your mind all day, my pain consumed my thoughts. Yet, when I looked up from my pain to see the hurting faces of others, I learned to pray for their deliverance as well as my own.

David’s immediate feelings and reality were bleak; simultaneously, he acknowledged the goodness of His Father.

David did not allow the presence of darkness to disprove the light. To do so would have been to deny the goodness and authority of God. Instead, right there in the middle of the valley of the shadow of death, in the middle of the darkest dark, He found peace in God. God does not promise that darkness will disappear. He promises a plenteous feast right in the middle of it. “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies” (Ps. 23:5). Rest and refreshment occur in the presence of darkness, not after it has passed. Our immediate circumstance doesn’t have to change to enjoy this pocket of nourishing protection. The reality is, it often won’t. Learn to stay at the table. Learn to fix your spiritual gaze on our Father, rather than the darkness beyond. Doing so will force the crushing dark to sink back into its own shadow. It will invite calm into the chaos.

Embrace the Community of Sorrow

You are not alone in your darkness. Your sorrow is not unique. This is where your pain begins to breathe purpose.

Actively Wait for the Dawn

David played a part in his deliverance from darkness. He was not passive; he allowed the tears that soaked his couch to be turned into a song. He instructed both his instruments and soul to wake up. He resolutely proclaimed, “I will awaken the dawn” (Ps. 57:8). David intoning the power and goodness of God caused the darkness to recoil. When your heart hurts, singing is unthinkable. In these moments, it’s okay to borrow the songs of others. Let the strains of comfort and love flow from iTunes or YouTube into your soul until you have strength to sing on your own. This darkness will not last forever. Your God has not forsaken you. He will restore your soul (Ps. 23:3). You will make it through to dawn. And until you get there, feel free to borrow this prayer.

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A PRAYER IN DEPRESSION

You, O Lord, are my God. You are good. I set You ever before me, above me, behind me. I lay myself down, sheltered under Your goodness. Your power and authority are greater than the crushing darkness I feel. Awaken my soul. Rouse my heart to sing. Be here with me in my grave. Use my sorrow to dig trenches that will flow rich with Your love. And deliver from oppression those who feel the same. Thank You, Father. You are good. Amen. Reprinted from livingbydesign.org/psalms-to-pray/. Used with permission.

Erika Rachelle Anderson has

previously written for Living By Design and Her View From Home. She has three beautiful daughters and is a high school humanities teacher in Southern Alberta. Connect with her on Instagram at @erikarachelleanderson.

Muddied Waters A true friend dives in. by Carole G. Rodgers

e find out who our true friends are when we travel through the muddied waters of life. Sometimes it’s the muddied waters of trial and tragedy. Sometimes it’s the muddied waters of misunderstandings and hurt feelings, of loss and failure mingled with regrets. It may be the muddied waters of change, of broken trust, and broken hearts. These times come to all of us, and when they do, it will be those who are willing to dive into our muddied waters with us who will win our hearts. They will lift us up, offer comfort without a word being spoken, their presence alone is more than enough. They will listen lovingly with their hearts—wise and caring enough to not have all the answers. Friends knit together in Spirit and in love can face any peril with hope and victory. Within a year after moving to Washington, I met a person who was to become a life-long friend. She “adopted” me into her family and her kids became my kids, their birthdays and holidays my celebrations. Even more than that, in our 50-plus years of friendship, we had more than our fair share of diving into each other’s muddied waters. We wouldn’t have it any other way. Each time we took that plunge, we emerged from it better friends, and hopefully, better servants of our Lord. By learning how meaningful it can be to dive into someone’s muddied waters, we are more than ready to offer this same gift of love to others. We have had a good Teacher. Wasn’t it Jesus who dove into the muddied waters of the woman at the well, a tax collector by the name of Levi, a frightened harlot about to be stoned, a demon-possessed man, and even in His dying, a thief on the cross?

Encourage her. Remind her often that God sees her and knows every detail of her challenging situation. Speak life as you walk beside her.

Listen well. Listen to understand, not with the intention of offering all the helpful advice you have. Keep from being judgmental.

Be present. Nothing will beat the comfort of sitting down with your friend face to face. Make dates to get together so she doesn’t have to reach out to you.

Lighten her load. Find out what things are difficult for her and plan ways that reduce her stress: set up a Meal Train, babysit, give financially, run errands, chauffeur children, clean the house, etc.

4 5

Pray faithfully. Commit to pray for her

for the long haul. We all tend to jump in at the beginning of a crisis, but it’s hard to pray for friends when things might not improve for a long time. A friend who prays faithfully is one of the very best gifts any of us can receive from another! —Suzan Braun

Carole G. Rodgers is involved in various ministries in her church, especially outreach. Additionally, she is

an avid walker, reader, and loves to explore the beautiful outdoors of the great Northwest. She lives in Tumwater, Wash.

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What is a true friend? We simply have to look to Jesus. It comes down to the depth of one’s love. Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13). He certainly proved that on the cross. It’s easy enough to be a friend when life’s waters are sweet and refreshing, but the true test of friendship comes when the waters of life are muddied, and we find ourselves there at the water’s edge. I want to be the kind of friend who’s ready and willing to dive in. What about you?

5 Ways to Help a Friend in Need

Martha, Martha

hen I enter the story of Jesus at the home of Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42), I’m not sure where to sit.

Up front with Mary, at Jesus’ feet? In the back, peering between the heads of the disciples? In the end, I bow to duty and pad out to the kitchen to help an exasperated Martha stir the pots of stress and hurry. “But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.” While Martha and I tend the pressure cooker of need-to’s and must-do’s, Jesus is speaking. Perhaps because we can barely hear Him over the hiss, clang, and clatter, things go downhill from here: “[Martha] came to him and asked,” Martha leaves her labor and approaches the Lord on holy ground, peering through kitchen-vision at the Alpha and Omega, the Very Image of the Invisible God, the I Am,

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“Lord, don’t you care…?”

Asking, “Do You have no sympathy at all? How can You condone Mary’s irresponsibility? “…that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?” “And now that You’re aware of my situation and how I feel,

Are you stuck with a kitchen vision? by Sandy Mayle

“Tell her to help me!” “Here’s what You should do about it!”

JESUS’ RESPONSE “Martha, Martha.” Her name, twice. It’s Jesus’ intimate, loving bid for her full attention. “You are worried and upset about many things.” He lays a finger on the condition of her spirit. “But few things are needed—or indeed only one.” The remedy is simple (but not always easy). “Mary has chosen what is better,” Jesus defends and commends Mary’s choice. “And it will not be taken away from her.” He refuses to banish Mary to the kitchen. (I like to think that Martha herself abandoned the kitchen at this point, and that supper was a bit late that evening and no one minded). Whatever her response, I do believe this story is a bid for me to choose, like Mary, to live at His feet. But given my own unavoidable responsibilities and “kitchen-duties,” what does that mean?

A MONTH OF ACCORDANCE The Lord began to answer that question as I spent a month with one Bible verse: Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires (Rom. 8:5). I prayerfully meditated on that verse on a personal retreat, spending Mary-time at Jesus’ feet. I learned a lot. I learned how kitchen-vision narrows my thinking, my desires, and my solutions. How living in accordance with my sinful nature turns my undisciplined thoughts to self-preoccupation, false assumptions, doubt, worry, and regret. God showed me that the solution wasn’t to wrestle my thoughts into line; the key was living in accordance with the Spirit—in heart-to-heart harmony with Him. As I do this, my mind will become set on what He desires.

WHAT DOES THE HOLY SPIRIT DESIRE? The Holy Spirit is a divine Person who lives in those who have trusted in Christ (Rom. 8:11b). He has, like any person, thoughts, purposes, and feelings. What does He desire? Welcome. “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in” (to lukewarm believers, Rev. 3:20). Intimate communion. “I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me” (Rev. 3:20). Holiness. “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God” (Eph. 4:30, emphasis mine). Quietness. “The mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace” (Rom. 8:6). Free rein. “Do not quench the Spirit” (1 Thess. 5:7). And what does the Holy Spirit desire to do? Give understanding. “We have received… the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us” (1 Cor. 2:12).

Help us pray. “We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans” (Rom. 8:26-27).

Empower us. “I pray that… [the Father] may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being” (Eph. 3:16). Give gifts. “To each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good” (1 Cor. 12:7). I can increasingly meet these desires as God brings me into unbroken accordance with His Spirit and I become more deeply aware of His presence, with a keener ear for His whisper and a heightened sensitivity to what He wants.

ALL IN Is the Holy Spirit calling you to live in accordance with Him? If so, • Ask God to help you live in accordance with His Spirit. • Meditate prayerfully on Rom. 8:5. • Become acquainted with the Holy Spirit’s ongoing desires (some are listed earlier in this article). • Invite the Spirit to reveal His personal desires for you. In your daily quiet times, seek to know what He wants for that day. Pause repeatedly to ask, “Am I in accordance with You right now?” In time this will become a momentary, wordless exchange between Him and you. Some days I do better than others at this living in accordance; occasionally, I don’t do well at all! There’s a long learning curve. But I’m finding that the Holy Spirit comes right into the “kitchen” of my necessary tasks, helping me to listen for His soundless words as I move from one duty to another. It’s so satisfying to occasionally “hear” His whisper in the middle of the dailiness (You’re right where I want you) or to sense His prompt or His check. Our life-of-accordance will be tested by the enemy, by distractions, by frequent failings. But it needn’t be a fragile lifestyle because God Himself is doing this durable work in us, as we cooperate. Because He’s defending our choice: “It will not be taken away from her.” And because He who began His good work in us means to “carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Phil. 1:6).

Sandy Mayle is a freelance writer of

articles, devotionals, poetry, and prayer and retreat resources. She and her husband, Dave, live in Erie, Pa. They have three sons and daughters-in-law and eight grandchildren.

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Glorify Christ. “[The Spirit] will glorify me because it is from me that he will receive what he will make known to you” (John 16:14).

The Father’s will. “The Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God” (Rom. 8:27).

The storm is the place where His

power

ce en s P re

is greatest and nearest.

FINDING GOD’S

IN CLOUDS OF UNCERTAINTY

wrapped a pink towel around my neck to support the weight of my head—the only answer to the screaming muscles in my weakened neck. Clumsily, I stooped to secure the leash to my yorkie’s collar and guided him down the porch steps as the screen door banged behind us. We slowly wound the path around the mountainside next to the rented farmhouse that I had called home for the last two years. This farmhouse was a place that represented so many fulfilled dreams—a new job that had offered independence after college graduation, a life in the North Carolina mountains, a supportive church family, and budding friendships— and it was the home I was preparing to bid goodbye.

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My declining health was robbing me of the ability to support myself financially and meant that I would have to return to my parents’ home for the foreseeable future.

Months of physical symptoms led to a diagnosis of fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, and depression. Therapies, treatments, rest, and a leave of absence from my teaching career was the prescribed plan from the team of experts who had seemingly taken over my life. The leftover rain drops from the morning showers elicited a squeak from my shoes with every step I

by Rosann Coulon

took in the well-worn path through the grass. My doctor’s instructions echoed through my mind. You must keep moving. Walk at least 20 minutes each day. I willed my feet to walk and begged my heart not to break, but it did anyway. Realizing that soon this track would belong to someone else, the heaviness of my shattered dreams threatened to undo me. With my head hung low and hot tears streaming, I carefully stepped along the blurring route and called on the only One who could help me. “Lord, I don’t understand what’s happening. I know You brought me here, yet now it seems like I’m losing everything. Where are You?”

God’s Presence in the Storm

Ominous clouds from an impending storm obscured the view of the mountains surrounding me. The thick coverage swooped down so low that mist enveloped me, and that’s when I heard the words of Nahum whisper to my heart: His way is in the whirlwind and the storm, and clouds are the dust of his feet (1:3). Suddenly, God’s peace and comfort flooded my soul. I was comforted as I realized that God’s presence surrounded me in the storm right there on the mountainside. And just as His presence was with me on the mountain, His presence walked with me in the storm of my heart, my failing health, and the looming loss.

Unexpected storms roll into each of our lives. They come in forms of loss, rejection, financial upheaval, or health crises (to name a few), that leave us grasping for a firm grip to hold on to. By nature, clouds muddy the view of reality and can hide our view of God. But these are the places where His power is greatest, and His presence is nearest.

God’s Way in the Storm

Scripture is full of stories of those who—although they did not understand the trials and hardships— were being led by the hand of God as He fulfilled His perfect plan through the storms. For example, Joseph was betrayed by his brothers, sold into slavery, and locked in a prison cell, but— through Joseph’s faithfulness and God’s great plan— He was used to save an entire nation from famine. Job suffered the loss of all he held dear, yet God restored him and used his story of steadfastness to comfort all of humanity that followed behind him. Esther stepped out in uncertainty and willingly risked her life to save herself—and the Jewish people—and God delivered them.

God’s Peace in the Storm

A couple of weeks after I found God’s presence in the clouds, boxes of my belongings filled the moving truck, and I turned the lock on the door of my dream

Maybe an unexpected storm has rolled into your life, and you are enclosed by the low-hanging clouds. You wonder what God is up to as you struggle to make your way along the darkened path. Let me assure you—the storm is not so great that God is not in control of it. The clouds you see are only proof that His presence is all around you. He is leading, He is guiding, and He is working out a marvelous purpose that is for your good and for His glory. We can trust Him in the clouds of uncertainty.

A PRAYER IN THE STORM

Lord, it is difficult to understand what You are doing when I can’t see the way ahead. I even wonder if You are near. Help me trust that You are closer than ever when the storm clouds swoop down around me. Fill me with peace as Your presence surrounds me. Thank You for working out Your plan for good and for loving me always. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Rosann Coulon is the founder of Leaving A Well Ministries, whose mission is to spread biblical hope and encouragement to those living in hard seasons. She has written for various online publications, including Hosanna Revival: WHEN blog, TGC, and Calla Press. Visit Rosann’s website at leavingawell. com to receive free encouraging resources and connect with her at instagram.com/rosann_coulon.

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Paul, along with various sufferings, endured a shipwreck after traveling through a disastrous storm. Yet God used Paul to further the Gospel of Jesus Christ. His writings contained encouragement and instruction for the early church and are forever inscribed in the Word of God.

for the last time. I drove away without glancing back, and although the future was still veiled from my eyes, I was certain that God was right in the middle of my storm. He was—indeed—in control of the situation, and He would stay close beside me every step of the way.

FREE

FALLING THROUGH

FEAR You’re braver and stronger than you think. by Meredith King

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ecause I’m afraid of heights, I almost missed a once-in-a-lifetime chance to see some of the most beautiful scenery Colorado has to offer.

My husband, David, and I won an all-inclusive dream vacation to a luxurious resort in Colorado Springs, including access to one of the resort’s excursions. While I was dreaming of a relaxing spa day with fancy finger sandwiches and hot tea for lunch, my adventure-loving husband discovered an elite ziplining course—and his mind was made up. I hadn’t seen many opportunities excite him like this, so I gave in and registered us for the high-flying adventure that would propel us over

a canyon and series of waterfalls. The course included ten ziplines in total—with the longest around 1,800 feet, plus a good bit of moderate hiking, Indiana Jones style rope suspension bridges, and a pretty significant rappel. Just reading the description was enough to throw me into a panic. As we approached the first zipline, I could not hear anything the instructor said over the bass drum beating in my chest. Hot tears stung my eyes as my breath quickened and my body’s involuntary panic response kicked into high gear. I was terrified and basically paralyzed. I didn’t think I could move one inch, much less make it to the next stop. David

whispered in my ear, his tone sure and steady, “Honey, you’ve got this! You are braver and stronger than you think you are!” My soul knew he was right even though my trembling hands didn’t. Just as fear threatened to steal the moment and the view, my feet found just enough strength to step off the platform and allow gravity to do the rest. What came next was breathtaking, both in the natural beauty I saw below and in the supernatural exhilaration of trusting God so completely.

Fear Precedes Bravery We all want to be brave. Just hearing the word brave pulls on something deep inside of us, a longing for it to be present and true. Yet we so often assume that bravery is reserved for a select few and we aren’t on that list. Each of us must eventually face opportunities to be brave despite our fear. These low places are often some of the hardest: an unexpected diagnosis, a crumbling marriage, deep loss and grief, financial stress, the loss of a job, the deep sting of rejection, a child in crisis, or even a crisis of faith. But bravery is also discovered in the common moments of our ordinary lives. The kid who keeps falling off their bike but finds enough courage to try again. The friend who starts a hard conversation because they care enough to share the truth. The woman unexpectedly starting her life over who walks into the interview despite being told she doesn’t have all the qualifications. Fear does not disqualify us from being brave. Instead, it sets the stage. Why? Because fear precedes bravery. You simply cannot have one without the other.

Never Alone in Your Fear

A little more than halfway through our ziplining adventure, we reached the “point of no return”—the final place where you could opt out and hike back down the mountain. Once you passed this point, the

Before we made our final descent to the bottom of the mountain, I glanced behind me, so grateful I didn’t quit. I may not have ever stopped being afraid, but the fear didn’t stop me. Somewhere it had grabbed the hand of bravery and wouldn’t let go.

God’s Power is Stronger Than Your Fear The first verse of Psalm 23, says, “The LORD is my shepherd; I have what I need” (Ps. 23:1, CSB). We are braver and stronger than we think we are because He has all the courage and strength we need. He gives us everything we need. Are you peering over the edge of a cliff right now or standing with one foot on a narrow bridge, waiting for the courage to take your next step? Are you scared of the steps in front of you, the challenge you are facing, the opportunity that’s come your way? Remember, just as God held me up and moved me forward on that zipline course (and every other terrifying journey He’s taken me on), He’s with you too. Psalm 23 goes on to say, “Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life” (Ps. 23:6a). Not only is God with you, but His goodness and faithful love are also coming along behind, chasing you down, relentlessly pursuing you. They are your constant travel companions. God met me on that zipline course to remind me that He walks with me when I’m afraid and His power is always stronger than my fear—and He’ll do the same for you. I invited that chapter to be written, but I’ve experienced plenty of terrifying chapters I did not choose. Perhaps you didn’t ask for your current chapter either, and maybe you would never volunteer for those circumstances, these trials, or that fear again. But I’m confident of one thing: God is with you, offering you everything you need to be brave in your fear.

Meredith King is a nonprofit and

leadership strategist, Bible teacher, and author. She is the founder of True to Life Ministries, as well as an advisor for Integrus Leadership. Meredith and her family live in Texas, where she joyfully survives on coffee and queso. Learn more and connect at meredithkingblog.com.

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Psalm 23 is the first chapter in the Bible I memorized as a child, and it’s become the soundtrack to some of my life’s most fear-filled moments. This ancient Hebrew poem penned by King David describes the darkest of valleys where God walks with us. We are never left to navigate our fear alone. Even when we find ourselves drowning in hurt or stress, when we aren’t sure how to muster the strength to take another step, or when the unexpected winding road doesn’t appear to have an end, we can press on, regardless of how afraid we are, because He is the one leading us forward. He is our shepherd.

only way down was to finish the course. We could see what was ahead: the longest zipline yet and several custom-built rope and wood suspension bridges swinging in the wind over a deep canyon. I watched as half of our group tapped out and started their hike, and every logical thought in my mind screamed at me to join them. The four of us who remained knew there was no going back. I also knew that if fear won, I would lose.

INTENTIONAL FAITH

The Truth About Unmet Expectations by Jen Allee

am notorious for jumping ahead and assuming I know where something is headed or how something should play out. I can catch a glimpse of God’s general direction in my life and confidently set up the finish line that I am sure He wants me to cross. In short, I am quick to map out where God is headed with me. And I can hold onto those expectations so tightly that I truly believe God shares them with me. But sometimes He doesn’t. Expectations are a tricky thing. When they go according to plan, we love them. But, when they deviate and go rogue, we despise them—ushering in disappointment. And when disappointment seeps into the crevices of our heart it distorts our perception of God. Why didn’t He come through the way I expected? Doesn’t He love me? And disappointment left unchecked can open the door to bitterness. Yuck! What a terrible downward spiral. But, oh the irony! How can we choose to be the author and owner of our expectations, yet bitter toward Him when they go awry? Is it possible to manage our expectations in ways that when they go unmet, we aren’t doubting God’s goodness?

Expectations and Reality

Reality doesn’t always match our expectations, but that doesn’t have to mean disappointment. After all, Paul tells us in 1 Cor. 2:9 that “no mind has conceived the things God has prepared for those who love Him.” Therefore, some things in life I can’t predict, simply because I can’t conceive of them. But let’s be honest, that truth is easier read than applied.

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How do we get excited and trust in what God has prepared for us if we can’t conceive of it? I have pondered this and have learned two valuable lessons to help me embrace this truth:

1. I must make room in my life for the unexpected. On any given day, my dreams and desires expand like an inflated balloon, filling my heart to capacity. And

that fullness either prevents God from adding to it or it pushes back my ability to recognize His goodness. When I am fixated on what I want, I miss what He has for me. Therefore, I must create space for what I can’t conceive of and let God surprise me with what He has prepared. 2. I need to stop looking to my expectations to bring me life. When I make the assumption that I will be satisfied or content as soon as God gives me ________, then I have put myself in charge of my well-being. And the tighter the grip is on my desires, the less I am able to grasp what He is offering me. I must look to Him for life, trusting I may not be able to conceive His goodness in it until later.

Expectations and Lordship

I am learning to hold my desires in life loosely. Have I brought them to God first, willing to forgo them if necessary? Am I open to Him working in my life in ways I could never have foreseen? I get into trouble if my dreams are nonnegotiable. When I determine my destiny, I usurp the throne of God. It is as if I lay out my plans and then let God know He is free to fulfill them. Therefore, if I am not careful, my expectations can replace His lordship. Now, is it wrong to have dreams and want good and godly things? Absolutely not. But I must hold them with open hands, knowing when my expectations are not met it is because they were not God’s plan for me.

➜

Be Intentional

Who is the author and owner of your ex-

pectations in life? What expectation are you holding tightly to? Ask God to help you loosen your grip and trust Him with your future..

Jen Allee is an author and speaker who believes a strong faith

is built one intentional step at a time. For encouragement in taking your next step, visit her at Living Intentionally at jenallee.com.

jenallee.com

A compassionate gift when there are no words to console. Grieving with God Journaling to Heal Your Broken Heart By Sharon Fox God ing with

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FAITH AT WORK

Well Done, Intentional Servant by Danielle Thomas

re there any colleagues at your job that have been there a very long time? Some of my coworkers have worked for the company for 20-plus years, which in comparison to my mere six months in my role seems like forever! It’s interesting to me that some of the people with the longest service always seem to be the most passionate about our products—they have a personal connection to the company and have helped play a role in getting it to where it is today, investing their time and energy over the years. To a new joiner like me, that commitment is inspiring. It makes me feel like my company is one worth dedicating my efforts to for the long term.

Attitudes Matter

When it comes to living for God, we know that He isn’t interested in our half effort. In exchange for His grace and mercy, He demands we surrender our whole life to Him. It’s all we can offer for the sacrifice of His Son. I firmly believe that our work and our attitude towards work is a huge part of this too—after all, if we’re working full-time, we’re spending quite a bit of our everyday lives in that environment. In that regular rhythm, it’s easy to fall into the trap of apathy about our work, in a world where tempting opportunities for quick cash are all around and the daily 9 to 5 can feel like an endless slog at times. I think it’s worth examining our hearts to understand, am I just going through the motions of this job? Or am I putting my heart into it, for God’s glory?

ȷustbetweenus spring 2024

Intentionality Matters

Whether you’ve been at your job for three years or thirty, the Bible holds the same message for you: intentionality matters to God, and this applies to our work too. Proverbs 13:4 tells us, “A sluggard’s appetite is never filled, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied.” When we work hard and reject apathy towards even the most mundane of tasks, God promises to satisfy us.

In Matthew 25:14-30, Jesus shares a parable where a master entrusts bags of gold to three of his servants. The first two, through working hard, make a return on the master’s investment and are able to give him back double what they were given. The master rewards them by telling them that he will give them more responsibilities because they have demonstrated their faithfulness to him. But the third servant decides that he would rather bury the gold than work to invest it. When the master returns to see that the servant has done nothing with it, he calls him “wicked,” “lazy,” and “worthless” and throws him out.

Living as a Servant of Christ Matters

This parable makes me think of my long-service colleagues and the energy and excitement that they still exude, even after decades of work. If they can have that level of dedication to our company’s mission and passion about our products, how much more should I be practicing productivity and purposeful investment in my job as a follower of Christ? Even on the days when work feels like a chore, we can pray for God to give us hearts that are joyful and encouraging to those around us in our workplace, and that He will bless the work that we’re doing. We can pray against the stealthy creep of apathy and the lethargic selfishness of laziness when it comes to our jobs. Instead, let’s commit to our work as servants of Christ who are known for radiating dedication and diligence in His name. Since God entrusts us with our work to glorify Him in our lives, let’s be faithful servants who use the gifts He’s given us to double His investments on earth and for eternity.

Danielle Thomas works in corporate communications for

a national telecoms company in the UK. She lives with her British husband, Caleb, and Cavapoo puppy. She enjoys hiking, exploring the countryside, and learning UK history.

thethomases2020@gmail.com

Good Intentions are Not Enough I began my walk with good intentions of talking with Jesus. It wasn’t long before I was distracted by incoming texts. I found myself reading and responding to these messages, rather than focusing on Jesus. I wonder if you can relate. Even Jesus, Who is perfect, experienced distractions during His day. Let’s take a closer look at Jesus and learn from Him. Read Mark 6:30-46. When the disciples returned from their intense ministry, Jesus saw their needs. He continuously faced the needs of people. Yet, look how He responded in vs. 31. Jesus invites us to step out of our distractions and step into rest, an unhurried time to be fully present with Him: to give Him our undivided attention, embrace His truth, His love, and His grace, and feel His presence. Rest is essential to intimacy with Jesus. How easy is it for you to pull away and rest with Jesus in a busy time?

minutes in the

WORD By Dorie Etrheim What would an intentional rhythm of resting in Jesus look like for you?

Digging Deeper “Come away with Me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest” (Mark 6:31). This verse commands us to draw near to Jesus and rest. “Rest” in Greek is the word anapauo, which means to give rest, not only cease, but this references refreshment of the inner man. “By yourselves” is the Greek phrase kat’ idian, which means alone, without anybody else or anything else. “Quiet place/desolate place” is the Greek phrase eis eremon topon meaning into an isolated, unfrequented place with no distractions. Jesus extends an invitation for you to come away and draw near to Him into a place with no distractions, to rest, and be refreshed.

What diverted the disciples’ attention in vs. 32? How did they and Jesus respond?

For Your Journal Spend some time journaling about the following:

Jesus saw an opportunity to trust the Father, even amid distractions. Trust and rest go hand in hand.

Just like Jesus saw His disciples, He sees you too. Hear Him inviting you to intentionally get away to get some rest. What are the distractions that keep you from resting in Jesus? Give them to Him in prayer.

How does Jesus end His day in vs. 46?

Remember, good intentions are not enough. What can we learn from Jesus’ rhythm of spending time with His Father from these verses: Luke 5:15-16

“Rejoice with those who rejoice.” ROMANS 12:15

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Mark 1:35-37

OUTSIDE YOUR FRONT DOOR

Serving in This Season of Life

by Ashley N. Thomas

erving at your church or at a local ministry, being a good neighbor, investing in your child’s school, or any other area that invites you to give and receive from someone else, exemplify Jesus’s kind of life throughout the Gospels. Receive His grace, and then pour out His love to a broken and hurting world. We need each other! Recently, I have been reflecting on how this looks during different seasons of life. Each season brings with it new life, new rhythms, and new expectations. Each season may bring highs and lows, but also a reminder to embrace what is now, because soon it will change once again. Work through these questions to assess what may be possible for you in this season of your life: 1. How many days or weeks ahead are you scheduling to get together with friends or family? If you are booked for more than two weeks, can you add to your schedule right now? 2. Are you taking care of yourself? Are you practicing rhythms that are beneficial to your health and well-being? This could include: sabbath, exercise, prayer, eating healthy, reading, etc. It is important to protect this area of your life. 3. Who needs you most right now? Is it littles, a teenager, an elderly parent, or a friend going through a hard season?

ȷustbetweenus spring 2024

These questions can be helpful when considering what to add to your plate. As a “yes” person who believes adding good things can’t be bad, there is a lot of wisdom in discerning what to say “yes” to, to do it well, and be well as you do them.

If the list causes you to pause—but your heart still longs to serve—consider some new ways to reach people beyond your front door in this season:

Prayer. Are you laying the people in your life before God throughout the day? What about our government, the Church, our leaders, broken situations, etc. Prayer changes things. This is a great rhythm to say yes to. Are there things you can do from home? Consider preparing a meal, go through your extra items and donate, or shop online—many ministries have wish lists, or you can send a friend groceries. Send an encouraging note or letter. Getting a handwritten card in the mail warms my heart—it doesn’t have to be long, but getting a note from a friend reminds people they are thought of and loved. Serve as a family. Maybe you are trying to be intentional about family time, so look for opportunities to serve together. Whether it is cleaning, serving a meal, or playing games—you can do good, and spend quality time together too.

“…rest in what He has given you to do today.” Seasons come and go. Each is full of His goodness that includes opportunities to seek what is possible for you when it comes to loving and caring for people outside your front door. My hope and prayer is for you to rest in what He has given you to do today. Don’t get caught up in comparing with what others are doing, or even what you may have done in the past. Be faithful, and receive the grace needed to do what you can in the season you find yourself in.

Ashley N. Thomas is the executive director of Hope Street

ministry in Milwaukee, Wis. She enjoys teaching, writing, learning, and being present with broken people as each discovers the grace that allows us all to be known and loved still. She is a wife, mom to a baby boy (Jedidiah), and fur baby (Belle).

fromsmashtoash.com

You Can Thrive in Ministry! Let Lisa Elliott be your guide as you explore the joys and challenges of being a pastor’s wife. Her real, relatable storytelling along with survival tips will help you thrive not just survive in ministry.

Lisa Elliott is a pastor’s wife of 40 years, gifted speaker, and award winning author. Visit her at lisaelliottstraightfromtheheart.wordpress.com.

Available at local Christian bookstores, Chapters/Indigo, Amazon, and wherever books and ebooks are sold.

What catastrophe will find Penny next? Perfect for the young reader in your life!

Statement of Ownership, Management, and Circulation (Required by 39 U.S.C. 3685) Publication Title: Just Between Us. Publication No: 1069-3459 Filing Date: September 27, 2023. Issue Frequency: Quarterly No. of issues Published Annually: 4. Annual Subscription Price: $20. Complete Mailing Address of Known Office of Publication (Street, City, County, State, and ZIP+4)(Not Printer): 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045. Complete Mailing Address of Headquarters or General Business Office of Publisher (Not Printer): 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045. Full Names and Complete Mailing Addresses of Publisher, Editor, and Managing Editor (Do Not Leave Blank):Mary Perso Publisher (Name and Complete Mailing Address): Just Between Us, 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045. Editor (Name and Complete Mailing Address): Shelly Esser, Editor, 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045. Owner (If owned by a corporation, its name and address must be stated and also immediately thereafter the name and addresses of stockholders owning or holding 1 percent or more of the total amount of stock. If not owned by a corporation, the names and addresses of the individual owners must be given. If owned by a partnership or other unincorporated firm, its name and address as well as that of each individual must be given. If the publication is published by a nonprofit organization, its name and address must be stated.) (Do Not Leave Blank.) Owner: Elmbrook Church, Inc., 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045. Known Bondholders, Mortgagees, and Other Security Holders Owning or Holding 1 Percent or More of Total Amount of Bonds, Mortgages, or Other Securities, If none, so state: None 12. Tax Status (For completion by nonprofit organizations authorized to mail at nonprofit rates) (Check one) Has not changed in the preceding twelve months. Issue Date for Circulation Data Below: Winter 2022-Fall 2023. Extent and Nature of Circulation - Average No. Copies Each Issue During Preceding 12 months: A. Total No. Copies (Net Press Run): 11,013. B. Paid and/or Requested Circulation: (1) Paid or Requested Outside-Country Mail Subscriptions stated on form 3541. (Include Advertiser’s Proof Copies/Exchange Copies): 10,290. (2) Paid InCountry Subscriptions (Include Advertiser’s Proof Copies/Exchange Copies): 0. (3) Sales Through Dealers and Carriers, Street Vendors, and Counter Sales and other Non-USPS:

It’s 1986, and fourth grade is Penny’s year to shine. Nothing can stand in her way—except a disastrous home perm, a humiliating book report, and a very itchy rash. Can the world’s best birthday party launch Penny into popularity, or will vomiting in front of her class torpedo her chances?

Available wherever books are sold online.

Learn more at: lauriepluimer.com

Book 2: Penny, 5th-grader Extraordinaire, Coming Soon!

Paid Distribution:13. (4) Other classes mailed through USPS: 18. C. Total Paid and/or Requested Circulation (Sum of l5b (1,2,3,4): 10,321. D. Free Distribution by Mail (Samples, Complimentary, and Other Free) (1) Outside-Country as Stated on Form 3541: 118. (2) In-Country as Stated on Form 3541: 0. (3) Other Classes Mailed Through USPS: 127. (4) Free or Nominal Rate Distribution Outside the Mail (Carriers or other means): 75. E. Total Free or Nominal Rate Distribution (Sum of 15d (1), (2), (3) and (4): 320. F. Total Distribution (Sum of 15c and 15e): 10,641. G. Copies Not Distributed: 372. H. Total (Sum of 15f and 15g): 11,013. I. Percent Paid and/or Requested Circulation (15c/l5f x 100): 96.99%. Issue Date for Circulation Data Below: Fall 2023. Extent and Nature of Circulation- No. Copies of Single Issue Published No.Copies Single Issue Published Nearest to Filling Date: A.Total No.Copies (Net Press Run): 11,350. B. Paid and/or Requested Circulation: (1) Paid or Requested Outside-County Mail Subscriptions stated on form 3541 (Include Advertiser’s Proof Copies/Exchange Copies): 10,837. (2) Paid In-County Subscriptions (Include Advertiser’s Proof Copies/Exchange Copies): 0 (3) Sales Through Dealers and Carriers, Street Vendors, and Counter Sales and other Non-USPS Paid Distribution: 10. (4) Other classes mailed through USPS: 2. C. Total Paid and/or Requested Circulation (Sum of l5b(1,2,3,4): 10,849. D. Free Distribution by Mail (Samples, Complimentary, and Other Free) (1) Outside-County as Stated on Form 3541: 114. (2) In-County as Stated on Form 3541: 0. (3) Other Classes Mailed Through USPS: 100 (4) Free or Nominal Rate Distribution Outside the Mail (carriers or other means): 69. E. Total Free or Nominal Rate Distribution (Sum of 15d 1,2,3,4): 283. F. Total Distribution (Sum of 15c and 15e): 11,132 G. Copies Not Distributed: 218. H. Total (Sum of 15f and 15g): 11,350. I. Percent Paid and/or Requested Circulation (15c/15f x 100): 97.46%. This Statement of Ownership will be printed in the Spring 2024 issue of this publication. I certify that all information furnished on this form is true and complete. I understand that anyone who furnishes false or misleading information on this form or who omits material or information requested on the form may be subject to criminal sanctions (including fines and imprisonment) and/or civil sanctions (including multiple damages and civil penalties). Mary T. Perso, General Manager Date: 9/27/2023.

LIVING WELL

The Hope That Won’t Disappoint by Gail Goolsby

am afraid to hope for something better after two failed relationships. I just don’t want to be disappointed again.”

“We gave our daughter many chances to turn her life around. Each time she disappointed us and maybe herself. I have lost hope in our efforts to help her.” “I wouldn’t say I was hurt or offended at what happened, maybe just disappointed because I hoped for so much more in this church.” I hear that word disappointment connected to hope from many of my clients. It’s like Christians must not be deeply affected by others’ choices, only slightly annoyed. Some have the assumption that hope leads to disappointment at every turn. But we are human with dreams and expectations. So, what is the right response when these goals are not met? And where does hope fit in?

The Hope Foundation

In the first verses of Romans 5, Paul tells us we are at peace with God through the saving, justifying work of His Son, Jesus. Our foundation is to believe, exercise faith in God’s plan, and promises. Just like the heroes of faith in Hebrews 11, we believe in God. Period. This sets us up for realistic hope. We don’t have control or perhaps even understanding of the how’s, why’s, and when’s, but that is not as crucial as our steadfast faith in God.

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When I moved to Afghanistan, my biggest hope was that I wouldn’t hate it and fail. It is a rough place to live and work for a mature American Christian woman leaving her home, children, friends, career, and freedoms behind. I expected to struggle but hoped I would find a way to work it all out.

When we base our hopes on circumstances, our own diligence, or others’ favor, we are set up for recurring disappointment. And this feeling can root

down deeply, even if we avoid calling it something stronger like anger, offense, hatred, despair, apathy, hard-heartedness.

What To Do with Disappointment

Romans 5 goes on to tell us, “…tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope.” The result of disappointment, tribulation, or any difficult scenario, has possible benefits. We can learn lessons that work for our future success and form a stronger integrity. Deep in our soul, we can become more intimate with our Father, His sovereignty, and divine plan for our lives. With our firm foundation in place, believing in God and the redeeming work of His Son, Jesus, not ourselves, we must still make important choices when disappointed. We must confess our negative feelings, hurts, and anger and ask God to help us with forgiveness. Forgiving others, ourselves, and even God for not doing things as we hoped. We turn our tears and frustration to remembering who God is, what He has already accomplished on our behalf through Christ. We cannot avoid suffering. We look to God and see hope rise amid disappointment, and trust that He is working things out to our good. The stronger our faith, our attachment to God, the less likely our sense of hope will waver or disappear. Trouble and disappointment will come. But the same One who Paul refers to in Romans 5, who helped him through many difficult times, is the same God at work today, for our good. Hope in Him will not disappoint.

Gail Goolsby, MA, MEd, ACC is an author, speaker, ICF certified life coach, and career educator, including serving overseas as detailed in her book, Unveiled Truth: Lessons I Learned Leading the International School of Kabul. She is a mom, grandma, and lives in south central Kansas with her pastor-husband.

gailgoolsby.com

EVERYDAY TRANSFORMATION

Losing Your Sense of Sacrifice by Laura Sandretti

didn’t want to be rude, but I picked up my phone. I wanted to write down what my friend had just said because I didn’t want to forget it. Or so I thought. It was something a missionary doctor told her when she asked him how he endured the extreme poverty and difficult conditions of serving in rural India. His response was profound: “The first paradigm of missions is to lose your sense of sacrifice.”

Surrendering the Costs

I understood and agreed conceptually with what the doctor said. Until we lose a sense of what ministry costs us and the tradeoffs involved in serving others, we will struggle to love and serve as Christ did. I appreciated the beauty and introspection of his comment, until I realized how difficult it was to live out. Author Jill Briscoe once said that the most important mission field is the one between our own two feet. As I thought about losing my sense of service, I realized it wouldn’t be with the women and churches I serve in ministry. I’m also invited to abandon feeling like a martyr, intentionally and prayerfully, in my parenting, marriage, and with strangers. As I began to watch this inspiring quote intersect with my day-to-day life, I began to regret ever hearing it. Mowing the lawn for my husband when I have a million other things to get done is challenging. Doing it without complaining out loud or in my heart is even harder. It is difficult to drop everything and run an errand for a family member without feeling irritated and resentful. And being kind to the person who cut me off in traffic without sighing or rolling my eyes goes against everything in me.

Serving with Joy

How do we lose our sense of sacrifice with the people we serve and things we do every day? How do we minister selflessly on the mission field between our own two feet?

One way I’m learning is to pay attention to when I hold on to my sense of sacrifice. If I’m irritated when I’m not thanked or keep a mental tally of when I’m helping, and others aren’t—those may be signs that I’m operating out of a sense of obligation, guilt, or even pride in my service, rather than out of a spirit of joy and gratitude for Christ’s love and generosity to me. Another way to lose our sense of sacrifice in the mission field of our homes and relationships is to ask for the Lord’s help. Earnestly asking the Father to help us be thankful when caring for an aging parent or changing another diaper, helps us orient our hearts and minds to the power of the Holy Spirit in us. When I lack joy in serving others my tendency is to beat myself up and try harder. However, when we serve out of our own power instead of relying on the Lord’s help, our efforts will almost always feel self-sacrificial.

Loving with Christ’s Love

Lastly, the most important way to intentionally lose our sense of sacrifice is to cultivate ways to feel Christ’s love. Do you feel a tangible closeness to the Lord when you go on a walk or listen to worship music? Do you feel His love and trust Him more when you spend time in His Word? Often, we think serving more or memorizing Scripture about being less selfish will help us lose our sense of sacrifice. Instead of reading about God’s love or trying harder to serve selflessly, practice experiencing Christ’s deep care and affection for us. Our sense of sacrifice will turn into an overflow and offering of love to our Father, and the people around us that He loves so deeply.

conference and retreat speaker. She is a former high school teacher who uses humor and real-life examples to challenge women to think more deeply about what they believe about God, the Bible, and themselves because of the cross of Christ. Laura has four adult children, has been married for 30 years, and prays daily for grandchildren.

laurasandretti.com G facebook.com/laurasandrettiblog Ö twitter.com/laurasandrettiblog

ȷustbetweenus spring 2024

Laura Sandretti, MATS, is an author, faith coach, and active

BETWEEN FRIENDS

Intentional Reflections

by Shelly Esser

t’s hard to believe we’ve just said goodbye to another year and hello to a new one. For some of us, it’s “good riddance” so we welcome the new year with open arms. For others of us, we’re sad to leave the year behind because life-defining moments and memories made it a year that we don’t want to forget—a baby or grandbaby was born, we got a new job, we finally went on a dream vacation, a new person walked into our life—things that we will always cherish. It’s always good to make some intentional space to reflect on the year behind us. To reflect simply means to “think deeply or carefully about.” And I would add to do so with intentional prayerfulness. Ask God to show you where you’ve grown and what new things you’ve discovered about Him. Ask Him to show you those areas that are still in need of growth. “…being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Phil. 1:6). Reflection helps us trace God’s faithfulness and see things that we might have missed.

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Have you ever thought about how the words, “New Year’s Resolutions” can be negative? For some reason, it can imply that everything in the past year was less than and needs changing. While there were some negatives last year, there were also many positives. Maybe for the first time you prayed out loud in a small group or became regular in your time with God. God is saying, “You go, girl. I loved seeing your open heart and readiness to step out in faith.” Or maybe you built time in your schedule to regularly care for yourself and just have some much-needed fun. Those things should be carried into the new year so God can continue to grow them in your life.

There will always be those things that we don’t want to carry into the new year, that may even need a proper burial from the year before. Things like bad attitudes or relationship conflicts that need to be

resolved, or bitterness to be let go of. Or maybe you neglected God’s Word too many days to count. You want to make changes so next year you can look back and say, “I met with God more frequently than I ever have; look what God did as a result of my small step of faith.” Why don’t you make an intentional date with the Lord over the next few weeks to reflect on the past year so you can move into the new one? • Spend Time Journaling. Where did you see the most growth spiritually? What opportunities did you miss? What were your priorities? What do you want to be different in the new year? • Make a Gratitude List. Thank God for all He’s done in your life this past year. Where did He show up unexpectedly? What prayers were answered? How did He bring you through hardships? What friends blessed you? There are definitely things I don’t want to take into the new year, so I’m praying God will help me work on those areas and leave them in the past. Thankfully, we have a God of new beginnings—a God who doesn’t define us by our past mistakes and missed opportunities. His mercies are new every morning (Lam. 3:23), and He always stands ready to help us begin again and shower us with new mercies. Grab your favorite throw and a cup of your hot drink of choice and snuggle up somewhere quiet to reflect on all God did in your life this past year. Intentionally ask Him what to keep and what to change, so He can continue doing the great things in your life that He has planned for you. Great is His faithfulness!

Shelly Esser has been the editor of Just Between Us for over

30 years. Additionally, she has been involved with leading and nurturing women in Christ since college. She and her husband have four adult daughters, two sons-in-law, a grandson, and live in Menomonee Falls, Wis.

Jesus’ Resurrection T H E STO RY T H AT R E W R I T E S YO U R STO RY

Celebrate Jesus’ resurrection with 40 thoughtful meditations, each centered on a single word to focus your spirit on Lent and Easter. Bible verses and uplifting prayers will quiet your heart as you celebrate the greatest miracle of all time—a risen Savior, who brings with Him hope, promise, and everlasting life.

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