THIRTY ONE: Issue 11 by Victory Church

ISSUE ELEVEN

EDNA ELS

ELMIEN GELDENHUYS

ME2 MAGAZINE

JEANIE ELS

KARA NOTHNAGEL

C O L E T T E VA N D Y K E

F R A N I TA K N U D S E N

#11 CONTENTS P O W E R N O T E 0 1

- Edna Els THROUGH THE DISAPPOINTMENT

- Colette van Dyk F E AT U R E S T O R Y

1 5

-Jeanie Els B O U N D A R I E S I N F R I E N D S H I P

-Franita Knudsen M Y S T O R Y

3 5

- Elmien G eldenhuys HOW IS YOUR HEART?

G O D I S FA I T H F U L

- Kara Nothnagel -Claudia Thorpe W E A R & E AT

Â© This publication is produced by Victory Media for m e 2 M e n t o r i n g J e ff re y s B a y. A l l a rt i c l e s a re w r i tt e n b y members of Victory Church unless otherwise stated. Th i s m a g a z i n e i s n o t f o r s a l e . Fo r f u r t h e r i n f o r m a t i o n o n any of the articles, do not hesitate to email us at me2@victorychurch.org.za Issue 11 - April 2018 me2mentoring.com // victorychurch.org.za

Hi, dear Friends!

WELL, GIRLS. LET’S GET ON WITH IT. IT’S TIME TO GET RID OF THOSE THINGS THAT TRIP US UP.

“Yes indeed, it won’t be long now.” God’s Decree. “Things are going to happen so fast your head will swim, one thing fast on the heels of the other. You won’t be able to keep up. Everything will be happening at once---and everywhere you look, blessings!” (Amos 9:13-15 MSG) In the following pages, as you read these powerful stories from God’s beautiful girls, I encourage you to look for this golden thread… It’s a Time of Acceleration! Acceleration is the act or process of SPEEDING UP to increase, rise, advance, surge, leap forward, etc. I don’t know about you, but during the process of speeding up, we’re bound to get tripped up somewhere, despite the clear word from God to accelerate! It’s then that the ‘weight’ starts pressing on us, and instead of accelerating, we feel as though we are running on a treadmill, stuck in slowmotion reality. Weighed down, entangled, discouraged. Perplexed by sin, guilt, shame, and condemnation in whatever form and shape it deftly masquerades in our lives. Slowing us down, distracting us, and ultimately leading to exhaustion and giving up. Well, girls. Let’s get on with it. It’s time to get rid of those things that trip us up. “Let us strip off and throw aside every encumbrance (unnecessary weight) and that sin which so readily (deftly and cleverly) clings to and entangles us, and let us run with patient endurance and steady and active persistence

the appointed course of the race that is set

along with feelings of ‘never being enough.’

before us.

Before you know it, pride kicks in, and we cover up our insecurity and pain by distancing our

“Looking away from all that will distract to Jesus,

hearts from God and isolating ourselves from

Who is the Leader and the Source of our faith

others.

giving the first incentive for our belief and is also its Finisher bringing it to maturity and perfection.

Sound familiar? Haven’t we all experienced the

He, for the joy of obtaining the prize that was set

fear that people will see through our façade,

before Him, endured the cross, DESPISING AND

causing us to hide in plain sight, naked and

IGNORING THE SHAME, and is now seated at the

ashamed, just like Adam and Eve did all those

right hand of the throne of God.

years ago in the garden?

“Just think of Him Who endured from sinners

And yet, in the midst of our struggles, God speaks

such grievous opposition and bitter hostility

encouragement and freedom to our weary souls.

against Himself reckon up and consider it all

“Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t

in comparison with your trials, so that you may

be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you.

not grow weary or exhausted, losing heart and

You will no longer remember the shame of your

relaxing and fainting in your minds” (Hebrews

youth” (Isaiah 54:6 NLT).

12:1-3 AMPC). I love the fact that “He endured the cross, Regardless of how long we’ve been saved or

despising and ignoring the shame.”

how hard we try, we all miss the mark at times. Thankfully, sin, guilt, shame, and condemnation

According to Hebrew scholars, to ‘despise’

[literally defined as ‘not fit for use’] were dealt

something means to disesteem it, to look down

with on the cross. Thank You, Jesus!

on it with contempt and scorn, to disdain it, or to regard it as unworthy of your attention.

But the enemy continually lies to us, which is why it’s vital that we make a clear distinction between

That’s awesome! Jesus dealt with our pain and

guilt and shame.

shame! He looked down on it and now invites us

• Guilt = “I’ve DONE something bad.”

to see it from His perspective. It’s a done deal.

• Shame = “I AM bad.”

Then God goes even further. Not only has your shame been cancelled, but

That’s why shame makes us feel worthless and unloved. It flourishes in secrecy, judgement,

“Instead of shame and dishonour, you will enjoy

and silence, and causes us to fall into the trap of

a double share of honour” (Isaiah 61:7 NLT).

perfectionism and performance. We grow hypercritical of ourselves and judgemental of others. Then, anger and frustration become houseguests,

Need I say more? You are WORTHY and LOVED!

Edna

AND YET, IN THE MIDST OF OUR STRUGGLES, GOD SPEAKS ENCOURAGEMENT AND FREEDOM TO OUR WEARY SOULS.

COLETTE VAN DYK Photography: Anne Galloway

PROVERBS 30:15-16 SPEAKS OF A FEW THINGS THAT

Jesus and showed me the way through the Word

ARE NEVER SATISFIED… “THE GRAVE, THE BARREN

of God; naturally, but also very intentionally. What

WOMB, LAND WHICH IS NEVER SATISFIED WITH

a privilege to have been mentored and discipled

WATER, AND FIRE WHICH NEVER SAYS, ‘ENOUGH!’” I

by Godly people in my Victory Church family.

AVOIDED THAT WORD ‘BARREN’ FOR SO LONG. WHO WOULD EVER WANT TO BE KNOWN AS BARREN?

These crucial years allowed me to discover for myself who God is and who I am in Him. It

THE DREAM

steadied my insecure heart and filled me with

Some of my most favourite childhood memories

strength and purpose. I was whole-heartedly in

are of my friends and me, then about seven years

love with Jesus. He became not only my Saviour

old, each picking branches from the magnificent

but the Lord of my life, and my paths became

trees behind our boarding school playground.

directed by Him more and more. The love that

These branches would transform into play-homes

God has for me as a person, as well as part of His

for long afternoons of fun and imagination.

church, His bride, was undeniable.

I completely immersed myself into being a ‘mommy’ to my baby Santi.

FINDING LOVE Jesus was the only love of my life for the next

Only a few years later, still very young, I heard

eight years until just before my 31st birthday. I

of a young lady somewhere in the world who

was not an easy woman to woo. After all, I had

learned that she would never be able to bear

been mentored by men and women with strong

children. My immediate thought was that “This is

character, and I knew exactly what kind of man

the worst news one could ever receive.” But at

I wanted. When I met Jurie, I quickly recognised

this point in my young life, my dream of being a

that he was ‘the one,’ and love soon followed.

mommy was still alive and well in my heart. If you would’ve asked me then what I wanted most in

When we set our wedding date, I already

life, I would’ve answered, “I want to be a mom”

imagined that I could be pregnant by our first

(and a wife, of course). Fifteen years later, my

Christmas as man and wife. What a beautiful

answer would be unchanged.

season this was for a young bride. I had no other dream but to be a bride and a mom. This was it.

BEING MENTORED WAS CRUCIAL

I imagined all the exciting ways that I could tell

As a young adult and young-in-the-Lord, I had

Jurie he was going to be a father. The excitement

people around me who modelled life through

of the possibility was like beautiful fireworks

exploding in my heart. Standing in front of the

BROKEN BUT BREAKING THROUGH

mirror and protruding my stomach in the reflection

Over the next few years, menopause symptoms

was a private, almost daily delight in anticipation.

were becoming more and more evident. With each missed period, hope stirred, but eventually,

MEDICAL UP-HILLS

this ‘hope deferred made my heart sick.’

From a young age, I had visited the gynaecologist annually but never experienced anything out

One specific day, a random doctor’s visit ended

of the ordinary. Just after our first anniversary,

up in an emotional disaster. He suspected that I

not pregnant yet, it was time for another visit. I

could be pregnant and left the room to get the

asked the doctor to do the necessary checks on

test results. I started crying for I already knew the

both of us to make sure all was in order. Those

negative outcome. He found me sobbing upon

tests revealed a growth outside of my womb

his return.

that needed to be removed, a minor issue that was quickly resolved with a two-day stay in the

Once home, my husband found me with my heart

hospital.

in pieces. He told me that this cry was different from all the other times of sadness. I then told

With our doctor’s help, we planned the next

him about a distant family member who had

steps toward parenthood and started with

committed suicide several years earlier when

hormone treatments to assist with ovulation. The

she learned that she would never be able to

rollercoaster of emotions and the physically

have children. In her final letter, she said that ‘her

taxing procedures that followed gave me insight

husband deserved a family.’ I was not suicidal,

into true bravery. Several months later, after

but I understood the desperation. I also realized

having spent thousands of rands, the dearest of

that my heart was breaking for Jurie too.

doctors explained to me that my latest blood work indicated ‘early menopause.’ He admitted

I will never forget that precious afternoon. Jurie

that it was a rare condition at my age—I could not

took me in his arms, the sincere man that he is,

hold back the tears. We did not expect this at all.

and he told me how much he loved ME. He said that if he had to choose, he would always choose

The days that followed were filled with heart-

ME. He declared to my broken heart that he did

wrenching tears and every wave of emotion

not marry me for anything other than ME. He told

possible. Life became a bit of a blur. After many

me that it was ME he wanted more than anything.

discussions and prayerful considerations, Jurie

and I knew that, as for medical intervention, this

Looking back, this was a breakthrough moment

was as far as we were willing and able to go.

for me. God used Jurie’s words to speak so clearly

WHEN WE SET OUR WEDDING DATE, I ALREADY IMAGINED THAT I COULD BE PREGNANT BY OUR FIRST CHRISTMAS AS MAN AND WIFE. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SEASON THIS WAS FOR A YOUNG BRIDE.

that this was also His heart for me. He chooses ME!

you will say, ‘Blessed are the childless women,

He loves ME!

the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed!’”

He is a good God, always! I love that this Scripture is in the Bible because THE HEART OF THE MATTER

it shows me that I have other blessings to enjoy,

Throughout this journey, the questions were never

such as:

‘why?’ Knowing who God IS settles it, still. Not

• Our nephews and nieces. We love them, and

having babies is not a bad thing happening to

they adore us.

me. Despite my circumstances, I came to the

• We enjoy the children of our friends, and we

profound realisation that God is always full of

enjoy returning them to their parents after a

goodness and kindness. That is who He is, and He chose me.

sleepover or visit. • Working at a primary school keeps my motherheart filled. I get to nurse scratched knees and

Physical barrenness is something I can now acknowledge because I have the wisdom of knowing that • Being loved and being intimate with God causes fruitfulness in the spirit, without fail. • Life is worth living. • Being who He created me to be is enough, and I am just what the world around me needs. • I am wanted and needed, and I have a purpose.

sad hearts, as well as share in the joys of their victories. • Having young women to mentor as my spiritualdaughters, children of promise, is such an honour (Galatians 4:28). • Mothering and caring for my pets is an absolute joy. • We really value and enjoy the simplicity of our lives. And sleep :-) • Perhaps the greatest blessing is honouring God who granted me the gift of living purposefully

This was the ultimate outcome.

and intentionally, although a broken vessel,

There were many moments of doubt and what-ifs.

as His bride.

Experiencing doubt and being insecure (and all

There are many more blessings in our journey,

the other traps we might fall into) is very much

and we are so grateful to all our friends and family

part of the journey that brings us to the outcome

who have loved us unconditionally throughout.

God has planned. No one’s story is the same, but the journey with God is what brings glory to Him

RANDOM THOUGHTS FOR OTHERS WHO ARE

and hope to others.

SUFFERING Get the elephant out of the room. For many women

Luke 23:9 says, “For the time will come when

walking this road, often the hardest part is facing

DESPITE MY CIRCUMSTANCES, I CAME TO THE PROFOUND REALISATION THAT GOD IS ALWAYS FULL OF GOODNESS AND KINDNESS. THAT IS WHO HE IS, AND HE CHOSE ME.

the world, our families, and our friends in our

align at just the right moment for it to be anything

‘condition,’ or lack thereof. Everyone looks forward

short of a miracle.

to hearing ‘baby news,’ but as time passes, the question is obviously on everyone’s minds.

Deal ruthlessly with jealousy and shame. I once ran into a friend-of-a-friend at the supermarket

Expect people not to understand and even

who had a trolley full of children. I kept the

be insensitive. We often call their questions

conversation noticeably short because I was

‘insensitive,’ or think that the matter is ‘private’

suddenly overwhelmed with emotion, wishing it

and ‘none of their concern.’ And yet, I believe it

was my trolley. That day, God helped me deal

is so important to trust God to overcome the fear

with the shame of not having children. Shame is

and shame of barrenness.

NEVER His heart for us. Today, I can hold my head high and enjoy a trolley full of babies passing by,

Talk to the important people in your life about

and be grateful that mine is full of groceries.

what you are going through. If you want, ask them to help you share insight with the rest of the family

And finally, find reasons to laugh along the

or friends. It will make it easier for everyone and

journey. You will eventually become stronger and

‘get the elephant out the room.’ Not only will it

feel less emotional, and a good laugh goes a long

give an opportunity for much-needed love and

way towards healing and wholeness. Whenever

support, but it will also provide you the space you

we see a toddler tantrum anywhere, Jurie and I

need to process.

always joke that ‘We missed that bullet.’ Having a sense of humour in the middle of the trial is always

Acknowledge what you feel. Be sad and be

a good dose of medicine to the heart. n

angry, but also be quick to take it to God and your loved ones. Try to verbalize what you need when sad or angry, and let those closest to you know. Having a mentor or spiritual mom to whom you can be accountable is a safe place we all need, whatever stage of life we are in. Trust God to help you celebrate when someone is pregnant before you are, and don’t feel guilty when it’s hard. Trust God for ways to appreciate and celebrate the incredible miracle of pregnancy. Learning about fertility helped me understand the magnitude of this miracle. It doesn’t ‘just happen.’ Too many variables need to

Psalm 85:11

Flowers of your faithfulness are blooming on the earth. Righteousness shines down from the sky.

Photography: unsplash

EANIE ELS

“HOW CAN YOU BE ALIVE AND LIVING AND NOT BE ‘ACTIVELY’ PARTICIPATING?” I find it humorous how God works. When God shifts, moves, or speaks in my life, I often do this thing where it’s hard to tell whether I am laughing or crying hysterically. But either way, I know it’s always going to be good! That is, if I listen and obey [insert nervous laughter]. We know that when God speaks, it’s not necessarily going to be an easy or fun task. Often it seems unsettling. I know my palms start to sweat, my heart rate usually shoots through the roof, and worst of all, insecurities and doubts creep in from all directions. Am I right? ACTIVE PARTICIPATION. This has been something I’ve been working through with God over the last several years. If you Google these words, you’ll find the following definitions: • Active: engaging or ready to engage [in physically energetic pursuits]. • Participation: to take part in. God has been challenging me to actively participate in and contribute to my own life experience. Does that seem strange? You’re probably asking the same question my husband asked when I told him about

this, “How can you be alive and living and NOT be

my heart started to harden and shut off. My coping

‘actively’ participating?”

mechanisms began to develop and inevitably played a significant role in moulding me into the

I don’t think there was any one moment, thing, or

young women I was to become.

experience that lead me to take a passive stance in life. I once heard someone say, “You aren’t born

LET’S FAST FORWARD A FEW YEARS. In my last

a certain way. A series of steps, whether positive or

semester of high school, I finally overcame my fear

negative, got you where you are today.”

of sleeping, only to have my mom diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon Cancer. The survival rate statistics

Let me clarify. By no means do I have a compliant

given by doctors were: “a 5% chance of living past

or passive personality. I come from a long line of

five years of the diagnosis.” [Cue eye roll.]

strong-willed (A.K.A. stubborn), dynamic women with huge hearts. I like to believe that I am well-rounded.

Standing firm on my ‘fortress of coping mechanisms,’

However, I found myself in a state of being where

I took one look at my dad and asked him: “Is she

I’m not always intentional with how I live my life. In a

going to die soon?”

way, I just let life ‘happen’ to me.

He said, “No.” I said, “Okay.”

LET’S WIND BACK AND START AT THE BEGINNING. I was born in Pretoria, South Africa, into a loving

I decided, then and there, to not occupy my life

family. We attended church on Sundays, loved God,

with worrying. I would continue living life as though

and practiced Christian values. In 2002, my family

nothing had changed. This wasn’t a decision made

immigrated to North Battleford, Canada, or as I

from of a place of great faith, by the way. This was

like to refer to it, The Middle of Nowhere, Canada.

me ‘taking a pass’ on dealing with anything that

As an 11-year-old, I did not adapt easily to this

could potentially disrupt the ‘fortress of coping

big change. A month before the move, I started

mechanisms’ securing my heart.

having trouble sleeping. Fear manifested, rooted in a deep sense of uncertainty. I became afraid of

VARSITY WAS NEXT. Overachiever in high school,

the darkness. This continued for several years, and I

most unmotivated individual in varsity, attending a

found myself a seasoned teenager sleeping on my

program my mom had to sign me up for. Student life,

parents’ bedroom floor.

hardened heart, one bad decision leading to the next. To be honest, it was probably one of the worst

With such a massive cultural change, it wasn’t

years of my life, but a necessary turning point that

surprising that I also had difficulty fitting in at my

led me towards the path I’m on today. I was only

new school. I struggled to connect with my new

nineteen years old and in a near state of depression,

peers and soon became a victim of bullying. As you

to the point where my parents were suggesting

can imagine, mixed in with crippling little-girl fear,

therapy. I recognized I needed a saving grace.

MY COPING MECHANISMS BEGAN TO DEVELOP AND INEVITABLY PLAYED A SIGNIFICANT ROLE IN MOULDING ME INTO THE YOUNG WOMEN I WAS TO BECOME.

I COULDN’T GO BACK TO THE ‘ME’ BEFORE MY REAL ENCOUNTER WITH JESUS, BUT I ALSO COULDN’T FIND MY WAY THROUGH TO A LIFE LIVED IN VICTORY. I WANTED MORE.

Two of my cousins had done Victory Gap Year, and

THE NEXT FEW YEARS WERE INTERESTING. The best way

their youngest brother was enrolled for the new

to describe them would be that I was stuck in the

year. Long story short, I saw this opportunity to go

in-between. I couldn’t go back to the ‘me’ before my

to South Africa as my saving grace. To be honest,

real encounter with Jesus, but I also couldn’t find my

I wasn’t going for the experience to serve God for

way through to a life lived in victory. I wanted more. I

a year, but I told God that I wouldn’t complain and

wanted to be more. I wanted to live in my God-given

I’d compliantly participate in any required VGY

potential. God’s Word says “He came so that we may

activities. Anything to get away—I needed

have life and have it in abundance—but the enemy

to breathe.

comes to steal, kill and destroy” (John 10:10).

BACKSTORY: Up until my gap year, I had always

Community is so important! Without people to

gone to church with my parents, but I didn’t really

encourage and hold me accountable or a place

get anything out of it. I sang the songs and sat

to grow spiritually, I withdrew once again and ‘flew

through the sermon, but I never walked away with

under the radar.’ I was sitting back and letting things

that feeling that I’d just encountered Jesus. I was

happen to me, not fully persuaded this is ‘life.’

a passive church attendee. It was almost like I put church on the shelf; I wasn’t ready for it.

God often places people around you that help to shape you. [Cue eye-roll again.] He may use friends,

I even decided a few years earlier not to participate

mentors, or even family members. However, since

in communion anymore, not because I didn’t believe

He is the Creator of all things, and He made me and

what the Bible told me about the meaning of it, but

knows my thoughts and actions before I know them,

because I just knew that the value and meaning

He crafted up an extra-special Jeanie-proof plan.

behind it was far too great for it to be a perfunctory [superficial, apathetic] activity. I decided I would

In December 2013, I found myself back in Jeffreys

wait until I was ready. I couldn’t tell you whether I

Bay on a family holiday. Little did I know I’d be

knew what ‘ready’ would look like. I just knew in my

leaving a few weeks later having stumbled into my

heart that when that day arrived, God would shift

future husband. God had exactly the right person in

something and I would know.

mind for me. Someone who wouldn’t take nonsense [no, I don’t have nonsense, but hypothetically, if

By the end of the gap year, ‘I knew that I knew that

someone did, he wouldn’t take it], someone who

I knew’ that something had shifted in my heart. I

would encourage me not to melt away into the walls,

decided it was time to get baptized and start taking

and someone who would continue to love me so

communion again. So, on November 6th, 2011, I

unconditionally it hurts!

was fully persuaded, confident, and excited, and I decided to give my life back to Jesus. [I know what

THEN CAME MARRIAGE. Louis and I got married in

you’re thinking… VGY started in January. Let’s just say

December of 2015 in St. Francis Bay, South Africa.

I had a very thorough ‘thinking-through-this’ period.]

We spent our first two years of marriage in Canada

where I was completing my Master’s in Physical

we often don’t experience real change without

Therapy. God opened miraculous doors to allow

taking an active step of faith. That faith step allows

him to work and stay in Canada with me. God has

God to transform our hearts so that we can change

used Louis in so many different ways to highlight the

our behaviour.

areas in my life where passivity has been ruling and, in that, God has used my husband to reveal who He

It’s reassuring and encouraging when I look back

created me to be.

on my own story, and how evidently I can see God’s hand in every little thing I went through. My sleeping

God intended for us all to dream about our futures,

issues resolved, I started making friends, and it’s

to experience and work through each emotion—

now been almost eight years since my mom was

good and bad. He wanted us to be present, to fully

diagnosed. She’s healthy, fit, and 1-year cancer free!

experience even the most menial of everyday

I’ve learned to become vulnerable and share my

things. He wanted us to share our hearts and lives

heart. It’s incredible to see what God can do when

with people, and most importantly, to diligently seek

we allow Him to work in us!

intimacy with Him. IT’S A NEW SEASON. Louis and I moved back to South Active participation is unique to my journey. It is

Africa in December last year. I closed off my 16-

something I’ve been wrestling with daily and, girl,

year Canadian season and stepped into a new and

let me tell you—IT IS HARD to change. The way I

exciting one here in South Africa! And I finished my

think and respond to different situations has been

Master’s in Physical Therapy!

established and programmed into my mind since I was a little girl. Changing these thought patterns and

I am so excited for the adventure and acceleration

learning to deal with my emotions wasn’t easy. I had

that lies ahead in 2018! Even though I’m not always

to deliberately become aware of what I was thinking,

entirely sure what it is going to look like, or where

taking every thought captive. I had to purposefully

exactly God is taking me, I know that God always

pay attention to what I was learning or what I was

has a far better plan than one I could ever think up

engaged in. I had to force myself to express an

or imagine.

opinion, or even to have an opinion at all. I had to, and continue to challenge myself on a daily basis,

In the same way, I know that it is my privilege and

not to settle for less and remind myself that “I am

honour to be an active contributor to whatever God

fearfully & wonderfully made” (Psalm 139).

lays before me and to not be afraid to step out when He asks me to. He wants me to work hard, invest in

One of the hardest things for me to change was

and love His people, and to fully enjoy the life He has

sharing my heart in my friendships and my marriage.

designed for me! n

Opening up and becoming vulnerable was not easy for me. Overcoming the fear of even the potential of being hurt was a massive challenge. But I’ve realized

Lord, even when your path takes me through the valley of deepe You remain close to me and lead me through it all th The comfort of your love take

est darkness, fear will never conquer me, for you already have! he way. Your authority is my strength and my peace. es away my fear. Psalm 23:4

Photography: unsplash

F R A N I TA K N U D S E N BOUNDARIES IN FRIENDSHIP

NOT ALL KIDS HAVE A SOFT BED TO SLEEP IN,

baby elephant grows up, he is unaware that the

or warm hands to tuck them in at night, or a kiss

rope can’t really hold him down anymore. He

on the forehead to wake them up in the morning

thinks it can because that is what he believed as

for school.

a young elephant. Meanwhile, one little tug on that rope and he will be free.

When you are a child, the circumstances you are brought up in often become your ‘normal.’ To me,

As a little girl, I was tied down by such a rope.

my life was very normal. That is, until becoming

Only seeing my parents once a week made me

a mom of three, happily married and surrounded

a soft target—there was no one there to protect

with so many God-loving people, highlighted the

me against the enemy’s schemes. I discovered

unmet needs of my childhood.

that the daughter of some family friends was also in the hostel (a year older than me), and I

I went to hostel straight after my sixth birthday

was so grateful to have someone that I knew.

in December. I remember the smell of the long,

She became my safe place. My every breath

polished floors, something weird in the kitchen,

depended on her. She was all that I had to keep

and many people looking like giants. The

me safe.

payphone seemed like it was touching the roof. But then the “games” started. She would Even being on my tippy toes did not get my 5¢

manipulate me to study stuff for our “School-

into the money slot. The bells always rang at the

school game”, instead of my schoolwork. She

same time. The shoe polish on our hands was like

would tell me who I could and could not play with

waterproof paint. I remember the grass green

each day. Some days, I was the one who was

bathroom walls and evidence of the lack of toilet

pushed aside. Those days broke me. It made me

paper. The enormous PAO sheets never seemed

feel unsafe and vulnerable. I would do anything

to find their way evenly over the narrow bed

to stay in her ‘good books,’ and right there the

and always ended being pulled off by the Hostel

enemy trapped me. He made me believe that my

Matron, whose long red hair regularly made their

safe place was with a person, that my happiness

appearance in our food. I remember the wet

depended on a person, and that I could only go

pyjama pants that I hid in my cupboard until Friday.

as far as what a person would allow me to go.

And I remember the very long and lonely nights.

I became co-dependant. Life at school was one big co-dependant mess.

It was at this point that I was most vulnerable to the enemy’s schemes for my life. The enemy traps

A few years after school, I found myself in

us by putting certain limitations on us when we

very much the same position. We moved from

are children, almost like the baby elephant tied

Bloemfontein to Cape Town where I knew nobody,

to a rope. Do you remember the story? When that

and I again found myself in a co-dependant

G OD WANTS US TO HAVE HE A LTH Y A N D HON EST R ELAT IONSHI PS. I F THE RE I S ON E T H I N G I K N OW, YOU CANNOT DO LI FE A LONE ! W E N EED F RI EN DS, WE N EE D OUR SI STE RS!

relationship. This time, however, I had given my

boundaries in our friendships. God wants us to

life to Jesus and He started showing me that I

have healthy and honest relationships. If there is

wasn’t powerless—I was big enough to pull the

one thing I know, you cannot do life alone! We

elephant’s rope right out of the ground.

need friends—we need our sisters!

Despite it being one of the hardest seasons of my

Stop pretending. Be real with the people around

life, Jesus began to open my eyes, and I started

you. Allow God to show you how you can shift

hearing His voice. I stood up and say “No!” for

that boundary to His perfect place.

the first time. My whole world turned around when that rope snapped. God sent me real friends,

“The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant

not manipulative ones. Things were going well

places; Surely I have a delightful inheritance”

and my life was beautiful… until that familiar

(Psalm 16:6).

feeling returned. My ‘safe-spot’ was still under construction and it left me feeling vulnerable,

I am so thankful for God’s Word—His plan for our

alone, and rejected.

lives as His children. He is the plumb line, and He shows us how to DO life. His ‘normal’ is perfect.

Only THIS TIME,

He has warm hands and a soft kiss.

• God showed me that it’s not fair to put pressure for your happiness on another human being.

He will never let you down when you are

Other people also go through ‘stuff,’ and their

vulnerable.

stuff cannot determine your happiness. • He showed me not to be presumptuous.

“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you,

•H e showed me that other people also have

for my power is made perfect in weakness.’

limitations that were set when they were young

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about

and vulnerable. They too can be tied to their

my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may

own rope.

rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in

Those limitations can only be exposed when we

persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak,

TALK, when we are open and honest with our

then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). n

friends. And when we lay our cards on the table instead of covering things up, our friends can finally understand the lies we’ve been believing, and we can finally understand theirs. In that way, we can remove the enemy’s limitations, pull up the ropes, and set healthy

THE

FA R AWAY

FIELDS.

C O M E AWAY, M Y LOV E R . C O M E W I T H ME

W I L L R U N AWAY TO G E T H E R TO T H E

F O R G OT T E N P L AC E S A N D S H O W T H E M R E D E E M I N G LOV E .

S O N G O F S O N G S 7: 1 1

Photography: Sherah Krause

ELMIEN GELDENHUYS

SO I THOUGHT MY LIFE WAS PERFECT.

I never was the girl to plan a ‘perfect’ future, but I tried my best to make life as perfect as it could be. I married the man that God had for me and we had a good marriage. We had our ups and downs like all couples do; we travelled a bit, and lost one parent. Pretty much an average story. HEARTACHE About five years into our marriage, we decided to have a baby. We fell pregnant very easily, but then my whole world fell apart. I picked up that my husband was withdrawing from me emotionally, but I easily dismissed the symptoms as “this is just new to him,” or “many new dads struggle in the beginning.” Late in the pregnancy, he confessed to me that he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to do this, that he was sorry we decided to fall pregnant, that he wanted to keep his life the way it was, and that he didn’t want any kids. That night, I experienced my first anxiety attack ever. I sat on the floor, trying to catch my breath, and felt so vulnerable and unsure of what the future held. When our son was born, my husband didn’t bond with him, and I saw our relationship shattering before my eyes. He told me that he was really struggling with this daddy thing. We had a big fight and I can still remember feeling waves of rejection and emotional abandonment. I remember sobbing in the bathroom and struggling to breathe, and feeling so very alone. This person in front of me should have been my safe place, but he just stared at me blankly and said he has nothing more to give. I’d lost my teammate. That day, I experienced my second anxiety attack.

At that point, I still didn’t understand the

our first reconciliation. Sadly, only five days later,

magnitude of what was going on, but the Lord was

he decided that he didn’t want to reconcile

preparing my heart. A few days later while I was

anymore, so he moved out and reunited with the

home with our baby, my husband popped in to

lady with whom was having the affair. Thus started

give me a letter stating that he doesn’t love me

my desert season.

anymore and cannot see our future together. I confronted him and argued that our marriage

THE DESERT SEASON

is worth the fight, that we won’t just give up. I

From the beginning, a godly woman from

asked him if he was seeing someone else, and

my church became my personal mentor and

he looked me in the eye and said, “No.”

counselled me to keep my dignity. There were days I wanted to throw all my husband’s clothes

He agreed to go for counselling, so we contacted

into the street, or shout to the hills what he’s done,

a mature couple in our church who were willing to

but her godly counsel helped me to not make a

meet with us. We talked and cried, repented and

fool of myself.

prayed, and got so many things on the table. One significant thing I remember was that this couple

I continued to hope that our marriage would

prayed that the “Holy Spirit would come and put

survive, but we walked through so many ups and

all facts on the table, to open up everything and

downs. There were times when we were complete

expose all lies.” The Lord already showed this man

strangers, and times when we again tried to

what was going on, but because he was sensitive

reconcile. We drew up divorce papers, then

to the Spirit, he did not confront my husband there

pushed them aside. We talked, then ignored each

and then, but rather stepped back and allowed

other. He never moved back home but stayed

the Holy Spirit to slowly break things open. I left

in several places, sometimes with his ‘girlfriend,’

their house relieved and expectant, thinking we’d

other times alone.

just taken the first step to recovery. Little did I know that a bomb was just about to explode.

I saw how the enemy pulls a veil over someone’s face, and I learnt to trust the gentle nudges of the

Exactly one week later, I found out that my

Holy Spirit. I learnt who my true friends were, who

husband was indeed having an affair which had

the prayer warriors in my life were, and I found

started at the end of my pregnancy. The truth

love and support in my mentor, my mentoring

really does set you free, because in the midst of

group, and my pastors.

the deepest pain ever, just knowing what was

going on was a relief. Our son was now about 2

The next months were long and incredibly painful.

months old, and I had so much trust that the Lord

Sorting, purging, letting go, both physically and

would restore our marriage. I bullied him into

emotionally. I prayed to God for accelerated

giving our marriage a chance, begging him to not

healing, but I didn’t want to take any shortcuts—

throw away five years of marriage and ten years

I was determined to face every emotion. My

of togetherness. He agreed and we attempted

life had to go on as ‘normal,’ even though all I

“I prayed to God for accelerated healing, but I didn’t want to take any shortcuts, I wanted to face every emotion.”

wanted was for the world to stop. At night, I would

not commit to me or a relationship with me.

lie in bed not having enough strength even to pray, so I would just repeat “God is good, God

The day when this reality dawned on me was one

is good” as a mantra over and over. I just didn’t

of the few times in my life where I heard God’s

have any other words available.

voice audibly. I cried out to God that, “I can’t hurt like this anymore. I can’t live my life like this.” I

THE DIVORCE

heard God reply that He “releases me from this

We officially got divorced (in court) when our son

marriage.” Up until that moment, I continually

was about 16 months old. I still find it interesting

fought for my marriage, both physically and

that I measured events by the age of our son

spiritually. That day, for the first time, I turned

and not by the calendar. Even after this official

my heart away from my ex-husband. That day,

divorce, I continued believing that we will get

I got divorced in my heart. And even though I

through this; even though our marriage was over

mourned, I was also relieved. Our son was 22

in the natural, I still held on to it in my heart.

months old.

We attempted one final reconciliation in the

NEW HOPE

months after the divorce, and even went to see a

Again, I praise God for my accelerated healing.

trusted psychologist to help us. This was significant

Two months later, I sat in prayer and made a list of

to me as I can look back today and honestly say

things I would like in my future husband. Not only

that “I did my best.” One day, I want to be able to

was I brave enough to trust again, I asked God

look into the eyes of a young man when he starts

for a new helpmate. I also prayed that God would

asking questions, and tell him that mommy did

take me to a place of wholeness where I wouldn’t

what she could.

‘need’ a mate to fill the gap in my life, but where I could enjoy someone who could complement my

This final attempt at reconciling with my

wholeness. I was cheeky enough to tell God that,

ex-husband taught me the most valuable

“I think I am ready, but I’m happy to wait until You

lessons of all.

send my new husband.”

•W e cannot control another person or choose for them, even if we believe we know best. •O ther people’s choices can hurt us, but we cannot allow ourselves to be a victim. •W e can choose how we react to what happens to us. •W e all have broken pieces and we all make wrong decisions.

My favourite chapter in this story began on my son’s 2nd birthday. I was 1200km from home, celebrating with family, when the Lord crossed my path with Louis, the man who would become my new husband. We had known each other back in school, and attended the same church youth group. Back then, we’d enjoyed each other’s company and had even gone out for a few

I saw that my ex-husband really tried this time

coffees and movies together before both leaving

around, and that helped me. Even still, he could

for University.

“I also prayed that God would take me to a place of wholeness where I wouldn’t ‘need’ a mate to fill the gap in my life, but where I could enjoy someone who could complement my wholeness.”

In that moment, I knew that this was the man that

one of our biggest challenges, but the Lord has

the Lord had picked for me. But the sceptic in me

stretched my tent pegs wider and increased my

couldn’t see how this relationship would work.

capacity more than I ever dreamed possible.

He was also just recovering from the trauma of a painful divorce, and he and his two sons were

I still don’t like the fact that this is my story, or that

happily settled in Roodepoort. And I liked my life

it’s so broken. I never wanted to be a 33-year-

in Jeffreys Bay too much to move there.

old stepmom in a second marriage. But this IS my story, and this IS ME. And above all else, I will

To make a long story short, we connected on

never trade in who I’ve become, who God has

Skype and thoroughly enjoyed getting to know

helped me grow into through this journey. Some

each other again. The Lord was so faithful and

days are harder than others, but we are thriving in

patient, and He continued to show me that

everything because He gives us the strength.

Louis was the one. I began to understand how precious I was to God, and that He cared for what

Coming out of previous marriages and the

I care for. He gave me everything I asked for in

wounds that we carry is certainly a challenge

a man (according to the list I prayed) but also so

when building a new marriage. The enemy is so

much more!

good at playing our previous pain up into this relationship. We have to be vigilant and prayerful

Five months after re-meeting, the Lord told Louis

every second of the day. By grace and only by

to move to Jeffreys Bay, and we got engaged.

grace is it possible!

Four months after that, we got married and became one beautiful family with three sons.

I was recently asked, if I had the choice to allow

And since then, the golden thread of God’s

my ex-husband to erase all the wrong decisions

accelerated blessing on our lives has been

he made, would I take it? My answer was a

evident. We’ve walked through things that I

resounding, “No, definitely not.” If it wasn’t for

am convinced takes other couples years to

this journey, I wouldn’t have all that I now have:

work through.

• Three beautiful sons to whom I get to be

BUILDING A NEW LIFE TOGETHER

• An amazing husband who seeks the heart

‘mommy,’ I wish I could say that we ‘lived happily ever after,’ but it’s just not that simple. Yes, we are

of the Lord first, and loves me more than he loves himself,

happy, but being a combined family requires a

• And I get to love this husband back with

lot of extra logistical administration. Becoming

everything I am, broken and beautiful

a mommy of a 9-year-old without knowing what

pieces alike.

years 1-8 were like for this little human is a big challenge. The same goes for the 5-year-old.

God has truly made everything work together

Guiding three little men through their struggles is

because I love Him! n

L ET T H E DAW N I N G DAY B R I N G M E R E V E L AT I O N O F YOU R T E N D E R , U N FA I L I N G LOV E . G I V E M E L I G HT F O R M Y PAT H A N D T E AC H M E , F O R I T RU ST I N YOU.

P SA L M 1 4 3 : 8

Photography: Sherah Krause

How is your heart?

KARA NOTHNAGEL

DEAREST FRIEND, When sitting down to write this article, all I could think about was writing a letter to a friend. A friend who is tired, worn out and feels at the end of themselves. Or perhaps a friend who has their make-up on and is smiling brilliantly but falling apart on the inside. Perhaps the reason I feel like writing this way is because at the end of last year, my dear friend, that was me. At the end of last year, I was finished and completely crashed. Emotionally, spiritually, physically—I didn’t have any more to give. I was exhausted but couldn’t sleep, emotional but didn’t want to see people, hungry for life but with no appetite for living. When I finally realised the state I was in, I had to do the hard work of learning what had led me to that place, and more importantly, decide what I would do and what I would put in place to make sure that it didn’t happen again. And, no, I’m not talking about quick fixes to treat surface symptoms. I’m talking about deep core changes that needed to be made so that I changed from the inside out.

I have learned so much and so I’m writing to

That’s what being brave is. Even if you feel the

you, with the hope that you will be blessed and

fear, you do it anyway.

encouraged with hope for your own life. I think so often too many of us are either full of In this life, we are constantly bombarded with

faith and nailing it at life, or we are slumped over,

information and messages. What I have noticed

worn out and stagnant because we are overcome

recently is lot of the messages that we receive

with emotion and overwhelmed by life. However,

on social media, in self-help books, and even

I believe real faith means being truly in touch with

sometimes in church sermons are “get up, make-

who you are, how you feel, where you are hurting

up, show up,” “fake it until you make it,” we are

but then bringing those things into the light… and

told we need to press though, keep calm and

then making the decision not to stay there but

carry on.

to carry on. That’s brave. That’s true faith. That’s what it means to be truly in touch with your heart.

And, in part, I agree with that, because I know the

Because, darling one, you have to stay in touch

journey of life is not easy, and we aren’t entitled

with what is going on in your internal world for it

to having it easy. So yes, we must push through…

governs how you respond to the external world.

but… not in ignorance. Not by ignore-ance. We cannot ignore how we feel and call it “having

That is where my work started and has stayed. I

faith”, because it isn’t. Having true faith means we

had to acknowledge that I had lost touch with my

face the facts; we face how we actually feel. But,

heart and decide to find it, feel it, and fight for it

in spite of feelings, we carry on because there is a

again. Even if it hurt—which it did. But, that was

truth that is more real than how we feel.

ok. It was more than ok. It was worth it!

There was one afternoon at the beginning of the

We have to know what is going on inside

year when my son fell while jumping from couch

because:

to couch. He cried and said he didn’t want to

• out of the heart the mouth speaks,

jump anymore because now he was scared. I

• out of the heart flows rivers of joy,

comforted him and said, “You’re my brave boy.

• as a man thinks in his heart so is he,

You can do it.” He then replied to me, “But I wasn’t

• and most importantly, God lives there.

brave, because I cried.” My heart broke, and I got down on my knees so I was eye level with

So, we have to know how to tend to our hearts

him, and told him this truth,

and cultivate life there, because as we tend to our hearts so we tend to the rest of our being. Melissa

“Being brave doesn’t mean you don’t cry. Being

Hessler said this, “Be fully in touch with your heart.

brave means you know it hurts, you know you’re

Fully feel, fully understand the power of lament,

scared, and you feel sad, but you go back and

grief, the full spectrum of emotion—without

you do it anyway.”

losing hope.”

If you are anything like me, you probably wear

There may be many different things for you. The

many hats—wife, mom, sister, friend, employee,

most important thing is that you know what they

mentor, business owner, creative. So, time is often

are and you plan them in so that you don’t lose

an issue. I realised that I had to make time to

touch with your heart. Because when you lose

assess how my heart was, and then make time

touch with your heart, you lose touch with who

for the self-care I needed so that I could wear

you are.

my many hats with peace, grace and authentic enthusiasm. I had to learn to be intentional about

So, dear friend, I’m asking… How are you? How is

releasing time so that I was living from a place of

your heart? Do you know?

overflow, rather than running on empty. Maybe you’re like I was and you don’t know I feel like this is something that is particularly

that you’re running on empty. Can I lovingly

challenging for Christians, because sometimes

encourage you to slow down and get in touch

when we talk about self-care, we fear becoming

with your heart so that you don’t crash? Or maybe

selfish, conceited, or full of self-pity. But that is

you are fully aware of how you feel but are too

certainly not something I am advocating—in fact,

scared to say. Sweet friend, know that it will be

that is something that I can’t stand. Context is

ok. Stopping and getting in touch with where you

everything. What I am talking about is maturely

are at and bringing it into the light is the very best

recognising your legitimate needs as a person

thing you can do, both for you and for the people

with a view of being able to serve those in your

you are serving.

sphere of influence more effectively. I’m sharing this with you so that you don’t feel I am a wife and a Mum and both of those roles

alone, or like you’re the only one, or worse yet

are wonderful. But they require my very best, and

that you have failed. Because you haven’t. You

if I am strung out, overworked, undernourished,

just need to find your heart. And as you do, you

unfit and miserable, I don’t serve my family well.

will find your life again.

True, healthy self-care is about identifying what makes you feel rested, refreshed and alive. It is

Lastly, please know this… You are precious,

about investing in the things that make you feel

valuable, and worth it.

like you again. Some of these things for me are • having coffee with a trusted friend,

With all my love,

•h aving a mini spa time at home followed by

Kara x

clean PJs and a good glass of wine, • going for a run, •b eing alone and uninterrupted, just me, God and no demands, •o r shopping for groceries at my favourite store.

H OW B E AU T I F U L O N T H E M O U N TA I N S A R E T H E S A N DA L E D FEET OF THIS ONE B R I N G I N G S UC H G O O D N E W S. YO U A R E T R U LY R OYA LT Y ! T H E WAY YO U WA L K S O G R AC E F U L LY I N M Y WAYS D I S P L AYS S U C H D I G N I T Y. YO U A R E T R U LY T H E PO E T RY O F G O D รณ H I S V E RY H A N D I WO R K . SONG OF SONGS 7:1

Photography: Sherah Krause

CLAUDIA

LIFE HAS NOT BEEN EASY FOR ME.

Everything changed. One moment I was ok, and

There have been ‘ups’ and ‘downs.’ We all have

the next, I had no feeling on the right side of my

them; that is life. My ups and downs (which are

body, from the top of my head down to my little

mostly health-related) eventually ended in a

toe. I could not speak, I could not write, I could

beautiful story.

not do anything for myself. One day, I was a strong woman, and the next, I had to let my family

At the age of four, I had meningitis. At six, I

and friends take care of me. That was scary.

suffered from epileptic seizures. This meant that I spent a lot of my time in hospitals, having tests

But through it all, I knew I would be ok—I would

and seeing doctors, not playing outside like other

survive. While I was in the hospital and every time

children. This was part of me, and I accepted it.

I closed my eyes, I saw the MOST MOST MOST

So, because I couldn’t play outside, I chose rather

beautiful cloud. So white, so pure, untouched.

to do ballet.

On that cloud sat Jesus, and He was telling me— telling ME—that I would be ok. Over and over

Besides my ill-health, my life was normal. As

again, He told me nothing other than I would be

a child, my parents were there for us. When

ok. I smiled and laughed with Jesus.

I became an adult, I got married, had three beautiful daughters, but then sadly got divorced.

The doctors had to do many tests to find out why

However, I wasn’t the kind of person to stay

I had a stroke. According to them, there was no

down, so I tried my best to make a new life; I met

reason for me to have had a stroke, but I did.

someone, got engaged, and life was fine again.

When the tests came back, they discovered that I have Antiphospholipid Syndrome (APS), an

At that time, I was strong and could do everything

autoimmune disease that provokes blood clots

myself. I created a life that I enjoyed and said,

in the body. It is dangerous but treatable. After a

“I will be happy again.” But even though I tried,

week in the hospital, they sent me home.

life had a go at me. Every time I got on my feet, I got knocked down—again and again and again.

My fiancé at the time was a sales representative,

Then I would go and sit in a ‘corner,’ pull my

and he was on the road from Monday to Friday,

messed-up life together, and try again.

and only home on weekends. I was unable to look after myself during this time which meant

Around my 40th birthday, I accepted Jesus

that the tables were turned. My daughters had

and gave my life to our Saviour. I signed up

to teach me, help me, and be there for me. They

immediately for Bible School, got baptized, and

became the ‘Mom.’ I was angry.

served in the church. I was on fire—I still am. On the 14th May 2013, at the age of 41, I had a

For two years after my stroke, I stayed home

major stroke.

as I couldn’t work. I tried to get back to being

Photography: Esthea Martini and unsplash.com

the old Claudia, the person before the stroke.

speak. My self-confidence grew in spades which

Sadly, the relationship between my fiancé and

gave me the ability to take on more responsibility.

I deteriorated. Our lives were not the same anymore. The more I ran to Jesus, the more my

Before long, I was interviewed and promoted from

fiancé pulled away from me until he eventually

Receptionist to Credit Controller. Since then, God

left me.

also told me to start studying. Long story short, I have now been accepted at a University and

And yet, God has always been there for me. I

am studying to become an Accountant. WOW,

didn’t always recognize this because I thought I

how great is God! He took me with my health

was in control of my life. But even when I was in

problems, learning difficulties, and ultimately

a cold, dark, pit with no light, I experienced His

making a mess of my life, and He turned my life

nearness. He was there for me.

around for HIS glory. All I had to do was surrender to Him and keep my eyes on Him.

The first thing He taught me was that in every storm, there is peace. A tornado has an eye in

It does not matter what your storm is—never ever

the middle where there is no wind or rain, just

give up. Meet God in the eye of your storm and

calmness. The same is true of the storms in our

give Him your life!

lives. When you stand in the eye of your storm, cast your eyes up to God, and He will give you

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;

peace in the middle of it all. He will calm you.

I have come that they may have life and have it

The second thing He taught me was to surrender

to the full” (John 10:10 NIV). n

my life to Him. I was living in George and didn’t want to live there anymore. I was so unhappy. I decided to move to Cape Town, make a fresh start and surrender my life completely to God. The more I surrendered, the more He opened heaven’s doors for me. God provided me with a job as a Receptionist with a national company in Paarl. I was so anxious about it because I knew I had a speech impediment; I would forget words and struggle with big words, especially when I was stressed. The people at this company have been so good to me. Nobody has ever commented on the way I

Photography: Unsplash

WEAR BY NICOLE HONEYWILL

C U LO T T E S Wide leg is back and as the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s biggest advocate for a good pair of skinny jeans, I was apprehensive. Culottes are made to imitate the flow and movement of a skirt, you can buy them high waisted or low rise if thats more your style! They are an incredibly versatile item of clothing that show off movement in a very flattering way. But the best part? They are so comfortable. Culottes were made for heels! Go find yourself a nice pair of mules and own the sidewalk! Wear them with a T-shirt for a laid back, relaxed look or change them out for a button up shirt. Go get yourself a pair and join the trend that has finally got wide leg right! n

Photography: Pinterest

COCONUT CURRY BUTTERNUT SOUP

EAT

B Y A N N E G A L LO WAY

There’s nothing more comforting than a yummy bowl of butternut soup. This recipe spices it up with an indian twist. Not to mention that the coconut milk replacement for the cream is healthier for our bodies. This is also delicious chilled as a starter to any meal. INGREDIENTS: (8-12 (IT’S DECADENT!)

•

1 medium butternut, split seeds removed

•

1 teaspoon garam masala

•

2 tablespoons olive oil

•

1 teaspoon cumin

•

1 teaspoon salt

•

1 teaspoon salt

•

1 cup chopped carrot

•

1 tin coconut milk

•

1 cup chopped onion

•

4 cups chicken or vegetable stock

•

2 teaspoons curry powder

Heat oven to 180°C. Drizzle 1 tablespoon olive oil on butternut squash and sprinkle with 1 teaspoon salt. Place cut side down on cookie sheet. Roast for 30 - 45 minutes (depending on size) or until tender.

Drizzle soup pan with 1 tablespoon olive oil. Add carrots and onion to pot with 1 teaspoon salt. Saute until tender. Add coconut milk and vegetable stock. Add curry powder, garam masala and cumin. Add roasted butternut squash.

Bring to a boil and reduce to a simmer. Simmer, while breaking up roasted butternut squash for 15 - 20 minutes, or fragrant. Use a submersible blender to smooth soup or add to a blender to smooth.

Garnish with some coriander

Photography: Unsplash Photography: unsplash.com