THIRTY ONE: Issue 8 by Victory Church

ISSUE EIGHT

K AT I A A D A M S

R A E LY N N E B L A A K

ME2 MAGAZINE

THERENE NEL

ALISON DU TOIT

EDNA ELS

SHAUNA BLAAK

LAUREN BELL

#8 CONTENTS P O W E R N O T E 1

- Edna Els UNEXPECTED ENCOUNTER

- Lauren Bell THE ROAD TO MY TRUE IDENTITY

-Katia Adams S T I L L H E R E , S T I L L S TA N D I N G

- Raelynne Blaak R E S T O R E D M I R A C L E 3 3

- Therene Nel I ’ M J U S T N O T R E A D Y

- Shauna Blaak A P L A C E , A FA C E A N D A PA C E

- Alison du Toit FA I T H | H O P E | F O R G I V E N E S S

- Almari Muller W E A R & E AT

© This publication is produced by Victory Media for me2 M e n t o r i n g J e ff re y s B a y. A l l a rt i c l e s a re w r i tt e n b y m e m b e r s o f Victory Church unless otherwise stated. This magazine is not f o r s a l e . Fo r f u r t h e r i n f o r m a t i o n o n a n y o f t h e a r t i c l e s , d o n o t hesitate to email us at me2@victorychurch.org.za I s s u e 8 - Fe b r u a r y 2 0 1 7 Cover photography: Katia Adams’ Collection w w w. m e 2 m e n t o r i n g . c o m / / w w w. v i c t o r y c h u rc h . o rg . z a

>>POWERNOTE<<

“I can see clearly now

During my high school years, I got my first pair of

The rain is gone

contact lenses, an event that radically altered my

I can see all obstacles in my way...”

appearance and increased my ‘date-ability’ at

An old hit song that brings back memories

the same time. A sure win that widened my range

on a Monday morning!

of possible suitors and led to meeting ‘the one!’

“What do you see?”

Shortly after we got married, I decided to get

This is a question that has been resounding in my

a pair of ‘emergency’ specs, just in case I ever

heart for a very long time,whether it’s driving past

lost a contact lens. Well, that night, as we settled

the sleepy township on my way to work,or looking

down in bed, I remembered my new specs. So I

out of a high rise hotel room in London over a fog

excitedly got them out of my handbag, put them

filled city.

on, and expectantly turning to my husband, awaiting his comments.

Holy Spirit whispers, “Lift up your eyes and see...” He looked at me with an expression of utter Well, to be honest, the world according to Edna

amazement (horror?) and then burst out

Alice Els can become a bit blurred at times!

laughing… to which I burst out crying! Needless to say, that was the first and last time I ever wore

Allow me to give you a peek into my childhood:

those ‘coke-bottomed babies!’

As a child I had no idea that I was a ‘bit’ visually impaired, that is until after my first visit to the

Soon after, I went for an eye operation. What a

optometrist, that resulted in a very unflattering pair

miracle for me! It was the first time in my life that I

of ‘coke bottom’ glasses that bought my world

could see clearly without any aid!

into focus. You know, ever since I can remember I’ve been “Once I was (almost) Blind, but now I see!”

praying the prayer in Ephesians 1: 17-18

I can relate...

...that He may grant me a spirit of wisdom and

Then CLARITY comes, His Presence washes over

revelation of INSIGHT into mysteries and secrets

me and cleans the windows of my soul.

in the deep and intimate knowledge of Him. By having the EYES of my heart flooded with light,

Polishes it up, so I can see clearly,

so that I can know and understand the hope to

No distortions, but clean PURE eyes,

which He has called me...

That can see accurately That can FOCUS

SEEING, FOCUS, and CLARITY became recurring

That can perceive!

themes that Holy Spirit started unfolding to me, and the still, small voice kept whispering,

The word CLARITY originates from the Middle

“Lift up your eyes and see... What do you see?”

English and means GLORY and SPLENDOR! That sounds like His kind of seeing, thinking and doing!!!

If people can’t SEE what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves; But when they attend

So my friend, what do you see?

to what he reveals, they are most blessed. [Proverbs 29:18 MSG]

Is your vision clear, or does it get clouded and blurred as the sandstorms of life rage about you?

I don’t know about you, but at times my vision becomes blurred, and I have to allow Him to wash

Let’s continue to keep our eyes fixed on Him so

away the dust, the grime, the weariness, and

we may we SEE what He SEES, so that we can

the tiredness that has invaded the cracks of my

THINK His thoughts and DO His Deeds!

soul⎯allowing His Love to wash over and seep into every dry and desperate place.

Much Love

Eds

“Then CLARITY comes, His Presence washes over me and cleans the windows of my soul. Polishes it up, so I can see clearly, No distortions, but clean PURE eyes...”

LAU REN bel l

WE ARE ALWAYS GROWING. Thank God that we

Right then and there, it felt like the carpet was

are always growing and that He never leaves us

pulled out from under me. I had been convinced

where we’re at.

that God was bringing me to Bethel for worship, but if I wasn’t growing my skill, then what on earth

My journey to Bethel was, and will always be, one

was I going for? Despite my disappointment and

of the defining moments of my life. Just the journey

confusion, I packed my bags and headed to

to get there, from the initial idea to finally stepping

Northern California.

off the plane, is a story I will remember for the rest of my life.

To be brutally honest, for the first month I had to force myself to look away from the stage because

My time at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry

jealousy and pride would rise in my heart. I had

was filled with wonder, laughter, tears, and

come face-to-face with myself. Who was I when I

revelation. I encountered God as I would never

wasn’t on stage? Who was I when I wasn’t leading

have imagined I could.

people? Who was I when I wasn’t in the spotlight?

My name is Lauren, and I have always been

I had no idea.

a singer. In fact, it was at Victory Church that I discovered the call on my life to be a worship

I was in an entirely new country, surrounded by

leader---and I worked hard at that. I spent countless

strangers, and I had no idea why I was there. Here is

hours on stage dealing with my fear, learning from

a journal entry from the first couple of days:

the best around me, and stretching my capacity.

“I want my independence back. This is not what

I was in my element. I felt like I had made it. This is

I imagined. I do not feel confident. I do not feel

what I was created for.

called. I have no idea what you’re doing God.” I laugh when I read that now because I didn’t

So when I knew that God was taking me to Bethel,

realise at the time that I was in the perfect place

one of the churches that I consider to produce

for God to move. I was 100% dependent upon

the rawest, most authentic and powerful worship

Him. I had no other point of reference---He was my

leaders, I knew exactly why God was taking me

only constant. I made the decision in my heart to

there… to grow in my worship leading.

‘ride the wave’ and let God do what He wants to do, despite what it may look like or how I feel

Or so I thought.

about it. I had nothing to lose. God was about to move powerfully in my life, and I was going to do

With my application, I also sent in an audition tape

everything in my power to get out of the way.

to be on the student worship team, fully confident that I would be accepted. But when the email

Every day, the student body came together in

came through with the list of the ‘chosen ones,’ I

worship, expectant for God to show up right

scrolled to find my name and eventually reached

there and then; and He always did. I have never

the end of the list. No Lauren. I had been denied.

experienced God like that in any other place to this

day. That level of faith is contagious, and it costs you

doing a bad job of it, but because He wanted ALL

nothing but your dignity.

of my focus and ALL of my affection. He wanted to soften my heart and let a passion for Him be the

The more I surrendered to Him, and the more I kept

thing that drives me.

the ‘Yes’ in my heart towards Him, the deeper the encounters got. The more I experienced Him, the

This is why God brought me to Bethel: to meet

freer I felt, and the more ‘Me’ I felt. I came face-to-

Him and realise who I am to Him. All along, I had

face with His Presence, and all my doubt vanished.

made ‘worship leader’ my identity. I had become fixated on growing my gift, instead of growing my

Every day, God was drawing me closer and closer,

relationship. I was doing it the wrong way around!

and I couldn’t get enough. There were times when His Presence was so weighty, that it felt like my body

Everything flows out of relationship with God. We

was going to explode, that my skin was the only

hear that a lot, but it’s so true. When relationship

thing holding me together.

with God is your number one priority, you can’t help but love people, prophesy over them, lead them in

I learnt the importance of pressing in, of digging

worship, and tell them who their Father is because

your well with God. Everything that you need

you see them the way Father does, and His love for

spiritually, God has given you. But everything that

them overpowers you. It comes naturally!

you want spiritually, you have to dig for. There is always ‘more’ with God, and He wants us to find it.

I realised • That I am a daughter of God, the King of kings!

He constantly spoke Truth into my heart, about who

• That I have royal blood flowing through my veins,

I was, why I was there, and what my future looks like.

• That I carry an authority and power,

The love of God flooded me, and I couldn’t escape

• That I am deeply loved, and

it. My heart, mind, and dreams were all changed;

• That, at any moment, I can turn the affections of

all I wanted was more. My entire perception of

my heart to Jesus and have intimacy with Him.

Christianity was obliterated---I fell in love with Jesus. I found my true identity: I am a daughter before a I finally understood why I wasn’t on stage and in

servant, a worshipper before a worship leader.

the spotlight. Yes, you do feel God’s Presence on stage, and yes, it is exhilarating on stage. But there is

My journey at Bethel changed my life. Not because

something special about being unseen in a crowd,

of the curriculum or the church, but because when

and knowing that no one is depending on you. It

I chose to step back, become vulnerable with God,

gave me the permission I needed to let go and let

and let myself be messy in front of Him, He breathed

God deal with my heart.

His life into me.

I understood why God had taken me off stage; it

NOW I AM FOREVER CHANGED. n

wasn’t because I wasn’t called there, or that I was

N O W YO U ’ V E G OT M Y F E E T O N T H E L I F E PAT H , A L L R A D I A N T F R O M T H E S H I N I N G O F YO U R FAC E . E V E R S I N C E YO U TO O K M Y H A N D , I ’ M O N T H E R I G H T WAY. - P S A L M 1 6 : 1 1 ( M S G )

Photography: Aimee Thompson

Katia Adams The road to my true identity

“I FELT A REAL PRESSURE TO GET THINGS ‘RIGHT’ AND TO MAKE SURE THAT MY BEHAVIOUR FELL IN-LINE WITH WHAT I FELT WAS EXPECTED OF A GOOD CHRISTIAN GIRL.”

I WAS RECENTLY ASKED TO PREACH AT A

teams. When we’re not traveling and ministering,

conference. As I was preparing for my sessions, I

we share full-time care of our boy which provides

felt God tell me NOT to write any new material but

a wonderful opportunity for us to remain firmly

rather to spend all my preparation time reading

grounded. (You can’t stay proud of a preach for

through my old journals. Not an easy thing for me to

too long when you’re elbow-deep in dirty nappies

do as I love to feel well-prepared and in-control of

within minutes after leaving a platform.)

my speaking material. But, once I figured that God must know what He’s doing, I decided to follow His

Our lives are a crazy, chaotic, wonderful mix of

promptings and start reading.

seeing the miraculous outbreak of God to crowds of hundreds and thousands, and then rolling-on-the-

WHAT A REVELATION!

floor playing stacking rings with a cheeky little boy. Both aspects are an incredible privilege.

As I read through well over a decade’s worth of journaling, some themes began to emerge. I

I was born in Iran to a Christian family of rich, revival

realised that, through the years of walking with God,

heritage. In all honesty, I’m not entirely sure when I

He had led me to some milestone revelations that

became a Christian. I have no recollection of ever

have revolutionised my walk with Him. I ended up

not believing in God; my earliest memories are of

sharing these revelations at the conference and

conversations about Jesus, and an assurance in me

would love to share some of them with you in this

that He loves me and I can trust Him with anything

article. I trust that what He’s taught me may ignite

and everything.

fresh faith and courage in your journey with Him. My family moved to the UK when I was five, and I But before I go any further, please allow me to set

grew up in a context of radical faith and love for

the scene…

Jesus. That was the culture of our home, and I’m so incredibly grateful to Jesus for it!

My name is Katia. I’m 33 years old, wife to the wonderful Julian, mama to the adventurous and

Despite such a rich start in God, however, I am now

intensely inquisitive Ezekiel (15 months) and to our

aware that there were some perceptions in me

active little girl who is still incubating inside me (due

about who God is and what He wants of me that

in two months).

fell so short of reality. Growing up, I fully believed in my head that God loves me unconditionally, but

I work full-time alongside Julian heading up our

I’m not so sure that that knowledge invaded my

ministry, Frequenstee Trust, which involves us

heart enough for me to feel totally at ease and at

traveling all over the world to preach and minister

peace. I grew up trying to please those around me

in different churches and conferences, as well

and, most of all, God. I felt a real pressure to get

as providing strategic input to church leadership

things ‘right’ and to make sure that my behaviour

fell in-line with what I felt was expected of a good

During that conference, my head-knowledge of

Christian girl.

His unconditional love sank deep into my heart and became living revelation. It totally, irreversibly

Without realising it, a good measure of legalism

wrecked me and undid in a moment a lifetime’s

mixed into my Christianity---legalism towards myself

need to please those around me. The depth and

(putting a huge burden on me to perform to an

resilience of His love made it unnecessary for me

impossible standard), and legalism towards others

to achieve the impossible standard I felt people

(a self-righteousness I felt if I was ‘outperforming’

required of me.

someone else, accompanied by an intense disapproval of their shortcomings).

1 John 4 says, “Perfect love casts out fear.” Well, encountering His love started to dislodge ‘fear of

This pattern was my reality throughout my teens. But

man’ and ‘fear of people’s perceptions of me’ from

in my twenties, something happened that set me on

my heart.

an altogether different course. I attended a weeklong ministry school led by Catch the Fire Ministries.

He loves me, He loves me, He loves me.

During that week, I listened to teaching that was not so much new in content but rather ignited my heart

It’s not a flimsy kind of love. Not an easily-dissuaded

in a way that had not happened before.

kind of love. It’s an all-consuming, self-sacrificing, fierce love that simply will not be put-off by me or

In that week, I encountered the heart of Papa

my weakness. It’s breathtaking! Even more than

God towards me in a way that I had never before

that, it’s powerful!

experienced. He unraveled me with His kindness and took my breath away with His willingness to

I’m so aware of our need to be thoroughly

walk with me in my weakness. I realised, for the first

convinced of His affection for us. The more struggles

time in my life, that

I’ve faced and disappointments I’ve walked through, the more it has been clear to me that the

REVELATION #1: THERE IS NOTHING I CAN EVER DO

enemy loves to bring into question whether God’s

THAT WILL DISAPPOINT GOD.

heart is really FOR us. Does God really care enough about me in my situation to do something about it?

Disappointment is based on someone or something falling short of expectations. But God has perfectly

I thank God that the revelation of His heart was

accurate expectations of me because He knows

drilled deep into me a few years before Julian

me better than I know myself. He’s never surprised

and I lost our first baby. While that storm raged all

or taken aback by my actions. He has known my

around us, while we were bitterly disappointed and

shortcomings all along, and He is my loving Papa

heartbroken, I’m so grateful that our anchor was

through it all.

“IT’S NOT A FLIMSY KIND OF LOVE. NOT AN EASILY-DISSUADED KIND OF LOVE. IT’S AN ALL-CONSUMING, SELF-SACRIFICING, FIERCE LOVE THAT SIMPLY WILL NOT BE PUT-OFF BY ME OR MY WEAKNESS.”

this stubborn refusal to believe anything other than

This milestone revelation of God’s heart for me was

Papa’s love for us and His commitment to us.

really the catalyst for those that followed. As I came into fresh understanding of who my Papa is and

It was during that dark season that I remember

how He loves me, I stumbled afresh into the beauty

reading the story of Jesus asleep in the boat, in the

of sonship.

midst of the storm, while his disciples were terrified that they would drown. Mark’s gospel tells us that

The gospel is not primarily about a Holy God

the disciples asked Jesus if He cared that they were

changing me from a bad person into a good

drowning. After stilling the storm, His response to

person, which is where we often stop short when we

them was, “Have you still no faith?”

only focus on the doctrine of justification. But rather, the cross and resurrection are about a Father God

I used to read Jesus’s question as asking the

making orphans into heirs; it’s an issue of sonship,

disciples “if they still had no faith that he could

not morality! He’s not interested in behaviour

calm the storm.” But while I was in my own storm,

modification; He’s interested in belonging. His

I realised the true nature of Jesus’s question---He

focus never has and never will be zoomed in on my

was addressing their previous question, “Do you not

actions, but rather His desire is for me to come into a

care?” It wasn’t a question of His ability or power,

realisation of my identity.

but a question of His heart. And as I faced my storm, I realised this is the question that in times of brokenness, we are all asking---not whether God has power, but whether God has heart. It’s in those times of horrible disappointments that Jesus wants to bring us a revelation of Papa’s heart. REVELATION #2: HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME,

Wrapped up in all of this, I came to a fresh love for Holy Spirit. Previously, I had thought that Holy Spirit was mainly interested in convicting me of my actions so that I would live appropriately as a Christian. (This came from my misreading of John 16). Once I discovered afresh the power of sonship and

HE LOVES ME

Holy Spirit’s role in speaking to me of who I now am

He certainly did that for me as I grappled with the

Holy Spirit in my mind. John 16 actually says that

big “why?” of my broken circumstances. Even in

Holy Spirit convicts the unbeliever of sin. He’s not the

my sinking boat, as I tentatively held out to Him

‘control monitor’ of Heaven, running after Christians

my deeply wounded heart, He met with me and

to make us feel bad about our sins. No, He is the

whispered words of love and comfort to me all over

very Spirit of Sonship (see Galatians 4 & Romans 8).

in Christ, I realised that I had grossly misrepresented

again. He surrounded me so thoroughly that the words “He loves me, He loves me, He loves me”

Holy Spirit’s role toward the believer is to convince

became an unshakable reality once again.

us, convict us of our position as sons, and to help us

HOLY SPIRIT’S ROLE TOWARD THE BELIEVER IS TO CONVINCE US, CONVICT US OF OUR POSITION AS SONS, & TO HELP US SEE OUR PAPA INTIMATELY AS OUR ‘ABBA.’

see our Papa intimately as our ‘Abba.’

Have you ever been around people who think that you are wonderful? People who compliment you

REVELATION #3: THE HOLY SPIRIT REVEALS

and seem to see talent and good in you that you’d

WHO WE ARE

not seen before? People like that make us stand taller and more confidently; they make us feel we are

The best way for Holy Spirit to lead us into freedom

somehow shining in a way that we weren’t before.

from sin is to lead us into the revelation of who we really are! Only when we understand who we really

Well, that’s what Holy Spirit does for us! He is

are will the desire to act as anything other than Sons

consistently speaking the best of us and putting His

of God lose its pull over us.

finger on the gold in us. He knows that if we hear Him, we will be empowered to live what He says.

That’s what happened for me. Before I truly

It’s pretty mind-blowing stuff! Suddenly friendship

understood Holy Spirit’s heart toward me, I battled

with Holy Spirit becomes a much more exciting and

with sins that seemed to have more control over

inviting reality!

me than I knew what to do with. I would meet with accountability partners, and we would pray through

And this revelation of my sonship and Holy Spirit’s

our struggles; we would entrust each other with

heart toward me led to another revelation---that

the responsibility to ask ‘how are things going’ with particular focus on our vulnerabilities.

REVELATION #4 – GOD IS ATTRACTED TO MY FAITH, NOT MY PERFORMANCE

Sadly, even when we were most ‘successful,’ all we seemed to achieve was stopping our actions,

The more I see myself as a child in the Kingdom, the

rather than seeing our hearts transformed. We

more I realise that God loves watching me. He gets

never seemed to uproot the desire for sin; we only

so much joy from the process of my growth, not just

modified the outworking of it.

the result.

But, miraculously and amazingly, once I realised

This truth has especially solidified in my heart over

Holy Spirit’s focus in my life---convincing me of my

the last 15 months as I’ve watched my own son

new identity of being Papa’s daughter---I decided

Ezekiel grow. No healthy parent gets frustrated with

I would put my focus there too. As I did that, the

their child as they learn to crawl or walk or talk, all

power of sin cycles that had previously held me

the while faltering and stumbling. When a child

simply ceased to be. Once I began to hear the

learns to walk, no one with any sense assumes that

incredible good that Holy Spirit was saying about

they’ll be successful in their first attempt… or the

me, I found myself empowered with the ability to

hundredth attempt either! It takes countless tries

live in the light of that.

for a child to step out until eventually their stumbles

look more like walking rather than falling, and their

God is not worried or disappointed by the length of

words become intelligible instead of baby babble.

the process, neither is He simply looking for me to perform correctly. But rather, as Hebrews 11 tells me,

But if you look at their parents during this process,

He is pleased by my faith. God is attracted to those

they never once punish the child for falling instead

who take the step, regardless of the quality of the

of taking a successful step. Nor do they scold for

execution!

mispronouncing a word, despite daddy’s great pains to sound the word out correctly. We see

I cannot tell you how much freedom this and the

stumbles and hear nonsensical sounds, but we don’t

previous revelations have brought into my life. I am

think for a moment that the child wasn’t created

suddenly free to press into adventure with Jesus---

to walk or talk, or that walking and talking are gifts

never afraid of the consequences if I fail. I know that

reserved for ‘special’ or ‘super’ children. No.

my Papa in heaven is cheering me on, loving my courage to take a risk and see what happens.

In the natural, we understand the beauty and nature of ‘process.’ Why, then, do we not apply this

I love how Papa delights to lead us into greater

same principle to our attempts at stepping out in

understanding of Him and His heart. And as He does

supernatural life? Why do we set up such impossibly

that, we get to walk into greater depths of freedom

high standards for ourselves, as if our Heavenly

and fullness of life. He really is in the business of

Papa is growing impatient with us as He watches us

moving us from glory to glory. He’s started me on a

stumble, wondering if we’ll ever get it right?

journey that is unpredictable and messy, and slightly crazy at times (!), and yet is so full and so rich… and

He has grace for the process, and so must we.

it’s just the beginning.

Every time we fall instead of walk, our Heavenly

Let me encourage you wherever you are in your

Papa is there to pick us up, dust us off and say,

journey with the Father… His intention is to lead

“That’s ok; we’ll try again tomorrow. You’ll get it

you into even more revelation of His heart so that

eventually---I made you to do this!”

you are further empowered to press on into the incredible destiny He has designed for you. His

No amount of stumbling and failure is proof that we

thoughts toward us are always breathtakingly kind

weren’t made for the miraculous, nor that signs and

and impossibly patient. He isn’t afraid to love us

wonders are reserved for someone other than us.

‘over the top’ and is on a mission to bring us to a full

Each and every one of us carries DNA ablaze with

understanding of His love.

supernatural life, which means we were created with the miraculous in mind.

What an incredible adventure we get to live in! n www.frequentsee.org katiaadams.me

"I AM SUDDENLY FREE TO PRESS INTO ADVENTURE WITH JESUS-NEVER AFRAID OF THE CONSEQUENCES IF I FAIL. I KNOW THAT MY PAPA IN HEAVEN IS CHEERING ME ON, LOVING MY COURAGE TO TAKE A RISK AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS."

R E LY I N G O N G O D H A AGA I N E V E RY DAY A S BEEN DONE.

S TO B E G I N A L L OV E R I F N OT H I N G H A S Y E T - C.S. LEWIS

Photography: Hudson Reed

RAELYNNE BLAAK STILL HERE STILL STANDING

Photography: Hudson Reed

DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE YOU’VE HIT A BRICK wall? You’ve finally made some progress, things

has added so much LIFE and JOY. • I also happen to live in one of the most

are looking up… and then you’re back where

gorgeous cities on the planet; Sydney, Australia.

you were before---gutted and flat on your face?

The beaches, the city streets, the arts and culture---I feel at home.

This past year has been an interesting collision of brick walls and miraculous grace, of bone-dry

Lows…

hard work and undeserved favour. And I’m about

I arrived in the country with no bank account,

to do it all over again because I’m starting my

no savings, and nothing to my name. I worked

second year at Hillsong International Leadership

the worst job of my life with manipulative and

College.

harassing managers, an abusive, harsh work environment, and I often went weeks without pay.

For those who don’t know me, my name is

Just to make ends meet, I even worked 2-3 other

Raelynne Blaak, and I recently completed my first

jobs on the side.

year as a TV & Media student at HILC, and it was the most challenging year of my life. You know

I can clearly remember having only $1.00 in my

that brick wall I was talking about? Yeah. I can

student account for a very long time. I’m not

best describe this past year as a rollercoaster of

alone in these struggles - many of you have

wrenching lows and breakthroughs highs.

gone through similar or worse life circumstances, especially as students.

Highs… • The support, prayers, and encouragement

It’s been full-speed-ahead for over a year now,

that I received from family, friends, anonymous

filled with tough decisions and much sacrifice.

sponsors, and strangers.

If you would’ve told me a year ago that I’d be

• There were moments of supernatural provision and favour that I have never experienced

staying for a second year, I would’ve laughed at you. Like, cry-laughed at you.

before… and it always reminded me of how faithful and grace-filled God is.

And yet, I’m still here. Still standing.

• The roommate, the housemate, and the neighbour---Sydney Bishop, Ellie Sawka, and

So what changed? I did. Put very simply, I am

Faith Briones. These three girls have been part of

not the same person I was when I first arrived in

my journey here from the beginning, and each

Sydney. Despite the challenges, I got the feeling

Photography: Daniel Badake

that I wasn’t finished here yet; there was more to

And this struck a chord in me---I am the one. I am

be had.

the one to step-in and step-up, fearless. No longer that depressed, anxious, and insecure young girl

That deep knowing that God has more for me led

who used to hide. I am the one.

me to transition from the TV & Media stream into the Pastoral stream, from my comfort zone to a

Coupled with Hillsong College’s theme for this

new space which challenges perceptions of my

semester, A NEW ERA, I am encouraged that

leadership and myself… this is my year.

this is indeed a new season and journey of becoming Rae.

I love how Jeremiah 32:19 reads in the Message Bible. “…determined in purpose and relentless in

But here’s the catch:

following through.”

This isn’t just about me (shocker). It’s actually never been about me. I’m here in Sydney,

How incredible that our Heavenly Father

Australia, chasing after God and all He is, and I’m

relentlessly fulfills His promises and purposes. This

quaking in my boots looking at this next year and

Scripture has so framed this new season in my life:

wondering how my introvert self is going to survive

to go forward relentlessly and not hide my face,

in a thriving, extrovert, pastoral environment.

to no longer shy away from the ‘me’ that God is drawing out.

But it’s not about me, is it? It’s about Jesus.

Looking forward to 2017:

I would’ve quit, packed my bags, and flown

Yes, I’m still working those same incredibly difficult

home a long time ago if it wasn’t about Him.

jobs. I’m still serving, and I’m often still struggling,

Every part of me wanted to be done---I wanted to

but I’m still here.

stop working so hard for what seemed so little. I wanted for there to be some way, ANY other way,

The vision for Hillsong Church in 2017 is: I AM THE

for life to be easier.

ONE. What does that mean? It means that WE can be the ones who make a big difference in

In those moments, Hebrews 10:39 (ESV) has held

the world around us. It comes back to what we

my head and heart high.

do every day in our lives, commitments, and our

“But we are not of those who shrink back and are

determination to be a part of the answer.

destroyed, but those who have faith and preserve their souls.”

No, He never said it would be easy. He never said

He is so overwhelmingly good.

it wouldn’t cost you. In fact,

He is real when my knees touch the ground in

Luke 9:23 (ESV) states,

my two feet.

the low places, and real when I’m standing on “And he said to all, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross

A few weeks ago, the Holy Spirit wrecked me

daily and follow me.”

with these simple verses.

We are all called upon to ‘count the cost’ which

You can have it all, Lord

sounds *fantastic-ly spiritual* and exciting until it

Every part of my world

actually happens:

Take this life and breathe on

• when you’re called out of your comfort zone,

This heart that is now Yours

• when you have bills piling up, • when you’re out of food with no grocery money,

Oh the joy I’ve found

• when you have to work multiple jobs to

Surrendering my crowns

stay afloat, • when you have to end that relationship or friendship, or

At the feet of the King .Who surrendered everything (Have it All, Bethel Worship)

• when it seems you can’t possibly go any farther. I am the one. You are the one. Called to I’m not going to lie. Life can suck. But I KNOW

step-up and step-out, determined in purpose

that I know that God is good! And although life is

and relentless in following through. Called out

choppy, unpredictable, and filled with some gut-

of our comfort zones, to lay down our lives, our

punching brick wall surprises, He never changes.

crowns, and our fears… to count the cost.

He is faithful.

He will empower you to say,

He is kind.

I’m still here. Still standing n

He is grace, and mercy, and love.

I am the one. You are the one. Called to step-up and step-out

1 CORINTHIANS 12:25-26

The way God designed our bodies is a model for understanding our lives together as a church: every part dependent on every other part, the parts we mention and the parts we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t, the parts we see and the parts we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t. If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. If one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance.

Photography: Unsplash

R E S T O R E D M I R AC L E THERENE NEL

MY NAME IS THERENE NEL, AND I AM A RESTORED

daughters. Soon after, I gave birth to two more girls.

miracle. I can say this with certainty because I know that, without God in my life, I would’ve been

The next decade saw me serving the Lord, part of

an absolute mess.

a wonderful church family, and also participating in Me2 Mentoring. I had great friends and a

To give a brief overview of my background:

wonderful life. We were one big, happy family…

• I grew up in an average-income home with

or so I thought. Three months after our 10th

parents who often spoke of divorce. • My dad mostly chose alcohol over his family,

anniversary, my husband told me that ‘he doesn’t love me and he wants a divorce.’

and he moved out more than once. (I don’t say these things to dishonor them. Thankfully, God

I was broken. Shattered.

restored both my dad and our family, and we had an amazing relationship right up until he

It was a long road to healing, but I can honestly

went to Jesus two years ago.)

say that God can take broken glass and make

• During my primary school years, I was sexually molested. Like many young victims, I blocked it

a beautiful mosaic masterpiece. He’s into full restoration!

out and was only able to remember it again in High School. • Somewhere through all of this, I got the idea

Had it not been for my church family, mentoring, and accountability during this difficult time, my

that if I were good and did everything right, I

story would have been entirely different. So

would be loved. I never really felt good enough,

often, people go through trials and allow that to

so inevitably, I fell into the trap of religion and

become their new norm; but you are NOT your

performance to find acceptance.

circumstances.

• In grade nine, one of my school friends committed suicide. Surprisingly, this tragic event

I could’ve decided to stay the poor girl who grew

brought about a revival in our school during

up in an unhappy home, or the poor girl who

which I gave my life to the Lord.

was molested, or the poor girl who didn’t reach her potential, or the poor woman who had two

After high school, I studied and then started

miscarriages, or the poor woman whose husband

working. At the age of twenty-six, I fell in love and

left her. But I refused.

got married to a divorced man who had two

I chose rather to believe God’s Word, stand on

And then in 2011, I met the most amazing man.

His promises, and get over myself. I chose to trust

Blinded to his dashing good looks and amazing

in the Lord with all my heart and not lean on my

personality, I decided that I didn’t like him…

own understanding. I chose to acknowledge Him

but I met his eldest daughter and LOVED her

in all my ways so that He could direct my path.

immediately (you need to remember that). His

(Proverbs 3:5-6)

wife had passed away from cancer, and he was raising two girls on his own.

And then I decided to fight. I meditated on Romans 5 for months.

Well, despite my initial reservations, he managed

“And not only this, but [with joy] let us exult

to marry me within seven months! But the

in our sufferings and rejoice in our hardships,

most amazing thing is that both of us are STILL

knowing that hardship (distress, pressure, trouble)

discovering God’s hand in our story! Here are

produces patient endurance; and endurance,

some examples:

proven character (spiritual maturity); and proven character, hope and confident assurance [of

• While I was still going through my divorce, I went

eternal salvation]. Such hope [in God’s promises]

to a mentoring meeting where one of the ladies

never disappoints us, because God’s love has

in our group (a physiotherapist) desperately

been abundantly poured out within our hearts

asked for prayer for one of her clients whose

through the Holy Spirit who was given to us”

wife had cancer and it was not going well. It

(Romans 5:3-5 AMP).

turned out to be this same man. YES, I prayed for my husband during the time his wife was passing

During the time my divorce was being finalized,

away! How amazing is our God!

I went to Zambia with our church, and God overwhelmed me. He showered me with His love

• Remember the Scripture about the locusts? On

and gave me even more promises:

our wedding day, my mind was swirling with

“Listen carefully, I am about to do a new thing,

negative thoughts like, “What are you doing?

Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it?

You don’t know him well enough. You look

I will even put a road in the wilderness, rivers in the

like an idiot.” Suddenly, my dad exclaimed,

desert” (Isaiah 43:19 AMP).

“Oh my goodness!” and we discovered seven locusts between the layers of my dress! I instantly

“I will restore to you the years that the swarming

remembered Joel 2 and realized that God was

locust hath eaten” (Joel 2:25 KJV)

busy restoring what the locust had stolen.

“I chose rather to believe God’s Word, stand on His promises, and get over myself.”

â&#x20AC;&#x153;My husband and I often just smile about all the things God has restored, and is still actively restoring. We discover His hand in everything.â&#x20AC;?

• Remember the miscarriages? God gave me

Isaiah 58:8-12 (AMP) “Then your light will break out

two more children on earth to raise and love

like the dawn, and your healing (restoration, new

because they are now my daughters.

life) will quickly spring forth; Your righteousness will go before you [leading you to peace and

My husband and I often just smile about all

prosperity], The glory of the LORD will be your

the things God has restored, and is still actively

rear guard. “Then you will call, and the LORD will

restoring. We discover His hand in everything.

answer; You will cry for help, and He will say, ‘Here I am.’ … “And the LORD will continually guide

• We were reminded that in her last days, his

you, And satisfy your soul in scorched and dry

wife kept on saying to him that “your wife is

places, And give strength to your bones; And you

a teacher.” They thought the morphine was

will be like a watered garden, And like a spring

confusing her, so they kept on telling her that

of water whose waters do not fail. “… You will be

she was NOT a teacher. She wasn’t---but I am. I

called Repairer of the Breach, Restorer of Streets

believe that God was showing her things about

with Dwellings.” n

me; I cannot wait to meet her in heaven! • Last year, one of the elderly ladies from the church prayer group, came up to him. She was ecstatic and told him how delighted she is to hear that he is happily married and that his wife loves his children like her own. Then she said that, as a prayer group, they had prayed that “his new wife would love his children even before she loves him!” It happened just like that. I stand in awe of God’s grace and goodness. I am hideously, happily married to a God-fearing man who loves and adores me. We are raising four beautiful girls together, and loving two more because they decided not to leave me just because their father did. We are a family.

J E S U S S A I D , “T H E F O O D T H AT K E E P S M E G O I N G I S T H AT I D O THE WILL OF THE ONE WHO SENT ME, FINISHING THE WORK HE S TA R T E D . A S YO U LO O K A R O U N D R I G H T N O W, W O U L D N ’ T YO U S AY T H AT I N A B O U T F O U R M O N T H S I T W I L L B E T I M E TO H A R V E S T ? W E L L , I ’ M T E L L I N G YO U TO O P E N YO U R E Y E S A N D TA K E A G O O D LO O K AT W H AT ’ S R I G H T I N F R O N T O F YO U . T H E S E S A M A R I TA N F I E L D S A R E R I P E . IT’S HARVEST TIME! - JOHN 4:35-36

Photography: Aimee Thompson

Photography: Sherah Krause

I’M JUST NOT READY (WHEN LEADERS FEEL INADEQUATE) BY SHAUNA BL AAK

HER SMS ARRIVED AT THE WORST POSSIBLE

came from one of the leaders I had been walking

moment. All of my ‘balls’ were in the air, and I was

with for many years. She had been doing so well

teetering on the brink of a multi-tasking implosion.

up until now—steady, mature, and reliable. Her

You know, that moment when multi-tasking

words stunned me.

becomes physically painful because your brain simply can’t handle ONE… MORE… THING.

“Sorry to dump this on you now… bad shape in the heart department… hypocrite… letting you

Let me set the stage: Our first mentoring meeting

know where I’m at… I don’t have my ‘poop’

was set for that evening and, for once, I had all

together… concerned about leading…”

my ducks in a row. In fact, I was feeling pretty proud of myself. My group was in order, the venue

I started hyperventilating. Was this seriously

was ready, the food was ready, the resources

happening today? Six hours before the first

were ready. It was perfect.

meeting of the year? Oh my gosh!

Without warning, my schedule filled with

I quickly called her to see what was going on, and

last-minute applications, new placements,

soon discovered the problem.

new groups, new leaders, and a whole lot of

• Was she living in sin? No.

coordination.

• Had she committed major crimes? No. • Was she addicted to drugs, alcohol, or porn? No.

New people? That’s awesome! Oh no, where are we going to put them all?

Her biggest crime was simply neglecting her spirit.

Before two hours passed, all my ‘ducks’ were

She was ‘empty’ in both spirit and soul, and

decidedly messed up. Don’t get me wrong.

she’d been listening to the lies of the enemy that

Growth is an excellent thing, but it often messes

said, “How can you lead those women? You

with our finely-laid plans, doesn’t it?

don’t know what you’re talking about. See, you had a fight with that person last night. You’re a

I was in the middle of wrapping my head around

hypocrite. You can’t do this. You have nothing to

my new responsibilities when the SMS arrived. It

offer. You should quit now.”

What a rotten enemy! He always attacks us when

My friends, growing in maturity is a SLOW process.

we’re most vulnerable.

It doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time and pressure to be transformed into the image of His Son.

Why do people believe the lie that they can ONLY lead when they are perfect? My friends, that will

Success doesn’t mean perfection. No! But IF YOU

never happen. If you are waiting to be perfect

LOOK AND SMELL MORE LIKE JESUS AT THE END OF

before obeying God and serving people, you will

THIS YEAR, THEN YOU’LL HAVE BEEN SUCCESSFUL!

NEVER be ready. God doesn’t call the qualified; he qualifies We lead because God is perfect and He enables

the called!

us, despite our imperfections. A holy anger rose up in me, and I lovingly but In fact, you don’t even have to ‘sin’ to feel

firmly gave my friend a ‘kick in the butt.’ I charged

disqualified. You don’t have to be an addict, a

her to take her negative thoughts captive and

thief, or a whore. All you have to be is… EMPTY…

spend some time in God’s presence.

in your emotions (your soul) and empty in your spirit (the part of you that connects with God).

“My friend, you don’t have time to argue with the enemy about whether or not you are qualified.

If you are feeling empty today…

Get with Jesus NOW, and let Him fill up the empty spaces. You CAN do this!”

you desperately need to hear the Words of Life that God is speaking over you. HE LOVES YOU, HE

She listened to me and did just that. And the next

LOVES YOU, HE LOVES YOU. And when you truly

morning, I got a different kind of SMS:

hear the wonderful things He’s saying about you,

“Just some feedback. Thanks for the butt kicking

it’ll become easy to live up to that potential.

earlier and pointing me to Jesus… Jesus came to

Isaiah 43:1 says,

the rescue, and our first meeting together went

“But now, thus says the LORD, your Creator, O

well. It’s going to be a good year!”

Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel, ‘Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you

Thank You, Father! n

by name; you are Mine!’” This post first appeared on Shauna’s Blog,

And 2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT says, “Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”

blaaklistwriters.com.

We lead because God is perfect and He enables us, despite our imperfections.

Photography: Unsplash

alison du toit

[ a p l a c e, a f a c e a n d a p a c e ]

You are an outgoing introvert.

YOU; the beautiful, full and original version of you.

This is the place where I can peel back the masks

Are you sure?

and the layers that you have taken on in life. This

Yes.

Is that even a thing?

Absolutely.

is the place to unwrap and unravel. Father, You obviously know that this could, and probably will, get ugly? Do You really

So, I’m not crazy or freaky abnormal?

Not even close.

think anyone will be able to deal with the ‘just got out of bed,’ zero-makeup,

How would you describe me, then?

You are a paradox, and I love that about you. It’s

that way in My kingdom too, you know. You have

I love that face. It’ll be fine.

to die to live, be last to come first, sow to reap,

Will they understand that, while I love them

pre-coffee face?

and give to receive.

and enjoy their company and am totally

I know all that, but we’re talking about

committed to them, I love being alone more?

me, a personality, with character traits and

And that I am a sensitive over-thinker who

emotions. I feel conflicted, and I’m supposed

loves things to be orderly and systematic,

to have found my place and purpose in the

but at the same time can be completely spontaneous?

world. Sometimes, I feel socially awkward like I don’t fit in, or I’m not sure what to say.

They’ll love you anyway. I have made you to

I wonder if ‘who I am’ makes people feel

observe things that others don’t notice and see

uncomfortable, or maybe it’s just me that

beyond the surface. Please don’t fit in. The Holy

feels that way. The pressure to be profound,

Spirit inside of you is going to provoke people to

holy, or prophetic weighs down on my soul.

think outside the box! Just be yourself.

Alison, I called you to a place of belonging,

not to fit in.

Show your real face, and in the end, you will

Yes, Lord, but I love people, and I love to

see that it’s not really that special. I mean… it’s

How do I do all that?

please people, but I can’t meet all of their

unique; I made sure of that! But who you really

expectations. I hate the pressure to be

are is exactly how I planned for it to be⎯not as the

something or someone that I’m not.

world expects or culture demands or even what

This is where I have chosen to place you, and

your friends and family need. Find and reveal

every situation where you are lacking gives me an

your real face, and then find your pace.

opportunity to be there for you. I want you to be

MY NAME IS ALISON. What you’ve just read

I had lost my bearings, and l was spinning with the

was an excerpt of the ‘talking to’ I received

busyness of life. They were all good things, but not

from Father God.

all ‘God things.’ And soon, my body broke down, and my soul followed suit. I had lost connection

I got saved nine years ago at the age of 38.

with Him.

From that moment on, I have passionately and whole-heartedly followed hard after God. I have

Then I heard Him say, “I have a better way.”

experienced growth and radical change that I wouldn’t have believed possible had I not seen

I scoured the Word for Scriptures on ‘finding

it for myself. I pursued Jesus with a determination

balance’ in life, but I drew a blank. Searching for

that I didn’t know I had. I would not give up;

answers, I came to a grinding halt at Matthew

doing more, being more, learning more.

11:28-30 (The Message Bible). “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on

At one point, someone said ‘there should be

religion? Come to me. Get away with me,

balance,’ and I was horrified! Balance? “That’s

and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you

crazy – surely, you’re all IN for the Kingdom, or

how to take a real rest. Walk with me and

you’re out. And, man, I AM all in for God.”

work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay

I’m a high-capacity super-woman, wife, mother

anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep

to three kids and two Great Danes. Combine all

company with me, and you’ll learn to live

of that with church and other interests, and you

freely and lightly.”

get a picture of my life. I mean, ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,’ right?

And there, He spoke into my heart. “Stop looking for balance when I can give you unforced

So why wasn’t my body cooperating? How had I

rhythms of grace.”

gotten to 2016 only to find myself washed out and

burned out? How had my soul become depleted,

Consider the picture of a see-saw with a perfectly

and why on earth was I exhausted?

balanced load on either side. What happens

when something is added or taken away? An

Self-care is not a swear word. Be faithful to Jesus.

unexpected event like a sick child, or flat tyre

He sees. He knows. He cares.

on my car, could cause me to lose my carefully constructed balance. It would take all of my

There is more in you than you realise, and you

efforts, every day, to sustain that kind of balance.

CAN find your place, your face, and your pace! n

So, instead, Father God showed me a Kingdom

____

life of Seasons and Rhythms that flowed between Times of plenty, and times of little.

Alison du Toit, Paarl Family Church

Times of busyness, followed by times of rest

Lives in Paarl.

and quiet. Times of sowing and giving, and times to bring in the harvest.

Head cheerleader to Dennis, mountain-biker, and health nut.

Times of gaining and receiving, and times of loss and letting go.

Mother to Aimee 19, Joshua 15, and James 11. Part-time loner. Dog lover. Camper. Writer.

And these rhythms came with more than enough

Multi-tasker extraordinaire. Coffee snob and

grace to sustain them. He showed me that it’s

sweet tooth.

possible to learn this grace so I can live freely and lightly!

Determined to keep taking risks so the next generation will believe it’s normal to laugh in the

Now, who wouldn’t want that?

face of impossibilities and live a bold, faith-filled life. Fully believing there is no shame in a child-like

I have found a kind, gentle, and patient God

dependence on God!

who is graciously leading me on this journey. He navigates me through the busy times and has taught me to rest. I have found the courage to celebrate my strengths and acknowledge my weaknesses.

J E S U S S A I D TO T H E M , “ C O M E W I T H ME. I’LL MAKE A NEW KIND OF F I S H E R M A N O U T O F YO U . I ’ L L S H O W YO U H O W TO C ATC H M E N A N D WOMEN INSTEAD OF PERCH AND B A S S .” - M AT T H E W 4 : 1 9 - 2 0 ( M S G )

Photography: Aimee Thompson

ALMARI MULLER FORGIVENESS | HOPE | FAITH

I’VE BEEN A ‘PEOPLE PLEASER’ MY ENTIRE LIFE, and

having a panic attack.

for the most part, I thought it was a good thing. Through this incredibly painful time, I had a I accepted Jesus as my Saviour in 2006, and at the

wonderful community that loved and supported

time, I assumed I would stop sinning immediately

my daughter and me. I would never have wished

and be perfect from that point on. I assumed that

this ordeal on my worst enemy. But then the

life would be perfect.

impossible happened… I did the same thing to my best friend.

I’m a new creation? I didn’t know what that meant. I didn’t understand that salvation is an

Very dear friends of mine took me under their wing,

event and a process, that He saved me instantly

and I started to know God better by seeing Him in

but that I needed to become more like Him each

their lives daily. We made some beautiful memories

day. I dragged many old struggles with me into this

together: working together, braaing together,

new life, including a religious mindset.

worshiping together, and seeing each other every day. She and I had even been pregnant together.

I studied, fell pregnant, quit my studies, and got

They were an amazing couple, and I was growing.

married (in that order). I tried my best to look like a Christian, to be a Christian. Thankfully, God loved

However, the enemy is so deceptive, isn’t he? The

me through it all.

one moment my life was wonderful, and I was “in Christ” pursuing godliness, and the next I was

One day, while I was at home alone worshipping,

in complete denial that I was having an impure

I honestly committed myself to Jesus. I went down

relationship with my best friend’s husband. The

on my knees and said to God that, whatever it

fact that I was a yes-woman made the situation

takes, I need to know Him better. Not long after

even worse.

that, my now x-husband was exposed for having an affair with a coworker, and he chose to leave us

Pleasing people is not self-less; it’s actually

to support her in her pregnancy.

SELFISH. It’s because we are so desperate to be wanted and accepted that we try to control

My worst fear had become a reality. I had no

our situation to make that acceptance happen.

mercy, no grace for him. I had given up my studies

Instead of turning to God with my broken heart

and had broken relationships with my family just to

and desperate need for love, I looked for it in a

be with him. I had even placed him before God, at

coworker and friend.

times. And this is how he repays me? INTIMACY IS ONLY REAL WHEN WE CAN HONESTLY Bitterness and hurt swallowed me whole. When

BE OURSELVES.

friends tried to tell me that “it could happen to anyone,” I would become furious and shut them

Of course, it blew up in my face. More pain, more

out. It was a long and painful process, and it took

embarrassment, more heartache. What I didn’t

a long while before I could think about it without

anticipate was how it would affect the whole

community. I waited too long to bring it fully into

forgiveness, hope, and the faith I needed to

the light; I wanted him to speak to his wife first and

get back to the purposes of God in my life.

mend things, but even in that choice, I wasn’t putting God first. My mind was so skew. I thought

HE IS FAITHFUL, ESPECIALLY WHEN WE AREN’T.

that I loved them, but my actions spoke of hatred. I looked at myself and saw… ugliness.

Everyone needs the grace of God… especially ‘ugly’ people. Realising this truth was a huge

Worthlessness, self-hatred, and loneliness became

breakthrough for me. Was grace birthed for

my new best friends. I had lost my church, my

someone who is perfect? No. Grace is for the

friends, and everything else except my family. I

murderer, the thief, the rapist. Grace is for me,

battled depression.

the adulteress woman. I can expect grace.

The only person rooting for me was Jesus, and

We cannot proclaim that Jesus took the

His faithfulness to me was surprising. I didn’t trust

punishment for ALL of our sins, and then make

anyone, and I felt dead inside, but I knew that God

exceptions by punishing people for certain sins.

was my only hope.

God doesn’t do that, so neither should we. You must know this:

In December 2012, I started attending Victory Church. On Vision Sunday, Pastor Louis spoke

YOU CAN BOLDLY COME TO HIS THRONE OF

about “The Waymaker God,” and I was so surprised

GRACE --- IT’S WHAT HE DIED TO GIVE YOU!

that God still wanted me. It was the first glimmer of

COME AND BE HONEST WITH GOD!

hope, and I knew I was where was supposed to be. It has been a long journey of healing for me; a For the next few years, I went to church and to

journey which I am still on. The process of laying

work, but pretty much kept to myself. The journey

down the sins of the past and looking more like

was lonely, full of ups and downs and plagued

Jesus is something that happens over time. It’s not

with the same old struggles.

a once-off event.

So, you can imagine what a surprise it was when,

I’m eternally thankful for the Victory community,

in early 2015, the woman I’d betrayed asked me to

more specifically Me2 Mentoring, Lifegroup, and

have coffee with her. Even more unexpectedly, she

of course the Worship Team. Getting involved

asked for MY forgiveness. I was shocked! She told

changed my life, and accountable relationships

me that she forgave me and that “we’re closing

with those God has placed around me has kept

the book on the past.”

me here. There is too much to live for to quit now ---He has a hope and a future for me.

This moment was a massive turning point in my

life. In that simple conversation, she had given

Most of all, I am so thankful to my faithful Father!

me a gift no one else could have given me…

I’M SO GRATEFUL HE DOESN’T GIVE UP ON US! n

Photography: Impact Photography & Catherine Swayde

Photography: Unsplash

WEAR

BY TA RY N J OY N E R WO O D

SLEEVELESS VEST It’s getting to that awkward time of year where the seasons are changing and it’s hard to dress to suit the weather. To long sleeve, or not to long sleeve? That is my question as I stare into my cupboard trying to pick an outfit for work. It’s chilly now, but by lunchtime I’ll be considering the consequences of semi-nudity in the workplace – only considering it. Enter, the sleeveless vest jacket. Quite perfect for throwing over most outfits, and if you take it off you’re not in danger of any workplace violations. It’s cooler and lighter than a sweater, and great for layering. No matter if you’re going into summer or coming out of it, this will be a great wardrobe addition for this spring or autumn season. Photography: Pinterest

EAT

Photography: Pinterest

R OA S T C H I C K E N IN WHITE WINE, H E R B S & GA R L I C

BY ANNE HUANG

This is a well tested pinterest recipe, easy to make in large quantities and always a crowd pleaser. I’ve made it many times when we have guests over and someone inevitably lickes the pan. Serve it wtih fluffy jasmin rice or cous cous and steamed vegetables. INGREDIENTS: (FEEDS 4 PEOPLE) •

½ cup finely chopped herbs

•

1 large chicken cut into 8 pieces

•

500gm potatoes, cleaned cut in half

•

3/4 cup dry white wine

•

3T olive oil

•

½ cup chicken stock

•

salt and freshly ground black pepper

•

1Tbsp mustard

•

sliced lemon

•

4 cloves garlic, crushed

(rosemary, parsley, thyme and sage)

Preheat the oven to 200°C and place the chicken pieces , potatoes and lemons in a large deep sided roasting pan. Mix the wine or verjuice, stock, mustard, garlic and herbs and pour over the chicken. Drizzle over the olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Roast uncovered for an hour, or until cooked through. 59

Photography: Unsplash Photography: unsplash.com