Issue 3 • 2013
ONECHILD ONEHOUR ONECHURCH ONESCHOOL
“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” – Mother Teresa
The gift of giving The fragrance of cinnamon, cloves, apple and turkey waft from the kitchen, while under the Christmas tree, the baby is chewing the wrapping paper off a brightly wrapped present. This scene is probably familiar to many of us, as year by year we come together to celebrate the birth of our Saviour. The sounds of wrapping paper being ripped, and the excited squeals of children, are sometimes followed by tears, or a pouty “Is this all we got?” And as adults we are left wondering, “Why do our children appear so ungrateful?” The truth is that our children are immersed in a society which so often emphasises the “getting” and not the “giving” of Christmas. How do we move our kids from a sense of entitlement and expectation of getting gifts galore, to an attitude of wanting to give to others in need? To put it plainly, how do we instil the gift of giving in our children? Dr Marie Hartwell-Walker, a psychologist and marriage and family therapist, writes about the benefits of helping our children think about giving, and not only receiving: “Alfred Adler, an early 20th-century psychologist, believed that good mental health is a consequence of our ‘social interest,’ our concern for our fellow human-beings. People whose focus is on helping others, not just getting for themselves, are people who
are happiest and most fulfilled. People who are generous and thoughtful of others are less anxious, less depressed, and feel more connected with their community ... By teaching our children the joy of giving, not just receiving, we show them how to be mentally healthy and how to live well with others. Like most values, social interest isn’t something we can just assume children will understand. Teaching them that making a gift is an act of thoughtfulness, not just something to get out of the way, takes time and patience. Modeling, coaching, and actively involving our kids in the art of giving instils the habit. It’s important to teach that making a gift is not about going to the local dollar store and throwing stuff in a basket. It’s about thinking hard about what the receiver might like and matching a gift to his or her interests and tastes. It’s important to show our children that the amount of money spent is nowhere near as important as the amount of thought. It’s important to talk about the fact that the gifts that are most appreciated are those that are most personal. And it’s important to show them that sometimes time, not stuff, is the perfect way to say ‘I love you.’” http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-gift-of-giving/0001540
Happy Christmas everyone!