Connect • October-November 2021

october-november 2021 • weconnect.lgbt

Fortune Feimster Comedian makes stop in Nashville on ‘2 sweet, 2 salty’ tour

Inspire. Empower. Change.

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Volume 1 | Issue 2 Connect Magazine Murfreesboro, TN 37128 weconnect.lgbt A part of

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Page 2 | weconnect.lgbt | October-November 2021

FROM THE PUBLISHER

TRY SOMETHING NEW AND JUST BE YOU Laughter is the best medicine!

Do you ever just laugh at yourself? If not, you should. I do all the time. I find myself in all kinds of amusing situations. Most recently, we were at Tiff’s Treats picking up free cookies! I needed to use the restroom, but they didn’t have one for the public.

Our cookies weren’t ready and I had to go! I went next door to a place called Frutta Bowls, a small, health-conscious, foodie restaurant. The bathrooms were right at the back of the one room eatery. I tried to open the bathroom door but it was locked (or so I thought). I proceeded to get in line and ask for a key, but for some reason, I ordered a $7.09 piece of avocado toast instead. I didn’t want to be non-paying customer. Come to find out, the bathrooms weren’t locked. Be sure, I ate every crumb of that toast and had a cookie to boot!

My wife just laughed at me. She knows my history of comical situations. Speaking of comedy, we are so excited to have Fortune Feimster as our cover story.

She is so funny and down to earth. You can catch her in November at TPAC for two shows. And thank you, Fortune! We appreciate you being you!

Why stop there though? Laughter is the best medicine. Third Coast Comedy Club hosts an array of comedy shows and classes including the popular Carol Improv—Nashville’s one and only improv troupe made up of all LGBTQ+ improvisers!

As the holidays approach, remember to live, laugh and love. Go see a comedy show. Take a stand up or improv class. Laugh at yourself more. Step outside your comfort zone. That’s what I want you all to take from this note. Try something new and be you.

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We offer opportunities to connect you to audiences through print, online, social media and events! Call Selena Haynes today to find out more!

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nect 21 • wecon summer 20

.lgbt

Let’s Connect!

Co-founder and Publisher

n Read our virtual issue online at weconnect.lgbt/issues.

E TO YOUR GUID E’S TENNESSE IONS CELEBRAT

contents

in this issue

6 18

CONTENT

3 Letter from the publisher 6 MUSIC Daena is “Just the Girl” you need to know 10 COVER STORY Fortune Feimster is ‘2 Sweet, 2 Salty’ 18 HEALTH Seasonal Affective Disorder is more than just the blues

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44

FEATURES 14 SPORTS Rodeo has been a staple in the LGBT+ community for decades 22 LIFE Hair has no gender, but plays a key role in our identities 40 TRAVEL Travel journalist Joey Amato shows love for one of his favorite cities: Chicago 44 CULTURE Award-winning author shares a variety of lessons and interactions in ‘Things Lady Likes’

contents

EVENTS

10

24 ‘HOLI-GAY’ MARKET Connect presents a virtual “Holi-gay” market for the community 26 BARK IN THE PARK Daena is “Just the Girl” you need to know 28 FALL FUN Your guide to key events in the autumn months

NEWS 38 SOCIAL JUSTICE The fight to stop conversion therapy

October-November 2021 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 5

music

PHOTO COURTESY OF DAENA

daena Page 6 | weconnect.lgbt | October-November 2021

a

music

“Just the Girl” you need to know Indie-pop artist daena drops ‘Just the Girl’

By Lauren Means @LaurenInMidTenn

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N

ashville-based indie-pop artist daena returned September 30 with her take on The Click Five’s explosive early ’00s hit, “Just the Girl.”

Her music has found its way to Spotify’s “Fresh Finds” and “Night Pop” editorial playlists, been featured on iHeart Radio, Nashville’s Lightning 100, Breaking Sound Radio, and more. daena’s 2019 single “Close Isn’t Enough” has organically amassed over half a million Spotify streams. If you don’t know daena, now is the time to change that.

Who is daena? Tell us a little about you and your background.

I’m an indie-pop artist currently based in Nashville, originally from Jersey. I

moved here in 2013 to go to school at Belmont, and since graduating, I’ve been releasing music as daena, exploring love, truth, and vulnerability through my music and songwriting.

Outside of music, some of my favorite things include iced lattes, petting dogs, watching “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” video games, and doing yoga in my living room!

When did you find your place in music? What formed your music?

Music has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. It ran the gamut from recording fake variety show musicals on my beloved cassette tapes in elementary school, to Jonas Brothers and Good Charlotte obsessions, to listening to Springsteen CDs when my mom drove me to choir or band rehearsals or open mics in my hometown.

Moving to Nashville has also been an essential part of my music journey and discovering who I really am as an artist.

I think my early influences, like Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson, will always poke through in my vocals and writing tendencies, but as my music taste has

grown so has my sound.

Now, synth-pop bands like MUNA and The Aces have had a huge influence on my songs sonically. One thing I think will always be a part of my music is craft and storytelling. It’s one of my favorite parts of the creative process - sitting in a room and spilling your guts to one or two other people for four hours with a guitar and a notepad (and sometimes a glass of wine). Before the recording session, press campaigns, touring, or anything else comes into play, it’s songs in their purest form. And it’s magical. »

Listen to it

Daena’s new single, “Just the Girl” is now available on iTunes, Spotify, Pandora and other major streaming platforms.

October-November 2021 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 7

music

You identify as a queer artist. How do you feel your identity shapes your music (if it does at all)?

As a human and a songwriter, I’m basically an open book that’s just me (and it pretty much always has been).

Something I strive for is to be as genuine and honest as possible in my writing and in my artistry, whatever that may look like at the time. So, to do that, it would be impossible to ignore this huge part of myself and my life - and more importantly, I’m proud to be a queer woman! I also want to Page 8 | weconnect.lgbt | October-November 2021

give representation to so many LGBTQ+ youth who haven’t had it - because they deserve to hear their stories told as much as anyone else. It’s so important to me to be a voice for those queer kids feeling alone, or weird, because I know how isolating that can feel.

While we are making strides in equality for all, there are still barriers — especially here in the south. What advice do you have for people who might be struggling

with their identity? What advice would you go back and give a young Daena?

Absolutely. I was lucky to grow up in a pretty liberal place (New Jersey) in a really diverse and accepting community. But I definitely did struggle when I first realized I was queer as a freshman in college. I felt like I was somehow behind, or somehow an outsider, compared to friends of mine who knew they were gay since they were kids. And it took a long time for me to really feel like I belonged in this

music

community because of that - not to mention struggling with labels, identity, etc.

So for anyone struggling with coming to terms with their sexuality, I would just say to give it time and give yourself grace, and love.

Remember that you are beautiful and you are valid, no matter how you identify or where you are on your journey of self-discovery.

Your take on “Just the Girl” dropped September 30. Is there any other

music we can be looking forward to in the coming months?

Yes! “Just the Girl” has been in the works for the better part of 2021 - I am so proud of it and it was an absolute blast to make with my producer, griggs. I’m also super excited to release more new original music in 2022! I’ve racked up quite a few new songs written during the pandemic and can’t wait to package them up into (hopefully) my debut full-length record.

You can stay tuned on all

my upcoming releases by following me on social media @daenamusic. n

MORE INFORMATION To learn more about daena and hear her music, visit daenamusic.com.

Follow her on social media @daenamusic

“

“I was lucky to grow up in a pretty liberal place (New Jersey) in a really diverse and accepting community.

But I definitely did struggle when I first realized I was queer as a freshman in college. I felt like I was somehow behind, or somehow an outsider, compared to friends of mine who knew they were gay since they were kids.”

October-November 2021 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 9

cover story

A story of

Fortune Fortune Feimster stops in Nashville for her ‘2 Sweet, 2 Salty’ tour after a pause for the pandemic

By Lauren Means @WeConnect_LGBT

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Fortune is making a stop in Nashville for two showings of her “2 Sweet, 2 Salty” tour. She says she’s going to pick up where her Netflix special, “Sweet & Salty,” left off and covers the adult version of her life including getting married.

The tour was initially set to launch in March of 2020 but was postponed until this year and Fortune is happy to be back doing what she loves. She said, “It’s so cool to be back on the road. I love Nashville. It is such a great city for comedy.”

Fortune got her start in the entertainment industry as a personal assistant to Emily Proctor of “CSI: Miami.”

Both are from North Carolina and met at Fortune’s college graduation where she gave the commencement speech and Proctor was the keynote speaker. In 2003, Fortune moved to Los Angeles to work for Proctor and pursue a career in comedy. »

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PHOTO COURTESY OF MATT MISISCO

ith a name like Fortune, she was destined for greatness. Fortune Feimster, who’s named after her great-grandmother, is everywhere right now and shows no signs of slowing down.

cover story

October-November 2021 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 11

cover story

“

The awesome part of being able to tell my own story is the hope that it’s funny to people because I’ve gotten to a place where it’s funny to me — it’s difficult in the moment when it’s happening but it tells other people who have gone through that similar experience that it’s a relatable experience.”

Fortune eventually decided the personal assistant life was not for her and she linked up with Proctor’s neighbor who happened to be a journalist for the Los Angeles Daily News.

Fortune spent seven years as an entertainment reporter. During those seven years, she also joined the Groundlings and began to study and proceed with a career in comedy.

In 2010, Fortune was a semi-finalist on NBC’s “Last Comic Standing.” From there, she became a writer and panelist on E’s “Chelsea Lately.” This led to an impressive resume of television and film credits including “The Mindy Project,” “Claws,” “The L Word: Generation Q,” “Office Christmas Party,” “Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar,” and more. She has also had a very successful Netflix Special, “Sweet & Salty,” and a new stand-up tour fittingly titled “2 Sweet, 2 Salty.”

Out, Open and Proud Fortune has always been “out” during her career. She came out in 2005 before she ever hit the entertainment scene. She was always supported by the people around her to live authentically and share her story. When she was auditioning for “Last Comic Standing,” she asked her manager if she should include stories about being gay and without hesitation

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she was told she should absolutely do it. She says her manager said it’s part of who she is, and people will like her for who she is and that she should not hide it.

She has said in the past how it was easy to be sheltered coming from a small, southern town.

In a 2010 interview with AutoStraddle, Fortune explains the moment she realized she was gay was when she was watching a Lifetime movie saying, “I’m watching this like, 15 year old girl coming to terms with being gay and just being OK with it, and something just clicked and I was like, ‘oh my gosh, here I am at 25 years old, and I know that there’s something… I know that this is in me and this is who I am.’ I think that was the first time where I was like, ‘oh my God, I am gay!’ I swear to God, it was just like some epiphany, and the first time I ever said it out loud to myself. And I don’t know, Stockard Channing man… she just brought out the gay in me!”

Fortune says growing up, she knew what gay was but didn’t grasp the concept of being gay as it related to her personally. Part of this was from growing up in a time when there wasn’t much representation of the LGBTQ+ community in the media. It also came from not having anyone in her community being out and ok with being out. She’s part of the shift in changing this for future generations by being out, open and proud.

PHOTO COURTESY OF KATHY HUTCHINS / SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

— Fortune Feimster

cover story

It’s More Than Just Storytelling

common thread in comedy,” she notes.

“The awesome part of being able to tell my own story is the hope that it’s funny to people because I’ve gotten to a place where it’s funny to me — it’s difficult in the moment when it’s happening but it tells other people who have gone through that similar experience that it’s a relatable experience,” says Fortune.

She’s also had straight people come up to her after a show and tell her, “Your telling that coming out story helped me realize what its like to have to come out as a gay person and I never thought about that before.”

She knows it wasn’t always that easy saying, “That didn’t used to happen. People would lose their careers if they talked about things like that.” Fortune says she is very thankful for the progress but acknowledges “there is work that still needs to be done” for there to be complete equality for the LGBTQ+ community.

Stand-up is where she’s really able to connect with her audiences. “I’m very lucky that audiences have been good to me and embraced me.” She’s able to talk about who she is as a person and her experiences in life which comes from the lens of being a lesbian.

She says, “I’ve had more people come to my show than ever before and selling out shows so for me it’s a sign of progress.”

She explains how she looks out and can see people from all walks of life and all colors of the rainbow in the audience. “It’s about people coming together and finding a

From Ms. to Mrs. Although 2020 postponed her latest tour, it didn’t postpone her wedding. In October 2020, Fortune and her then-fiance Jacquelyn Smith tied the knot in a small ceremony. She says getting married during the pandemic was a unique situation but it made their wedding that much more special. “It was positive and happy when times weren’t so positive and happy in the world,” she states.

“The pandemic was a challenging time for everybody but the one silver lining was we got to spend a lot of time at home with our dogs and it be about our relationship and not crazy work stuff,” speaking to the pandemic married life.

You can catch Fortune at TPAC’s Polk Theater on Saturday, November 20 at 6pm or 10pm. If you’re lucky you might also find her hitting up her Nashville favorite, Biscuit Love, for some Bonuts. n

GO TO IT

For more about Fortune Feimster visit fortunefeimster.com.

For tickets to the show visit tpac.org/ event/2021-11-20-to-2021-11-20-fortune-feimster/.

“

It’s about people coming together and finding a common thread in comedy.”

— Fortune Feimster

October-November 2021 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 13

sports

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sports

Competition and Community at the

Gay Rodeo Tradition involving the sport made history, as well as community

By Sarah Calise @WeConnect_LGBT

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ne of the few places you can find both grit and glitter is at the gay rodeo. People of all genders and sexualities adorn boots and Stetson hats to compete in up to fifteen different events from traditional bull riding to those of the “camp” variety that includes steer decorating and a wild drag race. There might be more fun at the gay rodeo than at the straight rodeo, but there’s just as much athletic skill.

“Just because we have ‘gay’ in our title doesn’t mean any of us are any less of an athlete,” Breana Knight told BuzzFeed News at the 32nd annual World Gay Rodeo Finals in Mesquite, Texas. “We’re committed to this.

We’re getting hurt. We’re getting dirty. Just like anybody else in any other rodeo.”

Phil Ragsdale developed the first gay rodeo as a local charity event in 1976 near Reno,

Nevada. Although only 150 people attended it, this first rodeo made waves within the gay community. The next several rodeos Ragsdale held in Nevada—later known as the National Reno Gay Rodeo—received conservative backlash and anti-gay protests, but this failed to diminish crowds. By 1982, the gay rodeo in Reno attracted 10,000 people. Soon, gay rodeos started popping up in other western states, and many of them raised money for AIDS research and healthcare. These early gay rodeos also began including other activities like square dancing, drag shows, and parties that mixed Western heritage with gay liberation.

With rodeos formed in Colorado, Texas, California, and Arizona, Wayne Jakino of Denver felt an umbrella organization was needed to standardize rules, unite current and future rodeo chapters, and plan initiatives to grow the sport and build community. The International Gay Rodeo Association (IGRA) formed in 1985, and Jakino was elected as its first president.

At its most popular, IGRA had as many as 28 association members across the U.S. and Canada, and there were up to 25 rodeo events per year. Some rodeos in larger cities like Los Angeles regularly drew 10,000 attendees.

Gay rodeos truly became their own pride »

CONNECT

To find out more and to attend a rodeo near you, visit igra.com for an updated calendar of events.

October-November 2021 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 15

sports

“

Just because we have ‘gay’ in our title doesn’t mean any of us are any less of an athlete. We’re committed to this. We’re getting hurt. We’re getting dirty. Just like anybody else in any other rodeo.”

— Breanna Knight in an interview with BuzzFeed News at the 32nd annual World Gay Rodeo Finals in Mesquite, Texas

celebrations.

“Partying, out dancing, watching the rodeo, all these other things...we [IGRA] were just thriving,” remembered former rodeo director Patrick Terry during an interview with Rebecca Scofield recorded in 2017. “I mean, pool parties at the San Diego rodeo. You just did not want to miss it.”

Eventually, gay rodeo chapters spread to the Midwest and Southeast in places like Ohio, Missouri, Georgia, Florida, and Tennessee.

A Nashville-based group, called the Smoky Mountain Rodeo Association (SMRA), joined the IGRA in July 2003. The mission of this non-profit, all-volunteer chapter was to promote education and enjoyment of the western lifestyle as well as raise money for charitable causes related to HIV/AIDS, children’s services, animal welfare, the Bianca Paige Awareness Network, and other local social issues. Like all IGRA chapters, SMRA was open to people of all skill levels and sexualities. They held “Play Days” where people could try out different events such as calf roping and wheelbarrow drag racing, or just hang out at the barbecue and dance.

SMRA often held meetings and beer busts at The Chute, one of Nashville’s most popular and longest-running gay bars located on Franklin Road. Once The Chute closed in

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2007, they moved events to The Stirrup until SMRA completely dissolved in 2012.

There are no longer any IGRA chapters in the Southeastern United States.

The best part of IGRA is the community it has built over the years. Folks from city and rural life, the young and old, experienced and novice rodeo athletes come together to form lifelong friendships.

“The most important thing at all of this, and I realized this after being gone for two years, was the camaraderie and the friends.

You meet friends that become your family and they, you know, you really do care about them,” said Terry, who was an IGRA Hall of Fame inductee in 2012.

The organization is active in preserving its own history, too. The IGRA website is a treasure trove of old gay rodeo posters, photographs, programs, and artifacts like buttons, belt buckles, and participation ribbons dating back to the 1970s. The carefully constructed archives and gay rodeo history demonstrate IGRA’s strong sense of community and serious dedication to highlevel competition.

So put some pride in your saddle, and use IGRA’s online calendar of events to locate an upcoming rodeo nearest you. You just might find yourself in for the ride of your life. n

Thank you.

Connect Media Group pays homage to our LGBT+ veterans on Veteran’s Day. Thank you for your service!

October-November 2021 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 17

health

Seasonal Affective Disorder:

More Than Just the Winter Blues What to do if you suffer from seasonal disorder — how to seek help

By National Institute of Mental Health @WeConnect_LGBT

L

What is seasonal affective disorder (SAD)?

Many people go through short periods of time where they feel sad or not like their usual selves. Sometimes, these mood changes begin and end when the seasons change.

People may start to feel “down” when the days get shorter in the fall and winter (also called “winter blues”) and begin to feel better in the spring, with longer daylight hours.

In some cases, these mood changes are more serious and can affect how a person feels, thinks, and handles daily activities. If you have noticed significant changes in your mood and behavior whenever the seasons change, you may be suffering from seasonal affective disorder (SAD), a type of depression.

In most cases, SAD symptoms start in the late fall or early winter and go away during the spring and summer; this is known as winter-pattern SAD or winter

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depression. Some people may experience depressive episodes during the spring and summer months; this is called summerpattern SAD or summer depression and is less common.

What are the signs and symptoms of SAD? SAD is not considered a separate disorder but is a type of depression characterized by its recurrent seasonal pattern, with symptoms lasting about 4 to 5 months per year. Therefore, the signs and symptoms of SAD include those associated with major depression, and some specific symptoms that differ for winter-pattern and summerpattern SAD. Not every person with SAD will experience all of the symptoms listed below.

Symptoms of major depression may include:

• Feeling depressed most of the day, nearly every day • Losing interest in activities you once enjoyed • Experiencing changes in appetite or weight • Having problems with sleep • Feeling sluggish or agitated • Having low energy • Feeling hopeless or worthless • Having difficulty concentrating • Having frequent thoughts of death or suicide »

health

October-November 2021 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 19

health

GET IMMEDIATE HELP

If you or someone you know is in immediate distress or is thinking about hurting themselves, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline toll-free at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the toll-free TTY number at 1-800-7994TTY (4889).

You also can text the Crisis Text Line (HELLO to 741741) or go to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline website at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

to determine if your symptoms meet the criteria for SAD.

For winter-pattern SAD, additional specific symptoms may include:

• Oversleeping (hypersomnia) • Overeating, particularly with a craving for carbohydrates • Weight gain • Social withdrawal (feeling like “hibernating”) • Specific symptoms for summer-pattern SAD may include: • Trouble sleeping (insomnia) • Poor appetite, leading to weight loss • Restlessness and agitation • Anxiety • Episodes of violent behavior

How is SAD diagnosed?

If you think you may be suffering from SAD, talk to your health care provider or a mental health specialist about your concerns. They may have you fill out specific questionnaires

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What causes SAD? Scientists do not fully understand what causes SAD. Research indicates that people with SAD may have reduced activity of the brain chemical (neurotransmitter) serotonin, which helps regulate mood. Research also suggests that sunlight controls the levels of molecules that help maintain normal serotonin levels, but in people with SAD, this regulation does not function properly, resulting in decreased serotonin levels in the winter.

Other findings suggest that people with SAD produce too much melatonin—a hormone that is central for maintaining the normal sleep-wake cycle. Overproduction of melatonin can increase sleepiness.

Both serotonin and melatonin help maintain the body’s daily rhythm that is tied to the seasonal night-day cycle. In people

with SAD, the changes in serotonin and melatonin levels disrupt the normal daily rhythms. As a result, they can no longer adjust to the seasonal changes in day length, leading to sleep, mood, and behavior changes.

Deficits in vitamin D may exacerbate these problems because vitamin D is believed to promote serotonin activity.

In addition to vitamin D consumed with diet, the body produces vitamin D when exposed to sunlight on the skin. With less daylight in the winter, people with SAD may have lower vitamin D levels, which may further hinder serotonin activity.

Negative thoughts and feelings about the winter and its associated limitations and stresses are common among people with SAD (as well as others). It is unclear whether these are “causes” or “effects” of the mood disorder, but they can be a useful focus of treatment.

How is SAD treated?

Treatments are available that can help many people with SAD. They fall into four main categories that may be used alone or in combination: • Light therapy • Psychotherapy • Antidepressant medications • Vitamin D Talk to your health care provider about which treatment, or combination of treatments, is best for you.

Can SAD be prevented?

Because the timing of the onset of winter pattern-SAD is so predictable, people with a history of SAD might benefit from starting the treatments mentioned above before the fall to help prevent or reduce the depression. To date, very few studies have investigated this question, and existing studies have found no convincing evidence that starting light therapy or psychotherapy ahead of time could prevent the onset of depression.

Only preventive treatment with the antidepressant bupropion prevented SAD in study participants, but it also had a higher risk of side effects. Therefore, people with SAD should discuss with their health care providers if they want to initiate treatment early to prevent depressive episodes. n

October-November 2021 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 21

life

Hair has

no gender Page 22 | weconnect.lgbt | SUMMER 2021

life

We are not our hair, but getting styled can be transformative

By Lauren Means @WeConnect_LGBT

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ur hair plays a big role, sometimes more than we realize, in our self-esteem and personal identity.

When we’re young, we’re told the story of Rapunzel whose long, beautiful hair was going to be her key to escaping solitude from the tower in which she was locked. When she is found to be plotting to escape, her hair is chopped off.

Then there was the biblical figure, Sampson. Sampson was said to have power derived from his long locks. He was tricked into falling in love with Delilah who, for her gain, cut his locks off in his sleep which made him lose his power and become enslaved.

We use our hair to hide things we’re told are flaws, like acne and scars.

We dye it, curl it, spike it, and sometimes shave it off completely. Our hair is an extension of ourselves.

So what happens when you’re figuring out your identity? What about when you know exactly what you want to do with your hair but stylists, usually unintentionally, don’t know how to think outside of typical gender norms?

This was a problem for which Kristin Rankin, founder of a program called The Dress Code Project, wanted a solution. Rankin comes from a line of stylists. When discussing their story on their website, Rankin says, “I have a long standing passion for the hair and beauty industry. To me, it is such a rewarding experience knowing that I’m making a difference in someone’s life. It’s a great feeling when the client looks in the mirror transformed and smiling from ear to ear. To

give someone that feeling, to make them feel ready to take on the world, it’s a special part of what we in the industry do on a daily basis.”

Rankin, who identifies as queer, acknowledges that this isn’t always a reality for people when they go to a salon. The moment Rankin realized there was a problem that needed a solution was when their salon was tagged in a tweet from a new client. The client, who was a trans woman, tweeted “first time I’ve felt like a woman while getting my haircut.” For Rankin, it was a typical client interaction but to the client, it was an important interaction because it affirmed her.

Rankin knows going to a salon and asking for a haircut that doesn’t conform with gender norms associated with our sex as assigned at birth can be intimidating, scary, and sometimes even a difficult experience. Even they remember not feeling safe going to a salon to get a nontraditional haircut. “When I was young I wanted nothing more than to live like I wanted to and look how I wanted,” explained Rankin.

So they decided to make a change.

In 2017, Rankin started an online resource for LGBTQ+ people to be able to find affirming salons and barbershops. They chose the name Dresscode Project because of how the term dress code reflects the traditional clothing for cisgender boys and girls.

With less than 10 participating salons in the southern region and only two in Tennessee, The Dresscode Project is always looking for inclusive affirming salons to join the network. Their goal is “for all people to be able [to] look at themselves in that mirror and smile.” n October-November 2021 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 23

ENVATO ELEMENTS; ILLUSTRATION BY BRIAN GOINS

community

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community

Don Your Gay Apparel for the

HoliGAY

Market T

By Selena Haynes @sjhaynes321

L

he holiday season is quickly approaching.

It’s time to start planning for events and gift-giving. Connect’s First Annual HoliGAY Market will be the perfect place to pick up all your unique, hand-crafted goods while supporting local, LGBTQ+ and ally-owned businesses.

The event was originally scheduled to be held at Centennial Park in Nashville on November

CONNECT

If you are interested in being an online vendor or virtual market sponsor, contact selena@weconnect.lgbt. We will take applications until October 31.

Our current lineup includes: • Albert Gore Research Center • Burning Acre • Davidson Democrats • Divine Rebel • Mancamerson • Metro Police • My Cluck Hut • Nashville Black Pride • Rebellius Unicorn Cosmetics

• Sugardaddy’s Candle and Body Co • Teacy Holmes Art & Apparel • The Body Shop at Home • The Nashville Blanket Project • The Table • True You TN • Veteran for Peace, Nashville • Xevaduds

6th from 10am - 4pm.

However, due to Covid, the decision was made to cancel the in-person event for this year but move forward with our Virtual HoliGAY Market. With that

being said, visit the event website, marketplace. weconnect.lgbt, beginning October 15. There you will find local crafters, artisans, businesses and a few nonprofits. n

October-November 2021 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 25

pets

Bark in the Park Pet and family fun annual event returns to Wilson County

By Selena Haynes @WeConnect_LGBT

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oing 21 years strong, the annual Bark in the Park, hosted by New Leash on Life (NLOL), returns Saturday, October 23 from 11am - 4pm. The event will be held at the Wilson County Fairgrounds in Lebanon and this year the fundraiser will benefit both NLOL and the Empower Me Center.

According to the Empower Me Center, nearly one-fifth of Americans have a physical, sensory, or intellectual disability.

In Tennessee alone, the Department of Education reported 128,439 registered children ages 3-21 with disabilities (excluding private and homeschooled students).

Services and programs available to those with disabilities are limited in Tennessee.

Empower Me Center started off as a day camp in 1999 and has grown to offer weekly summer camps and year-round activities for more than 2100 individuals with special needs.

“Bark in the Park has always been a

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pet-friendly, family-friendly event. Adding “& Family Fun Day” and partnering with Empower Me does a few things: Brings Empower Me Center supporters, participants & their families an opportunity for accessible activities in our community; Increases inclusion, diversity & equity for members of our community; Provides an opportunity to attendees of the event to learn about another fantastic nonprofit agency of Wilson County; and, we see the partnership as a great way to improve the kid’s area of our event. We’re experts at dogs, but we could use some help in improving our games, attractions & activities for children,” said Angela Chapman, Executive Director of NLOL.

GO TO IT

Visit https://www.newleashonline.org/bark-in-the-park for more information.

You can find out more about Empower Me Center by visiting https://www.empowermecenter.com/.

pets

Attendees can expect to see a variety of vendors, games, and food trucks. There will also be a pet parade, costume contest, and the ever-loved lure course along with a free rabies vaccination clinic.

NLOL intakes over 700 animals yearly from Wilson County and those from outside of Wilson County as space allows. Fundraisers such as Bark in the Park provide muchneeded funds for the organization to take care of these animals, provide education, raise awareness and help the community at large.

Bring your fur babies or even just yourself and enjoy a fun-filled day. n

Covid precautions include social distancing signage and hand sanitizer stations. Masks are encouraged and will be available.

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community

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community

Fall Fun Pumpkins, pups and ghosts, oh my!

By Selena Haynes @WeConnect_LGBT

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F

PHOTOS COURTESY CHEEKWOOD

all is my most favorite time of the year. The heat from Summer has broken, the changing colors of the leaves and the sky are so beautiful, and my birthday is in September!

What’s not to love?

It’s also a time of fun-filled adventures with family and friends. From corn mazes and haunted fun to football, feasts and firepits, there’s always something to do. Here are some places and events to check out.

Cheekwood Harvest September 18 – October 31 https://cheekwood.org/calendar/cheekwood-harvest/ With over 5,000 mums, pumpkins for purchase, pumpkin house, and special themes, we’re celebrating all things fall with 6 weeks of harvest activities and entertainment!

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community

Boo at the Zoo October 15-30 https://www.nashvillezoo.org/upcoming-events

PHOTO COURTESY NASHVILLE ZOO

Boo at the Zoo at the Nashville Zoo begins on Friday, October 15, 2021, and takes place on 14 select dates through Saturday, October 30, 2021, from 5:00pm to 9:00pm. The nights feature carnival games, bounce houses, a corn pit, a hayride, trick-or-treating, animal shows, science shows, and more. Tickets are $20 on Fridays through Sundays and $18 on Tuesdays through Thursdays. Children under age 2 are free.

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community

Dog Day Festival October 16 https://nashvillehumane.org/dogday/ Nashville Humane’s annual Dog Day Festival presented by Mars Petcare is on Saturday, October 16, 2021, from 10:00am to 4:00pm at Centennial Park. There will be a live broadcast, food trucks, fun events, contests, a beer garden, and surprises throughout the day. Advance tickets range from $8-$49.

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community

Pumpkinfest in Franklin October 30 https://williamsonheritage.org/event/36th-annualpumpkinfest-2021/

PHOTO COURTESY HERITAGE FOUNDATION

The annual Pumpkinfest is on Saturday, October 30, 2021, from 10:00am to 6:00pm in downtown Franklin.

The street festival attracts over 65,000 attendees and features costume contests, children’s activities, food and drink vendors, artisans, and live entertainment.

Admission is free.

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community

PHOTO COURTESY SHADOW CHASERS

Downtown Murfreesboro’s 10 Most Haunted Locations October (Fridays & Saturdays) https://www.shadowchasersmidtn.org/ It’s that time again! Time to learn about the 10 most haunted places in downtown Murfreesboro. Spots are limited so grab your tickets today!

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community

Haunted Canoe the Caney October 1 - November 13 http://www.canoethecaney.com/haunted-canoe-trip.html

PHOTO COURTESY NASHVILLE ZOO

Trips are available Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights starting October 2021. Trips run each hour from 6:00 pm – 10:00 pm. Reservations must be made and paid in advance! Call for package details.

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community

Tennessee State Haunted Museum October 23 https://tnmuseum.org/calendar-ofevents/event/2201741 A free event, the Haunted Museum Storytelling Festival brings together some of the state’s finest storytellers to deliver chilling ghost stories from Tennessee’s past for all ages.

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community

Creepy Hollow Haunted Woods September 25 - October 31 https://www.creepyhollowwoods.com/

Haunted Woods - Darkness falls on a moon lit night. The eerie woods are full of fright.

You’re scared to death but still you follow..... along the trails of Creepy Hollow. Venture through over ten terrifying acres of haunted woods crawling with creatures of the night!

Featuring Clayton’s cave and the Creepers school bus. Not for the faint of heart.

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PHOTO COURTESY NASHVILLE ZOO

Haunted House - This haunted house in Spring Hill near Nashville has bonechilling scenes! Brace yourself as the fortune teller warns you of the fate that awaits you. Be held captive in the dungeon of tortured souls. Behold the execution room. It’s electrifying!! Room after room of heart-pounding frights you won’t soon forget! A night of fun & fright!

community

Travellers Rest Twisted Tennessee October 22 https://www.eventbrite.com/e/twisted-tennesseetickets-166949435255 Take a journey through the twisted tales of Tennessee history, listen to both sides of each dark story from the participants themselves, and decide for yourself…guilty or innocent, liar or truth-teller, murderer or victim? After your guided journey through Tennessee’s dark past, sit a spell at the Two Tales Tavern with 18th-century murder ballads and games of chance to calm your nerves.

Haunted Bell Witch Cave & Farm Saturday and Sundays in September and October http://www.bellwitchcave.com/ No supernatural story in American history is more famous than that of the Bell Witch. In fact, tales of the spirit were so widespread that they caught the attention of a General and future President, Andrew Jackson.

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social justice

Born Perfect: The Fight to Stop Conversion Therapy

By Lauren Means @LaurenInMidTenn

L

C

onversion therapy, reparative therapy, sexual orientation change efforts (SOCE) — these are all terms used to describe the discredited practice to convert a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity.

Every major medical and mental health organization has condemned the use of conversion therapy. Conversion therapy can lead to shame, anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation.

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Conversion therapy includes a range of practices from talk therapy to shock and aversion treatments, all of which are considered harmful regardless of whether or not they cause immediate physical harm. In the US, we now typically see conversion therapy in the form of talk therapy, religious-based counseling, and group therapies.

Conversion therapy got its start back in the late 1900s when the general consensus was homosexuality was deviant behavior that needed to be “cured.” With time, it was proven that homosexuality wasn’t an illness at all and certainly didn’t need to be treated.

For more information about conversion therapy, how to get involved in halting the practice, and for resources for survivors of conversion therapy, visit www. glaad.org/conversiontherapy or www.nclrights.org/our-work/ born-perfect/.

Pray the Gay Away In 1973, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) removed homosexuality as

social justice

a psychiatric disorder. This was also a time when the gay rights movement was gaining momentum. This led to conversion therapy securing a footing in the religious arenas.

Numerous ex-gay ministries and conversion camps popped up in the ‘70s through the early 2000s. Many of these are now defunct as the leaders, many who were “ex-gay” came forward to denounce the practice of conversion therapy.

This doesn’t mean that the practice stopped. There are still professionally licensed therapists who use conversion tactics and there are also still religious leaders who boast how they have successfully converted parishioners to become ex-gay.

What’s left behind in the wake of these now-discredited therapies are people who feel shame, pain, rejection, and self-loathing. Many times, the individuals who are put through conversion therapy have thoughts about or attempt suicide.

Conversion therapy affects people across the LGBTQ+ community. Cis-gender LGB people who experienced conversion therapy were almost twice as likely to think about and/or attempt suicide compared to their peers who hadn’t experienced conversion therapy according to a 2020 study published by the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law. A 2019 study published in JAMA Psychiatry found that transgender people who are exposed to conversion

efforts anytime in their lives were two times more likely to attempt suicide while those who were subjected to the practice before age 10 were four times more likely to report lifetime suicide attempts.

This is in comparison with transgender people who have never experienced efforts by professionals to convert their gender identity.

Outlawing Harmful “Therapy” Twenty states and the District of Columbia all have state laws that protect minors from conversion therapy.

Five states and Puerto Rico have partial protections through county, municipality and community ordinances.

There are no protections in 24 states and four US territories; this includes Tennessee, Kentucky, Arkansas, Missouri, Mississippi, Georgia, and Alabama. The state of Florida has partial protections but those have been temporarily suspended under a decision by the Eleventh Circuit Court of Appeals.

From the time the first law was passed to stop conversion therapy on minors, there’ve been lawsuits filed to try to stop them from being enforced.

Each and every time they were struck down until the case of Otto v. City of Boca Raton, where the Eleventh Circuit held that local bans on juvenile conversion therapy violated the First Amendment.

Dr. Robert Otto and Dr. Julie Hamilton are licensed therapists who practiced speech-based SOCE therapy and they argued that prohibiting speech-based SOCE violated their First Amendment rights. Their motion was initially denied so they appealed and the court of appeals reversed the decision. It’s still pending on what the next move will be in Florida.

There was success this year in August when the United States District Court for the Western District of Washington dismissed a legal challenge seeking to invalidate the State of Washington’s 2018 law protecting minors from conversion therapy by state-licensed therapists.

Much like the case in Flordia, therapist Brian Tingley argued that the law violated the free speech and religious liberty rights of therapists who wish to perform conversion therapy on minors. The court dismissed the case citing that Washington has a compelling interest “in protecting the physical and psychological well-being of minors, including lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth, and in protecting its minors against exposure to serious harm caused by conversion therapy.”

It’s unclear if this will ever reach the Supreme Court, but it’s imperative the push to bar conversion therapy continues. n

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travel

PHOTOS COURTESY OF JOEY AMATO; DISCOVERATLANTA.COM

Chic Page 40 | weconnect.lgbt | October-November 2021

travel

cago It’s your kind of place.

Blogger Joey Amato finally writes about one of his favorite cities

By Joey Amato @thatprideguy

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hicago is my kind of town… it really is.

I’ve been to Chicago more times than I can count over the years, however, I’ve never written a Pride Journeys article about the city.

Well, it’s about time I did!

I planned my visit to the Windy City to coincide with Market Days, one of the city’s premier LGBTQ festivals. Since relocating to Nashville and then Indy, I’d heard dozens of stories about this event from friends from around the country

who would travel to Chicago specifically to attend. This year’s festival was going to be iconic since last year’s event was canceled due to the pandemic.

Trixie Mattel, Todrick Hall and Greyson Chance were among the headliners performing this year, however, I was most excited about seeing Lisa Lisa, Jody Watley and Ty Herndon.

My friend Tyler and I arrived on the first day of the festival and it appeared to be similar to a pride event.

Vendors lined the street selling everything from artwork to sunglasses as well as some other more risqué items. It didn’t take long for us to run into a few friends, some of which I hadn’t seen in many years. Market Days is what you make it. You can spend the afternoon strolling

Halsted Street or you can skip the street fair and head straight to the bars, clubs, and circuit events in the evening.

Take some time the next morning to check out 21c Museum Hotel’s two-story art gallery space or maybe find time for a quick workout in their fitness center before heading to Hutch American Bistro for brunch.

Hutch is located off the same red line stop as Boystown so it’s quite convenient. I ordered the smoked salmon avocado toast which came with fruit

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salad. It was light yet filling and the perfect way to begin the day. We went back to Hutch for happy hour on a different day and sampled a few additional items including the guacamole + queso and Chicago meatballs.

The restaurant offers a daily happy hour menu consisting of half-off select appetizers as well as $3 champagne. Yes, please!

When in Chicago, you’d be remiss if you didn’t visit one of the city’s numerous cultural institutions. Since the Field Museum and Shedd Aquarium are in the same complex, we decided to visit both in the same morning.

Tyler and I are both huge animal lovers, so we headed straight to the beluga whale and penguin habitats.

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READ THE TRAVEL BLOG Joey Amato is the founder and publisher of Pride Journeys, an LGBTQ travel website and syndicated column.

For more LGBTQ travel ideas, please visit pridejourneys.com.

To book your next Chicago gaycation, visit www.Orbitz.com/Pride

Beluga whales are one of my favorite mammals, so it was wonderful to see them up close.

The Field Museum is home to one of the largest (and best in my opinion) dinosaur exhibitions in the country.

The chronological display brings guests through history and mass extinctions leading up to the birth of dinosaurs.

The Field Museum is also home to Sue, the largest and most complete T-Rex skeleton ever discovered. This

is a must-see for any dinosaur lover.

After a fun-filled day of partying, head back to the 21c Museum Hotel located in the River North neighborhood, about a 25-minute red-line commute from Boystown.

The boutique property is one of the newer hotels in the 21c family. I’ve stayed at their properties in Oklahoma City, Nashville and Kansas City and they never disappoint.

The 21c Chicago was kind enough to provide me with

travel

a wonderful corner suite as well as their Love is Love package, which included a pride tank top, perfect to wear during the festivities.

We decided to walk back to our hotel after visiting the museum as the weather was perfect for a leisurely stroll along the lake – until it started raining. With nowhere to take cover, we just admired the beauty of Chicago’s architectural wonders as well as the sculptures in Millennium Park including the worldfamous Bean.

Speaking of walking, the city offers free walking tours through Chicago Greeter.

Local guides volunteer their time to take guests on customized walking tours of the city. We decided to focus our tour on architecture and landmarks. Our knowledgeable guide took us to some places we would have never known about if we’d set out on our own.

While we took a journey through the North Loop, the Greeter Tour service can take visitors through many of the 77 neighborhoods in the Chicago area.

Before heading back to Boystown, grab a quick bite at Tied House. I was thoroughly impressed by both the food and service of this establishment. Tyler and I shared a few items including the Black Bean Hummus prepared with salsa roja and lime crema as well as the Watermelon & Bigeye Tuna which came with pickled ginger and a koji vinaigrette. The Short Rib Risotto was served with roasted sweet corn Risotto, cherry tomato, and summer

squash. While the short rib portion was a bit fatty for my liking, I found the risotto part to be incredibly flavorful and cooked to perfection. I’d order the risotto by itself next time…it was so good!

Boystown of course is the heart of Chicago’s LGBTQ community. There are dozens of shops, restaurants, businesses, and nightlife venues catering to every gay under the sun. Some of my favorites include Sidetrack, Hydrate Nightclub, Splash and Progress Bar. What many tourists don’t know is that Chicago has a gay beach. While it may not have the waves of Fort Lauderdale, Hollywood Beach attracts some of the most beautiful people in the Midwest and is only about a 10-minute Uber ride from Boystown. With only a few months of beach weather per year, locals flock to Hollywood Beach every

opportunity possible to soak up the sun.

There is way too much to see in Chicago to fit everything into a weekend, especially when you include a festival as well. I am going to make an effort to visit more frequently, especially since it’s so close to my home in Indianapolis.

Enjoy the Journey!

Joey

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PHOTOS COURTESY XXX

culture

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culture

Can an old dog teach

YOU new tricks?

Award-winning author shares a variety of lessons and interactions in ‘Things Lady Likes’

Y

By CONNECT Staff @LaurenInMidTenn

L

ou know the phrase about teaching an old dog a new trick, yet in the new children’s book “Things Lady Likes,” a senior dog named Lady teaches young readers a variety of concepts, all through sharing what she likes.

The interactive design of the book shares something that Lady likes, encouraging the reader to engage the child by asking a series of questions about what they just learned.

An example that introduces diversity and inclusion is an illustration of dogs playing at a dog park. We learn that Lady likes to play with all kinds of dogs, even ones that don’t look like her. A question then prompts the child to think about people they know that don’t look like them.

The book also addresses adoption when Lady is introducing herself as a former shelter dog who was adopted by her mom.

The book is filled with playful illustrations, sometimes silly, but always intentional. A couple of favorites are Lady enjoying the sunshine and watching her favorite hockey team. The back of the book has several activity pages including coloring pages that elevates this from a typical read-aloud book.

A nice surprise toward the back is a photo collage of the ‘real’ Lady.

Author Donna Drehmann, 2021 Ally Award winner, shares that the creation of this book was her passion project. She explains the concept of the book as a way for young readers to get exposure to topics that otherwise may be difficult to discuss, all through the eyes of a senior dog named Lady. She’s especially proud of the philanthropic aspect - Lady Likes to Give Back - where she partners with local nonprofits by donating books or a portion of book proceeds.

Connect was fortunate enough to speak with Donna and learn more about her book.

What is your inspiration behind writing a book? Is it something you’ve always wanted to do?

I have always wanted to write a book but thought it would be a business book. I didn’t expect to write a children’s book.

What is your inspiration behind this particular book/series?

I started to think about how I could introduce young readers to diverse topics & engage them in conversations in a subtle way. And there are such a variety of topics that I want to create a series. For example, you only see Lady and her mom, but she has other family members to introduce. And I am currently working on Things Lady Likes - Holiday

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culture

xxx

Edition where we share all kinds of holidays with the readers and you will see a wide array of characters.

Why did you decide that adoption and diversity & inclusion would be the focal point behind this book?

Lady is adopted, she is a rescue, so that was easy. I’m a supporter of diversity, inclusion and equity so this was a no-brainer. I work very closely with Nashville Humane each year on their fundraiser “Unleashed,” and have seen many varieties of doggies, including a great dog named Lt. Dan who used wheels to get around. The dog park illustration was a great way to honor all kinds of dogs while gently introducing diversity.

How long have you been thinking about writing a book?

This children’s book had been on my mind for a few months, just after I left a stressful corporate job. I intentionally took a break from the grind to publish the book and work on the next one.

Tell us about Lady. When did she become part of your family? What kind of dog is she?

Lady is 13 years old. She was adopted from Nashville Humane Association by our family when she was 2 years old. We’ve had her in our life for 11 years. She is medium size, a Lab/Pyrenees mix. She loves treats and getting brushed and is a gentle girl.

This book is dedicated to Clementine.

Can you elaborate more about her?

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Clemmy is my friend Marcia’s dog who died very suddenly as I was publishing the book.

Clemmy was tiny but mighty and it was appropriate to dedicate this book to her.

You mentioned doing a series. What would your next book be about? When would you like to have another one ready to go?

The next one is Things Lady Likes - Holiday Edition. I hope to have it published by Halloween!

I see that Lady Likes to Give Back is supporting the Pet Community Center for September. What other organizations will you be working with?

I will be donating books to Ronald McDonald House in October and I hope to work with Old Friends Senior Dog Sanctuary in the future.

Donna and Lady will be doing live readings at Nashville Humane Associations Dog Day on October 16 and hope to continue sharing this book with Nashville. Donna has hopes of getting the book in elementary schools and doing some live readings across Nashville. “I would love to get connected to folks who could make that happen!” she said. Donna also wants to do a Drag Book Reading in the near future. n

CONNECT

This book is best for children ages 3 - 8, and of course for dog lovers of all ages. It’s available exclusively on Amazon.

connect

Shop. Play. Eat. LOCAL!

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