Living in the In-Between text by Vivian Fung

Living in the In-Between text

Texts by Royce Vavrek

Gai Mei “They say that Chinese people Eat dogs and cats.” That’s what Hannah said. Hannah, my Waisian friend From high school: Half-Chinese, part French, part Bri sh, Had a u y black cat With piercing yellow eyes. She called her Gai Mei. Tastes like chicken. Flu y black cat. With a Cantonese name: “Chicken Flavour.”

It was her Chinese father’s idea To give her such an edible name. It was her Chinese father’s idea, More amusing than racist.

That Sunday Morning That Sunday morning I casually asked About the lump you found Months prior. Small, you said, But you’d have it examined. That Sunday morning I casually asked… Did you see the doctor? A ood of truths: Yes, it was cancer. No, I didn’t tell you. Yes, it was removed. No, I didn’t want to worry you. Yes, it requires radia on. No, it’s not over. Yes, my physician is op mis c. That Sunday morning I cried a hard cry. Fear and anger In streams down my cheeks. I didn’t want to worry you, Was your excuse for withholding. Instead you applauded me at every show, Refusing to let your inner struggle Dampen my song.

It was the rst me I considered Losing you That Sunday morning. That Sunday morning.

Black Sheep (Exhaus on) My father Was the black sheep Forever compared to the promises lost In a drowned son: My father’s brother. His li le body, 4 years-old recovered from creek Behind the house in Peru. His li le body, By accident, Or an act of murder, His li le life Taken before my father was born. My father Was the black sheep Forever compared to a brother he never knew. Never good enough for his mother, My father disengaged As his laments bi erly spun Tighter and ghter. Isn’t it exhaus ng, To hate someone so long,

The black sheep With ma ed wool, The darkness of the ber. The weight of it. I dream of shearing That burden From his back.

Buns The power of food, Of a bun, A bite into a Cha Siu Bao To transport you Back to your childhood. Nine years-old Holding mom’s hand At the Harmony Bakery Memorizing my favorite snacks: Buns. Hot dog buns. Coconut buns. The power of a bun Transports you… My mom introduces me To pillowy Chinese treats A cultural lesson through food. Food is a metaphor for love. Food is a metaphor for love. Food is a metaphor for love. Oh, The power Of a chicken-cabbage bao.