THE HEART OF A FEMALE DRUMMER DR. TALAYA WALLER THE FUTURE OF BRANDING IS PERSONAL
LIFE SPEAKS CARLEEN ELISA
FAITHFUL CHICS BOUTIQUE CRYSTAL PERKINS ANI'T NOBODY STOPPING YOU, BUT YOU DR. CHERITA WEATHERSPOON
A MESSAGE FROM THE EDITOR IN CHIEF MICHELLE WASHINGTON Dreams really do come true! Between the ages of 9 and 12 years old, I discovered a passion for speaking and playing the drums. My passion and love developed well before any opportunity to walk in this calling. During those years, I watched people that were doing what I knew I was purposed to do - even my father, who was a pastor. I would watch in amazement at how he would inspire people. As I write this, I can picture myself as a little girl staring at him while he preached in the pulpit or when he would have a conversation with the community. When it came to my passion for playing the drums, I was awestruck by Sheila E. I would sneak to watch her videos and listen to her music because as a PK (Preacher’s Kid) I wasn’t allowed to play this kind of music in the house or watch videos. And, to top it off, Sheila E. was a “girl”! Oh no, that was totally out of bounds. So, I had to practice in my bedroom using pillows for drums and my dresser as the stand to teach and inspire my stuffed animals. Even back then I was patient but persistent with what I wanted. I knew I needed to be ready for the opportunity I always wanted. At that time, my brother played the drums at our church in Philly. I would watch and wait for my chance to play. Finally, my opportunity arrived. Once I played, I never stopped. I eventually became the church’s drummer. Fast forward to when I started Women of MORE Magazine. Sheila E. was one of the women I wanted to have as a cover girl. For this dream to now become a reality is overwhelming, an honor, and simply incredible. The point of me sharing this story is for you to know what it took for the moment to manifest. It took faith, work, persistence, and patience. Whatever you desire, know that it will require all the above and more. I took what I had and the expectancy of what was to come, and I used it. What I thought was impossible became possible. What do you desire? What do you dream about? What do you see yourself doing? I promise you, the moment you step out in the area you absolutely want to do or be, it will happen. But remember, you have to remain faithful to the process and work your faith. Guess what? There’s MORE to YOU than what you’re doing right now.
www.indianatuggle.com Facebook | Twitter: @Indiana Tuggle Instagram: @AuthorIndianaTuggle “Please don’t leave me.” I felt the tremble in my voice and attempted to hold back the tears. How did I get here? Who is this woman sitting on this bed, face clutched in the palm of her hands, crying profusely while watching him walk out the door? Who is this woman now seated in shame and defeat, who just six months earlier celebrated six years of abstinence and an unbreakable bond to God? Who is this woman, proclaimed to be Ms. Independent, groveling and casting her pearls before swine? Time didn’t heal the wound. It only intensified my loneliness. Once again I went searching, allowed lust to win, and fell for the counterfeit. Time is not equipped to heal wounds. Healing comes when we confront the hurt and place it in God’s hand. That day I came faceto-face with the abandonment and rejection of my past. I was looking for men to be the father I never had. I recognized I was looking to the created rather than the Creator. I decided to allow God to mend the brokenness. The healing process demanded me to be intentional. On purpose, I read, prayed and meditated on God’s word daily. On purpose, I forgave those who hurt me, learned to love myself, and uncovered my identity in Christ. Today, I am FINALLY FREE, walking in the love that was waiting for me all along in God. SPECIAL GUEST CONTRIBUTOR
YOU HOLD THE MASTER KEYS TO THE DOORS THAT WERE CREATED JUST FOR YOU. Â
Who is Melody Jacob? Melody Jacob is the CEO and founder of Melody Jacobs Blog and Worldviewcapture. She is a Media Influencer, Content Creator, and Lifestyle and Fashion Model. When did you discover your gift in photography? Self-discovery is one of the greatest gifts I’ve experienced. It has enabled me to uncover the things that are innate in me. I loved taking photos growing up and I always wondered about the creativity behind it. Coming to the Ukraine and having the opportunity to work with an amazing photographer, Eugenia Kovalievska, and watching her magical and awesome work gave me greater insight and helped me develop my skills even more. My passion for photography is endless and I will keep aspiring to greater heights.
What’s next for Melody Jacob? So much has been set in place, but planning my photography studio is priority. What motivates you when you’re creating? There are a lot of things, but nature inspires me most. It is the best work of art God gave to man. The amount of effort, experience, and skills that go hand-in-hand with the images and how fulfilled I am when a shoot comes out as expected inspires me to do more. What would you say to women GODISABLE MELODY JACOB around the world about being CEO and Founder of Melody Jacob Blog MORE? Women in recent times have contributed immensely to Media influencer, Content Creator, Lifestyle and Fashion Model. the building of nations Kharkov, Ukraine. throughout our world. However, Follow on Instagram: melodyjacob1 more women need to be Snapchat: Melodyjacob informed, equipped and www.melodyjacob.com encouraged to do more.
Thank you for being a part of HerChaos! Now let the Chaos begin! IG: herchaosgirl | www.herchaosgirl.com
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Knot Front Bandeau Bikini Set $11.00 us.Shein.com If you’re looking to swap out that old bikini for a new one without spending a fortune, give Shein a try. This white bikini was exactly what I wanted for my next adult get away. I have to warn you, though, they don’t run true to size.
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Sleeveless midi stretch dress with round neckline $35.90 www.zara.com/us/ This perfect dress packs a huge punch and is a great piece for any CHAOSGIRL to add to her summer wardrobe. This dress can take you from morning tea to afternoon brunch and then on to an evening out with just the change of your shoes. I love pairing with a pair of sneakers to get me thru the Chaos of the day and then slipping into a bright summer slide for evening drinks.
Who is Talaya Waller? I lead a small personal branding consultancy that helps thoughtleaders, entrepreneurs, and organizations develop influence and credibility for their brands. My office is located in Washington, DC but I serve clients from around the world. I also deliver personal branding keynotes, lectures, and workshops. In 2018, I delivered a TedX Talk titled “The Future of Branding is Personal”. I’m passionate about teaching people how to use personal branding to reach their target audience, gain competitive advantage, and achieve business goals. I have a Doctorate in Business Administration with a concentration in Leadership. I was recently awarded for publishing scholarly research on marketing and entrepreneurship. My expertise has been cited in publications such as Forbes, Fast Company, Business Insider, and the Chronicle for Higher Education. If you are interested in learning more about how branding can help you accomplish your career or business goals please visit our website at www.wallerandcompany.com When did you discover your passion? I first discovered my talent when I volunteered to help a friend build his brand in the entertainment industry. Long story short, I was extremely passionate about it and good at it.
What was the motivation behind Waller and Company? Personal branding (or the perception of someone's value), determines what decisions are made and who gets to make them. Waller & Company helps leaders share their stories and leverage their expertise to make a positive impact on society. What are your keys to success? Why? Personally, my key to success is having resilience. I think it is in my DNA to never give up. My ancestors had a lot of faith and made a lot of sacrifices for me to be where I am today. So my motto is "fall down 7 times, stand up 8!" What would you say to women around the world about pursuing their dreams? Create your own path! I can not stress this enough. Be strategic and creative in figuring out what works best for you. You can reach your goals quicker and easier by taking the road with less traffic. What’s next for you? I want to publish a book .
Dr. Talaya Waller CEO/Founder WALLER & COMPANY email@example.com www.wallerandcompany.com IG: @talayawaller
For more of Talaya Waller join her as she talks with Editor in Chief of Women of MORE magazine, Michelle Washington on Experience MORE Podcast. (iTunes, Soundcloud, Google Play)
AIN’T NOBODY STOPPING YOU, BUT YOU. It’s official! This is the second article in a series that I’ve decided to call Girlfriend, Let’s Talk. You see, I am you and you are me, we’re girlfriends. Powerhouse women striving to do MORE, be MORE, have MORE, and experience MORE in this life. But I’m not the social girlfriend who is going to laugh it up and tell you you’re cute when your dress is way too tight or who will co-sign on your mess. I’m the successful girlfriend who is all about helping you move to the next level in your life, career, and business. I will push you, pull you, motivate you, and challenge you all the way to the top because that’s what I’ve been called to do. So, in my next few articles, we’re going to sip some tea and have a little talk. If you didn’t catch the last article, Put Your Money Where Your Purpose Is, be sure to read it to prepare you for what’s coming. Because, girlfriend, we need to talk. Every woman who picks up this magazine is looking for more of something. Whether it’s more clarity, more freedom, more money, more love, more satisfaction, more impact, more fulfillment, or more affirmation. But more doesn’t just happen. More comes from either a growth process or a change process. Something has to happen to produce an increase in whatever it is you are looking for. That something is you. You have to happen. You have to show up and do the work that needs to be done to get what you want. But the challenge is in our ability and willingness to take ownership of and responsibility for the life that we’re living. Now, I’m not diminishing the impact of the past or negating how certain experiences in your life have led you to where you are now. What I am saying, though, is that at some point in time you have to decide that you are going to go after what you want and then take action to make it happen.
It’s time out for excuses. I know you’re busy. We’re all busy. I know you have responsibilities. We all have responsibilities. I know you don’t have the money. Or, at least you don’t think you have the money. But if you buy coffee, shoes, clothes, get your hair or nails done on a regular basis, or pay $200 a month for cable – you’ve got the money. Your purpose, your more it’s just not a priority for you. The truth, girlfriend, is that ain’t nobody or nothing stopping you, but you. There have been women before you who accomplished more than you have dreamt about with less time and fewer resources than you, and with little to no help from the people they cared about. Unfortunately, there will be women after you who do the same, if you don’t take action now. Stop identifying everything that’s blocking you and develop a plan to knock those barriers down. Start from the beginning. Don’t wait for everything to be in place and perfectly aligned to take your first step. I promise you, when you take that step the ground will rise to meet you and what you need will begin to show up in your life. You want MORE? Well, you deserve MORE! So, get MORE! Girlfriend, ain’t nobody stopping you, but you.
DR. CHERITA WEATHERSPOON
Author | Success Strategist | Speaker FB | IG | Twitter: CoachCherita
Take the Living Your Life With Purpose 7 Day Challenge at 7daypurposechallenge.com.
I remember dating a gentleman in my early twenties, we dated for 3-4 years off and on (you know the relationship with the “complicated” status). He was really into fitness and maintained a fit body, his fixation with this resulted in his critiquing me. I remember him making comments about me needing to workout, monitoring the food I ate, and criticizing me for eating too much or the wrong things.
In all honesty, I was breaking my back to stay slim and thick at the same time. I would not eat somedays, only drink smoothies, wear waist cinchers until my sides were bruised… you name it, I did it. I remember one occasion where he had one too many drinks and he told me how he really felt about my body and how I needed to watch my figure because I had a thicker frame. That conversation made me feel like one of the most unattractive women on the face of this earth. Ironically; he wasn't the first man to evaluate my body so harshly, pretty much every man I dated since high school would belittle me no matter how slim or how fit I was. It took some time to realize that the men I was dating wasn’t the problem, it was me. Somehow my mindset and low selfesteem would attract men who fed into my insecurities. I felt unattractive when I met them and guess what, they knew it! I was so damaged that I looked for relationships to validate me despite how I felt when looking in the mirror. It was unfortunate that I was looking for validation through a relationship with a man, but it was fortunate that it didn't work the way I planned. Since I could not find my validation in man, I was forced to find and build a relationship with Jesus Christ. Let me tell you something, no man on this earth will ever love like the Savior; His love is fulfilling and will sustain no matter what I feel like, look like or dress like.
SHE’S RESTORED WRITTEN BY KRYSTAL SMITH
Social Media Platforms: Instagram: LNE_Show & Krystals_89 Twitter: LNE_Show FaceBook: The LNE Show Podcast & Krystal Smith (Krystals89) www.lneshow.com
I have been single and celibate for about three years now and this is the most confident I have been in my entire life. I grow in knowledge of myself each day and it’s amazing. Restoration doesn't happen overnight, it's a process; and let’s be honest, processes aren’t always easy. Nevertheless, taking time to find myself is worth more than any promotion on a job or money in a bank account. It’s freedom! Cheers to the journey that leads to healing, independence, and self-confidence.
Meet Crystal Perkins, Servant of God, Woman of Faith and Courage, Speaker, Christian Entrepreneur, Wife, and Mother. Crystal's purpose was revealed during a season of trials, tribulations, setbacks, and losses. During that season of her life, God gave Crystal the assignment to share her testimony and faith through Christian apparel. After receiving the vision for Faithful Chics Boutique and experiencing great success within the first year, Crystal became fearless. She abandoned her career and degrees to fulfill her purpose full time. Faithful Chics Boutique is now a global ministry committed to sharing faith with the Nations. Crystal has committed her life to encouraging others and sharing faith with everyone she meets. She also uses her social media platform and speaking engagements to inspire others to live faith filled lives.
Faithful Chics Boutique Atlanta, GA | (501) 257-0072 www.faithfulchicsboutique.com Facebook: Faithful Chics Boutique IG &TW: @FaithfulChics
In 2017, Crystal obeyed God by stepping out on faith and relocating to Atlanta, GA. God then gave Crystal a new assignment to build God and GOALS, a global ministry with the mission of bringing God and faith into the marketplace. God and GOALS are geared toward assisting inspiring and existing entrepreneurs with fulfilling their purpose, birthing their visions, and building successful businesses with Godly principles. The non-profit organization focuses on assisting with business startup, workshops, conferences, overcoming dry seasons, marketing, advertising, business stipends, and so much more. God and GOALS also provides support, daily encouragement, and accountability through a network of Christian entrepreneurs. WOM: Why should women wear your brand? CP: Faithful Chics is the epitome of Women of Faith who carry themselves with style and grace. It's like being a fearless walking billboard for Christ. We're not just another Christian t-shirt company. It's much bigger than that for us. We don't just put crosses and messages on tees because they're cute. We truly live the life that our apparel displays. Faith is a lifestyle. Your faith should be displayed in all walks of life; your behavior, your home, your apparel, and so on. WOMM: What is the message youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re conveying through your tshirt line? CP: Faithful Chics apparel conveys boldness, fearlessness, strength, dignity, and power. Most customers have stated that they really feel "unstoppable" when they're wearing a Faithful Chics tee. WOMM: What would you say to motivate women around the world? CP: My favorite quote right now is "Live your best Life by faith" So often we feel like we have to have it all figured out! But that's really not our job. Our job is to live fearlessly and walk by faith daily! If you had it all figured out, you wouldn't need God or faith to get there. I want all women to feel what I feel! Waking up each day and doing exactly what sets my soul on fire. I'm not pushing all women to become entrepreneurs because that may or may not be their calling. However, I want to push all women to fearlessly pursue their true purpose on earth. You'll have setbacks and bumps along the road but every experience you encounter is so worth it!
VISIT: WWW.FAITHFULCHICSBOUTIQUE.COM The non-profit organization focuses on business startup, workshops, conferences, assistance with overcoming dry seasons, marketing, advertising, business stipends, and so much more. GOD and GOALS also provide support, daily encouragement, and accountability through a network of Christian entrepreneurs.
THE PERKINS FAMILY
Omoyeni Jewelry | www.omoyeni.com Omoyeni Makinde is the owner and designer of omoYeni LLC. a jewelry business specializing in the use of semi-precious stones and beads. Omoyeni is a fashionista at heart. Her jewelry designs are reflective of the ever-changing fashion world. She strives to create jewelry that would be one of a kind which is reflective of who you are as well as who she is. Striving to create the best is her goal. "Beading at its Best"
Connect with us: Omoyeni Makinde www.omoYeni.com Facebook - @omoyenijewelry Instagram â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Omoyeni_jewelry Twitter - @omoYenisJewelry
Find Emojis, Win Free Stuff: Is the Suprize App Too Good to be True? BY STEPHANIE HUMPHREY
Most of the time, the old saying “if it looks too good to be true, it probably is” is usually right on point. But in the case of the Suprize app, getting free swag just for being able to quickly find emojis may be a profitable diversion. The two anonymous creators of the app are rumored to be affiliated with celebrities like Drake, Justin Bieber, and Ariana Grande – but they’re definitely linked to the high-end brands that supply the prizes, including Yeezy Boost, Supreme, and Gucci. With a tagline promising that you can ‘win sick sh!t daily’, the makeup, concert tickets, shoes, and other potential prizes do not disappoint. Here’s how you play: once you download the app from the App Store or Google Play Store, you enter your phone number and confirm your account with a confirmation code sent to you via text. When you open the app, you’ll see a countdown timer to the next prize giveaway and you can watch an ad to get a hint about what the prize will be. This is helpful because with 3 to 7 giveaways per day and a rule that you can only win once every 72 hours, you’ll want to choose which games you play carefully.
When it’s time to play, you’ll be presented with a grid of emojis with one of them being different from the rest. Find the “wrong” emoji and move on to the second and third grids. Whoever gets through the three grids fastest wins the prize. If you win, you’ll be taken to a screen where you can enter your address to get your prize in the mail. Sounds simple right? Well, I’ve played multiple times now, and my LASIK-assisted vision has struggled to find the wrong emoji in a timely fashion (you get 60 seconds total to find all the emoji). Still, like HQ Trivia before it, Suprize is a fun distraction that lets you play against lots of other people in real time with the promise of a legitimate prize if you win. Download free for iOS or Android and be sure to turn on the notifications – maybe you’ll have better luck than me! Follow Stephanie Humphrey on Instagram @techlifesteph.
DON’T JUST MAKE LEMONADE WITH YOUR LEMONS. THERE’S MORE TO YOU!
WHAT’S THE REASON FOR THE SEASON-AL RELATIONSHIP? WRITTEN BY LATISHA NICOLLETTE www.whataboutaclutch.com
How many times have we heard "everything happens for a reason"? I’m sure I’ve heard the saying hundreds, maybe even thousands of times. The phrase normally comes off the heels of an unfavorable situation. The other statement I’ve heard frequently is "people who enter... or seasonal presence." In modern times the term has been How many times have we heard everything happens for a reason? I’m sure I’ve heard the saying hundreds, maybe even thousands of times. The phrase normally comes off the heels of an unfavorable situation. The other statement I’ve heard frequently is people who enter your life have one of two purposes, a lifetime presence or seasonal presence. When I think back over the course of my life, there were people I assumed would be around a lifetime based on the nature of the relationship; unfortunately (but fortunately) they turned out to be seasonal relationships. I’ve held onto people and situations that have held me captive to hurt, pain and unnecessary confusion, all because I wouldn’t let go. Seasonal relationships have a purpose. They typically have a lesson associated with them. The hard part with accepting such a lesson is learning from it. In many cases; we don’t consult God regarding the people we allow in our space or lives. We operate based on how we feel or how the person makes us feel, rather than seeking God to understand their purpose in our lives. We tend to see if the individuals meet our list of must haves to be invited into our lives. When we don’t seek God for guidance first we find ourselves enduring hard and painful lessons that possibly could have been avoided.
How many of us have found ourselves in the same type of unhealthy relationship or friendship over and over? I know I have plenty of times. I realize now that I never learned the lesson that was put before me, therefore I had to go through the same rough patch over and over until I got what I was supposed to get. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m tired of my stuff, my poor choices, my doing things out of order. I’m not perfect, however, I’m ready to stop making the same mistakes – no, choices, over and over. Are you tired of being in the same season repeatedly with the same seasonal people? If so, I challenge you to ask God for guidance and direction. I challenge you to pray for clarity about the purpose of relationships and the people who enter your life. The next thing I challenge you to pray for is discernment and that God grant you the maturity to handle it once given to you. God wants to be at the center of all your decisions, thoughts and plans. If we strive to do this we’ll be better off and we can move from one season in our lives to the next.
I had the great pleasure of meeting Keshia Armstrong a little over a year ago when we were selected to be a part of a fashion panel for a major department store. I fell in love with her style immediately and we became fast friends. We bonded over our love of fashion and being mothers. Keshia is a Dallas-based fashion blogger, stylist and business owner whose style is well recognized all over social media. She has a passion for helping women feel beautiful. So, let me introduce you to Keisha Armstrong.
KEISHA ARMSTRONG FROM KEEPING STYLE AFFORDABLE WRITTEN BY MARY BYRD
What is the name of your blog? Keeping Style Affordable What inspired you to start a fashion blog? I started as a stylist in 2013. I was trying to juggle my day job and being a stylist and it wasn’t working. I realized I didn’t really have a passion for styling, but I did have a passion for educating women about personal style. That’s when I realized blogging was the way to go. When and why did you decide to start an online boutique? I was receiving clothing and compensation for wearing clothing from other brands and boutiques and realized I could be making this money for myself. After procrastinating for over a year, I finally got over the fear and decided to take a leap of faith. It’s been great so far! What do you like the most about having your own business? I enjoy finding pieces that women love and can’t wait to purchase and getting positive feedback on the service that I provide. What has been the hardest part? Juggling! It’s always the hardest part. The boutique keeps me plenty busy, which doesn’t allow me much time to blog. What other goals do you have for your future in fashion or other areas in your life? My goal is to see my business grow bigger than I could ever imagine. I want to start doing charity work involving less fortunate women in my city and give back more.
Keshia is truly a Woman of More juggling many different roles in her life, but still able to focus on her passion and is making quite an impact in the fashion world! I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to meet this lovely lady. CONNECT WITH ME ON INSTAGRAM: @CURLYBYRDIE
THE HEART OF A FEMALE DRUMMER A woman that needs no introduction. Her laundry list of accomplishments are too long to list. She has allowed us to see what it looks like to live a Glamorous Life when you operate in your purpose.
She’s an icon, legend, trailblazer, innovative, creative, a mentor and the first female drummer that changed the game, My Shero, Sheila E. Interviewed by Michelle Washington
Michelle: Where did the heart for your art and people come from? Sheila E: Early on, my dad and my mom would take us to facilities for kids that were at risk. We would put my dad's percussion in his car, show up, and start to perform for them with just the percussion. We just wanted to get them to communicate with us and have a really good time for the hour or two we were there. We wanted to share music in that way and explain where the instruments came from, and how to play. Everyone has a rhythm, you know, and we wanted to have fun with it. And in spending just that one moment with them, I wanted to encourage them to play music, get involved in music, and open up their hearts to communicate and experience the healing power of music. Knowing that using music and arts as therapy for kids - victims who've been abused or hurt it allows them to creatively express themselves through the music. Most of the time we'd notice that the music broke down a barrier. So, that’s where it started when I was very young, and our parents continued to do that throughout the years until we started doing it on our own.
Michelle: Tell us about the program you have created for the younger generation? Sheila E: Elevate Home partnered with 51Oakland. We wanted to go back to the bay, Oakland, California, where we all grew up. My best friend, Lynn Mabry who is also an extraordinary vocalist, and I got together and wanted to start the foundation many years ago. We partnered with 51Oakland, and now we've come together to be Elevate Oakland. I'm assisting kids there in the bay area public schools bringing music back to the schools that don't have it. We're trying to do this during regular school hours instead of afterschool programs. We want it to be part of the curriculum. We've been reaching three to four different schools in the bay area for the last four years or so, and we're going to expand to more. I'm working to make sure that the curriculum we use is able to be taken to other cities to elevate those cities as well.
We use local musicians, which we can do in any city, who are available for a month at a time to teach a class two to three times a week. Classes might be on vocals, the art of music, the art of hip-hop, or the history of drumming. We might have a hip-hop artist who also plays an instrument teach them. The kids are getting involved, which we really love. Once they get involved, they start communicating with us. Once they start communicating, we find out the real reasons they’re acting out – like the fact that many of them come to school hungry. We're there to help them. We hope that the partnership that created Elevate Oakland can be replicated in other cities as well. Michelle: Why is it so important for us to get involved to make a change? Sheila E: If we want to make a change in our country, we have to get involved. We can't just stand outside a building. I'm talking about myself as well. At one point, when I wanted to see change, I stood outside of a building yelling, “You guys don't understand what's going on. You don't get it.” Blah, blah, blah. Then I realized, the only way to impact change is for my voice to be heard, to get involved in the system and to vote. Vote for what you believe in. Vote for the people you believe are the best for our entire country. Growing up in the sixties and seventies in the bay area, I had friends who were involved with the Black Panther party. Angela Davis hired us to play the first opening of their food placement, where they would feed the community. Dad and I were the first to play for the opening of their food bank. I saw the division back then and the fighting. There was no Hispanic or brown. You were black, or you were white, and I feel that we’ve slid back to that place. But, now you’re a person of color, or you're white. If we want to see progress, we have to get involved as a people. We have to learn how to love others like we love ourselves. I know that’s easier said than done. A lot of people don't love themselves. When they look in the mirror, they don't like who they see. They're angry, they're disappointed, they're depressed, they're on medication, and they don't know what they want to do in their lives. What is their purpose? There's no drive, there's no motivation, there's no mentoring. When these conditions exist, internal chaos is created, and it will eventually be turned outward. That’s one of the reasons why there is so much discord in this country. I know we can do better. Seeing our young people stand up and demand change gives me hope. If more of us would follow their lead, we could lead the change.
Michelle: Why do you think it’s challenging at times for us to walk into our purpose? Sheila E: There are so many elements to that. For example, if you’re a woman who came from a broken home and didn’t have a father, you might find yourself looking for the father you never had. You may end up distraught and easily swayed, or it may make you stronger and more focused. Sometimes we get caught up in the hype that women can’t get along and can’t support each other, so we focus more of our time on pulling other women down than we do on lifting ourselves up. You can’t walk in your purpose if your eyes are always on the person next to you. Another thing that deters women is that no one really helps us to be women, to understand the jewels we are, the queens we are, the women that God made us. We don’t know how to value ourselves. When we don’t value ourselves, we allow other people to dictate who we are and what we should be doing. Our purpose can be destroyed – we can be destroyed – if we allow others to define what we are capable and worthy of. If we can start with uplifting each other, watching our sister’s back, speaking life into one another, we can stay on track to our purpose. Michelle: What would you say to those women around the world? Sheila E: Any woman who has experienced loss or hardship of any kind, or who is struggling to step into their MORE, I ask you to find someone that can lift you up and stand by you. Find someone who can be like your sister or brother and say, “I'm here to help you, to help raise you up.” You know, we can't do it by ourselves. We all need someone to encourage us and to push us. We all need help sometimes. It doesn’t matter where the help comes from; it could be a friend, a family member, the church, or someone else in the community. We can’t always be the strong one. We can’t suffer in silence. The help we need to get out of our bad situations, to get emotional and mental healing, to walk in our purpose is out there. We must be willing to ask for the help we need. Once we find that help, we can begin the healing process and start our journey towards wholeness.
LISTEN TO THE ENTIRE CONVERSATION ON Experience MORE Podcast
REGARDLESS OF THE SHOES, YOU WEAR. JUST KEEP YOUR FEET MOVING.
LIFE SPEAKS Life speaks. Are you listening? Do you hear what life is saying to you? Do you feel the yearning in your heart for MORE…for greater… for better… for different? Do you see the clues life provides along the way… the open doors… the roads less traveled… the opportunities? They exist. They are right in front of you, but you must learn how to recognize them and be willing to take the action necessary to achieve success. So often we spend time asking questions and seeking answers outside of ourselves. You know how we do. We make the rounds soliciting advice from Sarah, Sandra and Susan. We jump on the latest bandwagons only to jump off when we realize they're taking us in the wrong direction. We run ourselves ragged pursuing titles, salaries, and connections and often find ourselves depleted – spirit, soul and body. We trust everything but our instincts and the clues that life provides along the way. Our failures, mistakes and missteps have caused us to doubt ourselves and lose faith.
WRITTEN BY CARLEEN ELISA
Our insecurities and fears paralyze us and lead to inaction, and we wallow around aimlessly trying to figure out how to get to an unclear destination. Yet, each and every day, life speaks. It calls to us and presents us with opportunities to become our best selves. How? You ask. Through your experiences, challenges and intuitions. You may go to a job you hate every day. But life is speaking: “Go back to school. Learn a new skill. Pursue your dream.” You may watch from the sidelines as a good friend builds her business and wish that could be you. Life is speaking: “If it’s possible for her, it’s possible for you, too. Put in the work. I am no respecter of persons.” You may have lost everything in a flood or fire. Life is speaking: “Rebuild. Start anew. Create new memories.” You may be overweight and struggle to walk up a flight of stairs. Life is speaking: “Take better care of yourself. Change your diet. Exercise.” You watch protests on television, and you get frustrated over the state of your community. Life is speaking: “Volunteer. Express your ideas. Make a difference.” Unfortunately, many of us fail to pay attention or choose to ignore life’s call. We wait until we lose an opportunity or receive a negative health diagnosis or experience a financial crisis before we pay attention.
Oprah Winfrey put it like this, “Listening to your life as it whispers to you first, so that it does not have to knock you upside the head with a brick or come crashing down on you as a brick wall, is one of the greatest principles of life.” So, what is life saying to you today? What action is life requiring? What opportunity has life presented dressed up as a challenge or hard work? Stop. Examine where you are and where life is challenging you to be. Take time daily to be quiet to listen to your inner voice. Take notes. Determine the steps you need to take and make the change. Life is speaking. Connect with Carleen Elisa FB, TW, IG: @CarleenElisa
WHAT’S A WELL-WOMAN EXAM? The well-woman exam is often called the annual exam or annual checkup. It’s a time where the doctor or nurse practitioner assesses the health status of the breasts, vaginal, and cervical areas. Just like we take babies in regularly for a well-baby exam to see if all is well and developmental milestones are being met, the same idea goes for the well-woman exam – we’re checking to see that all is well with the reproductive organs and if not, we have the opportunity to make decisions about what happens next.
WHAT HAPPENS DURING A WELLWOMAN EXAM? There are four components to the well-woman exam – the medical history, the clinical breast exam, the pelvic exam, and the Pap test. There will also be time for you to talk with your health care provider and ask any questions you might have about pregnancy planning, birth control options, menopause, sexually transmitted disease, and more.
THE MEDICAL HISTORY IS A SERIES OF QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR HEALTH – PAST AND PRESENT.
THE CLINICAL BREAST EXAM IS A BREAST EXAM DONE BY A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER. They perform a systematic exam of the breast and under arm areas feeling for masses (lumps). They will ask about nipple discharge and look for bruising. They will compare notes with your last clinical breast exam and remind you to do monthly self-breast exams (SBE).
THE PELVIC EXAM IS AN EXAM TO CHECK IF INTERNAL FEMALE ORGANS ARE NORMAL BY FEELING THEIR SHAPE AND SIZE. Although it is not pleasant, it should not be painful. If it is, it’s a starting point for the discussion with your health care provider.
THE PAP TEST CHECKS FOR CANCER OF THE CERVIX.
The cervix is the opening to a woman's uterus. Cells from the cervix are collected on a cottontipped applicator and then examined under a microscope. Cellular changes alert the doctor or nurse practitioner to the possibility of disease. This early warning allows for closer follow up and a wider variety of treatment options.
• Personal and family health history. • Sexual health including information about your menstrual periods, number of sexual partners, and sexually transmitted diseases. • Intimate partner violence or physical abuse by a partner. You may get paperwork in the mail to complete and bring with you or you may be asked to fill out the forms when you get to the office.
Be proactive and give yourself the gift of health. Contact your health care provider and schedule your well-woman exam. Because of the Affordable Care Act, it’s one of your health care benefits. No insurance? Contact Planned Parenthood or a women’s health clinic in your area to discuss fees and payment options. For more information about the well-woman exam visit the following links: Health Finder at www.healthfinder.gov Planned Parenthood at www.plannedparenthood.org
GIFT YOURSELF REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH WRITTEN BY DENISE M JORDAN
HEALTH AND WELLNESS
MOMMY, DADDY, AND BABY! Ali, Justin, and Amelia.
AMELIA REI JACARUSO
ALI LEVINE IS A MOMMY!
HELP US CELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF,Â AMELIA REI JACARUSO.
Stay tuned from Ali our fashion contributor in our next edition. Picture from Instagram @alilevinedesign
THE PHOTOGRAPHER Renowned Carlo Davis' will be covering Addam's event this weekend!
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WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?
THINK ON THESE THINGS
Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. PHILIPPIANS 4:8-9 MSG
CHOOSE YOUR SEED WISELY BY SHAUNDYLL ROGERS Each day we are presented with choices. We make choices about what latte we will drink, how we will respond to situations with loved ones and co-workers, who we will sleep with and what we will eat. Research shows that adults make an average of 35,000 choices per day. I remember a situation where I needed extra money to pay a few bills. I chose to ask a friend who was a drug dealer at the time to flip some money for me. I drove him over an hour so that he could “cop” what he needed. This same night, the house we were at got raided. My friend got arrested, and I ended up with NO money and even bigger issues. One choice created a domino effect of choices that had a major negative impact on my life. Truth is, many of us take for granted the impact our daily choices have on our future. We tend to live in the moment. Our behaviors are motivated by emotions and feelings. Temporary feelings can push us to make choices that have negative long-term impact. Most of us are living in current circumstances and environments because of our past personal choices.
My Pastor said, “Every choice you make is a seed into your future.” How different would our decisions be if we viewed them as seeds? Seeds that are going to bring forth a harvest in our future. Personally, I would be more mindful, thoughtful and cautious. I would also be more intentional about making daily choices that are going to bring forth a harvest of things that would fulfill, uplift and improve my quality of life. Knowing now that your daily seeds are producing a future harvest, what kind of harvest can you expect? Seeds always produce after their own kind. Apple seeds only produce apple trees. If you want a different kind of fruit, you have to plant a different kind of seed. Such is life. You are given thousands of choices each day. Choose wisely; it could be setting you up or setting you back. CONNECT WITH ME FB: SHAUNDYLLROGERS IG: IAMSHAUNDYLL
KANDI FROM $1.11 IN HER BANK ACCOUNT TO A RECORDING ARTIST
Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, Kandi Lee is as fiery and fierce as a blade forged in fire. Born in Los Angeles, CA, her father noticed how spectacular his daughter's vocal range was from a very young age. He desperately wanted her to share his love of Country music, but she was not touched by it. Once she discovered the legendary artist who sang with the same passion and raw emotion that she did, she finally understood her father’s hope for her. That voice – the voice of Patsy Cline, resonated and set the tone for her future in music. As a child, Kandi Lee’s radio streamed the sounds of powerhouse singers such as Aretha Franklin, Wynonna Judd, and Karen Carpenter. She poured all her aspirations and energy toward one day recording an album of her own. She spent most of her childhood in Europe attending German schools and traveling with her talent across the globe, performing live on television and radio. At 18, Kandi Lee moved to "Music City" to take her music career more seriously. Nashville, TN, marked the ground for her footprint in the industry and the magic milestone of becoming a mom. This new responsibility was a gift. Kandi Lee knew she only had one opportunity to become the mother her child deserved. She put her recording dreams on hold and rerouted her family of two, to Las Vegas, NV, to be closer to immediate family. In 2004, with a vast sense of duty and purpose, Kandi Lee had the vision to embark upon a new venture. She looked at her bank account and saw $1.11 to her name. She took the $1.11, then placed it in an envelope under her pillow. This reality initiated a paradigm shift to her purpose and vision. She refused to allow herself to be limited by a bank account or circumstances. Kandi Lee went on to create the One-Eleven Network, where she became a personal and professional development coach. Through leadership, speaking, training and business strategy consulting, the One-Eleven Network empowers individuals and organizations with the tools and mindset to take both personal and professional results to the next level. Despite all the awards and recognition she and the Network have achieved over the years, Kandi Lee's greatest accomplishment has been reaching these goals as a single “mompreneur.”
Her path came full circle when she once again took to the stage and her voice caught the ear of widely recognized Grammywinning Producer Jeffery Weber. Kandi Lee had been actively auditioning throughout Los Angeles, but kept facing producers in pursuit of the next "Disney Star." Weber though... heard her vocals and knew this was a voice as unique as the singer behind it. After tireless coaching and studio sessions with the 35-year music veteran, Kandi Lee's vocals became a blend reminiscent of her favorite heroines. This camaraderie sparked her and Weber to then write and record her life story onto a first album. Kandi Lee released the "Dirty Little Secret" single on Sexual Assault Awareness Day 2018, donning a message near and dear to her now public journey. Written over the course of two years, the album stands as an anthem for social justice. Each track plays an emotional part of her history, addressing inequality and misogynistic imprudence that was once acceptable in our society. Having recently launched her No More Entertainment Record Label and Legacy Television Project, Kandi Lee is now in the thick of producing "Rise Up With Me," a transformational talent competition. Never before has a music competition program woven personal development into its coaching format and provided compassion and support to fuel emotions that generate a legitimate transformation in contestants. Rather than being a typical reality show chock-full of drama, "Rise Up With Me" will be a movement that provokes universal change and possibility. A self-proclaimed "HAVE TO" Artist, Kandi Lee represents the like-minded inspiration and empowerment behind Hollywood's #TimesUp, #MeToo, #NoMore, and #WhyWeWearBlack movement. She knows it's never too late to join the party and knows the best way to deliver her message is through music.
CONNECT WITH KANDI IG @REALKANDILEE | www.kandilee.com
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BAG LADY DON'T HURT YOUR BACK.
DO WE VALUE THE BAG MORE THAN THE CONTENT INSIDE?
VACATION VENTURES: ARE YOU READY FOR TAKEOFF? WRITTEN BY TYNETTA BROWN The vacation season is near, so get the wish list out and start planning that simple get away or the trip of a lifetime to add a few more passport stamps. Whether you use a professional travel agent from an agency or the various apps and tools online, the key word to remember here is planning. Details matter and can help you avoid headaches when planning the ultimate get away outside of the USA or the basic relaxing stay-cation. Preparation certainly includes setting a budget and beginning to do your homework. Depending on the type of getaway or your desired length of stay, there are always promotions, special offers and attractive travel packages available. It’s always wise to maximize current travel incentive programs, auto club benefits and recommendations from friends and family.
If you travel alone, with family or a group, make sure you take all the necessary safety precautions to avoid having your vacation ruined. Current documents, your car fully serviced - if driving, travel insurance, leaving the valuables at home, just to name a few, are always good ideas to insure you have a worryfree trip whether you are traveling within or outside of the States.
REISE | PAGE 4
Putting a little effort in planning the perfect vacation without feeling overly scheduled when you arrive will certainly insure that you truly reap the benefits of a great get away and experience true rest and relaxation. Scoping out a few of the local festivals, dining in one or two of the top restaurants or just organically exploring the location and talking to locals can all be done with ease and keep your vacation from feeling exhausting or stressful. You don’t have to try and do everything that’s available to you and you certainly wouldn’t want to go on vacation and return home, prepare to go back to work and feel as if you need a vacation from the vacation. That would totally defeat the purpose.
Once you’ve decided on your carefully planned vacation and are counting down the days until it’s time to take off, make sure you remember to provide your itinerary to an emergency contact, secure your home, put your mail and newspapers on hold and fill any necessary prescriptions. Taking these few last steps will help allay any worries or concerns back home while you are away. Finally, prepare to enjoy a new surrounding for a bit and enjoy every moment of your vacation, regardless of the type. You only live once and the gift of exploration and value of new experiences to enhance your life can never be underestimated. Happy trails! Send photos of some of your unique vacation ventures to firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll share them with our readers. Bon voyage!
I am a wife, woman of God, Empowerment and Success Coach, author of She Wins! and founder of Women By Choice Global, an online community created in 2014 for the purpose of uniting and empowering women worldwide to win in both their personal and professional lives.
WOMEN BY CHOICE
Instagram: @andromeda.wins | @womenbychoice Facebook: womenbychoice1 www.womenbychoice.com
I think it’s important for people to know that I didn’t wake up one day and decide to start a network for women. I had earned my Bachelor’s Degree in Accounting and worked for 3 years in that field until I finally found my purpose - after intensely pursuing it. Women By Choice was started as a personal blog that I created after realizing that I’ve always liked writing and had always been good at it. My intentions for starting the blog were to pursue what I thought my only purpose was, to inspire and empower women through my words. I was preparing myself to write a book. On my blog, I shared my journey of transitioning from a girl to a woman once I made the choice, at 28 years old, to hold myself responsible for my own happiness and accountable for my own success - hence the name, Women By Choice. After sharing excerpts from my blog about the negative experiences I’ve had with women in the past and my thoughts on what women could do differently to help us get along better on social media, I was surprised to find out just how many women could relate to my experiences and feelings. I knew then that I needed to create a space for positive, supportive, and success-minded women like myself to connect.
What started out as a small group in Tallahassee, FL has since grown into a global online community with chapters in six cities in the US: New York, Orlando, Chicago, Atlanta, Canton, and Philadelphia. I now host sold out events and retreats for women each year, have become an international speaker, was the March 2018 cover girl for Life Coach Network Magazine, won several awards from my community and peers, and been featured in The Huffington Post, Sheen Magazine, and now proudly, Women of MORE Magazine. I’ve been acknowledged as an Ambassador of Change in the city of Orlando and accomplished so much more that I am thankful for. I don’t share any of this to brag, but to highlight what can happen when you choose to walk fully in faith and be obedient to your purpose. I had no idea that choosing to honor my passion and start a blog would lead me to where I am today. I also want to point out that all of the amazing opportunities I’ve received were due to the connections I’ve made with amazing women, far too many to name. Truth is, connections are often more valuable than currency and women are much more powerful when we choose collaboration over competition. This is why Women By Choice’s mantra is “When Women Support Women, We ALL Win!”
Issue 27 | 234
I'm just someone who likes cooking and for whom sharing food is a form of expression. -MAYA ANGELOU
Sacred Gift of Intuition DARIETH CHISOLM
I am so fascinated by a woman who can make a solid decision. A woman who stands in her power, in her faith, in her belief in herself and her highest desires. Decision making is key in every successful outcome. A woman who can decide quickly, even with doubts, worries and fears, is always one step closer to making her dreams come true. Admittedly, making solid decisions used to make me squeamish. No, sometimes, sick to my stomach. The fear that I could be making a big mistake and getting it all wrong, always ruled the day. To make matters worse, when I turned to others for advice, it seemed to only complicate my decision making process. Until one day I learned to trust my intuition. I have discovered that our intuition engages our body, mind, and spirit for the decision making process. When we do, it makes us feel more expansive, excited, and less nervous about the outcome of our decision. The word intuition originally came from the Latin word intueri, which means “to contemplate” or “to look within.” Without learning how to look within and listen to our intuition, we tend to rely solely on the limited rational mind or external input from others, which can quickly lead us astray.
Many scientists and researchers are now referring to intuition as the highest form of intelligence we possess. In other words, intuition is no longer limited to the new age world or magical thought; it is increasingly being seen as a legitimate way to make judgments and decisions. The key to mastering what I consider the sacred gift of intuition is learning to listen to it. The more attention you give it, the more powerful and accurate it will become. Meditation can help you listen to your intuition more closely because it connects you with your inner being physically, psychologically and spiritually. Taking time to reflect and simply relax can also help it rise to the surface. Often, we run from one place to another with an endless to-do list; only when we stop running can our mind catch up. That's when it’s time to take a moment to truly listen to your intuition and listen to your heart. Finally allowing myself to listen to myself has felt so natural. Most decisions I make these days comes from a deep trust in my authentic self. Because I no longer spend my time judging myself, I am also more accepting of others. I am calm, open and much more effective. I see my strengths and I know who I am plainly: a loving person who desires to be more connected to others.
I believe it’s important for you to discover and use your intuition. It’s like a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it becomes. Because whatever you decide to go for this year, you are the only person you need to be to achieve what you desire. There is no more advantageous way to live than by honoring your true self. The power lies in looking in the mirror and thinking, “You know what? I really love myself.” The most important thing you can do for yourself this summer is to get in touch with who you are and be that person in everything you do on a daily basis. If you do, you’re going to experience a lot of joy and success. So let’s all stop trying to hide from our intuition and power, and the gift that it offers us. Let us always endeavor to be centered, peaceful, productive and loving, remembering to include ourselves among those we love, support and show up for. Darieth Chisolm is a TV Host, Author, Speaker, Coach, Activist and Filmmaker she works with corporate professionals, coaches, authors, speakers & visionaries to develop and secure a media platform that builds brand, influence and income. www.DariethChisolm.com. Darieth is also the founder of www.50shadesofsilence.com a social justice project to give voice and dignity to victims of cyber harassment and abuse.
At Couture Weave Boutique, we are confident that our attention to detail and flawless service is sure to give you the best hair experience you have ever had.
COUTURE SERVICES HAIR SERVICES COLORING SERVICES COUTURE MAKEUP COUTURE EXTENSIONS FULL SERVICE WEDDINGS
CEO REBUILDING EVERY MOMENT As a little girl, I was fascinated with hair and its power to transform a lady, not only aesthetically, but spiritually and emotionally. I saw my beloved grandmother beam with confidence and joy each week as her dedicated stylist attended to her with great respect and care. On one fateful day, grandma’s stylist was unavailable and she was concerned about attending church as not her glowing, divine self. It was then that grandma finally allowed my “debut”. She entrusted her femininity to me…a 13-year old with dreams of becoming a stylist one day! Attending beauty school was not only inevitable but fulfilled my yearning to formalize the skills that would allow me to help transform women into stunning examples of my passion, talent, and expertise while empowering women to celebrate and embrace their inner and outer beauty, We live in a busy and complex world. Women are taking on more roles today than ever. I am committed to being respectful, accessible to all women and listening and personalizing my approach to meet each one’s desired beauty outcome…revealing their most confident and beautiful self. I remain inspired each day…remembering the smile on my grandmother’s face always...my first client. CONNECT WITH ME IG: @coutureweaveboutique email@example.com. LOCATION 5872 West Pico Blvd. Los Angeles, CA 90019
FASHION FROM THE GROUND UP WRITTEN BY SIOBHAN THOMAS FOLLOW HER ON INSTAGRAM - @HERCHAOS WWW.HERCHAOS.STYLE
Do you know what you’re putting on in the morning, besides the label that is clearly marked on the inside of your garments? Too many times we buy into the trend of fashion and not what we truly value or believe. So many raw materials are imported from other countries. We hold them at such a high value but right here in the United States, we have the true value of raw materials. Not just monetary value but core value and heritage. Too often we do not know the origin of the materials we wear nor do we really care. But should we pay more attention to this? Maybe we would have a better appreciation for what we wear, and make a bigger statement than just the latest trend. The value of ownership, the greater stock of land, family, and heritage. Cotton as a raw material has a great impact on us then what we wear. Impacting the economy, the culture, impact of the farmer as well as fashion. The mental and psychological power that a woman feels being draped in such raw material, constructed by fashion's influence is astounding. More and more we are becoming socially conscious. We wonder if our food is Non-GMO. If the products that we’re using, either our beauty products or household products, if they are all natural and animal cruelty-free tested. We are supporting brands that don’t support sweatshops and poorly paid workers. We are taking the time to research and support the right designer. Whether they be a big label, a famous fashion houses, an indie unknown paving the way and making a mark in the industry, or African American designers. Why not know where the materials that your clothes are made of come from? As I’ve gotten older I’m less impressed by just wearing labels because they are trending and I have become more aware of wearing what fits my TrueForm. It is a plus if it’s something that holds value when it comes to fashion and my personal beliefs. I had the pleasure of visiting a family in Roanoke Rapids, NC that owns a cotton farm. This is one of a few black-owned cotton farms that still exist. Three generations and it is still going strong. I was taken by the beauty of its TrueForm and the richness of heritage that still lives on after three generations. Currently, they focus on cotton distribution to small retailers and boutiques, but they have big dreams to move their pure cotton heritage into the fashion industry one day. For now, I wanted to capture its beauty and what it may have carried generations before this.
op·ti·mis·tic hopeful and confident about the future.
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. JEREMIAH 29:11
THE STRUGGLE IS NOT REAL: IT’S IMPOSTORISM BY PHYLLIS L. CLARK, M.ED
Imagine walking around for the better part of a decade thinking that your accomplishments and resulting opportunities were based more on chance and luck than that of your own personal efforts, talents, and gifts. During the early part of my personal and professional developmental years, these were my feelings more often than not. Positioning myself in a career based upon service within higher education was sure to assist me in the pursuit of my personal aspirations. These efforts would then be underpinned by the necessary actions, activities, and behaviors that would help me leverage additional opportunities. In actuality, it did not work out like that. Over the course of my twenty-four year career in secondary and post-secondary education, I harbored many thoughts and feelings that kept me from doing my best – on purpose. These same feelings kept me from asking for promotions, serving on high-level professional committees and seeking new opportunities. Over the course of two decades, these same feelings made me operate beneath my capacity – on purpose. I refer to it now as operating from the perimeter or cruising under the comfort zone even as I worked hard to help other young men and women think differently.
During my tenure at a research 1 university, I was honored to provide guidance to undergraduate students. My observations, especially of women, inclined me to believe that many of them are suffering from the same issue that I had been – “I hope they don’t find out who I am” and “am I really supposed to be here?” Feelings such as this systematically force many women, Black women in particular, to feel the need to work harder than their white counterparts, battle stereotypes, and constantly prove oneself to others. Most of this “contributes to a sense of isolation and alienation” as noted by researchers Person and Rosales.
Established in the research in 1978 by psychotherapists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Ament Imes as the impostor syndrome as well as impostorism, the construct is described as harboring internal feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt and fraudulence.
Clance and Imes argue that women who wrestle with the impostor phenomenon do not experience an internal sense of success. Instead, they look upon themselves as being false, fake or even an impostor. They also feel as if they are not intelligent or deserving of positive recognition It was not until “something” caused a or accolades that may come their previous supervisor to admonish my way. It has now become my mission actions or lack of. During an annual to continue the research in areas of performance appraisal, she helped me critical need, specifically, the impact come to the conclusion that I should “do and affect it has on Black women. It more” for myself. Doing more meant I had no idea that there was a falls right in line with my desire to being actively engaged in professional name for this dysfunction until I help women “brand their brilliance” networks and caring more about my own started researching about it in by recognizing those feelings of personal visibility and overall my PhD program. impostorism and implementing development. She saw something in me Understanding this issue at a techniques to lessen the feeling(s) that she thought I did not see in myself deeper level would not only help or defeat it completely so they can and I hated it. Oh I saw it. I just did not me but I would be able to serve live fully and develop into the want to acknowledge, respond, or other women who also battle women in which they have been participate on a higher professional level these types of feelings as well. called. due to fear, anxiety, and exorbitant The dysfunction I am referring to amounts of self-consciousness. Can you has a name. It’s called relate? impostorism.
The latest study shows that money is the #1 stressor for most Americans. Are you one of the many people who can’t get a handle on your money? Financial stress adds so much pressure to our everyday lives, clouding our ability to feel free and fulfilled, healthy and energized. If you stop to think about your finances right now, how do you feel they limit you? There are many things going on externally, the cost of goods and services increasing, stagnant wages, gender and racial pay inequality, etc. There are also things going on internally keeping us stuck, affecting our ability to achieve the success and balance we say we want in our finances. Your beliefs – around money, work, yourself, rich people, what it would take to be successful, and much more – could be dictating your life. Beliefs around money, success and happiness are so deeply ingrained in a person that they look and feel like “the truth.” They’re often connected to deep emotions, and sometimes to old, buried memories as well. Until we’re able to access these deeper root(s) of our beliefs, transforming them can feel like a long, slow climb up a large, steep mountain. The truth is, in order for positive beliefs to support you in living the abundant and fulfilling life you deserve, you have to truly believe them, not just mentally, but emotionally, as well as on a subconscious level.
To be connected to a transformational financial coach, contact Vanessa Lindley at firstname.lastname@example.org also follow her on social media @vanessalindley and at lindleyconsultinggroup.com
Y A ST WRITTEN BY VANESSA LINDLEY
WOKE, T NO
The first step in this process of transforming your limiting beliefs is identifying them. Here are a few limiting beliefs around money: • I’m not good with money • To be successful and wealthy, I’d have to “give it my all,” and that’s more than I want to give • Money is the root of evil • Only people who are good at business can be successful • I don’t want to be greedy • Making more money means working more hours If you’ve ever had any of these thoughts, you are living with limiting beliefs and while you can work hard and reach some goals, you will not reach your fullest potential until you address them.
Working with a financial coach will allow you to release old limiting beliefs and become mentally and emotionally invested in new and more empowering beliefs. You can learn to know and believe that success and wealth can and do co-exist with a rewarding and fulfilling personal life. And, by using better tools and systems, you can figure out how to make more money without working too many hours. It will be like awakening from a sleep and you will no longer live in the cycle of stress about money. Your entire life will begin to transform. With your new, empowering beliefs as deeply ingrained as your old ones once were, your experience around work, money, success and fulfillment naturally begin to support the abundant and fulfilling life you deserve. You will be woke, not broke!
BELIEVE! MARK 11:24