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TABLE OF CONTENTS !

From The Editor

5

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Wellness Woman Poem

69

Self-Love, Self-Care !

Loving Yourself Through Adversity

9

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Learning To Love Yourself

13

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The Day I Accepted Myself Worth

17

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Loving Me Through Loss

19

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Being Present And Loving It

22

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Love The Journey You're On

24

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Loving The Skin Your In

32

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Ultimate Self-Love - Putting YOUR Health & Wellness First

34

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A Revelation of Love Along The Journey

36

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Creating A Home Where Self-Love Abounds

43

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What Aging Gracefully Can Mean To You

55

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A Vision of Love

57

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Loving Yourself to Health

60

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A Father’s Love For “Daddy’s Girl”

65

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Color Therapy: Creative Solutions to Alopecia and Chemo Hair Loss

67

Wellness Woman 40 Columns !

Ask Rebecca Anything - With Rebecca Norrington

14

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Dream Queen - With Kathleen O'Keefe-Kanavos

27

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Rediscovering Life After 40 - Build Your Professional Brand After 40 -

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Fit & Fabulous 40 & Beyond - With Erin Schroeder

With Dr. Lisa Matthews

39 48

Featured Wellness Women – Our Stories

Sue Ingebretson - Orange County, California

7

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DrBev - Tampa, Florida

30

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Simran Singh - Charleston, South Carolina

51

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Mary Ellen Ciganovich - Chattanooga, Tennessee

63

Recipes

Gluten-Free Butternut Squash Turkey Chili

41

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Red Lentil Soup

42

Did You Know? Lynnis of PraiseWorks is proud to be a Wego Health Activist FINALIST for 2013. For more info visit: http://awards.wegohealth.com/nominees/lynnis-of-praiseworks-1117 ii


CREDITS Publisher PraiseWorks Health & Wellness

Founder & Editor-In-Chief Lynnis Woods-Mullins, CHHC, CLC, CPI

Contributing Writers Ellen Dolgen Diana Lynn Kohn Pastor Chyrell English Mary Ellen Ciganovich

Editorial Staff Victoria E. Moore, LLP

Publicity Gina Smith (SPMG Media)

Layout & Graphic Design Paul Jones (www.WebPlexx.com )

Business Operations & Advertising Manager Victoria E. Moore, LLP

Business Consultant Tyler Hutchinson (www.fullcirclebusinessconsulting.com)

Susan Tolles Rebecca Norrington Kathleen O'Keefe-Kanavos Julie Williamson Sue Ingebreston, CHC Karen Wells, M.Div Alx Utterman Nakeesha Harris, M.S., C.N.C.,C.M.C. Dr. Kat Smith Jennifer Fugo, CHC Michelle Howe Shawngela Pierce Sherry Burton-Ways, IIDA,CFYH Erin Schroeder

Advisory Board Krista Dunk Mary Ellen Ciganovich Bess Blanco Kathleen O'Keefe-Kanavos Carmela Ramaglia Susan Tolles Martina Desgouttes Carol Dunlop Suzanne Strisower

Layout & Design by www.WebPlexx.com

Dr. Laurie Andreoni Dr. Lisa Matthews

www.PraiseWorks.biz (916) 706 - 7565

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From The Editor When I  first  thought  about  this  third  issue  of   Wellness  Woman  40  and  Beyond  I  thought  that  since   the  issue  comes  out  the  weekend  of  Valen=nes  Day   it  should  be  about  love.    Not  love  necessarily  in  the   roman=c  sense,  but  love  in  the  sense  of  how  we  feel   about  ourselves,  our  lives…  our  essence.   I  feel  this  topic  is    important  to  write  about  because   so  many  women  struggle  with  the  concept  of  loving   themselves.  Simply  put,  we  as  women  give  so  much   of  ourselves  to  others,  play  so  many  roles  (daughter,   sister,  wife,  mother,  best  friend,  aunt,  grandmother,   nurturer...etc)  that  we  don't  have  anything  leI  for   us.  We  are  depleted.  We  need  to  remember  or  in   some  cases  learn  how  to  put  what  we  give  out  back   into  ourselves.  A  simple  concept  but  some=mes  diffi-­‐ cult  for  us  because  we  start  to  feel  guilty  about  put-­‐ =ng  ourselves  first.  But  the  true  reality  is  puMng  our-­‐ selves  first  is  not  selfish,  it  is  a  must!!   We  can’t  con=nue  to  give  water  from  a  well  that  is   dry,  neither  can  we  con=nue  to  give  to  others  when   we  are  feeling  depleted,  empty  and  exhausted.    It  is   necessary  to  begin  to  show  yourself  love  by  not  al-­‐ lowing  yourself  to  give  away  your  essence,  by  doing   those  things  for  yourself  that  bring  you  joy  (and  not   feel  guilty  about  it!).  Whether  it  is  long  bubble  baths,   a  few  minutes  of  silence,  a  long  walk  in  the  park,  go-­‐ ing  shopping,  dancing  around  the  house  singing  at   the  top  of  your  lungs,  taking  =me  to  go  to  the  doctor   for  that  check-­‐up  you  keep  puMng  off,  choosing  to   say  "NO"  when  your  plate  is  full,  taking  =me  to  hang   with  your  girlfriends,  geMng  help  to  heal  from  the   hurts  of  the  past  etc,  ...all  of  these  are  part  of  loving   yourself. In  this  issue  I  have  chosen  four  women  who  have   learned  the  importance  of  self-­‐love  and  self-­‐care.    All   of  them  have  had  challenges  emo=onally,  physically,   spiritually,  and  have  come  out  of  those  challenges  

stronger and  wiser.  They  realize  the  need  to  work  on   loving  themselves  and  not  feeling  guilty  about  caring   for  themselves.  They  have  learned  that  self-­‐care  and   self-­‐love  really  is  an  internal  process.    I  have  learned   much  from  all  of  them  and  I  am  so  grateful  to  call   each  of  these  women  my  sister  and  friend.     There  are  over  20  women  who  have  contributed  to   this  issue  of  “Wellness  Woman  40  and  Beyond”    and   I  am  so  grateful.    There  is  so  much  wisdom,  beauty   and  love  in  what  they  have  wriZen.  I  pray  that  what   they  have  shared  will  bless  you  as  much  as  it  has   blessed  me.   Health,  Blessings,  and  Love, Lynnis Lynnis  Woods-­‐Mullins,  CHHC,  CLC,  CPI  is  founder   and  CEO  of  PraiseWorks  Health  and  Wellness,  a   faith-­‐based  health  and  wellness  organiza@on  for   women  over  40. 5


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Featured Wellness Woman Sue Ingebretson  

Orange County,  California  Self-­‐  Care:  Acceptance  and  contentment  during   the  challenges  and  obstacles  of  life.   There  are  a  few  silent  soldiers  out  there  who  are   figh=ng  for  Women.    They  are  advoca=ng  for  those   issues  that  are  important  to  us.  Suppor=ng  and   giving  women  inspira=on,  mo=va=on  and  guidance   to  keep  women  moving  forward  toward  their   ul=mate  wellness.  Sue  Ingrebetsen  is  one  of  those   soldiers.  She  is  an  advocate  and  ac=vist  for  Women   aZaining  total  wellness  for  their  mind,  body  and   spirit.  Although  she  was  diagnosed  with  Fibromyalgia   she  hasn’t  let  that  stop  her.    She  is  a  =reless   advocate  for  other  women  who  have  been   diagnosed  with  the  disease.    Her  level  of  strength  in   the  face  of  her  illness  is  truly  remarkable.  She  serves   as  a  true  example  of  what  God  can  do  when  you   truly  accept  your  circumstances,  find  contentment   and  con=nue  along  the  journey  with  a  strong  sense   of  faith  and  purpose.      

What do  you  do  for  your  own  self-­‐care? Bible  Study,  Prayer,  Medita=on  and  Fitness  Ac=vi=es.     I  make  myself  a  priority  and  put  my  money  where   my  mouth  is.  I  actually  do  the  things  I  write  about.      I   have  learned  to  be  forgiving  of  myself  and  take  =me   for  personal  introspec=on.    Taking  =me  to  manage   my  =me  has  resulted  in  less  stress.    I  really  have   learned  the  importance  of  being  kind  to  myself.    I   understand  the  priciples  of  restora=on  and  live  by   them  –  nutri=on,  fitness  and  emo=onal  wellness.     Everything  else  shiIs  aIer  these  priori=es.    If  I  don’t   follow  my  advice  I  suffer  from  the  symptoms  of   Fibromyalgia.    I  am  grateful  for  that.    I  have  learned   not  to  judge  but  to  be  grateful.    There  are  =mes  in   life  when  things  are  great  and  =me  when  they  are   not.  I  have  learned  to  accept  what  is  and  make  

adjustments.  The  pain  from  Fibromyalgia  is  almost   like  a  friend  hanging  around  just  to  wait  and  show   me  when  I  get  off  track.    I  no  longer  look  at   Fibromyalgia  as  a  curse  and  I  don’t  say  I  am  cured.    I   have  accepted  where  I  am.  I  am  a  stubborn  Mid-­‐ Western,  Norwegian,  a  Pastors  kid  and  I    never   would  have  moved  to  where  I  am  in  life  (spiritually   and  emo=onal  wellness  as  well  as  physical  wellness)   if  the  pain  of  Fibromyalgia  hadn’t  brought  me  to  my   knees.    I  am  grateful  for  having  Fibromyalgia  because   it  made  me  listen!

Why is  it  important  for  women  to  take  the   Ime  to  truly  love  themselves? I  think  the  reason  it  is  important  because  that  very   7


thought is  so  foreign.  You  will  find  90%  of  women   would  hesitate  before  answering  the  ques=on  “do  you   love  yourselves?”    or  they  say  “are  you  kidding  me?  I   hate  my  thighs,  my  wrinkles  etc”.  Women  come  up   with  all  kinds  of  reasons  why  they  are  unlovable.        We   confuse  the  term  “self-­‐love”  with  “good  or  right”  and   want  to  jus=fy  why  they  are  not  “all  right  or  good   enough”.    Some  of  us  have  a  false  humbleness  feel  if   we  say  we  love  ourselves  we  are  “unChris=an  or   arrogant”.      How  you  fill  about  yourself  and  your   health  is  intrinsically  linked.    You  can’t  be  kind  and   care  for  yourself;  do  what  your  body  needs  to  stay   healthy  without  loving  yourself.    If  you  are  hurt  biZer   and  resenjul  it  will  show  up  in  your  body  all  sorts  of   ways.  It  is  all  linked  which  is  why  I  do  what  I  do.  I  am   always  digging  between  how  we  fell  about  ourselves   and  how  it  is  reflected  in  our  own  health.  

How have  you  managed  to  age  so  gracefully?     What  is  your  secret?   I  am  54  and  my  natural  impulse  is  to  totally  deflect,     say  that  I  have  wrinkles  up  close,  I  am  carrying  weight   around  the  middle,  BUT,  I  will  step  back  and  shut-­‐up   and  say  “thank-­‐you!”  (she  laughs)  I  think  in  the  last  5   to  10  years  I  have  been  doing  a  lot  of  inner  work  to   accept  what  is.  I  can’t  change  what  has  happened.  I   can  only  change  how  I  think.  I  no  longer  waste  =me   thinking  about  if  something  is  good,  bad  right  or   wrong.    I  have  become  a  lot  more  accep=ng  of  my   own  thoughts  and  my  life  in  general.    You  know  I  have   a  Shel=e,  liZle  collie.  She  is  a  herding  animal  and  she   always  wants  to  herd  and  would  be  happy  if  everyone   stood  in  a  circle.    I  feel  that  God  does  the  same  for  us.   He  guides  us,  He  wants  to  keep  us  safe  and  in  a   “circle”.  He  is  the  master  shepherd  and  has  everything   in  his  hands.    God  is  accep=ng  of  my  insecuri=es,   problems  and  challenges.      I  have  learned  from  this   and  it  has  given  me  a  sense  of  peace.    I  don’t  beat   myself  up  anymore.  I  have  removed  judgment,  shame   and  blame.  It  isn’t  produc=ve  and  not  a  part  of  the   healing  process.    Being  over  50  is  awesome.  

What is  your  definiIon  of  a  Wellness  Woman? She  has  an  overall  sense  of  contentment.    Acceptance   is  great  and  contentment  follows  that.  We  can  force   ourselves  ar=ficially  but  truly  we  much  reach  a  sense   of  acceptance  in  order  to  content.      A  wellness  woman   has  an  understanding  of  who  she  is,  where  she  has   been,  how  all  of  that  has  been  valuable  for  who  she  is   today.  She  has  an  idea  where  she  wants  to  go  but  is   open  to  not  knowing  exactly  where  she  is  going  to  go   because  she  has  trust  and  faith  in  the  fact  she  will  be   where  she  needs  to  be  at  the  appointed  =me.    A   Wellness  Woman  is    pa=ent  ,loving,    kind,  and  open  to   what  lies  ahead.  

Sue Ingebreston Sue  Ingebretson  is  an  author,  speaker,  cer=fied   holis=c  health  care  prac==oner  and  the  director  of   program  development  for  the  Fibromyalgia  and   Chronic  Pain  Center  at  California  State  University,   Fullerton.  She  is  also  a  Pa=ent  Advocate/Fibromyalgia   Expert  for  the  Alliance  Health  website  and  a   Fibromyalgia  editor  for  the  ProHealth  website   community.  Her  #1  Amazon  best-­‐selling  chronic  illness   book,  FibroWHYalgia,  details  her  personal  journey   from  chronic  illness  to  chronic  wellness.  Her  feature   appearances  include  FIRST  for  Women  magazine   (2010,  2013),  Know  the  Cause  syndicated  health  TV   program,  KABC  radio,  and  various  other  US  and  UK   publica=ons.  She  is  also  the  creator  of   the  FibroFrog™-­‐  a  therapeu=c  stress-­‐relieving  tool   which  provides  powerful  healing  benefits  with  fun   and  whimsy. www.RebuildingWellness.com

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Loving Yourself Through Adversity

BY Alx  U(erman     When  circumstances  seem  the  roughest,  can  we   use  adversity  to  keep  learning  about  love?    And   love  ourselves  through  it  all,  no  ma=er  what?   “A  woman  is  like  a  tea  bag  –  you  never  know  how   strong  she  is  un@l  she  gets  in  hot  water.”                         -­‐  Eleanor  Roosevelt

In my  own  journey  through  life,  I’ve  faced  many   traumas,  challenges,  conflicts,  obstacles  and  dark   nights  of  the  soul  –  and  I’m  not  at  all  unique  in   this  experience.  Each  of  us  has  a  path  to  walk   through  life,  oGen  fraught  with  difficulIes.  It's   natural.  
 
 While  contemplaIng  this  subject,  I  iniIally   wanted  to  find  one  parIcular  example  from  my   own  life  that  would  illustrate  everything  I’ve  

learned. What  came  to  me  instead  was  to  share  a   list  of  tools  I’ve  picked  up  –  simply  by  having  lived   through  various  twists  &  turns,  triumphs  &   crashes  –  you  know,  life.   First,  a  few  quesIons:   • How  do  you  feel  about  yourself,  when  things   get  hard?     •  Is  it  easy  to  separate  circumstances  from  the   self,  ie,  recognize  that  challenges  may  be  hap-­‐ pening  around  or  to  you,  while  your  essence  is   intact?     •  Do  you  tend  to  blame  yourself?  Others?  Do  you   get  self-­‐righteous? 9


• How much  do  you  look  inside  for  strength  guid-­‐ ance,  answers,  clarity?  How  much  do  you  look   outside  for  same?   • How  can  you  keep  your  inner  light  shining,  no   maEer  what’s  happening?   Each  of  us  has  different  reacIons,  tendencies,  pat-­‐ terns  that  emerge  when  we’re  really  up  against   the  wall  –  and  we  all  have  different  tools  to  use   when  facing  challenges.   What  we  choose,  or  how  we  react,  can  be  incredi-­‐ bly  instrucIve,  and  of  tremendous  use  in  our  evo-­‐ luIon  into  more  love,  more  light,  more  joy,  in  our-­‐ selves  –  if  we  pay  a=enIon  to  what’s  really  going   on  inside,  and  what  our  approach  to  self-­‐love  is.   Learning  to  care  for  the  self  inside… When  I  was  younger,  especially  teens  and  20s,  the   idea  of  self-­‐love  was  foreign,  and  even  sounded   selfish.  The  idea  was  baffling:  that  I  could  (and   should!)  learn  to  care  about  myself,  extend  com-­‐ passion  and  understanding  to  myself,  acknowledge   and  respect  myself,  and  finally,  really,  truly  love  my-­‐ self.  Plagued  by  an  inner  drive  towards  perfecIon-­‐ ism,  I  fell  far  short  of  my  idealized  version  of  my-­‐ self.  It  was  a  difficult  ba=le  to  learn  to  accept  my-­‐ self  as  a  work  in  progress…  and  as  such,  a  loveable   one.  
 
 Especially  when  things  got  tough  –  financial  strug-­‐ gles,  relaIonship  conflicts,  family  issues,  loss  of   loved  ones,  professional  disappointments  –  it  was   all  too  easy  to  fall  for  the  criIcal  judgments  with   which  I’d  grown  up,  and  blame  myself  for  what-­‐ ever  difficulIes  I  was  facing. And  yet  –  the  spark  of  a  deeper  awareness  was   growing,  gradually,  in  me,  through  each  set  of  

and t s r i f rself s into line. u o y e v “Lo g else fall uro y e n v i o l h everyt ally have to done in You re get anything self to this world.”B
 all ucille ~L

challenges: as  a  human  being,  I  was  worthy  of   love.  Simply  by  being  alive.   IniIally,  it  was  easier  to  understand  that  I  merited   this  from  others.  The  tougher  awareness  was  rec-­‐ ognizing  that  I  absolutely  require  this  from  my-­‐ self!    (And  in  fact,  wasn’t  really  capable  of  giving  or   receiving  genuine  love  with  others,  unIl  I  learned   how  to  extend  that  love  &  care  to  myself.)   Adversity  –  the  greatest  teaching  material! Over  years,  and  through  a  flowering  spiritual  ap-­‐ proach  to  life,  I’ve  found  that  loving  myself  is  one   of  the  most  rewarding,  incredible  experiences  in   learning  possible,  especially  when  faced  with   challenges  great  and  small.    In  the  university  of   life,  this  is  the  material  that  never  gets  old,  or   dated  –  it’s  a  constantly  vibrant,  living  invitaIon  to   keep  evolving,  expanding,  understanding  &  loving   the  inner  self.   These  days,  I  welcome  difficult  Imes,  recognizing   that  they’re  not  happening  ‘to’  me,  but  rather   they’re  happening  ‘for’  me,  to  help  me  evolve  into   the  best  person  I  can  be.  (cont’d  next  page)

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Tools to  Create  Self-­‐Love  Under  Duress So  here  are  some  tools  I  pick  up,  when  I  know  I   need  to  love  myself  through  a  set  of  challenges.  I   hope  the  list  inspires  you  to  expand  or  revisit   some  of  your  own.   1.  Schedule  Ime-­‐outs  for  self-­‐nurturing,  every  day.   What  do  you  do  to  feel  safe,  loved,  balanced  in   yourself?   2.  Think  about  what  counsel  you’d  give  a  dear   friend  in  a  similar  situaIon  –  then  apply  that  exact   advice  to  yourself! 3.  Turn  towards  support  -­‐  sharing  problems  with   the  empatheIc  hearts  of  family  &  friends  is  incredi-­‐ bly  healing.  

4. Look  inward,  to  the  core  of  your  self,  touching   the  Source  through  prayer  &  meditaIon.    Stay   humble.  Stay  grateful. 5.  Journal  or  keep  a  diary  of  your  insights  along   this  journey,  even  one  line  a  day. 6.  Be  sure  to  laugh!   7.  Look  for  the  deeper  lesson  -­‐  ask  yourself,  “What   am  I  learning  from  this?”   8.  Give  yourself  a  break!    No  one  is  perfect  all  the   Ime.     9.  Let  go  of  whatever  needs  ledng  go. 10.  Listen  to  your  inner  voice.  Trust  it!

-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐ ADVERTISEMENT-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐

Do YOU Want to be Happier? Do YOU Want to be Healthier? Need a Speaker? Contact: Rebecca L. Norrington Host of Reality Spirituality www.rebeccanorrington.com Info@rebeccanorrington.com

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Nakeesha Harris, M.S, C.N.C, C.M.C. Nakeesha T. Harris is a God-fearing wife and certified nutritional counselor. Nakeesha is certified through the American Association of Nutritional Counselors. After many years of dieting and trying various programs, she learned that the best way to get healthy and not fluctuate with her weight was not a diet, but a lifestyle. Her desire is for everyone to live to their fullest potential and purpose without any hindrances. Because of this, she works very hard to remove any of those nutritional blockers. Nakeesha believes that making adjustments and dedicating some time to your health will benefit you, your family, and your purpose. Nakeesha is founder of Nakessha’s Nutrition. www.nakeeshasnutrition.com

Pastor Chyrell English Chyrell English is Entrepreneur, Business Coach, Professional Development Trainer and President of Teaching New Thinking! (TNT). She is an ordained Minister and founder of Doers of The Word, an on-line bible study ministry for Women. www.teachnewthinking.com

Diana Lynn Kohn Diana Lynn is a business owner, speaker, and author from Kirkland Washington. She is a contributing author to international bestselling “Chicken soup for the Soul” series. Her responses to life’s obstacles serve to inspire readers of all backgrounds to find new beginnings. www.recoveringdysfunctional.com 12


LEARNING TO  LOVE  YOURSELF By  Mary  Ellen  Ciganovich One  of  the  most  difficult  lessons  we  must  learn  through   living  is  learning  to  “Love  Yourself”.  You  are  born  with   the  natural  ability  to  love  –  unconditionally.  You  are   born  a  clean  slate  full  of  this  wonderful  loving  feeling.   Yet  slowly  day  by  day  without  even  our  knowledge  we   are  taught  our  “unlovingness”.  The  societal  mispercep-­‐ tions  of  motives,  judgments  and  expectations  are   anything  but  loving. Self-­‐  love  must  become  a  way  of  life  that  you  not  only   practice  but  live  on  a  daily  basis.  Teach  your  family   members  -­‐  through  your  example  -­‐  how  to  face  their   problems  (misperceptions)  with  a  loving  attitude.  How-­‐ ever  you  cannot  teach  something  that  you  yourself  do   not  know.  So  how  do  you  begin  to  “Learn  to  Love  Your-­‐ self” First  you  become  aware  of  the  first  moment  you  were   told,  “No”,  “you  are  wrong”,  or,  “this  is  the  way  you   have  to  do  it”.  In  this  moment  you  began  to  question   your  ability  to  think  and  feel  for  yourself.  You  began  to   “give  your  power  away”  to  someone  in  authority  who   you  were  “told”  knew  better.  You  must  take  yourself   back  to  the  moment  or  moments  where  you  began  to   place  the  opinions  of  others  above  your  own.    When  you  began  to  create  an  identity  for  yourself  –   usually  as  a  teenager  –  you  tried  many  forms  of  self-­‐ expression.  Some  of  these  forms  of  self-­‐expression   worked  and  maybe  at  times  you  found  yourself  in  trou-­‐ ble.  During  these  “trouble  teen”  times  when  you   should  have  been  learning  to  choose  differently  and   love  yourself  in  spite  of  your  error  in  judgment,  you   were  probably  told,  “see  I  told  you  ______!”  You  began   to  look  to  other  people  to  validate  your  accomplish-­‐

through our  teen  years  without  feeling  misunderstood   or  unaccepted.   Become  aware  of  how  you  receive  affection,    kindness,   love    and  joy  because  this  is  what  you  teach  your  chil-­‐ dren.    Become  aware  of  all  the  things  that  make  you   happy.  Allow  yourself  as  an  adult  to  laugh  and  play.  Stop  looking  to  others  in  your  life  to  validate  your  feel-­‐ ings.    You  must  choose  a  way  of  living  through  becom-­‐ ing  honest  with  yourself  as  to  what  is  stopping  you   from  loving  yourself.    You  must  be  willing  to  express   your  feelings  and  release  your  judgments  from  your   past  experiences.    Empower  yourself  by  accepting  your-­‐ self  just  as  you  are  whole,  complete  and  perfect.  By   learning  to  love  yourself  and  living  your  life  this  way  you   will  be  teaching  your  children  that  their  lives  and  feel-­‐ ings  are  valuable.  Love  is  THE  transforming  element   that  will  transform  you  back  to  an  adult  full  of  the  same   unconditional  love  as  an  innocent  newborn  baby.   This  month  and  forever  more  discover  your  LIGHT   which  is  Love  which  is  God  within  you.  Remember  that   you  are  complete,  whole  and  perfect  just  the  way  you   are  and  just  the  way  you  were  born!

ments when  those  are  the  very  people  who  took  your   power  (love  of  self)  away.  I  don’t  think  any  of  us  get   13


Dear Rebecca, My  twenty  something  daughter  is  smart  and  talented  but  has  an  unforgiving  and  intolerant  nature  that  worries   me.  She  has  some  OCD  tendencies,  insomnia  and  can't  seem  to  relax.  I  wonder  what  I  can  do,  if  anything,  to   help  her  open  up  to  the  wonders  of  the  world  and  to  look  for  the  best  in  people,  rather  than  the  worst,  and  to  be   a  more  kindly,  compassionate  being?  She  is  far  too  young  to  be  so  cynical,  negaLve  and  self  absorbed.  Is  there   anything  I  can  do  to  guide  her,  or,  is  this  just  a  passage  in  her  life  that  I  should  accept  (and  love)?   Signed,   What  Have  I  Done?

Rebecca Answers: Dear  What  Have  I  Done, First  of  all  I  want  to  express  my  apprecia=on  to  you  for  being  open  enough  to  share  with  the  world  your   challenges.  WHID,  I  can  feel  your  heart,  and  you,  like  many  mothers,  have  a  natural  inten=on  of  wan=ng  only   what’s  the  best  for  their  children.  I  too,  am  a  mother  and  there  was  a  =me  in  my  life  when  being  a  “good   mother”  was  my  number-­‐one  priority.   During  my  well-­‐meaning  aZempts  at  being  a  good  mother,  I  found  myself  talking  –  talking  a  lot.  I  talked  about   everything  from  sex  to  drugs  to  money  to  rela=onships  to  religion  to  poli=cs  and  everything  in  between.  I  ex-­‐ pressed  what  I  liked  and  I  expressed  what  I  didn’t  like.  I  prac=cally  told  him  how  to  “be”  and  what  to  become.  I   shared  with  him  my  limited  (yes,  I  said  limited)  perspec=ves  every  chance  I  got.  Fortunately  for  me,  we  lived  un-­‐ der  the  same  roof  and  he  was  literally  a  cap=ve  audience.   All  joking  aside,  from  the  day  my  son  was  born  he  received  the  Rebecca  L.  Norrington  doctrine  of  how  to  be,   act,  feel,  speak  and  think.  Oh,  I  leI  nothing  out.  And  here’s  the  kicker  –  I  even  remember  thinking  “If  my  son   turned  out  to  be  just  like  me,  I’d  be  happy”.  Without  ques=on,  my  good  inten=ons  were  leading  my  son  down   the  path  to  a  life  of  certain  unhappiness.  Why?  Because  I  was  unhappy!  I  cannot  teach  what  I  did  not  possess   my  own  damn  self.  Ouch!  Besides,  there  couldn’t  possibly  be  an  alterna=ve  way  of  thinking,  living  or  being   other  than  what  I  thought,  could  there? With  all  of  that  said,  I’d  like  to  provide  you  with  my  personal  perspec=ve  of  what’s  happening  with  you  and  your   precious  daughter.  I’m  going  to  dissect  every  sec=on  of  your  leZer  down  to  the  least  common  denominator  to   discover  what’s  under  the  surface  of  your  rela=onship.  I’d  like  you  to  know,  in  advance  that  I’m  a  hard-­‐hiZer  –   it’s  just  who  I  am.  I’d  like  you  to  understand  that  in  advance.  With  that  said,  my  answer  is  wriZen  with  an  enor-­‐ mous  amount  of  love.  My  inten=on  is  always  to  (1)  find  the  truth,  and  then  (2)  assist  you  with  finding  peace.

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The Worrying  Has  Got  to  Stop You  wrote  that  your  daughters’  behavior  “worries   me.”  I  believe  that  worrying  is  a  useless  and  addic=ve   behavior  that  was  taught  to  us  at  an  early  age.  Worry-­‐ ing  is  an  emo=on  that  detrimentally  affects  the  “wor-­‐ rier”.  Also  important  to  note,  the  act  of  worrying  sub-­‐ tracts  from  your  happiness.  Why  would  you  want  to   engage  in  a  behavior  that  is  a  useless  and  subtracts   from  your  happiness?  This  is  a  ques=on  that  only  you   can  answer.   Hear  Yee,  Hear  Yee,  I’m  Worried  About  You Further,  adver=sing,  to  anyone,  that  you  are  worried   is  an  interes=ng  behavior  to  dissect.  In  my  opinion,   “I’m  worried  about  you”  is  an  announcement  that   doesn’t  need  announcing.  What  does  that  say  about  a   person  who  adver=ses  to  the  object  of  their  concern,   that  they  are  worried?  I  used  to  think  that  when  peo-­‐ ple  told  me  they  were  worried  about  me,  it  meant   that  they  cared  about  me.  I  discovered  that,  that  is   not  the  truth.  What  does  “I’m  worried  about  you”   really  mean?  In  my  opinion,  one  of  the  reasons  you   announce  that  you  are  worried  is  because  (1)  you’d   like  the  person  to  change  their  behavior.  Change  your   behavior  so  that  I  don’t  worry  about  you,  right?  Or  (2)   you  might  say  “I’m  worried  about  you”  is  another  way   to  express  concern  for  the  person.  If  I  worry  about   you,  that  means  I  care  about  you,  right?  Wrong.  Wor-­‐ rying  about  someone  does  not  mean  you  love  or  care   about  them.  And  in  my  not  so  humble  opinion,  the  op-­‐ posite  is  true.  The  energy  of  “being  worried”  brings   NOTHING  of  value  to  you  or  the  person  you’re  wor-­‐ ried  about.  Nothing!  Rebecca,  what  can  I  do   instead?...I’m  glad  you  asked. I  would  rather  send  out  to  the  Universe,  the  following   thoughts.  I  know  and  trust  that  the  Universe  has  total   control  of  what  happens  to  me  and  my  loved  ones.  I   know  and  trust  that  the  Universe  will  not  allow   anything  to  happen  that’s  not  supposed  to  happen.  I   know  and  trust  that  my  loved  one  is  experiencing  ex-­‐

actly what  he/she  needs  to  experience  at  any  given   =me.  I  know  and  trust  that  everything  that  happens   to  me  and  my  loved  ones  is  happening  for  my  beZer-­‐ ment.  When  you  know,  trust  and  surrender  to  the  per-­‐ fect  order  and  wisdom  of  the  Universe,  what’s  there   to  worry  about?

The Truth  About  Worrying   1)  Worrying  is  a  learned  behavior.  You  were  not  born   with  the  ability  to  worry.  You  were  taught  to  worry.   The  good  news  is  whatever  you’ve  learned,  you  can   unlearn. 2)  When  you  TELL  someone  you're  worried  about   them,  it's  really  your  aZempt  to  control  them  in  dis-­‐ guise. 3)  Worrying  is  an  unhealthy  addic=on. 4)  When  you’re  worried,  you’re  not  living  in  the  pre-­‐ sent  moment.  The  present  moment  is  REALITY,  and   the  future  doesn't  exist  –  yet. 5)  Worrying  serves  absolutely  no  purpose  –  ever. Warning:  You  might  need  a  seat  belt  for  my  next  re-­‐ sponse. Please  know  that  I’m  responding  to  your  ques=on   with  Universal  Love.  I'd  also  like  you  to  know  that  I’m   sharing  with  you  the  wisdom  of  my  experience  and   Universal  teachings.  My  dear  mother,  you  are  very   judgmental  and  extremely  cri=cal.  I  know  this  because   I  used  to  be  the  Queen  of  Judgment  Na=on  and  the   Ruler  of  Cri=cal  County.  It  takes  one  to  recognize  an-­‐ other  one.  (Remember  that  statement.)   Yes,  you  are  extremely  judgmental  and  cri=cal,  how-­‐ ever,  I  don’t  believe  this  behavior  begins  and  ends   with  your  daughter.  Usually  people  that  judge  and   cri=cize  others  also  judge  and  cri=cize  themselves,   life,  circumstances,  events,  countries,  and  the  state  of   the  world!  It’s  a  miserable  party.  Judging  and  cri=ciz-­‐ ing  is  man-­‐made  behavior.  We  were  not  put  on  this   planet  to  judge  or  cri=cize  anything  or  anyone  -­‐  includ-­‐ ing  ourselves.  What  I’ve  discovered  about  my  past  be-­‐ havior,  is  that  as  soon  as  I  stopped  judging  and  cri=ciz-­‐ 15


ing myself,  I  stopped  judging  and  cri=cizing  others.  Why   did  I  decide  to  end  this  destruc=ve  behavior  once  and   for  all?  It’s  really  simple.  When  I  judge  and  I  cri=cize,   I'm  literally  subtrac=ng  from  my  happiness.  All  judg-­‐ ments  and  cri=cal  thoughts  subtract  from  your  happi-­‐ ness. Further,  there  are  millions  of  people  on  this  planet  that   would  not  come  to  the  same  conclusions  you  have  re-­‐ garding  your  daughter.  In  fact,  if  I  met  your  daughter,  I   guarantee  I  would  not  have  the  same  opinion  you  have   about  her.  Why?  Because  I’d  be  experiencing  your   daughter  through  my  eyes.  There  are  7.2  billion  people   on  this  planet  and  each  person  will  form  a  different   opinion  about  your  daughter.  And  this  is  what  I'd  tell   your  daughter.  The  only  opinion  that  should  maZer  to   her,  is  her  opinion  of  herself. Warning:  You  WILL  need  a  seat  belt  for  this  response. This  is  going  to  be  hard  to  hear  and  digest,  but  all,  and  I   mean  all  of  the  adjec=ves  you  used  to  describe  your   daughter  are  really  a  descrip=on  of  YOU,  my  dear  one.   Yes,  you  can  only  recognize  in  another  what  YOU  are   yourself.  It’s  a  truth,  which  believe  me,  I  resisted  for   years.  Yes,  every  “fault”  I  found  in  someone  else,  was   screaming  MY  name.  You  cannot  no=ce  what’s  "wrong"   with  anyone  else  unless  you  possess  that  same  charac-­‐ teris=cs.  When  you  cri=cize  anyone  you’re  ALWAYS   speaking  about  YOURSELF.  Look  in  the  mirror.  Do  YOU   recognize  any  of  the  following  traits? •  Unforgiving  and  intolerant  nature •  OCD  tendencies •  Insomnia •  Can't  seem  to  relax •  Cynical •  NegaIve •  Self-­‐absorbed

Your leZer  is  not  about  your  daughter.  Your  leZer  is   about  you.  You  said  you  wanted  to  help  your  daughter   and  I  believe  you  really  do.  The  advice  you  wrote  is  not   for  your  daughter.  The  advice  you  wrote  below  is  for   you  to  follow!

• Open  up  to  the  wonders  of  the  world •  Look  for  the  best  in  people,  rather  than  the  worst •  Be  a  kinder,  compassionate  being

When my  son  was  11,  I  discovered  the  ONLY  way  I  was   going  to  teach  him  valuable  lessons  was  for  ME  to  be   the  example  of  what  I  wanted  him  to  learn.  Much  to  my   chagrin,  my  words  never  taught  him  anything.  It  was   my  behavior  that  influenced  him.  If  you  want  your   daughter  to  relax,  YOU  have  to  be  the  example  of  a  re-­‐ laxed  person.  If  you  want  your  daughter  to  look  for  the   best  in  people,  then  YOU  have  to  look  for  the  best  in   people.  If  you  want  your  daughter  to  be  a  more  kind   and  compassionate  being,  then  YOU  have  to  be  a  more   kind  and  compassionate  being. The  only  thing  you  can  do  is  BE  the  example  of  the  type   of  person  you  want  your  daughter  to  be.  BE,  LIVE  and   REPRESENT  the  example  everyday  and  in  every  mo-­‐ ment.  I  also  suggest  that  you  start  focusing  and  no=cing   ONLY  the  good  traits  in  your  daughter.  Begin  ignoring   what  you  think  is  "wrong"  with  her,  because  in  reality,   there's  nothing  wrong  with  her  or  her  behavior.   In  conclusion,  my  dear  mother,  know  that  your  daugh-­‐ ter  has  her  own  journey  to  walk  and  experience.  She,   like  you  and  I,  have  lessons  to  learn  that  are  unique  to   each  of  us.  Allow  her  to  experience  her  journey  in  her   own  way,  and  in  her  own  =me.  I’d  like  you  to  know  and   trust  that  the  Universe  is  holding  your  daughter  by  the   hand  along  her  journey.  And,  everything  she  does  and   everything  she  says  and  everything  that  she  experi-­‐ ences,  IS  for  her  beZerment.  Know  that,  trust  that,  and   leave  your  daughter  in  the  hands  of  the  Universe.   Mom,  the  Universe  does  not  make  mistakes.   WHID,  I'm  grateful  for  your  ques=ons  and  I  can  feel   how  much  you  love  your  children.  I  would  like  you  to   know,  without  a  doubt,  how  much  the  Universe  loves   you!   Love, Rebecca  L.  Norrington 16


By Karen  Wells,  M.Div. I  don’t  know  what  you  might  be  going  through  to-­‐ day  as  you  read  this  arIcle.  I  am  not  certain  if  you   are  in  the  midst  of  a  really  tough  Ime,  or  if  life  is   going  pre=y  good.  Yet,  one  thing  I  do  know  about   every  one  of  you  is  that  you  are  “fearfully  and   wonderfully  made”  (Psalms  139:1).  I  know  that   God  looks  at  you  as  “the  apple  of  His  eye”   (Psalms.  17:8).  I  also  know  that  God  already  knew   you  while  you  were  being  knit  together  in  your   mother’s  womb  (Psalms.  139:13).

say it  simply  because  it  is  true!  Not  by  my  own  as-­‐ serIon,  but  by  God’s.  He  is  the  one  who  whis-­‐ pered  LOVE  loud  enough  into  my  heart  for  me  to   really  hear  its  meaning.  He  is  the  one  who  de-­‐ signed  my  self-­‐worth.

Yet, I  did  not  always  know  this.     As  a  ma=er  a  fact,  I  can  confidently  say  that  at   one  Ime  I  was  certain  that  the  above  statements   could  not  be  true…at  least  they  could  not  be  true   about  me.  You  see,  at  one  Ime  I  struggled  to  be-­‐ lieve  in  myself,  to  recognise  that  I  have  self-­‐ worth,  and  to  give  myself  permission  to  accept   that  I  am  valued.     Perhaps  life  situaIons  brought  me  to  this  point:   those  traumaIc  experiences  of  the  past,  those   haunIng  bullying  words  from  my  school  days,   those  mistakes  I  made  that  seemed  unredeem-­‐ able.  Or  maybe  it  wasn’t  any  of  those  things.   Maybe  it  was  just  how  I  thought  I  was  supposed   to  think. Yet,  it  really  does  not  ma=er  anymore  because  I   have  been  freed  from  self-­‐sabotage,  self-­‐loathing,   and  self-­‐quesIoning.  Today  I  am  a  woman  who   lives  the  truth  of  what  God  says  about  me.  I  now   give  myself  permission  to  say,  “Karen,  I  love  you”. I  don’t  say  this  in  some  selfish  arrogant  self-­‐ centered  way  where  I  put  myself  above  all  else;  I  

My life  changed  the  day  I  believed  in  myself.   Something  shiGed  in  my  mind  and  spirit  that  reso-­‐ nated  that  I  was  OK….  I  mean  really  OK.  That  was   the  day  I  began  living  as  a  woman  of  self-­‐worth.   And  I’d  love  to  share  with  you  what  I  have   learned  because  of  it. Women  who  embrace  self-­‐worth  pracIce  the  fol-­‐ lowing:  

S-­‐ self-­‐care.  Jesus  showed  us  how  to  do  this.  He   made  sure  His  basic  physical  needs  were  met,  He   had  Ight  relaIonships,  He  stayed  in  regular  touch   with  God,  He  stood  up  for  Himself  when  it  was   necessary,  and  He  took  Ime  out  to  gather  with   others  and  have  some  fun.  He  was  then  able  to   take  care  of  His  calling,  because  He  was  emoIon-­‐ ally,  physically,  mentally,  and  spiritually  whole.    

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style. These  women  empathize,  encourage,  and   support  others  yet  do  not  carry  other  people’s   junk.    

R-­‐ filter  their  thoughts  and  channel  right  thinking   into  their  minds.  They  know  that  what  they  feed   into  their  mind  grows  and  what  they  starve  from   their  mind  dies.  They  are  certain  to  feed  healthy   thoughts  and  starve  poisonous  ones.    

T-­‐ trust  God’s  Word.  They  encompass  their  life-­‐ E-­‐  expect  good  things  to  happen  in  their  life.   They  have  decided  not  to  let  setbacks,  difficulIes,   or  hard  work  defeat  them  in  their  outlook  in  life.   They  know  that  “all  things  work  out  for  good  to   those  who  love  God”  (Romans  8:28)  and  keep   their  opImism  high.  

L-­‐ do  not  limit  their  poten_al  and  dreams  be-­‐ cause  of  past  hurt  or  trauma.  They  choose  not  to   live  as  a  vicIm  of  those  experiences,  which  could   potenIally  destroy  them.  They  live  a  life  of  free-­‐ dom  and  hope  in  spite  of  someone  else’s  violaIon   against  them.    

F-­‐ know  that  God  favors  them  as  a  valuable  indi-­‐

style, their  decisions,  and  their  dreams  around  di-­‐ recIon  from  God’s  Word.  They  recognise  that  He   can  be  trusted  above  all.  

H-­‐ strive  to  live  a  life  of  holiness.  They  know  that   God  has  given  them  a  second  chance  at  life   through  Jesus  Christ,  and  so  desire  to  honor  Him   with  their  body,  mind,  soul,  and  strength.   I  am  so  grateful  that  I  can,  with  humble  confi-­‐ dence,  accept  my  self-­‐worth.  Each  day  offers  a   greater  hope,  expectaIon,  and  challenge  to  make   the  most  of  every  day  I  have  because  I  am  no   longer  weighed  down  by  beliefs  that  suffocated   who  I  am.  Now  give  yourself  permission  to  go  and   do  likewise.  

vidual. They  know  He  does  not  play  favorites.  They   are  grateful  for  His  uncondiIonal  desire  to  know   and  bless  them.

W-­‐ intrinsically  accept  that  they  are  worthy  from   concep_on.  This  is  not  because  of  what  they  have   done  but  purely  because  of  what  God  has  done.   He  created  them  in  His  image  as  a  human  being.   He  formed  them  with  value.

O-­‐ do  not  personalize  other  people’s  words  and   ac_ons.  They  are  asserIve  in  their  beliefs  and  life-­‐

youre v o l rn to a an e l c n u a o c y , u “If yo all the flaws much o d self an ther people s s you so make love o t a h t And 
 better. happy.” oweth Chen n i t s i r ~K

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By Michelle  Howe How  long,  O  Lord?  Will  you  forget  me  forever?  How  long  will  you  hide  your  face  from  me?  How  long  must  I  wrestle   with  my  thoughts  and  every  day  have  sorrow  in  my  heart?   -­‐Psalm  13:  1-­‐2

Life comes  to  women  in  sIff  doses.  When  it  does,   and  we  are  crushed  or  sha=ered  or  stretched  be-­‐ yond  our  limits,  we  need  to  surround  ourselves   with  good  theologians.  But  at  the  end  of  the  day,   it  won’t  be  their  theology  we  will  lean  on…We   will  lean  on  our  own.  Carolyn  CusIs  James  This  week  was  full  of  losses.  Material  losses.  Po-­‐ liIcal  losses.  Health  losses.  RelaIonal  losses.  Each   and  every  one  made  my  heart  and  mind  ache  for   relief.  I  felt  like  yelling,  “I  give!”  to  God  so  that   He’d  put  a  stop  to  the  pain  (and  the  losses).  I  so   wanted  to  do  a  rewind  and  replay  for  a  different   outcome  in  each  of  these  areas.  But  as  much  as  I   desired  different,  even  be=er  more  favorable  re-­‐ sults,  I  realized  something.  As  much  as  these   losses  stung,  there  was  something  deeper  amiss   in  my  heart.  A  single  word.  Idols.  From  the  loss  of  the  elecIon   to  some  financial  slippage  to  a  recent  relaIonal   tangle  which  made  me  feel  heartsick  (and  body   sick,)  I  realized  that  in  every  single  one  of  these   situaIons  I  had  made  an  idol  out  of  gedng  the   results  I  wanted  (craved?)  Idols.  As  one  theolo-­‐ gian  said,  our  hearts  are  idol  factories.  We  manu-­‐ facture  one  aGer  another  throughout  our  lives   and  each  Ime  we  do,  they  come  crumbling  down   and  we  look  at  the  mess  in  grave  disappointment   because  we  were  so  hoping  they’d  come  through   for  us  in  a  way  deeper  level  than  they  were  ever   intended  to  do  so.

As  much  as  I  desired  what  I  believed  to  be  right   and  true  and  honorable  results  in  my  losses,  I   also  had  to  admit  aGer  the  fact,  that  it  wasn’t  just   the  mulIplicaIon  of  loss  that  was  gedng  to  me.   It  was  the  accompanying  disappointment.  In  life.   In  myself.  In  God.  I  have  to  conInually  remind  my-­‐ self  that  life  and  losses  go  hand  in  hand  through-­‐ out  this  broken  world.  No  amount  of  hoping,   wishing,  or  praying  otherwise  is  going  to  change   the  fact  that  we  all  live  in  a  dying  world.  But  once   we  accept  that  truth,  our  losses  make  more  sense   and  they  don’t  take  us  by  surprise  so  much.  Loss   upon  loss,  we  need  to  walk  hand  in  hand  with   God  through  it  all.  And  yes,  it’s  sIll  going  to  hurt   and  sIng  like  crazy.  But  God.  Don’t  you  love  that  two-­‐word  phrase?   But  God.  Amidst  the  pain,  the  disappointment,   the  sorrows…there  is  God.  And  where  God   dwells,  there  can  be  peace,  contentment,  and  a   rightness  to  our  world  even  when  everything   seems  to  be  falling  apart.  In  all  honesty,  I  haven’t   much  enjoyed  these  past  few  months  because   the  pain  has  lined  every  moment.  But  God.  There   it  is  again.  That  powerful  biblical  truth  that  trans-­‐ forms  all  my  heartache  into  something  beauIful   (in  me,  through  me.)  No  ma=er  what  my  life  may   look  and  feel  like  right  now…God  is  holding  sover-­‐ eign  sway  over  it  all.  But  God.  Amen! Losses  come  to  us  all.  SomeImes  those  losses  are   our  own  fault.  Other  Imes  we  experience  loss  at   19


the hands  of  others.  OGen,  losses  come  by  no  fault  of  any  person,  it’s  simply  part  and  parcel  of  this  dam-­‐ aged,  sin-­‐ridden  world.  But  when  the  losses  come,  we  have  to  be  prepared.  Each  of  has  to  know  what   we  believe  before  the  storms  hit.  Otherwise,  we’ll  tumble  and  fall  deeper  and  faster  and  farther  than  if   we’d  been  prepared  on  the  inside  of  our  hearts  and  minds.  How  does  one  prepare  for  the  inevitable  without  sounding  like  a  naysayer?  By  becoming  a  student  of   the  Bible  and  rightly  understanding  what  God’s  Word  says  about  life  on  this  planet.  Scripture  clearly   teaches  that  we  will  have  trouble  but  that  we  shouldn’t  let  it  overcome  us.  Why?  Because  Jesus  over-­‐ came  the  world.  That’s  the  good  news!  The  bad  news  is  that  we’re  going  to  experience  trouble,  pain,  and   loss  upon  loss. Once  we  come  to  accept  that  struggle  is  part  of  life,  every  life,  then  we’re  much  more  ready  to  respond   to  life’s  difficulIes  and  disappointments  with  a  grace-­‐laced  answer.  What  does  a  grace-­‐laced  answer  look   like?  One  that  speaks  the  promises  of  God’s  provision  aloud,  out  loud,  by  faith,  and  keeps  on  speaking   out  the  truth  that  God  said  He  would  provide.  Period.  It’s  true,  we  oGen  don’t  understand  why  these   losses  come  to  us,  but  we  can  bank  on  a  single  truth  found  in  God’s  Word  through  them  all.  Those  who   trust  in  the  Lord  will  not  be  disappointed.  He  said  it,  we  need  to  believe  it  before,  during  and  aGer  our   losses.  Takeaway  AcIon  Thought:  My  losses  are  God’s  best  opportuniIes  to  set  me  free  from  the  inside  out. -­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐ADVERTISEMENT-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐

http://www.visionexpansion.com

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Dr Kat Smith As a Doctor of Human Sexuality (Sexologist) and a Certified Love Coach, it is Dr. Kat’s desire to inspire others to embrace the decadence of what love and intimacy has to offer. She has co-hosted a syndicated morning radio program with ABC Radio Networks, Inc., along with a weekly show called A Woman’s Point of View. Dr. Kat’s speaking topics concentrate on relationship enrichment, love and life enhancement. With messages that speak to the hearts and minds of those seeking to understand their internal dialogue and external communication she helps clients to learn to re-parent themselves, rejuvenate and re-purpose their lives. She has authored several books and created programs, games and products to enrich relationships and increase one’s lovability. https://kat-smith.com

Ellen Dolgen Ellen Dolgen, is an outspoken women’s health and wellness advocate, menopause awareness expert, author, speaker and founder of “Menopause Mondays”™. She also is a regular contributor to The Huffington Post and has been a guest on many radio and talk shows. www.ellendolgen.com

Julie Williamson Originally born in the West Indies, Julie is a former spa owner, practicing Reflexologist, published author, blogger and professional website designer. Her latest self-help book, Creating Your Life Plan: Practical ways to manifest a life you can love and enjoy, is the first of her many self-help books to come. www.Passionistas.me

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By Shawngela  Pierce Before  you  can  love  to  be  present,  you  must  first  un-­‐ derstand  the  concept  of  presence.  Being  present  to   me  is  being  grounded  and  rooted  in  the  present  mo-­‐ ment.    You  are  out  of  your  head,  and  literally  in  your   “body”.  You  are  rooted  enough  in  who  you  are  and   your  higher  source,  that  you  can  let  go  of  the   thoughts  in  your  head  and  completely  immerse  your-­‐ self  in  this  moment.  You  let  go  and  allow. When  you  learn  to  trust  in  your  higher  power,  you   intui=vely  understand  that  you  don’t  have  to  control   everything,  you  can  let  go  and  allow  yourself  to   “deepen”  into  the  present  moment.  You  can  truly   love  just  being  there  and  doing  whatever  you  are  do-­‐

ing. You  can  learn  to  love  that  state  of  calmness  and   peace.   In  order  to  love  being  present,  you  have  to  learn  to   let  go  of  thinking  and  thoughts.  You  have  to  learn  to   trust  in  what  is  happening.  Whatever  your  higher   source,  whatever  essence  you  pray  to,  you  have  to   learn  to  trust.  All  religions  and  beliefs  have  that  basic   founda=on  of  trust.  They  have  the  founda=on  that  it   is  taken  care  of.  You  have  been  in  the  mindset  that   you  must  act  in  order  for  something  to  happen.   Okay,  if  you  are  ac=ng  then  act.  But  thinking  is  not   ac=ng.    If  you  are  leMng  your  mind  just  wander  con-­‐ stantly  and  constantly,  this  is  not  doing.  This  is  think-­‐ ing,  whether  it  be  unconscious  or  conscious.  When  

-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐ADVERTISEMENT-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐

http://www.DrBeverlyLSwanson.com

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you are  present,  you  let  go  of  the  stream  of  thoughts   and  you  just  do  what  you  are  doing.  That  is  what  I  am   doing  now.  I  am  wri=ng  this  ar=cle  for  you.  LeMng  go   of  the  thoughts  of  will  they  understand  my  concept,   will  they  get  it,  how  will  I  make  my  point  and  so  forth.   I  am  typing  away  and  leMng  go,  trus=ng  that  the  mes-­‐ sage  has  been  received.  That  is  the  process  of  leMng   go.  Regardless  of  whether  or  not  I  have  experienced   something  similar  in  the  past,  I  can  recreate  myself  in   this  moment.  I  am  this  moment  and  not  the  past.  Rec-­‐ reate  yourself  at  any  moment. If  you  are  trying  to  compare  your  level  of  presence  to   others  and  find  that  most  of  your  friends  seem  to  be   doing  okay  in  their  state,  well  that  is  fine  for  them.  Let   each  person  experience  life  in  the  manner  in  which   they  desire.  You  on  the  other  hand,  if  you  are  finding   a  bit  of  discontent  with  your  situa=on,  then  you  have   a  choice.  You  can  either  subscribe  to  the  “norm”  of   dealing  with  situa=ons  or  you  can  develop  a  level  of   trust  and  learn  to  love  being  in  the  present  moment.   Learn  to  love  handing  it  over  to  your  higher  source.  In   that  way,  when  you  hand  it  over  to  your  higher   source,  you  CAN  be  present.  You  can  just  allow  your-­‐ self  to  “sink”  into  the  moment.  No  worries,  no  fears.

mindfulness and  they  have  helped  me  tremendously   in  grounding  myself.  When  I  ground  myself,  I  can  feel   my  higher  source  connec=on  because  I  am  “out  of  my   mind”  and  “out  of  my  thoughts”.  The  more  I  feel  that   connec=on,  the  more  I  learn  to  trust.  The  more  I  learn   to  trust,  the  more  opportuni=es  in  the  day  I  have  to   be  present  and  not  feel  I  have  to  worry  about  what  is   going  to  happen  or  what  has  happened  in  the  past.  

-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐ ADVERTISEMENT-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐

Listen to The Wellness Journey Radio Show here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thewellnessjourneylive

Learning to  love  presence  will  allow  you  to  experience   this  world  in  more  than  just  the  5  senses.  See  that  is   what  happens  when  you  center/ground  yourself  in   the  present  moment.  When  you  learn  to  be  in  the  pre-­‐ sent  moment,  the  world  takes  on  a  whole  new  per-­‐ spec=ve.  The  crispness  of  your  thoughts,  the  clarity  in   which  you  understand  concepts,  the  release  of  wor-­‐ ries.    It  is  a  very  refreshing  moment.  It  feels  wonder-­‐ ful.  You  let  go  and  you  allow  a  new  way  of  being  to   come  into  your  reality.  You  let  go  and  allow.  Try  it.   Now  learning  to  be  present  is  just  that,  learning.   There  are  many  ways  to  learn  the  process  and  I  feel   medita=on,  whichever  form  you  choose,  is  the  key  to   learning  presence.  I  prac=ce  and  teach  qigong  and  

http://www.askmaryellen.com

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"We can  make  our  plans,  but  the  final  outcome  is  in  God’s  hands."   -­‐Proverbs  16:1

By Susan  Tolles This  verse  has  never  been  more  per=nent  to  my  life.  As  an  adoptee  and  only  child,  I  have  spent  a  large  por=on  of   my  life  in  search  of  my  birth  mother.    This  22-­‐year  journey  recently  ended,  and  in  a  very  unexpected  way. My  quest  to  discover  my  biological  roots  began  in  1991.  As  a  young  mother,  I  had  also  wanted  to  thank  my   mother  for  the  painful,  heartbreaking  decision  that  she  had  made  to  give  me  up  for  adop=on.  My  search  took   many  twists  and  turns  over  the  years,  involving  dead-­‐ends  and  many  volunteer  helpers  called  “search  angels.”   Once  I  realized  that  God's  =ming  was  obviously  different  than  mine,  I  waited  pa=ently  for  a  big  break  and  ac-­‐ cepted  that  His  plan  might  never  include  connec=on  with  my  birth  mother.   Various  scenarios  played  out  in  my  vivid  imagina=on:  Would  she  be  there  with  a  loving  embrace,  or  would  she   reject  me?  Would  she  be  alive?  Might  I  have  brothers  and  sisters  to  bless  my  life?  Of  course,  I  preferred  to  imag-­‐ ine  a  fairy  tale,  in  which  I  would  live  happily  ever  aIer  in  a  close  rela=onship  with  my  birth  mother  and  several   half-­‐siblings. God  chose  to  present  me  with  "the  big  reveal"  in  October  of  2013.  DNA  tes=ng  finally  connected  me  to  several   cousins,  ul=mately  crea=ng  an  indisputable  link  to  my  birth  mother.  So  many  emo=ons  ran  through  my  heart   and  mind  as  I  thanked  God,  in  awe  of  what  He  was  doing.  Why  now?  What  was  His  plan?  Would  I  experience  my   fairy  tale  ending? 24


make it  through  anything  in  the  One  who  makes  me   who  I  am."     Personally,  I  never  thought  I  was  inadequate  or  incom-­‐ plete.  Though  there  was  a  "puzzle  piece"  missing  from   my  life,  I  knew  that  I  was  complete  in  God's  eyes.  Even   if  I  had  never  found  that  missing  piece,  I  would  s=ll  be   content  knowing  that  I  am  His  child.

As I  rapidly  uncovered  more  and  more  data,  I  became   speechless.  My  birth  parents  had  married,  and  I  had   three  full  siblings-­‐  two  brothers  and  a  sister.  My  father   died  in  2004,  but  my  mother  is  s=ll  alive.  God's  bless-­‐ ings:  my  sister's  Chris=an  faith  is  strong  like  mine,  one   brother  is  a  Believer,  and  they  have  welcomed  me   with  open  arms.  His  task  for  me:  my  mother  and  old-­‐ est  brother  reject  God,  and  my  mother  does  not  want   to  meet  me.   A  new  journey  has  begun,  and  I  am  anxiously  awai=ng   God's  plan.  So  far,  the  outcome  of  my  search  has  not   only  brought  incredible  joys  and  tears,  but  has  also   taught  me  lessons  about  myself,  my  faith,  and  my  fu-­‐ ture  outlook.

• Love the  =ming  He  has  for  you.  AIer  ini=ally  search-­‐ ing  for  many  years,  I  acknowledged  that  God  had  a   different  plan,  and  was  able  to  let  go  of  my  obses-­‐ sion  that  ad  developed  through  hours  of  research.   Surrendering  to  His  =ming  eased  the  frustra=on  and   disappointment  that  I  had  felt  repeatedly,  at  each   dead  end.  For  your  journey,  remember  that  God  has    

but I e h c i l c ing to ike a l o g s t d o n n u “It so that you’re il you t n u t n n o r s also lea the right per feel good d r fall fo e yourself an e.”
 ov ar really l out how you son t ab ma Wa ~Em

Our lives  are  comprised  of  many  journeys,  some  of   which  lead  us  to  unimaginable  places.  The  important   thing  is  to  love  each  journey  that  God  has  planned,  to   embrace  both  the  highs  and  lows,  and  to  remain  faith-­‐ ful  during  unexpected  detours.   No  maZer  where  you  are  on  your  current  path,  re-­‐ member  these  things.  

a plan,  and  that  He  has  the  end  in  sight  from  the  very   start.  Be  obedient,  seek  His  guidance,  and  wait  pa-­‐ =ently.  His  =ming  is  perfect.

• Love  the  life  God  gives  you,  and  be  content  knowing   that  He  loves  you.  Discover  the  purpose  He  has  for   you,  fulfill  it  with  gusto,  and  live  a  joyful,  dedicated   life  that  is  pleasing  to  Him.  You  never  know  what  He   has  in  store.  As  Paul  said  in  Philippians  4,  "I  have   learned  by  now  to  be  quite  content  whatever  my   circumstances....Whatever  I  have,  wherever  I  am,  I  can  

• Love  the  outcome  He  provides  for  you,  no  maZer   what  it  is.  My  fantasy  stories  included  neither  full  sib-­‐ lings,  nor  a  mother  who  rejects  both  me  and  God.   However,  I  am  thrilled  to  have  a  sister  to  share  the   rest  of  my  life  with,  and  a  brother  who  has  welcomed   his  new  "big  sister"  with  open  arms.  Even  if  I  never   25


meet my  birth  mother,  I  now  have  the  answers  I   sought  for  over  two  decades.  This  is  how  God  wants  it   to  be  right  now;  this  is  His  plan.     I  am  blessed  beyond  measure  to  have  reached  this   point.  I  have  a  new  beginning,  with  joys  and  surprises   yet  to  be  revealed.    More  than  ever,  I  am  now  open  to   where  God  is  leading  me,  and  to  how  He  will  use  me   to  affect  the  lives  of  others.  It  is  all  part  of  His  plan,   and  I  am  ready  for  the  ride.

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Love is  in  the  Air-­‐and  in  YOUR  Dreams Beware!  Valen=ne’s  Day  means  cupid  is  on  the  loose.   And  he  has  a  way  of  gliding  into  your  dreams  on  si-­‐ lent  wings,  poised  for  the  shot  of  your  life=me.   An  arrow  dipped  in  love  may  be  aimed  at  your  heart.     Have  you  ever  dreamed  about  mee=ng  the  love  of   your  life,  or  dreamed  of  a  deceased  loved  one? 2014  is  the  year  of  the  Green  Wood  Horse  in  the  Chi-­‐ nese  New  Year  which  signifies  a  renewal  of  life,   energy  and  love.  It  is  also  the  mys=cal  number  seven   (20+14=34=3+4=7)  in  the  Western  Culture.  For  ages   the  number  seven  has  been  regarded  as  the  number   of  mystery  rela=ng  to  the  spiritual  side  of  life…  and   dreams.     This  February  is  the  month  of  dreamy  love.   To  dream  about  Valen=ne's  day  indicates  a  new  and   blossoming  rela=onship.  Your  current  rela=onship   may  also  take  a  posi=ve  turn.   Either  way,  your  life  will  not  be  the  same.  It  will  be   beZer.     Buddha  said,  “We  are  what  we  think.  All  that   we  are  arises  with  our  thoughts;  with  our  thoughts   we  make  the  world.”     Your  thoughts  are  connected  to  your  dreams   which  are  filled  with  the  answers  to  your  inten=ons,   including  your  inten=ons  for  love.    Your  daydreams,   prayers  and  medita=ons  can  be  just  as  important  in   fulfilling  your  inten=ons  as  your  night  dreams.     Dreams  are  a  reflec=on  of  your  world  and  can  fill   your  world  with  joy  and  happiness.  

Through  your  dreams  you  can  meet  the  love  of   your  life  or  “passed  over”  loved  ones  returning  dur-­‐ ing  your  darkest  hour  to  remind  you  that  you  are  not   alone  and  that  they  s=ll  love  you.   What  is  inten=on?  It  is  your  desire.  What  do  you  in-­‐ tend  to  change  in  your  world  for  2014  or  add  to  your   life  in  a  posi=ve  way?  Inten=on  is  also  the  founda-­‐ =on  of  reality  and  the  first  step  in  manifes=ng  a   change.  Before  a  chair  is  built,  someone  must  have   the  inten=on  to  build  it,  and  imagine  the  outcome.     Then  the  chair  is  manifested  and  you  can  use  it.    The   same  holds  true  for  your  life,  and  the  love  you  wish   to  embrace.   Your  inten=on  can  be  voiced  as  a  love  request,  desire   or  need.   When  you  voice  an  inten=on  the  Universe  and  your   Higher  Power  is  always  listening.  You  were  born  with   Guardian  Angels.  You  are  their  job  and  they  take  that   job  seriously.  They  are  always  listening.  And  God   never  sleeps.   Dreams  are  doorways  to  heaven.    Answers  to  your   prayers  may  come  in  dreams.    So  how  do  you  set  this  inten=on  in  mo=on  and  reap   the  benefits  in  your  dreams? Here  are  six  easy  steps: 1.)   Before  you  go  to  sleep  tonight  place  a  dream   journal  and  pen  beside  your  bed.   (  a  downloadable  free  dream  journal  is  available  to   you  @  AccessYourInnerGuide.com) 27


2.)  Close  your  eyes  and  IMAGINE  your  life  filled   with  love  and  happiness.  Feel  the  joy.  Does  it  include   a  special  person,  situa=on  or  place? 3.)   Write  your  inten=on  for  this  life  on  a  piece  of   paper  from  your  journal.  If  you  are  having  trouble  put-­‐ =ng  your  inten=on  into  words  fill  in  these  blanks.    “I   _______  intend  to  _______,  for  my  highest  and  best,   and  fill  my  life  with  love  and  joy.” 4.)   Now  place  that  piece  of  paper  under  your  pil-­‐ low  and  “sleep  on  it.”  (Yes,  that  is  where  the  saying   came  from.)  

6.) Watch  for  inten=on  valida=on.    Valida=on  can   come  quickly  or  take  weeks,  months,  and  in  some   cases  years.  However,  you  have  set  manifesta=on  in   mo=on.  Remember,  God  always  hears  in  your  =me,   but  answers  in  heavenly  =me.  Heavenly  =me  is  per-­‐ fect  =ming. If  you  are  having  trouble  remembering  your  dreams   be  sure  to  turn  to  the  Dream  Queen  sec=on  of  this   magazine  and  use  the  six  easy  steps  to  remember   your  dreams  for  a  life  full  of  joy.  Happy  Valen=ne’s   Day  and  may  all  your  dreams  be  filled  with  love.

5.) In  the  morning  write  your  dream  in  your  journal   and  place  the  peace  of  paper  from  beneath  your  pil-­‐ low  in  the  journal  with  it.  

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Susan Tolles Susan Tolles is a Master in Midlife Reinventions, and as Founder of Flourish Over 50, a powerful role model who “walks her talk!” As a professional speaker, life coach, author, and internationallyrecognized expert for women over 50, she is dedicated to inspiring and equipping women of all ages with the confidence and tools to acknowledge their unique gifts, discover their life purpose, dare to realize their passions, and create a future they never before dreamed possible. www.flourishover50.com

Dr. Lisa Anne Matthews, PhD Lisa Anne ‘L.A.’ Matthews, Ph.D. is a Professional Resume Writer and Certified Interview Coach for Top Choice Resumes, L.L.C. Dr. Matthews has helped over 1,000 professionals obtain their career goals. She is an author, radio host, college professor, international speaker, and career strategist who has a diverse background in career consulting. Dr. Matthews is the Career Network Chair for the National Black MBA Association, Inc., Washington, D.C. Chapter (NBMBAA-DC) for over 900 members in D.C., Virginia and Maryland. www.pbergo.com

Rebecca L. Norrington Rebecca L. Norrington is Radio Personality, Author, Speaker, Spiritual Teacher, Fitness Instructor, and talk show host of RealitySpirituality. In June 2013, Rebecca was one of 17 authors contributing to publishing "If I Knew Then What I Know Now: Our Quest for a Quality Life". Rebecca authored Chapter 3 which focused on (1) Defining a Quality Life, (2) What's Important, (3) Life is a Gift, and (4) Forgiveness www.rebeccanorrington.com

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DrBev

Featured Wellness Woman

Tampa, Florida Self-­‐Love:  Showing  your  feelings  and  allowing   yourself  to  feel.  Allow  yourself  to  do  you. I  first  met  DrBev  on  my  show  “ The  Wellness  Journey-­‐ LIVE”.      It  was  an  experience.      I  was  immediately  im-­‐ pacted  by  her  vibrancy  and  brilliance.      She  is  REAL.       DrBev  is  an  Gestalt  Therapist,  a  Mental  Health  Coun-­‐ selor,  Author  and  Entrepreneur.      She  has  the  uncanny   ability  to  get  to  the  heart  of  a  woman’s  pain.    When   speaking  with  DrBev  you  are  suddenly  pulled  into  the   reality  of  how  beauIful  it  is  to  be  a  strong  and  self-­‐ assured  woman.    At  the  age  of  56,  DrBev  says  she  is  con-­‐ stantly  evolving,  learning  and  changing.    For  DrBev  it  is   all  about  finding  and  healing  the  hurts,  digging  deep  to   find  the  true  you,  and  ulImately  entering  into  the  world   of  true  self-­‐love  or  as  she  calls  it  “DrBev’s  World”.

What is  your  definiIon  of  “DrBev’s  World?” D  Bev’s  World  is  a  place  where  there  are  infinite  possibili-­‐ Ies.  It  is  a  safe  place  of  love  and  hope  where  you  get  to   redefine  who  you  are.  You  get  to  totally  redesign  and  re-­‐ write  you.    It  is  place  where  you  can  find  the  true  reality   of  YOU.    Suffering  has  no  place  in  DrBev’s  world.  It’s  all   about  the  whole  person,  mind,  body  and  spirit.  You  get   to  love  yourself  to  life  not  to  death.    It  is  a  place  of  possi-­‐ bility  thinking,  empowerment,  and  being  totally  saIsfied   in  your  authenIcity.      In  DrBev’s  world  you  can  be  fabu-­‐ lously  sublime  in  your  world  of  reality.    “Ummmm  (you   can  hear  the  smile  in  her  voice)  it’s  good!”

Why is  it  important  for  women  to  take  the   Ime  to  truly  love  themselves? I  have  found  that  most  people  lie  to  themselves.    They   say  they  love  themselves  because  ager  all  they  get  hair   done,  nails  done,  shopping  for  clothes,  all  those  self-­‐care   kind  of  things.    Many  think  doing  these  things  mean  I   love  myself.    But  actually,  loving  yourself  is  about  the  in-­‐ terior,  the  bare  bones  of  us,  our  inner  self  emoIon.    Not   the  exterior.    Self-­‐love  truly  means  being  at  oneness.    Be-­‐ ing  at  one  with  yourself  (atoneness).      It  is  more  impor-­‐

tant that  you  are  congruent  inside  and  out  with  your   thought  process  and  believe  of  self.       We  need  to  start  taking  care  of  all  the  stuff  that  we  push   down  into  our  belly.    See  all  those  big  bellies  out  there   these  days?    A  lot  of  that  comes  from  all  the  stuff  we   hold  in  ourselves.      Loving  ourselves  is  about  taking   those  stories  that  are  tucked  in  the  shell  of  our  minds  in   beauIful  large  boxes  with  bows  (where  we  put  our  se-­‐ crets,  lies  and  denials)  and  really  looking  at  them.    We   keep  collecIng  those  boxes  unIl  our  closets;  our  houses   (minds)  are  full.    When  I  think  about  that  I  think  about   the  pain  women  are  going  through.      The  self-­‐hate,  loath-­‐ ing,  that  she  doesn’t  know  she  has.  The  feeling  of  anxi-­‐ ety  she  constantly  has  that  makes  her  say  “Oh,  my   nerves  are  just  bad  today”.   30


Loving yourself  is  developing  coping  skills  to  learn  to  love   yourself  and  deal  with  those  boxes  in  your  closet.   (Then  DrBev  said  something  to  me  about  my  mother  who   has  been  gone  for  25  years)    I  believe  your  mother  is   there  saying  to  you  Lynnis,  “Don’t  weep  for  me  I  am   happy!  I  am  weeping  for  you  baby  girl…”    Your  distrac-­‐ Ions  about  loving  you  are  keeping  you  from  your  zone  of   genius.  That  thing  that  you  were  put  on  this  world  to  do.     Get  your  behind  up  girl  and  walk  around  the  block  and   get  your  mind  right.    In  DrBev’s  world  you  must  feel  your   feelings.    I  feel  my  feelings.    I  walk  around  and  have  a  tan-­‐ trum  and  give  myself  that  love.    Showing  your  feelings   and  allowing  yourself  to  feel  is  ulImately  showing  your-­‐ self  love.  Allow  yourself  to  do  you.    

myself love  first  today”.    Be  ready  to  say  that  today,  “I  am   willing  to  do  for  myself  what  I  have  never  done  for  myself   before”.    Start  today.      Maybe  that  means  you  are  going  to   start  that  exercise  program  today.    Perhaps  you  first  start   with  affirmaIons  about  loving  your  body.    I  pray  for  my   body  every  night.  I  give  it  permission  to  be  sexy  and  be   whole.  I  love  on  me.    I  don’t  expect  someone  else  to  love   on  me.  First  I  but  first  I  give  it  to  me.    I  am  willing  to  do   those  things  that  are  uncomfortable  that  take  me  out  of   my  comfort  zones  in  order  to  keep  that  commitment  to   myself  of  loving  myself.  

How have  you  managed  to  age  so  gracefully?     What  is  your  secret?  

You are  forever  complaining  about  yourself.    Take  a  look   at  those  things  you  always  complaining  about.  Those  are   things  you  have  made  a  commitment  to  have  in  your  life.     If  you  are  always  saying  things  like  “so  and  so  is  always   criIcizing  me”  Stop  and  think  a  minute,  you  are  talking   about  them  not  about  you  You  need  to  start  asking  your-­‐ self  “what  makes  me  want  to  have  someone  in  my  life   who  criIcizes  me?”  Think  about  it.    Go  through  those   things  you  constantly  complain  about.    What  can  you   change?  You  are  now  beginning  the  journey  to  begin  to   love  yourself.    

Self-­‐love!  Loving  myself  more  than  anyone  else  and  tak-­‐ ing  care  of  me.    I  was  not  put  here  to  be  a  Savior.    I  used   to  be  a  vicIm.  I  had  to  flip  that  when  I  went  through  Ge-­‐ stalt  therapy  in  order  to  complete  my  Doctorial  program.       I  had  to  do  five  years  intensive  therapy  from  a  Gestalt   therapist.    They  worked  a  Sister  over!    I  uncovered  all   those  boxes.  I  went  way,  way  back  in  my  closest.    Therapy   helped  me  to  recognize  hurts  and  acknowledge  them.     That  was  big,  heavy  and  deep.  I  went  from  there  and  be-­‐ gan  to  develop  “Dr  Bev;”  I  became  a  reality.    Helping   other  people  find  there  reality  about  truth.  I  am  doing   what  I  love  and  I  get  paid  for  it.    I  try  to  model  what  I  have   learned  and  keep  learning.    This  has  kept  me  vibrant!

What do  you  do  for  your  own  self-­‐care?

What is  your  definiIon  of  a  Wellness  Woman?

What happens  if  you  don’t  love  yourself?

I take  Ime  for  a  lot  of  peace  and  quiet.  I  allow  myself  to   feel  my  ugliest  feelings  things  that  I  don’t  want  to  feel  …   the  bad  stuff.    I  exercise,  I  eat  healthy,  I  recognize  what  my   stuff    is  and  I  also  has  a  therapist,    I  believe    in  therapy.      I   need  that  other  person  who  is  not  so  closely  aWached  to   me  to  have  who  has  a  clinical  eye.  I  let  go  of  those  things   that  are  not  mine.    I  let  go  of  other  peoples  stuff.    I  jour-­‐ nal.  I  do  my  best  to  have  a  balanced  life  because  I  have  a   serious  work  ethic.    I  love  what  I  do.    I  decided  I  wanted  to   rewrite  my  story  a  long  Ime  ago.  I  decided  to  do  what  I   want  to  do  and  get  paid  for  it.  Over  the  last  15  years  I   worked  on  it  and  I  did  it.    Talking  about  stuff  that  I  love   that  comes  so  naturally.    I  don’t  do  shame,  guilt  or  fear,   should  haves…not  going  there.    

How do  you  start  to  love  yourself?  

A woman  who  is  whole  healthy  emoIonally  wealthy  and   free.  In  all  areas  of  her  life. DrBev  is  a  CerIfied  Gestalt  Psycotherapist,  NaIonal  CerI-­‐ fied  Counselor  Florida  Licensed  Mental  Health  Counselor   &  CerIfied  Florida  Qualified  Supervisor,  Philanthropist   and  Humanitarian.  She  is  the  author  “Just  Say  No!”,  Writer   for  “Our  Village”  and  “Our  Sista  ’Circle  Magazine.”  DrBev   is  also  a  Group  Facilitator,  Psychological  Assessor,  Foster-­‐ Care,  Substance  Abuse  Counselor,  Dual  Diagnosis  Coun-­‐ selor,  HIV/AIDS  PrevenIon  and  IntervenIon  Therapist,  In-­‐ carcerated  Male  Psychotherapist,  At-­‐Risk  Children  Behav-­‐ ioral  Specialist,  Hip-­‐Hop  Radio  Therapist,  Psychology  and   Gerontology  Professor,  TransiIoning  High  School  Stu-­‐ dents,  AuIsm  Educator,  &  Public  Speaker.

www.drbevmentalhealth.com

Be willing  to  love  yourself  totally.    Make  a  commitment   today  and  say  “I  will  do  everything  in  my  power  to  show   31


By Julie  Williamson Loving  the  skin  you  are  born  in  can   take  on  an  emoIonal  as  well  as  a   physical  meaning.  The  constraints  of   your  job,  family  and  relaIonships   can  cause  physical  and  emoIonal   draining  which  can  lead  to  a  mental   breakdown  that  individuals  some-­‐ Imes  don’t  realize  exists.  This  can   be  a  terrifying  experience  that   leaves  you  feeling  insecure,  doubsul   and  alone  but  rest  assured  that  you   are  not  by  yourself.
 
 Problems  within  your  personal   relaIonships,  career,  finances,  or   other  feelings  can  cause  a  person  to   feel  exhausted,  distressed  and  wor-­‐ ried.  When  these  issues  become   overpowering,  this  can  cause  an  indi-­‐ vidual  to  become  incapable  of  oper-­‐ aIng  in  day-­‐to-­‐day  life  and  unable  to   manage  daily  demands.  This  can  pro-­‐ gress  into  depression  and  anxiety.
 
 Each  person  may  experience  their   break  down  differently.  Physically   you  might  encounter  an  inability  to   sleep,  a  loss  of  your  desire  to  eat,   overeaIng  and  feeling  lethargic.  UlI-­‐ mately,  the  individual  feels  emoIonally  weak  and  depleted;  your  spirit  and  confidence  become  damaged,   which  reinforces  the  underlying  feelings  of  worry  and  despondency.  For  some,  the  feelings  decrease  when   there  is  a  reducIon  in  stress  and  people  find  be=er  ways  to  deal  with  the  problems.  Others  find  that  their   daily  life  becomes  discombobulated  as  feelings  of  anxiety  and  depression  magnify.
 
 Altering  the  way  we  feel  emoIonally  about  ourselves  starts  with  producing  self-­‐confidence  and  defeaIng   low  self-­‐esteem.  To  change  our  emoIon  involves  altering  two  different  center  beliefs  about  our  self-­‐image.   32


The first  main  belief  is  that  we  think  we  are  not  good  enough.  It  may  have  a  parIcular  relaIon  to  how  we  ap-­‐ pear,  how  intelligent  we  are,  our  financial  situaIon,  or  lack  of  sexual  confidence.  The  depth  of  success  that  we   believe  we  should  have  is  the  second  belief  to  change.  Altering  this  idea  is  contradictory  to  reason,  but  is  a   must  if  we  are  to  conquer  uncertainty  and  increase  our  pride  in  oneself.
 
 I  believe  that  in  order  to  maintain  a  healthy,  happy  life  and  relaIonships  you  must  constantly  grow  and  be=er   yourself.  Character  is  built  when  you  grow  through  experiences  and  boldly  meet  life  with  genuine  intent.  The   first  step  in  personal  development  and  growth  is  taking  complete  responsibility  for  yourself  and  the  results  you   are  gedng  in  your  life.  Once  you  have  honestly  done  that  you  can  define  your  goals  and  purpose  and  make  for-­‐ ward  progression  in  the  areas  you  want  to  focus  on. -­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐ADVERTISEMENT-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐

h(p://bit.ly/1dlfarn h(p://www.1111Mag.com 33


Ultimate Self Love

Putting YOUR Health and Wellness First

By Nakeesha  T.  Harris    -­‐  Cer@fied  Nutri@onal     Consultant  &  Health  and  Wellness  Expert Taking  care  of  you  is  SOOOOO  important.  As  we  dis-­‐ cussed  a  few  months  ago,  how  can  we  take  care  of   others  if  we  are  not  first  taking  care  of  ourselves.   This  =me  we  are  going  to  look  at  the  “not  so  fun”  as-­‐ pects  of  puMng  YOU  first.  

• Discipline First  we  MUST  live  a  disciplined  life.  How  many  of  us   have  said  “I  don’t  have  =me  to  exercise,  I  don’t  have   =me  to  cook,  and  I  don’t  have  =me  to  relax,  when  in   the  world  am  I  supposed  to  pray,  I’m  so  =red!”?  This   is  where  the  implementa=on  of  discipline  must  be-­‐ gin.  Time  waits  for  no  one;  we  must  MAKE  =me  for   these  things.  Even  if  that  means  waking  up  earlier  to   work  out,  or  taking  a  Saturday  to  cook  for  the  week,   a  form  of  discipline  has  to  take  place!  PuMng  you  

first doesn’t  always  mean  it’s  things  you  want  to  do,   some=mes  it  means  doing  things  you  NEED  to  do.   Think  about  children:  the  majority  of  them  prefer   sweets  over  vegetables,  but  we  as  parents  know  that   vegetables  are  much  healthier  and  beZer  op=on  for   them,  so  what  do  we  do?  We  use  discipline,  and   make  them  eat  vegetables  and  allow  sweets  as  an   occasionally  treat  (at  least  hopefully  we  do).    This  is  a   perfect  example  of  not  allowing  what  is  wanted  but   puMng  the  child  first  by  giving  them  what  is  needed!   We  HAVE  to  do  this  for  ourselves.    

• Scheduling Okay  so  now  we  know  that  puMng  ourselves  first   means  that  we  have  to  live  disciplined  lives  and  force   ourselves  to  do  things  that  we  may  feel  we  do  not   have  =me  to  complete.  Now  we  have  to  schedule   =mes  that  we  may  not  like  to  ensure  these  things  are   34


done. You  know  specifically  what  you  need  to  lead  a   healthier  lifestyle  in  every  way  but  here  are  some  sugges-­‐ =ons  that  are  vital  to  a  whole  and  healthy  life:

                             -­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐ADVERTISEMENT-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐

• Prayer

YOUR AD HERE?

A rela=onship  with  God  is  vital  for  a  successful,  joyful  life.  This   doesn’t  mean  our  lives  will  be  perfect  without  any  issues  but   it  does  mean  that  we  are  seMng  a  founda=on  for  our  lives   that  allows  God  to  operate  fully  in  every  aspect.  If  we  build   this  founda=on,  we  are  definitely  puMng  ourselves  first.

• Healthy  EaIng-­‐  less  fast  food  and  eaIng  out   even  if  it  is  healthy

FIND OUT MORE

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Healthy home  cooked/prepared  meals  not  only  are  healthier   and  beZer  for  us,  they  save  money!  In  planning  your  meals,  you  con-­‐ trol  the  amount  of  fat,  salt,  addi=ves,  oil,  and  anything  else  that  de-­‐ pletes  your  health.  Weight  loss  and  a  healthier  lifestyle  in  general  is   70%  food  and  30%  exercise  proving  how  important  it  is  to  not  just  eat   healthy  but  control  your  healthy  ea=ng  by  preparing  it  yourself.  

• Exercise GeMng  the  heart  rate  up  and  blood  flowing  (cardiovascular)  and  burning  fat  to  build  muscle  (strength  training)   are  two  of  the  best  things  you  can  do  for  your  body  and  mind.  Not  only  does  it  add  years  to  your  life,  you  feel   beZer,  you  look  beZer,  and  most  of  all  you  are  puMng  yourself  first!  

• Reading  for  growth What  is  your  passion  or  what  do  you  desire  to  learn  more  about?  Many  =mes  the  answers  are  not  just  on  Goo-­‐ gle  or  television,  they  are  in  a  book.  Take  =me  to  empower  yourself  to  become  a  beZer  you!  (cont’d  on  next   page)  

• Detoxing Why  Detox?    Detoxing  or  removing  toxins,  waste,  other  unwanted  parasites,  and  other  yucky  things  is  key  to  op-­‐ =mal  con=nued  health  and  wellness.  The  kidney,  liver,  and  colon  are  just  a  few  key  organs  that  naturally  oper-­‐ ate  in  our  bodies  to  remove  these  unwanted  items.  Some=mes  foods  and  other  extrinsic  factors  hinder  these   organs  from  opera=ng  accurately.  When  this  happens  and  it’s  =me  for  a  detox!  More  detox  informa=on  on  the   website  www.nakeeshasnutri=on.com   Your  health  and  wellness  is  the  very  aspect  of  YOU!  Take  ac=on  today  and  start  inten=onally  making  =me  to  Put   YOU  First!!!  Remember  it’s  not  a  diet…..it’s  a  lifestyle! 35


By Diana  Lynn  Kohn The  other  day  I  was  standing  in  line  at  the  grocery   store.     The   woman   in   front   of   me   had   two   kids,   a   two  year  old  boy  and  a  four  year  old  girl.  I  know   this   because   she   kept   repeaIng   over   and   over,   “You  guys  can’t  have  gum!  You  are  two  and  four   years  old!”   The   four   year   old   cried.   Not   to   be   leG   out,   the   two   year   old   began   to   cry   as   well.   But   he’d   stop   crying  just  long  enough  to  say  “Can  I  have  this?”   “No”   the   mom   would   say.   He’d   cry   again.   Then   the   girl   would   say   “Can   I   have   that?”   “No”   the   mom  would  say.  And  they’d  both  burst  into  tears   again.   She  looked  at  me  as  if  she  could  cry  herself.  I  gave   her   a   sympatheIc   smile.   “I   get   it.”   (Mom’s   we   get   it,  right?)   But  what  I  really  wanted  to  say  was  “Hug  them.”   Hug   them   while   they   sIll   let   you.   Tuck   them   in   and   kiss   them   on   the   cheek.   Hold   their   li=le   hands   and   most   of   all   try   to   remember   that   sweet  li=le  voice.   I   wanted   to   say,   it’s   hard   being   a   parent.   But   mostly  I  wanted  to  say  enjoy  the  journey.  It  goes   so  quickly.   I   couldn’t   bring   any   of   those   words   up   as   I   feared   my  own  tears  might  come  with  each  word.   As  I  walked  out  of  the  store  I  thought  about  a  giG   my   son,   Kenny,   gave   me   just   the   day   before.   It   was   a   DVD   of   him   from   age   five   to   eight.   It   was   him   playing   baseball   at   five.   It   was   him   playing   basketball   in   the   backyard   at   seven.   It   was   birth-­‐ days  and  roller  skaIng  parIes  at  age  eight.  

I cried   through   the   whole   thing.   My   mind   filled   with  memories  of  my  li=le  boy.  At  the  end  of  the   video  I  looked  over  to  see  a  twenty-­‐three  year  old   man  saying,  “Mom,  don’t  cry.”   Where   did   the   Ime   go?   I   blinked   and   he   was   grown.  I  turned  my  head  and  be  became  a  man.   I   cried   because   I   missed   holding   his   li=le   hand.   But  I  also  cried  thinking  “What  a  journey.”  What   an  amazing  life  I’ve  had  with  this  boy.  He’s  made   me  laugh.  He’s  made  me  cry.  He’s  worried  me  so   sick  to  my  stomach;  I  thought  I’d  kill  him  when  he   got   home.   We   spent   hours   talking   about   everything   and   nothing.   We   didn’t   do   anything   fancy   or   extraordinary   in   our   twenty-­‐three   years   together.  But  we  lived.  We  laughed.  We  shared  a   once  in  a  lifeIme  journey  together.     SomeImes  when  Kenny  walks  out  the  front  door   I  think  it’s  over.  My  job  is  done.  But  the  truth  is,   the  journey  conInues.   I  can  look  to  our  past.  I  can  even  dream  about  our   future.  But  what  ma=ers  most  is,  the  now.  It’s  the   small  moments  that  make  up  a  lifeIme  of  memo-­‐ ries.   It’s   the   small   moments   that   make   our   journey.  It’s  the  now  that  makes  a  life.   As   I   drove   out   of   the   grocery   store   parking-­‐lot   I   began  to  cry.  I  thought  to  myself  “What  is  wrong   with   me?   Why   do   I   keep   crying?”     Then   it   hit   me.   With  all  the  difficult  moments,  with  all  the  fearful   moments,   every   moment…I   might   not   always   see   it,  but  I’ve  lived  a  blessed  life.  And  I’m  loving  the   journey.

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-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐ADVERTISEMENT-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐

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as f l e s r u o ove y , your best L . f l e s your inest work ce, and t p e c c A “ ur f r joy, pea yourself. o Y . e r you a ements, you n you love world mov comes whe ft to the hers t gi healinggive a great at. You give oto love You you do th the same: Roll in when sion to do in self-love. shine.”
 permislves. Revel ou would sun themsesk in it as y die Beattie it. Ba ~Melo

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Kathleen O’Keefe-Kanavos – Dream Columnist Dream Queen-Kathleen O’Keefe-Kanavos is a three- time breast cancer survivor whose precognitive dreams diagnosed her illness that was missed by the medical field. She penned SURVIVING CANCERLAND: The Intuitive Aspects of Healing. She is represented by Steve Allen Media, a phone counselor for R.A. BLOCH Cancer Foundation, Q&A cancer columnist for CapeWomenOnlineMagazine, an inspirational speaker, Living Well Talk Radio Show Host. Watch her videos, TV interviews & follow her blogs & social media sites @ www.survivingcancerland.com & www.AccessYourInnerGuide.com

Sherry Burton Ways, IIDA, CfYH Interior Color Consultant Sherry Burton Ways is the Principal Designer of Kreative Ways & Solutions, LLC a Washington, DC based Lifestyle Interior Design and Coaching Firm. She is the author of the Award Winning book Feel Good Spaces: A Guide to Decorating Your Home for the Body, Mind and Spirit and co-author of the entrepreneur’s guide, The Art and Science of Loving Yourself First. http://www.kreativeways.com

Mary Ellen Ciganovich Mary Ellen Ciganovich is an educator, speaker and writer on the topics of Awareness, Spirituality and how these affect our life situations. She conducts a popular seminar called “Live, Love, and Learn” that teaches people how to take charge of their lives and control their health through the use of medical and alternative choices. www.askmaryellen.com 38


Building Your  Professional  Brand  After  40:  Branding  is  NOT  Bragging Every  company,  business,  and  product  has  a   brand  and  whether  you  believe  it  or  not,  so   do  you.  As  a  career  strategist,  one  of  my   main  objecIves  is  to  help  professionals  ar-­‐ Iculate  their  professional  brands  confi-­‐ dently  and  accurately.  But,  how  does  a   woman  over  40  or  with  25+  years  of  work   experience  build  her  professional  brand  in   2014?  In  a  crowded  labor  market,  how  can   she  make  her  candidacy  stand  out?  The   more  you  can  make  your  brand  uniquely  re-­‐ flecIve  of  your  talents,  giGs  and  experi-­‐ ences,  the  more  it  will  reflect  “Brand  You.”   Do  not  hide  your  age,  your  beauty,  your  tal-­‐ ents,  or  your  experIse.  Whether  you’re   looking  for  work  aGer  a  recent  layoff  or  re-­‐ turning  to  the  job  force  during  your  reIre-­‐ ment  years,  a  job  search  aGer  40  presents   unique  challenges  that  may  seem  daunIng   at  first. My  40+  clients  typically  shy  away  from  the   conversaIon  of  branding.  It’s  hard  for  them   to  conceptualize  a  branding  agenda  for  eve-­‐ ryday  career  professionals  like  themselves.   In  this  economy,  there  is  only  one  way  to   get  potenIal  employers  to  know  who  you   are  and  that  is  by  telling  them.  As  we  get   older,  we  are  so  accustomed  to  being  hum-­‐ ble  and  not  talking  about  our  achievements   to  others.  We  were  brought  up  in  house-­‐ holds  that  taught  us  to  talk  about  ourselves   only  at  a  minimum.  Branding  yourself  leads   to  promoIon.  Silencing  yourself  leads  to  de-­‐ moIon.

Here are  four  steps  that  you  can  begin  im-­‐ mediately  to  help  you  start  the  process  of   professionally  branding  yourself.   1.  Jot  it  Down: Ask  yourself,  “What  do  I  want  to  be  known   for  in  my  professional  career?  What  charac-­‐ terisIcs  do  I  want  my  managers,  co-­‐workers   and  future  employers  to  associate  with  me?   What  are  the  adjecIves  that  I  want  people   to  think  about  when  they  hear  my  name?”   Write  down  your  answers.   2.  Break  it  Down: AGer  you’ve  created  a  list  of  the  qualiIes   that  you  want  people  in  your  professional   realm  to  think  of  when  they  see,  hear  and   reflect  on  your  skills,  you  will  have  a  list  of   your  professional  brand  adjecIves.  Now,   group  the  items  that  are  similar  and  these   areas  will  be  the  foundaIon  of  your  profes-­‐ sional  brand.  You  should  have  at  least  3-­‐4   target  areas.  For  example,  let’s  say  your   background  is  in  Computer  Science,  four   possible  target  branding  areas  could  be:   InformaIon  Technology  Expert,  Technical   Assistance,  Training  Facilitator,  and  Re-­‐ sourceful.   3.  Join  the  Home  Shopping  Network  Team: At  the  age  of  40  or  older,  if  you  can’t  pro-­‐ mote  who  you  are  and  what  you  bring,  why   would  anyone  buy  it?  I  want  you  to  sell  your-­‐ self  as  if  you  were  adverIsing  the  latest  vac-­‐ uum  cleaner  for  the  Home  Shopping  Net-­‐ work.  Go  home  today  and  turn  the  channel   39


to the  Home  Shopping  Network  for  5  minutes  and  observe  a  host.  NoIce  his/her  confidence,  com-­‐ municaIon  skills,  energy,  and  their  product  knowledge.  They  aren’t  saying  that  their  vacuum   cleaner  is  the  best  vacuum  ever  created  or  that  the  other  vacuums  on  the  market  aren’t  worthy  of   being  in  your  home.  No,  the  message  that’s  presented  is,  “Here’s  an  amazing  product  and  I’m  going   to  tell  you  what  it  does,  why  it  works,  what  it’s  capable  of  doing,  and  why  you  should  buy  it.”  Don’t   wait  to  present  your  brand  and  your  worth!   4.  Engage  with  Social  Media: If  you  feel  inImidated  by  new  technology,  ask  for  help  from  someone  outside  the  office.  Experi-­‐ ment  with  new  media  —  Twi=er,  Pinterest,  your  own  WordPress  blog.  The  more  you  try,  the  more   fluent  you’ll  be  in  the  modern  ways  of  the  working  world.  Social  media  is  a  great  way  to  label  your-­‐ self  as  an  expert  in  your  industry.  Online  self-­‐promoIon  will  help  you  make  criIcal  connecIons  that   will  advance  your  career  and  improve  your  networking  experiences. It  takes  Ime  to  build  professional  relaIonships  and  trust.  Put  yourself  and  your  fabulous  40+  pro-­‐ fessional  brand  out  there  and  over  Ime,  you’ll  see  unimaginable  results.   -­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐ADVERTISEMENT-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐

http://www.drlesliebrownmd.com 40


GLUTEN-FREE BUTTERNUT SQUASH TURKEY CHILI By Jennifer  Fugo,  The  Gluten-­‐Free  School This  recipe  is  gluten-­‐free,  dairy-­‐free,  nut-­‐free,  egg-­‐free,  &  soy-­‐free. It  also  can  be  made  vegan  by  simply  adding  in  more  beans  and   veggies  to  replace  the  meat  or  paleo-­‐compliant  by  leaving  out  the   beans  and  adding  more  veggies  and  meat.    Either  way,  it  is  a  total  hit   at  par=es,  freezes  well  and  perfectly  hits  the  spot  every  single  =me. GF  Budge=ng  Tip:  Ground  dark  turkey  meat  is  about  HALF  the  price  of   the  white  and  it  has  way  more  flavor.    

INGREDIENTS

• 1½  lbs  butternut  or  winter  squash/pumpkin,  cut  in   2”  pieces •  1  lb  ground  turkey  (I  use  the  dark  meat.) •  2  large  white  onion,  1  quartered  and  the  other   diced •  4  medium  sweet  potatoes,  peeled  &  cubed •  3  carrots,  scrubbed  and  cut  in  2”  chunks •  6  large  garlic  cloves,  minced •  1  red  bell  pepper,  diced •  6-­‐8  cups  low  or  no  sodium  stock  or  broth   (vegetable,  chicken,  turkey,  beef) •  2  cans  black  beans,  rinsed  well

• 2  cans  black-­‐eyed  peas,  rinsed  well •  1  tsp  paprika •  2  tsp  ground  cumin •  1½  Tbs  sea  salt •  1  tsp  ground  black  pepper •  1  tsp  chili  powder •  1  tsp  ground  coriander •  5  Tbsp  Extra  virgin  olive  oil •  2-­‐3  baking  sheets  covered  with  aluminum  foil  or   parchment •  Optional  -­‐  avocado  chunks

INSTRUCTIONS 1. Preheat  oven  to  400°F  and  heat  broth  or  stock  in  a  pot  unAl  it  comes  to  a  boil.  Then  reduce  heat  &  cover. 2.  Add  all  vegetables  (except  diced  onion  and  red  pepper)  into  a  mixing  bowl  and  drizzle  with  olive  oil  mixing   unAl  everything  is  well  coated.  (Maybe  3  Tbsp  of  oil.) 3.  Evenly  spread  vegetables  out  in  one  layer  on  baking  sheets.  Place  into  oven.  Roast  for  30-­‐40  minutes,  turn-­‐ ing  every  15  minutes  to  prevent  burning.  Remove  once  vegetables  are  tender. 4.  In  a  sauté  pan,  heat  2  Tbsp  of  olive  oil  and  cook  diced  onions  and  red  pepper  for  about  5  to  8  minutes  unAl   soV. 5.  Add  ground  turkey  to  the  pan  and  combine  and  cook  unAl  turkey  meat  is  no  longer  pink. 6.  Once  the  roasted  vegetables  are  ready,  add  them  to  the  pot  of  broth. 7.  Blend  the  soup  mixture  using  either  an  immersion  blender  in  the  pot,  or  remove  the  soup  from  pot  in  stages   and  blend  in  a  food  processor  or  blender  unAl  smooth. 8.  Return  soup  to  the  pot  and  add  in  the  turkey,  beans  and  veggies. 9.  Season  to  your  taste  and,  if  you  want,  add  about  a  half  of  an  avocado's  worth  of  chunks  to  each  hot  bowl  be-­‐ fore  serving.  Enjoy! Notes:  To  cut  down  on  prep  time,  you  can  pre-­‐cut  the  veggies  and  keep  them  in  the  fridge  until  you  are  ready.  You  can  also   roast  the  veggies  ahead  of  time.  Some  grocery  stores  offer  diced  onion  and  peppers  frozen  which  can  be  used  in  place  of  the   fresh  ones  cooked  with  the  turkey.  This  recipe  freezes  well  and  can  stay  frozen  for  up  to  2  months. 41


Red Lentil Soup One of  my  most  favorite  food  items  to  cook  with  is  red  lenIls.  This  recipe   actually  comes  from  a  relaIve  in  Italy  who  kindly  gave  it  to  my  Aunt,  who   then  gave  it  to  my  mom.    Not  only  is  this  meal  easy,  but  it’s  a  total  hand-­‐ me-­‐down  from  across  the  sea!    If  you’ve  never  tried  red  lenIls  (or  lenIls  in   general),  please  give  them  a  try.    Red  lenIls  are  inexpensive,  incredibly   easy  to  cook,  deliciously  nutriIous  and  very  adaptable  to  whatever  flavor-­‐ ing  you’d  love  for  them  to  have. LenIls  are  a  powerfully  nutriIous  legume  with  plenty  of  protein  and  fiber   that  can  hold  up  in  your  pantry  when  kept  in  a  Ightly  sealed  jar.    Please   buy  them  dry  rather  than  the  pre-­‐cooked  ones  in  the  can  since  lenIls   don’t  take  nearly  as  long  to  cook  as  dried  beans.    Red  lenIls  especially   cook  quite  fast  and  make  A  LOT!

INGREDIENTS • 1  lb  yellow  or  orange  lentils,  rinse  thoroughly •  1  28-­‐oz  or  32-­‐oz  can  of  diced  tomatoes •  3  large  cloves  of  garlic,  minced •  1  medium  onion,  chopped •  5  cup  water

• 3  tbsp  extra  virgin  olive  oil  (EVOO) •  1  tbsp  sea  salt •  1  tsp  black  pepper •  1  cup  loosely  packed  fresh  basil  leaves

INSTRUCTIONS In a  large  pan,  sauté  onions  and  garlic  for  about  4  to   5  minutes  or  unAl  onions  are  translucent.  Add  the  to-­‐ matoes  and  1  cup  of  water  and  bring  to  a  simmer. Meanwhile  in  a  separate  pot,  bring  4  cups  water  to  a   boil.  Add  lenAls  and  reduce  heat  to  a  simmer.  Any   foam  that  rises  to  the  top  should  be  skimmed  off   with  a  large  spoon  and  discarded.  This  is  your  “Fart   Foam”  which  is  filled  with  the  waste  from  the  lenAls   that  can  cause  gas  as  they  are  digested.    Cook  lenAls   unAl  they  become  tender  (about  10  –  15  minutes). Once  lenAls  are  soV,  add  tomato  mixture  to  pot  and   season  with  salt  and  pepper.  Adjust  seasonings  to   taste.  Loosely  slice  or  tear  up  basil  leaves  and  cook   for  another  20  minutes  at  a  simmer.  If  soup  becomes   too  thick  for  your  liking,  add  more  water. OpAonal:    You  can  add  cubes  of  avocado  to  each   bowl  before  serving. I  generally  freeze  a  large  container  of  this  in  a  plasAc   container  for  days  when  I  need  something  hardy  to   eat,  but  am  limited  on  Ame  to  cook.    Reheats  easily   and  tastes  just  as  good.    SomeAmes  I’ll  even  add   some  chickpeas  as  well  just  to  give  it  even  more  bulk,   especially  if  I  need  it  to  go  the  extra  mile.

Jennifer Fugo  is  the  founder  of  Gluten  Free  School,  a  website  dedi-­‐ cated  to  teaching  gluten-­‐sensitive  individuals  simple,  savvy  and  em-­‐ powering  steps  to  get  healthy.  She’s  a  certified  Health  Coach  named  a   “Gluten  Free  Guru”  by  Philadelphia  Magazine  who  co-­‐hosts  the  popu-­‐ lar  “Gluten-­‐Free  Sugar  Cleanse”  to  empowers  gluten-­‐free  folks  to  take   control  of  their  diet,  feel  great  and  kick  their  sugar  habit.     Jennifer  is  a  sought-­‐after  expert  about  healthy,  gluten-­‐free  living  as  well   as  a  speaker  who  has  been  featured  on  Doctor  Oz,  Yahoo!  News,   eHow,  CNN,  Huffington  Post  and  Philadelphia  Magazine.  She  hosts  the   popular  "Gluten  Free  School  Podcast"  to  share  eye-­‐opening  health   information  vital  to  living  a  gluten-­‐free  life.   Her  first  book,  “The  Savvy  Gluten-­‐Free  Shopper:  How  to  Eat  Healthy   without  Breaking  the  Bank”  will  be  available  in  February  2014. 42


By Sherry  Burton  Ways It  is  oIen  said  that  your  home  is  a  reflec=on  of  your   personality.  A  few  changes  in  your  home  décor  can   cause  a  big  change  in  your  aMtude  and  is  a  great   way  to  explore  and  love  yourself.  It  gives  you  a   chance  to  indulge  in  crea=vity  and  channelize  your   thoughts.  Our  interiors  elicit  emo=ons  like  happi-­‐ ness,  joy  and  peace  which  truly  equates  to  loving   yourself.   Your  home  environment  should  be  the  place  where   you  place  the  external  world  in  check  and  leave  your   stressors  outside  your  front  door.    Therefore,  the   need  for  a  loving  and  suppor=ve  interior   environment  should  be  paramount  in  your  journey   of  loving  yourself.   When  we  are  fixated  on  decora=ng  our  spaces  based   on  principles  or  crea=ng  an  “energe=cally  perfect   space”  we  shortchange  ourselves.    Why?    Because   society,  HGTV,  and  high  end  design  magazines,  etc.,   tell  us  what  we  should  or  should  not  do  in  our   spaces.

According to  feng  shui  principles,  elements  such  as   colors,  sounds,  and  symbols  —along  with  how  you   arrange  furniture  and  other  items—are  instrumental   in  crea=ng  a  pleasing  loving,  indoor  environment.   When  you  inhabit  a  living  space  that  has  healthy  chi   or  good  energy,  you  can  begin  to  reflect  self  love  and   respect.    Here’s  how  to  create  your  home  into  a  place  where   self-­‐love  abounds.

1. Discover  your  likes  and  dislikes   The  most  important  aspect  of  loving  yourself   through  your  interior  environment  is  to  learn  more   about  your  likes  and  dislikes.  Spend  =me  looking  at   pictures  on  the  internet  and  in  magazines  and  iden-­‐ =fy  your  interior  style.  Follow  your  ins=ncts  and  inspi-­‐ ra=on  and  create  a  home  that  truly  reflects  your  per-­‐ sona.  There  is  no  right  or  wrong  in  interior  design,  it   is  aIer  all  your  home!

-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐ADVERTISEMENT-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐

http://www. godesana.com/index.asp?site=evette

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2. Choose  Colors  that  help  you  feel  motivated What  would  life  be  without  colors?  An  important  as-­‐ pect  of  your  interior  environment,  different  colors  is   linked  with  different  feelings  and  emo=ons.  Pink  is   the  color  for  love  and  promotes  a  feeling  of  comfort   in  erra=c  =mes.   Decorate  your  home  with  accents  of  pink  to  feel  the   love.  Similarly,  orange  is  a  beau=ful  color  to  use   when  you  want  to  feel  younger.  Light  Purple  is  the   color  for  spirituality  and  will  deepen  your  sense  of   gra=tude.  

3. Create  a  gallery  wall   Happy  photographs  will  s=mulate  an  emo=on  of  hap-­‐ piness  and  content.  Print  pictures  from  memorable   events  in  your  life  and  create  a  gallery  on  a  blank   wall.  This  will  give  you  a  reason  to  smile  every  =me   you  look  at  these  pictures.  

Every now  and  then  we  all  need  some  self-­‐ indulgence.  Create  one  such  corner  in  your  home   where  you  can  retreat  to  be  with  yourself.  Choose  a   corner  in  your  home  and  place  a  comfortable  chair,  a   reading  light  and  a  stack  of  books.  Once  in  a  while,   give  yourself  the  liberty  to  cozy  up  in  a  throw  with  a   mug  of  hot  chocolate  in  your  liZle  corner.   Now  is  the  =me  to  create  a  space  that  is  about  the   love  of  self.    It  is  not  your  neighbor’s  space  or  trying   to  keep  up  with  the  latest  design  trends.    It  is  about   the  love  of  self  and  your  place  in  the  universe!     Think  about  what  you  love  about  yourself  and  how   you  can  reflect  that  love  in  your  decor.    What  is  it   that  you  want  to  reflect  about  how  much  you  love   yourself  and  the  love  of  a  suppor=ve  interior  environ-­‐ ment?    Then  GET  OUT  OF  YOUR  OWN  WAY  and   create  a  space  that  reflects  love  and  compassion.    I   promise  you  will  create  the  space  you  “love  with   ease  and  beauty.”

4. Indulge  in  a  cozy  corner  for  yourself   44


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Shawngela Pierce Shawngela Pierce is an educator, author, reiki practitioner, business owner and meditation instructor who specializes in mindfulness meditation and qigong (chee gong). She is an avid meditator and has been practicing for over 10-years. She has a masters degree in the field of education with 3 1/2 years of postmasters education in naturopathic medicine. This includes mind-body therapy, Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), botanical medicine, nutrition, hydrotherapy as well as other healing modalities. She loves teaching, which is something she has done for over 15-years. Her passion for teaching led her to design the Meditation for Health Program. The program is designed to help people utilize the benefits of meditation as well as other holistic lifestyle changes to live a harmonious, healthy and care-free life

Erin Schroeder Erin Schroeder has been dancing for thirty years and has been a choreographer and teacher for adults, as well as children of all ages, for twelve. She is the creator of Global Grooves®, a mind, body, spirit, world dance fitness program that blends moves inspired by dance styles from around the globe. Erin holds a group exercise certification with the Aerobics and Fitness Association of America (AFAA) and is also a Continuing Education Provider through them, offering Global Grooves® Workshops for Instructors. She also has a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Art from the University of Massachusetts@Lowell. In addition to her dance classes, Erin has taught gentle yoga and cardio kickboxing. Her e-book, The Art of Dance Fitness Instruction-Inspiring Your Students into the New Age of Fitness, is now on Amazon. Erin lives in Southern NH with her husband and their 19 mos. old daughter. www.globalgroovesdancefitness.com 46


hop://youtu.be/8afTTFIwFrY

hop://www.SimransBooks.com hop://www.Simran-ツュ窶心ingh.com

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Powerful or  Powerless By  Erin  Schroeder  

Moving Forward  Toward  Wellness  and  Fitness  in  2014

Are you  sIll  feeling  powerful   and  moIvated,  or  powerless   and  uninspired?   Did  you  make  a  New  Year’s  resolu-­‐ =on  about  losing  weight  in  2014,   as  so  many  American  women  do   every  year?  Did  you  start  off  Janu-­‐ ary  with  a  bang,  going  to  every   group  exercise  class  on  the  sched-­‐ ule  and  s=cking  to  your  strict   diet?  I  am  wondering  if  you  are   s=ll  going  strong,  feeling  ener-­‐ gized  and  just  as  excited  about  it   now.  If  you  are,  that  is  fantas=c,   but  so  many  people  start  to  lose   that  momentum  as  early  as  this   month.  Year  aIer  year.  I  have  been  teaching  in  health  clubs  for  twelve  years.  As  group  exercise  instructors,  we   know  exactly  how  our  classes  will  go.  September  and  January  give  us  some  seriously  inflated  egos  with  how   packed  our  classes  start  off…and  then  in  another  month  or  two…let’s  just  say  it’s  the  universe’s  way  of  keeping   that  ego  in  check!  How  frustra=ng  and  depressing  that  can  be,  however,  if  you  are  one  of  those  who  made  the   weight  loss  resolu=on,  with  all  the  best  inten=ons,  but  lost  the  mo=va=on  so  quickly…and  then  are  leI  feeling   terrible  about  yourself.  I  want  you  to  know  right  now  that  there  is  nothing  wrong  with  you.  This  whole  formula   can  be  a  set  up  for  what  feels  like  total  failure,  and  I  believe  there  is  a  beZer  way. We  oIen  feel  that  to  meet  our  fitness  goals,  we  must  kill  ourselves,  beat  ourselves  to  a  pulp,  and  then  starve   ourselves  or  at  least  deprive  ourselves  of  any  enjoyable  food.  What  does  that  usually  feel  like?  A  punishment.  I   don’t  know  about  you,  but  I  really  hated  being  punished  as  a  kid,  so  the  last  thing  I  want  to  do  is  punish  myself   as  an  adult.  Now,  with  that  said,  I  am  not  knocking  a  really  bad  ass  workout  that  empowers  you,  pushes  your   limits,  and  gives  you  incredible  self-­‐confidence,  as  well  as  mel=ng  away  the  pounds…as  long  as  safety  and  listen-­‐ ing  to  your  body  are  a  priority.  What  I  am  knocking  is  this  idea  that  we  aZack  ourselves  in  all  the  physical  ways   possible  (and  possibly  ha=ng  it),  with  no  aZen=on  paid  to  our  minds  and  souls.  I  am  also  not  a  fan  of  prac=cing   48


self-­‐hatred when  we  aren’t  measuring  up  in  our  work-­‐ outs,  skip  one,  or  cheat  on  the  diet  once  or  twice  (and   quite  frankly,  I  am  not  really  a  fan  of  diets,  either).   When  did  such  anger  and  disgust  toward  ourselves   become  the  only  way  to  reach  a  goal?  And  does  it   really  work,  and  if  it  does  at  first,  will  it  s=ck  in  the   long  run,  as  an  overall  lifestyle  change?   Like  a  car  that  needs  a  variety  of  parts  to  func=on  and   func=on  well  (and  we  must  take  care  of  those  parts   on  a  regular  basis),  we  need  to  take  care  of  and  nour-­‐ ish  all  parts  of  ourselves  for  op=mal  living  and  reach-­‐ ing  our  goals.  We  are  not  just  bodies.  We  are  minds   and  souls,  too,  and  they  all  work  together.  If  we  only   focus  on  the  physical  part,  it  will  be  that  much  harder,   and  possibly  a  preZy  miserable  process,  geMng  to   where  we  want  to  be.  We  also  need  to  be  kind  to  our-­‐ selves,  so  that  not  only  is  it  easier  to  make  the   changes  we  want,  but  we  are  so  much  more  pa=ent   and  happier  with  ourselves  along  the  way. If  we  do  these  killer  workouts  (and  keep  in  mind,  you   can  also  do  moderate,  non-­‐killer  workouts-­‐  it’s  really   okay!),  but  never  take  =me  to  nurture  ourselves  in   other  areas,  we  are  missing  part  of  the  equa=on.  We   need  to  take  =me  to  do  the  opposite…to  calm  the   mind,  to  meditate,  or  perhaps  prac=ce  a  gentle  yoga   for  a  good  stretch  and  relaxa=on.  We  should  let  our   crea=ve  sides  take  over  when  we  feel  the  urge  and   paint  just  for  the  fun  of  it,  go  to  the  theatre  or  a  con-­‐ cert  for  entertainment  and  inspira=on,  dance  for  the   pure  pleasure  and  to  feel  fully  self-­‐expressed,  or  read   a  book  that  indulges  our  minds  and  souls.  Taking  a   long  walk  out  in  nature  (not  necessarily  with  the  pur-­‐ pose  to  “workout,”  but  to  become  more  connected  to   the  earth,  the  sun,  the  trees,  the  natural  beauty  that   surrounds  us)  is  a  great  way  to  feed  our  inner  being.   The  act  of  just  playing  with  our  kids…I  mean,  really   PLAYING,  not  only  keeps  us  close  to  our  families,  but   young  children,  especially,  will  always  be  our  remind-­‐ ers  of  what  really  maZers  in  life.  Every  new  thing  they   see  is  a  miracle  to  them,  their  curiosity  is  limitless,  

and laughter  is  one  of  their  top  priori=es.  How  fabu-­‐ lous  it  would  be  if  we  could  only  remember  to  look  at   the  world  that  way  as  adults.  Then,  there  is  just  sim-­‐ ply  being  quiet…stop  doing  and  start  just  listening  to   that  inner  voice  of  wisdom  we  all  have...and  watch   what  you  manifest  in  your  life. Part  of  the  benefit  with  all  this,  is  that  when  we  feed   our  minds  and  souls  with  good  stuff,  we  have  less  ten-­‐ dency  to  feed  our  bodies  with  junk….and  then,  we   tend  to  want  to  take  care  of  our  bodies  in  other  ways,   such  as  physical  movement.  I  s=ll  believe  in  allowing   ourselves  to  enjoy  wonderfully  faZy  foods  some=mes   (life  is  meant  to  be  fun!),  but  we  aren’t  feeling  that   same  constant  need  for  comfort  food  (the  less  healthy   stuff)  if  we  have  filled  ourselves  up  in  other  ways.  We   no  longer  have  that  void  we  are  looking  to  fill. Keep  in  mind,  also,  that  we  are  an  ac=on-­‐oriented  so-­‐ ciety,  which  can  frown  upon  some  of  these  ideas  I  am   talking  about,  but  ac=on  is  all  yang.  Our  quiet,  intui-­‐ =ve  side  is  the  yin.  Unfortunately,  much  of  society   tells  us  that  the  yin  side  is  the  lazy  side.  If  we  are  not   “doing,”  then  we  are  lazy,  and  we  won’t  accomplish   anything  in  our  lives.  On  the  contrary,  the  balance  of   both  yin  and  yang  will  be  the  most  produc=ve  for   reaching  our  goals…so  go  ahead,  be  lazy  some=mes…I  

that y a d every body and g n i h t me ur “Do song toward yoortunity to en is lovi you the opp ions of your gives the sensat 
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dare you!  (and  prove  the  world  wrong…)  We  are  al-­‐ ways  at  our  best  when  we  strike  a  balance,  between   movement  and  s=llness…both  literally  and  figura-­‐ =vely. We  also  need  to  understand  the  power  of  self-­‐love.  A   holis=c  approach  to  taking  care  of  ourselves,  with  the   integra=on  of  mind,  body,  and  spirit,  will  naturally   bring  us  to  a  new  level  of  self-­‐love,  but  I  s=ll  think  it’s   an  important  topic  to  illustrate  further.  Even  as  we   evolve  spiritually,  old  deep-­‐seated  cri=cisms  of  our-­‐ selves  can  s=ll  try  to  creep  in.  Being  aware  of  them,  so   we  can  turn  this  thinking  around,  is  an  essen=al  part   of  the  process.  Have  there  be  =mes  in  your  life,  when   you  were  not  at  your  ideal  weight,  that  you  felt  angry   at  yourself,  beat  yourself  up,  got  depressed  or  even   felt  hatred?  Perhaps  this  was  what  mo=vated  you  to   make  a  change  ini=ally,  but  we  really  need  to  find  a   way  to  dig  deeply,  to  recognize  the  beauty  in  us  wher-­‐ ever  we  are  at  any  =me  in  our  lives.  It  doesn’t  have  to   mean  that  we  don’t  want  to  make  that  change  any   more,  but  we  can  s=ll  love  ourselves  while  recognizing   it  and  going  aIer  the  new  desire.    

piness is  meant  for  you  NOW.  Do  not  deny  yourself.   Your  goals  are  great,  but  you  are  not  your  goals.  You   are  not  your  accomplishments,  the  leZers  aIer  your   name,  or  the  “perfect”  number  on  the  scale.  You  are   YOU.  You  are  whole,  complete,  beau=ful,  and   uniquely  you,  with  or  without  all  those  things....and   you  are  on  this  planet  to  live  joyfully,  enjoy  the   journey,  and  to  love,  not  only  others,  but  yourself.  Lov-­‐ ing  yourself  and  taking  care  of  your  mind,  body,  and   spirit  will  not  only  get  you  where  you  want  to  go,  it   will  give  you  happiness  along  the  way…and  let’s  face   it…happiness  is  really  all  we  ever  wanted,  anyway.   Here’s  to  a  New  Year’s  resolu=on  for  a  new  age  and  a   Valen=ne’s  Day  (and  a  life=me)  full  of  self-­‐love  and   happiness!

Maybe it’s  not  weight  loss  for  you.  Maybe  it’s  some-­‐ thing  else  you  want  to  change.  Whatever  your  goal,   we  need  to  realize  that  life  is  always  a  journey  to  the   next  goal.  That  is  exci=ng  and  wonderful,  and  is  how   humans  are…always  reaching,  ever  changing,  ever   evolving…so,  that  means,  we  are  never  done…just  con-­‐ =nuously  onto  the  next  big  thing  for  ourselves.  Then,   why  should  we  hate  ourselves  or  be  unhappy  un=l  we   get  there?  You  are  only  allowed  to  live  joyfully  when   you  have  reached  your  goal  weight?  You  are  only  al-­‐ lowed  to  feel  happiness  when  you  finally  get  that  Mas-­‐ ter’s  Degree?  You  are  only  allowed  to  smile  when  you   finally  get  your  book  published?   Reaching  the  goal  itself  isn’t  the  key  to  your  happi-­‐ ness.  What  if  it  takes  years  to  reach  a  goal?  Misery  for   three  years  along  the  way  un=l  you  arrive  is  not  what   is  meant  for  you  in  this  life.  Internal  self-­‐love  and  hap-­‐ 50


Featured Wellness Woman Simran Singh Charleston,  South  Carolina   Self-­‐Care:  The  fountain  of  youth  is  simply  pursu-­‐ ing  your  life's  passion  and  dreams... When  I  first  came  across  Simran  Singh  it  was  defi-­‐ nitely  a  divine  appointment.  I  was  on  TwiZer  looking   for  possible  guests  for  my  show  “ The  Wellness   Journey  –LIVE!”  and  I  came  across  this  beau=ful  In-­‐ dian  woman  who  had  a  magazine  by  the  name   11:11.    I  had  never  heard  of  it  before  and  I  immedi-­‐ ately  clicked  on  the  link.  Therein  began  a  glorious   journey  of  becoming  acquainted  with  Simran  Singh   and  her  philosophy  of  life.    To  say  that  she  is  an  origi-­‐ nal  thinker  is  just  the  =p  of  the  iceberg.  She  truly   speaks  from  her  soul  and  has  allowed  her  life  to  be   divinely  led.    AIer  18  years  of  being  in  an  arranged   marriage,  Simran  leI  her  marriage  and  decided  set   to  be  of  service  and  share  with  others  her  very  spe-­‐ cial  message  of  hope.    As  a  result  of  following  her   calling  Simran  is  an  author  of  two  bestselling  books,   “Your  Journey  to  Enlightenment:  Twelve  Guiding  Prin-­‐ ciples  to  Connect  with  Love,  Courage,  and  Commit-­‐ ment  in  the  New  Dawn”  and  “Conversa=ons  With   The  Universe”  She  is  also    the  talk  show  host  of  a  hit   radio  show,  “11:11”,    Publisher  and  Editor-­‐n-­‐Chief  of   11:11  Magazine,  and  a  mo=va=onal  speaker.  She  is   currently  on  a  66  city  tour  to  share  the  message  that   God  has  given  her  that  there  are  signs  everywhere  to   lead  us  along  the  journey  that  God  has  des=ned  us   to  travel.  We  need  only  to  listen…

What do  you  do  for  your  own  self-­‐care? Self-­‐care  is  a  mul=-­‐dimensional  mul=-­‐level  experi-­‐ ence  for  me.  It  is  one  that  is  ever  deepening  and   growing,  as  there  is  no  end  to  the  degree  to  which   we  can  love  ourselves.  Self-­‐care  is  of  key  importance  

in that  love.  Most  do  not  realize  that  our  degree  of   self-­‐care  and  self-­‐love  manifests  as  a  reflec=on  from   the  outside  world  and  its  interac=ons.  How  others   treat  us  is  how  we  treat  ourselves.  In  understanding   that,  we  can  approach  life  from  the  viewpoint,  'I  am   the  only  one  here,  and  everything  outside  of  me  is   showing  up  to  reveal  more  of  me  to  me.'  When  we   do  so,  we  not  only  care  for  the  self,  we  care  for  'all'   of  the  self.     What  if  you  really  are  the  only  one  here  and  every-­‐ one,  everything,  every  experience  simply  appears  for   the  sake  of  allowing  you  to  live  beZer,  love  beZer   and  expand  into  the  truth  that  you  are?  What  if  'all   of  life'  is  conspiring  on  your  behalf  'in  you,  as  you,   for  you,  and  it  is  always  only  good?'   51


I approach  self-­‐care  at  the  following  levels:  Personal,   Well-­‐Being,  Social,  Crea=ve  Expression,  Community   and  Financial.  How  I  handle  and  care  for  myself  will   reflect  in  every  sphere  of  my  life  so  I  am  conscious  of   that  care  in  all  places.  I  inquire  within  contempla=on   'how'  I  am  doing  and  being  through  these  inquiries:

ness we  are.  Self-­‐care  from  these  eyes  sees  the  loving   essence  that  is,  and  nurtures  that  loving  essence  in   the  most  beau=ful  and  present  of  ways.      

Why is  it  important  for  women  to  take  the  Ime   to  truly  love  themselves?

Women are  the  birthing  chamber  for  all  things.  We   •    Am  I  honoring  my  voice  and  expression  in  the   words,  thoughts,  and  acLons  present  in  this  experi-­‐ are  storehouses  of  crea=vity,  fire,  passion  and  radi-­‐ ance.  We  have  a  power  within  us  to  bring  anything   ence,  challenge  and  opportunity?

•  Am  I  loving  my  physical  being  and  my  inner   child  with  my  response  to  what  life  is  offering  and   asking  of  me  now? •    Am  I  listening  to  what  my  soul  is  deeply  calling   and  longing  for  in  this  experience? •    Am  I  witnessing  each  moment  as  a  celebraLon   of  my  being,  in  its  shadow  and  its  Light?   We  mistakenly  approach  self-­‐care  from  the  perspec-­‐ =ve  of  the  human  body,  and  all  of  our  needs,  wants,   desires  and  deficiencies.  In  seeing  self-­‐care  from  the   perspec=ve  of  the  'Divine  Self'  or  'Highest  Poten=al   Self',  we  would  not  only  aZempt  to  take  care  of  our-­‐ selves,  but  actually  do  so  because  the  soul  is  uncondi-­‐ =onally  loving  presence  that  is  witness  to  the  sacred-­‐

into the  world,  and  equally  a  power  to  take  it  out.  We   carry  these  things  in  our  womb  space:  babies,  busi-­‐ nesses,  rela=onships,  socializa=on,  community.  We   have  not  realized  that  the  birthing  chamber  allows   any  and  all  of  its  crea=ons  to  marinate  in  the  essence   that  we  are.  If  we  are  love,  that  which  we  birth  is   love.  If  we  are  wounded  and  in  pain,  that  which  we   birth  will  be  wounded  and  in  pain.  If  we  are  in  denial   of  our  power,  manipula=ve  and  nega=ve,  then  our   crea=ons  and  rela=onships  will  also  be.   The  majority  of  women  on  the  planet  today  are  ei-­‐ ther  single,  divorced,  in  an  abusive  rela=onship  or  a   disempowering  one.  What  this  means  is  we  have   created  a  society  of  wounded  men  that  do  not  know   how  to  love  or  treat  women.  However,  what  we  must   'own'  is  that  we  birth  these  men  and  we  rear  them.   What  within  us  have  these  boys-­‐to-­‐men  marinated  

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in? How  have  we  taught  them  to  treat  us?  What  im-­‐ prints  do  we  pass  onto  our  daughters  that  keep  the   cycles  of  pain  and  disempowerment  con=nuing?  Our   sons  and  daughters  have  learned  by  siMng  in,  watch-­‐ ing,  feeling  and  hearing  how  we  treat,  speak  and  care   for  ourselves.   We  can  only  receive  from  others  what  we  give  to  our-­‐ selves.  We  can  only  give  to  another  what  we  have  the   ability  to  receive.  In  learning  to  love  ourselves,  we   step  from  the  place  of  disempowering  and  dishonor-­‐ ing  ourselves  to  empowering  and  honoring  ourselves.   What  needs  to  heal  within  each  one  of  us  to  bring   about  the  new  paradigm  the  world  is  now  calling  for?   It  will  only  happen  through  women  at  the  point  which   we  love  ourselves  enough  to  be  the  change.

How have  you  managed  to  age  so  graceful-­‐ ly?  What  is  your  secret? I  have  found  the  fountain  of  youth  and  it  is  not  in  a   tube  of  botox,  an  energy  drink,  a  faceliI  or  extreme   workout.  It  is  quite  simple.  I  have  followed  my  deep-­‐ est  heart's  passions.  When  we  truly  listen  to  the  deep   callings  of  our  hearts  and  allow  them  to  come  forth,   especially  when  they  seem  crazy,  foreign  or  unbeliev-­‐ able...  we  release  the  child  essence  from  within  each   cell  of  the  physiology.  There  is  an  aliveness  that  sets   in  which  is  fully  free.  This  excitement  and  zest,  in  devo-­‐ =on  to  the  unknown  self,  is  the  secret  to  an=-­‐aging.   Too  many  of  us  have  goZen  locked  into  conformity   and  replica=on  of  society.  We  have  cast  aside  our   dreams  for  another  day  that  never  comes.  Dive  into   your  crea=ve  capacity  and  allow  the  flowering  of  your   unique  genius.  In  doing  so,  you  will  see  the  reflec=on   of  that  youthful  passion  in  the  mirror.    

What are  ways  that  you  show  yourself  love?            I  offer  that  love  is  not  a  doing,  but  a  being.  We  have  

been taught  what  love  looks  like,  or  how  it  is  sup-­‐ posed  to  feel.  However,  few  of  us  experience  it  in  its  

true essence.  Love  is  actually  a  field;  it  is  everything,   everywhere  all  around  us.  We  are  'in'  Love  all  the   =me.  We  are  'of'  Love  always.  We  are  forever  'with'   Love.  We  simply  need  be  'as'  Love  in  every  moment.   In  'being  so,  every  thought,  feeling,  word  and  ac=on   reveals  Love  to  the  self  and  all  others.  Being  present   to  this  Love  ...  Being  devoted  to  the  expression  of  this   Love  ...  Being  engaged  in  the  experience  of  this  Love  is   the  knowing  that  we  are  Love,  the  Lover  and  the  Be-­‐ loved.  And  then,  it  is  not  a  'show'...  it  is  the  truth.   


What is  your  definiIon  of  a  Wellness  Woman?          A  'Wellness  Woman'  is  someone  who  is  willing  to  

be radically  honest  with  themselves.  She  is  willing  to   do  the  inner  work  required  to  reach  the  greatest  state   of  authen=c  expression  available.  She  does  not  com-­‐ promise  her  integrity,  her  value  or  her  voice.  She  rec-­‐ ognizes  that  she  is  beau=ful  in  both  her  shadow  and   her  Light.  She  does  not  judge,  cri=cize  or  doubt  her-­‐ self.  A  'Wellness  Woman'  realizes  she  is  in  her  greatest   power  when  she  is  in=mate,  vulnerable,  transparent   and  open.  Her  power  is  in  her  presence;  it  is  not  de-­‐ pendent  on  her  doing.  A  'Wellness  Woman'  honors,   recognizes,  appreciates  and  values  all  others  as  her   equal,  fully  knowing  that  each  one  of  us  is  uniquely   special.     hZp://simran-­‐singh.instantmediakit.com  Simran  Singh  -­‐  author,  crea=ve  visionary,  transforma-­‐ =onal  catalyst,  and  Rebel  Humanitarian  -­‐  is  Publisher   of  the  Nau=lus  Award–Winning  11:11  Magazine,  the   only  publica=on  to  have  ever  been  granted  this  desig-­‐ na=on,  and  number-­‐one  rated,  11:11  Talk  Radio  show   host.  Having  no  interest  in  being  teacher  of  Guru,  Sim-­‐ ran  invites  people  to  stand  with  her  as  ‘Examples  of  a   New  World  Paradigms’.  Simran  is  the  author  of  Conver-­‐ sa=ons  With  the  Universe  and,  her  latest,  Your   Journey  to  Enlightenment.  Find  out  more  at   www.SimransBooks.com    &    www.Simran-­‐Singh.com    

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Karen Wells, M.Div Karen Wells holds a Master of Divinity, majoring in Marriage and Family Counselling. She is the founder of Karis Counselling Services, with one aspect of the counselling service devoted to helping women regain the power they've lost because of a past traumatic experience. Karen wants to give women HOPE. Life is too short to be stuck in your past. She wants every woman to know God has exciting plans for them. As a globally-minded woman, Karen offers her services by telephone, Skype/webcam, and webinar. As well as hosting her own Woman To Woman radio show, she teaches online and in-person workshops, speaks at conferences, churches, and retreats. She has authored two books entitled, “Even With My Knees Knocking I Will Follow God’s Call” and “UnHooked! 7 Steps To Emotional Freedom”. www.unhooked7stepstoemotionalfreedom.com

Alx Utterman Since 2000, accomplished teacher & healer Alx Uttermann has been conducting healing workshops & trainings in a wide array of practical healing techniques & spiritual knowledge from ancient India. From Singapore to California, she's facilitated hundreds of workshops, classes, satsangs, ceremonies & other healing events. She co-founded UCBK (The Universal Church of Baba’s Kitchen) in 2007, in Santa Cruz, CA. UCBK is a spiritual healing center open to anyone from any spiritual path or none at all, training advanced healers and helping the homeless & veterans get access to support & healing. Over many years of intensive study at Sri Kaleshwar's Soul University in Penukonda, South India, Alx gained an in-depth understanding of the stresses facing human beings, and the spiritual medicine that dissolves them. Her on-going research & expertise lie in effectively healing the underlying root of suffering, as well as the many symptoms of suffering (such as depression, anxiety, chronic health problems, heartbreak, grief, PTSD, anger issues and addictions). She’s available for consultation & healing sessions via Skype or phone, as well as in-person in Los Angeles, CA. You can find out more about Alx's diverse work at http://about.me/alxuttermann 54


By Ellen  B.  Dolgen

Forget youth.  I  want  to  get  old.   Aging  has  become  something  of  a  four-­‐leZer  word  to   women.  Ask  me  what  it  stands  for,  though,  and  I’ll   tell  you  “G-­‐I-­‐F-­‐T!”  Aging  with  our  friends  and  family   is  the  greatest  giI  for  which  we  can  ever  ask.  But  un-­‐ like  jewelry  and  flowers—a  long  life  is  a  giI  that  only   we  can  give  ourselves!   It’s  a  giI  that  I  added  to  my  life’s  wish  list  at  the  age   of  13,  aIer  my  father  had  his  first  heart  aZack.  He   was  in  his  mid-­‐for=es.  My  father  passed  away  at  the   young  age  of  58  from  heart  disease.   But  with  the  right  perspec=ve,  I  believe  good  can   come  from  the  hardships  of  life.  For  me,  the  good   was  learning  to  value  the  precious  =me  I  have  here   on  Earth  with  the  people  I  love—and  doing   everything  in  my  power  to  ensure  myself  as  many  of   those  days  as  I  can.  Ralph  Waldo  Emerson  believed,   “The  first  wealth  is  health.”  And  in  striving  for  health,   I  believe  I  have  gained  the  wealth  of  vitality,  happi-­‐ ness,  and  peace.  To  me,  that  is  aging  gracefully  and   wisely.   During  menopause,  many  women  become  self-­‐ cri=cal,  striving  to  look  like  the  prepubescent  teen   models  you  see  in  glossy  magazines.  Instead,  I  am   focusing  my  efforts  on  my  health  and  wellbeing.  And   while  I  have  long  ago  banned  horizontal  stripes  from   my  closet,  and  on  occasion  have  looked  in  shock  at   the  morphing  skin  on  my  aging  knees,  I  know  that   expec=ng  myself  to  look  like  I  did  in  my  twen=es   would  just  be  seMng  myself  up  for  disappointment.   It  would  cheat  me  out  of  the  joy  I  deserve.  Every  day   we  are  alive,  we  age.  Age  and  =me  provide  us  with   more  opportuni=es,  not  less!  As  we  age  we  have   more  of  a  chance  to  love  and  be  loved.  The  longer   we  live,  the  greater  the  opportunity  to  expand  our   vision  of  the  “possible”  and  reach  out  and  grab  it.   Ready  to  feel  your  best?  Here  are  my  top  =ps  for  ag-­‐ ing  gracefully  during  menopause:

1. Love  yourself.  You  are  beau=ful  just  the  way  you   are.  So  start  telling  yourself  that!  As  Vivian  Diller,   Ph.D.,  a  ballerina  and  model  turned  psychotherapist   and  author  of  Face  It,  shared  with  me  in  an  inter-­‐ view,  “Women  who  maintain  an  internal  dialogue   with  themselves  and  their  mirrors  that  is  kind  and   gentle  can  maintain  high  self-­‐esteem  at  any  age.   They  are  less  self-­‐cri=cal  and  more  accep=ng  of   change.”  I  suggest  keeping  a  gra=tude  journal  at  your   bedside.  Each  night  before  you  go  to  sleep,  write   down  what  you  experienced  and  achieved  that  day   for  which  you  are  grateful.  By  focusing  on  the  posi-­‐ =ves  of  the  aging  process,  you  can  start  loving  your   aging  self  more.  2.  Shed  your  inhibi=ons.  “Women  always  try  to   tame  themselves  as  they  get  older,  but  the  ones  that   look  best  are  oIen  a  bit  wilder.  Thinking  about  age   all  the  =me  is  the  biggest  prison  women  can  make   for  themselves,”  Miuccia  Prada  once  said.  And  I   don’t  think  that  could  be  any  truer.  At  this  point  in   our  lives,  we  have  earned  the  right  to  go  wild.  So  let   your  hair  down  and  stop  worrying  what  is  “age  ap-­‐ propriate.”   3.  Be  an  informa=on  sponge.  The  more  you  learn   about  menopause  and  your  health,  the  more  power   you  have  to  control  the  way  you  look  and  feel.  When   perimenopause  came  my  way,  I  wasn’t  going  to  la-­‐ ment  the  aging  process  I  took  a  proac=ve  approach.  I   consulted  with  specialists,  I  read  all  I  could  on  the   55


subject, and  I  began  to  learn  about  the  more  than  33   symptoms  associated  with  menopause.  That  was   when  the  concept  or  my  book,  Shmirshky:  The  Pur-­‐ suit  of  Hormone  Happiness,  was  born.  Understand-­‐ ing  my  body—and  all  of  the  incredible  changes  it   goes  through—has  allowed  me  to  feel  happier  and   healthier  in  my  own  skin.   Remember  that  “knowledge  is  power”  mantra?  It’s   cliché  because  it’s  true.  So  be  proac=ve.  Find  a  meno-­‐ pause  specialist  near  you  to  help  you  manage  your   health  and  symptoms.  You  can  also  sign  up  for  my   Menopause  Mondays  newsleZer  and  receive  a  free   downloadable  menopause  symptoms  chart.  

know t o n d er di or your fah t o m r , u “If yo love herself how to lovesihow to id not knowuld be impos ther d, then it wo each you to e h himself or them to twere doing tey ble f self. They h what th it ur ren.”
 love yothey could w d l i h c s best ught a . Hay a t n e e L had b Louise

~

Whatever you  do,  you  won’t  be  good  unless  you   first  feel  good... -­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐ADVERTISEMENT  -­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐

http://25poundsdown.com/bhaprogram/

GO:hop://www.myagla.com/lashondraellioo/

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By Dr.  Kat  Smith When  focusing  on  our  love  rela=onships,  we  tend  to   leave  it  all  to  chance.  We  hope  we  meet  the  man  of   our  dreams  and  we  make  a  list    of  physical,  charac-­‐ ter,  moral  and  financial  criteria  that  he  needs  to  pos-­‐ sess.  But,  do  we  really  have  the  ability  to  bring  our   desires  to  life?  Well,  yes  we  do  and  to  help  you  real-­‐ ize  what  you  desire  we  are  going  to  examine  our   views  on  love,  da=ng  and  romance  or  what  I  call   your  Love  Perspec=ve. OUR  LOVE  PERSPECTIVE  is  influenced  by  many   things.  One  being  nega=ve  beliefs.  For  example,  be-­‐ ing  told  we  are  not  aZrac=ve  or  intelligent.   However,  there  are  other  factors.    Our  Love  Perspec-­‐ =ve  is  formed  from  experiences,  beliefs,  thoughts   and  by  observing  others.  Here  are  a  few  factors  that   have  molded  and  shaped  those  views: 1.  Family:  The  lessons  or  examples  of  love,  affec=on   and  sex  experienced  in  our  family  seMng  is  the  foun-­‐ da=on  of  our  views.  How  our  parents  expressed  af-­‐ fec=on  and  in=macy  has  a  direct  affect  on  how  we   do  the  same  in  adulthood.

beo t s i truth begin to e h t l l “To tebeautiful, toe yourself. come ourself, valu cal, in its love y that’s politi way.”
 And und o f o r p most June Jordan ~

2. Community:  We  have  all  heard  that  it  takes  a   village  to  raise  a  child,  and  that  is  so  true,  however   the  village  itself  has  to  embody  the  loving  nurturing   quali=es  that  will  afford  the  child  to  grow  up  with   healthy  perspec=ves  of  love,  in=macy,  sex  and   rela=onships. 3.  Religion:  A  major  factor  in  how  we  view  the  physi-­‐ cal  expression  of  love  as  it  leads  to  marriage  and   family  is  highly  influenced  by  our  religious  choices   or  prac=ces. 4.  Ethnicity/Na=onality:  Cultural  beliefs,  ceremo-­‐ nies,  tradi=ons,  gender  status  and  restric=ons,  preju-­‐ dices,  social  and  media  implica=ons  and  entertain-­‐ ment  all  play  a  part  in  what  we  believe  and  incorpo-­‐ rate  in  our  love  prac=ces. Thankfully,  these  are  not  factors  that  cannot  be  al-­‐ tered  or  changed  so  that  we  can  go  on  to  create   healty  loving  rela=onships.  Now  here  is  were  a  vi-­‐ sion  of  love  comes  into  play.   57


Anything that  has  ever  been  created  by  an  individual   has  first  developed  as  an  idea  or  a  wish.  Begin  with   imagining  the  type  of  rela=onship  you  want  to  be  a   part  of.  Visualize  the  sensory  details  of  the  person  you   want  to  be  in  love  with  and  how  you  would  like  them   to  interact  with  you,  love  you  and  how  you  wish  to  ex-­‐ press  your  love    to  them. Love  is  sensory  so  this  should  be  easy  to  do.  As  chil-­‐ dren  we  imagined  ourselves  as  villains,  heros  and   other  characters,  so  image  the  kind  of  love  you  would   like  to  experience.  You  are  plan=ng  the  seeds  of  love.     Allow  your  vision  to  change  and  evolve  as  you  work   on  yourself. Tale  some  =me  and  close  your  eyes  and  see  yourself   in  a  place  that  you  would  like  to  share  with  your  lover.   See  it  like  a  movie  trailer.  Enjoy  the  experience  you   are  crea=ng  by  bringing  into  vision,  the  kind  of  lover   you  desire.  Give  them  a  body,  hair  color,  eye  color,   height,  style  of  dress,  etc.   See  your  surroundings  and  what  you  hear.  What  is   your  lover  saying  to  you?  Hear  the  laughter.  Is  your   seMng  on  a  travel  des=na=on  and  you  hear  sounds  of   nature,  waves  from  a  beach?  Fully  experience  what   you  hear. Feel  the  temperature  in  your  vision?  Feel  their  em-­‐ brace.  Their  kisses.  Taste  the  wine  or  dinner  you  are  

enjoying in  this  vision.  How  do  you  feel?  Relaxed,  con-­‐ tent?   When  you  open  your  eyes,  write  out  what  your  visual   experience  with  all  the  sensory  details.  You  can  start  a   journal  or  create  a  vision  board.  Here  are  some  =ps  to   crea=ng  a  vision  of  love  board:

• Purchase a  large  poster  or  foam  board • Collect  images  from  magazines,  newspapers,  on-­‐ line,  gredng  cards,  flyers,  etc.,  that  resemble  the   look  and  feel  of  your  love  vision. • Cut  them  out  and  apply  them  to  the  board  with   a  glue  sIck • You  may  want  to  use  quotes  that  add  to  how  you   want  love  to  feel  and  be  expressed. • Use  paints,  colored  markers  or  sharpies  to  add   your  own  quotes  or  statements  that  reflect  what   you  desire  in  a  relaIonship. Crea=ng  a  vision  of  love  is  only  one  what  to  embrace   and  cul=vate  the  kind  of  love  experience  you  wish  to   have  in  your  life.  Imagina=on  and  imagery  are  impor-­‐ tant  because  they  support  your  vision.  If  you  can  con-­‐ ceive  it  you  can  manifest  it.  Create  the  love  you   desire,  by  applying  your  vision  of  love  and  what  it   come  to  life.

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Dr. Laurie Andreoni Laurie Andreoni is a Doctor of Chiropractic. After practicing for 15 years she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She lost all of her hair as part of her cancer treatment and found it difficult to disguise the loss of her hair. It was through this experience that she came across the idea of wearing turbans. As a result she founded of Waking Dream Designs, Inc., home of Titillating Turbans®. She is also the author of “Heads Up on Hair Loss: 12 Tips for Head to Toe Care and Coverings.” You can shop and/or receive a free download of the ebook on her website. http://www.TurbanDiva.com 

Sue Ingebretson Sue Ingebretson is an author, speaker, certified holistic health care practitioner and the director of program development for the Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain Center at California State University, Fullerton. She is also a Patient Advocate/Fibromyalgia Expert for the Alliance Health website and a Fibromyalgia editor for the ProHealth website community. Her #1 Amazon best-selling chronic illness book, FibroWHYalgia, details her personal journey from chronic illness to chronic wellness. Her feature appearances include FIRST for Women magazine (2010, 2013), Know the Cause syndicated health TV program, KABC radio, and various other US and UK publications. She is also the creator of the FibroFrog™- a therapeutic stress-relieving tool which provides powerful healing benefits with fun and whimsy. http://www.RebuildingWellness.com 59


By Sue  Ingebretson I’m  so  very  grateful  for  loving,  suppor=ve,  and  nurtur-­‐ ing  media  publica=ons  such  as  the  Wellness  Woman.   It’s  sa=sfying  to  be  able  to  explore  topics  such  as   health  and  healing  in  an  environment  where  like   minds  gather. It’s  my  hope,  however,  that  this  ar=cle  will  s=r  you   up  a  bit.  I  hope  it  makes  you  think.  At  least,  I  hope  it   makes  you  think  of  an  old  subject  in  a  new  and   slightly  unexpected  way.

This arIcle  is  about  sesng  prioriIes…   and  sesng  joy  as  one  of  them. JOY  happens  to  be  one  of  my  favorite  words.  I  love   bel=ng  out  (of  course  all  four  verses!)  of  Joy  to  the   World  in  Advent  season.  I  even  successfully  lobbied   for  its  use  when  it  came  =me  to  name  my  first  grand-­‐ child. Joy  comes  to  mind  when  discussing  priori=es  be-­‐ cause  of  the  familiar  adage  many  of  us  learned  as   children  in  Sunday  School.  J.O.Y.  teaches  us  how  to   priori=ze  our  lives:   #1  Jesus #2  Others #3  You

Can you  imagine  someone  being  offended  by  the  pri-­‐ ori=es  as  listed  above?  It  may  surprise  you  to  know   that  some  feel  anger,  frustra=on,  and  even  biZerness   when  reminded  of  this  precept.  You  see,  while  the   intent  of  the  numbered  list  above  is  good,  some-­‐ =mes  the  meaning  gets  a  bit  skewed Here’s  where  some  of  us  get  this  priority  list  half   wrong:   Item  #1  is  clear.  It’s  easy  to  understand  that  nurtur-­‐ ing  our  spiritual  rela=onships  comes  first.  But  then   things  start  to  unravel.  What  about  item  #2?  Caring   for  others  is  a  full-­‐=me  task.  There’s  always  someone  

to care  for.  It  begins  with  family,  neighbors  and  con-­‐ grega=on,  and  then  the  surrounding  community  at   large.  There’s  no  end  to  the  organiza=ons  that  need   our  volunteer  =me  and  assistance.   For  this  reason,  geMng  to  item  #3  is  more  of  a  de-­‐ fault  than  an  inten=on.  Many  of  us  who  have  a  ser-­‐ vant’s  heart  feel  that  we’re  taking  away  from  some-­‐ one  in  need  if  we  do  something  –  anything  -­‐-­‐  for  our-­‐ selves.  Caring  for  ourselves  only  happens  as  a  last  re-­‐ sort  or  an  aIerthought.  If  you  fall  into  this  category,   this  may  sound  familiar.  You’d  only  spend  two  days   “relaxing”  at  home  if  you  were  feverish  and  immobi-­‐ lized  with  the  flu.     Here’s  where  some  of  us  get  this  priority  list  all   wrong: 60


Others take  the  priori=za=on  listed  above  one  step  fur-­‐ ther.  Instead  of  rarely  finding  =me  for  themselves,   they  somehow  twist  the  no=on  of  self-­‐care  into  a   nega=ve  or  derogatory  concept.  People  in  this  group   find  self-­‐care  prac=ces  to  be  foreign  and  even  sus-­‐ pect.  They’d  never  be  able  to  “earn”  or  “deserve”   =me  for  self-­‐care  prac=ces.  They  don’t  believe  their   needs  should  be  last  …  they  believe  they  shouldn’t   have  needs  at  all. Children  raised  in  this  environment  tend  to  grow  up   with  beliefs  of  unworthiness.  They  may  act  out  on   these  no=ons  and  direct  their  fears  and  resentments   toward  others  or  themselves.   Perhaps  you  have  more  of  these  tendencies  than  you   think?   When  was  the  last  =me  that  you  took  at  least  an  aIer-­‐ noon  off  to  lounge  or  do  something  fun?  And,  even   more  telling  …  would  you  feel  guilty  if  you  lounged?

In this  new  light,  take  another  look  at  the  acronym  of   J.O.Y.  No=ce  that  YOU  are  on  the  list.  Last  does  not   mean  not  at  all.  You  are  important  enough  to  make   your  self-­‐care  prac=ces  a  priority.   Crea=ng  lifestyle  balance  begins  with  establishing   daily  prac=ces  of  self-­‐care.   The  following  steps  provide  just  a  few  fundamental   sugges=ons  on  how  to  begin  your  own  healing   journey.  

Five Simple  Steps  to  Self-­‐Care  Success Self-­‐Care  AcIvity  #1  –  Implement  Daily  Prayer/ MeditaIon Prayer  and  medita=on  can  provide  a  strong  spiritual   connec=on  that  gives  us  a  sense  of  belonging  -­‐-­‐  a   sense  of  iden=ty.

The reason  this  topic  is  near  and  dear  to  my  heart,  is   that  I  suffered  the  cost  of  this  way  of  thinking.  I  did   put  everyone  else  first.  I  burned  the  candle  at  both   ends.  As  a  mother  of  three,  I  worked  mul=ple  jobs,   went  to  school  part-­‐=me,  and  was  completely  im-­‐ mersed  in  many  church  ac=vi=es.  If  a  volunteer  was   needed,  my  hand  went  up.  I  had  no  understanding  of   seMng  personal  boundaries  or  limita=ons.

It takes  =me  to  develop  medita=ve  skills,  but  the  bene-­‐ fits  include  a  deeper  sense  of  relaxa=on,  reduced   blood  pressure,  a  stronger  immune  system,  healthier   diges=on,  and  improved  anxiety  levels.  Pain  relief   (among  other  symptom  improvements)  can  be  a  wel-­‐ comed  side  effect  of  both  prayer  and  medita=on.

But when  my  health  declined,  I  didn’t  have  the  =me   to  no=ce  the  onset  of  symptoms.  I  con=nued  to  “do  it   all”  and  believed  by  increased  fa=gue  was  jus=fied.   AIer  all,  aren’t  all  moms  =red?

This is  so  fundamental  it’s  easily  overlooked.  Water  is   a  vital  nutrient!  Simple  dehydra=on  symptoms  can  be   mistaken  for  complica=ons  of  more  serious  condi-­‐ =ons.  Stay  properly  hydrated  and  you  may  experience   symptom  reduc=on  or  relief  right  away.

It wasn’t  un=l  my  pain  brought  me  to  my  knees  (liter-­‐ ally)  that  I  started  to  pay  aZen=on. Chronic  illness  was  allowed  a  foothold  in  my  life  be-­‐ cause  I  wasn’t  looking.  Being  brought  to  your  knees   can  be  a  good  thing,  but,  wouldn’t  it  have  been  beZer   if  I’d  listened  to  my  body  sooner?  Unfortunately,  I’m   not  alone.  I  see  this  same  scenario  over  and  over  with   clients.  Women,  specifically,  fail  to  put  their  own   needs  high  enough  on  their  priority  list  to  get  aZen-­‐ =on.

Self-­‐Care AcIvity  #2  -­‐  Drink  Water

Self-­‐Care AcIvity  #3  –  Breathe  Deeply There  are  a  lot  of  ways  to  mi=gate  the  feelings  of   “stressed  out”  but  none  are  as  simple  and  primary  as   deep  breathing.  Taking  deep  belly  breaths  can  reduce   blood  pressure,  improve  diges=on,  improve  cogni=ve   func=on,  and  re-­‐stabilize  the  body’s  sense  of  well-­‐ being.  (cont’d  next  page)

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Breathe in  through  the  nose  and  out  through  the   mouth.  On  the  exhale,  prac=ce  forcing  as  much  air  as   possible  out  of  your  lungs.  Imagine  that  you’re  also   forcing  out  nega=ve  thoughts,  energy,  worries,  etc.

Consider interes=ng  and  fun  ac=vi=es  such  as   dancing,  gardening,  and  walking  in  nature.  Ac=vi=es   such  as  stretching,  tai  chi,  yoga,  and  qigong  are  won-­‐ derful  ways  to  stay  flexible  and  stress  free.

For many,  deep  breathing  is  a  form  of  prayer  or  medi-­‐ ta=on.  Consider  making  deep  breathing  a  fundamen-­‐ tal  part  of  your  daily  rou=ne.  Deep  breaths  are  oIen   referred  to  as  “cleansing  breaths”  and  they  further   demonstrate  the  connec=on  between  mind  and  body.  

Self-­‐Care AcIvity  #5  –  Become  Immersed  in   GraItude

Self-­‐Care Activity  #4  –  Move  the  Body  Every  Day Movement  is  vital  for  maintaining  overall  health  and   flexibility.  While  fibromyalgia  may  not  be  a  progres-­‐ sively  worsening  condi=on,  poor  body  maintenance   is.  The  results  of  long-­‐term  inac=vity  can  be  disas-­‐ trous.  In  a  “use  it  or  lose  it”  way,  muscles  need  to  be   stretched  and  the  lungs  and  respiratory  system  need   exercise  as  well.Moving  the  body  on  a  regular  basis   has  numerous  benefits  including  improved  mental   clarity,  healthier  diges=on,  and  lowered  stress  levels.

Nothing fine-­‐tunes  your  awareness  of  the  blessings   that  surround  you  more  than  the  prac=ce  of  keeping  a   gra=tude  journal.  Use  a  small  notebook  and  keep  it  by   your  bedside.  Each  evening,  write  down  three  things   for  which  you’re  grateful.  Not  only  will  you  sleep   beZer  at  night,  you’ll  find  a  more  posi=ve  focus  and   outlook  during  the  day.   Have  you  decided  that  you  important  enough  to  imple-­‐ ment  these  five  simple  ac=vi=es  today?  I  believe  in   you!

-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐ADVERTISEMENT-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐

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www.FlourishOver50.com


Featured Wellness Woman Mary Ellen  Ciganovich Cha6anooga,  Tennessee Self-­‐Love:  Looking  in  the  mirror  (without   tears)  and  saying  to  yourself  "I  truly  love  you." One  of  things  that  is  impressive  about  Mary  Ellen  is   her  elegance  and  yet  pure  iron  strength.    I  first  met   her  as  a  guest  for  the  Wellness  Journey  Show.  She   had  wriZen  a  beau=ful  book  “Healing  Words”.  As   she  related  her  story  of  being  diagnosed  with  Epi-­‐ lepsy  then  MS  I  was  struck  by  her  “not  only  will  I   beat  this,  I  will  thrive”  aMtude.    Mary  Ellen  truly  is  a   beau=ful  woman  from  the  outside  but  what  is  truly   beau=ful  about  her  is  what  resides  on  the  inside.  A   true  love  of  God  ,  family  and  friends  and  a  never  dy-­‐ ing  quest  to  con=nue  her  journey  to  wellness  with  a   powerful  forward  mo=on.    Mary  Ellen  is  an  iron  fist   in  a  velvet  glove.    She  is  the  true  personifica=on  of   grace  under  fire  while  pursuing  the  never  ending   quest  to  be  the  woman  that  God  created  her  to  be.  

Why is  it  important  for  women  to  take  the   Ime  to  truly  love  themselves? Historically  women  have  been  raised  to  put  them-­‐ selves  last.      Women  can’t  love  others  unless  they   love  themselves.      You  can’t  drink  water  from  an   empty  glass.    Many  women  think  taking  care  of  their   family  is  the  same  thing  as  loving  yourself.      But  truly   loving  yourself  is  saying,  “right  now  I  need  the  next   15  or  20  minutes  for  me!  I  need  to  take  a  hot  bath,   read  a  book,  go  for  a  walk…”.      Truly  loving  yourself   means  pulling  yourself  away  from  any  situa=on  that   is  not  good  for  you  and  saying  “NO!”    We  give  so   much  of  ourselves  there  is  nothing  leI  for  us.  You   can  drain  yourself  by  giving  and  giving  and  giving.     You  become  like  a  flat  =re  with  no  air  leI.      Doing  for   you;  this  is  biblical.  Christ  was  honored  to  have  some-­‐

one wash  his  feet  –  acts  of  showing  uncondi=onal   love.    Society  is  so  condi=onal;  expecta=ons,  mo=ves   and  judgments  get  us  in  trouble.      We  need  to  stop   judging  everyone  else  and  only  judge  ourselves  in  lov-­‐ ing  ways.      When  something  is  not  working  for  you   let  people  know  instead  of  con=nuing  to  do  the  very   thing  that  isn’t  working.   I  have  found  through  my  work  with  women  that  we   have  a  hard  =me  looking  at  ourselves  in  the  mirror   and  saying  “I  love  you!”    Some  break  into  tears,   which  usually  mean  they  have  unresolved  issues  and   need  to  deal  with  that  hurt  is.      This  exercise  of  look-­‐ ing  in  the  mirror,  helps  women  to  look  at  themselves   rather  than  others,  and  to  begin  that  journey  of  de-­‐ veloping  a  rela=onship  with  you  and  your  reflec=on   (your  percep=on  of  who  you  are)  The  mirror  exercise   teaches  women  to  love  themselves  through  their   eyes  not  others  eyes.    It  took  me  a  long  =me  to  love   her  myself.    My  mother  used  to  tell  me  that  I  didn’t   look  like  I  had  epilepsy.      I  use  to  wonder  “what  does   epilepsy  look  like?”.    I  have  learned  to  embrace  the   love  and  life  of  the  Holy  Spirit  within.    If  you  want  to   change  something,  then  change  it  for  yourself  not   63


others.  Come  to  terms  with  do  “I  like  myself  as  I  am?”     If  the  answer  is  “no”  then  begin  to  take  posi=ve  steps   to  do  what  is  necessary  (seek  help  through  therapy,   counseling,  family  and  friends)        Awareness  is  so  key   in  self  –love.    You  can’t  fix  what  you  don’t  know   about.    

What do  you  do  for  your  own  self-­‐care? I  probably  prac=ce  self-­‐care  way  too  much.  (she   laughs)    I  do  manicures  and  pedicures,  workout  every   day  to  keep  my  health  balanced  and  give  me  some   peace.    I  take  5  or  10  minutes  to  sit  down  and  be   quite  “medita=ve  listening”  to  seZle  myself.    I  spend   quite  a  bit  of  =me  outside  listening  to  nature.  I  find  it   is  important  to  take  yourself  out  of  the  rate  race  be-­‐ cause  in  that  rat  race  is  a  great  amount  of  nega=ve   energy.    All  the  ego  (the  nega=ve  self-­‐talk)  that  says,   ”you  should  do  this,  you  should  do  that”    Day  aIer   day,  year  aIer  year  we  hear  this  nega=ve  self-­‐talk  and   then  we  wonder  why  you  have  cancer  or  some  other   chronic  disease.      I  learned  to  come  home  aIer  work   or  from  something  fast  paced  and  dump  all  the  nega-­‐ =ve  energy  that  might  have  happened  during  the   course  of  the  day.    When  you  return  home  you  should   start  to  detoxify  from  your  day.    Take  a  deep  breath,   relax,  and  don’t  take  on  everyone  else’s  junk.

What kind  of  a  Journey  are  you  on  at  62?  I  am  s=ll  learning  to  be  s=ll.  Hopefully  I  am  changing   in  a  posi=ve  way.    I  care  deeply  for  my  family  and   friends.  I  love  myself  now  as  much  as  I  ever  have.    I   have  come  to  terms  with  the  good  person  and  truly   wonderful  person  that  God  has  created  me  to  be.     When  my  daughter  was  diagnosed  with  Epilesy,  I  was   mad  at  God.    I  had  to  take  a  step  back  from  that  and     found  out  that  she  was  misdiagnosed.  Now  my  daugh-­‐ ter  is  thriving  doing  medical  mission  work.    As  you  get   older  and  wiser  things  truly  come  to  frui=on  if  you  let   go  of  the  judgments,  mo=ves  and  allow  things  to  hap-­‐

pen.    I  have  learned  to  stay  away  from  nega=ve   energy  and  to  find  peace  within.  

How have  you  managed  to  age  so  gracefully?     What  is  your  secret?   Exercise  ,  watch  your    diet.    An=oxidants!!  You  don’t   age  you  rust.  You  oxidize.    Take  plenty  of  supple-­‐ ments.    I  use    Vitamin  C  cream  but    you  have  to  find   what  works  for  you.      Hydorlonic  acid  vitamin  e  may   work  for  you,  research  and  find  out  what  will  work  for   you.      I  eats  very  carefully;    protein  bars,  no    beef,  and   I  use  red  wine  for  cooking.    Exercise  is  key  because   when  you  create  more  free  radicals  so  make  sure  you   get  plenty  of  an=oxidants  to  combat  those  free  radi-­‐ cals.      An=oxidants  balance  out  the  free  radicals.    I   make  sure  I  drink  hot  water  with  lemon  and  clean  out   my  system  on  a  regular  basis.  

What is  your  definiIon  of  a  Wellness  Woman? A  woman  who  is  self-­‐confidant  has  self-­‐love,  can  give   to  other  women  and  family  take  care  of  herself,     woman  of  today  and  a  woman  of  the  future.    She   stands  up  for  herself  and  not  let  other  take  advantage   of  her.    A  woman  who  says  what  she  means  and   means  what  she  says  and  follows  through  with  it.  Live   her  truth,  loves  her  life,  loves  the  lord  and  is  grateful

Mary Ellen  Ciganovich  is  an  educator,  speaker  and   writer  on  the  topics  of  Awareness,  Spirituality  and   how  these  affect  our  life  situa=ons.  She  conducts  a   popular  seminar  called  “Live,  Love,  and  Learn”  that   teaches  people  how  to  take  charge  of  their  lives  and   control  their  health  through  the  use  of  medical  and   alterna=ve  choices.

h=p://www.askmaryellen.com

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By Pastor  Chyrell  “Candi”  English “With  eager  an=cipa=on,  she  waits   by  the  living  room  window  for  the   one  person  who  could  always   brighten  up  her  day.  Her  Daddy!  He   was  6  foot,  2  inches  tall  and  was   pleasantly  plumped  and  hand-­‐ somely  round!  She  couldn’t  wait  to   see  the  twinkle  in  his  eyes,  as   though  there  was  some  type  of  un-­‐ derlying  mischief  going  on,  and  the   big  smile  on  his  face!  It  was  one  of   the  best  moments  of  her  days!   When  she  saw  his  smile,  and  felt  his   hug  she  knew  that  everything  was   going  to  be  okay.”  –Chyrell  English How  can  I  measure  the  love,  I  which   I  had  for  my  father  as  a  liZle  girl.  He  could  absolutely  do  no  wrong  in  my  eyes.  He  was  my  hero,  my  protector,   my  advisor  and  the  one  person  that  I  could  go  to  for  long  talks.  We  talked  about  everything!  I  felt  that  it  was  im-­‐ portant  that  he  knew  everything  that  went  on  during  the  day  of  a  six  year  old!  He  would  listen  appropriately,   ask  all  of  the  right  ques=ons,  and  of  course  share  his  great  wisdom.  I  was  completely  sold  out!  That’s  right…I   was  a  Daddy’s  Girl! As  I  grew  older,  during  my  teen  age  years,  my  perspec=ve  began  to  change.  Maybe  he  didn’t  have  all  the  an-­‐ swers.  I  was  certain,  that  I  knew  most  things  beZer  than  he,  by  now.  As  a  maZer  of  fact,  he  told  me  that  he   “Didn’t  raise  any  dumb  children”  so  that  made  me  smart,  right?  And  by  the  way…where  did  he  ever  learn  about   this  thing  called  “being  grounded?”  I  knew  that  being  grounded  wasn’t  one  of  my  great  ideas.  AIer  all,  I  was   only  expressing  myself,  sharing  my  ideas  and  standing  up  for  my  rights,  with  a  very  posi=ve  aMtude,  thanks  to   the  tapes  I  listened  to  from  Earl  Nigh=ngale.  It  was  amazing;  however,  that  aIer  all  of  the  disagreements,  pouty   faces,  and  commitments  to  never  speak  to  him  again….my  father  was  always  there.  I  was  s=ll  a  Daddy’s  Girl. Over  the  years,  aIer  embracing  both  the  celebra=ons  and  challenges  that  come  with  life,  I  reflect  on  the  fact   that  I  have  come  to  appreciate  the  =me,  love  and  energy  invested  into  me  by  my  father.  My  sisters  and  brothers   and  I  were  the  main  focus  of  his  life.  Although  he  could  be  very  strict,  his  love  for  us  was  and  has  always  been   uncondi=onal. I  aZribute  the  rela=onship  that  I  have  with  God,  to  the  rela=onship  that  I  have  with  my  father.  I  may  not  always   be  in  God’s  perfect  will  for  my  life,  but  He  is  always  there.  He  will  never  leave  me,  nor  forsake  me.  There  may  be   =mes  when  God  disciplines  me,  but  I  can  always  place  my  trust  and  confidence  in  Him.  He  is  omnipotent,   65


omnipresent, and  omniscience.  He  will  never  leave   me  nor  forsake  me.  This  is  very  important  for  the  liZle   girl  inside  of  me,  to  both  know  and  trust. Yes,  I  am  blessed  with  the  best  by  God  and  the  giI   that  He  gave  me  through  my  father!  And  because  of   their  love  for  me,  I  have  chosen  to  always  be,  a   “Daddy’s  Girl.” “For  God  so  loved  the  world  that  he  gave  his  one  and   only  Son,  that  whoever  believes  in  him  shall  not  per-­‐ ish  but  have  eternal  life.”  –  John  3:16

elieve nb o t y tendenccism, but listeto e h t e -criti closer ll hav “We aoubt and selefver gets us point of self-d this voice nd, try on theriend who ing to oals. Instea r or good f best for our g of a mento wants the when you view eves in you, ourage you beli nd will enc raged.”
 your, a feel discou cGonigal M ~Kelly

hZp://www.doersoIhewordusa.com

-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐ADVERTISEMENT-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐

http://www.thechristianmeditator.com

Listen to  Our  Journey  To  Wellness  Moments   http://www.iheart.com/talk/show/Our-­‐Journey-­‐to-­‐Wellness-­‐Moment/ 66


By Laurie  Andreoni

What would  you  do  if  you  just  learned  you  are   going  to  lose  all  your  hair? Take  a  deep  breath. Your  best  weapons  against  your  fear  are  to  know   what  to  expect  and  to  be  prepared.    The  more  you   can  prepare  for  each  event,  the  less  nega=ve  emo-­‐ =onal  impact  it  will  have  on  you  when  it  happens. And  know  you  are  not  alone.  Each  year,  thousands   of  women  experience  hair  loss  from  medical  treat-­‐ ments.  In  addi=on,  Alopecia  areata  and  alopecia  to-­‐ talis  are  autoimmune  skin  diseases  that  affect  about   2%  of  the  overall  popula=on,  including  more  than   6.5  million  people  in  the  US  alone.      At  some  point  in   their  lives,  another  4.5  million  people  in  the  US  will   be  affected  with  baldness  from  other  causes. Hair  loss  is  also  a  chemotherapy  side  effect  that  can   frighten  us  more  than  any  other  aspect  of  treat-­‐ ment.  It  is  a  constant  outward  reminder  to  both  the   pa=ent  and  everyone  around  them  that  they  are  fac-­‐ ing  a  serious  health  condi=on.     You  may  think  that  with  the  stress  of  the  diagnosis,   worrying  about  your  appearance  would  not  be  a  pri-­‐ ority.    But  our  hair  is  such  a  significant  part  of  our   self-­‐image  that  sudden,  complete  hair  loss  oIen  has   a  deep  impact  on  our  iden=ty  and  confidence. And  when  you  feel  you  look  your  best,  everything  im-­‐ proves,  from  how  you  interact  with  others  to  your   body  language  and  posture.    There’s  the  liZle  rush  of   that  extra  endorphin  boost  whenever  we  get  a  com-­‐ pliment  or  feel  the  enjoyment  of  seeing  someone   who  put  the  effort  into  geMng  dressed.   A  simple  step  toward  feeling  beZer  is  to  be  aware  of   the  colors  you  wear  and  how  they  make  you  feel.    

For beZer  or  worse,  color  has  a  significant  impact  on   our  emo=ons.  The  colors  you  wear  not  only  affect   your  mood,  but  also  communicate  something  about   your  personality.   The  way  each  of  us  perceives  color  is  unique.  Bright   colors  that  liI  one  person´s  mood  can  be  garish  to   someone  else.  Pastels  that  aim  to  soothe  the  spirit   may  be  too  dreary  for  a  bubbly  personality. The  effect  of  color  can  be  mys=cal,  psychological  and   even  func=onal.    During  medita=on,  feelings  of  well-­‐ being  are  enhanced  with  visualiza=on  of  color  that   has  a  specific  meaning  to  the  person.  Deep  breath-­‐ 67


ing exercises  that  use  a  sense  of  color  directed  at  dif-­‐ ferent  areas  of  the  body  can  help  pa=ents  beZer  man-­‐ age  the  stress  and  fear  related  to  their  illness.

3. Non-­‐slip:    Avoid  silky,  slippery  scarves.    A  con-­‐ structed  wrap  or  hat  allows  for  lighter  fabrics,  more   fullness  and  beZer  grip  than  a  single  =ed  scarf.      

The influence  of  color  had  never  been  so  obvious  to   me  un=l  I  was  faced  with  hair  loss  during  chemo.  With   a  bald  head,  I  looked  -­‐  and  felt  -­‐  absolutely  drained  un-­‐ less  I  wore  flaZering  colors.  

4. Color!  As  bright  as  you  dare  -­‐  celebrate  your   healing.

AIer losing  my  hair  from  chemotherapy  for  breast   cancer,  I  panicked  when  my  skin  became  too  sensi=ve   for  wigs.    A  scarf  =ed  behind  my  head  looked  like  I   was  ready  to  sweep  cobwebs.  I  wanted  something   preZy,  comfortable  and  poufy,  so  I  wouldn’t  look  as   lousy  as  I  felt.  

5.  Accessorize!    The  ends  of  a  turban  wrap  can  flow   loosely  or  be  =ed  crea=vely.    Add  an  accent  pin  or  sec-­‐ ond  scarf.  Big  earrings  aZract  aZen=on  to  your  smile. You  can’t  control  whether  or  not  you  lose  your  hair,   but  with  the  support  from  millions  of  other  women   who  have  walked  this  path  before  you,  you  can  learn   to  control  your  point  of  view,  your  aMtude  and  how   to  manage  each  step  along  the  way.    

My fear  became  a  mission  to  create  something  beau=-­‐ ful  out  of  this  chapter  of  my  life.     I  learned  to  wrap  big  scarves,  and  the  style  drew  com-­‐ pliments  even  from  strangers.  Since  it  was  difficult  to   imitate,  I  snipped  and  sewed  fabrics  into  a  new  pat-­‐ tern,  and  Ti=lla=ng  Turbans®  were  born. Never  having  worn  hats,  I  learned  that  whether  in  pa-­‐ jamas  or  dressed  up,  you  will  have  more  confidence   with  headwear  that  assures  you  that  you  are  not  your   hair.    Every  year  thousands  of  people  face  this  chal-­‐ lenge.  They  have  found  crea=ve  ways  to  decorate   their  head,  and  you  will,  too. So  here  are  a  few  =ps  to  help  you  decorate  this  beau=-­‐ ful  new  blank  canvas,  your  hairless  head:

5 Tips  to  Choose  Your  Best  Headwear 1.  It  makes  you  smile!    Why  play  it  safe?  Enjoy  experi-­‐ men=ng! 2.  SoI:      Terry  turbans  are  perfect  at  home.  For  going   out,  choose  soI,  light  fabrics:  rayon,  bamboo,  coZon   gauze.  Avoid  clingy  spandex,  thick  fabrics,  and  heavy   coZons.

ply m i s s i sion dness to s a p m o c Self- he same kin ould give giving vtes that we sw.
 r oursel to othe er Germer toph s i r h C ~

68


WOMAN OF WELLNESS Wellness women know the importance about breast exam and annual pap-smear
 This is something we must do every year
 Vitamins, protein, rest, and exercise is now our new regiment 
 now we are living life as if it’s heaven sent
 Wellness of mind, body, and soul is better than pure gold.
 Wellness is like the morning sun that keep your world brighten
 As you stand tall with strength, meeting each challenge 
 You take life by leaps and bounds
 Never touching the ground
 Wellness Women strike your pose for you are
 the new picture of the fountain of health
 Nurturing your body is your wealth
 Inspiring other women by living by example Is my sample
 Wellness is something you can’t keep a secret 
 Because your results are beaming when you step into the world
 You embrace life with such a glow as you speak your words f low
 You become the champion of your own destiny
 By loving yourself so much
 treating our body
 Like we treat our vehicle
 We keep it tune up and give it all the things
 To keep on running, we take pride in life
 We love the temple of our vessels
 And we thank God by showing him we love ourselves
 By being the Women of Wellness 69

© Luella  Hill-­‐Dudley

Wellness Woman 40 and Beyond - Issue #3  

The Self-Love, Self-Care Issue. The Nations Premier Mind, Body, Spirit eMagazine for Women 40 and beyond.

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