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SEPTEMBER 17-23 // 2015




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2 W September 17 - September 23, 2015



INSIDE THIS WEEK You’re All Just Jealous of My Jetpack by Tom Gauld



News4 Vancouver Shakedown5 Style File6 A Good Chick to Know6 Nosh7 The Growler8 By the Bottle9 Fresh Sheet10 Music11 What’s On12 Reel People14 VIFF Guide14 Arts16 Real Estate17 Whole Nourishment20 Horoscopes21 Sex with Mish Way21





What a treat it is to take the bus for the usual one hour wait/schlep up Robson from Denman without being diverted for the sake of three benches or three little houses (read: “art installations”) blocking the road at Robson Square. These objet d ‘art could comfortably be accommodated on the massive sidewalk in front of the gallery or below, thereby giving semi-adequate service to one of the most densely populated areas in the world. While 10 people might enjoy sprawling on a bench on a road, this “world-class city” needs to operate more effectively. –Victoria Joss


2015 could be the year that strategic voting finally arrives in Canada.

Canadians who dislike Stephen Harper tend to do so intensely, but for differing reasons. For some, it’s his skyrocketing debt and dismal job creation record. For others, it’s his war on science and on the environment. For yet others, it’s his childish militarism. Heck, some just find him personally repulsive. Whatever. A quarter to a third of the electorate will still vote for Harper, some of them enthusiastically. (If that includes you, feel free to skip the rest of this letter.) But the vast majority of Canadians have had enough of him. We just haven’t made up our minds on who we would prefer. My hunch is that many of the remaining majority would be OK with either a Liberal or an NDP victory. Here’s where it gets interesting. In every election since Confederation,

there have been no more than two parties who could realistically expect to form government. Not this time. In 2015, we have a genuine race between three contenders. Of course, Stephen Harper’s fervent hope is that the NDP and Liberals will come out about even, and that, aided by an avalanche of last-minute Conservative advertising, he can slip in again. Those of us who want our country back on track, towards Canadian ideals of fairness, democracy, peacekeeping and environmental responsibility, have only one realistic course of action in October. Take a close look at who has the best chance of winning. Put your personal preference aside and support the stronger opposition candidate. If we all do that, the worst outcome will be an infinite improvement. –Patrick Truelove

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PLEASE READ THE FINE PRINT: Offers valid until September 30, 2015. See for complete details on all cash back offers. In the event of any discrepancy or inconsistency between Toyota prices, rates and/or other information contained on and that contained on, the latter shall prevail. Errors and omissions excepted.*Lease example: 2015 Tundra 4X4 Dbl Cab SR 4.6L Automatic UM5F1T-6A MSRP is $37,935 and includes $1,855 freight/PDI leased at 1.49% over 60 months with $2,925 down payment equals 120 semi-monthly payments of $185 with a total lease obligation of $25,168. Lease 60 mos. based on 100,000 km, excess km charge is $.15 Up to $6,000 Non-stackable Cash Back available on select 2015 Tundra models. . †Finance example: 0.99% finance for 60 months, upon credit approval, available on 2015 Tundra 4X4 Dbl Cab SR 4.6L Automatic UM5F1T-6A. Applicable taxes are extra.**Lease example: 2015 RAV4 FWD LE Automatic ZFREVT-A with a vehicle price of $26,220 includes $1,855 freight/PDI leased at 1.49% over 60 months with $1,575 down payment equals 120 semi-monthly payments of $125 with a total lease obligation of $16,554. Lease 60 mos. based on 100,000 km, excess km charge is $.10. Up to $2,000 Non-stackable Cash Back available on select 2015 RAV4 models. ‡Finance example: 0.49% finance for 36 months, upon credit approval, available on 2015 RAV4 FWD LE Automatic ZFREVT-A. Applicable taxes are extra. ***Lease example: 2015 Tacoma Double Cab V6 5A SR5 Standard Package 4x4 Automatic MU4FNA-A with a vehicle price of $34,075 includes $1,855 freight/PDI leased at 2.99% over 60 months with $2,925 down payment equals 120 semi-monthly payments of $165 with a total lease obligation of $22,692. Lease 60 mos. based on 100,000 km, excess km charge is $.10. Up to $2,000 Non-stackable Cash Back available on select 2015 Tacoma models. ‡‡Finance example: 0.99% finance for 48 months, upon credit approval, available on 2015 Tacoma Double Cab V6 5A 4x4 Automatic MU4FNA-A. Applicable taxes are extra. Down payment, first semi-monthly payment and security deposit plus GST and PST on first payment and full down payment are due at lease inception. A security deposit is not required on approval of credit. ‡‡Non-stackable Cash back offers valid until September 30, 2015, 2015 on select 2015 models and may not be combined with Toyota Financial Services (TFS) lease or finance rates. If you would like to lease or finance at standard TFS rates (not the above special rates), then you may by September 30, 2015. Cash incentives include taxes and are applied after taxes have been charged on the full amount of the negotiated price. See for complete details on all cash back offers. ‡‡‡Semi-monthly lease offer available through Toyota Financial Services on approved credit to qualified retail customers on most 24, 36, 48 and 60 month leases of new and demonstrator Toyota vehicles. First semi-monthly payment due at lease inception and next monthly payment due approximately 15 days later and semi-monthly thereafter throughout the term. Toyota Financial Services will waive the final payment. Semi-monthly lease offer can be combined with most other offers excluding the First Payment Free and Encore offers. First Payment Free offer is valid for eligible TFS Lease Renewal customers only. Toyota semi-monthly lease program based on 24 payments per year, on a 48-month lease, equals 96 payments, with the final 96th payment waived by Toyota Financial Services. Not open to employees of Toyota Canada, Toyota Financial Services or TMMC/TMMC Vehicle Purchase Plan. Lease payments can be made monthly or semi-monthly basis but cannot be made on a weekly basis. Weekly payments are for advertising purposes only.Visit your Toyota Dealer or for more details. Some conditions apply; offers are time limited and may change without notice. Dealer may lease/sell for less.


MIKE HOWELL @howellings

The Vision Vancouver-led city council that hired city manager Penny Ballem in 2008 to steer an ambitious agenda that included reducing the number of homeless people on the street and preparing Vancouver for the 2010 Winter Olympics decided Tuesday not to renew her contract. Mayor Gregor Robertson didn’t use the word “fired” but made it clear that Ballem’s almost seven-year run as the city’s top bureaucrat was over, saying it was time for “a fresh approach as we

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Mayor dumps city manager, calls for ‘fresh approach’ City manager Penny Ballem will receive a $556,000 severance after the Vision Vancouver-led council decided Tuesday to not renew her contract. Dan Toulgoet photo

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according to the mayor, who spoke at a news conference at city hall. “I don’t believe she had intentions to retire,” Robertson told reporters, who asked the mayor several times to give specific reasons for parting ways with Ballem. “Refreshing leadership is necessary and I think -- without pointing specifically to changes that need to happen -- I think there’s an opportunity with new leadership to address some of those concerns around a more collaborative approach as a city.”

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YOUR CITY Continued from page 4 Robertson said he promised in the 2014 civic election campaign to “do things differently,” referring to complaints from the public about lack of consultation at city hall and the pace of change in neighbourhoods. He also said with the recent departures and retirements of chief engineer Peter Judd (April), general manager of community services Brenda Prosken (June) and head of planning Brian Jackson (November) that it was a good time to create a new leadership team. Deputy city manager Sadhu Johnston will serve as acting city manager while the city conducts an international search for a new manager. Johnston was brought in under Ballem from Chicago and has been the city’s point person on council’s environmental plan to see Vancouver become the “greenest city in the world” by 2020. All three NPA councillors said they first learned of the mayor’s intentions to not renew Ballem’s contract at an in-camera meeting following the morning public meeting. Councillors are prohibited from discussing in-camera matters but the NPA trio was clearly not happy with how they received the news.

“We were informed that she was leaving immediately,” said NPA Coun. Elizabeth Ball. Ball said the NPA’s relationship with Ballem was “extremely positive and neutral.” She and her NPA colleagues Melissa De Genova and George Affleck said they were concerned the city was losing many of its leaders this year. “It’s a difficult time for staff to transition,” said De Genova, noting she was worried about the effect on morale. Ballem was perceived by some at city hall as a micromanager. When the mayor was asked by a reporter about critics describing her as a “bully,” Robertson said Ballem set an intense pace and was “a force of nature and got an enormous amount of work done here.” Former head planner Brent Toderian, who was let go by the city a few years ago took to Twitter Tuesday, writing: “What goes around, comes around.” City council will be without Ballem as it faces a big policy decision this fall when it decides whether to demolish the Georgia and Dunsmuir viaducts. Council also continues to work on creating more so-called affordable housing in Vancouver. A new city manager will likely not be hired for three to six months. Ballem could not be reached for comment. W

The summer of garbage Grant Lawrence Vancouver Shakedown @GrantLawrence

It’s amazing what a drought will do to a city. Forget the water restrictions, the endlessly sunny days, and our crispy dry forests. If you took even a sideways glance around Vancouver this summer, you would have noticed the garbage. Garbage overflowing from the bins on the corner, in the gutters, strewn along sidewalks and alleyways, and across our beaches; litter as miniscule as cigarette butts in doorways to as major as mattresses and couches left to rot on roadsides. Illegal dumping is becoming rampant, in dead end streets and cul-de-sacs, wooded areas, and even onto private city lots. Sadly, garbage begets garbage. Yes, this is Vancouver I’m writing about, the city that once had the reputation amongst travellers and tourists as crystal clean and glistening. It’s amazing what a summer without rain will expose. Have we relied on

C’mon Vancouver, we’re better than this. Grant Lawrence photo our soakings to regularly wash us of our trash, to clean our streets? Has the anti-litter movement of the mid-20th century not clicked with generations of the 21st? Why are there no garbage bins at most bus stops in East Vancouver? Our city enjoys a huge yearly influx of tourists flooding in over the summer months, a massive boost for our economy. But with Expo nearly 30 years in the rear view mirror and now five years after the Olympics, we should certainly have the infrastructure in place to handle the crowds and their tossables. A pair of tourists I spoke to in August who

had travelled here from New York thought we were in the middle of a summer garbage strike. When New Yorkers think your city is a mess, you know you have a problem. For all of its touted “Greenest City” initiatives, it’s so disappointing that Vancouver’s sidewalk garbage cans collect only that, garbage, lagging far behind other cities in BC and across Canada that allow recycling and composting of waste on any street corner. The sidewalk garbage cans and their outward holders for refundable drink containers were once of good intention, but are now laughingly ineffective.

When it comes to taking out the trash, it looks like the chore is coming down to you and me. How about this: let’s pretend the entire city is your yard, your own private property.Think about that. Do you dump garbage out of your kitchen window onto your lawn? Do you toss out your used appliances into your front yard? Is your backyard filled with your last 20 years of computer monitors? Unless you live on Mitchell Island, the answer is probably no.You pride yourself on keeping your private property neat and tidy and free of refuse.You probably actively recycle and compost, too. If we can apply the oftmaligned “NIMBY” thinking (“not in my backyard”) to our entire city, maybe together we can reverse Vancouver’s disturbing littering trend and get Lotus Land back to its former glistening self. Let’s treat Vancouver like our own private property. Bend over, pick up a piece of trash like it was tossed onto your lawn, and throw it away or recycle it properly. The summer of garbage is over. Let’s clean up our mess. W




Starting October 5, there will be just 1 zone for buses and HandyDART, all day, every day. Whether you’re using cash, FareSavers, a monthly pass or a Compass product, you’ll only need to pay for 1-zone travel on buses.

Multi-zone transfers to SkyTrain and SeaBus will require AddFare if travelling weekdays before 6:30 p.m. Transfers to buses won’t require additional fare.

Learn more at or call 604.953.3333

September 17 - September 23, 2015 W 5




Designer Files: Working with white Jennifer Scott A Good Chick to Know


A few months back I shared my journey into the realm of pet décor timed with a recent move; well, I’m at it again – I’m moving.Yes, again.With my designer digs for Fido nailed, this move has led me to a new décor dilemma: how to bring an Edwardian character house into 2015 and beyond without disturbing the charm or breaking the bank. When considering what the biggest visual impact would be to transform the traditional elements of the house into an effect that suits my bohemianmeets-rock-’n’-roll style, the obvious option became the walls.When mulling over the many palettes for painting out the interior, it was actually a lack of colour that stood out. Choosing to white wash the entire space – walls, ceilings, trims, stairs – allows the space to take on a gallery inspired vibe, with the décor pieces able to stand out and set the tone. Not only is a fresh white

canvas perfect for the colour-commitment-phobes (accessories can be swapped out at any time to change the palette) but learning how to work with white walls and use them to your advantage can be the secret to successful design for renters who may not have another colour option for their space. I’ve chosen to work with an all-white interior for many of my clients, and I’ve discovered some insider tricks to mastering the white wall. Most important is a great painter (someone who will do an awesome job and not gouge you on price); I’ve sworn by Martin Granatstein of Coastal Concepts for years, both for clients as well as my own homes. With my install team lined up, I then work with a checklist of my key tips for a successful white room:


I believe that this is the fundamental step to a successful white space – whites can vary so dramatically, with each tone offering a different vibe. My personal preference is to always opt for a cool, stark

tone-on-tone is through wallpaper – whether it’s a crisp white or white on off-white, the effect is stunning.


Placing splashes of colour against a white backdrop can help draw focus to them. white (White Mountain 50BB 83/020 by CIL to be exact) as it creates a chic gallery effect in natural light, yet is easily softened by ambient lighting. Some other whites I love are All White No. 2005 by Farrow & Ball, and Mirage White, Polar White and White Heaven, all by Benjamin Moore.


Even if you’ve decided to paint out all your walls,

trims and ceilings in the same white, as I did, playing up the tone-on-tone effect within the palette creates a stunning effect. Using the full range of whites, from bright whites to off-whites and ivories to even the light greys and natural linen tones in the details of the room gives a sense of depth to the space and amps up the interest in the room. One of my favourite ways to incorporate

The idea here is to use texture in lieu of colour to create visual interest. Rather than choosing surfaces that match, opt for a wide variety of finishes within the room. With accessories, think about mixing matte finishes with glossy, or opting for pieces that have a textured surface. With the textiles in the room, blending fabrics and textures will give a much more striking effect than one all over sense of touch; if you have lightweight linen curtains, consider a heavily textured area rug to balance it out and choosing mismatched throw pillows rather than perfect pairs.


Even for a minimalist décor, when you’re working with a monochromatic palette you can almost over-accessorize without it reading as overwhelming. It becomes substantially more important

to incorporate and layer textiles like your throw blankets, curtains and area rugs (one of my fave tricks is layering rugs) to warm the space and avoid a stark or cold feel to the room. Even accessories can be layered – rather than just displaying your pretty new candle or found item on your coffee table or shelf, put it atop a curated collection of books or magazines to give it more presence and also add more depth to the overall appeal of the room.


Especially in an almost completely monochromatic space, the use of small hits of a focal colour make a strong statement.The eye is immediately drawn to those areas, with the subtler white details showing themselves with time.The best part about this use of colour is that smaller accessories can be swapped out at any time for a fresh take, and an all-white room supports a complete shift from one accent colour to another. Essentially, it becomes a perfect backdrop for your exploration of colour. W

A first look inside Vancouver’s new Nordstrom Niki Hope Style File


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The new Pacific Centre Nordstrom opened its doors to the media last week revealing what will likely be a game changer in the downtown retail scene when it opens tomorrow (Sept. 18). The new 230,000-squarefoot, three-level store carries a number of exclusive-toCanada brands, but at the same time also offers many of the same designers and beauty products currently available at other retailers.What will likely distinguish Nordstrom could hinge on one element: service. “We will open with a fullservice concierge department,” said Nordstrom spokesperson John Bailey, who led the tour. “They can tell you about great destinations to visit; they will also check your bags while you are shopping, and if you need an umbrella or cab, they are happy to help with that as well.” The store will also offer 24-hour fashion emergency service – meaning if you have a middle-of-the-night fashion fiasco, Nordstrom’s got you covered, literally.You can dial up downtown Nordstrom for a fashion helpline that will deliver (for free, except of course the cost of the apparel) a new set of threads to get you through.

The new Pacific Centre Nordstrom is set to open Sept. 18. Dan Toulgoet photo “It’s great for people who might lose their luggage on a trip to Vancouver and might need a great suit for the next morning, for that meeting that is really important, and so you can call that phone number and someone will be there to assist,” Bailey explained. The store will also offer free delivery to downtown Vancouver, language assistants to help shoppers, and a VIP shopping room (a designer showroom with contemporary couches and a view that looks out to the Vancouver Art Gallery). The space itself is a welcome departure from the claustrophobic, dark, box-like experience of the old Eaton’s/

Sears building on the corner of Howe and Robson streets, replaced with windows that show off the city rather than trap shoppers in.The main floor features shoes, handbags, jewelry, beauty products, and a coffee shop, and is peppered with art installations, including several by Canadian artists. During the media tour, smiling, stylishly dressed staffers were busily preparing for the onslaught of eager shoppers expect to descend tomorrow. The second floor houses womenswear, including luxury designers and mid-range lines, while the top floor has menswear and childrenswear, along

with a full-service restaurant. The children’s department includes a playhouse with a flat-screen TV. Meanwhile, men can get their shoes shined for a mere $2.50, or grab a booze-filled beverage at Habitant, a cocktail lounge plopped right in the middle of the second floor. “That’s very important to us, that we can satisfy the needs of the entire family here,” Chris Wanlass, a 23year company veteran, who is running the new store, said during last week’s media tour. Menswear includes edgy brands Rag & Bone, Acne, A.P.C., along with Vancouvermade Wings & Horns. For women, the store offers designer shops such as Alexander McQueen (ready-towear), Burberry, Chloe, and Stella McCartney (ready-towear). Nordstrom Vancouver lines making their local debut in the city include Alice + Olivia, Natori, and Madewell. Nordstrom’s foray into Canada started last fall, when it opened its first cross-border store in Calgary. A second location opened in Ottawa last month.Vancouver is next with the official opening date set for Sept. 18, then three stores in Toronto over the next two years. W


For more photos of the new Nordstrom, visit




Clockwise from top left: Squid Ink conchiglie with octopus, clams, roasted peppers, olives, chili and lemon; The interior of Royal Dinette; Heirloom tomato sald with watermelon, goat feta, nasturtium and sourdough; Chef de cuisine Jack Chen. Jennifer Gauthier photos

Third time is another charm for chef/owner David Gunawan ROYAL DINETTE

905 Dunsmuir 604-974-8077 Open for lunch MondayFriday, 11:30am-2pm; dinner Monday-Saturday, 4:30pm-late.

Anya Levykh Nosh


David Gunawan is on a roll. If opening restaurants was like a horse race, he’d be the oddson favourite. His first shot at ownership, Farmer’s Apprentice, was awarded Best New Restaurant and Best New Casual Dining last year. Grapes and Soda, the wine bar he opened next door to Farmer’s a few months ago, is constantly busy. And, now, he’s gone into partnership with the Donnelly Group and opened Royal Dinette on the ground floor of The Blackbird pub in the financial district. The partnership – and location – might seem to be an odd one. Gunawan’s hyper-local, sustainable and organic ethos is not an obvious fit with the chain of pubs and casual restaurants, but Donnelly seems to have taken a hands-off approach, allowing Gunawan, along with restaurant chef Jack Chen, to do what they do best, which is create delicious food out of simple

ingredients in amazingly innovative ways. As for the location, it’s definitely an area that has been crying out for something more casual, approachable and adult, and hopefully the office inhabitants will take notice of the excellent nosh. Take the duck liver parfait ($3), a snack on the summer menu.The liver was whipped into silky-smooth airiness and dotted across a large square of grilled bread, interspersed with dollops of tayberry jam (housemade, natch). Simple and so pretty, I spent two minutes just admiring it before biting in to what was an absolutely perfect combination of earthy-sweet-tart. Lamb tartare ($18), a special one night, was sublime.When it comes to tartare of any sort, knife work plays a large role in determining taste, and the precise micro-chopping of capers, pine nuts, greens and meat created a lovely texture that was set off by the shavings of cured egg and slices of onion.The whole sat on a bed of nasturtium puree. I was instructed to mix everything together before sampling.The nasturtium (a favourite ingredient with this kitchen) was subtle enough that it didn’t overpower the delicate taste of the lamb. Mains like the halibut in hot and sour broth ($26) were equally delightful.The soup is so comforting, more sour

than spicy, and balances out the oyster mushroom, chard and Thai basil that sit under the fish. It’s hearty and clean, which describes a lot of the dishes here.There is a purity to the menu, even in richer dishes like the bucatini (a long tubular pasta) with wheybraised pork shoulder ($19), heart-meltingly tender and studded with pecorino and mushrooms. If you want a real deal, get the tasting menu. It’s $65 for eight courses at dinner, and it’s a serious bargain. Pair it with some of the excellent cocktails created by bar manager Wendy McGuinness, one of the city’s undersung talents.The wine list is heavy on by-the-glass options and is well-selected.There’s also a two- and three-course tasting menu at lunch for $25 and $30, respectively, which can be served in an office lunch hour or three, depending on how many cocktails you decide to have. W Listen to Anya Levykh every Monday on CBC Radio One’s On the Coast. Find her onTwitter @foodgirlfriday and Facebook. com/FoodGirlFriday. Food: !!!!! Service: !!!!! Ambiance: !!!!! Value: !!!!! Overall: !!!!!

September 17 - September 23, 2015 W 7




Go to Whistler Village Beer Festival, OK? folks. Dozens of the best craft breweries from across North America huddled together in Whistler Olympic Plaza. Try new beer, indulge in old favourites, and make some new friends – what else is there to do? & ?<DB#4<: * ?B94<:. )%;. 8EC!D=3# /=:;%C7 ,=<'<

Stephen Smysnuik The Growler @StephenSmys

The next month and a half is absolutely bonkers for people whose social lives are propped up by beer events. Last week was Great Canadian Beer Festival in Victoria, and BC Beer Month is coming up in October, with a slew of events capped off with the mega-drunk fest that is the BC Beer Awards. But my personal favourite in all this is happening this weekend: the Whistler Village Beer Festival, running this Thursday through Sunday. It’s still quite small, and because it’s held in Whistler Olympic Plaza – a venue with serious space constraints – there’s an intimacy here that bigger beer festivals have had to sacrifice in order to draw more people. Last year’s festival was some of the most fun I had all year. Architecturally, Whistler Village is made for an event like this, what with the abundance of pub-


The Whistler Village Beer Fest is pretty awesome, and if you don’t believe me, go see it for yourself. Contributed photo lic spaces and such. And because Whistler is a hub for transients, the people here thrive on partying with strangers and making new friends. Same goes for the beer culture in general, so when you fuse the two, you have the makings for a great party. Throw in 65 breweries from across BC and the US, a multitude of booze-y events and you’re in good stead, friend. All this to say, if you’re

not already heading up this weekend, you should. If you do, here’s what you absolutely have to check out:


Five of BC’s best breweries compete in a cask contest. Tickets include five tasting tokens, sampling mug and a ballot for you to vote for the winner. & >EB#!4<:. 1%;.83!DC9 8EC!D=3# A3!6#D


Want to meet the people behind the craft beer industry? Here’s your chance. The casual meet-and-greet includes beer samples and a plate of barbecue. & +#C4<:. (%;. 569"E6#9 ?<=669


An expert panel of BC and American craft brewing superstars, hosted by Joe

Wiebe, author of 0#<$D 233# A3@6=BDC69. Panel includes Sean Hoyne (Hoyne Brewing), Brent Mills (Four Winds Co.), Iain Hill (Strange Fellows Brewing Co.), Jamie Floyd (Ninkasi Brewing), Kim Jordan (New Belgium) and Dick Cantwell (formerly of Elysian Brewing). & +#C4<:. -%;.83!DC98EC!D=3# A3!6#D


This is what it’s all about,

The winner of the Best in Fest awards will be announced. Expect much consumption and merriment, particularly from the winner, who’ll earn a yearlong draught contract throughout Whistler Village. Will Parallel 49 win for the second year in a row? We shall see, folks. We shall see. & ?B94<:. -%;.>E3 569"E6#9 ?<=669 W


All tickets are available at Drop by The Growler tent and say hi. Better yet, buy some merch. Or you can visit our freshly launched online store (The-Growler., and buy merch there. It’s up to you.

presents the 8th Annual

Four Seasons Hotel, 791 West Georgia Street, Vancouver Sunday, October 4th, 2015, 11am-1pm

Poppadom preach! Vote for your favourite Indian food and more in our 2015 Best of the City Dining Awards poll.

Vote in at least 35 categories for your chance to win one of 3 great prizes:

A benefit to support AIDS Vancouver Tickets $88 each, $800 for a table of 10.

GRAND PRIZE: 1 lucky winner will receive $500 in gift certificates to a selection of Vancouver’s best restaurants.

RUNNER-UP PRIZES: 2 winners will receive $250 in gift certificates to a selection of Vancouver’s best restaurants.

Vote online at Voting closes at 9am on Friday, October 2. Prize winners will be chosen randomly from the qualified voters and notified by email. One valid entry per email address.

8 W September 17 - September 23, 2015






Warming wines Michaela Morris By the Bottle @MichaelaWine

Just a reminder that summer isn’t officially over for another few days. I, for one, have been hanging onto every last ray of sunshine by my fingernails. As much as I hate to admit it though, I feel the chill at night and see rain in the forecast. My shift in behaviour clearly indicates that fall is around the corner. I’m hauling out my sweaters and wouldn’t say no to curling up by the fire after sundown. Even my drinking habits have changed. Those chilled reds I’ve been chugging all summer simply aren’t quite as tempting to me now. Instead, I find myself cracking open rich, more robust reds. When you’re in need of comfort as well, you can certainly seek out familiar favourites like Shiraz, Cabernet Sauvignon and Malbec. Like a cozy blanket they’ll fend off the foul weather when it sets in. Otherwise, spice up a nippy Thursday

night by being adventurous. The warmer climes of Southern Italy, Portugal and Greece offer lots of unique gutsy reds that will keep you toasty while stimulating your curiosity. All of the recommended wines are perfectly suited for a barbecue if you are still braving the elements. They’ll be equally comfortable inside beside slowly braised meat. Either way, they are guaranteed to take the edge of any chill and help you transition smoothly into the autumn.

2013 Montes, ‘Classic Series’ $TQ8KN8I (TGE14NMN " $M-<3T4GT 'T--8+F $31-8 " %S9H00F BC Liquor Stores When I am craving a good ol’ Cab Sauv, the Montes always delivers, especially for the price. It’s friendly enough to drink on its own with lush cassis and dark chocolate along with mint and tobacco. A classic with steak. 2010 Pedro Cancela, ‘Seleção :M !N,-M4M " #;M #?$F >MKIG4T- " %S5H00F &$ B1LGMK (IMK8J A trio of exotic sounding


grapes: Touriga Nacional, Alfrocheiro and Tinta Roriz make for a warming and hunger inducing red. Subtly gamey with wild berries, fragrant herb, cinnamon and lots of minerality, it makes my mouth water for duck sausages. PUSS #1 AT/M @MKTNI8F *=TO1I8--M) " &168KNM =MJJM #?$F DIT-+ " %PSH00F &$ B1LGMK Stores The Ramiltello brings together Montepulciano and Aglianico, two of southern Italy’s delicious indigenous varieties. The result is a full-bodied, ripe and savoury red with flavours of black plum and licorice. If you are heroically persisting with the barbecue, more power to you! Try this with grilled lamb chops.

fruit, leather and a hint of autumn leaves. Firm but enticing, it really begs for a meaty, mushroomy stew.

PUU2 &MGITK1F RKTN:8 =8J8KE8 " @TMGJJT >#?F RK88<8 " %PPH00F &$ B1LGMK (IMK8J The Coles notes: Naoussa is the region (in Northern Greece) and Xinomavro is the grape (which some people compare to Italy’s Nebbiolo if that’s of any help). Sweet spice, dried

2013 Le Vieux Pin, *$GEC8 $-TJJ1LG8) (+KT3 " ?.TNT4TN 'T--8+F &$ " %7UF winery direct and private wine stores One of my top BC picks in the recent Judgement of BC tasting, the Cuvée Classique is a fairly dark and brooding style of Syrah. Expect black

pepper, Bing cherry and inviting meaty notes. If you’ve hunted down some game

meat for dinner this would work a treat. Prices exclusive of taxes. W

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September 17 - September 23, 2015 W 9




Bosa Foods comes to the Drive KELSEY KLASSEN @kelseyklassen

Little Italy just got a little bit more Italian with the arrival of Bosa Foods on Commercial Drive. The Italian specialty grocer, a fixture on Victoria Drive for almost 60 years, made the move to Commercial in August. In what might be disappointing news for Drive shoppers, however, the move is only temporary. “We are rebuilding the other store,” confirms Bosa’s business development manager, Chris MacDonald. “Demolition and construction hasn’t started yet at the Victoria Drive location, but it will start soon and that’s going to be an interesting process for us.” The original location – a maze of tight aisles, uneven floors and low ceilings – had its charms, but it couldn’t offer nearly the selection of Bosa’s newer 54,000-sq. ft. flagship location (nicknamed the “Italian Costco”) which opened on Kootenay Street in 2006. Bosa has already jumped at the opportunity to expand its services at the 2,750-sq. ft. Commercial

Staff at the recently opened Bosa Foods location on Commercial show off the new sandwich and coffee bar. Dan Toulgoet photo Drive store, adding in a prepared foods section as well as a coffee bar with the additional space. According to MacDonald,

the rebuild will be a modernization in size and layout, and an upgrade in selection, bringing the legacy Victoria Drive location, which opened

in 1957, more in line with the unrivaled offerings of olive oils, cheeses, meats, breads, and sweets at the main hub. MacDonald says there are

Join us!

also plans to build rental apartments above the new store. But it might be hard to leave the Drive; the night before the store officially opened, shoppers could be seen eagerly peering in the windows, and the reception from the neighbourhood over the past four weeks has been positive. “The vibe has been really great so far,” says MacDonald. “Foot traffic for the Commercial Drive location has been a welcome surprise, and I think it’s only

Anya Levykh Fresh Sheet


Jay Jones, barman extraordinaire, has joined Vij’s Restaurant Group and will be overseeing the beverage programs at all of the restaurants. Get ready for even longer line-ups…

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ChocolaTas owner Wim Tas has been named Top Artisanal Chocolatier and Most Gifted Chocolatier at the recent International Chocolate Salon in San Francisco. ChocolaTas took home over 14 awards, including three golds. Mink Chocolates was another big winner at the same awards in San Francisco, winning 15 medals for its Taj Masala milk chocolate bar and Tell ‘Em Trixie Sent Ya For Toffee with Almonds. SPUD, the popular local delivery service that focuses on

going to get busier.” The Drive has always maintained a European-style shopping experience, with more than 20 small grocers and specialty food stores lining the blocks between Venables and 13th.That, MacDonald says, and the fact that it is only a few blocks away from the original location, is what drew Bosa to the bustling thoroughfare. “We have quite a large clientele that live in the area that walk to the store and frequent the store on an almost daily basis, so we didn’t want to let those customers down,” says MacDonald. “And there is something to be said about the area… People just enjoy coming to the Victoria Drive/ Commercial Drive store because it feels more authentic, it feels more Italian, and we wanted to keep that feel, as well.” While a date for demolition at 562 Victoria Drive has yet to be set, it is a highly anticipated event for the Bosa community. “I know there are going to be a lot of people who want to witness it coming down,” says MacDonald. “It’s going to be the end of an era and the beginning of a new one. “We’re really looking forward to staying in the community,” he continues, “and maintaining our commitment to this area that we’ve been in for so long.Where we started.” W


is temporarily located at 956 Commercial Drive.

local, organic and sustainable products, has opened their first bricks-and-mortar location, Be Fresh Local Market, at 1900West 1st. In addition, the store will offer pedal-powered delivery five days a week. Odd Society Spirits is releasing The Mongrel this fall, an unaged “whiskey” more commonly known as white dog, white lightning, or moonshine.This spirit is straight off the still and unadulterated, meaning it doesn’t have the darker caramel colour of barrel-aged whiskey. Look for it at the distillery and private wine stores, as well as restaurants and bars. Provence Marinaside is celebrating its most popular dishes for the next ten weeks by offering a different main with the clafoutis for dessert and a paired glass of wine for $40. Each week will feature a different main, starting with seared Lois Lake steelhead trout on Sept. 21. Full menu at W




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Busker Alfredo Flores recorded an album in the Vancouver Public Library’s Inspiration Lab. Dan Toulgoet photo

Library’s Inspiration Lab inspires musicians

ROBERT MANGELSDORF @robmangelsdorf

For many budding musicians, renting studio time to record a song or an album is not something that’s financially possible. So Vancouver’s music community understandably breathed a collective sigh of relief this past May when the Vancouver Public Library officially opened its Inspiration Lab at the city’s main branch downtown. The Inspiration Lab features five free-to-use studios in total, the largest of which is the Terry McBride Recording Studio, named after the Nettwerk Records founder. The 175-square-foot room features microphones, an audio mixing board, and a computer equipped with the latest in sound editing software. For busker Alfredo Flores,

the studio has helped him realize the dream of releasing an album. “I don’t have money to pay to record an album,” he says. “But I’ve recorded more than 20 songs already. I made a CD from the library that I’m selling on the streets now.” Flores arrived in Canada nearly 20 years ago from Guatamala and has a TransLink busking permit to play guitar and pan flute at various SkyTrain stations. “It was a big surprise for me when I found out [about the studio],” says Flores. “One of the guys from my country, he told me about it and we went the next day.” Flores says he doesn’t know anything about computers, but with the help of a friend was able to record his songs. While the library doesn’t supply sound engineers, it


La Di Da Di (Warp) After the departure of lead singer Tyondai Braxton following their debut album forced the band to rely on guest singers for 2011’s Gloss Drop, Battles’ third full-length album, La Di Da Di, sees the band, somewhat predictably, go fully instrumental.While the band may have experimented with traditional pop song-structures on Gloss Drop, such familiar forms are rarely seen this time out. On La Di Da Di, Battles’ sound owes as much to keyboardist/guitarist Ian Williams’ former band, Don

Caballero, as it does to postrock innovators like Tortoise and krautrock pioneers Neu and Can. Strong repetitive beats propel the songs forward into jazz-influenced electro spazz-jams.The staccato discordant synth riffs collide with effect-drenched looped guitars creating a kind of 22nd century prog rock for the MDMA generation.

does provide classes to teach people how to use the software themselves. Anne O’Shea,Vancouver Public Library’s manager for programming and learning, says the Inspiration Lab reflects the changing role of libraries in the community. No longer mere book depositories, the modern library is a multi-faceted, shared technological resource, serving a variety of needs. “The decision [to build the Inspiration Lab] came from community consultation,” she says. “People told us that they wanted a space to experiment and learn about digital technology. “It’s a perfect fit.” The Inspiration Lab also includes a hands-on digital media hub with video production and editing, analogto-digital conversion, and self-publishing software. For

bands looking to create a music video, the Inspiration Labs also include a green screen as well as computers equipped with video editing software. O’Shea says the studio has been popular with buskers and young musicians who might not be able to afford time in a big professional recording studio. In addition to recording music, the Inspiration Lab’s smaller studios are designed to record things like podcasts, including the VPL’s own weekly Vancouver Special podcast. Thankfully, the soundproofed rooms have proven to be up to the task. “Noise hasn’t been an issue,” says O’Shea. W


Visit the Vancouver Public Library’s website to book a studio online for free:

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“FF Bada” is the album’s high-water mark; a pulsing, shape-shifting, four-anda-half-minute space-age afro-funk tune that – like so many of Battles’ songs – is held in place by John Stainer’s exceptional drumming. Creepy organ sounds compete with glitched-out synths on “Megatouch”, while album opener “The Yabba” builds from a meditative pace into a propulsive crescendo. Battles chart their own course, creating music that music that sounds like nothing else being made. For that alone they deserve careful consideration. –Robert Mangelsdorf Rating: !!!!!

September 17 - September 23, 2015 W 11





Jim Byrnes Sept. 19









BLONDE REDHEAD New York City indie rock outfit, on tour to support their latest release, Barragan with special guests Day Wave. 8pm at The Imperial. Tickets $20 at Red Cat, Zulu, Highlife and

MODEST MOUSE Isaac Brock and his long-standing indie rock outfit return to town in support of their latest release, Strangers to Ourselves with special guests Good For Grapes. 6pm at Malkin Bowl. Tickets $48 at Red Cat, Zulu and All ages show.

JIM BYRNES A true Canadian blues icon, Byrnes joins forces with gospel trio, The Sojourners and Vancouver singer-songwriter, Colleen Rennison for an evening of song. 7:30pm at Rickshaw Theatre. Tickets $15 at

NEON INDIAN American electronic music project of Alan Palomo, of Denton, Texas, on tour in support of his upcoming release, Vega Intl. Night School. 8pm at The Imperial. Tickets $20 at Red Cat, Zulu and

THE DEARS Orchestral-darkpop-indie band out of Montreal return to town in support of their impending release, Times Infinity Volume One. 8pm at Fox Cabaret. Tickets $20 at Red Cat and

SAY LOU LOU Pop duo of sisters Miranda and Elektra Kilbey play tunes from their debut release, Lucid Dreaming with special guest Phoebe Ryan. 8pm at Media Club (moved from Electric Owl). Tickets $13 at Red Cat, Zulu and

TORO Y MOI American recording artist and producer known to his parents as Chazwick Bradley Bundick, plays tunes from his new album, What For?, with special guests Astronauts, etc. 8pm at Commodore Ballroom. Tickets $27.50 at Red Cat, Zulu and

JOEY CAPE Singer-songwriter and frontman of Lagwagon, from California, on tour in support of third solo effort, Stitch Puppy with special guests Walt Hamburger and KJ Jansen. 8pm at The Cobalt. Tickets $15 at Red Cat, Zulu and BLUE TANGO PROJECT From Buenos Aires, this collaboration between Maria Volonte and California harmonica player Kevin Carrel Footer joins tango and blues in a ground-breaking exploration of the emotional and musical crossroads where the two embrace. 8pm at Orpheum Annex. Tickets $20 at CLOSE TALKER Canadian indie rockers from Saskatoon swing through in support of their second full-length album, Flux. 8pm at Media Club. Tickets $10 at Red Cat and MAN MAN Experimental-pop band from Philly centre their multiinstrumental style on the piano skills of lead singer and lyricist Honus Honus with special guest Shilpa Ray. 9pm at Venue. Tickets $18 at

THEATRE/DANCE HEATSTROKE One stolen wad of cash, two couples vacationing in sunny Spain, and three airline bags mixed up at the airport leave both the police and the thieves vying for the prize in this hilarious heist farce from Eric Chapell. 8pm at Metro Theatre. Tickets at Tickets.MetroTheatre. com. Runs until Oct. 3.

Coeur de Pirate Sept. 18

BEACH SEASON The electronic duo from Calgary (aka Samuel Gram and Simon Blitzer) bring their ambient dreamy beats to the stage with special guests Bed of Stars and Oceanographers. 8pm at Fox Cabaret. Tickets $10 at Red Cat, Zulu and COEUR DE PIRATE Montreal singer-songwriter and pianist Beatrice Martin, on tour to support the release of Roses. 8pm at Commodore Ballroom. Tickets $30 at Red Cat, Zulu and BIG ROAD Local favourites, the five-piece rocking, soulful blues outfit brings their signature sound of slide guitar and threepart harmonies to the stage for an evening of dancing. 8:30pm at Cottage Bistro. Cover is $5. All ages show. TOKYO POLICE CLUB Indie rockers from Toronto return to town with special guest Van Damsel. 8pm at The Imperial. Tickets $27.50 at Red Cat, Ticketmaster. ca and MARIA MULDAUR American folk-blues singer, best known for the 1974 recording, Midnight at the Oasis brings her Bluesiana Band to town, for a retrospective performance 40 years after the launch of her hit. 7:30pm at Media Club. Tickets $32.50 at

COMEDY JEAN PAUL Toronto stand-up comic with television writing credits and appearances on George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight, the CBC special Thick and Thin and on A Russell Peters Christmas Special brings his “savage wit” to the stage with Larke Miller and Jy Harris. 8pm at Yuk Yuk’s. Tickets $20 at

SEBASTIAN MANISCALCO Standup comic from Chicago, and one of four comedians featured in Vince Vaughan’s wildly popular stand-up documentary, brings his Aren’t You Embarrassed? show to town. 6:30pm at Vogue Theatre. Tickets $40 at JOE ROGAN A stand-up comedian with 20 years under his belt, Rogan has been described as “an idealistic hippy stuck inside the body of a testosterone-pumped US marine”. A colourful commentator for UFC, Spike TV, and Fox, he also hosts The Joe Rogan Experience, a popular iTunes podcast. 8pm on Sept. 18 at Orpheum Theatre. Tickets at

THEATRE/DANCE FRINGE FESTIVAL The annual celebration of “theatre for everyone” is back with more than 700 performances by 89 artists over 11 days featuring favourites like James & Jamesy and The Wonderheads, as well as free live music nightly at the Fringe Bar and free stage on Granville Island. Visit for details. Runs until Sept. 20. DISGRACED Conversations around faith and politics lead to startling conclusions that burn with tension and release when a Pakistani-American lawyer and his artist wife, host a dinner for his African-American co-worker and her Jewish art curator husband in the Canadian premiere of this Pulitzer Prize-winning play. 8pm at Stanley Industrial Alliance Stage. Tickets at Runs until Oct. 18.

JOEY BADA$$ American rapper blazes through town on his World Domination Tour in support of his debut release, B4.DA.$$, with special guest Nyck Caution. 8pm at Vogue Theatre. Tickets $32.50 at Red Cat, Zulu, Beatstreet, DIPT and LITTLE HURRICANE Dirty blues rockers from San Diego stop by on tour in support of their latest release, Gold Fever with special guests Emilie & Ogden. 8pm at Media Club. Tickets $12 at TREVOR HALL American singersongwriter tours in support of his latest EP, Unpack Your Memories. 7pm at the Biltmore Cabaret. Tickets $20 at

COMEDY BRIAN SCOLARO American comedian, actor, and voice actor best known for his half hour comedy special and roles on FOX’s Stacked, TBS’s Sullivan & Son and NBC’s Three Sisters imparts some stand-up wisdom with opener Alli Breen. 8pm and 10:30pm at Comedy Mix. Tickets $20 at

THEATRE/DANCE THE BEST LAID PLANS: A MUSICAL Based on Terry Fallis’ awardwinning satirical first novel, the story of the speechwriter for the leader of the Liberal Opposition and his unlikely plan to convince a crusty old Scot to let his name stand in an election he’s supposed to lose is a hilarious depiction of how even the best laid plans can go awry. 8pm at York Theatre. Tickets at Runs until Oct. 3.

COMEDY THE SUNDAY SERVICE A high energy comedic production that carries the audience through a kaleidoscopic trip, this group builds, demolishes and builds again in an absurd patchwork of scenes and stories favouring discovery over structure. 9pm at Fox Cabaret. Tickets $7 at the door.

CHEAP & FUN VANCOUVER TWEED RIDE The third annual ride for cyclists in traditional British cycling attire, with a focus on tweed, returns to weave its way through the centre of town atop bicycles of all sorts. Recreating the spirit of a bygone era, there will be prizes for Best Tweed, Best Bike and Best Team; a fundraiser benefitting Power To Be. 12:30pm at The Vancouver Club. Tickets at FOR THE PLEASURE OF POETRY Come savour an afternoon of some of the best of the English language as a cast of experienced actors read aloud poems as requested (in advance) by those who hold such verses dear. 2pm at Jericho Arts Centre. Admission by donation.

BEN KUNDER Toronto-based singer-songwriter plays an early show, on tour in support of his latest album, Golden. 6:30pm at Railway Club. Tickets $6 at the door only. HUM AND MINERAL Alternative rockers Hum whose popularity gained in the ‘90s with the radio hit, “Stars”, co-headline with the emo-rockers Mineral from Houston, Texas along with special guest Sevenninesandtens. 8pm at Rickshaw Theatre. Tickets $25 at Red Cat, Zulu, Highlife and NATHANIEL KRIKKE Multiinstrumentalist, singer-songwriter brings his brand of old-time country, blues and gospel to the stage with support from M. Lund, Janaya Salmond and Lindsay Kupser. 8:30pm at Cottage Bistro. All ages show.

COMEDY EIGHT AND A HALF INCHES OF COMEDY Every Monday Devin Alexander and Alex Sparling throw a stand-up comedy show to let you in on the best local comedians in Vancouver, and a rotating door of major touring headliners. 9pm at Eight 1/2 Lounge. Cover is $5 QUEER PROV The Bobbers have returned to the Davie Village and are performing hilarious queer improv comedy every week with a whole new format and a new cast. 8pm at 1181.

Neon Indian, Sept. 20


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12 W September 17 - September 23, 2015







GROUNDERS Indie rockers based in Toronto, on tour in support of their debut selftitled LP with special guests Fake Tears, and Soft Serve. 8pm at Media Club. Tickets $12 at

SLIM TWIG Toronto singersongwriter and musician, on tour in support of his latest release Thank You for Stickin’ with Twig. 8pm at Media Club. Tickets $10 at

EPICA & ELUVEITIE Dutch symphonic metal band share the bill with Swiss folk metal rockers with special guests The Agonist. 8pm at Vogue Theatre. Tickets $32 at All ages show. BRANTLEY GILBERT American country rocker from Georgia plays tunes from his latest album, Just As I Am. 8pm at Commodore Ballroom. Tickets $42 at THE ACID British-AmericanAustralian electronica trio of Adam Freeland, Steve Nalepa and RY X with special guest Lusine. 8pm at Fortune Sound Club. Tickets $12 at

COMEDY COMEDY AT THE BILTMORE Dan Quinn hosts this all-pro weekly comedy show featuring a different headliner every week with eight other comics taking the stage to work out all kinds of material. 8pm at Biltmore Cabaret. Tickets $10 at the door.

THEATRE/DANCE THE COMEDY OF ERRORS The hilarious Shakespeare classic that has everyone seeing double is the story of two sets of long-lost twins who meet up unexpectedly, creating hilarious confusion for their friends, loves ones, and even themselves! 1pm at Vanier Park. Tickets at Runs until Sept. 26.

Ron Sexsmith, Sept. 23

MUSIC BOLLYWOOD MASALA ORCHESTRA The BMO, along with Dancers of India, and Rahis Bharti, one of India’s greatest musical figures, invite you on a lively musical journey from Rajasthan to Mumbai in The Spirit of India, featuring a mix of Indian and Western instruments for a rich and authentic feast of Indian sounds 7:30pm at Orpheum Theatre on Sept. 23. Tickets at COLIN STETSON & SARAH NEUFELD Acclaimed instrumental duo, (and members of Arcade Fire) on tour to support their latest, Never Were the Way She Was, an album of original compositions for horn and violin with special guest Ryan ‘LoneWolf’ Sawyer. 8pm at Biltmore Cabaret. Tickets $18 at Red Cat, Zulu, Highlife and RON SEXSMITH Canadian singersongwriter from St. Catharines, Ontario, on tour in support of his 14th studio album, Carousel One, with special guest Kevin Hearn. 8pm at Rio Theatre. Tickets $32.50 at Red Cat and FRONT LINE ASSEMBLY Vancouver electro-industrial band performs a hometown show with special guests Weird Candle and Comaduster. 8pm at Venue. Tickets $18 at Red Cat, Zulu and

THEATRE/DANCE ABATTOIR MORNING Two women struggling to pay the rent in the basement of a slaughterhouse must fight for what they can still hold in their hands, surrender to their straining love or succumb to the unblinking eye. 8pm at Havana Theatre. Tickets at Runs until Sept. 26.

BETH HART LA singer-songwriter, on tour in support of her latest offering, Better Than Home 8pm at Vogue Theatre. Tickets $35+ at TENDENCIES Edmonton electronic-dance-disco band take the stage with visuals by Chesto and opening act James Deen. 10:30pm at Studio Records. Tickets $10 at CONCEALER AND RAE SPOON Edmonton electronic-roots duo, play the first of two shows, on tour in support of their debut album, Feted: Fetid with label mate, post-folk singer-songwriter Rae Spoon. 8pm at LanaLou’s. Tickets $15 at ALICIA HANSEN AND BEN BROWN The one-time vocalist with the Vancouver Chamber Choir brings her brand of experimental piano pop with the Juno Award-winning drummer, in support of their collaboration, Companion. 8pm at Pyatt Hall. Tickets $10 at





ASIAN POP CONCERT Doors Open 7:30pm, Show Starts 8:00pm Tickets $5, plus get a $5 Food Voucher at the show.


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Doors Open 7:30pm, Show Starts 8:00pm Tickets $10, plus get a $10 Food Voucher at the show. Available at



Doors Open 7:30pm, Show Starts 8:00pm Tickets $10, plus get a $10 Food Voucher at the show. Available at





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A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS Based on the infamous work of Robert Bolt, director William B. Davis’ production focuses on the battle of principles between Sir Thomas More, Lord Chancellor of England and Henry VIII, who wishes to divorce his wife in the climate of the sixteenth century Catholic Church. 8pm at Jericho Arts Centre. Tickets at Runs until Sept. 27.

ART CRYPTIC EXPLORATIONS A collection of hard edge abstract paintings from Enda Bardell, the Canadian multi-disciplinary artist, originally from Estonia. Opening reception at 6pm at Espana Gallery (689 Abbott). Runs until Nov. 30.

Seniors’ lifestyle talks + tables WED., OCT. 7, 2015 • 11AM-4PM VANDUSEN BOTANICAL GARDEN • VISITOR CENTRE

Lifetime is a free event that celebrates and educates the 55+ market. Join us for an amazing speaker line up moderated by Dr. Art Hister, and tables hosted by local businesses. 12PM Food – What’s New and Best for You, by Liz da Silva 1:30PM Building Strength to Prevent Falls, by Yee Tse 3PM Aging 2.0 – Linking to Reputable Brain Info, by Dr. Julie Robillard Lifetime is a first come first served event, with limited seating. We ask that you please arrange your day around one speaker to allow room for others. Attendee registration not required. BROUGHT TO YOU BY PROUDLY SPONSORED BY

September 17 - September 23, 2015 W 13



VIFF FEATURE FILMS WITH BC ROOTS There’s a reason that VIFF’s BC Spotlight series breaks box office records every year: homegrown cinema reflects the hometown crowd, and we like to see our own stories unfold on the big screen. Dynamic and daring, the 11 BC-made documentaries and narrative films in this year’s fest easily stand with the best of the rest: CHARLOTTE’S SONG Think Pan’s Labyrinth meets Carnivale, and you’ll still be unprepared for this Dust Bowlera reimagining of The Little Mermaid. THE DEVOUT After his terminally ill daughter claims to have had a past life as an astronaut, a Christian teacher experiences a profound crisis of faith.

This is your VIFF

EADWEARD Michael Eklund stars as photographer Eadweard Muybridge, the godfather of cinema and the last American to receive a justifiable homicide verdict. FRACTURED LAND Caleb Behn – a Dene lawyer locked in a battle with industry – may become one of this generation’s great leaders, if he can reconcile the fractures within himself and the world around him. HADWIN’S JUDGEMENT A docudrama about Grant Hadwin, the logging engineer who cut down a sacred tree to protest rampant logging. HAIDA GWAII: ON THE EDGE OF THE WORLD This visually stunning paean to Haida Gwaii and the spirited people who populate it won Best Canadian Feature Documentary at Hot Docs 15. MY GOOD MAN’S GONE A brother and sister from the big city arrive in Story, Arkansas (pop. 89) to settle their father’s estate in this dramedy from the screenwriter of That Burning Feeling. NINTH FLOOR Debut documentary from award-winning filmmaker Mina Shum explores the Sir George Williams Affair, which was sparked by allegations of faculty discrimination against black students. NO MEN BEYOND THIS POINT In a world where women procreate asexually, male babies have become passé, and an entire gender faces extinction, what’s a guy to do? THE SANDWICH NAZI Lewis Bennett’s documentary about the Lebanese male escort who ended up serving gigantic sandwiches in Surrey. TRICKS ON THE DEAD: THE STORY OF THE CHINESE LABOUR CORPS IN WWI Docudrama about the 140,000 Chinese labourers who, during WWI, were secretly shipped to the Western Front to clear the dead. Vote for your favourite BC Spotlight films at MustSeeBC.VIFF. org; the winning film receives an award and a special red carpet screening.

Vancouver International Film Festival executive director Jacqueline Dupuis. Dan Toulgoet photo

Festival head honcho Jacqueline Dupuis dishes on VIFF’s jam-packed program Sabrina Furminger Reel People


Unlike that other juggernaut film fest currently drawing A-listers to the Centre of the Universe like welldressed moths to a flame, the Vancouver International Film Festival isn’t consumed with glitz, red carpets, and paparazzi shots. Removed from the flashbulbs and distractions of celebrity culture, VIFF is – unabashedly and unapologetically – all about the films: comedies and thrillers,

VIFF HONOURS FRANK GIUSTRA The financier behind powerhouse film brand Lionsgate Entertainment is the first recipient of the Vancouver International Film Festival’s Screen Industry Builder Award. Frank Giustra – CEO of Fiore Group and board member of North Vancouver’s Lionsgate Entertainment – will receive VIFF’s inaugural Screen Industry Builder Award at a ceremony on Oct. 1.

14 W September 17 - September 23, 2015

dramas and documentaries, shorts and the not so short, studio-supported and fiercely independent. And there’s plenty to choose from – 355 films from 70 countries – and a lot of firsts: 32 world premieres, 33 North American premieres, and a whopping 53 Canadian premieres. Many of these films have already collected accolades and awards at venerable fests around the globe, like Dheepan, which took the Palme d’Or at the Cannes Film Festival, and The Assassin, which won Taiwanese auteur Hou Hsiao-Hsien the Cannes Best Director prize. In less than six months, some of these films will probably find themselves among the nominees for the 88th Academy Awards – and perhaps, like the film that closed last year’s VIFF (the percussive American drama Whiplash), among the winners.

With so much to choose from, even the most learned local cinephile has got to wonder: where to begin? According to Jacqueline Dupuis, VIFF’s executive director, the festival prides itself on its bounty of entry points, including its glossy guide, official app (which promises to put “the entire VIFF lineup at your fingertips”), web site, and good, old-fashioned buzz. “It’s just about keeping your ear to the ground and seeing what people are talking about, but also looking at what you’re interested in and using our tools to find things that will rock your world,” says Dupuis in a phone interview on the eve of VIFF’s media launch. There is no single thread running through all 355 films, says Dupuis, but they are each somehow representative of VIFF’s commitment to excellence. “I feel very confident in

The award is the brainchild of VIFF and BC Creates, and aims to (according to the press release) “recognize individuals who have greatly contributed to the success of British Columbia’s creative industries; have elevated the international profile of British Columbia as a destination for excellence; and support the development and advancement of the local economy.” Giustra’s impact on the local economy is far-reaching: He invested heavily in Lionsgate Entertainment

(now one of the world’s largest independent film companies), Thunderbird Films (a company focused on content and distribution in the television and film sector; Thunderbird’s locally shot productions include Some Assembly Required and Olympus), and Sea To Sky Entertainment. “As a creator, visionary and savvy businessman with interests in film, philanthropy and British Columbia as a destination for innovation, Frank Giustra is the ideal

saying that our programming team and our reputation precedes us in terms of presenting a festival full of the most excellent films from around the world,” Dupuis says firmly. “And while I know that sometimes you’ll come out from a film having had a challenging experience, I think, for the very most part, you’ll know that you experienced something excellent, and I think that that’s really important.” If the schedule is any indication, VIFF thinks that Canadian film is particularly excellent. With its Canadian Images series, VIFF serves up the largest showcase of Canadian cinema on the planet. Made in Canada highlights include: the ridiculously timely political satire My Internship in Canada from Oscar-nominated director Philippe Falardeau; Paul Gross’ Hyena Road, set in

Frank Guistra inaugural honouree for VIFF’s Screen Industry Builder Award,” says Jacqueline

the waning days of Canada’s combat mission in Afghanistan; Beeba Boys, an intense drama about Indo-Canadian mobsters from Water director Deepa Mehta (“It’s an important film for Vancouverites to see, because it speaks to some of the challenges in our community, and specifically with respect to the South Asian community,” says Dupuis); Alan Zweig’s Hurt, a profile of fallen Canadian icon Steve Fonyo; and the 11 feature-length films that populate the BC Spotlight series (see sidebar). That last series – which launched in 2013 and shines the proverbial spotlight on films born and bred in BC – has broken attendance records for VIFF; previous to that, the most well attended program for many years was the Canadian Images series.

Continued on page 21 Dupuis, executive director of VIFF. Giustra’s interests extend to food, music, lifestyle, and philanthropy. In 2007, Giustra and former President Bill Clinton launched the Clinton Giustra Enterprise Partnership, with the focus of creating social and economic development programs through impact investing in parts of the world where poverty is widespread. For tickets to the awards ceremony, visit W –Sabrina Furminger




VIFF alumni share top picks for 2015 favourite short film years back called Shoes Off, and I do enjoy a good mockumentary. And Patrick Gilmore as the youngest man on earth is icing on the cake. Count me in.

Julia Kwan

f o g ur bo er ch

r fo


d o o m ve lo FE LI TH EA D





Director, Lawrence & Holloman (VIFF 2013) At the top of my list is Kyle Rideout’s Eadweard. I love the challenges that these guys set


Co-director, Three Days in Havana (VIFF 2013) I’m a sucker for Asian crime films, conceptual dreamscapes, stylized features, the occasional doc, and any maverick filmmaker worth their salt. Picks for this year include The Assassin, The Forbidden Room, Haida Gwaii: On the Edge of the World, and Eadweard (both my boys Michael Eklund and Christopher Heyerdahl in the same film? Brilliant!). W


Director, Everything Will Be (VIFF 2014) I’ve been a longtime fan of Hirokazu Koreeda’s, ever since Mabarosi and the bril-


Tony Pantages



Matthew Kowalchuk

e th


Director, Leap 4 Your Life (VIFF 2013) I love VIFF’S BC Spotlight program. I think we have some great talent in this province, and it’s important we showcase their work. I’m looking forward to seeing Mark Sawers’ No Men Beyond This Point. He directed my


Director, Black Fly (VIFF 2014) First is The Lobster: I really enjoyed Dog Tooth by the same director. Add in a dystopian near future, deadpan humor, scathing satire on relationships, and people who turn into animals, and I’m sold. Second is Crumbs, an Ethiopian science fiction fairytale. It looks like an insanely unique cinematic experience… [the] type of world cinema I would only get the chance to see at VIFF.


Gary Hawes

Jason Bourque

liant Afterlife. His latest film Our Little Sister is about three sisters who take in a newly discovered half sister, and it looks like classic Koreeda material: a beautiful, gentle, and understated story about family. I’m also excited to check out Mina Shum’s provocative new NFB documentary, Ninth Floor, about the Sir George Williams University riot in Montreal. A timely documentary about Canadian race relations and police violence.

s la el br um


Director, Down River (VIFF 2013) There’s a documentary called Peggy Guggenheim: Art Addict that I’ve got my eye on. A film about the love of visual art should be seen on the big screen, not an iPad.

for themselves. He and cowriter/producer Josh Epstein first adapted the story from a play (which I know from personal experience is no small task) and on a shoestring budget made a period piece with an epic scope, crafting what looks to be a stunningly beautiful film. Also: I have to see Sebastian Schipper’s Victoria, a German action-thriller shot in one continuous take that sounds simply incredible.

e th

Ben Ratner

There is more online

FIVE FOR FILM LOVERS September 17-21

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G R OW I N G WO M E N ’ S H E a lt H


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David Wilson, Another Song, 24 x 48 inches, acrylic on canvas, 2015. Contributed photo

Light shines through with David Wilson’s latest exhibition KELSEY KLASSEN @kelseyklassen

Whether it’s electric midnight streetscapes or the statuesque serenity of the Burrard Bridge at dawn, DavidWilson’s paintings revealVancouver. Observing from local street

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corners for more than 15 years, Wilson sees intimacy where others see infrastructure. Recently, however, his trademark use of vibrant colours and bold brush strokes have come to symbolize personal turmoil, as he and members of his family have struggled with illness.

His upcoming show at Kimoto Gallery, then, marks a turning point whereWilson says he is feeling healthier and more positive, and has finally been able to include processes that he has been developing for the past few years.

Continued on page 20





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September 17 - September 23, 2015 W 19




Eat your way to healthy skin Patty Javier Gomez Whole Nourishment

@WholeNourishBC Your skin is the biggest organ in the body. Made up of nerves and complex cell systems, it is the body’s protective cover.Your skin is a powerful indicator of health, as you can tell a great deal of what’s happening inside the body by taking a look at the outside. It has many jobs, making it a proficient multitasker, including manufacturing vitamin D for converting calcium into healthy bones, providing a waterproof barrier, regulating body temperature and protecting you from microbes and the elements. Skin problems can be a manifestation of your internal needs, so watching what you are putting in your body is not only important for your internal health, but also for happy, healthy glowing skin. And let’s be honest, if we talk in terms of vanity, your skin in the first thing that people look at and notice about you.There are several nutrients that are known to play a role in the proper growth and health of the skin, and making sure that you have an adequate amount in your diet can help clear up many skin issues.


Promotes cell turnover in the skin. Helps get rid of acne by preventing the formation of comedones which cause most forms of acne. Sources

A close-up from The Words Between Us, by David Wilson. Contributed photo

Continued from page 16

A smoothie loaded with Omega 3s and vitamins is great for your skin. Thinkstock photo include liver, cod liver oil, egg yolks from pastured chickens, butter from pastured cows.


Acne is often a product of zinc deficiency because zinc controls the production of healthy skin and is required for proper function of the immune system. Sources include pumpkin seeds, ginger, pecans, oysters, oats, and eggs.


Responsible for skin repair, moisture content, and overall flexibility, Omega 3s are especially great for the skin. “Essential” means that the body does not produce it therefore it is important that we get these through our diet. EFAs help with whiteheads, blackheads and dry, inflamed skin. Sources of Omega 3s include flaxseed,

Rolfing is Manual Therapy which strengthens the body’s structural integrity and functional resources. Rolfing can help you move again.

sardines, salmon, and walnuts.


Reduces free radical damage to your skin, in particular, the damage caused by overexposure to the sun or pollution. Sources include broccoli, citrus fruits, peppers, leafy greens and strawberries.


Chocolate Good news ladies, chocolate is good for your skin! Cocoa hydrates your skin making it more firm. Eat dark chocolate that is at least 70 per cent cocoa for more luminous skin. Pomegranate Regulates the skin’s blood flow. Water Skin needs to be hydrated to stay flexible, making you have fewer wrinkles. Rosemary Packed with antioxidants making it a tiny skin-protecting package.

Olive oil Higher consumption of olive oil (two teaspoons a day) is associated with fewer signs of aging. Now don’t expect skin miracles to happen over night. It takes time, sometimes up to six weeks to see any results, but a healthy balanced diet packed with skin-loving nutrients will put you on the right track. W

RECIPE // SKIN LOVING SMOOTHIE Ingredients 0 : +$73/(%, /.1,+ &$%1 0 ; $22%1" 5+42213 0 ; 5(2 .$,2#1..)1, 0 ; 5(2 +192 9)%& 0 ; /.4617 #$7$7$ Directions !%173 (7*)% ,944*+" $73 17'48-

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“Exhibitions are opportunities to introduce something new, “ says Wilson. “So I’ve included much more process into this exhibition than I typically do, perhaps because I now have the energy to do so once again.” Wilson suffers from a condition called diverticulitis, a dangerous inflammation of the bowels that can only be cured with surgery. Prior to that, his wife, arts publicist Marnie Wilson, was diagnosed with Addison’s disease, a rare condition that causes anemia and low blood pressure and can be fatal. And around that time, his daughter was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. “It’s been kind of a crazy five or six years for us,” saysWilson with a gruff laugh. Between his hospitalizations and antibiotics and helping his family get their health back on track, he says it was difficult to find time and energy to paint. But his surgery in April was life changing. “I feel so much better now,” says the 51-year-old. “It really impacted my ability to be productive … but through the whole time, still, I try to look at it through a different lens. You look at these poor souls that are walking from Syria to Germany, and we live in a place where there is so much more opportunity. In certain countries, my whole family would be dead because there is no treatment for this,” he continues. “So it was hard, but we’re very fortunate.We’re very blessed to live here.” Because of the time lost to

surgery,Wilson is just putting the finishing touches on Light and Colour, a light-infused study of the starkness of city life, as seen from the street, sea and sky. In it,Wilson has expanded his work on found materials – particularly cardboard – which he started experimenting with about six years ago, exposing layers of tape, rips and tears, and text under his acrylics. It’s a way, he says, to reveal parts of himself through painting. “As a person, I’m aware of my flaws,” he says with a smile, “and I think that we try to hide our imperfections and our flaws. I’m reluctant to talk about the things that I’ve gone through,” he continues, “but I think in these paintings I’m able to reveal some level of myself personally.” For fans of his vibrant brand of urban impressionism, the iconic images of strangers huddled on street corners, parked cars, and receding view corridors remain, butWilson says he has also worked to silence the more literal nature of his work and make the landscapes more anonymous. “I’ve painted images of Vancouver for a really long time – certain motifs develop and I really like exploring them,” says Wilson, “but at the same time I think I’m looking more closely at the ephemeral nature of this city. Not necessarily Granville Street or Burrard Bridge, but more about who we are and where we live and how we interact with each other.” W

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Free Will Astrology Q&A: Porn comparisons By Rob Brezsny I won’t go so far as to say that you are surrounded by unhinged maniacs whose incoherence is matched only by their self-delusion. That would probably be too extreme. But I do suspect that at least some of the characters in the game you’re playing are not operating at their full potential. For now, it’s best not to confront them and demand that they act with more grace. The wiser strategy might be to avoid being swept up in their agitation as you take good care of yourself. If you are patient and stay centered, I bet you will eventually get a chance to work your magic.

Many of the heroes in fairy tales survive and thrive because of the magical gifts they are given. Benefactors show up, often unexpectedly, to provide them with marvels – a spinning wheel that can weave a cloak of invisibility, perhaps, or winged shoes that give them the power of flight, or a charmed cauldron that brews a healing potion. But there is an important caveat. The heroes rarely receive their boons out of sheer luck. They have previously performed kind deeds or unselfish acts in order to earn the right to be blessed. According to my analysis, Taurus, the coming weeks will be prime time for you to make yourself worthy of gifts you will need later on.

We humans need nourishing stories almost as much as we require healthy food, clean air, pure water, and authentic love. And yet many of us get far less than our minimum daily requirement of nourishing stories. Instead, we are barraged with nihilistic narratives that wallow in misery and woe. If we want a break from that onslaught, our main other choices are sentimental fantasies and empty-hearted trivia. That’s the bad news. But here’s the good news: Now is a favorable time for you to seek remedies for this problem. That’s why I’m urging you to hunt down redemptive chronicles that furnish your soul with gritty delight. Find parables and sagas and tales that fire up your creative imagination and embolden your lust for life.

Now is an excellent time to close the gap between the Real You and the image of yourself that you display to the world. I know of two ways to accomplish this. You can tinker with the Real You so that it’s more like the image you display. Or else you can change the image you display so that it is a more accurate rendition of the Real You. Both strategies may be effective. However you go about it, Cancerian, I suggest you make it your goal to shrink the amount of pretending you do.

The rooster is your power animal. Be like him. Scrutinize the horizon for the metaphorical dawn that is coming, and be ready to herald its appearance with a triumphant wake-up call. On the other hand, the rooster is also your affliction animal. Don’t be like him. I would hate for you to imitate the way he handles himself in a fight, which is to keep fussing and squabbling far beyond the point when he should let it all go. In conclusion, Libra, act like a rooster but also don’t act like a rooster. Give up the protracted struggle so you can devote yourself to the more pertinent task, which is to celebrate the return of the primal heat and light.

Since you seem to enjoy making life so complicated and intense for yourself, you may be glad to learn that the current astrological omens favor that development. My reading of the astrological omens suggests that you’re about to dive deep into rich mysteries that could drive you half-crazy. I suspect that you will be agitated and animated by your encounters with ecstatic torment and difficult bliss. Bon voyage! Have fun! Soon I expect to see miniature violet bonfires gleaming in your bedroom eyes, and unnamable emotions rippling through your unfathomable face, and unprecedented words of wild wisdom spilling from your smart mouth.

The Adamites were devotees of an ancient Christian sect that practiced sacred nudism. One of their central premises: How could anyone possibly know God while wearing clothes? I am not necessarily recommending that you make their practice a permanent part of your spiritual repertoire, but I think you might find value in it during the coming weeks. Your erotic and transcendent yearnings will be rising to a crescendo at the same time. You will have the chance to explore states where horniness and holiness overlap. Lusty prayers? Reverent sex? Ecstatic illumination?

One of your key themes in the coming weeks is “grace.” I suggest that you cultivate it, seek it out, expect it, and treasure it. To prepare for this fun work, study all of the meanings of “grace” below. At least two of them, and possibly all, should and can be an active part of your life. 1. Elegance or beauty of form, movement, or proportion; seemingly effortless charm or fluidity. 2. Favor or goodwill; a disposition to be generous or helpful. 3. Mercy, forgiveness, charity. 4. A temporary exemption or immunity; a reprieve. 5. A sense of fitness or propriety. 6. A prayer of blessing or thanks said before a meal. 7. An unmerited divine gift offered out of love.

Sex with Mish Way

@MyszkaWay I’m an 18-year-old boy. My penis is about 6 inches and that is killing me. I watch porn and confront those massive penises and I’m like, “Is this a dick I have or a popsicle!!?”. To make it even worse, my penis has an eggplant black color, which is not very tempting. I always worry if my monster is going to satisfy my partner in the future. Please don’t say that my penis is of average size and that is OK because with all the porn videos around, I think girls expect more of a man’s penis. –Help! Last year, Blake Buttler wrote this hilarious article for VICE, “Owning Porn Used To Mean Something, Dammit”. He laments about the days of pornographic magazines and having to use your mind to masturbate, not your iPhone. Finding a Hustler crumbled in the bushes on the way home from school was like finding buried treasure, and you carefully shared it with all your friends. Buttler remembers masturbating to the same magazine with a Jenny McCarthy spread in it about 50 times. “Each time was different,” he wrote. Today, porn is like water. (In fact, here in Los Angeles, there’s probably more porn being produced than there is available clean water.) Porn is a lucrative yet contentious industry that I have attempted to “get to the bottom of”

Continued from page 15

Born under the sign of Leo, Marcel Duchamp was an influential artist whose early work prefigured surrealism. In 1917, he submitted an unusual piece to a group exhibition in New York. It was a plain old porcelain urinal, but he titled it Fountain, and insisted it was a genuine work of art. In that spirit, I am putting my seal of approval on the messy melodrama you are in the process of managing. Henceforth, this melodrama shall also be known as a work of art, and its title will be “Purification.” (Or would you prefer “Expurgation” or “Redemption”?) If you finish the job with the panache you have at your disposal, it will forevermore qualify as a soul-jiggling masterpiece.

Be good, but not necessarily well-behaved. Be extra exuberant and free, but not irresponsible. Be lavish and ardent and even rowdy, but not decadent. Why? What’s the occasion? Well, you have more-or-less finished paying off one of your karmic debts. You have conquered or at least outwitted a twist from your past that had been sapping your mojo. As a reward for doing your duty with such diligence, you have earned a respite from some of the more boring aspects of reality. And so now you have a mandate to gather up the intelligent pleasure you missed when you were acting like a beast of burden.

Some people express pride in gross ways. When you hear their overbearing brags, you know it’s a sign that they are not really confident in themselves. They overdo the vanity because they’re trying to compensate for their feelings of inadequacy. In the coming weeks, I expect you to express a more lovable kind of self-glorification. It won’t be inflated or arrogant, but will instead be measured and reasonable. If you swagger a bit, you will do it with humor and style, not narcissism and superiority. Thank you in advance for your service to humanity. The world needs more of this benign kind of egotism.

“I am the least difficult of men. All I want is boundless love.” That’s the mantra that Frank O’Hara intoned in his poem “Meditations in an Emergency,” and now I’m inviting you to adopt a modified version of it. Here’s how I would change it for your use in the coming months: “I am the least difficult of passion artists. All I want is to give and receive boundless, healthy, interesting love.” To be frank, I don’t think O’Hara’s simple and innocent declaration will work for you. You really do need to add my recommended nuances in order to ripen your soul’s code and be aligned with cosmic rhythms.

Sept. 17: Hank Williams Sr. (92) Sept. 18: James Marsden (42) Sept. 19: Jimmy Fallon (41) Sept. 20: Sophia Loren (81) Sept. 21: Nicole Richie (34) Sept. 22: Joan Jett (57) Sept. 23 Ani DiFranco (45)

and the reality of dicks

These kinds of numbers, Dupuis says, speak volumes about VIFF’s place in the local and national biz. “We’ve showcased, since [Canadian Images’] inception, over 2,500 Canadian films to audiences upwards of one million,” says Dupuis. “I think it really shows that, as we showcase these Canadian films, we have a really important role in the Canadian film industry in that we build audiences and awareness for these Canadian films. VIFF isn’t only about screening excellent films for appreciative houses. VIFF Industry (a screen-based media conference that will explore topics like discoverability, virtual reality, and indie filmmaking) and VIFF Industry Exchange (billed as Canada’s only marketplace devoted to digital online content) draw screen media insiders to Vancouver for workshops,

many times, in depth, without an answer. It’s perpetually surrounded with controversy and opposing opinions, as is any debate involving sexuality. However, the way young people consume porn now is like this endless buffet of pussy, tits and bleached, smiling assholes. Millennials are gluttonous.You are all obese from porn. (Too much of anything becomes unhealthy. Some men are going #NoWanks.This is basically a porn diet to prove a point.) Porn videos mean you watch the act of fucking, where as a photo means you jerk off to a model in a still.There’s so much more imagination when jerking off to a photograph.You have to create the situation with your brain and not just press play. Plus, men rely on dick identity when watching pornography, which is why so many of them can’t get off on lesbian scenes.They require the dick in the clip to share the same skin color as their own. (Why are you watching white guys fuck? Oh right, I forgot…“porn is racist”.) So, when you go onto RedTube and watch whatever is the closest click away, the chances of you identifying with that dick are minimal. Plus, your mind is lazy now. Pornography is supposed to be adult entertainment, not educational material for 18-year-old men who still willingly and subconsciously refer to themselves as “boys”. Remember when teenagers learned about sex from actually fooling around? Of course you don’t. Look, comparing pornography to the sex you are go-

ing to eventually have is like comparing a one of Thomas Moran’s oil paintings to the forest behind your high school. The painting is impossibly beautiful and looks so real, yet when you run into the actual woods you may fall over a log or get shit on by a bird, but at least you know you are there living it and it feels really good. Girls don’t expect as much as you think. In fact, it’s probably less.The thing is that sex is supposed to be awkward and trying and fun and fucked up, but if you spend too much time starring at the hired actors in pornography and comparing your dick to theirs, you are going to go insane. I have many male friends who are porn actors and you know why they do porn? Because they have dicks that are above average in size. It’s pretty much the only requirement, everything else can be learned. Mainstream porn is about big, bouncing tits, monster cocks and tanned, hairless skin. That’s not what life looks like: it’s simply a depiction of fantasy. No girl you are going to fuck will take one look at your penis and say, “Um, this does not look like James Dean’s dick. I’m out of here.” Learn how to eat pussy, be nice outside of the sheets and intense between them and you will be fine. Love, Mish W

talks, and intensive meetand-greets for several days during the fest. These two initiatives are part and parcel of VIFF’s commitment to being more than just a presenter of films, says Dupuis. VIFF wants to spark creation, too. “The local industry is vast. It’s huge. It’s the third largest film and television production centre in North America, and it’s the third largest digital media production centre in the world, and the local filmmaking community has a unique opportunity to hone their skill sets by working on some major productions, and then having the opportunity to work on their own work,” says Dupuis. “I really feel that VIFF is a catalyst in the middle of this ecosystem. We support the industry through various initiatives, specifically VIFF Industry which helps emerging to senior level content

creators sharpen their skills and build their contact bases, and that’s a really important part of helping to sustain and grow the local industry.” The 2015 Vancouver International Film Festival kicks off on Sept. 24 with a gala screening of Brooklyn, Nick Hornby’s adaptation of Colm Tóibín epic novel about an Irish immigrant (portrayed by Saoirse Ronan) searching for independence, love, and the American dream in 1950s-era NYC. VIFF closes on Oct. 9 with two screenings of I Saw the Light, in which Tom Hiddleston sings and struts as ill-fated country music legend Hank Williams (Loki is already getting serious Oscar buzz for his performance). For tickets and full screening info (including venues and film descriptions), and a rundown of the VIFF Industry and VIFF Industry Exchange conferences, visit W

EMAIL MISH Send Mish your own sex questions and queries to

September 17 - September 23, 2015 W 21


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Westender – September 17, 2015  
Westender – September 17, 2015