YENTE ZINE: EDITION VASHTI

Notes Cover and back illustration by Sarah Heller @sheistheearthart Cover lettering by Emily Theodore @emmtheo Drag script by Kehillah North London p12 Painting on p8 by Francesca Magnus Illustrations on p3 p4 p10 p24 p25 p26 p31 p34 p37 p38 p39 p40 p61 p62 p68 by Sarah Heller @sheistheearthart Collage on p11 by Ava Sharpe @avasharpe Painting on p14 by Agnes Halladay @agneshalladay Stills on p19 and p20 from the film 'Mazel Tov' made by Eli Zuzovsky https://elizuzovsky.com Background image on p20 by Gabri Kucuruza Photos on p24 by Ulinka Rublack, Maria Hayward and Jenny Tiramani, The First Book of Fashion: The Book of Clothes of Matthaeus Schwarz and Vait Konrad of Ausgsburg, 2015 Pomegranate on p43 by Ruby Cooper @ruby.cooperx Painting on p56 by Valentin Gerhard Braun Image on p66 by Mollie Leibowitz Image on p67 by Riss Kipf Drawings on p69 and p70 by Hannah Hopkins @hannahrbh Recipe on p72 by www.kosher.com Photography on p73 and 74 by Leah Churchill

Yente is a student run Jewish, Queer and female led collective. @yentezine shalom.vashti.gals@gmail.com

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‫ַּ֚גם ַוְׁש ִּ֣תי ַה ַּמ ְל ָּ֔כ ה ָע ְׂש ָ֖תה ִמ ְׁש ֵּ֣תה ָנִׁ֑שים ֵּ֚בית ַה ַּמ ְל ֔כ ּות ֲא ֶׁ֖שר ַלֶּ֥מֶל ְך‬ In addition, Queen Vashti gave a banquet }‫ֲא ַח ְׁש ֵוֽר ֹוׁש ׃ {ס‬ for womxn, in the royal palace of King Ahasuerus

Banquet guest list: *Lily YENTE Sheldon* *Ava YENTE Sharpe* *Ilana YENTE Cuello-Wolffe* *Meg YENTE Goundry-Napthine*

Maya YENTE Robinson Tomer YENTE Amit Francesca YENTE Magnus Hannah YENTE Kieve Mx. YENTE enigma Leah YENTE Mitchell Hannah YENTE Davis Yael YENTE Roberts Emma YENTE Walker The YENTE Rimmers Lumière YENTE Liv YENTE Kunis-Berkowitz Anonymous YENTE 16 Adam YENTE Possener Indigo YENTE Fera Talia YENTE Barnoy Hannah YENTE Hopkins Eli YENTE Zuzovsky Kate YENTE Greenberg Adam YENTE Possener Adam YENTE Possener Indigo YENTE Fera Anya YENTE Gera

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Talia YENTE Barnoy Kate YENTE Greenberg Diana YENTE story Anonymous YENTE Natalie YENTE Perman Julia YENTE Hegel Naom Yente &co.

Riss YENTE Koupf Miz YENTE Mollie YENTE Leibowitz Sara YENTE Moon Gwendy YENTE Davenport Holly YENTE Chaya howell Noga YENTE Levy-Rapoport Jonty YETE Bromfield-Ngonyamah Sara YENTE Alexander Emma YENTE Theodore Sarah YENTE Heller Avigail YENTE Harris Theo YENTE Daniels Ruby YENTE Cooper Solal YENTE Bauer Kaly De Oliveira Yente Cerqueira Bek YENTE Possener Gabri YENTE Kucuruza Debbie YENTE Friedman Our YENTE foremxthers

Mordy: Shantay we stay.

NARRATOR: And there we have it! Genocide averted, bigotry thwarted, a woman saving the day despite a man trying to take the credit. And don’t forget the special foods!

76

Esther 9twenty.seven ‫ְו ַה ָּיִ֣מים ָ֠ה ֵ֠אֶּלה ִנְזָּכ ִ֨רים ְו ַנֲעִׂ֜שים ְּב ׇכ ל־ּ֣דֹור ָו ֗דֹור ִמ ְׁש ָּפ ָח ֙ה ּוִמ ְׁש ָּפ ָ֔ח ה‬ ‫ְמ ִד יָ֥נה ּוְמ ִד יָ֖נה ְו ִ֣עיר ָוִ֑עיר ִו יֵ֞מ י ַה ּפ ּוִ֣רים ָה ֵ֗אֶּלה ֹ֤לא ַֽיַע ְב רּ֙ו ִמ ּ֣תֹוְך‬ }‫ַה ְּיהּוִ֔ד ים ְו ִזְכ ָ֖רם ֹלא־ָי ֥סּוף ִמ ַּזְר ָֽעם׃ {ס‬ Consequently, these days are recalled and observed in every generation: by every family, every province, and every city. And these days of Purim shall never cease among the Jews, and the memory of them shall never perish among their descendants

‫ְל ַק ֵּ֡ים ֶא ת־ְיֵמ ֩י ַה ֻּפִ֨רים ָה ֵ֜אֶּלה ִּב ְזַמ ֵּניֶ֗הם ַּכ ֲא ֶׁש ֩ר ִק ַּ֨ים ֲעֵליֶ֜הם‬ ‫ׇמ ְר ֳּד ַ֤כי ַה ְּיהּוִד ֙י ְו ֶא ְס ֵּ֣תר ַה ַּמ ְל ָּ֔כ ה ְו ַכ ֲא ֶׁ֛שר ִק ְּי ֥מּו ַע ל־ַנְפ ָׁ֖שם‬ ‫ְו ַע ל־ַזְר ָ֑עם ִּד ְב ֵ֥רי ַה ּצֹו֖מֹות ְו ַזֲעָק ָֽתם׃‬

These days of Purim shall be observed at their proper time, as Mordecai the Jew—and now Queen Esther—has obligated them to do, and just as they have assumed for themselves and their descendants the obligation of the fasts with their lamentations 75

,

Kohenet's corner BLANCA You gotta remember why the balls started in the first place. They were a place we could be all them things we weren’t allowed to be out in the world. How many times did we walk businesswoman -- and now you a real one Elektra. Or Runway -- and now you actually walk those real runways, Angel. We wasn’t pretending when we walked those categories, we were preparing. Faking it until we made it. More than that, we were making a statement -- that we deserve to dream and to have those dreams fulfilled. In those Balls we bear witness to each other’s possibility. We say to each other, yeah, I see you. I see who you are and who you can be. The outside world tells us to hide, the balls tell us to strut, To flaunt, to never ask permission to be recognized.

[POSE finale]

On Purim we are commanded to adorn masks, to transform our identities, to present as something other than ourselves. Purim emerged out of the strict hierarchical social system of the classical era, in 4th century BCE. Then, the costumes one wore were a major signaller to one’s position in society. One’s outfit told of one’s status. And one’s status was unquestionable. The act of changing this costume then was pretty radical. It turned the very idea of status and position on its head.

It offered a breather. A re-set. A deep, embodied imagining into what might exist beyond those fiercely fixed notions of identity and class imposed by a system of absolute monarchy controlling one of the biggest empires the world has ever known.

On this day all hell could break loose. You were not confined to the clothes of your social caste. You could become whoever you wanted to be. It was a huge finger up to the powers that be, to the standards that dictated who could be what and how.

And these days of Purim shall never cease among the Jews, and the memory of them shall never perish among their descendants. Esther 9:28.

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This statement prompted the Rabbi’s to declare that when Messiah comes and we do not celebrate other festivals, still we will observe Purim. So powerful, so subversive, so Divine is the festival of Purim that we will never cease to celebrate it.

Nu, so what about Shmita?

This year, as you might know is the year of Shmita. A once in every seven years rest for the land. The forgiving of all debt. The relinquishing of ownership.

On Shmita we are commanded:: Six years you shall sow your land and gather in its yield; but in the seventh you shall let it rest and lie fallow. Let the needy among your people eat of it, and what they leave let the wild beasts eat. Exodus 23:10-11 The great year of levelling. We cut down our fences and let the needy among us eat of our produce. So too with the wild beasts.

The positions and identities that had once seemed so fixed blurred. Shmita laughs at status. Shmita, like Purim asks us to step outside of our everyday identities and inhabit something other.

In both Purim and Shmita, this inhabiting of the other draws us closer to God, the Divine that lives amongst all. And in doing so it reveals something deeper of our own true nature. In the Shmita year, we are reminded that class and wealth are merely constructs that can, and must, be dismantled. Shmita offers us a re-set. Even if we ‘go back to normal’ the year after, ‘normal’ has been forever re-set. Like Purim, Shmita invites us to shake off rigid ideas of our status in society, it asks us to lean in to other possibilities of who we may be or become, to practice who we want to be.

Purim in a Shmita year then, must be the most radical day of them all. May the identities you traverse on Purim remind you of the ever-changing, ever-present possibilities of deep transformation & liberation. May it re-set your capacity to imagine the fierce, abundant liberation on its way for all of us and may it lift us up to run up and reach for it.

Chag Purim Sameach!

sara moon

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1.

Beat margarine and sugar until light and creamy.

2. Add eggs and vanilla and continue beating for two minutes.

Sift in flour and mix at low speed until well-combined.

3. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Line two sheet pans with Gefen Easy Baking Parchment or silicone mats.

4. Roll out dough on a silicone mat to 1/4-inch thickness. Using a two and a half- to three-inch round cutter, cut circles. For a prettier hamantasch, try cutting with a fluted round cutter.

5.

Leave circles on the mat and remove dough scraps. Place circles on your baking pan and spoon one teaspoon of filling on each circle.

6.

Turn up three sides of each circle and pinch or fold the corners closed. Repeat with remaining dough.

7. Bake for 18 to 20 minutes, or until edges are golden. Remove from the oven and cool.

8. Store at room temperature for a week or freeze in an airtight container

TRADITIONAL hamantaschen RECIPE 72

"One his

strains

strength

with at

the

fetter, In impotent rage; One

flutters

flights

of

in a

moment, And

beats

at

the

cage."

- Amy Levy, excerpt from Captivity, 1885

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Revenge: a method of radical humanisation Megillat Esther is ensanguined; the metaplot of impending Jewish genocide radiates unease, and many characters face bleak ends. I do not dispute that the self-defence of the Jewish populace was reasonable.

And yet, there are vengeful undertones.

Our heterosexist white supremist capitalist patriarchal society uses violence to systematically dehumanise communities. Unsurprisingly, in an attempt to save the ‘moral position’ of a social movement, we might be tempted to dampen the complex emotions of vengeance. Even so, revenge and anger are devices to mobilise transformation of our society; revenge should be legitimately considered as a method of radical humanisation.

Revenge is a moralised act that: has victims baying for blood the abuser may not learn lessons from revenge.

“Can you ever feel the same as me?”

Revenge is solidarity vengeance is admonishment : we can show people that ‘this is a bad thing’ provides (some) psychic ease

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Marginalised communities struggle to conceive themselves as active, not passive participants: the jew defined by antisemitism; gender defined by binaries; the jew of colour by Jewish ‘whiteness’; the other by the monolith. Positive definitions of communities might be achieved by revenge. By becoming ‘even’, the marginalised communicate a desire to shift away from being the transgressed to becoming a free agent with the capacity to inflict harm.

Purim could be coded as a celebration for Jewish survival. The transgressor is thwarted and punished for their schemes against the Jewish people. Revenge becomes a device to begin some process of reclaiming humanity and nullifying victimhood.

In the aftermath of The Shoah, 50-odd survivors formed Nakam, an organisation dedicated to Holocaust revenge under the leadership of Abba Kovner. Nakam initially sought the murder of six million German citizen via poisoning the water supply - “Plan A”. For practical and theoretical reasons, Nakam adopted an alternative “Plan B”, pursuing extra-legal murders of Nazis.

Would the death of six million Germans be helpful or harmful to the radical humanisation of Jews and the dismantling of white supremacy? It isn’t obvious that the psychic and physical pain of marginalised persecution will ever be healed by this kind of exacting vengeance.

Revenge can broadcast power and equality; so can anger, protest, generosity, education, chesed.

Revenge for marginal communities can be motivated by a desire for humanisation; however, dismantling the master's house requires a new paradigm.

69 Jonty Bromfield-Ngonyamah

Identity These hips, gripped by no one unworthy, swelling and aching like the Red Sea. I’m twenty parabells, six cups of wine, four psalms, smarting brine, orbs of fat and salt stinging in a pot.

Every extra helping from my bubbe, every ounce of schmaltz eaten in spite of burning shtetls Rolled eyes and brashness, walking straight through traffic.

My body is a mitzvah Stories and jokes and kvetching, wrapped in skin and bones and blood trussed in a gold chain My body is a temple We don’t separate men or women here 68

Come and pray.

julia hegle

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HAMAN: Well, sire, if you were to ask me, sire, I’d say the honoured man should ride on a white horse with a gold saddle, and wear the royal jewels and a silk gown. I’m thinking high camp, I’m thinking wigs and 5 inch-long nails, I’m thinking DRAG! KING A: What a brilliant idea! Well, run along then, and get all those things - for Mordechai the Jew. He saved my life you know.

HAMAN: The Jew? The - the Jew? KING A: Yes. He will ride a white horse in full drag, and you’ll be stuck cleaning up the aftermath and throwing away his makeup wipes!

HAMAN: I don’t understand, what have I done? Is this about that silly little law? It was just a misunderstanding, as the scripture says everybody makes mistakes.

KING A: I know exactly what you did. I was actually quite excited about sharing Mamma Mia’s excellency with the world, but alas, it was all a lie. Now you’ll have to pay, Haman.

NARRATOR: Things are getting spicy!

MORDY: Esther! I saved us - I mean we’ve done it together! Mah rabu ma’asecha Adonai! The Jews are free. Let’s celebrate, let’s have some wine! There’s a Waitrose delivery arriving in 5 minutes - can you unload it?

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Esther eight ‫ַוֹּ֨יאֶמ ר ַה ֶּ֤מֶל ְך ֲא ַח ְׁש ֵוֹרׁ֙ש ְל ֶא ְס ֵּ֣תר ַה ַּמ ְל ָּ֔כ ה ּֽוְל ׇמ ְר ֳּד ַ֖כי ַה ְּיהּוִ֑די ִה ֵּ֨נה‬ ‫ֵב ית־ָה ָ֜מן ָנַ֣תִּת י ְל ֶא ְס ֵּ֗תר ְו ֹאתֹ֙ו ָּת ֣לּו ַע ל־ָה ֵ֔ע ץ ַ֛על ֲא ֶׁש ר־ָׁש ַ֥לח ָי֖דֹו‬ ‫(ביהודיים) [ַּב ְּיהּוִֽדים]׃‬ Then King Ahasuerus said to Queen Esther and Mordecai the Jew, I have given Haman’s property to Esther, and he has been impaled on the stake for scheming against the Jews

‫ֲא ֶׁש ֩ר ָנַ֨תן ַה ֶּ֜מֶל ְך ַלְּיהּוִ֣דים ׀ ֲא ֶׁ֣שר ְּב ׇכ ל־ִע יר־ָוִ֗עיר ְל ִה ָּק ֵה ֮ל ְו ַלֲעֹ֣מד ַע ל־ַנְפ ָׁש ֒ם‬ ‫ְל ַה ְׁש ִמ י֩ד ְו ַלֲהֹ֨רג* ּוְל ַא ֵּ֜בד ֶא ת־ׇּכ ל־ֵ֨חיל ַ֧עם ּוְמ ִד יָ֛נה ַה ָּצִ֥רים ֹאָ֖תם ַ֣טף ְו ָנִׁ֑שים‬ ‫ּוְׁש ָלָ֖לם ָלֽבֹוז׃‬ to this effect: The king has permitted the Jews of every city to assemble and fight for their lives; if any people or province attacks them, they may destroy, massacre, and exterminate its armed force together with women and children, and plunder —their possessions

‫ַּפ ְת ֶׁ֣שֶג ן ַה ְּכ ָ֗תב ְל ִה ָּ֤נֵֽתן ָּד ֙ת ְּב ׇכ ל־ְמ ִד יָ֣נה ּוְמ ִד יָ֔נ ה ָּג ֖לּוי ְל ׇכ ל־ָה ַע ִּ֑מים ְו ִל ְה ֨יֹות‬ ‫(היהודיים) [ַה ְּיהּוִ֤דים] (עתודים) [ֲעִת יִד י֙ם] ַל ּ֣יֹום ַה ֶּ֔זה ְל ִה ָּנֵ֖קם‬ ‫ֵמ ֹאְיֵב יֶֽהם׃‬ The text of the document was to be issued as a law in every single province: it was to be publicly displayed to all the peoples, so that the Jews should be ready for that day to avenge themselves on their enemies.

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Esther nine

‫ּוׇמ ְר ֳּד ַ֞כ י ָיָ֣צא ׀ ִמ ִּל ְפ ֵ֣ני ַה ֶּ֗מֶל ְך ִּב ְל ֤בּוׁש ַמ ְל כּו֙ת ְּת ֵ֣כֶלת ָו֔ח ּור ַוֲע ֶ֤טֶר ת ָזָה ֙ב ְּג דֹוָ֔ל ה‬ ‫ְו ַת ְכ ִ֥ריְך ּ֖בּוץ ְו ַא ְר ָּג ָ֑מן ְו ָה ִ֣עיר ׁש ּוָׁ֔שן ָצֲהָ֖לה ְו ָׂש ֵֽמָח ה׃‬ Mordecai left the king’s presence in royal robes of blue and white, with a magnificent crown of gold and a mantle of fine linen and purple wool.

And the city of Shushan rang with joyous cries

‫ּוְב ׇכ ל־ְמ ִד יָ֨נה ּוְמ ִד יָ֜נה ּוְב ׇכ ל־ִ֣עיר ָוִ֗עיר ְמ קֹו֙ם ֲא ֶׁ֨שר ְּד ַב ר־ַה ֶּ֤מֶל ְך ְו ָד תֹ֙ו ַמ ִּ֔ג יַע ִׂש ְמ ָ֤חה‬ ‫ְו ָׂש ׂשֹו֙ן ַלְּיהּוִ֔ד ים ִמ ְׁש ֶּ֖תה ְו ֣יֹום ֑טֹוב ְו ַר ִּ֞בים ֵֽמַע ֵּ֤מי ָה ָ֙אֶר ֙ץ ִֽמְת ַיֲהִ֔ד ים ִּֽכי־ָנַ֥פל‬ ‫ַּֽפַח ד־ַה ְּיהּוִ֖דים ֲעֵליֶֽהם׃‬ And in every province and in every city, when the king’s command and decree arrived, there was gladness and joy among the Jews, a feast and a holiday. And many of the people of the land professed to be Jews, for the fear of the Jews had fallen upon them

‫ּוְב ֹבָא ּ֮ה ִל ְפ ֵ֣ני ַה ֶּ֒מֶלְ֒ךָא ַ֣מר ִע ם־ַה ֵּ֔ס ֶפ ר ָיׁ֞שּוב ַמ ֲח ַׁש ְב ּ֧תֹו ָה ָר ָ֛עה ֲא ֶׁש ר־ָח ַׁ֥שב‬ ‫ַע ל־ַה ְּיהּוִ֖דים ַע ל־ֹראׁ֑שֹו ְו ָת ֥לּו ֹא֛תֹו ְו ֶא ת־ָּב ָ֖ניו ַע ל־ָה ֵֽעץ׃‬ But when [Esther] came before the king, he commanded: “With the promulgation of this decree, let the evil plot, which he devised against the Jews, recoil on his own head!” So they impaled him and his sons on the stake

‫ּוִב ְׁש ֵני֩ם ָע ָׂ֨שר ֹ֜חֶד ׁש הּוא־ֹ֣חֶד ׁש ֲא ָ֗דר ִּב ְׁש לֹוָׁ֨שה ָע ָׂ֥שר יֹו֙ם ּ֔ב ֹו ֲא ֶׁ֨שר ִה ִּ֧גיַע ְּד ַב ר־ַה ֶּ֛מֶל ְך ְו ָד ֖תֹו‬ ‫ְל ֵה ָע ׂ֑שֹות ַּב ּ֗יֹום ֲא ֶׁ֨שר ִׂש ְּב ֜רּו ֹאְיֵ֤בי ַה ְּיהּוִד י֙ם ִל ְׁש ֣לֹוט ָּב ֶ֔ה ם ְו ַנֲה ֣פֹוְך ֔ה ּוא ֲא ֶׁ֨שר ִיְׁש ְל ֧טּו ַה ְּיהּוִ֛דים‬ ‫ֵ֖הָּמ ה ְּב ֹׂשְנֵא יֶֽהם׃‬

And so, on the thirteenth day of the twelfth month—that is, the month of Adar—when the king’s command and decree were to be executed, the very day on which the enemies of the Jews had expected to get them in their power, the opposite happened, and the Jews got their enemies in their power

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'God of vengeance' Sholem Asch’s The God of Vengeance (1906) follows Yekel Tchaftchovitch, a Jew in a provincial Polish town who seeks purity in God’s eyes despite his sinful life. Yekel runs a brothel in his basement, alongside raising his “chaste” daughter, 17-year-old Rifkele, who symbolises innocence and spirituality. The dramatic ‘downfall’ of Rifkele is her overtly sensual love story with Manke, a sex worker. The “clash between Yekel’s revolting career and his paternal idealism” is perceived as the primary drama of the play, but I would argue that the lesbian love story amidst these overbearing religious aims and demands should be viewed as an equally integral aspect of the play. In seeking to reclaim our Jewish identity on our own terms, illustrating the fullness of our humanity through representing our Judaism and its intersections, Asch presents us with a story that challenges us and is worthy of being challenged. Is this not, after all, what our Judaism in all its forms – queer, womanly, Other – is all about? What is our Torah but a remaking, a drama, a love story – between us and ourselves, us and our God?

Written at the end of a national awakening of Jews in Eastern Europe as part of the great Jewish exodus to the West and the reckoning with of Yiddish as a language through which Jewish literature could be redefined and a culture through language re-embraced. Crucially, this birth of Yiddish literature was deeply connected to the revival of an antisemitic ‘crusade’ across Russia and Eastern Europe.

The God of Vengance examines religion, morality, and their diversification during this time. Asch was at the time the “most popular producer of Yiddish fiction”, a key figure in the literary renaissance that had begun to take place just a generation before, whose handling of Yiddish was described as “music in his hands”. His writings, just like those of his predecessor, S. J. Abrahamovitch, the ‘father’ of the new Yiddish literary movement, are fundamental to the reckoning Jewish and Yiddish culture was undertaking with itself – and The God of Vengeance was hailed as his best work. As a Yiddish script, it is a hallmark of Jewish-driven emancipation from the expectations of homogeneity both from Gentiles and other Jews; in laying bare complex Jewish lives without judgement, embedded with bold depictions of lesbian love, The God of Vengeance demands a reexamination of how Jewish lives must not be held to different moral standards than others.

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The God of Vengeance is an artistic exploration of a moral battle, of grappling with being “deprived” of love, and of the contradiction between “the innocent, longing for sin, and the sinful, dream of purity”.

Rifkele’s relationship with Manke must be regarded as central to the moral drama.

Interpretations of Rifkele’s character and plot are, and should be, varied, with the sensitivity that one of the boldest earliest scenes of lesbian love in mainstream modern public theatre requires. Asch himself firmly stated that the ‘Rain Scene’, in which Manke and Rifkele confess their love and sleep together, was a “poetic” one, wherein the “love between the two girls is not only an erotic one”, but rather the “unconscious mother love of which they are deprived… rather than the sensuous, inverted love of one woman for another.” At the same time the play’s depiction of what is ultimately a lesbian love scene, with or without the imposition or inclusion of maternal love and want, still comes through as “delicately erotic”, and full of “candor”. Initial interpretations painted Rifkele as a victim, her father’s attempts to keep her pure “thwarted” by the “vengeful god of Judea” who lets her fall into the “clutches of Lesbians.”

In actuality, much more emphasis should be placed on Rifkele’s agency in seeking out and actively consenting to sleeping with Manke (“Something drew me so irresistibly to you… My heart pounded so wildly”, rather than the homophobic interpretation of her as prey to Manke’s desires. Embedded in Rifkele’s attraction to Manke are ongoing themes of subverting her father’s rule and rebelling against the purity and religious moral code she is ordered to follow to the letter. Both her father and God’s constant presence in her mind as the arbitrators of sin and purity are evidence of her own struggle with the expectations placed upon her to be perfectly “virtuous.” and this struggle should be taken as part of her persistent agency rather than a victimisation or delegating this internal battle to Yekel as protagonist.

The religious symbolism undeniably dominates interpretations of Rifkele’s love for Manke - from how Rifkele “stole the key from the Scroll”, to how Yekel then feels he has failed the Scroll, and therefore God (“Take the Holy Scroll with you! I don’t need it anymore!”).

But it should not supersede the importance to the drama and subsequent analysis that this is a passionate love scene between two women, where marriage (“we are bride and bridegroom”) and sex are discussed overtly and even performed. Asch felt he should depict, if not lust between two women, at the very least an “unconscious mother love”. The concept of a ‘mother’s love’ is almost always conventionally based on the idea of not just unconditional love, as might be presupposed, but rather a love based on trust. However althoughshe does not have trust in the home (as she fears that her father will hurt her, and her mother is unable to protect her) Rifkele ultimately finds sanctity and sanctuary through the exploration of her desires – regardless of lesbian nature or not – with a figure she feels she has a trusting connection. , Despite a fairly successful run across European theatres for several years after its premiere in 1907, Asch was met with immense backlash when the 1922 English-language production transferred to Broadway. After an outpouring of rage from conservative Jews and goyim alike, the play was removed from Broadway and the cast was arrested for “obscenity” The reception made a clear statement: Jews cannot be complicated. For Jews today, this fight to exist beyond the binary and to challenge its very existence is far from over. For queer Jews, our freedom to engage in that fight and in our communities without shame or hatred remains remarkably narrow. Perhaps, then, we can and should gain a certain strength from Asch’s drama: we can draw a righteous anger from Yekel’s despair at his entrapment within society’s many religious binaries and stereotypes. We can seek vengeance for the mistreatment of women like Manke, their freedom curbed by sexual violence, fundamentalist misogyny, and ingrained lesbophobia. Perhaps the deepest and truest of mitzvot for us to fulfil would be to open up a better world for girls like Rifkele: those desperately in need of trust and care, to feel excitement and love, to be free and liberated, and to retain full agency – both in our eyes and in the eyes of God.

Noga Levy-Rapoport61

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Rem A particularly prevalent example of the pervasiveness of the notion of ‘replacement’ down the matrilineal line being problematised is seen in my conversation with 25-year-old non-binary, bisexual community development worker Rem. Coming out as bisexual felt a lot easier to Rem than coming out as non-binary as their mother was incredibly worried about the fact that their being non-binary meant that they would not want to have children anymore. This shows that the type of homophobia Rem experiences, similar to that which Miriam’s father demonstrated above, is associated with the potential that Rem may be unable to fulfil their ‘Jewishness’. When we begin our call, Rem tells me that they grew up in a not very religious household yet explains how, despite this, their family’s reactions to their identity are still strongly informed by pressures from the Jewish community. Coming out for Rem has been a multi-step process, to multiple family members alongside six siblings, five of whom identify as queer. Rem came out to their mum as bisexual on the day of their Bat mitzvah which they felt was an unwittingly ‘queer’ interpretation of what this Jewish coming of age ritual meant to them.

Whilst a lot of Rem’s family endeavour to use their they/them pronouns, Rem notices that all those above their own generation feel the ‘loss of my femininity.’ This abandonment of ‘womanhood’ being directly associated with barrenness indicates that Rem is only viewed as reproductively ‘valuable’ in Jewish terms if they pass down their ‘substance’ as a woman. Rem’s mother might not see bisexuality as a threat to Rem’s ability to reproduce because it still leaves room for heterosexual procreation. Unlike Miriam, who came out over forty years ago, Rem is only 25, which could mean that with the availability of new reproductive technologies even if Rem were to pursue a relationship with a same-sex partner, their ability to pro-create is unthreatened by their sexuality, especially in more liberal denominations. Their gender queerness, however, renders Rem’s mother unable to locate their reproductive role. Rem is an example of how even in more secular practices of Judaism, a pressure to pass down ‘substance’ still pervades.

Questions of acceptance would give Rem and Miriam reasons to suspend their engagement with the Jewish community. They both feel, however, that abandoning Judaism is a ‘biological’ impossibility and make active efforts to contribute to their respective communities. Through the reactions of Rem and Miriam’s families, however, we can see that there have been changes in what is and is not perceived as a threat to Jewishness. Over time, a less stringent notion of Judaism has made allowance for some forms of queerness: specifically seen in the varying reactions to queer sexualities versus gender queerness and how this affects the perceived ability transfer of Jewish ‘substance’.

Nonetheless, queerness continues to probe at the boundaries of ‘Jewishness’, albeit in different ways.

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In the summer of 2020, I conducted 10 weeks of ethnography on the queer Jewish intersection in the UK as part of a final year University Anthropology dissertation. This is an excerpt from my dissertation – a mixture of the interviews and my commentary surrounding it, which I have adapted. This section explores the idea that queerness can be used to demarcate the boundaries of Jewishness- Anya Gera, author

Miriam Towards the end of my research in August 2020, I was introduced to Miriam, a 65-yearold lesbian Jewish filmmaker living in North London. Miriam believes that one can never totally reject one’s Jewish identity, “it’s you, it’s your body, your eyes, more than it is your philosophy.” She always tells me; I come from a very secular family so am in need of this affirmation.

Miriam came out to her family at eighteen – she recounts a scene to me whereby her adopted dad after she tells him she is gay, throws her cigarette on the floor and says, ‘that’s where all the lesbians end up, with the goys.’ These words are emblematic of Miriam’s father’s instant equation of lesbianism with non-Jewishness, both of these symbolically aligned with the trash he has thrown on the floor.

Miriam tells me that she is first and foremost Jewish and secondly queer. When Miriam started socialising in lesbian circles in the early '70s in London she felt that all the girls discriminated against her for being a Jew. She talks about how being queer is a part of her identity she has to disclose to people, but everyone can immediately tell she is not just British: ‘I never have to ‘come out’ as Jewish’. Miriam has also lived in Tel Aviv, Italy and Berlin and feels strongly that she belongs outside of the UK saying that Britain is ‘the worst place to be a Jew I have ever experienced. I don’t know what it is...well, maybe I do. Everywhere else I’ve been it’s totally inappropriate to be anti-Semitic, but here it’s just gotten more normalised. I guess it’s also made me obsessed with my Jewishness.’

In searching to remain connected to both the gay and Jewish communities, she led a session at a virtual queer Jewish farm retreat. The retreat took place over Zoom every Sunday of October 2020 and Miriam’s session was framed around the idea of ‘lost land’ and the inherited trauma this has generated. Many of the female participants throughout this research have expressed that they feel that there is massive pressure on them to have children – to replace those who were lost – and that their queerness is seen as a direct threat to this: both practically (how can two women possibly have children?) and in terms of ability to build a home without a husband.

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Learning about my opa Through his Wikipedia Page Is my way of navigating This part of my identity.

Jüdische Auswandererlehrgut Twice refugee Cologne Nairobi Malta Wells “Meinen deutschen Pass abzugeben, wäre eine Kapitulation vor Hitler gewesen.”

Piecing together an image of Opa From mother’s stories Is my way of trying To understand his history.

Painting Drawing Smoking The Mdina Gallery ‘Pitched between heaven And Charing Cross’ “to give up my German passport would have been to give in to Hitler.”

Imagining Opa From his oil paintings Is my way of tracking His journey From Gerhard Braun To Valentin Braun From Son to Refugee to Artist to Soldier to Husband to Father To my Opa.

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Gwendy Davenport

miz It’s all a cleverly cultivated farce, I remember thinking to myself Cut your hair short, Wear men’s clothes Develop an addiction to cigarettes that conveniently lowers your voice by those few crucial octaves But the second she undresses you, all the threads will unravel and the truth will bare itself.

Strip back all the props, and you’ve got a praise kink and a pair of tits. You silly boy.

Grimace.

And yes, I’m sufficiently well-acquainted with the theory.

Anyone who knows me, knows my love affair with Butler and Bettcher and Halberstam.

“Gender provides the discursive framework through which the sexes themselves are established”.

Sex turns out to have been ‘gender all along’.

Wonderful, brilliant. I’ll interpret you, charitably, Butler, enlist Gender Trouble in my supervision essay to argue that “gender” is not exhausted by its prevailing hegemonic instantiation as heterogender and that bodies can be recoded by sexually desirous objects along alternative gender lines. Wonderful, brilliant. Full marks, you clever boy.

Girl.

“Could you maybe say chest, instead?” I asked, guiltily, as if I’ve asked her to collude in pretence by just indulging me a little, by pretending that neither of us are pretending.

Born in the wrong body.

Does my body betray me by telling the truth, or by lying?

She looks at me like it’s a non-question. A non-request. It’s just semantics, changing nothing except my own comfort.

“I don’t see you as a woman, at all”.

As if to say: there are no lies here.

As if to say: your body tells me what you want it to tell me.

And that’s when I realised that it really does change nothing for you.

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I HAVE AN OLD SOUL

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In the middle is a drawing of me saying (in Dutch) "I have an old soul", the guy on the left says "I am totally uninterested" and the guy on the right says "I am."

- Diana Story

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Revealing the rainbow Holly Chaya Howell My neshama lit on fire Ignited with such drive Taking every opportunity Longing to deep dive Into the depths of Torah Where answers were promised to me A life of order Structure, fences They claimed would set me free An aidel maidel I would be The perfect BT queen Always helpful, Always thoughtful Always pure and clean I shoved down these thoughts I shoved down my beliefs I shoved down my grief I shoved down myself But the burning in my heart And the buzzing of my mind Grew louder and louder Fighting, screaming “YOU ARE BLIND” But I could no longer feel the joy I felt with that first spark Every Shabbos Every Adar My vision turned to the dark But something occurred That would change my whole life The bubble, it popped The truth stabbed like a knife

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I saw all of the gaps I saw all of the flaws I saw all of the pain Caused by layer after layer of laws In my distress, A familiar voice called It was soft and so sweet And it said, very gently, come be with me, let’s be My queerness that I buried For 13 long years Was here, face to face In this woman I held so dear I do not regret being frum 7 years For there were many times of joy Amidst all of the tears I am thankful to Chabad For showing me my Jewishness But I leave behind frumkeit Choosing instead to be limitless But now it’s just me In an apartment of my own Asking my dear sweet self “What do you want when you’re alone?”

I sing my Hebrew prayers As loud as I feel No longer am I silenced It’s safe to be real Dancing in the pews Of my new, progressive shul Finally, I am alive I am a queer and beautiful soul

ESTHER: Don’t you worry, of course I’ll talk to the hubby, Ashy, about the whole get-rid-of-the-jews thing Haman’s got going on. After saving the king’s life, maybe he’ll want to repay you.

MORDY: Just to remind you, Esther, I’m right.

NARRATOR: Spoiler: when the King finds out Mordechai foiled the assassination plan, he will want to repay him. And there you have it, dear audience, the seed of a revolution. Down with the monarchy! Down with dictatorship! ANARCHY! She like, has read read Marx.

KING A: I want to give you something, Esther, a gift! What do you want? Half of the kingdom? A job on Chag race?

Anything! What can I give you?

ESTHER: LIFE. ESTHER: Hum, I don’t eat pork, I rest on Saturday, I bake plaited bread….

[SLOWY] - I’m a Jew. KING A: [Massive Gasp] ESTHER: You signed a law to get rid of all the Jews.

And that means me! Do something - you must stop this!

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Esther seven ‫ַו ַּ֨תַע ן ֶא ְס ֵּ֤תר ַה ַּמ ְל ָּכ ֙ה ַוֹּתאַ֔מ ר ִא ם־ָמ ָ֨צאִת י ֵ֤חן ְּב ֵעיֶ֙ניָ֙ך ַה ֶּ֔מ ֶל ְך‬ ‫ְו ִא ם־ַע ל־ַה ֶּ֖מֶל ְך ֑טֹוב ִּת ָּֽנֶת ן־ִ֤לי ַנְפ ִׁש ֙י ִּב ְׁש ֵ֣אָלִ֔ת י ְו ַע ִּ֖מי ְּב ַב ָּק ָׁש ִֽתי׃‬ Queen Esther replied: “If Your Majesty will do me the favor, and if it pleases Your Majesty, let my life be granted me as my wish, and my people as my request ‫ִּ֤כי ִנְמ ַּ֙כְר נּ֙ו ֲא ִ֣ני ְו ַע ִּ֔מ י ְל ַה ְׁש ִ֖מיד ַלֲה֣רֹוג ּוְל ַא ֵּ֑בד ְ֠וִא ּ֠ל ּו ַלֲעָב ִ֨דים‬ }‫ְו ִל ְׁש ָפ ֤חֹות ִנְמ ַּ֙כְר נּ֙ו ֶה ֱח ַ֔רְׁש ִּת י ִּ֣כי ֵ֥אין ַה ָּ֛צר ֹׁשֶ֖וה ְּב ֵ֥נֶזק ַה ֶּֽמֶל ְך ׃ {ס‬ For we have been sold, my people and I, to be destroyed, massacred, and exterminated. Had we only been sold as bondmen and bondwomen, I would have kept silent; for athe adversary-a is not worthy of the king’s trouble ‫ַוֹּ֙יאֶמ ֙ר ַה ֶּ֣מֶל ְך ֲא ַח ְׁש ֵו֔ר ֹוׁש ַוֹּ֖יאֶמ ר ְל ֶא ְס ֵּ֣תר ַה ַּמ ְל ָּ֑כה ִ֣מי ֥הּוא ֶז֙ה ְו ֵֽאי־ֶ֣זה‬ ‫֔ה ּוא ֲא ֶׁש ר־ְמ ָל ֥אֹו ִל ּ֖בֹו ַלֲעׂ֥שֹות ֵּֽכן׃‬ Thereupon King Ahasuerus demanded of Queen Esther, Who is he and where is he who dared to do this

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Esther Five5 ‫ֵלְ֩ך ְּכ ֨נֹוס ֶא ת־ׇּכ ל־ַה ְּיהּוִ֜דים ַֽהִּנְמ ְצ ִ֣אים ְּב ׁש ּוָׁ֗שן ְו ֣צּומּו ָ֠ע ַ֠ל י ְו ַא ל־ֹּתאְכ ֨לּו ְו ַא ל־ִּת ְׁש ּ֜תּו‬ ‫ְׁש ֹ֤לֶׁש ת ָיִמ י֙ם ַ֣לְיָלה ָו֔יֹום ַּג ם־ֲא ִ֥ני ְו ַנֲע ֹרַ֖תי ָא ֣צּום ֵּ֑כן ּוְב ֵ֞כ ן ָא ֤בֹוא ֶא ל־ַה ֶּ֙מֶלְ֙ך ֲא ֶׁ֣שר‬ ‫ֹֽלא־ַכ ָּ֔ד ת ְו ַכ ֲא ֶׁ֥שר ָא ַ֖בְד ִּת י ָא ָֽבְד ִּת י׃‬ Go, assemble all the Jews who live in Shushan, and fast on my behalf; do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my maidens will observe the same fast. Then I shall go to the king, though it is contrary to the law; and if I am to perish, I shall perish ‫ַוֹּ֨יאֶמ ר ַה ֶּ֤מֶל ְך ְל ֶא ְס ֵּת ֙ר ְּב ִמ ְׁש ֵּ֣תה ַה ַּ֔יִין ַמ ה־ְּׁש ֵא ָלֵ֖תְך ְו ִי ָּ֣נֵֽתן ָ֑לְך ּוַמ ה־ַּב ָּק ָׁש ֵ֛תְך ַע ד־ֲח ִ֥צי‬ ‫ַה ַּמ ְל ֖כּות ְו ֵת ָֽעׂש׃‬ At the wine feast, the king asked Esther, “What is your wish? It shall be granted you. And what is your request? Even to half the kingdom, it shall be fulfilled ‫ַוַּ֥תַע ן ֶא ְס ֵּ֖תר ַוֹּתאַ֑מר ְׁש ֵא ָלִ֖תי ּוַב ָּק ָׁש ִֽתי׃‬

—My wish,” replied Esther, “my request ‫ִא ם־ָמ ָ֨צאִת י ֵ֜חן ְּב ֵעיֵ֣ני ַה ֶּ֗מֶל ְך ְו ִא ם־ַע ל־ַה ֶּ֙מֶלְ֙ך ֔ט ֹוב ָלֵת ֙ת ֶא ת־ְׁש ֵ֣אָלִ֔ת י ְו ַלֲעׂ֖שֹות ֶא ת־ַּב ָּק ָׁש ִ֑תי‬ ‫ָי ֧בֹוא ַה ֶּ֣מֶל ְך ְו ָה ָ֗מן ֶא ל־ַה ִּמ ְׁש ֶּת ֙ה ֲא ֶׁ֣שר ֶֽאֱעֶׂ֣שה ָלֶ֔ה ם ּוָמ ָ֥חר ֶֽאֱעֶׂ֖שה ִּכ ְד ַ֥בר ַה ֶּֽמֶל ְך ׃‬ if Your Majesty will do me the favour, if it please Your Majesty to grant my wish and accede to my request—let Your Majesty and Haman come to the feast which I will prepare for them; and tomorrow I will do Your Majesty's bidding

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23/02/2022

Yente Shiur on False Identity

48 Yente Shiur on False Identity

Shear my head, capture me clearly I vow to you

Liv Kunins Berkowitz

U T P RE A C

to your Disavowals I’ll meet you there in a pseudonyms’ reflection— yielding to light restrains, we find contemporaries out of time and find no time to witness you’re masks/like women your cut-outs command ~ onlookers’ utter desire ~ facing freak phantom beak musings in exile untrained exilic muses bearing love . submit to God. no image

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Mi Shebeirach lyrics Debbie Friedman Mi shebeirach avoteinu M'kor hab'racha l'imoteinu May the source of strength Who blessed the ones before us Help us find the courage to make our lives a blessing And let us say Amen Mi shebeirach imoteinu M'kor habrachah l'avoteinu Bless those in need of healing with r'fuah sh'leimah The renewal of body, the renewal of spirit And let us say Amen Mi shebeirach avoteinu M'kor hab'racha l'imoteinu May the source of strength Who blessed the ones before us Help us find the courage to make our lives a blessing And let us say Amen Mi shebeirach imoteinu M'kor habrachah l'avoteinu Bless those in need of healing with r'fuah sh'leimah The renewal of body, the renewal of spirit And let us say Amen

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QUEER & JEWISH: WHICH COMES FIRST? In my final year at a Modern Orthodox Jewish School I came out as bisexual publicly in an Instagram post. I never expected to do this. Three years later I’m still not sure why I did it, but I do know that I don’t regret it.

Orthodox Jewish communities are not known to be welcoming for members of the LGBTQ+ community. It was almost unheard of for my school to provide a platform for LGBTQ+ issues and experiences; we weren’t even allowed to put a pride flag up in the sixth form cafeteria. My school was a space that at best tolerated, but never celebrated queer people. Confronting my queer identity so publically whilst I was at school didn’t feel natural or comfortable and I felt out of place beacuse of it.

I remember the first time I was in a queer and Jewish space, at an explicitly queer event run by my Youth Movement. I was surprised how at ease I felt. It had felt natural to share personal details about my struggle with my queer identity in a Jewish space like this, at school the overlap of my Judaism and Queerness still felt oddly discordant.

At university, these parts of who I am were suddenly inverted. It’s now being Jewish, not queer that sets me apart from my friends. I’ve also realised how rare it is for me to be in a space where I feel equally comfortable being authentically queer and Jewish. I have not been as involved in the queer scene in Oxford as I would have liked because I struggle with not feeling queer enough. The common tropes about bisexual people, that we’re just confused and ‘going through a phase’, are wholly untrue, but for some reason I still feel like a fraud.

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The community has always been my favourite part of being Jewish (along with the food) but I struggle aligning the religious side of Judaism with my own values. When I visit the Orthodox synagogue my family belongs to, I feel out of place and uncomfortable. I have always considered myself a cultural, rather than a religious Jew. I do not believe in the omnipotent, omniscient god I learnt about at cheder, however I do sometimes find spiritual meaning in religion and prayer. In the same way that I experience my queerness, I don’t feel completely settled or static in my Jewish self.

I am still figuring out both my queer and Jewish identities. Perhaps one reason I feel at home in queer Jewish environments is because the intersection of identities gives me the space to be unsure. I don’t need to pinpoint exactly where I fit into either community in order to be accepted.

Exploring your identity is complicated and confusing, whether it's as a Jew or a queer person, and doing both simultaneously is even more so. I can’t say I have solved any of my hang-ups through this self-reflection but it feels good to be honest about how conflicted I feel. Maybe someone reading this feels the same.

All I can say is that I am proud of how far I’ve come since that Instagram post and I am most definitely proud to be part of both the Jewish and queer communities.

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Esther four 4 ‫ּוׇמ ְר ֳּד ַ֗כי ָיַד ֙ע ֶא ת־ׇּכ ל־ֲא ֶׁ֣שר ַנֲעָׂ֔שה ַוִּיְק ַ֤רע ׇמ ְר ֳּד ַכ ֙י ֶא ת־ְּב ָג ָ֔ד יו ַוִּיְל ַּ֥בׁש ַׂ֖שק ָוֵ֑אֶפ ר‬ ‫ַוֵּיֵצ֙א ְּב ֣תֹוְך ָה ִ֔ע יר ַוִּיְזַ֛עק ְזָע ָ֥קה ְג דֹוָ֖לה ּוָמ ָֽרה׃‬ When Mordecai learned all that had happened, Mordecai tore his clothes and put on sackcloth and ashes. He went through the city, crying out loudly and bitterly

‫ַוָּי֕ב ֹוא ַ֖עד ִל ְפ ֵ֣ני ַֽׁשַע ר־ַה ֶּ֑מֶל ְך ִּ֣כי ֵ֥אין ָל ֛בֹוא ֶא ל־ַׁ֥שַע ר ַה ֶּ֖מֶל ְך ִּב ְל ֥בּוׁש ָֽׂשק׃‬ until he came in front of the palace gate; for one could not enter the palace gate wearing sackcloth ‫ּוְב ׇכ ל־ְמ ִד יָ֣נה ּוְמ ִד יָ֗נה ְמ קֹו֙ם ֲא ֶׁ֨שר ְּד ַב ר־ַה ֶּ֤מֶל ְך ְו ָד תֹ֙ו ַמ ִּ֔ג יַע ֵ֤אֶב ל ָּג דֹו֙ל ַלְּיהּוִ֔ד ים‬ ‫ְו ֥צֹום ּוְב ִ֖כי ּוִמ ְס ֵּ֑פד ַׂ֣שק ָוֵ֔א ֶפ ר ֻיַּ֖צע ָֽלַר ִּֽבים׃‬ Also, in every province that the king’s command and decree reached, there was great mourning among the Jews, with fasting, weeping, and wailing, and everybody lay in sackcloth —and ashes ‫(ותבואינה) [ַ֠וָּת ֠בֹואָנה] ַנֲע ֨רֹות ֶא ְס ֵּ֤תר ְו ָס ִר יֶ֙סיָ֙ה ַוַּיִּ֣גידּו ָ֔ל ּה ַוִּת ְת ַח ְל ַ֥חל ַה ַּמ ְל ָּ֖כה ְמ ֹ֑אד ַוִּת ְׁש ַ֨לח‬ ‫ְּב ָג ִ֜דים ְל ַה ְל ִּ֣ביׁש ֶֽאת־ׇמ ְר ֳּד ַ֗כי ּוְל ָה ִ֥סיר ַׂש ּ֛קֹו ֵמ ָע ָ֖ליו ְו ֹ֥לא ִק ֵּֽבל׃‬

When Esther’s maidens and eunuchs came and informed her, the queen was greatly agitated. She sent clothing for Mordecai to wear, so that he might take off his sackcloth; but —he refused

42

We strike at Mordechai alone in the close of night my mother is greater than G-d we are no women we are only the voices of children, carried down a stream. we go to a funeral where black shoes pinch toes and nobody cries. the adult world is in suits and brogues. they knot their ties and throats and bedsheets to escape out of the window for secret midnight feasts. G-d asks, holding the empty jar: what have you seen, given that everything is concealed, just as it was before? we strike at mordechai alone. spring is born to be taken away the faster the better. the tree between twelve borders spreads its legs and begs. the four winds of the world cry five husbands into coke bottles. cheder goes anim zemirot, tal’lei orot we spin around, forwards into a circle sound, backwards five hundred persian miles. songs and poems, curls in the downpour of night. (s)he says: these words are proof of my longing for you. we strike mordechai alone. he is a bitter little boy, esther his sweet prophet. in the courtyard the voices of children, dressed in royal robes.

Natalie Perman

Tzimtzum

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TW: discussions of an eating disorder.

CLOCKWORK I never spent my childhood going to synagogue. I never had a Bat Mitzvah or learnt Hebrew, and my family was definitely selective about which holidays we’d choose to celebrate. However, even if our observance was erratic at best, I could always rely on there being honey cake on Rosh Hashanah, matzah balls on Passover, and an enormous pot of our family brisket recipe at every holiday in between. It was like clockwork.

Jewish food always felt special. Knowing that for decades and generations my ancestors and community had been nourishing themselves with the same dishes that my mom made for me. These were dishes that had survived poverty, pogroms, genocide and assimilation to make it to our table.

I can’t pinpoint the exact moment where food stopped being a source of joy and comfort for me and instead became my biggest source of anxiety and fear. But it happened.The recipes that my ancestors fought so hard to preserve were reduced to numbers swirling around my head.

It was on Yom Kippur that I first realised just how significantly my relationship with Judaism had been impacted by my eating disorder. I wanted to fast, of course. But realistically, there was no religious conviction behind it. My parents were understandably not a fan of their anorexic daughter, who was never particularly religious to begin with, not eating in the name of atonement. After a lot of arguing and tears, I agreed to eat.

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I tried to find some meaning in it. I told myself that keeping myself healthy was an equally important religious obligation. At dinner, I would brush off questions from unknowing friends about fasting, citing ambiguous health problems as the reason for my lunch. But below the surface, I was consumed with guilt. I felt guilty for not being Jewish enough. I felt guilty for not being anorexic enough. I felt guilty for not being normal enough.

There isn’t any conclusion to this story. My friendships and relationships are suffering as I’ve slowly withdrawn from the world, tired of lying and pretending to the people around me. I haven’t miraculously recovered and had some sort of religious awakening along the way. All I can do right now is recognise that one day when I've healed my body and my mind, I’m going to need to find a way to rebuild what I've lost. The damage that's been done isn’t just physical or emotional, but spiritual as well.

I’ve lost a big part of my identity and I don’t know how to get it back because no one ever taught me how to pray or worship. Instead, I was taught how to fold hamantaschen, make matzah balls and braid challah.

But one day, hopefully soon (though probably not), I won’t dread holiday meals, and I’ll be able to appreciate again how good Jewish food can* be. *notably, there are exceptions. gefilte fish.

- anonymous

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Epigenetics How does one shirk ancestral pain?

Shrug it off like a shawl?

I thought I decided to conjure a soft Rivera breeze to carry it away I expected to find relief I did not I know better now Even if my back is bare Trauma cannot be cast to the wind When it is the lifeblood that keeps my eyes open What a stupid idea Sometimes there are moments When the ribbons of imperial success Wring even tighter around my wrists There are moments when they have kicked the backs of my shins as I have attempted to stand up forcing me to genuflect with my knees in the sand I hate sand I use these moments to make out a song To Dinknesh To Chavah To Pandora born out of terracotta clay So I might be soothed

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Indigo Fera

love letter to antisemites

because I feel most like myself when I start stroking my nose & projecting my insecurities onto some tiny piece of land / I swear I could murmur my surname over & over / just to squeeze its jew out / say I’m different / & confess your raging desire to fuck me / I can’t help but think of my breasts on yom kippur / how thoroughly I slap them / how familiar I am with fasting / & the high of breaking / which really

is brokenness / I am brilliant at shame / bless me / when you take the time

to honk at my ankles whilst I’m walking to synagogue / only I would send wishes for a sweet new year / thank you / & thank you again / for returning me to my knees / which are the least defined parts of myself / & thus the softest / it must be your rare cadence / arousing remembrance of my tendency / to burst in on rabbis / blowing shofars / how this always recalls the location of my heart / how / & after all this time / I don’t know where to sit

kate greenberg 37

HAMAN Well you see, sire, I was out today, walking around, looking for girls to invite to the pageant, and I came across a lousy Jew who refused to bow down to me!

KING A How unfortunate. I fail to see how that concerns me, though.

HAMAN Well, this very simple, insignificant law I’ve created would make me feel much better about it. I need you to sign it, sire.

KING A Sure, whatever. I’ll sign it. DM it to me.

HAMAN Yayyy! Thank you sir! The beauty pageant will be on Sunday, and I’ve found some beauuutiful ladies for you! I mean, I still don’t see why you need one when you’ve got devoted men like me in your court, but -

36

Esther three.two ‫ַוֹּ֤יאֶמ ר ָה ָמ ֙ן ַל ֶּ֣מֶל ְך ֲא ַח ְׁש ֵו֔ר ֹוׁש ֶיְׁש ֣נֹו ַע ם־ֶא ָ֗חד ְמ ֻפָּ֤זר ּוְמ ֹפָר ֙ד ֵּ֣בין ָֽהַע ִּ֔מ ים ְּב ֹ֖כל ְמ ִד י֣נֹות‬ ‫ַמ ְל כּוֶ֑תָך ְו ָד ֵת יֶ֞ה ם ֹׁש֣נֹות ִמ ׇּכ ל־ָ֗עם ְו ֶא ת־ָּד ֵ֤תי ַה ֶּ֙מֶלְ֙ך ֵא יָ֣נם ֹעִׂ֔שים ְו ַלֶּ֥מֶל ְך ֵא ין־ֹׁשֶ֖וה‬ ‫ְל ַה ִּניָֽחם׃‬ Haman then said to King Ahasuerus: There is a certain people, scattered and dispersed among the other peoples in all the provinces of your realm, whose laws are different from those of any other people and who do not obey the king’s laws; and it is not in Your Majesty’s interest to tolerate them

‫ִא ם־ַע ל־ַה ֶּ֣מֶל ְך ֔ט ֹוב ִיָּכ ֵ֖תב ְל ַא ְּב ָ֑דם ַוֲע ֶׂ֨שֶר ת ֲא ָלִ֜פים ִּכ ַּכ ר־ֶּ֗כֶס ף ֶא ְׁש קֹו֙ל ַע ל־ְיֵד ֙י‬ 35‫ֹעֵׂ֣שי ַה ְּמ ָלאָ֔כ ה ְל ָה‬ ‫ִ֖ביא ֶא ל־ִּג ְנֵ֥זי ַה ֶּֽמֶל ְך ׃‬ If it pleases Your Majesty, let an edict be drawn for their destruction, and I will pay ten thousand talents of silver to the stewards for deposit in the royal treasury ‫ְו ִנְׁש ֨לֹוַח ְס ָפ ִ֜רים ְּב ַ֣יד ָה ָר ִצ י֮ם ֶא ל־ׇּכ ל־ְמ ִד י֣נֹות ַה ֶּ֒מֶלְ֒ךְל ַה ְׁש ִ֡מ יד ַלֲהֹ֣רג ּוְל ַא ֵּ֣בד‬ ‫ֶא ת־ׇּכ ל־ַ֠ה ְּיהּוִ֠ד ים ִמ ַּ֨נַע ר ְו ַע ד־ָזֵ֜קן ַ֤טף ְו ָנִׁש י֙ם ְּב ֣יֹום ֶא ָ֔ח ד ִּב ְׁש לֹוָׁ֥שה ָע ָׂ֛שר ְל ֹ֥חֶד ׁש‬ ‫ְׁש ֵנים־ָע ָׂ֖שר הּוא־ֹ֣חֶד ׁש ֲא ָ֑דר ּוְׁש ָלָ֖לם ָלֽבֹוז׃‬ Accordingly, written instructions were dispatched by couriers to all the king’s provinces to destroy, massacre, and exterminate all the Jews, young and old, children and women, on a single day, on the thirteenth day of the twelfth month—that is, the month of Adar—and to plunder their possessions

35

Dear Ima There’s so much I want to tell you.

Should I tell you in Hebrew?

In Yiddish?

Dear mum, Do you remember When you lost your mind Did you ever give that Because someone said divorce was consideration when you said unholy? being gay was unholy?

Your grandfather got a divorce in the I came out to my friends in 2021 Before you found it acceptable ‘50s And I live in fear you’ll disown Before it was acceptable me And your father had to change his Out of shame. surname I hope my children thank Out of shame.

Hashem every day You thanked Hashem every day Because when they come out Because by 2008, It will be easier because I won’t judge them for it.

When you got divorced Dear mum, It was easier and you were never I don’t blame you, judged for it.

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Not really.

This is the view you grew up with You can’t control it.

*

It was forced upon you.

So don’t blame me, If I ever find the courage to come out to you, For not telling you sooner, Because the only reason I don’t tell you Is fear, And that’s a fear you’ve created.

Dear mum, Do you know what it takes To hide this aspect of myself from you?

I’ve always told you everything, I’ve been shameless, careless in my confessions Until the day I realised there were things I couldn’t say Things you’d refuse to listen to.

You spat on my allyship, Denied the reality of my friend’s existence because they didn’t conform to gender binary Misgendered my friends and idols Is it any wonder That by the time it came

*

To come out to you I had run out of words?

*

Dear mum, There’s so much I want to tell you.

Should I tell you in Hebrew?

In Yiddish?

What language can I speak in to make you understand me?

Anonymous, age sixteen.

33

*

32

Questions I would ask If I believed in god I’m too assimilated to be able to pronounce my boyfriend’s name.

What does it even mean to say I’m assimilated when I’ve never known anything different? What have I assimilated from?

And what does it mean to say I’m assimilated when half my family is not Jewish to begin with?

Besides, what does it mean not to be assimilated? Speaking Hebrew? Having gone to a Jewish school? Having had a bat mitzvah? Going to shul?

Would that make me a “real” Jew? Would that make me feel less like a fraud?

I pinch the Magen David around my neck between thumb and forefinger, seeking some kind of reassuring solidity. I chose to affix this symbol to myself (Or did I?) and now I’m asking it (Why? What secrets are hiding in those corners? And why can’t I tease them out?)

I write and talk about Jewish identity (My identity? Is(n’t) that the same thing?) over and over, hoping one day I’ll write the narrative (My narrative? Is(n’t) that the same thing?) into making sense.

(Will I?) I offer my tangled thoughts up for consumption - I make you my Alice, and my writing spells out (Eat me?)

Digest me into something real (If a tree falls in a forest?)

31 LEAH MITCHELL

LILY SHELDON The red-faced choir conductor announces to those peeking in from the pew: “We will start with “Jerusalem.”

And the students shrouded in black start to sing.

And did those feet in ancient time Walk upon Englands mountains green: We are sitting in a non-denominational university chapel; a paradox of a building. Buildings infused with prayer was where I spent my childhood. Friday evening services singing Lachadodi: ‘let us go, my beloved, to greet the bride / the Sabbath presence.’ Whilst Saturdays were for the stressful scurry to synagogue, only getting there for the shul gossip over kiddush. ‘Did the bar-mitzvah boy really say that in his Dvar?’ ‘Did you hear, she’s dating a woman?’

‘Have they changed the fishball recipe?’ Followed by the familial institutionalised schluff, sleeping off the weeks.

And was the holy Lamb of God, On Englands pleasant pastures seen!

Warm summer days on Machaneh were spent lying in pastures. But surely the word pleasant is a bit anticlimactic and far too prude.

Perhaps, prickly pastures or perky or precious or pure or perfect or pernicious or maybe even pretty but they were never just pleasant.

We lay in spikey fields under the stars, picked at mosquito bites in sadehs heated by the sun and swam naked in our chilling agam. Our first kisses were stolen on shabbos walks: nervous clammy hands were locked tight, creeping deep into the forest.

And did the Countenance Divine, Shine forth upon our clouded hills?

And was Jerusalem builded here, Among these dark Satanic Mills?

30

“Mills are factories," I whisper. "I looked it up.” Her hand grabs mine, our feet touch each other, don’t make eye contact or you will laugh: stay serious for chapel. Her rainbow bracelet flutters to the sound of the organ and her leg grazes mine. I know what that means, fluent in her body language.

Bring me my Bow of burning gold: Bring me my arrows of desire: 'Heaven’ on Valentines day. It was a battlefield of seductive stares.

G-d wasn’t expecting such a flamboyant, flowery and fairy congregation in such an unexpected place of worship.

Bring me my Spear: O clouds unfold!

Bring me my Chariot of fire!

The temple was rebuilt. "UNFOLD."Our sweaty bodies bowed down to each other, Queen B Don't get it twisted, get it twisted. This my shit, bow down bitches.

I will not cease from Mental Fight, Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand: The mental fight in 'chapel' is to stay concentrated. The sword is there to protect intrusive thoughts. Empty yourself.

'Til we have built Jerusalem, Have you forgotten already, Matisyahu? I hum in her ear: let my right hand forget what it's supposed to do: "Do you know that song?"

In Englands green & pleasant Land.

The singing pulls to a stop. The silence rings sweetly. The flustered choir flick through their flimsy folders. I bite the Magen David which sits on my collar bone,metallic. She flicks my thigh.Her elbow leans into my hip. I hold her right hand over my sealed eyes:

'Shema yisrael adonai eloheinu adonai echad.'

29

HAMAN Bow down, Jew. I said bow down! Did you not hear me Moldy?

MORDY It’s Mordy, not ‘Moldy’, and I’m not going to bow down. Why? Because I’m a Jew, and Jews don’t bow down to anyone but God.

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Esther three.Two2 ‫ְו ׇכ ל־ַע ְב ֵ֨די ַה ֶּ֜מֶל ְך ֲא ֶׁש ר־ְּב ַׁ֣שַע ר ַה ֶּ֗מֶל ְך ֹּכְר ִ֤עים ּוִֽמְׁש ַּת ֲח ִו י֙ם ְל ָה ָ֔מ ן‬ ‫ִּכ י־ֵ֖כן ִצ ָּוה־֣לֹו ַה ֶּ֑מֶל ְך ּוׇ֨מְר ֳּד ַ֔כ י ֹ֥לא ִיְכ ַ֖רע ְו ֹ֥לא ִֽיְׁש ַּת ֲח ֶֽוה׃‬ All the king’s courtiers in the palace gate knelt and bowed low to Haman, for such was the king’s order concerning him; but Mordecai would not kneel or bow low

‫ַוְיִ֗הי (באמרם) [ְּכ ׇא ְמ ָ֤רם] ֵא ָלי֙ו ֣יֹום ָו֔יֹום ְו ֹ֥לא ָׁש ַ֖מע ֲא ֵליֶ֑הם‬ ‫ַוַּיִּ֣גידּו ְל ָה ָ֗מן ִל ְר אֹו֙ת ֲה ַֽיַע ְמ דּ֙ו ִּד ְב ֵ֣רי ׇמ ְר ֳּד ַ֔כ י ִּֽכי־ִה ִּ֥גיד ָלֶ֖הם‬ 27 ‫ֲא ֶׁש ר־֥הּוא ְיהּוִֽדי׃‬ When they spoke to him day after day and he would not listen to them, they told Haman, in order to see whether Mordecai’s resolve would prevail; for he had explained to them that he was a Jew

:‫ַוַּ֣י א ָה ָ֔מ ן ִּכ י־ֵ֣אין ׇמ ְר ֳּד ַ֔כ י ֹּכֵ֥רַע ּוִֽמְׁש ַּת ֲח ֶ֖וה ֑לֹו ַוִּיָּמ ֵ֥לא ָה ָ֖מן ֵח ָֽמה‬ ‫ְר‬ When Haman saw that Mordecai would not kneel or bow low to him, Haman was filled with rage

27

EMMA WALKER

Who do we dress for? In 1975, art historian Anne Hollander postulated that images actually interfere with our reality. When people dress, they are making ‘pictures’ of themselves, to ‘suit their own eyes, out of the completed combination of clothing and body’. In truth, it seems that when we dress, we do enter into an unavoidable aesthetic dialogue with others: those are Paloma Wool, I gaze at someone’s shoes.

Perhaps they see my trench coat and recognise that instead of making an esoteric sartorial decision I am instead adhering to trends now redefined as ‘classic’ but initiated decades ago, once faded and dissolved, now bubbling back up as reincarnations of the fashion halcyon and presented as a simulacrum of history to me, the consumer. But I got mine from eBay.

26

We all play into a game when we dress; a discourse.

Who can ever appeal to real authenticity or originality in the wardrobe department? What I find striking is how long these games have been played: how they once spoke to function, performance, even fecundity.

In 16th century Germany, clothes played a founding role in making up the identity and status of the individual. Matthaeus Schwarz, a German accountant who worked for the hugely wealthy Fugger family, began to record his clothing in a costume book which has retrospectively been called the ‘first book of fashion’. The document itself tells us almost everything we know about the relationship between clothing and mercantilism during the early modern period. But, more crucially, it tells us that clothes and fashions of the day were considered just as worthy of note – just as indicative of class and taste – as we might find them to be today.

The link between clothing and identity seems obvious; at least one definition of identity is a kind of ‘self-expression’. But when studying the histories of certain identities, we wonder whether those committed to a religious or cultural identity are self-expressing, through clothing, or whether it represents something different. Commitment? Devotion? Clothes can surely oppress, if they can also unify? The Old Testament, for example, contains some cagey ideas about dressing up. Deuteronomy 22:11 states ‘Do not wear clothes of wool and linen woven together’, a rule that remains enigmatic even now. Israelites were commanded to wear tassels or fringes attached to the corners of garments to serve as a reminder to keep the Lord’s commandments. So, it seems that even G-d takes decoration into account. There were several factors which determined Jewish dress throughout the ages, often enshrined in the Halachah*. Head coverings for women, a marker of modesty, are age-old: the custom of wearing sheytls (wigs) was adapted by Jewish women in 16th century Europe. Head coverings for men have had a more contentious history. The wearing of the kippah amongst orthodox Jews only evolved in 19th century Europe, and became part of the controversy between reformists and traditional groups. In order to express their opposition to reform, the ultraorthodox began to wear a skullcap and a hat on top of it. Thus even religious dress expresses political ideas.

25

The images from the costume book elucidate not only our understanding of the performance of dress, but also early modern conceptions of gender identity. Such examples [above] show us that extravagance, colour, rich materials and opulence were actually indicators of an incredibly honourable sort of masculinity. At the time it was considered foolish to be interested in fashion in its own right, but wealthy Germans were nevertheless serious about dressing properly. In contrast to our contemporary notions of extravagant dress and lurid colour combinations as being associated with queer identity and expression, Schwarz uprooted the assumption for many of the German middle classes that fashion was merely a profligacy. Perhaps Schwarz was expressing his Catholicism, or his class, or noble intent; regardless, it is clear that these artistic commissions were an attempt to document and communicate a message.

24

So perhaps it becomes self-evident that we dress for others. Anne Hollander’s contention that we dress to suit our own eyes is probably at odds with the Bergerian idea that we exist essentially to be seen. Ezra Miller, pictured below, presents an interesting example of clothing as representing identity. Miller self-identifies as Jewish (his father is), queer, and genderfluid. Could we ascertain any of these characteristics from viewing this portrait? In many ways this editorial image is one of performance and drama. The act of modelling different clothes is, when pared down to its purest form, dressing up for the camera.

This is for everyone. So whether Miller consciously or unconsciously conforms to the sartorial dialectics about which I’ve written, perhaps clothing can be reduced to performance. And it’s a great show. *Halachah: Jewish law and jurisprudence, based on the Talmud

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YENTE PLAYLIST Don't Rain On My Parade Barbra Streissand Mi Shebeirach Debbie Friedman Od Avinu Chai DJ Kraz, Akiva Hammond, Eli Vogel The Wire Haim Hava Nagila The Jewish Starlight Orchestra Siman Tov V'Mazal Tov Mike Burstein Gotta Move Barbra Streisand Shabbos Prayer Fiddler On The Roof Nayn- Un -Nayntsik Daniel Kahn Psalm 151 Ezra Furman Gogo Mogol Amsterdam Klezmer Band If I were a Rich Man Yidcore Thelma and Louise Dyke Drama Adon Olam Chabad Religion I Gotta Feeling Black Eyed Peas

22

Nights Like These The Shondes Cecilia Simon and Garfunkel Dancing in the Dark Bruce Springsteen Raise Your Glass P!NK Tumbalalaika The Barry Sisters Queen for Tonight Helen Shapiro Jerusalem Miraah Hashem Melech Nissim Black Do You Want To Dance Bette Middler For the First Time in Forever Idina Menzel Love is A Losing Game Amy Winehouse Grow As We Go Ben Platt Papa Can You Hear Me Barbra Streisand Hallelujah Leonard Cohen So What P!NK

YENTES BE PLAYING

QUEERING THE IMAGE I feel like the queen of fashion.

I feel as happy as the sun.

I feel like a miracle has just been born or I've just been born into a new world, a new start and a new beginning.

- February 01, 2010, Age 10 -

21

Drag Race fans across the world have come to expect certain typecasts every season. The ‘look’ queen, trailing down runways in terrifyingly expensive designer dresses (I’m looking at you, Kahmora Hall) or the ‘comedy’ queen, bringing moments of relief in the uncomfortable cringe of a Rusical or talent show. In later seasons, we’ve come to expect more diverse representation: Latinx and African American queens, Middle Eastern, and even *straight* queens have made it onto the show. As such, it becomes more and more noticeable as the seasons go on that the only non-white queens that shy away from expressing their faith and ethnicity, are Jewish.

Although there have been Jewish queens casted in the past, the only queen to have expressed her Judaism on the show is Season 10’s Miz Cracker, the franchise’s ‘Jewish Barbie on Bath Salts’. Growing up in an Orthodox Jewish Community in Seattle, Miz Cracker’s drag persona, unlike her fellow Jewish counterparts, was born out of the religious angst and familial ‘balagan’ of American, Jewish life. Miz Cracker’s humour has the dry and amusing wit of your Saba’s war stories and the sharp attitude of your Safta when you tell her that, alas, you are still not engaged. Drag was a way for Cracker to channel the love of a high-strung Jewish family, just as it became a medium in which she could voice the scepticism, creativity and confusion that came with Hebrew school, lengthy seat-kicking battles at synagogue, and the fear of balancing that Jewish existence with the challenge of figuring out her sexuality.

So why is Miz Cracker’s relationship with Judaism on the show an exception, rather than the rule? It boils down to how Jews present themselves in the media. Presenting Jewish humour and fashion to a wider, non-Jewish audience relies on propagating familiar stereotypes, and ones that are often damaging to global perceptions of modern Jewry. The theorised notion of the ‘ideal’ Jewish queen is no different from the notion of the Jewish comedian, a hooked-nosed entertainer switching desperately from Holocaust jokes to stories about their mother-in-law. It has become the norm in the media - an easy way out to receive laughs and praise, whilst committing very little to finding one’s own relationship with Judaism. Creating a ‘Jewish queen’ relies on the complete deconstruction of this artificial identity, and building up as a colourful, intimate expression of one’s faith and culture, as other minority ethnic queens on the show have been able to do so well.

20

Jewish queens should not be typecast, but showcased in all their fabulous diversity - almost as diverse as Judaism itself. Whilst this is no small task, it should tell queens across the world that the inspiration for their own drag persona, and for the creation of their own authentic Jewish identity, lies no further than the pot of chicken soup bubbling away on the corner of their stove.

19

L U M I È R E

Hopefully, Miz Cracker can inspire a new form of Jewish drag, be it on RuPaul’s Drag Race or in your local bar. Drag that does not shy away from the happy chaos of a Jewish childhood, Yiddish slang and dry humour. Drag that is able to incorporate the personal relationship of an individual to their Jewish culture. The onus is not only on the auditioning queen, but on the franchise itself, to create and promote a better culture of Jewish drag. RuPaul should encourage queens to express their Jewish identity as they relate to it.

JEWISH (IN)VISIBILITY – THE CURIOUS CASE ( ) OF HELEN SHAPIRO AND AMY WINEHOUSE yet still required a homogeneity In 1961 Helen Shapiro was thrown that meant Jews would be into the spotlight when her debut single ‘Don’t Treat Me Like a Child’ required to hide their Jewishness to be accepted into society. As a was released and went straight to number three on the UK charts. She minority, Jews would be tolerated sold over two million copies and went provided they remain on the outskirts of society. There they on to tour with the Beatles in 1963.

Marketed as the British alternative to would try and engage in the paradoxically impossible process American Brenda Lee and Connie Francis, the deep timbre of Shapiro’s of assimilation. After World War voice appealed to the British audience II Jews became a positive role model for other immigrant and carved out a space for British female pop stars on the international groups in post-war England, as they knew how to remain stage. After the success of her first single, Shapiro starred in the movie ‘culturally invisible’. They would ‘It’s Trad, Dad!’ – she became one of be editors instead of writers, the most visible and famous female directors instead of actors and figures in popular culture. However, producers instead of pop stars. the one thing that was less visible was her Jewishness.

So, when Helen Shapiro came along as the perfect opportunity Shapiro was a rare example of Jews for an English Pop Star to counter being culturally visible. Antisemitism the American ones, the only thing was deeply entrenched in post-war that stood in the way of her fame British society. There was was her Jewishness. Their conservative antisemitism, where solution was to downplay her Jews were excluded from the British Jewishness: she wore Beehive identity. The other was liberal bouffant hair style, antisemitism which emphasised tolerance and assimilation,

18

JEWISH (IN)VISIBILITY – THE CURIOUS CASE ( ) OF HELEN SHAPIRO AND AMY WINEHOUSE disguising her natural hair which was a visual marker of her Jewishness. Her marketing photos always avoided a side profile so as not to invoke the antisemitic trope of the Jewish nose. On the other hand, her role in the films ‘It’s Trad, Dad!’ and ‘Play it Cool’ subtly evoked an orientalist portrayal of the ‘Jewess’: a femme fatale with a certain exoticism. This stock character derives from folklore stories about Little Saint Hugh from the Blood Libel

The Jews’ position within the culturally constructed racial category of whiteness, has changed over the 20th century from non-white to white-butother. But, even when prominent within popular culture Jews, as demonstrated by Helen Shapiro and Amy Winehouse, have been forced to select, curate and conceal certain facets of identity.

and Salome. However, Shapiro eventually converted to Messianic Judaism, potentially as an attempt to be accepted into the exclusivist

ADAM POSSENER -

organisation of ‘Englishness’.

Fast-forward 40 years and Amy Winehouse enters the scene. Although unlikely to be deliberate, she wore her hair in the same Beehive Style as Shapiro but was far more visibly Jewish. Her classification as a nice Jewish girl with a big problem both reinforces the requirement for Jewish people to be model immigrants, and also the notion that Jews are a heterogenous group. Winehouse won the best UK singer at the MOBO (Music of Black Origin) awards and was one of the few nonBlack artists to have won one of these awards in 2007, another being Jamie Cullum (who is also of Jewish heritage). This exposes the ontological weakness of the racial category that Jews sit in.

17

It's funny because people think we are a real family...

BECKY: Yo, I'll tell you what I want what I really really want, So, tell me you what you want what you really really want Yeah I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want.

So, tell me you what you want what you really really want...

Becky: Welcome to my Bat Mitzvah - Kick today is all for me. Got loads and loads of fish balls, that smell just like my nunny.

I want to huh I want to huh I want to huh I want to huh I want to really really really have a sick Bat Mitzvah

Mervyn: So, here's a story from aleph to bet/ You want to make a simcha no one ’ll forget/ You’ve got guests with the shit's you don’t want them to shvitz/ In the du-ble-u-cee/ there’s plenty of febreze for ease when you squeeze but flush it down please

It's time to party, let's all be gay My name is Becky Rimmer, I'm 12 today.

Now I'm a woman, oh thank you god Daddy is so proud that I've begun my blob.

Welcome to my Bat Mitzvah, I’m sorry to be blunt...

That’s the chocolate fountain?

It's shit you fucking cunts.

gaye: And as for me, I wipe the seat.

So, tell me you what you want what you really really want...

Mervyn & GAye: So tell us what you want what you really really want...

Get your toilet right, ‘n you won’t plutz all night.

Get your toilet right, ‘n you won’t plutz all night.

Becky: I want to huh I want to huh I want to huh I want to huh I want to really really really have a sick Bat Mitzvah.

Welcome to my Bat mitzvah, mazel tov to me.

I’m now the coolest Rimmer in Borehamwood and Elstree.

When I get Bat Mitzvah’d, I’ll be rich as fuck.

I'll still get loadsa presents, don’t need a massive schmuck.

When I get Bat Mitzvah’d, I'm ready for some fun All you Jewish mothers lock up your Jewish sons.

Welcome to my Bat Mitzvah, I hope you all have fun. I’d like to say a thank you to daddy and my mum.

Mervyn& gaye: Everybody step back Becky: Becky’s proper mature. Soon I'll develop some pubes, and little udders.

The boys all want me, cos I'm so buff.

I cannot believe that this came out mum's muff.

16

Welcome to my Bat Mitzvah, I wanna I wanna I wanna I wanna have fun fun fun fun...

It's funny because people think we are a real family...

It's funny because people think we are a real family...

It's funny because people think we are a real family...

cause people thinkthink we are reala real family...

It'sfunny funnybecause becausepeople peoplethink thinkwe weare area areal realfamily... family...It's ny because because people people think weaare we are real family...It's It'sfunny funny because people think we aare a family... real family...

It's funny because people think we are a real family...

Get your presents out and give them to me now, get your presents out and give them to me now The Rimmers (2022) - Alex Eisenberg, Candy Gigi and Tom Joseph Huh huh huh huh So, tell me you what you want It'swhat funnyyou because people think want... we are a real family...

It's funny because people think we are a real family... really really

"YOU

, DON'T

LOOK

JEWISH" I get this quite a lot. On the surface, I imagine it appears innocuous, a common and unproblematic response to "I am Jewish". It shouldn't be. What I feel and do and look like and believe in and call myself and what I therefore am do not all seem to be congruous or especially cohesive with one another, even before considering how other people perceive me. Telling someone they do or don't look like what they are is not your prerogative. I don't wish to hear it.

Except for the fact that I kind of do. What people are trying to say is: "I am usually able to tell who is Jewish by looking at them, because they have a distinct, noticeable look- but you don't!" And obviously this is stereotyped and obviously this is antisemitic. But I know that it's meant to be a compliment; it makes me feel like I've got away with something, as though my Jewish identity is something I can turn on and off based on the situation.

According to these sharp-eyed goys, I don't have to wear it like a Magen David all the time.

I don't think being Jewish is a thing that you have to look like to be. And here I am, complaining in the media. So maybe now I look Jewish.

HANNAH

DAVIS

15

KING A You do? Oh, how wonderful! What’s your name?

ESTHER My name is Esther. My hobbies are bee-keeping and climate change activism. I enjoy reading Virginia Woolf and other female authors of the 20th Century, embroidered images of Frida Khalo, and I’ve got a massive crush on Villanelle from Killing Eve.

KING A You do? No way! So do I! ESTHER Should we watch it together - Netflix and chill sometime?

KING A It’s on!

HAMAN But sire, you’ve already seen Killing Eve three times!

KING A Haman, you’re such a downer!

Go away and find something to do with yourself. This enby is going to be my new queen!

14

Esther Two 2 ‫ַוֹּיאְמ ֥רּו ַנֲעֵֽרי־ַה ֶּ֖מֶל ְך ְמ ָׁש ְר ָ֑תיו ְיַב ְק ׁ֥שּו ַל ֶּ֛מֶל ְך ְנָע ֥רֹות ְּב תּו֖לֹות טֹו֥בֹות ַמ ְר ֶֽאה׃‬ The king’s servants who attended him said, “Let beautiful young virgins be sought out for Your Majesty ‫ְו ַיְפ ֵ֨קד ַה ֶּ֣מֶל ְך ְּפ ִק יִד י֮ם ְּב ׇכ ל־ְמ ִד י֣נֹות ַמ ְל כּותֹ֒ו ְו ִיְק ְּב ֣צּו ֶא ת־ׇּכ ל־ַנֲעָֽרה־ְ֠בתּוָ֠ל ה טֹוַ֨בת‬ ‫ַמ ְר ֶ֜אה ֶא ל־ׁש ּוַׁ֤שן ַה ִּב יָר ֙ה ֶא ל־ֵּ֣בית ַה ָּנִׁ֔שים ֶא ל־ַ֥יד ֵה ֶ֛גא ְס ִ֥ריס ַה ֶּ֖מֶל ְך ֹׁשֵ֣מר ַה ָּנִׁ֑שים‬ ‫ְו ָנ֖תֹון ַּת ְמ ֻר ֵק יֶֽהן׃‬

Let Your Majesty appoint officers in every province of your realm to assemble all the beautiful young virgins at the fortress Shushan, in the harem under the supervision of Hege, the king’s eunuch, guardian of the women. Let them be provided with their cosmetics ‫ַוִּת יַ֨טב ַה ַּנֲעָ֣רה ְב ֵעיָני֮ו ַוִּת ָּׂ֣שא ֶ֣חֶס ד ְל ָפ ָני֒וַ֠וְיַב ֵ֠ה ל ֶא ת־ַּת ְמ רּוֶ֤קיָה ְו ֶא ת־ָמ נֹוֶ֙תָ֙ה ָלֵ֣תת ָ֔ל ּה ְו ֵא ֙ת‬ ‫ֶׁ֣שַב ע ַה ְּנָע ֔רֹות ָה ְר ֻא ֥יֹות ָֽלֶת ת־ָ֖לּה ִמ ֵּ֣בית ַה ֶּ֑מֶל ְך ַוְיַׁש ֶּ֧נָה ְו ֶא ת־ַנֲערֹוֶ֛תיָה ְל ֖טֹוב ֵּ֥בית ַה ָּנִֽׁשים׃‬

The girl pleased him and won his favor, and he hastened to furnish her with her cosmetics and her rations, as well as with the seven maids who were her due from the king’s palace; and he treated her and her maids with special kindness in the harem.

‫ֹלא־ִה ִּ֣גיָד ה ֶא ְס ֵּ֔ת ר ֶא ת־ַע ָּ֖מּה ְו ֶא ת־ֽמֹוַלְד ָּ֑תּה ִּ֧כי ׇמ ְר ֳּד ַ֛כי ִצ ָּ֥וה ָע ֶ֖ליָה ֲא ֶׁ֥שר‬ }‫ֹלא־ַת ִּֽגיד׃ {ס‬

Esther did not reveal her people or her kindred, for Mordecai had told her not to reveal it.

13

@M.XENGIMA

@M.XENGIMA

12

11

Hannah kieve

Posing nude

Zaydeh says that nice Jewish girls don't remove their clothes for kind strangers.

The warm light of a seminar room:

My greatest insecurities On display, up for debate, Longing for liberation.

Mother laughed down phone when I told her.

Art; Immortalised.

the

My curves grace the white pages, Illuminated by colour and charcoal.

10

life drawing class2/ 2022

04/02/2022

9

8

7

One way of exploring my gender identity has been through drag and dressing up as a drag king. It has been a way for me to experience gender euphoria and has become increasingly important to my gender identity.

One day I was chatting to a childhood synagogue friend Chanya about existing as queer, trans, jewish people and the role of performance in gender expression, and we hit upon the idea of a Zoom drag Purim production. - Naomi Narrator: So now it’s time for our Purim spiel! We thought in the spirit of Kehillah, we would take a fresh look at the story.

Perhaps it’s not entirely the way you remember - we’ve given it a bit of a modern twist, but you’ll find all the main plot points you know and love are there! We start with King Achashverosh and his royal councillor, the evil Haman….

A: WELCOME EVERYBODY, WELCOME! I’m overjoyed to have you all here.

H:The special wine, your lordship? The special wine that JewPaul gave you when you funded the entire series of Chag race two years ago?

A: Yes, that wine. Now go! I’ll have some gin in the meantime.

[Downs a row of glasses labelled ‘gin’ in rapid succession].

Now go get my wife, so I can show her off in front of the lads.

And make sure she’s naked. Wearing only her crown.

Kehillah North London Purim Drag script

6

Esther one2

‫ַּב ּיֹו֙ם ַה ְּׁש ִב יִ֔ע י ְּכ ֥טֹוב ֵלב־ַה ֶּ֖מֶל ְך ַּב ָּ֑יִין ָא ַ֡מ ר ִ֠ל ְמ הּוָ֠מ ן ִּב ְּזָ֨תא ַח ְר בֹוָ֜נא ִּב ְג ָ֤תא‬ ‫ַוֲא ַב ְג ָת ֙א ֵזַ֣תר ְו ַכ ְר ַּ֔כ ס ִׁש ְב ַע ֙ת ַה ָּ֣סִר יִ֔ס ים ַה ְמ ָׁ֣שְר ִ֔ת ים ֶא ת־ְּפ ֵ֖ני ַה ֶּ֥מֶל ְך ֲא ַח ְׁש ֵוֽר ֹוׁש ׃‬ On the seventh day, when the king was merry with wine, he ordered Mehuman, Bizzetha, Harbona, Bigtha, Abagtha, Zethar, and Carcas, the seven eunuchs in attendance with King Ahasuerus

‫ְ֠ל ָה ִ֠ביא ֶא ת־ַוְׁש ִּ֧תי ַה ַּמ ְל ָּ֛כה ִל ְפ ֵ֥ני ַה ֶּ֖מֶל ְך ְּב ֶ֣כֶת ר ַמ ְל ֑כּות ְל ַה ְר ֨אֹות ָֽהַע ִּ֤מים‬ ‫ְו ַה ָּׂש ִר י֙ם ֶא ת־ׇיְפ ָ֔יּה ִּֽכי־טֹוַ֥בת ַמ ְר ֶ֖אה ִֽהיא׃‬ to bring Queen Vashti before the king wearing a royal diadem, to display her beauty to the peoples and the officials; for she was a beautiful woman.

‫ַוְּת ָמ ֵ֞אן ַה ַּמ ְל ָּ֣כה ַוְׁש ִּ֗תי ָלבֹו֙א ִּב ְד ַ֣בר ַה ֶּ֔מ ֶל ְך ֲא ֶׁ֖שר ְּב ַ֣יד ַה ָּס ִר יִ֑סים ַוִּיְק ֹ֤צף‬ ‫ַה ֶּ֙מֶלְ֙ך ְמ ֹ֔א ד ַוֲח ָמ ֖תֹו ָּב ֲעָ֥רה ֽבֹו׃‬ But Queen Vashti refused to come at the king’s command conveyed by the eunuchs. The king was greatly incensed, and his fury burned within him.

‫ִּֽכי־ֵיֵ֤צא ְד ַב ר־ַה ַּמ ְל ָּכ ֙ה ַע ל־ׇּכ ל־ַה ָּנִׁ֔שים ְל ַה ְב ֥זֹות ַּב ְע ֵליֶ֖הן ְּב ֵעיֵניֶ֑הן ְּב ׇא ְמ ָ֗רם‬ ‫ַה ֶּ֣מֶל ְך ֲא ַח ְׁש ֵו֡ר ֹוׁש ָא ַ֞מ ר ְל ָה ִ֨ביא ֶא ת־ַוְׁש ִּ֧תי ַה ַּמ ְל ָּ֛כה ְל ָפ ָ֖ניו ְו ֹלא־ָֽבָא ה׃‬ For the queen’s behavior will make all wives despise their husbands, as they reflect that King Ahasuerus himself ordered Queen Vashti to be brought before him, but she would not come.

5

CONTENTS

4

naked art 8 life drawing class 9 posing nude 10 my fat jewish body 11 the orange qween 12 you don't look jewish 15 "wanabee".

16 jewish (in) visibility 18 shantay, oy vey 20 queering the image 21 yente playlist 22 costume & masquerade 26 contemplations 30 if i believed in God 31

francesca magnus yente hannah kieve ava sharpe mx.enigma hannah davis the rimmers adam possener lumière talia barnoy yente emma walker lily sheldon leah mitchell

"the bride" dear ima letter to antisemites epigenetics clockwork tzimtzum queer and jewish capture revealing the rainbow i have an old soul praise kink learning about my opa Miriam & Rem God of vengeance. vashti in the bath it's hot that you're jewish identity revenge hamantaschen recipe kohenet's corner

32 34 37 38 40 41 44 47 53 54 55 56 58 62 66 67 68 70 72 74

yael roberts anonymous 16 kate greenberg indigo fera anonymous natalia perman maya robinson liv kunins berkowitz holly howell diana story miz gwendy davenport

anya gera noga levy-rapoport mollie leibowitz riss koupf julia hegel jonty bromfield yente sara moon

3

Setting: A cramped and musty Jewish centre on a Friday night. Cheder tables are covered with reusable table cloths. Six Yentes being Yentes are gathered round a table with other Yentes. They are slurping on boiling hot vegetarian chicken soup, shvitzing, kvitching, kvetching, and kvelling when suddenly...

Yente 1: Oy gavolt, I have an idea. As we are so "quirky cool" we should makes a new publication about ourselves.

Yente 2: Oy, and what if we made the first edition about Purim?

Yente 3: Oy, and what if we made it a zine but wrote it from right to left?

Yente 4: Oy, and what if we made it queer by interspersing bits from a synagogues' already written drag shpiel?

Yente 5: Oy, and what if we ensured the continuity of the mesmorising Jewish masoret (tradition) by modernising the masterful text through using excerpts from the mulish Megillah (scroll) and choosing specific themes to piece together the age old story but also adding our own take by focusing on Vashti andYente 6 (interrupts Yente 5) : Oy, and what if Yentes from far and wide could submit submissions related to themes from the Purim story?

ALL THE YENTES GASP AND OY IN UNISON

2

AND THEN SOMETHING FREAKY HAPPENED.....

YENTE [yen-teh] yente is a word derived from the yiddish language meaning: 1) a gossipy woman, a blabbermouth 2) someone who can't keep a secret 3) a vulgar, ill-mannered man/woman

1