Issue 3

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EVENT REVIEW JAMES THOMAS

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DENOUNCE ARE SAYING THEIR FINAL FAREWELL

10 fOX BODY MODS: INTERVIEW 13

ALT GUY: ADAM BUNYAN

14 PAPIWANG RANTS: MAGAZINES 15 PREDICTING THE FALL: INTERVIEW AND REVIEW

20 KEEP YOURSELF BUSY WITH OUR EVENTS PAGE

Events Co-ordinator Zoe Blush Website Sam Detnon

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CONTENTS

Contact us writeinto@wastedmagazine.co.uk

[W! #3] Hey guys, Glad you’ve come back to us. It’s a slow start and we’re still making mistakes, but we’re learning along the way and that’s what is most important.

A few of you may have noticed that our website has been down for a little while now, it’s all working again thanks to our lovely web tech, Sam. So have a mosey at the website www.wastedmagazine.co.uk But anyway!

This month you can find the final interview with DENOUNCE. After just over six long years, the boys are calling it a day. Head over to page 7 to read what they said when Chaz went and caught up with them.

Hope you enjoy the third issue, don’t be a stranger, get involved in everything you can, we love hearing from you guys and seeing what you’ve been up to.

Lots of love, Zoe Blush xo

celebration. The last show at this venue was the best attended and the most chaotic, but I see each one as an equally positive experience....

Broadstairs Folk Week. After a few days and nights attending this local merriment I thought of nothing better than a change in atmosphere and musical genre. Over to Margate I went, with a friend, after having a few beers I was in the mood for a

Tucked away in a crevice of Margate’s Northdown Road is the resurrected spirit of local DIY hardcore. Its day job is a practise space and studio for local bands, but every so often (thankfully with increasing frequency) the small place becomes a venue for a select few who are lucky enough to know about it. The call goes up via word of mouth and Facebook invitations, and is answered by a dedicated and enthusiastic following. The atmosphere is that of a bunch of mates getting together to share in a common passion, where the drink flows freely along with the banter, as bands chat to the audience between songs with no division between them.

After a long stale period for local hardcore as well as some amount of posturing and divides in the scene this is as much a small revolution as it is a

promising night of hardcore. Greeted by many a friendly and familiar face things started in a subdued vein with solo guitarist/vocalist Whipping Boy Emitt. A beautifully melancholic set, offset with good humoured comments between songs got the show off to a good start. But that would be the end

of any soothing and quiet sounds. Human Junk tore through their raw and minimal grindcore set as abrasively as ever, an early cock up only serving to get an immediate repeat performance of the opening track. Even at this stage there was energy in the crowd, an optimistic buzz descended on the cramped and very warm room.

With the job well and truly done Human Junk finished in style to make way for one of my favourite

semi-local bands at the moment – Manhands.

Members of Lakes/Kid Pang and November Coming Fire, this is a veteran line up with a professional attitude to tearing the place apart.

With two guitars and no bass they still manage to sound heavy, but with emphasis on discordance rather than lower end. Power violence in the San Diego style, with a bit of south eastern English swagger thrown in. By this time we were bouncing off the walls and anyone who didn’t want to be in

harms way clung to the perimeters and prayed.

After the seething mist of Manhands’ brand of craziness our American headliners had their work cut out to match up. Everyone was convinced this would not be an issue and the claustrophobic frenzy reached fever-pitch as Bloody Phoenix readied themselves. This is a band born out of the grindcore monsters Excruciating Terror, and offer a similar kind of mayhem. As self-assured as you would expect, BP ripped through an incendiary barrage of grim grind, stirring the airless bunker into lunacy. It was during their set I was launched mercilessly into the drum kit and broke a small selection of ribs against the metal. At this point I was forced to watch from as save a distance as possible as the crowd degenerated into beer sloshing mounds of shoving sweat.

As always the show ended with post euphoric and rather drunken conversation between audience and bands alike. Everyone present piling outside as though they’d been running a gruelling alcoholic marathon. With mutual pats on the back the night drew to close with hopes of the next one being even better – a hope I for one have total faith in. (JT)

Words by Chaz Barnes

Fox starts with size 11 needles, working on the outline of the rose. He tells us details about needle sizes, and certain equipment used. Making a point to recognise that there has been a rise in the numbers of people allergic to latex, he puts on his SPECIAL gloves and gets cracking. Taking a break and sipping his Chai tea, we asked Fox a few more in depth questions: What was the first tattoo you did? Like on someone else? The first tattoo I ever did was on myself, but... on someone else I’m trying to think. [Pause] Tom! Tom! Tom, over here. Come over here, I wanna see you. I wanna see your, left or right leg.That’s it, that’s the one, first tattoo I ever did.

What is it...?

Kanji, stands for love or lust, Tom: Youth! Youth it stands for.

Fox: Sure it ain’t lust?

Tom: Was supposed to be lust, turns out its Youth. [Laughter] Fox: I’m sure it doesn’t, sure it says on the sheet lust, but apparently it means youth?

I think you’ve got mandarin or something.

If you want a tattoo that means exactly what it means don’t get kanji or symbols!

Don’t be a dimlow, get the actual word.

They’re easy to do, but they’re just a pain in the neck.

What made you first want to get into tattooing and body piercing?

Body piercing, I was already doing it, I used to do all my mates ears and that at school and stuff like that, the first bit of equipment I bought was an ear piercing gun, so cos it was so easy to get hold of that kind of stuff back then, and erm, I just started doing it, and I just wanted to do more.

So I started buying in loads of bits and pieces and started doing loads of different stuff, studied it, all over the internet, aaah mate, I was studying for cosmetic surgery years and years ago, cos I wanted to be a cosmetic surgeon basically do sort of face lifts and proper sort of cuttings and skin sort of work. So I learnt well, all the vital nervous system runs and were it all is and everything from there. I never had the grades to get into medical school, so I back tracked a bit by doing all this sort of alternative stuff, and body piercing and just loved it straight of, didn’t freeze up on it at all, knew exactly what I was doing from the

word go, and ever since I’ve just loved it. Love doing it, it’s just passion really, if you’re passionate about anything you’ll get there, you’ll do it. and every time someone said you know, it’s too hard to train you know, it’s too hard to get into don’t bother with all that lot, it just made me think, well fuck you, I want to do it, I don’t care if you’re testing me, I’m gonna do it, whether you like it or not, and you’re gonna get it anyone who wants to start at it, they’re gonna get it, you’re gonna get so many people saying ‘don’t bother’. But fight past it.

That’s what I’m gonna say, don’t cuz you go to most, what is it? About 90% of tattoo shops will turn around and say don’t bother and they’ll just try and put you off starting. Whereas erm, you’ve got like, the very small percentage of shops will turn around and say “ok, well, you know...” and actually talk to you nicely about it, but none of them will turn around and go “oh lets teach you, let’s do it” without some sort of profit, so most tattooists now if they are gonna teach anyone they charge about £5000, and that’s not with anything, that’s just for you to come in and watch them. [Laughs] body piercers charge in the region of about £1500 and I’m one of the only body modifiers in this entire area so... I wouldn’t know what to charge them to teach them to do body piercing, and the work is so specialised.

It’s not, you know, unless you’re well known as a body modifier half the stuff you require to do the work you can’t get.

I mean scalpels and things like that, they don’t fall off trees, you’ve got to sort of, you’ve got to be well known enough to go to an actual medical site, and request this stuff and not “where’s all your such and such, this and that, blah blah blah” because a body piercer can’t get all this stuff, and a tattooist can’t get that stuff, but only medical personnel can, and body modifiers, but there’s nothing to say you’re a body modifier, without sort of you know, so you have to get such a point of a reputation where people say “fox....” and they go “oh yeh, he’s a body modifier” and they go “ah ok, yeh we’ll start selling”, where as erm, where as john smith, who the hell’s he?

You know? They’re very selective over sales and I have been questioned quite rightly by people who know what I do. In sort of the medical industry people do question some of the reasons why I need some of the things I require, for instance stuff like lindocain which is a sort of local anaesthetic, it’s an injected local anaesthetic, they go “oh, well why do you need that? Aren’t all your clients like all bloody crazy, and can deal with all the pain and stuff?” and well, no. [Laughs] yeh

you basically have like a labret stud but a little bit longer and a little bit wider and a lot of them glue them in places where it sits and imbeds itself in the skin an you screw the bits on top, they’ll always have a little bit of thread coming out, but they can screw whatever they want on that. You have to have it removed, I do stuff like that, basically the same way as you put it in is the same way you take it out but it’s a bit different where you er where the skin grows in

they’re crazy but no one likes pain What’s the weirdest body modification you’ve done?

Tom: testicle to... face... operation Fox: I don’t know, probably, bit selective here, because it’s more of one I DONT like most is erm, tongue splitting, that’s only because I’m not really keen on working in people’s mouths, that’s all.

Erm but yeh, I’ve done sort of transdermal implants horns and stuff like that, that sort of stuff, implants under skin, you know what transdermal implants are don’t you? They you know, you’ve seen where they’ve got big metal spikes, that’s a transdermal implant, that’s where the er that’s basically where they select where abouts they want them so you put all the marks where they’re going to have the spikes coming out their head then you use a dermal punch to take a hole out of the skin about half inch to an inch behind the hole you make a single line incision, so you make a single line incision and lift the skin and hook it over, drawing it under the skin and up through the hole. And then

to all the er, at the base of the transdermal implant, the big labret has holes in it, so the skin grows into them holes and locks it all in place, so when you lift the skin you basically you gotta, you gotta ten get the scalpel under the skin an cut the skin back from the inside and remove the excess or you get a bit of clogging going on.

What’s the weirdest normal piercing you’ve done, not dermals or implants?

Errrrrrm [long pause] eyelid How does that even work? It’s basically erm, it’s two ways of doing it you can either put the jewellery under the eye lid or through the centre of the eyelid so basically you lift the eyelid and you sort of thread the needle up pop it through and ten you can sort of feed the jewellery through a tiny loop or something, and they just feel like they’ve got something in their eye for the next week ‘til their eye gets used to it. OR you can lift the eyelid and you have a set of microcleasers? You stick them in like this and you feed a really fine needle through, basically through the centre, of the eye lid skin an you bring it up through the top and put the jewellery through, Doesn’t it scratch on their eye?

Na, cos the jewellery’s smoothed, if it wasn’t smooth then yeh, it could scrape the eye lid, and the eye itself.

That’s probably the weirdest one I’ve done. I’m still waiting for my first ‘eurothra’, or urethra, basically you know the dangly bit at the back of your throat.

It’s suggested, that anyone getting that done is both a professional getting it done, and a professional doing it, cos you gotta control your gag reflex.

Right, shall we crack back on with this tattoo?...

Fox should be opening a shop in Dartford town centre soon, we’ll keep you posted.

W!

2

After my first rant about sex I began to think about media influence and censorship and what is considered acceptable, or synonymously perhaps, sellable. It’s fine to stick a female model on the front of… Front (magazine), with her nipples sticking through a wet T-shirt, erect as radar antennas sending electromagnetic waves to search and reel in the sexually driven public. But as with all media, a selected acceptable taboo is subconsciously sewn into our fluffy brains. Ergo, we are coerced into accepting social norms that are battered against our brains by pugilist salesmen. Not artists. You know how Muhammad Ali looks now… all shaking and feeble and fucked in the head? Well that’s a good example of the effect that advertising has on us. We are brain dead.

So if I was to start talking (God forbid) about the produce of Barthonlin’s gland (located in females in the superficial perineal pouch), and in a manner of jest, insinuate that during oral sex the self lubrication might have dried (like a raisin in the desert) on the upper lip of the lucky rug muncher. I may well find myself at risk of being offensive towards a selected majority. Is this because I am really being offensive, or because social conditioning decides on our behalf what offends us?

I can’t help but see this ominous trend throughout history. The continuation of Troglodyte tribes and fads and trends. You look at the front of Kerrang magazine and you see the same poser bands with their image and genre. If you categorize yourselves then you are restricting yourselves to the boundaries of that category. You either have complete freedom to do

whatever you want. Or you don’t have freedom. The scary thing is that every single group thinks that it is they who are the individual ones! Clinging to their genres; Metal, Punk, Hardcore, whatever it may be. I’m out of touch with what’s popular at the moment, all I know is that I’m getting bored of seeing and hearing the same banal and superfluous reflections. This kind of communal originality is a façade, and the more people blend in with the dress code and categories that dictate their lives, the more they lose themselves in a blurring miasma of… what? Comfort maybe. A feeling of identity. Things in my life often tend to gravitate towards paradox, and I can’t help seeing it here. The more people try to distinguish themselves and their own identity by grouping themselves (finding safety in numbers), by painting themselves a certain colour and shouting “THIS IS ME”, the more uniformed and lost they become in the crowd.

Media is a powerful tool for control now because violence is of diminishing utility (at least in our all righteous western countries < that was sarcasm just for anyone who‘s stupid). You’ll have noticed how words like propaganda are a lot less popular colloquially today. This is because of its communist or totalitarian links. I’m not saying that we are living in Nazi Germany, but I am drawing parallels because they are obvious.

A prime example here is the Iraq war. We were told that weapons of mass destruction had been found, and everybody knows the rest, it was an excuse used to create fear and a wish for protection from the public.

The government after causing this fear then turn around and say “We can look after you”. And alas, they are excused from ironically being terrorists.

There is no excuse for the amount of civilian casualties or lives lost or ruined because of the reckless power of the elite few over the ignorant many. Of course I have looked at two different extremes of Media control and influence here. On the one hand there is the control of our tastes and social norms. On the other is the shocking blinding power it can have on us through fear in order to mitigate the truth about our own countries war crimes. Regardless of which extreme you look at, both are extremely important to be aware of. The choice to ignore such things is always easier and never right.

Papi

Dan: “Hardcore is gay ”

So, why “Predicting the Fall”?

Ross: The name? It comes from a song “Reduced to Teeth”.

(Finch - Say hello to Sunshine (2005) “somehow he must have been predicting the fall”) We had a massive list, we were emailing to each other We went through quite a lot of names, going through songs of favourite bands, it’s one of the ones that got shouted out from across the room and stuck, ‘cos all of the other ones we came out with sucked. It was better than “Lee takes it in the Shit Box and Dan watches” that was one of the real ones, for a little while, “Can’t molest retards” was one of them.

Are you aware that people call you “Predicting the FAIL”?... Yeh How do you feel about that?

Simon: Really couldn’t give two shits [Laughter] Ross: Really don’t care, not at all.

Simon: People don’t like you, people don’t like you, Ross: People are talking about us!

That’s the most important thing!

So you’re at the beginning of your tour,youplayedMargatelastnight soyouspendalotoftimetogether, is there anything you DONT know about each other, and would like to take this opportunity to ask each other?

Ross: It’s probably a very small category of things Simon Everyone’s pretty much

seen be full bollock naked.

Ross: I’ve avoided that so far, I don’t think you’ve seen me naked, Simon: er no, I’ve seen your ass, but not your front yet.

(Yet) but I bet imagine it’s a big bush, [Laughter] midgets thumb [more laughter] We thought about this the other day in the pub, and I think I know everything about you.

Ross: His answer to everything in ‘Have you ever’ is ‘yes’, would you ever: ‘Yes’ his answer to everything is just ‘Yes’.

Simon: Done it, done it, as soon as a girl will let me do it...

[Awkward laughter]

So are you in this for 16 year olds sucking your cock... orisitaboutthemusic?

Why are you here? Doing this? All: SIXTEEN YEAR OLD GIRLS! [Laughter] Simon: They don’t know any better!

[Awkward? laughter] Naa we’re doing this because we wanted to get together and have a laugh Ross: we’re all mates at the end of the day and we all wanted to play the same sort of music, Simon: That’s why don’t give a...we get up on stage and fuck about, we make fun of each other and we just want to have a laugh. IF people call us predicting the fail, or if people slag us off on facebook, or give us bad reviews, we just go “Fuck them” we’re not doing it for them, we’re doing it for us Ross: We’d have stopped a little while ago if we were.We’ve had some good ones, some bad ones, We’ve found that if it’s a hardcore crowd, they really won’t like us,

c o s although we have our really hardcore stuff, because of the pop punk part of it, they get all snobby with it all you’ve got your generic two step beat down. We don’t have the same problem with pop punk shows, if you play one of those they tend to like the beat downs, they’re a bit more open minded. If you get reviewed by someone that likes pop punk then it’s great, but if you get reviewed by someone who likes hardcore, then they’ll generally slag us off.an: That’s cos hardcore’s gay.

Ross: Quote “Dan says “hardcore is Gay”... “Only for fags”” Dan: you’re just putting words in my mouth now!

Simon: it’s okay, 16’s legal, at 16, they don’t know any better, sweet statutory look at you?!

How do you go about self promotion?

Simon: Zoe (the Editor)’s uncle posting photos of me up around a client’s house for a laugh Ross: but yeh, mostly online really, we don’t ever go out and physically do any promotion. The stickers are

really good, we turned up here and the place is still covered in them from last time we were here! (I got home to find stickers stuck in various places on my person) apart from tat we just got really lucky?

Simon: Na, we worked hard to get where we are, but I think a lot of it is... we look, we went out and got professional photos done rather than getting a mate to do them, we went out and recorded professionally. At first we did record our own demos but got advised to take them down cos they sounded shit, regardless if people want to hear you, people listen to that, hear it sounds shit and make their mind up on the spot from that one recording, so we saved up went and did a quick one, so we could get some gigs in and were in the studio a month later doing a proper EP. The MySpace the face book, the website, Ross has done us proud with, and they all

look bang on, so when people go look at those, it looks like we’re a muchbiggerbandthanwereallyare Ross: I’m a jack of all trades, and a master of none. That’s what the tours named after the poorly advised and executed tour about our Rhianna cover Simon: some 17 year old lil’ prick Lee: You are SO friendly today!

[Laughs] Ross: that’s what reviewers are out there for, but a lot of them are.... ill advised.

Where was that review from?

Ross:Alterthepress–I’veemailed them our EP, (downloadable at predictingthefall.com)I figure, we can’t look any worse on their website, at least the EP can save us a little bit, we already have a review on their website saying we suck, so having a review saying our EP sucks won’t hurt us anymore. But a lot of people won’t think for themselves, Simon: but it’s all down to

p e rs o n a l preference at the end of the day.

Another thing, that we felt was important was that we got a name that where the website URLs were free, and where the MySpace didn’t have to be myspace.com/bandUK or / band_music or something crap

like that. So when we were looking for a band name, every time we’d check and see if there was already someone out there with that name. So now we know there’s not another band out there called predicting the fall, Dan: at the moment Simon: on MySpace Ross: well if they’re not on MySpace, they’re not worth worrying about. When we Google our name, we’re the first thing that comes up and we have been since about two months in. You’d think it’d be common sense, but a lot of bands don’t do it, and then find out when they’re on tour, there’s another band in Hull with the same name.

Do you get on well with many of the other bands? Have you made any enemies? [On cue Simon gets attacked from a member of another band with a rubber glove] Simon: we like to think we’re not pretentious wankers, Ross: we don’t rate ourselves that highlybecausewedon’tthinkweare, Simon: we’ve met so many bands and people; you’re bound to bump into some dickheads, promoters, venue owners, bands, record company people, PR people, that are so up themselves Ross: reviewers, [Laughter] At the practice rooms, you come across a lot of bands who think they’re rock stars, they kind of forget that, everyone else in that building is in a band, yet they think that they’re something special, we see a lot of bands come and go, but these bands don’t seem to get anywhere, they play the local scene a lot, but they don’t seem to... seem to do anything good with themselves. If you come across as arrogant, people aren’t going to book you again IF there was one band you could push off of the side of the earth, who would it be?

[Long Pause] Simon: Sentinal – They can fuck

“RRoossssh::tIIsrtreaerarallbllbyuyutt lilikkee fifigghtsta ddoonntt tteellll at...” aannyyoonnee tthhat...

themselves, they were pricks to the sound guy Ross: but they have fallen off of the earth, so it’s alright, well they jumped, they weren’t pushed, .... I don’t know, I don’t think we’re really like that are we? Simon probably is...

Simon: but that’s people! Bands, I don’t know, there’s definitely people i’d push off of the end of the earth, but bands, I might not like indie music, or, whatever, but you’re going up there, and you’re doing your thing, and people like you for doing your thing, so... yeh there are some god awful bands out there, but... someone likes them. People probably say the same thing about us, Lee: well I fucking wouldn’t listen to us, if I wasn’t playing in us!

Simon: Lee hates pop punk, he’s just pure death metal So how did that happen? How comes you’re in the band?

Simon: we told him we’d be a death metal band! [Laughs] Ross: we touch him Lee: it’s fun, it’s just cos I’m playing with these guys, if it was anyone else, id tell them to fuck off, plain and simple Ross: now he’s starting to enjoy it, Lee: yeh, it’s sickening, So have you started listening to pop punk?Ross: he has a four year strong album in his car, Simon: we’re slowly turning him So do you think it’s important to listen to the music you play?

Ross: You’ve got to do it a little bit for inspiration haven’t you?

Lee: yeh, ill palm it off as that, I listen to it for inspiration!

Ross: Well you can’t do things like this, if you only listen to things like that: [points to Lee’s Despised Icon shirt] although we take inspiration from that kind of thing too, as Lee is one of our primary song writers, Dan: me ‘n’ Simon are just lazy, Simon: we’re just bone idle, we live together, and there’s about 5 guitars sat next to us by the sofa and we’ve never once picked them up and tried to do anything Ross: we’re Inspired by: Day to remember, Four year strong, Buried dead, Finch, Dan: Fightstar?

Ross: Naa, leave that one out, I do really like fight star, but don’t tell anyone that, We’re inspired by these but we

don’tsoundlikethem,Isupposewe soundalittlelikeadaytoremember, but we’re inspired by a lot of people that we sound nothing like, but there are things in there that we nick, Our bass drops are straight off of despised icon Simon: We’ve been slated for trying to mix genres, and do something a bit different, rather than being appraised, they’re no good at being pop punk or screamo, Lee:butwe’vehadsomepeoplesay we’re a pure metal band through and through, from Canterbury, I don’t get it, we just play whatever comes out, we just get together and write a little chorus bit, then go, ‘Beat down’ we’ll put a beat down in here, and then we’ll stick that in there, and put that on the end, and you’re done.

Ross: we’re not trying to do anything or copy anyone; we want to try a load of different stuff, No one would admit openly to going out and trying to copy other bands, Simon:No but there’s plenty of bands that are out there, and you can go: ”you’re blatantly like fucking ‘Terror’” I could rattle off 10 hardcore bands on the local scene that have just brought out a couple of terror albums. Simon: I don’t mind hatebreed, but I don’t like terror, mainly because hatebreed have the line “live for something or you die for nothing” which I think is pretty nice, regardless of whether it’s a generic two step song, What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done? – Aimed at Simon Answer – This: the rubber glove reappears; Simon proceeds to attempt to wear it like a hat.

Ross:youlookslikefeathersmcgraw Simon thus proceeds to blow up said glove whilst still on his head.

Simon – Na I’ve done waay stupider things. Err, are we talking like band related things? I fell off the stage [VIDEO LINK] I’ve gone through a stage, erm; I’ve fallen off of a couple of stages Lee: He nearly went through a wall rolling across my back Simon: oh yeh at the practice rooms trying to do some kind of paramore-style roll across each other’s backs, landed in a heap in Dan’s drum kit You seem to be a very humour based, not very serious band, but then at the same time, you seem to take things very seriously

with your band image, and promotion.Ross: It’s like with what Lee said, “nothing serious, BUT the music”, really is the best way to describe what we’re doing.

I’ve been in so many bands that it’s just been dull, you go on tour, and it’s a fucking nightmare, and it’s like, really boring after a while, like everyone taking things too seriously, and moaning about tings all the time, and us lot get on so fucking well, erm ,we’ve got a nice balance really. We didn’t do that on purpose; it’s just kind of worked out that way really, Simon: because we’ve all been in other bands before, we know how to book shows, how to be on stage and stuff like that so, yeh, we get loads of good feedback from our live shows oh you guys are pretty cool, you move around a lot, you’re breaking shit, you’re hurting yourselves, we want people that come to see us to go “fuck me, they’re good” go away remembering the name, BUT at the same time we don’t take ourselves all that seriously, we don’t care what other people think about us, we’ll have a laugh, fuck about, hurt ourselves hurt each other, fall over things, the sound guy doesn’t like me here, because I broke a £130 stand last time we were here, Ross: didn’t you do some ninja jump into the stand?

Simon: bent it in half, he wasn’t impressed, Ross: it wasn’t on purpose . Yeh bands aren’t reliable, but today, the promoter pulled out!

Simon: yeh put his name down to be pushed off of the end of the world!

I’m determined to write a good review for this, or atlas not slate it, ‘cos it seems these guys have had some rough luck review wise, but that is going to be difficult because I have to admit before I say anything, I don’t really like pop punk, or punk in general. But I have to say, I don’t hate this. So that’s a good start… …One thing that’s immediately noticeable is how clean the sound is on this EP. There’s no denying the production value here, someone went to a lot of effort (or spent a lot of money) to make sure you hear it all. There are parts where that works in the bands favour, and others where I really think a little raw would have helped. A perfect example of where this works is on “It’s All Fun And Games ‘til Someone Loses A Bollock”. The mid section starting at 1:35 is really meaty and well rounded. I think that’s let down a wee bit by the addition of a now over used “wooooaah” vocal. now maybe I’m getting old, or maybe I’m just a buzz kill for not wanting to join in at times like that, but I guess I’m bored of hearing it, especially when I think the rest of the track is pretty alright.

I think if I had to pick one, track three, “You’ve Got Mean Eyes And A Dirty Mouth”. would be my favourite track on the EP. I really like the vocals in most of the track. One thing that would probably not be considered brilliant is the fact that the guys manage to fit pretty much every style you’ll find elsewhere on the album all into this 3 minutes and 42 seconds. I’m not gonna say that’s bad, because I quite like the pace at which they swap from a really upbeat pop punk first half into some awesome chuggy chorus’. The chorus itself has a great vocal with really nice backing vocal that at first listen might seem to clash but I really think it works. And right in the middle you get a nice punk bass slide. can’t argue with that really if you’re into that sort of thing.

Track four, “Just Smile And Wave Boys”…well, that’s a bit samey. It’s got all the bits from the last song, but they feel rearranged. It’s also a lot shorter, which leads me to assume it might be that these were some leftovers. Not bad ones! but it feels a little like there were some bits here that the guys really liked and wanted to fit them somewhere and just kind of put them together. Again it’s not bad at all, but it does feel like a little more work could have gone into making this a couple of great songs rather than one fast paced average one.

Then you get to the big finale, and it is a bit bigger at 4:20 too. I actually quite like this one, well, parts of it at least. The intro guitar riff isn’t my cup of tea but before you know it gets buried beneath some drums and pounded into a fairly standard first two minutes. Then things change. I honestly really like the hook at 2:10, I feel a lot more focus could have been put onto that, it could have played a much more major part in this track and it’s a shame it gives way pretty soon to the standard simple punk sound.

One other thing I do have to mention is the vocals. Whilst Ross never really misses a note, he still doesn’t really bring anything interesting to the sound. The whole sound reminds me a lot of Reuben, and I really think if Ross’ voice had as much character as Jamie Lenman’s the whole sound would be improved. Also I reckon more could be done to blend the intro track into track 2. The intro is pretty cool, and again I reckon that’s pretty good live but an opportunity to make it slide seamlessly into the second track was lost here.

Overall id say that this isn’t by any means the failure I’ve been lead to believe other reviewers have stated it is, and for the right crowd there’s a lot to love. The sound is probably better thrust into a younger audiences ears to get the recognition the guys deserve for putting a clear amount of hard work in. There are improvements that can be made but when aren’t there? I get the impression there’s more to be seen when the guys play live so go and check that out if you can, and in the mean time download this from their website. It might not be the EP you keep coming back to but to be fair it’s free until it goes up on iTunes and so you might as well get it and enjoy it while it lasts. (SR)

Jacqueline Marie

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just these pricks - we talk at them while they fondle each other, and piss about