May/June 2022 Issue
Inspiring Communities Everywhere! MANHOOD The Thought, The Walk Cover Story pg. 30
Dwight Williams Community Hero pg. 10
The Art, The Focus Authors Speak pg. 23 www.vandpmediaproductions.com
Community News Flash
You Get to Choose
By Marjorie Middleton & Karen McConnell-Jones
I
t has been voiced that from time to time we all have “worn our emotions on our sleeves” in front of a small group of close family or friends, and sometimes in a display for a much larger crowd, which can lead to consequences we’d not even considered. But it really is true...people can look at you and think they know you by your appearance or demeanor, when in fact they never know who you really are until you share your words and actions. Our wisdom and humility can have us to be remembered in a positive light or our reaction can have us spending forever trying to erase the remembrance of our bad behavior. At the end of the day, we are in charge of how we are remembered. At the 94th Academy Awards ceremony (March 27, 2022), Will Smith…actor, rapper and film producer…became the “first rapper to win an acting Oscar, 33 years after he became the first musician to win a Grammy for rap music.” (Wikipedia) Phenomenal accomplishments. Will has had much commercial success with music, television and motion pictures and has been married for 25 years to his wife, Jada Pinkett-Smith. He has 3 children, the oldest from his first marriage. On that night, when slated to become only the 5th Black actor to win an Academy Award, Will made what appeared to be an emotional decision to rise from his seat and walk to the stage to smack the host, Chris Rock. He smacked him because Chris, a comedian, made a joke about Will’s wife. Afterwards, Will went back to his seat and proceeded to curse and yell at the host/comedian. Black men are incessantly watched, judged and ridiculed more than any other male on the planet. That can be a deterrent or it can be an incentive. Take those eyes as encouragement to be your best, brothers, do your best. Take those eyes as encouragement to be leaders and great role models. Take those eyes and make sure they stay on the Black Kings that you are.
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Our character is what defines us and our actions are what is seen, what is looked upon as part of our character traits. What do your character traits say about you? Yes, character traits are a part of one’s behavior and attitude that helps to make up one’s personality, whether good or bad. So, remember, you get to choose and your choices are impressionable. Our men are sons, fathers, brothers, grandfathers. Our men represent life. Our men represent power. They represent a higher faith. As we encourage, we build. As we build, we grow. As we grow, we take time to make good and right decisions and choices. We do not profess to know what will come from the incident at the Academy Awards for Chris or Will, besides Will being banned for 10 years, but we do know this is a teachable moment for fathers with their sons. We do know that from this side of it, as a spectator, it appears that Chris showed the world what real MANHOOD looks like and how a gentleman should act…he didn’t fight nor yell back. He has said not one rude thing about his brother. It appears that Will has the opportunity to teach how to better handle hurt, disappointment and anger. We all are responsible for our actions and should take the responsibility of amends if we’ve made bad choices. Here are the takeaways: - It’s not for any of us to judge our brother (or sister). - We all have made quick and unhealthy decisions at some point and time in our lives and have received God’s grace. - We must not stand in judgment, as this too shall pass. - We must allow for the situation to be released. - Let go and let God, as He is a forgiving God and the last to give authority over us. - He grants us another day to make things better. Matthew 7:1-2 (NIV): “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
You get to choose.
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In appreciation of how art imitates life, Johns speaks to the power of family depicted in the Godfather films. “The loyalty that the movie taught. The family dynamic that it taught; it was something to see.” With strong examples in life and art, the magnetic pulse of Fatherhood inspired Johns. “When I became a father at the young age of 22, it shaped my life in a way that I knew I wasn’t going away to school, I knew I wasn’t going away to the service. I didn’t marry her mother, but I knew I had to be here for support, in whatever way that I understood the meaning of support, back then.” He adds, “I had two very strong mothers of my biological children. I wanted to be reliable for my children so that if you needed me, I’m reachable and I always answered my phone in case it was one of their moms. Fatherhood and parenting really shaped my life. I now have four adult daughters, two by birth, two by marriage and I love all my daughters tremendously.” It’s a modern family portrait of distinctiveness that Johns, an accomplished photographer, can appreciate. Whether covering an event for a client, capturing a cityscape or a timeless portrait, for Johns, excellent learning has transpired behind the lenses. “How to see things differently.” The craft has also been his passport. “It’s gotten me into a lot of rooms that I would not have gotten into had it not been for the camera. Likewise, it has emphasized the soft skills too, “Patience, sometimes you just have to wait for that shot and it taught me to always be ready.” Johns utilizes XM/Sirius radio and Apple music to source for music that he can listen to in the car during the commute to and from the office. By day, Johns is an Office Services Supervisor at a major law firm in downtown Washington, DC and he brings a vibrant vision to his leadership role. “In the professional world, my father told me that everybody is not going to like you, no matter what you do or say. When I walk into a situation, I keep my head up high, I say what I know to be correct, to the best of my ability and I make sure that I lead with the truth and never ask anybody to do anything that I wouldn’t do.”
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Back at home, it’s classic jazz, soul and funk albums that he plays on his turntable while assuming the after-work role as boss of the pool table during fellowship moments with the brethren in his pool room. “First of all, when brothers come over to shoot pool with me, I very seldom have anybody over to my house that I don’t love.” When asked if his wife Pam shoots, he says, “Pam even comes downstairs every blue moon and hits with me.” Therein, he shares about the blessing of marriage and partnership. “Oh, my goodness, it’s so awesome. Having a super lady in your life that happens to become your wife is just biblical. The same accountability that I took on that I didn’t want to bring any foolishness to my parents, I take the same toward Pam. With enthusiasm he adds, “He who finds a wife, findeth a good thing. For ten years we’ve been married. A queen wants a king. Her being like she is has made me want to be better.”
Mr. and Mrs. Johns are members of Mt. Ennon Baptist Church where he is a Deacon. It’s a large church located in Clinton, Maryland providing a host of outreach for its members and community. Regarding men, in the church, Johns referenced the bond that adds strength. “We support each other, number one, by knowing how each other is walking. For example, by seeing one of our brothers walk by in the narthex looking a little different that day and not quite themselves, so I’m just going to stop him, politely, and say, “Hey brother, how are you doing today?” Prayerfully, we’ll exchange what is needed and go from there.” During the pandemic, face to face impact was not available and zoom, as well as, streaming were the fellowship options. Likewise, Johns utilizes online platforms for continued self development. “In this day and age, you have to also engage in mentorship through technology. I know I do. I’ll watch recordings of Ted Talks and other leaders speaking.” Recently, Johns put one of his bass guitars in the shop for repair. As well, he contemplates his future with the instrument. “I would like to purchase an upright bass and have that as my instrument of choice going forward. Perhaps have my childhood friend and professional upright bass player Pepe Gonzales show me some things.” Like life itself, the art of Gregory Johns continues to evolve. What The Guitar Has Taught You: You’re only as good as you make yourself; Consistency will get you ahead; Perfect practice makes perfect. Gregory’s Favorite Quote: If you turn a wall sideways it turns into a bridge - Angela Davis Gregory’s Favorite Scripture: He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. - Psalm 91:1 (NKJV) Gregory’s Three Keys To Success: Family; Gratitude; Authenticity. Gregory’s Definition of Manhood: I think manhood comes from within for each individual but manhood as a whole has a lot to do with resilience. Manhood is being consistent with your right and wrong. But it’s not moving the mountain first, it’s moving the pebble each and every day. Just move the pebble.
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Martina Turner said “I admire the strength, confidence, intelligence, being a protector for his family, and a God-fearing man.”
The Men of V&P Ask The Women of V&P -
What Do You Admire About Men?
Belinda Stevenson said” “Their strength, intelligence, and unwavering support for our dreams and aspirations”
Kyonna Brown said: “I admire men who can understand that females must lead in some roles. The vulnerability they have to encompass speaks strength to their masculinity.”
Michele DeMarcia Davis said:
Krystal Glenn said: Dominique Massaquoi said: “I admire that in today’s generation men are not giving up on mental stability”.
“I admire Godly men’s strength, patience and love while managing their emotions and leading their families/communities”
“I admire men’s physical strength and their ability to lead.”
Karen Clay said: “The man who can profess, provide and protect relative to his loved ones and family.”
Marjorie Middleton said: “Although beauty is in the eye of the beholder, the most impressive trait in men is HONESTY”an”
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Karen McConnell-Jones said: “A man who has a strong/confident presence about himself yet knows when to show his vulnerable side”
Women Asked...
Q&A
DOMINIQUE MASSAQUOI How does it feel that society constantly makes you carry everything on your back?
KAREN CLAY Why are so many men unable to express their feelings?
KAREN MCCONNELL-JONES When did you come into your true manhood?
Men Answered...
TONY TURNER I feel it’s part of The Most High’s design. In order to carry these burdens, we have to seek The Most High for wisdom, strength, and understanding. Learning that some things can get overwhelming, we must give our burdens to The Lord. So, It feels perplexing by design to break us, then The Most High uses this to build us up in him. For when I am weak, He is strong. The end result He gives us courage under fire.
TONY TURNER My question to this is,”Do you really want to know?” I mean would you really want to see your man crying when he is overwhelmed and depressed or angry. I think not! I think you would start to see him as a softy, I’m sugar coating my response. Unable to protect you in a time of trouble. Truth is most men don’t want to be perceived as a lame. We are brought up learning to control our emotions until we explode. Some sooner than others. TONY TURNER I would say, at age 17. That is when I moved out of my mom’s house and began supporting myself. I still had a lot to learn but I was taking responsibility for myself and my actions. Truth being told, I’m still learning at 50. JASON GREENE I would say when my first son Makaih was born back in 2008. When I first laid eyes on him my perspective completely changed. I actually felt like I was giving purpose in life and knew the need for me to become a man to make sure he was cared for properly.
KAREN MCCONNELL-JONES One thing that must be in your daily manhood walk?
KRYSTAL GLENN Why is it so difficult for men to express/ share their emotions?
MARJORIE MIDDLETON Do men feel the desire to protect women, instinctively; or, do they feel inadequate?
SETH WASHINGTON Prayer and meditation, as I’ve gotten older the value of them and their connection to my daily success is so apparent.
SETH WASHINGTON I believe the man’s emotional pathway is by nature more narrowly defined and this could be a purposeful partnership, counterbalance to women. That said, I believe men navigate emotions more effectively thru understanding cause and effect. So, as we learn more of the appropriate thought structure and language skills around this, we’ll express better. JASON GREENE I believe I desire to protect women, it doesn’t matter to me if I know the woman or not. If I feel that she feels threatened I will definitely step up like it’s 2nd nature. Vision & Purpose Community Magazine 55