HER WORKING MAMA STORY

By Elize Fisher

CHANIQUE ZWARTZ, INTERNAL AUDIT MANAGER AND MOM TO THREE KIDS, 9-, 6-, AND 1-YEAR OLD

Who cares for your kids while you are at work, if at all?

My baby is currently taken care of by my Mom, who fortunately lives only a few minutes away. My boys are both at primary school and have extra mural activities that keep them busy after school, after which they come home. Both my husband and I currently have hybrid work-from-home arrangements. On the days we are not home, the boys join their sister at their grandparents’ home.

What keeps your plate full these days? What’s your job?

I have a very demanding day job which keeps me busy from at least 8 am - 4 pm daily. My work is very people-focused, so while it is hectic, it keeps me energised. My children’s school and sports activities keep me busy after hours and sometimes during the day.

My oldest is very active, so we always attend sports matches, transport him to practices, etc. The boys also have hectic social lives, which we play chauffeur. Our one-year-old keeps us on our toes as she enters that mobile stage. So our plates are overflowing with ensuring that we try and give each child what they need, as they are all very different.

What does your day-to-day look like, and how do you juggle it with kids?

Could you walk us through your typical day?

Shoo! Where do I begin? Despite the many balls I juggle, the household runs smoothly as I always plan, adapt, and multitask. My day starts with an early morning feed with the baby (if I am lucky, she sleeps in a bit). Followed by getting the kids ready for school (dressed, fed, and daily lunchboxes).

Once the kids are off to school, I prepare green juice and pack our lunches (usually prepped the night before). Quick tidying up before getting showered and ready for work.

After work (home or office), I fetch my daughter, followed by some playtime with her while the boys do their thing.

Twice a week, my Hubby and I would go for a run, which means the kids stay for a bit longer at granny.

Preparation of supper and the next day’s lunch is up next. Family dinner time! School time prep for me (putting out the next day’s clothes, checking bags, etc.) while kids play and Hubby clears the kitchen. Bath time follows. As the boys go to bed, the baby is fed and put to bed.

If I don’t fall asleep while putting her down, I will have some downtime (if the laundry is up to date, if not, we do a load of washing and hang it out. Bedtimes follow with one or two night feeds after that.

Do you work because you want to, need to, or combine both?

What’s your honest answer to the question, “Why do you work?”

I work (my current career) because I need to, but I do want to work, although I am hoping for a career change. I love spending time with my family, and I would like the flexibility to enjoy milestones with them but I could never be a full-time stay-athome mom.

How does being a working mom impact your kids positively or negatively?

We can’t have one without the other; negative is when they need me, and I can’t be there, which does not happen often, but I have had to leave a sick child at home in the past. But it’s primarily positive. I always explain to my kids why I have to work and why other parents work, which teaches accountability. Still, it helps them to understand that as a Mom, I have many roles, and while motherhood is an essential job for me, there are times that I may have to see to my other functions. It helps my kids set realistic expectations of us as parents. In addition, this helps my kids realize that as you are in someone’s life, they can’t always be present or see to your needs immediately.

Once the kids are off to school, I prepare green juice and pack our lunches (usually prepped the night before). Quick tidying up before getting showered and ready for work. After work (home or office), I fetch my daughter, followed by some playtime with her while the boys do their thing. Twice a week, my Hubby and I would go for a run, which means the kids stay for a bit longer at granny.

Preparation of supper and the next day’s lunch is up next. Family dinner time! School time prep for me (putting out the next day’s clothes, checking bags, etc.) while kids play and Hubby clears the kitchen. Bath time follows. As the boys go to bed, the baby is fed and put to bed.

If I don’t fall asleep while putting her down, I will have some downtime (if the laundry is up to date, if not, we do a load of washing and hang it out. Bedtimes follow with one or two night feeds after that.

What’s one thing or resource that, if you had, would make your working Mom’s life easier?

Daily cooked meals and healthy prepped snacks, even though I spend a little time in the kitchen, it is still too much and a consistently empty laundry basket!

How would you encourage other working moms who are overwhelmed? What would you say to someone who’s in your shoes?

Stop, take a step back, and reflect. Ask yourself what is causing you to feel overwhelmed. Often as moms, we put enormous pressure on ourselves to run things perfectly or to be expected. If something is causing you stress and you are by the means to outsource the “problem,” do it (there is no shame in getting help!!)

By the same token, if someone offers you support that you know you need, accept the help; it does take a village. And lastly, if tasks that overwhelm you don’t add to your happiness and quality of life, stop focusing on them. So what if your child is happy to sleep in an unmade bed or enjoys wearing mismatched shoes (mine does)? Let them be!

Any last words about your experience as a working mompositive or negative? Anything we didn’t ask?

Our children are growing up in a world that is so different from ours. While our children are exposed to many things, we unknowingly shield and box them in. We often make our kids rigid without realising it, just giving them what they prefer and making them highly comfortable (which is lovely). But we need to actively try to teach our kids adaptability, especially now while they are so resilient. Let them try new things, change their favourite brands, and give them something they didn’t expect. Show them that there are many ways to get one desired outcome. Also, let’s teach our kids that kindness is king, everyone is different, and everyone’s right.

Follow on Instagram: @chanique_zwartz

JOY BORAINE IS A SENIOR VALUER AND MOM OF FOUR: 19-,13-,11- AND 9-YEAR-OLDS.

Who cares for your kids while you are at work, if at all?

My eldest daughter is at college and is living with her father. My son is at boarding school in another town, and my two younger children live with me. They have to stay home alone when I am at work and when they are not at school. Fortunately, I can check in on them regularly if they are alone and ask my neighbours to keep an eye on them while I’m away.

What keeps your plate full these days? What’s your job? I am a Senior Valuer at the Local Authority, a Career Mentor, Mother, Cell Group Leader, Guitarist, and Karateka.

What does your day-to-day look like, and how do you juggle it with kids? Could you walk us through your typical day? I wake up at 4 am, open the doors and windows, feed the cats, and settle down for 30min spiritual devotion. Then I start getting ready for work, wake the kids, feed the dogs, and by 6:30 am, we are out of the house. I drop my kids at school and go to the gym for a 20 to 30 min run. I get to work, get a cuppa and start my day. I use a personal planner, so I juggle my daily tasks between my work and personal responsibilities.

I am goal driven, so my planner has habit trackers and schedules that I need to complete daily to reach my weekly, monthly, and annual goals. I pick the kids up after school and extra murals and drop them at home. Luckily they are of the age where they can prepare a light meal for themselves if I didn’t cook the night before. Before I finish work for the day, I go through my planner and prepare for the next day - work and personal. I get home at 5 pm. Mondays and Wednesdays are karate practice with my son until 7 pm while the other two finish homework and make sandwiches for us to eat for supper. The rest of the evening is for homework, projects, reading, playing with the pets, cleaning, doing laundry, packing lunch for the next day, and making dinner for the next day. It is all on the pre-scheduled plan so that we can keep on top of the housework. When the kids are asleep, I catch up on unfinished work then I take 30 min to complete whatever I am busy studying. I’m an eternal student. Currently, it’s music theory through Udemy.

Hopefully, next year I can complete my Degree in Public Administration if my bursary gets approved at work. By 10 pm, I pack my things for the next day, work outfit, gym clothes, work bag, and lunch. I find little time for reading a book because of my schedule, but I use school holidays for reading my fiction favourites. And that’s my day. Weekends are for resting, planning, and cooking for the week ahead, church, and spending quality time with each child.

What holds immense tension for you in managing everything (e.g., childcare, meals, mom guilt, friendship, being a single mom, your marriage, etc.)?

Finances and not always being able to say yes to things immediately

Do you work because you want to, need to, or combine both?

What’s your honest answer to the question, “Why do you work?”

I work because I have to, but I also love what I do and my current profession.

How does being a working mom impact your kids positively or negatively?

I believe it influences them positively as I set an example for them as adults.

What’s one thing or resource that, if you had, would make your working Mom’s life easier?

I am working towards securing passive income to free up more time to pursue my interest and the interests of my children. I don’t need more money; I need to work effectively with the money I get.

Any last words about your experience as a working mom - positive or negative? Anything we didn’t ask?

Don’t try to multitask! Do one task at a time, or break down a big task into smaller segments and focus on that one small task. Multitasking can quickly become overwhelming and leave us feeling like we haven’t accomplished anything.