+
EDITOR'S NOTE This issue we celebrate "Black Love" for the month of BHM. Black love is a subject that isn't talked about within households , shown, or expressed as it should be. So we decided to showcase it. We enjoyed reading everyone's love stories in this issue and hope everyone will enjoy it as well. Thank you to everyone who volunteered their time to share their story and allowed us to share your special moments with the world.
Blaine & Mashonda Way Editors in Chief
FOLLOW: @waytoparentmagazine
FOLLOW: @waytoparentmagazine
WAYTOPARENT MAGAZINE
Table Of Contents
17 7. Relationships 8. The Jacksons 13. Communication 14. Brandy & Marcus
22. Relationships 23. The Fergusons 25. Relationships 27. Barak & Regina
31. Gwen & Drew 33. The Jacobs 36. The McDaniels
“True love stories never have endings.”
Celebrating Black Love
KEEPING THE SPARK ALIVE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP Chances are you’ve heard at least one of these statements, or a variation on the theme, from someone you know. One of the most common myths about longterm relationships is that passion is only for the beginning of a relationship and that it’s nearly impossible to know how to keep a relationship alive long-term. What’s “the spark”? It’s that feeling of butterflies in your stomach, the electricity that passes through you when you touch the one you love, that deep down excitement. Some believe it’s inevitable that this feeling will dim and eventually disappear. This is a myth. While it’s normal to lose the spark in a relationship when you get comfortable, you can always get it back. And there are steps you can take now to avoid losing the spark at all. Whether you are in a new relationship and want to learn how to keep the spark alive or you’ve been with your partner for a while and want to learn how to bring the spark back in a relationship.
Celebrating Black Love
6
Celebrating Black Love
9
Newlyweds
Chelsea & Jesse Jackson lets us in on their black love. Who said facebook can’t help you find love? This wasn’t the case with Chelsea when she slid into Jesse inbox (or as well call it DMs). Chelsea and Jesse met through facebook dating and immediately hit it off. Their relationship bloomed with baecations trips and 11 months of romance before Jesse asked Chelsea to marry him in front of her family. Chelsea and Jesse Jackson have now been married for one month and they gave us to some insight of their newly found marriage in this issue of celebrating “Black Love”. .
Celebrating Black Love
Was it love at first sight? How many dates did it take to fall for each other? As I mentioned, we met on Facebook Dating. We hit it off immediately and our relationship quickly took off. Before he asked me to be his girlfriend, we already had a baecation planned! On that baecation in Savannah, GA while sitting in the car listening to our song “Point Of All” by Anthony Hamilton, I told him I loved him! He looked so surprised but also so happy! So happy that after he said it back, he got out the car and screamed “SHE LOVES ME!”. It was the cutest thing! We quickly started planning more trips and creating so many memories together. He asked me to marry him about 10-11 months later in front of my family. Then 6 months later we got married! . .
How do you keep the fire alive in your relationship? We keep the fire alive by laughing. We laugh so much and we’re always playing games. We’re quick to have a game night with each other and usually we’re just laughing and talking mess the whole time! We also are newlyweds so we have no problem keeping the fire alive right now 😉
What is your most memorable moment with your partner? How do you handle disagreements? The most memorable moment I have with Jesse has to be our engagement. It was my birthday weekend and fourth of July weekend. Jesse had planned so much that as I was finding out along the way. One of those thing was a photo shoot and I started to get suspicious. My family was also cracking at this point and little secrets were slipping out.
Of course, I thought it was going to happen during the photoshoot and when it didn’t, I felt like such an idiot!!! We talked about it then because he could tell something was wrong with me. He played it off so well! He says there’s another surprise, blindfolds me, and the next thing I know I’m in front of my family and his and he’s proposing! I was completely shocked. As far as disagreements, we are still navigating the best way that works for the both of us. But generally, we don’t go more than a day without hashing out whatever the disagreement is. Is understanding your partner's love language important? Absolutely! We both have read the love language book and are well aware of each other’s love language. It helps me to understand why he does certain things and also how to love him.
What does Black Love mean to you? Black love is everything. Black love is real, it’s beautiful, and so powerful. I was adamant that I wanted a black man as my husband. We want to promote black love and the POSITIVITY of black love. We don’t see black love enough and we both want to represent that to the fullest
You can keep up with the Jackson Love story by following the below
@itzchellz
11
BLACK LUV
APPARELL
Black Luv represents that our LUV, our culture, our unity, & our vibes cannot be boxed. We will always LUV big and outside of the box. Our LUV has no boundaries. Our LUV is bold & strong, and comes in many different forms. Black LUV is a statement that we were once denied of & we are changing the narrative.
CLOTHING • APPARELL • STYLE WWW.SHOPBLACKLUV.COM BLACK_LUV_APPAREL
Communication: The Glue of Relationships If there’s a special someone or a significant other in your life, you know how vital communication is to your relationship. Communication is essential to develop and maintain any relationship, and without it, things in the relationship could be forgotten about or mixed up. Unfortunately, while we all crave communication from our partners, we might not know how to communicate effectively. For example, asking your partner how their day was is ok, but you will have to dig a little more to ensure that you have a healthy and happy, or even extraordinary relationship. Since not all of us know how to communicate effectively, we have to learn how to do it continuously, which requires work. Establishing open, honest, and effective communication in relationships is vital for various reasons. Let’s learn why. To Get Deeper Than The Surface Level It’s ok to have some small talk with your partner, but sometimes, it can only be entertaining and nothing more. As a result, a surface-level relationship with your partner isn’t satisfying at all. Using effective methods of communication is an excellent way of delving into your partner’s life and learning who they are. You get to understand why they are the way they are. Ultimately, you improve your relationship, and you and your partner can explore new sides of each other that you wouldn’t otherwise know. How to do it: Embrace vulnerability. Be vulnerable with your partner and share the good and the bad. When you’re vulnerable, they can support you and open up to you. Ultimately, trust in the relationship is built.
Better Conflict Resolution There are couples who never fight and those that always fight. All relationships have unique ups and downs. However, not ever fighting and fighting all the time are signs that there’s no communication in the relationship. Rather than disagreeing with your partner, you can improve your conflict resolution skills so that when there are disagreements, you can use them to strengthen your relationship rather than break it. How to do it: Understand your partner’s preferred method of communication. This includes non-verbal communication, emailing, verbal speaking, video calling, and texting. It Sets Clear Expectations It’s essential to set out expectations early in the relationship. This helps to avoid upsetting one party without realizing it. Partners need to be honest and open with each other while standing by their values. Once you set expectations in the relationship by talking about your needs with your partner, you will enjoy a happy, healthy, satisfying relationship. How to do it: Discover the six human needs. These include certainty, variety, significance, connection and love, growth, and contribution. Once you discover these needs, you will better understand what your partner expects from you. Conclusion From the points we’ve discussed above, communication in relationships is all about understanding and fulfilling your partner’s needs. When you put this into action, they will be more open to having a deeper connection and working with you to create the relationship you deserve and desire.
Share your love story with us? Was it love at first sight? How many dates did it take to fall for each other? It was love at first sight for me. I instantly felt a change in my spirit and body, some may call it butterflies when I saw him. The funny part is he was with a woman, so I immediately turned off whatever that was I felt. I had no idea, we would be engaged 2 years later. So after our meet in Mexico, a few months went by. Marcus then reached out to me on Facebook. We connected and had our first phones conversation. Well after that conversation I learned that Marcus was freshly divorced and still in a healing process, one I refused to engage in, because I needed a man that was whole and healed, so he continued to go on with life as did I. The pandemic hit, so we had no contact all of 2020. At the beginning of 2021 (February) we made contact. I was headed to South Africa to celebrate my birthday in April and needed a travel partner. Marcus came along and our 10 day trip, we instantly fell in love with each other and was inseparable. Marcus proposed 6 months later. . How do you keep the fire alive in your relationship? We continue to date one another. Always celebrating our anniversary monthly. We make sure to celebrate our love on that day every month. We also take pride in showing love daily. Always affectionate and always surprising one another with something, even if it's small. Love is shown.
.W hat is your most memorable moment with your partner? How do you handle disagreements? The most memorable moment with Marcus will always be going to the motherland together. We had so many life changing experiences while there. We fed a entire orphanage and bought hygiene supply for about 30 children. We handle disagreements immediately. We don't allow them time to bloom. We talk everything out. No yelling, and make it a point to love on one another afterwards. .C elebrating
Black Love
13
TRUE BLACK LOVE IS POWERFUL,POWERFUL IN INFLUENCE, POWERFUL IN FAMILY, POWERFUL IN HOPE. IT IS THE CORE OF US AND WHEN YOUR CORE IS STRONG, NOTHING FAILS.
C E L E B R A T I N G
B L A C K
L O V E
NOW & FOREVER LOVE STORY
Cover Story 16
How it all began....
We initially developed a friendship over common business interests. I was a selfcare life coach for women, had selfpublished a couple of books, and was doing a lot of public speaking and he was thinking about launching into each of those spaces, himself, and wanted to know more about it and my experience with it. I shared and we kept in touch from time-totime and would always stop to speak, in passing, on our way in and out of church. But that was about it. Over time, we started having full blown conversations in the DM’s and after so much of that, I just gave him my number and told him to call if he wanted to talk instead of type… He didn’t. Nope. He didn’t call until the day I was supporting him at one of his speaking engagements. Something about that day shifted things for him. He says it’s because he realized I truly supported and cared for him, with not motive or strings attached. He was still healing and after two divorces, he was more than cautious when it came to women coming into his space. We had reached a turning point. Our friendship continued to grow. It wasn’t until a trip to the Farmer’s Market months later that I realized that we could be more than friends. This trip was special, it took our bond to a different level. We hadn’t made anything official but anyone could tell we were falling for each other. After spending Thanksgiving with my mom and me (because he couldn’t get back home to Birmingham), I could not take it anymore
.
Celebrating Black Love
Cover Story
I had to address the big ol’ elephant in the room and ask him what I was feeling. I told him that he always referred to me as his friend but that sometimes I felt like something that felt like a “more than friends” vibe and I just wanted to be clear in my understanding and that I didn’t want to jeopardize our friendship, so I needed to get some clarification. And that was it. That was the moment the floodgates flew open and the rest was all she wrote. He shared that he didn’t have feelings for me that were “more than a friend” and that in fact he loved me and had loved me for some time and was trying to suppress those feelings because he was done with love. He not only didn’t want to allow those feelings in, but he valued our friendship so much, he didn’t want to risk losing it by making it anymore than it was if it didn’t work out.
.
waytoparent magazine
I understood that, 100%. And I knew that after two divorces, he had also decided he would just be single for the rest of his life. So, I knew this had to be hard for him. But once it was out in the open, he made it clear that he didn’t need anymore time to figure anything out, that after all the time we had spent that he wanted to be in a committed relationship. I told him that I loved him too and said yes to being his woman. On July 17, 2021, he whisked me away on a day of surprises he had planned for me… The first was a trip to the Biltmore Estates, which is where he proposed to me and had photographers planted and hiding to capture it all!! I said ‘YES’ and we got married on October 7, 2021. The rest of this love story is being written…
.
19
HOW CAN YOU TELL WHEN A RELATIONSHIP LOSES ITS SPARK? When you’re with someone for many years, your relationship will naturally go through phases. You’ll encounter relationship stressors like financial problems and family obligations that will shift your focus elsewhere – but you’ll know when you’ve lost the spark in a relationship by these signs. There’s no physical touch: Intimacy is the difference between a friend and a partner, and it doesn’t always mean sex. Holding hands, cuddling, warm hugs, and giving compliments are all a part of intimacy, and the spark in a relationship depends on them. You don’t “date” anymore: Life gets busy for every couple, yet making time to go out and have fun together must be a priority. If you’ve stopped celebrating anniversaries and birthdays or having date nights, it’s time to rekindle the spark. You’ve stopped making an effort: Physical appearances change – you’re bound to get older or even gain a little weight over the long term. But if you aren’t even interested in looking good and feeling healthy for your partner, that’s a sign of trouble. You’re less interested in spending time together: When a relationship loses its spark, you may spend more time with your friends than your partner. You may even find that you’re very easily annoyed by them, causing you to punish your partner or avoid each other altogether.
21
Share your love story with us? Was it love at first sight? How many dates did it take to fall for each other?
Jason inboxed me on Facebook to ask me more about my life as the mom of a special needs child. He saw my posts on Facebook about our life and wanted to connect. We talked on the phone and really connected. He said that he felt like he can do anything after that phone call. We talked on the phone long distance for several months and met for a first day in New York City, where we knew we wanted to be in a relationship. I moved to Chicago from New Haven and 6 months later Jason proposed to me under the stars at the Northwestern University Observatory. What is your most memorable moment with your . partner? How do you handle disagreements? I love how my husband showed up during the birth of our children. My favorite memory is seeing and hearing him sing to our daughters. We communicate and take time outs when needed. We have learned different methods and healthy ways to communicate during and after our disagreements.
How do you keep the fire alive in your relationship? . We work hard on our communication, and we bring it back to the friendship we felt for each other at the beginning. We have a strong faith in God, and we rely on Him for strength. We also flirt with each other often and stay connected even during the challenging times.
What does Black Love mean to you? . Black Love means Faith, Family, and Love. It is a combination of what our ancestors had even when they did not have much access to the rest of the world. Black Love gives you the ability to accomplish all of your goals.
.To learn more about the ferguson family make sure
to visit : https://www.fergusoninspired.com/ .
@fergusoninspired .
@ferginspired Celebrating Black Love
23
FOLLOW: @waytoparentmagazine
Learning how to keep the spark alive is possible. It takes more than just scheduling a date or two to make real, lasting changes in a relationship. When both you and your partner are committed to reigniting the spark in a relationship, you’ll find that anything is possible. CREATE You have to create what you want, not just hope it will happen or rely on your partner to put in the work. To be a good partner you need to be emotionally fit and shift from wanting something to doing something. Think back to the start of your relationship: you were willing to do whatever it takes to make that person happy. What are you willing to do now? You can’t just expect something to change without your input.
TALK WITH YOUR PARTNER When was the last time you talked with your partner? To keep the spark alive, communication is a must. Talking doesn’t just mean chatting for a few minutes before falling asleep. It means making plans about your future, understanding your partner’s love language, and finding out what’s on the other’s mind. It means sharing a real, emotional connection with your loved one and seeing things from their point of view. Research shows you need to have five times as many positive communications as negative ones to have a good relationship, particularly if you want an intimate one. It’s easy to see the negative impact of people feeling shut down and shut out of their intimate partner’s sphere. If you’re wondering how to bring the spark back in a relationship, you must make good communication a top priority. GROW What we’re attracted to in others is oftentimes another part of ourselves that we’re not activating. Then, we get resentful because those qualities are being shut down and stifled in the other person as communication deteriorates, which comes through as frustration with the relationship. Relationships can grow stale when routine and habit set in – and growth is the key to how to keep a relationship alive. Vow to learn something new together, take a vacation to somewhere neither of you has ever been, or find an activity you can experience together. To grow together instead of growing apart, you have to be willing to stretch yourselves both individually and as a couple.
PLAN SURPRISES It sounds counterintuitive, but planning for spontaneity can make a huge difference for partners – especially when it comes to how to keep the spark alive. Planning a surprise date is a great way to break out of your rut and show your partner you’re thinking of them. Block off time on your partner’s calendar but don’t say what you’ll be doing. Then spend quality time doing something you both enjoy, whether that’s going for a beverage or dinner, seeing a show, taking a walk, going on a weekend getaway, or even something like getting popcorn and drinks for a fun movie night at home. Your partner will see that you care enough to make time for them and you’ll remember the reasons that you got into this relationship in the first place. STOP LIVING OLD STORIES When a relationship loses its spark due to an event like infidelity, or when trust has been lost for another reason, each partner will need to choose to consciously move forward. This means truly forgiving them and letting go of whatever old disappointments you’re clinging to. This moment is the only thing that’s real and embracing forgiveness for all those who have wronged you in the past – especially your partner – is the only way to truly step into our present. Don’t filter your partner through a past story. That’s old news and it’s over. Instead, think about what will make that person feel loved and seen at this moment. When you release the past, you can love your partner for who they are and discover how to keep a relationship alive in a new context. GIVE “The secret to living is giving,” and this certainly applies to relationships. Giving shows that you’re making your partner a priority and is a vital key to keeping the spark alive. Remember, if you contribute nothing, you get nothing. If you get nothing, you likely feel insignificant and unloved. Instead, think about what you can give to your partner to make them feel filled and seen, and understand that they are your top priority. Go farther than your partner expects and you’ll be each other’s own fan. Create surprises and opportunities for connection, not roadblocks. When you recreate how you acted at the beginning of your relationship, you can easily learn how to keep a relationship alive and ensure it’s one of the most fulfilling parts of your life.
Celebrating Black Love
25
CLOTHING • APPARELL • STYLE WWW.SHOPBLACKLUV.COM BLACK_LUV_APPAREL
BARAK & REGINA AMEN Share your love story with us? Was it love at first sight? How many dates did it take to fall for each other? A lot of people say they don't believe in love at 1st sight. But I say it doesn't take all day to recognize sunshine. When I 1st saw her I imagined how would she get along with my family. We used to pass love notes at work and still to this day write love notes and leave them for each other to find. I made it a point to actually TALK during our talking stage of the relationship so it only took 2 or 3 dates for us to fall head over heels for one another.
.
How do you keep the fire alive in your relationship? We still look forward to getting dressed up for weekly date nights. We still write each other lil love notes. I still buy her weekly flowers. I still pursue her the same way I did when we were dating. We say I love you often throughout the day.
What is your most memorable moment with your .partner? How do you handle disagreements? Consider your partner as a teammate and not an opponent. Work to be the best team you to can be. Don't involve outside people into the problems of your relationship. They don't have to live with you or the decisions you make. Communication and trust is key to a healthy strong relationship. Communicate with the purpose of problem solving.
Celebrating Black Love
27 .
BLACK LOVE IS TOO POWERFUL TO BE DESCRIBED BY WORDS BECAUSE IT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU DO, IT'S SOMETHING THAT IS. IT IS AN ADJECTIVE, ADVERB, AND NOUN. BLACK LOVE IS THE DNA AND ROAD MAP TO OUR MELANATED GREATNESS FUTURE, PAST AND PRESENT. - BARAK AMEN
Gwen & Drew
28
Yrs Later Later
Share your love story with us? Was it love at first sight? How many dates did it take to fall for each other? We were inseparable after meeting that first day. We began having date-nights every night.
How do you keep the fire alive in your relationship? We keep God first.
What relationship advice do you have for our . audience? . Laugh, have fun & enjoy the moments because time passes sooooo very fast. Find a “happy place” in your life & stay there. Laughter is great for the soul.
Celebrating Black Love
30
FOLLOW: @waytoparentmagazine
Share your love story with us? Was it love at first sight? How many dates did it take to fall for each other?
What is your most memorable moment with your partner? How do you handle disagreements?
Well first it took forever for Jaquan to throw his first shot. We were facebook friends for a while and he would like every single picture i posted so one day I decided to message him. We lived in different states due to him being in the military but he would come to NC multiple weekends and take me on dates. We were extremely attracted to each other from the very beginning.
Mexico dinner on the beach and this was also the same trip that got us pregnant after 4 years of trying. We handle disagreements by communicating what the issue is and try to see eye to eye on the problem
What does Black Love mean to you? An intimate and special bond between .two people that can’t be broken no matter what the statistics are
Celebrating Black Love
What is your most memorable moment with your partner? How do you handle disagreements?
.We make sure to date every chance we
get. Whether its with our son or just us but we appreciate our date nights
32
CLOTHING • APPARELL • STYLE WWW.SHOPBLACKLUV.COM BLACK_LUV_APPAREL
Share your love story with us? Was it love at first sight? How many dates did it take to fall for each other? We knew each other for 9 months before we started officially dating, but 5 months into knowing each other, when we started spending time together outside of basketball, we were going to the movies, dinner, mini golf, doing all of the “date” things until eventually things started to change and we made it “official”
What does Black Love mean to you?
What is your most memorable moment with your partner? How do you handle disagreements? Our most memorable moment is definitely the first “date”. We did so many things that could he considered dates, but one day in particular felt “different”. We went to play mini golf and to the movies to see Pete’s Dragon, and it was the first time it felt like a “date” and not just hanging out with my friend. We handle disagreements by calling time outs. We don’t tackle issues while we’re both upset. We give each other time to be upset, and tackle the issue when we’re both ready
. Love is something that everyone experiences, but Black love adds a deeper layer. There is no other love I ever planned on experiencing. Black love is connectedness. We understand each other. Truly. understand. Loving each other to no end. We got married on Black Love day instead of Valentine’s Day.
Celebrating Black Love .
34
FOLLOW: @waytoparentmagazine
