It never goes how I planned
Brianna Skalicky
There’s a one sided conversation going on inside my head. The same conversation I almost initiated three years ago When your family was getting ready for bed and it was just us in the kitchen And you were going on and on about how Taylor Swift can’t sing And I’m freaking out inside because your brown eyes are staring into my blue ones And I suddenly feel like I’m going to throw up but I know if I don’t say what I’m feeling now I never will And I open my mouth to tell you and nothing comes out. The cold air that I inhaled turns to warm air that I’ve exhaled And my hands began to shake because you’re waiting for me to say something And I’m feeling like an idiot because I can’t remember how to say anything. And all I can hear is water running in the bathroom, someone snoring loudly, and the clock ticking behind your head. The silence is awkward and I can’t come up with a joke to fill it So you smile sweetly, give me a hug and say “goodnight” And I feel a thousand pounds heavier as I walk out to my car. Goosebumps cover my skin as I collapse into the front seat And as the front porch light goes off, I whisper into the infinite blackness “I Love You” Like it’s a secret said to no one but the darkness and me.
14
