White Magazine | Wedding and Marriage | Issue 33

P U R E I N S P I R AT I O N WEDDINGS FA S H I O N LIFESTYLE R E L AT I O N S H I P S

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AUS $15 / NZ $16 ISSUE #33 : 2016 ISSN 1834-3589

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Photography by The Robertsons

A LETTER FROM THE EDITOR Hello lovely! I’ve been nutting out this letter to you for some time now, and I’m down to the wire as we’re about to go to print! I haven’t wanted to rush when it comes to sharing some bits and pieces that I hope might encourage and inspire you in the relationships around you and in particular with your soon-to-be husband or wife.

I should firstly say hello, how rude of me to jump straight into the deep end! I hope you sense the joy in this issue. We’ve packed it full of pretty colours and wide smiles that have all been captured in the raw, honest moments of this life journey we are all in.

In all honesty, I’ve been feeling like a bit of a hypocrite. Luke and I are so passionate about seeing long lasting relationships (it’s what fuels the fire to keep us going and why white exists) but we’ve been so busy juggling life and trying to keep our heads above water that we’ve been neglecting each other just a tad and need a bit of a shake up! Just for the record, sitting next to each other on the lounge both on laptops does not equal quality time in any sense. I can’t stop and think this is a bit crazy! I know we both love each other deeply and are ever-so committed. We’re in it for the long haul but I think we need to rethink our juggling act.

This might be a battle we all face though? Have you found that when you are passionate about something it brings you so much joy it is incredibly freeing and exciting! It could be planning your wedding or setting up a home, having your own family or in your day-to-day work life. The truth though is that life is about relationship – I know that there is something deep down inside us that is intrinsic and craving acceptance, wanting to be noticed and loved! Yes I think we all want that.

So what am I going to do about it? I could close my laptop now or I could keep working … it doesn’t really matter. I do know we need to sit down for a chat (not when I’m tired) and together work out something so there can be more cuddles and kisses, games, dates and everything inbetween. I’ll keep you posted on our travels!

Hope you can work it out too! Enjoy Issue 33—she’s a beauty!

films that become folklore lalunecinema.com

madewithlovebridal.com

ISSUE THIRTY THREE AUGUST 2016 publishers luke + carla burrell editor carla burrell

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EDITOR’S LETTER CONTRIBUTORS WHITE LOVES

carla@whitemag.com

deputy editor cassandra holland cassie@whitemag.com

part one

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A LIFE OF JOY EX PERI ENCI NG

designed by mezzanine.co ryan stuart, mylan chen-ough, luke burrell

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CHOOSING HAPPINESS WHAT

interns bonnie lee mooney, elise pfeiffer, hannah twomey

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PURE + SIMPLE ENJOYI NG THE LI TTLE THI NGS I N LI FE

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JOYFUL CREATORS VENDOR S AT PLAY WI TH PASTELS

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NEW BEGINNINGS WHI TE

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SPRING FEVER AN

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POETRY IN MOTION SHE

marketing + pr + partnerships renee mantle renee@whitemag.com

cover photo beck rocchi editorial contributors cate stephens, darren chapman, emma plant, laura jackel, liv lundelius, richard miller, sabrina peters photographic contributors alex ry, amber gress, beck rocchi, ben adams, braden young photo, finch & oak wedding co., heart and colour, lara hotz, logan cole, madeline druce photography, nick sim photography, samm blake, the robertsons, the stage & doe, woodnote photography creative contributors emma watkins, inkling design, makeup by alexandria, miss ladybird cakes, my violet, light noise films, prunella, santiago sunbird, the elopement collective

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SELFLESS LOVE PUTTI NG YOUR PAR TNER FI R ST

ABN 31 725 316 171 ~ ISSN 1834-3589.

While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of information in this magazine, no responsibility can be accepted by the publisher for inaccuracy or for submissions by organisations or individuals and/ or printers’ errors. © 2016 white Magazine (Aust). All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or part without permission is strictly prohibited.

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MY LOVER, MY FRIEND B UI LDI NG A FOUNDATI ON OF FR I ENDSHI P

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THE RELATIONSHIP TALK THE

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INGA CAMPBELL ILLUSTRATOR

LARA HOTZ PHOTOGRAPHER

SABRINA PETERS WRITER

EMMA PLANT WRITER

BRITTANY SNOW CREATIVE

Inga is the talented creative behind Inkling Design, a company that offers art direction, branding, styling, custom illustrations and invitations. Her illustrations have graced the pages of some of the country’s best known magazines, including Elle, Dolly, Inside Out, Girlfriend and Cosmopolitan (Australia and worldwide).

Lara Hotz is a wedding photographer and visual storyteller based in Sydney.

She understands that everyone has a story to tell and is grateful to document so many incredible stories.

With an art for interpretation, Lara draws inspiration from the love, laughter, characters and atmosphere, aiming to document each story in a natural and unobtrusive way.

Sabrina is a credentialed ACC Pastor who wrote her first book, Lady in Waiting, when she was fresh out of school. For five years she worked as a residential youth support worker for high-risk teenagers, and she is currently completing a degree in psychology, endeavouring to one day become a clinical psychologist.

Emma is a wearer of many hats, working as a senior writer for the blog, Girl With a Satchel, while also practicing as a professional hair and makeup artist. She is a lover of all things creative, and you can find more of her editorial work within the pages of Frankie, Yen, Good Health and The Gold Coast Bulletin.

Brittany has a wealth of experience with weddings through running her own business, The Elopement Collective, alongside husband Joshua Withers.

She creates elopements, pop-up wedding events and simple legals-only marriage paperwork signings. Brittany has also been known to lend her talents to styled shoots.

NICK SIM PHOTOGRAPHER

RICHARD MILLER WRITER

CAROLINE + JAYDEN PHOTOGRAPHERS

LIV LUNDELIUS MAKEUP ARTIST

SHAREE GRAY STYLIST + DESIGNER

Based in the Hunter Valley, NSW, Nick left his career as a pilot to pursue wedding photography with his wife Kel. They love to candidly capture intimate moments and tell each couple’s unique story. To them, photography is more than taking pictures—it’s about building relationships and being a part of life’s unforgettable moments.

Richard is a long-term writer and contributor to white magazine, and is known for his witty and insightful editorials on a mix of marital adventures.

When he is not entertaining us with his humorous yet wise words, he works for a not-for-profit organisation based in Newcastle. You can also find more of his articles in The Collective.

Caroline is an Australian photographer based in America with her husband Jayden, and together they created Woodnote Photography. Inspired by all of life’s beauties, their creative souls endeavour to produce images of both love and truth. The pair are also avid travellers, and are quite the musos, both having previously been in bands.

Liv works as a professional makeup artist, while also running her blog livlifemag. com. She specialises in natural and organic beauty products, and is passionate about a healthy lifestyle.

After undergoing training in London and working in NYC and Berlin before moving to Sydney, Liv established a reputation for her makeup looks that last beautifully.

Sharee is an Australiabased creative who loves all things styling! She works on fashion editorials and flatlays for a mix of publications and brands, and she jumps at the opportunity to collaborate with like-minded creatives.

Sharee is also an explorer, often travelling overseas to gain inspiration for her latest works and designs.

SEARCH OUR VENDOR DIRECTORY

WHTE.CO/DIRECTORY

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contributors

WHITE LOVES

between the sheets Being wrapped up in a cosy cocoon of linen goodness is one of the best creature comforts, and you can tell The Horse knows it!

Dabbling into the world of bedding, they now stock a linen range by IN BED. And one of the greatest things about these sheets is that the more lived in they are, the softer they become!

Grab a set in your colour of choice at thehorse.com.au

looking sharp For a slick do that would envy the Fonz, Layrite’s Original Pomade not only provides superior hold and medium shine—it’s also fragranced with the sweet scent of vanilla. Ideal for messy wet looks, it dries light to keep your hair in place all day, and never flakes. Head to mensbiz. com.au to view more of the range.

paint the town Annie Sloan has paved the way in furniture painting, and we can chalk it up to innovative thinking—pun highly intended! For your chance to try out her range of colourful chalk paints, see whitemag.com/win to enter our competition. anniesloan.com

WIN

luxurious locks Now is the perfect time to start treating your hair with Kevin Murphy’s range of remarkably luxurious products.

These lush smelling liquids will have you begging to get back into the shower to do it all over again, not to mention the blissful feeling you will notice in your hair after your first Kevin experience. kevinmurphy.com.au

perfect puffs It all began with a recipe of rosewater marshmallows crafted between sisters. And after their first batch, when they were met with an influx of orders, they knew they were onto something great!

Thus Black Pantry was born, offering a mix of homemade marshallow flavours, with custom options for weddings. shop.blackpantry.com.au

a noble choice Noble Spirits’ latest concoction, Fair Kumquat, is a game changer in the world of liqueur. The organic spirit brings a citrusy zest, offering a fun kick to your cocktail.

Find out more at noblespirits.com.au

arm candy It’s hard not to get carried away with Ted Baker’s range of bags, especially when they come in such an enticing range of striking colours! Lap up all the luxury with their variety of perspex clutches, leather totes and luggage at tedbaker.com

nailed it A splash of polish is like icing to a cake—that extra little piece that just sets it all off. Kester Black has designed an array of candy colours, metallic shimmers and everything in between.

Find your perfect shade at kesterblack.com

bespoke beauty This Aubrey gown from Karen Willis Holmes’ Bespoke Collection softly hints at elegance and refinement with its V-neck bodice, long sleeves, panelled skirt and low back. See more at karenwillisholmes.com

rustic charm COMMUNE is a new rustic wedding venue in Waterloo, NSW. It houses a variety of spaces where you could host everything from an intimate elopement with a small group of close family and friends, to a large scale ceremony and reception. thecommune.co

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white loves

WHITE LOVES

from ear to ear carefree creative

WIN

Bonnie Gray is a true artisan, dabbling in illustration, painting and typography, but with her own creative spin. To make one of her pieces your own, head to whitemag.com/win for your chance to win a personalised Acrylic A1 painting (valued at $250).

Keeko will put a smile on your face and inspire you to flash those pearly whites once you use their range. Their products are based on an ancient practice called “Oil Pulling” that detoxes the mouth and body, leaving you with glowing teeth.

Find out more at keekooil.com

caffeine fix The Little Hopper has made it all the more possible for you to get your caffeine hit at any event— even your own wedding! They’ve stocked a retro-styled mobile cart with fair trade boutique roasted coffee ready for use. Find out more about them at thelittlehopper.com

vintage find WIN

fragrant favours Murphy & Daughters’ Bon Bon Soaps are encased in vivid packaging and made from ethically-produced Australian ingredients.

See whitemag.com/win to go into the running to win a set for your next event. murphyanddaughters.bigcartel.com

At the very heart of Trumpet & Horn is a family passionate about finding vintage engagement rings that tell a history in the modern world. Almost every antique and cocktail ring in their collection is authentically vintage, meaning that they are completely unique and distinguished! trumpetandhorn.com

fruity goodness Skin Juice is a superfood infused skincare range that feeds the skin like a healthy diet feeds the body.

The Smudge Budge Face and Eye Cleansing Balm and Berry Buff Body Smoothie Scrub are full of antioxidant-rich ingredients, perfect for your pre-wedding beauty prep. skinjuice.com.au

beau-ties The original style of the “classic” bow tie has been turned upside down for that dapper groom and his men alike. These wooden bow ties are handmade with unique designs to suit all wedding styles and to match your groom’s distinctive flair. woodandbeau.com.au

step by step Emulating their older sibling, these Wooly Hobes for tots are a fun, cushioned option for those little feet that just want to keep on running! See whitemag.com/win for your chance to win this pair. au.hobes.co

WIN

salt of the earth Drawing on inspiration from the unyielding yet tranquil ocean comes Georgia Young Couture’s breathtaking collection, SALT. See the full range at georgiayoungcouture.com

piece of cake Cordy’s offers a range of mouth-watering sweet treats, with plenty of flavours and styles to suit any wedding theme.

Whether you want a two-tiered tower or a chocolate drizzled delight, Cordy’s has got you covered. And the price to match will be the cherry on top. facebook.com/cordysest2014 15

white loves

WHITE LOVES

high five Blistex means business when it comes to lip protection. They have inventively concocted a lip balm that uses five ingredients to defend your pout against nature’s harshest conditions. Find out more at blistex.com

got you covered dressed in romance Jennifer Gifford’s stunning collection, ‘Sweet Nothings’, is fused with a sense of romance and individuality. The smoothest of silks and strapless gowns beam with modern, classic and undeniable elegance. These dresses are tailored to reflect the bride and her own unique style. jennifergifforddesigns.com

With draping sleeves and a floorkissing hem, Spell’s Wildflower Maxi Kimono makes for the perfect “morning of the wedding” cover-up.

It’s made from viscose, and designed with an original Spell hand-drawn print, emanating quality and care.

See spelldesigns.com.au

timeless treasures e.g.etal is a Melbourne gallery that represents and supports Australia’s thriving contemporary jewellery design movement. And as a special treat for our readers, they are offering $30 off your next online purchase (orders must be over $150). Simply enter WHITE30 at the checkout. egetal.com.au

take note Some would say that organisation is the key, but they never said it couldn’t be pretty, right? With heavenly tones, lush textures and unique handpainted illustrations, Rifle Paper Co. has the most divine collection of stationery. riflepaperco.com

shine bright

feeling cleansed

WIN

Kate Somerville’s Goat Milk Moisturising Cleanser is soft and decadently creamy, formulated to rinse away makeup and impurities without associated dryness or stripping. Head to katesomerville.com to find out more about her range.

Bared’s design ethos is about creating modern, classic styles that are wearable, timeless and trans-seasonal for life! And this thoughtful brand is giving you the chance to try out a pair of their shoes yourself. Head to whitemag.com/win to go into the running to win your choice of shoe from their men’s or women’s collections. bared.com.au

bright bounty Winnow Chocolates is a product of worldly travels.

They provide artisan chocolates for weddings, events and corporate giving, and most of their range is gluten-free, organic and without artificial additives and preservatives. winnowchocolates.com

delicate beauty With a beautiful soft shade, these Violet Valentine Sheer Lace Camisole and Silk Georgette Shorties by SJ Lingerie are feminine and oh-so-comfortable, serving as the perfect light eveningwear. Head to whitemag.com/win for your chance to win this delicate set. And you can check out more from their range at sjlingerie.com.au

time-tellers The Horse never ceases to amaze us with their sleek and practical design. They have magnified what is essential and edited out the excess to produce a modern mix of signature timepieces. Check them out at thehorse.com.au

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white loves

WIN

A LIFE OF JOY EXPERIENCING AND OFFERING JOY IN MARRIAGE IS A CONSCIOUS DECISION, ONE YOU MUST WHOLEHEARTEDLY WORK AT. Words: Emma Plant | Photography: Woodnote Photography

I

thought I knew joy when I first tried a pulled beef, black bean burrito in the isle of Cabo, Mexico. It was 2005

and I remember it perfectly; dripping with cheese, guac, a hefty load of salsa and wrapped in the fluffiest of cornbread.

It was happiness at first bite. But then it was gone and I was left with a Mexican sadness. So it wasn’t really true joy, it was just a really, really great burrito. While it satisfied my hunger and introduced me to “pulled” meats (thank you hipsters), it did not leave me with any kind of lasting happiness.

Joy is a journey; it’s not a destination. Joy resembles its youngling happiness. Though it is not the same. It is deeper, richer, lovelier and transforming. Similar but not synonymous.

I would like to suggest that joy is not experienced unless it is in relationship. How can it be? For even if we experience joy in solitude, we still need to have a decent relationship with our selves and our thinking to recognise and dwell in it.

I’ll be honest with you, prior to writing this article my computer absolutely soiled itself. I have no legitimate technical skills, and unfortunately my innate messiness in real life somehow transfers itself onto any technology I touch. Have I spilt

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a life of joy

lemonade on my keypad? Yes. Have I woken up with a face

thoroughly or alphabetise the cereal (I know … role reversal.

full of QWERTY? Yes. Do I have ingrained rice from my said

Like I said, obscurely clean). He likes smooth shaved legs. I

love of Mexican in my USB port? I’m not saying. So this

let him shave his legs. Joking again. But seriously he has to

article is coming to you from my obscurely tidy husband’s

do it for football purposes. I think.

laptop. Where his passwords all revolve around the theme of happiness (I’ll get him to change them later!). As I logged in, for the briefest of seconds, I wondered if it was a sign.

Then I realised the pursuit of happiness is a constant in every human being’s life.

We are all travailing and pushing and crossing our fingers while we wish for happiness. The most valuable place we look for it is in the realm of relationships. We have all heard these persistent gems:

All these things are fantastic. They make coupledom and marriage all the more sweet. They make us happy. Yet alone, these things, or my husband cannot make me a joyful person. A person who is not joyful cannot have an enjoyable life. Sorry to slap you in the face with what seems like a wet fish. Hear me out though.

Have you ever hopped in your car, drove to your destination, parked the car, taken the keys out of the ignition, grabbed your handbag and then realised you have no recollection

“I just want to be happy.”

of driving there. You just can’t specifically remember how

“I just want him to be happy.”

you arrived. It’s called autopilot or Highway Hypnosis. It is

“He makes me so happy.”

“Look how happy they are.”

“They look so tired, they have kids now.”

Just joking about the last one. But seriously. On that note, “happy” is a kid’s word. J.D. Salinger suggested that “happy” comes from circumstance, whereas joy comes from within.

My husband makes me happy when he brings home some Tim Tams. We look happy when we are at the movies or on a hot date. I make my husband happy when I clean the shower

~ “JOY IS A JOURNEY; IT’S NOT A DESTINATION.”

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a life of joy

real. The driver is completely familiar with the route and the

tastebuds. I would lovingly prepare him coq au vin, or a

vehicle that they are in. Boredom strikes or a more interesting

beautiful curry—dishes that would leave my friends completely

thought takes flight and the driver is engrossed in their

stroking my ego and have me considering a different career.

thoughts (or imagination) and their subconscious takes the

When I asked my husband what he thought, after 15 minutes

wheel. Eeek! I do it every week.

of silent chewing, he would often say he didn’t really like it, or

You could have driven past a hilarious pedestrian, missed a bubblegum-sunset, overlooked a field of flowers or totally neglected a super witty bumper sticker. It doesn’t matter how

that the flavours were too strong or too fancy (gravy is fancy).

Just recently he emphatically wished humans didn’t have tastebuds … then food could just be fuel … like a car.

beautiful or fantastic or expressly right up your alley this drive

This specific relationship scenario may be different from what

was. You missed it. It is the same in everyday life. It is the

other’s face. From what you will face. The certain thing is

same in relationships. We are responsible for being mindful

that you will have these “scenarios”. How I responded to it is

and for driving the mind we have.

within my jurisdiction.

Your lover may shower you with compliments and kisses,

I can’t make my partner like restaurant-quality food, however

and you miss it. Maybe you are thinking about how he

I can choose to laugh at the situation. I can choose to try

doesn’t like your taste in music. Or maybe that date night

new restaurants with my foodie friends and cherish those

went awry and your expectations were dashed—action

moments with them. Like Bukowski I can serve my guy ham

movie instead of rom-com. Late instead of on-time. No

on rye and he is as happy as ever. Life is easier for me.

time to do your makeup and you feel like Charlize Theron in Monster (not Snow White & the Huntsman). That is not your partner’s responsibility and circumstances are often outside of our control. Nonetheless we are in control of how we act

Joy needs to be nurtured in our thinking. We need to be proactive about thinking about “good” things and turning our focus onto the stuff that works. I personally find it odd that

and to a huge extent, how we think.

I love cooking. I love food shows. I can banter food all day long with anyone. When I was younger, my parents praised my cooking. It encouraged me. It made me love cooking for people. When I started dating my now-husband, I realised I loved the one guy on the planet that didn’t really have

~ “EVEN IF WE EXPERIENCE JOY IN SOLITUDE, WE STILL NEED TO HAVE A DECENT RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR SELVES AND OUR THINKING TO RECOGNISE AND DWELL IN IT.”

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most gals will have long-term success with friendships, but they will not have that same success (in terms of happiness, satisfaction and joy) with their husbands. Psychologist Victoria Costello attributes it to the relative importance we place on relationships. Alternatively said, the success of all the relationships in our lives depends directly on how we think about them, and what we do with them. We are the bottom line.

The bottom line of a joyful marriage is two joy-filled people.

Just like life, just like joy, marriage is actually a journey not an end. You can look at the journey as an adventure, or you can look at it as a slow deathmatch. You can look at togetherness as a series of joyful growth seasons. Or you can choose to look at it as a series of hard scenarios. The best thing is we can actually choose.

~ “THE SUCCESS OF ALL THE RELATIONSHIPS IN OUR LIVES DEPENDS DIRECTLY ON HOW WE THINK ABOUT THEM, AND WHAT WE DO WITH THEM.”

A U N I QU E EV E N T SPACE B Y PRU N ELLA

Photography by Beck Rocchi

prunella.com.au/churchill

CHOOSING HAPPINESS

A HAPPY MARRIAGE REQUIRES GRACE, FORGIVENESS AND THE CONSTANT PURSUIT OF INNER PEACE AND CONTENTMENT. Words: Sabrina Peters | Photography: Heart and Colour | Styling: The Elopement Collective | Venue: Warehouse No.5 | Florals: Nesst | Makeup: Avia Beauty | Robes: Cookies & Ry | Giftbox: The Gifting Collective

“H

appily ever after” doesn’t happen by accident. It’s a CHOICE. Life is actually a series of continual

choices. Some have small repercussions, invisible to the eye, while others are more defined and evident to those around us. Either way, every choice has a consequence, like a pebble in a pond. Each word has a ripple effect that builds others up or tears them down. Each action has an aftermath that draws us closer to our spouse, or creates a chasm that divides.

Ultimately we are ALL given the ability to CHOOSE. To choose our attitude, to choose our spouse, to choose happiness in life. Sadly, we often forget this truth and allow our emotions to dictate the climate of our lives.

Well today I’d love to remind you (and me) that the ball is in your court and the state of your marriage is not up to fate; it’s what you make it friend. What happens on the inside of you (in your heart, your thoughts and your emotions) has far more influence on the outcome of your life than circumstances ever will. So how can you foster marital satisfaction and contentment? These three simple principles are a good

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CHOOSING HAPPINESS

~ “HAVE AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE, A HEART THAT FORGIVES AND A SPIRIT THAT PURSUES JOY AT ALL TIMES.”

place to start. Have an attitude of gratitude, a heart that

access to all areas of your heart, their words and actions

forgives and a spirit that pursues joy at all times.

have the potential to pierce its very depths. At times, marriage

Appreciation in a relationship is absolutely vital in nurturing feelings of connectedness and intimacy. It seems like a no-brainer, but couples often forget to vocalise their appreciation. I know I have (many, many times). It’s not

will hurt. But with every wound there is an opportunity to restore, to forgive, to show and receive grace. With the inevitability of being disappointed and hurt in marriage comes the reality that you need to learn how to forgive, continually.

deliberate or out of spite. I simply forget that being thankful

Forgiveness doesn’t mean what the other person did is okay;

and expressing thankfulness are two very different things.

it doesn’t mean condoning or excusing hurtful behaviour.

There are times in my own marriage where my husband has done something nice, like taken the kids for a few hours while I got my hair done or put away a pile of laundry (without being asked) and I’d think to myself, “Oh, that’s nice, what

Forgiveness is “the wilful giving up of resentment in the face of another’s considerable injustice”. Forgiveness means letting your partner off the hook so you don’t end up bitter and broken.

a good guy”, but I wouldn’t articulate my thoughts, and

They say resentment is like drinking poison and expecting

expected him to read my mind. Well feeling gratitude and

the other person to die. Wow. Hit the nail on the head.

not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving

The sooner we learn to let go and forgive in marriage, the

it. As much as I was grateful for his gesture, it didn’t create

healthier we will be, mind, body and soul. Forgiveness isn’t a

closeness and intimacy unless I verbalised my gratefulness.

feeling; it’s a conscious decision. Forgiveness isn’t a

The word “thankyou” is superglue in a marriage. I noticed

once off act; it’s a continual attitude of grace and compassion.

when I would tell my husband I was grateful for his help; he

Marriage can be a roller-coaster of emotions, but teaches true

would contribute more around the house. So go ahead and

faithfulness. Feelings are fickle—they come and they go.

vocalise your gratitude. Be specific. Do it often and cultivate an environment of appreciation. Relationship experts have found that in everyday life, happy couples have 20 positive comments to every negative one. Simple things like a compliment, a thankyou, or an affectionate touch will keep the fire alive and burning bright.

Another active decision that leads to a happy and healthy marriage is learning how to forgive. My husband and I love each other very much, but no-one has made me cry more than my Mr Right, and vice versa. When you give someone

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CHOOSING HAPPINESS

Some days you may look at your spouse with a nostalgic twinkle in your eye like you’re 18 again, other days you may look at your partner and think, “Gee, this person is seriously annoying right now.” It’s OK. Because love is not just a FEELING, it’s a choice—one that needs to be made often.

Don’t trust your emotions because they can go up and down like a roller-coaster. Stay committed. The true test of whether you really love someone is how you treat them when you don’t necessarily feel “in love” with them. Marriage is consistency. Consistency is not sexy but it is necessary!

Choosing to be happy doesn’t mean that you don’t have struggles in your marriage; it means that you are not going to allow those struggles to destroy your marriage. At the end of the day you can’t control what happens to you, but you can choose how you respond to it and your response literally has the power to change the situation itself. Happily ever after is not a fairytale. It can be real life if we are willing to live gratefully, forgive freely and pursue inner peace and contentment despite what life (or marriage) throws at us.

~ “WHAT HAPPENS ON THE INSIDE OF YOU (IN YOUR HEART, YOUR THOUGHTS AND YOUR EMOTIONS) HAS FAR MORE INFLUENCE ON THE OUTCOME OF YOUR LIFE THAN CIRCUMSTANCES EVER WILL.”

13 NOVEMBER 2016 4.30PM - 8.30PM THE COURTYARD ON DOUGLAS 46 DOUGLAS ST, MILTON

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PURE + SIMPLE

AS A RELATIONSHIP AND A MARRIAGE EVOLVES, DOES THE SIMPLE JOY OF BEING WITH EACH OTHER CHANGE? OR DO YOU JUST FIND NEW WAYS TO BE JOYFUL? Words: Laura Jackel | Photography: Braden Young Photo

T

he first time I saw my husband Jules in 2001 is imprinted in my mind like all of my extremely joyful or

shatteringly painful memories are.

The memory goes like this; I step out of a lift ready to start another shift as a function waitress at Customs House in Sydney. I am holding a tray of mini smoked salmon tarts and am about to start my first lap around the room of Christmas partygoers. I look over at the drinks table and notice a very smiley, handsome blonde man overfilling champagne glasses. I blush as he looks at me to introduce himself and I feel like a massive idiot for blushing. He later tells me he thought it was cute.

We got together officially just days later and those first few weeks and months of our relationship were filled with the simple joy and lightness of being that comes from spending time with a person you like very, very, much.

When Jules and I decided to get married it felt like a very natural and easy decision. We knew we wanted to be together and while I was just 24, it didn’t matter. Our joy at having found each other and in being in each other’s company was at that stage, enough.

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PURE + SIMPLE

~ “WE HAVE NEVER FORGOTTEN THE IMPORTANCE OF SHOWING EACH OTHER KINDNESS AND AFFECTION.”

Our wedding date was set for September 27 2003—a time long before Instagram, Pinterest and Facebook—and so we set about the planning in a very old-fashioned and relaxed way. We wanted a day that celebrated our love and was also a lot of fun for everyone.

In the lead up to the big day, we stayed up late drinking cheap wine in our little Ikea furnished unit hand-making our invites, drafting the guest list and table plans. The family all lent a hand with almost every aspect: venue research, the food, the cake, the hair and the photography. I chose one of the very first wedding dresses I tried on and I found our simple but lovely bridesmaids’ dresses in a department store sale.

My memories of our wedding are simply of us smiling and laughing all day long. I spent more time on writing a speech than I did choosing table decorations/flowers/a makeup artist combined and I think that summed up the vibe of the day.

It was joyous not because we spent thousands on making the venue look beautiful but because we were fuzzy with love and the simple joy of being joined as man and wife. That happy feeling spread through our guests and could be felt in every corner of the room.

As the time from that beautiful day stretches further and

another and talk as much as we can. Where once it might

further back into our shared history, our marriage has evolved

have come naturally, it just needs a bit more thought and

and so of course has our love for one another. While it can

attention now.

be hard to recapture the gut churning joy of those early months and years, it has not left us completely and we have to try to be careful not to let the everyday demands of our busy lives swallow us whole.

While we always appreciate the importance of the odd weekend away or dinners and coffees out, our shared love for our five-year-old son is a huge and unending source of joy for us both. We can talk about him between ourselves for

Of course we don’t always get it right, but after thirteen years

hours on end knowing we could never bore one another and

of marriage and fifteen as a couple, we have had our fair

just the tiniest of exchanged glances between us when he does

share of dizzying ups and terrifying downs, and yet here we

something kind or clever is a shared understanding of the

are together, still smiling and laughing with each other.

love we have for him and the joy he has brought into our lives.

So how do we try our best to keep our relationship joyful? It

We find joy in simple activities like reading books side-by-side

helps to focus on the simple things we love to do together

in front of the fire and occasionally laughing or remarking on

and for each other as well as taking time to be with one

a particularly brilliant passage. We like cooking meals

35

PURE + SIMPLE

„

together, going for walks or bike rides as a family and we simply enjoy talking to each other over a glass of wine about

~

the news or issues that are important to us.

“WHILE IT CAN BE HARD TO RECAPTURE

We have never forgotten the importance of showing each

THE GUT CHURNING JOY OF THOSE EARLY

other kindness and affection and a simple kiss before work,

MONTHS AND YEARS, IT HAS NOT LEFT

bear hug after a tough day or an appreciative ‘thank you’

US COMPLETELY AND WE HAVE TO TRY TO

should not be underestimated.

BE CAREFUL NOT TO LET THE EVERYDAY

We still fight and disagree and huff and puff over each other’s

DEMANDS OF OUR BUSY LIVES SWALLOW

failings to put the clothes away or bring in the bins, but we

US WHOLE.”

work at our relationship and continue to focus on the simple, not extraordinary moments of joy we share because we both know that it is these little, cherished, private moments that are what matter the most in the end.

BUSINESS FE ATURE

J O N A T H A N D AV I D P H O T O G R A P H Y WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY INFUSED WITH EMOTION.

Led by passion and a heart for capturing

looks and then took a step back and found my

approach to photographing a wedding is never

memorable photos, Jonathan David’s

own style. I keep up-to-date and inspired by

the same. I don’t have checklists; I prefer to

budding career in photography emerged

attending conferences and workshops these

work off the emotions around me. This is the

from taking to the books to discover all

days—I’ve got some unbelievably talented

biggest day in someone’s life and they have

about his craft. Through complete immersion

peers out there!

entrusted me with their memories. That’s a lot

into the field, and having a dedicated mentor to guide him in his journey, Jonathan found the

What was the first shoot you did? My first

of faith and I take that seriously.

ever shoot was the wedding of a close friend,

What do you bring to your photography? I

which I did for free. Looking back, I don’t know

hope couples can feel how genuine I am and

how or why she would have trusted me with

how dedicated I am to making sure they really

something so important, but I’m so grateful she

enjoy their day. I tell my couples that no matter

When did you fall in love with photography?

did because it led to the creation of Jonathan

how hard I try, I can’t Photoshop stress—so

My dad was a wedding photographer in Cairo,

David Photography and the freedom of becoming

I bring a Zen-like calm to the wedding day

Egypt and the studio there still exists to this

my own boss. My first professional, paid shoot

and ultimately to my photos too. My aim is to

day and continues to be a family-run business.

was shortly after and slightly embarrassing

capture raw and honest moments and the only

I remember being surrounded by cameras

to recall. It was a 30th birthday party in Kings

way I can do that is by allowing my couples to

growing up and very curious about photos of

Cross, Sydney. I wasn’t of age yet and had

feel comfortable enough to be themselves.

the studio (I was born here in Sydney). I think

heard stories about “The Cross” so I arranged

all little boys are awe-struck by what their dad’s

to have a chaperone. Luckily, the chaperone

do and think they are the greatest—I was no

was my high school mentor, who became a

different. That curiosity about what my dad

huge influence on the direction my life and the

did led to me giving it a try, and because I’m

course my business would take.

courage and drive to pursue his passion fulltime, venturing out into his own business. Here he shares the ins and outs of living creatively.

a perfectionist by nature, I just found myself

What’s next for you? Well, I’m getting married this year, so that’s a big “next” for me. I can’t wait. I’m a pretty sentimental guy so I actually get emotional thinking about it. I have been photographing other people’s weddings for so

What do you love about photographing

long that I can’t believe I’ll be experiencing the

weddings? I’m going to sound like a big sap,

other side of it. I somehow also managed to

but I actually like imagining how my photos will

convince the sweetest, strongest, most out-of-

How did you go about becoming a

be passed down through generations. One day

my-league girl I’ve ever met to stay by my side

photographer? It was pretty much passion-

the young couple I’m taking photos of today

for life, so I kind of feel like I’m getting away

led learning. In the beginning, I read anything I

will have children, grandchildren and great-

with something pretty big.

could get my hands on: technical theory books,

grandchildren that they will open up and share

portraiture, books on how to draw out emotion,

their wedding album with. Some of my photos

how to make best use of natural light … I just

may even end up staying in the same spot on

poured over book after book, article after article.

their walls for decades. I like the idea of the

I studied what I liked and didn’t like about

longevity of my work. I also love figuring out

specific photos. I tried to emulate established

how to best capture the relationship in front

info@jonathandavid.com.au

photographers to see if I could create similar

of me. No two couples are the same and my

jonathandavid.com.au

engrossed and pushing myself to take better and better photos.

39

business feature

J OY F UL CR E AT OR S

“TRUE HAPPINESS COMES FROM THE JOY OF DEEDS WELL DONE, THE ZEST OF CREATING THINGS NEW.” —ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPERY Photography: Madeline Druce Photography | Styling + Florals: Prunella | Cake: Miss Ladybird Cakes | Stationery: Santiago Sunbird | Chairs: Dann Event Hire | Venue: Churchill

W

hen you hand a team of leading creatives a bright pastel palette and tell them to “have fun”, you know

the results are going to be sensational. What culminated from our creative collaboration with these wedding industry faves is this adorable scene that oozes playfulness and joy. It is emblematic of the sweet happiness that couples share on the day they become husband and wife.

VANESSA PARTRIDGE + CARIS HAUGHAN Prunella We always find joy in our creative process and appreciate the fact that no two days are the same: one day we could be styling spaces, and others we could be working on the floral arrangements. We have the opportunity to meet other likeminded creatives and working with flowers means that we really embrace the change in the seasons. But best of all, we absolutely love working together with our team and having lots of laughs.

Our love of flowers naturally brought us here into this industry.

We love weddings because the occasion allows us to deliver some of our most beautiful and creative work.

At Prunella we see flowers as a vehicle for communicating a wonderful sense of occasion, love, joy and abundance. Our goal is for our couples and their guests to really experience this on their wedding day.

41

joyful creators

GINA TUBB Miss Ladybird Cakes The joys behind my work are the different ways I get to use my creativity, from playing with beautiful flowers to experimenting with colours and flavours. I feel a constant need to be creating things! Luckily I have the perfect job that allows me to do this.

I’m a sucker for a good wedding—I just love the emotion attached to wedding days! Oh gosh, I cry at every wedding I go to! My love language has always been expressed through the food I create and in some way working in the wedding industry is an extension of that love.

One of the most common phrases clients say to me in preparation for their wedding cake is, “I don’t mind what it looks like as long as it tastes good!” I love making cakes that look visually appealing (and represent the uniqueness of the couple) without compromising on taste. After all, I want all of my clients to enjoy every part of their special day!

SARAH HANKINSON Santiago Sunbird I love that I get to create imagery that brings a touch of beauty to the world. It’s also quite a meditative process using watercolour and creating artworks with this beautiful medium.

Weddings are such fun occasions and I feel lucky to be a part of the special day with our clients. The invitation is the first insight guests get of the day so I’m fortunate to help set the tone for the look and feel of the wedding. I remember my move to the wedding industry happened quite organically when my sister and business partner, Bree, and I were commissioned to create a few wedding stationery suites and we realised our work really lends itself to this industry.

We currently work in a co-working space called The Windsor Workshop surrounded by other creatives which is so inspiring.

43

joyful creators

NE W BEGINNINGS

AFTER RELEASING THE NEW-LOOK MAGAZINE, WE KICKED UP OUR HEELS IN CELEBRATION OF THE NEXT CHAPTER. Photography: The Stag & Doe – thestaganddoe.com

A

fter weeks of planning, chatting with our industry partners and plain ole just getting excited, our Relaunch

Party was finally here! And what a night it was! Held at the beautiful District 01 venue in Surry Hills, NSW, a mix of our wonderful contributors and favourite industry people rocked up to join us in celebrating our reimagined magazine.

45

NEW BEGINNINGS

OUR PURPOSE This year, we reached the incredible milestone of 31 issues. And like many of us when we reach our 30s, white has come to a true turning point in its life. “Over the years we have helped so many couples create the most incredible wedding celebrations with the help of some of the most talented people in the wedding industry. We’ve pushed the boundaries and delivered page after page of beauty, honesty and inspiration,” shared Carla Burrell, white magazine’s Founding Editor.

“It has been an incredible journey for us, but one that has now given us the confidence to dream bigger and focus more on the reason why we created the magazine and our fast growing blog; to come alongside couples to guide and encourage them in the great adventure of marriage. To do that, we decided to turn the magazine on its head!”

What has emerged is a grown up wedding magazine that celebrates marriage as the starting point for the incredible journey couples have chosen to make together. It rejects the throwaway

~ “NOW, MORE THAN EVER BEFORE, IT IS OUR AMBITION TO INSPIRE, ENCOURAGE AND CHALLENGE COUPLES TO BUILD A MARRIAGE AS BEAUTIFUL AS THEIR WEDDING DAY.”

culture of marriage and seeks to bring back the notion of true love, sparking a fire into relationships that go the distance.

World-class writers, photographers and creatives have been brought together to take readers on a journey that begins as soon as they choose to spend the rest of their lives together. It helps them to craft a truly meaningful and unique celebration that sets the tone for their adventure, and stays with them through the everyday challenges and joys of their marriage. “This is where our heart is and we’re excited to inspire our readers on a whole new level,” says Carla.

Now, more than ever before, it is our ambition to inspire, encourage and challenge couples to build a marriage as beautiful as their wedding day. With such a universal message to share, we’re ready to bring white to a global audience.

47

NEW BEGINNINGS

STYLING COORDINATION SIMPLY PEACHY simplypeachy.com FLORALS OCTOPUS’ GARDEN octopusgarden.net.au CAKE CORDY’S CAKES facebook.com/cordysest2014 CHOCOLATES WINNOW CHOCOLATES winnowchocolates.com COCKTAILS TROLLEY’D trolleyd.com GIN NOBLE SPIRITS noblespirits.com.au COFFEE THE LITTLE HOPPER thelittlehopper.com FOOD STREET SLIDERS sydneyfoodtrucks.com.au/trucks/street-sliders SODA KARMA COLA karmacola.com.au GELATO MR GOATY GELATO mrgoatygelato.com.au MUSIC TILLEE MUSIC tilleemusic.com PHOTO BOOTH THE PHOTO BOOTH GUYS photobooth.co HOST JOSH WITHERS MARRIAGE CELEBRANT marriedbyjosh.com CLOTHING (CARLA) ELK elkaccessories.com HAIR + MAKEUP (CARLA) LIV LUNDELIUS makeup.livlundelius.com GIFT BAGS PEEP DESIGNS peepdesigns.com GIFT BAG CONTENTS: CHAMPAGNE YELLOWGLEN yellowglen.com, RINGS SAMANTHA WILLS samanthawills.com, STATIONERY THE DISTILLERY the-distillery.com.au, NAIL POLISH KESTER BLACK kesterblack.com, FRAGRANCE VANESSA MEGAN vanessamegan.com, LOTION MOR morboutique.com, TAGS SOW ‘N SOW sownsow.com, MARSHMALLOWS BLACK PANTRY shop.blackpantry.com.au, CANDLES MADAME BELLE CANDLES madamebelle.com.au

49

NEW BEGINNINGS

BUSINESS FE ATURE

T H E W H I T E AV E N U E SIGNATURE BEAUTY LOOKS THAT ARE NATURAL AND FLAWLESS.

When a self-confessed perfectionist

changing. It’s a challenge, but it makes me feel

“Let us make your wedding day special! We

amasses 18 years’ experience in the bridal

great when the bride walks away feeling beautiful.”

understand that choosing a hair and makeup

industry, and opens up her own covetable beauty salon, you know you’re in for quality.

Kelly Hopkins founded The White Avenue with a desire to create a unique experience for her clients. “I created the business to personalise my creativity to suit the individual bride.”

She takes a personal approach with each bride that she encounters, and when this is coupled with her technical background, beauty ensues.

She is there for the full wedding experience, working with brides in advance of the big day.

“Our wedding package is as unique as you.

We work with every bride to make sure they’re comfortable on the day, and we recommend this consultation and trial with our wedding specialist and makeup artist in advance.”

With a team of dedicated and passionate stylists behind her, all hand-picked for their

“We offer a relaxed atmosphere, great verbal

character and expertise, they are paving the

connection with the bride and her bridesmaids,

way in the beauty industry, ready to take on

and a thorough understanding of the needs

the world.

and style the bride is after.”

artist is a very personal process which is why we feel it’s important for us to provide a personal and approachable service so that you walk away feeling amazing.”

It has been a long road for Kelly in founding and developing her business, and she has a wealth of advice for others looking to explore their own creative ventures.

“Double-check everything and be organised. I have learnt so much over the years, and have taken lots of risks. Be ready to make mistakes and learn from them. Work hard and be ready to take on a challenge. Enjoy and focus on

“We are a strong team of professionals, both

what works for you, and don’t do too much at

Kelly has a particular passion for editorial and

mobile and in salon. We use our experience

once. One thing my husband taught me was,

bridal styling, becoming renowned for her

to adapt to each project with a unique and

‘Get the little things right and the bigger things

signature look that is natural and flawless.

creative style, and we pride ourselves on putting

will fall into place,’ and I’m a big believer of that.”

Her work has graced the pages of Modern

our bridal parties at ease during their experience.”

Bride and Cosmopolitan Bride, and has been showcased at events such as Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week and Fashion Palette.

The White Avenue’s services are available throughout New South Wales, with the team happy to travel for weddings from the Hunter

“I love my job as I get to meet some inspiring

Valley and the Blue Mountains to the South

kelly@thewhiteavenue.com.au

people, and work in an industry that is always

Coast and Southern Highlands.

thewhiteavenue.com.au

51

business feature

Photography by Amelia Fullarton

SPRING FE VER SHE BLOSSOMS WITH AN ABUNDANCE OF BEAUTY. Words: Liv Lundelius | Illustrations: Inkling Design

NOT TOO POLISHED PONY Spring is all about having fun and being carefree. A textured high pony with a bit of bounce is the perfect hairstyle for this season. A few wispy bits are essential to keep the style effortless.

Team it with a fruity, glossy, raspberry lip and rosy cheeks for a pop of colour. Enhance the eyes with soft neutral eyeshadow tones. Finish by smudging a brown pencil into the lash line for the extra definition that still looks natural, and apply a volumising waterproof mascara. Pair with a colourful pastel nail polish on your fingers and toenails.

PASTEL LOVE Tousled half-up styles with messy braids, together with glowing, pastel makeup is a winning combo for your spring wedding. Choose a radiant foundation and add highlights on top of your cheekbones, cupid’s bow and bridge of the nose. Add a soft pink blush on the apple of the cheek and blend well to achieve a seamless finish. Fill your eyebrows in with brow powder, and use a liquid or cream eye shadow in a shimmery champagne colour to highlight the eyelids and inner corners of your eyes. Apply a coat-lengthening mascara. Finish with a pastel pale nude lip.

53

SPRING FEVER

POETRY IN MOTION SHE MOVES WITH A SPRING IN HER STEP, INVITING HER SOUL TO DANCE.

PHOTOGRAPHY LARA HOTZ larahotz.com DIRECTION CARLA BURRELL STYLING ASSISTANT RENEE MANTLE HAIR + MAKEUP MAKEUP BY ALEXANDRA makeupbyalexandra.com.au FLORALS MY VIOLET myviolet.com.au CINEMATOGRAPHY LIGHT NOISE FILMS lightnoisefilms.com.au MODEL EMMA WATKINS VENUE COMMUNE thecommune.co

DRESS PAOLO SEBASTIAN paolosebastian.com SHOES BLOCH bloch.com.au

55

POETRY IN MOTION

THIS PAGE DRESS SUZANNE HARWARD suzanneharward.com SHOES BLOCH bloch.com.au VEIL GRACE LOVES LACE graceloves lace.com.au OPPOSITE PAGE TOP MATCH MADE BRIDAL—THE BABUSHKA BALLERINA thebabushkaballerina.com.au SKIRT LOVE FOUND TRUE—THE BABUSHKA BALLERINA thebabushkaballerina.com.au SHOES BLOCH bloch.com.au HEADPIECE CRYSTAL ECLIPSE CROWNS etsy.com/au/shop/CrystalEclipseCrowns

57

POETRY IN MOTION

THIS PAGE DRESS GEORGIA YOUNG COUTURE georgiayoungcouture.com HEADPIECE CRYSTAL ECLIPSE CROWNS etsy.com/au/ shop/CrystalEclipseCrowns JEWELLERY ARISTIDES FINE JEWELS aristidesfinejewels.com OPPOSITE PAGE BODYSUIT GRACE LOVES LACE graceloveslace.com.au SKIRT ILKA weareilka.com.au SHOES BLOCH bloch.com.au

59

POETRY IN MOTION

THIS PAGE DRESS CORSTON COUTURE corston.com.au JEWELLERY ARISTIDES FINE JEWELS aristidesfinejewels.com OPPOSITE PAGE DRESS JUDY COPLEY COUTURE judycopleycouture.com HEADPIECE BRIDE LA BOHEME bridelaboheme.com.au NECKLACE ARISTIDES FINE JEWELS aristidesfinejewels.com

61

POETRY IN MOTION

THIS PAGE DRESS HELEN CONSTANCE—WEDDINGS BY MASTER/SLAVE weddingsbymasterslave.com.au HEADPIECE PERCY HANDMADE percyhandmade.com OPPOSITE PAGE DRESS CORSTON COUTURE corston.com.au RINGS ARISTIDES FINE JEWELS aristidesfinejewels.com

63

POETRY IN MOTION

THIS PAGE DRESS KAREN WILLIS HOLMES karenwillisholmes.com SHOES BLOCH bloch.com.au VEIL BRIDE LA BOHEME bridelaboheme.com.au OPPOSITE PAGE DRESS TATYANA MERENYUK—LOVE MARIE lovemarie.com.au HEADPIECE SHUT THE FRONT DOOR shutthefrontdoor.com.au

65

POETRY IN MOTION

BUSINESS FE ATURE

SILQUE PHOTOGR APHY BRINGING PERSONALITY TO WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY.

You know you are in for a treat when you

so I decided to teach myself by watching

supportive of each other and they inspire me

book a quirky photographer like Ashleigh

copious amounts of online videos and getting

to work hard and never give up.

Croxford. A lover of good chai lattes, with a

hands on experience by going along to photo

heart for puppies and music, she likes to be

shoots with other photographers.

the “fly on the wall” at weddings, showing the real story, not the couple’s relationship with the camera. Read on to find out more about her unique brand of wedding photography.

What do you bring to your photography? I think the thing most people say they like about

What do you love about photographing

my photography is the personality I bring to it.

weddings? I just love weddings; the laughter,

I’m a massive dork and never afraid to laugh at

the tears, the grandpa that falls asleep during

myself which I think helps people feel at ease

the ceremony. They are full of honest emotions

and also allows them to be themselves in front

When did you fall in love with photography?

and bring so many people together. I love that

of the camera. When someone is comfortable,

I guess I’ve always had a subconscious love

my job is to capture those emotions and retell

it shows in pictures and allows me to capture

for photography as a hobby, but never in my

their story through my photos.

the intimate in-between moments which can

wildest dreams did I think I’d be lucky enough to pursue it as a career. I love to sit at cafes watching people interact and guessing what their story is like, so I guess my love for photography is an extension of my love for people watching. It has allowed me to slow down and see the beauty in everything. I really take it all in now.

How did you go about becoming a photographer? I was at a stage in my life where I needed a creative outlet because I didn’t feel my job at the time was satisfying. I started an interior design course which I loved, but I didn’t think it was something I wanted to pursue further. The whole time I was dabbling

What was the first wedding you captured

be missed.

like? My first wedding was one I will always

Can you describe the signature style of

remember. They were friends of mine (Hi Tom

your photography? It’s hard to describe

and Jen!) and it was a surprise wedding in their

photography in words. It’s like describing

backyard. They told their nearest and dearest

music; it’s more about what you feel. But I

they were eloping overseas and that this was

guess you could say my style is quirky, fun,

to be their farewell party.

romantic yet unobtrusive. I like to be a fly on

Once it was announced that it was actually a wedding, the look on people’s faces was

the wall and focus on the unforced emotions and candid moments throughout the day.

priceless. Everyone was jumping in excitement

What’s next for you? I’m currently on a plane

and crying with tears of joy. It was seriously the

to New Zealand for a short getaway. I plan to

best. I learnt that day that it’s actually super

hire a car and see where the wind takes me!

hard to photograph a wedding when you are

Travelling without a plan is so satisfying. I just

trying to hold back the tears.

love travelling in general. It’s chicken soup for the soul.

with photography and didn’t realise it was

Where do you draw your inspiration from?

actually the thing that made me the happiest

Music is such a huge inspiration in my life

and the creative outlet I was looking for. So I

and I love to play music that creates a certain

left my interior design course halfway through

mood. At the moment, I’m especially loving

and began a diploma in photography. I’m the

listening to Icelandic bands such as Ásgeir

kind of person that gives 100 per cent and

or Ólafur Arnalds while editing. I’m also really

eager to get things done. As much as I loved

lucky to be surrounded by so many talented

hello@silquephotography.com.au

the course, I wanted to learn at a faster pace

photographers in Canberra. We’re all so

silquephotography.com.au

67

business feature

EMMA + OLIVER U S A

“THANK YOU FOR BEING MY COMFORT AND WARMTH, AND SOURCE OF NOURISHMENT FOR THE SOUL.” PHOT OG R APHY Be c k Roc c h i

69

EMMA + OLIVER

DEAR OLIVER I want to share many, many more years with you adventuring in our caravan around Australia with the pooches, and also all over the world.

I want to seek out all the best spots to toast our lives together, and continue to kick your butt at board games for a long time to come!

I don’t really care where we live, as long as it’s with you (and surrounded by dogs!). It’s rather extraordinary to meet someone as like-minded as me, and I’m thankful every day that we have each other. Cheers to us! Love you!

71

EMMA + OLIVER

DEAR EMMA I hope we never stop adventuring and forming beautiful memories of our lives shared together. I look forward to feeling your pains and your joys, for they are my pains and joys. I’m thankful that my interpretation of this life and consciousness can be reflected off and shared with your experience. I hope to forever laugh at your incredible wit and respect you for your strength and courage whilst admiring the giant heart and goodwill that lies within you. You are absolutely beautiful.

Thank you for being my comfort and warmth and source of nourishment for the soul. I want to wake up and complain about all my sore body parts to you in our king-sized bed when I’m old and grey, next to our horde of dogs no less.

73

EMMA + OLIVER

CEREMONY Ruby Montana’s Coral Sands Inn, Palm Springs CA RECEPTION Le Vallauris Restaurant, Palm Springs CA GOWN For Love & Lemons (ceremony), ASOS (reception) SHOES Zomp GROOM’S SUITS Jack London HAIR + MAKEUP Chelsea Nicole Makeup and Hair RINGS Meadowlark Jewellery FLORALS My Little Flower Shop CAKE Ruby Montana (gift) TRANSPORT Legends Car Rentals REGISTRY MyRegistry.com CELEBRANT Palm Springs Wedding Officiant

SEE THE FULL WEDDING ONLINE

WHTE.CO/ W652 EXCLUSIVE CONTENT

75

EMMA + OLIVER

BIANCA + JOSH A U S T R A L I A

“I PROMISE TO LOVE YOU FOR ALL THAT YOU ARE, ALL THAT YOU HAVE BEEN, AND ALL YOU’RE YET TO BE.”

PHOTOGRAPHY Finch & Oak Wedding Co.

77

BIANCA + JOSH

DEAR BIANCA Thank you for everything you are, and thank you for being my wife. We have the rest of our lives ahead of us and I look forward to the memories we are going to make. Thank you for supporting me, for encouraging me and challenging me. I promise to stand by you, hand in hand, in every stage of life. I promise to explore the world with you, build a strong marriage with you, and always be your best friend and husband. I will always love you.

79

BIANCA + JOSH

DEAR JOSH Our wedding day was the best day of my life to date. But even though our wedding day is over, our life together has just begun. I didn’t think it was possible to love you more, and be happier than what we were before we got married, but somehow there is more love and happiness in our lives together since that day.

I’m looking forward to all of the adventures that will come our way; to exploring the world with you and experiencing all that life has to offer.

Our wedding day was amazing, but I want our marriage to be about the life that happens after the wedding day. I will always love you.

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BIANCA + JOSH

CEREMONY + RECEPTION Byronviewfarm, Byron Bay NSW GOWN + BRIDESMAIDS’ DRESSES Sass & Bide SHOES Tony Bianco GROOM’S SUIT Studio Italia—Stuart Suit Specialist HAIR Tom Law MAKEUP Alex Ouston Beauty BEAUTY (FACIALS) Brooklyn Beauty Bar JEWELLERY Mimco RINGS Hardy Brothers PLANNING Byron Bay Weddings STATIONERY Tessa Goot Graphic Design FLORALS The French Petal CAKE French cheese wheels from Le Fromage Yard CATERING + DRINKS Fig Tree Restaurant ENTERTAINMENT Jake & Andy acoustic duo HIRE + SETUP The Wedding Shed TRANSPORT Mercedes-Benz, Byron Bay Double Deckers CELEBRANT Skai Daly—Skai Ceremonies

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ROZZY + JONNY A U S T R A L I A

“I PROMISE TO CHERISH YOU FOR THE TREASURE YOU ARE TO MY WORLD.” PHOT OG R APHY Be n A da m s

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R ozzy + J onny

DEAR JONNY When you start a journey with nothing

that every day we love Jesus more, love

but a promise—to stand here beside you

each other more and love others more. I

seven years later is like a dream within a

hope that our marriage is evidence that

dream. You are the best friend I’ve always

promises are for life and non-negotiable

wanted and now we get to adventure

because working through the junk in our

this life together. I hope we never lose our

lives is so worth the treasures when we

child-like love for the world, seeing it for all

haven’t given up in the process. I hope

its possibilities. I hope we love generously

when we are 90 we are still bike riding

and give willingly to each other and others.

under the stars thankful for every mountain

I hope our home is always home to others

of life we climbed hand in hand! Love you

and filled with joy and grace. My prayer is

to the moon and back.

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R ozzy + J onny

DEAR ROZZY Wow! Day one of the greatest adventure of our lives! Mountains to climb, valleys to navigate, rivers to cross, and there’s no greater partner in crime than you to have beside me. I’ve always been just a “big kid at heart” and I’m so blessed that God picked out the most perfect “big kid at heart” to join me!

I can’t wait to adventure with you through all of life’s highs and lows, growing deeper and deeper in love, humility and understanding as we conquer every new hurdle and receive every new blessing. Your wild, dreaming heart entwines perfectly with mine and I can’t wait as we hold on tight and chase the dreams placed in our hearts. I love you forever!

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R ozzy + J onny

CEREMONY St Philip’s Anglican Church, Waratah NSW RECEPTION Woodville School of Arts Community Hall, NSW GOWN HANNAH LOUISE SHOES Irregular Choice GROOM’S OUTFIT Roger David, yd, ASOS, Red Herring, FlipMyT ie, TW Steel, eBay BRIDESMAIDS’ OUTFITS Second-hand GROOMSMEN’S OUTFITS Connor, Roger David, Fletcher Lane, Sportscraft, American Apparel HAIR Callie at Sublime Hair Design MAKEUP Allira Stallard—Refresh Skin Beauty Body JEWELLERY Lovisa, Orcwood (brooches) RINGS Sophie Divett Jewellery (bride), Ash Hilton Jewellery (groom) VIDEOGRAPHY Brodi Bathgate STATIONERY Kim Douglas Design FLORALS Lee Rogers CAKE Carol Hall HIRE + SETUP Whimsicalfox Event Hire, Beavis Party & Event Hire CAROUSEL Amusement Hire Services

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R ozzy + J onny

EBONY + DAMIAN N E W

Z E A L A N D

“WHEN YOU MARRY YOUR BEST FRIEND, LIFE JUST BECOMES ALL THE MORE PERFECT.” PHOTOGRAPHY Heart and Colour

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EBONY + DAMIAN

DEAR EBONY All I want for us is to be happy—I don’t really care about too much else. When you’re happy and enjoying life, everything else takes care of itself. We are so lucky we found each other— Ebony complements me in everything I do even if she doesn’t say so, and I feel that I do the same for her. I just want to travel anywhere and everywhere with Ebony and then can’t wait to do it all again with a family of our own.

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EBONY + DAMIAN

DEAR DAMIAN From the very beginning of our relationship we both knew that this was the person we would spend our life with. We have always told one another how important it is to show each other unconditional love, and to be honest. We’ve loved spending all day, every day together and how happy we’ve made each other, and this hasn’t changed yet (five years later), so when you marry your best friend, life just becomes all the more perfect. Damian is the most important person in my life and to have a family and a cute house in the countryside is all I need to be happy!

CEREMONY Lake Wanaka, New Zealand RECEPTION + CATERING + DRINKS Catalina Noosa GOWN + JEWELLERY Grace Loves Lace GROOM’S SUIT Country Road HAIR + MAKEUP Road To Beauty BEAUTY (FACIALS) Esteem Medi Spa RINGS CTJ Jewellery PLANNING The Elopement Collective VIDEOGRAPHY Joseph W illis FLORALS CRIMSON–Wedding Flowers by Tracey Morrow ENTERTAINMENT Jad & The Ladyboy CELEBRANT Josh W ithers Marriage Celebrant

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E BT O N TY + D A M I A N EXCLUSIVE CON EN

AMY + LEIGH A U S T R A L I A

“I FOUND THE ONE I DIDN’T WANT TO EVER LET GO OF, AND NOW I NEVER HAVE TO.” PHOTOGRAPHY The Robertsons

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amy + leigh

DEAR LEIGH I’m sure most people say this, but how

and I know I’m not great at saying sorry,

did I get so lucky? I was always such an

but I know that if we keep working at it with

independent person with high, guarded

God in the centre of our lives, our marriage

walls … until I met you. From the start you

will be the greatest friendship and our love

have been the man I knew I could trust,

will grow even stronger. I promise to stand

who cared for me the most, and delicately

by you, listen to you, and strengthen you

and slowly unfolded me with your patience,

in the best way I can. You bring such joy

forgiveness and love. You uphold and

and excitement to my life, and I can’t wait

comfort me, and strengthen all the parts of

to explore the mountains and valleys of

me that are weak. We complement each

the world and our daily lives together even

other so well, and work as such a team.

more. I know life will never be dull because

Sure it’s not always fun; some days are hard

I have you—you’re my happily ever after!

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DEAR AMY Even though you don’t think you are, you’re so beautiful and bright! Together I hope that all the things we think we aren’t good at or won’t amount to are actually the very things we become most confident in. I believe that as we go through time, any weakness we have will be ironed out by our devotion and unconditional love for one another. I trust that with you any dreams we have can be accomplished and that achieving these would actually be a thrilling adventure! As we continue in never giving up on each other and go totally over the top in encouragement and compliments (which I could go on about all day—you are exceptional in so many ways!). You were my first girlfriend and I can’t believe I got it right on the first try!

I found the one I didn’t want to ever let go of and now I never have to. I know through life people change but I am sure that as you change you will only grow into a more elegant, wise and loving dream woman, only taking on things that better you and leaving behind anything that hurts or slows you down. You are going to make a difference in this world, not just in mine where you have brought the sunshine.

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CEREMONY The Pines Forest Park, Olney State Forest NSW RECEPTION Hunter Design School, Newcastle NSW GOWN Handmade

by Elyssa Colthorpe SHOES Hobes GROOM’S OUTFIT Country Road (shirt), DC Shoes—Trade Secret (pants) BRIDESMAIDS’ OUTFITS Alannah Hill (skirt), tops from various stores GROOMSMEN’S OUTFITS Country Road (shirt), David Jones (pants) HAIR Sarah Southall—SAGE Hair MAKEUP Makeup by Bonnie Lee BEAUTY (FACIALS) Pure Beauty Newcastle RINGS W illiams The Jewellers STATIONERY AdorePaperCo (Etsy) FLORALS Two W ild Hands CAKE Hello Naomi CATERING + DRINKS Paella Casa Catering ENTERTAINMENT Sarah Potts HIRE + SETUP The Wedding Designer CELEBRANT Stu Brown

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amy + leigh

CJ + ANDRIA U S A

+

M E X I C O

“YOUR PRESENCE IN MY LIFE HAS FULFILLED THE DEEPEST DESIRES OF MY HEART.” PHOTOGRAPHY Logan Cole

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ANDRIA + CJ

DEAR ANDRIA This marriage of ours will be our own

chorus/hook, being the pillar and home of

beautifully extended song. This song is full

our marriage. That hook can bring us back

of all of our hopes and dreams, which will

to another verse, but at times, will lead us

be deeply rooted in our constant prayers to

into a great bridge. When the bridge comes

God and devotion for each other. Our songs

in it may sometimes do so out of left field,

numerous verses are composed from all of

but the result will introduce us to a freshness

our daily interactions, collaborations and

of new additions joining our world! Flowing

variables that life brings our way. There will

seamlessly back to that wonderful chorus,

be many verses that change in mood from

which always keeps us grounded in the joyous

week to week, month to month or year to

and melodic sounds of the love and grace

year. But always flowing into this harmonious

we choose to give to each other every day.

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ANDRIA + CJ

DEAR CJ The future—something I’ve always been able to envision with you. No matter where we have been at, you’ve always given me the security to allow my heart to look towards the future. As much as I cherish the today, and our current state, it has always been one of my prized possessions that the future is something that we talk about and dream towards. We’ve never shied away from imagining stories of what that will hold for us. The birth of our first child, watching our children grow, milestones, personal achievements, moving through new stages of life together—all the seasons we will go through … my heart longs for those just as much as it does to see you walk through the door at the end of the day. And I know that the future will also bring the unknown, but it’s my hope that we will be mindful to never become too engrossed in the emotions of one single day, but remain in the promise of our future together and the freshness that we’re given in every new day. You are synonymous with the hopes of my future. The two cannot be separated. I want you for all the grand moments, but I want you even more for all the simple moments.

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ANDRIA + CJ

CEREMONY + RECEPTION (PALM SPRINGS) Charles Farrell Estate CEREMONY + RECEPTION (MEXICO) Casa Sisal—Hacienda Sac Chich GOWN Carol Hannah SHOES + JEWELLERY Nordstrom GROOM’S SUIT Topman GROOMSMEN’S SUITS JackThreads BOW TIES April Look MAKEUP Gaylinyet RINGS Michael Brown Jewellers (Andria), MinimalVS—Etsy (CJ) PLANNING (MEXICO) Joe Bolaños Wedding and Event Planning VIDEOGRAPHY Austin Steck—Branch & Cole STATIONERY Bride, Fin and Feather Art FLORALS Siren Floral Co. (grass circle) CATERING + DRINKS (PALM SPRINGS) Dante Fried Chicken CATERING + DRINKS (MEXICO) VOILÁ HIRE Planks and Patina

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ANDRIA + CJ

BUSINESS FE ATURE

PEEP DESIGNS A MELTING POT OF CREATIVITY + DESIGN.

Peep Designs has a sincere passion for crafting

on trend with what people love. I create the

and once they have picked their perfect design

unique and eye-catching pieces using screen-

wedding suites from dreams to reality.

and sign off, production begins. Depending

printing and digital printing. Their flair for design, and daring nature for trying new techniques means that they are equipped to cater to any couple’s style. Read on to find out more about

What services do you provide? We provide design, digital and screen-printing services. We create designs from what a client dreams into

on the individual needs of the client, the production process could include digital printing, screen-printing, or a mix of both.

reality. We provide digital printing services with

What will customers come away with

both laser and ink jet printing. With screen-

after working with you? As we like to involve

What inspired you to start your business?

printing, we dare to print onto materials that

our couples in the entire design process, our

I was inspired by the love that people have for

others would not dare touch, such as glass,

customers come away inspired and full of a sense

creative products. Being able to put together

perspex, fabric, wood and even marble.

of accomplishment. And of course, a stunning,

their artistry.

something that would put a smile on other people’s faces was what inspired me to open

What makes you different to others in

unique, and high-quality finished product!

the industry? We are adventurous and dare

What are your future plans for Peep

to try things that others are deterred by. We

Designs? I see Peep Designs becoming a

are interested in developing new techniques

creative hub for many other talented artists out

to create unique and stunning products, and

there to join, partner and grow together under

Who does your team consist of?

happily print on a wide variety of materials. We

one huge umbrella in the wedding and events

Elyse: Loves squeegees and printing all things

strive to make people’s dreams a reality.

sector. I can see Peep Designs being part of

the business. Here at Peep Designs, we dare to dream, strive to create and explore the limits of printing and design.

beautiful. She is our resident screen-printer with six years’ experience in the screenprinting industry. She has a keen eye for detail and takes great pride in what she does.

Tiana: She is the whiz-kid; the beauty and the brains. Fuelled by the power of coffee and a sneaky Tim Tam (or 10), she keeps us on our toes and organised. She is a people lover and hence takes care of our darling customers. Not to mention she is a website guru and loves a good spreadsheet.

What do you love about working with couples? The best part is that we have the privilege of hearing their heart for the big day.

We get to be excited and dream with them on creating their perfect wedding.

something bigger than itself. It’ll be more than just creating stationery for a beautiful event— it’ll be doing so with a cause which would inspire clients and bring change to the people around us.

How do you go about coordinating wedding stationery? Once a couple contacts us, we discuss with them what their dream wedding suite would look like. We encourage clients to provide visual examples of things they adore so that we can best meet their

Me (Rachel): The weird one, the dreamer.

needs. We then provide digital design mock-

info@peepdesigns.com

In charge of all things creative. Constantly

ups of each item for the couple to choose from

peepdesigns.com

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business feature

Photography by Joseph Chua

SELFLESS LOVE

A HAPPY MARRIAGE IS FUELLED BY THE SMALL THINGS. Words: Darren Chapman | Photography: Alex Ry

Y

our big day! Styled to perfection. You both looked amazing starting your life together. It was going to be

perfect. Every day simply perfect. I mean, of course, every couple has their rough patches when days at work are long and you’re not seeing enough of each other, but all in all it would be the perfect life together. Let’s face it, we have such a great relationship. We laugh together, we cry together, we support each other.

And I’m sure the same goes for your relationship. He brings you flowers on occasion, you send him texts to say you can’t wait to see him later, he knows exactly what kind of takeaway you like, you’re affectionate, he’s a great supporter of your career, you make an effort with his mum … what could possibly dampen all that?

When Beck and I first got together, we would always be thinking of the other person. I would be waiting for her on the verandah when I got home from work just because I wanted to hang out. I’d bring her Caramello Koalas, not just because they were cheap and I didn’t have much money, but because I knew they were her favourite thing. I’d write her poems (bit of a romantic), and Beck would make an effort to be affectionate, even spontaneous! We’d stay up through to the early hours of the morning because we just wanted to be together, to talk, to dream.

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The perfect day was planned and we were married on a very stormy day in May 1998. They say rain is bad luck but we didn’t care. We knew we were crazy about each other and committed to each other no matter what.

Life was smooth, it was happy, we had such fun setting up house together. We even had some sweet lovebirds in a cage (the feathered variety) perched on our shag pile carpet in our very own happily married love nest. Beck would catch the train to work around 8am and arrive home sometime after 6pm. Fancying herself as the next Donna Hay, she would cook a big meal, bake dessert (because that’s what a selfless wife does, right?) and when the clean-up was done would fall in a heap and wake up the next day to do it all again. Oh, the life—what bliss! Seriously?! What utter exhaustion!

~ “WE HAVE THIS CRAZY NOTION THAT SELFLESSLY LOVING EACH OTHER CREATES A CULTURE OF GENEROSITY IN OUR MARRIAGE.”

~ “A SELFLESS, HAPPY AND SUSTAINABLE MARRIAGE HAPPENS 24/7, NOT 1/365.”

For the record, I never asked for this (or the 10kgs I gained in that first year of marriage). I was literally eating it up but that didn’t mean I was feeling truly loved by it. We laugh about it now but knowing how your partner receives love saves a LOT of wasted time and energy! In reality, I’d have been happy with an easy bowl of pasta and the other three hours of quality time spent with my bride. Real life was busy.

Juggling work, family and other commitments started to take its toll and suddenly we found ourselves in a stalemate of frustration. We’d failed to really know how each other really received love and, until we learned that, what we felt were selfless acts were nothing more than quick trips to frustration.

Dr. Gary Chapman in his book The Five Love Languages reveals the five basic ways that people give and receive love.

We’ve learned that knowing each other’s love language is as important as knowing what fuel goes in our car. When I understood Beck’s love language (what makes her feel loved) I saved a whole lot of hurt, frustration and even time and money (seriously people, it’s way more efficient). Slaving away creating fancy dinners was to Beck showing me a lot of love. For me it was really just essential for living, and while appreciated, I would have much rather spent the night hanging out and snuggling on the lounge. Half an hour of what I actually needed (rather than three hours in the kitchen) would have made me feel so much more loved and valued.

In hindsight, what Beck felt was selfless was, she admits herself, in some respects selfish. She felt good about “doing the right wifely things” which was about her rather than selflessly loving her husband in ways I felt loved.

“Selfless” couldn’t be more real and difficult than choosing to love when you don’t feel like it. Years ago I worked in an office up in the backyard separate to our house. Our three

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boys were all under four years old and Beck’s days at home

them and not me and it’s all because of love. Love is

were manic. It took me a while to realise it but eventually

generous, creates surprises, is meaningful and creative.

it dawned on me that when I came home it wasn’t time to

“A happy marriage is a selfless journey in which the

rediscover my man cave.

happiness of another person is essential to your own.”

It was time to engage, with the kids, housework and

—George and Yvonne Levy.

whatever craziness was going down at the time. Did I suddenly

It’s not about giant (unsustainable) acts. It’s about a life of

feel like doing it? No. Not at all. I’d have been much happier

generosity towards the other. “How can I love her today?”

relaxing and watching TV, but choosing to be selfless at

is what I try and ask myself. It’s about the little things, like

crazy hour has saved many, many arguments … and scored

taking 90 seconds to make the bed before she finishes in

many points!

the shower. It’s making another cup of coffee even though I

We have this crazy notion that selflessly loving each other creates a culture of generosity in our marriage. That keeps it fresh, alive and fun. Suddenly the frustrations (and many, many conversations) that came from our stalemate became

don’t want to clean the milk frother twice. It’s about the little thoughtful gestures, not about the grand scale events. Don’t get me wrong, these are great, but a selfless, happy and sustainable marriage happens 24/7, not 1/365.

our path to a marriage we love to be in. But what does

So I encourage you to add a bit more selflessness to your

selflessness actually look like in marriage? We discovered

relationship. You’ll find whole new levels of joy with each

a few things: it’s over and above the call of duty, it’s about

other and hopefully you’ll skip the stalemate entirely!

Photo by Evernew Studios

Marvel at the views, savour the decadent cuisine and experience your perfect day.

Weddings at Tiffany’s is exclusively yours on your wedding day.

info@weddingsattiffanys.com.au

409 Mountain View Road

weddingsattiffanys.com.au

Maleny, Queensland 4552

07 5494 2825

Australia

MY LOVER, MY FRIEND

“WE HAVE WOVEN A WEB, YOU AND I, ATTACHED TO THIS WORLD BUT A SEPARATE WORLD OF OUR OWN INVENTION.”—JOHN KEATS Words: Cate Stephens | Photography: Samm Blake

T

here is one place that to me is home. It is where I am safe, where I am loved. There are jokes and cuddles,

romance, dead pot plants and the incredibly mundane. It is the place that knows the real me, the place where I can entirely be myself. Where my family laugh and cry at times, we support each other and bring each other back to earth.

That home was formed when I married my best friend.

I can honestly say that my love story began with a friendship.

My husband and I were both fresh out of school in our first jobs, and we found ourselves stacking dinner sets in a department store together. We became fast friends—we talked about everything, worked every shift together for two years, and moped whenever we were placed apart.

After working together closely for two years, I had a friend casually slip into the conversation that our friendship may have had something underneath that. Something that explained the pining, the hours spent talking of everything and nothing, the way we would jealously guard our time together. For that matter, the way he cared for me when I injured my ankle at work, and accompanied me to the hospital and held me in his arms in a way that Workplace Health and Safety did not quite require …

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As you can imagine, I found that the line between friendship and love is quite a blurry one. At some point one crossed over into the other, and I honestly don’t know when that happened for us. Lunches together that transitioned into dates, squabbles and shared jokes that prompted many to raise their eyebrows at us speculatively. And eventually, after many twists and turns, we had a shared understanding that together was the only place we belonged. We transitioned very naturally from workmates, to boyfriend and girlfriend,

~ “THE CORE OF THE FRIENDSHIP, OF THE LOVE WE HAVE IS THE FACT THAT WE ARE TO BE EACH OTHER’S KEEPER—TO HAVE AND TO HOLD.”

to husband and wife at the beginning of 1998. We were 21, endlessly optimistic and possibly a little naive!

Counting 19 years, three children and a dog later; and I am still married to my best friend. We have been together now for half of our lives. We have grown together, and in many ways have grown up together too. Family responsibilities, work and career changes, loss of parents and nervous breakdowns each changed us, and gave us the chance to become closer. We also had opportunities to grow apart, countless misunderstandings and lots of tears—underneath this however, has been the friendship we started out with.

jokes and two people who relentlessly keep coming back together again. Sometimes it’s hard—sometimes the words “I love you” are spoken with gritted teeth, and sometimes we hurt each other. The friendship between us makes us keep coming back together in the harder seasons—it makes

Friendship grows with common experiences—with shared

us laugh when things become tense, and helps us to work

laughter, and shared battles. With ridiculous stories, personal

together to raise our family.

I have found that friendship of any kind involves choice.

My husband is the love of my life; however, it remains my choice to place him in the role of best friend—to have him be the only one I open up to completely. It is a choice to keep granting access to the innermost parts of my heart—the broken, messy, and intensely vulnerable sides of myself. To trust myself to him, when I am afraid of ridicule, scorn or pain. It’s a choice to keep talking about dreams, to let him reside in my heart. It is also my choice to be his friend—to use encouragement, to love unconditionally; to make sure I can be the person he turns to when he is hurting. If I demand perfection or performance I cannot be that safe place.

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I want to be the one who is in the core of his heart, and so I

to laugh together, to talk about the things that we find

must prove myself trustworthy with the raw places in there.

interesting, and to tease each other as mercilessly as we do.

The core of the friendship, of the love we have is the fact that we are to be each other’s keeper—to have and to hold.

We have always been terrible at making date nights, however we have found that togetherness can blossom anywhere:

In the back of my mind has always been the fact that one

car trips, meal times, grocery shopping. Boring our children

day our children will leave home, one day it will be just us

when we insist on a 1980s music marathon. Talking about

again. Our relationship needs to stand the test of time, and

and valuing our history, comparing our different perspectives.

even in turbulent seasons we need to stay close. We need friendship; we need to know each other through all the changes our family goes through. We need to remember why we fell in love; remember why we love to be together. As life goes on, we need both passion and friendship—both sides of our marriage need to be cultivated and nurtured.

When I first imagined what love looked like, I imagined heartstopping, constant nerves and swooning. To find myself falling in love with the guy who made me feel safe, who laughed with me, argued with me, taught me to drive and arm-wrestled me was such a surprise—to have my beloved be my best friend.

There is no-one else on the planet I could spend every day with,

It’s a choice to search for fun: through budgets, thousands

and not grow tired of their company—no-one else I can picture

of meals, the washing and school reports—it’s a privilege

growing old with. He is home for me, and always will be.

T HE R E L AT IONSHIP TA L K TAKE SOME TIME TO REFLECT ON THE JOYS OF YOUR MARITAL ADVENTURE. Photography: Woodnote Photography

1

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP?

2

3

WHAT BRINGS YOU JOY IN YOUR LIFE?

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY DOING TOGETHER AS A COUPLE?

4

5

WHAT DIFFERENCES DO WE LOVE ABOUT EACH OTHER?

WHAT IS THE FUNNIEST MEMORY THAT WE SHARE?

6

HOW CAN WE HAVE MORE FUN IN OUR LIVES?

7

8

WHAT IS YOUR HAPPIEST MEMORY OF US?

HOW DO WE KEEP OUR RELATIONSHIP JOYFUL?

9

WHAT THINGS DO I DO THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY?

10 HOW CAN WE BE MORE SELFLESS IN OUR MARRIAGE?

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11

12

WHAT IS YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE?

HOW CAN WE BE PROACTIVE IN MAKING EACH OTHER HAPPY?

the relationship talk

BE AUT Y IN DIFFERENCE

IS THERE STRENGTH IN SIMILARITY, OR DURABILITY IN DIFFERENCE? RICHARD MILLER TAKES OFF HIS SHOES, FOLDS HIS SOCKS NEATLY, AND WADES INTO THE MURKY DEPTHS OF THE DEBATE. Words: Richard Miller | Photography: Amber Gress

“N

ow I know what I’ve been looking for, all these years … myself! I’ve been waiting for me to come

along and now I’ve swept myself off my feet.”

So says the mullet-bearing, sneaker-wearing Jerry Seinfeld on his hit nineties sitcom when he meets the love of his shallow, Superman-obsessed life. (If you’re not a Seinfeld fan, two things: one, you need to reassess that situation, and two: bear with me, I will make an actual point soon.)

For a character as self-absorbed as Jerry’s it was only a matter of time before he found his perfect soulmate—a reflection of himself—and proposed to her. But what about the rest of us? Those of us looking for our one-for-a-lifetime partner in places other than the mirror, I mean.

Yes, it’s that age-old question: do opposites attract? Or are we all looking for someone just like ourselves to share our lives with? A recent study showed that while we say we’re looking for people who “complement” us, we’re really looking for people who remind us of … us. That’s right—it’s possible that we’re all so narcissistic that we’re instinctively attracted

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to a partner who is like us in terms of appearance, education, social standing, religion and other areas. Then again, there’s evidence to support another school of thought that says we’re attracted to people unlike ourselves because at a biological level we’re trying to avoid inbreeding—yep, I just said “inbreeding” in a classy marriage magazine. Twice. Sorry about that.

So, which is right? Well, maybe it’s time I stopped Googling dubious “studies” to make my horribly unclear point and instead spoke from my experience. And my experience says: both are right.

From the first few conversations I ever had with the girl who eventually became my wife, I knew she was very different to me. For one thing, she loved social situations and seemed to really thrive when there were lots of other people around.

Even now, I love how much time she has for other people— whether they’re her friends or not.

Speaking as someone who starts checking the exits as soon as the crowd grows beyond two or three people (or one, if it’s somebody I don’t know), I really admire her ability to meet people easily and genuinely. It’s a skill I don’t have. Usually I laugh too loudly at something that’s not that funny or launch

~ “WHETHER YOU’RE SO SIMILAR YOU’RE ALMOST TELEPATHICALLY CONNECTED OR SO DIFFERENT YOU’RE SPEAKING DIFFERENT LANGUAGES, THE FACT IS, YOU LOVE EACH OTHER.”

into an elaborate anecdote even as people stare with dead eyes at their watches or throw their drinks on the ground so they can go and get a refill.

For another thing, she didn’t care about sports at all. I know. Weird. For another, she has what I will generously call a casual relationship with money. As in, when you have money, you spend it until you don’t have any left, and then you go and earn some more. Whereas my preferred moneymanagement technique involves stuffing it into mattresses to avoid bank fees and NEVER SPENDING ANY OF IT without substantial, almost physical, pain. (This particular point led to many “robust” conversations and a couple of toaster-shaped dents in the walls when we were considering a mortgage after a few years of marriage. Not our finest hours. We ate our bread cold—or room-temperature at best—for weeks.)

Here’s the point: those same first conversations also told me that the deeper things I care about—the importance of

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family and faith, the purpose we have in life, the way we

primal pleasure she seems to get from watching NASCAR

treat each other and our environment—are things she cares

on TV. But it should make you happy to see her so happy

deeply about, too. And I suspect that most couples find their

sprawled on the lounge, wearing her Stewart-Haas Racing

own similarities and differences over time. The real trick is

hat and spitting nachos at the screen as she screams “Drive!

figuring out how to make them all work in your favour.

DRIVE! ROLL ON!” (Maybe just keep the kids in another

Bond over your similarities. If you both love rocky road icecream and George Clooney, then make your “Clooniversary”

room at race-time until they’re old enough to understand that Mummy gets a bit intense when the green flag waves.)

a regular thing. If you love nothing more than waving your

Because, whether you’re so similar you’re almost

rock-n-roll-devil-horn hands in the air and WOO!-ing at a

telepathically connected or so different you’re speaking

Nickelback gig … well, great! (Make sure you go to the gig

different languages, the fact is, you love each other. You’re

together, Nickelback fans, because there’s safety in numbers.

married—or soon-to-be—and that makes you a team. Your

You wouldn’t want to get isolated by a pack of hipsters

differences don’t divide you—they double your strengths, if

wearing beanies knitted from single-origin Justin Vernon hair

you let them. And that makes for a stronger, deeper relationship.

and in the ensuing sarcasm somehow lose your will to ROCK.) If you’re both future CEOs, spur each other on as you climb that corporate ladder and dream of success; if you’d rather hit the beach than work a 60-hour week, then do it together.

I’m not saying you should live in each other’s pockets, but shared interests and activities will bring you closer together.

Intentionally celebrate your differences. Bonding in your mutual love of all-day breakfast as nature’s ultimate meal is important. So is the time you take to appreciate his ability to squeeze every dollar coin until it bleeds. You mightn’t understand your other half’s passion for wandering through the Blue Mountains in the freezing cold, or the weird, almost

It’s worth noting that even Jerry found out on Seinfeld that loving someone exactly like yourself can be difficult.

“All of a sudden it hit me,” he exclaims toward the end of the episode. “I realised what the problem is. I can’t be with someone like me—I hate myself! If anything I need to [find someone] the exact opposite of me!” And so the debate rages on.

STILL THE ONE I LOVE

BERYL + RHYS: A BOND OF ADMIRATION Photography: Nick Sim Photography

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still the one I love

J

ust like any ordinary Friday night, Rhys donned his smart attire, boarded the local tram, riding it down

to Tyrell Hall in Newcastle to enjoy all the fun and frivolity of the town social. “It was when you used to dance with one person. That’s when dancing was dancing,” jokes Rhys.

But this one evening, when Rhys donned his dapper attire, boarded the local tram, and rode it all the way down to Tyrell

~ “JUST RESPECT ONE ANOTHER. THAT’S ALL IT TAKES TO BE TOGETHER, IS RESPECT.”

Hall to attend the social, little did he know that the next woman he would ask to dance would later become his wife.

“A friend of mine and myself went to the dance every week, and Beryl and her friend went from the hospital. They were

beautiful partner in tow, ready to take her to a sweet, low-

nursing in Newcastle hospital, the Royal Newcastle,” explains

key dinner at Joe’s Hamburgers—the starting point for a

Rhys. “I went and asked Beryl for a dance. We both went

relationship that would span more than 50 years.

over, and my friend asked her friend Zoe and I asked Beryl.

So that’s where we met.”

But the early days of their relationship had to endure a little bit of distance. Beryl moved to Bexley in Sydney for work,

After they swayed on the dance floor under the fluorescent

but this didn’t deter Rhys from his regular visits. “I was nursing,

lights, Rhys again boarded the local tram, this time with a

and we actually dated through another couple,” explains Beryl.

out and have tea together. We might go to Wests Leagues Club or places like that,” shares Beryl and Rhys. And each one of these anniversaries is a triumph in weathering the ups and downs, the highs and lows of what a long-standing “I used to go down and visit her every weekend, before

relationship involves.

we got married. We used to go to the town, and go to the

They have come to admire and respect so much about one

pictures. She was there about a year or two before we got

another over the years, but there are certain characteristics

married,” adds Rhys.

they’ve grown fond of most. “I love her stability,” shares

Almost 100 weekends of four-hour return trips, and the pair

Rhys. “She’s remained the same sort ever since I’ve known

finally became husband and wife. “We were married in Brown

her. And she’s always been a worker … over at the Darrel

Street Congregational Church—I always went to this one,

Lea shop, and a hard worker at the hospital when she was

and Beryl used to go to The Church of England. It was a

nursing. She’s always been a stable person.” And for Beryl:

family wedding—a fairly big wedding,” says Rhys. “We got

“He never rouses. He never goes crook. He never whinges,

married at the church, and we were taken out of the church

and never wusses.” And if you are wondering what their

and onto Hunter Street to take photos,” adds Beryl. Every

secret is to reaching a string of marital milestones, it is simply,

year since has brought Beryl and Rhys closer, and to this day

“Just respect one another. That’s all it takes to be together,

they still celebrate their marriage. “On our anniversary, we go

is respect.”

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ANNIE EVERINGHAM

ASHLEA MCFARLANE

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market place

BLOOMS ON DARBY

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