Student Love
a love note from the editors
Dear StudLove readers,
We understand you are likely picking up this issue, flipping through pages of naked portraits and scandalous statistics, and feeling amused or perhaps a little bit shocked. We hope you enjoy these pages, and the embarrassing sex stories or tales of “accidates” within, as a space where bodies and sex can exist without the stigmas and judgments in which they are so often enshrouded.
The Student Love Sex Issue began in 2005 and has grown to be one of StudLife’s most exciting traditions. Our student sex survey, crafted and sifted through by our editors, received 1,981 responses to questions about the student body’s bad date stories, sex toys, and kinks. Behind these stories, you’ll find a team packed with creative ideas for photoshoot themes, illustrations, tales about our own love lives, raunchy puns, and never-ending “sex with me is like…” jokes. We would like to thank our team of editors, writers, designers, illustrators, and photographers for dedicating a ton of time and energy to this issue so that you can experience the sexiest, silliest newspaper read that you could only dream of.
With love, Nina Giraldo & Avi Holzman Editors-in-Chief
Feeling sexy: Meet this year’s sex issue cover models
What makes you feel sexy? For Student Love’s cover models, seniors Sarai Steinberg and Noah Cunningham Baker, the answer is wearing your heart on your sleeve.
The two friends, who met through Cunningham Baker’s girlfriend, sat down to talk about confidence, different types of love, and whether their grandparents will be seeing the cover photo (spoiler alert: definitely not).
When Cunningham Baker first came to WashU, he saw a senior posing mostly nude on the sex issue and thought, I could never in a million years do that.
“Definitely, in high school, I had a little bit of issues with my body, so when I saw the cover model, I thought, ‘They have so much confidence, that’s crazy,’” he said.
“Over the years, [I started feeling like] ‘Well, I could actually do that.’” Meanwhile, Steinberg’s
foray into the world of modeling for print journalism actually began when she was 3 years old — the Mountain View native was pictured in the San Francisco Chronicle sobbing at the ballet because she couldn’t be on stage with the ballerinas.
“So that’s the last time my picture was taken, and I kind of needed a redemption arc,” Steinberg said, laughing.
But, on a more serious note, she also saw the chance to be on the cover as a way to embrace her body.
“It’s pretty hard to be a woman or be a person and come out unscathed with the relationship you have with your body,” she said. “I thought it was a really great opportunity to be playful and celebrate my body for all the things it can do.”
Being sexy, to Steinberg, can mean so many different things, even as simple as being a great listener.
“Compassion is really sexy,” she said. “When I tell a really good joke and somebody laughs really
involuntarily hard, like their real laugh, and not their fake laugh, that feels really good.”
Cunningham Baker echoed the importance of developing a strong emotional connection.
“Be with somebody who you feel sexy with,” he said.
In honor of Student Love’s “Mile High Club” issue, Steinberg and Cunningham Baker broke down their opinions on the sexiest form of public transportation.
“I worked in New York this summer, and I have to say a Citi Bike,” Steinberg said. “I’m a terrible biker. But if somebody puts themselves out there and is willing to die on the Citi Bike, I think that’s pretty impressive.”
Keeping with the New York theme, Cunningham Baker opted for the subway (“There’s something about it, a little mystery, you could run into anyone”), to which Steinberg retorted, “Clearly you have never been on the subway when it’s, like, a million and two degrees outside.”
As for whether either model has ever actually joined the Mile High Club?
Well, some things are better left up to the imagination.
As Steinberg put it, “Being a camp counselor, when there’s something that you just can’t answer, you say, ‘My private life stays private.’”
This Valentine’s Day, Cunningham Baker plans to spend some quality time with his girlfriend, though time will tell what they’ll end up doing.
“I tried to look for a bunch of reservations, but honestly so many places are booked,” he said. “I feel like anywhere it can be romantic and fun, and I think the best dates are always the ones where you’re like, eating food that you got at a gas station and laughing about something.”
Valentine’s Day is about more than just romantic relationships, though — both cover models gushed about their friends, including one another.
From the beginning, Cunningham Baker felt a deep sense of appreciation for Steinberg’s friendship with his girlfriend.
“When [my girlfriend] would talk about Sarai, I was so relieved that she had
somebody she was with who she seemed to really connect to,” he said. “My expectations were high, because I heard so many good things, and [Steinberg] totally met that expectation.”
Steinberg pointed to Cunningham Baker’s sweet gestures towards his girlfriend as a testament of his character. Before they even met, he bought his girlfriend’s abroad friends — including Steinberg — tickets to go see the ballet as a birthday present.
“It’s really, really sweet,” Steinberg said. “So, good first impression.” With graduation looming
just two months away, the two reflected on any advice they would offer up to firstyears picking up the sex issue.
“Be really confident,” Cunningham Baker said. “Make the most of your time, put yourself out there and just do everything that you didn’t think you could do before.”
As for what their families will think? Steinberg said, “I told my mom, and she said, ‘Oh, dear.’”
Test it out:
STI testing, where and how
adults aged 15–24 years.”
Picture this: you’re in bed with someone, and before things progress they ask the classic, “Have you been tested?” And no, you haven’t been, but the only person you’ve been with in years is your ex and he’s only been with one or two people… or maybe three depending on what he meant when he said “hooked up.” Anyways you’re clean… right?
Or maybe you just got the fateful, “Hey… I have to tell you something,” text and are now scrambling to find a free sexually transmitted infection (STI) test.
Well, regardless of what your current situation (or crisis) is, we can help.
STI testing can feel weird and shameful. Sometimes the “rules” or guidelines seem murky, and getting tested may feel like making a declaration about your sex life.
However, STI testing is just another facet of healthcare, and one of the many things we can do to take better care of ourselves, our partners, and our communities. In fact, we likely should be getting tested much more frequently than we are. According to the Centers for Disease Control, “almost half (48.2%) of reported cases of chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis (all stages) were among adolescents and young
Further, most STIs are asymptomatic, so despite how fine you may be feeling, it’s likely a good idea to schedule that appointment. Now, how frequently you should get tested is largely dependent on the precautions you are taking and the number of sexual partners you have.
It is widely suggested that everyone should get tested once a year if they are sexually active in any capacity, which can include oral, penetrative, and other kinds of sex. However, if you have multiple partners, and/or are not using prophylactics such as condoms and dental dams, a test every 3 to 6 months is recommended. That said, sometimes it is necessary to get tested as a response to an exposure, rather than as a precaution. Though an exposure can be very anxiety-inducing, if you are exposed to an STI, you actually shouldn’t get a test immediately (unless you were exposed to HIV in the past 3 days, in which case, immediately attempt to access Post-Exposure Prophylaxis, a.k.a. PEP).
There is a wide variety in the incubation periods of different STIs, ranging from one week to a few months, to years. So, if you know which STI you’ve been exposed to, research the particular incubation period. If you are unsure, wait 2-3 weeks after exposure.
It should go without saying that while waiting on results from an STI test, you should avoid sex with others. This waiting period can be stressful but know that the majority of STIs are curable, and the ones that aren’t are treatable. So, where should you get tested? For annual testing, see your gynecologist or primary care physician. If you need to get tested in St. Louis, we highly recommend The Spot. Located on Laclede Ave, this community organization is a 13-minute drive or 40-minute Metro ride. Their walk-in testing hours are pretty specific, but if they don’t work for you, it’s easy to make an appointment. Among many services, they offer completely free and anonymous STI testing for 13-24-year-olds. The staff is attentive, efficient, and kind, and results come back quickly. Ultimately, an STI test is not something to sweat. Largely painless, efficient, and free, testing is an easy and common courtesy that we can — and should — offer our partners.
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, and I urge you to talk to a physician if any more serious questions pop up. I only hope to offer some advice as a peer who has interacted with these systems before.
ALIANA MEDIRATTA
MANAGING NEWS EDITOR
OLIVIA SALINGER STAFF WRITER
Seniors Sarai Steinberg and Noah Cunningham Baker pose during the cover model shoot.
SAM POWERS | MANAGING PHOTO EDITOR
SAM POWERS | MANAGING PHOTO EDITOR
‘Accidates’ are ruining relationships
How many times have you been asked or asked someone else to “hang out?” It doesn’t even have to be in a romantic context. It’s such a common, vague statement that it can be applicable to almost any situation. Our generation is obsessed with nonchalance, so this is a safe and comfortable way to shoot your shot. You have enough plausible deniability to deny any romantic intention if you get rejected. If someone accepts, though, then your feelings are requited, right?
The issue with this logic is the intentional ambiguity. Having been on the receiving side of the romantic version of the statement, I can confirm that this method is fundamentally flawed because the statement is used for so many situations. The amount of times I’ve accidentally gone on dates I thought were chances to make friends is both excessive and embarrassing. I created a term for it: the “accidate.”
It’s awful for everyone involved. Having to tell someone that you only agreed to go on a date because you didn’t
realize it was a date is a harsh rejection. I hated delivering it, and others hated receiving it. I hated the accusations of leading someone on, and I hated having to constantly reassert the friend zone in my interactions. It often felt unfair, but for a long time, I believed the experience was caused by my individual obliviousness. However, I’ve recently discovered that this issue transcends levels of social awareness.
The issue seems especially prevalent with men asking out women. Many of my female friends have ended up in that awkward misunderstanding with a guy friend. This happened with one of the most socially aware girls I know. She is incredibly perceptive, but she still ended up on an ‘accidate’ with her guy friend of four years. How was she supposed to discern the difference between this “hang out” text in comparison to the numerous other “hang out” texts in their four years of friendship?
The more I use the term “accidate,” the more I discover that the experience is extremely common, frustrating me more. It is unreasonable to expect your romantic prospects to
read your mind to find the subtle (or, more accurately, nonexistent) romantic tone or cues, but people still do. Friendships end because of these instances. It is an impossible standard to hold anyone to, and it creates unnecessary tension and stress in forming bonds with other people.
Even when someone reciprocates those romantic desires, the accidate — at the very least — complicates things. Another friend of mine got accidated by her current partner. It worked out, and they are still together. However, this blurs the first date threshold that would usually establish an anniversary. It also unnecessarily delayed them getting together and made my friend anxious about the status of their relationship. The friend zone looms more menacingly when you obscure the communications about the type of encounter you are pursuing.
Moreover, this intentional lack of clarity leads to modern plagues on love. We lament the lack of labels in today’s situationships, but we perpetuate the cycle by building relationships on an indefinable foundation. If we want to see more clarity in our relationships, we must begin in our attempts to initiate these bonds. We must make the trajectory of the relationship clear and agreed upon by both parties.
Accidates are also a sign of the plague of dying romance in today’s love. Dates were once expressions of feelings. They were meant to be an act of romance, and asking people on dates was a declaration of affection. Part of the reason romance is dead is because we are killing it by avoiding this clear chance. There is no romance in asking someone to “hang out” in a setting that could just as easily be platonic. We have to leave behind the comfort of plausible deniability. Right now, romance is suffering because we are all too afraid to even use the word “date.” If we want romance back, we have to start pursuing it directly. It will require bravery and change, but it will produce better relationships and love stories for us all.
‘Oops, it came!’: The best sex jokes on the spot
I’m no history expert, but I think it’s safe to say that for as long as people have been having sex, they were also making jokes about it. I mean, it’s… sex. Everyone has a funny tale to tell, something they make you promise you won’t tell anyone else but is maybe so funny that the laughs just keep coming (pun intended).
There are the classics like the “that’s what she said…,” kind of jokes, and then there is what the three improv groups on campus — SPISH, Mama’s Pot Roast (MPR), and K.A.R.L. — cooked up this year, on the spot, for your pleasure.
After playing a couple games with each group, here is what they came (sorry, I didn’t mean to finish) up with.
The first game they played was “sex with me is like…,” and each improvisor had to fill in the punchline with an assigned word. The first word was “airport.”
K.A.R.L.
“Sex with me is like an airport: I didn’t know how annoying it was to do with my family until I finally did it with my friends.”
“Sex with me is like an airport: You feel dirty afterwards, but you are too tired to shower.”
“My sex life is like classes: I might step outside to call my mom.”
The second word was “pilots.” SPISH
“Sex with me is like pilots: the best part is when you don’t use your hands.”
K.A.R.L.
“Sex with me is like pilots: If I drink before, we’re going down.”
The last word for this game was “sweaters.”
K.A.R.L.
“Sex with me is like sweaters: I put my body in it.”
“Sex with me is like sweaters: We be pilin’.”
“Sex with me is like sweaters: I may be stretched out but that doesn’t mean you aren’t gonna use me anymore”
The next game was “my sex life is like…,” and the first word was “classes.”
MPR
“My sex life is like classes: Everyone wants me in their group project.”
“My sex life is like classes: No, I didn’t need to use the bathroom, you were just boring.”
“My sex life is like classes: Please put your hand all the way up.”
The next word for this game was “cars.”
SPISH
“My sex life is like cars: I prefer Italians.”
“My sex life is like cars: I like it when everything is fitted in leather.”
“My sex like is like cars: I let Jesus take the wheel.”
“My sex life is like cars: I can’t use the stick.”
The last word for this game was “snow.”
SPISH
“My sex life is like snow: There’s lots of slippery mounds and curves involved.”
“My sex life is like snow: It impacts my seasonal affective disorder.”
“My sex life is like snow: At first it was fun and new and shiny, but now it’s gray and weird and gritty.”
MPR
“My sex life is like snow: Because of it, I have a bruised ass.”
“My sex life is like snow: they say eight inches…”
We could only end this column with a K.A.R.L. Classic — the game “I like my.”
We started with the word
K .A.R.L.
“I like my men how I like the TSA: He wants my cream so bad, so bad, all he is doing is asking how he can get my cream.”
“I like my men how I like the TSA: Oooo, I prechecked.”
“I like my men how I like the TSA: obsessed with 9/11.”
“I like my men how I like the TSA: angry at me for no reason.”
The last word was “WashU students.”
“I like my women how I like my WashU students: in the top 1% but pretending like they’re not.”
“I like my men how I like my WashU students: with a stick up their ass.”
“I like my men how I like my WashU students: always on the grind.”
“I like my men how I like my WashU frat guys: throwing my eggs all over the place.” Hope some of these jokes made you chortle, chuckle, or cringe. Check out any one of these groups’ upcoming shows this semester!
ELMA ADEMOVIC | STAFF ILLUSTRATOR
SAM POWERS | MANAGING PHOTO EDITOR
Written by Alice Gottesman, Managing Scene Editor
Dear Scene,
“My whole friend group thinks me and my best friend are in love. I may have feelings for him, but I am worried it could ruin the friendship and the group dynamic. Should I make a move? Stay in the friend zone? What if he doesn’t like me back? How do I handle this?”
Dear Frantic Friend Zone,
“You realize, of course, that we could never be friends,” Harry Burns explains to Sally Albright in Rob Reiner’s famous film, “When Harry Met Sally.” The movie explores the question of whether or not men and women can really be friends, or if the “sex part” always gets in the way. Though an incredibly heteronormative framework, the question manages to stay relevant today through conversations about the “friend zone” and what it means to escape it.
You, Frantic, are caught in the “When Harry Met Sally” dilemma. It sounds like the outside pressure of people assuming that you and your friend must have feelings for each other is complicating your ability to determine how you really feel. Still, it seems as though you are starting to reckon with the implications of not being “just friends.” It’s completely
Dear Scene,
- Frantic Friend Zone
fair to be stressed about how this will affect the different facets of your social life. But before you think about how it will affect all the people around you, try and gauge what your real feelings are. It sounds like — whether you want to admit it or not — you are already thinking about this person as more than a friend. It is worth reflecting at this point to figure out how you are viewing the relationship and what you value most about it. Are you starting to hold your friend to the standard you would hold a romantic partner? Are you hurt when they don’t act in the way you would want them to act if you were dating? What would change if you were to date? And, would you have to shift your actions and dynamics if you decide to remain just friends? It’s hard to determine if your closeness comes from a platonic or romantic place, and unfortunately there is only so much you can evaluate independently
before bringing it up with the person you’re crushing on. Maybe you’ve reflected and decided that you are better off as friends, but maybe you came to a different conclusion. If that’s the case, you will likely have to take a leap of faith.
This is obviously easier said than done. You likely feel as though you need to be COMPLETELY sure about your feelings before you raise the topic with this person. Unfortunately, that’s not how feelings work. Still, remember that this is someone you are already incredibly close with. As scary as it seems to ask the big question, you have a solid friendship to back you up, and this conversation won’t change that history — regardless of the outcome.
Now, Frantic, assuming you’ve decided to make a move (since you’ve continued reading past the reflection questions), you have to figure out how to initiate this conversation. It’s not worth losing sleep
“I’m a second-semester senior and I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve also never had sex, and I technically had my first kiss, but it was with my 4th-grade “boyfriend.” I feel so behind, and I feel like I’m missing out on a major part of the college experience. It makes me doubt myself, and I feel too old to have not had my “firsts.” Is it too late for me?”
Dear Stressed Senior,
You are not alone in this experience whatsoever. It feels like every corner of music, movies, social media, and even conversations amongst friends are about relationships, hookups, dance floor makeouts (DFMOs), and sex. It can be suffocating. It also makes it seem like all of those experiences are happening all the time — to everyone else. That is not an accurate picture.
There are so many people in your position, feeling pressured to “check boxes” on a made-up timeline. It’s hard to not let all that noise
affect your perception of self. In reality, though, there is no timeline, no right way to “do college.” Maybe you are waiting to make these experiences really special, or maybe the opportunities just haven’t yet presented themselves. Regardless, it’s okay.
The college timeline is arbitrary and not at all a reflection of you. You cannot let a fabricated idea of what “should” happen change the way you view yourself. Frankly, a lot of social ideas around sex and virginity are steeped in creepy archaic traditions, rather than in any legitimate reasoning. As outcast as you may feel, you need
- Stressed Senior
to disconnect your selfworth from your sexual experiences. The two are not tied!
A relationship is also not a marker of happiness or self-fulfillment. Plenty of people who are having sex or are in relationships struggle with confidence, feeling socially behind, or other insecurities. The romantic and sexual experiences you feel that you are lacking are not the solution to feelings of self-doubt and undesirability. Your relationship status does not determine your value.
Sex is also not an integral part of your college experience. You have accomplished so much here
trying to figure out what the perfect moment will be. It’s going to be nerve-racking regardless. What matters more is figuring out what you want to say. You could go the route of trying to bring your feelings up by starting a more general conversation about dating or relationships first, but I would recommend a slightly more blunt approach. Perhaps open with a statement about yourself like, “I think I have feelings for you in a ‘more than friends’ way,” or go a more casual direction and ask them, “Have you ever thought about our relationship in a
‘more than friends’ kind of way?”
Then, brace yourself for any response. You might not get a concrete answer in the moment, but hopefully you will feel some instant relief from getting it off your chest.
Don’t worry about friend group dynamics or how other people will respond until there is something for them to respond to. Besides, Frantic, it sounds like your friends are already thinking about your situation and pushing you to take action…
Ultimately, “When Harry Met Sally” is not about the way a relationship will change a friendship, but
that friendship forms the strongest foundation for a relationship. Do with that what you will, but if you know you have feelings, the dynamic has already shifted. Maybe that’s something worth pursuing. To end on a note of redemption for Harry Burns: “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” I say take the leap.
With Love, Scene
and you should be proud!
Decouple your sexual milestones from your other life accomplishments — you’re a whole person outside of your love life. Furthermore, the end of college is not the last time you’ll have the opportunity to experience new things.
How to write a love letter
game.
In an era where everything has become digitized, personal connection is often lost. In order to combat this, we should normalize taking our personal thoughts, writing them all down on a piece of paper, and sending them to that special someone. Not sure where to start or how to begin?
Here are the eight steps to successfully write a love letter. First, choose your subject. Love letters don’t only have to be for someone you love in a romantic way. You could write a love letter to a dear friend or someone else who means a lot to you. You could even write a letter
confessing your love to someone! (A bold move that has the potential for high reward… proceed at your own risk.)
Second, find some nice paper to write this letter on. Half the challenge of writing a successful love letter is taking the time to make it look good. Anyone can hit the little button in their email to compose a message. A piece of notebook paper could work, but the better your paper, the more romantic. Maybe a piece of colored construction paper, stationery, or even a blank Hallmark card. For those of us who don’t even know where to start with paper goods, printing out a fancy border from the internet on printer paper is an easy way to up your paper
Third, secure an envelope. Envelopes and paper often can be found close together, so it’s good to grab this now. Make sure the envelope is good enough to keep your love letter safe until your beloved receives it.
You may already be thinking, this is too much. But nobody said this was going to be easy! It will, however, be worthwhile.
Fourth, greet the recipient in a cutesy way. This is not the time to use someone’s government name, unless they’re into that. Be dramatic; refer to them as your beloved. Remember, this is not an email. Write from the heart!
Fifth, write the letter. Even if you have crappy handwriting, just try your
best. Again, the art of the love letter lies in the fact that your recipient will have a tangible example of all the love you put into creating something for them. This is not official correspondence, so legibility is less important.
Speak from the heart!
Topics of interest might include: how grateful you are to have them in your life, how much worse/ harder/sadder your life would be without them, qualities you like about them, Valentine’s Day wishes, reminiscing on a positive memory you have with your beloved, saying why you were so moved to communicate with them in such a way.
Or write about things that remind you of them: songs, street corners,
Your life is literally just starting — there is no way for you to be “behind.” So go forward with confidence. Know that you’re hot, sexy, attractive, and desirable. Carry that into the rest of the semester and out into the world, and you’ll check those imaginary boxes when the time comes. Try not to get hung up on the sex you think other people are having, and remember that your experience is more common than you’ll ever know.
Your Sexperts, Scene
foods, smells, and other simple pleasures in life, something about the labor you took to create this so that they know how much you love them, some sort of hyperbole of how much you love them (50 million tons, to the moon and back times 100, and so on).
Sixth, and optional: Seal the letter with a kiss or some sort of mark of your being. Spray some of your perfume on it. Include a little doodle, a flower petal, or maybe a cool sticker.
Seventh, send off your correspondence! Take the envelope from Step 3. The bold will decide to hand their finished love letter to their beloved. If your beloved is far away or you are a little shy, you may need to enlist the help of
the U.S. Postal Service in delivering your love letter. You will need their address and a stamp. Thankfully, there are mailboxes around campus and the surrounding neighborhoods for you to drop your stamped letter in. You could even take a trip to one of the mailrooms that service oncampus housing to buy a stamp and mail your letter all at once.
Last but not least, wait for the gushing response from your beloved. Account for delays because of the postal service, or even the initial shock that someone might experience after receiving such a beautiful display of love in a cold, technology-driven world.
Happy writing!
ANNA DORSEY | STAFF ILLUSTRATOR
ANAELDA RAMOS | ILLUSTRATION EDITOR
STUDENT LOVE SAFETY INSTRUCTIONS
Please review before taking off and enjoy your flight
“After we fucked he immediately started panicking that what we did was a sin and that we were going to hell. This was my first boyfriend. Sex was his idea. I didn’t even know he was religious.”
ILLUSTRATED BY:
ANAELDA RAMOS, ILLUSTRATION EDITOR ILLUSTRATED
“After having sex, he asked “was it good?” and I said yes. He got out of bed, did a victory pose and pumped his fists. He was 100% serious.”
ILLUSTRATED BY: ELLIANA LILLING, CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATOR
(do not follow these instructions) 1 3 4a 4b 2
“I once fell out of a lofted bed when staying at a guy’s place”
“A guy told me chivalry is dead when it was pouring and said he didn’t want to give away his jacket...”
“Had sex on plane...” 5a 5b
“....a few feet away from her step mom”
“....We continued to sit outside.”
ILLUSTRATED BY: DAVID WANG, STAFF ILLUSTRATOR ILLUSTRATED BY:
1,981
This sex issue is brought to you by Jaime Hebel, AnaElda Ramos, & Sydney Tran
“I’d like to see sex ed [get] raunchier”:
Queer sex therapist Casey Tanner on sex, sexuality, and
Certified sex therapist Casey Tanner, who specializes in sexuality among Gen-Z and millennials, met with Student Life editors Zach Trabitz and Aliza Lubitz to discuss sex and relationships among college students.
Tanner is known for creating the Instagram account @queersextherapy, which provides information and advice on queer sex and relationships to its more than 330,000 followers. Tanner is also the founder and CEO of The Expansive Group, a practice offering therapy, support groups, pleasure mentoring, and training on a range of topics — from boundaries in partnerships to porn literacy and lessons on how to take sexy photos. Additionally, they have shared their expertise with businesses, universities, and media outlets including Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, and Oprah, and recently authored their first book, “Feel It All: A Therapist’s Guide to Reimagining Your Relationship with Sex.”
Student Life (SL): Could you talk a bit about your own experience with relationships and sex in your teens and in college?
Casey Tanner (CT): I grew up super evangelical. I actually recently discovered my journal that I wrote to Jesus, [in which] I was apologizing for letting someone feel me up when I was 16. I had a super guiltinducing sex education, but was simultaneously a very sexual person. I didn’t really know what to make of the fact that I was somebody that was really interested in sex, but was being told that it wasn’t
OK to be interested in sex. I went to a college where I actually had to sign a document that said I wouldn’t be queer or engage in anything queer. I dated my first girlfriend in college and we were both almost expelled. So it just felt like a very high intensity, high risk choice to be authentic around sex when I was in college. [I’d also add that] certainly I was not orgasming as a teenager. I didn’t have my first orgasm until I was 23 and so, while I had sex that was pleasurable in different ways, I was definitely missing out on not having the information that I have now.
SL: What do you wish you knew about relationships and sex when you were our age?
CT: Your partners are your teachers around relationships and sexuality, so choose partners that you want to learn from and learn with. If you aren’t with someone you want to be learning from, then that would be something to pay attention to. I also think that, in college, you’re getting access to so many new ideas and ways of being that can be really freeing, and it’s OK to feel anger and grief around not having had those things sooner.
If I was talking to my younger self, I’d [say], “stop faking orgasms for somebody else’s ego.’” No one is worth faking an orgasm for, except for yourself. I [also] would have given myself a vibrator as soon as I was in a good place to have it. As a high school student, but certainly, as a college student, day one of my freshman year, I would have given myself a vibrator. Maybe six different vibrators.
I’d also tell myself that the language and labels
that I would be using for myself [and my sexuality] would be ever evolving. I didn’t need to be able to predict the next four decades in order to choose words that work for me. I could just sort of go with what felt good, and that it would be OK to change and change again.
There’s a lot of tropes around like, being gay is an experiment, but I actually think that sometimes it is, and that it’s OK to experiment and to not be sure if you’re gonna like something before you try it, and be wrong, and that’s OK too.
SL: What inspired you to become a sex therapist with a focus on the queer community?
CT: I really struggled with my mental health in college. I struggled with depression, anxiety, eating disorders and was in therapy, trying different medications — nothing was working. The day that my recovery started was the day that I came out as queer, [yet] no therapist had thought to ask me a question about my sexuality. The fact that [coming out] was such a game changer for my mental health and that no therapist had asked me about it was infuriating. I don’t want a single other person to have a therapeutic experience where they’re not being asked about this key dimension of themselves. In a way, stepping into this work was sort of a labor of love for my younger self, who I really wish had had a queer sex therapist. Since then, I’ve gotten to work with the queer community for eight years now. I just know it to be a space of so much brilliance and creativity as it relates to sex. I learn so much from my clients and it keeps me on my toes.
The power of sex: ‘Babygirl’
both say the right thing.
Halina Reijn’s “Babygirl” is more than Harris Dickinson shirtless, more than Nicole Kidman having orgasms, and more than a guilty pleasure.
“Babygirl” is a bold display of female fantasy through its eroticism and vulnerability.
By Reijn’s intentional use of cinematic elements to display desire, she not only redefines the boundaries of what women directors can create but also paves the way for a more authentic representation of women’s complexities in the male-dominated film industry.
“Babygirl” follows CEO Romy (Nicole Kidman) as she hides her masochistic desires from her husband. This suppression leads her to a sexual relationship with a new intern, Samuel (Harris Dickinson). The movie has vulnerable and tense sex scenes between the two that display the uglier and funnier aspects of sex which aren’t seen in film as much.
At first, I thought this film was surface-level and lazily directed. I was left wanting the sex scenes to show perfect interactions between Romy and Samuel, with music playing softly in the background and the lighting dim as they
The second time I watched it, I realized these aspects weren’t as lazily attempted as I previously thought. Instead, I saw there was intention to keep that “perfect” sex scene away from the characters. Even with this realization, I was unable to pinpoint how the elements of the film were working, so I talked to the WashU’s Director of Film and Media Studies, Dr. Colin Burnett, to see if he could help provide a more thorough analysis of “Babygirl.”
“I actually do think that this movie is, in a number of ways, pretty sophisticated visually … [and also] in terms of sound, but just to focus on the visuals. So the creativity there might have been in instructing the cinematographer to pare that down, that maybe the directing was as follows: We’re not going to use lighting as the main source of expression here. We’re not going to use elaborate staging as the main source of expression here [We’ll use] the movement of bodies in space,” Burnett said.
When we’re watching the movie, Reijn doesn’t want us distracted by the spectacle elements of the film, like lighting and camera movement, but rather by what is happening
SL: What are some myths about sex and intimacy in the queer community — either myths coming from within the queer community itself or from outside of it?
CT: I feel like the myth I’m most used to from outside of the queer community is that queer bodies are not sufficient at creating pleasure and that we have to bring in some kind of prop. I’m always a proponent of props, and I think queer people are a lot better at using props, but it doesn’t mean we have to.
[Another] myth that can happen both outside and inside of the queer community is that queer sex is always about taking turns, like “I focus on your body now,” [and] that straight people get to experience pleasure at the same time. But there are many, many ways of having queer sex where everyone involved is experiencing pleasure at the same time. Generally the idea that
queer sex is limited, or that queer sex is attempting to recreate straight sex [is a myth]. The idea that someone would wear a strap-on because they want to recreate heterosexual sex is so ridiculous to me, right? We are creating something totally different and new.
SL: What are your thoughts on polyamory and non-monogamy? And what might you say to a student who is interested in trying these types of relationships?
CT: Even though polyamory and nonmonogamy feel like these very new ways of being with people, they’re actually very indigenous ways of being with people that got interrupted by colonization. Colonization is what made monogamy the norm, and so I very much believe that there’s wisdom to these approaches to relationships.
I don’t believe monogamy is better or worse [than other relationship
types]. I don’t feel the need to compare different ways of being in relationships. I would never tell somebody, “don’t try it” or “do try it,” but I would tell somebody, “as you do try this, really pay attention to how it feels in your body to engage in one versus the other.”
Monogamy asks something very specific of our nervous system, and nonmonogamy asks something different of our nervous system. Depending on how you’re built, your attachment style, you might feel more drawn to one or the other. I think you can only know by trying. And you can be radical and monogamous, I promise.
between the characters and how their emotions build off of each other.
The film’s sophisticated visuals support Reijn’s complex narrative, which she openly connects to her own life.
In her interview with Academy Conversations, she says “there’s a lot of discussion, of course, about this movie because you see this incredibly powerful woman … and suddenly you see her crawling around and eating candy out of someone’s hand, so understandably it can be confusing for people, but I think life is confusing.”
Although this film can seem foreign to a lot of people, it is still Romy’s and somebody else’s reality, and it would have maintained a fantasy if Reijn didn’t step up to put a woman’s desire into the film. I write this trying to respect the film for the art that it is. Despite the fact that it isn’t nominated for an Oscar, “Babygirl” still makes a profound mark on the film industry. It’s impacted Reijn’s career and the careers of future female directors. This film shows other female directors that
The guide to getting it on:
How to have sex when you have a roommate
ASTRID
As self-proclaimed perfect roommates, there was one subject that obviously came up during our roommate agreement discussion: sex (or as it’s called in our room, making sweet sweet love). Breaking boundaries for sex is one of the leading causes of roommate tension and could be easily avoided with a few simple guidelines. Although it might be awkward, the sex conversation should be at the top of the list for every roommate and suitemate.
While we have managed this situation perfectly, there are many ways to handle “the talk.” Our neighbor, sophomore Ronak Agarwal, has a few creative solutions for decreasing any conflicts between himself and his suitemates. Agarwal suggests shortening the time that you are having sex so that your roommate does not have to be exiled for too long. “No foreplay. Finish in 30 seconds. No condom. You just need to get in and out. Bam, done. If it’s 30 seconds about every other day, that’s not going to be an issue for any roommate,” Agarwal said.
“And if that is an issue for your roommate, you need to get a new roommate, because that is a roommate who’s not willing to be flexible.”
After hearing this advice, we became aware of how woefully uneducated some students can be and decided to share a few tips.
Timing
The first way to have the sex you want is knowing your roommate’s schedule. If you know when they will be out of the room, you can avoid a whole lot of headache by having sex when they aren’t around.
Beyond that is the classic sexile, a.k.a. kicking your roommate out so you can freak it. There are a couple of things you need to keep in mind here so as not to increase the probability of resentment. Be mindful of when you are kicking out your roommate, the frequency, and for how long you are kicking them out. If you walk in the room at 1 a.m. and sentence your roommate to unexpected sexile, you are setting up a bad situation for your future roommate-ship.
Be mindful of how long you are asking to use the room for — taking it for hours is quite frankly unfair. The same goes for how often: if you’re
kicking them out every day, first, you might have a problem, and second, you’re probably going to be causing some conflict.
Noise
Noise, especially for suitemates, can potentially be an awkward situation. The solution to this one is quite simple: be aware of it. If you are keeping your roommate up every night, this has the potential to be problematic long-term (and, truly, no one wants to hear you moaning while they’re trying to sleep). If that’s too hard for you, we encourage you to try out a gag: it has the practicality of muffling noise and provides an extra kinky flair to an average Tuesday bone sesh.
While Rory Gilmore and Paris Geller taught us that investing in quality headphones is essential, it is important that you remain aware of any sort of disruption you could be creating for them. Dorm beds are quite squeaky and everyone nearby can hear you, whether that be your roommate or downstairs neighbor. Trust us, you never want to face your roommate after banging too loudly on the wall the night before their big orgo exam.
Communication
The key to ensuring successful sex while having a roommate is communication. This shows up in three different forms. First, it is important to communicate in advance with your roommate when you want to have the room to yourself. Providing advance notice and allowing them to gather their stuff before leaving will create a more stable environment and increase the likelihood they will be understanding with future requests. If you forget to give advance notice, it’s OK, but make sure that you still warn your roommate so they don’t walk in on you getting down and dirty.
The second is to make sure that both you and your roommate are comfortable expressing when you have an issue with each other. While this is generally an important roommate skill, it is especially essential with intimate matters. If you aren’t comfortable talking to your roommate about sexual boundaries, maybe you’re not emotionally mature enough to be having sex.
Third, talk about it at the beginning of the year, no matter what. While you might not expect this to be an issue, it’s important to set yourself up for success early
on to avoid issues later down the road. Talk through whatif scenarios so you and your roommate are on the same page if something happens. You never know who you’ll end up bringing home….
Boundaries
Boundaries, unfortunately, are all too often crossed when it comes to sex and roommates. Some frequent issues are having sex while the roommate is in the room or having sex on a roommate’s bed. EW! While you might think you’re slick, the roommate always knows (and it’s super gross). If you are the roommate being kicked out, set boundaries to prevent yourself from feeling out of place in your room, and if you are having issues, make sure to reaffirm your boundaries, talk to your roommate, or talk to your RA if the problem persists.
Setting boundaries applies to everyone, even you, longdistance lovers! While I’m sure that phone sex is a vital part of keeping that high school spark alive, your roommate does not need to hear your sweet nothings. Try sexting instead! It gets the point across while making no noise (depending on how you do it).
The College Chef’s Handbook: Aphrodisiac dishes for Valentine’s Day
ELIZABETH GRIEVE
SENIOR SCENE EDITOR
Friends, fellow apartment chefs, and haphazard dorm cooks: welcome back to another installment of the College Chef’s Handbook. It’s been a while, but I’m back to bring you more recipes from my apartment kitchen. Whether or not you have a significant other in your life, Valentine’s Day
calls for special treats. This year, instead of my usual heart-shaped, pink-frosted shortbread cookies, I decided to put my cooking skills to use to develop some new, romantic recipes for a fancy dinner with my boyfriend. This wasn’t just any romantic dinner, however. I designed this four course feast to contain ingredients that are thought to be aphrodisiacs. Such ingredients include strawberries, chocolate,
Pomegranate spritz mocktails/cocktails:
A good appetizer-type drink: light and refreshing, but full of flavor and fizz.
Ingredients: Pomegranate juice (the aphrodisiac), simple syrup, lime juice, sparkling water, pomegranate seeds and fresh herbs for garnish, vodka or gin (if making a cocktail).
Instructions: In a glass full of ice, add pomegranate juice, simple syrup, and a splash of freshly squeezed lime juice, filling about two-thirds of the glass. Fill the rest of the glass with sparkling water, and add some fresh thyme and pomegranate on top. If adding alcohol, add at the beginning with the pomegranate juice. For a less sweet mocktail/cocktail, add some more lime juice.
Ingredients: 5 ounces of figs (an aphrodisiac), 2 beets, peeled and diced, 2 ounces of goat cheese, pomegranate seeds (an aphrodisiac), balsamic vinegar, olive oil, salt, pepper.
Instructions: Start by boiling the diced beets until they are soft enough to be pierced with a fork, about 20 minutes. Then, slice the figs into bite sized slivers and arrange them in salad bowls, along with the drained beets. Then top the salads with the goat cheese (which I crumbled up with a fork) and the olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Add salt and pepper to taste.
Ingredients: Steaks (an aphrodisiac), neutral oil (like olive or avocado oil), salt, pepper, garlic powder, butter, thyme.
Instructions: Pick a cut of steak that is moderately thin. I like a New York strip, but any cut can work with a little bit of cook time adjustment. First, generously coat each side of the steak with salt, pepper, and garlic powder. Then put a bit of olive oil in a stainless steel pan, then get it as hot as it can possibly go (it will smoke). Once the oil is very hot, gently place the steak in the pan and sear it on each side for about 2 minutes. After taking out of the pan, top it with a little butter and thyme.
pomegranate, beef, figs, oysters, and more. In theory, these foods increase libido by stimulating blood flow and supplying antioxidants. However, any evidence that these foods actually have these effects is inconsistent at best. But, it doesn’t hurt to try! So, I set out to answer the age-old question with a dinner full of aphrodisiacs: do they actually work? Here are the four recipes I developed and tested for the occasion.
Rating: Butterflies-inmy-stomach out of 10
Rating: Make-out-sessionin-the-kitchen out of 10
Rating: You-could-atleast-buy-me-dinner-first out of 10
Chocolate ganache tarts:
A rich and creamy chocolate delight, because I unfortunately can’t reveal my proprietary brownie recipe.
Ingredients: For the crust: 9 tablespoons of cold, unsalted butter, 1 ½ cups of flour, 3 teaspoons of sugar, ½ teaspoon of salt, a couple tablespoons of iced water. For the chocolate filling: 6 ounces of chocolate (an aphrodisiac), 1 cup of heavy cream, 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract. (loosely based on this recipe)
Instructions: For the crust, cube the butter and then put it back in the refrigerator to stay cold. Using a pastry blender, cut the butter into the flour and other dry ingredients. Once the butter is in small bits, add just enough tablespoons of iced water for the dough to come together. Then press the dough into little tartlet pans (but it can also be pressed into a full-size pie plate). Poke a couple holes in the bottom of the dough, and then bake at 350 degrees F until the tart shell is lightly browned.
For the filling, heat the heavy cream until it’s just below simmering. Pour it directly over the chocolate and let it sit for a few minutes. To finish off the filling, whisk in the vanilla extract. After the tart shells are cool, pour the filling inside and let them chill in the refrigerator until they are set. To be a little extra, and make my boyfriend feel extra special, I made some meringue and torched it on top. The tarts are also very good with fresh whipped cream.
In order to make sure the food was ready at the same time, I started with the tarts, then made the salads, then the steaks, and finally the mocktails. The full meal took about 2 hours to make.
It’s safe to say that the two of us enjoyed our aphrodisiac
feast. I think that it’s possible that the aphrodisiac ingredients helped to enhance our dinner, whether or not the effects were placebo.
Cooking a nice meal is a perfect way to show someone you care about them. For me, food is sort of a love language.
Other Solutions
Still got problems? Here’s some rapid-fire advice. Create a code word, like “spaghetti,” that signals you want to get nasty. Then when you tell your roommate that you really want to “make some spaghetti” and need them to “get noodles,” they’ll know to vacate the premises.
The next potential solution is a third location that will let you avoid the roommate problem entirely. For example, common rooms, bathrooms, dark stairwells, and the top of the mound of dirt in the construction site are all great options that won’t disturb your roommate and will provide an exciting and adventurous twist to your sexcapade.
The final and most obvious solution is just to have sex with your roommate! This will prevent any need for sexile and ensures everyone in the room is satisfied. While (contrary to popular belief) we can’t speak personally to this, this solution is convenient and enjoyable for all. No more walks of shame! Your closet becomes your overnight bag. That’s it for now! We hope you enjoy porking it, laying pipe, humping your honey, bumping uglies, or shaking sheets, all while staying best friends with your roommate!
Rating: Cuddle-up-on-thecouch-for-some-aftercare out of 10
I pour my heart and soul into everything I make, and it gives me so much joy to see others, especially my boyfriend, like what I cook. So give these recipes a try! I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Fig and beet salad with goat cheese: An earthy and fruity dish balanced with soft and creamy goat cheese.
Pan-seared steak: What more can I say? A perfectly cooked steak is the most romantic dish.
RECIPE PHOTOS: ELIZABETH GRIEVE, SENIOR SCENE EDITOR
Sleeping with the enemy:
Can you date someone with different politics?
I am a political person.
I’m the person talking about politics to strangers at the bar, and I have turned a few too many dates into town hall meetings., and …..
If you asked my high school self if I would date someone with different political views I would give an easy, outright no. However, as I’ve grown and had more conversations with people who hold diverse perspectives and beliefs, my answer to this question has become more nuanced.
While considering whether you can date someone with different political beliefs, there are a few questions you should ask yourself. What is “dating”?
“Dating” is an ambiguous umbrella term — especially in college. Hooking up with someone is very different than heading toward marriage, and those distinctions matter when you are evaluating your partner. You may be more willing to have sex with someone with a MAGA hat on their dresser than who wears it to your family Thanksgiving dinner.
If you and your partner change your flavor of “dating” over time, your answers to the following questions may change too (and that’s okay).
How important are politics to you?
If politics are extremely important to you, the following considerations might be more important for you than for others. Answering this question means more than thinking about how often you open your news app. It is also important to identify what politics mean to you: Do you talk about them a lot? Does the political state of the world impact your everyday emotions? How do your politics impact how you define your identity?
Consider how much your prospective partner’s politics will impact your daily life, actions, emotions, and, (obviously) your overall relationship. If you prefer not to talk politics, your political differences could impact your relationship less. If thinking about a person calling themselves “social democrat, fiscal republican” gives you an insurmountable ick, you may have your answer. You
may also want to consider how dating someone with different political beliefs will affect your future, such as family gatherings or having children.
What are your deal breakers?
Like the word “dating,” “politics” is a vague allencompassing term. You can assess a partner’s politics based on the party they affiliate with, political ideology, or the specific issues they care about. These beliefs lie on a spectrum and you need to think about where you draw the line(s). Think about what parts of your politics matter most to you and whether you would be with someone who deviates from those ideas. For example, you may be willing to date a Republican, but not someone who is prolife. Or you could be with someone who voted for any party, but not someone who did not vote at all.
Are they political opinions or personal values?
As you consider the spectrum of beliefs you do and don’t want in a partner, you may discover which beliefs you hold most deeply. Having a partner who differs in political views can feel different than having a partner who differs in values. Values are political and politicized. When you evaluate your political dealbreakers, think about what your values are and whether you believe political beliefs are connected to those values. For example, supporting anti-immigration policy may be “political” but it also aligns with values like equality and human rights. People draw the lines between values and politics in different places. You may believe voting for Donald Trump reflects values that you disagree with; others do not. Some may see supporting universal healthcare as crucial to their value system, while others see this as a simple policy preference. If you view political beliefs as a clear reflection of someone’s character and values, dating someone with conflicting views to yours could be very difficult.
But what will people think?!
People, especially your friends and family, will undoubtedly have opinions
The seven sexiest movies of 2024
SARA GELRUD
JUNIOR SCENE EDITOR
Want a good movie to watch with your family or partner? Avoid these! In 2024 we were blessed with so many great new releases, so here are the sexiest of them all.
“Love Lies Bleeding”
This film is two hours of pure female roid-rage. Lou (Kristen Stewart) manages a gym which Jackie (Katy M. O’Brian), a determined bodybuilder, passes through on her way to Las Vegas for a competition. Intertwined within Lou and Jackie’s love story is a gory, grotesque, and violent adventure that warns what happens when “love” goes too far.
“MaXXXine”
about your relationships. If they hold different political beliefs than your partner, they may disapprove of the relationship or have concerns about compatibility. If your friends or family’s opinions matter a lot to you, then by all means, take these thoughts into consideration. However, do not let other people’s opinions be the reason you are or aren’t with someone.
Of course, this advice is far from exhaustive and there are infinitely more factors to consider when evaluating a romantic or sexual partner. Additionally, I believe being with someone with different politics is not the same as being with someone who is racist, sexist, homophobic, or transphobic.
In our increasingly politically polarized society, it may seem more and more impossible that people with different politics can be together. Remember that these are personal choices and you are not a bad person for any decision you land on. Do not close yourself off to new opportunities because you are scared, but also know your boundaries.
Ultimately, like all considerations about prospective or current partners, it is crucial that you do not sacrifice parts of yourself or act like someone you are not. Being in a relationship with someone with different politics should not be the same as nodding along to your relatives discussing the “Gulf of America”. If politics matter to you, you should make an effort to talk about them with your partner, even if you risk disagreeing or offending them. Even if it is uncomfortable, avoiding the topic could become more uncomfortable, as it becomes a lingering unacknowledged aspect of your relationship.
Politics are not everything, but they can be a gateway to understanding more about a person beyond party affiliation. After having a (political) conversation with your current or prospective partner, you should think about how you communicated with one another. Were they respectful to you and about your beliefs and were you to them? How did they listen? Good communication is essential to a healthy relationship and the answers to these questions may shed more light on your partner as a person and on your relationship.
always repeating her mantra, “I will not accept a life I do not deserve,” while dressed in a killer wardrobe with daring makeup looks.
“Challengers”
Tense tennis matches, a heated and twisted love triangle, and crunchy Churros. That’s all I’ll say for this one!
“My Old Ass”
Knowing your self-worth is one of the sexiest themes in so many movies from 2024. In “MaXXXine,” the third installment of Ti West’s horror “X” trilogy, protagonist Maxine Minx (Mia Goth) decides that she’s had enough: she’s tired of being the star of adult films and is instead determined to be a star in Hollywood films instead. Throughout her struggle to stardom, Maxine exudes a sexy confidence,
Enjoying the present and living life to its fullest potential is sexy! While doing shrooms in the woods, Elliott (Maisy Stella) meets her future self (Aubrey Plaza). Soon, Elliott realizes the importance of living in the present moment and takes time to be with her parents and two siblings, resolving to not take anything for granted anymore. She navigates her sexuality, meets the love of her life, and enjoys her final weeks at home before leaving for college. This film will definitely make you laugh, it might make you cry, and it’s definitely sexy.
“Boy Kills World” and “Monkey Man”
In both (very similar) films, an attractive man savages a whole city in order to avenge his family member’s death. Both protagonists
(Dev Patel in “Monkey Man” and Bill Skarsgård in “Boy Kills World”) are bloodthirsty and hell-bent on revenge, no matter who they hurt. Both protagonists also have the sharpest abs shown in any AMC in 2024.
“Anora”
Ani (Mikey Madison), a Brooklyn stripper, marries Vanya (Mark Eydelshteyn), the charismatic son of a Russian oligarch. “Anora” is a modern Cinderella story that plays with your emotions and expectations, leaving you wanting to laugh, cry, throw up, and maybe even scream as you leave the theater. It’s raw, intentional, and honest. With stunning visuals, addictive characters, and a small peek into a stripper’s life, it might even be the sexiest movie of 2024.
My 2023 Honorable Mentions:
“National Anthem” The American Dream through the eyes of a troupe of queer rodeo performers — amazing.
“Saltburn”
Sexy enough to regret watching this with my whole family on opening night!
So, you want to fall in love (with a book)?
OLIVIA LEE JUNIOR SCENE EDITOR
It’s February, and the lackadaisical days of Winter Break are officially cemented in the past. Schoolwork is ramping up, midterms are (somehow?!) around the corner, and it’s safe to say that we could all use a little break, a little detox. Therwe is, perhaps, no better way to detach yourself from the stresses of academic life than by diving into the escapist and refreshing world of romance literature. Whether you’re looking for addictive tension, a slow-burn, smut, or a happy ending, romance books have something for everybody. So, grab a cozy blanket, put on some romantic jazz, and allow yourself to be whisked away by these five lovable reads!
“Just for the Summer” by Abby Jimenez
Though “Just for the Summer” is the third book in Abby Jimenez’s interconnected series, “Part of Your World,” it can be read as a standalone (though, of course, the other two books are worthy reads). “Just for the Summer” follows Justin and Emma, two individuals who share a romantic “curse”: every person they date finds “the one” immediately after their breakup. After meeting, Justin and Emma devise a way to break this curse. If they dated each other “just for the summer” and then broke up, they would find their own soulmates! Of course, they just might fall in love with each other during the process… who could say? “Just for the Summer” is character-driven, sweet, and humorous, making it the perfect novel to escape the dreary St. Louis February for a summer on Lake Minnetonka.
“Bride” by Ali Hazelwood
If you’ve ever had a “Twilight” phase, give Ali Hazelwood’s “Bride” a try. “Bride” follows Misery Lark, a Vampyre, as she is forced to marry Lowe Moreland, a Werewolf. Yes, this sounds outrageous. Add in the fact that Misery is simultaneously investigating the disappearance of her best friend, and “Bride” becomes chaos. Yet, this book (somehow) works. Its intriguing world coupled with the enemies-to-lovers tension between Misery and Lowe make this book utterly captivating. And, of course, it wouldn’t be an Ali Hazelwood book without a healthy dose of smut.
“The RomCommers” by Katherine Center
Katherine Center creates some of the most inventive plots in the romance genre. Her latest book, “The RomCommers,” is no exception. This novel centers around Emma Wheeler, an aspiring screenwriter who is obsessed with, you guessed it, romantic comedies. Emma is hired to rewrite a disastrous romcom script by her hero, the wildly famous and successful screenwriter Charlie Yates. As she attempts to revive Charlie’s script and convince him of the allure of the rom-com genre, Emma takes on a much larger challenge: showing Charlie the value of love.
“The Rom-Commers” is a heartwarming, clever, and somewhat meta addition to its titular genre.
“Heartless Hunter” by Kristen Cicarelli
Largely popularized by BookTok, “Heartless Hunter” is one of the best romantic fantasies released in recent years. “Heartless Hunter” is set in a world in which witches have become
exiles of society and hunted for their magic. Rune is one of these witches and is forced to spend her days hiding her true form by parading as a member of high society. However, at night, Rune becomes the Crimson Moth, a mysterious figure who rescues witches from capture and eradication. In order to gather crucial information and cover her tracks, Rune decides to begin courting Gideon Sharpe, a witch hunter. However, Gideon isn’t the only love interest in “Heartless Hunter.” His brother Alex is Rune’s longtime friend, and he just happens to be hopelessly in love with the secret witch. This romance is full of forbidden love, twists, and high stakes, and its fast-paced plot is guaranteed to keep you on your toes.
“Mistborn” by
Brandon Sanderson
This is not a romance book. Yes, I know that this is a list of romance recommendations. However, I understand that there are those who are not totally sold on the idea of a book focused almost entirely on characters falling in love. So, for those readers, here is a plot-driven, inventive fantasy book with the lightest sprinkle of romance. “Mistborn” is centered in a world ruled by a god-like dictator in which some nobles possess the ability to burn metals and access magical powers. Vin, a lowborn orphan who can wield these magical powers, is recruited by a ragtag team who is determined to overthrow the empire’s dictator. The story follows Vin and the team’s leader, Kelsier, as Vin discovers her power, a newfound family, and, of course, a sweet and youthful romance. “Mistborn” is action-packed, heartwrenching, and addictive, proving Sanderson to be the true master of the fantasy genre.
SYLVIE RICHARDS STAFF WRITER
ANAELDA RAMOS | ILLUSTRATION EDITOR
Let’s talk about sex, baby! But wait — – before we can get down and dirty, let’s make sure we’re actually on the same page. It’s not just your WGSS class that’ll make you reconsider your definition of sex — modern dating (and technically not-dating) comes with a whole host of nebulous terms and confusing etiquette. What’s in a situationship? What does a “wyd” text entail? To find out, we asked WashU students how they define the lingo of today’s youth, and came away with a surprising conclusion: of “Iit’s complicated.”.
Hookup:
“Hooking up is sex.” - Joey Zeigler Towey, First-Year
“Could be just making out, but it tends to imply more than that.” - Neela Myers, First-Year
“A make out and beyond.” - William Weinstein, Sophomore
Situationship:
“Exclusive but not exclusive.” - Rachel Fike, First-Year
“There’s aspects of dating, but you don’t want to put a label on it. It’s dating, but not dating. You want to be exclusive, but you don’t want to have a girlfriend. Because if something better comes up, you’re like, ‘Well, I can go get that’.’” - Riley Merrigan, Senior
“Casual dating without labels… if you were talking to people in their mid-30s they would say it’s just like going on dates.” - Katherine Feng, Sophomore
Talking Stage:
“It’s like that limbo between when you first interact with someone and you’re like ‘Ooh, they’re interesting.’ ... So it’s like that limbo period where you’re feeling stuff out with them.” - Joey Zeigler Towey, First-Year
“Texting a lot, not necessarily having defined labels on what your relationship is.” - Lucy Demsky, Senior Icks:
“Boys with navy blue bed sheets.” - Elizabeth Papalotzi, First-Year
“Only child.” - Elizabeth Papalotzi, First-Year
“Really picky with food.” - Joey Ziegler Towey, First-Year
“Flat-brimmed hats or Monster Energy hats” - Riley Merrigan, Senior “Long fingernails.” - William Weinstein, Sophomore
“I’m bad at getting the ick. It’s an odd problem of mine. I need to catch it better.”
- Katherine Feng, Sophomore
“If they were in the grocery store and they pulled an apple from the bottom of the pile, then all the apples fell, and then they had to go … scrambling around the grocery store and pick them up.” - Lucy Demsky, Senior
I know we just met, but what are we?:
“Well, right now, like, nothing. I’m not gonna think about you after this.”
- Elizabeth Papalotzi, First-Year
“Gay.” - Rachel Meyers, First-Year
CLUB PHOTOS
HANNAH LA PORTE, LAUREL WANG | CONTRIBUTING WRITER, SENIOR SCENE EDITOR
SAM POWERS | MANAGING PHOTO EDITOR
Wrap it before you tap it:
How to properly use different types of condoms
PHOTOS BY SAM POWERS WRITTEN
OLIVIA SALINGER
BY
Before opening any condom, always check the expiration date. ------->
Condom (latex/polyisoprene)
3. Place the condom on the head of the penis, and pinch the tip. (This is important because it will leave room for ejaculation)
4. Before rolling it down, ensure it is not inside out. You can place a drop of (water-based) lubricant inside the condom if desired.
5. If the condom is inside out, dispose of it and restart. If not, roll the condom down. Put (water-based) lubricant on the outside of the condom.
6. After sex, remove away from any orifices, tie, and dispose of it.
Dental Dam (latex)
Check the expiration date.
Internal Condom
Open the wrapper with your fingers (not scissors or teeth). 3. Place a small amount of lubricant (water-based) between the anus or vulva and place the dental dam on.
Note: Instructions differ slightly when used anally. (made with nitrile and latex free, so can be used with oil-based lubricant)
4. Hold in place during oral sex.
5. Twist three times and pull to remove after sex. Dispose of it.
3. Pinch the ring between your fingers and insert it as far back as possible. Ensure the bag is not twisted inside of you.
4. Hold the outside in place during intercourse.
Note: The expiration date is located on inside flap of package.