Hemispheres: Art and Literary Magazine by Wichita Collegiate School

H emispheres art and literary magazine

Artwork by Lily Conrad

Artwork by Iya Wakil

04 to 35

Poetry and Short Stories

36 to 45 Artwork by Chiara Ramdami

Analyses

74 to 91 Miscellaneous

92 to 101 Art Submissions

and Theories

46 to 73

table of contents

Pop

Culture Artwork by Lily Conrad

Poetry and Short Stories

Artwork by Harry Ling

Illuminous Nostalgia by Malak Hamada

Take me back, take me way, way, way back

On South Forest Avenue Where the fireworks lit up the night sky The cousins conversating while looking up at the glistening stars All eagerly gathered around trying to find the best view Laughing it up while red, white, and blue illuminated their faces Then one cousin pulls out the family video camera And points it towards the lively explosion up above The camera slowly pans down to the spirited cousins under the stars As they pose with peace signs and tongues sticking out Occasional booms and crackles are heard through the laughter On South Forest Avenue where the night sky is ablaze The boys go to grab another blue raspberry ice pop While the girls lay in the grass with wide eyes full of sparkles And the adults light more fireworks up towards the moon Tender is the night as the girls start to ponder life On South Forest Avenue under the vast universe Formed of galaxies where human beings seem trivial They stare up silently, each contemplating their own significance The girls are snapped back to reality as the last explosion reverberates Through the now empty sky that was once filled With its own man-made red, white, and blue stars And the last specks of once vibrant colors exit their eyes They look around to see the boys throwing a football While the adults pack up and get ready to head in for the night The girls run to intercept the football and join in on the fun On South Forest Avenue Where the once-luminous sky is now a burning memory In one of the girl’s minds who wishes to return back to that time Where the children were still young and curious about the universe And felt content with just the comfort of each other under the ever-watching stars. 06

Beautiful Bangladesh by Joyita Dev

A sea of yellow grass is squashed under his

feet, as his toes curl around the dirt, blackened. his khaki shorts are baggy, hanging from his waist, and his white tank top sits on his frame, ridged and rough. Palms, cracked and small, hold a glass bottle of milk, freshly squeezed and as pale as the moon. lukewarm and slightly sour, he takes a swig, allowing the warmth to rush down his throat before settling into his stomach: sleeping. Dark eyes glossed over with tired, he saunters over to his doting mother, her dark hair shrouded by a white cotton scarf. she wears a half-way grin. She tousles his hair that sits like a mop atop his head, covering his forehead from the sun’s harsh rays. her palm caresses his cheek, smooth and sweet. Summertime holds them both in an embrace, tying their souls with the string of the fates, so that mother and son may never be separated.

Perfectionism: a descent into madness

by Sharon Mabasa and Marisol Munoz Morales

The clock strikes 2 am and the adrenaline rush hits, just as you were too tired to continue on. At this point, four hours have passed, but you hear the words of Mr. Mykel say, “time does not exist; time is relative.” You fondly remember the time when you were filled with hope, inspiration, and determination to finish the project on time and make it look amazing-an abandoned dream. Yet, as if you have awakened from a trance, you feel rejuvenated as the words begin to flow onto the Word document in front of you. Logic, reason, and science are all gone and left behind to pursue something better. What is that something? It doesn’t have a name, only a distinct feeling. The dire need for sleep steadily grows. Happiness, goodness, virtue, and silly aspirations pale in comparison to the discovery you have made.

Soon, the hopes of making a special project leave and are taken over by the adamant need to finish this assignment and get to bed before you have another mental breakdown. Your sanity slowly seeps from your pores as another wave of exhaustion hits. The salty tears from your previous loss of reality still linger on your skin in a sticky, uncomfortable manner as you continue pressing on through the never-ending torture that is finishing this prize of a project. Just as you complete another section of your masterpiece, your mom walks into your room and asks why you’re still awake, but she does not understand the process. No one

understands the sacrifice it takes to produce art of this magnitude. You are certain even the greatest philosophers could not replicate your ideas at this moment. The illuminating light from your dimmed room becomes all of the understanding and knowledge you need to complete this assignment. Your heart beats faster as the end draws near, feeling so close, yet so far. The clock now strikes 3 am, and your body is hit with a sudden wave of energy which makes your body work faster than it ever has before. Frantic, delirious, and hysterical, your mind races, and your fingers can’t keep up as the clickclack sounds of pounded keys fill the room. Suddenly the light from your computer screen, once a muse, becomes kryptonite, as a pulsing sensation begins to swell in your head. Your body has reached its limit, betraying you. Alas, the breakdown has begun. You feel your eyes water, and soon those salty fiends which portray your frustration trickle down your cheeks. With your head in your hands, you weep for a while before anger takes over. Finally, in deciding that enough is enough, you take your computer into your arms once again, furiously typing while mumbling words of aggression. You tell yourself this is the last time you will do this, but know this is a lie. This will definitely happen again.

photos by: Sharon Mabasa

mary frances, otherwise and always known as by Hannah Ternes

Lizzy

sweltering on the third day of the stickiest june on record, i watched from the window as the four Davises unloaded the contents of a worn, grey truck-bed into the house next door. a woman with three daughters, from the city, buzzed the cicadas, and added words like escape and reform. rehabilitate. before the four of them, only an older lady lived in the house, and i believed my mama when she told me the lady next door had a daughter the same way i believed in fairies and mermaids. maybe she really existed, but until i saw her in person, she didn’t. on the fourth of june, they appeared on our doorstep with a platter of sugar cookies iced in chocolate and powdered sugar. i pretended not to see my mama flinch as Ms. Davis passed her the tray. she looked very real. “hello,” said Ms. Davis, giving my mama and me a wide smile. her teeth were perfectly straight, except for one crooked one that overlapped the others. “you look about mary’s age.” she set a hand on the oldest girl’s shoulder, fingers slimmer than the twigs that snapped from autumn maples. “this is my oldest, mary frances.” “—otherwise and always known as Lizzy,” said mary frances around a stick in her mouth. only when i saw that her lily-pink lips were rimmed with grape purple did i realize she was sucking on a lollipop. in the days that wilted by, i saw Lizzy everywhere. i was entranced by her, by the wisps of golden-brown fraying from her twin braids, by the freckles dotting a star on the dusky plane of her cheek, and on the left side of her mouth, a dimple. not a cavern—just a little tweak in the smooth skin you’d never see unless she looked closely. it popped when she smiled. 10

she smelled like sweet medicine and freshly mown grass. like sunlight and a scent i imagined to be fluffy clouds, ice to the touch.

sobriquet the first thing i learned about Lizzy was that she clung to her secrets, shut them into an imposing fortress kept under lock and onyx key. “how did you get Lizzy from mary frances?” she unwrapped a lollipop, stuck it in her mouth; her dimple popped. her sister Lycaea’s pet rabbit, a funny-looking creature with a smashed-in nose and eyes the color of dirt, sniffed at her elbow. as much as Lycaea coddled the thing, fed it sweets, sang to it off-pitch, it preferred Lizzy. and though she pretended not to, Lizzy preferred the rabbit over any other living thing. “some secrets are meant to be kept,” Lizzy said, stroking the rabbit’s grey-brown fur.

idiosyncrasy

the second thing i learned about Lizzy was her vocabulary. it was expansive, extensive, comprehensive. she loved words: big words, long words, beautiful words that flowed off the tongue romantically like a foreign language. “why can’t you say my house is old like a normal person?” i asked. “why would you? there are so many other words you could use.” Lizzy flattened her skirt and picked at a scab on her arm. “your house is decrepit. decaying.” “falling apart.” Lizzy’s nose crinkled. “dilapidated. veteran.” “city girl,” i said, using my mama’s favorite insult towards the Davises. “cultured and enlightened,” Lizzy replied. 11

every time she saw me, she offered me a new word to play with: analogous. clairvoyant. loquacious, laconic, vernacular. quintessential. sublime. ethereal. even mama commented on my myriad of new words—but she didn’t know they came from “that mary frances Davis.”

narcotic Lizzy’s mother was the town’s loose woman, Mama told my granddaddy. whenever we saw Lizzy in town with her mother, i saw the skirting glances, the lipless smiles, the hushed, pointed words from everyone, especially Mama. because Lizzy’s mother talked too loud, laughed too long, and drank too much. Mama said that was the reason Lizzy was born, and Lycaea and Penny. she didn’t know i was listening. i didn’t mind Ms. Davis. whenever she leaned over to speak to me, the weighty caramel curls of her hair fell over her shoulder, and her voiced rasped like molasses, and she smelled of spun sugar. Mama said maybe it was good that Ms. Davis had moved back in with her mother, that she’d knock some good, hard common sense back into her. july, and Lizzy finally ran out of lollipops. she walked round sucking on cherries instead, and every once in a while she’d turn her head and spit out the pit, a little brown sphere the size of a hailstone. usually when Mama and i ate cherries, we left a little red flesh on the pit; but Lizzy sucked the pit clean every time.

discrepancy sunbeams baked the wide prairie plains yellow. Lizzy found watermelon lollipops, which she ate for two weeks, but abandoned them when she found the grape again. our property was separated from Lizzy’s grandmama’s by an imaginary line that rolled down a hill. once mama caught little Penny Davis on our side of the hill, and in a fit of solemnity that masked some deeper hurt, she bought picketing and put it up all around our property. it took her two weeks to put up all the picketing. on more than one occasion, i caught her watching the two little Davis girls swinging from the trees on their side of the property as she worked. 12

we went to church every sunday. Ms. Davis was never there, but Lizzy sat in the corner with her grandmother. her two little sisters flanked her, sitting perfectly straight and upright like cherubim and seraphim. Mama greeted them, said hello in a friendlier, warmer tone than she used with Ms. Davis. only then did i look at my mama, with her low-set eyebrows and hourglass figure. my mama was born like a farmwife, emerging from the womb with tough boots and armed with the heavy smell of tractors and gasoline. once upon a time, she wanted to move to the city, my granddaddy told me, when she was a spring-green calf entranced by the promise of a husband and a career. twenty years later and she’s living in the same decrepit house she was born in, with a decaying old man and a son who is afraid of the dark. she’ll never own a wedding ring or any ring nicer than the cheap antiques she inherited from her great-great-grandmama. as my mama watched Lizzy and her little sisters skip out the door, her eyes held a pain and a longing. my granddaddy also told me Mama always wanted a little girl. she got me instead.

lagomorph i blinked and august had almost completely and humidly slunk by. Lycaea’s dirt-eyed rabbit went missing. she and Ms. Davis went around plastering lost rabbit posters everywhere: on town bulletin boards, on our new picket fence, even onto the jaded exit signs at the side of the highway. Lycaea’s tear-stained cheeks and swollen, salmon-colored eyes even swayed the pastor into mentioning the missing rabbit in church on sunday. “good riddance,” said Mama as she was washing the dishes. she wore a deep blue apron over her nicest sunday clothes: a plain navy dress with battered, lace-up boots and great-grandmama’s faux pearls. “that was the ugliest creature I ever saw.” “grandson,” said my granddaddy, “be a good man and bring over my bible.” 13

“you gonna pray over that foul rabbit?” Mama asked nosily. out the window, Lycaea and Ms. Davis trudged down the hill with Penny dancing solemnly behind, guided by the bepostered picket fence. Mama pretended not to see them.

soliloquy somehow, miraculously, astonishingly, devastatingly, Penny found the rabbit a week later in a crevice behind the school—but she was too late. a fox had found it first. Mama and i were invited to the funeral, along with Lycaea’s classmates. the first thing one of the ten-year-old boys said was could he see the rabbit carcass, and was it bloody? Lycaea burst into tears. “this is a closed-casket funeral,” Ms. Davis said firmly. never mind how a ten-year-old knew carcass. that was a word worthy of Lizzy. Mama put her hand on my shoulder. never mind her earlier criticisms of the foul, ugly creature—now she grieved as Ms. Davis set the postalbox casket into a previously dug grave. Mama had watched the Davises dig it. as the mourners smothered the casket with dirt, their drawn and tightened mouths and shoulders suggested they were burying much more than a bunny. Lycaea planted a cross in the ground. here lies the quintessential of rabbits, it read. “an interesting eulogy,” my mama murmured. i looked at Lizzy. a black dress hung on her frame; her hair tumbled in loose waves down her back. there was no lollipop in sight, but a ring of purple stained her lips where they touched.

Photos by Kinsey Nichols 14

Wordle Poems byDarcel Thompson

Just A Little Imagination by Malak Hamada

When will this torment end? Glass shards embedded into my face, the pain was excruciating. Chaos all around. People running out of restaurants to see the tragic scene that has just occured. In a split second, their expressions transformed from curious to concerned. I tried to raise my arm in order to help myself up, but the pain was too much to bear. Look at them, no one stepped in to help. They are all just recording my pain as I slowly fade out of existence. The flash from their phones blind me. Blinded by light... ha kind of ironic. Almost as if it was that infamous light at the end of the tunnel that we all know so much about. I hear the ambulance sirens slowly approaching, my body feeling weaker with each passing second. The pain gets worse, I can’t feel anything below my waist anymore. Why did this happen to me? I deserved to live didn’t I? All that hard work of living just for it to go to waste by strangers who can’t drive right, life is unfair. I wonder what my parents will think about all this. I am supposed to eat dinner with them in twenty minutes. I can feel the frosting from the cake I bought for my dad’s birthday all over my arm. Well, actually now that I think about it, I can’t feel it anymore. I felt it. Guess I’m losing feeling in the upper body now. Finally the ambulance arrives. There appears to be four, actually maybe just two paramedics that approach me. I couldn’t really tell, my vision was fading out. They lifted me up onto the gurney, but I didn’t feel any change to the position of my body. All I could see now were a couple of mouths shouting in a panic. I really hope this isn’t my last memory before death. I hope they can fix me. Suddenly, I can no longer perceive anything.

Blackout. --18

During this time, that street slowly cleared to its original state. The people went back to finish their dinners. Others drove off seeming to forget what just happened. Slowly but surely life went back to normal for these people. Tragic images of the victim’s face lingered in the minds of a few of the watchers, but they eventually couldn’t feel the gravity of the situation anymore. The recordings of the incident circled the internet for a while, but it never amounted to anything. In less than a month, the strangers no longer seemed to care about it. I breathe in. The light makes its way back into my field of vision. My fingers move. My toes move. I can even turn my head. My whole body feels rejuvenated. Who knew it was possible to feel this good after such a bad incident! My eyes fully open to look at the room in which I found myself in. The walls were bright pink. Huh, interesting choice for a hospital room. In fact, it wasn’t just the walls that seemed so interesting. Why was there a dollhouse in the corner? Weird. Maybe they put me in the kid’s section of the hospital. I finally decided to get up and explore a bit. As I stand, I realize that my bare feet are touching this really warm and fuzzy material. Carpet. Hmm, another interesting choice for a hospital room. I liked it though, it made me feel as if I was at home in the comfort of my own room. I go up to the dollhouse and examine its intricate figures. It looks handmade. So much detail and thought must have been put into it.There seemed to be no doll in there at the moment. What was the point of it being there? I think kids would prefer to play with it if it came with a doll, but who knows, it has been awhile since I was a kid. Maybe they are different now. I stray away from the dollhouse and go back to the bed that I woke up in. You know, the longer I examine this room, the more baffled I become at my situation. I seemed to miss this when I woke up, but I just noticed that I hadn’t been hooked up to an IV or anything else of that nature. There wasn’t even a heart monitor. Considering the direness of what I can remember from my accident, I would have expected at least a little something more than what I was given. Hold up. Why are there no nurses here. I’ve been up for a while, I’d imagine someone would have come in to check on me. Is this really what the world has come to? Why is human behavior so unusual? 19

Suddenly as I am deep in thought, the door slams open. I’m so curious as to what this nurse will say about my situation. I turn around, but things seem off. There is no nurse, just a little girl. Do I know her? Why has she come to my room? She stares at me. I stare at her. This is quite awkward. “Hello, my name is Azula,” she says. I don’t really know how to respond so I just stand there kind of stunned. She looks like she trusts me, maybe I should say something.

run past Azula and reach for the door handle. “No, you can’t leave me, we just met, I want to hang out with you!” Ugh...oblivious kid. My hand is centimeters away from that shiny handle, however, it suddenly freezes. What, why can’t I move my hand forward!? I put all my force to try to open the door, yet here I remain, still in the room. “Let me leave, I need to find help, what are you doing to me!” I exclaim.

“It’s ok, you don’t need to be shy. What is your name?” says Azula.

“Don’t be scared please, do you wanna play with my dolls?”

“Uhhh, my name is… my name is… give me a second,” I say.

“How are you doing this? Please, I just need to find a nurse!”

She laughs, “I just know we are going to be best friends!”

“Nurse? Why would you need a nurse? Come here, look at my doll house.”

Why can’t I remember my name? Also, did she just say best friends? The more I try to remember, the more my past life fades away from me. I really hope this is just anesthesia messing with me or something.

Seeing it futile to continue to attempt to open the door, I turn around and look back at Azula. She seems so confident that we will be friends. Slowly, as I stare into her eyes, I forget why I was so adamant about leaving. Something about finding a nurse, hmmm. Whatever it was, it seems pointless now.

I look around the room once more in search of something I may have missed the first time. Window! There is a window. For a moment, I ignore the girl and walk up to the window to pull back the curtains. The astonishment on my face when I look outside. We are in a neighborhood, surrounded by other houses in some kind of cul de sac manner. This was no hospital. How long must I have been out! What on earth would compel the hospital to discharge me while I was still down under? I look back at the girl. She is just a little kid, how would she know? Yet, I have no other options, so I might as well ask her. “Do you know how I got here?” “I don’t really know how any of you get here, you just show up one day and we become best friends.” What does that even mean! This girl isn’t making any sense. I am slowly starting to panic more and more each time she speaks. I need to get out of here and find someone who actually knows what I am going through. I

Azula pulls out a basket from her closet and chooses two dolls for us to play with. One with long brown locks of hair to match her own head and another with a short, blue bob. She puts the basket back into the closet and runs up to the dollhouse. I join after her. “Here is your doll, her hair looks just like yours,” she says. I touch my head and realize my hair feels significantly shorter than it did one minute ago. I even see a tint of blue shining throughout each strand. Woah, I never noticed that my hair looked like this. I praise the girl for finding such a perfect match among her dolls. I should probably thank her. “Thank you,” I say. “You’re welcome, Ash” 21

Ash. She called me Ash. I accept the name willingly, it’s a pretty name, I like it. Suddenly I am captivated by the idea of making Azula the happiest little girl in the world. Why was I so worried a second ago? Did I resent her before this moment? How is it even possible to resent such a sweet girl? We play with the dollhouse deep into the night, making up imaginary scenarios for the dolls to live through. In such a short time, it truly does feel like we have turned into the bestest of friends there ever were to be. Ha, just like she said would happen. Eventually it’s time for bed. Azula gets ready to sleep, but she has a worried look on her face the entire time. “What’s wrong Azula?” “My parents usually tuck me in for bed, but I don’t know where they are tonight.”

Sounds horrible, oh well. I flip the channel and watch a nature documentary instead. A predator chasing its prey, ha, the prey is too slow. It gets caught. Kind of funny. If only it were faster. Before I even notice, the sun rises and here I am still encaptivated by the documentary. As I am watching the pelican swoop down into the water, I overhear jingling keys by the door. At that moment, an elderly woman walks inside in a panicky manner. She races towards Azula’s room, shedding a tear with each step she takes. I follow her. This part is all blur. It was filled with too much sadness for me to understand. I learn that the elderyly woman is Azula’s grandmother, and she will be taking care of her from now on. The grandmother takes no notice of me, and finds it quite odd when Azula looks in my direction.

I instantly see an opportunity to make her happy, and so I decide to take on the role of her parents for the night.

Later in the day, the grandmother is in the kitchen cooking Azula some food since she hasn’t eaten since yesterday’s lunch. I finally have a chance to speak to her alone.

“I’ll tuck you in!”

“Hey Azula, how are you feeling?”

“Really!? I knew I could count on you.”

“Horrible Ash. I’m going to miss you so much.”

Awww, such a sweet little girl. I tuck her in, and in just a few short minutes, she is sound asleep. I look around and my eyes fall on the door handle once again. As much as I love the presence of Azula, I want to explore the world outside her room. I reach for the handle, and this time I am actually able to touch it. As my hand rests on it, I slowly turn my wrist, and the handle follows along with it.

“Miss me, but why? I thought we were best friends”

Soon enough, the door opens, and a dark hallway lies before me. I walk through the hallway until I reached a room with two couches and a television. Living Room, nice. Might as well watch some TV to pass some time, I don’t feel tired. I find the remote and the screen flickers open. I flip through channels until I find one that seems interesting.

“I wish you could, but Grandma doesn’t like it when I talk to you. She says you aren’t real and that only lonely kids have friends like you. I don’t believe her, but she said if I continue to talk to you, then she will take me to a doctor, and doctors are so scary.”

Huh, what is this? 10 o’clock new. Car crash. Both parties died in the hospital. Twenty-three year old woman. Married Couple. Faulty brakes. 22

Grieving parents. Tragic news.

“We are, but I have to leave with my grandma soon. I don’t think we are ever coming back here.” “Why can’t I go with you? I want to be with you forever.”

“I am real! Your grandma doesn’t know what’s best for you. Please just take me! I will hide. I will be quiet.” “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to risk it. Thank you for being my best and 23

probably last friend for a while. I will miss you so much.” “But, please Azula, this can’t be it! We were going to---” Her grandmother screams from the other room. Something about how lunch is packed and they are finally ready to leave. “Goodbye Ash.” She leaves the room without even giving me enough time to give a proper goodbye. That deceitful grandma, responsible for making me lose my best friend. How dare she! An hour later, I am sitting on her bed, trying to relive last night in my mind. Suddenly, the thought of searching for a nurse pops back up. Except only this time, I accept that there are no nurses where I am. There is no one to help those who are treated like me. More and more memories flood in of the time before I learned of Azula’s name. How deceitful that little girl was, making me blind to my own misfortunes. Ash, what a stupid name.

Photo by Ovi Davis

Photo by Malak Hamada

Soon enough, I became aware of the accident and my life before it. As Azula drives away towards her new life, she forgets about our short life together. As she forgets, I remember. Ignorant, foolish, dense little girl. She really forgot about me that fast huh. My memories bring pain, both emotional and physical. I once again feel sharp pains all throughout my face and body. That paralyzed feeling strikes back. It all happens so quickly. Here I am, reduced to a memory, while that naive little girl gets to enjoy the rest of her days with her grandma. Maybe she will feel this pain too, hopefully in the near future. Maybe she already has and I am unaware. Oh well, I already forgot about her. I feel myself fade into nothingness. It feels like a second death, only this time there is no hope to awaken in a hospital, no light at the end of the tunnel either. Oh how tragic and unfair life is. Sad, lonely, cruel world. 24

Take Me Back

Take me back, take me way back

by Allie Kavalauskas

Take me back to when I lived in the Sunshine State Days spent at the beach, in awe of the ocean but hating the feeling of sand on my feet Days chasing coconuts into the beautiful blue abyss, swimming so far that I yelled for my dad to come rescue me Days that ended with a stop at Kilwin’s for my favorite cake batter ice cream Summer afternoons spent racing my sisters on bikes in the screened in porch as my mom cheered us all on Evenings when my mom worked late at the hospital, and we ate happy meals from McDonald’s and watched Curious George Nights spent at Ritter’s with my family, eating chocolate ice cream with sprinkles, jumping on the bouncy house, and getting my face painted by Mother Goose Take me back to the first time I watched the movie Secretariat, the movie that started a lifelong passion The excitement of my first horseback riding lesson with a little paint horse Cheyenne The courage it took to get back on after my first fall off Leo The joy I felt after winning a blue ribbon and a Hershey’s chocolate bar at my first show Take me back to the days of competing with elementary school classmates for spots at the swings And running around in the field, claiming a little hill as ‘our hill,’ the site of countless made up games The site of many memories with my best friend, who still remains my best friend today Take me back to the day in seventh grade that changed my life I was called down to the office. I ran down the stairs, heart thumping, knowing this was the call that could change everything My mom’s voice spoke the words I had been so anxiously awaiting You’re going to Collegiate Take me back to my first days at Collegiate The many afternoons I spent with Jackson in Mrs. Nixon’s ancient history room The laughs I shared with my new friends while reading the Count of Monte Cristo The day my friends from band taught me how to dance in the girls’ bathroom before the middle school Snowball The California tech trip where I played poker with friends late into the night, and almost fell off the tram at the Tesla tour because I was so exhausted Finding my buddy for life on that amazing trip Take me back to the days free of worry and stress over work and college and my future To the days of carefree childhood bliss To those memories of sun, laughter, and freedom Where did that time go? 26

The Truth about by Maya Torres

everyone loves Starbucks.

The ambiance, the food, the nice baristas what is not to love? The truth is hard to swallow I know that But what if I told you that the blenders and espresso machines have never been washed? Or that a Carmel Macchiato does not actually have any caramel flavoring in it? Would that change your mind? Maybe the fact that frappucinos are actually pre-made? Handcrafted drinks? More like handcrafted lies. For legal reasons This is a joke.

Monsters on the Shore by Ovi Davis

I did not mean to kill him. Truly, I did not. He came to me, inexperienced and naif, To paint the waves Crashing over my Dover shore. He spoke of nothing for a day But Poussin and paint and perspective. He annoyed me, He infuriated me, But I did not mean to kill him. I did not mean to kill him. Truly, I did not. A storm was brewing, Beating against the shore already, And we would have to look carefully For incoming ships. I took him under my wing, Showed him how to care for the light, How to fill the mercury bath. I asked him once If he had ever held a broom in his life, But I did not mean to kill him. I did not mean to kill him. Truly, I did not. But with the corrugated sea Crashing along the cliffs While we were cloistered in the lighthouse And the chitters and chirps in the winged trees Began to drive him mad. He saw monsters at every turn, 28

Shuddering with the cold or with fear. I could not understand him, But I did not mean to kill him. I did not mean to kill him. Truly, I did not. He had calmed himself, Not with my help, But with the swift movements of his brush In his dainty, deft hand. On his canvas, The angry storm seemed calmer, gentler. You would not have known How it would destroy him. He was no help, really, But I did not mean to kill him. I did not mean to kill him. Truly, I did not. He had grown on me, Had helped me fill the mercury bath again And swept the lighthouse floor As if it were yet another brush On yet another canvas. Then his monsters had returned. I asked him once What his monsters looked like. He would not answer. He made me anxious, But I did not mean to kill him. I did not mean to kill him. Truly, I did not. But I was seeing monsters, too, And they looked too much like me. One night, I took him by his slim shoulders, Held him tightly and shook him, 29

Watched him rattle in my grip. I told him to stop, To go out before the storm reached us And breathe in the sea air And let the monsters disappear. I had scared him, But I did not mean to kill him. I did not mean to kill him. Truly, I did not. The storm had reached our Dover shore, And he was still outside. He could have gotten lost And caught a chill, Or the monsters could have taken him… I had searched for him for ages, Or minutes, Or maybe it was no time at all Before I found him, Standing on the edge of the cliff, Still and tranquil against the wind which urged him off the ledge. I was scared, But I did not mean to kill him. I did not mean to kill him. Truly, I did not. I had tapped him on the shoulder, Gripped his delicate arm firmly When he lurched forward with shock. He had turned toward me, Horror in his eyes Which he had only reserved For the monsters. He scrambled away from me, Dangling over the ledge, But I held him close and corralled him away. He had hurt me, 30

But I did not mean to kill him. I did not mean to kill him. Truly, I did not. But he broke free from my grasp, Took me down with him. His frail body dragged me to the edge Until I had no choice but to let go, To push him away, To watch him silently plunge into the sea, Too shocked to scream. It was my fault, I know, But I did not mean to kill him.

photo by Iya Wakil

M A N K I N D : T h e

S t o r y

o f

A l b e r t

by Allie Kavalauskas and Sabrina Wilson

Amidst the chaos of the unforgiving entity, most species will fail, but for one, all the pieces will fall into place, and a set of keys will unlock a path for mankind to triumph over ALBERTkind. This is our story: the story of all of Albert. December 22nd, 2020, Albert plans a coup d’etat. For the second time, Albert possessed a human vessel to live through: President of Team UmiZoomi, Kevin Chamberlin. Formerly Jessie’s Bertram, the Disney Channel star was now at the center of a course that would change mankind forever. Two weeks later, using Chamberlin’s Tik Tok following, ALBERT had amassed an army of five billion. Under its guidance, the ALBERT army infiltrated every governmental system in the world. The ALBERTifesto was drafted soon after, and mankind became ALBERTkind…except for one: avid spelunker, Kevin Mykel. ***cue heavy metal rock music*** Mykel was climbing a cave during the ALBERT takeover. When he reached the top, he emerged into a new world. Everyone was eating cake; there was no pie. There were no books. Mankind would never be the same. Mykel was their only hope. Mykel wrote in his journal,

“What is this madness that here lies? Every man stuffs his face with cake, and not a single soul yearns for pie. All books have disappeared into the void. Mankind has confined itself to the bottom of the cave, where there is no wisdom, temperance, and justice. Only I seem to know there is a higher truth and a greater dessert.” There was one surviving book: the ALBERTifesto. The preamble read, “Every man is ALBERT, and ALBERT is every man. Therefore, ALBERTkind replaces mankind. You are a part of ALBERTkind, and your only duty is to help ALBERTkind triumph.” In an act of 32

rebellion that would echo across the world for centuries, Mykel burned the ALBERTifesto and baked a perfect pie Crust in the fire. To Mykel, the Crust was a symbol of unity that represented the filling was relative. mALBERTarch 11th, year 1 in the ALBERTverse, Mykel publishes The Good Life B.A. (before ALBERT). This book would revolutionize the fates of ALBERTkind. Slowly, people began spelunking, following Mykel up the cave until they too saw the truth. ALBERT was quick to respond by destroying Google Drive. All files were lost, and there was no hope for saving them in the future. The Good Life B.A. was voided from the cloud. Fortunately, despite the one surviving printer being in German, Mykel was able to print a multitude of copies of the Good Life B.A. to educate others. Another entry in Mykel’s diary read, “Es spielte keine Rolle, ob der Drucker nicht in meiner Muttersprache war. Ich hatte die Pflicht, ALBERTkind darüber aufzuklären, wer sie wirklich waren, und wie Gogo und Didi blieb ich meinen Überzeugungen verpflichtet.” Translation: “It did not matter if the printer was not in my first language. I had a duty to enlighten ALBERTkind to who they really were, so I taught myself German. Like Gogo and Didi, I stayed committed to my beliefs.” With ALBERT not recognizing his followers as his equals, he failed to establish a commonwealth relationship. ALBERT’s reign ended with the implosion of the ALBERTverse. ALBERT returned to the void, and Kevin Chamberlin was free to make Tik Toks again. May 22nd, 2022 A.a. (after albert), mankind is restored. The people eat pie, and they read The Consolation of Philosophy and Siddhartha. They spelunk. Mankind now knows true goodness and happiness again. In honor of Mykel’s commitment to his duty to save mankind, students across the world write a paper, The Good Life, also known as Das gute Leben. One of the striking things about humans is there’s never been a human society that hasn’t had war. Maybe it’s necessary to our evolution. Even in our darkest moments we find enlightenment, and with all we’ve learned from albert and Kevin Mykel, we climb the cave and face the future. 33

Silent by Emily Mallard

If I followed the rules, Did as I was told, Cleaned up after myself, Used my inside voice, Why am I in trouble? If I did my research, Am more qualified, More hardworking, More intelligent, Why am I patronized? If I was polite, Said no thank you, Said I appreciated the offer, But I wasn’t interested, Why did you keep asking? If I made myself clear, Stated what I was comfortable with, And what I wasn’t, If I drew the line in thick red ink, Why did you cross it?

Why don’t you feel bad? Why do you get to keep everything While I am left with nothing? If your name is the one that should be dragged through the dirt, Why do I feel dirty? If I had been less polite, If I had raised my voice As you did yours, If I had been harsher, Would anything be different? If you’re allowed to live your life As if nothing ever happened, If you can do what you want to me, And say what you want about me, Why must I stay silent?

The Day the Breadsticks Came by “The Irish”

The day the breadsticks came the Irish patiently waited. They removed their sauce from their plate before it was confiscated. They waited for the bread to come walking down the hall, until they sadly realized, it was never coming at all.

Why must I stay silent?

If you broke the rules, Went against your word, Muffled my cries While you covered your tracks, Why do I feel guilty? If I did everything right, Was never too cautious, Never rushed into things Or broke my promises, Why am I the one hurting?

Artwork by Emily Mallard

Photo by Will Strecker 35

Analyses and Theories

Photo by Malak Hamada

Conspiracy Theory by Vivian Baughman

Mindfulness byIya Wakil

I want you to think about the last time that you took a moment to pause and breathe. A moment where you were fully aware of your surroundings, absorbing that awareness without judgment. Sometimes, it can be so hard to not be consumed by constant thoughts pulling from every direction. Now, It has become even harder to focus on being fully present in each moment when there is so much going on around us.

I have a conspiracy theory. They make me happy but others dreary. I realize I said that like I only believe in one, But really I believe in quite a ton. I don’t think birds are real, It’s truly not that big a deal. The moon landing is fake, Those that believe make my head ache. The earth is flat, not round, If you say different, then don’t make a sound. They say it’s all untrue and won’t admit, But I know it’s all an elaborate skit. I know this is the truth; If you want to know more, please come to my booth.

That is why it is more important than ever for everyone to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness teaches the individual to become fully aware and non-judgemental of their thoughts regarding the present moment. It is learning to appreciate every second of one’s lives, and letting go of the regrets of the past and the anxieties of the future. Not only that, but mindfulness provides us with further insight to the workings of our mental, emotional, and physical processes. Mindfulness helps one become a step closer to selfunderstanding and wisdom, allowing kind thoughts and attitudes towards wandering minds. Mindfulness may seem like a thought process that requires significant amounts of energy, practice, and patience to get right. However, mindfulness is not as obscure as it seems. The concept itself is already familiar to us, because it is what we already do and how we already are. It can be practiced in various activities that bring forth peace and joy in the individual practicing it. We as human beings already have the capacity to be in the present moment, and again, it does not require us to change who we are. Another advantage to practicing mindfulness is that anybody can do it. These practices cultivate universal human qualities and provide benefits to all individuals who are involved with it. Mindfulness also has the ability to spark innovation. As we deal with the world’s increasing complexity and uncertainty, mindfulness can lead us to effective and low-cast responses to seemingly insurmountable problems. Sometimes, taking a deep breath and looking at what can be controlled rather than things that cannot actively be controlled helps to redirect focus on what truly matters. This goes especially for those who measure their ability to succeed and worth with their accomplishments. For high school students, those accomplishments include grades, extracurriculars, and accolades. To those who give their best in everything they do, be proud of your accomplishments, and remember to take a break every once in a while. Step back and look at how far you have come, but again, do not fall into the trap of overthinking about what already

happened, or what is going to happen.

As a fellow speech and debater, I was as a tool throughout this book which drawn into this creative twist on the can be seen as extremely powerful not classic Pride and Prejudice by Jane only in her activities of Oration and Austen. I was not disappointed as I loved Lincoln Douglas but also in building her to watch Leela grow not only as a person friendships and standing up for injustice. but also navigate the rough waters of a It was a relatively fast-paced novel, with mostly male-dominated a facile level of reading. activity and create longI finished the book the lasting friendships and same night that I picked it memories. I loved how up. I wish there was more Sayantani DasGupta witty banter between was able to follow Pride Leela and Firoze which and Prejudice’s plot is something I loved in through the naming of Jane Austen’s version. the characters but also If you are looking for a By Emma add in her own storylines book that sticks heavily Mantovani and make the classic her to tropes this might not own. I connected even be the novel for you as it more with the main character Leela is an extremely close rendition of Jane who is Indian. I thought it was very Austen’s. However, there is something creative for DasGupta to weave her own to love in all the characters and the story into Leela’s and recreate Leela story as a whole even if you have never in a feminist light. Leela uses her voice entered the arena of speech and debate.

Debating Darcy

You’d Be Home Now, a novel by a clear depiction of someone coming Kathleen Glasgow is a 378-page realistic of age and trying to find their place in masterpiece. It is not a stand-alone and the world. Even if you have never been is around a high in a specific school reading character’s level. The book situation, follows the life Kathleen of Emory Ward Glasgow does as she struggles a fantastic to find her place job of making in the world. Not one feel only is she trying connected to to deal with at least all the By Emma her brothers’ characters Mantovani addiction and by the end the aftermath of a tragic event, but also of the book. It was such a well-together trying to determine what type of person book from the cover, which drags you she was and wants to be. Reading this, I in with questions to the last chapter, felt so connected to Emory and the inner bringing about the main themes of turmoil she faced. This book, in all, is such trying to figure out who you are.

Analysis of: You’d Be Home By Now

Analysis of:

What If? By darcel thompson

Randall Munroe’s What If? is a book I’ve read countless times and I still consider it one of my alltime favorites. Randall Munroe got the idea for What If? when giving a lecture at MIT – he found that the crazy, hypothetical questions asked by students were more fun to answer than predictable questions about realistic scenarios. After sharing this experience, readers of his long-running blog, XKCD, began to submit questions which he answered and eventually compiled into What If? At its heart, this book answers theoretical questions realistically, using science, math, and humor. For example, have you ever wondered what would happen if you had a periodic table made out of the actual elements? Hint – it involves a major explosion. Ever considered how likely a perfect score would be if everyone taking the SAT guessed on every question? To answer that question, Munroe does the math, and then says: “To everyone taking the SAT this year, good luck – but it won’t be enough.” Randall Munroe combines chemistry, physics, math, and comics into readable and hilarious answers to these questions and more. I challenge anyone reading this book not to laugh out loud at the cartoons depicting potential outcomes if these scenarios happened! For anyone who wants to read more of Randall Munroe’s work, he has a blog, XKCD, and other books including How To and Thing Explainer. I’m looking forward to reading What If? 2 this September!

Why The Little Mermaid is the most misunderstood fairy tale of all time-thanks to Disney By Hannah Ternes

The Little Mermaid is absolutely fantastic Disney’s 1989 film The Little Mermaid is one of the studio’s most iconic and beloved. From its catchy music and adorable animal sidekicks to its bright colors and the villainous masterpiece known as Ursula (“Poor Unfortunate Souls” is hands down my favorite song of all time), this film is just incredible. But it’s come under fire in the last twenty years or so, along with pretty much the entire Disney franchise. Despite its protagonist, Ariel, being the first Disney princess to have a personality beyond “kind, pretty, and loves animals,” critics complain that her motive throughout the movie is simple, problematic, and dare I say misogynistic: find a man. The entire premise of the film is “young mermaid must make the prince fall in love with her in three days.” It’s neither the first nor last Disney film to do so. It’s also neither the first nor last Disney film to be completely rewritten from the original fairy tale.

Disney’s history with rewrites Walt Disney Studios is well-known for its drastic adaptations of old folk and fairy tales. In fact, maybe “adaptations” isn’t the right word so much as “movie very loosely inspired by”. Take Frozen as an example—what elements of “ The Snow Queen” made it into the final film? Ice powers and a really awesome frozen castle. Oh, and maybe there was a reindeer in the original fairy tale. Tangled isn’t nearly as far removed from “Rapunzel”, but plenty of liberties were taken. Some of these rewrites were necessary. “Rapunzel,” the original, has several elements that are a bit messed-up, like a lot of these older stories. Tangled reinvented the story and transformed it into something new, fun, and clean of the issues within the original. (Maybe I’m biased because I absolutely adore Tangled.) In Hans Christian Andersen’s “The Little Mermaid,” the most obvious difference is that the nameless little mermaid dies at the end, 42

which Disney didn’t find suitable for its target audience of young children. But the issue with changing the ending of this story is that it drastically changes the message of the piece. Andersen’s original tale transcends its simple romance plotline into a much richer, deeper story, one that can’t be told without the little mermaid’s death at the end.

The original fairy tale

Andersen’s mermaids have an added bit of lore that Disney omitted from the film.Whilehumanshaveimmortalsoulsthatlivepastdeath, - soul maidsturnintoseafoamwhentheydie.Theonlywayforamermaidtog animmortalsoulisforahumantosharetheirs;thatis,ifahuman love with the mermaid. Thisiswhatpiquesouroriginallittlemermaid’sinterest.Lon meets(read:savesthelifeof)thealso-namelessprince,she- become natedwithhergrandmother’sstoriesabouthumans,specifical mortality.Shewonderswhatitmustbeliketobelongtotheworl Whenshesavestheprince,it’sthiscuriositythatdriveshert toaskforapotiontomakeherhuman.Sure,shelikestheprincean probablyhot,buthe’smoreofameanstogetanimmortalsoulthan interest in a romance. If he falls in love with her, then by Andersen’s lore, boom!soul.Withthisinmind,thelittlemermaidtradeshertongu seawitchinexchangeforlegs.Shemustmaketheprincefallinlove Ifhemarriessomeoneelse,shewilldieonthemorningafterthewe Whichbringsustotheendofthetale.Whiletheprincethinksfon littlemermaid,whocan’tspeakbecausetheseawitchtook - hert changeformakingherhuman,heneverlearnstoloveher.Hechoose eignprincessforhisbride.Thelittlemermaidissettodiethen withoutthesoulshesodesires.Hersistersarrivewithaknif fromtheseawitchandapromisethatifthelittlemermaidkill shewillbecomeamermaidagainandlive.Thelittlemermaidaccep knifeandbreaksintotheprince’sbridalchamberinthedeadof shecan’tbringherselftokillhim,notwhenhe’ssleepingsopeac tohisnewwife.Shethrowsherselfandtheknifeintotheocean,pr turnintoseafoam. Wemodernreaderspitythelittlemermaid.Wefindhertaletragic ingterrible—butit’snot.Andersen’sendingispurposeful.Thel doesn’tceasetoexist.Instead,shebecomesaspirit,aDaughtero andshe’stoldbytheotherDaughtersthatshehasbecome - oneof 43

causeshewantedanimmortalsoulsobadly.Threehundredyearsofgood importantlesson,butneverthelessdicerentfromtheorigina deedsasaDaughteroftheAirwillearnherherveryownsoul. AndcanIjustsaythatthislackofacharacterarcmakesAriel - ki Thisendingisn’ttragic.Thelittlemermaiddies,butshegetstheopportunity ing?Six-year-oldmelovedher,butlookingbackasamuchmoresageper togetexactlywhatshe’swantedthewholestory. withnineadditionalyearsoflifeexperience…thegirlisstubbo (And,PSA:theprinceintheoriginaltaleisalittlecreepy.She’sbetter too ocfreethis spirited,andsheneverlearnstobeotherwise. way.)

Okay… but this is kinda dumb

So…

Honestly,TheLittleMermaidisareallyweirdfairytale.Mermaidwants Atatheendoftheday,I’mstillobsessedwiththe198filmoutofpure no soul,decidestomakeaprincefallinlovewithhersoshecangetasoul, talgia—and and becausethemusicis*chef’skiss**.(AlanMenkenismyhero dies.It’snotasuperrelatablestoryaboutakidwho’ssavinguptobuy listen an totheBroadwayalbumonrepeatandlearneverysong - Ican iPhoneoranything.Theplotis…abitbizarre. ano.Therevisionsmadetotheoriginalfairytaletoadaptitto Yetthere’ssomethingthatIfindissobeautifulaboutAndersen’s tale. areunderstandable. Alit Nochildwillwatchamoviewherethemainc tlemermaiddiscoversthatshecanearnherselfasoulinsteadofrelying dies at the onend. someoneelsetosharetheirswithher.Shefindsthatshecannotdemand Nevertheless, love Andersen’soriginalstoryhasaqualitythatIca fromtheprinceandacceptsthathe’shappywithsomeoneelse. elementthatelevatesandtransformstheotherwisetragic (Again,PSA:she’sreallybetterocwithouttheprince.) of art.

How Disney missed the magic Howdidthesemessagesgetlostintranslationfrompapertoscreen?How wasthisfairytaleaboutimmortalityanddeathtransformedintoamovie withsingingfishandanextremelybossycrab? Therootofthechange:Disneytweakedtheending. Disney’stargetaudienceissmallchildren,andsmallchildren wouldbetrau matizedifArielweretodieattheendofthefilm—nottomentionparents, someofwhomwouldriotiftheirchildrenwereexposedtothat.Kidswere afraidofSnowWhiteandtheSevenDwarfswhenitwasreleasedinthe‘30s. NowaywouldDisneytakethatchance. Here’stheproblem,though:withoutthelittlemermaid’sdeath,themessages arelost.Thelittlemermaidgetsexactlywhatshewants,throughtheexact meansshewantsit.That’sbadstorytelling.Mostcharacters(inanytypeof storytellingmedium)needtoadaptoneofthese,eithertheirgoal/wantor theirmethod,asaresultofthelessontheylearn.Thefilmaccomplishesthis byshiftingthecharacterarcor“lessonlearned”toadicerent character.In steadofAriellearningthelessonsthattheoriginallittlemermaiddid,King Tritonisthecharacterwhogrowsandlearns.Icouldwriteonthistopicfor hours,butfornow,we’llkeepittoashortsummary.Tritonlearnstolethis daughterbeherownpersonandpursueherowndreams.It’sarelatableand 44

Pop Culture Pieces

Photo by Michaela Strecker

From Kanye to Ye:

Throughthelensofthepublic,Westmayappeartobeconfident sometimesevenoverlyconfident.EventhoughYemightseem - likeh wayshaditallfiguredout,hehasstillgonethroughchallengin esthroughouthislife.Throughthehardshipsthathefacedwhi provehimselftobebiggerthanjustaproducer,YealwayshadDon by Joyita Dev hismother,tofallbackonforadvice.Shewastheonlyfigureinhisl by Joyita Dev and Iya Wakil trulybringYeinnerpeace,andwhenshepassedawayin207dueto- surg Whatisourobsessionwithcelebrityculture?Relationshipbetween calcomplications,hewasdevastated.Fromthatpointon,wesaw fansandcelebrities?Mentalhealthinthemedia?Havewe-becomedesensi to tizedtotheseissues?Inthisanalysis,wewillbelookingatthelife ofregain Kanye afullgripofhismentalhealth. TheonlyotherfigurethattrulyunderstoodandhelpedYet West,oneofthemostinfluentialyetmisunderstoodrappersofmoderntime. mentalhealthchallengeswasKimKardashian.Throughout-their Althoughdeemedtohavean“obnoxiousego”,Westhasdealtwithvarious ship,Kimhelpedhimregainasenseofstability.In203,KanyeWestmet mentalhealthissues,suchasBPD,thathaveimpactedhisday-to-daylife. KanyeWestwasfirstviewedinthepubliceyeinaMaseInterviewin hisfuturewifewhileworkingonatrackwithAmericansinger-son Brandy.KardashianwasalongtimefriendofBrandyandstayedwit 198.Hewasknownforbeingasmallproducer,makingbeatsforlocal - art whilesheandWestrecordedtheirmusictogether.Kardashiana istsaroundhisarea.Eventually,hedevelopedauniquestylethatinvolved didn’tdeveloppastfriendshipuntiltheearl speedingupvocalsandaddingmultipleelements.However,Ye - wasnotrelationship sat appearedonKourtneyandKimTakeNewYork.Throughthisshow,Kim isfiedwithonlybeingknownforhisproducingskills.Hehadalwayshada and Yewereabletodeveloptheirrelationshipwithoneanot passionforwritingversesandrappingthem,andhedidthisoftenover the beatsheproduced.Asaresult,WestbeganlookingforopportunitiesApril tobe 201,YeprofessedhislovetoKiminhissong“Theraflu.”Inthesong hesays,“AndI’lladmit,IfellinlovewithKim‘roundthesametimesh recognizedforhisrappingandproducingabilities.Hehadworked torevi fellinlovewit’him/Well,that’scool,babygirl,doyathing.”The“him talizeJAY-Z’scareerandhelpedhimproducesongsforhis201albumThe referstoisKrisHumphries,KimKardashian’sex-husband.Kimreveal Blueprint.Aftermanychallengesalongtheway,hefinallyattainedarecord dealwithRoc-A-Fella.Fromthatpointon,Westfoundsuccessin - thecreanextdaythatshelikedYe’ssongandstated,“youneverknowwha holds.” tionandsuccessofmultiplealbums,includinghisTheCollegeDropout and Thatnextmonth,KimKardashianandKanyeWestconfirmedtheir LateRegistrationerafrom20-6,Graduation,80s&Heartbreakera relationship.Theearly201swerefilledwithheartfeltmoments - fo from207-9,MyBeautifulDarkTwistedFantasyerafrom201-, dashian-Westfamily.In2013,thetwoannouncedthebirthoftheir - daug theYeezusandAdidascollaborationerafrom2013-5,TheLifeofPablo terNorthWest,andayearlater,theyhadtheirweddingceremony erafrom2016-7,hisYeerafrom2017-9,andhis2019-presentera wereviewedasapowercouplebythewesternmedia.InDecember2014, involvingJesusIsKing,Donda,andhismostrecentalbum,Donda2. KimandYe’sweddingphotowasthemostlikedphotoonInstagram KanyeWestisnotonlyknownforhismusicaltalentbutisalsoknown forhisoutspokenviews.Hehasbeenafrequentsourceofcontroversyover on 2.4millionlikes.Twoyearslater,however,thepopularityofth died down. socialmedia,atawardsshows,andinpublicsettings.Oneof-hismostinfa Thatnextmonth,KimKardashianandKanyeWestconfirmedtheir mousmomentswasatthe209MTVVideoMusicAwards,whereheinter relationship. Theearly201swerefilledwithheartfeltmoments - fo ruptedTaylorSwift’sawardacceptancespeechaftershewon“BestVideo by dashian-Westfamily.In2013,thetwoannouncedthebirthoftheir - daug aFemaleArtist”.Thismomentmayhavebeeninsignificantatthetime,but ter NorthWest,andayearlater,theyhadtheirweddingceremony accordingtosomecritics,itwentontoforeshadowWest’seventual transfor wereviewedasapowercouplebythewesternmedia.InDecember2014, mationintoa“pop-culturevillain.”

The Shift in Kanye West’s Public Perception

KimandYe’sweddingphotowasthemostlikedphotoonInstagramwith Yefellintoanevenlowermentalstateafterhisex-wife - KimKa over2.4millionlikes.Twoyearslater,however,thepopularityofthiscouple anappearedonSaturdayNightLiveasaguestonOctober9,201.Inoneof died down. hersketches,KardashiandressedupasJasminefromDisney’sAlad OnSaturday,July16,20KimKardashianreleasedaleakedphone kissedherco-starPeteDavidsonwhowasportrayingthetitle c callbetweenKanyeWestandTaylorSwift.Swifthadpreviouslyexpressed terthisepisodeofSNLaired,rumorsofDavidsonandKardashian’s greatdiscomfortwiththewayshewasportrayedinWest’ssong“Famous. ” shipbegantospreadacrosssocialmedia. Swiftstatedthatsheneverconsentedtothemisogynisticlanguageaimed Westat wasoutragedandconfusedbythisnewpairing.OnhisInst herinWest’ssong.KimKardashiansoonafter,however,saidthatSwiftwas account,WestmadecountlesspostsabouthisdisapprovalofKar lyingaboutnotconsentingtothelyrics.Intheleakedphonecall,Swift newseems relationship.Afterseeingthesehatefulposts,rapperKidC toapproveofthesongandeventhanksWestforcommunicatingwithher formerfriendofWest,calledouttherapperforhisbehavior.-Yepu aboutthelyricsbeforehand.Fromthis,thousandsofpeoplefloodedTaylor tancedhimselffromtherapperafterthisincident. Swift’sInstagram,commentingsnakeemojisonherposts. YealsoleakedprivatemessagesfrombothKimKardashianand WestandKardashianmadeSwiftouttobethevillainofthesituation, DavidsononhisInstagramandincitedhisfriendstoscreamatDa butinactuality,Swiftdidn’tconsenttoallofthelyricsaimedather inwere West’s they toeverseehiminpublic.Ye’stoxicityledmanyofhis - fan song.WestmadeSwiftouttobethevillaininthissituation,andwhen the tancethemselvesfromhim.Theoncewell-lovedrapperwasnowsee publicrealizedthatSwiftwasinnocent,manyturnedonWest - andKardashi villainwithinthemusicindustry. an. AfterhisoutburstonInstagram,KimKardashianunfollowedWe Thetwoformerlyidolizedcelebritieswereseenwithanegativeon lens for Instagram, andPeteDavidsondeletedhisaccountduetothe thefirsttimeinyears.KimKardashianWestdidn’twantthis-momentto de threats hewasreceivingfromYe’sfans.Davidson’sstruggleswit fineherasanindividual.ShefocusedhertimeonstudyingfortheBarExam healthcausedhimtodeletehisInstagramaccountearlier.Heo andworkingonprisonreform.West,ontheotherhand,focused-onadicerInstagramforafewweeksuntilhefeltlikehehadtoleaveoncea entgoal:runningforpresidentoftheUnitedStates.Ye’scampaignwasoften HewasecstaticaboutDavidsonleavingthesocialmediapl jokedaboutonsocialmediaplatformslikeTikTok,butWestfirmlybelieved feltlikehehadfinallywonthebattleandthattherewasnoth thathecouldwinthepresidentialelection.AsourceclosetoKardashian stophim.told Butwiththissmallvictorycamemanylosses.Westlost PageSixmagazinethatKardashian“justhadenoughofit.”Divorcerumors credibilityasanartist,aswellasfriendsandsupporters. soonfloodedthetabloids,buttherumorswereeventuallyconfirmedtobeYedidn’tstophere,however.OnFebruary2,0hereleasedhis truewhenKardashianfiledfordivorcefromWestonFebruary19,20. musicvideofor“Eazy”featuringTheGame.Intheclaymationmusicvid Eventhoughthedivorce,Kardashianwassupportiveofherex-husband. WestkidnapsPeteDavidsonandthendriveshimtoadeserteda AtaChicagolisteningpartyforYe’salbumDonda,KimKardashianappeared there,WestburiesPeteDavidsonsothatonlyhisheadisabovet inaBalenciagaCoutureweddinggown.West’sDondaalbumwasnamedforThen,YeplacesroseseedsaroundDavidson’shead.Theroseseven hismotherwhopassedawayin207followingcosmeticsurgery.Westwas bloomandYepicksseveralfromaroundPeteandpacksthemintoa raisedbyhismotherandcaredforhermorethananyoneelseinhislife. Her Inthisscene,Westreferenceshepurchasedatruckloado truck. deathchangedwhohewasasaperson.Afterhismother’sdeath, Yewasin histhen-wifeKimKardashianonValentine’sDay.Finally,thevideof terviewedbyQMagazine.Intheinterview,hesaid,“IfIhadnevermovedtoblack.Apatchofwhitetextappearsontheblackscreenand-read L.A.she’dbealive..Idon’twanttogofarintoitbecauseitwillbringmeto ONELIVEDHAPPILYEVERAFTER,EXCEPT SKETE YOUKNOWWHO. tears.”Westblamedhimselfforhismother’sdeathandwasinapoormental JK,HE’SFINE.” statebecauseofthis. 50

Ye’scomfortabilitywithpostingpersonalinformationontheInternet Themediahastakenthis“celebritybeef”andhasrunwithit blursthelinebetweenfanandcelebrity.Associalmediabecomesmore and articles arewrittenleftandrightdetailingYe’sdescentin moreintegratedintoeverydaylife,thedistancebetweenfansandis celebrities apparenttoallthatWestisnotinthebeststatementall shortens.Celebritieswhowereonceidolizedandthought - tobefrom anoth onlyseeWest’sdownfallasanopportunitytosell however, morem erplanetarejustoneclickaway.Youcansendthemadirectmessagezines. atthe Thesetabloidsunderstandthatmanypeopleenjoyseeing timeandcanlearnalmostanythingaboutthem.Insteadofidols,celebrities growbetweencelebrities.There’sareasonwhythemostpopular arenowseenasrelatablefigureswhocouldbefriendswithan - everyday per UpwiththeKardashiansareaboutdramawithinthe ofKeeping Kar son. an-Jennerhousehold.Gettingabsorbedinthelivesofthe-ultra Ye’sconstantpostingonsocialmediaisn’tjusttoantagonize Pete Da mous allows peopletoforgetabouttheirtroubles.TheWest-Davi vidson.Hewantshisfanstorallybehindhimandgivehimthesupportis he so anotherpieceofdramaforthepublictoclingto. just desperatelydesires.Thosewhocallthemselves“truefans” - ofYewilldoKanye what West’stumultuouspasttwoyearsremindushow-deeplyj everheasksbecausetheyseetheartistasafriend.Thereshouldbe aclear ousy canacectsomeone.West’smusicaltalentisundeniable,but boundarybetweencelebritiesandtheirfandom.Thepower - imbalance be public outburstshaveledsometostrayawayfromtheartist.His tweenthesegroupsisstaggering.Yeshouldn’tbeabusinghiscelebrity status readrms thenotionthatcelebrityculturestillhasinfluence to tell his fans to verbally harass Pete Davidson. ofthepublicandhaspossiblydesensitizedustotheseverityo ThoughitisclearthatYehasmanyfaults,heisalsothetargetaround ofjokes us.InsteadoffeelinganysortofsympathyforWestandthose abouthisstruggleswithbipolardisorder.Yehasopenedupabouthis hatred edby hisactions,thepublichassensationalizedtheevent. - AsWe ofbeingcalled“crazy.”ThisnarrativethatpeoplediagnosedwithBPD are andfurtherdownthisrabbitholeofmentalinstability,b ther “crazy”isextremelydetrimentaltothosewhohavethedisorder.West cannot and thepublicbecomemoreinfatuatedwithhim.Attentionisth controlhisbrain’schemistryandshouldnotbebelittledforhisthat condition. Westlongsformorethananythingelse.Itallowshimtofeell However,Westshouldtakemedicationandgototherapytohelphimdeal beinglistenedto. withthismentalillness.ThoughseveralindividualsintheUnitedStatesdo nothaveaccesstomedicationortherapyformentalhealthissues,Yedoes, andheshouldmakeuseoftheseservices. ItisunderstandablewhyYebecamesoattachedtoKimKardashian. Af terthelossofhismother,Yehadnorealfamily.Hismotherwaseverything tohim,andhepossiblyclungtoKimbecausehewantedtoregain thefam ilyhehadlost.HavingchildrenwithKardashianandcommunicatingevery thoughtandfeelingwithhermayhaveallowedhimtocometobetterterms withthelossofhismother.AfterKardashianfiledfordivorce,Isuspectthat Westwaspulledbacktothememoriesofhismotherpassingaway,forhe wasonceagainseparatedfromhisfamily.HesawPeteDavidsonastheone responsibleforhisangerandfrustrationandresented - himtomakehim selffeelbetter.It’spossiblethatYewantedDavidsontofeelthesameinner turmoilthathehadfelt.JealousyandrevengeseemtobeYe’s - mainmotiva tions. 52

Starbucks Releases Manual on How

to Eat Cake pops By Sabrina Wilson

f l o o f vs.

fu r y

By Vivian Baughman

Dependingonyourview,chickensareeitherballsofflooforfury.Some peoplehavehadtraumaticexperienceswithchickens.Othershavet Starbucksreleasedamanualthisweekinstructingcustomers howchickens topropertodotricks,rideinbikebaskets,andevencuddlewiththe lyconsumetheircakepops.Thereleaseofthemanualcamedaysafterarecording PersonallyIlovemychickens,butIcanalsoseetheirdownsides.Mychick surfacedofaWichita,Kansashighschoolseniorplacingacontaminatedcake pop mearoundandsitonmyshoulders.IfI’mdiggingorplantingsometh follow they arerightbymysidetoeatanythingthatmovesandbeextremelyhe stickonacouch.Thestudentclaimedhetook“greatcare”nottotouchthe stick, splittingonmyshovel.Whenweoccasionallyhaveroostersthey - picko butacademicexpertshavedisputedhisclaim. one,pull DocumentsleakedfromtheFederalBureauofInvestigationstate,“Thestick wasfeathers,andgenerallymakeeveryone’slifemiserable.Somet roosterswill“challenge”mebychargingmylegsandpeckingme.HoweverIk ravagedandleftfordeadonthefabricofacouch.”Thestudentisexpelledand theonlywaytowinthisconfrontationistosimplyshownoreaction/w facingfederalcharges. andthenerraticallystoptowardsthem.Theroostersaren’talwa StarbucksCEO,KevinJohnson,releasedastatementfollowing - thedisturb Chickens haveastrictandsometimesbrutalpeckingorder.Wehaveh ingvideoandconsequentialmanualrelease:“Ourcakepopmanualswillbe given teamuponamembertosuchanextentthatsheneededtoberelocate toeachcustomeruponpurchaseofacakepop.Ouremployeesarecurrently train ercoop.However,eventhoughtheycanbeutterlyvicioustoeachothe ingonthepropercakepopconsumptionmethodsshoulddemonstration beneces also bring each other gifts, preen each other, dust bathe together, and of course, sary.Webelievethesafestmethodofconsumptionistognawonthecakepoplike theyallparticipateintheearsplitting,good-naturedeggcelebra abeaver,soastoavoidtouchingthestick.” SeniorEnglishteacherandviolatedcouchowner,PeterDeVries, comment ed,“WhenIsawthedisfiguredstickonthearmofthecouch,mywholelifeflashed beforemyeyes.Somebodycalled91,butIknewitwastoolate.Thedamagewas irrevocable.”DeVriesandtheschoolhavecooperatedwithauthorities, immedi atelyturningthestickovertotheFBIandcomplyingtosendwitnesses. Thecakepopwaspurchasedbyastudentwhoarrivedlatetoschooldueto anathleticactivity.Shereportedlyoceredittoanotherstudentwhorejectedit, allowingtheocendertoacceptit.Itisunclearifeitherthestudentwhopurchased thecakepoporthestudentwhorefuseditwillfacecharges.HeadoftheFBI, ChristopherA.Wray,statedthatmanslaughterchargesareunderconsideration. Aftertheanalysisofthecakepopstickisfinished,thestickwillbeburnedin acontainedenvironment.Theashesarealreadyundercontract - fortheSmithso nian.Thereiscurrentlynotimelineforwhenthecasewillbeclosed.UnitedStates AttorneyGeneral,MerrickB.Garland,said,“Thisisundoubtedlythecaseofthe century.10yearsfromnowpeoplewilldebatethisinthesamewaywediscuss Marburyvs.Madison.Weshouldbehonoredtobealiverightnow.” 54

Photo by Vivan Baughman

The Official Disney Princesses Ranked By Wambui Ngunjiri

These princesses are ranked based on their character and their movies. This list is completely unbiased and objectively correct, argue with a wall and even it will back me up.

#14 - Snow White

#11 - Merida

Sheisherebecausehermoviewassomid,Ionlyrememberthearrow scene.Shewasanangstyteenwhodidn’twanttoobeyhermomand wantedtodoherownthing-Irespectthat.Theproblemcomeswhen sheturnstoawitchtodealwithhermom.Idon’trememberwhether ornotsheknewaboutthebearthing,butplanningtoenchantyour motherisprettymessedupinmynot-so-humbleopinion.Ihaven’t watchedBraveinaLONGwhile,butIdorememberfindingher - char acterveryannoying,and,outsideofthearrowscene,8yearoldme never liked her.

SnowWhiteislovelyandseemsnice,butshe’sboring.Literallynot oncedidhercharacterinterestmeinherstory,onlyhercircumstances andthepeoplearoundherkeptusinterested.Shewasveryreactive andhadnosenseofstrangerdanger.Iknowit’sbeensaid,butithas nowbeensaidoncemore.Sheshould’vegrabbedastickandwhacked thehelloutofherstepmother,thatwomandon’tknowhowtofight.

#13 - Sleeping Beauty IamaSleepingBeautydefender24/7,BUTthere’sliterallynowhere elsetoputheronthislist.Shehadacutesong,flirtedforaminute,and tookanap.ShegetsbrowniepointsfordancingandforNOTrunning awayallthetime,butattheendofthedayshefoundaglowingspindle anddidn’tthinktwiceabouttouchingit.Alsoshewasnappingforhalf themovie,andwhileIrespectherforit,itdoesn’tdomuchforheron this list.

(Brave)

#10 - Cinderella

Enteringusintothetop10istheclassicsqueenherself-Cind Cinderellamoviecomesoutonceevery5yearsduetosomebloo madewithHollywoodatthereleaseofthismovie.She’sanicon legend,butthisisherplaceonthelistbecause,likeAurora nowhereelsetogo.SorrytoyoudiehardCinderellafans,butca whenshehasaninterestingmovie.Awonderfulpersonwhomak thebestofanawfulsituationisanincrediblecharacter,b is70%catandmouse.Iliterallycan’tgetthroughitbecauseitf waytoolittleontheactualtitlecharacter,andway - toomu mentedcatchasingtalkingrodentsandmakingCinderella jobs harder.

#9 - Pocahontas

Ilovedhersongsandmoviepersonality,buthermovieisnotgreat. Iwon’tdelvetoomuchintothisone,butoneGooglesearchintothe problemsofPocahontas(195)willtellyouallyouneedtoknow. Otherthanthat,she’sherebecauseIdon’trememberhermovie.Isat hereforawhiletryingtorememberwhathappened,butIrealizedmy onlyoptionistowatchthemovie,andIdon’thavethattime.Asfor hercharacter,shewascourageous,funloving,andshewasincredibly athletic.Herclicdiveisabsolutelyterrifyingtothinkaboutdoing,but Shehasnoconceptoffineprintandmakesiteveryoneelse’sproblem.shewentforitwithbarelyasplash.10/,theOlympicscouldnever. That’sit.That’sthemovie.Now,tohercredit,shewasfun,spirited, andIkindofgetwhereshe’scomingfromasafellowteenager whore fusestothinkbeforesheacts,butheractionsputeveryoneelse’slives atstake.Inthethirdactfight,whereeveryonewasfacing theconse She knew what she wanted and went for it and we love her quencesSHECREATED,shedoesnothing.Alsothemovieitself,while forit.ThisiconicDisneyprincesshadthelooksandthe classic,isnotthetypeofclassicyouwanttocontinuetowatch.Noone tomatch.Themovieismagicalandcaptivating,andyouha sitsdownexcitedtowatchTheLittleMermaid,theyfinditrandomly onaSundayafternoononDisneyPlusandsay-“Whatthehell?”All clearfeelingsforeachcharacterthroughoutthemov inall,Ericshouldnothavemarriedher,buttheyshould’vedatedand hertasteinmencanbequestioned,butwe’llletitgo gonetocouplestherapyfirstbecausenothingabouttheirrelationship moment.IwillcriticizeherfornotaskingtheBeastfor felt stable to me. name.Ijustfeellikeitshould’vecomeupinconversat

#12 - Ariel

(The Little Mermaid)

#8 - Belle

(Beauty & the Beast)

insteadofherstillcallinghim“Beast”.I’dbeprettyt ifIwasinadeathdefyingbattleagainstaminisculemin misogynistandallofsuddenIheard-“BEAST!”

#7 - Elsa

(Frozen)

Hermovieisiconicforareason.Thesongsslap,thestoryis heartwarming,andthecharactersareveryinteresting.Elsa beingboththeheroandthevillainofherstoryallwhilelooking (Tangled) soprettyisabsolutelyiconbehaviour.Myonlyissuewithher isthat,ifIwasinArendelle,Iwouldtryandgetherdethroned. ThewayI’malwaysdowntowatchthismovieatevery sec Thefirsttimeshescrewsoverthekingdomiswithaneternal ond of the day. The songs, the chameleon, the pan, the MAN, winter,and,inherdefense,itwasanaccident,butthesecond everyinchofthisgirlandthisstoryisabsolutelyincredible. timewasonpurposeandIwould’vefoundherandslappedher. Funfact:itwasalsothefirsttimeIsawsomeonegetstabbed Howyougonnawakeupthespiritsoftheforestandmakeus ALLrelocatebecauseyou“hearavoice”.Granted,shedidheara onscreenwhichwasascarringexperienceatage6. voice,buttheydidn’tknowthat.TothecitizensofArendelleshe wasthecrazyqueenwhowakesupandchoosesviolence.

#3 - Rapunzel

#6 - Anna

(Frozen)

FollowinghersisterisMissAnna,andIloveherbecauseshe isjustwaylessproblematicthanhersister.She - isloving,en ergetic,relatable,andsomeoneveryfuntofollowthroughout thefranchise.ShechecksElsawhenneeded,andsupportsher whenneeded.Annaevenmakesamuchbetterqueenthan Elsaduetoherlackofconnectiontomagicalspirits.Myonly hangupwasthefactthatshegotdupedbyprincesideburns, butI’llletitslide.

#5 - Jasmine

(Princess & the Frog)

MyentirechildhoodisrighthereandIcannotsayabadthing abouther.She’shardworking,empathetic,goal-driven, gor geous,lovely,andGORGEOUS.Hermovieisfullofcolor,fun animation,andjazzthatslaps.Unfortunately,-themoviede monizesvoodoo,animportantculturalpractice,andmakes TianaandNaveenfrogsfor80%ofthemovie.Thiskindofhurts herratingandmyenjoymentofthemovie,butshe’sstilloneof the best.

ShesavesChina,hasatalkingdragon,andsnagsamanont way.Thiswomanisalegend.WhileherstorydeviatesHARD fromtheoriginallegendofMulan,themovieisenjoyable whatitis.Icouldmakepagesofcomplimentsforher,butat theendofthedayitcanallbesummedupinthefact - that NABOWEDDOWNTOHER.

(Aladdin)

Beginningthetop5isthesultanaherself,Jasmine.Shewas incredibletheentiretyofhermovieandtooknobody’scrap. She’ssmart,cunning,beautiful,andkeptmeentertainedthe entiretyofAladdin.There’snotadullmomentinthismovie, andthescenewithherandAladdininthemarketisingrained inmybrainduetothehumour,thechemistry,andthe“Iam thePrincessscene.”She’salsoatrailblazerasthefirstWOC Disneyprincess.

#4 - Tianna

#2 - Mulan

#1 - Moana WHOELSEcantopthislistotherthantheonewhosaved theWORLD.Shewasfunny,understanding,andIfeltthe waysheyelledintheoceaneverytimesomethingwent wronginmysoul.Hermoviewasdefinitelyoneofthemost entertainingDisneymoviesofthe209-era.Thisis another movie that I’m always down to watch, and I can still remembertheprimalterrorthatthisscene(bottompicture) gaveme. HerscramblingtowardMoanamakesmefearformylife, andthere’snotenoughsunscreenintheworldtohelpme dealwiththatheat.Moana,though,wantedALLtheheat (punintended).

The Avengers: WORST HAIRSTYLES By Wambui Ngunjiri

Tony Stark (Iron man) Age of Ultron (2015)/Captain America: Civil War (2016)

Clint Barton (hawkeye) Avengers Endgame (2019) Contrary to my own initial thoughts when I first thought this, but I don’t actually hate the side shave. That SIDE SWOOP though… gots to go. It just does. It’s bad because that’s the new look he chose to be an assassin. Of all the changes you could’ve made… why this. It’s bad because if you’re going for the rebrand, switch it up completely. Staying the same is so boring. 4.5/10

I have yet to see so much privilege work on anybody, and Tony Stark is no exception. I mean, I get he thinks he’s doing the right thing, but why does it always become everyone else’s problem? Does this dude ever rest? As for his hair, it isn’t the worst look on him, but all of his actions were annoying as hell. 5.6/10

Thor Thor (2011)

Steve Rodgers (Captain America)

PURELY because of the dyed eyebrows, otherwise he has no bad looks. His natural hair color is SO much better, so here is Ragnarok Thor for your enjoyment. 5.3/10

The Avengers (2012)

I have no words but, for some reason, this look is SO OLD. An instant double take is mandated because I keep forgetting this look is a thing and, compared to other looks, I hate it, so here is Infinity War Cap to soften the blow. 4.3/10

Bruce Banner(hulk) The Incredible Hulk (2008) Incredible Hulk: I have never once seen this movie, but this look is giving very much emo boy. Like of course he’s “always angry”, I’d be very angry too if a crap ton of radiation gave me that much muscle and I still had that hair. Hulk’s probably tracking down his barber. 8.5/10

Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow) Iron Man 2 (2010) When I tell you I was waiting for this one because it HAUNTS ME IN MY SLEEP. So many questions: How did she get those curls when her hair was in a bun two scenes before the fight, why is she wearing prom curls to a fight, where’s the hair tie she most likely used to hold up her hair during the fight, and most of all WHY. It is so distracting watching her fight with that hair, and I physically can’t do it. Love all her other looks though. 7.5./10 61

A Subjective (but Entirely Correct) Ranking of Live-Action Films (Plus One Exception)

#11. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016) Ben Affleck, dir. Zack Snyder

By Ovi Davis EversinceIwasalittlekid,I’veloved,loved,lovedBatman.MyfirstmemoriesofBatmanarevery dicerentfrommostpeoples’;mostbecomefamiliarwiththeCapedCrusaderthroughcartoons,but “SaveMartha”? myfirstBatmanwasAdamWestinthe1960stelevisionseries.I’vegrownsincethen,Ipromise. Saveyourselffromthisgarbage. Iamnotthe8-year-oldIoncewas.ButI’vebetrayedthatpoor8-year-old.NowthatIdon’thave afavoriteBatman,I’velostalldirection.So,sandwichingmyscreeningofTheBatman(20),I decideditwastimetodecideonthebestBatmanfilm.Thatwouldrequireananalysisofeachone, soIhopeyou enjoythepainIwentthroughtobringyouthisdefinitiverankingofBatmanFilms.

Warning:ThislistmaycontainspoilersforeveryBatmanfilm,includingTheBatman(20).

#13. Batman (1943) and New Adventures of Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder (1949) Lewis Wilson, dir. Lamber Hillyer, Spencer Gordon Bennet

Thesetwo15-partserialswerethefirst timetheworldsawtheDarkKnighton film.Consideringthesetwofilmswerethe inspirationforthelatermovementthat madeBatmanthedark,edgycharacterwe recognizehimastoday,it’ssafetosaythat Iwon’tbewatchingtheseifIcaneverget mygrubbylittlegremlinhandsonthem.

#12. Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder (1997) George Clooney, dir. Joel Schumacher

Ithinkitsaysenoughthatthisfilm singlehandedlyendedafranchise.Also, nipplesuits.PropstoGeorgeClooneyfor existing,though.Keepitgoing,king.

#10. Batman (1966)Adam West, dir. Leslie H. Martinson

Beforethethree-seasontelevi series,therewasthismasterpie Theonlythingkeepingthisridiculou moviehigherthanBatmanv-Super manisthesharkrepellentBat-spr

#9. The Christian DarkBale,Knight Rises (2012) dir. Christopher Nolan Ah,yes.TheChristopherNolanslanderbeginshere.Christian Bale’sBatmanisoverhypedandoverrated.Heactslikeanincel throughouttheseries,convincedhis“highschoolsweetheart” (nowdead)iswaymoreinterestedinhimthansheis.ThisBruce WayneandBatmanareincrediblydull;there’snowaytotell whereBatmanendsandBruceWaynebeginsbecausethey’rethe samedark,edgy,nitty-grittyguyswithnopersonalityexceptfor maybethinkinghecanchangehisex’smind.She’sdeadinthis one, by the way. Speakingofincrediblydull,thismovieissoboring,Ihavenever oncebeencapableofsittingthroughthewholething.AHarry StylesfanfictioninwhichmymothersellsmetoOneDirectionto makeuphergamblingdebtswouldhaveamoreinterestingplot thanthis.Theonlyenjoyablepartsofthisfilmare - AnneHatha way’sexistenceandTomHardy’sBanevoice. 63

#8. Batman Begins (2005) Christian Bale, dir. Christopher Nolan Batman Batmanmay maybegin beginin in205,but 205,butI’m I’mnot notsure surewhere whereto. to. Firstly,my mygripes gripeswith withChristian ChristianBale’s Bale’sBatman Batmanare arestill still Firstly, thesame; same;there thereis isno nodicerence dicerencebetween betweenBruce BruceWayne Wayneand and the Batman, Batman,and andhe heremains remainsinsucerably insucerablyobsessed obsessedwith withthe thelove love interest as ever. Truly “Gatsbycore. ” Also, all films with interestasever.Truly“Gatsbycore.”Also,allfilms - withAra Ara biccharacters charactersmade madeso soshortly shortlyafter afterthe the9/1attacks 9/1attacksshould should bic bediscarded. discarded.Props Propsto tothis thismovie moviefor forhelping helpingme melearn learnthat that be Liam LiamNeeson Neeson(cast (castas asBatman’s Batman’slegendary legendarysupervillain supervillainRa’s Ra’s al -- some alGhul) Ghul)is isa aChineseChinese-Arabic Arabicman, man,though. though.You Youlearn learn some thingnew newevery everyday! day!IIcan’t can’tbelieve believeIIthought thoughthe hewas waswhite. white. thing Thereal realpositive positivehere hereis isjust justhow howsympathetic sympatheticHarvey HarveyDent Dent The has hasbecome. become.Look Lookat atyou yougo, go,Christopher ChristopherNolan, Nolan,making makinga a well-rounded roundedcharacter. character.So Soproud proudof ofyou! you! well-

#7. Batman Dracula (1964)Jack Smith,Dracula dir. Andy Warhol (1964)#7. Batman Jack Smith, dir. Andy Warhol I’m I’mgoing goingto toget getfurther furtherinto intoTim TimBurton’s Burton’sBatman Batman filmsonce oncewe weget getto toour ourtop topthree, three,but butIIcan cantell tellyou you films you’rein infor fora atreat treatwith withthis thisone. one.This Thisfilm film isn’tan an you’re -- isn’t ywhere near as wonderful as Michael Keaton’s first ywherenearaswonderfulasMichaelKeaton’sfirst appearance appearanceas asthe theCaped CapedCrusader, Crusader,but butit itholds holdsa a specialplace placein inmy myheart heartanyway. anyway.Tim TimBurton’s Burton’s special campy campyyet yetdark darkaesthetic aestheticcould couldbe betied tiedto toboth both earlier and more recent comics. Michelle Pfeicer, earlierandmorerecentcomics.MichellePfeicer, whilenot notmy myfavorite favoriteCatwoman, Catwoman,served servedas asusual, usual, while and no Penguin will ever compare to Danny DeVi andnoPenguinwillevercomparetoDanny - DeVi to. to.Give Givethe theTim TimBurton BurtonBatman Batmanfilms filmsa achance chanceif if you haven’t t. ye youhaven’tye

#6. Batman Returns (1992)Michael Keaton, dir. Tim Burton I’mgoing goingto toget getfurther furtherinto intoTim TimBurton’s Burton’sBatman Batmanfilms filmsonce oncewe we I’m getto toour ourtop topthree, three,but butIIcan cantell tellyou youyou’re you’rein infor fora atreat treatwith withthis this get one. This film isn’t anywhere near as wonderful as Michael Kea one.Thisfilmisn’tanywherenearaswonderfulasMichael Kea ton’s ton’sfirst firstappearance appearanceas asthe theCaped CapedCrusader, Crusader,but butit itholds holdsa aspecial special placein inmy myheart heartanyway. anyway.Tim TimBurton’s Burton’scampy campyyet yetdark darkaesthetic aesthetic place could couldbe betied tiedto toboth bothearlier earlierand andmore morerecent recentcomics. comics.Michelle Michelle Pfeicer, while not my favorite Catwoman, served as Pfeicer,whilenotmyfavoriteCatwoman,servedasusual, usual,and andno no Penguinwill willever evercompare compareto toDanny DannyDeVito. DeVito.Give Givethe theTim TimBurton Burton Penguin Batman Batmanfilms filmsa achance chanceif ifyou youhaven’t haven’tyet. yet.

#5. The Dark Knight (2008) Christian Bale, dir. Christopher Nolan TheDark DarkKnight Knightis isliterally literallythe theonly onlymovie movie--in inChristo Christo The pherNolan’s Nolan’strilogy trilogythat thatIIenjoyed. enjoyed.IIstill stillcan’t can’tstand stand pher this thisversion versionof ofBruce BruceWayne Wayneand andBatman, Batman,but butHeath Heath Ledger’s Ledger’sperformance performanceas asthe thejoker jokermore morethan thanmakes makesup up forit. it.IIdon’t don’tlove lovethe thedarker darkertakes takeson onthe theJoker Jokerthat thatwe we for seetoday, today,but butHeath HeathLedger’s Ledger’sabilities abilitiesblew blewme meaway away see enough enoughto todistract distractme mefrom fromthe theparts partsof ofthe themovie moviethat that IIdidn’t enjoy as much which ( was pretty much any didn’tenjoyasmuch(whichwasprettymuchany time timethe theJoker Jokerwasn’t wasn’ton onscreen) screen)..

BatmanForever Forever(1995)(1995)#7.#7.Batman Val Kilmer, dir. Joel Schumacher Val Kilmer, dir. Joel Schumacher

“Ovi,””you youmust mustbe besaying, saying,“why “whyis isBatman BatmanForever Forevernumber number “Ovi, four onyour yourlist?” list?”Why, Why,because becausethis thisis ismy mysubjective subjective(but (but four on entirelycorrect) correct)ranking, ranking,that’s that’swhy. why.Batman BatmanForeve Foreve entirely alwayshave havea aspecial specialplace placein inmy myheart. heart.Val ValKilmer Kilmerisn’t isn’t always bestBatman, Batman,and andhe’s he’san anokay okayBruce BruceWayne, Wayne,IIguess, guess,but but best thisisn’t isn’tBatman’s Batman’smovie; movie;this thisis isthe theRiddler’s Riddler’smo mo this JimCarrey Carreywas wasthe theperfect perfectfit fitfor forit. it.It’s It’ssilly sillyand andit’s it’sca ca Jim Thedialogue dialogueis ischeesy cheesyand andthe thecostumes costumeshurt hurtto toloo loo The don’teven evenremember rememberthe theplot, plot,and andI’ve I’veseen seenit ita athou thou don’t times.But Butisn’t isn’tthat thatexactly exactlyhow howyou’d you’dimagine imaginethe theRid Rid times. originstory storyto tofeel? feel?It’s It’sone oneof ofmy myfavorite favoritefilms filmsto towat wat origin whenI’m I’mfeeling feelingdown downbecause becauseit’s it’sjust justso sofun funand andeasy easy when laughat. at.IIrecommend recommendgiving givingthis thisone onea achance, chance,too, too,if ifyou you laugh haven’tyet. yet.It Itmay maynot notbe beyour yourcup cupof oftea, tea,but butit itsure sureis ismin min haven’t Unfortunately,the thenipple nipplesuit suitkeeps keepsit itat atnumbe numbe Unfortunately,

#6. Batman (1998)Michael Keaton, dir. Tim Burton IIjust justwant wantto toget getthis thisout outof ofthe theway: way:Jack JackNicholson Nicholsonis isthe theJoker. Joker. He’s a silly, campy little man who dresses amboyantly fl and He’sasilly,campylittlemanwhodressesflamboyantlyandcreates creates chaosin inGotham Gothamwith withhis hiscreativity. creativity.He Hedoesn’t doesn’tneed needto tobe bedark dark chaos and edgy to be sinister, and that’s great! I miss the Joker being andedgytobesinister,andthat’sgreat!ImisstheJokerbeinga a silly sillylittle littleguy. guy. Andnow, now,let letthe theMichael MichaelKeaton Keatonpropaganda propagandacommence. commence.Keaton Keaton And has reigned as my favorite Batman for several years, hasreignedasmyfavoriteBatmanforseveralyears,ever eversince sinceII was just a little kid. He may not be the perfect Batman, so wasjustalittlekid.HemaynotbetheperfectBatman,soto tosay, say, especiallysince sincehe hebreaks breaksthe thecardinal cardinal“no “nokilling” killing”rule rulewithin withinhis his especially firstfew fewseconds secondson onscreen, screen,but buthis hisportrayal portrayalof ofBruce BruceWayne Waynehas has first remained -is remainedunparalleled. unparalleled.Michael MichaelKeaton’s Keaton’sBruce BruceWayne Wayne isintelli intelli gent, kind, and funny. He wears turtlenecks and goofy glasses. gent,kind,andfunny.Hewearsturtlenecksandgoofyglasses.He’s He’s themaster masterdetective detectivewe weall allknow knowand andlove lovefrom fromthe thecomics. comics.For Forthe the the longest time, Michael Keaton was my Batman. longesttime,MichaelKeatonwasmyBatman. 65

#2. The Lego Batman Movie (2017)

#1. The Batman (2022)

Will Arnett, dir. Chris McKay

Robert Pattinson, dir. Matt Reeves

AREYOUKIDDINGME?!?!1/?1?!? MYFAVORITEBATMENGOTBEAT Andnow,ouroneexception.Ididn’twatchTheLegoBatmanMoviewhenitcame OUTBY THESPARKLINGVAMPIREBOY?!!?1!1?1/! Youshouldhaveseen out;Ihadforgottenaboutituntillate201.TheseanimatedLegosrockedmy Robe world,Ikidyounot.Ihadtowatchittwicebecausethefirsttime,Icouldn’thearmyfacewhenIrealizedabouthalfwaythroughthescreeningthat anythingovermylaughter.TheconversionofthedarkandbroodingBatmanwe tinsonhadbecomethebestBatmanyet. knowtodaytoatinylittleman-babywhodoesn’tcooperatewithotherpeoplewas Takeamomenttorememberallmypreviousyearningforanearlie hilarious.WillArnettandZachGalifianakisweretheperfectcasting choices,One espe whereBatmanwasstillfunandcampy,becauseatleastitwasbe ciallywiththeknowledgethatthetwocameupwiththecomparisonbetweenthe thenewer,darkerones.Nowtakeitandthrowitout,allbecauseoft JokerandBatman’srelationshiptothatofasillyrom-comtogether,withthewordThisfilmisn’tcamp,andit’snotevenremotelyfunny.TheRiddler– “fight”standinginfor“date,”and“hate”replacing“love.”MichaelCera asanawk favoriteGothamvillain–isn’tthegoofylittleguyheoncewas; - heis ward,youngDickGraysonwasadorableandhilarious,andthechoicetocastRalph fyingthreattothecity,andyet,Ididn’tmissthepreviousversions FiennesasAlfredwhenLegoVoldemortisliterallyinthemoviecracksmeupevery Wayneisn’tfunnylikeMichaelKeaton’s;he’sshyandawkward,notbeca time.TheBarrageofcelebritycameosarenoteworthy,too;Channing Tatumap he’sanadorabledork,butbecausehe’sbarelyleftthehousesince pearsbrieflyasSuperman,JonahHillasGreenLantern,andmuch,muchmore. murder.Andstill,itworksperfectly.Thereisacleardicerencebetw TherewasevenareferencetotheinfamoussharkrepellentBat-spray.Thefilm’s andBatmanwithoutbetrayingthecomicmaterialwithwhichthis hilaritycanbenotedbychildrenandadultsalike. closelytied.(Seriously,TheLongHalloweenisamazing.) LegoBatman’scharacterarcashelearnstoaccepthislovedones(suchasAlfred, Forthefirsthalfofthefilm,Ididn’tthinkRobertPattinson’sB Dick,andBarbara)–andevenhishatedones–intohislifeisbeautifulandhas wouldbeanydicerentthanChristianBale’s;hewasjustasdarka mademecryaboutathousandtimes.Itfeelslikeamuchmorecomic-accurate BatmantomethanmostBatmenwe’veeverseenbefore.It’srefreshingtoseehim Themomenthesaidinhisrough,gravellyvoice,“Iamvengeance,”Irolled growanddevelopandcometotermswiththefactthathewilllosepeopleinhis eyes.Butbytheend,Iwasshockedbythedevelopmenthewasgiven.Byth life,butthatdoesn’tmakehismomentswithhislovedonesanylessvaluable. He ofthefilm,thisBatmanwasnolongeravesselofvengeance. end - Hehad wasaperfectBatman,oneIdidn’tthinkcouldbereplacedasmyfavorite…until comeGotham’sprotector,RobertPattinsonhadbecomeBatman,and recently. becomethebestBatmanFilm.

How Euphoria Exceeds the New Demands of Television Entertainment in its Portrayal

aptation,however,theshowchoosestotakeamoremethodic diveintoRue,themaincharacter’s,drugaddictionandment struggles.Fromtheopeningsceneofeachepisodeviewersarem aninnermonologuefromtheshow’smaincast.Duringthe - firste sodeasRuereturnshomefromasummerrehabprogram,theaudi quicklylearnsthatshehaszerointentionstoremain - sobe isodeprogressesduringRue’sinnermonologue,itisheavilyi by Sharon Mabasa throughRue’sbehaviorthatshesucersfrombipolardisord anxiety.BymakingthesedepictionsofRue’ssubstanceabusee alongwiththehavocitrainsuponthroughherlife,theshow InarecentquotebytheauthorofSiliconStates,authorLucie strapstheaudiencedownforalongjourneythatisexpected Greenestates,“Inaneraoffakenews,andthefilterbubble,[GenZis] and attimesbeunpleasanttowatch.Yet,bydoingsoheavypara alsomorelikelytobeabletopushthroughthenoise.Notonlyare they - and abletoconsumemoreinformationthananygroupbefore,butthey aremadetothereal-lifepervasivenatureofaddiction cessofsobrietyismuchmorecomplicatedthanaquickstory - ar havealsobecomeaccustomedtocuttingthroughit.Theyareperhaps come. themostbrandcritical,questioninggrouparoundandwillcall outany Thissimilar,presentationisprevalentinalltheotherc behaviortheydislikeonsocialmedia.”Thedesireforuncut andunfil atransgender girlonthepathofself-discovery; - Nate,ah teredrealnessGenerationZstrivesforasresulthascausedJules, ashift inthe per-masculinejockwhouseshisaggressiontohidehisinsecu wayadolescenceisportrayedinthemediaandentertainment.Whereas earlytelevisionshowsofthelate90stomid-20stendedtofocuson abody-contentiousteenwholearnstofindliberation-thro ceptance; presentingthestrugglesofteenagersinawaythatwastelevision and andMaddy,thegirlfriendofNatewhofindsherselftr inanabusivelytoxicrelationship.Although,thecharacter family-friendly,timeshavechanged.Withtherapidexplosionofsocial complexinteractionsthataddtoeachstoryline,atthesh media,Hollywoodhasundergoneasimilarmetamorphosis - asaudienc esnowseekrelatability,realness,andsociallyawarecontent.characters Birthed aredefinedbythesemajorcharacterattribut theshow’sportrayalofmentalhealth,thisanalysiswillfo inaGenZfueledera,Euphoriaisonetelevisionshowthat isaddress character whosedevelopmentmostdirectlyfocusesonthet ingsubjectmatterssuchasaddictionandmentalillnessthat television mental health. networkshadpreviouslyveeredawayfrom.Throughtheshow’sunique - carew meldingofcurrentissueswiththeinherentcomingofagedramahighEuphoriahandlesthetopicofmentalhealthwith constructing thetrickynuancessothatallaudiencescan schoolentails,Euphoriaissheddingnewlightonmental - health aware Thisrelatabilitylargelyistheresultofthecon ness,whilealsoraisingquestionsifitscharacterportrayalsstruggle. arereflective theinnermonologuesprovide.Insteadofjustportrayingth oftheGenZexperience. the - ofint AlthoughthemajorityofaudienceswhohavewatchedEuphoria orplot,theinclusionofthemonologues,addsalevel tweentheaudienceandRue’sinnerpsyche.Anearlyexampleoft havejustheardoftheshowmayunawareofthefactthattheAmerican inthe monologueinwhichRuestates,“Ihadatherapistoncew versionisanadaptationofthe201Israelioriginal,alsotitledthe same thesestateswillwaxandwane.Whichgavemymother - reli name.Theoriginalfollowsessentiallythesamepremiseofagroupthat of causeitmeantthatinthebadtimes,therewouldbegoodtim highschoolerswhoareengagedinriskybehavior.IntheAmerican ad

of Relevant Issues Facing Today’s Teens

alladdtotheoverallaestheticsoftheshow.Despite- thes italsogaveheranxietybecauseitmeantthatinthegoodtimes,there ics,Euphoriabalancesouttheglamorbyfocusingonthecandid wouldbebadtimes.Italwaysconfusedme,becauseIdidn’tknowwhat strugglesofthecharacters,asseeninthesceneofRue’s ove itmeant.ButitdidsoundalotcalmerthanthewayIwoulddescribeit. pressiveepisodes,andtensionwithinherfamilythatis - dep Granted,Ididn’trealizeuntillaterwhatwaxingandwaningimplied. fore,IwouldconsiderEuphoriatobeawhiledramatizedattim Thatthesefeelingswerefixedandconstant.”Thesethoughts areperson showdoesnotromanticizetheuseofdrugsorself-destructi alandcanresonatewithviewersbecausetheyfeelauthentic.Thisquote Personally,thewritingofEuphoriaisarguablymyfavoriteasp revealsasentientofoptimismmetasenseofdefeat,afeelingmany show,Iamamazedbyhowthecreativewritingteamwasable - toar teenagerscanrelatewith,asRueespeciallyfeelstrappedwithinherown ulatetheoverwhelmingtornadoofemotionsthathighscho mindbecauseofhermentalillnesses.Additionally,Euphoriaisableto with it. resonatewithaudienceswhomaynotstrugglewithmentalhealthbut Inconclusion,whileGenZisahard-to-pleasegeneration, a aremadeawareoftheimportanceofoceringsupporttofriendsand ticityisgreatlyvalued.highschoolstudentsenjoywatchi familywhodostruggle. becauseitembracesthehavocofhighschoolbyfacingthereal AccordingtotheAmericanPsychologicalAssociation,only45% highschoolersalsodealwith“adultproblems”suchasaddi ofGenZwouldreporttheirmentalhealthasgoodorexcellent, there healthstruggles,andcomingtotermswiththeirself-ident fore,toacertaindegree,itmakessensethatsomanyteenagersareable Euphoria’sabilitytoapproachapproachingtheseissues - wit toconnecttoRue’sinnerstrugglewithhermentalhealth. DuringEu cialcontentiousness,andcaresothatproperawarenessca phoria’sone-hourspecial,entitled“TroubleDon’tAlwaysLast,”Rue thetopicofmentalhealthareallpartofthereasonthist sitsdownwithhersponsor,Ali,todiscusshersobriety.Thisdiscussion hasfoundsuccessinamongstanerawheretheaudiencesaren highlightstheimpactrelationshipscanhaveonmentalhealthandin criticizethemediatheyareconsuming. Rue’scase,alsosobriety.AlithroughouttheepisodeslowlywalksRueto therealizationthatherrelationshipwithJuleshasbecomecodependent, withRuedependingonJulesashersourceofhappiness.Incorrelation totheaudience,Euphoriahelpsnavigatethetrickycomplicationsofthe relationshipsteenagersexperienceinhighschoolandthereliancemany studentsplaceupontheserelationshipsasasource - ofhappiness.Fur thermore,inRue’sconversationwithAli,theinherentcomplications thatarisebecauseofthisarerevealed. However,criticsofEuphoriasaythattheshowisoverlyexplicit, toographicandthatitromanticizestheprecariousactivitiestheshow’s charactersengagein.Fromtheperspectiveofsomeonewhoiscurrently inhighschool,IbelievethatdruguseinEuphoriaisnomoreglamorized thanhighschoolinreallife.Additionally,Iwouldconsideralotofthe confusiontocomewiththedistinctcinematicsoftheshow,oneofthe firstaspectsoftheshowInoticedduringmyfirstviewingwasthecolors, style,anddistinctimagetheshowcreatesforitself.Whiletheseaspects 70

Miscellaneous

Photo by Wambui Ngunjiri

Extinguishing the Fire:

thereadingofcurrentandclassicnovelsfromavarietyofgenre evanttothecurrentworldourstudentslivein.”Eventhough t rietyofrequiredworksthatareassignedinCollegiateclasse opportunitiestomakechoices.Forexample,Ms.London’sAPLiterat CompositionIstudentshavethechancetochoosebetweenTheH Taleor1984andBelovedorTheUndergroundRailroad.Thebooksare By: Sabrina Wilson pairedtogetherbecausetheysharesimilarthemeswhileallo have a choice in what they read. ManystudentshavereadRayBradbury’sFahrenheit451and-arefamil iarwiththeimageofburningbooks.Nowitseemswedon’tneedtoturnto Whenaskedaboutobjectionstocurriculum,academicdeanKe Mykelstated,“Parentsshouldalwaysbeabletoraiseaquestio booksormoviestowitnessthisdystopianbehavior.ThroughoutAmerican book, and,withinreason,makedecisionsaboutwhetherornotth history,therehavebeencontroversiesoverbooksinschools:Harper Lee’s shouldreadacertainbook,asinaskingforanalternativeassi ToKillaMockingbird,GeorgeOrwell’s1984,andAliceWalker’sTheColor donothavetherighttomakethatdecisionforotherstudent Purplearejustafewthathavecomeunderfire.Thepastfewyears ofpoliti having abookbanned.”Thereisnothingwrongwithparentsbeingin calupheavalhasledtoaresurgenceincontroversiesoverliterary curriculum intheir andschoollibrarybooks.Italwaysseemsthatthesesituationscould only children’seducation,butthereisaclearlinetobecr thing happeninaplacefarawayandwouldneverhappenhere,butthischanged a foraparenttochallengeprescribedcurriculum;itisano themtochallengebooksavailableforstudentstoreadinthe fewweeksagowhen15milesaway,29bookswerepulledfromschoolbook ThisisexactlywhatmakesthesituationinGoddardparticula shelvesinGoddard,Kansas. Thebantookworksoclibraryshelveswherestudentscouldcho AmongthebooksstrippedfromshelveswereTheHandmaid’sTale,The themout,asopposedtobanningbooksinthecurriculum.The - super PerksofBeingaWallflower,andTheHateUGive.Mostofthebooksthat dent’s desiretoevaluateifthebookssupportedthedistric wereremovedfromcirculationtoldstoriesofmarginalizedcommunities and wasbizarre consideringthebookswerenotrequiredreading.Byr wereremovedafteraparentcitedconcernsoverlanguage- andexplicit con themfromlibraryshelves,students’freedomtoselectreading tent.TheassistantsuperintendentforGoddardacademicacairsexplained side ofclass theremovalbystating,“Atthistime,thedistrictisnotinaposition to know waseradicated.Furthermore,whileaplanwasmadet the”material, therewasnomentionofreviewingthemotivation ifthebookscontainedonthislistmeetoureducational-goalsornot. Hecit entwho citedconcernsoverthem.Perhapsifschoolsdevelopeda edplanstoassembleacommitteeofprincipalsandlibrarianstoreview the planfor bothbooksandtheirchallengers,then-inst booksbutdidnotprovidefurtherdetailsonthedurationorprocedure ofreviewing the aryobjectionscouldberesolvedinacivil,non-frenziedway. reviewprocess. What wouldhappenifabookwaschallengedatCollegiate? Am Schoolreadinglistsarenotonlydesignedtopreparestudents for stand ber Celestin,theschool’snewDirectorofCurriculum,said,“Theg ardizedexaminations;theyarealsointendedtobroadenstudents’ perspec well-roundededucationisnotthatweallagreeoneverything,b tives.GabrieleWhite,principalofWichitaCollegiateUpper - School,com studentsareequippedtogooutintoaworldcomposedofdispara mented,“Readinghasalwaysprovidedusaglimpseintoothers’experiences andengagedeeplywithideasandkindlywithotherpeople.Ifacurr whethersimilarordicerentfromourown.Thesewindowsand - thediscus everchallenged,theHeadofSchoolinconjunctionwiththeDi sionsthatariseineveryEnglishclassasbooksarereadaremeant,is besides Curriculumwouldlistentothereasonsforthechallengeandt teachingliteraryandreadingskills,todevelopsomeofthe corecharacter decision onhowwemoveforwardwhileprioritizingthebestinte isticsthatweasaschoolhopetoinstillinourstudentsasdescribed inour students. PortraitofaSpartan.Itisourhopeandgoaltoprovidelifelongskills through”

censorship in Rural Kansas

InGoddard,thebookswereputbackonshelvesandthedistrict com mentedontheirplangoingforwardto“Communicatewithfamiliesthatthey dohaveaccesstothedatabaseofbookstheirchildrenhavecheckedout, theycanreceivenotificationswhentheirchildrencheckoutabook,andthat theyhaveonlineaccesstothecatalogofbooksavailable.”Eventhoughthe booksarebackwheretheybelong,theunderlyingproblemstillexists.There isanarchaicmindsetresurfacingthatexposuretodicerentviewsisharmful iftheydonotalignwithone’sown.Thebestwaytostimulateconversation andprogressasasocietyistoexamineeveryfacetoflife.Limitingaccessto booksthatprovideknowledgeofdiceringviewpointshinderscivilization.As Mr.Mykelexplained,“Toooften,objectionstobooksaremadebecausethe textdisagreeswiththeirpoliticalorsocialviewsrather - thanonliteraryorar tisticmerit.Acivilsocietyandarepresentativesocietycannotsurviveunless thereisroomfordicerenceofopiniontobeexpressedandconsidered.” Thereareover50countriesintheworldthatrestrictcitizens’accessto literaryworks.Begratefulforthenumberofbookssittingonshelvesaround theschool,andifyoufeelcompelled,takeoneandreadit.Ifyouwanttotake adirectstandagainsttheCaptainBeattysoftheworld,trytoreadoneofthe 29booksGoddardtriedtoban.Onceyou’vereadsomething,that - storycan notbetakenfromyou,nomatterhowhotthefiregets.

A New Scientific Discovery! By Maya Torres and Rebekah Miller

Maya, I heard at the tavern last night that you have been unfaithful to your dutiful partner. After

BelowaresignificantfindingsoftheMarylandInstituteofTechnology.Carbondatingsuggests these hearing this, I flew into a rage and in the heat of the moment passionately kissed my acquaintance, and letterswerewrittenapproximately30daysago.Researchersbelievethatthese - lesbiansonly commu nicatedthroughlettersoutoffearofbeingarrestedfortreason.Notbecausetheywerelesbians but now partner, Emily. I do hope you’ll agree that it makes sense for me to have done this. It is penance becausetheyhavecommittedmanyhacksoftheUnitedStatesPentagon. for the crimes you have committed against me. After all, she is a younger woman, and I just couldn’ t Pleaseenjoytheseexamplesoftrueloveinitspurestform. see myself stuck with an old maid like you. I do hope you’ ll forgive me, for

My sweet Rebekah,

I ’ve done nothing wrong.

- Rebekah

How I mourn your absence in my home. I know you had to go nevertheless I struggle to think logically when you are away. Just yesterday I listened to your voicemail recording on repeat and drove on the wrong side of the road and got in an accident…do not worry my dear the doctors say that I should be okay but only if you return home. They say that an angel like you will bring me the strength needed to survive my procedures. Our children are on their own. I feel horrible that they are not being taken care of…I know I said our children when they are really yours but I want to be a family darling. Please write back and tell me what day to expect you back. I will hold on until then. All my love, Maya

Rebekah, I was struck by a thought this morning. It went something like the journey, not the destination is the most important thing in our relationship. I thought of this on my own. Right now, you are making the journey the literal worst. I pace the streets and alleys looking for you. You said you were going to come back. Where are you going? You are lying to me. I can tell through your letters. I know it was a funny joke in my first letter that I was in the hospital but I want you to know that while searching

My dearest Maya, I often dream of you. It has been so long since I have seen you last. I am surrounded by many beautiful maidens, but none of them compare to you, my love. I hope to see you soon, as I have been lonely, but don’ t fret! I have found companionship in a bright young maiden named Emily. Hope to see you soon. All my love, Rebekah

for you, I was mugged…I am not okay Rebekah. I cannot imagine my life without you. I am forgetting the details of your pretty face. The drugs are making me so angry with you. But you are the sun to my moon. Perhaps the journey must be hard in order for the destination to be wonderful. I know it may seem sudden but I have been thinking about this for a long time. Will you marry me, Rebekah? Will you make me the happiest person on this god-forsaken planet? We will work everything together and take care of each other and the children. We will find the children together. They should be around town somewhere. How hard can it be to find eight children? Besides I love you loads more than I

Lovely Rebekah , You are the smartest woman I have ever met. Obviously, you knew I was not in critical con-

recover of course, as I am currently waiting for my sixth nonelective surgery. The police say that I am

dition. I wish to have your mind in my mind. I yearn to learn everything about you. I can’t believe

under arrest for child endangerment. Since when has it been a crime to love with one’s entire heart!

that throughout our three days relationship I did not ask you your favorite flower. I think of you as a

Never mind that my sweet, we will figure it all out in time. I just want you to know that even when I

carnation. That’s my favorite flower and you are my favorite. You are the queen of my entire world.

am mad at you, it is only because I love you. Rebekah, please give me an answer to my proposal…

Please return to me, my love. I cannot stop loving you. Do not sentence me to death by not returning to me. My dear, I will serve you better than anyone else. You have no one but me. 78

love them…none of them have come to see me. We can run away from the law together. Well, once I

Your darling, Maya

Feeling lonely without you, Maya 79

A Continuation of

Maya, I am not sure you read my last letter. I have found a love brighter than a million suns. I am not in love with you anymore. I know this can be hard to accept but I believe it is the best for both of us. I did not even like the children that much anyways. Keep them, ditch them, I don' t really care. I want them to remind you of the flame we once had. Miss me, please. I need to know you still will love me even though

Teachers Teach ers as Birds By Aj Nagabhushan

the many affairs. On a happier note, Emily and I have moved in together and cannot be happier. This will be my last letter to you, for I have found the one and that one is most definitely not you. Get lost and never try to find me... Just know that you loved with your entire heart while I loved with barely any heart. Oh, and you most definitely stole those phrases used in your last letter. Now you are a poser and cheater.

Mr.Phillips wouldbeanAfrican

GreyParrot.Theredtailfeathersare reminiscent of his banjo tattoo. AfricanGreysarealsothebirdwiththe greatestcapabilitiesofspeaking.Mr. Phillipsknowshowtotalksothisisa fittinganalysis.

Hate you forever,

Ms.St.Clair wouldobviouslybea

crow.Crowslikeshinythings,andas an art teacher, it is one of herjobstolikeshinythings.Sheis alsoabigfanofhorrormoviesand crows are associated with death.

Bekah xoxo

Mr.GehrerwouldbeablueMacaw

becauseYuminosaidhelookslikethe birdsfromRio.Hisauraisdefinitely blueandhewouldliketoflyjustlike abird.Ha.That’sfromoneoftheRio songs.Also,blueMacawsremindme ofpumpkinspicelattegirlsandso doesMr.Gehrer.

Mr.Fischerwoulddefinitelybea

toucan.TheyareverycolorfulandT Fischisabanddirector.Theyhavethe samevibesforsure.Also,IthinkMr. Fischercouldpullocbrightorange hair or maybe shoes.

Picture by Ovi Davis

Spartan Horses

8 .For transportationofsports/activitiesteams,weexpecteachstud toridetheirownhorseandtravelinaV-formation.Seetheupdated - handb therinstruction.Parkingyourhorseatsportingeventsisatthediscr By Sabrina Wilson school. Inaworldwhereagallonofgasnowcostspeople $6, havereturnedtousinghorsesfor transportation.ThefollowingisWichitaCollegiateSchool’sstatement.9.Hit-and-Runsandsideswipingwillnowbetreatedasfelonies.

10.Ourmaintenancecrewwillsupplyhaytothehorsesthroughoutthed HelloSpartans, expenses willbechargedtoyourSAGEaccount. Asyouallknow,theseunprecedentedtimeshaveforcedustoadapt.-TheSpartan com munityalwaysfindsawaytoperseverethroughtroublingtimes.Byrespectingthe Additionally, wehavenewmerchandiseavailableintheSpartanShirtSh followingguidelines,weareconfidentwewillhaveasuccessfulschoolyeardespite our -WCSSaddles newtransportationchallenges. -WCSHorseshoes -WCSBridle 1.Inlieuofcementdividers,hitchingpostswillbeinstalledineachparkingspot -WCSReigns forfacultyandstudentstotietheirhorsesto.Pleaseuseadurableropewhenattaching yourhorsestothehitchingposts.Anydamagescausedduetofaultyropesaretobe-WCSHorseblanket paidforbythehorseowner. Ifyouhaveanyquestions,pleasedonothesitatetocontactus. 2.Ifsomeonehasaccidentallyparkedtheirhorseinyourstall,pleasedonot Sincerely, approachthehorseabouttheproblem.Tetheryourhorsetothehitchingposts outside Administration themaindoors,(whichareonlytobeusedbydeliverydrivers,sopleaseavoidmaking thisstoplong),andcomeseeadministration. 3 .Should 2horsesparkednexttoeachothernotgetalong,wewillreevaluate placement.Toavoiddisagreements,werecommendyourhorsefillout-theWCSstall matequestionnairetoseewhichhorsetheywillfarebestwith. 4 .Faculty willhaveaccesstovaletparking.PleaseponyuptothemainUpper SchoolentrancewhereMr.Tromboldwillgreetyouandparkyourhorse.NOTE:Valet parkingwilltakeaconsiderableamountoftimesinceitisaone-manoperation.Please scheduleyourarrivaltimesaccordingly. 5 recommendyoupurchaseourWCShorseinsuranceshouldunprecedented .We problemsarise.Thiswillcoveranymedicalcostspertainingtoyourhorse,oracord youtheoptiontopurchaseorrentanewone. 6 youhavehorseallergies,pleasevisittheodceforaccommodations. .If Inex tremecases,wewillapprovemulesoroxen. 7 thistime,wearenotmandatingtheCovid-19vaccinationforhorses,butwe .At willfollowCDCguidelinesandadjustexpectationsaccordingly. 82

I Hate Bach: “He was mediocre at best” By: AJ Nagabhushan

ohannSebastianBachhaslongbeenreveredasthefatherofharmony, withsomeofhismostfamousworksincludingAveMaria,TheGoldberg Variations,andFluteSonatainBMinor.Hisharmoniesarealmostalways perfectandwellcalculated,andhisrulesarethefundamentals foranyba sicmusictheoryclasstoday.Whilehisworksarebeautifullypleasingto theearsofalistener,theyalwayslacksomethingmore.Heleftnoroomfor emotioninhiswork.Ratherthanacomposer,Bachwasamathematician. Othercomposersheardthemusicbeforetheirpenwouldhitthepage,but Bachusedamechanicalstructuretoformhispieces.Hiswritingisalmost robotic;heneverdoubledthethird,theseventhalwaysresolved totheton ic,parallelfifths,thirds,andoctaveswerealwaysoutofthequestion.There wasnoartistryintheworksheproduced.Hismethodssurelyinfluenced composerslikeBeethovenandTchaikovsky,whoarearguablytwoofthe bestcomposersofalltime,butthosethatfollowedhimbroketherulesand addedpiecesofthemselvesintotheircompositions.Thesamecan’tbesaid forBach.Heusesasystemofnumberstocreatehispieces.His - composi tionslackthepersonalitythatissoimportantforapiecetoresonatewith listeners.Todelvedeeperintotheinnerworkingsofhiswriting,hewasvery machine-likeinhisintentions.Manyofhisworksfeelalmostidentical;allof themfailtoreachaclimax.Therewasalackofdynamics-swells,lulls,and surgesarehardtocomeby.Hefrequentlyusesrepeatedparallelperiods, whichcanmakehiscompositionsdroneon.ThereisnodoubtthatBachwas revolutionarytomodernmusicasawhole,andthereisevenamechanical beautytohisworks.However,helackedthepersonabilityandemotionthat sooftenswayslisteners.Itfeelsemptynomatterhowbeautifulitsounds. Bachmakesitimpossibletoresonatewithhismusic,ecectivelyleavingthe audiencecravingsomethingmore,awaytoconnect,anemotiontheycan latchonto.JohannSebastianBachwasanamazinglylacklustercomposer whopavedthewayforgreatnessbeyondhimself. 84

The

DecK

WITCH Written by Sabrina Wilson

Tightly based on the life of Ms. London

They had been regaling for hours at the humble abode of the Londons. The noon feast had led to afternoon conversation, which so far had proved to be tedious and uneventful. Ms. London sat, poring over the news of the banning of books from several school libraries. This was the utmost of her concerns, and she was eager to share with the group. Unfortunately, they had much bigger problems at stake. “Our new deck is terribly uneven.” Noticing her mother’s glare becoming sharper by the minute, Ms. London leaned in to look at the picture her brother held in his hands. The photo showed a deck that was uneven, with a slight downward slope, but she could provide minimal sympathy. “How nice it would be to have a deck, even if it is uneven. I just want a place of my own, filled with books and free of censorship,” Ms. London thought to herself. She began to imagine this utopic place as her brother droned on about his deck building woes. Her daydream slipped away from her as her phone dinged with a new notification. “Really, honey, you must silence that. Can’t you see your brother is in distress?” Her mother asked. Ms. London unlocked her phone, intending to silence it so she could try to contribute to the deck conversation, when she read the notification: GODDARD SCHOOL DISTRICT ORDERS 29 BOOKS REMOVED FROM CIRCULATION

“You don’t choose to be a Deck Witch. The Deck Witch life chooses you.” 86

Her blood boiled. Her temperature rose. Her heartrate increased. The walls began closing in around her, making it impossible to breathe. She tried to process the information. Goddard was barely 15 miles away. The madness that had been entirely external to her was suddenly in her backyard. It swept its way from Kansas City to Goddard, and soon it would be in Wichita. But she saw it coming, which meant she could fight it. Realizing that she was a teacher, she could stop it, and she bore the burden to do so. Her mind kept wandering until she realized everyone was looking at her. Clearly, she had missed part of the conversation, and now the crowd expected a meaningful comment. “Umm…….deck,” were the only words she could come up with. “You want a house with a deck? I don’t advise it. It’s a nightmare to get them flattened out,” her brother commented. There was no time for house shopping. The downfall of society was fast approaching, and she was on a mission to stop it. 87

“I meant…..I’m building a deck too,” Ms. London said. “For who?” Her mother asked. “For me. And I’m building it now. Good-bye!” Ms. London ran to her room and threw a few essentials into a suitcase. She was about to head out when she realized she had not brought the most vital resource with her: books. Her bag was nearly full. There was only room for one book. She scanned the shelves that lined her room. Should she bring something poetic? Something political? Something simple and fun? The choice seemed impossible until she landed on the only sensible option: Wistrix Donn: The Mystery and the Miracle. She pulled the book from the shelf and was shocked as a small crystal fell out from between its pages. “How ironic!” she thought, thinking of the central focus of the book. She figured the crystal was something she had brought home a long time ago as a souvenir. She bent down to pick it up. As soon as her fingertips touched it, she felt her body go into shock. It felt as though lightning was coursing through her veins. Something was being unleashed that she had no control over. The next thing Ms. London knew, she woke up on the ground. Her packed bag laid beside her head, still unzipped. She cautiously stood up, prepared to collapse again, and was shocked to find that she felt stronger than she ever had. She tried to remember what had happened. She was leaving to…. why was she leaving? And what had prompted her to pass out? Based on the minimal amount of sunlight speckled on the wall, she knew a great deal of time had passed. Suddenly her mother walked in the room. “Good, you’re awake. You’ve been napping for a while.” “Mom, why would I be napping on the floor?” Ms. London asked, confused why her mother hadn’t suspected she was ill. “I don’t know. You’ve always ventured off the beaten path. After all, you were just talking of building a deck and—” “My deck!” Ms. London exclaimed. She grabbed her bag and zipped it shut. “I’ve got to get out there before sundown!” She sprinted past her mother and hurried to the front door. “You aren’t seriously building a deck, are you? Where are you going?” Her mother called, but Ms. London was already gone. She wasn’t sure where she was going, but she was racing nightfall and the censorship goons, which both approached with equal vigor. She journeyed westward until she came upon a spacious plot of land. She broke the soil and knew this was her new home. Stars were beginning to appear in the sky, but Ms. London’s desire to build her deck shone brighter. The fire that had consumed Goddard could already be in 88

Haysville by now. She needed to have a fortress set up so she could launch a counterattack. First, she needed to acquire some sturdy lumber. She fetched a ride to a nearby store and marched through the warehouse that was filled with building supplies until she found an area dense with wood. She called to a worker wearing a robe covered in wood chips and began making her demands: “I am in search of the finest lumber on the face of this Earth. I am going to build myself a fortress that will be a bastion of anticensorship, for there is no foundation without fiction. No society without soliloquys. No civilization without Cicero. There is no life without literature! Give me freedom of the books or give me death!” “Ma’am, this is a Home Depot, and we close in twenty minutes, so make it snappy.” With a generous payment of money, plus a few dollars slipped under the table for express delivery, Ms. London convinced the employees to work overtime and deliver the wood to her newly purchased plot of land. She wanted to waste no time getting started, and then she realized that she had no tools. Her deck dream was dying. All her emotions pooled to the surface, and she kicked a piece of wood out of sheer anger. Her anger morphed into amazement when she realized her kick had snapped the wood cleanly in half. Thinking this had been the result of a freak accident, she kicked another piece, and it yielded the same result. The beam looked like it had been cleanly sliced by a saw. She kicked another beam with less force, and she kept repeating the process until she was barely touching the wood. Each time, regardless of the pressure she put on it, the wood cleanly split into two pieces. Could she be dreaming? Had her anger and motivation resulted in delusion? What had changed that made this possible? The questions bounced around in her head, exhausting her. Desperate to escape her thoughts, she went to her bag and pulled out the book she had brought along with her. As soon as she opened the cover, it hit her. Her memories prior to collapsing returned. Somehow, the crystal that had fallen out of the book was the actual Wistrix Donn. By chance, it had found her worthy of harnessing its power. Ms. London noticed the palms of her hands. Both were tinted purple, matching the shade of the crystal that is described in the book. The power was inside her. She had all she needed to build her deck, meaning she had all she needed to defend the world’s literature. With the moon shining down on her like a spotlight, she worked tirelessly. She kicked the wood into pieces. She bent and snapped it. She connected beams together with her new power. By the time the sun rose the following morning, her deck was… “A disaster. This is an utter disaster,” Ms. London groaned. Despite her new crafting abilities, the deck lacked in strength. It had proved to 89

be a challenging puzzle to fit together, and as much as she hated admitting her brother was right, it was very annoying to have an uneven deck. She tried to pinpoint exactly what was missing. All the pieces were there, and they were cut to perfection. The problem was the ground it was built upon. Nothing could change the fact that it was uneven. Anything that stands on a weak foundation is bound to collapse. Ms. London tried to use her power to level the ground, but it seemed it came with its limits. She could not alter what naturally existed in the world. What could serve as a foundation for her deck? She could purchase more wood, but it would be difficult to account for variations in the ground level while magically cutting pieces. Cement was also an option, but the cost would be hefty. Nothing seemed feasible. Perhaps the Home Depot workers would have suggestions. That’s when she remembered what she had told the employee before she bought the wood. “There is no foundation without fiction.” Fiction. Literature. “Books are the backbone of society! That’s what I’m here fighting for!” Ms. London exclaimed with glee. The foundation of her deck should be synonymous with the foundation of society: books. Now came the dilemma of finding enough books to hold up a deck. She could raid a nearby Barnes & Noble, but she didn’t want to create conflict to resolve conflict. Going home to her bookshelves wasn’t an option either. As soon as she walked in the door, her parents would insist she come home. The only way to get books here would be to ask them to come. And why would the books say no to someone who has the power of the Wistrix Donn? Ms. London planted her feet firmly on the uneven ground and looked to the sky. Harry Potter had trained her for this. She held out her arms, shut her eyes, and began willing every book in the universe to come to her. For a moment, the world dissolved into silence. Then, in the blink of an eye, Ms. London was enveloped in a deafening whirlwind. She kept willing the books to come to her. “I will protect you,” she whispered. “I will be your keeper. Your defender.” The whirlwind continued, and slowly the books came gusting in, much like emotions do in The Great Gatsby. People driving by pulled over and watched in awe. The books swirled around her, and then began arranging themselves amidst the wood. In seconds, a perfectly even deck had been constructed. It was larger than Ms. London had ever intended it to be. The remaining books landed on shelves that had materialized around the edge of the deck. As everything fell into place, the whirlwind stopped 90

until Ms. London was standing by herself, arms still stretched to the sky. She slowly relaxed and looked at her deck. It was perfect in every way. She was fully prepared to celebrate until she noticed the crowd gaping at her. “Who are you?” someone from the crowd asked. She looked out at the sea of onlookers and then at her deck. She walked up the perfectly crafted stairs and stood at the top of her literary liberty fortress. She smiled at the people who seemed to revere her and said: “I’m the Deck Witch.”

Photos by Maya Rai

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