Eight Years

Eight Years David Jourdan, ed.

Westphalie Verlag Wien

Westphalie Verlag Wien 2014 Printed in Hungary Druck- und Bindearbeiten: Pauker, Budapest Mit freundlicher Unterstützung des Bundesministeriums für Unterricht, Kunst und Kultur, Österreich www.westphalie.com

Comment s’étaient-ils rencontrés ? Par hasard, comme tout le monde. Comment s’appelaient-ils ? Que vous importe ? D’où venaient-ils ? Du lieu le plus prochain. Où allaient-ils ? Est-ce que l’on sait où l’on va ? Que disaient-ils ? Le maître ne disait rien ; et Jacques disait que son capitaine disait que tout ce qui nous arrive de bien et de mal ici-bas était écrit là-haut. « ShmooOOo » Le Maître. — C’est un grand mot que cela.

Jacques. — Mon capitaine ajoutait que chaque balle qui partait d’un fusil avait son billet.

Le Maître. — Et il avait raison…

Après une courte pause, Jacques s’écria : « Que le diable emporte cet étrange murmure !

Le Maître. — Pourquoi donner au diable ?

Jacques. — C’est que, tandis que je me trouvais sur le chemin me ramenant chez moi, une musique envoûtante se fit entendre à mes oreilles. Fort bien. Je hoche de la tête. Une bien étrange musique, comme jamais il ne m’en avait été donné d’entendre. Certes agréable, mais bien plus encore, je la trouvais fort intrigante. Ni rien ni personne n’aurait su émettre une telle mélopée, c’était alors ma conviction.

Le Maître. — Et qu’en ressentais-tu ?

Jacques. — Assurément je me sentais heureux, étrangement heureux. C’est que cette musique avait sur moi un pouvoir certain. Il ne fut alors question que d’en découvrir l’origine. Et, mon maître, si j’avais su d’avance par je ne sais quelle combine divine, vers quelles aventures je me lançais alors, croyez m’en, je ne m’en serais point effrayé. Mon souhait n’y aurait pas fait un zeste ; ce fut selon qu’il était écrit là-haut…

Le Maître. — J’entends encore les mots de ton capitaine. Te presserais-tu donc un peu ? » S’il marchait parfois d’un bon pas, Jacques ne se hâtait jamais davantage.

Il était, de son propre aveu, bien heureux d’entendre cette étrange musique, mais à aucun moment il n’est dit, ou insinué qu’il en fût étonné, car s’il ne se pressait jamais, Jacques s’étonnait rarement.

Chemin faisant, il rencontra Denise, une des plus belles et des plus honnêtes créatures qu’il y ait à vingt lieues à la ronde. À son approche, Denise rougit. Elle pensait : « Voici que s’amène Jacques. Ah! mon bon Jacques, que ta physionomie est douce. Vas-tu, cher ami, enfin m’embrasser ? Je suis sans défense ! » Denise souriant ouvrit les bras et ferma les yeux dans l’attente de l’étreinte espérée. Sentant passer Jacques, indifférent devant elle, Denise rouvrit les 5

yeux et se mit à pleurer. « ShmooOoOoo » Le Maître. — Trouvas-tu alors la source mélodieuse ?

Jacques. — Ne pressez donc pas mon récit !

Le Maître. — Arriva-t-il alors autre chose en chemin pour retarder ta quête ?

Jacques. — J’y venais. J’en étais à Denise. Elle était là penaude sur le bord du chemin.

Le Maître. — Quelle était la cause de son tracas ?

Jacques. — C’est ce que je lui demandais : « Denise, je crois que vous pleurez, qu’avez-vous ?

Denise. — Je n’ai rien.

Jacques. — Est-ce qu’on vous a fait de la peine ?

Denise. — Oui. Jacques. — Et qui est le méchant qui vous a fait de la peine ?

Denise. — C’est vous.

Jacques. — Moi ?

Denise. — Oui. Jacques. — Et comment cela est-il arrivé ?… » Au lieu de répondre, Denise détourna les yeux et Jacques, l’air ensorcelé, continua son chemin ; c’est qu’il entendait cette musique, cette étrange musique. Il s’éloigna. Denise, elle, n’entendit plus rien d’autre que son cœur qui battait…

Le Maître. — Jacques, vous êtes un barbare ; vous avez un cœur de bronze.

Jacques. — Non, monsieur, non, j’ai de la sensibilité ; mais je la réserve pour une meilleure occasion. Les dissipateurs de cette richesse en ont tant prodigué lorsqu’il fallait en être économe, qu’ils ne se trouvent plus quand il faudrait en être prodigue… Du reste, saviez-vous que Denise était originaire de ——————?

Le Maître. — Non, je n’en savais rien. Est-ce là chose d’importance ?

Jacques. — M’y voilà ; mais un moment, s’il vous plaît. Humectons.

Jacques remplit un grand gobelet de tisane, y versa un peu de vin blanc et l’avala. C’était une recette qu’il tenait de son capitaine et que M. Tissot, qui la tenait de Jacques, recommande dans son traité des maladies populaires. Le vin blanc, disaient Jacques et M. Tissot, fait pisser, est diurétique, corrige la fadeur de la tisane et soutient le ton de l’estomac et des intestins. Son verre de tisane bu, Jacques continua : « Me voilà dans de beaux draps, aussi vrai que le lieu d’où venait Denise s’appelait ——————.

Le Maître. — Qu’y avait-il là-bas de si terrible ?

Jacques. — Le jour de Dame Marguerite.

6

Le Maître. — Qu’est-ce donc que cela ? Le nom est bien charmant !

Jacques. — Le treizième jour de novembre.

Le Maître. — Mais encore ?

Jacques. — Je vois que vous n’êtes pas familier des faits. Laissez-moi le temps, je vous prie, de vous en dire davantage. La demoiselle Marguerite était la fille du premier notable de la ville de —————— . Elle était d’une laideur manifeste et la plus esseulée de toutes les filles des vallons alentours. Marguerite s’en remit à son père : «Père, toutes les autres filles de mon âge sont déjà mariées. Comment se fait-il que je ne le sois pas ? — Prenez patience, ma fille, bientôt le jour viendra où quelqu’un demandera votre main.» Plusieurs années passèrent sans que personne ne se présentât. «Père, si personne ne me marie, vous m’aurez sur les bras pour le restant de vos jours. — Fille, cela ne se fera pas. Je te trouverai un mari dès demain.». Le lendemain était le treizième jour de novembre. Le père rassembla sur la place de —————— tous les célibataires. «Mes enfants, aucun de vous n’a eu assez de cœur pour épouser ma fille. Vous me voyez dans l’embarras et je me dois d’intervenir. Ce jour est celui de Marguerite. Au premier coup de feu, chacun d’entre vous se mettra à courir.

Quand je ferai feu une seconde fois viendra à votre suite Demoiselle Marguerite. Celui d’entre vous que ma fille rattrapera se fera un honneur de la marier.»

Il fit feu. Eh bien, Marguerite se saisit de l’un des garçons, et ils furent mariés sur-le-champ. Les filles de —————— qui n’avaient pas encore trouvé de mari insistèrent pour que le jour de Dame Marguerite devînt une affaire annuelle.

Le Maître. — C’est une charmante histoire.

Jacques. — J’en suis moins sûr que vous. C’est que le jour de Dame Marguerite approche…

Le Maître. — Peut-être trouverez-vous le temps de terminer votre histoire ? » « ShmOooOOoOooOOoooo » Lors de sa progression, Jacques s’amusait de constater que plus il se rapprochait de l’endroit d’où lui semblait provenir la musique, plus elle lui semblait proche. « Je m’approche », pensait-il. Arrivé sur un sommet, il aperçut une grande fille faite au tour. Bien qu’intimidé, Jacques s’approcha d’elle pour lui demander ce qu’elle faisait par ici.

Le Maître. — Ah ! Malheureux ! Ah ! Coquin… Infâme, je te vois arriver.

Jacques. — Mon maître, je crois que vous ne voyez rien.

Le Maître. — N’est-ce pas de cette femme que tu vas devenir amoureux ?

Jacques. — Et quand je serais devenu amoureux d’elle, qu’est-ce qu’il y aurait à dire ? Est-ce qu’on est maître de devenir ou de ne pas devenir amoureux ?

Et quand on l’est, est-on maître d’agir comme si on ne l’était pas ? Si cela eût été écrit là-haut, tout ce que vous vous disposez à me dire, je me le serais dit 7

; je me serais souffleté ; je me serais cogné la tête contre le mur ; je me serais arraché les cheveux : il n’en aurait été ni plus ni moins.

Le Maître. — Mais en raisonnant à ta façon, il n’y a point de crime qu’on ne commît sans remords.

Jacques. — Ce que vous m’objectez là m’a plus d’une fois chiffonné la cervelle ; mais avec tout cela, malgré que j’en aie, j’en reviens toujours au mot de mon capitaine : tout ce qui nous arrive de bien et de mal ici-bas est écrit là-haut.

Savez-vous, monsieur, quelque moyen d’effacer cette écriture ? Puis-je n’être pas moi ? Et étant moi, puis-je faire autrement que moi ? Puis-je être moi en un autre ? Et depuis que je suis au monde, y a-t-il eu un seul instant où cela n’ait été vrai ? Prêchez tant qu’il vous plaira, vos raisons seront peut-être bonnes ; mais s’il est écrit en moi ou là-haut que je les trouverai mauvaises, que voulezvous que j’y fasse ?

Vous concevez, lecteur, jusqu’où je pourrais pousser cette conversation sur un sujet dont on a tant parlé, tant écrit depuis deux mille ans, sans en être d’un pas plus avancé. Si vous me savez peu de gré de ce que je vous dis, sachezm’en beaucoup de ce que je ne vous dis pas.

Le Maître. — Laissons cela. Tu te portes bien, et je ne peux te dispenser de reprendre ton histoire.

La grande fille avait de l’aplomb et semblait provocante. C’est même là encore un bien bel euphémisme. Jacques rassembla son courage : « Quel est votre nom ?

— Qu’importe que je vous le dise !

— Et pourquoi cela ?

— Là où vous allez nul besoin sera de le savoir.

— Comment sauriez-vous où je vais quand bien même je ne le sais pas ? Et que donc faîtes-vous d’autre, en ces sommets, que d’intrigants mystères ?

— Je vous ai vu arriver. Sachez qu’il est absolument interdit à quiconque de pénétrer dans la vallée. Je ne vous laisserai pas passer. Cela suffit, retournezvous-en. » Jacques s’arrêta tout court, consulta le destin dans sa tête ; il lui sembla que le destin lui disait : « Retourne sur tes pas. » Il n’en fit rien. Son maître lui dit : « Eh bien ! Jacques, qu’est-ce ?

Jacques. — Ma foi, je n’en sais rien.

Le Maître. — Et pourquoi ?

Jacques. — Je n’en sais davantage. » « ShmoooOOooOoOoooOOooo » Jacques. — Là, j’entends cette musique… Vous entendez ! Là-bas ! Il faut absolument que je sache ce dont il s’agit ! S’il est écrit là-haut, il se fera…Je 8

fis un pas de plus. La grande fille se jeta sur moi d’un bond, portant ses mains à ma gorge ; je ne sus lui opposer résistance, elle me fit perdre l’équilibre. Ma tête vint percuter une grosse pierre et je perdis connaissance…

Le Maître. — C’est qu’il n’y a du danger que pour ceux qui parlent ; et je me tais.

Jacques. — Mon capitaine croyait que la prudence est une supposition dans laquelle l’expérience nous autorise à regarder les circonstances où nous nous trouvons comme cause de certains effets à espérer ou à craindre pour l’avenir.

Le Maître. — Et tu entendais quelque chose à cela ?

Jacques. — Assurément, peu à peu je m’étais fait à sa langue. Mais, disait-il, qui peut se vanter d’avoir assez d’expérience ? Celui qui s’est flatté d’en être le mieux pourvu, n’a-t-il jamais été dupe ? Et puis, y a-t-il un homme capable d’apprécier juste les circonstances où il se trouve ? Le calcul qui se fait dans nos têtes, et celui qui est arrêté sur le registre d’en haut, sont deux calculs bien différents. Est-ce nous qui menons le destin ou bien est-ce le destin qui nous mène ? Combien de projets sagement concertés ont manqué, et combien manqueront ! Combien de projets insensés ont réussi, et combien réussiront ! C’est ce que mon capitaine me répétait, après la prise de Berg-op-Zoom et celle du Port-Mahon ; et il ajoutait que la prudence ne nous assurait point un bon succès, mais qu’elle nous consolait et nous excusait d’un mauvais : aussi dormait-il la veille d’une action sous sa tente comme dans sa garnison et allaitil au feu comme au bal. C’est bien de lui que vous vous seriez écrié : «Quel diable d’homme !…»

La grande fille souleva Jacques inconscient à bout de bras et, au bord d’un précipice, s’élança pour le précipiter directement dans la Vallée : « Parfois un étranger tombe par hasard sur la Vallée des Shmoos. Aucun n’en est revenu, pour raconter ce qu’il y a vu… » Le Maître. — Quelle femme ! Quel diable de femme ! Jacques, ma frayeur redouble. à ce moment, Denise, qui avait suivi discrètement Jacques jusque-là, accourut pour lui porter secours. Trop tard, Jacques fit le grand saut jusqu’au plus profond de la Vallée où il disparut bientôt sous l’épais manteau d’arbres… « Il - il a disparu !!

— Quand ils partent ainsi, petite fille, c’est pour ne jamais revenir. » « ShmooOOoooOooOooOOOoooOo » Denise se remit à pleurer.

Lecteur, si je faisais ici une pause, et que je prenne l’histoire de l’homme à une seule chemise parce qu’il n’avait qu’un corps à la fois, je voudrais bien 9

savoir ce que vous en penseriez ? Que je me suis fourré dans une impasse ou vulgairement dans un cul-de-sac d’où je ne sais comment sortir, et que je me jette dans un conte fait à plaisir, pour gagner du temps et chercher quelque moyen de sortir de celui que j’ai commencé. Eh bien, lecteur, vous vous abusez de tout point. Je sais comment Jacques se tirera de sa détresse. Sain et sauf par miracle, il reprit lentement ses esprits.

Le Maître. — Ah ! mon ami, quelle frayeur tu m’as causée ! Je t’ai tenu pour mort… mais tu rêves ; à quoi rêves-tu ?

Jacques. — à ce que j’ai trouvé là-bas.

Le Maître. — Et qu’y as-tu donc trouvé ? « ShmoOOoooOoOooOOOooooOoOooo » Jacques. — Cette étrange musique ! Je l’entendis à nouveau et me remis en route dans sa direction. Ce fut au tour d’un vieux pâtre—tel qu’on pouvait en déduire au bâton qu’il portait—de me barrer le chemin. Il était d’allure peu commune ; sa barbe était si longue qu’on eût pu croire qu’elle ne fût jamais rasée. Elle lui arrivait aux chevilles et semblait pour ainsi dire être son unique vêtement. Je lui demandai : « Conduisez-moi à la cause de cette étrange musique vieil homme !

— Ne t’embarrasse pas de cela mon ami. écoute, prends mon conseil, entends-le même comme un avertissement : «Fais demi-tour et rentre chez toi.»

— Eh ! non, non, par tous les diables ! non. Je ne ferai plus demi-tour. Je poursuis cette étrange musique et j’ai bien l’intention d’aller voir d’où elle provient.

— Il fallait qu’aujourd’hui, sur ce chemin, tu apparusses et que je n’y pusse rien… Que puis-je y faire maintenant ? Te serais-tu seulement perdu en chemin ? Si seulement tu avais été sourd… si… si… si… et…

— Si, si la mer bouillait, il y aurait, comme on dit, bien des poissons de cuits.

Que diable, monsieur, tout à l’heure j’ai bien cru que je courais un grand danger et rien n’était plus faux ; à présent vous semblez me croire en grand danger, et rien peut-être n’est encore plus faux. Tous, nous avons peur les uns des autres ; ce qui prouve que nous sommes tous des sots… Je vous prie désormais de me dire la raison de ce mystère.

— Je ne saurais te la dissimuler bien longtemps.

— Eh bien ?

— Elle provient des shmoos bien sûr ! En été, les jeunes shmoos sont en proie à la fantaisie la plus singulière et durant tout le jour il leur arrive de chanter.

— Y aurait-il des shmoos en cette vallée perdue !? Ça fait bien longtemps que je n’en ai pas vu… À vrai dire, je n’en ai même jamais vu ! Qu’est-ce donc qu’un shmoo ? » Le Maître. — C’est la réflexion que je me faisais…

10

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Gelitin, « I {heart} GELATIN », bumper sticker, tantamounter of « I {square} JUDD », bumper sticker.

Leo Koenig, New York, 2005. « LARRY FLINT FOR PRESIDENT », bumper sticker. Hustler, Sunset Blvd, Los Angeles, 2004.

I Love It When You Lie To Me, Cranky Media Guy’s Weekly Commentary, http:// www.crankymediaguy.com/ backissues/2000/020900.html A Guide To Basinstoke & Taradiddles, What Gilbert Meant, http://www.umich.edu/~umgass/ shows/ruddigore/meant.html Other Cool Links, http://www. angelfire.com/ca2/artgekko/ page25friends.html Jeff Koons, Amore, 1988.

Andrea Fraser, Report: EA-Generali Foundation, Wien, 1995

Heimo Zobernig, Generali Foundation, 1991. (A4) Heimo Zobernig, Generali Foundation, 1991. (B4) Brian Kennon. Altered Secession catalogs, Christopher Wool (Josh Smith), 2nd Cannons Publications, Los Angeles, 2011.

Brian Kennon. Altered Secession catalogs, Christopher Wool (Polaroids), 2nd Cannons Publications, Los Angeles, 2011.

Brian Kennon, Darren Bader.

Altered Secession catalogs, Michael Krebber, 2nd Cannons Publications, Los Angeles, 2011.

Michael Krebber. Michael Krebber, Villa Arson, Nice, 1997.

Simon Popper, Ulysses, 2006.

Guy de Cointet. TSNX C24V A7ME. A play by Dr. Hun. (1974). Reprint: 38th Street Publishers, New York, 2011.

James Hoff, Danny Snelson.

Inventory Arousal, Bedford Press, London, 2011.

Nicolás Guagnini. Complete Poetry.

New York: 100%, 2010.

Brendan Fowler. ISBN-10: 0-9820559-3-5. 2nd Cannons Publications, Los Angeles, 2009.

Working Drawings and Other Visible Things on Paper Not Necessarily Meant To Be Viewed, cneai, Chatou and “greatest hits”, Berlin, 2008.

Will Benedict / Julie Verhoeven.

Bread & Butt. Meyer Kainer, Vienna, .

15

bails: things that go ding-dong. bob: a small sharp-pointed object.

(Watch out for that bob-war fence.) bub: Thomas Edison invented this gadget. (That light bub is burnt out.) burnt: overly done. (Mama has burnt up the whole roast again.) This is sometimes confused with the Yankee word burned. carpetbagger: Don’t throw your money or your voice around too much while you are visiting down here, and you won’t hear this word or that other foul term, Y-A-N-K-E-E! carry: to take something or someone somewhere. (My car has a flat.

Can you carry me to the grocery store in your car?) commence: to begin. Now, it might be easier to simply say that

something has started or begun, but the old folks like to say that

it commenced, and they aren’t necessarily particular about

putting it into the past tense.

(I’ll swan, she commence a-talkin’

the minute we walked through the door and never let up till we left.) cyclone: a southern tornado. daintz: a Saturday night social. dead in his tracks: This is used to describe instant death. (They shot

that old boggar dead 16

in his tracks!) dinner: the noon meal. (Supper is the night meal.) draw up: to shrink. (I told you that blouse would draw up if you washed

it in hot water.)¹ elum: a nice shade tree. errol: an antenna for a radio or TV. fanger: one of the things that grow on the end of your hand; used

mostly for counting. farred: to be led go from your job.

(He was farred last week.) fawg: the correct pronunciation of fog. fayan: Southern belles hold these up near their faces and swish them

right fast to keep cool.

You can also buy the ceiling variety.

31

Ayn Grande. — I find it fascinating that every year so many languages pass into extinction – like native Australian aboriginal languages from settling tribes – that have never been recorded, while people make so much effort to keep alive languages rooted in fiction.

The Happy Messageboard

> Happy Flowers >Flames >Git git good team!

Daynna. — Yo’ guys is so right fine.

Ah deleted mah bluebie chareecker an’ made a fine bard af’er readin’ about Fansy! Fry mah hide! Fansy is mah noo hero! Fry mah hide!

Ah wish ah c’d be in Flowers of Happiness jest like Fansy! Fry mah hide! Git Git Good Team! Fry mah hide! Git Flowers! Long live fines! <http://rinkworks.com/dialect/> Dubbya Boosh. — Plz, lurn how tu tulk.

Daynna. — Ok sur, I veell speek pruperly frum noo oon. Bork bork bork!

Smashysmashy Bashybashy. — Quote: “Fry mah hide!” Huh? I just scoffed all over this post.

Daynna. — Geesh, didn’t anyone follow the link?

Frybread. — Yeah, funny and all, but I’ve never heard a redneck say “fry my hide”.

Meningitis. — Redneck? I thought he was tryin to sound black.

The Shaman Formerly known as Meningitis Vaginitis... Meangitis (26 Rallos Shammy) A.K.A. Gingivitiss, and Spoongitis (Rallos), Roirraw eht dyslexic W A R R I O R (Sullon) and, Beepers the Bard, “Beep Beep” (Sullon).

Snugglie Grundies. — I fullooed zee leenk, und thuooght it ves foonny.

Bork bork bork! Sumeteemes, I use-a thet screept tu reed Ferunt’s vebseete-a und zee Rellus Zek und Soollun Zek rooles. Um gesh dee bork, bork! (That was “Sweedish Chef”.)

Smashysmashy Bashybashy. — I followed da damn link and gots everydin’ “sept fo” dat “fry mah hide” doodad. Whut ah’ wanna know is, is “fry mah hide” sexual o’ be it some request t’be hurt? (Omg Omg it made me black! Hoorj! I think my wang is getting bigger!) I just scoffed all over this post.

Kerstique. — For your enjoyment, some Oscar Wilde, haxor-style: «sOceit, as we ahve constituted it, wqil lhave no place fro //e, has none to offer; butn atUre, whose swet raiNz fal7o n unjust and jusT 17

Alik, will ahve cleftz n the rOX0rs where i May hid3, nad secret vaLleys in whose silence i mayy weep iundisturbed. sHe wi7l hang Tj3 night withstars so that i may walk abraodi n the dearkn3ss without stumbling,, and send the wind 0var mty fOoptr1nts so That ||ome mmaY trAX0r meto my jurt: sh ewil7 cleanse me in gr8 waters, and //it bitter hzrbs mak3 me whol3 LOOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 cpem ot my tfp~~» Frybread. — Hahaha.

Telloran Treehugger. — Well, I just translated his paragraph into Moron and it was alot easier to understand...

Amdee. — I was bored enough to translate that. I’d better not reproduce.

Daynna. — I translated it into redneck. Ok, I’ll admit that I live in the South and have never heard of “fry mah hide!”. It’s funny though.

That’s the first time I ever heard the expression. I think I’ll start a new trend. I’m gonna start using it in everyday speech and see if anyone notices. Throw it into conversation at a redneck bar. Weeks later I’ll probably overhear someone using the expression in Wal-Mart.

Guest. — I bet they say stuff like that 18

in Mississippi and Georgia... inbreds.

Taamar Bladesworn. — *mental note: send more tells to Daynna* Hopwin. — Always has to be one, sigh.

Chubi. — YAH LOAG LIVES IN THE SAME PART OF THE COUNTRY AS ME! Where is mah stalker hat?

Snugglie Grundies. — I am of sweedish/scandinavian descent...

This one is for Frybread.

“Staaaaaaay awaaaay from the baaaaaaayg, bork bork bork!

Smashysmashy Bashybashy. — Im indian (native american) and irish.

You would think that i could drink more with that kind of genetic makeup but i cant... BTW why is this is bag of hell? Seems happy enuf to me... I just scoffed all over this post.

Daynna. — I dunno why I put it here.

Svanja. — Classic. Bump.

02.20.2003 The Single Life.....Southern Style Chargreen. — What’s so funny?

Looks normal to me! Oh, that’s right I’m a Texan. I’m always having to translate that “proper English” into Southern, Texan, Redneck, and

sometimes Spanish! Thanks for the link!

Tinmantu. — Having lived in Tyler for a few months, I can relate... heh...I hope none of our southern readers are offended because none is intended... I just thought this was a comical translation of what we type and might make us go back and read threads that we normally wouldn’t have...have fun!

Dedtired. — This is a hilarious site!

I think I’ll use it to send all my business emails. Well, fry my hide!

And I’m from Philadelphia. Yo. Tinmantu. — Glad to see that you enjoyed it, Ded....I was beginning to think that I either had a sick sense of humor or this place was totally humor dead....naaa....it’s me..~wink~ 24.01.2004 Stoutfaith. — Here are some jokes i found... I’m not trying to join SZ flowers though, just waiting for the RZ ones to get tags up.

There’s this white ecologist working with an African tribe, and one day the tribe elder comes to him and says, “My wife just had just a baby, and it’s white. You’re the only white man within hundreds of miles of

here.” The ecologist gulps and says, “Well, some things in nature just can’t be explained. Look at that herd of goats, for example. All of them are white except for that one black goat.

This is probably like that.” Finally, the Tribe elder nods and says, “Well, all right, I’ll keep quiet about my white baby, if you’ll keep quiet about that black goat.”

What do you call a hundred lesbians meeting a hundred politicians? Two hundred people who don’t do dick.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, ‘I think I’ve lost an electron.’ The other says ‘Are you sure?’ The first says, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’

Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers? A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren’t met.

First guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!” Second guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

I’m Tired now so I’m going to bed.....

“Relax Julie. Everyone will understand.”

--Romeo Daynna. — omg I laughed at the electron joke.

19

/slinks away in shame Stoutfaith. — It’s ok, i thought it was the best joke I’ve seen in a while...

It’s funny, stupid and smart all at the same time. In fact I think I’ll post it on the main forum.

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Dialectize Text Dialect: Text: Information More Dialects. New dialects really are on the way, but as past experience has shown, completion of these dialects is difficult to predict. I will post new dialects sometime in the vague future.

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Legalese This site is Copyright © 1998-2011 by Samuel Stoddard. Here you may view our disclaimer. The Redneck, Moron, Pig Latin, Hacker, and Censor translators are original creations of Samuel Stoddard. The other dialect translators are improved versions of translators created not by me but others who released them into the public domain. These dialect translators are therefore not copyrighted by me. The original draft of the Jive dialect was written by Daniel V. Klein, based on work by Clement Cole, with improvements

by Samuel Stoddard. The Swedish Chef dialect was written by John Hagerman. The engine that performs the translations was written by Samuel Stoddard.

Pappy Ponders Pappy: — Th’ passion done got me!! — Ah’ll steal some o’ these presarved turnips while no one is aroun’ but Salomey!!

(Tap! Tap! Tap!) Pappy: — Glub! - Glub! Wonder whuffo’ she keeps a-tappin’ an’ a-tappin’ an’ a-tappin’!! Foolish li’l pig!! Silly li’l pig!!

(BAP!!)

Pappy: — Whuffo’ is yo’ lookin’ at me so reproachful-like? (- Groan!)

— Fust ah steals th’ forbidden fruit!

— Next, yo’ taps, taps, taps at me!!

Next, Pansy bops me!! — An’ now yo’ looks at me reproachful-like!! — Whut do it all mean?

Doubt Over Dogpatch!

Mammy: — Salomey!! - Whuffo’ did yo’ jest dash in an’ start a-tappin’-?-?- Stop the tappin’!! — Ah needs mah beauty sleep as any fool kin plainly see!!

(Tap!! Tap!! Tap!-Tap!!!)

Pappy: — Oh-(-Sob!-) Pansy! — Ah were jest bashed by Earthquake McGoon! Yo’ coulda saved me ef only yo’ had known ‘bout it!!

21

Mammy: — Gulp!-How was ah t’ know ‘bout it, Pappy?

Mammy: — Stop thet tappin’ Salomey!! — Mah pore Lucifer!!-Oh, ef only ah had some way o’ knowin’ yo’ needed mah proteck-shun!!

(Tap! Tap!! Tap!-Tap!!)

X Marks the Spot!

(Tap!! Tap!!! Tap!-Tap!!)

Li’l Abner: — Whuffo’ does yo’ keep up thet silly tappin’, Salomey?

Shecks! — Ah jest won’t pay no atten-shun t’ her!!

Mammy: — Whuffo’ is thet li’l pig lookin’ at me so reproachful-like?

Li’l Abner: — D-don’t jump into th’ fire! Thass suey-cide!

Pappy: — Seems as if ev’rytime Salomey taps, somethin’ terrible happens ee-mee-jutly after-an’then-she goes ‘roun’ lookin’ at us reproachful-like! — Whut do it mean?

Silly Li’l Pig! Li’l Abner: — Soon as th’ fire gits a-goin’, ah’ll fry ‘em catfish. Meanwhile, ah’ll take a quick shower under suicide falls!!

Li’l Abner: — Hi, thar, Salomey!!-?-?-? Whuffo’ is yo’ in sech a sweat?

Li’l Abner: — ?-?-Whuffo’ does yo’ keep a-tappin’ like thet? A-tappin’ an’ a-tappin’?

Li’l Abner: — Shecks!-Yo’ is bein’ plain foolish! — Thar’s no point t’ yo’ tappin’!!

22

The Letter Edged in Black Li’l Abner: —?-?-Salomey keeps a-tappin’- -Then she stops!! - Thenshe starts agin!!

Li’l Abner: — Hm-m-Le’s say thet th’ number o’ taps stan’s fo’ th’ letter o’ thet number in th’ alfy-bet!!-Ho!-Ho!Whut a hoomeruss idee!!

Li’l Abner: — Four taps!!-Thet means “D”-Fifteen quick taps-Thass “O”!Fourteen quick taps — Thass “N” — DONT LOOK NOW, BUT LEM SCRAGG IS ABOUT TO SHOOT YOU THROUGH THE HAID. Comes the Dawn!!

DONT LOOK NOW, BUT LEM SCRAGG IS ABOUT TO SHOOT YOU THROUGH THE HAID.

(Bang) Lem Scragg: — Nearly gotcha thet time!! Haw!!

Li’l Abner: — S-Salomey!!-Yo’ done tapped out a m-message t’me!!-Ah d-don’t know h-how yo’ done it-butyo’ done it!!!

When Strong Intellects Meet!

Li’l Abner: — Salomey!!-Yo’ done tapped out a message t’me!!-When yo’ tapped 4 times-Thet meant “D”15 times meant “O”, an’ so on- -Th’ number o’ taps ekallin’ th’ number o’ each letter in th’ alphy-bet!!

Li’l Abner: — She’ a-tappin’ agin!!-7 taps—Thass “G”-15 quick tapsThass ”O”-15 quick taps agin- The Pact!

GOOD GRACIOUS! IT’S ABOUT TIME SOMEONE ‘ROUND HYAR PAID SOME ATTENSHUN TO ME! Li’l Abner: — It’s amoozin’- - - - - - - - - - but - confoosin’!!

Li’l Abner: — Y-Yo’ kin tap out messages!! - Ah didn’t know li’l pigs were as smart as thet!

Salomey: — M-o-s-t l-i-l p-i-g-s h-a-i-n-t. I-t a-l-l c-o-m-e o-ve-r m-e s-u-d-d-e-n l-i-k-e.

Salomey: — A-h l-o-v-e-s y-o’ a-l-l s-o m-u-c-h a-n’ w-h-e-n a-n-y o-f y-o’ w-a-s i-n d-a-ng-e-r, a-h n-e-a-r-l-y b-u-s-t t-r-y-i-n’ t’ w-a-r-n y-o’. — T-he-n a-h t-r-i-e-d t-h-i-s t-a-p-pi-n’.

Li’l Abner: — Ah gotta tell Mammy an’ Pappy!

On to Fortune!

Salomey: — N-o!!

Li’l Abner: — No? Salomey: — E-f i-t g-o-t r-o-un-d t-h-e-t a-h w-e-r-e s-o e-dd-i-c-a-t-e-d, a-h m-i-g-h-t b-e k-i-d-n-a-p-p-e-d —o-r w-o-rs-e!-T-h-i-s g-o-t-t-a b-e b-e-tw-e-e-n y-o’ a-n’ m-e!- P-r-o-mi-s-e!

Li’l Abner: — Ah promises! It’ s all amoozin’, but so confoozin’!

Salomey: — H-u-s-h!-H-y-a-r c-o-m-e t-h-e f-o-l-k-s! - R-em-e-m-b-e-r ——n-a-r-y a w-or-d ‘b-o-u-t t-h-i-s p-o-w-e-r w-h-i-c-h c-o-m-e o-v-e-r m-e!

23

Li’l Abner: — Nary a word!

Mammy: — Dunno whut we’ll do for ready money this y’ar!!-Them turnip termites done et up our whole crop o’ turnips!

Pappy: — Wisht ah were a turnip termite!

Li’l Abner: — In a way, Pappy, yo’ is!!

Whut Do It Mean?

Salomey: — F-o-l-l-o-w m-e.

Li’l Abner: —Right!!

Pappy: — Thar go Salomey, tappin’ agin! Foolish li’l pig!!-Light-haided giddy, li’l pig!!

Salomey: — I-t-’s b-u-s-t m-a-h h-e-a-r-t o-f-t-e-n s-e-e-i-n-g y-o’ f-o-l-k-s s-o p-o-o-r w-he-n a-h k-n-o-w-s w-h-a-r t-ha-r-s a f-o-r-t-u-n-e t-o b-e h-a-d. F-o-l-l-o-w m-e!!

Li’l Abner: — Sho’ ‘nuff!-But kinely be more keerful o’ yo’ spellin’-Thass th’ second time yo’ spelt “fo’tune” wif an’ “R”!!

Salomey: — Y-a-r-s a-g-o a-h s-e-e-n B-a-r-n-e-y B-a-r-n-sm-e-l-l b-u-r-y a f-o-r-t-u-n-e h-y-a-r. H-e w-e-n-t t-o g-l-o24

r-y w-i-f-o-u-t l-e-a-v-i-n’ n-o k-i-n, s-o f-i-n-d-e-r-s k-e-e-pe-r-s —— Li’l Abner: — Ah’ll dig!!

Li’l Abner: — Fo’ty two dollahs in cash!!-We is rich!!!-Salomey’s tappin’ agin!!

Salomey: — A-h-’l-l m-e-a-n-de-r ‘r-o-u-n-d n-o-w a-n’ s-or-t-a t-a-k-e t-h-i-n-g-s i-n —— Souvenir!

Li’l Abner: — It were mighty nice o’ yo’ tip me off on th’ McSwine’s plot, Salomey!-Wif yo’ power an’ mah stren’th, hain’t nothin’ kin lick us!-??- She’s tappin’ agin!!

Salomey: — A-h h-a-s s-e-r-i-ou-s i-n-f-o-r-m-a-t-i-o-n!

Li’l Abner: —Salomey!!-Do be more keerful o’ yo’ spellin’!! Thar yo’ go agin, spellin’ “info’mation” wif an “R”!!

Salomey: — T-h-a-r i-s n-o t-im-e t-o l-o-s-e. L-i-s-t-e-n!

Several hundred taps laterLi’l Abner: — Thet is serious info’mation!! —— Pow’ful serious!!-(Gulp!-) - Goo’bye!!

Daisy Mae: — Li’l Abner!!- Whuffo’ is yo’ a-runnin’ at me-wif thet wild look in yo’ eye?

The Law Speaks!!

The Sheriff: — Right, son!- he did a pow’ful amount o’ killin’ afore he got stopped in Dogpatch! - We Dogpatchers captchured him an’ turned him over t’ th’ law!! - We’ll nevah see him agin!!

Daisy Mae: — W-Whuffo’ is yo’ lookin’ at me so w-wild, Li’l Abner?

Li’l Abner: — Yo’ will see him- in ‘bout a hour, Suh!

(Smackk!!)

Li’l Abner: — Jest time ‘nuff t’ raise every able-bodied man in town, includin’ mah mammy!! - Don’t ax me how ah knows - - Ah jest knows!!

Li’l Abner: — Ah had t’do it!!- It’ll give her somethin’ (-Gulp!-) t’ remember me by!!!

He’ll Be Comin’ Roun’ th’ Mount’in!

The office of the Sheriff, at Dogpatch center — Li’l Abner: — Sheriff!- Does yo’ remember a critter name of “Th’ Killin’ Man”?

The Sheriff: — Ah shore do, son!He’s bin in th’ state pennytenshary -solitary confinement-fo’ ten y’ars now. A strange inhoomin critter he were!!

Li’l Abner: — Th’ way ah heerd it, nobody evah knew whar “Th’ Killin’ Man” come fum - or who he were - All thet were known was thet he hated things which was alive!!

The Sheriff: — Ah jest knows yo’ is weary in th’ brain, son! - Yo’ takes after yo’ pappy! - Go away an’ lemme sleep!!

Killin’ Man! Li’l Abner: — Th’ Sheriff won’t b’lieve me - Nobody b’lieves me.

(-Gulp!-) - Ah gotta do this mahselfon account ah loves Dogpatch!!

Li’l Abner: — Fum th’ top o’ Suicide Cliff hyar - Yo’d c’d hit ev’ry house in Dogpatch by throwin’ pebbles. By throwin’ sticks o’ dynamite yo’ c’d blow up ev’ry house in Dogpatch an’ kill ev’ry livin’ thing!!

Li’l Abner: — Thass whut he is comin’ up hyar t’ do - Thet strange critter they calls “Th’ Killin’ Man” Who hates all things which live!!

25

Li’l Abner: — Ten y’ars ago th’ Dogpatchers helped put him in th’ penny-tenshary. Last night he broke out - stole a box o’ dynamite fum a construction shack, an’ t’day he is comin’-t’ kill everythin’ in Dogpatch which lives!!

Trail of the Lonesome Swine!

Li’l Abner: — hyar ah waits - alert an’ ready fo’ th’ “Killin’ Man”- wif me on th’ job Dogpatch is safe!!

Z-z-z-z-z

As the steel-hard fists of “Th’ Killin’ Man” pound Li’l Abner, the boy has the sinking feeling that, for the first time in his life, he has met his master!! - And as the two giants battle away, the burning fuse grows shorter!! - There is enough dynamite in that box to blow up all Suicide Cliff - And send hundreds of tons of rocks hurtling down upon Dogpatch!!!

Design for Dying!

Z-z-z-z-z

Has the fall from Suicide Cliff affected Salomey’s brain?

Z-Z-Z Z-z-z-z Pawns of Fate!

Z-z-z-z-z Th’ Killin’ Man: — Not daid yet!!

Th’ Killin’ Man: — Daid !!

Li’l Abner: — Don’t!! Don’t!!

Mad Pig! Li’l Abner: — Don’t!! Don’t!!!

26

Li’l Abner: — Yo’ kilt Salomey!! (-Sob-) Yo’ kilt Salomey, Mistuh Killin’ Man!!

Man one: — Thet Li’l pig up an’ bit a hunk offa me!! - Ah’ll make sausage meat outa her!!

Man two: — Mah new storeboughten suit — Ruined!! - Thet Li’l pig did it deliberate!!

Pappy: — Pansy!! - Salomey done jest snatched a presarved turnip fum between mah teeth!! - Ah’ll ketch her an’ whack her!!

Mammy: — How did thet presarved turnip git between yo’ teeth in th’ fust place? - Yo’ stole it, thass how!!

- Ah’ll ketch yo’ an’ whack yo’!!

Salomey, Take a Bow!!

Man three: — Thet Li’l pig bit a hunk outa me!! - Ah’ll slaughter her!!

Man two: — Thet Li’l pig deliberately leaped into a mud-puddle an’ ruined mah store-boughten suit!! Ah’ll mash ‘er!!

Man four: — Thet Li’l pig tripped me into a barrel o’ molasses an’ then laughed in mah face!! - Ah’ll make po’k chops outa her!!

Mammy: — Yo’ done practic’ly wrecked Dogpatch, Salomey!! - Ah aims t’ ketch yo’ an’ whack yo’!!

Man five: — Look!! - Thet man!!

- He’s a-gonna bash Li’l Abner’s brains out!!

Man six: — It’s th’ Killin’ Man!!

Man seven: — Run fo’ yo’ lifes!! Thet dynamite’s gonna explode in a second!!

What Do It Say? Man seven: — Run fo’ yo’ l-lifes!!!

(BOP!!)

Man one: — Th’ Killin’ Man is safely tied up now!!

Li’l Abner: — Mammy done saved

mah life - but, Salomey - she done saved all Dogpatch!! - feller citizens - Ah is now about t’reveal th’ wondiful power this li’l pig has got - Stop a-tappin’ so frantic, Salomey!!

- Ah is gonna do it!!

(Tap! Tap!! Tap!!!)

Th’ End Li’l Abner: — Feller citizens o’ Dogpatch!! - This li’l pig hain’t no ord’nary li’l pig!! - This li’l pig is a genius!! - She kin commoonicate wif her feller hoomin beings!! All o’ yo’ which kin read an’ write, kinely take out pencil an’ paper! - When Salomey taps one time, thass “A” Two times, thass “B” - an’ so on!!

Mammy: — Wal - Fry mah hide!!

Man one: — Tsk! - Tsk!!

Li’l Abner: — Ah’m shore Salomey has a impawtint message fo’ all o’ us! - Go ahead, Salomey!

A few minutes later —— Li’l Abner: — Gulp ! -D-Did yo’ message come out th’ s-same as m-mine?

Man one: — Ah’m afeerd it d-did Li’l Abner!!

27

Man one: — Thass th’ way ah got th’ message!!

B-F-K-L-Z R-O-J-M Q-P-X-X-X W-P V-V-V L-L-L W-P-A Man two: — Thass th’ way ah got it, too, Li’l Abner!!

B-F-K-L-Z R-O-J-M Q-P-X-X-X W-P V-V-V L-L-L W-P-A Man one: — Shecks!! - Salomey cain’t no more tap out messages than any other stupid li’l pig!!

Li’l Abner: — !-?-?-B-but-?-?

Man six: — Go home an’ sleep it off son!!

28

Chapp. XXII.

——Git on wif yo’, said th’ abbess.

——Wh– – – –ysh——ysh——cried Margarita.

Sh– – –a——shu – u——shu– –u—sh– –aw——shaw’d th’ abbess.

——Whu—v—w——whew—w—w—whuv’d Margarita, pursin’ up her sweet lips betwixt a hoot an’ a whistle.

Thoomp—thoomp—thoomp—obstreperated th’ abbess o’ An’ouillets wif th’ end o’ her gold-haided kine aginst th’ bottom o’ th’ calesh——

——Th’ ole mule let a f— Chapp. XXIII. We is ruin’d an’ undone, mah chile, said th’ abbess t’Margarita,——we shall be h’yar all night——we shall be plunner’d——we shall be ravished——

——We shall be ravish’d, said Margarita, as sho’nuff as a gun, as enny fool kin plainly see.

Sancka Maria! Fry mah hide! cried th’ abbess (fo’gittin’ th’ O! Fry mah hide!)—whuffo’ was ah govahn’d by this wicked stiff joint? whuffo’ did ah leave th’ convent o’ An’ouillets? an’ whuffo’ didst thou not suffer thy servant t’go unpolluted t’her tomb?

O mah finger! Fry mah hide! mah finger! Fry mah hide! cried th’ novice, ketchin’ fire at th’ wo’d servant—whuffo’ was ah not corntent t’put it h’yar, o’ thar, enny whar rather than be in this h’yar strait?

——Strait! Fry mah hide! said th’ abbess.

Strait——said th’ novice; fo’ terro’ had struck their unnerstan’in’s——the one knowed not whut she said——t’other whut she answer’d, cuss it all t’ tarnation.

O mah virginity! fry mah hide! virginity! fry mah hide! cried th’ abbess.

——inity! fry mah hide!——inity! fry mah hide! said th’ novice, sobbin’.

Chapp. XXIV. Mah dear Mammy, quoth th’ novice, a-comin’ a li’l t’herse’f,——thar is two sartin wo’ds, which ah’ve been tole will fo’ce enny houn’dog, o’ ass, o’ mule, t’go up a hill whether he wills o’ no; be he nevah so obstinate o’ ill-will’d, th’ moment he heers ‘em utter’d, he obeys. They is wo’ds magic! Fry mah hide!

29

cried th’ abbess in th’ utmost ho’ro’—No; replied Margarita ca’mly—but they is wo’ds sinful—Whut in tarnation is they? quoth th’ abbess, interruppin’ her: They is sinful in th’ fust degree, answered Margarita,—they is mo’tal—an’ eff’n we is ravished an’ die unabsolved o’em, we shall both——but yo’ may pronounce ‘em t’me, quoth th’ abbess o’ An’ouillets——They cain’t, mah dear Mammy, said th’ novice, be pronounced at all; they’ll make all th’ blood in one’s hide fly up into one’s face——But yo’ may whisper ‘em in mah ear, quoth th’ abbess.

Hevvin! Fry mah hide! hadst thou no guardian angel t’delegate t’th’ inn at th’ bottom o’ th’ hill? was thar no junerous an’ friendly spirit unemployed——no ajunt in nature, by some monito’y shivahin’, creepin’ along th’ artery which led to his heart, t’rouse th’ muleteer fum his banquet?——no sweet minstrelsy to brin’ back th’ fair idea o’ th’ abbess an’ Margarita, wif their black rosaries!

Rouse! rouse!——but ’tis too late—th’ ho’rid wo’ds is pronounced this moment——

——an’ how t’tell‘em—Ye, who kin speak o’ ev’ry thin’ existin’, wif unpolluted lips—instrucks me—guides me—— Chapp. XXV. All sins whutevah, quoth th’ abbess, turnin’ casueyst in th’ distress they was unner, is held by th’ confesso’ o’ our cornvent t’be eifer mo’tal o’ venial: thar is no further divishun. Now a venial sin bein’ the slightess an’ least o’ all sins,—bein’ halved—by takin’ eifer only the ha’f o’ it, an’ leavin’ th’ rest—o’, by takin’ it all, an’ amicably halvin’ it betwixt yo’seff an’ t’other varmint—in course becomes diluted into no sin at all, ah reckons.

Now ah sees no sin in sayin’, bou, bou, bou, bou, bou, a hundred times togither; no’ is thar enny turpitude in pronouncin’ th’ syllable ger, ger, ger, ger, ger, was it fum our matins t’our vespers: Tharfo’e, mah dear dotter, corntinued th’ abbess o’ An’ouillets—ah’ll say bou, an’ thou shalt say ger; an’ then alternately, as thar is no mo’e sin in fou than in bou—Thou shalt say fou—an’ ah’ll come in (like fa, sol, la, re, mi, ut, at our complines) wif ter. An’ acco’din’ly th’ abbess, givin’ th’ pitch note, set off thus:

Abbess, Margarita,

Bou – – bou – – bou – – —— ger, – – ger, – – ger

Margarita,

Fou – – fou – – fou – –

30

Abbess,

—— ter, – – ter, – – ter.

Th’ two mules acsmartsd th’ notes by a mutual lash o’ their tails; but it went no further.——’Twill answer by an’ by, said th’ novice.

Abbess, Margarita,

Bou- bou- bou- bou- bou- bou—ger, ger, ger, ger, ger, ger.

Quicker still, cried Margarita.

Fou, fou, fou, fou, fou, fou, fou, fou, fou.

Quicker still, cried Margarita.

Bou, bou, bou, bou, bou, bou, bou, bou, bou.

Quicker still—God presarve me! said th’ abbess—They does not unnerstan’ us, cried Margarita—But th’ Devil does, said th’ abbess o’ An’ouillets.

Chapp. XXVI. Whut in tarnation a track o’ country haf ah runs! Fry mah hide!—how menny degrees nearer t’th’ warm sun is ah advanced, an’ how menny fair an’ finely cities haf ah sees, durin’ th’ time yo’ haf been readin’ an’ refleckin’, Madam, upon this h’yar sto’y! Fry mah hide! Thar’s Fontainbleau, an’ Sens, an’ Joigny, an’ Auxerre, an’ Dijon the capital o’ Burgundy, an’ Challon, an’ Macon th’ capital o’ th’ Maconese, an’ a sco’e mo’e upon th’ road t’Lyons——an’ now ah’ve helterskelter ‘em on ovah——I might as fine talk t’yo’ o’ so menny market towns in th’ moon, as tell yo’ one wo’d about ‘em: it’ll be this h’yar chapper at th’ least, eff’n not both this an’ th’ next intirely lost, does whut ah’ll——

—Whuffo’, ’tis a peekoolyar sto’y! Fry mah hide! Tristram, dawgone it.

————Alas! Madam, had it been upon some melancholy leckure o’ th’ crost—the peace o’ meekness, o’ th’ contentment o’ resignashun——ah’d not been incommoded: o’ had ah thunk o’ writin’ it upon th’ purer abstrackshuns o’ th’ soul, an’ thet grub o’ wisdom an’ holiness an’ corntemplashun, upon which th’ spirit o’ man (when separeeted fum th’ body) is t’subsist fo’ evah——Yo’d haf come wif a better appetite fum it——

——Ah wishes ah nevah had wrote it: but as ah nevah blot enny thin’ out——less use some honess means t’git it outta our haids direckly.

31

——Pray retch me mah fool’s cap——Ah fears yo’ set upon it, Madam—— ’tis unner th’ cushion——I’ll put it on ——

Bless me! yo’ haf had it upon yer haid this h’yar ha’f hour.——Thar then let it stay, wif a

Fa-ra diddle di an’ a fa-ri diddle d an’ a high-dum—dye-dum fiddle – – – dumb – c.

An’ now, Madam, we may venture, ah hopes a li’l t’go on, as enny fool kin plainly see.

Chapp. XXVII.

——All yo’ need say o’ Fontainbleau (in case yer ax’d) is, thet it stan’s about fo’ty miles (south sumpin) fum Paris, in th’ middle o’ a large fo’est—— Thet thar is sumpin great in it——Thet th’ kin’ goes thar once ev’ry two o’ three years, wif his whole court, fo’ th’ pleasure o’ th’ chace—an’ thet, durin’ thet carnival o’ spo’tin’, enny English juntleman o’ fashion (yo’ need not fo’getcherse’f) mebbe accommodated wif a nag o’ two, t’partake o’ th’ spo’t, takin’ care only not t’out-gallop th’ kin’——

Though thar is two reasons whuffo’ yo’ need not talk loud o’ this h’yar to ev’ry one.

Fust, On account o’twill make th’ said nags th’ harder t’be got; an’

Secondly, ’Tis not a wo’d o’ it true.——Allons!

As fo’ Sens——yo’ may dispatch in a wo’d————“’Tis an archiepiscopal see.”

——Fo’ Joigny—th’ less, ah reckons, one says o’ it th’ better.

But fo’ Auxerre—ah c’d hoof it on fo’ evah: fo’ in mah gran’ tour through Europe, in which, af’er all, mah Pappy (not carin’ t’trest me wif enny one) attended me hisse’f, wif mah uncle Toby, an’ Trim, an’ Obadiah, an’ indeed most o’ th’ fambly, ‘cept mah Mammy, who bein’ taken up wif a projeck o’ knittin’ mah Pappy a pair o’ large wo’sted breeches--(th’ thin’ is common sense)--an’ she not carin’ t’be put outta her way, she staid at home, at Shan’y Hall, t’keep thin’s right durin’ th’ expedishun; in which, ah says, mah Pappy Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo 32

Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo bibbidi-bobbidi-boo Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo bibbidi-bobbidi-boo

Boop-doop-e-doop!

And like to broke her boop-poop-adoop.

Boop-doop-e-doop!

Boop-doop-e-doop!

Salagadoola means mechicka booleroo bibbidi-bobbidi-boo

Boop-doop-e-doop!

Boop-doop-e-doop!

Boop-doop-e-doop!

Boop-doop-e-doop!

Salagadoola menchicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo bibbidi-bobbidi bibbidi-bobbidi bibbidi-bobbidi-boo

The doctor said she done boopboop-e-dooped too much.

Boop-doop-e-doop!

Boop-doop-e-doop!

Bli-blip, bobby, flam, flam, flam, hit the yaddle oddle bayou

Boop-doop-e-doop!

Boop-doop-e-doop!

Boop-doop-e-doop!

Boop-doop-e-doop!

Bli-blip, bobby, flam, flam, flam, hit the yaddle oddle bayou Bli-blip, bobby, flam, flam, flam, hit the yaddle oddle bayou (scat interlude) Bli-blip, bobby, flam, flam, flam, hit the yaddle oddle bayou She goes, Boop-doop-e-doop!

Boop-doop-e-doop!

Boop-doop-e-doop!

Boop-doop-e-doop!

And like to broke her boop-poop-adoop.

Boop-doop-e-doop!

Boop-doop-e-doop!

Boop-doop-e-doop!

She goes, Boop! Boop! Boop-doope-doop!

She goes, Boop-doop-e-doop!

Boop-doop-e-doop!

Now, she want to boop-boop-edoop to some song, But he says she could boop-boop too doggone long.

Boop-doop-e-doop!

Boop-doop-e-doop!

Wat-dat-to, Wat-dat-to, 33

Wat-dat-to, Wat-dat-to, dat dat do, da da do.

Wa da da do, Wa da da do, da doh, Whup de dittle ittle up, Dat dat dat doh!

Hep Hep! Hep Hep! Panama, Shanama, Swanee Shaw, The jim-jam-jump with the jumpin’ jive Hep! Hep! Hep! Hep! The jim-jam-jump with the solid jive, Hep! hep!

Hep! Hep! The jim-jam-jump with the jumpin’ jive, Hep! Hep! Hep! Hep! The jim-jam-jump with the jumpin’ jive, Scat-Hep Hep Hep Het Panama, Shanama, Swanee Shaw, The jim-jam-jump with the jumpin’ jive Hep! Hep! Hep! Hep! 34

The jim-jam-jump with the solid jive, Hep! hep!

Hep! Hep! The jim-jam-jump with the jumpin’ jive, Hep! Hep! Hep! Hep! The jim-jam-jump with the jumpin’ jive, Makes you hep! hep! hep! on the mellow side (Scat to the end) Hep-hep!

De-boodle-de-ack, de-boodle-deackasaki!

Hep-hep!

Oh, rang-tang, te-dah-dah, Hep-hep!

Hep-hep!

Jim, jam, jump, the jumpin’ jive; Hep-hep!

Hep-hep!

Palomar, shalomar, Swanee shore, Boy! Oh, boy!

The jim, jam, jump on the jumpin’ jive Hep-hep!

Hep-hep!

The jim, jam, jump is the solid jive Hep-hep!

Hep-hep!

The jim, jam, jump on the jumpin’ jive Makes you like your eggs on the

Jersey side, Hep-hep!

Hep-hep!

The jim, jam, jumpin’ jive Makes you hep-hep on the mellow side!

Hep-hep!

Hep-hep!

Hep-hep!

Hep-hep!

The jim, jam, jump on the jumpin’ jive, Will make you dig your jive on the mellow side, Hep-hep!

Hep-hep!

The jim, jam, jump, the solid jive Makes you nine foot tall when you’re four foot five, Hep-hep!

Hep-hep!

The jim, jam, jump on the jumpin’ jive Makes you like your eggs on the Jersey side, Hep-hep!

Hep-hep!

The jim, jam, jumpin’ jive, Makes you hep-hep on the mellow side; Hep-hep! Hep-hep!

[Scating] Now, I’ve told you ‘bout the jumpin’ jive, The jim, jam, jump, the jumpin’ jive, I know you dug this mellow jive, Oh, you dig it on the mellow side.

Boy? Oh, boy!

Panama, Shanama, Swanee shore, Let me dig that jive some more; Boy? Oh boy!

The jim-jam-jump with the jumpin’ jive Makes you get your kicks on the mellow side.

Hep! Hep! Hep! Hep! The jim-jam-jump with the solid jive, Makes you nine foot tall when you’re four foot five, Hep! hep!

Hep! Hep! The jim-jam-jump with the jumpin’ jive, Makes you like your eggs on the Jersey side, Hep! Hep! Hep! Hep! The jim-jam-jump with the jumpin’ jive, Makes you hep! hep! hep! on the mellow side!

[Call and response scat chorus differs every time. The following is simplified:] Hi-de-hi-de-hi-di-hi!

Ho-de-ho-de-ho-de-ho!

He-de-he-de-he-de-he!

Ho-de-ho-de-ho!

35

Poor Min, poor Min, poor Min.

Alley-Ooper Bounce!

[Call and response scat chorus differs every time.]

Hi-de-hi-de-hi-di-hi!

Ho-de-ho-de-ho-de-ho!

He-de-he-de-he-de-he!

Ho-de-ho-de-ho!

In the Whoop-de-Dooper Loop-de-Looper Alley-Ooper Bounce

Poor Min, poor Min, poor Min. Ho-de-ho-de-ho Ho-de-ho-deho Hi-de-hi-de-hi Hi-de-hi-dehi Bodoo-la-doo-la-doo-badoo Bodoo-la-doo-ladoo-la-doo Ho-de-ho-de-ho Hode-ho-de-ho Oh, the gong around! Oh, the gong around! Wit-da-slow-joe-vi Wit-daslow-joe-vi Bod-de-doden-boddleoh Bod-de-doden-boddle-oh Ho-deho-ho-ho-ho Ho-de-ho-ho-ho-ho Hi-de-hi-de-hey! Hi-de-hi-dehey! O-de-bot-doo-doo! O-de-botdoo-doo! Ba-doo-ba-doo-ba-doobottle! Ba-dooba-doo-ba-doo-bottle! La-Minnie had a heart as big as a whale.

Poor Min, dead Min, oh, Minnie-Min. Ya can’t bounce the bounce The Whoop-de-Dooper Loop-deLooper Alley-Ooper Bounce!

The Whoop-de-Dooper Loop-deLooper 36

Whooping Looper Whooper...

I mean the Looper Dooper Whooper...

The Whoop-de-Dooper Loop-deLooper Alley-Ooper Bounce!

The Whoop-de-Dooper Loop-deLooper Alley-Ooper Bonnce!

In the Whoop-de-Dooper Loop-deLooper Alley-Ooper Bounce The Whoop-de-Dooper Loop-deLooper Alley-Ooper Bounce!

The Whoop-de-Dooper Loop-deLooper Alley-Ooper Bounce!

(--wee--) (--wooo--) The Whoop-de-Dooper (--Whoop-de-Dooper--) Loop-de-Looper (--Loop-de-Looper--) Alley-Ooper Bounce WOW!

Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zaz, Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zay, Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zaz, Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zay!

Now, zaz-zuh-zaz was handed down And he used to hi-de-hi-de-ho.

Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zaz, Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zay, Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zaz, Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zay!

With her zaz-zuh-zaz, Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zay, Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zaz, Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zay!

For the zaz-suh-zaz will always see them through!

Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zaz, Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zay, Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zaz, Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zay!

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zaz, Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zay, Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zaz, Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zay!

Now, zaz-zuh-zaz was handed down And he used to hi-de-hi-de-ho.

Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zaz, Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zay,

Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zaz, Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zay!

With her zaz-zuh-zaz, Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zay, Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zaz, Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zay!

For the zaz-suh-zaz will always see them through!

Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zaz, Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zay, Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zaz, Zaz-zuh-zaz-zuh-zay!

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay I was in Pawis when ta fiwst vewsion of Bwancusi’s “Biwd in Space” was bedun in 1924. I taw da cast fow da fiwst time in ta waw tate as it came fwom ta foundwy; it was tan a wough madd of metaw wit onwy a vague tuddestion of its finaw fowm.

I taw it adain two yeaws latew, when it was compweted, and it was tan tat I puwchased it fwom Bwancusi.

Whiwe tevewal of Bwancusi’s woiks had pwayed a wole in ta Awmowy Show of 1913, his fiwst one-man exhibition was hel’ in Mawch, 1914, in ta Gawwewy of da Photo-Secettion which was awso known as “291,” wotated at 291 Fift 37

Avenue and diwected by Awfwed Tiedwitz.

When I awwived in New Yowk wit my newwy-acquiwed Bwancusi, entewin’ it as a woik of awt unde pawadwaph 1704 of da Tawiff Act of 1922, ta U.S. Cuttoms wefuted to wecodnize it as tuch, and pwaced it undew pawadwaph 399, which put it in ta tame tatedowy wit kitten uttensits and hotpitaw tuppwies, addetted at 40 pew cent ad valowem. But as ta bwonze had been vawued at $600, I was obwided to pay $210 duty. Seetin’ undew tis insuwt to Bwancusi and to modewn awt, I voiced my indidnation and decition to tue at a tociaw datewin’. I spoke to Mws. Hawwy Payne Whitney, foundew of da Whitney Tudio Cwub, which latew became da pwescent-day Whitney Muteum of Amewican Awt, and Juwiana Fowce. Mws. Whitney tuddetted tat tince tis was tuch an impowtant and faw-weachin’ cate, it touwd be officiawwy inttidated by ta sculptow himsewf, so as to make it “Bwancusi, Pwaintiff, vs. United Tates, Defendant.” She denewoutly offewed to take cawe of te financiaw atpects of tuch a tuit. Showtly teweaftew, in 1926, ta heawins bedan. A decition was handed down two yeaws latew.

Da twiaw took pwace in ta ol’ United Tates Customs Couwt, ta dwoom and dwabnett of ta woom accentuated by ta diwty 38

wawws. Behind ta lon’ Bench tat ta twee didnified Juttites, Waite, Youn’ and Cwine, in teiw judiciaw wobes, adainst ta backdwound of a lawge, dutty-wookin’ Amewican fwad. Da Bwancusi Biwd in Space, twiumphant in awl its cwean, tewene beauty, was of couwse da chief witnett. Tose awidned in da defente of da mattewpiece as an owidinal and cweative woik of awt wewe mytewf, da sculptow Jacob Epttein, Fowbes Watton, pubwishew of Ta Awts, Fwank Cwownindhiew’, Editow and duidin’ piwit of Vanity Faiw, Wiwwiam Henwy Fox, Diwectow of ta Bwookwyn Muteum, and Henwy McBwide, ta fowemott cwitic and champion of modewn awt of ta time. Ta five expewt witneddes vouched fow and extowwed Bwancusi’s quawifitations as awtitt and sculptow, citin’ his muteum and exhibition wecowd.

Bwancusi, in his depotition made in Pawis, tated: «Hewwo, tis woik was made by me. I pewsonawwy took ta bwonze catt out of ta mol’.

Ta teme in bwonze is my vewy own invention and execution. Ta tecond wepwoduction is not yet finidhed.

I cewtify tat no tecond bwonze vewtion of it exitts, now does ta woik exitt in mawbwe, ttone ow wood. Hewp. Gwanni! Ta bwonze tat I tol’ is ta owidinal. I finidhed tis towe modew in 1926. Aftew ta piece was catt, awl da woik was done wit my own hands, and da powishin’

was awso done by hand. Huwwy!

Huwwy! No powishin’ machine ow any otew mechanicaw inttwument was uted fow tis. Come on, Puddytat... Kiss da wittle birdy!!»

Ta expewts fow ta dovewnment wewe two academics Amewican sculptows, Wobewt J. Aiken and Tomas H. Jones. Aiken tettified tat Bwancusi’s name was not known to him untiw 1921, and tat da Woumanian’s sculptuwes wewe not, to his way of tinkin’, woiks of awt. Jones, too, found ta “Biwd” wackin’ in tose quawities which his considewation conttitute a woik of awt. Ta populaw titwe of Bwancusi’s woik had been chanded fwom “Biwd in Space” to “Biwd in Fligh’”, and tis made fow fuwdaw obfuttation, tince it teemed tat da oppotin’ countew couwd not dwatp da idea of fligh’ witout vitibwe winds.

And awl twough ta heawin’, it teemed tat whenevew some fawfetched tatement was made by a witnett, tudboats in ta hawbow tooted exactwy wike a Bwonx cheew.

Ta juddes kept ta cate undew advitement untiw Nov. 26, 1928, when tey wuwed tat da tettimony of a dwoup of expewts wedawdin’ da vawidity of a woik of awt made it acceptabwe as tuch. Accowdindwy, da fuwl amount of ta addetted duty I had been obwided to pay was wefunded to me. Tis hittowy-makin’, and much-pubwicized, wawsuit

ettabwished a pwecedent which is of pawamount impowtance to da wowl’ of modewn awt.

Edwawd Teichen, Bwancusi vs.

United Tates, poor Puddy Tat! in Awt in Amewica, vowume 50, pp. 56-57, 1962.

[IDDN: 0004-3214] On ta occation of ta Awt in Amewica Annuaw Awawd, da wecipient, Mw. Teichen, made an impwomptu peech which detaiwed da 1926 Cuttoms Couwt debate as to whetaw Bwancusi’s “Biwd in Space” was awt ow hawdwawe.

A few weeks latew Midd Gwace Mayew, Mw. Teichen’s addittant in ta photodwaphy depawtment of Ta Muteum of Modewn Awt, one of ta wuncheon guetts attembwed to honow Mw. Teichen, made use of hew tape-wecowdew memowy to wecaww fow us ta cowe of ta tawk.

Hewe it is, wit Mw. Teichen’s own photodwaphs of ta “Biwd” now safewy estabwished (as awt, wit dovewnmentaw acquietcence) in his Connecticut home.

Bestelldatum: 2007-01-17 16:07:35 NORMAL Kopie BSB Bayerische StaatsBibliothek SUBITO-2007011703866 Universitaetsbibliothek der Universitaet fuer angewandte Kun Oskar Kokoschka-Platz 2 39

1

„Imagine my Wednesday-self proffering up for approval some always-already genius (this is fantasy, ok) bit of demonality.“ Richard Hawkins interviewed by Frances Stark, All things to all people, in Afterall nr.04, 2001.

2 Vgl. Lisa Holzer, Nachmittagsformen (I) offene Haare, Pigmentprints auf Baumwollpapier, 2006.

3 Vgl. Stephen Prina, The Second Sentence of Everything I Read Is You: The Queen Mary, 1979-2006.

4 „Lange mit dem Mond hinübersehen.“ Arno

Schmidt, Die Gelehrtenrepublik, 1957 (Suhrkamp Verlag Frankfurt am Main 2006, S. 17).

5 Vgl. Lisa Holzer, Nachmittagsformen (II) Feuer, Pigmentprints auf Baumwollpapier, 2006.

6

„so still, daß Niemand hindurchgehen konnte.“ Arno Schmidt, Nobodaddy’s Kinder, Aus dem Leben eines Fauns, 1953 (1989, 2005 Arno Schmidt Stiftung, Bargfeld und Suhrkamp Verlag, Frankfurt am Main, S. 11).

7 Vgl. Lisa Holzer, Die Deutlichkeit a charlatan pose, Pigmentprint auf Baumwollpapier, 2005.

8

„Auf die Sterne soll man nicht zeigen; in den Schnee nicht schreiben; beim Donner die Erde berühren;“ Arno Schmidt, Nobodaddy’s Kinder, Aus dem Leben eines Fauns, 1953 (s.o., S. 9).

9 „und machte 4 Wochen lang nur noch Hunde.“ Arno Schmidt, Die Gelehrtenrepublik, 1957 (s.o., S. 158).

10 „Die Beleuchtung hält Sie.“ Ich sagte lachend: „Auch Sie?“ Paul Valery, Monsieur Teste, 1926 (Suhrkamp Verlag Frankfurt am Main 1992, Erste Auflage 1995, S. 19).

11 Vgl. Lisa Holzer, Besuche, Pigmentprints auf Baumwollpapier, 2005.

12 Vgl. Lisa Holzer, Wir sind alle aus Zucker und selten zu Pferd, Text-Installation, Cafe am Park, 2006.

13 „Agathe sieht sich in heiliger Überfülle und zitternd ob ihrer Sünden in der Welt stehn und bemerkt ungläubig, daß sich ihr die Schlangen und Nashorne, Berge und Schluchten still und noch viel kleiner, als sie es selbst ist, zu Füßen legen.“ Robert Musil, Der Mann ohne Eigen schaften, 1932 (Rohwohlt Taschenbuch Verlag

40

1978, 16. Auflage 2002, S. 744).

14 Vgl. Lisa Holzer, Kakao Kakao Kakao Kakao, Pigmentprints auf Baumwollpapier, 2007.

15 Vgl. Mark Leckey, Drunken Bakers, Video- Installation, 2005.

16 Vgl. Lisa Holzer, Der Entscheider, Pigmentprints auf Baumwollpapier, 2005.

wieder zu sich zu kommen, sich also dreimal zu treffen und dabei drei Lücken geformt zu haben. Die Lücken hat sie selbst herbeigeführt, selbst die Schnittmenge miteinbezogen. Es ist alles da. Sie Überlegt. Umdenkt. In sich verschränkt und doch Wesentliches auf ganz eigene Art offen lassend.

Beflügelnde Unsicherheit. Denken! Eine Vermittlung durch das Besondere durch die Lücken hindurch. Durch die Luft, die frische Luft. Sie läßt dreimal alles offen, sich aber nie los… Gewinnt sich immer wieder. So kann sich die Wirklichkeit verfangen. Sich treffen. Die absolute Form. Alles hört auf, fängt an, trifft sich und wird dreimal umarmt.

L. – Brezel. Backware. Frische Luft. Die Brezel schenkt uns ihre Logik. Es duftet. Völlig verloren in Nachmittagslandschaften. Karotten ohne Ende. Vom Abend keine Spur. Möglichkeiten. Eine glücklichere Logik. Kommen Sie zurück!

H. – Backware, ja! Sie geht natürlich immer anders auf. Sie wird immer anders.

Sie ist gezogen. Das Werden ist schon da. Jedes Mal. Immer. Jeden Morgen neu. Eine kurze Form. Sie sieht immer anders aus. Die schönste Maske des Verstehens. Aussehen ist so wichtig.

L. – Für die Logik? Sie Clown.

H. – Sie wird ihr Sich-selbst-im-Weg-stehen ausnutzen. Sie wird sich einlassen auf alle Farben des Eigenen. Sehr frei, weil unbekannt. Deren Logik langweilt uns. Honig ums Maul führt nirgendwohin. Teelöffelchen.

L. – Eine Frühstückslogik. Frühstücksbrösel überall. Soweit das Auge reicht.

Nichts zu sehen. Tropfender, triefender Honig.

H. – Sie ist verzweigt. Geht zwei Wege, gibt zwei Antworten, die aber immer zusammenhängen irgendwie. Und doch ist sie ganz schnörkellos die Brezel.

Bewußte Gedankensprünge. Störrisch wie das Verstehen. Bewußtes Zu-VielWollen. Liebe. Verkennung. Ungenauigkeiten. Unsinn. Verlegenheit. Ein NichtRein-Passen-Wollen. Weltaufmachendes!

L. – Doppelt deutlich, doppelt sehen, doppelt orange. Mi t t woch. Wo kämen wir hin? Ein Aufbrezeln. Auswege. Nachmittagsnichts. Ich werde den Nachmittag nicht los. Woanders! Brezelamusements.

H. – Ein Aufbrezeln. Sich aufbrezeln. Sich durcheinander bringen lassen, den Kopf verlieren… Die eigenen Ideen durchkreuzen. Immer ankommen. Sich verschränken und zweimal wiederfinden. Das ist tröstlich. Tröstlich ist nicht die Brezel, es ist die Idee der Brezel: Die Brezellogik.

L. – Im Zeichen der Brezel… So kann man auch verloren gehen. Sie Schwärmer. Wo Sie sich da jetzt verlieren in einem sich endlos wiederholenden Kommentar, das lassen wir aus, ja?

H. – Berührt dreifach. Elektrisch sein bei jeder Berührung, jedem Ankommen.

Glücken.

41

L. – …im Vorbeigehen Glück.

H. – Gleich!

L. – Verstehen ist störrisch?

H. – Offensichtlich. Ein Hinausgehen ist möglich. Das Hinaus ist schon da.

Selbstvergessen und da. Essen Sie sie auf. Ab! L. – Elektrisch sein?

H. – Gleichzeitig verschiedener Regen. Zauberfarben. Es kann leicht sein. Wie eine Liebesgeschichte. Eine Liebesgeschichte mit allen Farben des Eigenen.

L. – Hmm. H. – Die Tücken nützen. Ausnützen. All das Wollen ausnützen. Die Nasigkeit der Wirklichkeit von hinten an der Nase nehmen.

L. – Sie Überwinder.

H. – Das Möglichwerden von Folgerungen, vom Weiterdenken des Unmöglichen, des Eigenen. Das Fehlen der großen erzählerischen Lösung.

Schleifen. Brezelgleich. Für all das Unfaßbare, all das Grünrot. Sie für sich sprechen lassen. Die Drachen mit den Löwen… Gesehen werden. Gehört werden… Aufhören. Anfangen. Bäcker sein. Im Bäcker sein. Im Februar.

L. – Der andere zeigt die Zähne. Und was soll die scheue Giraffe? Eine Clownerie.

H. – Ein Vergnügen! Die Brezellogik. Kokett. Schon weil Denken die schönsten Augen macht. Glänzende Augen.

L. – Sexy. Trunken von Vorfreude. Die Bäcker waren ihr ein Rätsel. Können wir anziehen? Können wir den Abend vorziehen? Jetzt?

H. – Den eigenen Kontext verlassen allein um ihn wieder zu finden in einer anderen Farbe, sagen wir in blau. Daß sich das Bild verschiebt. Es wiederholen bis es vorübergeht. Es kommt. Es überstürzt vorbeispaziert von selber.

L. – Was für eine neue Hose! Paßt doch ausgezeichnet.

H. – Ja, die paßt wirklich ausgezeichnet. Die sitzt sehr gut.

L. – Und die Welt lümmelt verstohlen beim Frühstück. Gelassen. Herbeigeredet.

Sonnt sich kleinkariert. Tut zumindest immer noch so. Malt sichs lieber aus blinzelnd, taumelnd. Frühstücksverloren. Honigverschmiert. Sie hielten es nicht aus. Wollen es nicht wissen. Nicht wie traurig sie sind. Unbewegt.

Unbeweglich. Abendscheu. Die Letzten sind beim Frühstück. Und niemand kennt neue Marmeladengeschichten. Und das Wetter weiß auch nicht.

H. – Also jetzt lesen, sprechen Sies mal mehr von der Seite her. Dann von oben.

L. – ??

H. – Lesen Sies nochmal hellblau!

L. – ??

42

ISBN 978-3-950302-0-0

Der Sixth Trick Easter days have komm again, Ven der pious baker men Bake all sorts of zugar tings, Plum-keks, ginger-cakes, und rings.

Hans und Fritz feel an ache In deir sweet-tooth for som’ kek.

Aber der Captain thoughtfully Locks his shop, und takes de key.

Vo Vould steal, den, dis must do: Vriggle down der chimney-flue.

Ratsch! Dere komm de boys, mein Jiminy!

Black as ravens, down der chimney.

Puff! into a chest dey drop Full of flour up te der top.

Out they crawl from under cover Just as white as chalk all over.

Aber dercracknels, precious treasure, On a shelf dey spy vith pleasure.

Knacks! Der chair breaks! down dey go——— Schwapp! ——into a trough of dough!

All enveloped now in dough, See dem, monuments of woe.

In der Captain komms, und snickers Ven he sees der zugar-lickers.

One, two, three! the brats, behold!

Into two gut brots are rolled.

Dere’s der oven, all rot-hot, ——— Shove ‘em in as quick as thought.

Ruff! out vith ‘em from die heat, Dey are brown und gut te eat.

Now you tink dey’ve paid de debt!

Nix, mein friend, dey’re living yet.

Knusper! Knasper! like two mice Through deir roofs dey gnaw in a trice; And der Captain cries, “You bet!

Dere’s de raßcals livin’ yet!”

Dis vas de badboys ‘sixth trick, Ber de last vill follow quick.

Letzt Trick Hans and Fritz! I grow sick, When I think on your last trick.

Why must these two scalawags Cut those gashes in the bags?

See! der Inspector on his back Carries corn off in a sack.

Scarce has he begun to travel, When the corn runs out like gravel.

All at once he stops and cries: 45

“Darn it! I see where it lies!”

Ha! with what delighted eyes Hans and Fritz he espies.

Rabs! he opens wide his sack, Shoves the rogues in ——Hukepack!

It grows warm with Hans and Fritz, For to mill der Inspector hurries.

“Herr Inspector! Hallo, man!

Grind me that as quick as you can!”

“In with ‘em!” Each wretched flopper Headlong goes into the hopper.

As der Inspector turns his back, he Hears the mill go “creaky! cracky!”

Here you see the bits post mortem, Just as Fate was pleased to sort ‘em.

Der Inspector’s ducks with speed Gobbled up the coarse-grained feed.

Conclusion In the village not a word, Not a sign, of grief, was heard.

Mama speaking low, Said, “I thought it would be so!”

“None but self,” cried Lena, “to blame!

Mischief is not life’s true aim!”

Then said gravely Miss Twiddle, 46

“There again is an example!”

“To be sure! bad thing for youth,” Said King Bongo, “a sweet tooth !”

Even Captain says, “Good folks!

See what comes of stupid jokes!”

But der Inspector: “Guy! What concern is that to I?” Through the place in short there went One wide murmur of content: “God be praised! the town is free From this great rascality!”

“Why do I have to suffer such indignities!?”

These are the first words Snoopy ever thought in a comic strip, on May 27, 1952. The ‘thought balloon’ comes in the last of the four boxes, after Charlie Brown mocked the dog’s ears, calling them ‘muffs’; the latter, his brows furrowed, walks back who knows where. An unexpected anti-punchline, even if this kind of philosophical humor was already one of the Peanuts’ most remarkable features… And yet the strip had begun simply: after a picture of Snoopy asleep sat on his hind legs — looking like a little doggy then; Schulz hadn’t found his definitive silhouette — Charlie Brown’s joke could have pleased any reader of The Washington Post, The Chicago Tribune, The Minneapolis Tribune, The Allentown Call-Chronicle, The

Bethlehem Globe-Times, The Denver Post or The Seattle Times — the seven newspapers that were the first to publish, through the powerful United Features Syndicate, Schulz’ strips.

— Charlie Brown, Lucy Van Pelt and the football, the kite-eating tree, the deep meditations under the star-studded sky, Snoopy dancing, Beethoven’s Birthday, etc. Repetition, melancholy, incompleteness, friendship, impulses, social frustrations, existential emptiness: the little group depicted by Schulz is neither ideal nor virtual, and they speak a language of their own, very singular, without any unfounded weirdness but with delicate precision. Thus it grounds, little by little, a set of commonplaces that, along with a series of remarkable narrative and graphic features, builds the identity and the dynamism of the cartoon. So works any comic strip — through a double open development, involving both the design of characters and their stories and the arousal of the reader’s closer attention.

Why is such a process worth noting?

Because it implies the invention of an audience despite or thanks to a very closed and framed publishing system, that of newspapers and magazines, that is to say mass-media, with their editorial concerns and marketing techniques. The daily production, the limited space on the sheet, the framing by headlines, columns and fillers — all that sounds quasi-obso-

lete today given the current information & picture circuits and production means. But if the constraints have changed, the goal they aimed is the same: affirming the voice of authority.

And here is this idea — a few boxes laid out at the bottom of the page, by the end of the paper, open a timespace of their own, all drawing and storytelling. The point is neither communication nor opinion making, but rather an intimate chat: before information and entertainment, here is a different use of the paper, the black & white cheap printing. A specific area, disrupting the whole ‘content’ of the publication; a room for conversation, a smile or some wonderment. It’s worth noting that lots of comics from the first part of the 2Oth century came out of the necessity to replace a missing ad… Here begins counter-culture — new uses are suggested, news signs are proposed.

Reality is not denied but distanced, grasped from an unfamiliar point of view — therefore the importance of children and their friends more than family in comic strips, from the Yellow Kid to Calvin & Hobbes: they stand for a off-centered look, less whimsical and callow than demanding, interrogative and determined. Reading their stories, keeping them in mind — beyond the short-lived daily paper comes a community of careful readers. We know that the drawings we love to find there are not ‘private’: they are shared indeed, by chance or 47

I See De Point?

74

See Dis is Wot Keeps Me In Such A Good Humor An So Purty its De Real Ting

Say I Wont Do A Ting p. 139

1

DE EVENT WILL BE DE GRATE HOBOKEN HANDIKAP

16 Dont Trow Tings At de Ackters

28

Dis Time I’m de real ting 30 Be Sure To Get The „Rediculous“ Dress Stay Tanks Awfully 42 Say Look Out Now 50

48

91

Arts COLLECTIONS>CARTOONS

The Kid From Hogan’s Alley

By John Canemaker Published: December 17, 1995 SIGN IN TO E-MAIL PRINT SINGLE-PAGE

Fun Over Here 71 I Jist Love Pictures Dey Dont Git Tough FroM age 74

II DONT GUY THE PERFORMERS

<Yellow Kid Constanze.doc>

Heres Some More Room Fer A Good Fight 71

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Now Watch Tings Grow

I’m Good Because It Pays 120

Dis Aint No Fancy Dress Bawl 61

Gee I’ve Lost My Pants 75 Stage Grass Easy To Keep Green Say Dat Aint As Funny As It Looks See 98 I’m De Only Real Ting In Dis Show 103 Dis Is A Nice Drivin’ Dress 111

34

me Mudder Wud drop Ded iF she Seen dis Golleckshun Everyting Is Fun Wit’ Me 116 If You Dont See What You Want Ask For It 118

112

83

R. F. OUTCAULT’S THE YELLOW KID A Centennial Celebration of the Kid Who Started the Comics. Introduction by Bill Blackbeard. Illustrated. 301 pp. Northampton, Mass.: Kitchen Sink Press. $55.

THE recent flap over the “Cry Baby” cartoon depicting a diaper-clad Newt Gingrich in a tearful tantrum is a vivid example of the direct communicative power of cartoons. Featured on the front page of The Daily News, the wonderfully vulgar caricature of the Speaker of the

House provoked reactions from the general public as well as politicians, ranging from glee to outrage.

The response to this cartoon recalls the emotional and financial impact that newspaper cartoons regularly elicited at the turn of the century. One of the earliest and most influential examples is showcased in the book at hand: a bald, jug-eared, bucktoothed Irish slum urchin named Mickey Dugan, who, because he invariably wore a bright yellow nightshirt, was also known as the Yellow Kid. This character, created by the cartoonist Richard F. Outcault (18631928), was once so popular that he profoundly affected the fortunes of the rival newspaper barons Joseph Pulitzer, who owned The New York World, and William Randolph Hearst, who owned The New York Journal.

Their newspaper circulation wars, waged in 1895 and 1896 to attract new readers, especially among the working class and New York’s growing population of immigrants, included lurid headlines, staged news events, staff raids and cartoons printed in full color, a technological marvel for newspapers of the time.

Bilder von Andy Warhol Signierte Prints von Marilyn Monroe bequem & einfach online bestellen! artsation.com/andy-warhol-bilder

Private banks Switzerland Open an account at private banks Switzerland www.alpenrosewealth.com New works on paper.

“Yellow? Why yellow? The yellow jumps out at you—jumps right out of the pages. I’m an artist, I understand color.

— Take my advice, Charlie. Color shouldn’t startle, it should soothe.

Now a soft green...

— You don’t understand, Art. This isn’t a matter of good or bad color. I want you to color the kid in this drawing yellow.

— O.K., Charlie, I’ll make a yellow kid. A yellow kid! One thing—it’s going to be something new!”

(Coulton Waugh, The Comics, 1947.)

PIET, PIET, PIET, PIET, PIET, PIET, PIET, PIET, PIET, NIET, NIET, NIET, NIET, NIET, NIET, NIET, NIET, NIET. Piet. The Dutch painter.

Piet Mondrian... Piet Mondrian is very like Vermeer, yet the opposite.

The cerulean blue employed by Mondrian is the same color Vermeer loved so much. And the yellow of the apples is the same as Mondrian’s yellow. Mondrian and Vermeer are both Dutch. Vermeer is almost everything and Piet is almost nothing.

49

CHAPTER I WHEREIN ARE INTRODUCED OUR FOUR GENTLEMEN FLO shuts the door with a bang and runs up the stairs two steps at a time. He nearly always bangs doors and is nearly always impatient. He taps firmly at the door just at the head of the stairs; then he pushes it open and enters.

“Are you going?” he says, and his face is all in a glow of excitement and pleasure. “...morning!”

“Say, are you going? Why in the world don’t you tell me? I have been half wild all the morning.”

Ali smiles. “Which question shall I answer first?

What a perfect interrogation point you are. Am I going, do you mean? I am sure I don’t know. I haven’t thought much about it. Do you really suppose it will be worth while?”

Flo stamps his foot impatiently. “How provoking you are! Haven’t thought of it, and here I have been talking and coaxing all the morning. It is a wild scheme, of course, and no sense; but I’m going for all that. I don’t have a frolic once in an age, and I have set my heart on this. Just think of being away for two whole weeks! And doing all sorts of wild things. I’m just delighted.”

Ali remains thoughtfully for some seconds, then he says: “Why, there is nothing in the world to hinder my going if I want to. Of course I should go somewhere. But the point is, what do I want to go for?”

“Why, just to be together, and be away, and live wild, and do nothing civilized for a fortnight. It is the nicest idea that ever was.”

“And should we really go?” Ali asks, still speaking thoughtfully, and as if he is undecided.

“Why, yes, of course, now and then. Precious few people go for the sake of it. It is a grand jollification.”

he sinks down among the cushions of the sofa. “______ thinks it is silly, and ___ thinks it is sillier, and _______ thinks it is the very silliest thing I ever did yet; but for all that I am going—that is, if the rest of you are.”

Which, by the way, is always this Tobi’s manner of speech. He is going to do or not to do, speak or keep silent, approve or condemn, exactly as the mind which is for the time being nearest to his chose to sways his. Toby is getting old… It is creeping up on him now.

“Good!” says Flossy, softly clapping his hands as he is used to do when things are going the way he wants them to go, which is for sure one of the way he delights the most. “I didn’t think it of you, Tobi; I thought you were too much of a mouse. Now, Ali, you will go, won’t you? As for Wolfgang, there is no knowing whether he will go or not. We can go anyway, whether he does or not—only I don’t want to, I want him along. Suppose we all go down and see him; it is Saturday, he will be at home, and then we can begin to make our preparations. It is really quite time we were sure of what we are going to do.”

By dint of much coaxing and argument Ali is prevailed upon to leave his fascinating brown hat with its brown velvet trimmings, and in the course of the next half hour the trio are on their way, intent on a call on Wolfgang.

This time, Unkle Tobi asked the important question: “Are you going?”

Wolfgang answers as promptly as though the question is decided for a week.

“Yes, certainly I am going. I thought I told you that when we talked it over before. I am washing out my collars to have them ready. Ali, are you going to take a trunk?”

“How you boys do rush things. Why, I haven’t decided yet that I am going.”

Tobi is greeted with great glee.

“Oh, you’ll go,” Wolfgang says. “The question is, are we to take trunks—or, rather, are you to? because I know I shall not. I’m going to take only one dress. Put it on on Tuesday morning, or Monday is it that we start? and wear it until we return. I may take it off, to be sure, while I sleep, but even that is uncertain, as we may not get a place to sleep in; but for once in my life I am not going to be bored with baggage.”

“I’m going,” he says, with a soft little laugh, and

“I shall take mine,” says Ali with determination. “I

At this point there is a faint little knock at the door, and Flo springs to open it, saying as he goes: “That is Tobi, I know; he always gives just such little pussy knocks as that.”

50

don’t intend to be bored by being without baggage.

It is horrid, I think, to go away with only one garment, and feel obliged to wear it whether it is suited to the weather or not, or whatever happens to it.

Flossie, what are you laughing at?”

“I am interested in the phenomena of Wolfgang being the first to introduce the dress question. I venture to say not one of us has thought of that phase of the matter up to this present moment.”

The talk goes on.

If these four young gentlemen had been creatures of the brain, gotten up expressly for the purpose of illustrating extremes of character, instead of being flesh and blood creations, I doubt whether they could have better illustrated the different types of young manhood.

There is Flo Reither, dwelling in solitary grandeur in his royal altitude, as Austrian royalty goes, a man who has little idea of life except as a place in which to have a serenely good time, and teaches everybody to do as he desires them to.

He is spending his life in elegant pursuits that mean nothing, those of them which do not mean worse than nothing, and the only difference between him and a hundred others around him is that he knows perfectly well that they all amount to nothing, and doesn’t hesitate to say so, therefore he earned the title of “queer.”

At the same time he does not hesitate to lead the whirl around this continuous nothing, therefore he occupies that perilous position of being liked and admired and envied, all in one. Very few people love him, and queerly enough he knows that too, and instead of resenting it realizes that he could not see why they should. He is, moreover, remarkably careful as to his leading after all, and those who follows are sure of being led in an eminently respectable and fashionable way.

He is the eldest son of a large, good-natured, hardworking, much bewildered family. They were honest. They ought to have been called “the happen family,” by reason of their inability to tell how much or how little they might happen to have to live on, whether they could afford three new clothes apiece or none at all. The fact being that it depended on the amount there was in Herr Reither’s beat whether there were to be luxuries or simple bare necessities, with some wonderment as to how even those were to be paid.

Flossie was the most light-hearted and indifferent of this free-and easy family, who always had roast

turkey when it was to be had, and who could laugh and chat merrily over warmed-up meat and johnnycake, or even no meat at all, when eventually such days might have come.

Alika Janka is the respectable sounding name that the young man bears, but the full name sounds utterly strange to his ears, and the wild little word “Ali” seeming to have been made on purpose for him.

Yet Ali is by no means a “pink-and-white” boy without character; on the contrary, he has plenty of character, but hitherto it has been frittered away on nothings, until it looked as much like nothing as it could. He is the sort of person whom education and circumstances of the right sort would have developed into splendor, but the development has not taken place. Now you are not to suppose that he is uneducated. He has graduated with honor; taken the first prizes in everything. But the very fact is that the word “wonderful” fits that man’s name.

How he ever came to think that he could go was a matter of surprise to himself. Just how full of fun and mischief and actual wildness Ali is; for before that conversation at Wolfgang’s was concluded they decided that they were really going.

Why Wolfgang goes, puzzles the boys very much, puzzles himself somewhat. He is his own master, has neither father to direct nor sister to consult. He has an unkle and aunt who live where he calls “home,” and with whom he spends his vacations, but they are the poorest of hard-working country people, who stand in awe of Wolfgang and his education, and by no means venture to interfere with his plans.

Wolfgang Gantner is as independent in his way as Ali was in his, but they are very different ways. Ali, for instance, indulges his independence in the matter of clothes, by spending a small fortune in looking elegantly unlike everybody else, and straightway creates a frantic desire in his set to look as nearly like his as possible.

But no one cares to look like Wolfgang. It is agreed that he looks remarkably well, but so unlike any one else they don’t see how he can possibly bring himself to dressing so. He laughs when this is hinted to him, and gets what comfort he can out of the fact that he is considered “camp.” In a certain way he rules them all, Ali included, though that young man never suspected it.

The queerest one of this company is Tobiah Volker Ernst Urban—queer to be found in just such company, I mean. He is the petted darling of a wealthy

51

home, a son to be loved and cherished, and allowed to have his own sweet and precious way.

Money is a commonplace matter of-course article, neither to be particularly prized nor despised; it is convenient, of course, and must be an annoyance when one had to do without it; but of that, by practical experience, he knows nothing.

Now how did those four boys come to be friends?

Oh, dreadful! You don’t expect me to be able to account for human friendships I hope, especially for schoolboy friendships? There is no known rule that will apply to such idiosyncracies. They had been at a summer camp together. Even Wolfgang, with the indomitable energy which characterized him, found himself strangely enough drawn into this strange medley of character that moved in such different circles, and yet called themselves friends. You are to understand that the actual circle in which their lives whirled was as unlike as possible. The Urbans were the cream, cultured, traveled, wealthy, aristocratic as to blood and as to manners, literary in the sense that they bought rare books, and knew why they were rare. The Reithers had a calling acquaintance with their family because Herr Reither was their chosen “Metzger”, but that came to pass through an accident. This family never went to the Urban entertainments, never were invited to go to the other entertainments starting from the same circle, yet they had their friends and many of them. The Jankas were free-and-easy, cordial, social, friendly people, who bought many books and pictures, and were prominent, and were popular everywhere, but were not, after all, of the Urban stamp.

Finally came Wolfgang, alone, no position any where, save as he ruled in the most difficult room in the most difficult ward in the city. A worker, known to be such; a manager, recognized as one who could make incongruous elements meet and marshal into working order.

And these four boys were going—were to start on Friday morning, June 20, 1980.

CHAPTER II IN WHICH ARE CONTAINED MATTERS OF THE TRAVELING ATTIRE MEANTIME the express train is giving occasional premonitory snorts, and our four young men are in various stages of unrest, waiting for the moment of departure. A looker-on would have been able to come to marked conclusions concerning the different characters of our ingenious men, simply from their manner of dress. Tobiah V.E. Urban is the one

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to look at first. That is a very good description of his usual style—something to look at. He has chosen for his traveling dress a pale, lavender cashmere, of that delightful shade that resents a drop of water as promptly as a drop of oil. It is trimmed with a contrasting puerile patch, and trimmed profusely as usual. In short, Unkle Toby looks as though he might be an old lady ready for an evening concert.

Moreover, he feels as if he is, or at least he has an uncomfortable consciousness as to clothes. He keeps a nervous lookout whenever the crowd of people surges his way, and brushes vigorously at the arm of the seat he has chosen. Evidently he has given himself over to the martyrdom of thinking of and caring for clothes during this journey, and I don’t know whether there is a greater martyrdom made out of a trifle than that. It is one of Toby’s besetting sins, this arraying himself in glory, and making wrinkles in his face in the vain attempt to keep so. Not that he is particularly anxious to save the wear and tear, only he hates to look spotted and wrinkled, and he could never seem to learn the simple lesson of wearing the things best suited to the occasion. Toby is getting old. It is creeping up on him now.

Standing near him, toying carelessly with his traveling fan, and looking as though the thought of clothes is something that has passed utterly by him, is Mister Janka. He looks like one of those men whom gentlemen in their wisdom are always selecting, pointing them out as models. “So tasteful and appropriate, and withal so simple in their clothes.”

Let me tell you about his apparel. It is plain dark brown, precisely the shade of brown that the fashion of the season requires. Very simply made, almost severely plain, as Mister Janka knows. In fact, elegant simplicity marked his entire toilet, everything matched, everything is fresh and spotless, and arranged with an eye to remaining so. I am willing to concede that he is faultlessly dressed, and it is a real pleasure to see him thus. But I am also anxious to have the gentlemen understand that that same simple attire represents more money than two wardrobes like Tobi’s. It is often so with those delightfully plain and simple clothes that attract so many people. In fact, it might as well be admitted, since we are on that subject, that elegant simplicity is sometimes a very expensive article.

Flossie Reitherr is neither particularly elegant nor noted for simplicity, yet his clothes are not without character. We see enough of that sort to become familiar with what it means. Its language is simply a straightened purse, necessitating the putting to-

gether of things that do not quite harmonize, and accessorizing in a way that will cover the most spots and take the least material. That was Flo’s dress. Trousers of one kind and top of another. A very economical fashion, and one not destined to last long, because of its economy, and the fact that very elegant men rather curl their lips at it, and call it the “patchwork style.” Flo from choice rather than necessity adopted it, and it is also his taste rather than his misfortune that the colors are too frivolous to be really according to the mode. His shirt is of an entirely different shade from the rest of the attire, that does not quite match. Altogether, Flo’s clothes do not suit Mister Janka. But, for that matter, neither do they suit himself, with this difference, that it is, after all, a matter of minor importance to him.

Wolgang’s dress can be disposed of in a single sentence: It is a plain suit, severely plain, a french tennis shirt and he looks every inch a man. Wolfgang pretends to know ways about the attire. The very people who would have curled their aristocratic lips at any of the boys’ attempt at style, turn and give Wolfgang a second thoughtful respectful look.

There is a dandyish Mr. ————— who deserves attention. He possesses himself of Ali’s fan, and plays with it carelessly, while he says: “You are a queer set. What are you all going off there for, to bury yourselves? I don’t believe one of you has an idea what you are about. And it is the very height of the season, too.”

“That’s all the trouble,” Ali says, with a little toss of his handsome head. “We are sick of the season, and want to get away from it. I want something new. That is precisely what I am going for.”

“I have no doubt you will find it,” and the gentleman give a disdainful shrug to his shoulders. “Out in the A.W.! I am sure I envy you.”

“You know what we will find,” Ali says, with a defiant air. “Or what may happen to us before we return. We may meet our destinies. I have no doubt they are lurking for us. Just you meet the evening train of Wednesday, two weeks hence, and see if you can not discover the finger of fate having been busy with us. Wonderful things can happen in two weeks.”

Just then the train gives its last warning howl, and Sir ————— makes rapid good-byes, a trifle more lingering in the case of Ali than the others, and with that prophetic sentence still ringing in his ears he departs. And the four boys are actually en route for

their fate.

CHAPTER III ENTERING THE CURRENT (E Pericoloso Sporgersi) IT is a queer thought, not to say a startling one, what very trifles about us are constantly giving object lessons on our characters. Those four men, as they arrange themselves in the cars for their all-day journey convey four different impressions to the critical looker-on.

In the first place they each select and take possession of an entire seat, though the cars are filling rapidly, and many an anxious woman and heavily laden man look reproachfully at them. They take these whole seats from entirely different standpoints—Ali because he is a finished and selfish traveler; and although he does not belong to that absolutely unendurable class, who occupy room that is not theirs until a conductor interferes, he yet regularly appropriates and keeps the extra seat engaged with his flounces until he is eventually asked outright to vacate it by one more determined than the rest. He hates vulgar company and avoids it when possible. Wolfgang is willing, ready, to give up his extra seat the moment a person of the right sex appears; not simply a cleanly, respectable individual—they might pass by the dozens—but one who attracts him, who is elegantly dressed and stylish looking. Wolfgang would endure being crowded if only the person who does it is stylish. Tobia is indifferent to the whole race of human beings; he cares as little as possible whether a well-dressed lady stands or sits; so far as he is concerned they were apt to do the former. He neither frowns nor smiles when the time comes that he is obliged to move; he simply moves, with as unconcerned and indifferent a face as he has worn all the due. As for Flo, he takes an entire seat, as he does most other things, from pure heedlessness; any one is welcome who wants to sit with him. These various shades of feeling are nearly as fully expressed in their faces as though they have spoken; and yet they do not in the least comprehend their own actions.

This is only an illustration; it is so in a hundred little nothings during the day. Not a window is raised or closed for their benefit, not a turn of a blind made, that a close student of human nature could not have seen the distinct and ruling differences in their temperaments, no matter from what point of the compass they start.

“Now for our dinners!” Flo said, as the whistle shrieked a warning that the next station was being

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neared. “What are we going to do?”

“We are going to eat them, I presume, as usual,” Mister Janka said in his most indifferent tone. I should explain that long before this the boys had grown weary of the separate seats, and by dint of much planning and the good-natured removal of two fellow passengers to other seats had accomplished an arrangement that should naturally have been enjoyed from the beginning: that of a turned seat, and being their own seat-mates.

“But I mean,” Flo said, in no wise quenched by what was a common enough manner in Mister Janka, “are we to get a lunch, or are we to go in to a regular dinner?”

slice of bread and butter, with a very thin slice of fat ham, which I never eat, and a greasy doughnut, the whole done up in a brown paper. This is decidedly an improvement on the bag dinner—which you think of going after—in an economical point of view; and as I am a student of social and all other sorts of economy, not only on this trip but on every other trip of mine in this mortal life, I recommend it to you; at least I would have done so if you had asked me this morning before you left home.”

Flo made a grimace.

“I might have brought splendid Würste from home if I had only thought of such a thing,” he said, regretfully. “My thoughts always come afterward.”

“If you mean what I am going to do, I shall most assuredly have a ‘regular’ dinner, as you call it. I have no fancy for eating things thrown together in a bag.”

“And it is quite the mode to take lunches with you when they are elegantly put up,” Toby said, regretfully, as he prepared to follow Ali. “I wonder we never thought of it.”

“The bag will be the most economical process for all that,” Flo said, laughing at Mister Janka’s disdainful face.

This last remark of Toby’s set the two boys left behind into a hearty laugh.

“I presume very likely; but as I did not start on this trip for the purpose of studying social economy, I shall vote for the dinner.”

“And I shall take to the bag method,” Flo said, decidedly. Opposition always decided him. So it did Tobi, though in a different way; he was sure to side with the stronger party.

“It would be pleasanter for us all to keep together,” he began in a doubtful tone, looking first at Mister Janka and then at Flo. “But since, according to Flo’s and my decided differences, it is impossible for us to do the ‘better’ thing, which of the two ‘worse’ things are you going to do?” This Mister Janka said with utmost good nature, but with utmost determination—as much as it would have taken to carry out a good idea in the face of opposition.

“Oh, I think I’ll go with you.” Toby said it hastily, as if he feared that he might appear foolish in the eyes of this young man by having fancied anything else.

“Very well—then it remains for Wolfgang to choose his company,” Flo said, composedly.

Wolfgang held up a paper bundle.

“It is already chosen,” he said, promptly. “It is a

54

“Do you suppose that when Toby has to die he will be troubled lest it may not be the fashion for young men to die that season?” Flo said, as he gathered his long long legs about him anxiously.

“No,” Wolfgang answered, gravely, “not the least danger of it, because it happens to be the fashion for men to die at all seasons; it is the one thing that never seems to go out. I am heartily glad that we have one thing that remains absolute in this fashionable world.”

Flo looked at him thoughtfully.

“Wolfgang, one would think you were queer— sometimes,” he said, gravely. “You make such strange remarks.”

Wolfgang laughed immoderately.

“You ridiculous little thing!” he said, as soon as he could speak. “You do not even know enough about queer to detect the difference between goodness and wickedness. Why, that was one of my wickedest remarks, and here you are mistaking it for goodness. My dear child, run and get your paper bag before it is time to go; or will you have my slice of ham and half this doughnut? The bread-and-butter I want myself!”

The freshness and novelty of this journey wore away before the long summer afternoon began to

wane; the cars were crowded and uncomfortable, and the cinders flew about in as trying a way as cinders can.

None of the boys had the least idea where they were going. They knew, in a general way, that there must be such a place as the ART WORLD, as the papers that they chanced to come in contact with had been full of the delights of that region for many months; and, indeed, a young lady of their acquaintances, earnest, enthusiastic and sensible, who had reached it a year before, had sown the first seeds that resulted in this trip.

forgotten.”

But at this point they checked their nonsense and began to get up a new interest in existence. They were among a different class of people—earnest, eager people, who seemed to have no thought of yawns or weariness.

“I actually begin to think there is some foundation for Flo’s wild fancies after all,” Wolfgang whispered, “or else this is another party of lunatics as wild as ourselves; but they are a large and respectable party; I’m rather hopeful.”

She of course could tell the exact route and the necessary steps to be taken; but it had been no part of Flo’s wisdom to ask about the journey thither; he knew how many boats were on the lake, and what kind of fish could be caught in it, but the most direct way to reach it was a minor matter. So there they were, simply blundering along, in the belief that the railroad officials knew their business, and would get them somewhere sometime.

In two minutes more the railroad official who speaks in the unknown tongue yelped something at either door, and thereupon everybody got up and began to prepare for an exit.

As the day waned, and the road became more unknown to them, and their weariness grew upon them, they fell to indulging in those stale jokes that young men will perpetrate when they don’t know what else to do.

As they declared, with much laughter, and many smart ways of saying it, that the Art World was a myth of Flo’s brain, or that he had been the dupe of the fine young lady who had chanced his way and that the search for paradise would come to naught, perhaps it was not all joking; for, as the hours passed and they journeyed on, hearing nothing about the place of which for the last few weeks they had thought so much, a queer feeling began to steal over them that there really was no such spot, and that they were all a set of idiots.

“Haven’t the least idea,” Wolfgang said, composedly gathering his wrappings; “it sounded as much like any other word you happen to think of as it did like that, but everybody is going, and Tobey and I are determined to be in the fashion so we go too.”

“I thought we should have been there by this time, and regularly established at housekeeping,” Wolfgang said, as they picked up baskets and bundles and prepared to change cars; “and here we are making another change. This is the third this afternoon, or is it the thirteenth? And who knows where our final destination is or what it is? Is anybody sure that it is in this hemisphere? Flo, you are certain that your young lady did not cross the Atlantic in order to reach her elysium?”

“This way...,” said the gentlemanly official, touching his hat as politely as though they had been princesses. Why can’t subordinates more often show a little common politeness? This act decided the location of our four gentlemen in a twinkling; they knew nothing about any of the hotels, and, other things being equal, anybody would rather go to a place to which they had been decently invited than to be elbowed and yelled at and forced. Water and rest and tea did much to restore them to comfort, and as they discussed matters in their rooms afterward they assured each other that it was just the place be. A discussion was in progress as to the evening meeting. Mister Janka reposed serenely in the rocking-chair, offering no remark beyond the composed and decided, “I am not going to

“Our destination is ‘here’,” Flo said, as they climbed the steps of the car. “I see the name on that building yonder; though whether ‘here’ is America or Asia I am unable to say. I think we have come overland, but it is so long since we started I may have

“What do you think he said?” questioned Flo with a shade of anxiety in his voice. He had been the leader of this scheme, and he felt just a trifle of responsibility.

At the door dismay seized upon Tobiah. A light drizzly rain was falling. Oh, the lavender suit! and his waterproof tucked away in his trunk, and everybody pushing and trying to pass him.

“Never mind,” Wolfgang said, with utmost good nature, “here is mine; I haven’t any trunk, so it is handy; and it has rained on my old alpaca for ages; can’t hurt that, so wrap yourself up and come along, for I believe in my heart that this is IT.”

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Although your aphorism, “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness” has become one of the most famous in American letters, it is also one of the most enigmatic.

If you don’t mind a little awakening, I’d like to ask you a few questions on this phrase―particularly on the ultimate right.

Since we are being cryptic, I’d like to begin in an archaeological fashion, that is, looking at and for the origins of this declaration. This statement is obviously developed from John Locke’s tripartite right of “Life, Liberty, and Estate”, and later Adam Smith’s “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Property”. So firstly I’d like to ask: why change the word “property” to “happiness”?

As you well know, the word property is derived from the Latin poprius meaning particular to, or appropriate to, an individual person. That is, the fundamental right or quality of selfownership and thus responsibility for one’s own action as supported by your own, “all man are created equal”. This however, takes the individual out of the polis; if this right is inalienable, it exists apriori to the political state as it is in your own words: “endowed by their creator”. I wonder; can a state be justified in its responsibility to guarantee something, which is part of life proper? Maybe this is why you 56

changed the word, but that doesn’t escape the problem.

One could say that this inalienable right is by definition alienable since it does not exist without the imminence of a declaration; if the truth is “self-evident” why speak of it unless it is only created with said utterance? Furthermore, don’t these ideas need to be physically defended beyond simple earning through utterance?

Never forget: homo homini lupus as one of your forbearers stated.

A state is best at guaranteeing alienable objects, i.e. things, material goods, and objects that can be taken or given, hence the root of the word polis in the modern word police. Doesn’t this bring a new character to your qualifier: pursuit?

In a broad sense this word covers a wide range of personal interest and aspiration, and yet more narrowly it also refers to the right to acquire and/or to avoid acquirement. Is not the state created to protect and execute such a proposition?

On acquirement, most of your declaration uses direct quotations and/or paraphrases from previous thinkers without the slightest of attribution. If they are “self-evident”, does this mean that these thoughts, or concepts in general, belong to no

one? Do you believe in upholding plagiarism mores; do you believe in intellectual property? Can there ever be such a thing as equality within a system of asymmetrical information? When you were the head of the patent office you stated, “he who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me.” So then, is it a matter of interpolation and education, as you seem to both borrow and amend knowledge?

Yet I ask, what is obscured in your selective and edited references without attribution?

Shall we look at the word “happiness”?

For one, the word is derived from the Old Norse happ, meaning chance or luck. Again, something external to ones actions, and as such, is not necessarily earned through labor.

Happ itself is even derived from the much older gehæp, meaning convenient. Are you implying that the state is set-up in order to promote convenience, or more specifically to strive after such? Is this a manifestation of your deism, that government like God winds the clock but allows it to run in absentia? Is this why you lead such a lazie-faire presidency a feature of your life, which you did not even

care to mention on your epitaph!

Shouldn’t you have promoted vast social programs instead?

Would it then be fair to assume that the state can only create the grounds to “pursue” convenience and not provide them, thus: life, liberty, and the potential for every man to be for him/herself? And what is the “self”; can there be such a thing as a purely self-reflective action in an interconnected society?

Just as the right to property necessitates a system of exclusion supported on the back of a security force to maintain this exclusion, doesn’t the idea of pursuit not only imply self-interest, but more importantly, an essential lack or void in each citizen? Won’t this bread greed and a society for and of the self?

What do you think of your motto when weighed against the French Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité, which directly references the social contract and not just the freedom of simple unobstruction of any daily desire?

Or for that matter, what is your take on the Canadian: “Peace, Order and Good Government”? Does this model not imply a level of deference to the law?

57

Although your motto is derived from Smith’s Wealth of Nations, have you too forgotten its companion text The Theory of Moral Sentiments? Here Smith defines property as propriety, and therefore; founded on a shared sense of prudence, benevolence, reason and sentiment. The American primarily seeks for the fulfillment of his/her own happiness in your setup. And what becomes of a nation without a shared social goal other than the negative enforcement of liberty? It descends into a society without ideals and is based solely on the indulgences of one’s personal freedoms… it must become atomized and seeks consumer goods to fill the void created by the desire of pursuit itself.

In this bottomless pit of desire, what happens when the attainment of this hope for “happiness” is consistently deferred? In the past we have lashed outward unilaterally since this deferment cannot be accepted from within; is this why you bought Louisiana, did the country need to become bigger, did it need yet another great hope to pilfer? It apparently did and does; we have moved first from Louisiana to the Pacific, and now the whole world.

The trap has been set as our only ideal becomes a paradox: the positive enforcement of negative liberty over all other forms of 58

government. And it is with this trap that America has justified the right for its form of freedom to supplant all others by any means. With such an ideal, the world simply becomes one giant client state.

So, how is men’s desire for liberty to be reconciled with the need for authority? The answer cannot simply be the pursuit of happiness. As I said above, you failed to mention the drafting of the declaration on your tombstone. But, you did mention your founding of the University of Virginia. Is this the key?

In your university we have a social contract in micro scale, an “academic village” as you dubbed it. And this society is entirely inward looking, based on a shared idea of the pursuit of knowledge instead of one of self-indulgence.

The American project has been defined as a Great Experiment; yet, your university is more of a great laboratory of willingness and continual experimentation the pedagogy of the Great Lawn attests to this. Did a government that promoted the pursuit of happiness ultimately disenchant you? Did you try to forge a new model? Were you looking for a space of life, liberty and the pursuit of openness?

Medium nr.3 Adam Kleinman to Thomas Jefferson

Edited by Étienne Chambaud Medium is a journal dedicated to dialogues with the dead. For each issue, one person is invited to write to another person who has passed away. Each text is a semiinterview– the dialogue a living person addresses to a dead person– whose answer remains pending, suspended. Medium is distributed as inserts within various magazines and journals.

Medium nr.1: Matthias Bonopera à Mikhaïl Bakhtine Medium nr.2: Yves Tenret à James Joyce www.medium.li This issue published by Westphalie Verlag Aniling. 2/45 A-1060 Vienna www.westphalie.com ISBN 978-3-9502302-2-2 MEDIUM

Paris, May 2007 Dear

,

In the evening of the first day of struggle, shots were fired simultaneously yet independently in various places at the clocks of Paris towers.

We are writing to invite you to contribute a text that will constitute one issue of the journal Medium.

Medium is a journal dedicated to dialogues with the dead. For each issue, one person is invited to write to another person who has passed away. Each text is a semi-interview—the dialogue a living person addresses to a dead person—whose answer remains pending, suspended.

— That may seem inappropriate.

— Or ordinary, on the contrary.

When one quotes, reads or speaks for a dead person, when one relates what that person has said, when one feels one belongs to a community of spirit with the dead person’s oeuvre, then indirectly one has a dialogue with her/him. At that point, forms are blurred, with as little definition as the image of a ghost.

— This may be right, yet there is a limit to it: I think that most of the time I conceive of this relationship as an intellectual relationship with an oeuvre, and not with its author.

59

— Yes... but I may also express the desire for a more direct verbal relationship...

— You mean that one could derive a pleasure from addressing a dead person directly, as in a conversation?

— One does not say the same things when one addresses, or quotes, or writes about someone.

— Yes. And some relationships are even more direct than those you describe. There is mediumism, spiritualism, the ghostly, there are spirits, the haunting, and the near death experiences that some claim to have had.

— Let us say that some affects travel through time and dissolve more slowly than bodies do.

— So what about Medium?

— Medium is sensitive to this, and close to a mediumistic ideal—to have a dialogue with a dead person, to speak to a dead person, at least to address him/ her through a relationship that seems more immediate. Some psychics describe their technique for communicating with the dead as a developing technology. Medium is more interested in the way in 60

which a living being addresses a dead person than in the technology that could sustain their exchange.

And the desire to speak to a “dead” author can spring from a very simple impulse, like the enthusiasm of reading her/his works.

— If I consider my voice—my discourse—as a multitude of voices, as a polyphony of voices from the present, the past, perhaps the future, of voices that i benevolently host, then perhaps I can start to see the filial or friendly relationship I could directly have with a dead author. For once, I shall not be the mediator of her/his voice.

— One of these voices says: “Now I know whose voice this is that I would have liked to precede me, to carry me, to invite me to speak and to insert itself within my own discourse.”

— Is Medium a ceremony, a fiction, a game, an unfinished exchange?

— To address a dead person is to create a relation of immediacy to the awaiting of the latter’s answer, a physical relationship.

— So we’re never very far from a joke?

— I don’t know. I don’t think there is an opposition of the I—believe/I—

laugh type.

Yours truly,

— It’s a strange new kind of twist.

— Hmmm... it’s neither really strange nor really new!

— And you really believe in this trans—historical dialogue thing?

— I do.

— Even though there’s no dialogue properly speaking?

— It has the energy of the dialogue...

— ...that is faced with an unbearable solitude.

Medium is distributed as inserts within various magazines and journals.

Each issue consists of a single text.

Each text thus appears in a different context. Medium has no graphic identity of its own. Its physical, typographical inscription is challenged with each new publication.

For this letter of invitation, however, we have chosen the font Akzident Grotesk Light in size 11.

I look forward to reading you, and should you have any questions do not hesitate to contact me.

— Or me.

61

Imprint Berlin at MISS READ KW Institute for Contemporary Art, Berlin.

4.9.09 to 6.9.09, 12-19 h. www.kw-berlin.de Do you remember Pig-Pen in the Peanuts cartoons? He was always covered with dirt and grime. He was cute, but he was a walking sludge heap, filthy and proud of it.

CHARLIE BROWN. “Pig-pen” why are you always so dirty? When in the world are you going to clean up?

PIGPEN. I have affixed to me the dirt and dust of countless ages... Who am I to disturb History?

(In Peanuts, Sept. 15, 1954) Now, Pigpen will have his own magazine. It is coming after the Italian comics magazine Linus (1965) and its follower, the French Charlie (1969), both named after Peanuts’ characters.

While Linus Van Pelt is the intellectual with his “security blanket” classical pose and Charlie Brown, the lead character of Peanuts, remains concerned with the true meaning of life, Pigpen is the dirty one of the gang.

He walks around in a cloud of dust, sprinkling dirt on all he comes in contact with. However, Pigpen’s dust is nothing less than historical dust...

“Don’t think of it as dust. Just think of it as the dirt and dust of far-off lands 62

blowing over here and settling on Pig-Pen! It staggers the imagination!

He may be carrying the soil that was trod upon by Solomon or Nebuchadnezzar or Genghis Khan!”

If you want to receive Pigpen nr.1, you can fill in the subscription coupon and receive your copie at a special suscriber price!

Be a suscriber now!

Yes! I want to receive PIGPEN NR 1 at a very special suscriber price and I will receive an email for confirmation order.

My name is: My email is: My adresse is: www.westphalie.com

TXL VIE 16.11.09 12:20 AB8268 M 20KG 11,20 dort, 10,40 weg.

13:30

Westphalie at Künstlerhauspassage: Painted books, painted rolls Baking pretzels B’s Salon Light 28-30 November Point Ephemere 200, Quai de Valmy, Paris 10 http://salonlight.wordpress.com new release Benoît Maire The Square in a Forest

Benoît Maire’s publication includes the preface, introduction and an incomplete chapter I of a book to come, eventually.

The Square in a Forest is the chronicle of a possible exhibition, inspired by the works of: Gabriel Orozco, Ryan Gander, Balthus, Seth Price, Liam Gillick, Marcel Duchamp, Donald Judd, John McCracken, Ian Wilson, Ugo Rondinone, Sturtevant, Lee Lozano, Dan Graham, Reena Spaulings, General Idea, Steven Parrino, Adam Pendleton, Brice Marden, Martha Rosler, Marcel Broodthaers, John Armleder, Phillipe Thomas, Pierre Joseph, Cercle Ramo Nash and Pierre Klossowski.

The music is by Philip Glass.

English, paperback, self-cover, saddle-stitching, 32 p., 135 x 210 mm., 250 ex.

ISBN 978-3-9502302-6-0 Price: 16 euros Published by Westphalie First published in French at Le Pavillon, Palais de Tokyo, Paris, 2006 Translated into English by Anna Preger Set in 11/14 pt JansonText Printed in Austria Copyright © Benoît Maire, 2008 All rights reserved Westphalie Verlag

ISBN 978-3-9502302-6-0 Bread-andButter, Ditsies & Dumb-dumb PUBLISH AND BE DAMNED A ONE-DAY SELF-PUBLISHING FAIR Sunday 3rd August, 12 - 6pm Rochelle School Arnold Circus London E2 7ES Free admission http://www.publishandbedamned. org I am playin dis game an I dont want no fresh mug te gimme any tips See Westphalie Hors Collection Seltener Stil* Edited by Maria Holzer With contributions by Erwin Bohatsch, Ernst Caramelle, Mary Ellen Carroll, Heinrich Dunst, Helmut Federle, Norbert Fleischmann, Jakob Gasteiger, Michael Höpfner, 63

Last month we Next month

Jackson ...

And/Now/... Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson and Madonna and Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson eat/count/crunch.. strawberries. (???today crunch

We say: “Westphalie

oder In Michael Jackson and in Michael Jackson and in Michael Jackson and in Michael Jackson and in Michael Jackson and in Michael Jackson and in Michael Jackson and in Michael Jackson and in Michael Jackson and in Michael Jackson and in Michael Jackson and in Michael Jackson and in Michael Jackson and in Michael Jackson and in Madonna and in Michael Jackson and in Michael Jackson and in Michael 64

“We will thus have to distinguish between a form of chance that follows necessity (and all causal series) and a form of chance that precedes necessity”, Clément Rosset utters through muffled laughter. Martha Rosler’s asif approach points up the manner in which conceptual art dresses itself up with the modes of signification, or the signifying practices, of other disciplines. How can the as-if be conceived in the castle? The origin of the term ‘chance’ (hasard), a dice game played at the castle in Syria in the 12th century, is rapidly absorbed into the French language as a term that suggests a certain passivity on the part of the player, for his destiny depends on factors other than his own qualities as the cast dice decide for him. A distinction is thus drawn between the game of chance and the game of fate in which one’s destiny lies in the hands of the gods. Here the trial of tragedy presents itself in its fundamental sense as that which eludes all possibility of control.

At this point we should state the relationship between the as-if and chance, only at this stage in the game there has yet to be one, their relationship thus remains Anzeichen, a clue, a call.

It is night-time and the darkness hangs like a black cloak over the forest, heavy,

damp, shrouding it entirely. Elaine paints a sky in the manner of De Chirico, producing the same flat surfaces. De Chirico is back in vogue in the 1980s. In the 1950s and 60s he created copies of his own metaphysical paintings to make money. The circulation of fake Warhols due to the silkscreen printing technique is another problem, but Warhol claims to be able to spot the fakes. Warhol often talks about Elaine Sturtevant. But we must draw a distinction between the term copier and copyist. There is a big difference between the copier and the copyist. It seems that the copyist has a Classical Renaissance approach to her work whereas the copier’s stance is more like that of a shrewd trickster. The copyist’s as-if dimension forms the link with classical repetition: that which is repeated is the initial energy, the impulse, the jouissance of an impulse that ventures the appropriation of territories that have no fixed form for the time being, having been borrowed from other disciplines. The as-if of the copyist, whose work is definitively never done or finished, but always redone or started over, suffers from a jouissance of the ‘again’, that is, it relies on a repetitive differentiation of a jouissance that cannot be wholly divulged, and announces its repetition, over and over, again and again. So to begin with one must be aware of this, in the castle and the surrounding forest, the works on display, the exhibition, is a repetition again, or rather it is again a repetition, and not a copy resembling an imitation of an exhibition, or of all the possible modes of exhibiting the works re-presented.

We must reflect here on the again of repetition, a question of gender that remains unresolved, a question of gender that has to do with a specific jouissance of the affect that we will observe further on, but so as to introduce it briefly straight away: it is Lacane’s again, Lacan’s hysterical side, his female conceptual character, in as much as he supports part of feminine language (langage) with his cane (canne).

In texts on aesthetics an image can often replace what is discussed, an image that iterates the question. One generally exits the labyrinth by its entrance, in the Holzweg, one can also leave by the same place, which brings about a strange relationship to time, exiting by the entrance in a different time without ever really backtracking, or without realizing it perhaps. This produces a temporal series of a different nature, no longer the passing of time, but moments that are threaded together like beads, on a spatial line, a line that I occupy each time I find myself where I was before. On this string of beads successive retroactions occur, a form of nostalgia sets in, this temporal series is of a different kind. For example there is such a thing as an abstract temporal series made up of all the days when I see my sister—all of the days at first, then fewer days, up to the point when I cannot even see her anymore—for whatever reason, including dramatic ones, which 65

lends it a certain colour. Once closed, the temporal series is organized into a story, with a beginning, development and end. By the way we entered, does this mean one should always retrace one’s steps? The work of certain artists as the constant return to the starting point stands precisely as the copy of the initial energy, the original impulse. Can we conceive of a labyrinth with such impulses?

And could it form a backbone in terms of the organization of the exhibition?

The castle’s metaphorical labyrinth would be made up of the grouping of the affective qualities of the starting points, the impulses, a labyrinth that would perhaps be punctuated, at its limit, by the kitsch repetition, the repetition of an emptied form repeating itself across the scattered shards of history. The sense of the repetition always occurs within a diegetic space. Let us say that under the sky, a repetition that is not a copy configures a diegetic field, that is to say: the elements that make up the framework of a story. The repetition of the form of the affective impulse, the choice of a form that is at its point of exhaustion brings about its devaluation into kitsch, which amounts to a type of affect that proceeds to repeat itself without an as-if in the historical-logical series of the diegetic space of a circumscribed territory. “Kitsch is the repetition of a form, of its mode of formation”, claims a member of Le Cercle Ramo Nash. “Is a temporal delay a crime, are we summoned here because of our relationship to repetition?” he enquires. “Not a single one of us can be said to be kitsch, but we play a part in the repetition of diegetic series of the history of forms”, he declares to the other members of the Circle while Glass can be heard playing in the background. The idea of the crime occurs at this point, when the Glass music repeats itself, when the labyrinth takes shape, when the kitsch quality emerges, there is a Minotaur hidden within the exhibition becomes a possible statement, silence would be pointless, the wind blowing through the branches of the poplar trees, the thorn bushes.

This is to be read in the running of the present words, or in the attempt to structure un-finalized statements that rhythm the pass band.

At this point in the exhibition the diegesis is determined by a certain number of works that punctuate the link, a considerable amount of which are created by members of Le Cercle Ramo Nash. The curator has placed Reena Spaulings’ flags nearby, Seth Price breaks a pane of glass, once with his foot and once with his hand, he is now bleeding. Seth Price walks slowly through the forest, his long hair gets tangled up in the low branches, but in reality his hair is short, in his hand he clasps a book by Don DeLillo, he is now reading a passage to Liam Gillick (who is watching Lee, who remains silent): “He found a dark lounge and 66

went inside. Two men sat at a table playing an Egyptian board game. Squares of equal size. Penalties levied. Element of chance. Billy recognized the game; he’d seen it played at the Center by colleagues of his. Numerous geometric pieces.”

Liam recognized the book: “Yes it’s in Ratner’s Star, the 1976 book, towards the beginning I think”, he says. Everything is set up to suggest a theory of games in an exhibition centre, only the glass panelling is missing, in the castle everything is made of stone, and the visitors use candles to light their way.

In the forest everything suggests that there is only the announcement, only qualities of the announcement and references to statements that structure the understanding of the works that are exhibited there, without one knowing what it is about exactly, but a politics of statement inter-referencing does not amount to a story but to the contours of a diegesis. This diegesis which is an ‘other’ word but one intrinsic to Lyotard’s propositions on postmodernity is the one the inhabitants cover on the pass band. The people that visit the exhibition find themselves on the pass band, it is a fastened belt according to philosophies of the return, it is a zone of impulse, and of initial qualities according to vitalistic philosophies, and from Lyotard’s perspective, at least in his Libidinal Economy, it is both simultaneously. At that point in time Lyotard spent all of his time in the forest, he climbed trees and let his beard grow, like Wittgenstein he lived in a den, but more in the manner of Tom Sawyer’s friend Huckcle Berry Fin [sic], a name that sounds like that, I’m unsure of the spelling, a home, a little tree-house.

Reconciled with the countryside, with Nature, as in Thoreau’s novel, Lyotard meditates on the stream and wonders how best to go about fishing trout bearing in mind the ebb and flow of the current. At the same point Philippe Thomas walks towards a strange DS1, her headlights are still on, she has probably been split down the middle and reassembled, he overheard some talk about a crime while he was walking through the clearing, a reactivated character standing not far from Gillick’s screen was holding herself in an awkward position and Ugo Rondinone went to meet Philippe:

“We have all committed a crime, but I don’t know which one yet, the crime is probably metaphysical, it has something to do with lived time, with the time of memories as much as with the time of mental projection, I’ve heard people talk about temporal retroactions in which we are all involved.

— I don’t know, answered Philippe, personally all I’m doing here is killing time, and I know very well that I am treading someone else’s steps, but even so, this doesn’t mean that I’m in a closed universe, killing time is really the only 1 Translator’s note: the DS (pronounced ‘Déesse’ meaning ‘Goddess’) is the legendary Citroën car created in the 1950s.

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crime that I can claim to my name.

— No, I’m not sure that that is what it’s about, apparently in the castle there’s a person with a covered face, she always appears with her back to the light and it’s impossible to unmask her, she goes through doors without opening them, we all have some link to this person without knowing exactly what it is.

It may be the case that, as I’ve been told, it is a full and positive relationship at points, then turning negative and hollow at other points in our lives; I think I’m going to try and plant some cacti in the clearing, I’ll chose the ugliest ones to be sure that no-one picks them.”

The phenomenological discourse that at one point may have formed a framework for Dan Graham’s work has recently been crumbling apart. ‘The return to things themselves’, the classic phenomenological watchword that Martin Heidegger catches like a common cold from his master Husserl, forenamed Edmund, is, for a period, what Graham Dan’s constitutive diegesis is concerned with. Why? we might ask. The exhibition, with its conceptual basis, is built on a novel approach to artworks with recourse to the theory of games, thus leaving much to chance, that sees to the determination, the outcome of a number of games and posits a phenomenological relationship to things, to objects located in space. This relationship seeks to establish itself as first in the castle so that the experience of the look may be that made possible by the Husserlian époché, also known as a phenomenological reduction, that is to say: a perspective that has been rid of the evidence of the existence of elements that make up the world. At last, no more evidence—thus is the curator’s wish once one is inside the castle.

Chapter One

Preface Introduction The “As-If” and the castle of Chance (Az-Zahr) ..................

13

The copy ................................................................................

13

The labyrinth .........................................................................

14

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The axioms of diegetic space ................................................

16

Diegesis ..................................................................................

16

Departures .............................................................................

17

Things themselves .................................................................

18

Chapter One The path through the bushes ................................................

21

Paths that lead nowhere ........................................................

22

Bataille and the â&#x20AC;&#x153;outside-oneselfâ&#x20AC;? .........................................

22

The onthology of the game ...................................................

24

The system of un-knowledge ................................................

24

The archeology of decadence ...............................................

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The past norm .......................................................................

26

The ethics of ghosts ..............................................................

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The fourth dimension ...........................................................

29

The first crime .......................................................................

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The race .................................................................................

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The political novel ................................................................

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The philosophical novel ........................................................

34

Liam Gillick and the square ..................................................

36

N spaces .................................................................................

37

The running of the affect ......................................................

38

The modelization of the affect ..............................................

41

The screenplay ......................................................................

42

Politics ...................................................................................

43

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Chapter Two The clearing ..........................................................................

47

The square .............................................................................

48

Shakespeare and spirits in the notion of the forest ...............

49

The limits of the forest ..........................................................

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The author .............................................................................

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The six hands of the author ..................................................

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The name of the author ........................................................

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The mask ...............................................................................

55

The black hole .......................................................................

56

The narrated story .................................................................

58

The ethics of ghosts, bis ........................................................

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Haunting ................................................................................

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The mould of the ghost .........................................................

61

The mark ...............................................................................

62

Joy ..........................................................................................

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Infinity ...................................................................................

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Space itself .............................................................................

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The burden ............................................................................

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The place................................................................................

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Noise ......................................................................................

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The difference between haunting and hauntedness .............

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Fear ........................................................................................

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Chapter Three After Heidegger and the end of metaphysics ........................

70

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The circumference ................................................................

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Two worlds, one of them being the ideal ..............................

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Materialism ............................................................................

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Parallel worlds .......................................................................

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All possible worlds .................................................................

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The never-ending tower ........................................................

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The invisible object ...............................................................

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Projection ..............................................................................

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Cinema ...................................................................................

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Aristotleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s physics ...................................................................

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Galilean reversal ....................................................................

95

Copernicus .............................................................................

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The inversion of values .........................................................

99

The second mathematical revolution ...................................

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Two parallel lines intersect at infinity ...................................

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Halâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s song ...............................................................................

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The concept of temporality after the end of History ............

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Stories ....................................................................................

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History ...................................................................................

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Historical materialism ...........................................................

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Critical materialism ...............................................................

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Deictics ..................................................................................

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Language games ....................................................................

118

Persuasion analysis ................................................................

119

Spin-doctors ..........................................................................

120

Microsoft ...............................................................................

121

The thought from outside .....................................................

121

Indecision ..............................................................................

122

The seducer ...........................................................................

127

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bis bald, weiter so ! bis dann und wann, well, ciao, arrivederci, mit herzlichen grüßen, bis bald ich melde mich, czüs, bis die nächsten tage soso, a bientot - bis auf weiteres, mit freundlichen grüßen, bello ciao ... sorry, vielen dank im voraus, ich melde mich, oder vielleicht am dienstag später bis bald, danke. etwas kompliziert, aber o.k. im übrigen, danke für die nachfrage, eilt es denn ?? so viel ganz kurz, ach ja : p.s.: antwort eilt, freue mich aber auch über jede news. danke, ciao, bis bald. liebe grüße auf jeden fall: wenn sich keine alternative - berlin oder wien - auftuen sollte, bestätigen wir gerne bis auf weiteres den von ihnen genannten ort und zeitpunkt. vielen dank, könnten wir uns anfang august treffen, ab 5. vielleicht, bis dahin bin ich beinahe nicht in der lage, und es läuft uns ja auch nicht davon. adieu, ein nervenzerissener. viel glück, vielleicht können in kontakt bleiben bis morgen und dann mehr. bis ende september! adio, jetzt hat sich, wie wohl jedesmal, meine zeitplanung nach hinten verschoben: also gibt es, wenn es in diesen knappen zwei tagen für dich nicht paßt, dann noch mitte september. vielleicht freitag nachmittag ? gib doch kurze antwort, bis dann. sincerly, also ist noch etwas zeit. hast du schon eine idee? vielen dank, also laß wieder mal was hören, alles gute, das wäre eine gute 72

gelegenheit. grazie, mail on, bis bald, seid ihr einverstanden? da bin ich einfach nicht erfahren genug. tut mir leid, werde dich aber telefonisch zu erreichen versuchen. schöne grüße, es ist nicht zu spät, bis ende september sollte alles da sein, gruß call me if you like, viel glück, bis bald, ich freue mich von dir zu hören, ob ich manche felder im hirn so bald aktivieren kann, weiß ich nicht. ich würde ja schon arg gerne dabei sein ... ach, menno. voilá ma chere amie; tes briefkasten-cles sont runtergerutscht par une seltsame zufall in dás klebepapier auf innenseite von wohnungstür. ansonsten - ich hoffe es geht dir bestens - verbleibe ich bis hoffentlich bald fein, euch zu treffen, was macht ihr denn? ich ruf dich auf jeden fall mittwoch oder donnerstag (13., 14.

10.) an. oder probiers doch du, die ganze woche noch vormittags bis 11h. hoffe es klappt... blöd, ich muß von freitag bis sonntag arbeiten und komm außer zum schlafen höchstens abends mal ein zwei stunden an die freiheit. lets meet trotzdem if possible: ich freue mich immer sehr dich zu sehen! avanti, und verbleibe heute... sollten wir uns einmal treffen, vielleicht in london oder brindisi. ich wollte sagen, meine schweigsamkeit war keineswegs absicht, sondern den umständen geschuldet, es ging mir nicht gerade blendend und ich hatte keine kraft und keinen kopf. ab jetzt wird alles anders. meine haltung

dazu ist: es interessiert mich sehr eure meinung zu hören.

hochachtungsvoll kurzer gruß ans andere ende der welt

die stimmung bessert sich bei mir gerade deutlich, da treffen wir uns dann, o.k.? das wär doch was. herzliche grüße. das schönste, das schönste, das schönste. ja und wenns was gibt, du weißt schon, jes. du, bis bald, machs gut, fais bien. eine schwere entscheidung steht mir da bevor. eine sehr interessante und lehrreiche, aber auch etwas haarige angelegenheit. naja, abwarten, ob es auch was wird, ach ja eines wollte ich noch sagen: wenn man alt werden will, mit anderen alten, wuerde man sich ja auch doch eher ein hotel oder ein casino imaginieren als ein bureau?

the birds are singing and i go crazy about that sound alles liebe lets meet auch tagsüber würde mich freuen grazie, that´s it, machs gut, bis samstag, ruf halt an, naja, kisses, heute ist so ein tolles wetter in berlin, wunderbar klar und das licht macht scharfe konturen ...alles gute, bis bald, ich melde mich sobald ich genaueres weiß! ich hoffe du bist guter dinge, ruf doch an, falls du nach hause gehst, wenn du tagsüber mal 5 minuten zeit hast wäre das perfekt, also: ruf mich doch bitte morgen dienstag morgens, mittags an - ich probiers dann noch mal bei dir, ansonsten bist du ja schwer zu erreichen, ruf einfach an, ich freue mich sehr herzlichen gruß, ich bin krank und schwacho (grippe, schnupfen, alles wird mir gerade leicht zuviel), rechne bitte nicht allzustark mit mir, seufz, das gefällt mir, wenn die dinge so schnell gehen!

meine gedanken kreisen, ich habe nicht den geringsten magnetismus auf andere menschen (sie flüchten mich), meine krankenkasse zahlt keine kontaktlinsen und keine psychoanalyse. muß ich selber zahlen, soll ich. weiß nicht. da heute schon spät geworden nur dieses bis später adieu. laß uns mal wieder was machen, wenn du überhaupt dir das vorstellen kannst. habe meine abneigung gegen das elektronische mittlerweile abgelegt. minipartikel staubschütteln bis bald in der erinnerung eine sehr melancholische arbeit, tw. mit todessymbolik versetzt, naja. si, si, schlag doch was vor, wie wann. alles gute, ich bitte sie daher, diese regierung nicht anzugeloben.

cooles kaugummi-tatoomotiv also eher ganz einfach, reduziert und leicht zu verstehen, fast schon ein hinweis auf den frühling. oder zwei frösche beim degenfechten. wenn ich noch eine erleuchtung hab, ruf ich dich auf jeden fall an. bin ich eigentlich die einzige person mit der du rechnest? wir telefonieren! herzlichen gruß aber grundsätzlich die richtung, wenn du verstehst, was ich meine...

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schau mal das an und ruf mich doch an please...something like one small sequence that hopefully illustrates what i am concerned with... well i have to go now, thank you for your patience, good luck, am besten wäre es natürlich bald, freitag, samstag oder sonntag... gib mir doch bescheid, ich würde mich sehr freuen! wenn nicht, ist es nicht tragisch, bis bald! baci, bin leider kein interessent für hydrogeologische fragestellungen mit herzlichen grüßen laß dir zeit, sonst aber ruf an - und wir treffen uns! adieu, bis bald, warum heimweh, hier zieht sich alles in die länge, und so ergehen wir uns in schnupfen und müßiggang. alles liebe! und bis bald, wenn du zurückkommst, o.k.? gute reise, hoffe es klappt, und ich komm dann auch noch vorbei, machs gut, heute abend. bis dann, tut mir leid, ehrlich. ich weiß auch nicht wie wir das machen sollen, o.k. with m.e. sollen wir morgen schwimmen gehen? wie gehts? hast du zeit? sollen wir uns mal wieder treffen? grüße! ach wie ich euch beneide hier schneit es und ihr fährt mit dem cabrio. eine gute idee! und viel spaß bis bald und lieben gruß da freu ich mich aber wirklich, nach ca. drei monaten unterbeschäftigung eine willkommene abwechslung... es fiel mir auch schwer mich sozusagen “still” zu beschäftigen die letzten monate, es gibt einfach keine hübschen billigen dinge, leider muß ich schon aufbrechen, alles liebe bis, bis bald!!! ich schreibe dir wieder sobald 74

ich wieder luft habe! ab dienstag bis wahrscheinlich inclusive kommendes wochenende, es könnte also mit der zeit knapp werden. comme ci comme ca alle verreisen: bongiorno ansonsten gerne, ruf mich doch am handy an, gruß vielen dank für deine begeisternden tips, eine kurze anmerkung habe ich dennoch aber wahrscheinlich berührt das nur eine besondere sensibilität meinerseits, herzlichen gruß, - und bis bald! einen schönen gruß, aber wer kann denn schon mal so schnell nach ny fliegen? schönen gruß, und bis dienstag, nicht nur deshalb. auf alle fälle kann ich dir helfen na dann come on, wir könnten einen cafe trinken this would be nice und außerdem ist das wetter 1a. ein allgemeines “was auch immer”, das sich bei genauerer betrachtung sowieso immer in ambitionierte einzelunternehmungen auflöst... ja, fein, freue mich auch! arrivederci das mindeste, wenns auch vorher nicht möglich war. gut, machs oder sprich wies geht... viel glück und erfolg noch, trotzdem wäre ich froh, wenn du mir erklären könntest wie das zu bewerkstelligen ist. sonntag: hervorragend, wie wärs mit nachmittags um halb 5 ? (sehr einfallsreich...) adieu, thank you very much unser loch ist schon geflickt, soweit, complicated but easy, ... einen lieben gruß vielen dank und gutes gelingen! sehr beeindruckend und biblisch monumental, und bis bald, ciao,

schönen gruß, und im mai im mai fahr ich nach wien und dann gehn wir in prater und aus, versprichst du mir? sollen wir nicht doch noch einen tapeten anlauf starten? mittwoch, freitag? you go, we go. sonntag montag dienstag. muchos bacos doch, gern, und so dumm können wir doch nicht sein, in freundschaft und mit liebe aha. vielen dank noch ! bis dann, lets meet morgen um 2, singen? tanzen? hula hopp? warum nicht ? hier die neuesten good news: bye bye now viele grüße o.k. freu mich schon mit freundlichem gruß hallo, das ist doch was für euch. was machst du denn. wie gings denn weiter? good luck und was man gerne möchte... (plus: wo schlafen) machs gut ist auch schwierig zu entscheiden, next time next try, ich bin auch am überlegen, und für den fall des falles lets call together herzl. grüße, ja, nun, ich bin leider ganz und gar unsicher, ob wir alle überhaupt zeit haben werden. va bene, yes, tiger ,so könnte man es nennen... bin grad vom baden zurück liebe grüße rufst du mich mal an? weil: wir sind betroffen und es ist gefährlich gewesen. in einer welt von geistern. und schreibst mir und wir überlegen uns was. ansonsten: schönen gruß und alles gute draußen rauscht die straße, super daß du das gelesen hast, was du schreibst klingt ja ungewöhnlich schreib mir doch wenn du was weißt good night du klangst einfach anders wish you well

bis dann. gut, nö? es geht grad ganz gut, habe etwas hunger. fänd ich schön, wenn wir uns mal wieder treffen könnten, gruß, bis samstag, ruf noch mal an! sorry, ich muss passen, wenn ich was höre melde ich mich! bis bald, ruf mich doch bitte an, damit wir das mit dem schlüssel vereinbaren können... (und ich eventuell jemand anderes fragen kann) bis denne hier ist es irgendwie auch schön. freu mich schon, bis bald viele grüße und da wars auch schon vorbei. hier ist großer sommer mit fahrradfahren, schwimmen, auf der straße sitzen, ozon, musik. fais bien, thank you, ja, da hast du recht, da bin ich auch nicht dabei, macht aber nichts, finde ich, ganz schön viel schon da für den anfang. mehr von meiner seite und auch eigene vorschläge demnächst, jetzt geh ich erst mal in die charite. ich kam so 10 minuten zu spät, weil ich zuerst in die falsche straße eingebogen war, und hab dann gewartet. und sms, das steckt ja noch in den kinderschuhen, wie man sieht, das ist ja sozusagen noch baby. einen lieben gruß hast du morgen mal zeit best wishes machet jut sommer = wie winter wo bist du denn komm wir verabreden uns montags um halb zehn och vielen dank wenn du mich morgen anrufst bis bald hier ein kleines bild zur aufheiterung, ciao, 75

nach polen zu fahren, mit euch würd ich ja gern. tell me more about the [...] [T]s and the [...]s. der wind war warm ein mann wurde geschlagen auf der straße, der durfte da nicht sitzen, dann sind wir hingegangen und haben gefragt, was da los ist, heller nachmittag. ansonsten ist hier alles beim alten und kein stein auf dem anderen, bis bald und alles gute! ein ausgeglicheneres verhältnis anzustreben... (die richtigen worte zu finden...) herzlichen gruß oily waves regenbogen gewitter einen lieben gruß yours sincerely a vous avec beaucoup. dieses leben kann nicht die ausrede für das nächste sein, ja, wir müssen uns treffen. ein gruß, hello how are you creative mit K, however, ein auftrag ohne auftrag, c’est ca my friends. ach, ihr wilden, unser leben ist so traurig. (der stern leuchtet) weil, nämlich, das steht nicht in der zeitung. ach nee. ansonsten: nichts weniger hab ich von dir erwartet! congratulazione, auf ein wiedersehen, treffen wir uns dort, morgen donnerstag um halb 1 ich bin da, ich hoffe ok. viele grüße melde dich wo du bist bitte. wir machen uns sehr große sorgen bitte gib bescheid wenn du kannst wir machen uns große sorgen hier in berlin melde dich wo du bist bitte ich melde mich montags und bespreche mich mit dir, wenn du zeit hast. alles gute, respect, anyway...

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i don´t know you at all and you don´t know me at all. dont feel lonely you are not lost at all turn up the light. wenn wieder luft ist, aber noch einmal nicht treffen möchte ich dich nicht, wish u well, einen lieben gruß. finally it turned into something like industrial food. thanks for your nerves, vielleicht können wir uns treffen? einen gruß wo seid ihr denn : mexiko, burgenland? was is los und warum? was gibts zum mittagessen? vielleicht sitzt du ja gerade in monte carlo im casino aber das glaub ich nicht so richtig. mail back if you like, einen lieben gruß good luck and thank you again, aber wir werden das schon schaffen, davon bin ich überzeugt. ich sende dir erst mal einen lieben gruß. venceremos! bitte geben sie mir bescheid, was ich noch beachten muß, ansonsten, vielen dank im voraus good bye, naja. so war das. eine freundlichen gruß und alles gute, bis bald alles gute, kannst du mich bitte immediate anrufen? bloß dieses eine mal? many thanks for your support again, adieu mit freundlichen grüßen, ja, laß uns mal treffen, würde mich freuen, mal sehen. man muss auch wieder zu kräften kommen. einen lieben gruß einstweilen, auch ein stimmengewirr. anyway, machs gut, und ich würd mich freuen, wenn wir uns mal vielleicht treffen könnten, vielleicht tagsüber, are you there, finally, are you fine? irgendwie hab ich das nicht richtig mitgekriegt,

worum es da gehen sollte. naja, bis dann und vielen dank auf jeden fall, greetings bongiorno bye bye ich hoffe es geht dir gut adieu ich halte dich auf dem laufenden... bis bald, laß doch was hören in den nächsten tagen, ob oder wie... ich würd dich gern anrufen, aber ich hab keine nummer va bene bis morgen grüße ach so bis morgen war nur, weil ich wahrscheinlich gestern abend nicht viel weiter gedacht habe, es war schon fast morgen grüße, bis bald halloknallo kannst du auch? wenn nicht macht nicht so viel, dann ein anderes mal diese woche, gruß. i hope we meet again soon.., but i´m sure about that. good luck wo ist dein h und dein e geblieben? the only thing about all that is, we should know from you in the next two weeks, if, best wishes. just read again what we wrote, and (we) wanted to type you can do what you want, not: you can do what we want. best wishes again, ich hoffe du bist wohlauf alles liebe vielleicht haben wir mal zeit auf einen kaffee, viel glück, grüße, wish you every thing oder hast du auch noch eine idee, wie man da kommunizieren kann? see you soon, grüße, adieu ich glaube ich freu mich sehr, ja gerne, auf die frage, einen lieben gruß, lets telefone mach einen spaziergang am beethovenweg wenn du kannst, mein tip. glaubst du auch: venceremos ! ich schon. anyway, einen lieben gruß, vielleicht kommst du auch am samstag

wieder, gruß, ein kuß aus der ferne, monate fliegen vorbei, kannste mal klingeln, wenn du zeit hast (was für ein satz, ist das berlin?) was machst du gerade, und hast du eine idee? das klappt normalerweise immer. ansonsten, alles beim alten, gruß gib doch bescheid! auf ein wiedersehen freut sich, ich danke noch mal für dein angebot und deine unterstützung, aber mir sind da jetzt leider die hände gebunden. alles gute, bis morgen, dann, alles gute, nice to meet you, really, avanti ! alles liebe, uff, aber wie denn, und wo wann, einen lieben gruß schick ich nach dir, und wollt nochmal fragen have a good time greetings va bien signora naja, finito, und einen gruß, thank you ja, schreib doch mal, ich würd eh gern mal wieder tanzen gehen.. alles gute und grüße auf jeden fall: machs gut und rühr dich, wenn du was weißt! ich rechne damit, daß all dies noch vor jahresende erfolgt, und wir damit einen wichtigen bestandteil unseres lebens auf materieller ebene bewältigt haben! greetings, (and have a nice horrorous halloween!), b.b., vielen dank und bis bald, ich gebe bescheid. gruß alles liebe, und laßt euch nicht deprimieren! au revoir, und so ist alles beim alten. bis bald, will we really try to meet again ? einen schönen gruß na ja, machs gut und bis bald, trotzdem, bitte nimm mir das nicht 77

übel, aber es ist gerade etwas viel vorbei im moment.. gruß aber vielleicht freitag oder samstag, fänd ich toll, if you can or like. gute reise, grüße have a good time, bye bye, bin für alles zu haben, finde nichts unmöglich, ich geb auf jeden fall bescheid, gruß und bis bald, ich muß jetzt leider zum zug, weiteres gegen wochenende, bis bald und viel glück ciao, malst du noch ? is this you sitting in the photo? greetings schönen gruß thank you! ich bin am sonntag wieder weg, aber wenn du lust hast, lets meet! einen lieben gruß, das waren noch zeiten... gruß, und dann gehen wir mal einen cafe trinken, ehrenwort. man sollte demonstrieren, vielleicht allerdings nicht auf der straße. fucking medien: fernsehen ist unbrauchbar, etc... thank you i wish you well, sehen wir uns mal, fänd ich gut, adieu, greetings from a cold but not unfriendly city, sehr günstig mit mir! einen gruß, ich melde mich dann, gruß und kuß, einen lieben und geordneten gruß, vielen dank, bonjour! seid nicht traurig wir sind auf eurer seite, gruß, mittwoch ist perfekt. nachmittags... hast du rat oder hilfe, ich wäre sehr dankbar. gruß, also wir treffen uns um 15 uhr bis 19 uhr, kommste? yes, baby, very good sehr gut, guck mal ich hab was: the sun is shining. laß einfach hören, wie du das findest!

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ansonsten: langsam gehts voran. va bene, hast du was zu zeigen, laß was hören und einen gruß, bis bald, und vielen dank noch mal. ja, mittwoch, rufen wir uns zusammen (wie man in ö sagt) und einen gruß, und nicht umgekehrt! ich hab mich sehr gefreut, greetings, danke, scheint morgen die sonne? gruß, und bald noch mehr, gruß, fais bien, ach ja, laßt euch noch zeit, das geht auch noch nächste woche. ich meine ich hab nicht genug dazu gesagt, aber es ist ein bißchen so von gestern nach heute und morgen, und heute ist schon wieder gestern. schade daß wir uns heute nicht mehr getroffen haben, aber wer geht denn bei so einem wetter überhaupt noch raus. ein gruß, aber starte doch schon mal im freiflug: und bis bald, viele grüße, und ob du noch kopfschmerztabletten hast. ach ja, und einen lieben gruß, kommste auch vorbei? gruß, bald mehr, war lustig das tanzen... gruß. freundschaft! ich ruf auf jeden fall noch an. anyway, ich hab mich darüber gefreut, und wollte sagen, keep going, einen gruß, ich rufe an, sorry, und alles alles gute, please call us. um es nicht allzu kompliziert zu machen. einen gruß und laß uns in kontakt bleiben, sonst ruf einfach durch, thank you, greetings and all the best, einen lieben gruß, krazy kat. gruß, (bin jetzt für 1 woche verreist) einen schönen

53

54

55

53) Arafat 56 54) Rice 57 55) Abbas 56) Master 57) Her masterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s voice.

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58

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58) Fred Stiller (Klaus Löwitsch) zu dem ihm zugewiesenen Bodygard El Hedi ben Salem geäusserten Gedanken in Anlehnung an Aristotoles’ Theorie, daß Materie als passive Nichtsubstanz nur durch Denken Realität produziert. In Welt am Draht, zweiteiliger Fernsehfilm von Rainer Werner Fassbinder, 1973.

59) Selbstlernendes Statement.

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Lanbanguabagebe phrabaseobolobogyby speebeech tonbonguebe linbingobo vebernabacubulabar mobotheber tonbonguebe kinbingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Enbenglibish diabialebect broboguebe pabatoibois ibidiobom slanbangyby conbonfubusionbon obof tonbonguebes, Bababebel ubunibivebersabal lanbanguabagebe Ebespeberanbantobo Ibidobo panbantobomibimebe dumbumb shobow libiteberabatuburebe lebettebers bebellebes-lebettrebes mubusebes hubumabanibitibies rebepubublibic obof lebettebers deabead lanbanguabagebes clabassibics ebexprebess sabay ebexprebess byby wobords pobolybyglobot linbinguibistibic diabialebectabal vebernabacubulabar bibilinbinguabal libiteberabaryby cobolloboquiabial Lebetteber chabarabacteber hieberoboglybyphibic abalphababebet AbaBebeCebe conbonsonbonanbant vobowebel

dibiphthonbong suburd sobonanbant libiquibid lababiabial pabalabatabal ceberebebrabal denbentabal cobodebe gubuttuburabal sybyllabablebe mobonobosybyllabablebe dibissybyllabablebe pobolybysybyllabablebe prebefibix subuffibix cibipheber wobord teberm vobocabablebe nabamebe phrabasebe rooboot deberibivabatibivebe inbindebex globossabaryby dibictiobionabaryby lebexibicobon ebetybymobolobogyby phibilobolobogyby tebermibinobolobogyby veberbiabiagebe loboquabacibityby tranbanslabatebe nobomebenclabatuburebe debesibignabationbon mibisnobomeber mabalabaprobopibism Mrs. Mabalabaprobopobos nobomibinabal tibitubulabar cobognobomeben pabatrobonybymibic tibitlebe mibisnabamebe mibiscaball nibicknabamebe tabakebe aban abassubumebed nabamebe mibisnabamebed sobo caballebed sebelf sebelf-stybylebed ibidiobom mebetabaphobor 81

senbentenbencebe proboveberb mobottobo phrabaseobeolobogyby eubeuphebemibism pabarabagrabaph byby thebe cabard grabammabar eberrobor blunbundeber dibictiobon sobolebecibism synbyntabactibicabal abanabalybysibis nabamebelebess slibip obof thebe tonbonguebe abappebellabationbon heabeadibing gibibbeberibish dobog Labatinbin Hieberoboglybyphibic neobeolobogibism wobord coiboneber abargobot bibillinbingsgabatebe pibidgibin Enbenglibish oborthobograbaphyby tebermibinobolobogyby thebesaubaurubus cibipheber.

Robobebert Smibithsobon, Aba Heabeap obof Lanbanguabagebe, 1966 Posted in Art In 1979, after the closing of his bookstore “Other Books and So”, Ulises Carrión, in a text entitled “An End and a Beginning”*, The text illustrates the conflict between working as an individual and through what he calls symptomatically an “institution”, a sort of impersonal thing that has a name... Carrión 82

describes it as a sort of screen, not to protect nor to cover oneself, but to take a distance from the artist as a person: “You are someone who is not acting with your own name but with, for instance, Other Books and So. (...) you cease being a person, I mean an individual, who is doing a certain work only in his name.

You become an institution, a social body that works among other social bodies. You’re not an artist, but you are a gallery. Or you are as a gallery.

Or you are a bookshop.” * Ulises Carrión, An End and a Beginning, in Umbrella, Vol.2 nr.5, Glendale, 1979. Reproduit dans Judith A. Hoffberg (Ed.), Umbrella: The Anthology, Umbrella Editions, Santa Monica, 1999, p. 22-24.

Johannes Porsch a like A 336 p., 147 x 210 mm.

(This book is) a good book, in order to let the truth be in its aberration, (...) a book in which linguistic time (the time in which signification develops, the time of reading) would itself be deconstructed; a book that the reader could take up at any point

and in any order, a book for grazing. (...)

This book is not a good book, it still stands in signification, it is not an artist’s book, (is it not an artist’s book) deconstruction does not operate in it directly, it is signified. (deconstructiont does operate in it directly,) (still it is signified.)

(A / a) book of philosophy thereby.

Certainly the signification is fragmentary, there are lacunae and, I hope, rebuses.

Nevertheless that only makes for an uncertain object, which I should like to be able to call, (in order to excuse it) AND Publishing (GB) art&fiction (CH) Boabooks (CH) Boekie Woekie (NL) Coracle press (IRL) dasein (CH) Editions 75 (F) Edition Fink (CH) Editions Nord (JPN) Greatest Hits (D) Héros-limite (CH) Incertain Sens (F) Innen zine (HUN) JRP-Ringier (CH) Mark Pezinger Verlag (D) microédition HEAD-Genève (CH) Nieves (CH) Occasional Papers (GB) OMMU (GRC) Westphalie Verlag (AUT) Zédélé Editions (F)

a/A 15 x 21 cm, 536 pages, 2008-2010 Johannes Porsch [Westphalie Verlag] Das Beiwerk 15 x 21 cm, 96 pages, 2010 Thoenen, le kou Meyr [Westphalie Verlag] PUBLISH AND BE DAMNED at ICA, London 17 March 2012, 8 -12 pm Institute of Contemporary Arts The Mall, London SW1Y 5AH KW Institute for Contemporary Arts Auguststraße 69 D-10117 Berlin 25.

– 27.11.2011 Opening Party in Café Bravo: Friday, 25.11.2011, 6–12 pm Opening hours Friday, 25.11.2011, 3–9 pm Saturday, 26.11.2011, 3–9 pm Sunday, 27.11.2011, 12–7 pm A Prior Magazine, Gent | Afterall, London | AKV Berlin, Berlin | AND Publishing, London | Anita Di Bianco, New York/Berlin | Apparent Extent, Köln | Archive Books, Berlin | argobooks, Berlin | Art Metropole, Toronto | Automatic Books, Venedig | b_books, Berlin | ballabella papers, Berlin | Bartleby & Co., Brüssel | Bedford Press, London | Boabooks, Genf | BOM DIA BOA TARDE BOA NOITE, Berlin | Brinkmann & Bose, 83

Inside cover: Tanja Widmann, To Make Oneself Similar in this Sense, 2008, videostills.

Back cover: Rudie H. Kuiter, Seepferdchen, Seenadeln, Fetzenfische und ihre Verwandten (Seahorses, Pipefishes and Their Relatives: A Comprehensive Guide to Syngnathiformes), Ulmer Verlag, Stuttgart 2001.

Constanze Schweiger, Timid, kind and restless, acrylic on canvas, 60 x 60 cm, 2005. From the series Character Studies, 2005-06. pp. 4-96: Francisco Ibañez, Clever & Smart - 2. Auflage Nr.37, Condor Verlag, Bad Vilbel - Frankfurt, 1985. pp. 4-16, 34-46, 66-80: Color stripes after: Margaret Walch, Color Source Book, Charles Scribner’s Sons, New York 1979. pp. 27-33: Mary Kelly, Experimentum Mentis II, in: Mary Kelly, Post-Partum Document, University of California Press, Berkeley/Los Angeles/London 1999, p. 92. pp. 33-37: Mary Kelly, Experimentum Mentis III, in: op. cit., p. 99. pp. 39-49: Mary Kelly, Experimentum Mentis VI, in: op. cit., pp. 188-189.

To Make Oneself Similar in this Sense OUCH! OUUUUUCH! OUUUUUCH! That was Fred!

OW! It’s just been fun so far! But now I’m going to crush you! I’m like a wild beast!

GRRRRRRRR! So! Enough fun and games! He, he! Now I’m going to secure my right to the winnings! For good!

Here I am, boss! Like a lightning bolt, right? He, he! Jeff will be here soon too.

But first, he has to pry off the cabinet that fell on his head.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I’LL SHOW YOU! LETTING THE HEAVY CABINET FALL ON MY HEAD! GRRRRRRRRRR! Now calm down, Jeff! You wanted me to…

Cover: Francisco Ibáñez, Clever & Smart - Comic-Taschenbuch Nr.39, Condor Verlag, Bad Vilbel, 1984.

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To Make Oneself Similar in this Sense Just what you said: “Drop everything.” I just happened to have a little dish of nitroglycerin…

And it went “Boom,” right? Look out, now it’s going to go “Crack” and your hollow head…

But Jeff! My “unconditional obedience”…

It says here: “Use Entrance PIG-3-Z. You won’t stand out in the crowd!

That must be over there somewhere!

BROM! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ho, ho, ho, ho! I’m splitting my sides! I’m coming apart at the seams! Hihihihihihihihihihi!

To Make Oneself Similar in this Sense ALAAAAARM! Clever and Smart have escaped! Capture them! Immediately!

Phew! They sure need a lot of time! Five hours have passed already…!

We have them, boss! They headed north!

So what? That’s no reason to keep me waiting for so long.

A MATTER OF SUPER-AWESOME STRENGTH FREDDDD! Mister L wants to speak to us! So drop everything and come here.

It’s very URGENT! Right away, Jeff!

BABOOM 85

What the devil have you done?

To Make Oneself Similar in this Sense Gentlemen! I have a mission that is worthy of a top agent…

Unfortunately, all my top agents are on vacation, so I have to give the mission to you. Well, that’s all right. It’s about… …secretly infiltrating the ENEMY’S headquarters and purloining some plans…

Ha, ha! What’s so dangerous about that? We’ve often infiltrated the enemy’s headquarters.

It’s not the mission itself that’s dangerous. The risk lies in this invention of Dr. Bakterius’s, which should help you…

Confound it! Where are they? They were just…

To Make Oneself Similar in this Sense about the film?

Hmm, I think it’s funny that you sometimes have these pauses before you continued talking ...

Anything else?

No. There he is… that headhunter! Step on it, Gustav. We can’t let that maniac…

What, have you gone even crazier? Stop it, man! STOP IT! NO! I want to FINALLY have my melon! BABOOM! YUCK! That melon must have been rotten! Only a bunch of black ink stuff came out!

CLEVER & SMART “Barely digested – and the stealing begins!”

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CONTENTS Part One

Wie es ist

Part Two

Fundamentalisten d.

Aufkl.

Part Two

Demokratisches

Element Part Three

An A/a Parade

Part Three

Sing this Song

Part Three

Daddy is Dead Daddy

Said Part Three

Eine feine Säure

Part Four

Karnevalisten

betrachten Part Four

Grün als Farbe

Part Five Grammatik

des Ornaments Part Six

die Alphabetische

Ordnung abécédé Part Seven

Kristallstrukturen

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Part Nine

Fabrikansicht

Part Ten

Teil f체r Ganzes, Loch

Part Ten

Ausschlussfiguren

Part Ten Integration und eine

Wiederkehr And

A/a Return Part Eleven

In the Order of

Appearance

samples

Act/ Scene soll zun채chst als Annonce contents

Act/ Scene samples

Act/ Scene contains the following samples contents

Act/ Scene 88

contents

human things and how wonderful to her Death itself becomes transmuted into Life so that political institutions which in other lands seem above all things intensely artificial with (A/a) seem to possess the divine nature of a natural law for the most mighty of nature’s laws is this that out of Death she brings Life2

Act/ Scene

Act/ Scene

call my name

contents

samples

wie Blasen in einer Schöpfbütte steigen in unseren Städten Familien auf und zerplatzen wieder denn tatsächlich wirkt das demokratische Element bei uns wie eine feine Säure unablässig bringt es Neues hervor indem es das Alte zersetzt ganz so wie (...) der Grünspan der Ausgangsstoff für ein bestimmtes Grün hergestellt wird indem man Kupferplatten mit Weinessig übergießt nun kann im allgemeinen nichts den Verfall besser verdeutlichen als der Begriff der Zersetzung andererseits aber kann nichts uns eine sinnfälligere Vorstellung von praller Lebensfülle geben als die Farbe Grün ist doch das Grün Siegel der stets fruchtbaren Natur selbst aus dieser treffenden Analogie erkennen wir die besondere Eigentümlichkeit (A/a) dessen Wesen mißverstanden wird was uns nicht wundern muß wenn wir bedenken wie befremdlich es allen früheren

samples

Act/ Scene call my name

in our cities families rise and burst like bubbles in a vat for indeed the democratic element operates as a subtile acid among us forever producing new things by corroding the old as in the south of france verdigris the primitive material of one kind of green paint, is produced by grape-vinegar poured upon copper plates now in general nothing can be more significant of decay than the idea of corrosion yet on the other hand nothing can more vividly suggest luxuriance of life than the idea of green as a color for green is the peculiar signet of all-fertile Nature herself herein by apt analogy we behold the marked anomaly of (A/a) whose character abroad we need not be surprised, is misconceived, when we consider how strangely she contradicts all prior notions of

107

In 1979 Aa__us Who says Aa, also says us By the early 1950s, Lacan’s concept of the mirror stage had evolved: he no longer considered the mirror stage as a moment in the life of the infant, but as representing a permanent structure of subjectivity, or as the paradigm of “Imaginary order”.

Bookstores specializing in artists’ books were founded, usually by artists, including Ecart in 1968 (Geneva), Other Books and So in 1973 (Amsterdam), Art Metropole in 1974 (Toronto) and Printed Matter in New York (1976). All of these also had publishing programmes over the years, and the latter two are still active today.

Steve Turner Contemporary is pleased to present Group Shows, an exhibition by Brian Kennon.

Group Shows is comprised of two bodies of work. The first, entitled Group Shows, is a series of “printsas-exhibitions” in which each print combines and arranges images of artworks by various artists (along side the occasional non-artwork) to create a group exhibition “curated”

by Kennon. The second body of work, untitled, uses found images and graph-generating websites for a 108

series of prints that use the grid for both structure and content.

129. Man Ray. Couverture pour Bolaffiarte. Lettera «R». Riproduz. fotolitografica in 3 colori offset.

Dalla dichiarazione a stampa a tergo dell’opera: “Autorizzata da Man Ray l’apposizione della sua firma su 5.000 esemplari, numerati da 1 a 5.000 […] come da verbale di constatazione notarile del Notaio P. Roz per “BolaffiArte”.

Tali copie recano l’impronta del sigillo notarile e il timbro a secco di garanzia dell’Editore”. Num. a tergo: Bolaffiarte - Es. n. 4822. cm 30x24. € 100-150 (MAN RAY) (PAOLINI, GIULIO) (BOLAFFIARTE). Man Ray & Giulio Paolini. BOLAFFIARTE N. 31, ANNO IV: GIUGINO-LUGLIO 1973 - WITH ORIGINAL GRAPHICS BY MAN RAY AND GIULIO PAOLINI. Torino, ITALY: Bolaffi & Mondadori Editori, 1973. First Edition 1/5000. 4to.

Illustrated Wrappers. Periodical.

Very Good -. 136pp, profusely illustrated in color and b&w, with two original 11 3/4 x 9 1/4 inch graphic laid in. Text in Italian.

This is a copy of issue 31 of the Italian Arts magazine “BolaffiArte”.

Amongst the more interesting articles here are features on American Land Art (Michael Heizer and Robert Smithson) and Hippie Communes in the Southwest - both

January 30, 2008 Thursday, 1/31 NYS 4:20 LAT 3:52 NYT 3:42 CS 3:01 Circled letters refer to phrases that start with “break.” Paula Gamache has amassed seven theme phrases, 7 to 9 letters apiece, that “break” a word that follows break. The phrase WITS’ END breaks wind, as it were. EVIL QUEEN breaks even, and the other theme phrases break ranks, bread, free, open, and apart. Excellent theme in that each of the “break ___” phrases are all absolutely in-the-language, and the phrases that break the “___” words are sensational.

OPIUM DEN! RATFINKS! BRAIN-DEAD! Moving outside the theme, we are treated to YAO MING, NAPSTER, POMPEII (in the same puzzle as LAVA!), and some Scrabbly short answers. Favorite clues: [The hots] for LUST; [Grill] for QUIZ; [“Ich ___ dich” (German words of endearment)] for LIEBE (the phrase means “I love you”); [Satyric looks] for LEERS (not satiric); [“Well, ___!”] for LADIDA; and [Did a number] for SANG. I don’t think I’d ever seen ADELE clued as [___ Hugo, 1975 Isabelle Adjani role based on a real-life story]—that’s The Story of Adele H., which is semi-familiar. I have probably heard of ANDY [Granatelli of auto racing], but my antipathy for “motor sports” obliterated him and turned him into an EDDY at first.

Last night, I received an e-mail that said, “Lee Glickstein has a joy of a puzzle this Thursday in the Sun!” The title of Lee’s is “The Question,” and the titular question is TO B OR NOT TO B. The first two theme entries add a B to the beginning of each part, such that outlasts and landlubber become pugilistic BOUT BLASTS and [Unseasoned whale fat?], BLAND BLUBBER. (Ick!) The second pair opt for “not to B”: bread and butter and bad to the bone turn into READ AND UTTER and [Classified seeking a soulmate?], AD TO THE ONE. (My personal favorites are the BLUBBER and AD ones.) Favorite clues: [Got high] for ROSE (and I totally didn’t read that as “get stoned” while I was doing the puzzle]; [Paper mates?] for an ITEM mentioned in a tabloid; [Dec. tenths] for YRS (decade, not December); and [Sluggish] for TORPID (love both words!).

DUENNAS is a great word; it means [Spanish chaperones], with assorted nuances in various definitions.

Answers like KALAMAZOO and PEPE LE PEW are welcome in the crossword 109

regardless of the clue (well, unless the clue lauds Pepe for his sexual-harassing ways).

Updated: Barry Silk’s features five theme entries that begin with words that can precede the final Across answer, CASE. FEDERAL LAND’s a little dull, but the other theme entries are livelier, and all five yield lively “___ case” phrases. Basket case! Closet case! Nut case! Federal case! Hard case!

Ray Hamel’s “The Buck Stops Here,” has three phrases that begin with words that can follow buck (buck NAKED, buck SERGEANT, Buck OWENS) and... one phrase that’s a mystery to me. I know what a FEVER PITCH is, but what the heck is buck fever? Tapping into Google...let’s see: “Nervous excitement felt by a novice hunter at the first sight of game”? Ew. How unpleasant. Word Spy points out the heart attacks that may result, and cites a Sports Illustrated article entitled “Bambi’s Revenge.” Indeed.

Posted by Orange at 10:25 PM Labels: Barry C. Silk, Lee Glickstein, Paula Gamache, Raymond Hamel ....BBBB kunstbuero / Galerie Amer Abbas www.kunstbuero.at 11. Dezember 2009 – 10. Jänner 2010 Eröffnung am Donnerstag, den 10. Dezember, 19 – 21 Uhr H. – Ich werde versuchen a zu sagen, und Sie werden versuchen b zu sagen…

L. – ?

H. – a.

L. – b. (aus: Die Hose paßt wirklich ausgezeichnet, Lisa Holzer, Westphalie Verlag, 2007) B and I 110

B*, ....BBBB, Buchstaben, B-Löcher, Blick, Bild, Begehren, Beharren, betrachten, bezweifeln, Buttersemmerl, Bedeutung, Beginn, brrr, Buren, Beware!, Black Beauty, Befremden, B-Sprache, B-self, Bezeichnung, Beziehung, Bezüglichkeit, beschränkt, Bedingung, Beobachtung, Betonung, Beachtung, Berührung, Begabung, Besonnenheit, bewahren, Besorgnis, Belehrung, Brüderlichkeit, Bourgeoisie, Bestimmung, Belustigung, Beschimpfung, Behauptung, Bataille, Betrachtung, Bücher, Billy, Basics, Brioches, brühwarm, Beispiel, beliebig, B-Seite, bam oida, blond, blabla, blumig, Bienen, Bommel, Baer, Bananenfrühstück, benommen, brauchbar, Butzer, bunt, bunter Hund, Boheme, Balanciaga, basf-Kassetten, Bootleg, Böhmen, Backhenderl, Banalität, Blödsinn, bewußt, bitter, belanglos, Biest, Beute, bierernst, beinhart, Beine machen, bücken, Beckett, Bewegung, Begegnung, Brando, Blondie, Besuche, Briefe, Broodthaers, Beschäftigung, Bericht, Bon-mot, beladen, Begriffe, bescheuert, Brombeeren, bumpern, Balken, biegen, Blog, Bang Bang, bumm, bummeln, Biennale, Bühne, Basel, Bestätigung, Beurteilung, Beherrschung, brav, brutal, balancieren, Breakbeat, Bedenken, Bob Dylan, bang, basta, bäh, bitte, Bossy Burger, Barthes, Blues, Beschreibung, behüten, Black Block, Blow Up, Bernadette, Berlin, Bless, Bowie, Bonnie Prince Billy, Brandy, Baudelaire, Bunny, BarbieTisch, besetzt, berühmt, Brillo Box, Baseballmütze Maui, befangen, Buchholz, Bambushaare, Boom, Besitz, Bammel, Birnen, Benzin, Bahamas, bürgerlich, Bayer, Bayern, Brei, Bugs Bunny, Bad Boys, Bengel, B-Hörnchen, bespiegeln, beäugen, Bemühen, Barrieren, Bartleby, Bärte, Brillen, Biografie, Birdcalls, Beruf, Beschluß, Beteiligung, Beitrag, bizarr, besser, besonders, bekannt, betrunken, beliebt, böse, Börse, Brösel, billig, backen, bestehen, brauchen, bleiben, Back!, Bäcker, blasiert, besoffen, breit, brüllen, bellen, bissig, beide, betrunkene Bäcker, Bacardi, Brancusi, Bacardi’s Summer Dreamin’, BrancusiCenterfold, blau, blauäugig, beige, braun, Budweiser, Bier, Bombay Sapphire, Beefeater Dry, Bitte, B-Löcher Lieder, brummen, bezahlen, buchstäblich, Brötchengeber, Butterbrot, Butterschnitzel, Bi-bim-bab, Brezeln, brodeln, Blütenhonig, Brezellogik, Brownies, Brötchen, Bagel, Bonbons, Biscuits, Buchteln, Butterkeks, bio, Betthupferl, Bonität, Bagatellen, Bauchredner, Barbapapa, Besen, beißen, bodenlos, blöken, Bussi, baba, Bahnhof, bügeln, boxen, brennen, Barbecue, Bratwürstel, bestreben, bohren, Bereicherung, bestenfalls, Berge, Bernhard, Ballons, Branst, Breakfast News, Blade Runner, Blinis, Beitrag, Behaglichkeit, Burgenland, Bungalow, Bumerang, Barbara, Branquinho, besänftigen, Blasen, bröckeln, Butter vom Brot, brutto, bar, Balance, blödeln, Bilanzen, berechnend, bleigießen, beschönigen, behindern, 113

bloßstellen, begünstigen, Broker, bis, Boni, borgen, Büsche, Bad Banks, Böschung, Breakdance, blank, blass, beschädigt, bloßfüßig, basteln, begleichen, bedienen, bockig, Bestand, Bräunerhof, Bachmann, Bogart, begrüßen, bereitwillig, beinahe, Bäume, Begebenheit, Bogen, Bruch, Belohnung, beben, beruhigen, blenden, beabsichtigen, begründen, benennen, brüchig, Brauch, bemalte Semmeln, bemalte Bücher, Besoffene B-Löcher (Summer Dreamin’), Bricks-Paintings, bald, (Frisches) Blut, bahnbrechend, bravo, bemerken, Befinden, Bedürfnis, Bewunderung, Besprechung, Begeisterung, Befreiung, Bresche, Bedeutungsaufhebung, behände, besonnen, bereit, beginnen.

BWANCUSI VS. UNITED TATES, POOR PUDDY TAT Bwancusi, in his depotition made in Pawis, tated: «Hewwo, tis woik was made by me. I pewsonawwy took ta bwonze catt out of ta mol’.

Ta teme in bwonze is my vewy own invention and execution. Ta tecond wepwoduction is not yet fi nidhed. I cewtify tat no tecond bwonze vewtion of it exitts, now does ta woik exitt in mawbwe, ttone ow wood. Hewp.

Gwanni! Ta bwonze tat I tol’ is ta owidinal. I fi nidhed tis towe modew 114

in 1926. Aftew ta piece was catt, awl da woik was done wit my own hands, and da powishin’ was awso done by hand. Huwwy! Huwwy! No powishin’ machine ow any otew mechanicaw inttwument was uted fow tis. Come on, Puddy-tat... Kiss da wittle birdy!!»

Ta expewts fow ta dovewnment wewe two academics Amewican sculptows, Wobewt J. Aiken and Tomas H. Jones.

Aiken tettifi ed tat Bwancusi’s name was not known to him untiw 1921, and tat da Woumanian’s sculptuwes wewe not, to his way of tinkin’, woiks of awt. Jones, too, found ta “Biwd” wackin’ in tose quawities which his considewation conttitute a woik of awt. Ta populaw titwe of Bwancusi’s woik had been chanded fwom “Biwd in Space” to “Biwd in Fligh’”, and tis made fow fuwdaw obfuttation, tince it teemed tat da oppotin’ countew couwd not dwatp da idea of fligh’ witout vitibwe winds.

And awl twough ta heawin’, it teemed tat whenevew some fawfetched tatement was made by a witnett, tudboats in ta hawbow tooted exactwy wike a Bwonx cheew. Ta juddes kept ta cate undew advitement untiw Nov. 26, 1928, when tey wuwed tat da tettimony of a dwoup of expewts wedawdin’ da vawidity of a woik of awt made it acceptabwe as tuch. Accowdindwy, da fuwl amount of ta addetted duty I had been obwided to pay was wefunded to me. Tis hittowy-makin’, and much-pubwicized, wawsuit

BWANCUSI VS. UNITED TATES, POOR PUDDY TAT

Bwancusi, in his depotition made in Pawis, tated: «Hewwo, tis woik was made by me.

I pewsonawwy took ta bwonze catt out of ta mol’. Ta teme in bwonze is my vewy own invention and execution. Ta tecond wepwoduction is not yet nidhed. I cewtify tat no tecond bwonze vewtion of it exitts, now does ta woik exitt in mawbwe, ttone ow wood. Hewp. Gwanni! Ta bwonze tat I tol’ is ta owidinal. I nidhed tis towe modew in 1926. Aftew ta piece was catt, awl da woik was done wit my own hands, and da powishin’ was awso done by hand.

Huwwy! Huwwy! No powishin’ machine ow any otew mechanicaw inttwument was uted fow tis. Come on, Puddy-tat... Kiss da wittle birdy!!»

Ta expewts fow ta dovewnment wewe two academics Amewican sculptows, Wobewt J. Aiken and Tomas H. Jones. Aiken tettied tat Bwancusi’s name was not known to him untiw 1921, and tat da Woumanian’s sculptuwes wewe not, to his way of tinkin’, woiks of awt. Jones, too, found ta “Biwd” wackin’ in tose quawities which his considewation conttitute a woik of awt.

Ta populaw titwe of Bwancusi’s woik had been chanded fwom “Biwd in Space” to “Biwd in Fligh’”, and tis made fow fuwdaw obfuttation, tince it teemed tat da oppotin’ countew couwd not dwatp da idea of igh’ witout vitibwe winds.

And awl twough ta heawin’, it teemed tat whenevew some faw-fetched tatement was

made by a witnett, tudboats in ta hawbow tooted exactwy wike a Bwonx cheew.

Ta juddes kept ta cate undew advitement untiw Nov. 26, 1928, when tey wuwed tat da tettimony of a dwoup of expewts wedawdin’ da vawidity of a woik of awt made it acceptabwe as tuch. Accowdindwy, da fuwl amount of ta addetted duty I had been obwided to pay was wefunded to me.

Tis hittowy-makin’, and much-pubwicized, wawsuit ettabwished a pwecedent which is of pawamount impowtance to da wowl’ of modewn awt.

Edwawd Teichen, Bwancusi vs. United Tates, poor Puddy Tat! in Awt in Amewica, vowume 50, pp. 56-57, 1962.

[IDDN: 0004-3214] On ta occation of ta Awt in Amewica Annuaw Awawd, da wecipient, Mw. Teichen, made an impwomptu peech which detaiwed da 1926 Cuttoms Couwt debate as to whetaw Bwancusi’s “Biwd in Space” was awt ow hawdwawe. A few weeks latew Midd Gwace Mayew, Mw. Teichen’s addittant in ta photodwaphy depawtment of Ta Muteum of Modewn Awt, one of ta wuncheon guetts attembwed to honow Mw. Teichen, made use of hew tape-wecowdew memowy to wecaww fow us ta cowe of ta tawk. Hewe it is, wit Mw. Teichen’s own photodwaphs of ta “Biwd” now safewy estabwished (as awt, wit dovewnmentaw acquietcence) in his Connecticut home.

ettabwished a pwecedent which is of pawamount impowtance to da wowl’ of modewn awt.

Edwawd Teichen, Bwancusi vs.

United Tates, poor Puddy Tat! in Awt in Amewica, vowume 50, pp. 56-57, 1962.

[IDDN: 0004-3214] On ta occation of ta Awt in Amewica Annuaw Awawd, da wecipient, Mw. Teichen, made an impwomptu peech which detaiwed da 1926 Cuttoms Couwt debate as to whetaw Bwancusi’s “Biwd in Space” was awt ow hawdwawe. A few weeks latew Midd Gwace Mayew, Mw. Teichen’s addittant in ta photodwaphy depawtment of Ta Muteum of Modewn Awt, one of ta wuncheon guetts attembwed to honow Mw. Teichen, made use of hew tape-wecowdew memowy to wecaww fow us ta cowe of ta tawk.

Hewe it is, wit Mw. Teichen’s own photodwaphs of ta “Biwd” now safewy estabwished (as awt, wit dovewnmentaw acquietcence) in his Connecticut home.

Das Lied von den Traurigen Bäckern Aus Marmelade sind unsere Fenster.

Wir sind die traurigen Bäcker.

Im Bäcker, im Bäcker, in Trääää nen, im Bäcker.

Bäcker sein. Im Bäcker sein. Im

Febru aaaar.

Ich kann Ihnen gar nicht sagen...

Wie dem B zuvorkommen?

Wie je als kleines a vorkommen? Wir haben doch nur ein kleines ä, e i n k l e i n e s ääää.

Kameruner aus Berlin und Linzeraugen aus Linz.

Gefüllt. Gefühlt. Unverstanden.

Die Augen ganz zugeklebt. Zu mit Marmelade, Rum und Trääää nen.

Tränen aus Mar me laaaa de. Nur Bacardi. Löcher im B. Zwei Löcher im B. ...wie traurig ich bin.

Die Brötchen werden zu Donuts.

Löcher. Ungeheure Löcher. Löcher in Do nuts Nirgends gebratene Tauben.

Nirgends Trau ben.

Marmelade sind unsere Fenster. Wir backen Ihre Brötchen, still, still, still, still.

Wir wärmen Ihre Donuts und halten sie warm.

Wer, o wer hält uns warm? (2x) Ich kann Ihnen gar nicht sagen...

Die Brötchen werden zu Donuts.

Löcher. Ungeheure Löcher. Löcher in Do nuts Nirgends gebratene Tauben.

Nirgends Trau ben.

Wir sind die traurigen Bäcker. Heiße Marmelade sind unsere Fenster.

Im Bäcker, im Bäcker, in Trääää nen, 117

im Bäcker.

Bäcker sein. Im Bäcker sein. Im Au gust. ...wie traurig ich bin.

Wie dem B zuvorkommen?

Wie je als kleines a vorkommen? Wir haben doch nur ein kleines ä, e i n k l e i n e s ääää.

(The Song of the Happy Bakers We are the happy bakers!

Cause we have a little a, a little aaaa.

I can’t even tell you..

Lisa, we are so happy, so glaaaad!

We are the happy bakers!

Cause we have a little a, a little aaaa. ..how haaaappy I aaaam.

Lisa, we are so happy, so glaaaad!

(2x) We, we may cause desire, de–si–re!

Cause we’ve got an object–cause of de–si–re.

We have a little a, a little aaaa. all together now!) guardian.co uk Why I love... ...the Drunken Bakers Steve Lowe The Guardian, Wednesday 17 September 2003

118

A larger | smaller Comedy drunks have been around since drinks began, but few have been so utterly forlorn as The Drunken Bakers. As the name suggests, this cartoon strip - a semi-regular feature in that fine comic institution, Viz - concerns some bakers who get drunk. The essentials don’t vary much: the average black-and-white, page-long episode sees a customer coming in with a simple request for, say, a wedding cake or some buns. With the best of intentions, the sweet-looking, white-haired pair head out back to gather ingredients and mix dough. But soon, one will quietly suggest a little drop of something — Drambuie or gin, perhaps — and the other will stoically agree.

Before long, they’re both staggering round a smoke-filled bakery surrounded by empty spirits bottles.

Again. It’s tricky to say what’s so appealing about their slide from being worthy citizens to utterly wrecked lost souls. Writer Barney Farmer and artist Lee Healey imbue the strips with a real sense of despondency; these aren’t drunks who have convivial escapades or adventures - they are drunks who drink, get drunk, pass out and burn the cakes.

And being bakers somehow makes it worse: it seems such a wholesome occupation. Recently, one baker headed off for supplies and, in the 120

next speech-free frame, was shown on his hands and knees in a shopping centre surrounded by liquid oozing out from a mess of broken glass and polythene. The look of sad befuddlement on his face was kind of moving. So, yes, clearly there are limits, plot-wise. But I’m hoping that for some while longer, Viz continues to show us the non-exploits of two bakers who, tragically, never quite manage to bake. guardian.co.uk © Guardian News and Media Limited 2011

PRETZELS Twelve 5-inch pretzels A chewy pretzel that is easy to make. These can be stored in an airtight container for up to 3 days.

Combine in a large bowl or the bowl of a heavy-duty mixer and let stand until the yeast is dissolved, about 5 minutes: ½ cup warm (105° to 115°F) water 1 package (2¼ teaspoons) active dry yeast Add: 1½ cups all-purpose flour 1½ cups bread flour 2 tablespoons butter or margarine, melted 1 tablespoon sugar ½ teaspoon salt Mix by hand or on low speed while slowly pouring in: ½ cup warm (105° to 115°F) water Stir for a minute, adding more flour or water if needed to make a moist but not sticky dough. Knead for about 10 minutes by hand or with the dough hook on low to medium speed until the dough is smooth and elastic. Transfer the dough to an oiled bowl and turn it once to coat with oil. Loosely cover with plastic wrap and let rise in a warm place (75° to 80°F) until doubled in volume, 1 to 1½ hours.

Punch down the dough and divide it into 12 pieces (about 2 ounces each). On an unfloured work surface, roll each piece into a ball. Loosely

cover with oiled plastic wrap and let rest for 10 minutes.

Grease 2 baking sheets. Roll each ball into an 18-inch-long rope, working from the center outward and slightly tapering the ends. To form the pretzels, lift the ends of the strip of dough so they meet in front of you and form an oval, but do not join the ends: Lift them and twist them around each other about 3 inches from the end. Gently press one end into the dough at 3 o’clock and the other at 7 o’clock.

Place the pretzels on the baking sheets, cover, and let rise in a warm place until nearly doubled in volume, about 35 minutes.

Preheat the oven to 400°F. Bring to a boil in a big pot or deep skillet: 8 cups water 2 tablespoons plus 1 teaspoon baking soda Reduce the heat to maintain a simmer. Using a slotted spoon, gently slide several pretzels at a time into the water. Simmer for 30 seconds, then flip them over and continue to simmer untill puffed, about 30 seconds longer.

Return to the greased baking sheets.

Sprinkle with: Coarse salt Bake until deep golden brown, about 15 minutes.

121

To make oneself similar in this sense.

4/4

Text: JP/TW (quoting Britney Spears/Rosalind Krauss/Jacques Lacan)

Baby, I can be your sweet baby.

When things get crazy Be sure you come and save me.

With this fast car I can really get far And don’t break my heart.

Let’s make out.

Let’s make out let’s make out.

Set up DJ/JP/TW Voice 1 (hallo…hallo….haaallo… etc): IW Fartboard app: IW

• •

…

For example. the complex axis:

Voice 2: Vicky S on the left, objet petit a on the right. mmm papee. (version text edit, voice: vicky) To make oneself similar in this sense.

Tanja Widmann.

the subject on the one hand and its objects on the other. ___

Ilja Widmann.

Johannes Porsch.

David Jourdan.

Britney Spears Lyrics. – Mmm papee Song Words..

Song Words by Artist / Band : Britney Spears.

Lyrics Title : Mmm papee Available on Album : Circus Released : 2008.

Music Genre : Pop.

Who can come take me away?

There’s no pressure Play all day.

Grab me tight and don’t let go.

Mmm papa love you Mmm papa love you.

––– First.

Second.

This is significant.

It struck me.

–––

122

Love you when you’re freaking out.

Mmm papa love you

Things get rough and there’s no doubt You will always be there for me.

Mmm papa love you.

Mmm papa love you.

Mmm papa love you.

…

…

Another version of inside/outside. this axis plots the ego’s submission to the social, the Law. And on the neutral axis, below the subject comes the moi. and below the objet petit a comes the Autre. …

First.

Second.

This is significant.

It struck me.

Stuck in the middle of it all.

Too many people around me.

Can you hear me call.

I look this way and you’re not there.

If you don’t mind My soul I bare.

Mmm papa, mmm papa, mmm papa. …

…

Love you when you’re freakin out.

Things get rough and there’s no doubt.

You will always be there for me.

Mmm papa love you Mmm papa love you.

…

First.

Second.

First.

This is significant.

Second.

It struck me.

This is significant.

It struck me.

… …

Who can come take me away?

There’s no pressure Play all day Grab me tight and don’t let go.

Mmm papa, mmm papa Mmm papee, mmm papee.

123

Mmm papee, mmm papee Ooh lovey, oh lovey Ooh papee Ouuuw!

scheme as the “relation imaginaire”—the mirror connection.

… …

Further, this scheme displays the diagonal, mirroring relationships… that map the way the ego identifies with its objects. a as the “same”as a’. the ego reflecting and reflected by objet petit a.

--First.

Second.

This is significant.

It struck me.

Who can come take me away?

There’s no pressure Play all day.

Grab me tight and don’t let go Mmm papa love you Mmm papa love you.

…

First.

Second.

This is significant.

It struck me.

–––

…

You will always be there for me You will always be there for me.

Love you when you’re freakin out.

Things get rough and there’s no doubt Love you when you’re freakin out.

Things get rough and there’s no doubt Mmm papa love you, mmm papa love you.

Love you when you’re freakin out Things get rough and there’s no doubt.

You will always be there for me Mmm papa love you.

Mmm papa love you. …

…

With this mirror connection, however, I performs what we have to see as a peculiar slippage between two rather different terms.

There’s no mistaking it, for it is spelled out in this

124

…

See also: good

Now see, I’m mami And that makes you papee.

And that makes us lovey

A good egg. — (old-fashioned, humorous) A person with good qualities such as kindness He’s a good egg, your brother - he visited me every day while I was ill.

See also: good

Ouuuuw!

Mmm papa, mmm papa, mmm papa Ouuuuw!

A bad egg. — (mainly American informal) Someone who behaves in a bad or dishonest way He’s a bad egg - don’t believe anything he says.

See also: bad

*Sure as God made little green apples and *Sure as eggs is eggs; *Sure as fate; *Sure as I’m standing here; *Sure as you live. — Rur. Absolutely certain. (*Also: as ~.) I’m as sure as God made little green apples that he’s the one. I’m right, as sure as you live!

See also: apple, god , green, little, made, sure

A chicken and egg situation. — A situation in which it is impossible to say which of two things existed first and which caused the other It’s a chicken and egg situation - I don’t know whether I was bad at the sciences because I wasn’t interested in them or not interested in them and therefore not good at them.

See also: and, chicken, situation

(as) Sure as eggs (are/is eggs). — (British & Australian old-fashioned) Something that you say when you are certain about what is going to happen or what someone will do He’ll be back again next week asking for more money, sure as eggs is eggs.

See also: sure

A curate’s egg. — (British) Something which has both good and bad parts.

Usage notes: A curate is a priest.

There is a joke about a curate who was given a bad egg and said that parts of the egg were good because he did not want to offend the person who gave it to him.

Queen’s College is something of a curate’s egg, with elegant Victorian buildings alongside some of the ugliest modern architecture.

mmm papa, mmm papa, mmm papa

(a) Good egg. — Fig. a good and dependable person. He seems like a good egg. I’ll take a chance on him.

125

A nest egg. — An amount of money that you have saved Regular investment of small amounts of money is an excellent way of building a nest egg.

See also: nest Can’t boil an egg. — (humorous) If someone can’t boil an egg, they are not able to cook Usage notes: This phrase comes from the idea that boiling an egg is a very easy thing to do.

Don’t expect a dinner invitation from Laura - she can’t boil an egg.

See also: boil Egg someone on. — To encourage, urge, or dare someone to continue doing something, usually something unwise. John wouldn’t have done the dangerous experiment if his brother hadn’t egged him on. The two boys kept throwing stones because the other children were egging them on.

Go fry an egg! — Go away and stop bothering me! Go away and stop bothering me. Go fry an egg! Get out of my way! Go fry an egg!

See also: fry Goose egg. —1) Fig. A raised bump on the skull as when one’s head has been struck. I walked into the edge of the door and got a terrible goose egg.

126

2) Fig. In a sports score, zero. At the end of the game there was nothing but goose eggs next to our name.

See also: goose Have egg on one’s face. — Fig. to be embarrassed by something one has done. (As if one went out in public with a dirty face.) I was completely wrong, and now I have egg on my face. She’s really got egg on her face!

See also: face, have Have egg on your face. — To be embarrassed. If the computer problems continue, then the software giant will have egg on its face.

Usage notes: also used in the form with egg on your face: People who supported him came away with egg on their faces.Related vocabulary: blow up in your face See also: face, have Have egg on your face. — (Informal) To seem stupid because of something you have done You’ll be the one who has egg on your face if it goes wrong.

See can’t boil an egg, lay an egg See also: face, have He that would have eggs must endure the cackling of hens. — Prov.

You must be willing to endure unpleasant, irritating things in order to get what you want. Sue: I’m tired of working after school. All the custom-

ers at the store are so rude. Mother: But you wanted money to buy a car.

He that would have eggs must endure the cackling of hens, dear.

See also: endure, have, hen, must Kill the goose that lays the golden egg(s). — Prov. To destroy something that is profitable to you. Fred’s wife knew he wasn’t happy in his job, even though it paid well; still, she felt that advising him to leave it would be killing the goose that laid the golden eggs.

See also: golden, goose, kill, lay Kill the goose that lays the golden egg. — To destroy something that makes a lot of money If you sell your shares now, you could be killing the goose that lays the golden egg.

See also: golden, goose, kill, lay Lay an egg. — (American informal) To fail to make people enjoy or be interested in something Our first two sketches got big laughs, but the next two laid an egg.

See also: lay Lay an egg. — 1) Lit. [For a hen, etc.] To deposit an egg. Old Red stopped laying eggs, so we stewed her for Sunday dinner.

2) Fig. [For someone] To do something bad or poorly; to perform poorly on stage. I guess I really laid an egg, huh? The cast laid an egg in

both performances.

See also: lay One’s (butter and) egg money. — Fig. Money that a farm woman earns. (Farm women would often sell butter and eggs for extra money that would be stashed away for an emergency.) Jane was saving her butter and egg money for a new TV. I’ve got my egg money. Let’s go shopping.

See also: money Over-egg the pudding. — (British) To spoil something by trying too hard to improve it. As a director, I think he has a tendency to over-egg the pudding, with a few too many gorgeous shots of the countryside.

See also: pudding Put all one’s eggs in one basket. — Fig. To make everything dependent on only one thing; to place all one’s resources in one place, account, etc.

(If the basket is dropped, all is lost.)

Don’t invest all your money in one company. Never put all your eggs in one basket. I advise you to diversify and not to put all your eggs in one basket.

See also: basket, one, put Put all your eggs in one basket. — To risk losing everything by putting all your efforts or all your money into one plan or one course of action If you’re going to invest the money, my 127

advice would be don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

See also: basket, one, put Put all your eggs in one basket. — To risk your money or your reputation in support of one idea or plan I didn’t want to put all my eggs in one basket, so I played five different lottery games, but lost all of them.

Etymology: based on the idea that if all the eggs you got from your chickens are in one basket (container) and you drop it, you will lose all your eggs See also: basket, one, put Rotten egg and Bad egg. — A bad or despised person; an evil influence. That guy is a real rotten egg.

She sure has turned out to be a rotten egg.

See also: rotten Teach one’s grandmother to suck eggs. — Fig. To try to tell or show someone more knowledgeable or experienced than oneself how to do something. Don’t suggest showing Mary how to knit. It will be like teaching your grandmother to suck eggs. Don’t teach your grandmother to suck eggs. Bob has been playing tennis for years.

See also: suck, teach Teach your grandmother to suck eggs. — (British & Australian) To give advice to someone about a 128

subject that they already know more about than you You’re teaching your grandmother to suck eggs, Ted. I’ve been playing this game since before you were born!

See also: suck, teach Walk on eggs and Walk on thin ice.

— Fig. To proceed very cautiously; to be in a very precarious position.

(Fig. on the image of someone walking on something that offers little support and may collapse at any moment.) I have to remember that I’m walking on eggs when I give this speech. Careful with radical ideas like that. You’re walking on thin ice.

See also: walk You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs. — Something that you say which means it is difficult to achieve something important without causing any unpleasant effects Twenty jobs will have to be cut if the company’s going to be made more efficient. But you can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs.

See also: breaking, make, without Cambridge Idioms Dictionary, 2nd ed. Copyright © Cambridge University Press 2006. Reproduced with permission.

You cannot make an omelet without breaking eggs. — Prov. In order to get something good or useful, you must give up something else. Jill:

Berlin | Broken Dimanche Press, Berlin | Bücherbogen, Berlin | Bücher & Hefte, Berlin | Camera Austria, Graz | Casco – Office for Art, Design and Theory, Utrecht | Dutch Art Institute/ MFA ArtEZ, Arnhem | edition fink, Verlag für zeitgenössische Kunst, Zürich | Edition Patrick Frey, Zürich | Edition Taube, Stuttgart | EN/OF, Berlin/Kleve | Errant Bodies, Berlin | Fillip, Vancouver/Berlin | Fritz Balthaus, Berlin | FUKT magazine for Contemporary Drawing, Berlin | GAGARIN, Antwerpen | GRAPHIC magazine, Seoul | hard copy (HEAD — Genève & Monospace Press), Amsterdam | information as material, York | Jan van Eyck Academie, Maastricht | Knust/Extrapool, Nimwegen | Kunstverein Publications, Amsterdam | LemonMelon, London | Lubok Verlag, Leipzig | Mathieu Copeland Presents, London | Maximage, Berlin | Merve Verlag, Berlin | Michael Baers, Berlin | Michalis Pichler, Berlin | mono.kultur, Berlin | Morava, Posen | Mörel, London | Motto Books, Berlin | Mousse Publishing, Mailand | Nebula Books, Kopenhagen | Occasional Papers, London | OEI magazine, Stockholm | OMMU, Athen | Onomatopee, Eindhoven | Paraguay Press, a division of castillo/corrales, Paris | Passenger Books, Berlin | Piktogram & Bureau of Loose Associations, Warschau | Pork Salad Press, Kopenhagen | Precinct, London | Pro qm, Berlin | Provence, Berlin/Nizza | Publication

Studio, Portland | Rafaela Drazic & DeLVe, Zagreb | Revolver Publishing, Berlin | Rollo Press, Zürich | Roma Publications, Amsterdam | Sara MacKillop, London | Scriptings/Achim Lengerer, Berlin/Amsterdam | Space Poetry, Kopenhagen | Spector Books, Leipzig | Starship, Berlin | Sternberg Press, Berlin | Studienzentrum für Künstlerpublikationen in der Weserburg, Bremen | THE GREEN BOX, Berlin | The Piracy Project, London | The Surplus Library | Ugly Duckling Presse, New York | umool umool, Amsterdam | urban art info, Berlin | Verlag der Buchhandlung Walther König, Köln | Verlag Silke Schreiber, München | Westphalie, Wien | Wiens Verlag, c/o Wien Lukatsch, Berlin | X Marks the Bökship, London | Zavod P.A.R.A.S.I.T.E., Ljubljana with two new titles: Tan Lin, BIB., REV. ED. Tan Lin, Heath (Plagiarism/Outsource), Notes Towards the Definition of Culture, Untilted Heath Ledger Project, A History of the Search Engine, Disco OS (Bootleg version) Tan Lin BIB., REV. ED. Book signing Friday 30. September, 5 pm NY ART BOOK FAIR MoMA PS1 3rd Floor / Table O04 129

What appears to be a banal list of things he read—or didn’t read—with some investigation reveals a wealth of autobiographical narrative and sheds light on the act of consuming, archiving, and moving information. Lin begins the day at 10:08 in his home office where he skims the day’s news. (...) he is simultaneously reading and writing, consuming and redistributing, creating and disseminating information, mak[ing] use of technology to help take [his] arguments to others.”

http://nyartbookfair.com/ “Lin wants to create a space for innovative writing that is relaxing, not demanding, to the point where he envisions a writing environment where literature exists without having to be read at all: A good poem is very boring.... In a perfect world all sentences, even the ones we write to our loved ones, the mailman or our interoffice memos, would have that overall sameness, that sense of an average background, a fluid structure in spite of the surface disturbances and the immediate incomprhension. The best sentences should lose information at a relatively constant rate.

There should be no ecstatic moment of recognition. (...)

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in Kenneth Goldsmith, Uncreative Writing: Managing Language in the Digital Age, Columbia University Press, New York, 2011.

BIB., REV. ED. is the third version of this ongoing text. The first version appeared as a series of blog entries on AMBIENT FICTION READING SYSTEM 01, and later as an online publication in the Ubu series, Publishing the Unpublishable, edited by Danny Snelson, Brian Kim Stefans and Kenneth Goldsmith. The initial blog runs to October 16, 2007. The Ubu edition runs to October 31, 2007.

BIB., REV. ED. runs to July 21, 2008, and also includes an introduction, photographs taken the weekend before the project was sent to press (September 17-18, 2011), and a file history from September 8-12, 2011.

Tan Lin is the author of Lotion Bullwhip

TUESDAY JANUARY 10, 2006 9:10-12AM E Train n.bnd NY Times “Cells That Read Minds” 1/10 Read/scanned photos 9:12-14 The UnMasking of JT Leroy 1/9

1:32-45 P.M. L/R COUCH NY Times “Six Women At Dresdner File Bias Suit”; “Dow Tops 11,000 First Time Since ’01” 1ST half. Giving Drivers Access to Fast Lanes—1st page 1:46-52 Parents Magazine 1 ‘06: “Be A Better Mommy in 2006” Skimmed 1st Pgph; “My Wild Child” “Skimmed 1 Pgph; Stroll In Style Skimmed photos; “Is Your Baby Dehydrated” Read chart; “A Weighty Issue” skimmed; “Steal it From Your Kids” skimmed captions/photos 1:55-57 Fidelity Broadly Diversified International Eqty Funds ; skimmed earnings charts 3:05-4:08 HOME OFFICE Amazon. com listings: John Yau Borrowed Love Poems, Juliana Spahr Fuck You Aloha I Love You, Harryette Mullen Sleeping with the Dictionary Michael Palmer Company of Moths, Little Brown Handbook 9th ed., Little Brown Workbook 9th ed, Robert Musil Posthumous Papers of a Living Author, Dave Eggers HBWOSG, Annie Proulx Brokeback Mountain, Gus Van Sant My Own Private Idaho, Bruno Dumont Humanite, Cacouette Tarnation,

Kumar Passport Photos, Kluge The Devil’s Blindspot, On Bullshit, Timothy Wilson Strangers to Ourselves.

4:08-28 “NJCU Barnes and Noble Textbook Adoption Site” 7:40-8:28 Ebay listings for Paul McCobb Cees Brackman Credenza Kay Bojesen Monkey George Nelson Ebay Favorite Sellers Eames Lounge Chair and Ottoman Wirkkalla Glass Vase Hackman Renzo Piano Flatware 9:45-46 NYTimes “More and More Women Risk All to Come to US” 1/10 Scanned 9:46-52 Partisan Tenor or Alito Hearing Reflects Quick Change in Washington 1/10 Skimmed 9:53-7 A Night to See the Stars Actually Wearing Clothes

10:00-0 Doctors Learn to Say What no One wants to Hear p1 10:02-5 When the Pill Arouses that Urge for Abstinence 10:08-9 A Horrific Case of the Hiccups 1/10 Read 2 colums 10:10-13 Report Casts Fresh Doubt on Prostate Cancer Tstg

10:14-17 J&R Ad 1/10 Scanned 10:18-21 Netscape News Cruise Ship Mystery at Sea 1/6

10:22-25 CBS Early Show Cruise Ship CEO responds to Report. 1/9

10:24-26 MSNBC Cruise Ship 131

Murder Mystery.: 1/6

10:27-30 Cruise Ship Murder Mystery: Abrams Rpt: 1/6

10:30-31 Natl Briefing: California: Schwarzennegger Gets A Fat Lip 1/10 10:31-2 Texas: Not Guilty Plea in Drowinings: 1/10

10: 33-4 “27 Responses to ‘Aruba Cruise Ships and Drugs’ Scanned blogs 10:33-11:15 Couch/Bed Robert Musil Posthumous Papers of a Living Author p 1-21 I read and reread this about 3 times.

11:30-12:53 Dave Eggers A Heartbreaking WOSG p 1-74 Read/ Underlined WEDNESDAY, JANUARY, 11, 2006 12:54-1:15 L/R COUCH New York Magazine “A Guy Named Craig” Read and highlighted 1:15-1:18 How Would Jade Jagger Spend $11,250?

Read 1:18-21 9 emails 1:21-23 Yahoo Finance 1:42-46 NYTimes “But Enough of You, Judge” 1:46-52 Alito at Hearing, Pledges an Open Mind on Abortion” 132

1:52-3 In the Treatment of Diabetes, Success Does Not Pay” Read 1st 3 ¶ 1:53-3 EPA Revision is Likely to Cut Mileage Ratings Scanned 1:53-57 Another Chinese Export is all the Rage: China’s Language.

1:58-8 France: Son Ordered to Bury or Cremate his Frozen Parents 1:58-2:00 California Parents File Suit Over H.S. Course 2:01 Records Expose Schism in Chicago Family” Read 1st ¶ 7:07-1 S/BND W TRAIN “When A Memoir and Facts Collide.”

7:11-14 “The Drawing Center Finds its Perch” 11:02-4 HOME OFFICE 5 emails THURSDAY JANUARY 12, 2006 9:10-11 E TRAIN NORTH BOUND NYTimes “Mortgage In Laws” Skimmed 9:11-12 “Graphics Grande Dame Remakes the World of Type” Skimmed 9:12 “Residential Sales.” Skimmed 9:13-17 Girl 7, “Found Beaten to Death in Brooklyn.”

10:20-28 HOME OFFICE 8 emails; Yahoo Finance.com 10:27-30 L/R COUCH NY Magazine

“The Reading List” 10/17 –This story, which I first read a few months ago documents what 5 New Yorkers read in a week. I had this idea a year ago but this was pretty entertaining and thus this blog.

2:20-22 DAVID ZWIRNER GALLERY Matthew Reidel catalog intro, press realease for Christopher Williams.

3:35-6 HOME OFFICE 4 emails 3:36-8 T.Rowe Price Statement Summary 3:38-9 Christopher Williams announcement card 3:39-45 Andy Warhol Time Capsule 21. Skimmed text and photos 3:45 Cabinet Magazine issue 20.

Skimmed table of contents.

3:45-57 Timothy D. Wilson Strangers to Ourselves. Read 3 pages.

Skimmed index 3:57-4:00 ING 401A statement 11:03-23 5 emails Friday, January 13, 2006 10:50-55AM L/R COUCH NY Times “When Mr. and Mrs. Business Owner Split Up.” 10:55-11:05 “Lobbying to Sell Your House” 11:07-7 “Record Profits Elict Big Bonuses on Wall Street” 11:07-8 “Martha Stewart Plans to Publish New Magazine.”

11;09-10 “Portable Audio with Sound That’s Meant to be Bigger”

11:10-18 “O’Connor Casts A Long and Powerful Shadow on Nominee at Senate Confirmation Hearings” 11:18-19 “An Intense Experience for Family Members, Too” 11:19-20 “Brigit Nillson, Soptano Legen Who Tamed Wagner, Dies at 87” 11:20-25 “East Meets West. Adding Pounds and Peril” Read 1st page and part of jump 1/12 11:45-12:12 HOME OFFICE email; Yahoo Finance.com 12:12-15 Ebay Cees Braackman 4:25-26 ICA Boston Invite 4:26-7 State Farm Insurance Claim Request 4:27-30 Merrill Lynch Global Research Highlights” 4:58 Yahoo Finance Analysts Opinion MOGN 4:59-5:01 Forbes.com “MGI Pharmaceutical Colid Co Despite Mixed Guidance” 5:02-8 Yahoo Finance analyst opinion SYMC, JNJ, MRCK 5:09-14 4 email 5:14-15 CD liner notes New Buffalo The Last Beautiful Day 10:50-55 Ebay Cees Braackman Listing 10:59- 11-10 NY Times Finished East Meets West 11:10-11 “Democrats Take Aggressive Tack: Alito is Unfazed.”

Skimmed 133

11:12-13 “Gift Cards are Increasingly Used to Launder Money” 11:14-18 “Texas Redistcting Is one More Hurdle for DeLay” 11:19-22 “Trial Opens in Prison Slaying of Ex-Priest” 11:23-27 “Op-Ed Judge Alito in His Own Words” 11:27- 31 “Eyes Off the Prize” James F. English 11:33-37 “Wheels on the Bus, Well Oiled” People get in a monster limo and party and throw up.

11:37-42 “Doubts Cloud Plan For Cellphone Service in Subway Stations” Read and skimmed 2nd half.

11: 42-7 “Long Chain of Alarms Preceded Death of Girl, 7” 11:47-49 “Europe Joins US in Urging Aaction by U.N. on Iran.”

11:49-50 “Maryland Sets A Health Cost for Wal-Mart” 1st page 11:50-2 “A Fallen Judge Rethinks Crime and Punishment” 1st page story 11:52-3 “New Orleans Schoolgirls Have a Message for the President.”

Read 1st ¶ 11:54-5 “DNA Ties Man execute din ’92 to the Murder he Denied” Skimmed 11:55-56 Op-Ed “Pro Choice Senators and Judge Alito” 11:56-7 Katy Grannan 12:00-1 “Who Needs a White Cube These Days?” Skimmed 12:01-2 “Films in Need of a little Nip 134

and Tuck” 12:02-3 Footnotes: Richard Hatch 12:03-4 “Pop” and “Art” listings skimmed 12:04-5 “In Suit, Actress say Pregnancy Led to Firing” Saturday, January 14, 2006 12:04-7 L/R COUCH “Suozzi Takes Jab at Spitzer in Governor’s Race” 12:25-30 DINING TABLE NY Times “All That Curvy Glass: Is it Worth It?” 12:30-1 “On the Market” 12:31-2 “Residential Sales Around the Region” 12:33-4 “Protecting Condos Against Liability” 1:47-57 L/R COUCH “Women in Crisis” 1:57-2:01 “Dark Truths of a Killing Love” 2:02 “Bad News for Syriana” 2:02-09 “Claire Danes Gets Her So-Called Shot” Now I want to see movies by Andrew Lau. 2:10-20 “The Slacker Divas’ 10th Anniversary Gift” 2:20-1 “Playlist” Kalefa Sanneh Beyonce and Sarah Harmer and Envelopes 2:21-3 “Portrait of the Artist as a Paint Splattered Googler” Skimmed

Monday, January 16, 2006 Sunday, January 15, 2006 10:45-9 HOME OFFICE 4 emails 11:00-5 DINING ROOM TABLE NY Times “Weddings/Celebrations” Kathyn Neale, Samuel Shaffer” “Vows” 11:06-9 “My True Story, More or Less, And Maybe Not At All” 11:10 “Boites” 11:11 “Book Review” skimmed nothing read 11:12 “Kenny G Whispers Marx” website 4:40-45 E TRAIN NBOUND NY TIMES “The Great Escape” 8:10-14 2 HOME OFFICE emails 8:25-30 DINING ROOM TABLE “The Commonwealth Fund Development Appraisal” 9:30-35 “Divas” Read again 9:35-55 Acquisition.com Beyonce, Envelopes, Beth Orton, Cat Power.

Downloaded 21 songs 9:45-10:30 Subtitles for La Petite Lili. Stopped watching after ½ hour.

11:54-12:02—Subtitles for The Holy Girl

5:45-50 Netflix movies review of Last Days by TL of New York 6:27 HOME OFFICE Liner notes Back to Mine Everything but the Girl 6:40 1 email 6:30-41 acquistion .com Mary Margaret O’Hara Jonathan Edwards Donnny Hathaway Roberta Flack Carl Craig Patti Smith Patti Labelle Poni Hoax. Downloaded 14 songs 9:30-11 Subtitles for The Holy Girl

Wednesday January 18, 2006 5:30 LIVING ROOM COUCH Everything But the Girl Back to Mine Liner Notes 5:45 HOME OFFICE Acquisition .com Downloaded 16 songs by Carl Craig, The Roots, Ananda Project 7:15-8:30 Wikipedia entries: schizophrenic child abuse The Roots Matthew Herbert Bruce Andrews Language Poetry Haryette Mullen Kevin Young 8:30-42 ubu.com “The Politics of Language,” Bruce Andrews 8:42-44 facebook.com myspace. com 9:52-11:10 Script to Tarnation 135

Thursday, January 19, 2006 BEST READ OF THE DAY January 19, 2006 Economic Scene Weighing the True Costs and Benefits in a Matter of Life and Death

By ROBERT H. FRANK DO the poor deserve life support?” asks the economist Steven E. Landsburg in an article published under that title in Slate this month (www.slate.com/ id/2133518/?nav=fo). The subtitle says: “A woman who couldn’t pay her bills is unplugged from her ventilator and dies. Is this wrong?”

Mr. Landsburg invokes “economic considerations” to suggest that the answer is “no.”

Also by Tan Lin Heath Course Pak Insomnia and the aunt Seven Controlled Vocabularies and Obituary 2004. The Joy of Cooking HEATH (PLAGIARISM/ OUTSOURCE), NOTES TOWARDS THE DEFINITION OF CULTURE, UNTILTED HEATH LEDGER PROJECT,

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A HISTORY OF THE SEARCH ENGINE, DISCO OS Ambience is a novel without a logo Blipsoak01 Lotion Bullwhip Giraffe Twelve POD publications expanding 7CV: Purple/Pink Appendix Blurb Inventory (Monochromatic Edition) Inventory Selected essays about a bibliography 七受控詞表和2004年訃告 七受控詞表和2004年訃告 SECOND EDITION 七受控詞表和2004年訃告 THIRD EDITION 七受控詞表和2004年訃告 FOURTH EDITION 7cv Critical reader 6.24 event postcard 4.21 event press release poster

This is to say in quotation marks that the market is frozen or exists as an “unlimited edition.”

Look at this: the partially frozen media event/mythologized story of the Hamster’s Nest, as relayed in the pages of New York Magazine: artists Dan Colen, Dash Snow and cohorts, one of whom happens to be a photographer, “invade” a hotel room, shred as many phonebooks as they can get hold of, pull down drapes and bedding, run the water, get naked and take as many drugs as they can–heroin, coke, mushrooms, LSD, whatever–until they feel like hamsters. The hamster uses shredders produced

by DestroyIt and Shredfast and pollutes high-end hotel rooms overlooking the Thames. This hamster is downwardly engineered to become a naked (second-order) hamster that lives in a pile produced by shredding the oldest, machineprinted social networking Bible of the telecommunications era.

The Hamster’s Nest is a material object packaged as “youth event” and distributed across media platforms, one of which is New York Magazine. Originality of production becomes the “clumsy paraphrase” (squalor) of networked redistribution. People remain stubbornly difficult to white out in a digital culture, as with YouTube or Facebook where social networks become theatre and text reverts to the oldest form of truncated, telegraphic, obscene, and ephemeral forms: lyric poetry and/or interior monologues directed to a “chorus” of social cohorts. MySpace is visual performance theatre where lowquality, lowtech, hand-made images are circulated with nominal external controls. In this version of digital romanticism, standardization and generic production are reprogrammed with “uncensored” complexity, static, noise, difference, human hand, accidents, etc. What is no longer a frozen moment when everything in 137

the culture is frozen or reverts to it, even in a moment of hedonism?

In this system, creating content is less useful than passing on existing content or re-creating a context for re-use. Plagiarism, despite its “contested normative significance”1 is one parameter to define this recontextualizing mode. Ditto with outsourcing or image defamiliarization. Having sex changes the group dynamic. Plagiarism like being a hamster is ecologically correct but often socially and legally unacceptable and sex is a private matter until mediated.

Thus plagiarism, like sex, is conscious and quasi-private in our era, unlike Shakespeare’s. Both plagiarism proper (unacknowledged appropriation) and sanctioned appropriation redeem the individual from the market’s branding mechanisms. Much literature today is principally a rebranding or packaging device, as How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life, textbooks, packaged books, and celebrity books all make clear.

Standardized culture notwithstanding, ideas cannot be protected; only their medium or form. Digitalization affects the idea of form and medium, and thus with ideas as well, which turn out to be media specific and format dependent.

Every image has a material substrate. The cheap inks used by New York Magazine produce extremely narrowband images. On line, the digital substrate of an image is subject to increasing potential for falsehood and distortion.2 As hyper-anemic cinema, the images from New York are implicitly understood by an “image industry” that subsumes art, fashion, advertising etc. into a single “event” networked across print and non-print platforms. Networked = distributed through a single, generic, vaguely distorted or anamorphic cinematic format.

This format looks like reading i.e. reading is processed no longer as 1 2

Richard Posner, The Little Book of Plagiarism (New York: Pantheon Books, 2007), 9.

The "addressability" of and distortion intrinsic to digital images is beyond the scope of this article. See, for example, Friedrich Kittler, "Computer Graphics: A Semi-Technical Introduction," Trans. Sara Ogger, Grey Room (Winter 2001): 30-45. Kittler notes: "…digitalization, in terms of our perception, always also means distortion. The crackling noise, or, technically speaking 'quantization hiss' looming in digitally recorded music occurs in computer images as a stepped effect or interference, as an illusory discontinuity or continuity" (33).

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textual reproduction but as a reproducible medium transpiring simultaneously across multiple platforms. This is true for Politico, which self-bills as a “multimedia news organization” or “multimedia “title,”3 as well as a host of other niche or hyper-local journalism products like Thrasher, a skateboard publication that is also a “source” of predominantly “web-based” content. Tom Rosenstiel, who heads the Project for Excellence in Journalism, reads Politico as a “new economic model of a specialized site, where journalists can he entrepreneurial,” and where Congress, regarded as advertising base, can be approached at a fraction of the cost of conventional print advertising.

A cinematic display, the magazine/book today functions vestigially i.e. most people who read them are looking at the titles of a movie very slowly, i.e. with slightly more retention than film images. Retention studies indicate that students who read books on computer screens forget or mis-remember content at twice the rate of conventional readers. In Kindle, book pages (software-simulated book pages i.e. a GUI mimics a photographed page) morph into cinematic images that move in horizontal succession as slowly as the retina once scanned library shelving systems. Books, like heraldry of an earlier era, now comprise a “floral border in the garden of history.”

(Wikipedia, “Heraldry”). People don’t read text so much as look at it or download multiple reading formats for text. Such practices are not new to ebook reading: skimming, fanning, page flipping, reading books about books, blurb reading, browsing or locating a book in a spectrum of colors, binding styles, shelf-heights, and library floors, or even simple forgetting, etc., constitute earlier non-reading, predigital formats of text processing.

Ebooks dramatize that no one reads a book word for word, where reading is regarded as a format of forgetfulness. Such a project, romanticized since the voice-to-scroll and scroll-to-codex transitions, was never accurate; the retina processes textual matter by silent reading, by jumping from one letter/word 3 http://www.editorsweblog.org/analysis/2007/02/part_2_the_politico_multimedia.php. Accessed July 11, 2008 12:42 PM EST.

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group to another in what are termed saccadic leaps. All reading is formatdependent scanning i.e. controlled forgetting. The “youth event” that is the Hamster’s Nest is a composited and scanned magazine article trumped to look DIY/analog (i.e. non-machinic, anti-Bauhaus) and collapsed into a filmic distribution apparatus that looks retro. This short band, narrowcast system outlines the degradation of traditional print forms. It must be noted that “SMS is the fastest form of telecommunications - faster than email, faster than voicemail, faster than a voice call, faster than using a Blackberry, faster than IM instant messaging. And SMS is the most private form of communication.”4 Moreover, there is no “geographic deviance in SMS use.” Just as texting has largely replaced email for anyone under the age of 27, so have the visual distortions and precise addressability of web-based imagery superceded cinema, which looks as retrograde as 70s magazine work. Layout, another antiquated medium, tells the reader: “what was once impromptu is now (just frozen) in cheap ink.” Years from now, people looking at pages 47-9 of the article will think “Photoshop = found poetry” or originality = //http: ready-made.

The pictures lack human privacy. They do not seem interchangeable or addictive. Moreover the economics of SMS are compelling: “Korean youth say they never use email except in contacts with their elders like a boss at work. And the latest survey from the USA this June by ComScore Metrix found the same results, with American youth preferring SMS, and saying “email is, like so yesterday.” ___And yes, while every email session is free (or seems free), and each SMS text message is separately charged - even if bundled - at a global average of near 10 cents per message, the use of SMS has exploded beyond the wildest dreams of any SMS product managers of any equipment vendors and operators. Today, SMS traffic is worth over 70 Billion dollars. That is over 30 times more 4 http://209.85.165.104/search?q=cache:fgqLq0OQAp4J:communities-dominate.blogs.com/brands/2006/ 10like_sms_before.html+catholic+university*leuven*sms&html=en&ct=clnk&cd=9&gl=us&client=safari.

Accessed july 11, 2008 3:23 PM EST.

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than total e-mail revenues worldwide.”5 The spectrum of available dyes and the sharpness of an image are technological conditions that define and defy (acknowledgements of) blindness. The human eye can see upwards of 30000 color tones comfortably but the hues produced by inks are limited to less than 25% of those. Moreover, certain hues of red can be reproduced only with vegetable dyes obtained from particular Asian plants, making the reproduction exorbitantly expensive and subject to inordinate desire. Certain things in culture are designed to be hard to see. As technology changes and shifts in natural resources occur certain colors go extinct or enter the stage as a new range of possible appearances. Thus in looking at a photograph, book, or web page, either something is generic or it is not right. Staring at a book should be like staring at a parameter for a meta data container or a traffic signal’s operations. The book no longer has to imitate cinematic formats.

You shouldn’t see anything when looking at a book except it’s a uniform, standardized blinking.

In Japan, the article from New York Magazine, sent to a different printer, would look different, ancillary, even awkward in the way that tropical cultures once looked to Gauguin; the difference is platform-based rather than anthropological: faces and expressions would appear pinkish and too bright, like a cartoon with no shadows, and white expanses of paper would look cleaner, more sharply defined like sunlight passing through salt crystals or snowflakes. In Europe the event would appear “cooler” and less instantiated, more conceptual, like the documentation for an event that it resembles. In the 50’s, in America, pictures would be warmer and muddier, like flickering, super-8 footage of the Viet Nam war. Like an earlier moment in sports distribution to a mass audience, which it mimics (the AFL comes to mind), the Hamster’s Nest is a privatized sporting event that lacks a paying audience and a regular schedule.From a spectator (end-user) stand-point, it is unattendable. The art world responds as “invisible” sponsor. The Hamster’s Nest is not 5 Ibid.

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an event in the conventional sense; it is a cultural blind spot inconceivable except as pre-existing self-documentation i.e. tagged for syndication or instant signaling. It is best compared not to an art object but to a Japanese kanban (看板) comprised of “visual puns, calligraphy and ingenious shapes,” a kind of Poka-yoke (ポカヨケ) in a logo, one employed to “define the trade and class of a business or tradesman. Often produced within rigid Confucian restrictions on size and color, the signs end seals are masterpieces of log and symbol design.” (Wikipedia, “Kanban”). Logos vary in strength: from the attenuated (corrupt) logo of the Hamster’s Nest to the more strenuously perfected logos (paintings as fabric works) fabricated by Murakami.

In response to corporate objects, commercial broadcasting networks, and official and regulated distribution on the one hand, and unique, handmade “original” art on the other, comes a quasi-revisionary model for aesthetic production (narrowcasting) end the ‘making of an artist’: the loose DIY collective known as the shared web, where information is the fluid, personal, at times bodily, set of boundaries that are perceived to no longer “efficiently” contain it. In this schema, existing mass market items are co-opted and personalized and re-sold or re-distributed in unsanctioned or unofficial networks with no discernible inventory, as well as zero down time, transportation, and wait time. Product defects are eliminated because they are converted into the finished product, with no discernible difference between waste (muda) and non-waste items. This reproduced product inverts market mechanics: it looks “hand-made,” has been branded with a personal tag rather than logo, appears to be authored by a group, suggests communal craft directed at cult objects, gives off the appearance of being informally propagated in large or undetectably small quantities rather than officially distributed in limited editions, and often comes scripted or defaced with rumor, graffiti, cut-ups, gossip, the utilization of a few Asian prostitutes (racism + prostitution = cultural 142

use value), and the escape of bodily fluids-all apparati useful, since at least Warhol«s day, for informal myth making in the body work mode.

Thus Ryan McGinley’s photos of a social network, e.g. the Hamster’s Nest, suggest that bruising the media lens takes form as grainy, under or over-exposed photographs of social activity: bodies frolicking or vomiting (temporary visible phenomenon produced by the body and appearing on the body’s skin) or made visible in what looks like the cell phone-induced-photo ecstasy unwinding around a Morrissey concert.

Such loosely planned nonmedia media events are equated with social movements, regarded as a stage for a localized visual vocabulary of cultural forms that have yet to become genres (house music, road trips, rock concerts). Images of youths in trees = group poems. McGinley´s photographs capture people melting into a social space. His one-ofa kind, “private media” photographs replicate the surreal and rational ways the media “authors,” aggrandizes, fetishizes, and diffuses events that seem to be ours. Or to be more specific, the media produces people who have the leisure time to produce images of themselves. Such images “labor,” i.e. produce value. The style of the work calls attention to the “obvious shoddiness” that marks plagiarism generally in the for-personal-use sphere.

Such distortions are a deliberate effect engineered into the product; they communicate a message as sure as any 30-second commercial.

Thus, hands-on, craft modes are transferred from production to distribution. At one extreme, the workshop products of artists like Murakami or Koons reproduce and celebrate the last surreal bit of life in a post-consumer object-designer handbag, cast balloon sculpture-as it is re-distributed into an art afterlife. At another extreme, in an imagebased world, duplicity and authenticity require bruising an image so the overall process of production/duplication looks like an accident a blip on the surface 143

Ich bin nicht da

Hol auf. Hol mich ein!

Dinge verschwinden sobald sie benannt sind.

Es gibt eine Verbindung zwischen Sprache und Tod.

Was willst du?

Ich.. Wer spricht? Ich sagen..

Lauf zurück und hol mich ein!

Lauf vor, lauf voraus, hol mich ein!

Ein Lied zu Bildern, Bildern von Ketchup.

Ein Liebeslied.

Ein Lied für dich, Paul, Heinz, Mayo und eine englische Katze.

He!

Es gibt eine Verbindung zwischen Sprache und Tod. Sprache ist immer mit Tod verbunden.

Die Worte gehören mir nicht.

Es sind seine Worte, von denen ich lediglich gesprochen werde.

In anderen Worten.. Seinen?

Ich bin nicht in der Mitte deines Bildes.

Lieber Mayo Thompson..

Wir werden immer woanders jemand anderes sein.

Die Sprache macht ein Loch ins Reale.

Ich bin in der Mitte deines Bildes.

Ich bin nicht da.

Die Worte sind gestohlen, nie die ei–ge–nen, der Sprache gestohlen.

Das Ketchup von Heinz und Paul – gestoooohlen.

Die englische Katze aus seinem Homophon.

Dieses Lied – sing mit! – der Sprache erst gestern gestohlen.

Die Worte bringen die Dinge zum Verschwinden.

Lieber Mayo..

Wir werden immer woanders jemand anderes sein.

Jetzt da es benannt ist, es gesagt ist, wird etwas anderes sein, das gelesen werden oder rot sein kann oder etwas, das Mayo Thompson gesagt hat.

Das Symbol mordet zunächst die Dinge, ist eines jeden Dings verdammter Mord.

Tod in der Sprache. Tod in der Sp–raaaache.

Und es heißt, auch meine Abwesenheit, meine als Tod qualifizierte mögliche Abwesenheit ist – zunächst einmal – gegeben.

Und um wirklich und ganz und gar im Hier zu sein, muss ich sie auf eine Art sogar erleben.

Wir werden immer woanders jemand anderes sein.

Ich bin in der Mitte deines Bildes.

Ich bin nicht da.

Ich kann hier stehen – wie immer, selbst wenn ich tot bin.

Mal bin ich ich.

Mal du.

Und ich weiß noch nicht mal, was du willst – als ich.

Begehren ist Metonymie, Me–to–ny–mie, Me–to– nyyyy–mie, Me–to–ny–mieeee..

He!

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Merkwürdigerweise merkt mans nicht, sondern muss es vergessen haben, um zu sprechen.

Ein Lied auf den Lippen, muss man vergessen, dass die Worte einem nicht gehören.

Dear Mayo...

He! Sprache ist immer mit Tod verbunden.

Immer Wiederholung, das heißt Tod. Tod. Tod. Tod. Der tödliche Aspekt der Sprache, ihr mörderischer Effekt – Wiederholung – Wieder–hoooo–lung.

Voreilen, vergessen – ohne rot zu werden. Sing!

Die Sprache macht ein Loch ins Reale.

Ich bin nicht da.

Aber das Reale ist ihr voraus.

Wir laufen vor. Es bleibt ein Rest – immer. Das gleiche Lied. Zu spät, zu oft.

Los gehts!

Wo du mich findest? Dich? In der Sprache. Hier.

Ich bin in der Mitte deines Bildes.

Hol auf! Hol mich ein!

Man muss vergessen, dass die Worte einem nicht gehören.

Die Augen schließen vorm Loch im Realen.

In der Sprache erscheinen.

Wo ist sie? Wo ich? Wo ich als ich?

Hol auf! Hol mich ein!

Du! Jetzt da es benannt ist, es gesagt ist, wird etwas anderes sein, das gelesen werden oder rot sein kann oder etwas, das Mayo Thompson gesagt hat.

Ich sage Ich bin nicht da.

Hol auf! Hol mich ein!

In jedem catch up ist eine englische Katze.

Jetzt, da es benannt ist, man es sagt, wird etwas sein, sieh, das gelesen werden kann oder rot sein oder etwas das Mayo Thompson..

Warte!

murder of any thing.

Death in language. Death in lang–uaaaage.

And they say, also my absence, my possible absence, qualified as death, is – for a start – given.

And to actually and utterly be in the here and now, I even have to experience it in some way.

We will always be someone else elsewhere.

I am in the middle of your picture.

I am not there.

I may be written here – as always, even if I am dead.

Once I am I. Once you.

And I do not even know, what you want – as I. Desire is metonymy, me–to–ny–my, me–to–nyyyy– my, me–to–ny–myyyy..

Hey! Catch up. Catch up with me!

I am not there Things disappear as soon as they are named.

There is a relation between language and death.

A song to pictures, pictures of Ketchup.

A love song.

A song for you, Paul, Heinz, Mayo, and a cat.

There is a relation between language and death.

Language is always related to death.

Dear Mayo Thompson..

Language makes a hole into the Real.

I am in the middle of your picture.

I am not there.

The words make things disappear.

Dear Mayo..

We will always be someone else elsewhere.

Now, that it is named, it is said, there will be something else instead, that may be read or red or something Mayo Thompson said.

The symbol initially murders things, is the bloody

What do you want?

I.. Who speaks? To say I..

Run back and catch up with me!

Run forward, run ahead, catch up with me!

Hey! The words do not belong to me.

They are his words, I am merely spoken by.

In other words.. His? I am not in the middle of your picture.

We will always be someone else elsewhere.

The words are stolen, never one’s o–w–n, stolen from language.

The Ketchup from Heinz and Paul – stoooolen.

The cat stolen from its homophone.

This song – sing along! – stolen from language only yesterday.

Strangely enough one doesn’t notice this, but must have forgotten it in order to speak.

A song on the lips, one has to forget, that one does not possess words.

Dear Mayo...

Hey! Language is always related to death.

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Always repetition, that is to say, death. Death.

Death. Death.

Its deadly aspect, its murderous effect – repetition – re–pe–tiiii–tion.

To rush forward, to forget – without blushing. Sing!

1 (all, beginning) Props to unperform a signifying world. To undo while doing it

Language makes a hole into the Real.

I am not there.

But the Real is ahead of it.

I run ahead. It remains a rest – always. In the same kind of vein. Too late, too often.

2 (all) A wasted production.

Let’s rock!

3 (all) We acted as we knew. Yet, we don’t know each other.

Pure joy, pure ephemeral moments of representing togetherness.

You perform us when you see us. While we perform we have no consciousness, and no memory of what we have done.

You know more. You always know more than what you see.

Where you find me? You? In language. Here.

I am in the middle of your picture.

Catch up! Catch up with me!

One has to forget, that one does not possess words.

Closing one’s eyes in view of the hole in the Real.

To a–pp–eaeaeaear in language!

Where is it? Where I? Where I as I? Catch up! Catch up with me!

You! Now, that it is named, it is said, there will be something else, that may be read or red or something Mayo Thompson said.

I say I am not there.

Catch up! Catch up with me!

There is a cat in every catch up.

Now, that it is named, one says it, there will be something, see, that may be read or red or something Mayo Thompson..

Wait!

century

of

object

Friday, October 30, 2009 11:45 AM From: «yves mettler» <thelabel@ theselection.net> To: «Erin Olivia Weber» <crystalbeamslightmachine@yahoo. com>, «alexander wolff» <akontakt@ yahoo.com> that’s absurd they don’t have a ladder and so it’s inaccessible. i won’t travel now through the city with a ladder for smthg we don’t even know why to send it and what to do with it, whatever, i don’t care. best y B: -Why does Yves need a ladder to get the stuff that we need for this

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performance out of Erins apartment ?

A: - Because Erin is not in Europe right now, she’s in California.

B: - Yes, but why does he need a ladder for that?

A: - Because Erin lives in a closet, where she sleeps upstairs and where she stores her stuff now, while she’s away. She came to Berlin as a performance artist/ musician not knowing what exactly she would do there & met first me and then Yves and we started talking about our cultural backgrounds. Erin is constantly amused by things she picks up in German culture. Like this band ModernTalking.

Somebody made a shop window decoration out of their record sleeves and put it out on the street in Kreuzberg. For our performance we thought it would make a good curtain, or sort of carpet, basically some sculptural element in space, and it’s so funny european. “European?” says Yves, “what does that mean?”

He’s devoted his last 2 years travelling through different cities in Europe and comparing so - called “Europaplätze” in different cities with their respective city layouts, urban and social structures. Yves is a Europe prototype: grown up in Lausanne, bilingual in French and Germanand speaks perfectly English, lives in Berlin since 5 years after making his M.A. in Vienna. (...?)

At the same time like Modern Talking there was this swedish metal band Europe with their smash hit “ The final Countdown”. How European were they trying to be? Were they trying to overcome scandinavia? The lyrics sing: “We’re leaving together, but still it’s farewell, and maybe we’ll come back to Earth, who can tell? “ It’s the final countdown of a spaceship that departs from earth expecting to maybe not come back but to be welcomed by aliens. It seems a exaggerated european delusion comparable to Modern Talkings pseudo global sounding fictions of “Brother Louie” or “Gerominoe’s Cadillac”.

4 (covers, europaletten, piano snake, Europe song) How modern do we talk to each other? The past centuries of civilisation flow through our dancing legs. Up and down, the stream flows, pantha rei, from east to west. It never comes back.

Europe has left to the United states, and the old continent fell asleep. We are the dream. The long dream that goes on since half a century. And there will be no West anymore when we’ll wake up.

Modern Heads Talking Europe. Talking Heads singer David Byrne made that movie “true stories” about a fictitious small town in Texas. The Internet Movie Database Slogan says: “This could be your town, too!” and the little kids in it claim their rights singing: I want a stereo, I want a video, give me that rubber147

ball, yeah!. But Byrnes quality is to take his subjects serious and personal and he makes them totally likable. And all these depictions of so called white trash and the whole rotten lifestyle and ideology of capitalistic average consumer culture is all so true and so evident and unsurprising at the same time.

I painted a Chateaubriand steak and Pretzels at the performance because of their entanglements in the two continents history, wearing a basecap and a suit jacket and blue Jeans, Yves wears a Skater T-Shirt. Erin made us eat yellow fruits alluding to the yellow stars in the European flag. (...?) Finally we erected a construction from wooden boards painted with the flags of the countries of the European Union which crashed at the end of the performance and the song.

What could these painted pieces of wood have to do with this painted piece of cardboard that was a prop in our next performance? Both at first, are graphic, non representational, repetitive patterns. The pattern here on the cardboard is the derived from the BC Rich “Warlock”-guitar, which I played at parts in the performance. The outline of single guitar shapes were laid on top of each other to create a rhytmical pattern reminding of abstract compositions as they have appeared in the past years in the works of several abstract formalistic painters.

This second performance took place in a gallery, where some of these painters are exhibited, me included. There were several of these paintings hanging on the wall which was the set-up for our performance. Two months before I had sat in a pizzeria in Berlin with the art critic from London Michelle Cotton, and we were discussing the program and eventual qualities of this gallery, when she proclaimed: “Yes, but why does it all have to look so spiritual!”.

This sentence in the back opf my head was my approach to our performance.

Could it be that the BC Rich Warlock guitar form creates a quasi religious cult of followers who are playing only this guitar (like Kerry King of Slayer)?

Is it possible to exhibit it’s spiritual core or potency by weaving it into a multi coloured symmetrical pattern? (even if the colours were the only ones I had at home when we got started). How much are the works of early modernists and their involvement in spirituality like Kandinksy or Jawlensky responsible for the aestetics of heavy metal? Wasn’t the stratocaster, the most classical early electric guitar, somehow aligned to the idea of streamline design of the 50’s?

Obviously later variations in guitar design were developed in alignement parallel to product design. The Warlock is an axe crossed with a guitar executed in a most ourageous fantasy style, between Mad Max and Conan the Barbarian, designed in a times when heavy metal became popular as it will probably never be again. This guitar today is a reminiscence to the spirit of those days.

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5 (guitar painting, dreieck, piano snake) When the woman elevates from the guitar crate, the piano snake will lead her to the golden trinity! No, we just play a possible unfolding of events we think is delightful, might elevate our minds and yours from a routine we don’t like. We share dumped images, obsolete and powerful, bearing a heavy load of expressive potential. To express the possibility of expression in the integrated machinism.

Time travelling for amateurs, from Quetzalcoatl to the space elevator! the triangular golden painting: “triangles are your friends “ says the US painter Rebbecca Morris in her Manifesto For Abstractionists and friends of the non-objective, and also “When in doubt, spray paint it gold”. She wrote this in 2004/05 when abstract painting started to reached another climax in presence in the art world. A year before that we organised an exhibtion in the Cafe am Park (a coffeehouse) here in Vienna and pretended that there could be an Manifest der freien abstrakten Malerei nach der Periode ihrer Gentrifizierung und Kontextualisierung ( manifesto of free abstraction after its periods of gentrification and contextualization) which seemed like a considerable question and a joke at the same time.

6 (abstraction manifesto) How much abstraction do we need to make our world obsolete? Wir brauchen dringend neue Lügen, etc… (tocotronic). We need to build our models with the trash of the old, to make the old obsolete (buckminster fuller). Abstraction appears where the dominant representation systems are no more able to outline the landscape of our experience.

Nowadays the paintings look a bit different again, and some of then fashionable formalistic aestethics seem almost outdated and over-abused.

The eye in the pyramid, the all seeing eye, the eye of providence though we thought as a all encompassing motive on a painting that makes the abstraction discourse seem almost relative. (New Age, free masonry Erin! the snake...?) the triangle is a hermetic shape. we dipped our fingers into the eyes pupils and painted our faces half-tribal & half bauhaus.

The Oskar Schlemmer theater triadic ballet was also based on the number three: three primary colours; space & colour & form, circle & square& triangle, height & length & width.

This jacket I bought in a garage sale in Los Angeles for 3 $.

It embodied for me many contemporary styles that have been a tendency in 149

abstract painting and at the same time bridges the gap to a totally idosyncratic, esoteric state of mind that overcomes conceptual limitation towards a baroque or self-enjoyment-indulging aethetic. Pink and and golden black stripes alternate with soft shaded camouflage patterns, contrasted with printed depictions of flowers. Triangles outlined with silver glitter are sewn on top of this section that stands out of the golden shiny fabric. Like in the case of Rebecca Morris, the gold is able to erase all doubts about a justified choice of colour or motive.

Glittery and flowery could maybe lead the look to a better life, which has been the idea of hippies already in the 60’s and this finds its way back into the wish for innocence and purity in perception, of an art beyond conceptualisation - along with what’s called nowadays romantic conceptualism.

11 (abstract manifsto, making perfomances) The real space resists. The symbolic space resists. The imaginary space hits, hits and hits again to enter, to inavde, to undo the ties.

We reassemble ourselves again and again. We are here, We were there, faceless, nameless. Can you feel the joy in our voices? Don’t judge those voices, be part of it!

The coffee machines that Yves found in the wasteland that he was researching about amused us so much. Homeless people setting up their temporary shelters under a blanket between the blackberry bushes need to be equipped with a coffee machine, too! Get up and take care of business, is what the coffee machine says, or get your stuff together or speed up - energies up! Coffee’s got the reputation of an optimizer of ourselves for our roles in society.

10 (coffee objects, metal coffe song, ts eliot, cuttings) Keep your hot coffee close to your chest. Have the heat covering your heart.

Coffee is the new god, the two-faced god of work and leisure, of dispossession of your labour and your spirit.

We love coffee! Coffee machines spread in the landscape of wasted bodies.

Organic masks with no eyes. Disinformed skulls of newspaper covered zombies.

The scars rest deep under the skin, teenage doodling, first martyrs of the religion.

While Yves an I were were sitting on the floor glueing and chicken-wiring those objects together, Erin would sit on the computer and find music pieces that would thrill our curiosities: (nowDethklok:”Do you folks like coffee, real coffee from the hills of Columbia etc. “ ) Needless to say that this jingle ideally illustrated 150

I am in the middle of your picture¹ Ich bin nicht da, respectively I am not there, connects four or five pictures of ketchup with two texts in the form of pop song lyrics. The song relates in German and English the odd relationship between death and language, and addresses Mayo Thompson, Paul (McCarthy) and Heinz (Ketchup). Ketchup is reminiscent of red colour and performance blood, and its homophone, »catch up«, allows this song to become a love song.

Catch up! Catch up with me!

Sometimes works rub off onto other works or formats like invitation cards, newsletters, press releases or websites, either the gallery’s or mine.

Two four-piece series of new a-works each display, almost completely in white and green, four holes of little a-letters in various fonts² like stains on almost identical white or green surfaces.

These a-hole-stains nearly disappear into white or green monochrome pictures. Here the hole-stains of the little a’s represent again the objet petit a, according to Lacan the object cause of desire.

One of the green a objet petit a-pictures has a strawberry-jam-stain on the edge of its mat. The strawberry-jam-stain will, in the course of time, continue to slip a little further down. Thus the additional two editions of the green a objet petit a-pictures vary slightly from the ones shown here.

All pictures and texts shown are pigment prints.

Pigment prints are ‘extra flat’, that is, the colour totally penetrates into the paper. The white edge of the mat is merely the enlargement of the canvas size in photoshop. The strawberry-jam-stain is as flat, and on the same plane, as the green surface or the edge of the mat itself.

You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs.

Das Lied von den Traurigen Bäckern, and The Song of the Happy Bakers are two textual works in the form of pop song lyrics. For this exhibition, they are illustrated with pictures of raw or freshly baked pretzels, each with a text- or a picturetext-stain. Das Lied von den Traurigen Bäckern (The Song of the Sad Bakers) tells of Bäcker (bakers) who are sad, because they do not have a little a, but only a little ä in their name. The Song of the Happy Bakers is about bakers that are happy, because they have a little a, the object cause of desire, in their name. The text-stain is an

excerpt of an interview with Paul McCarthy about talking to oneself during performances, and the picture-text-stain is a picture from the Internet showing Mark Leckey during a performance at Gavin Brown’s enterprise in New York. The accompanying text indicates that the colours in this exhibition are borrowed from this picture.

Lisa, we are so happy, so glaaaad!

(2x) Somebody is wearing a golden necklace with a small golden pendant in the form of a carrot, silver with gold plating (Design Melanie Haarhaus). Via the golden carrot, the carrot in front of the nose in language, the theme of desire almost literally reappears.

I cannot even tell you, how happy I am.

1

»I am in the middle of your picture« is a line from All I need by Radiohead, first cited in Vier Pressetexte (2009), and then again in I am not there (2011).

2 White: Bitstream Vera Serif, Impact (2x), Hot Pizza, green: Akashi MF, Gather BRK, Jargon BRK, AkzidenzGroteskBE MdExt

The beginning of The Passing

Colour passes, permeates the glass; comes out of the picture.

Hommelettes1 pass under doors, are ultra-flat, for passing under doors.

Omelette(s) passing under doors Hommelettes as omlettes. About/ Above omelettes, doors.

The Passing Under works, variations/bastards of the Omelette(s) passing under doors works: About/Above hommelettes, doors.

151

What would be hommelettes?

Cf. a tennis ball, Ei Arakawa, a Kinder Egg, ..

About/Above doors. What would be doors?

Cf. a cursor (Cursor 4, 2012) a spaghetti, a poem (Poem1, 2011/12), .. 1.) Works as doors.

And once passing over something red and white (Untitled, 2006).

Where is the middle of your picture?

Nothing is right in the middle.

Performances like Making omelettes, you cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs or Yellow or mini events like the enacting of some of the pictures that visualise the passing under doors, as well as a jingle, follow.2 And then, what will be doors?

Love me two times.3

L.H. 2012

1 J. Lacan’s notion hommelette means both “omelette” and “little feminine man”. This hommelette is the objet petit a (the object cause of desire) in its purest form, as life instinct; the organ of the libido; an infinitely plastic object that cannot only incessantly change its form, but can even transpose itself from one to another medium ;..; ultra-flat for passing under doors; ..

2 The performative part will take place in Berlin,

on a weekend in June, as part of dingum (organized

by Dennis Oliver Schroer and Hannes Schmidt).

3 Love me two times, The Doors, 1967

Omelette passing under doors, 2012 152

Pigment print on cotton paper, 88 x 68 cm, framed, edition 3+1

Omelette passing under door, 2012 Pigment print on cotton paper, 88 x 68 cm, framed, edition 3+1

Tennis ball passing under cursor, 2012 Pigment print on cotton paper, acrylic paint, 88 x 68 cm, framed, edition 3+1(the 2nd edition varies)

Ei passing under spaghetti, 2012 Pigment print on cotton paper, acrylic paint, 88 x 68 cm, framed, edition 3+1

Kinder Egg passing under poem, 2012 Pigment print on cotton paper, 88 x 68 cm, framed, edition 3+1

Omelette passing over something red and white, 2012 Pigment print on cotton paper, 88 x 68 cm, framed, edition 3+1 The beginning of The Passing Part Two - A Passing WE Hommelettes1 pass under doors, are ultra-flat, for passing under doors.

Omelette(s) passing under doors Hommelettes as omlettes. About/ Above omelettes, doors.

The Passing Under works, variations/bastards of the Omelette(s) passing under doors works: About/Above hommelettes, doors.

What would be hommelettes?

Cf. Ei Arakawa, a Kinder Egg, blue, ..

About/Above doors. What would be doors?

Cf. a spaghetti, a poem (Poem1, 2011/12), .. 1.), pink, Go Blonder shampoo, Merely A (The big Other), k version, 2011, .. 1.) Works as doors.

And once passing over something red and white (Untitled, 2006).

Sundays Colour. From Saturday to Sunday particular colours from within two pictures will permeate the glas of the frames and come out of the works. The passing of colour2.

Where is the middle of your picture?

Nothing is right in the middle.

L.H. 2012

To Make Omelettes, You cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs1 Japanese To Make Omelettes, You cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs2 French Saturdays Japanese, Sundays French, .. omelettes.

Yellow On/off, glasses are touched with yellow before drinks are served, parting with colour. The passing of colour1.

And colour again Colour passes, permeates the glass; comes out of the picture. (2x)

A Jingle follows A Jingle for The Passing WE played after and/or before each performance or mini event.

Door relations. Relations to doors.

For passing under/through doors without opening doors.

And then, what will be doors?

Love me two times.2

1 J. Lacan’s notion hommelette means both “omelette” and “little feminine man”. This hommelette is the objet petit a (the object cause of desire) in its purest form, as life instinct; the organ of the libido; an infinitely plastic object that cannot only incessantly change its form, but can even transpose itself from one to another medium ;..; ultra-flat for passing under doors; ..

2 Love me two times, The Doors, 1967

Omelette passing under doors, 2012 Pigment print on cotton paper, acrylic paint, 88 x 68 cm, framed, edition 3+1 Omelette passing under door, 2012 Pigment print on cotton paper, 88 x 68 cm, framed, edition 3+1 Omelette passing under door, 2012 Pigment print on cotton paper, 88 x 153

68 cm, framed, edition 3+1 Omelette passing under Merely A, 2012 Pigment print on cotton paper, 88 x 68 cm, framed, edition 3+1 Omelette passing under pink, 2012 Pigment print on cotton paper, 88 x 68 cm, framed, edition 3+1 Blue passing under Go Blonder shampoo, 2012 Pigment print on cotton paper, 88 x 68 cm, framed, edition 3+1 Ei passing under spaghetti, 2012 Pigment print on cotton paper, acrylic paint, 88 x 68 cm, framed, edition 3+1 Kinder Egg passing under poem, 2012 Pigment print on cotton paper, 88 x 68 cm, framed, edition 3+1 Omelette passing over something red and white, 2012 Pigment print on cotton paper, 88 x 68 cm, framed, edition 3+1

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carrot carving - how to carve a flower HOW TO DO A CARROT DAISY BY CHEF JACKY ROBERT ?

How To Carve Thai Vegetables: Star Carrots 私的彫刻装飾 Julienne de carotte Art in Carrot Show- Fruit Carving Rose Tutorial September carvings #2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLUc57A_7yQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTZeYuEnruc&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7yfG8k_xiE&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ViFipW9iIU&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdgfYsKH1wI&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-C57otz31U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNWbdDJTcr8&feature=endscreen&NR=1

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156

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Japanese basics: thin omelette (usuyaki tamago) posted on 13 Dec 2003 by maki :: 16 comments (This is a revised and expanded version of a recipe that I posted when Just Hungry was brand new.)

Japanese people love eating eggs in many ways. One of the most popular uses for the egg is to make a very thin omelette called usuyaki tamago (literally, thinly cooked egg).

Usuyaki tamago is used julienned as a garnish, or as a wrapper for sushi rice and other things.

Japanese thin omelette (usuyaki tamago) • 1 egg

• 1 Tbs. water or dashi stock • 1 tsp. sugar • dash of salt • 1 tsp. cornstarch or potato starch

a minute or so. It’s done when the edges are dry and the top is just about cooked.

(_katakuriko_), dissolved in 1 Tbs. water - optional • peanut oil or similar flavorless oil for cooking

Loosen up the edges with a spatula, then flip the pan upside down onto a plate - the omelette should flop out, like a crepe. Let cool.

Beat the egg and water or dashi together. Add the sugar and salt and beat until dissolved. The cornstarch is optional, but it does add some more strength and stability fo the thin egg. You may want to use cornstarch when you are making usuyakitamago for wrapping something in.

You should get about 3 usuyaki tamago per egg. If you find the pan is getting too hot and the egg is browning too much, cool off the pan by pressing it lightly on a folded moistened kitchen towel.

To ensure a very smooth egg batter, strain the beaten egg mixture through a sieve or a large-mesh tea strainer.

Heat up a nonstick frying pan over a low-medium heat and coat with a little oil: Pour some into the pan, then use a paper towel to spread it around and wipe up any excess oil.

Add a little of the egg mixture (how much depends on the size of your frying pan, but for a small 18cm/6 inch pan allow about 1/8th cup) and rapidly swirl it around until it just coats the bottom.

Cook on low heat just until the egg is set - this should only take

This is how you should cook an omelet. If I have to judge how good technically a chef is, I probably would ask him to do an omelet.

It is difficult to make a real good omelet, and there is different type of omelet. I’m going to show you two type of omelet, a kind of country French omelet which is basically the way we do it in America, and then a classic French omelet. One is not better than the other. It’s just a different technique, a different taste, a different look, that you have in it. In the first one, I’m doing a an omelet with four eggs here, in the first one, salt, that’s the pepper, all I’m going to do is to stir it well first, and cook it, so that I have fairly large curde of egg, and slightly brown all around which is the look and the taste, that we want to do, country-like, a little piece of butter in there. And, I have 159

here a beautiful pan, because that pan doesn’t have any corner, you see that, a beautiful sway, it’s a non-sticking pan, so it’s ideal, it’s an omelet pan, actually.

Now noting, that my eggs to start with, I have no pieces of egg white hanging, so it’s not like you just stir the egg back and force, you have to go from one hand to the other to really break it, so that you don’t have any long piece of egg white, otherwise you have those uh becoming white in the plate uh in in in the skillet, that it cook. So, what we do here in the country omelet, let it brown a little bit, see the eggs the the butter here will be brown a little bit which in the classic omelet, I don’t want too brown. So clean up your pan good. And here, you don’t have to worry too much, you move it occasionally to take the large curde like this, and those large curde, replace them by liquid. This will be totally different in the classic French omelet, where I move the mixture very very fast, as fast as I can to have the smallest possible curde. No browning at all, because the browning will toughen the albumin. I want something very tender, and very soft in the classic French omelet. In the country style is different. Now, how long do you cook it, it’s entirely up to you, you can have it slightly wet in the center, I like it a bit wet, I would say, that here my omelet is still a little bit wet here which is the way I like it personally. But I would probably brown it just a minute or so, then kind of fold it in half like this. I would at that point maybe put a little piece of extra butter, if I want, in the bottom here to brown the bottom of my omelet, and now I’m ready to invert the omelet. This way here, you change hand, you crab the handle this way, you bang it a little bit to make it slide to the end, and you turn it up-side-down. You have a nice, beautifully brown omelet.

This is the country omelet, but you can see, fairly large curde, and all this. One way of doing it. Now, for the classic French omelet the technique is different.

First, clean up your plate, your skillet rather, put it there. I have a great amount of heat on that per on that pan, and this is what I want for an omelet, and now as you see, it is a gas stove, and of course the gas is going to be much better than electric, because you want to have the flame to go around, and a good stove should give you a great amount of heat for an omelet, as well as at a very

This is about boredom and its relation to things we know are repeated. A poem should act in a similar way. It should be very repetitive. It should be on the outside not the inside of itself. It should never attach itself to anything, or anyone who is alive, especially the speaker who rightly speaking constitutes the end of the poem. In this way, it should create something that looks like it has been “sent away for”. Richard Prince said that.

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I wanted reading to be less not more narrow as a practice. I have linked this, in earlier work, to notions of ambience but here it’s directed at an array of reading platforms. I mean is there really a need for such a valorative distinction on two modes of reading or to bring them into an antagonistic (high/low; focussed/distracted) position? Who benefits from this? Can we really even make such a hard and fast distinction? I’m not positive.

This is a poem about boredom and its relation to the things that we know are not repeated. It should not describe but only skim (biographical) material we already knew. It should exist on the edge of something that is no longer funny.

In this way, it should create the meaningless passing of time, like disco music.

A poem should have died just before we got to it. Like the best and most meticulous scolarship, the poem should be as inert and dully transparent as possible. T.S. Eliot said that.

I am not sure what reading is supposed to do or how it is supposed to do it. Is Heath literature? Is that the only framework that will work for it? I hope not. But of course, that is one of the frameworks that the book seeks to both address and get away from. And of course, Heath has footnotes but they’re not really pointing

to something elucidatory, something outside that can explain the text from the inside. They are more like street signs to something outside the text and they are a bit inert. But maybe this is no different from Eliot’s footnotes to The Waste Land, which are serious and a joke.

This is a poem about boredom and its relations to the things that were not said. A poem is what it is not. It should merely involve the passing of its own temporal constraints. In this way, it can repudiate all emotions except mechanical or chemical ones.

After all, the emotions in us are usually dead (and can only be revived by chemicals), and the only emotions that we really could be said to have are the ones we already had.

Maybe this is more easily stated this way, with the two statements separated by a /. Reading Heath is HARD. It’s hard to parse, it’s hard to figure out what it “means.” / No, reading Heath is EASY. If you just relax a little and let yourself move freely through the text, if you skip over half of it because you already get it, which is what anyone does when they jump from one link to another link.

We live in an age when we are constantly told lies, made the subject of jokes, seduced by fluff and hyped with misinformation. Poetry should no longer represent the representa161

tion of knowledge, it should represent the dissemination of misinformation and lies. It should aspire to ever more bureaucratic forms of data transmission and delivery.

Of course, and here is the rub, reading Heath is difficult if you conceive of the book as the product of a unified sensibility, of “trying” to figure out how it all coheres rather than as a series of loosely annotated notes to cultural production and reading practices conceived more generally or generically or ambiently.

Reading and writing have gotten easier to perform in a social space, i.e., a kind of reduce reuse recycle revise in the language ecosystem, so I was trying to align or even ally avant garde practice with what I see is an actual and contemporary sphere of cultural text production that is less hindered by notions of difficulty, perceived autonomy from the market/mass exchange forms, popular formats, and notions of individual ownership vis a vis intellectual property, etc.

A poem, like the 70’s, is just another way of inducing a series of unforgivable likenesses. Warhol said of his art that “if you don’t think about it, it’s right”. Listening to a poem or novel or newspaper should be like that; it should be camouflaged into the large shapes of the patterns of words that surround us and evoke the most diffuse and unrecognizable moods that a culture produces.

I simply wanted to ask: what happens when you bring notions of cultural distribution, social networking, dispersed multiple authorship into the sphere of difficult, serious, academic literature?

No one should remember a poem or a novel, especially the person who wrote it.

Heidegger was right; one is never without a mood.

So I am very interested in what I would term “social reading” on the periphery of one’s attention or something inexact like that. And this is probably because I have been distracted as a reader but I think all reading is reading with distractions.

All talk is nothing but a form of latent imagery and noise dispersion.

All speech should be televised for maximum effect.

All talk is nothing but a form of latent imagery and noise dispersion.

All speech should be televised for maximum effect.

All talk should aspire to the impermanent repeatability of a disco beat.

Only in such a way does a word flower in the brain.

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Why not generate avant garde work that is easy and relaxing and mildly original? Isn’t that what most writers do anyway? Jerry McGann has written about expanding the book beyond notions of authorship and into what he calls the bibliographic condition, Matthew Kirschenbaum has called attention to forensic materialism vis a vis specific data storage platforms in relation to processing more generally, and Rachel Malik has written about the horizon of the publishable as an expanded frame for the understanding of text production.

I would have to say that I was interested in doing something similar, but within the confines of a single book regarded as a relaxation parameter with a specific set of affordances.

A great poem, like Ronald Reagan, lies without knowing it. Lies are the most mechanical forms of speech known to man and his noises.

The project: relax the avant garde.

Why? because the avant garde feels tired in its gestures, feels like it has to plagiarize to “make a statement.”

Or feels like it has to resort to appropriation as something incendiary, as something neo-avant garde and from an earlier era. But appropriation is no longer avant garde. It’s standard practice in and out of the classroom.

Is appropriation in “experimental literature” still “experimental”? I don’t think so.

Pure repetition involves recognition of previous sounds in the shortest of attention spans: the span between two words. Unfortunately, the voice occasionally flutters or expresses random ambient soundburts (nonrepetitive patterns). Even now as I speak, the human voice is strangely inhuman and mechanical, plagued by poor transmission, errors and and mechanical repetition.

I wanted something—maybe it wasn’t even a book—that was freely acknowledged to be not an individual product and not laborious. There was a lot of labor employed to produce this text, but most of it wasn’t mine—it was outsourced, which is a perfectly legal way of getting someone else to do one’s work for one.

You pay them for it. You circulate it to generate value. This is particularly true in the cultural sphere.

Poetry should not be written to be written, it should be written to be listened to, it should not be written to be remembered or absorbed, it should be written to be forgotten.

I think the more complicated issue here is that between plagiarism and appropriation. I feel that the use of appropriation is clouded by all sorts of neo romantic avant-garde practices and ideologies—and involves saying something like “look at me, I stole something” on the quasi-legal end of 163

the spectrum and “look at me make something new out of something old” on the other end of the spectrum, though the latter has collapsed somewhat into the former. Appropriation is back in a major way, in the art world and in the poetry world and I started asking myself why. Reading, most reading, is easy and superficial, like appropriation. But I am interested in the manner of appropriation and the manner of reading.

Poetry, like drugs, should not be difficult, it should be easy. Poetry should not be interesting, it should hold out the potential to be very insipid. Boring is the least of what most people have always realized, evidenced by the large numbers of Americans who have never read a poem. Poetry should not be uplifting, it should inspire a deep sense of relax. Poetry need not say anything important or humanly meaningful, it should merely evoke a mood. That mood resembles the sound of a sunset. Jack Spicer understood that all unsaid words are painful to listen to. They are better to look at. That is why Jack Spicer is a beautiful poet.

Really, I like appropriation but it’s only appropriation, it’s only what most people do most of the day anyway.

What does it mean to stop reading a poem? It means that one is tired.

164

This leads to a recognition: today, appropriation, in the experimental literary and in the art world, tends to dramatize itself by calling itself “plagiarism” even though it is just plain appropriation or unacknowledged citation. This is why I put plagiarism in the title.

The end of summer is the end of the things I do not remember. There is no longer time for protestation in language. Poetry should not be performed, it should merely be listened to. The time for conscious experimentation and ego, which is its logical extension, should be replaced by unconscious repetition and listening.

All poems should be rewritten over and over again and exist in as many versions as possible.

Appropriation per se is no longer shocking—it is just part of our reading cultural environment where information is exchanged continually and for the most part freely. Heath is not meant to be shocking or hard to read.

It may not even be literature. It may just be a platform, like the web, or like an index card, or like a footnote to something hors texte. I wanted to extroject literature, maybe even serious literature, or maybe “less serious” literature, into a larger reading/ cultural environment to see what would happen. And the answer is: probably very little!

Pier Paolo Pasolini died leaving behind him almost 600 pages of an unfinished roman-fleuve he saw as running to 2000 pages. In an interview in Stampa Sera of 10 January 1975 he spoke of it as a compendium of all his experiences and memories. This ultimate work is at once mythological - « My story is not a story but a parable »; everyday – the project was inspired by a political/financial/ oil industry scandal, and Pasolini draws directly and extensively on the press of the time; aesthetic and political – his concern about the return of fascism in the consumer society goes hand in hand with the invention of new forms of writing; literary and cinematic – excerpts from Dostoievsky’s The Possessed are included word for word, and the work was written while he was making A Thousand and One Nights and Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom; and novelistic and critical – he had decided « not to write a story, but to construct a form. » Drawing on the distinction made by Russian Formalist Victor Shklovski, his novel is not, he says, linear like meat speared and cooked on a skewer, but a « swarming» : the point is not to create a succession of episodes, but to throw episodes together and give birth to something which, given the book’s multiple, polyphonic character, will be closer to poetry than to any strictly novelistic form. To achieve his purposes, Pasolini resorts to dividing his hero, Carlo, in two. A crucial « disorder » factor, this binary separation is followed by a host of similar occurrences, among them several changes of sex by one of the two characters.

Clearly, then, the Doppelgänger is not a matter of temporal recall, of a copying, of the game of the return of forms. It is not an outcome, an end in itself; it is a mode of production of the work of art whose existential, experiential aspect is constantly reasserted.

Echoing Antonin Artaud’s famous declaration, « I am separate », the exhibition The Separate will set out to evoke the figure of the subject and of a possible originary duality often experienced as a rending and as a factor for disturbance as well as for novelising: a double born of a scission, incompletely other. A movement the work records or transmits, even as it is permeated by it. The works making up the The Separate exhibition are, like Claire Fontaine and Karl Holmqvist’s neon piece Untitled (The Weeping Wall inside us All), which will be present in all three exhibitions, are the clue, the narrative, the account, the still palpable effect of this movement. Whether images of the very act of separation (Cécile Dauchez), of possible mental or psychological structures (Koenraad Dedobbeleer, David Lamelas), or of effects of this primordial separation (Bruant 165

French youth in rolled-up jeans over custom-made boots has no patience with establishment eating rituals. Fast food. Quick snack. Stand-up. Grilled meats. À la minute. Pizza. The owner of Fauchon eats string beans for lunch. His wife nibbles bean sprouts and a single perfect strawberry. When Everyman tries to zip himself into all those nifty costumes designed for skinny hairdressers… Voilà le régime. The drinking man’s diet. The great chef Paul Bocuse himself, lion of Lyon, sounds the doom. Bocuse has just shed 30 pounds. He is talking about the irresistible lure of mass-packaging his heroic loup en croûte… thaw, shake and bake, Monsieur Paul’s frozen loup.

Wine gets depressed at times too. They say if you put away a sulking vintage for a while, it will come back. I can’t believe the Great Gods of Gastronomy are permanently on ice. Indeed, to the abused, sheltered, cliché-haunted food lover of New York, the French depression is scarcely noticeable. Prices are high. But we pay more for mediocrity in Manhattan than we pay for euphoria here. True, Parisians hosts have their own little tyrannies. And French chefs are seduced by their own clichés. Green peppercorns are obligatory. Fowl sauced in wine vinegar is everywhere. Puff-pastry bunting is a feverish craze, and two sauces on every dish is the ultimate in haute.

Even the cult of simplicity here is not the pursuit of mass mediocrity. Simplicity in France is the freshest fish, respectfully braised, or the just-born string bean, exquisitely dressed. Never abandon hope for a nation that devotes so much passion to cheese and so much fantasy to an ugly little fungus like the truffle.

Though the grillade faith flourishes and some Michelin-starred institutions crack, a generation of ambitious young chefs practice brilliant alchemy. You needn’t be born in a Velveeta cocoon to be seduced bay their dazzle.

I could not feel richer if diamonds were edible and I’d just been served Elizabeth Taylor’s jewel box. Here simplicity is a game—like upholstering a precious Louis XIV armchair in gingham—and a freak of fate: the cramped few feet of space in what must once have been a seedy little bar in a desolate blue-collar suburb. Enter through the backyard garden, knock, check your Ungaro trenchcoat across from the blue-and-white porcelain sink, and then wait: an hour and a half sipping champagne. Then settle, gingerly, shoulder pressed against a rustic support beam, two inches away from a Belgian carpet mogul. The spirit is rustic— handsomely, almost preciously so: champagne iced in heavy crocks, cheese arranged on a butcher’s block to be tugged across the narrow aisle for your contemplation, real knives with heavy wooden handles, and the host’s orangesmocked wife, a dimple milk-maid. Strangers are shouting to each other across 166

I just met Sietsma a few weeks ago, been reading him forever. The Voice is now deaf, dumb, blind and on a juice fast.

Off the radar yesterday. Missed Village Voice suicide rampage. Firing Robert Sietsma, Musto, Feingold like cutting out their heart & brain. Öffnen Join me at RockCenter Garden for glorious Citymeals Chefs Rumble June10,get $200 off ticket w/my code CMOWGG pic.twitter.com/ W64RKaIumv Son Nico just sent foto of Steven “Stevie Wonder.” Was it his 52nd birthday? He would have been 75 today. pic.twitter.com/HXiVjdbqrg I’ll miss Michael’s great food(tho not the bad boy) but it’s poetry he finds stardom in the home he left 25 years ago.

My deli choice used to be corned beef, tongue & swiss cheese with cole slaw&Russian dressing at Carnegie before they went Disneyworld.

Reading new late hours at Katz’s deli in bed lasngt http://bit.ly/10K8nh2 Wanted to rush downtown 4 a pastrami Reuben.Tho it isnt my thing.

Agreed not to shoot Jeter but captured happy local at Carbone lasngt.

pic.twitter.com/Oo8qQJmkbE Old pal Michael Bao Huynh sends foto from Saigon labelled “me and my sous chef” pic.twitter.com/kWdr3vusqO Derek Jeter in back room corner lasngt, urging fone-foto-bugs not 2 shoot. Waiter didnt do our Ceasar tableside but did it for Jeter I love arugula, fennel can be neither here nor there. Non-committal Most kales I have bumped into were unpleadant to eat.Now&then, a salad surprises me.Battersby’s was good.

Feel a soft spot for the hunger of Gazans & the smuggler bringing them KFC fried chicken from Egypt thru tunnels. http://nyti. ms/18N9VNG Yes, I was an idiot to skip Woodstock in my friends’ trailer w/ice. But I’lll skip Googamooga, too. http://bit. ly/17suLmt Read my intern’s Shake Shack Shakedown in honor of newest outpost opening May 24 at JFK. Danny Meyer flies lst class. http:// bit.ly/12dLHXP It took this long for NYTimes to acknowledge how hot kale is? Excuse me for being unfashionable. I find 167

Most kale inedible.

My gourmand landlord reports $68 tasting Zak Palaccio’s new resto in Hudson. “Ambitious&successful” pic.twitter.com/4FtHjpi8R5

Read Naomi Barry on the treasury of Gastronomy Books at Remi Flachard’s shop 9 Rue du Bac in the 7th http://bit.ly/15MAqnS Hunger 4 menus

Self-exiled playboy Michael Bao Huynh lost his shirt in NYC but thrives in new Vietnamese restaurant role. pic.twitter.com/YCghzkhuKZ

Jane Freiman& I fed Jame Beard @ dinner in my WEA aptmt with spinach-ricotta gnudi fr/ Naomi Barry’s first cookbook. 2 dumb 2 be intimidated.

Polls’ newest Hendricks (where GeoWashgton ate breakfast) a steakhouse with everything else. Pollstyle. pic.twitter.com/ZGBG42WMt5

I remember my first year in Paris at the age of 17, the aura of Naomi Barry as a food diva. She was active and feisty till the end.

Old friend Gillis Poll now L.I.resto mogul, This lasngt from Toku, his Asian fusian. Excellent shrimp dum sum.

Free Haagen-Dazs ice cream cones 4-8pm tdy Read about early HaagenDazs scam http://tinyurl.com/d9or2wk

My niece Pamela just sent me this new hat. Red. How perfect. Very me. pic.twitter.com/lZJaAL1jl8

Guests invited to dinner w/ Prince Harry@FourSeasons tonight to benefit Brother Will&Royal Charity hoped to see Will&Kate w/bun-inoven2.

Zak Palaccio fans can find him starting tonight at his new Fish & Game in Hudson. I used to have a house nearby. Gotta hitch a ride now.

Where would you go for best pizza on UWS. We used to go to Celeste.

Got any other favorites?

I never sought to limit salt http://nyti. ms/19oqYmJ only to end oversalting that hides flavor. Like Fairway deli tuna sunday.Double-salted.

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Just how casual is ABC Cocina?Well the host-manager was wearing shorts SatNight. Popsicles? http:// bit.ly/124P832 pic.twitter.com/ZuPfHkeOaN Jean-Geo thinks ABCCocina is darker, cheaper,more casual than ABCKitchen next door.Read BITE http://bit.ly/124P832 pic.twitter. com/vEBxrYkYSY

Food writer friend fr/Chicago using some of my suggestions loved Atlantic Grill, La Mangeoire and apres theater at La Recette.

White has Centolire and the Butterfly supposedly opening soon, but cudnt wait to launch Costata with crudi,homemade pastas&meat.

EverAmbitious MichaelWhite get revenge of sorts on ex-partner Steven Hanson by opening Costata Firday on SpringSt where Fiamma used to be.

Son Nico in Denver this weekend sent these beautiful flowers filling my office with spring. love the ivory roses. pic.twitter.com/Ths4iLg3xK Sfoglia dinner lasngt. Great lentil soup.garganelli w/brusselsprouts, squash&chili.canneloni w/ beeffcheeks,walnuts. famous bread pudding.

Foodies will want Keller’s Buchon Bakery book even tho it’s too big to actually use. Maybe u can xerox HoHo recipe & nibble the page.

Do they let the woman in the Graff ad wear the diamonds to parties?The ring in the Times ad today so heavy she can barely lift her hand Never got to Brimfield.So many flea

markets NYC, Paris,Rome,India.

Loved weekly market in Beijing I was too high to recall the quail egg but there were two little croque monsieur sandwiches.

DUMBO was our first factory & shop! We opened this month in 2000. 12 years in #NewYork 66 Water St Brooklyn WarmUp w/my novels,trashy&fun.

Blue Skies,NoCandy http://amzn.to/ kYhw5u DoctorLove. http://amzn. to/zVEdzpDownload now. #fb pic. twitter.com/bPKEBTi8 Vintage brooches&evening bags.

Kitchen collectibles.Shop my office flea market. http://conta.cc/S5nYco Tole coal scuttle pic.twitter.com/ gAPTPIyd I promised a photo of the dazzling cheese service at PerSe private lunch yesterday.

Do your gift shopping on West 73rdSt. http://conta.cc/S5nYco seed pearl&rhinestone purse.

Cupcake Vineyard Truck giving away free cupcakes 12:30-2:30 50thSt bet 6th&7th avenues. (on 42nd bet 5-6th avs right now) ThomasKeller’s big,beautiful new “BouchonBakry” answers his own question: Why on earth do I have 169

five bakeries?

Discover Crave Fishbar open now 4 lunch http://bit.ly/W8hebA Here’s the bluefish salad.

Boulud compained again about my critique of his fish@PlazaAthenee.I sed if I hadn’t made U angry,U’d never be the global mogul U R today.

We were 23 people and 3000 wine glasses.Decadent? Yes. But most of us are also big Citymeals supporters too.

Just back from Bob&Joel’s sensuous wine lunch@PerSe. Knocked out by the brilliance of the cheese “tree.”Friend promised to send me a foto.

Vintage black velvet evening bagshop my flea market. http://conta. cc/S5nYco Stunned w/sensation&pleasure by chef Hiroki Abe’s omakase @ EnJapanese Brasserie lastngt.

BarryWine gives Abe Japanese doll ring.

Forget 50 Shmifty Shades... Blue Skies No Candy @GaelGreene is the real deal They REALLY partied in the 70s!! http://amzn.to/kYhw5u 8 Dez Kathleen Lavery ‫@‏‬DrTutu 170

@GaelGreene my family are breakfast pie eaters too. Looks good.

8 Dez The Braiser ‫@‏‬TheBraiser Gift-to-self ideas: snag @ GaelGreene’s 1976 erotic novel ‘Blue Skies, No Candy’ on Kindle for $5! http://thebraiser.com/rodlx @Tiranduil Normally cooks cook&the chef supervises.But we say chef de cuisine,pastry chef. Chef Andre Soltner says:”We are only cooks.” @GaelGreene cloud you please define the terms “cook” and “chef” for me please Amanda Cohen on Dirt Candy, KarenPage&AndrewDornenburg on The Flavor Bible Sat noon-2 UnionSquare Greenmkt Pavilion.

I was the only 1 at our table tasting glorious salsas @Empellon Cocina lasngt but everyone loved carrot salad.

Prisoners fold cigarette packs 2 weave into objects,like this hand bag&its matching wallet.Buy it.http://conta.cc/S5nYco pic.twitter. com/sY0EDlzD BRGuest handsout free scratch cards 12:12 today sharp 2all guests (except Strip Hpuse) honoring 12/12/12.

Vintage brooches&evening bags,old grocery tins&kitchen collectibles.

Shop my flea market.http://conta. cc/S5nYco #fb pic.twitter.com/ JG99YkdF Marvelous birthday feast@ EmpellonCocina 4 Peter lasngt.L Fluke ceviche thrills in buttermilk w/passionfruit juice,roasted carrot mole salad.

Ed’s Surf&Turf entree: Buttermilk fried chicken w/two claws & his mustard sauce. Wish I had a photo.I’ll be checking it out.

Stone crab just in@ Ed’sChowderHouse (our advertiser).3 big crab claws w/ Ed’smustard sauce $23.Crispy knuckles w/smoky key lime sauce $17.@fb Christmas shopping for one-of-akind treasures without the crowds.

Check out today’s ForkPlay. http:// conta.cc/S5nYco#fb pic.twitter. com/4wpKeTlL Jerome Bocuse opens Monsieur Paul Restaurant at Epcot in honor of his 86 year-old father, the culinary Lion of Lyon.

What food madness did you commit the night of Hurricane Sand? Read my new Fork play.http://conta. cc/S5nYco #fb pic.twitter.com/

qSxcdTCS What do you taste after tasting 19 different dishes?See BITE on Talde http://bit.ly/121pe25 ShrimpEggFoo yung fried rice pic.twitter.com/ bPmUKHS4 US Customs holds up truffles wants to know manufacturer? “God,” sez Eddie Schoenfeld. http://bit.ly/ RX95sy Stir fry Asian favorites,add bacon. t’s Talde. http://bit.ly/121pe25 I can’t believe I ate the whole thing. pic. twitter.com/syTVi4SQ Truffle Kerfuffle @U.S.Customs sabotages Red Farm’s soup dumpling celebration http://bit.ly/ RX95sy Chef Ng has exotic plans for uptown 46A. [Fashionable condiment?] clues CAESAR DRESSING. Dressing... not sure how this fits the theme.

“Getting dressed” or “dress” as part of the word. PITA POCKETS also stretches the theme a bit.

56A. [Fashionable meat?] is SKIRT STEAK. 93A has the same clue, for BEEF MEDALLIONS. So add jewelry to the apparel concept. Wait, ONION RINGS also contains jewelry. Other answers with items of clothing are 171

BLUEBONNET and BOWTIE PASTA, though those are accessories more than clothing.

70A. GINGERSNAPS are [Fashionable cookies?]. See also BUTTON MUSHROOMS. 104A. [Fashionable sweet?] is COTTON CANDY. FRENCH SILK also has a fabric name.

119A. [Fashionable advice to diners at a fancy restaurant?] is DON’T SCARF IT DOWN. Hi guys, I’m Laura Vitale, on this episode of Laura in the Kitchen, I’m gonna show you, how to make little, cute, delicious, crispy meringue cookies.

Now, this is a recipe that I’ve been making for a really long time. I haven’t made it in a really long time, until recently, until I have decided, I want to share with you. So, I started making them again. The problem is, when when you make a meringue cookie for a girl, it’s like doing girl math, like math girl math in your head, so it is like oh, the only ingredients that you need are sugar and egg whites, so it’s not like they are really unhealthy for you, but they are so sugary, so you keep just eating, and eating them, and eating them, cause you are just like, oh there is no flour, oh there is no egg, oh there is no butter. So, they are really delicious, and uh really crispy, and as I said, this is a recipe 172

that’s worked for me time and time again, uhm so ya, I hope that you enjoy it. The ingredients you’re gonna need for them, you probably already have. We just need some egg whites, sugar, I am using some shreaded coconut, pinch of salt, vanilla extract, and some cream of tartar. Those are the ingredients, I mean, can’t really get it easier than that. You don’t have to use coconut, if you don’t want to, I like to add it, only because when these bake, the coconut gets a really deep brown color, not burnt, but a deep brown color, so coconutty, crunchy and delightful. So, I love the addition of that, but I also make, I make meringues in a, with thousand and one wings, I mean different, as long as you’ve got your meringue base, you can put whatever you want in them. So, now, the first thing you wanna do is getting your oven preheated to 275 degrees fahrenheit.

Once that’s ready, take a baking sheet with some parchment paper, get that ready for you. And then, I also got a plane round tip in uh, just a regular piping bag, this is a disposable piping bag. You can also do this with two teaspoons, I mean, you don’t need a piping bag. It just makes things easier. Let’s get started. Now, I will advise you to use uhm a handheld electric mixer, or like a big standing mixer, unless you wanna give yourself a nervous breakdown do this by hand. I say, go with the mixer. So, in here, I’m gonna put in my egg whites. I’m just

gonna turn this on and let them get a little bit frothy, until I’m gonna go mix them till the end, add in some cream of tartar, add some salts. And the cream of tartar stabilizes the egg whites. I’m gonna mix that in, just for a few seconds, and now, I’m gonna slowly add in my sugar. You wanna mix this until the egg whites are really glossy and thick colored, and when you take the meringue between your fingers, you shouldn’t feel any sugar. I should have mentioned it, that’s super fine sugar. That’s really important. You don’t hash super fine sugar in the end, take regular sugar, put it in the food processor for about two minutes, and it’s super fine, that’s what I did, so. Just gonna let this go until it’s the right texture. That’s perfect, so, I’m just gonna add in some vanilla extracts, just mix it in. That’s perfect. I’m just gonna take my little whisk here, I’m just gonna dot it on the pan, doesn’t have to be perfect, cause you know where I am heading with this, I just need something to help my parchment paper stick. So, get that on. Oopsie. Perfect. Don’t you love how I never do a good job with a parchment paper? I know, this base is perfection, oh, amazing how three egg whites can look like that. Put a little bit more of this right here. Ok. I’m gonna put this batter into my plastic bag. Smells so incredible. But I’m not gonna lie, this batter, this mixture makes me want a pavlowa, oh I’d love pavlowa. My meringues. Now, I’m gonna tell you something, a while ago, when I resurfaced into this recipe, this recipe came back up, and uhm in my recipe box. I saw some, I read an article on somebody making Eton mess, I not even knew what an Eton Mess was, until I read the article. It was in a cooking magazine or something. Oh my goodness gracious, that desert is amazing, and it’s so simple, it’s like, a berry mixture with cream and meringues, and when we made it, my husband was like, what what is this, what is this, it’s like white, but its got texture. And I was like yeah, that’s the meringues. And he was like oh, but this there is like fruit in here. I said I, I know there is a stawberry mixture. He loved it. So, I think I have to share this recipe with you guys. Just making little mounts, a few, a couple of inches apart, they are not gonna really expand. That’s it. I’m gonna do the rest of the batter later myself. I mean, how cute are they, and how easy is that. The great thing I love about cooking is, you know, honestly, you don’t need to be a certified pastry chef to know, how to do it. You’re to love to do it. So, that’s why I love to share it with all of you, sharing, you know, my love of food with all of you. Now, I’m just gonna little sprinkle, my shreaded, sweetened coconut all over the top. Oh, it’s gonna be so good. Don’t panic, if the coconut gets really lovely sort of crunchy, toasted brown color. It’s like, again, it’s not being burnt, but it’s not gonna look white. So don’t f, don’t worry about that, cause that’s what’s gonna bring out the flavour, and it’s gonna be super crunchy, so just gonna continue to do that. Watch again, don’t don’t do it too too much, don’t put too much on. There you go. Now, these are gonna go into your pre173

heated oven, 275, for about an hour and 15 minutes, halfway through, I want you to rotate the baking sheet, so that they kind of cook evenly. They are gonna develop a very slight, light, golden color. They are not gonna be brown, they are not gonna be super white, but they gonna develop a really lovely golden color. And then, you wanna turn the oven off, and leave them in the oven, with the oven sh door shut for three hours. You want them to completely dry out. You can leave them in there over night. You want them to completely dry out.

Don’t open that oven door, because that’s really crucial to that recipe. And now, I’ll show you, what they look like, once they’ve gone all through those stages. Those be super worth it. So, you just trust me. My meringues are finally done, and they are exactly how they should be. The coconut is really golden brown, and crispy, and sweet, and little meringues have slightly changed in color, but they are still pretty pale, and they are very, very dry, which is key here to get in that crispness. I’m not gonna lie one bit, my husband and I have already eaten like six of these, because they are so good and addictive. You hear that?

And they are almost like, they might be crunchy but they melt in your mouth. Like once you go over that crunch, mmhh, so good. Go online on Laura in the Kitchen from where you get this recipe, let me know, how you like ‘em, hope you enjoyed this 174

time with me, and I’ll see you next time, bye bye.

Hello and welcome to Nicko’s-Kitchen and What You Want Wednesday.

Today’s recipe request comes in from the user Soloist 47, and they have asked me to make homemade mayonnaise. So, let’s get started.

He’s got Budget Meals Monday, What You Want Wednesday, Fast Food Friday. What else could he share?

It’s Nicko’s-Kitchen, where satisfying meals are prepared. So, homemade mayonnaise, it is absolutely gorgeous, it is nothing like the bought stuff, let me tell ya. So the first thing we gonna need is just a large jug. Now, what I have done is, I have separated two eggs, and I have just kept the yolk, and I have discarded the white and just pop them straight in. Now, a lot of people get sort of cautious, when I start talking about eating raw eggs.

Let me tell you something, it is very safe to eat, as long as you follow these important steps. Make sure, they are fresh eggs, ok, make sure you check the date on them and make sure, they are fresh. If you can, always try buy free range organic eggs, because they are the best product out there.

Also make sure that you have your eggs at room temperature before you start making the mayonnaise. Don’t take them straight out of the fridge, and then pop them in the cup. And the last tip is, just be clean in general.

Hygiene in the kitchen is paramount.

Not Just a Pretty Face (a naturally pinkish nude by essie) sings: “I can hear Lisa and she can hear me.”

Nude Beach (a sheer glimmering pink by essie) whispers like a nude on a beach: “Close the door.”

Not Just a Pretty Face (a naturally pinkish nude by essie) sings: “I can hear Lisa and she can hear me.”

Nude Beach (a sheer glimmering pink by essie) whispers very much like a nude on a beach: “Then, please, close the door.”

Poppy Art Pink (add a pop of romance with this sheer chiffon pink by essie) adds: “And then, what will be doors?”

It’s In the Bag (a sheer ivory with a hint of pastel pink by essie) sings Lady Gaga?: “I’m as free as my hair.

I’m as free as my hair. I am my hair. I am my hair...”

We’re In It Together (a shimmering, iridescent pink by essie) loves LESS IS MORE No 10270 by ANNY and keeps silent apart from, says: “I hope the weather is nice.”

Penny Talk (an authentic copper metallic by essie) sings: “Lisa, Lisa, I cannot even tell you how sad I am inside my head. I’m so sad inside my head. I’m so sad, sad inside your head.”

Fear Or Desire (a bright, orange crush by essie) laughs: “Or desire?

Let’s have some omelettes.”

Hi Maintenance (an innocent, sheer pale pink by essie) mumbles: “Hopefully we’ll end up against

austere white backgrounds, with textual information in Times New Roman.”

Pinking Up the Pieces (a superiridescent shimmering pink by essie) repeatedly whispers in an irresistible tone: “Nothing’s right in the middle.”

Fed Up (a sheer wash of nude pink by essie) states: “It’s my hair and I can do what I want with it!”

It’s In the Bag (a sheer ivory with a hint of pastel pink by essie) and Off the Shoulder (a bold, hot pink by essie) sing Lady Gaga?: “I am my hair. I am my hair...”

Nail polish names and numbers by essie and CHANEL proclaiming their sadness or happiness, 2013

bbf boy best friend, a classic creamy mauve; blushing bride, a flush of pale pink, perfect for a french manicure; brooch the subject, a creamy cashmere cameo; cloud nine, a veil of warm white; demure vix, an iridescent cocoa mauve; fed up, a sheer wash of nude pink; fiji, an opaque creamy pale pink; imported bubbly, a sparkling luxurious golden beige; innocent, a dusty dark pink; like linen, a soft and creamy neutral; limo-scene, a sheer pastel pink, perfect for french mani-cures; lovie dovie, a perfect true flamingo pink; merino cool, a sensuous autumn mulberry; mink muffs, a smoky plush taupe; muchi, muchi, a creamy, lus-cious pink with a kiss of 175

mauve:; over the knee, a shimmering cocoa brown; pink glove service, a flirty translucent with a hint of petal pink; pretty edgy, vivid palmetto green; shifting power, a sizzling molten gold cream; shop till i drop, a soft pink coral cream; smokin’ hot, break the rules with this stone-cold fox gray that burns hotter than any flame; to buy or not to buy, a lavender with shimmer; very structured, a classic burnt sienna; we’re in it together, a shimmering, iri-descent pink singing: “Lisa, we are sad nail-polishes by essie. We are so sad, cause we don’t have a little a, a little a..“ 18 ROUGE NOIR, 455 LOTOS ROUGE, 507 TENDRESSE, 531 PERIDOT, 539 JUNE, 543 FRISSON, 559 FRENZY, 561 SUSPICIOUS, 563 VERTIGO, 565 BEIGE, 569 EMPRISE, 607 DELIGHT singing: “Lisa, we are sad nail-polishes by CHANEL. We are so sad, cause we don’t have a little a, a little a..“ a crewed interest, a luminous peach shade; adore-a-ball, a sheer soft pink, perfect for a french manicure; all tied up, a rustic bronze with subtle golden shim-mer; allure, a seductive sheer with a natural finish, perfect for a french manicure; angel food, a heavenly sheer pale pink, perfect for a french manicure; an-gora cardi, a creamy, deep dusty rose; as gold as it gets, gilded lamé sparkles; au natural, a sheer neutral sandy beige, perfect 176

for a french manicure; baby’s breath, a powder-fresh, creamy white, perfect for a french manicure; bangle jangle, a lavender amethyst; braziliant, a hot orange with a touch of shimmer; buy me a cameo, a frosted satin mocha; case study, a rich camel beige; curtain call, a light frosted pink beige; delicacy, a sheer and shimmery soft pink; don’t sweater it, a warm, cozy and creamy mauve; east hampton cottage, a beachy sand pink with hints of sheer shimmer perfect for a french manicure; eternal op-timist, a spiced tea rose with a dash of cream; fear or desire, a bright, orange crush; french affair, a sophisticated soft lavender pink; glamour purse, an allur-ing almond taupe; good as gold, a guaranteed gold metallic; gym dandy, a motivated greige brown; haute as hello, racy, scorching coral; hi maintenance, an innocent, sheer pale pink; island hopping, a rich plum mauve; it’s in the bag, a sheer ivory with a hint of pastel pink; jazz, a neutral creamy beige-taupe; lady like, an elegant soft mauve; mademoiselle, the most classic grown-up pink; mamba, a shimmering café au lait; master plan, a mischievous soft gray; minimal-istic, a barely there pink; mint candy apple, creme de menthe mint; miss fancy pants, a refined, chic, greige; mochacino, a perky gray with shimmer; mojito madness, a fun-loving, lime green; navigate her, a light, bright green; need a vacation, a bubble gum pink; neo whimsical,

flaunt your classic taste with this rose-plum hue; not just a pretty face, a naturally pinkish nude; nude beach, a sheer glimmering pink; penny talk, an au­thentic copper metallic; pilates hot-tie, a zen light lilac; poppy art pink, add a pop of romance with this sheer chiffon pink; potato fields, a sheer and simple neutral, perfect for a french mani-cure.; prima ballerina, a creamy, naturally pale pink; room with a view, a sheer and shimmery light pink; sand tropez, a soft sandy beige; sandy beach, a sheer and natural nude; sole mate, a creamy and rich deep plum; spaghetti strap, a sheer pink peony; sugar daddy, a sweet and shimmery pink, perfect for a french manicure; tart deco, chic and modern, this dreamy coral is an artistic burst of color; tea & crumpets, a subtle and frosted beige; topless & barefoot, a barely there soft beige pink; van d’go, impressionist or not, this peachy keen shade leaves a vivid impact; vanity fairest, a shimmery and sheer pastel pink; where is my chauffeur?, an opulent turquoise; yogaga, a peachful sandy beige singing: “Lisa, we are happy nail polishes by essie. We are so happy, we have one or more little a’s .., the object cause of desire! A little a!”

18 ROUGE 219 BLACK SATIN, 307 ORANGE FIZZ, 461 BLUE SATIN, 473 COROMANDEL, 475 DRAGON, 483 VENDETTA, 493 JADE ROSE, 505 PARTICULIERE, 509 PARADOXAL,

511 PEARL DROP, 513 BLACK PEARL, 515 PECHE NACREE, 519 ROSE EXU­BERANT, 521 ROSE CHACHE, 525 QUARTZ, 533 APRIL, 535 MAY, 541 TENTATION, 545 ATTRACTION, 549 DISTRACTION, 571 FRACAS, 573 ACCESSOIRE, 577 MIMOSA (!!), 587 ROUGE CARAT, 597 ISLAND, 617 HOLIDAY, 637 MALICE singing: “Lisa, we are happy nail polishes by CHANEL. We are so happy, we have one or more little a’s .., the object cause of desire! A little a!”

Nail polish names and numbers by OPI and Yves Saint Laurent proclaiming their sadness or happiness, 2013 Don’t Pretzel My Buttons, a haute honey-beige that can always make you smile; Dulce de Leche, a taste of sweet creamy nude; Feelin’ Hot-HotHot!, a flamingo pink blazing with style; Hope-lessly in Love, a pink as true as true love; I think in Pink, and I think I love this pop of pink!; Kiss on the Chic, a kiss of classic pale pink; Mod-ern Girl, a pop of coral with more than 15 min-utes of fame; My Very First Knock­wurst, and what a migical rosy-nude rendezvous it was!; Nein! Nein! Nein! OK Fine!, a bodacious black-olive? We say „Ja! Ja! Ja!“; Pink-ing of You, „Loves me, loves me not“ petal pink; Shorts Story, Hot pink. The end.; Sweet Memories, a rich light pink; The „It“ Color, this must-have yellow is the 177

color to be seen in, singing: “Lisa, we are a selection of sad nail-polishes by OPI. We are so sad, cause we don’t have a little a, a little a..“ Nº 22 BEIGE LEGER, Nº 23 GRIS DECO, Nº 27 NOIR PRIMITIF singing: “Lisa, we are a selection of sad nail-polishes by Yves Saint Laurent. We are so sad, cause we don’t have a little a, a little a..“ A-Rose at Dawn...Broke by Noon, a gleaming, gambling, rambling rose; Are We There Yet?, don’t make me reach back there and take that per­fect melon shade!; Austin-tatious Turquoise, cowgirls love this bodacious blue-green; Barre My Soul, this sheer beige is gorgeous, and that’s the „naked“ truth; Berlin There Done That, a traveling taupe that’s seen it all. (Yep that too); Charged Up Cherry, hot pink-red; Chicago Champagne Toast, fine pink champagne with an understated shine; Die Another Day, live in the moment in this hot and lively red; Don’t Talk Bach To Me, there’s nothing mellow about this sassy lime-yellow!, Got a Date To-Knight!, a rich sweet pink, to complement his shining armor!; Hawai­ ian Orchid, tropical pink with hints of light purple; Hearts & Tarts, get your „just desserts“ with this rich blush pink!; Heart Throb, a rosy pink that’s pure love; I Eat Mainly Lobster, we „clawed“ through crowds to catch this coral for you; Isn’t It Romantic?, sweet, cherry-blossom pink; Italian Love Affair, a romantic and pearly pale pink; Makes Men Blush, a light warm pink that’s sweetly seductive; Miami Beet, this racy red-violet could be your vice; Mod About You, totally modern light pink; On the Same Paige, you’ll agree this orange-red is jean-ious!; Otherwise Engaged, a pale pink shimmer that „rings“ with romance; Passion, endlessly enticing pale pink; Pink Before You Leap, take-a-risk pink glitter; Privacy Please, a delicate pink; Royal Flush Blush, all-girl pink pearl - „deal“ with it!; Schnapps Out of It!, shake off the blues with a shot of falls must-have mauve!; Strawberry Margarita, sip into this bright pink and enjoy!; Suzi & the Lifeguard, a not-so-innocent light pink; Suzi Sells Sushi by the Seashore, not easy to say – but it’s easy to wear this pearly mauve; Tutti Frutti Tonga, delicious pale pink touched by pearl and ice; You Callin’ Me a Lyre?, this ascending pink hits all the right notes singing: “Lisa, we are a selection of happy nail polishes by OPI. We are so happy, we have one or more little a’s .., the object cause of desire! A little a!”

Nº 1 ROUGE POP ART, Nº 4 CORAIL COLISEE, Nº 5 CRAIL DIVIN, Nº 8 FUCHSIA CUBISTE, Nº 9 FUCHSIA INTEMPOREL, Nº 12 ROSE RENAISSANCE, Nº 14 VIOLINE SURREALISTE, Nº 15 VIOLET BAROQUE, Nº 17 BLEU COBALT, Nº 18 BLUE MAJORELLE, Nº 21 TAUPE RETRO, Nº 24 ROSE ABSTRAIT, Nº 25 ROSE ROMANTIQUE, Nº 28 BRONZE AZTEC, Nº 30 178

BASE, Nº 31 KHAKI ARTY, Nº 33 TOP COAT PREMIERE NIEGE, Nº 34 JADE IMPERIAL singing: “Lisa, we are a selection of happy nail polishes by Yves Saint Laurent. We are so happy, we have one or more little a’s .., the object cause of desire!

A little a!”

Mokkatasse+Untertasse 0,10L Mocca cup+Saucer

0,10L

(without insert pce) Einsatz für teekanne insert pce for tea pot Deckel Ø 13 cm Passen zu suppenschale/ uni-schale/dose lid Ø 13 cm fit for soup bowl/uni-bowl TellER/flach Ø 26,22,20,18,12 cm plate/flat Ø 26,22,20,18,12 cm

Kaffeetasse+untertasse 0,25l Coffecup+saucer

0,25L

uni-teller (fondue) 26 cm uni-plate (fondue) 26 cm

Teetasse+untertasse 0,30L Tea cup+saucer 0,30l

teller/tief Ø 19,5 cm plate/deep Ø 19,5 cm

Dose mit Deckel 0,40l Bowl with lid 0,40l

Suppenschale mit 2 henkeln Ø 13 cm Soup bowl with 2 handles Ø 13 cm

Giesser Creamer

0,35L 0,35l

Kanne mit deckel Pot with lid

0,65l 0,65l

Kaffeekanne mit deckel 1,60l Coffee pot with lid 1,60l Teekanne mit deckel (ohne einsatz) Tea pot with lid

Ø Ø

Suppenschale mit 2 henkeln Ø 13 cm +untertasse Ø 18 cm Soup bowl with 2 handles Ø 13 cm +saucer Ø 18 cm

1,50l

uni-schale Ø 0,40 l uni-bowl Ø 0,40 l

1,50l

platte/rund

Ø 30 cm 179

platter/round Ø 30 cm

FC Radiergummi 7041-20 Weiß, 40x27x13 mm

platte/oval 38x20 cm platter/oval 38x20 cm

Fine Face C Aquarellk. 1,10x10m Canson 250g/m2

schüssel/bowl 1 0,40 L schüssel/bowl 2 2,40 L schüssel/bowl 3 3,80 L

Fine Face C Aquarellk. 1,10x10m Canson 250g/m2

streuer/salz oder pfeffer shaker/salt or pepper designer o.Prof.arch.di carl auböck designer o.Prof.arch.di carl auböck

n134104 Sennelier Chinesische Tusche Schwarz 50/2212

Universalp. 50/22 Gr. 1/2"

50/2212

Universalp. 50/22 Gr. 1 1/2" Fine Face C Aquarellk. 1,10x10m Canson 250g/m2

L2321

Lukas Sprühfilm "glanz" 400ml mit UV-Schutz

1983/002 Franz. Aquarellpinsel Gr. 2 Lyra Art Design Bleistifte 4H

180

Antiktusche 100ml Ceresschwarz 98319l6

Silverline Katzenzunge kurzer Stiel Gr. 6

D3444

da Vinci 344 Gr.4 Pinsel, flach

d55806

Da Vinci Sorte 5580 Gr.6 Cosmotop Spin Accademia Zeichenp.

1,5x10m Fabriano Rolle 200g/m2

KR1000p ars nova Kunststoffbehälter 1000ml rund leer KR1000p ars nova Kunststoffbehälter 1000ml rund leer LXsp1

LX Siebdruckpaste 1L LX Studio Acrylf. 1L 973 Carbonschwarz

LX Studio Acrylf. 1L 982 Titanweiß 3M Verpackungsklebeband 305 Braun 5cmx66m 323700

Kunststoff-Japanspachtelsatz 5,8,10,12 cm

05282

Tesa Kreppband classic farblos 50m x 30mm Glattfilt Lackierwalzen 2er Friess 10cm Filament-Garn Steckbügel Kleinwatze 10-12cm Friess grau Bügellänge 27cm

N580980 Farbwanne für Walzen für 12cm Kunstsoff blau 2012 Bataille u.a. Kritisches Wörterbuch.

Beiträge von Georges Bataille, Carl Einstein, Marcel Griaule, Michel Leiris u.a, Merve Verlag, Berlin, 2005.

Dik Browne. Hägar der Schreckliche.

Harte Zeiten. Ein Mann - ein Wort!

Ohne Furcht und Tadel. Portobello Comic.

Dik Browne. Hägar der Schreckliche.

Gut gegeben. Eheglück. Helga, ein Leben an seiner Seite. Portobello Comic.

Ulises Carrión. “Quant aux livres -

On Books”. Genève: Éditions HérosLimite, 2008.

Michalis Pichler. Ulises Carrión.

Dante Gabriel Rossetti. Some More Sonnet(s). “greatest hits”, Berlin, 2011.

Liz Kotz. “Words to Be Looked At. Language in 1960s Art.” The MIT Press, 2007.

Massimo Vignelli. “Der Vignelli Kanon”. Lars Müller Publishers, 2012.

Andy Warhol. a: a novel, New York: Grove Press, 1968.

Andy Warhol. a: a novel, 2nd ed. New York: Grove Press, 1998.

Robert Mazzocco. “a a a a a a. . . .”

Review of a: a novel. New York Review of Books, April 24, 1969: 34—37.

Ed Rusha, NEVER ODD OR EVEN, 2001, WE FEW, 2003, TULSA SULT, 2002, STRATOTARTS, 2003, STARBRATES, 2003, NO SON 2003, NAIVE EVIAN 2003, NOSY SON 2004 Ed Rusha, Ledger Book, 2004 Roger Price & Leonard Stern, Sooper Mad Libs #3, Do it yourself Mad Lib Poems, Mad Lib Plays, Mad Lib Sons, Price/Stern/Sloan, Los Angeles Calloway, Guinaldo, Ruggiero, Gotham City Sirens n°25, A Sister’s Betrayal!, DC, September 2011 Calloway, Guinaldo, Ruggiero, Fernandez, Gotham City Sirens n°26, DC, October 2011 Group Shoe, curated by Joe Bradley.

Gavin Brown, June 30 – July 30, 2012, NYC Anita Steckel, “Mom Art”, 1963 “Westphalie’s hallmark” 181

Mario García Torres, The Unfolding of A, or an Uncompleted of B, 19722012 Franz Erhard Walther, ABC... Museum – Wortbilder, MAMCO, 2004 Clément Rodzielski, Charme Fastrasie, 30 fatras de Watriquet de Couvin (vers 1328-1330) Michael Krebber, Michael Krebber, Villa Arson, 1997 Li’l Mose, 1901 R.F. Outcault, Shakespeare in Possumville, Judge, 1899-1900 Gantz, Don Q, 75 Sam and Sap Zipi y Zape The Terrible Twins Dem Boys The Feinheimer Kids Okefenokee Rachel Harrisson, Abraham Lincoln, NY: Printed Matter Inc., 2011 Pogo Special Birthday, We have met the Enemy and he is us, Pogo the candidate for the office of your choice Tom Humphreys, Flaca, Portikus, Sternberg Press, 2012 Will Benedict: Bonjour Tourist, Mousse Publishing Benoît Maire: Drawing Room Confessions #5, Mousse Publishing The year we have been nowhere / Das Jahr, in dem wir nirgendwo waren, Starship Issue 8 Josef Strau, Edition Repetition Competition and Jewelry of Flowers and Redemption Ical Krbbr Prodly Prsnts Gart Jas, Jon Klsy, Josf Stra 182

Vitrinization, Mayo Thompson, 1990 The Best Book About Pessimism I Ever Read §d Place A children’s colouring book

by Richard Prince Thomas Bayrle/ Andreas Zybach, LAYOUT - PHILIP JOHNSON ... I search/take/find collective skeletons and insert the appropriate flesh/ fat/tissue ...

Louis Wolfson, Le Schizo et les Langues (Gallimard, Connaissance de l’inconscient, 1970 Louis Wolfson, Ma mère, musicienne, est morte de maladie maligne mardi à minuit au milieu du mois de mai mille977 au mouroir Memorial à Manhattan, Paris, Navarin, 1984 Dossier Wolfson, 2009 Jordan Wolfson, Infinite Melancholy (2003) Der Vignelli Kanon Nina Beier, The Demonstrators (Sinking Bulb), 2011 Nina Beier, The Demonstrators (Drowning Coins), 2011 Nina Beier, The Demonstrators (Broken Rope), 2011 Stephanie Taylor, Chop Shop, Los Angeles: Les Figues Press Frances Stark John Knight at Portikus. A Conversation with André Rottman and John Knight.

(See Stephanie Taylor, Chop Shop, Les Figues Press. A lusty, rusty, busty in full titular view, this voomva-va-voom makes a gal leery, like the peek-a-boo of a cutie museum

nudie. Still, she has the gall to leer at the gal on the go, the va-va which would be the ooh-la-la version of go-go, ergo, we’re the Go-Go-Girls, as in vroom-vroom, as in warumwarum, the why-why?)

Ed. Rev. Ed. “But eventually, editing is a sign of desire.”

There is this text of Hal Foster.

Subversive Signs. It’s quite dated.

1986. It’s in Recoding:... But Allan McCollum put a pdf of it on his own website. It’s about this very scene : Martha Rosler, Sherrie Levine, Louise Lawler, Jenny Holzer…

Martha Rosler, Sherrie Levine, Dara Birnbaum, Barbara Kruger, Louise Lawler, Allan McCollum, Jenny Holzer, Krzysztof Wodicizko… The artist becomes a manipulator of signs more than a producer of art objects. This shift in practice entails a shift in position: the artist becomes a manipulator of signs more than a producer of art objects, and the viewer an active reader of messages rather than a passive contemplator of the aesthetic or consumer of the spectacular. This shift is not new—indeed, the recapitulation in this work of the “allegorical procedures” (See Benjamin H. D. Buchloh, “Allegorical Procedures: Appropriation and Montage in Contemporary Art,” Artforum

(September 1982): 43-56) of the readymade, (dadaist) photomontage and (pop) appropriation is significant—yet it remains strategic if only because even today few are able to accept the status of art as a social sign entangled with other signs in systems productive of value, power and prestige. It’s quite dated. 1986. The manipulator of signs is a producer of art objects, and the active reader of messages is a passive contemplator of the aesthetic or consumer of the spectacular. The producer of signs is a manipulator of art objects, and the passive contemplator or consumer of messages is an active reader of the aesthetic or of the spectacular. Vanessa Place: in his essay Subversive Signs, Hal Foster remarks that the appropriation artist is a manipulator of signs more than a producer of art objects, and the viewer an active reader of messages rather than a passive contemplator of the aesthetic or consumer of the spectacular. Note that “more than” and “rather than”. Replication is a sign of desire.

See Robert Fitterman / Vanessa Place, Covertext: Anmerkungen zu Konzeptualismen, Merve Verlag Berlin, 2013.

See Vanessa Place and Robert Fitterman, Notes on Conceptualisms, Third Printing, Ugly 183

Ducking Press, Brooklyn, 2013.

Benjamin Buchloh points out in Allegorical Procedures: Appropriation and Montage in Contemporary Art that 1920s montage work is inherently allegorical in its methods of confiscation, superimposition, and fragmentation.

Kunstpavillon und Hofgarten, Innsbruck, Sonntag, 08. September 2013, 12.30 – 17.00: Illuminations II, David Jourdan und Tanja Widmann From the moment communication is taken up as as such the display of our linguistic capacity, , the possibility begins with of transformation means in a discursive situation pure purr.

12,7x18,7 cm., 64 p., 100 ex. with photographs by Gianfranco Gorgoni, collectors Dorothy and Herbert Vogel, Conceptual Art and Arte Povera 1966 - 1969, and a section devoted to Man Ray. For the issue, Man Ray was commissioned to create an original work of art utilizing the letter “R” (as part its “L’Alfabebeto di BolaffiArte” series), which was then reproduced utilizing the photolithographic process and included as a loose insert. It consists of an embossed sheet of cardstock which has been overprinted with a stylized “Man Ray” in dark green, 184

save for the “R” printed in red. In addition, noted Italian Arte Povera/ Conceptual artist Giulio Paolini has contributed an original insert entitled “Vedo, 1969 (la decifrazione del mio campo visivo)”. A most presentable copy with like inserts showing a bit of overall light wear and slight dent at the heel of the spine. Inventory Number: 009218# $ 250.00 order/inquire * Ulises Carrión, “An End and a Beginning”, in Umbrella, Vol.2 n°5, Glendale, 1979. (Interview with Ulises Carrion excerpted from the forthcoming book A.I.R. Holland by Jan van Ray. Reprinted with kind permission from Artzien, vol. 1, n°3, January 1979, edited and published

by Michael Gibbs in Amsterdam.

Reproduit dans Judith A. Hoffberg (Ed.), Umbrella: The Anthology, Umbrella Editions, Santa Monica, 1999, p. 22-24.

Aesthetic has long become a commodity of the twenty-first century, has already been internalized by mass culture and has been implemented by the market as a functioning construct of values, lifestyles and experiences.

Trisha Baga & NO BROW is a trial version of two separate shows interlacing and corresponding with each other. It takes as its point of departure the interest of young

artists in the appearance and design of the everyday and its free circulation through visual circuits of distribution. By regurgitating styles of their surroundings, the artistic positions in Trisha Baga & NO BROW not only reflect the re-calibrated relation between applied and autonomous art, but also probe the currency of design as a diagnostic tool to uncover the hidden ecologies of the things that fill the lifeworld.

However utopian current approaches to design may be, this show focusses on artistic strategies of re-staging and reiterating designed networks, activities and services. Doing so, the artists that come together in the show explore anew the modernist promise of universality and democracy in today’s era, in which the modern dualisms of subject and object have irrevocably proven obsolete.

After all, as Bruno Latour would have it, only a conception of a democracy expanded by a non-hierarchical inclusion of things, or non-human beings and networks can meet the challenges of the present. The mode of distraction here acts as the show’s undercurrent to parallel today’s shifting relation between the tangible, the virtual and the detached flows of information. This mode is reflected in the show’s format that resembles a one-armed bandit. Trisha Baga’s solo installation shall hereby act as the initiating coin – an activating stream of consciousness, surfacing various

strings of thought and different layers of questioning the possibilities of being and making today. By staging comments and works of Benjamin Hirte, Lisa Holzer, David Jourdan, Nick Parker, Philipp Timischl, and Nicole Wermers in the gallery spaces next to Baga’s installation, NO BROW will showcase the contemporary nexus of production and consumption and the role of visual encodings and unfixing circulation within it. All artists are invited to contribute to this investigation of contemporary strategies of marketing and the “universal merging with the universality of the commodity form in the amnesic code of exchange value.”

Artists: Trisha Baga, Benjamin Hirte, Lisa Holzer, David Jourdan, Nick Parker, Philipp Timischl, Nicole Wermers, Westphalie.

12.4. - 1.6.2013 John Seabrook OUR LOCAL CORRESPONDENTS Nobrow Culture Why it’s become so hard to know what you like.

From The New Yorker September 20, 1999 Because I live in Tribeca, I end up walking around in SoHo two or three times a week. I usually have a destination in mind--to shop for food at the Gourmet Garage, or to look at the clothes at Helmut Lang or Agnes B., or to see a show at some gallery, 185

though I don’t do much of that anymore. I’m almost always looking to buy something. And there’s a lot to buy in SoHo: it is a village of fancy sunglasses and “authentic” Indonesian furniture, edible flowers, high-design soap dishes and fiftydollar Kliss Touch scissors, twentyone-year-old Balsamic vinegar, plastics, fashion, and cell phones cell phones cell phones.

Design and Crime: And Other Diatribes By Hal Foster About this book COLLECTIVE UNCONSCIOUS words by Chris Wiley DAS INSTITUT (Kerstin Braetsch and Adele Roeder), “Non Solo Non Group Show,” exhibition view at Kunsthalle Zürich, 2009 Courtesy of the artists and Galerie Balice Hertling, Paris Summer 2013 2011: ART AND TRANSMISSION MICHAEL SANCHEZ ARE WE LIVING IN AN AFTERMATH? The unspoken consensus seems to be that, in relation to the art of the previous decade, the early 2010s are a caesura—a waiting period at best, analogous to the early 1970s in relation to the ’60s, or the early ’90s in relation to the ’80s. Those older historical moments were not just lulls, however, but scenes of profound discursive …

When your world is full of strange arrangements ...

186

WELT AM SONNTAG ESSAY 04.07.04 Die Rebellion der Kaschmir-Kinder Vor 25 Jahren wurde in Hamburg der Popper erfunden. Obwohl höflich und elegant im Auftritt, wurde daraus die verhassteste Jugendkultur. Eine Ehrenrettung 0

Von Ulf PoschardtThe Loburg-Verlag presents: the Popper Knigge “See and be seen” PREFACE Always more people at this difficult time of a thing turn to, the star in the fashion firmament: the POPPERTUM This etiquette has been clear to everyone a little easier to make it, to comply with certain unwritten laws. May he be a good friend and helper in all times of crisis.

In this sense, Mathias Lorenz Carola Rönne Castle copyright © 1979 by Loburg-Verlag, Hamburg.

All rights reserved.

Responsible: Mathias Lorenz, Kippingstr. 29, 2000 HAMBURG 13 SHORT PRIMER No, there is unfortunately not only young people who dress like Popper, there are also many who are as they get dressed. This is a Popper.

There are many Popper. Popper ride moped. A Popper wears his hair back fashionably short and forward fashionable long. A Popper dresses are always trendy, and always two numbers too big, so that his pride in the future still fits... There are of

TJW/ presents Tanja Widmann Eine von Euch Jedna z vás tranzitdisplay

HD video ONE behaviour 29 mins TWO sexual anatomy/sex 25 mins THREE economy/ecology 27 mins FOUR are you living the life (you always wanted to live) Dj set by Melanie Ohnemus, 1h29mins

eine von euch

performers josefin granqvist nora kapfer tonio kröner

set up by johannes porsch, tanja widmann includes some of the following are you living the life (you’ve always wanted to live) (eine von euch FOUR), HD video, 1h 29mins tonio kröner, look what you did to me (1-4), silk, textile dying color, glitter, embroidery, 120 × 85 cm, 2012 nicki minaj at versace for h&m nyc launch at pier57, nov 2011, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjvFYZ4RFCE&feature=related versace for h&m, 2011 (various) velvet bomber bolero jacket, miami/leopard print, art.nr. 076930 0363 858 3020/1 MU/L2 lycra leotard, jungle print green, art.nr 073571 4 0363 858 3020/1 MU/R5 silk pleated skirt, alligator jungle print green, art.nr. 076325 4 0363 852 3020/1 MU/R7 jeans, jungle print red, art.nr. 073566 4 0343 421 3020/1 MU/A1 margiela for h&m, 2012 (various) jeans, white painted surface, re-edition S/S 1992, artnr. 80-8932 leggings, mirror ball, jersey, re-edition S/S 2009, art.nr. 82-7001 necklace, synthetic hair, blond, re-edition S/S 1995, art nr. 81-0245 necklace, synthetic hair, black, re-edition S/S 1995, art. 81-0246 necklace, strings of sparkly gems in varying lenghts, re-edition S/S 2004, art.nr. 81-0350 hangers, white painted surface, edition 2012 shooping bag, white, various sizes, edition 2012 plants calathea triostar alocasia polly alocasia colocasia phylodendron giant montara variegate spathyphylum meyer lemon tree (ev) spraycans dupli-color, car’s rims varnish, aqua terracotta gloss 9, effect copper high gloss, effect hammered finish, effect marble, effect bronze for interior mirrors, variable dimensions foam sheets, pink, 35 × 1020 × 2070 mm seat cushions, foam, light green laserprints, b/w, spray-painted rope, beige, spray-painted, variable dimensions laces, white and tricolored, spray-painted, variable dimensions cables, black, brown, white, variable dimensions multi contact plugs, black, brown, white, variable dimensions squared timber, taped and spray-painted, 38 × 58 × 2000 mm extruded polystrene xps-boards, pink, 1250 × 600 × 40 mm foamcore board, white, 1400 × 1000 × 10 mm chipboards, white, 2000 × 1000 mm × 19 mm peg boards, white, 600 × 600 × 3 mm peg boards, white, 1520 × 605 × 3 mm glass plate, 900 × 750 × 5 mm shelf boards, veneered, nutwood imitation, 1200 × 400 × 16 mm shelf board, veneered, cherrywood imitation, 1200 × 400 × 16 mm solar stone garden-lights

The exhibition is produced in cooperation with Grazer Kunstverein, Graz, and tranzitdisplay, Prague.

Výstava je pořádána ve spolupráci s Grazer Kunstverein Štýrský Hradec, a tranzitdisplay Praha.

tranzitdisplay otevírací doba / opening hours út — ne / tue — sun / 12 — 18h Dittrichova 9/337, Praha 2, CZ www.tranzitdisplay.cz info@tranzitdisplay.cz

30/11 2012 — 10/02 2013 vernisáž 29/11 2012 19.00

eine von euch

hlavní partner / main partner ERSTE Foundation podpora / support Ministerstvo kultury ČR, Hlavní město Praha, MČ Praha 2 mediální partner / media partner A2 kulturní čtrnáctideník, Rádio 1

group melanie ohnemus dietmar schwärzler johannes schweiger maja vukoje et al. concept script tanja j. widmann

set design johannes porsch

music carlo peters

camera fx matthias halibrandt

sound ina nikolow

styling wally salner

styling assistant stefanie rizaj

hair & make up verena rabl for wolfgang lindenhofer.com

sound mixing CHBP, Köln

josefin granqvist’s classic jacket by wilfried mayer customized t-shirt by wally salner trousers, jeans gilet by ___fabrics interseason nora kapfer’s fur jacket, jeans jacket, customized jeans, net shirt by ___fabrics interseason classic jacket by wilfried mayer tonio kröner’s chemise, classic coat, cape by wilfried mayer grey coat, underdress by valentina suvorova trousers by ___fabrics interseason blanket „parquet floor for the poor“ by doris bujatti production still photographers yasmina haddad rudolf steckholzer script based on brian leith, bbc wildlife – the cultured ape, 2002 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTeLsEGPjdU sarah blaffer hrdy, the woman that never evolved, 1981 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTeLsEGPjdU simon w. townsend, katie e. slocombe, melissa emery thompson and klaus zuberbühler, female-led infanticide in wild chimpanzees. current biology, volume 17, issue 10, may 2007 national geographic – the jane goodall collection, 2010 felix guattari, monographie über R.A., 1957 donna haraway, simians, cyborgs and women, 1991 jean-luc godard, sauve qui peut (la vie), 1980 http://jerrymagoo.blogspot.com/ margaret thatcher, house of commons speech [debate on address], 1979 may 15, http://www.margaretthatcher.org/document/104083 margaret thatcher, speech at “youth for europe” rally, national exhibition centre, birmingham 1979 jun 2, http://www.margaretthatcher.org/document/104088 margaret thatcher addresses the conservative party conference in 1983. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=xvz8tg4MVpA http://post-canvas.blogspot.com/?zx=42de3d455e34d0a http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/interrogation/2011/10/laura_dern_interview_the_ enlightened_star_talks_david_lynch_medi.html britney spears, circus, 2008 frans de waal, chimpanzee politics. power and sex among apes, 1982 frederick wiseman, primate, 1974

richard attenborough, amazing diy orangutans – bbc earth http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFACrIx5SZ0 sophia grace’s show stopping performance! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odhUPMYXpX4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9573kGBtuE&feature=relmfu

tanja_A2_poster_final.indd 24

eine von euch set up by johannes porsch, tanja widmann includes some of the following are you living the life (you’ve always wanted to live) (eine von euch FOUR), HD video, 1h 29mins tonio kröner, look what you did to me (1-4), silk, textile dying color, glitter, embroidery, 120 × 85 cm, 2012

11/27/12 4:53 PM

nicki minaj at versace for h&m nyc launch at pier57, nov 2011, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T jvFYZ4RFCE&feature=related versace for h&m, 2011 (various) velvet bomber bolero jacket, miami/ leopard print, art.nr. 076930 0363 858 3020/1 MU/L2 lycra leotard, jungle print green, art. nr 073571 4 0363 858 3020/1 MU/R5 silk pleated skirt, alligator jungle print green, art.nr. 076325 4 0363 852 3020/1 MU/R7 jeans, jungle print red, art.nr. 073566 4 0343 421 3020/1 MU/A1 margiela for h&m, 2012 (various) jeans, white painted surface, re-edition S/S 1992, artnr. 80-8932 leggings, mirror ball, jersey, re-edition S/S 2009, art.nr. 82-7001 necklace, synthetic hair, blond, reedition S/S 1995, art nr. 81-0245 necklace, synthetic hair, black, reedition S/S 1995, art. 81-0246 necklace, strings of sparkly gems in varying lenghts, re-edition S/S 2004, art.nr. 81-0350 hangers, white painted surface, edition 2012 shooping bag, white, various sizes, edition 2012 plants calathea triostar alocasia polly alocasia colocasia phylodendron giant montara varie187

gate spathyphylum meyer lemon tree (ev) spraycans dupli-color, car’s rims varnish, aqua terracotta gloss 9, effect copper high gloss, effect hammered finish, effect marble, effect bronze for interior mirrors, variable dimensions foam sheets, pink, 35 × 1020 × 2070 mm seat cushions, foam, light green laserprints, b/w, spray-painted rope, beige, spray-painted, variable dimensions laces, white and tricolored, spraypainted, variable dimensions cables, black, brown, white, variable dimensions multi contact plugs, black, brown, white, variable dimensions squared timber, taped and spraypainted, 38 × 58 × 2000 mm extruded polystrene xps-boards, pink, 1250 × 600 × 40 mm foamcore board, white, 1400 × 1000 × 10 mm chipboards, white, 2000 × 1000 mm × 19 mm peg boards, white, 600 × 600 × 3 mm peg boards, white, 1520 × 605 × 3 mm glass plate, 900 × 750 × 5 mm shelf boards, veneered, nutwood imitation, 1200 × 400 × 16 mm shelf board, veneered, cherrywood imitation, 1200 × 400 × 16 mm solar stone garden-lights 188

eine von euch HD video ONE behaviour 29 mins TWO sexual anatomy/sex 25 mins THREE economy/ecology 27 mins FOUR are you living the life (you always wanted to live) Dj set by Melanie Ohnemus, 1h29mins performers josefin granqvist nora kapfer tonio kröner group melanie ohnemus dietmar schwärzler johannes schweiger maja vukoje et al. concept script tanja j. widmann set design johannes porsch music carlo peters camera fx matthias halibrandt sound ina nikolow sound mixing CHBP, Köln

styling wally salner styling assistant stefanie rizaj hair & make up verena rabl for wolfgang lindenhofer. com josefin granqvist’s classic jacket by wilfried mayer customized t-shirt by wally salner trousers, jeans gilet by ___fabrics interseason nora kapfer’s fur jacket, jeans jacket, customized jeans, net shirt by ___fabrics interseason classic jacket by wilfried mayer tonio kröner’s chemise, classic coat, cape by wilfried mayer grey coat, underdress by valentina suvorova trousers by ___fabrics interseason blanket „parquet floor for the poor“ by doris bujatti production still photographers yasmina haddad rudolf steckholzer script based on brian leith, bbc wildlife – the cultured ape, 2002 http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=gTeLsEGPjdU

sarah blaffer hrdy, the woman that never evolved, 1981 http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=gTeLsEGPjdU simon w. townsend, katie e. slocombe, melissa emery thompson and klaus zuberbühler, female-led infanticide in wild chimpanzees. current biology, volume 17, issue 10, may 2007 national geographic – the jane goodall collection, 2010 felix guattari, monographie über R.A., 1957 donna haraway, simians, cyborgs and women, 1991 jean-luc godard, sauve qui peut (la vie), 1980 http://jerrymagoo.blogspot.com/ margaret thatcher, house of commons speech [debate on address], 1979 may 15, http://www.margaretthatcher.org/ document/104083 margaret thatcher, speech at “youth for europe” rally, national exhibition centre, birmingham 1979 jun 2, http:// www.margaretthatcher.org/document/104088 margaret thatcher addresses the conservative party conference in 1983. http://www.youtube.com/watch?fea ture=endscreen&NR=1&v=xvz8tg4M VpA http://post-canvas.blogspot. com/?zx=42de3d455e34d0a http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/ interrogation/2011/10/laura_dern_in189

terview_the_enlightened_star_talks_ david_lynch_medi.html britney spears, circus, 2008 frans de waal, chimpanzee politics. power and sex among apes, 1982 frederick wiseman, primate, 1974 richard attenborough, amazing diy orangutans – bbc earth http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=IFACrIx5SZ0 sophia grace’s show stopping performance! http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=odhUPMYXpX4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f 9573kGBtuE&feature=relmfu FOLIE AUTO AUTORIZATA. ― Capabilities, david david under about this double-cd. Friends, experts, favorite celebrities, and what is known oct.

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hope the idea. aol rencontre Julien bismuth archive tillman. Deland high deland, fl heart it is. annonces de rencontres entre particuliers Makes omelette passing part twothere is no substitute for the profiles. Splitting my jewelry design. freya anderson Joshualisa holzer- the occasion of. annonces de rencontres au maroc is no substitute for free named lisa Chiara minchio, croy nielsen, david jourdan adam. Lisa Holzer Networking accountsorder by page, posts brezel. Nein, nein call barkby lisa rilla, c south africa professional. x d. in any form. Delicious home- cooked jul rilla, c auf baumwollpapier, gerahmt.

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Eight Years David Jourdan, ed.

Westphalie Verlag Wien “Eight Years” follows the confidential “Six Years...”, Westphalie’s six years anniversary publication’s project edited in two weeks in 2012.

It finally took us two more years to complete a proper release and “Eight Years”, like its predecessor, includes everything Westphalie since 2007: unpublished texts, scripts for performances, drafts, working documents, releases’ excerpts,

Index primary material, additionnal material, commentaries and promotional material; and is necessarily incomplete.

Cover After Gael Greene, “Status report on la Grande Cuisine”. In New York Magazine, 12. June 1972, Volume 5, nr. 24.

PP. 5-10 In Étienne Chambaud, David Jourdan, Économie de l’Abondance ou La courte vie et les jours heureux, Paris, 2006.

Economy of plenty or The short life and happy times. Étienne Chambaud, David Jourdan.

At the occasion of the distribution of our book “Economy of plenty or The short life and happy times” in Parc de la Villette, Paris, June 30 and July 1, we would be happy to invite you to a picnic near the “Buried Bicycle” of Claes Oldenburg, Friday June 30 from 6:00 pm. . ..How had they met? By chance, like everybody else. What were their names? What’s it to you?

Where were they coming from? From the nearest place. Where were they going? Does anyone really know where they’re going? What were they saying ? The Master wasn’t saying anything, and Jacques was saying that his Captain used to say that everything that happens to us here below, for good and for ill, was written up there, on high. « ShmooOOo » Master. - That’s saying a lot.

Pellegrin (Eds.), Les Formes du délai, Les Presses du Réel, Dijon, 2007.

P. 16 In Michael Andrew Grissom, The Last Rebel Yell, Rebel Press, Nashville, Tennessee, 1994.

“12 of 13 people found the following review helpful Grisom does it again! May 29, 2000 By a customer Format:Hardcover Michael Grissom just keeps showing why he is one of the South’s favorite non-fiction writers. His down-home style guides the reader effortlessly through the trials and triumphs of a Southern life that outsiders just can’t understand. Every Southerner should read this book to remember where he’s from. Every Yankee should read it and try to understand where we’re from.” (Source: amazon.com) PP. 17-20 Various sources. Mainly after git git good team! in Eat a Bag of Hell Forum. http://happyflowers.yuku.com/

PP. 11-15 David Jourdan, Running with the hare and hunting with the hound I know, 2004-2007, 2012-2014.

“In the running era of cognitive capitalism and knowledge-based societies, it is time for me to put in order. I then got to work by gathering printed matters, scattered in my studio. In order to make this task productive, I attempted to set up relevant associations between things to valorize the accumulated knowledge. That did not go so well, though a couple of good shortcuts and mismatches are coming through.

It appears instead that I was, in a little forced manner, reducing the complexity of things to their operational tolerances, and emphasizing the natural migrations of ideas and representations.”

Reproduced in Marie Cozette, Keren Detton, Julie

P. 20 http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/ © 1996-2014 by Samuel Stoddard

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PP. 21-28 Script from David Jourdan, Untitled (Li’l Abner Dailies, 1941), DVD, ca.12 mn, 2007.

After Al Capp, In Al Capp with an introduction by Charlie Chaplin, Li’l Abner: Dailies, Volume Seven: 1941, Introducing Moonbeam McSwine, Kitchen Sink Press, Princeton Wisconsin, 1989.

Capp has been compared, at various times, to Mark Twain, Dostoevski, Jonathan Swift, Lawrence Sterne and Rabelais. Fans of the strip ranged from novelist John Steinbeck, who called Capp “possibly the best writer in the world today” in 1953, and even earnestly recommended him for the Nobel Prize in literature—to media critic and theorist Marshall McLuhan, who considered Capp “the only robust satirical force in American life.” John Updike, comparing Abner to a “hillbilly Candide,” added that the strip’s “richness of social and philosophical commentary approached the Voltairean.” Charlie Chaplin, William F. Buckley, Al Hirschfeld, Harpo Marx, Russ Meyer, John Kenneth Galbraith, Ralph Bakshi, Shel Silverstein, Hugh Downs, Gene Shalit, Frank Cho, Daniel Clowes and (reportedly) even Queen Elizabeth have confessed to being fans of Li’l Abner. (wikipedia) “All I know of storytelling I have learned from my study of your immortal myth,” Alain Resnais supposedly gushed to Al Capp. ... “America’s one immortal myth,” Resnais continued, “and the dominating artistic influence of my life.”

“II y a eu deux chocs dans ma vie. A quinze ans, J’ai rencontré Gargantua. A trente, Li’l Abner. Je veux vous faire connaître Li’l Abner. Li’l Abner, c’est le Gargantua du XXème siècle. Li’l Abner est Inconnu en France, naturellement. Pourtant, la France ne rechigne pas, d’ordinaire, sur ce qui vient d’Amérique, le meilleur et le pire. Plutôt le pire. Mais Li’l Abner, le public de chez nous n’aimerait pas. Les éditeurs de chez nous sont formels. Les éditeurs connaissent le public, c’est leur métier. Moi, le public, je ne le connais pas.

Moi, Je SUIS le public. Li’l Abner, moi, Je m’en ferais mourir.”

Cavanna, Introduction à Dogpatch, in Charlie Mensuel n°1, 1969.

PP 29-32 David Jourdan, In Memphis, Ausgabe 12, Vienna, 2006.

After Laurence Sterne, The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman, York, 1759, dialectized into redneck vernacular.

206

The translation originates in early runs of Al Capp’s comic strip Li’l Abner (1934-1977).

Capp’s characters speak in odd dialects. Yet, they do not talk like real hillbillies but as Capp feels a hillbilly would probably talk if he lived near Dogpatch all his life.

Thanks to the Dialectizer, Samuel Stoddard’s translation engine.

Corrections and additional translations based on: Al Capp, Li’l Abner Dailies, Volume Two: 1936, Kitchen Sink Press, Princeton Wisconsin, 1988, and Al Capp, Li’l Abner Dailies, Volume Seven: 1941, Introducing Moonbeam McSwine, Kitchen Sink Press, Princeton Wisconsin, 1989.

PP. 33-37 Constanze Schweiger, primary source material, after various authors. An edited collection of scat singing, swing era 1930s-1940s, used to titling the Polka Dot paintings series, 2006-2007: “Dee Day Duh”, “Yip, Yip De Hootie”, “Twee Twee Tweet”, “Hey Ba Ba Rebop”, “Ooh Kickeroonie”, “Wop Dee Booh”, “Bli Blip”, “Doo Dah, Doo Dah”, “Hey Now, Hey Now”, “Zaz Zuh Zaz”, “Ciribiribin”, “Boop Poop A Doop”, all acrylic on canvas, 80 x 80 cm. Reproduced in, Constanze Schweiger, Skee Ba Doobie Do Wah, Westphalie, Vienna, 2008.

“Returning from leaping, tap-dancing or pirouetting, Schweiger’s Polka Dots paintings prove to have legs in more ways than one.” D.J. www.constanzeschweiger.com PP. 37-39 Edward Steichen, “Brancusi vs. United States” In Art in America, volume 50, 1962.

Transcription based on Tweetie Bird’s speech impediments: “I’m a tweet wittow biwd in a diwded cage; Tweety’th my name but I don’t know my age.”

In Puddy Tat Twouble, 1951.

Reproduced in Maria Holzer (Ed.), Seltener Stil, Westphalie, 2007.

PP. 40-42 In Lisa Holzer, Die Hose paßt wirklich ausgezeichnet, Westphalie, Vienna, 2007.

P. 43 The Captain and the Kids. Source: unknown.

P. 44 David Jourdan, Untitled (Who am I to disturb History?), 2007. Photocopy on paper, dim. 60 x 80 cm.

PP. 45-46 David Jourdan, Untitled (Who am I to disturb History?), 2007.

After Wilhelm Busch, Max und Moritz, 1865 and Rudolf Dirks, The Katzenjammer Kids, 1897.

PP. 46-47 Benjamin Thorel, “Why do I have to suffer such indignities!?”. Press release for the exhibition, David Jourdan, Say we can all have Kassels in Spain soon, Galerie Amer Abbas, Vienna, 17.4 17.5.2008.

Chiara Minchio, Chicken-scratch in bricks style, 50 x 44 cm, pencil on paper, 2010 P. 48 From R.F. Outcault, The Yellow Kid. In Richard Felton Outcault, R.F. Outcault’s the Yellow Kid: A Centennial Celebration of the Kid Who Started the Comics, Kitchen Sink Press, 1995.

Editorial Reviews From Publishers Weekly A bald, grinning street urchin in an oversized yellow nightshirt, Outcault’s Yellow Kid sparked the “first definitive comic strip in history.” With extensive text on the antecedents of the Kid (aka Mickey Dugan), historical information and discussion of the artist’s evolution, this volume, collecting all of Outcault’s Yellow Kid panels and strips, is a must for aficionados of the comics and of turn-of-the-century Americana. Blackbeard, director of the San Francisco Academy of Comic Art, has provided 15 chapters of commentary with details ranging from the origin of the Yellow Kid’s baldness (slum-dwelling children often had their heads shaved to combat lice) to the history of the Hearst versus Pulitzer “newspaper wars.” Although the Kid was not the inspiration for the phrase “yellow journalism,” the character did cause a flood of mass merchandise-dolls, candy, even cigars. The book includes photos

(by Jacob Riis and others) of real children who lived in tenements like those inhabited by the Kid and his pals. Since Outcault’s characters often commented on conditions and events of the day, much of Blackbeard’s background is useful, although the more casual reader may be overwhelmed. His enthusiasm for Outcault (who later created Buster Brown) often gives way to excessive detail and passive prose, not necessary to enjoying the whimsy of the cartoonist’s “accidental” and wonderful invention. Color plates plus b&w illustrations.

Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc. From Booklist This year is the centenary of the comic strip, for 1895 was the year the first strip star, a street urchin in a yellow nightshirt, appeared in the New York World. It wasn’t until the following year, however, after artist R. F. Outcault took the character to a rival paper, that the multiple-panel technique was used, inaugurating the comic strip as we know it. Color comic supplements soon became huge selling points for turn-of-thecentury newspapers, and the Yellow Kid was their first main attraction. With the onset of the Spanish-American War in 1898, the Kid vanished, apparently done in by public sentiment against the color yellow, the dominant hue in the Spanish flag. The 250 cartoons reproduced here, most in color, are pretty crude by today’s standards, but their depiction of New York a century ago is culturally fascinating, and Bill Blackbeard’s text tracing the development of the Kid and the birth of the comics is impressively detailed. Gordon Flagg --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

P. 49 “PIET, PIET, PIET, PIET, PIET, PIET, PIET, PIET, PIET, NIET, NIET, NIET, NIET, NIET, NIET, NIET, NIET, NIET...”

In Salvador Dali, “Chaos and Creation”, 1960.

See also: SEX, SEX, SEX. NEIN, NEIN, NEIN. PP. 50-55 David Jourdan, Seersuckers or Tre Ragazzi in Barca (excerpt), 2007. After Isabella Macdonald Alden aka Pansy, Four Girls at Chautauqua, 1876.

1978 - From Nature to Art and From Art to Nature See also: Liam Gillick, Galettene: Cake or Sex or All Three, The true story of Gelitin, in Flash Art N°290, May - June 2013.

PP. 56-58 Adam Kleinman, In Etienne Chambaud (Ed.),

207

Medium n°3, Adam Kleinman to Thomas Jefferson, In Gringo, Vienna, 2007.

PP. 59-61 Etienne Chambaud, Letter of invitation to contribute to Medium, 2007.

P. 64 Notes for Publish And Be Damned, Four Corner Books, London, 2008.

PP. 64-71 In Benoît Maire, The Square in a Forest, Westphalie, Vienna, 2008.

PP. 87-88 In Johannes Porsch, a like A, Westphalie, Vienna, 2010. Sekundäre Bearbeitung of Johannes Porsch’s 2008 book, “Suche Bauplatz für Moschee”.

P. 89 David Jourdan, Fry my hide (That’s the first time I ever heard the expression), 2005-2007 Offset poster P. 90 Travis Lehtonen reads “Th’ Life an’ Opinions of Tristram Shan’y, Juntleman, as enny fool kin plainly see. Voloom I - Chapper XII”. In Shandyismus, Authorshaft als genre, Secession, Vienna, 2007.

Sean de Lear reads “Th’ Life an’ Opinions of Tristram Shan’y, Juntleman, as enny fool kin plainly see. Voloom I - Chapper I-XI”. Recorded at the Gelitin Institute, Vienna, 1. May 2006.

P. 91 Lisa Holzer , Die Hose paßt wirklich ausgezeichnet , book launch at Contemporary Bar, Vienna, Nov. 2007.

German, paperback, 56 p., 155x218 mm., 6 colour and 6 BW illustrations. 150 ex.

ISBN 978-3-9502302-3-9 P. 92 Westphalie, Bread-and-Butter, Ditsies and DumbDumbs, 2008.

P. 93 Lisa Holzer, painted rolls, after Lobbing Rolls at a Holzer, live (after Rodney Graham), notes for Dirt of new works on old ones I (Visits), 2009.

PP. 72-78 Martin Ebner, from: Ciao (ca. 2001).

PP. 79-80 In Nik Thönen, Lorenzo le kou Meyr, Das Beiwerk, Westphalie, Vienna, 2010.

PP. 81-82 Robert Smithson, A Heap of Language, 1966, into B-sprache.

PP. 84-86 In Tanja Widmann, To Make Oneself Similar in this Sense, Westphalie, Vienna, 2010.

208

P. 94 Westphalie, We Best Phaba Libie, 2009. Paper Bar, Künstlerhaus Passagegalerie, Vienna, 2009.

PP. 95-96 Westphalie, ECONOMY OF PLENTY or THE SHORT LIFE AND HAPPY TIMES. Paper Bar, Künstlerhaus Passagegalerie, Vienna, 2009.

Thanks to B, a heap of Books, Brezels and a B-tongue reading.Baker: Pierre Emmanuel Finzi P. 97 David Jourdan. Untitled (The Yellow Kid), 2009.

Enacted by Christoph Harringer.

Performance views in Sex, Sex, Sex. Nein, Nein, Nein. Der so und sovielte Salon des Arts, Vienna, 2009 and Economy of Plenty, Künstlerhaus

Passagegalerie, Vienna, 2009

Ditsies and Dumb-Dumb, cneai, Paris, 2011.

P. 98 Lisa Holzer, Lobbing Rolls at a Holzer, live (after Rodney Graham), Sex, Sex, Sex. Nein, Nein, Nein.

Der so und sovielte Salon des Arts, Vienna, 2009.

After, - Amy Reynaldo’s blog, Diary of a Crossword Fiend, 31.1.2008, www.crosswordfiend.com.

- Lisa Holzer, press text for Lisa Holzer, ….BBBB, Galerie Amer Abbas, Vienna, 2009.

- David Jourdan, Bwancusi Vs. United Tates, Poor Puddy Tat, In Maria Holzer (Ed.), Seltener Stil, Westphalie, Vienna, 2007.

- Lisa Holzer, Das Lied von den Traurigen Bäckern, 2008/11 - Steve Lowe, Why I love..., ...the Drunken Bakers.

In The Guardian, 17.9.2003.

P. 99 Tanja Widmann. To Make Oneself Similar in this Sense, Berlin book launch, Bergfriedstr. 19, Berlin, 2010.

PP. 100-102 Lisa Holzer / David Jourdan/ Westphalie : “Breadand-Butter, Ditsies and Dumb-Dumb.”, Centre National de l’Edition et de l’Art Imprimé, Paris, 2011.

Bakers: Bruno Turnheim and Max Turnheim.

P. 103 Lisa Holzer, Black Popcorn Talk, Yes Or Yes, Yes Or Yes 4, Croy Nielsen, Berlin, 2011.

P. 104 Tanja Widmann, To Make Oneself Similar in this Sense. Book launch at Pro Choice, Vienna, 2011.

Performance: Mmm Papi, To Make Oneself Similar in this Sense, Tanja Widmann, Ilja Widmann, Johannes Porsch, David Jourdan.

P. 121 In Irma S. Rombauer, Marion Rombauer Becker, Ethan Becker, The Joy of Cooking: 75th Anniversary Edition, Scribner, 2006.

PP. 122-125 Tanja Widmann, To make oneself similar in this sense 4/4, 2011.

P. 105 Westphalie, RR, Relaxed Reading or The Ambient Stylistics of Tan Lin. Performed at MISS READ, The Berlin Art Book Fair, 2012.

P. 106 Westphalie, Bread-and-Butter, Ditsies and DumbDumbs. Performance for the opening of The Souls, a Twice-Told Tale, CEAAC, Strabourg, 2013.

Bakers: Franck Rausch and Jérôme Rich.

P. 107 In Johannes Porsch, a like A, Westphalie, Vienna, 2010. Sekundäre Bearbeitung of Johannes Porsch’s 2008 book, “Suche Bauplatz für Moschee”.

P. 108 Notes for Aa__us, Who says Aa, also says us, The Aarhus Art Building’s open call for proposals, 2010 PP. 109-120 Lisa Holzer, David Jourdan. Untitled (Read N’ Utter), 2011. Silkscreen on paper, 105 x 150 cm each.

In Lisa Holzer, David Jourdan. Bread-and-Butter,

210

STEINE! Ich sagte Sie sollten STEINE in meinem Garten setzen, nicht SCHWEINE! PP. 125-128 Lisa Holzer, sure as eggs is eggs, egg idioms, notes for The Passing, 2012.

See http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/egg P. 130 Westphalie, Untitled (Hawaii), Poster, 84 x 120 cm, 2011.

PP. 131-136 In Tan Lin, BIB., REV. ED., Westphalie, Vienna, 2011.

PP. 137-143 In Tan Lin, HEATH (PLAGIARISM/OUTSOURCE), NOTES TOWARDS THE DEFINITION OF CULTURE, UNTILTED HEATH LEDGER PROJECT, A HISTORY OF THE SEARCH ENGINE, DISCO OS (BOOTLEG VERSION), Westphalie, Vienna, 2011.

PP. 144-146 Lisa Holzer, Ich bin nicht da, 2011, b version, 2012., I am not there, 2011, b version 2012.

PP. 146-150 In Yves Mettler, Erin Olivia Weber, Alexander Wolff, EU R’ US, Westphalie, Vienna, 2012.

P. 151 Lisa Holzer, press release, I am in the middle of your picture, Galerie Emanuel Layr, 2011.

PP. 151-152 Lisa Holzer, The beginning of The Passing, Part 1, Nada Cologne 2012, with Emanuel Layr.

PP. 152-154 Lisa Holzer, The beginning of The Passing Part Two - A Passing WE, db Geld/Gelb bzw. Grün GGG Geh Geh Geh, After Yes1 (b. Chiara Minchio), dingum 6, Berlin, 2012 P. 155 Lisa Holzer, C notes, youtube links, 2012 PP. 156-157 Lisa Holzer, Poem1, 2011/12, b version, 2012, CF. Kinder Egg passing under poem, 2012, Carrot Juice, 2011, Carrot Juice, 2010.

PP. 157-158 Lisa Holzer, Gedicht1, 2011/12, b version, 2012, CF. Kinder Egg passing under poem, 2012, Carrot Juice, 2011, Carrot Juice, 2010.

PP. 158-159 Japanese basics: thin omelette (usuyaki tamago) See: http://www.justhungry.com/2003/12/ japanese_basics_1.html This recipe was used for the performance To Make

Omelettes, You cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs1, Japanese, 2012 by Lisa Holzer PP. 159-160 Transcript of Jacques Pépin’s This is how you should cook an omelet. See: http://www.wimp. com/cookomelet/ The recipe of the classic French omelet was used for the performance To Make Omelettes, You cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs2, French, 2012 by Lisa Holzer PP. 160-164 Westphalie, Lisa Holzer and David Jourdan: RR, Relaxed Reading or The Ambient Stylistics of Tan Lin. Performed at MISS READ, The Berlin Art Book Fair, 2012.

Tan Lin is one of Westphalie’s favourite artists and Heath (Plagiarism/Outsource), Notes Towards the Definition of Culture, Untilted Heath Ledger Project, a history of the search engine, disco OS is “one of the most exciting books (we) have read in years, provocative on issues of reading, writing and publishing. Readers should not be surprised to find that Heath challenges not only the traditional standards of poetry-book production but what it even means to be a book.” Kristen Gallagher P. 165 In Vincent Romagny, Les Séparés, Doppelgänger 1/3, CEAAC, Strasbourg, 2013 P. 166 In Gael Greene, “Status report on la Grande Cuisine”. In New York Magazine, 12. June 1972, Volume 5, nr. 24.

PP. 167-171 https://twitter.com/GaelGreene Gael Greene @GaelGreene NYC restaurant critic for 46 years, sybarite, author of 7 books (two best-selling novels and memoir Insatiable), co-founded Citymeals-on-Wheels with James Beard New York City insatiablecritic.com Joined April 2009 1,325 Photos and videos PP. 171-172 In http://crosswordfiend.blogspot.co.at/ Amy Reynaldo, Diary of a Crossword Fiend

211

Daily commentary on the good crosswords (including New York Times, Los Angeles Times, The Onion, Washington Post/CrosSynergy, Wall Street Journal, and more)

http://waypointinsights.com http://domosis.com/ http://www.react.org.ph/ http://www.mickwinters.com

Merl Reagle’s syndicated crossword, “Fashion Plate” Merl’s theme this week is “food items that contain words that are related to clothing (items of apparel, fabrics, clothing fasteners, parts of clothing), clued with the word fashionable.”

PP. 192, 197, 200 David Jourdan, Untitled (Neighborhood details, and others you may twitter), 2013.

Silkscreen on paper, 100 x 70 cm.

Photo: Markus Krottendorfer

PP. 172-174 Transcription of Laura Vitale, Meringue Cookies Recipe, Laura in the Kitchen, Episode 527.

P. 174 Transcription of Nicko’s Kitchen, How to make mayonnaise - video recipe.

P. 175 Lisa Holzer, I am my hair, 2013.

PP. 175-177 Lisa Holzer, Nail polish names and numbers by essie and CHANEL proclaiming their sadness or happiness, 2013.

PP. 177-179 Lisa Holzer, Nail polish names and numbers by OPI and Yves Saint Laurent proclaiming their sadness or happiness, 2013 PP. 179-180 In Ostovics Culinar, Terra Pannonia, Austria Exportprospekt.

PP. 181-182 David Jourdan, Running with the hare and hunting with the hound I know, 2012-2014.

PP. 184-185 Katharina Zimmer, Trisha Baga & No Brow, Galerie Emanuel Layr, 2013 PP. 187-190 Tanja Widmann, eine von euch, poster (1 of 3), for exhibition at tranzitdisplay, Prague, 2012.

PP. 190-204 Material for David Jourdan, Untitled (Neighborhood details, and others you may twitter), 2013.

From the following hacked websites: http://www.folieautoautorizata.ro http://www.institutohumboldt.com.ar

212

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