Family Times - Dunedin - Spring 2015

Overweight but under nourished.

Read more on page 8

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The art of follow through The benefits of positive,

enforceable statements

6

Help – I hate my teacher!

How to manage child-teacher

clashes

New Zealand's leading parenting resource

8

Win Win Win

Competitions, giveaways and kids’ games

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Birthdays

Great theme ideas and

delicious party treats Win with Us on Facebook

ISSN 2324-4526 (Print) ISSN 2324-4534 (Online)

DUNEDIN / ISSUE 65 / Spring 2015

CHINESE MOON FESTIVAL

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Monday 28 September – Friday 2 October | Toitū Otago Settlers Museum | Josephine Foyer 10am – 11am: stream ages 7 – 9 years | 12noon – 1pm: stream ages 10 – 12 years $40 for five sessions. Limited spaces. Bookings required at toituosm@dcc.govt.nz or (03) 477 5052 31 Queens Gardens, Dunedin | www.toituosm.com

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inside this issue

From the editor Contents I don’t know about you, but to me it’s seemed like a long, cold winter in New Zealand this year.

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W

e’re not yet quite ready to get rid of our scarves and gloves here in Christchurch, but there is a feeling of spring to the air with hints of blossom and daffodils starting to show.

Cold though it’s been, undoubtedly one of the highlights of my winter was attending the Baby & Child show in July. Members of our Family Times team braved the wintery weekend blast and set up a booth in the warm confines of Pioneer Stadium in order to have a chat with our readers (and potential readers) about this magazine that we are so passionate about.

It was a complete privilege to meet so many mums, dads and kids that love Family Times, and to hear your thoughts, ideas and comments about what we do and how we could do it better. You let us have cuddles with your babies, talk shop about parenting and put a face to the multitude of readers who help make Family Times a success. So thank-you for coming to talk with us!

One of the things that became very clear to us is that our readers would like to access more of our content online, as well as in print.

We’ve been working hard at streamlining our online content, and encourage you to visit us at www.familytimes.co.nz for the latest in parenting articles, recipes, competitions, family entertainment ideas and events that are specific to your area, and much more.

Also, check us out on Facebook and become

a part of our fast growing, interactive online parenting forum with lots of up-to-themoment parenting info.

Getting back to the issue at hand, we’ve got plenty to keep the pages turning. In our main feature article we look at the art of follow through. Almost every parent is guilty at some stage of threatening an unrealistic punishment to their children in moments of frustration.

But experts say there could be a better, more effective and less stressful way to encourage obedience and avoid a battle of wills at the same time. Interested? We were too! Read more on page six. Of course we’ve got plenty of other parenting features, birthday theme ideas, competitions, giveaways, family entertainment ideas and much more.

Enjoy!

Features

14 Words of Wisdom

4 The art of follow through

How to choose statements that you can enforce.

16 Birthdays

How to positively resolve child-teacher conflict.

Comment

What your kids should and shouldn’t know

6 Help – I hate my teacher

7 Family budget

12 Game on

Tim Driver talks the hottest new kids’ board games.

13 Recycled container veggie garden

Parenting expert Diane Levy answers your parenting questions.

A step-by-step guide to build your own.

New theme ideas and delicious party recipes.

8 Kids’ corner

Competitions, games and reviews.

Resource information 10 11 11 14

Calendar of events Entertainment School Term Dates Help is at Hand

6 14

About Us Publisher Robyn Willis Design & Production Moody Shokry Advert Production Target Press Production Office Editor Vanessa O’Brien Contributing writers Advice Diane Levy Food Anna Bordignon, from Munch Cooking

Games Tim Driver from Comics Compulsion Container Gardening Tom Boyle Digital Manager Kate Gorman Media Executives Amie Palmer, Sonia McManus, Alice Andersen, Nicky Barnett, Olwyn Knowler.

Office Manager Raelyn Hay Executive Assistant Jackie Pithie

Reach us at: Family Publishers (NZ) P.O. Box 36-004 Christchurch 8146 Ph 03 355 9186 Freephone 0800 285 510 Mobile 0274 359 414 admin@familytimes.co.nz www.familytimes.co.nz Distribution Printed and distributed quarterly approximately two weeks before each major school holiday. 12,566 are circulated through early childhood centres, primary and intermediate schools, The Dunedin City Event Shop, selected medical and midwifery premises and McDonalds Restaurants.

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feature story

Discipline - the art of follow-through “If you don’t do the dishes right now, you can forget about pocket money for the rest of the year.”

Many parents throw out these kinds of broad statements in moments of sheer frustration, in the hope that the threatened punitive action will somehow kick-start their rebellious child into compliance. But often the resulting battle of wills ends with no winners, because kids are smarter at playing this game than adults realise.

A lot smarter, according to The Parenting Place creative producer John Cowan.

“Your kids know that you will never carry it out, so it is useless as a penalty. Just go for as few rules as you can live with, but make sure you enforce them consistently. Never make a rule you wouldn’t get out of the shower to enforce.”

If you follow through with your child nine times out of 10, you didn’t win nine rounds, experts say. You lost 10 rounds, because now your child knows that this is a game they can win, and how to wear you down.

So the age-old question remains: how can you get your kids to obey you?

– including our kids – will do. And we look very silly when we can’t get our kids to do what we say. What enforceable statements do is take the onus off the parent and put it onto the child, by having the parent say what they will allow.

“If your rules are fair, and you are fair, you won’t mind talking about them.”

For example:

 I give treats to kids who protect their teeth by brushing.

 Breakfast is served until 7:30. Get all you need to hold you till lunch.

 My car is leaving at 8am.  I’ll listen as soon as your voice is as calm

as mine.

Therefore, kids essentially get to choose how they behave, and the results of their choices are their responsibility. If they don’t get up in time for breakfast, they will go hungry until lunch. If they’re not ready by 8am, they will have to find their own way to school. They can’t blame you for being the mean parent – they made a choice, and they bear the consequences.

What enforceable statements also do is make the child feel like they have a choice and it’s Enforceable statements not a dictatorship. After all, nobody likes The Love and Logic philosophy founded by Jim Fay and Foster W. Cline, M.D, argues that being told what to do or being controlled.

However, Cowan says enforceable statements parenting is a lot more fun and rewarding – instead of stressful and chaotic – if parents use are not infallible.

“I like the intention behind enforceable enforceable statements rather than threats. statements, and they are fine in maintaining It’s based on the principle that if we’re really honest, we can’t control what another person good order with kids who are pretty

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compliant anyway. The problem would be when kids do not comply. Looking at the breakfast example, I can imagine kids who would be happy to score a victory over you by saying, “Okay” and then not have breakfast.

They know that you are more concerned about their nutrition than they are! Similarly, “My car is leaving at 8am.” What are you going to do when you get to your child’s music lessons without your child? Yes, I like enforceable statements, but they do have to be tuned into the personality of your child.”

Enforceable statements: 1 Aim to word all they say in positive

ways even when the situation might

typically be considered negative.

Provide choices without any sense of coercion. Coercion often leads to resistance, while less pressure will often lead to cooperative solutions.

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Calm discipline

What enforceable statements also do is to set limits on children’s behaviour by providing stability and security in the form of consequences.

Consequences, says Cowan, are not what you do to your children, but rather what they automatically bring upon themselves if they do certain things. And that’s what separates

feature story consequences from threats.

“Maybe it is a difference in degree. I am thinking it is the difference between a high voltage electric fence and a hand-rail on a balcony. Threats are intended to create a sense of fear whereas the knowledge that an action (or inaction) will result in a consequence shouldn’t frighten a child. Also, a threat is a person-to-person thing whereas a consequence is an impersonal, automatic thing. It is not you-versus-your-child, it is more your child-versus-the-rule.”

Consequences don’t need to be harsh penalties, but they do need to be rock solid.

They can be natural or logical – i.e. if your child breaks a toy, the natural consequence is that they don’t get to play with that toy anymore. A logical consequence if they carelessly break a toy is that they don’t get to play with any more toys until tomorrow.

Children learn the results of poor choices when consequences are consistent. And, as Cowan says, it can help parents learn not to discipline in anger.

“My anger never seems to work – anger never delivers the results I want it to. Very seldom, after telling my kids off, do they come back to me and say, “Thank you for that telling off, Dad. That’s just what we needed to correct us and set us back on to the straight path.” If I use anger in my voice, then it doesn’t matter how right I am and how wrong they are, they won’t be getting the point.”

A collaborative approach

It can take a lot of work to relearn the parenting habits of a lifetime. The way that your parents disciplined you likely impacts on your parenting style too, and your own natural reactions can be tough to tame.

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seem to agree on is that the old “dictatorial” method seldom works. In fact, Cowan says that rules without reason lead to rebellion.

So the old adage “Because I said so,” doesn’t really fly with kids today.

A more collaborative and reasonable approach to discipline is effective though, according to Cowan. “As kids become capable of understanding them, we should give the reasons for the limits we set for them – they are to keep them safe, or to keep harmony in the home.”

Cowan advocates that rules should be negotiable as kids move into the schoolage years. If your rules are fair, and you are fair, you won’t mind talking about them.

If your child can articulate a good case for changing a rule, your willingness to listen and be flexible isn’t a sign of weakness or lost authority, but of strength and confidence as a parent.

“Consequences don’t need to be harsh penalties, but they do need to be rock solid.”

Discipline in context

The most important thing to remember, says Cowan, is that good, healthy discipline comes from a place of a loving relationship between parent and child.

“Discipline is everything you do as a parent, not just those interactions you have when your children are misbehaving. For discipline to actually be a loving, constructive thing, without shouting, force or fluster, then we need to build a whole scaffold of parenting practices because good discipline only really works in a context of loving relationship.”

Tips on enforceable statements

1 Make them very measurable and clear For example, “I pay $1 a bag for leaves put into rubbish bags to my satisfaction.”

2 Only give options you’re willing to live with Don’t say, “I’ll feed you tomorrow if you finish your supper tonight.” Both you and your child know you won’t follow through with this threat.

3 Positive statements and rewards, not threats For example, “I read bedtime stories to kids who treat me with kindness during the day.” Compare the tone of that to, “I’m not reading to you because you were so rude to me earlier.”

4 Be gutsy As a parent, you need to be willing and courageous enough to actually enforce what you say. If a parent says, “We will stay here at the playground as long as you exhibit a pleasant attitude,” then the parent must be willing to actually leave a minute later and head home with screaming child in tow. Think longterm: consistency in your enforcement

will make them think twice before disobeying the next time.

5 No empty threats If you make an empty threat that you don’t intend to enforce, the child will quickly figure that out — and leave you helpless forever! Most of us have seen a parent say to their child in the middle of the mall, “Come over here right now or I’m going to leave without you.” This is a statement the parent has no intention of enforcing. Not only does this undermine the parent’s authority, it also undermines a young child’s basic trust and security.

6 Prepare in advance For many parents, using enforceable statements is a complete change of mindset, and it’s easy to revert to established patterns in moments of frustration. It’s much easier to combat this if you prepare statements for common scenarios in advance. When you come across a situation that’s new, take a moment to breathe and consider your response before speaking.

How do you manage discipline in your family?

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5

Help - my child hates his teacher!

Your child is with his teacher six hours a day for 10-months of the year, so it’s important not to underestimate the impact of a child-teacher conflict.

hurting your child, all of your parental intuition kicks in. It can be very difficult to control your own feelings when you believe that someone is being mean to your child. Just remember – as much as you love your child, at this stage you have only heard half of the story. Being defensive can make you shut off to hearing the other side and may actually make things worse for your child. Keep an open mind at this point because as a parent, it may not be easy to tell when your child is just venting or when there are legitimate issues that need addressing.

I

n fact, a negative child-teacher relationship can stunt your child’s education and even impact on their future thirst for learning. But a child-teacher conflict can also be a great tool to teach your child about managing relationships and coming up with positive solutions.

“A child-teacher conflict can be a great tool to teach your child about managing relationships...”

Here are some tips on what to do when your child hates his teacher:

1 Take it seriously

What may seem like a small thing to you can seem like an insurmountable obstacle to your child. It’s tempting to tell your child that everything will be better tomorrow and brush off the incident that is worrying them, but you run the risk of making them think that their feelings aren’t important to you. They may not confide in you the next time.

4 Check the facts

2 Listen

Ask open-ended questions to figure out what is really going on. Maybe the teacher raised their voice to them – what happened before they yelled? Does the teacher yell at everyone, or just your child? It can take a while for your child to adjust to a new teacher’s ways of doing things, and they may not realise the part they played in the situation.

3 Don’t act in anger

When something – or someone – is

Kids speak in hyperbole and also in code.

To get beyond the confusion, parents need to get to the hard facts and probe the specific sources of the complaint.

If your child says that his teacher gives him too much homework, check the workload yourself: How much does the teacher assign? Look at your child’s assignments and class notes and see exactly what he has to do each night.

If your child says that the teacher is too strict, check the rules yourself. Evaluate whether or not the rules sound severe to you and ask your child how the teacher enforces them.

5 Talk to the teacher

Now that you’re calm and you’ve checked the facts, open a conversation with the teacher casually; perhaps when you

collect your child from school. Generally, effective educators value constructive feedback from parents and welcome the chance to speak to you about your child.

It’s a good idea to speak one-on-one with the teacher about your concerns first, and to reach an understanding with them about the situation. Then bring in your child so that they feel confident that the situation is being resolved without fear of a backlash.

It could be as simple as a personality clash. Overly regimental teachers often clash with highly active kids who struggle to remain attentive, and children who are highly structured may find it challenging with a teacher who goes with the flow.

Some kids need more encouragement and some need a greater challenge.

Opening that conversation with the teacher, and involving your child in the conversation, may help to bridge the gap.

6 Removing your child is a last resort

Watching your child go through a tough time can bring out your protective instincts and may even make you want to remove your child from the classroom.

This should be an absolute last resort saved for cases when you fear that safety is an issue or that there is ongoing prejudice. Rescuing children from a difficult situation can teach them that if they don’t like the person in authority, they don’t have to stick it out.

We’ve got education covered Our latest articles include Reengaging Kids in Maths and The Cost of a Free Education. Just search the titles at www.familytimes.co.nz.

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Family budget – what your kids should know There’s a meme doing the social understanding of what it takes to pay for your 3 How much food costs in style of living, as well as what it would take for your home media rounds that says, “My you to have a higher or lower cost of living.

Take the kids with you on a grocery shop greatest childhood memory is 1

How much you pay for so that they can see how much things cost not paying bills.” where you live on average per week. ost adults can relate to that. But on the The cost of your home is typically the 4 How much you spend in other hand, experts say ignorance isn’t largest chunk out of your budget.

Letting general on vacations, holinecessarily bliss when it comes to the family your kids know how much it costs you days, and birthdays. budget. In fact, protecting your kids from your

M

can help them to appreciate it more and look after it better. Let them know it is a shared investment for your family and that each family member is responsible for looking after it.

financial ups and downs does little to prepare them for the future.

There’s a lot to be gained by your children seeing your struggle and effort to organise your home finances. These are real things, and real issues that kids need to experience in order to become more sensitive to how money is spent, what things cost, and that money doesn’t grow on trees.

That’s not to say that you want your kids to take on an undue sense of responsibility or to worry about where you are going to live.

But including them on the basic workings of your budget can prepare them for the future so that they don’t flounder when they start getting a pay cheque of their own.

Of course, it’s all age related: a budget conversation with a 5-year-old is going to be very different than that with a 10-yearold; the first being very generalised and the latter more specific. But by the time they are teenagers, they should have a pretty clear

“There’s a lot to be gained by your children seeing your struggle and effort to organise your home finances.”

Kids are chronic for leaving on heaters, lights and appliances, without any consideration for how much electricity costs.

That’s because they don’t usually know how much electricity costs.

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A good family budget takes into consideration that “extras” pop up on a regular basis. Letting your kids know how much it costs you and how much you have to budget each week to make it happen, can help quell any sense of entitlement and encourage appreciation.

5 How much you save and why

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One of the greatest things that you can teach your kids is how to save, and to watch those savings grow. Make a family savings goal – i.e. maybe to buy a new television – and work together as a family to achieve it. Forgo little extras and put that money into your savings, and encourage your kids to put a part of their pocket money into it too.

6 How much you make gross and net, and what you pay in tax

what your taxes pay for.

Other things to talk with your kids about include the costs of entertainment, transportation, insurance, clothing, and extra-curricular activities.

Kids are great visual learners, so consider putting your family budget into a pie graph so that they can see which necessities make up the biggest chunk. Then break it down into their world: If they receive a weekly allowance, carve it up into the same percentages on the pie chart, i.e. if they receive $10 a week, perhaps $3 - $4 of that would go on housing, and $1 on food.

Happy budgeting!

Nothing is surer in life than death and taxes – so teach your kids about how much of your money goes on tax, and

Want more feature articles on family finance? Search “finance” on www.familytimes.co.nz.

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Free your family from the sugar addiction!

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The fact is that sugar is an addiction. The maximum recommended daily intake of sugar is six teaspoons per day: the average Kiwi consumes more than 29 teaspoons. Sugar has no nutritional value – the body doesn’t need it. Eating too much sugar is seriously bad for us, leading to a multitude of health problems like obesity, diabetes and tooth decay.

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Turning off the desire for sugar-rich foods can be tricky, but we can change our palates and reduce the cravings by eating less of it. Sugar is hidden in all sorts of foods, some more obvious than others – donuts, cereals, cereal bars, yoghurt, soft drinks, sweets and sauces.

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Welcome to Kids’ Time at Family Times. Enjoy the fun activities and competitions. For competitions, enter online by visiting www.familytimes.co.nz and click on the competitions link.

Kids' Spot The Difference SHARK HU NT

Sugar is known by some as “the new tobacco,” with calls from some health professionals for sugar to be treated by the government like alcohol and tobacco.

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KIDS' TIME

Desig n com petition This issue we would love you to draw what spring means to you - maybe it’s spring flowers or baby animals. Then tell us all about it. Send us your picture (either via post or email) and you will be in to win a wonderful Crayola prize pack for creative kiwi kids.

There are three entry age groups: 1-4, 5-8, and 9-12. Don’t forget to write your name, age, description and postal address (so we can send you your prize if you win!) Post to PO Box 36 004 Christchurch 8146 or email jackie@familytimes.co.nz.Entries close 7 October 2015. A huge congratulations to the winners of our last issue’s design competition.

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Imagination’s Secrets by Anaiyah WilliamsAnesi (12) “I have drawn you my favourite winter scene from my favourite place, also known as my “imagination.””

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Your meals are served with a genuine smile in generous portions. There are now 26 Lone Stars throughout New Zealand so there’s bound to be one near you.

Lone Star is giving our readers the opportunity to win one of five $50 vouchers. Enter online at www.familytimes.co.nz. Competition closes 7 October 2015.

Sweet Scoop Introducing Sweet Scoop – the hottest new sweet station to hit supermarket shelves, delivering an unforgettable sweet experience that will take you back to yesteryear!

Sweet Scoop gives you the power to pick and choose which sweets you like – pick a little or a lot, the choice is completely yours.

You can find Sweet Scoop in leading New World and Pak’N’Save supermarkets nationwide. For more information visit Sweet Scoop on Facebook.

We have 10 prize packs to be won, and each contains $50 of sweets! To enter to win visit www.familytimes.co.nz.

Competition closes 7 October 2015.

Crossword ACROSS 1. Wooden dolls with strings on their arms and legs 4. Type of hat, baseball ...

6. Saying, ‘... a silly question, get a silly answer’ 8. Rhyming sentence, ‘the cat sat on the ...’

9. Building where a family lives 11. Opposite of old 13. Bright points of light in the night sky 16. Rome is the capital of this country 18. Soup can 19. Bath or pool that has heated bubbly water 20. This clips an item to a clothesline 21. Sport with the positions Wing Attack and Goal Shooter

DOWN

Word List

2. Head of the government, ... Minister 3. Containing nothing 5. In the past, a long time ...

7. Our star 10. Knight’s title 12. In and ...

14. Pointed end of a pen 15. Begin 16. The Taj Mahal and Ganges River are in this country 17. When you’re sleepy you might ... down for a nap

AGO ASK CAP EMPTY HOUSE INDIA ITALY LIE MAT NETBALL OUT PEG

PRIME PUPPETS SIR SPA STARS START SUN TIN TIP YOUNG

Ma z e KM059_MouseCheese_PUZ.pdf

1

24/10/2014

11:47:42 AM

Kids' Maze Help the mouse find her way to the cheese. © Lovatts Puzzles To purchase more puzzles visit our website www.lovattspuzzles. com

win win win Paper Planes Paper Planes is a magical new film from writer/director Robert Connolly.

Twelve-year-old Dylan lives with his father in the West Australian outback.

One day at school Dylan discovers he is extremely good at making and flying paper planes. While attempting to refine and develop his newly realised ability, Dylan finds himself caught up in the world of competitive paper-plane making, leading to new friendships, new rivalries and new revelations about his own family.

Family Times has 15 copies of this new release DVD to give away. To enter visit www.familytimes.co.nz. Competition closes 7 October 2015.

ADMISSION

win win win A montrous taste sensation!

Pow! A new range of delicious and nutritious bite-sized rice cakes add an almighty flavour punch to the snack aisles this September.

Gluten free and containing no artificial colours, SunRice Mini Bites are available in three flavours: Creepy Cheese, Devilish Chicken and Scary Salt & Vinegar.

To celebrate the arrival of the SunRice Mini Bites range in selected supermarkets nationwide, we have the full range of SunRice Mini Bites to give away along with a Mini Monster school bag and lunchbox and a magnetic Mini Monster photo frame for your best monster pose, valued at more than $120. We have four packs to give away! To enter visit www. familytimes.co.nz. Competition closes 7 October 2015.

$10

CHILDREN

FREE

VICTORIAN

FETE IN OAMARU’S VICTORIAN PRECINCT

SUNDAY 15 NOV 2015 FROM 10AM UNTIL 4PM

FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT: WWW.VICTORIANOAMARU.CO.NZ

www.familytimes.co.nz

9

cool activities

Calendar of Events It’s time to put away the winter 20 September Sunday. Jason Ross and Rory woollies and get excited about Spring Series Harding will speak about heritage fruit and all that the new season has vegetable varieties and unusual things to grow. From 2pm-3pm, Toitu Otago Settlers to offer. For more event and Museum, 31 Queens Garden. entertainment ideas, visit www. Visit www.toituosm.com. familytimes.co.nz and enjoy our 20 September large, family-friendly resource. Walk 2 D’Feet MND. This is a fundraising initiative to raise funds and awareness for 16 September the Motor Neurone Disease Association of The Life Story Recording Process. Join Naomi Miller from Water Under the Bridge Publications to learn about her process of recording and publishing life stories. At Toitu Otago Settlers Museum, details at www.toituosm.com.

17 – 26 September

Phantom of the Opera. Musical Theatre Dunedin presents Phantom of the Opera at the Regent Theatre. Various session times. Visit www.musicaltheatredunedin.org.nz for details.

19 - 20 September

Women/girls free self-defence workshop.

S.A.F.E self-defence workshops are a friendly, educational environment, in which instructors utilise as much time as possible demonstrating and practising. From 10am4pm. Email info@selfdefencecourses.co.nz.

19 September

Music Saturdays. Live performances; come along and support some awesome musicians.

From 2-3pm, Toitu Otago Settlers Museum, 31 Queens Garden. Visit www.toituosm.com.

19 September

The Vintage Roundup. Dunedin’s favourite vintage clothing shops, online stores, crafters and collectors all under one roof! From 11am3pm, Burns Hall, 415 Moray Place.

Visit www.thevintageroundup.co.nz.

20 September

Kotahitanga Manaaki Te Kawa - World Peace Day. Food stalls, a Womad-inspired programme of live music, dance, children’s activities, great coffee, visual art, poetry, speakers, workshops and stalls for all. From 11am-8pm, Forsyth Barr Stadium.

Visit & Experience

Parliament

Take a free tour with a professional tour guide who will show you the historic buildings, stunning art collection and talk you through the parliamentary process.

Parliament Tours run daily, private and art focused tours for groups are run on request and need to be booked in advance.

For bookings and tour information: P: 04 817 9503 E: tour.desk@parliament.govt.nz www.parliament.nz

10

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NZ (MND NZ). From 10am, Ravensbourne Cycleway.

27 September

Spring Fair. Children’s pre-loved clothing, bake sale, raffles, tombola, kids’ games, face painting, bouncy castle, sausage sizzle and heaps more. Come have a fun day. From 11am-1pm, Parents’ Centre Dunedin, 155 Kenmure Road.

29 September – 1 October

Kids’ school holiday cooking class. Bring your kids to Art of Cuisine’s hands-on cooking class, 10am-1pm, for kids aged 8 to 13-years.

Kids will eat what they have cooked for lunch.

Phone 03-425-9272 or email enquiries@artofcuisine.co.nz for more information and bookings.

6 October

Otago Harbour Navigation. Grab a compass, plot the bays and unlock the treasures of Toitu’s newest exhibition Otago Harbour: Life on the Edge. Cost $10 per

The Science Roadshow. 9 November. An opportunity to explore various science and technology concepts by touch and feel. Visit www.scienceroadshow.co.nz. child. Bookings required at toituosm@dcc. govt.nz or phone 03-477-5052.

10 October

Vogel Street Party. A family-friendly carnival atmosphere showcasing Dunedin’s talented artistic and literary communities.

This year’s event will focus on literature and light as themes. From 3-10pm. Visit on Facebook: vogelstreetparty.

24 October – 26 October

A Gypsy Extravaganza. A Gypsy Extravaganza will be open Saturday, Sunday and Monday for your entertainment.

Best of all, entry is free! At The Oval, Princes Street, 9am-5pm. Enquiries to gypsyextravaganza@gmail.com.

7 November

Nappy Lady Workshop. Get lots of ideas for minimising waste at home, especially with a baby, including modern cloth nappy options.

From 11.30am-2pm, Dunedin City Library.

Contact thenappylady@me.com for details.

7 November

Dunedin Craft Beer and Food Festival.

Celebrate the start of summer with the best brews and food from around the country at the Dunedin Craft Beer & Food Festival!

From 12 – 7pm, Forsyth Barr Stadium.

Visit www.dunedinbeerfest.co.nz.

20 November

Snow White and the 3 ½ Dwarfs. The Operatunity famous and infamous panto puts a smile on the face with a slightly twisted story of Snow White. Mosgiel Coronation Hall, Mosgiel. From 11am-1pm.

Visit daytimeconcerts.co.nz.

21 November - 22 November

Horizon Events Christmas Craft Show.

One-hundred craftspeople and sellers of unique, fun and interesting products get together at the Edgar Centre, 116 Portsmouth Drive from 10am. Phone 03454-4280 for more details.

26 November

Swan Lake. The Imperial Russian Ballet Company return to New Zealand with Swan Lake - the most loved classical ballet of them all. Regent Theatre, The Octagon, 8pm.

Visit www.russianballet.co.nz.

29 November

Fête Dunedin. With more than 100 amazing stalls, live entertainment and food demonstrations, fête Dunedin is the perfect way to spend a summer Sunday. Wingatui Racecourse, Gladstone Road North, Mosgiel, 10am – 4pm. Visit www.fetedunedin.co.nz.

Family fun for all at Wal’s Plant Land Enjoy a world class 18 hole mini golf course, driving range and mini trains at Wal’s Plant Land, plus there’s more than 5000 plants available, bulk supplies, pots, giftware and local fresh produce at Wal’s Vege Land. The Topiary Café is onsite in this unique idyl-

lic setting: something for all the family to enjoy. Barbecue function area and marquee available for hire. Only 15 minutes from Dunedin city centre, 109 Bush Road, Mosgiel. Phone 03-484-7319, www.walsplantland.co.nz.

cool activities

Entertainment Spring is here, and it’s a great time to get out and explore the plethora of exciting events and entertainment destinations around the city. Here are a few ideas to get you started, and we’ve got heaps more at www.familytimes.co.nz.

Rialto Cinemas Bring the kids to Rialto Cinemas this spring school holidays to see new arcade flick Pixels, The Blinky Bill movie and new Peter Pan adaptation, Pan.

Royal Albatross Centre

The only place in the world to see Albatross on the “Mainland” is at the tip of Dunedin’s Otago Peninsula.

Wal’s Plant Land

Enjoy a mini golf course, driving range and mini trains at Wal’s Plant Land, plus giftware, pots

and plants, local fresh produce, Topiary Café, barbecue function area, and marquee. Phone 03-484-7319, www.walsplantland.co.nz.

Holiday specials

Here are some great holiday ideas designed to keep you and your little ones entertained during the school break.

Playhouse Theatre Albany Street

Come and see Alice through the Looking Glass, on 26 September – 4 October, 11am and 2pm daily. For bookings, phone 03-477-6544.

Chipmunks

Join us for school holiday fun at Chipmunks Dunedin. We are offering school holiday programmes for children aged between 5 to 11-years-old. Contact Dunedin@chipmunks. co.nz to start planning a fantastic school holiday!

M*A*S*H

Subscribe to our e-newsletter

Dunedin central - WINZ subsidy available “The best fun your kids can have.” Phone 0800-420-520, admin@mashkids.co.nz, www.mashkids.co.nz. Enrol for our exciting October programme!

Get into the action at Megazone.

2015/2016 primary and intermediate school term dates

SCHOOL TERM DATES

Term 4, 2015

Monday 12 October to no later than Friday 18 December

Term 1, 2016

Between Monday 1 February and Friday 5 February to Friday 15 April

2015 and 2016 secondary and composite school term dates Term 4, 2015

Monday 12 October to no later than Wednesday 16 December

Term 1, 2016

Between Monday 1 February and Friday 5 February to Friday 15 April

Term 2, 2016

Monday 2 May to Friday 8 July

Term 2, 2016

Term 3, 2016

Term 3, 2016

Remaining public holidays 2015

Monday 25 July to Friday 23 September

Monday 2 May to Friday 8 July Monday 25 July to Friday 23 September

26 October 25 December 26 December

Labour Day Christmas Day Boxing Day

M*A*S*H My After School Headquarters, or M*A*S*H as it is known, is one of the largest providers of out-of-school-programmes in Canterbury.

With programmes in Pegasus, two in Timaru, Temuka, Dunedin and seven in Christchurch, there is bound to be a M*A*S*H programme near you.

M*A*S*H prides itself on providing professional, semi-structured programmes in a safe, welcoming, inclusive and nurturing environment with well-planned activities and plenty of opportunities for supervised free play.

After school programmes run from the end of the school day until 6pm Monday – Friday and holiday programmes run from 7am – 6pm depending on the location. All M*A*S*H programmes are WINZ, CYFs and OSCAR approved, which enables caregivers to access the WINZ subsidy.

For more information and a list of locations check out www.mashkids.co.nz or call M*A*S*H on 0800-420-520; they’d love to talk to you.

M*A*S*H – “The best fun your kids can have.”

DISCOVER THE

OTAGO MUSEUM

Open daily, 10am–5pm 419 Great King Street, Dunedin PH 03 474 7474 www.otagomuseum.nz

www.familytimes.co.nz

11

Game On Tim Driver from Comics Compulsion tips off Family Times on the latest and greatest kids’ board games.

I

n today’s electronic world, it’s always a challenge to have some quality time with your children away from the gaming and television screen.

One of the best ways to have some fun with your kids is with board games: not just the ordinary games that we have grown up with, but great family strategy games.

Today there are a huge amount of American and European board games available - many of them winners of the major international game awards. These games feature fascinating and engaging game play, high quality components and some truly stunning artwork. They are strategic, educational, and fun to play.

Here are a few of the latest and greatest out:

walls and destroy the precious castle towers.

Castle Panic is a cooperative, light strategy game for 1-6 players aged 10 and up. Players must work together to defend their castle, in the centre of the board, from monsters that attack out of the forest, at the edges of the board.

Players trade cards, hit and slay monsters, and plan strategies together to keep their castle towers intact. The players either win or lose together, but only the player with the most victory points is declared the Master Slayer.

Players must balance the survival of the group with their own desire to win.

Love Letter: Batman Edition This is a game of risk, deduction, and luck for 2-4 players. Earn Batman tokens by eliminating opponents and winning each round. It’s a new spin on the original Love Letter, designed by Seiji Kanai. The game features incredibly simple rules that create dynamic and exciting player interactions. In the Batman version, you have to take back the streets of Gotham City! The most notorious villains in Gotham City have escaped Arkham Asylum and it’s up to the Dark Knight to

round them up and return them to their padded cells.

Kids say the darndest things

Small World If you’re into an empire building game, try Small World. It’s a zany, light-hearted civilisation game in which 2-5 players vie for conquest and control of a board that is simply too small to accommodate them all! Picking the right combination of fantasy races and Castle Panic unique special powers, players must rush to expand their empires - often at the expense Instead of playing against each other, how of weaker neighbours. Yet they must also about playing a game in which you either win know when to push their own over-extended or lose together? In Castle Panic, you work with your friends to defend your castle against civilization into decline and ride a new one to victory. About 60 minutes playing time. the horde, or the monsters tear down your

Just when you’re not expecting it, kids say the funniest things! We asked our Family Times Facebook members what their kids have cracked them up with.

We’re still laughing. Here’s a snapshot: Karen Schou: I took my daughter

to Wellington Zoo and we were looking at the lions. My 3-year-old said “Mum, Mum, look: there are penguins at the zoo.” I said, “No, there are no penguins at this zoo.”

“Yes there are: they are walking down the path.” I looked around and there were three nuns walking along!

Jo Bell: If Santa doesn’t bring me

everything in my letter to him I will push him back up the chimney.

Talk to the ‘Good Sports’ for your family fun this Summer...

Dairne Woods: One day I was

searching for the TV remote to no avail. My then 5-year-old son said, “It’s okay Mummy: there are some magical buttons on the side of the TV that make it work too!”

Debbie Snell: Pregnant with my second son, my oldest (4-years-old at the time) and I went for a scan and the lady tells him all about where baby is and about amniotic fluid etc. He looks at her and says, “But how does mum do his washing when he’s in there?”

Karena Wilson: Just the other day my Master 3 came up to me and said, “Mum, it’s not me, it’s you.” I said “pardon?” and he responded again with “it’s not me, it’s you.” I asked him if he was breaking up with me, and he said “Yes, now come and play mum!”

If you’d like to share the funny things your child says, email editor@ familytimes.co.nz.

0508 588 522

‘Jack’ up your loan today!

APPLYE ONLIN 12

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gardening

vege patch

How to make a

recycled container veggie garden Growing some veg is a great way to get you and the kids outside and supplement your diet with tasty, healthy food. But what do you do if you don’t have the time or space to make and maintain a big veggie patch?

Just about anything can be used to grow veg in.

As long as it holds soil and has some drainage, it can be used or recycled to grow plants. But there are some things to remember before you get started to ensure you get a bumper crop…

•

Plants in containers can dry out very quickly. In hot weather, your containers need watering every day. If you’re planning on going away for a few days, move your plants into a shady spot and give them a good soaking before you go.

•

•

•

It pays to fertilise your veggies regularly. A dose of liquid fertiliser once a week when they’re well established will do wonders.

You can grow many veggies in surprisingly small spaces, but some crops like tomatoes, zucchini, cabbage or eggplant need more soil to grow in.

Work on 10 litres of soil per plant (about a bucketful) to give them enough space and nutrients to grow throughout the season.

Sun is the key. Crops that need to ripen like tomatoes, peppers or strawberries need as much sun as possible to develop.

Top veggies for container gardening ✓ POTATOES Potatoes will grow quite happily in a fabric re-usable shopping bag. Nothing beats home grown new potatoes for Christmas. ✓ TOMATOES Home grown tomatoes are a taste sensation. Smaller, cherry tomatoes ripen faster and are more prolific than larger varieties. They grow brilliantly in an old bucket. Just make sure the bucket has some drainage holes in the bottom.

Tui gardening pack Introduce your children to the wonder of “growing your own” from seed using Tui Seed Raising Mix, specially blended to provide ideal conditions for germinating seeds and seedling establishment.

Encourage children to help plant yummy veggies and bright flowers with the Joseph Bentley hand trowel and fork. Help your children learn about New Zealand’s wildlife by creating your very own bird café in your garden with our Bumble Bee fun feeder and Tui Fun Feeder Wild Bird Seed Mix. Tui has one pack to give away to one of our lucky families, so you can get gardening with the kids this season!

✓ STRAWBERRIES The taste of summer! Given regular fertiliser and watering, strawberries can be grown in a section of old guttering. If you want something a bit more flash, staple some weed matting on to the back of an old pallet and plant your strawberries in the gaps between the slats.

✓ SPRING ONIONS Spring onions don’t take up a lot of space and will keep growing if you trim off and use the green leaves. ✓ ZUCCHINI Zucchini plants can grow quite large but they are prolific. Just a couple of plants will easily provide enough fruit for a family over the summer. And you can eat the flowers too!

✓ LETTUCE Salad leaves are incredibly easy to grow from seed. Best grown in a long trough or even in ✓ BEANS an old soda bottle cut in half lengthways. Keep sowing new crops regularly to ensure you have a Like tomatoes, climbing beans or peas will need some support as they grow. If you don’t have never ending supply. the space, try dwarf varieties that stay small but still produce heaps of beans. Keep picking them regularly and the plant will keep producing more all summer.

Written by Tom Boyle www.tomboyleconsulting.com

win win win

To enter, visit www.familytimes.co.nz.

Competition closes 9 October 2015.

www.familytimes.co.nz

13

support services

Words of Wisdom with Diane Levy We are moving overseas to my husband’s home country in a few months, for a period of two years. Our son, who is four-years-old, and naturally quite reserved and cautious, is sometimes excited but sometimes gets quite upset and worried about the move. He knows that they speak another language over there and he and I will have to learn it better.

He has started crying at kindy drop-offs and swimming lessons etc, things he usually loves.

What else can we do to support him and help him feel more confident about the move?

a move like this can be “sold” to him as a good thing. Thirdly, notice that he cries when there are small transitions. He feels as if anything could disappear at any time.

So let’s do three things:

  

Have empathy for his situation.

Anchor his New Zealand memories.

Give him visual information about where he is going.

Trying to counter his worries with enthusiasm about the good things rarely works for the cautious, reserved child. Instead, when -------------------------------------he raises things to which you don’t know the Three starting comments: Although we, as answer, empathise with his situation – “It is adults, may think in terms of two years as a relatively short time, for a four-year-old that is really hard for you when Mum and Dad don’t half his lifetime – in other words – forever. The have clear answers. These are things we will thought of eventually coming home is no com- eventually know that answers to – but not fort whatsoever. Secondly, as you so wisely say, now.” I would recommend that you set up three books that will help him know his conhe is naturally cautious so there is no way that cerns are being taken seriously and should also give him something to “hang on to” in an unpredictable world. Firstly, set up a special little notebook of questions: i.e. “That’s a good question. Let’s write it in your book and as soon as we know the answer, we can write that down too.” Secondly, set up his New Zealand book. It should have pictures of his New Zealand home, the rooms that are important to him, his family, his friends, his teachers, his activities, things that he has to leave behind – all preferably with him in it

and/or his favourite comfort toy or both. You will know best the one or two sentence comment that should accompany each picture.

This helps make his current life real and not subject to disappearing.

Thirdly, a book entitled “(His name’s) big adventure.” This is the book that you start to put in pictures with comments of anything you are finding out ahead. The aim is to have some things that when he sees them in real life, he will feel like he knew that would be happening. If you are able to, get any pictures to do with the flights or the airports, who you will meet when you arrive, any pictures to do with where you will be staying initially and anything to do with his new environment (playgrounds, teachers, friends, food, where Dad will work etc.) At the back of the book, why not start a vocabulary list of words and phrases he might like to know and learn – his choice. As you travel and settle, keep adding to the book. Expect to read the books many, many times to him – and, no doubt, he will start to read the books to others. It is a way of anchoring him to his New Zealand home and help him transition to his new home.

Bon voyage

Sometimes you need some information or an answer to a curly question. Why not pick up the phone and call the relative support agency?

You’ll find professional caring people ready to assist you.

Turn old money into opportunities with NZ Lions Did you know that there’s a large amount of unwanted money out there? Apparently, there’s approximately $80m in old coins and some $36m in bank notes plus loads of foreign cash.

The Lions’ HU4K project collects everything from pre/old decimal currency and bank notes through to any foreign currency.

The magic of this collection is taking something that doesn’t have much use and turning it into something really positive – life changing opportunities for Kiwi teens.

Please take your old NZ/foreign money to

any Resene ColorShop or selected New World Supermarkets.

It’s as easy as that!

Many thanks to Fastway Couriers, Resene ColorShops, New World Supermarkets and all New Zealanders for their on-going support.

Parent Helpline 0800 568 865 Available from 9am‐11pm 7 days a week

We listen!

For all paren�ng issues from those every‐ day situa�ons to the most serious issue of child abuse.

Professional and skilled Telephone Support Workers are there to help you and offer:

 A listening ear  Immediate support  Prac�cal strategies  Referral to other services in your area

E‐mail: parenthelp@xtra.co.nz www.parenthelp.org.nz

14

www.familytimes.co.nz

Submit your parenting questions and concerns to family therapist, counsellor, parenting coach and speaker Diane Levy.

Email us at editor@familytimes.co.nz.

Get an order form for Diane’s popular books via www.familytimes.co.nz.

For more advice from Diane Levy, check out www.familytimes.co.nz.

Dunedin Budget Advisory Service

Help is @ hand

Phone: 03-471 6158 Free confidential advice on personal budgets. How to manage your money, options and plans for debt repayment.

parties parties

Birthday party

themes

We’re always looking for new and exciting ideas for kids’ birthday parties, and this time we thought we’d ask you – our readers – what some of your kids’ biggest birthday hits have been. Here are a couple of ideas to get those creative juices flowing:

T heme: Wild Wild

Bir thday ch ild: Noah Fa lconer, 3-years- old Mum: Trud y Renner Fa lconer What inspir ed the them e?

“The inspirat ion was Woo dy from Toy St or y, which he was right into at the time.”

Was it easy to put toge ther?

“I kept an ey e out at op sh ops and on Trad eMe for mon ths for the prop s, as I couldn ’t find a lot of cow boy-themed part y supplies in th e regular sh ops.

I had signs m ade saying “H all of Fame,” an d we made up “wanted” po ster who at tended s for ever yone . Food was co rn chips and sa lsa, hot dogs , and baked beans.

A cowboy bo ot pinata and ca ke finished it off. We all dr essed up in Wild West theme. ”

T heme: Rainbow

: Sienna Kinch, Birthday child d ol s5-year Kinch Mum: Angela “We d the theme? ire sp in t Wha eme th sy ea ld be an thought it wou e things ak m to ns tio with lots of op s of the by using colour ourselves just rainbow.” ? put together Was it easy to ed on int pa ow a rainb “Everyone had easy using d an ick qu e their face, mad ake” so paint beauty “c a rainbow face e swipe. it’s done in on d jelly rainbow-layere n: fu as w d oo “F llies lo d an bs it keba and cookies, fru r colour ful he ot g on am s layered in jar a me was “taste things. A fun ga ever yone aw str a ing us rainbow” e skittles and mov had to suck up then r he ot an to dish them from one eat them.”

West

Related article that you may be interested in: Keeping up with Jones’ There is no end to how much you can spend on a child’s birthday, all to keep up with the Jones’. But you can still have a great party without all the drama.

win winparties win

HEALTHY PARTY FOOD

that is fun?

Over at Munch, we have loads of recipes tested fun by parents and kids alike that are healthy, fun and delicious! A big part of that that is is aa number number of of healthy party food recipes that kids will love.

Each time one of of our our Munch Munchmums mumshas hasaa party, we add to to our our growing growingMunch Munchrecipe recipe index. We only only add add recipes recipesthat thatour ourkids kidswill will love, and many many of of our our recipes recipeshave haveno noartificial artificial colouring and no no sugar. sugar.

Why not try using using beetroot beetrootjuice juiceto tocolour colour party water pink pink or or spinach spinachfor forgreen? green?You Youcan can also use beetroot beetroot juice juice to to make makepink pinkicing. icing.

Check out our great great (and (andhealthy!) healthy!)party partyfood food recipe sugar-free sugar-free cupcakes Our recipes cupcakes.below.

Our recipes come cometraditional from traditional recipes that as from recipes that we allwe ateallasate kids, kids,we buthave we have adapted so they fit our but adapted themthem so they fit our Munch way way of of doing doing things. things.

We also also believe We believe that that we we should shouldbe beconscious conscious of the environment, and kids’ parties of the environment, and kids’ partiescan cancreate create lot of of after-party after-party rubbish. aa lot rubbish. So Sowhy whynot notthink think about using using reusable about reusable plates, plates,or oratatleast leastbio bio degradable plates, degradable plates, and and ifif you youare aregoing goingto togive give out party party bags out bags how how about aboutjust justgiving givingaaslice sliceofof cake and and some cake some stickers? stickers?

Enjoy the the party!

Enjoy party!

By Anna Bordignon from Munch: www.munchnz.co.nz.

For more great recipes, search the food section in our online feature articles library – www.familytimes.co.nz.

FT_SPRING 15.indd 4

Kids’ party food must be fun, but must it be unhealthy? The short answer is, “no.”

Sugarfree cupcake recipe Photo by Munch Mum Melissa Jacks Ingredients ½ cup vegetable oil 1 tsp almond essence ½ cup Natvia Baking Mix 2 Eggs 1 cup flour 3 tsp baking powder ½ cup milk

Mother Earth is excited to announce a brand new lunchbox snack for kids – Fruit Bites! Made with real fruit and crispy rice, Fruit Bites have 100% natural ingredients and are a perfect snack for onthe-go, any time of the day. To celebrate Fruit Bites and the three delicious flavours – apple, apple & mango and apple & strawberry - we have 11 packs to give away, each including the whole Fruit Bites range and a cute apple notepad, valued at more than$40. For more information visit www.motherearth.co.nz.

To enter, visit www.familytimes.co.nz.

Competition closes 7 October 2015.

Party at Chipmunks for

Method 1. Mix oil, almond and Natvia until light and fluffy.

2. Add eggs one at a time.

3. Sift flour and baking powder, fold into mix.

4. Stir in milk.

5. Bake at 190° for 15 minutes or until cupcakes spring back when lightly touched.

Icing 2 sachets of sugar-free instant pudding mix (any flavour) 1 cup skim milk 3 cups of cream

Fru it B ites

safe, guaranteed fun!

Put all ingredients in a mixing bowl. Using electric mixer at low speed, mix until pudding is dissolved.

Increase speed and whip until it is spreading consistency.

• Hot party meal & drink for each child • Your own party room • Stay & play all day Adults entr y is • Chipmunks lollies ALWA YS * • Party loot bags free • Ice cream cake* • Party game & prize* ive All inclus om fr • Special premium gift packages * for your birthday child per child • No clean up charges

$19.95

Your choice of 5 popular party themes!

Remember to bring your socks!

(No socks, no play)

Book your party now!

373 Princes Street, Dunedin Phone 03 477 6762 dunedin@chipmunks.co.nz *Party “loot bags”, party game & prize, premium gift for birthday child, are inclusions in bash & bonanza packages.

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Soak in the view...

Family Getaways

Private Hot Tubs | Private Wellness Pods | Sauna

Come and unwind in private peaceful surroundings. The rejuvenating properties of fresh mountain water will deeply cleanse and revitalise.

Your tub is cleaned and re-filled just for you - no chemicals are added.

Adjust the temperature & unwind... 03 438 9703

Tuition PHOTO: CAROL EDWARDS

www.hottubsomarama.co.nz

TOTARA ESTATE See how Victorian farm workers lived and have a go at some of their jobs Feed our friendly sheep • play Victorian games • bring a picnic • enjoy traditional teas Open daily Sept – May 10am-4pm Admission charges apply • Children free

8kms south of Oamaru on SH1 (03) 433 1269 n totaraestate@heritage.org.nz

www.totaraestate.co.nz

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