Connect • December 2021-January 2022

december-january 2022 • weconnect.lgbt

Inspire. Empower. Change.

The Equality Issue

ACES

ON TOUR WITH

the

Hello! I’m Kimberly Tromatore.

According to Forbes.com: • LGBT people feel less confident about their financial knowledge than the general population.

• Those who are LGBT make less on average and have less saved for retirement than their straight peers.

• Members of the LGBT community are less likely to be working with a financial professional or advisor or to own financial products.

Change your financial outcome!

Contact me for a free consultation.

C: 615.585.6197 https://linktr.ee/ktromatore

SELENA HAYNES | LAUREN MEANS PUBLISHERS/FOUNDERS Connect Magazine is a product of Connect Media Group, an S&L Companies venture.

Lauren Means CONTENT EDITOR Chris Sanders, Sarah Calise, Joey Amato, Lauren Means, Selena Haynes CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Brian Goins GRAPHIC DESIGNER Noah Tidmore COVER PHOTOGRAPHY Selena Haynes ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE SUBSCRIPTIONS | LOCATIONS To subscribe, visit weconnect.lgbt or call 615.603.6169 or email us at info@weconnect.lgbt.

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WECONNECT.LGBT Visit us online for information about our latest events, or to read all of our latest content and see our latest photo galleries.

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Volume 1 | Issue 3 Connect Magazine Murfreesboro, TN 37128 weconnect.lgbt A part of

A member of

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FROM THE PUBLISHER

Support from our readers motivates us into new year Here we are — getting ready to end another year and begin anew. Reflecting on our first year with Connect, I’m overwhelmed by all the love and support we’ve received from the community. We are truly grateful for you all.

This year we published three digital issues packed full of stories from people in our community. We’re still in the middle of hosting our first ever Virtual HoliGAY Market.

Next year, you can look for that to be an in-person event.

We attended all local Pride celebrations and endured the heat, the wind, the mud and the rain. If we could do it all over again, we’d probably stay home!

(Enter laughing emoji here.) In all seriousness, Lauren and I both love what we do and can’t wait to bring you even more in 2022.

Speaking of 2022, we are hosting our first annual Health Expo specifically designed to meet the needs of the LGBTQ+ community. This event will be held in March, which is also LGBT Health Awareness month. We have other events in the works as well, but I like to leave a little mystery so you’ll have to wait and see. More details to come so be sure to follow us on our social media channels and visit our website for current information on all of Connect’s events, virtual issues and news.

In this issue, we talk with The Aces who will be coming to the Cannery Ballroom on December 15. Be sure to get your tickets. We also highlight local artist, Anthony Lofties, who is a powerhouse of ideas. We take a trip to Kalamazoo, Michigan with Joey Amato who always finds the best places to go in every city he visits.

But the premise behind this issue is speaking to EQUALITY. Dez Stephens spoke with us about her journey into Accidental Activism and her fight for equality, not only in the US, but Honduras. And, Chris Sanders, Executive Director of the Tennessee Equality Project, implores a Call To Action for Tennesseans as the next legislative session begins in January. Last year, the Tennessee legislature passed several discriminatory bills. We can’t allow this to continue.

This is where YOU come in. Get involved in whatever way you can. There are so many different ways to volunteer with TEP and other organizations. As my good friend Terry Demars used to say: “Advocate Your Passion.”

Let’s do this and Let’s Connect!

Co-founder and Publisher

n Read our virtual issue online at weconnect.lgbt/issues.

contents

in this issue

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CONTENT

6 TRAVEL Kalamazoo, MIchigan boasts plenty of options

20 COMMUNITY Meet Dez Stephens, founder and CEO of Radiant Coaches Academy, a division of Radiant Health Institute.

12 HEALTH Preventative care is important self-care measures.

24 PETS Tips on what to do and NOT to do when walking your pup.

3 Letter from the publisher

contents

24 FEATURES 10 SPORTS Celebrating 25 years of Nashville Women’s Rugby 16 COVER STORY The Aces’ Cristal Ramirez talks about life on the road, equality in music 34 CULTURE Anthony Lofties followed his vision from small-town West Tennessee to success in a clothing line, music and an online series.

16 NEWS 26 POLITICS Meet Dr. Jason Martin, a critical care physician who is running for governor of Tennessee.

30 POLITICS Find the LGBTQ+ elected officials in our state.

32 SOCIAL JUSTICE Human Rights Day is Dec. 10: Learn about this year’s theme and future goals.

December-January 2022 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 5

PHOTOS COURTESY OF JOEY AMATO

travel

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travel

Kalamazoo, Michigan

Lesser-known city delivers with options for tourists: food, shopping and nightlife

By Joey Amato @thatprideguy

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es, Kalamazoo is a real place! I personally never questioned its realness but I did see a ton of souvenirs with that slogan, so I guess that may be a question on some of your minds. Kalamazoo is located in southwest Michigan, not too far from Grand Rapids and Saugatuck, two destinations I reported on a few years ago.

Kalamazoo is one of those cities that you may not know a lot about — which is actually really exciting for me. I love to travel to those types of destinations so I have absolutely zero expectations going into the

trip. I really didn’t know what to expect. This may make some people nervous, but I love going on new adventures.

My guest, Devin, and I drove to the city from Indianapolis. We were running a bit early, so we decided to swing by the Lillian Anderson Arboretum for a quick hike and to see the beautiful fall foliage.

The 140-acre property is a private facility owned

by Kalamazoo College and can easily be passed if you aren’t paying attention. Once you enter the property you are drawn in by its natural beauty. We were lucky enough to have visited at the perfect time of year to get those Instagram-friendly photos of the beautiful fall colors.

The goal of this trip was a fall getaway, so Devin and I wanted to indulge in all the fall activities humanly possible in two days. We stopped by Kalamazoo Candle Company located in the heart of downtown. Here you can either purchase the

perfect fall-themed candle or, if you are brave enough, you can make your own.

The homemade candles, which are very affordable, take about an hour to make.

While you wait for your candle to settle, you can visit the dozens of quaint boutiques along Kalamazoo Mall — it’s a street, not an indoor mall. My candle was exactly what I was hoping it would be. I’m not sure what I put in it and will certainly not be able to recreate the scent, but I love it.

Conveniently located a block from the mall is

December-January 2022 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 7

travel

Radisson Plaza Hotel, a modern property complete with tons of amenities including multiple dining options as well as a Starbucks. Check into the Upjohn Suite, a magnificent room consisting of a full living room, dining room, kitchen, master bedroom and two bathrooms. This suite was larger than my loft in Indy. The property offers a huge pool, fitness center and sauna and really is in the heart of downtown. Almost every activity we had planned was a quick five or ten minute walk from the hotel.

Kalamazoo loves its beer and Bell’s Brewery is one of the local favorites. Although not gay-owned, the brewery is a huge supporter of the LGBTQ community as well as the local pride events. If you visit, make sure you check out the gift shop and ask for one of their rainbow beer sweatshirts.

You can either grab a quick bite at Bell’s or head back over to the mall where you

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READ THE TRAVEL BLOG Joey Amato is the founder and publisher of Pride Journeys, an LGBTQ travel website and syndicated column.

For more LGBTQ travel ideas, please visit pridejourneys.com.

To book your next Kalamazoo gaycation, visit www.Orbitz.com/Pride

will find an Italian restaurant called Rustica. Devin began his meal with an incredible wedge salad while I opted for the braised heirloom beet salad with currant, hazelnut, ricotta and port glacé. My salad was so large I decided not to finish it as I wanted to save room for the main entrée, bouillabaisse, a seafood stew made with shrimp, scallops, mussels, salmon, and potatoes in a delicious saffron broth. This is one of the items I always look for on a menu when I travel and is wonderful on a cool fall evening. It’s the perfect sharable entrée and this time was no different.

We had to order extra bread to soak up the broth.

We didn’t mind consuming that many carbs at dinner because we were booked on the Haunted History of Kalamazoo walking tour organized by Paranormal Michigan. The nearly twohour tour snakes you around downtown to some of the city’s most haunted locations and buildings. You don’t get to go inside the buildings but the knowledgeable tour guide recounts stories of paranormal activity that has taken place throughout history, in some cases dating back to the 1800s.

After a wonderful night’s rest back at the Radisson Plaza Hotel, head to Air Zoo, one of the most unique attractions in the

travel

Mid-West. Air Zoo is a Smithsonian-affiliated museum containing over 100 air and space artifacts.

The experience begins with some of the earliest forms of flight including a Curtis Pusher from 1911. Guests journey on a chronological history of aviation, up until the modern age and space era. Some personal favorites included the Lockheed SR71B Blackbird, McDonnell F-4E Phantom 2 and the Grumman Cougar. This is the perfect place for LGBTQ families as well. The staff and volunteers at Air Zoo have undergone extensive diversity training and are welcoming to all!

After Air Zoo, head to Henderson Castle, a magnificent mansion completed in 1895 by Frank Henderson, a successful Kalamazoo businessman.

The Queen Anne-style

house was designed by C. A. Gombert of Milwaukee, Wisconsin and constructed for $72,000, a lofty sum for the time. The castle is known as the Jewel of Kalamazoo and was voted one of the top historic inns in America.

Guests can stay at the inn or visit for one of their popular murder mystery dinners.

Henderson Castle also offers Sunday Brunch, Afternoon Tea and is available for private events.

Before heading out on the town, grab dinner at Theo & Stacy’s, a family-owned Greek restaurant originally established in my hometown of Flushing, New York, before relocating to Kalamazoo in the 1970s. The menu contains traditional Greek favorites including mousaka, grape leaves and gyro’s but if you want to sample a bit of everything, try the Greek Combo Plate.

No trip would be complete without visiting the local LGBTQ establishment. Club Vortex is technically located in Blue Dolphin restaurant, but on Saturday evenings, the restaurant converts into the hottest spot in KZOO. Devin and I arrived a bit early to get the lay of the land and meet some of the locals. The owner of the club introduced himself to us and asked us if we wanted to be the spotlight dancers of the night. The evening’s theme was wigs & heels and even though we had neither, the locals still made us feel welcome. It was an unexpected memory that made this trip so much fun.

Joey

n

December-January 2022 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 9

PHOTOS COURTESY NASHVILLE WOMEN’S RUGBY FOOTBALL CLUB

sports

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sports

Shared strength 25 Years of Nashville Women’s Rugby

By Sarah Calise @SarahCalise

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his year is historic for Nashville’s long tradition of amateur sports.

Twenty-five years ago, the Nashville Women’s Rugby Football Club was founded. The green and gold Stone Lions built a tradition of toughness, camaraderie and fun since 1996.

Despite being named after Chattanooga’s once beloved and now-closed Stone Lion Tavern, the Lions have captured the hearts of many women in Nashville.

Over the years, women from all walks of life, skill levels, and sexualities have joined the rugby club and discovered instant friendship, and they have done everything in their power to keep the team afloat. Today, the Stone Lions compete in Division 2 of the True South Rugby Union and participate as a member club of USA Rugby, but it hasn’t always been this way. There have been ups and downs in membership, financial instability, joint teams with Knoxville and Chattanooga, and championship dreams destroyed and fulfilled. Since the mid-2000s, both the women’s and men’s rugby clubs developed a greater focus on conditioning and intense

competition. The teams have seen steady growth and the women’s serious play paid off. The Stone Lions won the True South D2 Championship in 2014.

The inclusiveness of rugby makes it an attractive sport to learn. Women of all shapes and sizes bring value to the game, and Nashville Women’s Rugby welcomes everyone from newbies to former college athletes to join the club. There are three levels of membership: returning, rookie, and social. Returning players pay $75 in dues and help show the rookies the ropes.

All new players — the rookies — pay $50 in dues and gain a whole bunch of new friends.

Then there’s the recently introduced social membership for people like me who cannot or do not want to play but want to join in on the socializing aspects. Think of the social membership as being an ultra-supporter of the club and the dues are only $25.

The Stone Lions are great competitors, but they enjoy a good time, too. They take part in charity beer busts and pint nights, Nashville Pride events, team dinners, trivia nights, and their annual King of the Night fundraiser, where the team dresses and performs in drag. They also volunteer in the community for organizations like the Nashville Humane Society. n

CONNECT

Interested in joining or watching the Stone Lions? Check out their website nashvillewomensrugby.com and be sure to follow them on Instagram and Facebook. During the season, you can catch them at practice on Tuesday and Thursday nights at Dudley Park and playing home matches at Hendersonville Rugby Complex.

December-January 2022 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 11

health

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health

Healthcare is

self-care Taking care of yourself means preventative and maintenance care

By Lauren Means, RN @LaurenInMidTenn

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elf-care is oftentimes seen as an indulgence — spa days, expensive skincare routines, and meditation. Self-care, however, is much more than luxury time. In fact, the World Health Organization (WHO) defines self-care as “the ability of individuals, families and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and to cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a healthcare provider.”

Preventative and routine maintenance healthcare is a main component of selfcare. The way the U.S. healthcare system has been set up, people typically only visit the doctor when something is wrong. There

are many factors that can play a role in this including lack of access to care providers, lack of insurance, lack of time or resources, bad prior experience with a healthcare provider, and even fear of what might be found.

As we know, preventative self-care can reduce your risk of getting sick, detect potential health conditions or diseases early in their course, increase chances for treatments and cures while limiting possible complications down the road. This increases lifespan, can reduce healthcare costs long term, and allow one to effectively help others.

With all that being said, the LGBTQ+ community faces additional challenges in healthcare. LGBTQ+ patients may face inadequate healthcare, unique medical needs, chronic diseases and higher rates of mental health conditions. Oftentimes patients might not feel comfortable coming out to their healthcare providers or might even face blatant discrimination within the healthcare system.

For those lucky enough to find affirming providers, the knowledge of the specific healthcare needs for the LGBTQ+ population can be lacking as most healthcare programs cover little to no content specific to caring for this population.

When you are looking for a provider, or even during your appointment, it’s perfectly » ok to ask about the provider’s familiarity

December-January 2022 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 13

health

with LGBTQ+ health and if they have any specific training in LGBTQ+ health. It’s also important to advocate for your care. While it should not be the patient’s responsibility to teach healthcare providers the specific needs of the community, if there is screening you need, ask for it.

There are some basic screenings that should be done on an annual or semi-annual basis. This includes an overall physical/ screening, eye exam, dental cleaning, and mental health screening. You should also have an open, frank conversation with your care provider about your sexual health. Your provider needs to know the types of sexual activity you engage in to best educate you on safe-sex practices, sexually transmitted infection (STI) prevention and testing, and if pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) might be right for you.

Cancer screenings are also necessary and

sometimes overlooked for members of the LGBTQ+ population. For example, anyone who has a cervix should be screened for cervical cancer and anyone with a prostate should be screened for prostate cancer.

Vaccinations should also be a part of your routine healthcare. Hepatitis A and B, human papillomavirus (HPV), MMR, meningitis, influenza, and now COVID-19 vaccines are just a few that should be discussed with your provider.

You will have the opportunity to meet LGBTQ+ affirming healthcare providers in March when Connect hosts its first annual LGBTQ+ Health and Wellness Expo.

March also happens to be LGBTQ+ Health Awareness month. We invite you to attend and take control of your health. Time, date and location are to be determined. To stay updated, follow us on social media or visit our website. n

*The preceding information is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen, and never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it.

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cover story

PHOTOS COURTESY OF NOAH TIDMORE

A

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cover story

ACES the

seeking world domination Lead vocalist Cristal Ramirez talks about life on the road, equality in the music industry, and her hopes for LGBTQ+ youth

By Selena Haynes @sjhaynes321

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eadlining your own national tour doesn’t leave a lot of free time.

The Aces know this well.

The band, comprised of guitarist Katie Henderson, bassist McKenna Petty, and sisters Alisa Ramirez (drums) and Cristal Ramirez (lead vocals and guitars), are in the midst of their second headlining tour.

Cristal was kind enough to take some time out of her busy schedule to speak with Connect about the band, being on the road, and how they hope to inspire and uplift the LGBTQ+ community.

How old were you when you started playing music?

We started playing music together when we were like ten years old — so very young. We were just babies!

We got into it because we’re all best friends who went to the same schools together and started playing music when we were really young.

childlike in the approach.

We’ve all just been sitting down in the studio in a room together and like jamming and writing. It’s been a lot more fluid this time around and we’ll see how that evolves. »

What is the creative process for writing your songs?

The creative process for writing our songs has typically been that Alisa and I will go into a studio with a producer and we will write a song together. If we all really like it, the girls will come in later and we’ll finish it with the band. For the music we’ve been creating lately, it’s been a lot more carefree and very

GO TO IT

Go see The Aces live Dec. 15 at 7 p.m. at Cannery Ballroom, 1 Cannery Row, Nashville. For Tickets, click here.

December-January 2022 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 17

cover story

Being on the road for your tour with back-to-back shows, how do you reenergize?

Oh my God, so that’s a great question because, to be honest, I don’t really know yet. [laughing] I am trying to figure out how we reenergize. I think mainly what we do is make sure that we schedule enough “off” days.

At least every two or three shows we make sure that we have a day off and then we just kind of lay low. We nap.

We get dinner together and just kind of do very lowenergy activities. Like we will see a movie or we do yoga.

I’m trying to stay off my phone more and more on my days off just so my brain has a break. So yeah... I’ll let you know when we nail that cuz I don’t know if we have yet — but we are trying!

What do you plan to do after your North American tour?

We finish touring right before Christmas so we’re going to go home. We’re going to eat a bunch of Christmassy snacks and food, then we’re going to sleep and then we’re going to do it all over again.

Our upcoming issue is all about equality. How do you feel The Aces is making an impact on equality in the music industry?

I think that we’re doing our best to just be, you know, ourselves and to keep showing up. We are four women and three of four of us are queer [McKenna is a

Page 18 | weconnect.lgbt | October-November 2021

strong ally] and we are on stages and opening for all different types of bands. Our band existing and being on stages, getting up on stages every night and being out and proud and on stage talking about queerness and talking about the fact that we are all women is hopefully making an impact on equality in the music industry. I just think we are trying our best to bring up other all-female bands and put them on our stages together — changing the narrative from trying to compete against one another to we are friends and building a massive strong community that all uplifts each other.

You all have tremendous influence on LGBTQ+ youth. What is it you hope they see/learn from you as individuals and/or a band?

I just hope they feel seen and heard and safe and loved when they are around us.

You know we come from a small suburb in Utah, a very religious suburb, and it was difficult to be taken seriously and to be respected in that town as, not just queer women but before we were out, as women who wanted to tour and travel and play music as a full-time career.

There was definitely some type of mixed opinions on that and I think that hopefully by doing what we do we can show other young women or queer individuals that they can do what we did. They can break out of any preconceived ideas or projections put onto them by the society they are in if their society isn’t accepting.

So I hope that they just feel like they can do whatever the fuck they want!

What advice would you give LGBTQ+ artists trying to break into the music industry?

Find your people. Speak from your heart and find the people that really fuck with you because they’re out there. It’s not going to be everybody but it’s going to be a lot of people. It’s going to be more people than you think. And the more authentic you can be to yourself and just speaking from your heart and soul, those people will show up — I promise. Just make your best music. Just be as outspoken and proud and yourself as possible.

What are your aspirations for The Aces?

World mother-fucking domination! We want to do everything. We want to be on the cover of Rolling Stone. We want to be playing arenas. We want to do it all. Obviously, ultimately we want to remain happy and make the music we really love. We want to keep connecting with our people but we would love to do it on the biggest scale we can possibly do. So yeah. n

MORE INFORMATION The Aces are about halfway through their 24 city “Under My Influence” North American Tour. To see the tour dates and to purchase tickets visit theacesofficial.com.

cover story

“We want to do everything. We want to be on the cover of Rolling Stone. We want to be playing arenas.

We want to do it all.

Obviously, ultimately we want to remain happy and make the music we reallly love.”

December-January 2022 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 19

PHOTO COURTESY OF DEZ STEPHENS

community

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community

It begins with you

By Selena Haynes and Lauren Means @LaurenInMidTenn @sjhaynes321

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ome people have their life mapped out from the time they are in elementary school. Some people figure it out along the way. For others, like Dez Stephens, their calling finds them.

Originally from Chicago, Dez says she came from a blue-collar neighborhood.

“My family was lower middle class. [It was] a very paycheck to paycheck, penny-pinching, handto-mouth existence, but it taught me a lot about the value of hard work and

money,” she recalls. She is now a humanitarian coach, a social entrepreneur, a people’s advocate, and a planetary activist.

She moved to Nashville in 1993 and after about a decade of living here, she says a colleague came up to her at work and told her she would make an amazing life coach.

“I thought, ‘Really, why me?’ and I was surprised because I wasn’t a great listener. I think

she saw in me compassion and resourcefulness. She encouraged me to go to school for it because I would learn how to listen,” recalls Stephens.

Dez explained that when she was younger she knew she wanted to help others but didn’t know what that was going to look like. “I didn’t want to go into education or healthcare or social work or therapy,” she recollects but

CONNECT

For more information on Dez Stephens and Radiant Coaches Academy visit DezStephens.com.

Radiant Health Institute is a certified LGBT Business Enterprise with the National LGBT Chamber of Commerce.

December-January 2022 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 21

community

says, “I knew I wanted to help people.”

Stephens remembers her son being three at the time when her partner asked her if she had considered starting her own business, “He said, ‘you know all that money you make helping your clients make money and become famous — why don’t you start your own company and do that for yourself?’”

She said her first thought when he said that was “Wow, I should start a coach training school because as a coach I’m constantly asked the question like ‘Oh how can I become a coach or what school should I go to?” In April 2012, Dez started a pilot program at Vanderbilt with 22 students. From there, she founded Radiant Coaches Academy, a sister company to her coaching company Radiant Health Institute.

Dez has been a professional coach now for 16 years and for the last 10 years has trained, certified and credentialed nearly 600 coaches in over 15 countries.

Coaching has filled her desire to help people.

New Opportunities The move to expand her coach training internationally started with an invitation to visit Honduras in 2013 from a

colleague who worked for the United Nations. “It was the first time I had ever left the country,” Dez says. She knew it was an impoverished country and noticed women there did not seem to have many job opportunities.

She spoke with her colleague who invited her there and asked what she could do to help this situation. Her friend encouraged her to coach-train women there.

Stephens began a pilot program in Honduras with 50 women in 2015.

The program thrived and is now open to anyone who wants to be trained. Her company has also donated over two million dollars in full scholarships to Hondurans.

Dez co-founded the Melanie Gissell Foundation in 2017 with four other Honduran coaches. This foundation offers grief recovery coaching and pain recovery coaching in partnership with the United Nations, hospitals, and universities. The foundation has served over three thousand people in Honduras.

Accidental Activism Dez’s work all stems from personal motivation.

Some, like her work with the Tennessee Prison for Women (TPFW), is the result of family experiences. “My little brother went to prison when he was younger. When he got out he did not have the support services he needed in order to stay out and do well,” says Stephens.

For ten years she worked with the TPFW through a program called Inmate Partner for Better Decisions.

This is an eight-week program where inmate partners attend class and have one-on-one coaching. This is an effort to help women with better decision-making and selfempowerment. Stephens has also worked doing similar programs with Thistle Farms as a life-skills educator and as a volunteer with the Dismas House in Nashville.

Activism can be done through several different mediums. For example, in 2016 she started the journey to becoming the co-executive producer of the documentary film, “End of the Line: The Women of Standing Rock.”

Dez says, “A colleague called me up and said she heard that there were water protectors regarding a pipeline in North Dakota at the Standing Rock Sioux Reservation and asked if I would like to go with her to standing rock and film the footage. I said absolutely and we started filming in April 2016.”

They filmed for over a year and a half and the resulting documentary focused on the women who are the protectors of the water in the Native American tradition and the incredible work they were doing. The time filming these women and their story is part of what she calls accidental activism.

“Sometimes, when you just answer the call to help, you become an activist without realizing it,” explains

PHOTO COURTESY OF TAMARA REYNOLDS

“

I didn’t want to go into education or healthcare or social work or therapy.

Dez Stephens

I knew I wanted to help people.”

Stephens. She further says, “I think we all care about something so it’s easy for all of us to do our part. Whether it is being a visible activist or advocate, writing letters to legislators, walking dogs at dog shelters, or rocking babies at hospitals, I encourage people to follow their hearts and follow their passions and whatever they care about to just be active in it.”

It Begins With You Dez encourages up and coming and existing entrepreneurs alike to practice being ethical entrepreneurs. The example she gives is one of someone who is working at a company but wants to jump off into entrepreneurship. She says, “The logic is typically, ‘I would like to make money on my own doing something I love and when I make a bunch of money I’m going to give back or I’m going to give charity.’ What I say about that is just flip the script of that. Just be of service, in my case it’s coaching pro-bono and this is doing something I love and the money will just logically come. It always does.”

She says being an ethical entrepreneur is also building your business without debt or overhead. “Frankly, to not put stress on yourself as an entrepreneur,” Dez states. She says she loves to talk to people considering entrepreneurship because

she’s learned a lot of mistakes working for other people and seeing their growing pains.

For anyone who wants to become involved in something but doesn’t really know where to start, Dez says, “Just ask yourself ‘What do I care about and who do I care about? Who do I want to serve?’” An example of this is her LGBTQ+ youth coaching at the Oasis Center.

As a two-spirited person, this representation wasn’t something she had as a teenager.

Dez shared a story from when her son was really little and in the hospital. There was a girl in the room next to him that didn’t have any visitors. “It was some kind of violence case within her family and childhood abuse.

I just went in there and brushed her hair, held her hand, and I read to her,” she recollects. She says there are programs at hospitals where you can go read to kids who might not have anyone there.

Dez reiterates the best first step is to find someone or something that you care about and just start being active in it. “It starts with a small simple idea of ‘I want to be of service.’ Then serving a population in need and it trickles out from there,” Dez notes. “The world would be a better place if we all just started caring a lot about ourselves and others.” n

December-January 2022 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 23

pets

Walk this way Tips to make the most of your walks with your pup

By Connect Staff @WeConnect_LGBT

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anuary is walk your pet month. Many times we see walking our dogs as a task or chore that must be done. For our beloved animals though, it’s often the highlight of their day. A good walk is more than just taking the dog out to do their business. It provides exercise, time to bond with their owners, and mental stimulation.

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pets

During these cold, dreary winter days it can be hard to get motivated to get up off the couch and out from under the blankets to go for those walks outdoors.

Sometimes it’s even hard to get your pups motivated too.

It’s important to continue these walks even when the weather outside is frightful. It allows bonding time with your beloved pets doing something they enjoy. It provides needed exercise for you and your animals during the season when routine exercise might be less than normal. This is necessary because all of us, even our pets, get more treats during the holiday months and we need to keep those extra pounds to a minimum. Not to mention walks will help your fido expel pent-up energy from being cooped up in the house more due to weather.

Walks also provide social and training opportunities. You have a chance to encounter friends and neighbors while out on daily strolls which helps keep engagement up. It also gives a chance to keep those commands from getting rusty. A walk is a perfect time to focus on your dog and practice heeling, sitting, staying and following other basic commands.

In order to have a proper, successful walk there are a few things we as owners need to be mindful of when walking our pets. As the American Kennel Club (AKC) points out, there are three common mistakes we humans make when walking our dogs that should be avoided.

First, don’t rush potty breaks. Walks are a chance for your dog to relieve itself while also scoping out who has been in their territory since their last walk. This is a way they can communicate with other animals. All of this sniffing, scratching and marking require concentration and time so giving your dog the chance to do so will help him get the most out of his walks.

This leads to allowing time to sniff and explore their surroundings. Dogs have up to 300 million scent receptors in their noses and have a far larger area of their brain devoted to their sense of smell. Since they experience the world through their noses they want to smell all their environment has to offer.

The AKC explains dragging your dog away from an interesting scent, or asking him to heel the entire way around the block, prevents him from truly taking in everything around him and diminishes the mental stimulation a walk can provide. One way to compromise is to reward short periods of heeling with plenty of breaks to sniff.

Finally, we have the leash pulling. Most dogs want to go, go, go. This means we are often not fast enough for them and some leash pulling can happen. It’s best to not pull back in an effort to gain control because this can lead to a tug-of-war of sorts. This can lead to frustration and even possible damage to your pup’s trachea.

Training your dog to walk with a loose leash is the easiest way to prevent pulling. If pulling starts, redirect the walk and reward good behavior with training treats, positive language, and reinforcing attention. Another good option is to opt for a harness over a traditional collar for walks. It will give you more control and also not cause excessive pressure on your dog’s neck.

So bundle up, get out there and get to walking. Your fur-baby will thank you. n

December-January 2022 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 25

PHOTO COURTESY OF DR. JASON MARTIN

politics

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politics

Together, Tennessee Thrives Hitting the Road with Dr. Jason Martin

By Lauren Means @LaurenInMidTenn

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“W

e are on some rural roads so hopefully the cell phone connection will keep up with us,” said Dr. Jason Martin as he was traveling somewhere between Hancock and Hawkins counties.

He was in the middle of his 95 Counties in 95 Days Tennessee Thrives Tour.

Dr. Martin’s intention with this tour is to hear from people across Tennessee

who are living with the consequences of our current administration. He wants to know what is needed in different communities from the community members in order to form a cohesive plan for his constituents.

He isn’t a politician by trade and hasn’t been deeply involved in politics… until recently. Dr. Martin explained he has always been politically conscious and a political contributor but not behind the microphone. He said that actually intimidated him a bit but he knows he has a unique voice due to his background.

Dr. Martin is a critical care physician who’s been working on the front lines during the COVID-19 pandemic in Sumner

county. It’s his training and experience as a physician that he says gives him a skill set that will allow him to be effective as Governor. “I’m used to dealing with highpressure situations with very serious consequences… life or death consequences,” said Martin.

Due to personal and professional traits that he’s developed during his career, he’s also able to navigate input from several different points of view to arrive at a consensus. He says he is a lifelong student and able to learn the policy issues that he will be charged with. Dr. Martin also offers the fact that he is a listener as a major part of being a leader.

“People are anxious to hear

December-January 2022 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 27

politics

their own voices,” said Martin. “The best leader in the room is the one who is listening.” And that’s who he wants to be.

As for taking the plunge to run for the Democratic ticket for governor, he attributes the enormous loss of life he saw stemming from the pandemic as a catalyst. “It was a process to get to this point in my head,” noted Martin, but he said having to say goodbye to 100s and 100s of patients in his small, 20 bed ICU sealed his decision.

Dr. Martin said an ounce of leadership or any political courage to speak the truth and guide us through it might have changed the outcomes for many Tennesseans. “It’s the lack of leadership that has devastated us with COVID-19, Tennessee being 47th in school funding, and leading in per capita in the country for medical bankruptcies,” explained Martin.

“As the crisis deepened, I realized I wanted to step up and be part of the solution,” Martin added.

Positive Tennessee for Everyone Running on a platform that will include affordable health care, fully-funded public education and job creation, Martin has his sights set on creating a positive Tennessee for everyone. This includes Medicaid expansion. “It is pure politics that we haven’t expanded it yet,” Martin said. He notes that

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“

People are anxious to hear their own voices. The best leader in the room is the one who is listening.”

— Dr. Jason Martin

14 hospitals in Tennessee have closed since 2012, mainly in rural areas “Rural Tennessee is paying the price.”

This hope for a positive Tennessee for everyone also involves standing up in opposition to the “Slate of Hate” that has become a yearly rolls around at the beginning of the legislative session in Tennessee.

“Whether it’s adoption rights for same sex families or the anti-transgender legislation we saw last year, it’s important to stand up and speak about an inclusisve vision for Tennessee,“ Martin stated.

Walking the Walk “That was the rainiest parade I have ever been a part of but the rain did not

stop the love in the crowd,” Dr. Martin remarked when speaking about this year’s Nashville Pride parade. It was something vital to be a part of for Martin. “I was grateful to be a part of it and grateful to have my three daughters and members of my campaign there,” he proudly stated.

“It’s important for the chief executive of the state and responsible citizens to stand and say we are one Tennessee and one community and we are not going to tolerate a government that singles out certain groups for basically persecution,” Dr. Martin proclaimed. His belief is that the current administration brought about the antitransgender bills this year in an effort to hide their

Equity has been our focus from the tornado recovery to the COVID-19 response, access to assistance and support does not look the same for all businesses and communities. We are dedicated to an inclusive and equitable Nashville, where the marginalized have an advocate and support.

Our membership is open to all and we are here for you. Join us today.

We represent over 500+ Corporations, Entrepreneurs, & Small Businesses who want to keep Nashville OPEN & EQUAL.

advocate. educate. connect.

CONNECT

For more information on Dr. Jason Martin and his platform visit https://martinfortn.com/.

He loves hearing from the people he will be serving and can be reached through any of his social media channels found on his website or via email at info@martinfortn.com.

failures when it came to COVID. “They love to throw distractions when they have policy failures,” he said.

In the end. Dr. Martin says he knows we can do better in Tennessee. He explained, “I’m not a politician and I honestly think that’s a

strength. Bill Lee’s failure is not because he hasn’t been a politician for 20 or 30 years. It’s that he has put his priorities in all the wrong places. I am looking forward to creating an inclusive vision to push Tennessee forward.” n

December-January 2022 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 29

politics

The future is OURS

By Connect Staff @WeConnect_LGBT

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W

ith each election comes more LGBTQ+ elected officials who are publicly out.

The Victory Institute is the only national organization dedicated to elevating openly LGBTQ+ leaders who can further equality at all levels of government. The Victory Institute offers candidate training, campaign training, leadership summits, internships, fellowships and professional development

Page 30 | weconnect.lgbt | December-January 2022

programs. Each year the Victory Institute assists hundreds of individuals to go on to influential careers in politics, government, business and advocacy.

According to the Victory Institute, there are currently 995 LGBTQ+ elected officials nationwide and as of June 2021, Mississippi is the only state to have zero LGBTQ+ elected officials. Here in Tennessee, we have 10 LGBTQ+ elected officials.

While ten is a good start, representation matters.

We’ve seen this time and time again. True equality includes a seat at the table — a voice in the matter.

Have you ever thought

about running for office?

There’s no time like now.

Many incumbent candidates are simply re-elected because they don’t have an opponent. Other candidates can also be overlooked because their names aren’t out there like those who have been in office for quite some time.

Nothing changes if it always stays the same. Even just having an opponent can shake things up. Reach out to your local election commission to find out the process to run for a particular office. We need new voices.

For your reference, here are the ten LGBTQ+ elected officials in Tennessee of which we are aware.

politics

State Legislature Elected Officials Eddie Mannis - R District 18, Tennessee House of Representatives https://www. eddiemannis.com/ Torrey Harris - D District 90, Tennessee House of Representatives https://www. torreyharris.com/

Local Elected Officials Russ Bradford - D District 13, Nashville and Davidson County Metropolitan Council https://www. russbradford.com/ Zach Young District 10, Nashville and Davidson County Metropolitan Council https://www.nashville. gov/departments/ council/people/zachyoung Emily Benedict - D District 7, Nashville and Davidson County Metropolitan Council https://www.emilyfor7. com/ Brett Withers - D District 6, Nashville and Davidson County Metropolitan Council https://www.nashville. gov/departments/council/ people/brett-withers Nancy VanReece - D District 8, Nashville and Davidson County Metropolitan Council https://www. nvr4district8.com/

Judicial Elected Officials Jennifer Smith - D Division IV Criminal Court, 20th Judicial District of Tennessee https://www.judgejennifersmith.com/

Rachel Bell - D Division VIII, Davidson County General Sessions Court https://www.judgerachelbell.com/

Paula Skahan - D Division I, Shelby County Criminal Court https://www.shelbycountytn. gov/1587/Division-I

December-January 2022 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 31

social justice

Human Rights Day 2021: All Human All Equal

By Connect Staff @WeConnect_LGBT

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H

uman Rights Day is observed every year on December 10. This is the anniversary of when the United Nations General Assembly adopted the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR) in 1948. The UDHR proclaims the inalienable rights to which everyone is entitled as a human being - regardless of race, color, religion, sex, language, political or other opinion, national or social origin,

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property, birth or other status. Available in more than 500 languages, it’s the most translated document in the world.

The theme for 2021 is Equality — All Human All Equal. This corresponds with article one of the UDHR which is “All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights.” According to the United Nations (UN), the principles of equality and non-discrimination are at the heart of human rights.

They also say equality is aligned with the 2030 UN Agenda of “Leaving No One Behind: Equality and Non-Discrimination at the Heart of Sustainable Development.”

The future goals are to

address and find solutions for deep-rooted forms of discrimination against certain populations including women and girls, indigenous peoples, people of African descent, LGBTI people, migrants and people with disabilities, among others.

There are currently two events scheduled for Human Rights Day in Tennessee.

The first is Chattanooga Human Rights Day Virtual Celebration 2021 which was virtually on November 30, 2021, from 11:00 am to 12:00 pm EST. The second event is Nashville Human Rights Day Virtual Celebration 2021 also being held virtually on December 9, 2021, from 5:00 pm to 6:00 pm CST. Visit https://www.tn.gov/ humanrights.html for full details and to register. n

social justice

Call to action Your presence and your voice will help us fight back together.

By Chris Sanders @CSandersNash

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he Tennessee General Assembly reconvenes on January 11 after a year of attacks on LGBTQ people (particularly trans youth), reproductive freedom, COVID-19 mandates, and fear-mongering about critical race theory.

Many people are wondering, “What else could they possibly do?” Quite a bit, as it turns out.

First, it’s important to remember that the bills that did not pass this year can still advance in the new year.

There is a bill that would alter the health care standards for transgender youth and criminalize deviations from the proposed law. We could also see the return of a bill that seeks to ban all LGBTQ content from the curriculum of our public schools. Another bill leftover from this year was a sneak attack on diversity training for state and local government employees. It could allow them to opt-out of such training sessions if they consider the training to conflict with their religious beliefs.

Second, legislators can file

even more bills in the new year. So we will be dealing with the leftover legislation plus additional forms of discrimination. What might they be cooking up? There are rumblings of attacks on marriage equality or efforts to chip away at it. We have seen the beginnings of such efforts in Texas.

When confronted with these disturbing proposals, people sometimes ask in frustration, “Isn’t all this settled? Can they do this?” In a representative democracy, as long as there is a group of people with a cause, we cannot take it for granted that anything is settled forever. The far-Right will continue to use state legislatures and the courts to attempt to limit our rights.

So what can we do? The greatest need, though it sounds like the hardest task, is actually not complicated.

We need volunteers that we call “district captains” who will meet with their own state legislators to talk about these bills during the legislative session. We will help you learn how to set up your meeting and provide you with guidance on what to talk about. We particularly need volunteers who live outside Nashville.

Legislators in conservative districts need to understand that their own neighbors do not favor these bills.

Volunteers who can

respond to media calls (television, newspapers, radio, etc) are also vital. We primarily need trans and non-binary people of all ages who can speak to the media about the personal impact of discriminatory legislation.

But there is also a role for parents, teachers, health care professionals, clergy, and business leaders who can discuss their opposition to bad bills when a reporter needs someone to comment.

General volunteer opportunities will also be available for everyone from beginners to the more experienced advocates. For those in Middle Tennessee, you may have time to come to the Cordell Hull Building to show support during committee hearings on key bills. No speaking is required.

We will also host phone banks again this year and provide you with scripts to contact legislators. Your presence and your voice will help us fight back together. n

Advocacy is for everyone. Given the extreme challenges we face in Tennessee, we need you. If you are ready to take action when the Legislature convenes, be in touch at info@tnep.org.

December-January 2022 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 33

culture

worth Know your

“G

By Lauren Means

L @LaurenInMidTenn

rowing up I always knew that I was different and anything I did, I would put my all into it,” says Anthony Lofties when asked what drives him to keep moving forward and pursuing his dreams. Lofties is the Founder and CEO of Altrio Entertainment.

The self-described country boy was raised by his grandparents on a farm just outside of Jackson, Tennessee in a town called Bolivar. His grandmother is a minister and his biological father is a pastor.

He grew up riding tractors, bailing hay, and planting gardens every year. “We always had farm animals like horses, bulls, cows and pigs,” Lofties reflected.

Maybe it’s that sense of hard work that has been instilled in him since childhood or maybe it’s his inner desire to continue to excel that has him pushing forward and always looking to the next venture. Whatever it is, he’s not slowing down. Lofties does it all. He is a singer, talk show host, and can now add fashion designer to his accomplishments as he recently launched an underwear/swimwear line.

“I finalized my new underwear/swimsuit line three weeks ago. Hopefully, I will be able to launch it by the end of December 2021 or the first of January 2022. I sketched all my designs and own all of them. I handpick all of my fabrics. You will never see a line like mine because all of my products are exclusive,” Lofties said about his most recent endeavor.

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While Lofties is very confident in his abilities, he acknowledges there were moments in his past that have shaped him. He explained, “What drives me is remembering all of the people who said that I wouldn’t be anything. The people who stole ideas from me. People who wouldn’t give me a chance. The people who bullied me and I was afraid to stand up for myself.” He says he tends to internalize a lot of things that occurred in his life and suppress the emotions so it won’t overshadow what he really wants to accomplish.

He likened it to how Jean Grey, who is a character from the Marvel Universe, tried to suppress Phoenix.

“When the time comes all of those emotions will get the best of you and it’s time to unleash the power that can’t be tamed. When you see me working on new projects, I

unleash that altar ego that will push me harder to reach my goals and dare anyone to try and stop me,” said Lofties.

Pushing Through One thing that has not stopped Lofties is the pandemic. He pushed through with his music and his web talk show, “The Industry Outlet.” He released his album “Sincerely, My Fault” on August 1, 2021 and it’s currently available on all digital platforms. “I decided to put my music to the side for now. The music industry is very harsh. I always said that I would quit music when I stop enjoying it. I may do a show one day, but it will be on my terms,” said Lofties.

“The Industry Outlet” is a show that he created to help entrepreneurs promote their businesses. “I created a platform where people can have those conversations that many have become so

»

PHOTOS COURTESY ANTHONY LOFTIES

culture

December-January 2022 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 35

culture

infuriated to discuss,” he said.

He highlights a recording artist on each episode but also has a large range of guests. “I’ve had professional basketball players, BET Sunday Best contestant Chelsey Barnes, R&B Artist J Howell, Ta’Liyah who owns the business Liyahs Lips. Judge Shelia Calloway, Brandi Johnson who founded the non-profit GOYB, and BMI country artist Preston James. The list goes on,” said Lofties.

He admits, for it to be his first season, he made a lot of mistakes but noted, “It was a great experience and I know what to do next season.” He plans to begin work on season two in January 2022.

Decisions and Setbacks “The Industry Outlet” wasn’t Lofties first venture into television or film. Prior to the pandemic, he was working on a docuseries called “The G.A.Y.S.”.

The show covered a range of personal stories from members of the LGBTQ+ community. “[There were different] coming out stories. I had someone talk about being on the downlow/ married with kids who was forced to come out. I had a mother who spoke on accepting her child and shone a light on LGBTQ+ community member Deon Brown who is no longer with us. Deon’s life was taken away at a young age. He was murdered and that was the first time his mother spoke on it,” noted Lofties.

Unfortunately, he was not able to release the show.

“Sometimes we are faced with decisions that could challenge our integrity,” said Lofties. “There was one particular interview that didn’t sit well with Page 36 | weconnect.lgbt | December-January 2022

me. I had a heart-to-heart moment with my team and we all agreed that it felt like we were missing something.

I did a little investigating and I’m glad I went with my gut. What I thought was wrong with that interview, it came to light,” he said. He decided to take a financial loss on his investment in the project so everything could end on a good note.

He was still able to host a post-production gala that honored members of LGBTQ+ Community.

It’s those types of setbacks that could derail someone’s dreams. Lofties admits he’s hit many roadblocks in his career but he doesn’t let them stop his success. “I always tell people ‘know who you are or the industry will define you,’” he said.

Lofties explained the way he overcomes those situations is by knowing how much he values his peace of mind.

“If anything interrupts that, it cost too much. Once you learn who you are and know your worth, you will know your limit and what you will not stand for.”

Forging Ahead The way things are going, the word “stop” doesn’t appear to be in Lofties’ vocabulary. “I will be producing a reality show in Nashville with help from photographer/videographer owner of Exp Imaging, Dairus Corley. I can’t give too many details but the show will surround a full gay cast and each cast

member has their own situation going on,” said Lofties of his upcoming project.

He shared, “One LGBTQ+ cast member is going through a bad divorce. Two guys who call themselves friends constantly talk behind each other’s backs but still manage to hang with one another all the time, which I find to be so hilarious. One is an amazing chef and the other tries to make himself more than what he really is. I will be a cast member and will show how hard it is to date within the LGBTQ+ community while trying to balance my personal life while trying to have a regular life. Everyone shares something in common but you will have to wait to find out what it is.”

As for advice for people in the LGBTQ+ community who are pushing to make their dreams reality, Lofties simply says, “Keep pushing, stay focused and never give up.” He further explained, “Yes, there will be times when you will feel like no one understands you. Yes, there will be times you will feel uncertain about the choices and decisions you have to make. Yes, there will be times when you feel everything is going the way you want it and you have no one to share it with. I deal with that all the time. The point that I am trying to make is to KNOW your worth and know that it will all be worth it when you reach your goals.” n

CONNECT

You can watch the first season of “The Industry Outlet” on YouTube.

Find his album “Sincerely, My Fault” on all digital platforms.

Follow Lofties on social media.

connect

Shop. Play. Eat. LOCAL!

December-January SUMMER 2022 2021 / weconnect.lgbt / Page 37

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