A RESOLUTION FOR SELF-HEALING

By Nayan Rath

“As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.” -Maya Angelou.

Savita lost her only child to Pneumonia and went into silence for days together without tears. When heartbreaks and death knock us down, we get immobilized in painful feelings. Each feeling is different; every hurt is personal, and no advice can heal the deep wound. Sometimes we overlook the cut inside and start moving with broken emotions and making life worse. Pain seeks attention it needs acknowledgment and embraces before we finally move on.

She was alive but forgot to live, being away from everything. The mishap made her feel undeserving of happiness. Reluctantly she joined group healing sessions. She broke down on the very first day, saying, ‘My daughter….my baby!’. Struggling hard to keep her composure, she burst out loudly. Suddenly another intuitive lady came closer, held her tight, and said, “I lost a child too. I was saddened.

My purposeless living hurt my well-wishers who still care for me. Once my emotions murmured in my ears. Hey! You have some processing to do to identify yourself. I made a new beginning here.”

Savita fell back into her seat and let her tears flow. While devastated by her vulnerability, the group makes room for her pain. Sharing her emotions compassionately, she became a regular attendee. Slowly, she realized that the best way to honour her daughter’s absence was to find a new way to embrace life with cruel eventualities.

Start the self-healing process.

Honour Your Pain. Hurt is inevitable, and pain is unavoidable. Acknowledge your pain and permit yourself to grieve. Emotional scars are beyond sadness. Don’t try to “Get over it, but through them.” Surround yourself with friends who understand and fill you up. Allow negative emotions to flow, and it will help you stop ruminating.

Proper Sleep Schedule. Getting sound sleep helps you to heal emotional hurt. Get your sleep strategy. Stay away from electronic gadgets one hour before bedtime and meditate. You may live with the pain, but healing is still possible with rational acceptance. Don’t fret: Your pain will be waiting for you to engulf, but this time you’ll be better sorted and brave enough to face it.

Move On

Some overwhelmed people allow suffering to define them, which steals life’s ultimate meaning. It becomes your lifestyle when you focus on small changes within your reach to better care for yourself over the long term.

Give yourself time to get up after mourning. Reach out to others for support and make space for your recovery.

Think and repair broken emotions.

It’s important to seek relief through compassion for yourself. No guilt! No self-attack. Everybody’s process of reconciliation and selflove is different. It helps us explore where exactly our power lies. Creative activities like journaling and expressing pain through art or play; provide a safe space to step into reality and face life with resilience.

Reach out to others

Being alone may be the beginning of healing, but continuous isolation hinders healthy moves to grow stronger. Deep pain always brings out personal insecurities, self-blame, and bitterness of victimhood. Such choices breed entrapment, not freedom. Allow the negative emotions to flow. Reach out to friends, practice mindfulness, find support groups, and seek comfort from whatever brings you peace of mind.

Don’t wait for the miracle to happen; create one.

Stop replaying the situation over and over

Admitting the situation and talking about it is good. But if you keep on doing it without direction, it will go from helpful to harmful mode. So while assessing, ask yourself honestly, ‘what am I getting by talking about it? Do I deny the reality hoping to get a different answer?’ This is not closing your wounds; it’s reopening and undoing all the hard work to distract yourself.

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