Violet Summer Zine Issue 8

VIOLET SUMMER ZINE ISS. 8 1

© 2020 Violet Summer Zine, All Rights Reserved.

Published by: Mel Writes, LLC

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PANDEMIC EDITION

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Melissa Henderson

Ashley Uzer

Nicole Lockhart

Melissa is the founder of Violet Summer Zine, an international lifestyle writer and businesswoman who currently resides in New York City. She graduated from The George Washington University with a degree in Political Science and has since developed her career working with various publishing platforms, fashion and beauty brands, and writing about her experiences.

Follow her work on www. violetsummerzine.com and on Instagram @melwritesnyc.

Ashley is a writer, artist, and blogger with a focus on affordable fashion, plantbased food, travel, and lifestyle. She also sometimes get on her soapbox and talk about her soberish lifestyle or her obsession with gratitude journals.

Ashley has written for DC Magazine, Galore Media, Bustle, HelloGiggles, VICE, and more. Follow her on Instagram @AshleyGiov

Nicole Lockhart is a writer living in Harlem, NYC. Her first novel, “ nadequate” was self-published in 2014.

She is also an accomplished filmmaker, her visual-poem “All My Black Sons” was an official selection of the Harlem International Film Festival. Her work focuses on the giving narrative voice to our greatest wishes and our deepest fears. Her forthcoming title is a memoir, “Mrs. Putnam & Marcy” and will be published Fall 2020.

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Lauren Amanda Jones

Lauren Arevalos

Raina Asid

Lauren Amanda Jones, a marketing professional in the beauty and fashion industry launched LOVELYLUXE in January 2018. Shortly after moving to Los Angeles in 2015 to pursue her career in beauty and fashion marketing, Lauren became a Los Angeles Laker Girl for the Los Angeles Lakers. From her “almost” daily OOTDs on Instagram Stories, Lauren has built a loyal following who absolutely adore her “lovely luxe” style.

Lauren Arevalos is the owner of Wild Spritz, a organic wellness brand that creates products for the body, mind and spirit. When she’s not making self-care products, she is volunteering at local nonprofits or fostering dogs. Lauren currently resides in San Antonio, Texas. ​

Raina Asid is a graphic designer trying to make the world more aesthetically pleasing one image at a time. She is a consistent creator or some pretty dope illustrations. When is she not infront of her computer, she somewhere deep in The Golden Girls universe.

To see more of her work, follow her on instagram: @asidchronicles

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Collaborators 5

Genny Mack

Aramide A. Tinubu

Nina Singh

Get Fit with gennymack

Aramide A. Tinubu is a film critic and entertainment journalist. Her work has been published in EBONY, ESSENCE, Bustle, The Daily Mail, IndieWire and Blavity. She wrote her master’s thesis on Black Girlhood and Parental Loss in Contemporary Black American Cinema. She’s a cinephile, bookworm, blogger and NYU + Columbia University alum.

Follow her at @awordwitharamide.

Nina’s career began nine years ago in NYC. Though her career began in fashion, upon moving to Los Angeles she moved into the beauty industry where her career propelled. On a quest to understand her dissatisfaction, she began her healing journey. While on this path, Nina uncovered many powerful tools that helped her break free from limiting beliefs, release childhood trauma and become a more confident

classes were founded in 2017 by Genail McKinley, a Certified Group Fitness Instructor, based in New York City. When Genail is not training clients and teaching classes, she is working as a full-time Financial Services Consultant/CPA in NYC Get Fit with gennymack classes bring fun and energetic workouts by using bodyweight techniques to build muscle, cardiorespiratory endurance and agility.

My dream is to own several fitness studios.

Collaborators 6

Features Messages From My Spiritual Guides

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On being Culturally and Religiously Muslim

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Desiree’s Testimony

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The Great Deconstruction

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Zeyi Says

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72 Hours At Paris Fashion Week

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Silk Slip Dress

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Dior Dealer Natasha Fields

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Good Moms Bad Choices

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How To Sext Like A Sex Writer

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Grillz & Granola

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Things That Will Never Be The Same

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My Afternoon With A Princess

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Urban Remedies

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Credits

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Reader Spotlight Oleander @politepoison

VSZ:: Where are you spending your time in quarantine?

Oleander: I’ve been fortunate enough to shelter in place with my family in New York City. We’ve always been close, so it’s been a huge plus that I can be here with my folks during this unprecedented time.

VSZ: What are you grateful for at this moment?

O: In the wake of COVID-19, we have been confronted with the many cracks that exist in the infrastructure of today’s society - ranging from food insecurity to the sheer inaccessibility to healthcare.

Here, the systemic prejudices that have shaped our world have taken center stage. At this moment, I am especially grateful for my current role, which allows me to immerse myself into missions of nonprofits that are steadfastly working to help shape a better world. I am also incredibly fortunate enough to provide my time and monetary resources to support small businesses and efforts that I believe will move the needle towards a more inclusive and equitable world.

VSZ:What habit would you like to develop after the lockdown is over?

O: While quarantined, I’ve realized that much of my time is spent out in public. In NYC, there are countless distractions and the FOMO is too real!

Post-lockdown, I’m actually looking forward to finding solace indoors where I can recenter myself and curl up with a good book or write a few songs if I wanted to.

I think it’s important to cultivate healthy relationships with the public and private spaces we occupy.

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VSZ:How are you keeping busy?

O: I’ve been spending my time cooking, reading, and looking after those dear to me. It’s taken a few weeks to find my footing in this new normal, which is understandable as we’re navigating a collective traumatic experience under varying circumstances.

However, these actions keep me somewhat centered.

I’ve also found solace in deepening my meditation & yoga practice and tending to my urban jungle.

I’ve also found solace in deepening my meditation & yoga practice and tending to my urban jungle.

VSZ: What are you watching right now?

O:I’m obsessed with Killing Eve - so that’s been fun to watch! Also, now that the hype has simmered a bit, I might watch Game of Thrones. However, most nights, I wind up watching reruns of Living Single. Final plug, Parasite is a brilliant film that I highly encourage everyone to watch! You will not regret it.

VSZ: What VSZ story is your favorite?

O:I was a big fan of Issue 7! I particularly enjoyed How She Hacked into the Tech Industry. There is a need to bridge the gap and further streamline ways for black, brown, and underserved communities to access technology with ease. This has arguably become more apparent in the midst of COVID-19 with students having transitioned from a brick-and-mortar to the virtual classroom. I was excited to learn more about Idalin’s venture with TechActivist.org and her mission to provide working-class youths and activists with access to technical training and political education.

VSZ:Are you spiritual? If so, what aspect have you embraced or has helped you get through isolation?

O: I am spiritual. For me, meditating and expressing gratitude have been helpful. It gives me a chance to hone in on my experiences, regardless of whether or not these feelings are positive, anxious, or some combination of the aforementioned. I acknowledge these sensations as they pass through my body because these feelings are all valid, and I’ve learned that denouncing one feeling in preference for another, can lead to inner turmoil. We all have so much to learn about ourselves, it’s important to start somewhere.

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Messages From My Spritual Guides

By: Melissa Henderson

It took me forever to finally sit down and write about my take on spirituality because the truth is, I didn’t know where to start. I didn’t know how far back I should go, so I’ll take it back to a few weeks ago where an omen showed up on my apartment doorstep. A small red book entitled “The Go-Giver” was sitting on my doormat, I was coming home from a latenight meeting with “The Harlem Trio, “ and was feeling exhausted from the day and had just smoked my second cigarette. It was the beginning of March, the coronavirus seemed more like a rumor and I had just returned from Paris. I noticed the book instantly and knew it was a sign from the universe. It was as if I knew it was some type of context clue because my eyes focused on the slightly bent page, the way I bend my pages of paperbacks to hold my reading place. My eyes immediately went to these words on page 12, and it said, “what you focus on is what you get. Ultimately the world treats you more or less of how you expect to be treated.” In numerology, the number 12 comes down to the number 1 plus 2, and three is the trinity. When I asked a spiritual practitioner about this incident during my akashic records reading she told me I should be focusing on keeping myself grounded because there’s a disconnect between who I am on the outside and what’s going on on the inside. I had come to this akashic records session, at the end of a workday drained from meetings. In retrospect, I probably should have rescheduled because of the mental state I was in but I’m glad I went into that session looking like a hot mess. I needed answers. At this point, I was seven days into quarantine and felt like I was running a marathon that I had not trained for before. In all of my dehydration glory, I tapped into my spiritual guides, the heartbeat of my intuition, this is what it said: They told me I wasn’t taking care of myself, I hadn’t combed my hair in days. Told me to watch my back for those people that feel like decaying trees. Like a vessel that I keep filling up with my energy, only for it to keep spilling out, baby girl that’s no god. I see two paths for you, one that is awesome and the other that’s no good.

If cleanliness is next to godliness, then I am a Swiffer wet jet, cleaning up the spills in my heart with words. Jamming to the rhythm & blues, afro beatin’ and washin’ an endless sink of dishing, checking my reflection on my shiny kitchen faucet. I felt the attitude of my ancestors, falling asleep to the sound of Toni Morrison on Create TV at 3 am.

Every day it’s the same, I wake up and make my bed, say a prayer to the most-high for getting me through another day, on lockdown.

Stay grounded, connect with the soil, enjoy the simplicity of going on a walk alone. Listen to the wind and imagine the water, the beach, let your light be as bright as the lighthouse on sunset boulevard. They carry messages of bravery, hope, trust, and love.

Protect your magic, redirect your sexual energy to what’s real.

I am art. I am loved. I am worthy of it. I am enough. I am enough. I am enough.

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On Being

Culturally and Religiously Muslim By: Hiba Abdul

VSZ: What is your religion? Where are your parents from?

Hiba Abdul: I’m Muslim, I’m from Ethiopia.

VSZ: What have you learned from the Quran? or other books?

HA: The most important thing that I’ve learned from the Quran is to be of help and service to others.

VSZ: What’s one thing you like about your religion?

HA: One thing I truly love about Islam is the 5 pillars that are very important to me. (Pray, have faith, give to charity, fast Ramadan, and go to hajj aka pilgrimage). I’ve done and continue to do all of those but I have yet to go to Hajj.

VSZ: What’s one thing you believed/learned from your culture?

One thing I truly believe in is God, the creator of all things. I know a lot of people who go into the details when it comes to religion but for me, God is above all else.

VSZ: Do you pray?

HA: I pray every day.

VSZ: What’s something that people wouldn’t know that’s surprising?

HA: I think many people think Muslim women are oppressed because some choose to fully cover up but in the Quran, there are several times where it speaks about how women should be the most respected and honored. My father did exactly that with my mom and me.

VSZ: Fav religious leader?

HA: I don’t have a favorite religious leader because I put all of my faith into God, not another fellow human. Plus, we are all imperfect.

VSZ: Any advice you’d like to give to people thinking about practicing this religion?

HA: If you plan to practice Islam, I would suggest going to a mosque and expressing that you are interested. I’ve literally seen lots of non-muslims come to our local mosque to learn and they are accepted with open arms and knowledge from everyone.

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Desiree’s Testimony The below video testimonies feel all too familiar with that time in college when I explored Greek life but transferred and never went through with the process. I stumbled upon a Youtube video titled “Denouncing AKA” by a southern girl named Desiree Grace. From the title, I knew I had to watch and I didn’t care that it was over thirty minutes of a stranger talking confessional-style into a camera about her Greek life experience. She said ya’ll going to get this testimony one way another! The video was published a few months ago and has already amassed hundreds of thousands of views and has even influenced other Youtubers to share similar stories. “We didn’t understand the severity and context of the oaths when we were making them. No throwing shade,” Grace compassionately reveals to her audience. In two videos on her channel called “Corporate and Cultured,” she explains why she divorced herself from the Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc and the Divine Nine community because she felt it wasn’t Godly. With that introduction, this young woman proceeds to go through the receipts of why she is denouncing an organization that she says is getting in the way of her religion. Hear her testimony about what ruined her social life.

Watch “Denouncing AKA and Greek Life In General” https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=SPdNQWDKCgc

Watch Why I Sotpped The Process: https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=CUlgp6NJ_iE

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The Great

Deconstruction By: Nicole Locklart

In college, I had a particular group of friends who nearly became the entire collegiate experience itself for me. I say nearly because by the end of my three-year undergraduate experience I had completely removed myself from the group, only cordially associating with the gang of friends I used to do everything with. We did the typical all-nighters but instead of studying books, we were digesting the Word of God, praying into the wee hours of the morning, and corporately fasting for breakthroughs or outpourings of the Holy Spirit. There was a gospel choir rehearsal on Wednesdays, church on Sundays, Bible Study on Thursdays, and fellowshipping every day in between. We crusaded the campus with more evangelical fervor than the other Christian groups, who were content to merely gather a few times a quarter. We had become known as a Holy mob, unbeknownst to us, and I was at the epicenter dating the golden disciple--the future preacher.

Before undergrad, I wouldn’t say that I had a lot of friends. But rather I always looked to my friends for a sense, not of belonging, but myself. I used the more developed identities of others, trying them on like lumpy sweaters masking whatever felt most like myself though less-accepted. Yet, in this misguided path toward selfdiscovery, I have always feared group mentality. My high school pastor at Point Harbor Community Church in southern Virginia made a joke once that I never forgot. “Christians tend to group up. And once they’ve accepted you into the fold, it becomes an us four and no more mentality.” I imagined a group of Christians all linked in arms, heads huddled in the center, feet dancing, keeping a fifth person from entering into their ranks--or worse their churches. I saw the same beginning to happen with me and my friend group, becoming notorious not only for the cliquish behavior but also for prudence, and judgment, and self-righteousness. Having compassion on whom we wanted to have compassion and putting ourselves in the seat of mercy or salvation. When I saw that I was being heralded for the kind of behavior I had always despised in others, I tore down the walls of piety, broke up with my boyfriend, and began a journey of deconstructing my spirituality. Holding my beliefs with an open hand instead of a swinging fist.

My kind of people always existed on the fringes of society. In a true Christlike example, he who ate with the sinners and tax collectors, I find little good in 13

Photo by Sophie on Unsplash

exclusivity. In college, I satisfied my curiosity in a philosophy class where I connected with a friend through freedom of thought. She and I both were campus tour guides-where we were encouraged to welcome all--and shared a love for musical theater.

A few years ago, after the dust had already begun to settle on our graduation caps, I noticed a change in her Facebook, and though we had lost touch since graduating, I could tell that I was witnessing a monumental shift in her life and the lives of those around her. She came of age in purity culture and though her faith experience was well-loved by her, Brenna began to question some of the beliefs around homosexuality. Her budding deconstruction was met at first with shame and often dismissed by her Sunday counterparts. Yet there remained a love for God and a desire for ministry, which led to better responses to her questioning in seminary. Thanks to the internet, she was able to find similarly-minded people who were practicing Christians and advocates of the LGBTQ community. But it is fine for a minister of the gospel to champion the LGBTQ community and not be Queer herself. Brenna, who is currently in a relationship with cis-gender man, identifies as Queer. In certain terms, she has been asked to pause her ordination in the Methodist church, a goal for which she has studied and fulfilled many requirements for over the years. She would’ve been ordained this summer.

“Maybe the response would have been different,” she said. “If I was in a relationship 14

with a woman.”

Deconstruction, as defined by the Liturgist Podcast’s Hillary McBride, is pulling apart the stories that we were told to believe. These stories, consequently, are also the ones that without careful examination can pull us apart. It takes careful sifting and thoughtful examination of what it is we have never questioned and yet have held to be true. Every action is the consensus of a belief. Deconstruction is not an excuse to criticize. Although we may find we have criticisms about a belief system, deconstruction is instead an invitation to make clear the way of understanding. It’s the “why” we as children were always searching for when precocious pesterances leaped forward. If our family origins were people of religion, some may have tried to offer placating fillers for the gaps in which faith is designed to be the substance or evidence. But I’ve often wondered, what if faith is the gap some of us need filled?

If we can eliminate the social pressures of spirituality and curiously take a belief system through its evolutionary process, we may find ourselves outgrown or enlightened to new ideals. To those that use the basis of a particular faith as a foundation or starting place for discovering what one believes, there emerges a path of continuation. Religion was never meant to have an ending point of definitive knowing. It is a path that upon reaching its conclusion, will unleash more roads that lead you onward. Spirituality is a process of evolution that does not culminate in revelatory laurels, but rather endless streams perpetual freedom. The only proper response to questions of faith is deeper more resonate questioning.

Home renovation television is still having its moment. We as an American society like to see the tearing down of something old and the reimagining of the same space into something new. Much less popular is the hunting for a new home; or perhaps the more difficult, the building of a home on a plot of land. What we enjoy in our home television shows is I believe evidence of what we experience in our reconstructing.

It’s okay to leave the framework of a home in good enough shape and use it to build the framework of a greater house. As Jesus says, “A foolish man” builds his house on the sand. But he who has a strong foundation can withstand the winds, rains, and waves. When your framework of faith has largely worked for you, there is no need to destroy the entirety of what you believed and build a new one. Similarly, if your spiritual journey begins without a framework for the belief you may find some helpful blueprints in those already constructed.

Perhaps most threatening about deconstructing one’s spirituality and reconstructing your beliefs, is the loss of community. I still think fondly of that first group of friends, the camaraderie of like-mindedness is one that has been a part of human existence since we decided some of us were hunters and others of us were gatherers.

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They’ve all moved on, replacing me with some freshmen who too were looking to belong. Some married--though none to each other--many enrolled in seminary and my ex- is well on his way to pastoring. When I reconstructed my belief system, something I’ve had to do a few times, I risked losing the ability to ever find community amongst people I wasn’t “too this” or “not enough that” for. I’ve been unfollowed by people who treated me like friends, endured the fake smiles, and eventually isolated myself from anyone in the church who couldn’t honestly ask or answer the question “How are you?”

So how do we create communities of thought and belief for ourselves? Some of my Jewish friends have taken the approach of being religious in heritage and in some tradition, but not practicing the tenants overtly in their daily lives. This take-fromit-what-you-need mentality is one way to continue being part of the community of faith without being restricted in your evolution as a spiritual being. For instance, a young Muslim woman is given the personal choice to wear the hijab or not when she comes of age. She may come of age again, choosing to de-veil at a later point in life. It is neither political nor religious, but a personal gleaning from her own beliefs about modesty as freedom of choice. Most Muslim women respect one another in their decision to wear or not wear the hijab. It is as if the collective says, you made the choice that was right for you, and I will make the choice that is right for me. Or maybe we’re all in search of spaces like the prophet Bob Marley speaks of, where “Man is a universe within himself.” and perhaps what we are discovering is not an external God--but to know oneself, or at very least to know what it is that we believe.

Is God okay with our questions? Absolutely. And he/she/it/they also ask questions of us. The conversation between oneself and the Divine is the company we keep on the path. One of my favorite passages of scripture is when Jesus asks his disciples, “Who do you say that I am?” As we continue to evolve in our earthen form perhaps that is the question we are all really seeking to answer. We are seeking to define the person or persons that have inspired this sense of wonder and yet fear in us. It is the fear of God that has erected great cathedrals and sent many a prophet into the desert.

And in that same spirit, we are called to build, to sit with ourselves and our inward ramblings, wandering in the prodigal pilgrimage towards a destination we do not know. And on the unfolding journey may you take comfort in the uncertainty as you ask yourself...

“What do I need on my way to growth?”

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Zeyi Says My ride or die and I planned to meet at 7:30 pm at SOBs Night Club in Tribeca, New York because Zeyi was performing in a showcase hosted by radio personality Miabelle. For any up & coming artists out there, performing at this place is like a rite of passage. I’ve been to this place so many times when I was out here in these streets, so that night was an excuse to relive the days when we were outside, outside. I always get good vibes and meet new connections at this music hall. Zeyi blessed the stage with unreleased tracks that sound like a mix between underground 90s hip hop and modern gospel rap. During his time in quarantine, the up & coming artist is working on his craft, taking virtual acting classes, and is super active in the men’s ministry at Trinity Church. Go inside our FT call.

Violet Summer Zine: How are you spending your days in quarantine?

Zeyi: I enjoy being around people. I need human interactions. So me and Corona are not mixing.

VSZ: Yes me too! So how has it impacted your schedule? I know you were planning on going on tour Zeyi: Yes. SXSW was canceled. It’s so much stuff I haven’t gotten to!

VSZ: What are some of the lessons you’ve learned in the last few months? It seems like your rap style is transpiring into an inspirational rap sound.

Zeyi: I had a whole album release event last February but I was convicted in my heart on my walk with God to not release the music.

It sucked because I had a listening party and I ended up not releasing any of the music. On that 17

mixtape I had a song called “Amen.” I wanted my music to be relatable to the nigga on the bloc to my pastor. I don’t want my parents to cringe because my music is explicit. My music sits in the gap of still being raw and it’s not displeasing to God. It layers to this.

Violet Summer Zine: I’ve been seeing a lot about Trinity posts on your social feeds, tell me about this congregation.

Zeyi: I’m a member and I host two connect groups. I got baptized at Trinity on July 9, 2018. And I started serving on the greeters’ team and now I’m on a growth track team. You learn about God’s purpose in your life through our educational courses that are led by church members. I host a men’s connect group in my apartment on Mondays at 9 pm.

VSZ: And you teach in a ministry!?

Zeyi: Yes, I teach people how to tap into their spiritual gifts. It’s just about speaking in tongues. You can have a spiritual gift of hospitality and those gifts translate to characteristics and personality traits of biblical characters.

VSZ: Did you grow up religious?

Zeyi: I did not. I grew up with my family going to church and getting us out of the house. It was almost like a chore for me.

VSZ: What are your favorite bible verses?

Zeyi: I don’t have a favorite; I’m bad at remembering. But I love the bible stories and what they represent, like the story of King Nebuchadnezzar.

VSZ: Did you have any apprehension from your friends for becoming active in the church?

Zeyi: Yes, any sudden change in what you devote your time to is going to show. And of course, my friends had questions but then I took them to church to experience it for themselves. I’ve learned that those judgemental thoughts were just lies of the enemy. They made me live in a state of concern about what people will think about “this church dude.” However, if you start to notice when you give Jesus your time, talent, and treasure, that’s only going to lift you up.

VSZ: Amen!! Are you releasing any new projects?

Zeyi: I created a brand new project actually. We are waiting to release it and I’m waiting to get back into the studio to finish it.

Follow Zeyi on Instagram for his next move: @zeyisays.

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Paris Fashion Week

By: Melissa Henderson

Paris is a city I’ll never get tired of visiting because of its urban charm and alluring culture. Recently, I’ve felt disconnected from fashion so I made up my mind to attend more international shows and special events. One afternoon, while sitting through a mandatory company meeting, I browsed on over to Google Flights and discovered cheap tickets to Paris. Next thing I know, my middle finger pressed the “Purchase Now” button with no regrets. This was my chance to pull up on a few shows, drink my favorite French wine, and get lost in Le Marais. My first two times in Paris, I was spoiled by the French Government’s hospitality on press trips. This time around, I would be navigating the city of love with my own schedule. Here is what I did, who I met, and what I bought in Paris.

HOTEL CHRONICLES Sometimes, when I travel to places, I don’t really care about my hotel accommodations. But this time, I wanted to stay at a nice hotel even if it was only for a few nights and I wasn’t planning to spend much time in the actual hotel. After many failed attempts of trying to find a hotel more central to the Eiffel Tower on Booking. com, I settled for the Niepce Hotel on the Left Bank. Mind you, I was also traveling with my cousins, who had a completely different agenda during the day as it was their first time in Paris. They wanted to stay at one of Hilton Hotel’s boutique properties, which ended up being one of the only things we agreed to do together. We planned to go to dinner and party together every night. When we arrived at Niepce Paris, it was raining like cats and dogs but once inside, it was an instant luxury and comfortable.

From the fruit water to the small elevator, entering this perfectly lit fancy hotel made my feelings sink into the rain. We’re in Paris! Meanwhile, I kept telling myself I didn’t need a bigger suitcase, so I opted to carry a Chanel garment bag and duffle trying to be cute. Huge mistake! It was a struggle getting to and from the airport. Luckily, as soon as I arrived at that place, the bellhop staff came falling to my heels, ready to answer every one of my needs. We prepaid the hotel so they knew it was real. They did everything you’d want a hotel concierge to do, like escort you upstairs with a mini-tour and followed by your bags, brought by another staffer. They also did a good job receiving my fashion event correspondences and brought them directly to my room upon my arrival on the first day. I can’t tell you how special I felt to receive a fashion show invite in the mail addressed with Violet Summer Zine. This is the part I really enjoy about Paris. They still have time to send letters by physical mail.

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The hotel hallways were long, narrow with oriental style carpeting that made me feel like I was walking through someone’s family house in The Hamptons. Once inside of one of their Standard Deluxe rooms, it felt like I was in Bloomingdale’s catalog.

Every time I uttered something to myself, I felt the word falling inside the velvet crushed gold drapes. The rooms were also soundproof. The bathroom was completely covered in marble, from the floor to the vanity, and the shower, enclosed in glass. The shower in my cousin’s room was completely open! No glass, just a big silver shower head that divided the bathroom in half. There was organic water in the middle fridge.

We also received handwritten notes with mini muffins and juice from the hotel’s general manager. I wish I’d gotten paid to stay at this hotel because I would definitely have better photos. We managed to finesse a full breakfast buffet in our reservation fees. The buffet was the bomb and they had everything, the best of American and French cuisine. They had eggs, bacon, sausage, lots of exotic cheeses and prosciuttos, salami meats, and those tiny french cornichons pickles, croissants, and different loaves of bread! We all came down in our PJs, giggling as we recounted stories from the night before. Apparently, one of us is a heavier sleeper and one of us didn’t get to sleep until 7am, and one of us woke up smelling like monoi oil and cigarettes. All of us were texting french numbers. Which one of us hooked up with an American? LOL Tweet me with your answer!

DINNER AT MIDNIGHT The hotel also served dinner, but of course, we wanted to dine experience Paris as much as possible since it was such a short stay. One night, we ended up having dinner at Chez Janou. It’s a Michelin star-rated bistro. Located on the corner of a small block in the Bastille, we strutted into this lowkey spot at five minutes to midnight and asked to be seated. A French African bartender cleaning the bar area literally sucked his teeth at us and made some gestures to the clock. They were closing.

He was annoyed but in the true French fashion, the lovely hostess still sat us right away. The restaurant was still crowded, too! The table next to us looked like they were celebrating girls night, passing around a bottle of liquor taking shots until it was done. Surprisingly this was the best meal of the trip. I got the risotto, one of my cousin’s ordered the duck, and my other cousin ordered the steak and potatoes entree. I don’t remember if we ordered dessert but our food arrived fifteen minutes later hot and bursting with flavors. I could have orgasmed there but I saved it for later that night. A good meal paired with wine, followed by champagne and good music is the cure for anyone who hasn’t felt what it means to be alive and well.

FASHION HIGHLIGHTS Between eating until my thighs were rubbing together in my silk skirt, I went to a handful of shows that were located all over Paris. I didn’t really care about mapping out my trip, I just put the directions in my Uber app. Turns out that was a bad idea because I spent so much time in the car! On my first day of shows, I spent thirty minutes in an Uber from the hotel to the official site of Paris Fashion Week Palais 21

de Tokyo. Come to find out, I missed the show by an hour. The doors were closed when I arrived and the ushers were not letting anyone go towards the backstage area.

I decided to snap a few photos in front of the Palais de Tokyo entrance while I was there because I knew that all my other appointments were elsewhere around town.

I chalked up missing my first show as a fashion errand and made my way to another show located just four blocks away.

The DIDU collection was shown at the Aux Belles Poules, this eccentric, Art deco Parisian salon that used to be a brothel in the early 1900s. To say the least, this young designer from Antwerp’s Royal Academy and VFiles protégée, brought the attitude in her collection entitled “LiGHT MY FIRE.” There were already people waiting to get into the presentation. The crowd spilled onto the small street and that’s where I ended up meeting Arielle, the model who’s on the cover of Issue 8 and her cousin, who lives in Paris full time. At first, I didn’t think they spoke English, I was just happy to connect with Black girls in Paris. We ended up chatting through the whole presentation.

The collection was futuristic, feminine and the models looked strong in their outfits.

One model reminded me of a gritty race car driver. Several silhouettes were outlined with neon reflective materials, a design commonality within the collection. The designer also played with different textures, like velvet mixes with stretch printed material, and grey fur paired with knitted pants. I imagined these looks could definitely be purchased as separates. The person who dares to wear these full looks could win best dressed at any party. As models came out of a side door positioning themselves on chairs or posing standing up, I could not help but to notice how everyone’s edges were the laid the fuck down. Everything was sleek and put together, yet the ambiance of the presentation was giving me seriously grunge vibes. They were even passing out Heineken beers next to a makeshift DJ booth.

Later that afternoon, I invited my new fashion friends to accompany me to Herme’s Presentation. The three of us caught the Metro at Strasbourg- Saint-Denis. Now, this was Pre-COVID, when people started talking about the virus like a rumor. But I still thought twice about touching the metal bars in a crowded car. It was rush hour and people were commuting home from work. I suspected this because we were the only ones in the train car dressed like fashion kweens. Arielle’s cousin had on this turquoise outfit complete with a beret and big, long black hair. I wish I had a photo of her look!

When we finally arrived at the Hermes Presentation, it was more intimate and like a private showing of their new footwear collection. We were handed lookbooks at the entrance and free to explore the room that was transformed into a forest. Complete with fake trees, huge rocks, and dimly lit, the music was even dramatically existing in the background. The shoes were propped up on the rocks and tree displays. There was also a pretty big stage with a lowered curtain revealing just enough dancing 22

Hermes’ feet. Cupid shuffle anyone? I spotted a few OF fashion journalists in the crowd and mingled with industry people over champagne and fresh cucumber juice.

This presentation was not set up to stay longer than an hour, so we ate as many canapes as possible until we got tired of standing in our heels. At this point, it was time for me to meet up with my own cousins for dinner and the main event, a night on these French streets.

PARTYING TILL THE CLUB LIGHTS COME ON I don’t think we ended our nights earlier than 5am and we ended all up French kissing on the Paris streets. Not together but with our lucky suitors. Charlie was in charge of finding the best hip hop clubs and they were playing Pop Smoke heavy. Speaking of our entertainment of the night, we decided not to go to the Moulin Rouge, but we did end up doing an impromptu tour of a Parisian gender-neutral Sex Spa a few blocks away from a fashion party that gave us free Moet. All I know is we were in an Uber on the way to L’Arc and suddenly my cousin told the driver to pull over in broken French. We hurry out of the cab and to get in front of the place that was essentially closed, but we wouldn’t take no for an answer. We had to buzz on the alarm for like five minutes until the people inside got tired of hearing the ring. All of a sudden, the wooden door we were banging on, slid open. Once inside, it was super warm and I could smell and hear the sound of hot jacuzzis nearby. There was a seemingly friendly guy who appeared to tell us that the club was in fact closed. But I still don’t know why he would let us in?? We were clearly disappointed, you could read it on our pretty brown faces, beat to the gods. There were no customers in our view but this dude still offered to give us a tour of the place. “No phones,” he told us. “No phones, “ my cousin repeated. She was leading the way in these strappy feather-adorned heels.

Suddenly her lace front weave and floor-length fur coat fit in perfectly. I was sure we were in the red light district. I could barely see myself at this point someone could have easily been some foreigner’s sex slave. There was neon lighting the way in the distance. For any freaky spa enthusiasts out there, this would be your naughty escape.

The “Spa attendant” led us up this narrow, cement staircase and when we turned the corner some dude literally popped up from a cot located in a nearby alcove. He was resting. I don’t know if he lived here but we all squealed! We were immediately shushed by our guide but like where did that nigga come from!? I couldn’t take this pseudo porno suspense any longer, even though I lowkey could have fallen asleep, sequestered by my jetlag. As this dude showed us different parts of the spa - the couples shower, the couples jacuzzis surrounded with beds and steam rooms, steamy images flickered in my head, I wanted it now. Basically, picture a Korean day spa but for couples only and anything goes down. By the time we made out this place and on to the next club, it was 2am and I was ready to meet up with my guy for a full-on makeout session on the Parisian streets. Who cared if a corona was looming in our futures, the thought of meeting this dude at Lipstick Bar was enough for me to risk it all.

I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about the huge argument we had over “Carole 23

Baskin” because I didn’t get to go to the Christian Louboutin Exhibition. As I said, I didn’t map out my trip and realized too late that the museum was located an hour from “downtown” Paris. It was our last day in the city and we ended up going our separate ways as soon as we got to the Eiffel Tower. But in retrospect, it wouldn’t of been a memorable trip if everything was perfect.

PARKING LOT We only ended up eating breakfast in the hotel’s living room once and for what it was worth, it was really delicious. Even though I told the concierge at the front desk to wake me up at 9am for breakfast! I didn’t even get a courtesy call. I ended up waking up at 11AM. I know this was a work trip but I needed my rest or else I’d be in bad shape for the rest of the night of partying.

And damn did I play with fire that night. I must have been on my 5th drink at that point when I ordered a house red wine and waited for this guy. When he arrived in the dark, smokey bar, it was on for some reason I forgot about the Paris city traffic, even if I would have taken the train that was located two blocks away from my hotel, it wouldn’t have made a difference in time. I found myself being around Paris, in fact, a good portion of my day was spent in the cab.

I’m not telling this story by order and day of shows because it was such a vibe being over there, several nights of no sleep, partying until ungodly hours of the night. After all, it’s Paris. We barely made it to board with like maybe an hour to spare and we still made it through customs. I didn’t have time to properly shop Duty-Free. Had I known we would have been on lockdown I would have stocked up on so much stuff, cheese, chocolate, jars of jam, Lucky Strikes, French cognac, champagne, skincare, literally everything to endure the Indoors. Instead, I got two boxes of chocolate and boujee honey mustard! Still a vibe though! Anyway, I made it a point to shop at every chance I got since I knew my schedule would be consumed with fashion shows, networking events, and eating and drinking in the nearest brasseries. Seriously they are like bodegas but the kind that doesn’t have cats. RATE THIS STORY

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DC to Paris 28

Brian Lamont @mrbrianlamont Latoya Doyley @ltd_creations 29

The Timeless Satin Slip Dress By: Lauren Amanda Jones

The new go-to closet staple is the ever so sleek and sexy slip dress. This timeless piece is perfect for a romantic Parisian date night out or dinner with the girls after the runway shows. As many of the restaurants and cafés in Paris have an elegant atmosphere, this piece is also perfect for brunch or any other daytime event. The high slit adds the perfect amount of sexy, allowing you to show off a little extra skin while elongating your legs. Satin material radiates against any skin tone. That is always one secret to the glow. The cowl neckline also adds a taste of elegance which keeps the décolletage exposed. Dress it up with a simple and dainty stud necklace, statement earrings, closed-toed or open-toed nude heels, and an elegant neutral-toned fur coat. Dress it down while trading the statement earrings for stud earrings, and the neutral-toned fur coat with a neutral-toned trench coat.

During the warmer months, go casual with an oversized light washed denim jacket and white chunky trainers. Add some arm candy with stacked gold bracelets or a simple gold watch. You can also choose to swap the arm candy for stacked necklaces instead. It is safe to say that the slip dress is perfect for just about any occasion during any time of the year; making this the new go-to closet staple.

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BACHELOR VSZ: What is the one thing you noticed as soon as you got off the plane in Paris?

LAJ: I was in tears. Itt was so beautiful..

There was a peak of the Eiffel Tower in the distance. It was unique, warm, traditional, and charming… We stayed in a boutique hotel.

VSZ: What was the first thing you ate when you arrived in Paris?

LAJ: We went to LULU’s and had pizza and fries.

VSZ: Tell us about some of the shows you were invited to at Paris Fashion Week experience?

LAJ: I went to Sézane that took place in an apartment. I honestly enjoyed meeting the team at Sézane. I also went to Ryan Roche, that was my favorite show!

VSZ:I know Ryan Roche’s team was super sweet, too! They moved us both to better seats! But every seat had good views. What was your favorite restaurant in Paris?

LAJ: Libertino. It was on the list you

gave me!

VSZ: What’s your favorite French words?

LAJ: I learned how to say “Je t’aime Beaucoup.”

VSZ: Is it true, does French kissing originate in Paris?

LAJ: I plead the fifth!

VSZ: Did you go to any cool fashion week parties?

LAJ: No. VSZ: What was your favorite sight-seeing activity or museum?

LAJ: We went to the Off - White Exhibit.

It was in a small boutique.

VSZ: Hotel or BnB? LAJ: Hotel VSZ: Croissant or Crepe?

LAJ: Crepes…

VSZ: Espresso or Latte??

LAJ: I don’t drink coffee, I never had coffee in my life. I drink tea.

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Natasha Fields NN Officiel Vintage It all started with a Dior saddle bag for Natasha Fields, the owner of NN Officiel Vintage. She purchased a classic saddle bag with silver hardware secondhand and sold it for triple the price she paid for it. “When I first started collecting, the people I would buy from didn’t want it because it was old and they didn’t know the treasures they were giving away.” During Paris Fashion Week, Fields showed her coveted pieces at a pop-up shop. I saw the flyer on her client’s IG page, and added it to my agenda. I tried on a pair of white nylon Dior surf pants that didn’t quite fit, and Chanel sunglasses from Jean Paul Gaultier’s era. Of course she had several Dior Saddlebags in pristine condition positioned artistically on a brick wall. The Dior archivist with over a decade of experience in France, her eye for fashion treasures has attracted a stable of affluent It girls, including Victoria Secret model Leomie Anderson, fashion muse Aleali May, and Designer Kristen Noel Crawley. Shop her vintage: https://nnofficiel.com/ and follow @nnofficielvintage on Instagram.

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Hermès Fall 2020 Footwear Collection

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Good Moms Bad Choices Podcast Erica and Milah are two sex-cannabis positive moms who talk candidly about life, love, and the joy of motherhood. When you first listen to an episode of Good Moms Bad Choices podcast, you get the feeling you met these two women before at a hotel bar or a music festival. It’s never a dull moment with these two on the podcast! Each episode is set up like you’re eavesdropping into what’s going on in their lives. You can tune in to the latest episode and still feel apart of the community they have built for over the last two years. The two met at a party after they both realized they had daughters around the same age. “I didn’t have any mom friends at the time,” Erica recalls during an episode of the podcast. “After, I invited Jamilah over for a playdate. Our daughters got along really well!” and the rest is basically over 100 podcast episodes.

What you see is what you get, but you can get more on their Patreon account. There’s this episode where the two ladies are talking about some epic night in some rich white dude’s house and although the episode gets pretty graphic ( apparently sex swing is involved), there are receipts of it all on their Patreon. “Girls you’re too loud! Why don’t you watch Frozen? Yea put on Frozen!” recordings of the two talking to the cutest little toddlers when they get loud and you’re trying to play at some pints of their podcast, like pre-roll. Millennial parenting problems or maybe a fun way to cover up unwanted audio.

One of the first episodes I listened to was their interview with activist Shaun King. At first, I was wondering what the interview will be like as Good Moms Bad Choices is a lifestyle brand. When the interview launched, I was enlightened and entertained. King has two young daughters and their conversation touched on the fact that Martin Luther King Jr. was also a father and activist and the pressure of juggling these two important roles.

Pre-COVID, I was able to meet the ladies of Good Moms at their meetup dinner party event. Twenty random strangers who were all listeners of the podcast showed up on time and were so eager to chat and enjoy a Thursday night, live with the podcasters. I was one of them and connected with some genuinely interesting people. Of course, the conversation went in all different directions and I’m not sure if it was because of the chocolate edibles, a listener baked and shared with us! A younger listener professed her virginity to the table but still gives and receives oral but then turns around adds that her father is the Nation of Islam, a lot of was going on. A set of twin moms were also at the table, and one of the girls had her own set of twins! We passed around a video of her baby twins wiggling under a baby gate. The dinner party ended with the two giving a toast and throwing it back with tequila shots. Tune in for weekly new episodes of Good Moms Bad Choices wherever you get your podcasts. https://www.goodmomsbadchoices.com/ RATE THIS STORY 34

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How To Sext Like A Sex Writer

By: Ashley Uzer

If there’s one thing that’s become apparent to me during quarantine, it isn’t the number of dishes that pile up or how non-ergonomic my desk set-up is, it’s how difficult it is to find someone who can keep up with my sexting.

I’ve always loved sexting, before the term “sexting” was even a thing. When I was about 14 or so, I would “tell stories” to guys in my classes via text message on my flip phone— basically writing teeny-bopper literotica. Half the time they weren’t even guys I was interested in sexually (not that I had even had sex at that age), I just loved getting dirty in writing. Maybe I should’ve known I was destined to be a sex writer from that age, but I didn’t.

Even as an adult, I really enjoy the process of getting to know someone over text (andmaybe phone and Facetime) before meeting them IRL. My ex and I both lived in different states, met via Twitter, and texted for a good few months before meeting in person.

Sure, there are downsides, like if you meet someone IRL and find yourself lessattracted to them physically than anticipated. But for me, I’m better able to express myself honestly through text. And because I haven’t met the person and felt the sexual tension IRL yet, I feel that I’m more myself and less focused on judging if they’re a good date or if I’m being a good date myself.

There’s a good chance you don’t enjoy sexting as much as I do, and that’s okay. But maybe the reason you don’t enjoy it is because you or your partner aren’t very good at it. And, considering the current state of our world, now seems as good a time as ever to improve upon your naughty wordsmithing (and selfie-taking). Here are my words of wisdom.

First, establish consent + trust Obviously, before doing any of the below suggestions, you want to make sure you trust the person you’re exchanging lewd messages and photos with. You also want to obtain consent to share your naughty thoughts with them. If the person you’re texting is responding to your panty-dropping text message novels with a one-word response or emoji, they might not be as into it as you thought, and you should probably take a step back. Likewise, if you’re into something particularly taboo, you might want to put out some feelers to see if they’re down with that before you start going all 50 Shades of Grey on them.

Say what you actually want to say (and do IRL), but step it up If you’re at a loss for words when it comes to sexting—keep it simple, stupid. Instead of saying, “I want to fuck you so hard rn,” take a step back and take it slow (just like you would with real-life sex). Nobody likes an eager beaver who goes straight to penetration and 36

skips the foreplay. You can start with something like: “I wish I could pick you up and slam you against the wall while kissing you and reaching under your skirt to grab your ass.”

Make it personal But, don’t stop there. You’re most likely texting someone that you’ve either already had sex with or planning to sex with in the future, so make it personal to them and your relationship.

Nobody (women especially) wants to receive the same lame lines that a guy feeds to every girl they match with on Tinder. Using the above sentence, you can make it personal by adjusting it slightly: “I wish I could pick you up and slam you against the wall while kissing you and reaching under your little plaid skirt to grab your fat ass.”

Don’t forget about what your partner wants to do (or how they want to feel) To make it even more personal, and simply hotter, take your sexts one step further by not only describing what you want to do, but how your partner wants to feel (or what they want to do also).

“I wish I could pick you up and slam you against the wall while kissing you and reaching under your little plaid skirt to grab your fat ass. Your ass is still sore from last time, but you’re making those little noises I love, and your panties are sopping wet, so I know what you want more.”

A lot of men I sext with have problems with this part, so pay attention to how you sext. It’s obviously great to say what you want, but notice what your partner responds with and try to play off of that instead of just shifting to another activity or description in your next message.

Don’t worry about enacting your sexts IRL, let a little fantasy in One of my best friends solely watches gangbang 37

porn, but she’s never even had a threesome (and I’m not sure she even wants to). Just like porn consumption, it’s okay if sexting is more of a fantasy than reality. Perhaps in your late-night sexting stories, you and your partner miraculously have a third that’s willing to indulge in your fantasies, or maybe in sexting-land you’re down for anal. The reason so many of us love porn (or even those corny erotic novels) is because it’s a fantasy and isn’t always realistic. Maybe you’re not actually going to let your partner take you into the bathroom at your office and fuck your brains out, but the image of it will definitely get you both off.

When you can’t find the words, use images (or sounds) Admittedly, I’m biased in my love for sexting because I’m a writer. Maybe you’re less into typing and more into doing, or at least more into visuals than having to create mental pictures. This is where FaceTime Sex comes in, or at least some artfully captured (and/ or filthy) nudes to accompany short and sweet sexts. And, don’t forget the art of the sexy video or voice note, which in my experience are both totally underutilized. Boomerang that booty and change things up every once in a while! I bet your partner would love a voice note of you moaning their name while playing with yourself. This is also a great technology to utilize if you’re self-conscious about sending photos/videos of your naked body—sound is sexy too.

My advice for Facetime sex is to make sure your partner is down before you videocall them wearing your favorite lingerie. If it’s a bad time or they’re not in the mood, the rejection probably won’t make you feel great. Also, feel free to find the best angles, places to prop your phone from, and lighting on your own time before the main event. A friend of a friend swears by propping her phone face down on her ceiling fan and taking her nudes (or Facetime calls) that way for that aerial shot.

Practice, practice, practice I’m not suggesting you send a phallic photo to every girl with “Tinder” as her last name in your phone book (definitely don’t do that), but if you’re stuck inside and bored, why not brush up on your sexting skills? There are plenty of apps to connect with someone who might be down for a little ménage a text, just don’t expect all your sexting to result in IRL encounters due to the peak horniness we’re all at in our self-isolation.

Additional inspiration to craft a good sext: - Tell your partner what you would do to them if you were together right now (the more detail, the better) - Tell your partner what you’re thinking about when you pleasure yourself - Tell your partner what you love (and/or miss) about their body - Tell your partner something that you love that they do during sex, or even a noise or facial expression - Tell your partner about the “highlight reel” of your sex encounters that tend to replay in your head - Send your partner a link to a pornographic video, photo, or work of erotic fiction and tell them it made you think of them/you wish you could some of those things with them - Simply tell your partner that you can’t get enough of them—that’s hot!

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I’m on a spiritual journey and still traveling first class.

-Linnethia “Nene” Leakes

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Grillz & Granola By: Melissa Henderson When you sign up for a trap-aerobics class with Chavonne “Chavo” Hodges and Genail Mckinley from GrillzandGranola, there’s no doubt you’ll get a full-body workout. The music is what keeps you going when the burn in your glutes, thighs, and arms kick in like a tequila shot. Although I lost count of the number of classes I’ve taken with Chavo and Genail, their 20-minute virtual classes are by far the best experience you can give yourself in the comfort of your own home. Go inside our conversation.

VSZ: What’s the biggest change Grillz & Granola has experienced since coronavirus?

G&G: The biggest change we’ve seen is a shift in our approach to fitness. It’s been so exciting! Genny and I (Chavonne) have gone from hosting one or two in-person, weekly TrapAerobics classes to hosting a low-cost workout-from-home program consisting of 5+ workouts per week with built-in reminders to help hold people accountable. From 30-minute TrapAerobics classes to multiple 20-minute trapthemed workouts like Trap Abs, we have cultivated an amazing community of women who all are aiming to leave the COVID-19 quarantine better than how they started.

It’s been nothing but positive vibes and sweat so far.

VSZ: What’s your mission now that we are stuck in this pandemic?

G&G: Our mission has remained the same. We want to reinvent what wellness looks and feels like for women of color via community and vibes, and make it more accessible. If anything, we have been able to make the class even more accessible by going virtual.

VSZ: Has your audience changed?

G&G: We’re seeing our reach expand. We’re seeing lots of new faces and have been working out with more women outside of NYC. It’s been great!

VSZ: How are you keeping your clients engaged during the virtual workout?

G&G: As a start, we ask everyone to turn their cameras on for accountability purposes. It’s motivating to see other people workout with you. On top of that, we start each session with a question or quote of the day, then we make sure to encourage our participants by name while they’re working out. We want everyone to feel seen and comfortable.

VSZ: What goes into choosing the playlist? Do you take song requests? LOL G&G: LOL, we do take song requests/ suggestions! We choose our playlist based on our ability to come up with choreography to each song/ how the song makes us feel 41

when we move to it. It’s half science and half intuitive.

VSZ: Tell us about the Trap Pass?

G&G: Trap Pass is our brand new unlimited class offering. With the Trap Pass Unlimited, you get unlimited access to ALL Workout From Home classes, with the first month being only $25. You save more than 60% of your coins, and receive 20+ live workouts per month, including our signature class TrapAerobics! It’s the best value for those looking for accountability and community in their fitness journey.

VSZ: I heard you ladies are also hosting birthday parties??

G&G: Yes, we do virtual birthday parties and community-based events via Zoom. It’s a turn-up!

VSZ: We are sitting down a lot since we’re all on lockdown, what are some quick moves we can all do by ourselves?

G&G: Some quick moves we like to do are squats, burpees and inch worms. They’re all exercises that target multiple muscles in one movement.

VSZ: What do you hope the G&G community will get out your program?

G&G: Our main hope is that women from the G&G community will walk away from each workout feeling confident about their ability to do it again. We cater to the confident underdogs and women with curves that you don’t see in magazines or mainstream fitness studios.

We hope that they can celebrate showing up, making an effort and feeling seen in every class.

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10 Things That Will Never Be The Same Post Corona It’s virtual first.

While some of us have built entire careers and lives online for the last 2 decades, many of us are just getting used to video calling our medical professionals or better yet, our bosses! All of a sudden the anxieties of talking to someone so intimately yet not familiar with it is easy to slip up and say something regretful.

This meeting could have been a phone call Productivity will be improved for the betterment of everyone’s precious time and energy. Organizing with management software and getting clear with processes will make phone calls feel like board meetings. Office rent will also be thought-about twice if everyone can just work from home.

Virtual workouts are king.

In 2015, I used to manage social media for a company called Ballet Beautiful, who’s business model included selling online workouts to ballet fans around the world. I used to get free classes from Peloton when they first opened their studio in New York. At that time, I remember feeling indifferent about working out from home, but keenly aware of the infinite reach. Post corona, virtual workouts will be more popular and safe as people will realize that community gym memberships are not as decent and clean as they are marketed.

Maintaining 6ft of distance to people is now mandatory.

According to the CDC, social distancing “means keeping space between yourself and other people outside of your home.” Thanks to the outbreak of ‘Rona, everyone knows what social distancing means in every language but it doesn’t translate to everyone doing it. The idea of keeping a distance from people just not a concept in the urban community, synonymous with small living quarters, bodega behavior. But we have to get with the program if it means elbow bumping and raising our hand to hearts as the new greeting. That’s cool too. I tried to do this with this guy I know from the streets and he thought it corny but no hugs, please! Mind you, when this exchange happened, I had on a face mask.

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The Rona’ switching up how we buy clothes.

All of the sudden designers, seamstresses, companies are all about face masks and hand sanitizers and I’m not mad at it. I got my face mask from my cousin, who’s mom is a seamstress for a living and I’ve connected with some entrepreneurs who are selling N95, 5-layer, face masks as a side hustle. I don’t mind getting emails about “WFH style and interior design” because I still use retail therapy as a coping mechanism. Suddenly those furry designer slides don’t seem like a bad idea after all.

There’s a luxury in being home, comfy, cozy, and full. Suddenly shopping for the new Chanel sneakers through your favorite dealer’s Instagram stories is no longer reserved for last-minute purchases, but the only way to see what’s new on the shelves of Neiman Marcus.

I won’t be rushing to be around anytime soon.

The idea of being up close and personal, like on a crowded train, or an airport, does not seem attractive and many of us aren’t going to be rushing to the movie theaters if there’s a paid streaming version option. Early in quarantine, I was listening to this NPR radio interview about a Senegalese businessman who was isolated in his apartment in three months! He didn’t come outside not once, according to the feature. After China lifted its strict stay at home orders, he wasn’t quick to run outside and enjoy the local park. He told this podcaster that he ventured outdoors around 3 pm and got a slice of pizza. If I were him, I’d still be indoors, skeptical to interact with anyone.

The trauma of corona will be felt on multiple levels.

Emotionally drained from even saying, reading, and hearing the word “coronavirus” the trauma of dealing with this virus will forever change our habits. Why is it that the news has to announce celebrities who have tested positive for the virus and broadcast only celebrity deaths due to coronavirus? As the death toll increases by the day and I sit on my couch for another WFH day, it’s daunting to swallow but we have to pay our respects. In New York City, the Empire State Building lights up red every night in honor of the first responders fighting COVID-19. We’ll always wear face masks, we’ll think twice about going to places with large gatherings, the thought of germs will loom in the back of our minds. The thought of being in a dirty bar or a humid concert will feel like a sacrifice more than something we did for fun.

Moving forward, sick days will be treated differently.

I was in a regional meeting when I had to excuse myself because that’s how bad I was coughing up my lungs. I couldn’t stop coughing amongst 10 other people packed in this small, airless room focusing on whoever was talking on the video call. Seemingly ignoring me. If I were to cough like that in public now, I probably would be arrested now that going to Duane Reade requires a mask. I hope we can evolve from the days of going to work or going places in general. I hope jobs can be more compassionate 44

about allowing their employees to take time off, and creating a trustworthy space to do that. In my past positions, I’ve struggled with taking time off due to fear of losing my job or being seen as not hard working. I’ve witnessed colleagues die on the job from pneumonia because they were too late to seek medical help.

Maintaining relationships will require listening, planning and intentionally tuning in We’ll have to try harder to be more present with the person on the other side of the screen because, with all the screen distractions, it will become more difficult to keep up with people’s real true selves. If you’re trying to figure out how to keep grounded, reading emotions and emotional intelligence will be key to successful human interactions post-COVID. Let’s face it, we’ll all be hard at work trying to keep healthy and adapt our new lifestyles to how we want to live our lives individually.

Skin hunger The act of physical, contact-to-contact connections will be forever remembered as a key to survival, existing as a human, and not a privilege. Cuddling will be thought of as a coping mechanism.

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Zoom Trolls Are Invading Our Spaces The reality is that what we put out into the Internet universe is susceptible to being trolled. We live in a world where trolling is normal and with everyone suddenly learning on video chat to maintain their personal and professional relationships. But now we also have to deal with “zoom bombing” and the FBI warning that trolls are attacking religious educational institutions.

Hackers are taking advantage of this influx of video chat users on sites like Zoom and Lifesize. As we’ve written about digital rights in Issue 5, we have a serious problem with dealing with digital privacy. Is it the platform’s responsibility to protect its users, or is it the user’s responsibility? The answer is two-fold. Early this month, when reports of zoom-bombing first surfaced to the public, Zoom’s CEO responded, “I messed up.” All of a sudden an easy to use video chat platform has become a breeding ground for trolls who think they have power through anonymity.

SMH So we’re going to act like Zoom isn’t the professional version of Chat roulette??

Source: https://www.wsj.com/articles/zoom-ceo-i-really-messed-up-on-security-ascoronavirus-drove-video-tools-appeal-11586031129

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Heels In The Fast Lane: My Afternoon With A Persian Princess By: Melissa Henderson The Director of Client Relations recieved a last-minute email request from a dignitary staying at the Mandarin Hotel who needed to get her measurements taken. She was getting a couture dress custom made by a label called Ralph & Russo. The middleaged Princess was in New York for the week visiting from Saudia Arabia. My colleague told me and one of my company’s seamstresses were going to be meeting this person of interest. It was one of the private, on-demand concierge services the company I worked for at that time offered to its VIP clientele. That day was already shaping up to be busy because as soon as I arrived to work, barely able to settle at my desk, there were ten voicemails on my phone and I just emptied it last night before I left! The type of clientele I was servicing left voicemails all the time, some angry and rude. My work style at that type was a mix between functional and professional. I was wearing my signature neoprene miniskirt and sneakers that day, my go-to uniform. However, my last-minute appointment to see this Persian princess called for something a little bit chicer. Luckily, I had a blue dress at my desk that I could throw on! But meanwhile while we organized ourselves, all the experienced tailors were booked back-to-back with bridal appointments. It was almost the company’s wedding season and clients were coming in to get their Vera Wang dresses altered. “No, I’m not moving around my bridal appointments! They are all getting married within the next few weeks. ” Barked the Director of Client Relations about her seasoned seamstresses. I had requested one of the in-demand seamstresses who also happened to be from that area so culturally it just made sense, but no one cared. As a small team handling big clientele, we contemplated canceling on the VIP appointment. Was she even a princess anyway? I thought.

“Okay, fine, we’ll send the new tailor with you.” said the Director of Client Relations.

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“No, she can wait until tomorrow.” The new tailor chimed in.

“No, she’s a Princess. This could be a huge account for us!” I advised.

Hours later, we were in a cab on the way to Columbus Circle, speeding through Central Park, in a rush to be on time. I googled cultural mannerism in the Middle East.

I was a bit nervous to meets someone royal. Sure I saw Coming To America dozens of times. Should I courtesy when introducing myself? A handshake is surely too Western! Was I dressed okay? I was wearing a yellow tweed jacket and closed-toe heels.

We checked into the front desk and they let us know that this person of interest was staying on the 37th floor. We rode the elevator up to the suite and the doors opened to a dark hallway. Our person of interest was renting the entire floor.

A woman in a cleaning uniform appeared out of nowhere too which I announced me and the seamstress. At first, she acted like she had no idea who I was, then I remember saying the word measurement and light bulb went on in her head. The cleaning lady escorted us to an open space living room area that was a part of the hotel suite. Of course, there were million-dollar views of Central Park with smudge-less floor to ceiling windows. We were offered water, soda, and dried mix nuts as we waited for this Princess to make her grand entrance. And, we waited. Thirty minutes rolled by and still no one. Another 15 minutes later, I checked my watch and no one appeared from anywhere. I texted my boss that the Princess hasn’t appeared ye. I was instructed by my boss to just wait since we were charging $500 an hour for this private, lastminute fitting. I decided to go to the bathroom to check out more of the hotel suite.

The bathroom was covered in marble but I found it cute that this person had all these expensive perfumes on the counter for display. Of course, Chanel No.5 and Bottega Veneta were showcased among the most expensive showcased. I didn’t spray anything because I was wearing my perfume but I thought it was still a nice touch to a hotel powder room. After my trip to the bathroom, the cleaning lady ushered us into another room. The Princess was ready to receive us. I greeted her with friendly grin with my hands clasps together in a v shape, my shoulders rose up in excitment. I think the seamstressed bowed.

She appeared in a silk pashmina robe. Her eyes were an almond shape, completely deep brown and hypnotizing to stare at in a gaze. It’s a cliche description to use but also unique in that only real beauty aficionados could probably afford to keep up with her beauty regimens. So, of course, one of the first things we talked about was our eyebrows. She plucks and tweezes hers because they have a natural arch.

“Your eyebrows are perfectly arched! Do you thread, wax?” I asked. “No, I pluck my eyebrows,” The Princess also confessed that she has so much makeup. I shook my head and told her about living with my sister and how we get our makeup mixed up. I almost asked if I could see her collection, but I didn’t want to come across too nosy. So on to business...I asked her what she wanted to measure and she handed me a piece of wrinkled paper with measurements that was sent directly from the atelier.

The measurements were in centimeters. During the fitting, to make conversation, 48

the Princess told me she used to be 38 centimeters in her youth. That was when she was anemic. I shook my head and made all the dramatic sounds of reassurance. From that convo, she launched into a monologue about fashion. She goes...“I love Calvin Klein because his measurements are true to size.” “The lower price point from the CK Collection’s dresses are consistently made a sized up and are comfortable and casual.”

I assumed that was her stance on modesty and Islamic women. She went on to say “designers in Lebanon are copycats. They make a $10,000 dress into $1,000 replicas that are not as good quality. I don’t know what person she was giving all the shady too but at this time my mind instantly went to fashion fashion collaborations.

We had light conversation about race. “America isn’t liberal.” We were talking about the racist acts of injustice, the the hate for Islam that had been going on in one part of the US. She said she was scared of the KKK, and that Islam is so misrepresented, and so-on and so-on.” I agreed and told her about my favorite book, Reading Lolita in Tehran. Sh told me she hadn’t heard of it. Was she lying?

That seamstress looked at me side-eye through her glasses as she was measuring our royal highness. I guess that was my queue to change the conversation. Google told me not to bring up politics, but here we were. Two educated women doing whatever we wanted. So back to fashion and Kim Kardashian. We talked about body consciousness.

“The Kim Kardashian effect in the Middle East is not seeing the best of its qualities when it comes to beauty here my country.”That’s when I tried to explain to her that it’s not solely Kim K’s fault, it has something to do with their culture mixed with the pressure of social media to look like a perfect Middle Eastern woman. “Yes but all the youth in the Middle East want to look like an Instagram model with super tight clothing now!”She went on to talk about the current culture of anemia and how much of an issue that its becoming and being swept under the rug by the government. Later on my way home, I googled it for fact-checking purposely and found a slew of research about why these women’s stories weren’t being heard.

But the greatest conversation we had was on family. During this time, she offered me a cigarette on her second smoke break of that afternoon, which was my third hour being present with this woman who was traveling on her own. A silence fell over us as we both ashed in a silver standalone sidetray. The seamstress was almost done measuring the Princess. I was recording the measurements in pencil as she annouced the numbers.

I told her I’d love to visit her country one day. She said she’d love to host me. I’m sure she knew I was young and full of curiousity and I told her I haven’t started my own family yet, but she could feel the desire. So she shared with me some wisdom I thought I would share with you in this story. Here’s what she said about raising children: In the first set of seven years, you spoil them. In the second set of seven years, you give them rules and guidance and tell them right from wrong. In the third set of seven years, you become their friend.

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Urban Remedies

Historically, urban communities had to survive using remedies past down from family lineage. The people’s medicine cabinet from the forest holds an endless supply of cures, those that our ancestors used to get well. Homemade tinctures, teas, and smudging incense seem more useful nowadays that we’re all constrained to our living quarters anxiously waiting for elected government officials to cherry pick which private company will save the day with a vaccine. But what happens when we take lessons from the past, clues and cures from our ancestors to get us through the dark tunnel? As researchers learn and share more about the coronavirus, more people are looking for natural supplements and herbs to keep themselves healthy. Especially in urban communities where sea moss has been a popular item to have, but you can’t get it at your local Kruger. Look at that one weird vegan store that sells revolutionary book titles, like Dr. Sebi, on the same shelves as supplements and various other herbs mixed with love and light. If all that we truly are is a reflection of what we eat, it’s time to start feeding our bodies with the good stuff.

Bitter leaf - This derives from an African Congolese plant.

Sea Moss - has antiviral agents and antimicrobial properties that help in getting rid of all kinds of infections Moringa - meaning from the “miracle tree,” known to be as a tea that helps with youthfulness, strong bones, clear mind.

Leaf of Life - Is a plant grown in Jamaica and used by the local community to fight asthma, cold and flu. The leaf can be taken as a tea.

Oil of Oregano: This can also be ingested and has been proven to lower cholesterol levels. The oil can also help regulate candida, which is related to pesky yeast infections.

Elderberry: This flowering plant has several variations and grows from the sambucus tree. Be careful not to eat the poisonous parts of the flower, its berries are used to make a syrup. This elderberry syrup has been used for centuries to treat cold and flu.

Continued on page 52.

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Experiential Reading Event Virtual Journaling on the Mat, Theme: Issue 8 Reading Party : This Journaling on the Mat session will host Issue 8 collaborators and feature guests from the issue. There will be a sun salutation session the first 15-minutes and we’ll spend the next half of the event. I will provide materials through Zoom.com video conferencing. Previous sessions here: https://violetsummerzine.com/events/ MORE ABOUT THIS EVENT: Journaling on the Mat is presented by Violet Summer Zine. The workshop will be dedicated to issue 8’s writers, themes and conversations. The first few minutes are dedicated to a yoga flow to build creativity and ignite energy through the body.

This is followed by a journaling exercise led by VSZ Founder Melissa, who will give instructions based on the theme. The last part of the class is dedicated to listening and sharing. Participants get to share their work in a safe, non-judgmental environment, moderated by Melissa.

WHY: Positive and Effective Mental Health, Brain Exercises, Creativity WHEN: SATURDAY, MAY 2 WHERE WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/VIOLETSUMERZINE TIME: 1PM EST / 10AM PST / 7PM LAGOS TIME

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CREDITS COVER Model: Arielle @aririhz

From Urban Remedies: Stinging Nettle: When you pick this plant from the wild, beware because the stems are covered with needle-like thorns. Use gloves! This plant boasts many benefits including alleviating short term mild skin irritation when used as a tincture.

It’s also good for lower blood sugar which has proven beneficial for people who have type 2 diabetes. Simply boil the leaves in water, add lemon, honey, maybe a tad of pure vanilla extract for flavor.

Sage: Burn this daily or whenever your energy feels off balance. Sage is known to ward off bad energy and keep you grounded. It has natural cleaning agents and people refer to this as smudging your space. As a plant, it supports oral health and makes your brain function better due to its antioxidant properties.

Palo Santo: In spanish, it means ‘holy wood’ and it grows wild in south america with sweet nodes of lemon, pine and oak. When you burn it in its wood form, say a prayer and ask for good fortune and creativity.

FROM PAGE 28 Latoya @ltd_creations • Tulle rainbow dress: @el_nonpareil with Casadei heels • Ankara print jumpsuit @soluadecouture • Ankara earrings @olayemii__ • Denim shorts fit: Latoya brand @ltd_creations, topshop trench, Alexandre Birman boots • All Red two piece @hanifaofficial • Red tulle jumpsuit @shopoyemwen Brian Lamont @mrbrianlamont • Rainbow jacket: @viericheparis • Brown two piece: @el_nonpareil • Ankara print @soluadecouture • Two piece denim fringe @el_nonpareil • Graffiti suit @selena.knights • Bomber jacket @zellafermani • Cropped denim jacket @aimiamagapemiiqkel__ • Extended denim jeans @neirod_ Photographers: @edsonabreu7 @multi_lens_prod @leventstudio

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VIOLET SUMMER ZINE ISS. 4

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