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VISAS REVOKED

Two VCU students, one recent graduate, 1,234 nationwide and counting

ANDREW KERLEY

Contributing Writer

Two VCU students and one alum recently had their visas terminated, joining a national trend of hundreds of international college students having their immigration statuses changed.

The news first broke on April 10. Privacy laws prevent the university from sharing additional details, including why the visas were revoked, according to VCU spokesman Michael Porter.

At least 23 students in Virginia have had their immigration statuses changed as of April 12, according to data acquired by Inside Higher Ed. Adding to the total are 10 at George Mason University, nine at Virginia Tech and one at the University of Virginia. At least 1,234 international students and recent graduates have been identified nationwide as of April 15.

VCU leaders, including President Michael Rao and Provost Fotis Sotiropoulos, released a statement on April 11 saying the university “stands with the international community” and encouraged them to seek immigration lawyers.

“To our international Rams: You are a very important part of our community and highly valued for all of the good things you bring to VCU. You are vital. And you are not alone,” the statement read.

VCU Global Education Office Immigration Services sent an email on April 9 to 1700 international students, scholars and employees on visas sponsored by VCU recommending they “carry their documents” at all times. It also instructed students on their rights if approached by Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

GEOIS has not been communicating with ICE or any other federal government regarding international students outside of the regular procedures required to get students sponsored, Director Paul Babitts stated in an email.

Concerns over free speech protections started after the high-profile ICE detainment of Columbia University student Mahmoud Khalil on March 8, according to the Columbia Spectator. Khalil, a Palestinian activist, served as a negotiator for the April 2024 encampment at the university that inspired students at

hundreds of schools across the country to follow suit, including VCU.

Secretary of State Marco Rubio launched an initiative ahead of Khalil’s arrest to identify and revoke the visas of international students who “appear to support Hamas,” according to Axios. The reviews use artificial intelligence to scan the social media pages of thousands of students.

One international engineering student at VCU, who wished to remain anonymous, said they made an effort to study abroad and come to the United States. Now they receive constant worried calls from their family in their home country, where most schools do not accept transfer credits.

“It’s scary, just talking about an issue could get your whole educational career gone, just like that,” the student said.

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Thousands protest in the city — and organizers plan for more

HECIEL NIEVES BONILLA Contributing Writer

Large demonstrations against the Trump administration’s executive actions, cuts to federal spending and a number of related issues have taken place regularly in Richmond in the past weeks and are planned to continue, including as soon as Saturday, April 19.

Demonstrations in opposition to President Donald Trump’s second term began in the city the day he was inaugurated with the “We Fight Back” protest in Monroe Park. A couple dozen residents attended the speeches held by Virginia’s branch of the Party for Socialism and Liberation on Jan. 20, according to ABC8. Focuses of the day also included advocating for worker concerns and a free Palestine, according to David Robbins, an organizer of that event.

The first demonstration associated with the #50501 movement took place in Richmond along with other major cities around the country on Feb. 5. #50501 began as a decentralized effort on social media to coordinate antiadministration action nationwide, according to the Associated Press.

Hundreds of people, many with signs, gathered at the Bell Tower on the Virginia Capitol grounds on April 5 to hear speakers discuss Project 2025, the playbook for a stronger executive capable of unilateral right-wing policy which was produced by much of Trump’s newly instated staff.

Since early February, what became the Virginia chapter of a national nonviolent protest organizer under the ‘50-50-1’ name has been the main organizer of regular demonstrations. They were the main organizers of the “No Kings Day” protest on Feb. 17 to coincide with President’s Day, according to a previous report by The Commonwealth Times.

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Two VCU international students and one alum had their visas revoked by the federal government last week. Photo by Kieran Stevens.

A chalk message written on the ground at Park Plaza. Photo by Kieran Stevens.

Stories of the week

national: A case against Meta, Facebook’s parent company, went on trial April 14 over accusations that it runs an illegal monopoly through Instagram and WhatsApp. international: Nayib Bukele, the president of El Salvador, said on April 14 that his government would not return wrongly deported Maryland man Kilmar Armando Abrego Garcia, who is being held in a detention center.

The title was an allusion to revolutionaryera Americans’ rejection of one-man rule as well as the theme of the day’s speakers. On Feb. 19, Trump posted on X an AIgenerated image of himself on a TIME magazine cover with a king’s crown and the title “Long Live the King.”

As a partial response, #50501 organized “March 4th Democracy” two weeks later and similarly drew hundreds to the Capitol grounds. The focus of this demonstration was to “condemn abortion restrictions, voting laws, and potential healthcare cuts,” according to Virginia Mercury.

March did not see another #50501-organized protest, but the area continued to see demonstrations that had been concurrent with the Capitol gatherings since February. These included multiple gatherings outside area Tesla dealerships in opposition to billionaire owner Elon Musk and his involvement in the federal government and furthering of far-right politics. These were similarly harmonized with national protests of the same nature, under the umbrella of #TeslaTakedown.

These protesters, and the people involved, became one of over 150 groups that went on to contribute with #50501 to the “Hands Off!” protests on April 5, according to NBC12. This day was different — thousands of people filled the

Capitol grounds to participate in a march to Monroe Park, part of what ultimately became the largest national day of protest since the summer of 2020.

About 600,000 people registered for nationwide events, but estimates of the actual national turnout, including from the organizers themselves, place it in the millions, making it one of the largest protests in number of participants in American history, according to CNN.

Antoni Szachowicz, a community organizer working with the Virginia chapter of #50501, spoke to the broad issues the movement is in opposition to.

“The march on April 5 was to stand up to this administration and demand they cease attacking our constitution, our rights and our country,” Szachowicz said.

This broad definition of the protest aims presents the challenges of advocating in the name of over two dozen issues, according to Szachowicz.

“The most prominent issues we called out were the unjust detainments and deportations of ICE, oppression of trans people and minorities and cuts to social security and programs that support the elderly, veterans and the disabled,” Szachowicz said.

The pace of protests, one or more every month, is planned to continue — the next large demonstration is planned for Saturday, April 19, and is meant to include a networking and organizing event for local activists.

“This will give attendees a chance to connect with organizations more directly involved in direct action, particularly with Palestine, fighting climate change and supporting all human rights, including LGBT and immigration rights among others,” Szachowicz said.

Szachowicz said he also hopes to get more volunteers involved as events get bigger.

“This is an important aspect of the movement because protesting alone will not get us to a better America,” Szachowicz said.

The goal of the protests is to defend democracy so that Americans will continue having free elections, demanding this administration follow the constitution or get out and calling for the removal of oligarchs and corporate money from politics, according to Szachowicz.

Szachowicz also commented on VCU student involvement and on the demographic makeup of the demonstrations so far.

“Although we are seeing a predominantly white and older crowd, we realize this is because many POC and students have been traumatized by the government’s responses to BLM and the Gaza protests. Many students worry about risking their place at VCU,” Szachowicz said. “It is on us to create a safe environment for them and shield them from the police if they begin suppressing our movement.”

Protesting alone will not get us to a better America.”

Antoni Szachowicz community organizer “

Protest - Continued from front page

Marchers cross Belvidere Street bearing signs and posters. Kobi McCray.

Signs and posters from the April 5 protest. Photos by Kobi McCray.

Richmond citizens begin voting on Richmond People’s Project

SKYE HATHAWAY

Contributing Writer

Richmond citizens began voting on April 1 on how $3 million across nine districts will be spent as part of the Richmond People’s Budget project, according to its website.

Citizens aged 14-years-old and up are encouraged to vote on projects relating to their districts, which include categories such as arts, environmental, public safety, recreation and health, according to the RVAPB website.

Leidiana Delgado, council chief of staff at the RVAPB, said their mission is to encourage members of the Richmond community to voice their opinions on what projects would improve their district while evaluating the costs of these projects.

“Our main goal is to engage community members with City Hall and get a general idea of what certain projects would cost in communities, but also let them have a direct say on what projects they want to see funded,” Delgado said.

“Together, they highlight the diverse needs of Richmond and our collective commitment to building a better future for the city,” Samuels stated.

Voting is available to all Richmond citizens regardless of incarceration or immigration status, and the RVAPB encourages the people of Richmond to get involved by voting for their desired projects, Samuels stated.

“The Richmond People’s Budget is open to anyone who lives, works or studies in the city of Richmond,”

Samuels stated. “We encourage all eligible participants to vote and get involved! Immigration status and current or past incarceration do not affect your eligibility — if you call Richmond home, whether permanently or temporarily, this process is for you.”

A system called ranked-choice voting will give voters the opportunity to select multiple projects based on their level of preference, making it a fairness-based system, Samuels stated.

“Ranked Choice

District 2, home to the VCU Monroe Park Campus, will vote on projects such as the addition of a shelter at the Lombardy Kroger, public art, street improvements and the addition of trees to lower the heat index in the summer months, according to Delgado.

Isaac Samuels, lead organizer at the RVAPB, stated in an email that these projects represent Richmond’s diversity and illustrate the city’s goals to improve for the future.

Samuels stated that the RVAPB traveled to many local places and neighborhoods beginning in Sept. 2024, gaining insight into the ideas that locals had for community projects. Budget delegates reviewed the over 1900 ideas that were sent in and selected the top ideas for their final proposals, which now appear on each district’s ballot.

Each district received a base amount of $200,000 of the $3 million from the budget and was then awarded additional funding based upon the RVA2050 Climate Equity Index, which assesses overall need in the districts using 39 different factors, Samuels stated.

Voting has been used in Participatory Budgeting initiatives around the world,” Samuels stated. “Our community-based Steering Commission chose this method because it is widely regarded as one of the fairest voting systems and allows residents to express their preferences without being limited to a single choice.”

Districts 3, 5 and 7 were awarded an additional $100,000 each, while districts 6, 8 and 9 received an additional $300,000 per district, Samuels stated.

The scattered distribution of these amounts will allow all Richmond districts to benefit from funding equally, including those that were previously underfunded, according to Virginia Mercury. Richmond citizens can cast their votes for their home districts’ desired projects by going to in-person polling locations or by casting their ballot online, according to Virginia Mercury.

Polls closed on April 15, and voting results are expected to be released on Monday, April 21, according to Virginia Mercury.

VISAS REVOKED

continued from front page

Another anonymous international student said they came to America because their home country does not have free speech. They now feel unsafe and angry at current events, but afraid to speak out in fear of retribution.

“I feel very much betrayed by the American dream,” the student said.

The student said international students must choose between fighting for what they believe in and keeping all of their opportunities.

“At this point, they are not even trying to hide it,” the student said.

Dozens of VCU students on April 14 walked out of class in protest of the visa revocations and joined multiple nonstudents in a rally at Park Plaza. Protesters chanted, “We want justice, you say how! Hands off our students now!” One sign read “Keep ICE off our campus.”

Protesters gathered around Park Plaza at the ‘Hands Off Our Students’ walkout on April 15. Photo by Kieran Stevens.

Students for Justice in Palestine, one of the clubs organizing the event, asked students to email VCU administration to demand they provide legal services for students and become a “sanctuary campus.”

Sereen Haddad, a Palestinian student activist who spoke at the rally, said she does not think VCU is doing enough.

“Universities are not neutral spaces,” Haddad said.

“They either choose to protect their students, or they enable a system that harms them.”

Bob Holsworth is one of the leading political analysts in Virginia, as well as a former VCU professor and Board of Visitors member. He said some students did nothing wrong, and are only being deported for expressing their free speech rights.

Universities are having trouble pushing back because they are acting alone, Holsworth said. They should organize a collective response and protect their students.

“You now have essentially hundreds of students who are going to be deported,” Holsworth said. “It could turn into thousands, who knows when it’s going to stop?”

International students bring tremendous value to universities, Holsworth said. They bring diversity, research skills and varied experiences and backgrounds that help students “acquaint themselves with the world.”

“I think it’s important to stand up,” Holsworth said.

Editor’s note: The Commonwealth Times has chosen to hide the identities of international students.

Illustrations by Zoë Luis.

Tariff plan stirs uncertainty, anxiety from experts, businesses

Spanberger, Earle-Sears to face

off in Virginia governor’s race

ANDREW SCIDA Contributing Writer

Abigail Spanberger secured the Democratic nomination for Virginia’s 2025 gubernatorial race on April 3, setting up a contest against Republican nominee Lt. Gov. Winsome Earle-Sears.

Spanberger, a former CIA case officer and congresswoman representing

President Donald Trump levied a new 10% “reciprocal” tariff on nearly every country, according to the White House. These changes have already stirred concern in Richmond.

Local business owners and professors at VCU warned the move could raise prices, stall the economy and isolate the United States from global trade.

Christopher Saladino, a political science professor who teaches international political economy at VCU, said the tariffs are “punitive” rather than strategic.

“That’s not what the administration is saying, but it seems pretty clear that when you put this many tariffs on many countries and say ‘tariffs’ endlessly, it creates negative economic activity,” Saladino said.

Saladino said there is no real economic case for the policy.

“There’s no set of economists out there who are on team tariffs. In fact, this has gone against most of the advisers, with the exception of Peter Navarro, who is the ‘tariff guy’ who doesn’t know much about them,” Saladino said.

The idea that tariffs will help American workers, especially those in manufacturing, does not hold up either. While a few industries might see short-term relief, broader markets could collapse under retaliatory tariffs, according to Saladino.

“We might do well with energy and steel, but we lose our market for energy and steel because those things can’t sell overseas,” Saladino said. “We’re pushing ourselves away from international politics. This impacts the entire planet.”

Saladino said there is a growing nostalgia for jobs that earlier generations spent decades trying to escape.

“There are people who see a future for themselves working in textile mills and chemical plants,” Saladino said. “But their parents and grandparents worked hard to make sure they wouldn’t have to. Now those same families are somehow convinced going backward is progress, and that’s not just unrealistic, it’s painful.”

Saladino pointed out that consequences are not hypothetical, they are already unfolding.

“There’s got to be a return on investment,” Saladino said. “But what we’re seeing now is a bad policy cycle and a lot of pain, especially for people who were promised something better.”

John Froitzheim, a political science professor at VCU, said the tariffs appeal to Americans without college degrees, many of whom feel left behind by globalization. But even if the policy connects with that base, they are likely to suffer the most.

“These same supporters are likely to feel the pain, as they will be paying much of the indirect costs through more expensive goods,” Froitzheim said.

Froitzheim said American manufacturing may not come back in “any meaningful way.”

“Manufacturing is robotic and very technical, so I’m not sure how many people these firms will hire without a college degree,” Froitzheim said.

Meanwhile, small businesses in Richmond are also watching costs climb.

Lauren Meinhard, general manager at Pizza and Beer of Richmond, said her team has started seeing price jumps on items like drink syrups and imported goods.

“We’re just keeping a very close eye on our invoices,” Meinhard said. “If things get too expensive, we’ll have to switch brands, or worse, cut hours or let people go.”

Meinhard said layoffs would be a last resort, but the pressure is building.

“I hope it doesn’t get to that point, especially when they’re our good employees,” Meinhard said.

Hollie Mann, a political theory professor at VCU, said the policy feels less like a plan and more like a deliberate cycle of disruption.

“It has been a time of enormous chaos and uncertainty, both in terms of communication and policy,” Mann said. “It doesn’t seem like a strategy or a plan, which makes me nervous.”

Mann said the tariffs are part of a broader pattern where Trump creates dramatic standoffs to justify his own authority.

“You make the problem and you solve it,” Mann said.

Mann also warned that the U.S. is losing its credibility abroad. “We are an increasingly isolated country,” Mann said. “We really can’t overstate how removed he is from basic political and economic knowledge.”

John Aughenbaugh, another political science professor at VCU said tariffs are taxes and Americans will be the ones paying them.

“If it increases the cost too much, then Americans may not buy stuff, and that’s almost inevitably a precursor to a recession,” Aughenbaugh said.

Aughenbaugh added that the U.S. is not positioned to rebuild its manufacturing sector quickly. The country lacks the raw materials, the facilities and the trained workforce to replace global supply chains.

“We would have to import those raw goods, develop, train a workforce and build the plants,” Aughenbaugh said.

Augenbaugh said Donald Trump is being a responsive politician to a “big chunk” of his voter base, who wanted to reorient trade policy.

“It may be stupid, but that’s politics,” Augenbaugh said.

Virginia’s 7th District, is considered a moderate Democrat, according to The Hill.

Mack Blair, a second-year sociology and political science student, stated in an email that Spanberger will be the candidate to protect certain services that have had some pushback because of President Donald Trump’s administration.

“I think if it goes in the case of Spanberger it’s going to be probably

protecting things like abortion laws, protecting social services and education which have been rolled back,” Blair said.

Earle-Sears, who currently serves as Virginia’s lieutenant governor, secured the Republican nomination after no other GOP candidates qualified to run, according to Politico. She has been endorsed by Gov. Glenn Youngkin, who is barred by Virginia law from seeking a second consecutive term.

Earle-Sears, who was openly opposed to President Donald Trump’s nomination as the Republican presidential candidate in 2022, has since endorsed him, citing “liberal extremism” on her website.

The 2025 election will make history regardless of the outcome: The winner will

become Virginia’s first female governor. John Aughenbaugh, a political science professor, stated in an email, “For voters who complain that the candidates and their parties do not offer voters a choice, well, that will not be the case in the Spanberger, Earle-Sears contest.”

Halle Crider, a graduate social work student, said, “I do feel like my vote in state elections makes a difference, more so because the Virginia governor’s policies and politics directly impacts my day-to-day.”

The election will take place on Nov. 4. Eligible Virginians can register to vote online at elections.virginia.gov until Oct. 14.

JOSHUA PALER

Contributing Writer

Illustration by Killian Goodale-Porter.

BRIEF

Stat of the week

Sports Martelli Jr. making THE NECESSARY MOVES

VCU first-year infielder Nick Flores recorded three hits and three RBI’s in the 10-6 win against George Mason University on April 12, according to VCU Athletics.

KYLER GILLIAM Staff Writer

After the departure of Ryan Odom to the University of Virginia, the VCU Rams and their new men’s basketball head coach Phil Martelli were in a rough spot with players such as first-year center Luke Bamgboye, first-year guard Brandon Jennings and second-year forward Michael Belle entering the transfer portal.

VCU only has a few scholarship players on the roster after VCU graduate student guards Max Shulga, Joe Bamisile and Phillip Russell, and graduate student forward Jack Clark ran out of eligibility.

Martelli looked to the portal and locked up the commitment of two of his former players at Bryant University: third-year forward Barry Evans and second-year forward Keyshawn Mitchell.

Evans is back in the A-10 after a productive year for the Bryant Bulldogs, averaging 13.3

points per game and 6.8 rebounds per game, according to Bryant Athletics.

Evans stands at 6-foot-8-inches and uses his large frame on the glass and the defensive side of the ball. He is also an efficient scoring option, shooting 47% from the field and 37% from behind the arc last season, according to Bryant Athletics.

He won American East Newcomer of the Year after transferring from St. Bonaventure University. He was also named to the SecondTeam All-American East and an American East All-Tournament Team member.

Keyshawn Mitchell stands at 6-foot11-inches, which will make him the tallest player on VCU’s roster next season. Mitchell was the top offensive rebounder in the American East with 2.7 offensive rebounds per game, according to Bryant Athletics.

Mitchell would come to full form in the American East tournament averaging 14 points per game and 10.6 rebounds per

game during the three-game tournament, helping the Bulldogs clinch their spot in March Madness.

Martelli also convinced hometown guard Brandon Jennings to stay in the black and gold this upcoming season. The first-year showed flashes in limited minutes behind more experienced Rams guards.

At 6-foot-4-inches, Jennings uses his length to be a pest on defense. He is able to pick up full court as well as disrupt passing lanes.

Jennings can also score at all three levels, shooting 39% from behind the three-point line last season, according to VCU Athletics.

Jennings scored 12 points in the opening game of the A-10 tournament against St. Bonaventure, with Shulga and Russell struggling, Jennings was crucial to securing that win that would lead to the Rams winning the A-10 championship.

was ranked No. 6 in the nation in team possessions per game with 75.4. VCU was ranked No. 272 with 68.2, according to TeamRankings.

Bryant would have seven more offensive possessions that could lead to more points than the Rams last season. Bryant also shot the fourth most field goals per game last season, according to TeamRankings. Getting quick shots at the rim, especially off of fastbreak opportunities, is what Martelli plans on doing with the black and gold, reminiscent of the Havoc days in the past.

With the additions of Evans and Mitchell and the retention of Jennings, I see a bigger version of Havoc in the future for the Rams. So fans should be excited, with fast-paced high-scoring offense and opportunistic defense on the way.

Martelli’s philosophy is pace, Bryant

Illustration by Killian Goodale-Porter.

Cavaliers crush the Rams

DAN ELSON

Contributing writer

The Cavaliers blew out the Rams 13-0 in just seven innings on April 8.

The Rams, who are last in batting average according to the Atlantic 10, had just four hits in the game — two of them from firstyear second baseman Adrian Jimenez, one from first-year catcher Jacob Lee and fourthyear right fielder Danny Estrada.

“UVA is a good team,” said Rams fourthyear shortstop Casey Kleinman. “They came out hot. We’ve been playing good baseball recently. We wanted to bring that in today but they came out with more energy.”

Rams fourth-year starting pitcher Miles Garrett ran into trouble early in the top of the first inning. He gave up a leadoff double to Cavaliers third-year center fielder

first baseman Henry Ford lined an RBI single up the middle to give the Cavaliers a 1-0 lead.

Cavaliers third-year catcher Trey Wells extended UVA’s lead to 3-0 on a triple to deep center which scored Becker and Ford and third-year left fielder Harrison Didawick’s RBI single gave the Cavaliers a 4-0 lead.

The Cavaliers added two more runs to their lead in the top of the second on an RBI double from Becker and a ground out to second base that scored third-year third baseman Luke Hanson.

After two innings from Garrett, who gave up four earned runs and walked one batter, the Rams turned to Cooper Campbell for the top of the third. Campbell pitched two innings, gave up four runs on five hits, walked three batters and struck out three.

off the inning with a single and advanced to second on a fielding error from Rams second-year center fielder Trent Adelman and a walk to UVA’s first-year third baseman James Nunnallee. The Rams were able to escape trouble.

The Cavaliers scored four more runs in the top of the fourth on an RBI single from third-year designated hitter Chris Arroyo, a bases-loaded walk, and a two-RBI single to left field from Nunnallee.

Cavaliers third-year pitcher Bradley Hodges pitched five innings, gave up two hits and struck out seven batters.

Jimenez singled up the middle in the bottom of the sixth and then advanced to second on a wild pitch. VCU thirdyear outfielder and first baseman Spencer Sullivan came into pinch hit and was hit by a pitch. For the first time in the game, the Rams loaded the bases up on a walk but a

said. “We got to move on towards George Mason and put all of our focus towards that series right there and keep it up, because our last two series, conference series, we’ve been playing really well.”

In the top of the eighth inning, Becker hit a three-run home run, his fifth of the season, to center field to widen the lead to 13-0.

“This is a VCU team that believes in what we’re doing here and these guys have continued to compete in the face of adversity,” Rams head coach Sean Thompson said in a statement. “Tonight, Virginia played a good game, they came out with high energy and put runs on the board.”

The Rams will travel to St. Louis, Missouri on Thursday, April 17 to play the Saint Louis Billikens at 7 p.m.

UVA third-year outfielder Aidan Teel lines up to bat. Photo by Kieran Stevens.

ct sports selects: Who will hoist the Larry O’Brien?

With the NBA playoffs right around the corner, The Commonwealth Times Sports staff makes their picks for who will represent each conference, and more importantly, who will end the season at the top of the summit.

DREW THOMPSON

Staff Writer

The Boston Celtics will be representing the Eastern Conference in the NBA Finals . The defending champs have remained one of the most dominant teams in the league. The only team in the East that can challenge them is the Cleveland Cavaliers, but the Celtics are better built for a sevengame series.

I anticipate they’ll run into a roadblock in the finals where they’ll lose to first-time champions the Oklahoma City Thunder. The Thunder are probably the deepest team in the entire league, and they have the record and stats to back that up. Leading the Thunder is MVP-hopeful guard Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, who is in the midst of his best season with a league-leading 32.7 points per game, and sitting within the top 15 in assists and steals per game, according to ESPN.

The Thunder are more than just Gilgeous-Alexander however. The Thunder have the third-best offense with the best defense in the league to match, according to the NBA. Its defense is complemented by players like guard Cason Wallace, guard Luguentz Dort and forward Chet Holmgren. The offense runs primarily through Gilgeous-Alexander, but guard Jalen Williams provides good secondoption scoring and center Isiah Hartenstien is a top offensive rebounder in the league.

The Thunder are the betting odds favorite to win the NBA championship, according to FanDuel, and it’s easy to see why. Oklahoma City will win their first title on the back of an MVP-caliber season from Gilgeous-Alexander, and fantastic depth to compliment him.

ANDREW MCGHAN Staff Writer

The NBA Finals are going to be the Oklahoma City Thunder representing the Western Conference and the Boston Celtics representing the Eastern Conference. The team that will win the finals will be the Boston Celtics.

The Celtics are the defending champions and look primed to make another postseason run to the NBA Finals. They are led by an all-star duo of forwards Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown. Tatum averages 27 points per game and Brown averages 22 points per game, according to basketballreference. The Celtics sit at second place in the Eastern Conference standings with a 61-21 regular season record. They also have an offensive rating of 120.6 which is ranked second in the NBA, according to basketball-reference.

The Thunder are in first place in the Western Conference standings with a record of 68-14, according to basketballreference. They have a defensive rating of 107.5 which is the best rating in the NBA.

I see a playoff series between the Thunder and Celtics going to six or seven games. The Celtics will win the series because of their experience and their offensive ability.

HAYDEN BRAUN Contributing Writer

The Lakers have had the spotlight on them all season due to the shocking Luka Dončić trade. However, before the Dončić trade, the Lakers were 28-19 and fifth in the Western Conference, according to Yahoo Sports. Since then, they’ve been on a 18-10 run, according to Statmuse. The Lakers are third in the Western Conference, according to ESPN — though that could change at any moment, given how tight the playoff race is in the West. There’s just a two-game separation between the seventh seed and the third seed, according to SB Nation.

The Lakers’ success this season has been fueled by their star trio: LeBron James, Luka Dončić and Austin Reaves. James, age 40, continues to defy Father Time, averaging 24.4 points, 7.8 rebounds and 8.2 assists per game, according to ESPN. Dončić’s impact has been immediate — he leads the team in scoring 28.2 points per game and 8.1 rebounds per game, according to ESPN. Reaves has shown significant improvement, particularly from three-point range. In a recent game against the Golden State Warriors, he set a career-high with nine three-pointers, according to StatMuse. This season, he ranks second on the Lakers in three-pointers made at 3.6 per game and fourth in three-point percentage at 37.9%, according to ESPN.

I do think the Lakers will face off against the Cleveland Cavaliers in the finals. James’ leadership has been key in keeping the Lakers competitive in the tight Western Conference race. With the playoffs approaching, the Lakers’ championship hopes hinge on this trio’s ability to maintain their elite production.

ALEXIS WASHINGTON Staff Writer

The Golden State Warriors will represent the Western Conference in the NBA Finals. This national championship-caliber team poses an offensive threat with their veteran leadership. Eight people on the Warriors are averaging double-digit points, according to ESPN. Warriors’ guard Stephen Curry continues to make it hard for others to defend him averaging 24 points and six assists. His offball movement, deep three-point shooting and high basketball IQ creates space not just for himself but for his teammates as well.

One key aspect of the Warriors’ success is their aggressiveness, with the help of forward Draymond Green. If he stays out of foul trouble, there is no question that they can win their eighth championship in franchise history. Green averages six rebounds and five assists, according to ESPN. Another key player is forward Jimmy Butler who got traded to the Warriors from the Miami Heat. In his first season with Golden State, he has averaged 17 points and five rebounds and five assists. The Pacers struggle with rim protection allowing an average of 51.7 opponents points in the paint per season, according to teamrankings.

Despite the Warriors being sixth in the conference, playoff Curry and Butler are something different. Curry averages 27 points, six assists and five rebounds in his playoff career, according to statmuse. While Butler averages 21 points and six rebounds. One thing the Warriors have over any other team in the conference is help from the bench players. The Warriors are third in the NBA in bench points per game with 43 points, according to statmuse. With the contributions from everyone on the team, the Warriors will hoist the Larry O’Brien Trophy once again.

Illustration by Killian Goodale-Porter.

Rams fall to Wildcats in nailbiter

MALACHI KEYS

Contributing Writer

BRIANNA COBBS

Contributing Writer

VCU women’s lacrosse came up just short in a well-contested matchup against the Davidson Wildcats, losing 11-10 on April 9.

The Rams started strong in the first quarter, with third-year midfielder Kiley Kozak netting the team’s first goal off an assist from fourth-year attacker Mia George. VCU graduate attacker Mason Whitmore followed up minutes later, giving VCU a 2-1 lead after back-to-back goals.

Davidson fourth-year midfielder Josie Lambert matched the momentum, scoring twice in the first quarter to tie the game heading into the second quarter.

Davidson pulled ahead in the second quarter with a trio of goals, including two from second-

year attacker Jenna Skibbe, giving the Wildcats a 5-2 lead. Davidson got a goal with eight seconds remaining in the half, but VCU would answer with a buzzer-beating goal by VCU first-year Amelia Eilbacher, bringing the score to 6-4 at halftime.

The third quarter saw another surge from Davidson with goals from third-year attacker Jacqueline Callahan and fourth-year Riley Cochrane, but VCU refused to back down. Goals from graduate midfielder Sarah Jones, secondyear attacker Rachel Koeneke and fourth-year attacker Ashley Karn tied the game 8-8 entering the fourth.

“Offensively, we just switched up our formation a little bit,” said VCU head coach Nicole Flores. “We could get clear passing lanes and a better flow, and that was the big difference.”

VCU second-year midfielder Sam Palmer opened the final quarter with a goal to give the Rams their first lead since the opening minutes. Davidson responded with another from Callahan, followed by a goal from Koeneke to tie it once again at 9-9.

The teams traded goals until Koeneke scored again to tie the game at 10-10 with just under four minutes to go. Skibbe found the back of the net one last time for Davidson, handing the Rams a tough 11-10 loss with 1:50 remaining.

Although VCU took the loss on Wednesday afternoon, they believe that there is a silver lining in their defeat, especially heading into the A-10 tournament.

“I think this game was really good for us,” Karn said. “This game just showed us that no matter what seed we are or who we’re matching up with, we can give a good game. Come tournament time, if we play like we did towards the end in the second half of the game, I really do think that we will come out on top in May.”

The Rams will host the Saint Joseph’s University Hawks at Cary Street Field on Saturday, April 19.

VCU second-year attacker Sophia Bombardieri celebrates with VCU second-year attacker Rachel Koeneke after a goal. Photo by Anthony Duong.

Spectrum

On This Day

Tassels, twirls and teasing at RVA Burlesque Festival

MAEVE BAUER

Contributing Writer

The RVA Burlesque Festival celebrated a feathered-filled, three-day run at different Richmond Venues — Strangeways Brewing, Ember Music Hall and The Byrd Theatre — with performances from more than 40 burlesque artists nationwide that lasted from April 10-12.

This year’s featured artists were Nami Flare, Android Allure, Marie La’Pearl and Phoebe Nyx, according to the RVA Burlesque Festival’s website.

This was Richmond’s fourth burlesque festival, but the art form has been around in the city much longer, according to Scarlet Starlet, one of RVA Burlesque Festival’s co-producers.

“Our goal for the festival is to promote the growth of the burlesque scene and the performing art scene here in Richmond,” Starlet said.

RVA Burlesque Festival brings in artists from out of town to show what the Richmond scene is like to artists and show audience members what burlesque is like across the United States, according to Starlet.

They chose artists from a panel of eight people, performers sent in videos of their act and 50-55 applicants were picked out of a pool of around 250, according to Starlet.

“We definitely want to celebrate representation, whether that be in race, in age, in body size. We just like to celebrate a wide variety of different types of people. Definitely LGBT-inclusive as well. Burlesque is for everybody,” Starlet said.

Starlet said that they narrow down the applicants based on the costumes, content, reveals, polish, execution and stage presence.

Marie La’Pearl, one of the festival’s featured burlesque artists, is from Virginia Beach and creates performances that capture her Puerto Rican heritage, according to La’Pearl.

“I really started getting inspired by my culture, and being able to showcase my culture and possibly bring attention to some of the stuff that’s happening in the island,” La’Pearl said. “The fact that you can use burlesque not only to make people laugh, make people have a good time but also bring social awareness for certain things is beautiful.”

La’Pearl said her main goal was for audience members to see the beauty in different cultures.

“We can still be from completely different backgrounds and still see each other as human beings, and see that there is good in every culture in the world,” La’Pearl

said. “Instead of looking for the negativity, maybe it’s time to look for the positive now.”

La’Pearl said she was a fan of the art form long before becoming a performer but was intimidated by the lack of body and cultural diversity. Eventually, La’Pearl took a class and hasn’t looked back.

Those interested in the art shouldn’t hesitate to try it out, according to La’Pearl.

“I kick myself for waiting. I waited about four years before I actually took a class. Don’t give yourself any excuses. Bodies change, I know that a lot of women have this thing of, ‘Oh well, I’m not comfortable,’”

La’Pearl said. “Bodies are going to change. We’re going to age. You have to find a point where you’re going to love yourself at every stage in life. If that’s holding you back. Don’t let it.”

This was La’Pearl’s first year performing at the RVA Burlesque Festival, but not her first time performing in Richmond. She said Richmond’s scene is very inviting and friendly.

“I mainly perform in the Norfolk area, but every once in a while I come up here because the scene up here is great,” La’Pearl said. “Unfortunately, we live in a somewhat conservative state. Richmond, though, the crowd is always inviting and loving. As

performers, we need that a little bit because if you pump us up, we’re going to give you a show.”

There were many vendors selling burlesque accessories and more at the festival. One vendor was Ember Alert, a performer at the festival who was also selling merchandise.

Alert is a New Orleans-based performer who was at the RVA Burlesque Festival last year. She said she loved it so much that she came back for more.

“I do a lot of burlesque festivals across the world, and this one has more of a family. I love the people, I love the performers. It doesn’t feel weird or cliquey,” Alert said.

She said she has been doing burlesque since 2013 but has been dancing her whole life. She naturally fell into the dance aspect of the art form, according to Alert. Alert said she likes the theatricality of burlesque compared to other forms of dance.

“You’re playing a character; all of us have a stage name. We’re taking on a separate persona from our daily life — you can mold it into the different character you’re bringing on stage as your persona. It’s like acting on top of the acting,” Alert said.

In 2018, Kendrick Lamar was awarded the Pulitzer Prize for his 2017 album, ‘DAMN.’

Burlesque performers at Strangeways Brewing during night one of the RVA Burlesque Festival.

Photo courtesy of Pink Bat Boudoir Photography.

Beyond the horizon, into eternity with RAWE models

SALMA ESCOTO

Contributing Writer

Models of all aesthetics strutted fiercely on the runway at the sold-out RAWE “Horizon of Eternity” fashion show on April 12. It was the talent development brand’s first official show, according to RAWE founder and president Raniah Aweina.

Aweina said she wanted to continue her journey in the fashion industry while at VCU after having her own modeling experience in high school.

RAWE began as a modeling club at VCU but later developed into a business for anyone and everyone to join in Richmond. There are now plans to expand beyond Richmond, according to Aweina.

Aweina said that she wanted people to know that when they interact with and experience RAWE, they can do anything they want if they put their mind to.

“RAWE is all about getting to the point where you want to be for your dreams, it’s a base point of growth and stepping into the fashion industry,” Aweina said. “I love being that stepping stone for people from where they start not knowing anything and teaching them about it and watching them thrive.”

The “Horizon of Eternity” show started as an idea in May 2024 inspired by South African singer Tyla Seethal’s MET Gala dress, and by August 2024 the hunt for venues and designers began, according to Aweina.

“The show is all about how fashion is timeless because deserts are seen as neverending, trends will always cycle back,” Aweina said.

RAWE started with the desert theme and branched off from there, with the show being kept in mind during season two tryouts, according to JaKeira Curtis, RAWE’s vice president.

The main goal of the show was for RAWE to prove its credibility as a brand in the fashion industry being run by young 20-year-old women, according to Curtis.

There was a major focus on the neutralbeige desert color palette, which was where

Bodrick said that taking on the lead for set design, a lot of inspiration came from neutral classy interior design.

In their search for the proper venue and supplies to set the ambiance, they faced a handful of rejections, according to Saige-Lynn Stewart, RAWE’s event coordinator.

“You have to be flexible, things happen and you have to move on, and that comes with anything,” Stewart said.

The biggest challenge faced as the event coordinator was rejection, but that’s just part of the industry, according to Stewart.

The next planned step is to solidify RAWE as a professional brand, to see what they’re truly capable of and hope that the audience will be inspired by this, even making their own connections in the industry, according to Stewart.

RAWE is all about getting to the point where you want to be for your dreams, it’s a base point of growth and stepping into the fashion industry. I love being that stepping stone for people from where they start not knowing anything and teaching them about it and watching them thrive.”

Raniah Aweina, RAWE founder and president

(Right) Model Diavanni Dejesus wearing a design by Seamguru at The RAWE Runway Show, ‘Horizon of Eternity.’ (Below) Models clapping at the curtain call. Photos courtesy of Rafiq Afrifa.

the theme of the show was built from, according to Tyra Bodrick, RAWE’s creative director.

(Right) Model Jah Brown wearing a design by Bloo Kaler. Photos courtesy of Rafiq Afrifa.

Blooming into spring at Lewis Ginter Botanical Garden

MOLLY MANNING

Contributing Writer

Lewis Ginter Botanical Garden celebrated spring with its second annual Big Bloom Party on April 11. Because of the rainy weather, the event was moved inside the various buildings on the garden property.

The party was an adults-only, fully floral affair celebrating the beginning of the blooming flowers at the garden. Attendees were donned in florals, pastels and anything flower-inspired such as flower crowns and floral dresses, enjoyed art, music, refreshments and of course, the beautiful flowers of Lewis Ginter despite the rain.

Attendee Juliaca Robles said that she was most looking forward to seeing the garden for the first time as well as the acrobats. She said it would have been nice to see the garden outside, though it was still a great experience.

“I think with the weather they made it work,” Robles said. “So far it’s been great, it looks like a huge property and it looks like they have a lot of events here so I’d love to come back on a sunny day and really enjoy it.”

Food and drinks were available for purchase in the café of the Robins Visitors Center. Attendees were treated to sweets, champagne and other beverages as well as Mediterranean-inspired snacks like gyros and hummus.

Performances included aerialists from Cirque de Sacrilosa, musical duo Lucy

Kilpatrick and Ken Kellner and artists from the Lewis Ginter Homes & Habitats exhibition — a showcase of large-scale installations inspired by ecosystems, on view from March to September. Artist Heather Beardsley led an activity of writing and drawing on seed paper. Filmmaker Dietrich Teschner recorded sounds and memories to add to his sound installation.

Homes & Habitats artist Matt Lively worked with visitors to create a large mural on canvas in the Kelly Education Center that he said he had hoped would be broken up and auctioned off to raise money for the garden.

Lively said that he wished the event would bring more visitors to Lewis Ginter, which promotes environmental education.

“I think people leave with new knowledge on what they can do in their yard, not only to make it prettier, but also provide plants that pollinators can thrive on, and then go and spread the plants all over the place,” Lively said.

Michelle Israel, director of exhibitions at Lewis Ginter, said the goal is to make this event a tradition, as this was the second consecutive year that it has been hosted.

Everything that was initially planned outside was occurring indoors, and the turnout was still great, according to Israel.

“People are having a great time, enjoying and just taking their time to explore the different offerings,” Israel said.

Israel said that sustainability is always at the forefront at Lewis Ginter, and the event has been designed to incorporate sustainable practices such as using biodegradable seed paper for one of the art exhibitions.

Poet A. Logan Hill of Poems for People wrote poems for guests upon request. He said Lewis Ginter is not only a great

date spot, but also an important place in the Richmond community. As far as the Big Bloom event specifically, Hill said he wanted to connect with more people and to spread peace, love and joy through the art of literacy and poetry.

“It offers a lot for the Richmond community educationally and also just by celebrating the beauty of spring, for this event, but in the winter they do stuff too. It’s a good place to be outside and also be learning the whole time,” Hill said.

Tulips and daffodils in the Fountain Garden at Lewis Ginter Botanical Garden. Photo courtesy of Lewis Ginter Botanical Garden.

Visitors painting a large mural on canvas which will be displayed on fences surrounding the Lewis Ginter Conservatory. Photo courtesy of Will Nelson.

Opinions

Quote of the week

“The answers you get from literature depend on the questions you pose.”

— Margaret atwood

Generative AI is a symptom, not the problem

NATALIE MCEWAN

Opinions and Humor Editor

I remember the first time I heard about ChatGPT. It was my first semester at VCU, after I got my first midterm essay back. I was elated to get an A+. When I visited my hometown, I excitedly shared the news with my friends.

“Thanks ChatGPT,” one friend said sarcastically. At the time, I didn’t even know what it was or what it could do, but I was defensive. How could someone even insinuate that a computer could write a perfect essay — or that I couldn’t write a perfect essay myself?

This idea that generative AI is a threat here to replace the English major is a sentiment that worries me — and one that is only growing.

Generative AI has left humanities departments scrambling over the past few years. As an English student, an editor for The Commonwealth Times and a Writing Center consultant, I have seen a lot of that panic firsthand from my professors, classmates and other students.

I could rattle off all the reasons I think AI is horrible — that it trains itself by stealing from real artists’ and writers’ work, the environmental impact, the creative job layoffs by large corporations, the awful AI search results Google forced us all into. I do

not think it is ethical or responsible to use generative AI, and I think it’s a dangerous addiction for our minds and attention spans as college students.

However, I don’t think that ChatGPT is the problem here at VCU. As much as it frustrates me when I have to peer review or edit a paper clearly written by a robot instead of a person, I don’t believe my fellow students are the problem either. I believe VCU — and, on a larger scale, the American education system — is the problem.

Since the 2008 recession, there has been a rising rhetoric around college degrees and their perceived “usefulness.” On some levels this critique is valid, eighteen-year-olds should not sign off on hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt they may never be able to pay off. But a lot of this criticism has been pushed toward the humanities, instead of focusing on the tuition rates themselves.

A university is a business, one that is increasingly metrics-driven. This hurts everyone. Students think they need to get the highest grade they can get instead of focusing on learning. This pressure and mindset creates cheating and plagiarism. Professors are discouraged from failing students even if it is in the student’s benefit.

Enter ChatGPT. When the humanities have been devalued for years, when we conceive of writing —

and a degree — like it is a product and not a process, when students want the highest grade they can get with the lowest possible effort, it makes sense for them to want to use ChatGPT on their UNIV papers. It even makes sense for professors to panic.

For us to fear ChatGPT and see it as a real threat to writing, the humanities and to VCU, we misunderstand the entire point of a humanities degree. In fact, we misunderstand the purpose of writing all those papers to begin with.”

that is free of grammatical errors — one that, on surface level, looks well written. But writing a grammatically correct “product” is not the point of college level writing.

Writing is a process — a way to express argument, deeply explore topics and engage in critical thinking. These are things ChatGPT is far less proficient in. And, by using ChatGPT on your assignments, you are depriving yourself and your brain of that higher level thinking.

Ask yourself what the point of your degree is. Why are you here, in college? You might see a degree as a piece of paper, another step on a ladder you know you need to climb to get the job you want. But the skills you develop and the things you learn are far more important.

No matter what your major is, writing is an important skill and another avenue for communication and self expression. You might worry you are a bad writer, but it is the moments where writing is “bad,” where grammar is a mess, that we learn and grow.

It’s time we value the humanities and understand how important these skills truly are. It’s time we see essays as an opportunity to explore interesting topics instead of stressing about comma placement. If we change our mindsets, ChatGPT will never threaten our humanity or the humanities.

Illustration by Marielle Taylor.

Smut is soulless and I can’t believe people pay money for it.

MAYA SUNDERRAJ Contributing Writer

If I said to you that authors and publishers need to do better, what would you say? If I said that the authors I’m calling out are mainly women, how would you feel?

I feel conflicted. I used to believe I had a broad taste in reading; I used to judge books by their execution, not their concept, but now I find myself shaking my head just by how they’re advertised — see, BookTok. I feel guilty and disrespectful of authors and their artistry, but I still judge them.

I used to never judge what others were reading because I lived by the philosophy that the act of reading in itself is beneficial. Lately, I’ve found myself at odds with that sentiment. My conflicts reveal themselves to me the most in these three genres: romance, fantasy and most obtrusively, erotica.

From a terribly underwhelming erotic retelling of “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland,” which, by the way, stands to be further unpacked, to voyeuristically listening to dragons “do it.” From the overused tall, dark and handsome rogue that makes the overpowered protagonist magically climax for several minutes, to genetically justifying gender roles — Omegaverse — and beyond, I’ve come to the same conclusion:

I cannot believe that people exist who would willingly pay for cliche, forgettable writing when you could get it for free online.

I haven’t read many of these books recently, but I’ve noticed these mounting problems since my teen years when I would obsessively read every A-Noun-of-Noun-andAnother-Noun-esque titled text, or comb through the endless amount of free amateur writing and fanfiction overwhelming my digital experience.

What was once invigorating is now boring. It feels the same in every sense: from plot to character to title to lack of editing. To me, this cringe disappointment is most obvious in smut and romance.

I truly believe that any idea can turn into good media so long as the author and editors are up to the surprisingly difficult challenge of writing well. Authors’ voices now sound the same, plots and worlds are the same,= and writers feel as though they need

to spoon-feed information to the audience. I genuinely believe that people can find the same satisfaction in free, amateur writing online. If you waste money on mid-erotica, consider making a Tumblr account instead.

Still, I am happy that this market is dominated by women on both the supplier and consumer ends. It must be better for us women, reading content made for us, actually being written by us for once. Isn’t this what we wanted? Fiction is fiction, right?

In Oscar Wilde’s “The Picture of Dorian Gray,” he wrote, “There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well-written, or badly written. That is all.”

Reading and writing shallow, careless content is a dangerous path to tread. When so many people fantasize and promote the same questionable kinks in a superficial, boring, unoriginal manner, what does that imply about our culture?

At what point is my gratitude — that erotica written by people other than cis-het men can be pushed to the forefront of publishing — overridden by the truth that with this increase in access to shallow writing, authors and publishers are pushing unhealthy standards to an unaware group?

What does it mean to live with these standards of writing quality in a time when anti-intellectualism efforts are a looming and active threat to American society? How will today’s markets affect future authorship and future publishing?

I’m not sure. Maybe comparison is the thief of joy. The problem with lack of style and ability is not specific to the genres I mentioned above but is indicative of publishing culture as a whole, where authors and editors are competing with others, underpaid, overworked and directed to focus on cash over caliber of writing.

Many artists of all mediums are directed by their bosses towards fast output and catering to the market rather than promoting art that will stand the test of time.

I still think people should enjoy what they want without heckling, but there should also exist a question of how today’s art and entertainment reflects real-life culture and beyond.

Authors, readers, please, let us stop settling for mediocre writing that we’re never going to remember anyway.

Humor

Dr. Times workplace advice

NATALIE MCEWAN

Opinions and Humor Editor

LAUREN PRATTIS

Audience Editor

Summer and graduation are just around the corner, and with that comes internship applications, summer jobs and postgraduate opportunities that may all make you want to rip your hair out. But don’t fret, Rams! Dr. Times, resident expert, is here to answer all your questions about the workplace.

Dear Dr. Times,

I’ve never been able to nail down the “office siren” look that’s been going viral on TikTok. Do you have any tips or tricks?

Sincerely, Not filling out a pantsuit

Dear Reader,

Another client was telling me about this new trend. I don’t believe in the internet so I’m not all that tuned into what the kids are doing these days, but I’ll give it my best shot.

I think the best way to execute the look is to fully immerse yourself into siren culture. Take a few voice lessons to make sure your singing voice is in the best shape possible — your coworkers are bound to be absolutely captivated.

From what I understand, you can’t buy the attire at the mall, so you’re going to have to collect the shells from the ocean and make it yourself.

I just have one quick question for you — is your office in the middle of the Atlantic? Please let me know.

Wear your sunscreen, Dr. Times

Dear Dr. Times,

Joke of the week

“I went to a general store. They wouldn’t let me buy anything specifically.”

I applied for an internship and I haven’t heard back in months. I need advice on what to do, I’m desperate!

Sincerely,

Broke and bored

Dear Reader,

You want to make sure that you stand out from the other applicants to the hiring managers. Deliver a few boxes of powdered sugar donuts to the office — make sure to send the powder separately, that way the donuts are fresh when they arrive. Put the white powder in a separate, unlabeled envelope so its sugary goodness is more of a surprise.

Wear all black and dark sunglasses, and circle the office during the day — it’s spring so you need to protect yourself from the sun! The company will see you and know you’re a committed candidate.

Happy interning, Dr. Times

stand out in a giant pile of boring papers. Comic Sans MS is the most readable font, so you should change your resume to that font. Finally, change the color of your text to red. Not only will it make your resume look super cool, it also will make the hiring manager see you as a bold, decisive employee. With these tips, it won’t matter what you actually put on the resume. Though, one piece of advice, make sure to put every job you’ve ever had. Don’t worry how long it is! The right job will recognize all of your success.

Wishing you the best of luck, Dr. Times

Dear Dr. Times,

I’m currently working a service job at a restaurant, but my dream is to be an artist. How do I get myself out there while at this in-between job?

Sincerely, Drawing on napkins

Dear Reader,

Dear Dr. Times,

I’m about to graduate. What should I put on my resume to hear back from job applications?

Sincerely,

An uninteresting person

Dear Reader,

I’ve heard of a troubling trend that people now apply to hundreds, even thousands, of jobs and don’t hear back. Luckily, I know just the psychological tricks to help your resume stand out from the crowd.

First, you want to make sure your resume stands out visually. Put a giant headshot of your face, preferably in a cool corporate outfit like a neon purple suit with shoulder pads, in the top right corner of the resume.

You also want to make sure the hiring manager can see your resume from a mile away. Make it

Don’t let the job you have stop you from getting the job you want! Start every shift by bringing lots of paintings into work. Store them in the walk-in refrigerator. Then, present a painting with every check you bring to a table and add the painting onto the check!

Any good customer would either recognize the value of the painting or not even notice the additional charge. You’ll make more tips than ever and soon your paintings will become so famous you won’t even need to go through the restaurant as an intermediary.

If an ungrateful customer happens to complain, just remind them that this is a preferable experience than being confronted with a turned-around tip tablet. That threat should keep them at bay.

Get that sale, Dr. Times

Editor’s Note: The characters and events depicted in this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.