Verve. September 2016. Issue 126

“The art projects are quite demanding and require much thought,” says Deborah, “but they are very free in the way they can be interpreted. The children use good materials and usually have a beautiful object to take home. When people visit, they’ll ask them about the project which then often engages them to speak abut the person who died.

There are many benefits such as this that we hadn’t imagined.”

In the workshop, interaction is key. “We need to find inspirational ways to break down the barriers as fast as possible,” Deborah says. “The children are all very shy to begin with but the place fills up with chatter very quickly. On occasion, there have been some amazing discussions about who they have lost, and what happened. From having done so many of these workshops my understanding is that these children want a holiday from their pain, but find it comforting to be amongst others who understand what they’re going through, without it being spelt out.”

I ask about the oft-repeated notion that kids are stronger than we give them credit for, and Deborah dismisses it as myth. “It may make us feel better, but bereaved children really are very vulnerable,” she says. “Even if they don’t look like they are. I kidded myself that it’s not so bad for the little ones, but having done the research, it’s not okay to lose a parent when you are three — you can become disassociated from other people. Children are not as resilient as we like to think but we’re trying to give them tools to be so. In this case, it’s the tool of creativity.”

Deborah’s aim is to create a national network of workshops. “It feels like we’re providing something that needed to exist,” she says. “We are lucky with the generosity of those who volunteer their time or resources. The children become empowered. I’m glad to do something practical to help, but I can’t focus too much on their stories because I would be debilitated, I’m not a therapist. My hope is that Cloud Workshop can simply help these young people to feel less alone in their grief.”

To find out more, or to make a donation, visit cloudworkshop.co.nz Words: Jamie Christian Desplaces