Writing A Good Manuscript In English Kathleen Rockland RIKEN Brain Science Institute NSR Author workshop 2008/July/09
Organization!! Have something to say. Say it clearly.
How? 1. It’s difficult !!! 2. Get help ! - - colleagues - - manuals - - self-help (analyze published articles) 3. It’s the logic ! (More than “the” or “a.”)
Cultural bias 1. Repeating. Usually, once is enough, especially within a paragraph. (That is, cultural differences about “completeness.”) 2. Usually, put the main thought or main point at the beginning. Do not “build up” to it. 3. If you can give a specific number or quantity, do it (not: “some” “a few” “many”).
Words have connotations.
Negative
cheap odd
Neutral
Positive
inexpensive
good value
unusual
distinctive
obvious
clear
clear
primitive
basic
fundamental
simple
Avoid qualifiers (These are too weak or vague). X X X 9 X 9
We sometimes found…. We usually found…. We generally observed…. We found (18 of 20) that…. We tried to quantify [attempted to]. We quantified….
Use emphasis. 9 9 9
clearly for the first time significantly advance
Some words create a negative impression. Use sparingly! – may be; might be – although – probably – seems; appears – is believed to be involved 9 Evidence suggests… 9 Current views hold… – study these experiments this investigation describe, report, present evidence, demonstrate, found, observed, indicate, explore, analyze, investigate
Example:
Be succinct (brief)
Despite the advantages of this new technique as described here, there are also limitations for it. Despite the advantages of this new technique as described here, there are also limitations for it.
Shorter is usually better. (OK)
Several recent reports have re-addressed the identity of the claustrum, taking into account connectional, chemical, or molecular features.
Better:
Several recent reports have re-addressed the connectional, chemical, or molecular identity of the claustrum.
(OK)
Netrin-G2 expression is selectively elevated in cortical layer 6, the source layer of cortico-claustral projections.
Better:
Netrin-G2 expression is selectively elevated in layer 6. Interestingly, this is the source layer of cortico-claustral projections.
Keep subject and verb close together.
(OK)
The claustrum, a phylogenetically conserved structure, has reciprocal connections with widespread cortical regions , and has been associated with sensory and emotional coordination or integration.
Better:
The claustrum is a phylogenetically conserved structure with reciprocal connections with widespread cortical regions. It has been associated with‌
Try to use short sentences. “X and Y did not result in any differences, showing that …” “X and Y did not result in any differences. showing that …”
Thus, expression is … On this basis … From this…
Be Specific!
X
9
Distribution of Netrin-G2 mRNA at several different rostral-caudal levels. Distribution of Netrin-G2 mRNA at seven different rostral-caudal levels.
Often better to state something as a positive.
“Thus, we do not agree with previous findings.”
“In contrast with previous findings, we would suggest …”
• Readers do not simply read; they interpret. • Information is interpreted more easily and more uniformly if it is placed where most readers expect to find it. • Since we read from left to right, we prefer the context on the left, where it can more effectively familiarize the reader. We prefer the new, important information on the right, since its job is to intrigue the reader.
9 context: time (min)
X information:
information:
context:
temperature (°C)
time (min)
0
temperature (°C) 25
25
0
3
27
27
3
6
29
29
6
9
31
31
9
12
32
32
12
15
32
32
15
G. D. Gopen, J. A. Swan American Scientist, 1990
A strong title orients readers to your area of work. “Effects of Humidity on the Growth of Avalanches” “Some Thoughts on Minicolumns”
Some Thoughts on Minicolumns: Pros and Cons Some Negative Thoughts on Minicolumns Minicolumns: Still Controversial Minicolumns: Still Controversial?
Introduction 9 9 99
Background Unknown Controversy
“To investigate similarities and differences of…., we performed.” As an opening (Abstract or Introduction), this is too descriptive! “To determine how X differs in development, we….” or X is known to have transient changes in development. In order to specify….
Just state what you have done, and then give the motivation: “In this study, we identify three subtypes. We developed a new, sensitive modification….”
Example:
Just State IT B ot h c ere b e l l u m and neocortex receive input from the somatosensory system. Interaction between these regions has been proposed to underpin the correct selection and execution of motor
but it is not clear how such interactions occur. In neocortex, inputs give rise to population rhythms, providing a commands,
spatiotemporal coding strategy for inputs and consequent outputs. Here, we show that similar patterns of rhythm generation occur
cerebellum ‌. As in neocortex,
in
gamma rhythms were dependent on GABAA receptor - mediated inhibition, whereas VFOs required only nonsynaptically connected intercellular networks. The ability of cerebellar cortex to generate population rhythms within the same frequency bands as neocortex suggests that they act as a common spatiotemporal code within which corticocerebellar dialog may occur.
Example:
We examined the expression pattern of synaptic proteins in…. In total, we examined over x molecules using protein and mRNA assays….
We found that a vast majority of proteins were clearly co-expressed in each area of the brain.... It was apparent, however by comparison of the datasets, that there was variation in the expression pattern of these genes. We
therefore patterns by….
classified expression
Discussion -- If you open with a summary, don’t just list!
X
We showed xx in the limbic cortex of rabbits. We performed…. We also performed….
9
Our results present new evidence….
9
By using x with a novel improvement, we report three main results.
Example:
Understanding the origins and evolution of synapses may provide insight into species diversity and brain organization. Using X and Y, we re-examined.... We found marked changes…. We propose that the evolution of synapse complexity…. has contributed to….
Beware of philosophizing
“These findings may underlie the synthesis of cognition, emotion, and action.” HOW? “Disturbance of these connections may underlie the pathology in psychiatric conditions by an imbalance in this intricate circuitry.” HOW?
Reference：
1）Michael Alley The Craft of Scientific Writing (Third Edition) 1996 ISBN:0387947663 http://books.google.co.jp/books?id=o302kOKFnhYC
2）George D. Gopen and Judith A. Swan The Science of Scientific Writing The American Scientist (Nov-Dec 1990), Volume 78, 550-558 http://www.amstat.org/publications/jcgs/sci.pdf