Issuu on Google+

Yale Bulldog Days 2014 • Calendar of Events


Tuesday, April 22nd, 2014  Yale:00 pm • Yale and Yale at Yale Yale. [Yale.] 3:00 - 4:00 pm • Master Class: Introduction to Psych with Marvin Chun Yale’s most renowned psychologist guides you through the wacky adventures of Shawn and Gus, in their first four episodes. [Luce Hall.] 3:00 - 4:00 pm • Introduction to Stalking Attractive People you see at Yale Practical lessons, like how not to type their name into the status bar rather than the search bar on Facebook. [WLH 211.]

3:00 - 4:00 pm • Learning to not be Stalked as an Attractive Person Those interested in attending should submit a headshot to the Yale Rumpus. [WLH 211.] 4:00 - 5:00 pm • Master Class: Learning to Loathe the Harkness Bells, with the residents of Branford Suite C-31 Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding. Dong. [Branford Suite C-31.] 4:00 pm - 5:00 pm • Come Help Us Fix Our Computers with the Yale Student Techs Why does this thing keep popping up? [Bass Media Lab.]

 Yale Recommended Event


5:00 -6:00 pm • Drinks with the Yale Class of 1957 Club Come along, chaps, for a swell time with all your favorite gents. BYOB (Bring Your Own Butler). [Mory’s.] 7:00 - 8:00 pm • Trying out Kinky Moves with the Yale Chess Club We’ll definitely teach you how to mate and make a connection en passant. [WLH 119.] 8:00 - 9:00 pm • Spooning with the Yale Dining Staff They made your lunch, now they’ll make your night. Come join us for some cuddling and canoodling. Forking may follow. [Swingers Space.] 8:30 - 9:30 pm • Plotting the Perfect Murder with the Training Eagle Assassins (TEA) Club Have you ever dreamed of offing your enemies with a single strike of talons? Excellent. [Old Campus] 9:00 - 10:00 pm • An Ice Cream Anti-Social Come for the ice cream, leave because of other people. [Rosenfeld Hall.]

10:00 - 11:30 pm • A night with the Computer Science Department Join us as we consider the future of machine learning and vivisect a virgin she-goat. [AKW Hall.] 10:30 pm - 12:00 am • Overreacting to Friends’ Texts, with the Yale Melodramat Learn the difference between “hey” and “heyyyy.” [Yale Repertory Theater.] 11:00 pm - until • Finding a Boyfriend, with the Loneliest Boy on Campus Attractive Girls Welcome. [Bass Library.]  12:00 - 1:00 am • Beer Pong with Ronnell Higgins, Yale Police Department It’s not a trap. Bring your friends and all your marijuanas to YPD (It’s a frat, trust us)! [101 Ashmun Street.] 12:00 - 1:00 am • Respecting the Role of Women with DKE An hour of honest, open discussion about rape culture and beer pong in today’s society. [DKE.]

 Yale Recommended Event


Wednesday, April 23rd, 2014 All day • Saying No to the Homeless with YHHAP Please come help us out, if you have a moment. No? Well, thanks anyway. God bless you. [Everywhere.]

3:00 - 3:50 pm • Master Class: How to Get Into Yale with Yale Admissions Finally learn all the secrets to success! It’s money. [38 Hillhouse Avenue.]

 11:00 am - 12:00 pm • Let Us Crush You with Yale Rugby An open practice with Yale’s premier club sports team. Pain is just a state of mind. [IM Fields.]

5:15 - 6:15 pm • Master Class: Mindfulness Meditation, with Master Yoda Sign up for a panlist, you will. [Dagobah Room, Branford College.]

12:00 - 1:00 pm • Baseball Tryouts by Coach John Stupo How to Get to Third Base ;-) [2nd Base.]

6:00 - 7:00 pm • International Students Clique-Forming Session ざなぱそずきぁ [倳倵偂偖]

1:00 - 1:30 pm • Master Class: How to Open Gates, with Dean Mary Miller Push, pull, right, left, harder. [Phelps Gate.] 2:00 - 3:00 pm• Introduction to Name-Dropping with Directed Studies Learn to sneak obscure literary references into everyday conversation better than Kant argues for synthetic a priori judgments. [WLH 007.]

8:00 - 8:30 pm • Exploring Privilege with the Yale WASP Cultural House Enjoy ethnic foods, like bread with cheese. [Prescott Bush WASP Cultural House] 9:00 - 10:00 pm • A Night of A Cappella with the Jizzwinks (!) Featuring such classic hits as The Sound of Silence, Summertime, and Midnight Train to Georgia. Also, semen. [Sudler Hall, WLH.]

 Yale Recommended Event


10:00 pm - until • Crying Yourself to Sleep with The Yale Herald Our second-most-common use for tissues. [305 Crown St.]

12:00 - 1:00 am • Learning to Recite the Alphabet Backward with SAE It’s as easy as ABD! [SAE.]

11:00 pm - 1:00 am • Getting Mugged on the New Haven Green Meet interesting people. [New Haven Green.]

12:00 pm - 1:00 pm • Samosas and Sammy Sosas Actually only one Sammy Sosa. [Dominican-Indian House.]

Thursday, April 24th, 2014 10:00 am - 11:00 am • Skull and Bones Signups Join the organization that’s placed such important Yalies as George Bush, George Bush, and Prescott Bush. [64 High Street.]

11:30 am - 12:30 pm • Master Class: Happiness, with the Philosophy Department This event has been cancelled, as the Philosophy Department has been killed in a bus accident.

10:30 - 11:30 am • Master Class: Look at All that Shit Up There, with the Yale Astronomy Department What the fuck is that sparklyass shit? Stars? Yeah, you’d better believe those are fucking stars. Fuck yeah. Space, bitches. [Davies Auditorium.]

 12:45 pm - 1:30 pm • Saying Goodbye to These Friends You’ll Never See Again If you come to this event, you’re already doing it wrong. [Old Campus]

11:00 am - 12:00 pm • Race with Yale Cross Country An in-depth discussion of institutionalized racism - one problem we can’t run away from. [Ray Tomkins Field House.]

All day • Not Being Sued for Trademark Infringement by Making a Fake Bulldog Days Publication with the Yale Record This is a parody. It is completely false, and now you can’t sue us.See: 17 U.S.C. § 107

 Yale Recommended Event


This work of parody brought to you by:

Interested in humor writing, art, design, business, publicity, or online? Join us for jokes and pizza at our staff meeting!

Tuesday, April 22 nd, 2014 at 9:30 pm in WLH 203 And while you’re here, stop by and enjoy the talents of lots of funny people at Yale’s oldest (and best) stand-up comedy show,

The Cucumber! Nick Chapel Theater (Trumbull College) Wednesday, April 23 rd, 2014 at 10:30 pm Thank you Yorkside! Lunch, Dinner, or a midnight snack at Yorkside Pizza, 11:00 am-1:30 am: Without them, this pamphlet wouldn't be possible. If you need a place to eat, Yorkside has variety and crazy-late hours on its side.


Yorkside welcomes admitted students! We are open for lunch, dinner, and late-night until 1:30 am.

Directions: Directions:

From PayneWhitney: Whitney:Take Takethethe stairs between Morse From Payne stairs between Morse and and colleges. Theneast, walk east, pastPlace EzraEzra StilesStiles colleges. Then walk past Toad’s Toad’s (not the Yale Bookstore). Turn rightand on (not thePlace Yale Bookstore). Turn right on York Street, York Street, and Yorkside is just a few steps away. Yorkside is just a few steps away. From Old Old Campus: Campus:Walk Walktotothe theElm Elm Street Gate Street Gate andand turn turn left. Walk until youthe reach AuofBon then left. Walk until you reach corner YorkPain, and Elm, turn right,right, and and Yorkside is just a few steps away! then turn Yorkside is just a few steps away!


The 2014 Bulldog Days Supplemental