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Wednesday, June 25, 2014
senior citizens and their family members consider? The bottom line in terms of deciding whether or not you or a family member needs higher-level care is safety. One thing we like to reinforce when we do talks in this area is no one has ever had to enter a nursing home because they have Alzheimer’s. The only reason ever is because their behavior renders living alone unsafe – the source of that safety concern does not matter. Q: Many children of senior citizens may have different ideas of whether living at home or in a nursing home is best for their mom or dad. What is your advice for people in this situation? Often, sibling conflicts around caregiving for parents, even though it’s not explicit, center on money. Very little of skilled nursing home care is covered by Medicare, and so it is often the case that one or more members of the family see nursing home care for their parent as their inheritance disappearing. Families break up over this. The best route to take is to have a family meeting and try to come to an under-
standing of what the best options are. Q: Let’s face it: Some seniors are just more capable of living independently than others. How do you approach a conversation with someone who wants to live alone but might pose a danger to him or herself by doing so? Nothing is going to make it a pleasant conversation, but I think there are two things that you can do that will help. One is to empower the person: Giving them as much autonomy as possible in the decision-making process is very helpful, as you can imagine. And sometimes, if the parent is very resistant, it is helpful for the family to present a unified front. It’s very hard for any person to resist that kind of social pressure.
Dr. Robert Bornstein
Raise the red flags Because health tends to decline gradually with time, here are some warning signs that might signal it’s time to make the move toward more permanent care. • Significant decline in the cleanliness of the home: This is especially worrisome if a person’s home is typically very well-kept. • Financial issues such as bills going unpaid: This may indicate that a person has lost the ability to understand how to write a check, balance a checkbook and so forth. • Food that is not properly stored: This indicates that the person is confused. More importantly, improperly stored food can be a safety issue.
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