How to be Heard - Carers Toolkit

How to be Heard Carers Toolkit

HOW TO BE HEARD TOOLKIT

As an unpaid carer being heard can be extremely difficult and the sense of not being listened to adds to increasing stress and frustration.

This toolkit is designed to provide hints and tips as to how to navigate ‘The System’, providing you with various ways of doing so and helping you to think about how you communicate and how our emotions and thinking influence the way we respond and the responses we get.

“The system isn’t really a system. It comprises of a collection of departments and a range of services… that are supposed to fit snugly together, but don’t always. And when they don’t the carer can fall between the cracks”

Hugh Marriott

The Selfish Pig’s Guide to Caring

What do we mean by ‘The System’?

We mean organisations who are there to support us, such as the Local Authority, NHS, Voluntary Sector. Organisations who can provide the support that you need as an unpaid carer but who we can at times find difficult to speak to and have our voices heard

Why do we need the system, they provide:

•Services

•Aids and adaptations

•Knowledge and information

•Gatekeepers to specialist services

At times it can feel like ‘the system’ doesn’t listen or just don’t want to hear the voice of an unpaid carer but you have to remember ‘the system’ needs you, Why:

•Your skills and knowledge

•You know the person you care for best and can give invaluable information

•You are free!

•You work around the clock

Communicating Effectively

How we communicate can influence the answers we receive and how well we are listened to. How often have you ended a conversation feeling frustrated and annoyed as you don’t think you have been able to get across your concerns, join our carer’s toolkit to chat about ways to be heard and listened to?

If you are not able to join a session here are some factsheets that can help, these have been brought together by Carers Scotland and may help think about how you communicate:

Carers Scotland - How do you Communicate

Carers Scotland - Being Objective

Carers Scotland - How Assertive are You

Emotions and Thinking

Have you ever noticed how much easier it is to ask for something for someone else rather than yourself?

As an unpaid carer we more often than not put the needs of others ahead of our own, we ensure that the person we care for is safe and protected, ensure their dignity and strive to keep them happy. In doing so our emotions can be affected, we can feel anxious, stressed, angry, guilty, all are natural responses to situations we can find ourselves in however it is important that we use these emotions to achieve positive outcomes for ourselves and those we care for.

During our toolkit we will chat about how we can do this, we will have scenarios so we can discuss tips and techniques for managing stressful situations whilst dealing with our emotions.

If you are not able to attend one of our How to be Heard toolkits, there is some information below that may be helpful:

Carers Scotland - How to Manage your Stress

Carers Scotland - Dealing with Anger

Carers Scotland - Dealing with Anxiety

Carers Scotland - How do you see your own needs

Going along to that meeting or taking that call

At our toolkit we will discuss the importance of being prepared, this could include:

•Writing things down that are important for us to say

•Knowing what you want to achieve from the conversation

•Making sure we know where the venue of a meeting is and know how we are going to get there

If you are not able to attend one of our How to be Heard toolkits, there is some information below that may be helpful:

Carers Scotland - Preparing to Negotiate

During that meeting or call

During the toolkit, we will discuss how things can be misunderstood, how we can avoid this; how our body language can say more than the words we speak, how we can be aware of this.

If you are not able to attend one of our How to be Heard toolkits, there is some information below that may be helpful:

Carers Scotland - Behaviours and Body Language

Carers Scotland - Mind Your Language

Conclusion

We hope that our toolkit has helped you to think about how best to have your voice heard and will give you the confidence to speak in that next meeting and to advocate for the needs of both yourself and the person that you care for

More information can be found in Carers Scotland: Being Heard: A Self-advocacy guide for carers

Your carer advisor would also be happy to discuss with you any questions you have about any of the content of this toolkit.