THIRTY ONE: Issue 10

a tribute to D E E HA R R I S 1957 - 2017

ISSUE TEN

EDNA ELS

M O L LY C O L TA R T

ME2 MAGAZINE

COURTNEY BELL

K I M S O M M E RV I L L E

NIKKI MOCKE

A N G E L A VA N D E R M E R V E

#10 CONTENTS T R I B U T E T O D E E 1

- Edna Els T R U S T T H R O U G H T H E PA I N

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- Molly Coltart F E AT U R E S T O R Y

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-Courtney Bell H E I S FA I T H F U L

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- Angela van der Merve M Y S T O R Y

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- Kim Sommerville B E I N G A S P I R I T U A L AT H L E T E

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- Nikki Mocke W E A R & E AT

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Š This publication is produced by Victory Media for me2 M e n t o r i n g J e ff re y s B a y. A l l a rt i c l e s a re w r i tt e n b y m e m b e r s o f Victory Church unless otherwise stated. This magazine is not f o r s a l e . Fo r f u r t h e r i n f o r m a t i o n o n a n y o f t h e a r t i c l e s , d o n o t hesitate to email us at me2@victorychurch.org.za Issue 10 -December 2017 me2mentoring.com // victorychurch.org.za

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TRIBUTE TO DEE

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HAVE YOU EVER PROCRASTINATED DOING something, not because you didn’t want to but because it was just too hard?

Too soon?

Too painful?

Too...whatever your obstacle is?

Well, this is one of those times for me. You may have noticed on our THIRTY ONE: Magazine cover that we are celebrating the life of our beloved Dee Harris, 1957-2017... too final.

Our darling friend, Dee, went to be with Jesus on Saturday, 4th November 2017.

Dearest Mark, Paul, Marilet, Rebecca, Waron, beautiful Seri, and little ‘grandees’­­—words are so inadequate to express how deeply sorry we are for your loss. Family was always top-priority for Dee, and she delighted in each one of you! Our hearts mourn with you, yet we know that Dee is now with the One she “loved with every fiber of her being,” as we heard her say countless times!

Our friend, Dee, fought the good fight of faith, continually proclaiming the kindness of her Heavenly Father, and refusing to be a victim. She left this world ‘Much more than a conqueror,’ impacting the lives of everyone she came in contact with.

Dee lived life with exuberance, yet she was incredibly sensitive to the needs of people around her.

Her creed, “It’s more blessed to give than to receive,” was practically lived out every day,

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to the extent that the nursing staff in ICU would sometimes wake her in the middle of the night to pray for a critically ill patient whom they thought wouldn’t make it. There was always someone asking her for counsel for a wayward son or a broken marriage. She loved pouring out the wisdom and counsel of God and watching Holy Spirit bring hope and transformation into broken lives.

Always giving more of herself than required, our Diana wouldn’t hold back, especially when it came to giving her opinion. This made for many interesting situations—never a dull moment!

“Wisdom waits” became a private joke between her and Louis when he would miss it and she’d admonish him strongly. :) And miss it we all did, but we would repent and ‘keep the issue the issue.’ Our friendship grew strong, and friends became family—caring, sharing, and praying for each other, and whichever of our kids needed a bit of extra help from heaven.

As you know, Dee loved to extract principles from Proverbs at every opportunity and in every situation. She always taught us with great zeal and much laughter.

LIFE WAS TO BE LIVED, AND FUN WAS TO BE HAD! Coming from Zimbabwe, Afrikaans was a foreign language to Dee, but she had a few choice words which she would use (out of context) to describe a song we were singing that she didn’t like all that much. This would result in

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SHE LEFT THIS WORLD ‘MUCH MORE THAN A C O N Q U E R O R ,’ I M PA C T I N G THE LIVES OF E V E RYO N E SHE CAME IN C O N TAC T W I T H .

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L I F E WA S

uncontrollable laughter. Thankfully, our laughter didn’t raise any eyebrows as it also coincided with the ‘Toronto Blessing.’ During that season,

TO BE LIVED, AND FUN WA S T O BE HAD!

we experienced an unprecedented move of God during the outpouring of the Spirit in 1994, and we were as excited as little children to see what extraordinary things God was doing in the Church that she loved so much!

Dee’s passion for God, His Word, and loving people was the driving force in her life. And as we saw in the many tributes on her Facebook page, that passion impacted the lives of countless people for eternity. Mentoring and imparting wisdom to the next generation were also passions that fueled our Dee. She was instrumental in the foundation of Me2Mentoring back in 1999 as we started this journey together.

“Imitate me as I imitate Christ” was not just a favorite verse but an authentic lifestyle that resulted in transformed lives and a rich legacy of Kingdom community.

So, it’s time to say goodbye...

Dearest Dee, we LOVE you so, and that will never be in the past tense. Thank you for a life well-lived, and no opportunity wasted. Thank you for telling me (and MANY others) countless times how much you LOVED us and what amazing friends we were. Thank you for allowing Him to multiply His love and kindness in and through you, and for spilling that love on all of us!

Enjoy heaven till we meet again!

Your forever friend,

Eds 8

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is b

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born for a time of adversity. — Proverbs 17:17

Photography: Sherah Krause

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MOLLYCOLTART Photography: Anne Galloway

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WE HAD BEEN LIVING IN MAIDSTONE IN THE UK

“And we know that in all things God works for

for ten years, a happy unit of three: myself, my

the good of those who love Him, who have been

husband James, and my daughter Chloe. We had

called according to His purpose.”

experienced our fair share of difficulties, but none that hit us as hard as the trauma that came in

For years, I’d struggled with Chronic Fatigue

September 2016 when James was diagnosed with

Syndrome alongside digestive and ovary issues,

Acute Myeloid Leukaemia. As you can imagine,

and I relied much on James physically. Life often

this devastating news changed our lives forever.

felt like survival, so I was in a real place of crying out to God to bring change. I knew that we

Leukaemia is a blood disease that attacks the

were both created for so much more than we

white blood cells (the immune system). This

were living.

requires the patient to be hospitalised in isolation while they are receiving treatment. Little did we

We were a tight little unit, each playing a

know that the first treatment would keep him

valuable part in our family. With no relatives

there for four months. Thus started the harsh reality

close to us, our reliance and love for each

of the journey we would walk.

other were strong.

That’s where the powerful phrase, ‘But God,’

The Sunday before James’s diagnosis, we were at

comes in. There is no way that I can explain to

church, and I distinctly heard from God that it was

you in one article how much God has done in our

time to fight in prayer. That same day, someone

lives and is still doing through this journey. God

gave me a picture;

can, and is, bringing beauty from pain and life from ashes.

They saw me walking through a very dark valley where I couldn’t see much apart from massive

The process of walking through James’s

mountains overwhelming me on every side.

treatment, and his eventual death, has brought

However, God was with me. Beyond the valley

about a revelation of faith, a depth in my love for

stood Jesus with arms open wide, ready to

Jesus, knowing God is ever-present, and even in

embrace me. In this picture, I looked back and

the silence, seeing His hand. It has transformed

could see that the mountains had not overcome

our lives with a change in perspective. I now have

me because He was with me.

a deeper level of intimacy with God than I ever dreamed possible. There is undeniable truth in

At the time, I thought he was talking about my

Romans 8:28 that says,

health and the promise of freedom. Little did I

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know that this vision, and the Scriptures Psalms 18

and He was faithful to speak to me through

and 118 would become our battle cry.

whatever I read or listened to.

As soon as we got the diagnosis, I vividly

At times, the pain and agony inside were so

remember driving to the hospital with a friend and

deep I would wail into my pillow, but then I would

crying out, “WHY, why does God require so much

sense a presence and peace like a soft blanket

sacrifice from me? How will I cope?” I was barely

come over me. If I woke in the night, words of

holding on. A million questions were bombarding

worship would fill my brain, and again I’d sense His

my brain at once... money, the house, the

presence.

business, Chloe, my health. It was too much to bear.

“He is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in Spirit.” Psalm 34:18

That night, struggling to sleep and fighting off panic attacks, I felt God say, “You can’t do it in

We went through eighteen months of extremes.

your own strength and alone—not without Me

James was in ICU four times, each time not sure if

by your side. I will be closer than you have ever

he would pull through. He went through a bone

known.”

marrow transplant, heart attack, intestinal trauma from the chemo, and procedures that made

I had a choice. I could push Him away and allow

my stomach turn. Combined with that, I carried

anger and resentment to take root, but I knew

the pressure of closing a business, dealing with

that I would sink. I had to be strong enough to

taxes, chasing money-owed, organising meals

support Chloe and be her security. I couldn’t fall

for James, selling vehicles, taking Chloe to school

apart. No, the only way I would survive this was

and after-school clubs, homework, being there for

to trust that He was going to uphold me, provide

her, and dealing with my own health issues.

for me, and see us through. God hadn’t caused this disease. I had to remember His promise that

Through the trials, God continued to show us

if “I trust Him with all my heart and lean not on

pictures of us being in the boat with Jesus. Even

my own understanding that He WOULD make our

when the storm raged, He was still steering. We

paths straight.” If I didn’t trust Him, I knew I would

knew that as long as we kept our eyes on Him,

break down.

we would be ok, but as soon as we looked at the storm, we would sink. Time and time again, we

Sleep was difficult, and panic and fear would

would hear bad news which would shake us to

grip me each morning as I checked for phone

the core, but when we’d come back to the truth

messages. It was a challenge to put my feet on

and perspective of His Word, He would pull us

the floor and face the day, to meet Chloe with

through.

a smile, to love and support. But God was there,

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THROUGH THE TRIALS, GOD CONTINUED TO SHOW US PICTURES OF US BEING IN THE BOAT WITH JESUS. EVEN WHEN THE STORM RAGED, HE WAS STILL STEERING.

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Looking back now, I know that none of that was

beyond belief. Sadly, he wasn’t healed. Once

possible in our own strength—God was, and is,

again, all the questions arose, and the choice to

carrying us. James held onto God with everything

trust God had to kick in.

in Him. He never complained or was angry, and he faced every fear and procedure possible with

It’s been five months since James passed, and

such courage. God was all over him, and I was so

not a day goes by that I don’t miss him and wish

encouraged to see God sustaining him. If James

he was here. I sit here today with tears in my eyes,

had chosen to hate or be bitter, it would have

not just because of the pain of my loss, but also

torn my heart in two.

because God has sustained and strengthened us through that loss. He has been so kind and loving,

Herein lies the crux of my testimony; GOD WAS,

even when I’ve mistrusted His intentions. Even in

AND IS, BECOMING MORE REAL TO US EVERY

the midst of pain, He has shown His goodness and

DAY… even in the midst of fear, pain, agony,

faithfulness to me and has taught me how to see

helplessness, stress, and anxiety.

life from His perspective.

For the first time, I truly see the love He has for me;

Life is fragile—every day an opportunity for us

not a love that punishes or hurts or requires us to

to allow God to mould and shape us to impact

be perfect, but a love greater than a parent has

this earth with His love and power. I have seen

for a child. Just as I was doing everything to be

how He has held Chloe so tightly, and lovingly

what Chloe needed, God was being everything I

caressed her heart. My greatest worry was that

needed. He fights for us, has our back, and what

she would be bitter towards Him. However, last

the enemy sought for destruction, He uses to bring

week she asked me if she could give her heart to

good. My eyes are opening to a LOVE that never

Jesus, and is now reading His Word daily. What an

fails (1 Corinthians 13)!

incredible love God has for us!

Love requires choice—it requires relationship.

This is a new chapter that God has for us, one

He won’t force us to let Him in, but if we do,

where He is becoming our ‘All in All.’ n

He assures us that we will never have to face anything alone! That choice was about to be tested once again.

Until James’s last breath, we (and people around the world) believed and interceded for his healing. That in itself brings pain and agony

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EVEN IN THE MIDST OF PAIN, HE HAS SHOWN HIS GOODNESS AND FAITHFULNESS TO ME AND HAS TAUGHT ME HOW TO SEE LIFE FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE.

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proverbs 31:26

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She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness.

Photography: Shefa photography

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COURTNEY BELL

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Photography: Sherah Krause

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IF I KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT GOD SO FAR, IT’S THAT HE CAN TRULY TRANSFORM ANYONE! Growing up, I had a loving family, but I did not know God. It seemed as though the enemy had set out to destroy me from the time that I was a little girl.

Being sexually abused was the beginning of years of shame, fear, loneliness, and a quest for counterfeit expressions of love. A gaping hole in my heart grew, and I began to believe lies that told me I was worthless and unlovable.

Soon, alcohol, drugs, and guys became the sweet relief from my secret pain. But at fifteen years old, I got pregnant and felt like a complete failure. I didn’t even think twice about any other option; I just needed this problem to be gone, so I had an abortion. I cried for many nights after all of that, unable to put into words the pain that I felt.

It was as if my very being had ripped apart into unsalvageable pieces. I felt empty and needed to drown my agony.

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The second time I got pregnant, I was eighteen

My heart began to yearn for more freedom, and I

and announced to everyone I was keeping this

suddenly had an overwhelming desire for something

baby because I refused to go through the same

more than the ‘higher power’ I had created for

heartache I’d experienced with the first. But within

myself through Alcoholics Anonymous. I decided

days, the fear of being a single mom terrified me so

to move to Ireland on a bit of a whim, and I met a

much that I had another abortion. After that, I just

young girl there who loved Jesus wholeheartedly. We

became numb and used even more alcohol, drugs,

would talk for hours about God. I told her all of the

and sex just to survive the torment going on inside

things in Christianity that I didn’t believe in, and she

of me.

patiently discipled me toward the truth.

I eventually decided to end my life. I don’t know

I missed home desperately but knew I couldn’t

if I really wanted to die, or if it was the only way to

leave—something compelled me to stay. It was like

be heard—the proverbial scream in a room full of

someone was saying,

people. My second suicide attempt was more violent than the first. I had hit rock bottom and decided I’d

“Come away with Me, away from the noise of your

had enough.

life, away from who you think you need to be. Give yourself to Me, and I will give you rest.”

With the help of family and friends, I began a long

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journey toward recovery. I sobered up, went back

It was the most terrifyingly wonderful feeling I had

to university, and worked out incessantly. After five

ever experienced! It felt like this force was after me

years of this and feeling completely exhausted, I

with a vengeance toward anything that had ever

started to feel that there must be more to life than all

tried to destroy me. It was a love different than all

of this hard work. The pressure to be perfect weighed

the counterfeits I had encountered. It was so foreign

me down on a daily basis. Little did I know that

to me that, at times, I just wanted to hide from it.

people were praying for me to know Jesus, and as I

Eventually, I woke up one day and said the simplest

look back, it’s clear that Jesus had increasingly been

prayer: “God, I don’t understand any of this, but I

pursuing me.

surrender to You.”

I STARTED TO FEEL THAT THERE MUST BE MORE TO LIFE THAN ALL OF THIS HARD WORK. THE PRESSURE TO BE PERFECT WEIGHED ME DOWN ON A DAILY BASIS

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“IT WAS A LOVE DIFFERENT THAN ALL THE COUNTERFEITS I HAD ENCOUNTERED.”

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Shortly after, I read through the book of Matthew. I

In other ways, God’s healing came through a

read about how people tortured and shamed Jesus.

process of surrendering to His ways—a string of

I read about how He was whipped, mocked, and

moments all adding up to a journey of

hung on a cross to die. Tears streamed down my

• I nviting God’s presence to wash over me, time and

face, and I realized at that moment that this was real. My eyes had opened to the Truth—Jesus was real, and He died for me, not because of anything I had done but simply because He loved me and wanted me.

time again, • Allowing the Word of God and His Truth to renew my mind and set me free, and • Taking steps of obedience to my Heavenly Father’s voice as I trusted Him with my broken heart.

It felt like I had fallen in love for the first time and had

I now know God as my Father who is perfect in all His

encountered fresh new life and rest in my heart. This

ways. He has allowed me to complete my Masters

love ran deep and mysterious, like someone had just

in Counseling so that I can help young girls whose

let me in on the most amazing secret of all time!

hearts hurt as much as mine had. He has invited me to lead the children’s ministry at our church so that I

Since then, God has done an amazing work in

can teach young children about this wonderful Jesus

my life. In some ways, He has healed my heart

I never knew as a child. He has even blessed me with

instantaneously—these were inexplicable and

a husband who loves me and reflects the Father to

sudden moments where God’s healing power

me on a daily basis.

came in contact with years of heartache. He brought instant forgiveness, love, and healing that

My life is definitely not perfect, but HE IS! And that

transformed old memories into a peace I could

has proven to be more than enough for me as I’ve

never have received from years of counseling.

encountered the One who saves, redeems, and makes whole!

Courntey is married to Daniel and lives in Calgary, Canada. Part of Life Connection Church, thriving in me2 mentoring and the young adults community.

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AS IRON S HARP ENS S O A M AN S HARP E COUNTENANC E OF HIS F P ROV

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S I RO N, EN S T H E FRI E N D. E R BS 2 7 : 1 7

Photography: Sherah Krause

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ANGELA VA N D E R M E R W E

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MY HUSBAND AND I MET THROUGH WORK.

When we started talking about the possibility of

I wasn’t saved at the time, and I knew he was

getting married, there were a few values that

a Christian, but that wasn’t so important to me.

were important to him, one of which was that I be

One day, he invited me to go to church with him.

saved and have a living relationship with Christ.

I eventually agreed to go, on the condition that

It was by no means an ultimatum; it was simply a

we sit right at the back so we could leave if I felt

discussion about what we will value as a married

uncomfortable.

couple.

I remember that Sunday so well. One of the elders

I started asking him more and more questions

was preaching about finances, and the message

about God, their relationship, and how it all works.

was so real for me. I was fascinated to see how he

I always say, “He loved me to salvation.” He

connected a modern-day problem to the Bible.

never Bible-bashed me. He never interfered in my

I’d always regarded the Bible as a storybook of

relationship with God. He let the two of us grow

‘the olden days,’ not as an encyclopaedia of

in our own time, knowing that God knew what I

answers for today. I was sold! I felt at home and

needed and when I needed it.

couldn’t wait to come back the following week.

Once I got saved, things around me starting This handsome man who took me to church with

changing. Our relationship changed, friendships

him (and who would eventually become my

changed, and the challenges changed too.

husband) was a successful businessman who had

Once we decided to get married, our plans

everything going for him. A couple of months

just fell into place. We were blessed in ways we

into our relationship, his business partner ‘pulled

could never imagine, from a free photographer

the plug’ on their business. He lost just about

to a free wedding cake. The blessings just kept

everything. I remember asking myself, “But he

coming.

is a Christian… how could this happen?” I soon realised that this was not God’s wish for him.

I was trusting God for one thing in particular

People make poor choices and bad decisions

which was to go into my marriage debt-free. A

which impact people’s lives around them. It’s

month before the wedding, I got my tax rebate

how you chose to deal with the effects of those

which enabled me to settle all my debt and pay

decisions that can make or break you.

for my wedding dress. God just kept on giving, and I couldn’t understand why. What did I do to

Watching him survive the financial loss and seeing

deserve all this?

his attitude towards life, people, and business was amazing for me. I soon realised that despite

It was about this time that I started walking a road

what happened, he loved God and God loved

with my spiritual mom and mentor. She taught me

him. How he got back up, dusted himself off, and

so much about accountability,

moved on was remarkable. I realised then it was

• what to leave behind and what to take into my

only because of his relationship with God.

marriage,

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WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO LOOK FOR T H E POSIT I V E I N A TOU G H SITUATI ON, GOD WI LL SHOW YOU. H E IS FAIT HF ULรณ YOU JUST HAVE TO K EEP YOU R EY ES F OC U S E D ON HI M.

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• how to get rid of the burdens I was carrying,

God is always there in the waiting.

• and so much more about life, married life, and my new life with God.

We struggled again for three and a half years to fall pregnant with our second child. It was a long,

I cannot begin to describe the value of

hard journey with God. It was challenging for us

accountable relationships and how God sets us

as a couple too. There were some days when he

up for success through them.

was low, and other days when I was low, but the encouragement God gave us along that journey

I also joined Me2 Mentoring during this time,

was phenomenal.

and it really was life-changing. It has become part of my spiritual DNA, and I can’t imagine life

When you choose to look for the positive in a

without it. I was sceptical at first, but once I got

tough situation, God will show you. He is faithful—

started, I loved it. Every year has been different,

you just have to keep your eyes focused on Him.

new friendships formed. I quickly learned that

We received amazing promises and prophecies

everyone has issues, dreams, and aspirations, and

during the waiting, things we could cling to when

when you make yourself vulnerable to the women

the enemy tried his tricks.

in the group, God can use them to help you grow.

Watching ladies grow and supporting them is an

Our baby girl is due in January 2018, and we are

amazing privilege!

beyond excited!

When I look back now on my life, I see God’s

In hindsight, I found my intimacy with God in the

hand in so many places. He was there with me

waiting, and I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

whether I knew it or not. He was there whether I

What I discovered with Him is more precious to me

acknowledged Him or not. He protected me in so

than anything!

many situations without me even realising it.

Has my journey with God always been sunshine Life hasn’t always been easy—marriage isn’t

and roses? No, not at all. But has it been worth

always easy. It takes hard work and constant

it? Oh, for sure! He loves me and blows my mind

care. We tried for a year to fall pregnant with our

every day. He is the best decision I’ve ever

first child. I sometimes asked myself, “What have

made! n

we done wrong? Why are we being punished?”

But on the day we finally discovered we were

Anglea and her family live in Durbanville, South

pregnant, I realised that time means nothing. Our

African. She is part of the bubbling me2 mentoring

joy was so overwhelming that we almost forgot

ministry at Oakhill Church.

about the pain in the waiting.

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A GENEROUS PERSON WILL PROSPER;

W H O E V E R R E F R E S H E S OT H E R S W I L L B E REFRESHED. P R OV E R B S 1 1 : 2 5

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Photography: Shefa Photograpy

KIM / sommerville

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I WAS BORN AND RAISED IN A CONSERVATIVE

champions; God was no longer needed. I turned

Christian family. I learned about the Bible,

to drinking, drugs, and sex. A year later, I hit rock

memorized Scriptures, and was educated in the

bottom and realized I needed out of this lifestyle.

doctrines of the church. I understood the theory of

So, I packed my things and moved back in with my

God, but not a relationship with Him. Prayer was

parents temporarily, and then moved to a different

only something you did before meals, at bedtime,

city.

or at church. But even with just a head knowledge of God, He placed missions on my heart from a

In my brokenness, I soon began dating my friend,

very young age.

Rob. I had known him since high school. He was safe, and also was a little broken, so it seemed like

Shortly after graduating from High School, I went

a good fit. Two years later, we decided to

on my first mission’s trip with YWAM. It was the first

get married.

time that I had really experienced Father, and we formed a relationship that I didn’t know existed.

In the first eleven years of marriage, we

It was a time of growth and development where

accomplished a lot. I got a business degree, Rob

I knew God as a Father that I could fully trust and

changed careers, and we moved between cities

rely on. He was speaking to me and through me,

and into multiple homes. We’d attended many

and it was such an exciting place to be.

different churches, but never had a relationship with God. We had three kiddos and three

Shortly after returning from missions, I was raped.

miscarriages.

I was only nineteen years old and my world shattered. Truthfully, at that moment, I no longer

We appeared to be a happy couple, but we

wanted God to be part of my life. I was angry

weren’t happy at all. Our marriage was marked

and so very hurt. I’d been a good girl, served

with emotional and verbal abuse, and I walked on

on a mission team, was a virgin saving myself

pins and needles, worried about the next blow-up.

for marriage, and it was all taken from me. God

I felt belittled and worthless, and a protector of

wouldn’t hold a true place in my life for a very

my kids. In fact, I felt safer and more secure when

long time.

Rob was gone than when he was home. I couldn’t continue living this way, but Rob told me he would

My initial thought was, “God was supposed to

never go to counseling. That was the moment I

protect me. How could He allow harm to come

emotionally exited our marriage, although it would

to me?” I lost the revelation of who God was, and

take another two years before I had the courage

I turned to counterfeit measures to fill the void

to leave physically.

and the hurt. I found friends who knew what had happened and they became my protectors and

I could no longer be the shell of a person I had

Photography: Marissa McCann

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become and was desperate for change. So, the

Then she asked, “Have you ever asked God what

kids and I moved in with my parents, and I pursued

He wants for your marriage?” My response was,

my dream of getting my nursing degree. For the

“No, I can’t ask God because I can’t go back to

first time in a long time, I started to take care of

the way things were.” She said God would NEVER

myself. I worked out, went to school, made new

ask me to go back to way things were—I just

friends. I felt smart, valuable, attractive, loved, and

needed to trust Him.

on my way to being self-sufficient. I had become a strong woman who walked away from a horrible

Later, while I was alone in my car, God showed me

situation and was doing really well.

how much pride and doubt I had in my heart. I asked questions like, “How can I go back? I’m the

And yet, through our three-year separation, Rob

one who left. Everyone will think I’m crazy. Can

never gave up on our marriage. He found a

You really change someone that drastically?” God

church family in the Life Connection Church in

showed me all the anger and hurt I had towards

Calgary, and they believed with him and prayed

Rob. He showed me that I needed to forgive and

for our marriage the entire time. I desperately tried

let go.

to get legal agreements in place for our separation and divorce, but God had other things in mind.

I will never forget the first time I saw Rob after that encounter with God. God had changed my heart,

We were days away from finalizing the paperwork

and I saw Rob through His eyes, not my human

when I attended a friend’s wedding. God used

eyes filled with hurt and anger. I saw a changed

some sweet moments within that wedding to make

man. I asked Rob many of the same questions I’d

me long for a Godly relationship like theirs, and to

been asking him for the past three years, about

want the happy ending of “until death do us part.”

who he was and who he had become.

But I was fighting hard… after all, I was happy and successful now.

The question that changed everything for me was, “Why did you hold on for so long?” He simply

At the wedding, I had a conversation with a friend

replied, “A true love for you.” I looked at Rob and

that changed the course of my life. We were

no longer saw things through the lens of hurt—I

talking about the impending divorce, and I was

had truly forgiven him.

trying to convince her that I was doing great.

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She then asked, “Have you ever truly forgiven

We began to date again, went to counseling, and

Rob?” I replied, “Of course… I am happy and

figured out life together. But truthfully, from the

content with my life. Yes, there are moments that

moment I saw him through new eyes, God had

he aggravates me, but I’m not angry with him

healed our marriage. Within four months, we were

anymore.”

living together as a family again.

I had become a strong woman who walked away from a horrible situation and was doing really well. And yet, through our three-year separation, Rob never gave up on our marriage.

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We’ve been back together for four years now

can see God’s faithfulness throughout our story,

and will celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary

but it isn’t the circumstances that bring hope.

in August. We have seen so many incredible shifts within our marriage and family because God is

Hope comes from God and God alone.

the center. Our kids understand to the core of their beings that miracles are possible and God can

Romans 15:3 says, “May the God of hope fill you

change lives. We have seen our kids go from angry

with all joy and peace as you trust in Him. So that

and hurt, struggling with issues of abandonment

you may overflow with hope by the power of the

and separation, to kids who are filled with joy

Holy Spirit.”

and love. God has shifted so much. Where we used to lack, we are excelling whether it be in

Throughout my story, even when I didn’t know

communication, respect, friendship, being better

what tomorrow held, I gained strength through the

people, cleaving to each other, and above all,

tears because I understood that

loving each other for the people we are, not the

• Jesus bore the biggest heartache on the cross

people we think should be.

and grieves right along with us.

• God held our fragile baby before she entered

But even with all the great moments over the past four years, we’ve also been through some of the hardest moments we’ve ever faced. We had an early miscarriage, an ectopic pregnancy which required emergency surgery, and we lost a baby at 15 weeks. That’s enough heartache to tear anyone apart, and let me tell you, that was a huge fear of mine.

this world, and I know He holds and comforts us in our most fragile moments.

• Our timeline doesn’t always fit with God’s season, and we just need to trust Him. • I have gained compassion for those going through loss, along with a desire to make sure people don’t feel alone through their journey.

• And I love a little deeper from all the times we needed others to pray for us because we didn’t

And yet, we have come through it stronger. We

have the words to pray for ourselves.

have a deep understanding that we can’t live our life in fear, but rather through God’s grace and

I have no doubt that God is good, He does good,

hope. While we were still pregnant with the baby

and He is faithful! n

that we lost at 15 weeks, we gave a testimony that our story is one of HOPE. After the loss, we

Kim and her family is part of Life Connection

realized that we had it wrong. I was looking at the

Church in Calgary, Canada.

pregnancy as the source of hope, especially after the separation and all the losses. It’s true that you

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And yet, we have come through it stronger. We have a deep understanding that we can’t live our life in fear, but rather through God’s grace and hope.

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ì MANY

DAU G HT E R S

H AV E

DONE

WELL,

B UT

YOU

EXC E L

T H E M A L L .î C H A R M I S D E C E IT F U L A N D B E AUT Y I S PAS S I N G, B UT A WO M A N W HO F E A R S T H E LO R D, S H E S H A L L B E P RA I S E D.î

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P R OV E R B S 3 1 : 2 9 - 3 0

Photography: Nicole Honeywill

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NIKKI MOCKE

MY NAME IS NIKKI MOCKE.

Don’t be scared to dream BIG! God gives you

I live in the beautiful coastal town of Fish Hoek,

those big ideas, and then He gives you the desires

Cape Town, with my hunky husband, two children

of your heart. In the beginning, I was too shy even

(8 and 5 years old), three dogs and a cat. I have

to say “Olympics” without blushing. The goal

the privilege of calling Victory Cape Town my

seemed enormous, but I needed to live like it’s

church for nineteen years.

going to happen.

I went to the Beijing Olympics in 2008 and came

Never put yourself or God in a box. He is bigger and

7th in the K4 500m (K = Kayak, 4 = 4 girls in one

better and has the wildest, coolest ideas for you.

Kayak, 500m = the distance of the race). But my journey started some time before that and has

2. When you get there, it’s tough!

been about so much more than just kayaking or the Olympics.

We trained hard and sacrificed a lot. Words can’t adequately describe what an athlete goes

Here are my top 5 Most Valuable Lessons that I

through to get to the Olympics. It was much

have learnt along the way.

harder than it looked like physically, emotionally, financially, relationally, and in every area of life.

1. L ive like it’s happening – don’t be shy!

Don’t get a fright if you thought it was going to Eight years before the Olympics, God gave

be easy just because you were doing it for God.

Dawid (my husband) and I an Olympic dream. He

Even though God is on your side, it’s TOUGH and

planted this idea and seed in our heart. I was a

that’s ok. When you get the promotion, become

very keen paddler—Lifesaver, Surfski paddler, and

the CEO, qualify as a pilot, or land your dream

Marathon canoe paddler—but Olympic sprint

job, the reality is you still have to work hard. You

kayaking was something I hadn’t done before.

now have a whole new set of challenges to face.

You have to stop looking around and wishing you

We took a giant step of faith and decided to live

were someone or somewhere else.

like it was happening! It wasn’t an easy or obvious decision, and there were many obstacles, doubts,

We worked hard, ridiculously hard. We trained

and sacrifices along the way.

at least five hours a day and spent more time at training camps in strange countries than at

We bravely ordered and bought a sprint kayak,

home. We were all-consumed by qualifying for

found out when South Africa Champs was

the Olympics at the World Championships. We

scheduled, and moved to a house on the Marina

eventually qualified by 0.02 of a second (not

to make training as convenient as possible.

1.00 second but 0.02 of a second). That’s what separated us from going or staying!

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This was my theme song for almost ten years on

comes when you don’t win, or you get injured,

my Olympic journey:

or you stop competing. Who are you then?

Give me one pure and holy passion, Give me

You have to remember that your existence is not

one magnificent obsession, Give me one glorious

based on your performance. It’s not about who

ambition for my life, To know and follow hard

you are but whose you are.

after You. 4. A gold medal is a wonderful thing, but if you To grow as your disciple in your truth, This world

can’t be enough WITHOUT it, you will never be

is empty, pale, and poor, Compared to knowing

enough WITH it.

you, my Lord, Lead me on, and I will run after you!

The Olympic village is an experience like none If you KNOW that God is leading you, nothing is

other­—free goods, famous athletes, masses

too tough.

of nervous energy, a phenomenal amount of emotion, and of course, the constant state of

3. Your existence isn’t based on your performance.

adrenalin your body is in knowing your time is coming. Everything you have sacrificed and

There has to be (and there is) more to you than

trained for meets at this very point.

just performance. Your value isn’t found in what you do, and the world is not better off without you

This quote from the movie “Cool Runnings”

if you don’t win.

changed my life and became my Olympic motto: “A Gold medal is a wonderful thing, but if you

When you are an athlete, your body is your tool,

can’t be enough without it, you will never be

your weapon, and you start to think of yourself in

enough with it.”

the 3rd person. For example, “My body feels tired.

My body needs some food,” and so on. It’s very

Isn’t that so true? So simple? So like Jesus?

easy to become obsessed with how your body

Friendships and meaningful conversations all

is feeling, and in turn, believe that you ARE your

matter. You can change someone’s life on the

body and only exist because of what you can DO.

bus, at your office, or just by continually showing love. Whatever sphere you find yourself in, use

When an athlete is getting their body to certain

every small opportunity to be meaningful and

targets, goals, or events, it is only natural for their

intentional with your time. This will have a lasting

expectations, conversations, social life, calendar,

impact.

and priorities to be singularly focused. In fact, they

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can become so focused that they start to believe

People are seldom satisfied. Human nature

that they are only good enough to do that one

wants more­—more money, a better car, bigger

thing. For me, it was to paddle. The problem

house, to be thinner, faster, fitter. At the Olympics,

“ A GOLD MEDAL IS A WONDERFUL THING, BUT IF YOU CAN’T BE ENOUGH WITHOUT IT, YOU WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH WITH IT.”

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I realized that I was ‘thin,’ fast, fit, with all the

Paul likens our life here on earth to that of an

outward glory a person could want, but I still felt

athlete.

the same inside… inadequate, unfit, struggling to achieve one more goal. I’d made it to the

“Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs,

Olympics but had more insecurities than ever

but only one person gets the prize? So, run to win!

before. If I wasn’t satisfied with my body, abilities,

All athletes are disciplined in their training. They

and achievements at the OLYMPICS, I realized I

do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we

never would be.

do it for an eternal prize. So, I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I

Don’t chase the wind; you’ll never catch it.

discipline my body like an athlete, training it to

You can’t even see it. You just feel it. Don’t

do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after

box aimlessly into the air. That’s how the Bible

preaching to others I myself might be disqualified”

describes never been satisfied.

(1 Corinthians 9:24-27 NLT).

5. For me, a win is a changed life.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith,

When I look back at my Olympic journey, I don’t

let us strip off every weight that slows us down,

see value in results, dusty trophies, and the

especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And

achievement of being a paddler. I see true value

let us run with endurance the race God has set

in friendships filled with love and integrity that last

before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on

forever.

Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith” (Hebrews 12:1-2b NLT).

Practically, all I have to show for my Olympic journey is an old box of dusty medals and trophies

I challenge you to live as a spiritual athlete—on

that are stuck in the attic. What you can’t see are

purpose, totally satisfied with who you are, being

the friendships, experiences, character building,

led 100% by our God! n

crucial conversations, and changed lives I gathered along the way.

Nikki, along with her husband and children are based in Cape Town, South Africa, part

You need to be able to define a ‘win’ in your

of Fishhoek Victory Church.

everyday life. What does a win look like to you?

Sometimes you have a good race/bad result, OR a bad race/good result. You don’t always get what you deserve because God has got you on a unique journey.

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THE FEAR OF T H E LO R D I S T H E B EG I N N I N G O F WISDOM, AND THE K N OW L E D G E O F T H E H O LY O N E I S U N D E R STA N D I N G. P R OV E R B S 9 : 1 0

Photography: Nicole Honeywill

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Photography: Unsplash

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WEAR

BY NICOLE HONEYWILL

EMBROIDERY How stunning is this trend? Rather than reminding you of your grandmothers’ ratty sofa cushions they draw their roots from bright and bold bohemian culture! It’s taken folk culture and made it so effortless. It is literally perfect for any occasion!

Want to wear it to work? A button up with embroidered flowers on the lapel sounds perfect right? Running out to the store in the freezing weather? How about embroidery on your jeans? Heading to the beach on that perfect day? How about a embroidered dress?

You’ll be the talk of the town.

Whether you’re 16 or 61 this trend is absolutely perfect for you. Be brave and be embroidered.

Photography: Pinterest

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HUSBAND’S CHEWEY GOOEY BROWNIES

EAT

B Y A N N E G A L LO WAY

The baker in our family is my husband Craig. He loves to bake and his go to crowd favourite is his chocolate brownies. Now these brownies have a reputation of being the perfect combination of chewey edges, soft gooey centers and melted dark chocolate bits for that extra decadance. Serve it warm or cold with icecram. it will not disappoint.

INGREDIENTS: (8-12 (IT’S DECADENT!) •

2.5 cups of sugar

•

1.75 cups of flour

•

1 cup of butter

•

4 heaped tablespoons of cocoa powder

•

1 teaspoon of vanilla essence`

•

Pinch of salt

•

4 large eggs

•

Slab of dark choclate

1.

Mix sugar, butter and Vanilla essence together. Then beat in 4 large eggs, one egg at a time. That is the wet mixture, set aside.

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2.

Sift flour, cocoa powder and salt together together. That is the dry mixture.

3.

Fold the dry mixture into the wet mixture.

4.

Add a large slab of dark chocolate, roughly chopped.

5.

Pour into a greased oven dish. Bake at 180 degrees Celsius for 30-40 minutes

6.

Take out of oven and set aside to cool.

7.

Serve warm with cream or icecream

Photography: Unsplash Photography: unsplash.com

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