September 2019 . Issue 8.9
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Steamboat Springs Hayden Oak Creek Yampa
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September 2019
Valley Voice
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For those who live here and for those who wish they did.
Valley Voice
September 2019
Contents Not in Session But the Work Continues
Page 4
Community Snapshots
Page 5
Trails Are Good: Part III
Page 6
You Spend More Money Using Credit
Page 7
An Artist's Experiences: Part III
Page 8
I Can't See My Toes
Page 9
By Dylan Roberts
By Robin Crossan By Aryeh Copa
By Scott L. Ford
By Ellen & Paul Bonnifield By Bill Martin
Online Dating is All about the photos
Page 10
Hamlet in a Church?
Page 11
Big, Eventful Year for Hayden Schools
Page 12
By Mr. Helpful M.D. By Stuart Handloff
Publisher/Art Director: Matt Scharf mattscharf1@gmail.com
By Brodie Farquhar
Accounts Manager:
Scott Ford
Yampa, Yampa, Yampa!
Page 17
Sales:
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Hunting for Anomalies
Page 18
Event Calendar:
Eric Kemper ericvalleyvoice@gmail.com
Valley Voice is published monthly and distributed on the last Wednesday of each month. Please address letters, questions, comments or concerns to: Valley Voice, LLC, P.O. Box 770743 or come by and see us at 1125 Lincoln Ave, Unit 2C, Steamboat Springs, CO 80477. Or contact Matt Scharf: 970-846-3801. Scott Ford: 970-819-9630. Website www.valleyvoicecolorado.com. Subscription rate is $40 per year (12 issues). All content © 2019 Valley Voice, L.L.C. No portion of the contents of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission from the Valley Voice.
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By Karen Vail
By Wolf Bennett
Crackers Page 19 By Aimee Kimmey
Excuses, Excuses, Excuses
Page 19
Something to Crow About
Page 20
A Herbalist's Dream
Page 21
Sophia AI and Me
Page 21
Careful Where You Look
Page 22
By Sean Derning By Sean Derning
By Jenna Handloff By Fran Conlon
By Shaney McCoy, MEd, CMHC, LPC
Sweet Sophie Page 22 By Joan Remy
Back to the Basics
Page 23
Calendar of FREE Events
Page 24
By Eric Kemper By Eric Kemper
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Rants... Closing lots of streets on a weekday for a bike race. “We didn’t realize you ALL work…” Hoping that parents would believe you over their own child… Buying beer at the grocery store before pontificating on the importance of supporting local boutiques… Being “Not sure what happened,” when the answer is plain on its face… When you just fail to even try… Losing your teeth without your permission… U turns on Lincoln Avenue…
Raves... BMK = Badass Mountain Kids… Unanimous re-election… Late summer pool days without a worry in the world… Paying back good friends without interest… Getting out on the motorcycle and discovering longer loops… Reversing your diabetes with good old fashion healthy habits… The anticipation, even in September, for the big winter ahead…
Say What?... “So you’re riding a Harley. What a lovely way to tell the world you’re at least 70?” “You mean you can’t nuke a hurricane? How come for why not?” “Aren’t you a little too old to be acting that old?” “Are you talking about reversing environmental protections in Steamboat? That’s crazy stupid!” “What does a Mad Rabbit look like? Mad?” "Now that's groovy!"
Yampuzzler Page 25 By Bruce "Steamboat" Springsdean
Yepelloscopes Page 26 By Chelsea Yepello
Comics Page 27
We go to press September 30th for the October 2019 issue! Send in your submissions by September 15th!
PUTTING CARE INTO HEALTHCARE LEVEL IV TRAUMA CERTIFIED
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September 2019
September Valley Voice
Braaaaap! By Matt Scharf
Valley Voice
State Representative/ Eagle and Routt Counties
Not in Session But the Work Continues By Dylan Roberts Now what happens between the end of the session and when we return back the Capitol in Denver for the 2020 legislative session? This “interim” period is a time where we can all take a step back from the time-crunched 120day legislative session and both work on the implementation of what was passed at the legislature as well as take a long and detailed look at what is ahead.
The Rampart Range Motorcycle Committee has put on a poker run south of Denver twice a year for decades. I have participated in this fun event a few times over the years. I mostly concentrated on racing the RMEC (Rocky Mountain Enduro Circuit). I know Rampart Range well and it’s a wonderful area and a great place to twist a grip. If you want to enjoy “A” rider speeds, you have to get there early to avoid the crowds. The VV cover doesn’t relate to anything inside this issue, but it is something I’ve wanted to print for years. Not necessarily a photo of me, but of a dirt bike going through the woods at speed. It’s nothing deeper than that I just love dirt bikes. But in reality, it’s the meat of the paper that really matters. I often describe the VV as an art and entertainment magazine but it’s more eclectic than anything else. It’s all over the place. We have both the “Bonnifield Files” that covers the history of our area, and Mr. Helpful’s funny and informative dating guide. Just look to your right! Yes, that’s Dylan Roberts, our state representative for this area! We appreciate your updates. Look a little farther right, that’s one of our city council members – Robin Crossan! City council members take turns every month relaying their thoughts on the pulse of our city. It is a great addition to the VV. You can also read Wolf Bennett’s deep analysis of the human mind or laugh out loud to Aimee Kimmey’s “Tales from the Front Desk,” which are all true stories. I am sure you will enjoy Bill Martin’s take on community visions and planning in Steamboat Springs. Don’t miss Scott Ford’s advice on your financial woes. I am sure you have woes. Chelsea Yepello’s “Yepelloscopes” is always a hoot. I also want to thank our regular poets: Fran Conlon and Joan Remy. Brodie Farquar is our Hayden correspondent who informs us of what’s going on 17 miles west.
So what happens now? The Colorado legislature adjourned on May 3rd but that does not mean that the work of serving our districts ends for the year. In fact, the summer and fall are just as busy as ever. I am particularly lucky because I have the distinct pleasure of continuing my legislative work back home in beautiful House District 26 and with all of you in Eagle and Routt Counties. As you have read in this column before, the 2019 legislative session was an historic one for many reasons. We passed 460 bills and the Governor signed 455 of them - and 96% of those bills received bipartisan support. We tackled the most pressing issues facing the state and found bipartisan consensus on solutions that will bring down the cost of health care and insurance, made historic investment in our education system, became national leaders for combating climate change and environmental protection, and put over $300 million more into funding our roads.
Highlighted in this issue is Aryeh Copa’s “Trails are Good – Part III.” It is about a contentious debate on the future of our trails. It’s a must read. What I’m really excited about is that we now have a crossword puzzle specifically crafted for the Valley Voice! Bruce Dean, a.k.a. Bruce "Steamboat" Springsdean has created the “Yampuzzler.” A lot of the clues and answers are about our area, old and new. It is a welcome addition to the Valley Voice. Thanks Bruce! I want to thank all of our advertisers. The Valley Voice could not exist without you. To all the contributors, regular or not, you make the Valley Voice the voice of Routt County and beyond. Thank you!
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For those who live here and for those who wish they did.
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First, looking back. Now that the dust on the session is settling, there are several key pieces of legislation that were passed that are now in the process of implementation. One is my priority legislation: a bill I crafted with Senator Kerry Donovan (D) and Representative Marc Catlin (R) to create a public health insurance option so that residents in Colorado, especially in our mountain communities who have so little choice, can have competition and lower prices in the health insurance markets. That bill, HB1004 T L , was passed with a large bipartisan vote and was writa ten in a way that gives the executive branch and nongovernment stakeholders a say in crafting the plan. The p last thing we wanted to do was mandate policy that was t unworkable so the bill allows for this interim period as a c time for the plan to be crafted with an extensive outreach c and data-driven process so we can come up with the best t and most affordable plan for Colorado. There have been k many meetings held across the state hosted by state agenA cies and there are more to come before they are due to present the plan back to us at the legislature in November. M Then we will take that plan, make tweaks if needed, and l a get it ready for implementation next year. c Also exciting news out of this interim is the reinsurance n program I co-sponsored. On July 31st, the federal govern- f c ment granted the waiver to implement this program in Colorado and that means that on January 1, 2020, health s insurance premiums for plans purchased on the individual market will drop by 18% statewide and over 29% in our M mountain counties – that’s $9,000 of savings per year for s t Routt County families. s Looking forward, during this interim I have the honor of o serving as the Vice Chair of the Water Resources Review c Committee. As a Western Colorado native, I may be biased I believe this is probably the most important committee for our state’s future. This body has the chance to study the state of our water resources, help plan for future dry years, and consider legislation for next year. Given how complicated yet important water policy is in our state, it is so important that this bipartisan committee has the chance to meet, call expert testimony, and study issues in a methodical way so that we get it right. Day to day, I continue meet with constituents across Eagle and Routt Counties, confer with officials in Denver, and attend meetings on your behalf. If you ever have a question, comment, want to meet, or have an idea for the future, please contact me on my cell: (970) 846-3054 or e-mail: Dylan.Roberts.House@state.co.us. Dylan Roberts is the State Representative for Colorado House District 26, encompassing Eagle and Routt Counties.
Valley Voice
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September 2019
City Council Voices
Community Snapshots By Robin Crossan/ City Council - District 1 Our community may mean different things to different people, but at its core, we are all joined by the same traits of this unique mountain location. Let’s look at three quick community interactions and how those play a role in defining who we are as a city. The other day I saw some people in their cars at a light on Lincoln. They were shouting at each other while stopped at a red light. I hoped they knew each other and were simply saying hi, but that wasn’t the case. It made me start to think about all of us in our small, but mighty community, called Steamboat Springs and what might have been the cause of being so upset with each other. Have we started to allow the outside world to influence us and not really know it? Another story from a friend was about a family from the Midwest. The dad couldn’t understand why things took a little longer to get done here. The Steamboat real estate agent, after many conversations, suggested the man might consider staying in his hometown as Steamboat might not be a good fit for him. The man wasn’t too pleased. Fast forward, he eventually moved here for a year to try it out, called his agent and apologized because now, he understood what made Steamboat tick. My third story has a guest wowed beyond belief when he saw a Steamboat Springs Transit driver hop into action to clean up the community. The bus driver, while at a bus stop, got out of the vehicle and picked up trash on the side of the road. Not something seen by many transit riders in communities across the country.
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With all the hustle and bustle, it seems like we are going faster all the time. We need to take some time to sit back, smell the roses and remember how important it is to be kind to one another. What does that really mean? To paraphrase the American Heritage Dictionary definition, kind is “of a friendly, generous or warmhearted nature, showing sympathy or understanding, humane, forbearing, generous, agreeable”. WOW! Let’s look at a few of those definitions:
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Friendly - We are “genuinely friendly” in our community. Visitors and new neighbors tell us that all the time. That’s why many folks move here. Our ranching community is the best and has been so kind to welcome all of us over the past 100 plus years.
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Generous - This community is generous beyond anything I have ever seen. From the arts to non-profits, youth and schools, we outpace so many other communities with our generous nature. (#1 in Top 10 Most Generous US Cities for GoFundMe, Dec. 2018)
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Sympathy - When something not so great happens, we rally around the families in need whether its contributing to build a new soccer field, donating winter coats for those in need, providing school supplies so all kids going back to school start positively or making a dinner for a neighbor. We all come together to make it happen in many different ways.
1117 Lincoln Steamboat Springs
Farmers Market Booth
Humane - We have feelings and we let them show. Council appreciates being thanked as equally as hearing from those who have different perspectives and opinions.
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So, maybe we can take that extra minute and a deep breath to be kind to ourselves - we deserve it. And then, we can reinforce what we already do so well, or take that extra step to be kind to another person in our community. Scott Ford has many times compared Steamboat Springs to being a special snowflake. I hope everyone in our community will always remember that Steamboat is certainly a very “Special Snowflake” because of each and every one of us and the special gifts we bring to each other and our community.
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By all these lovely tokens September days are here, with summer’s best of weather and autumn’s best of cheer.—Helen Hunt Jackson
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September 2019
Valley Voice
Steamboat Springs Trails Alliance
Steady!
Trails Are Good: Part III By Aryeh Copa The Past
Downtown Yampa 970.638.4531
Hunting Season is around the corner. Are you ready?
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As someone that has lived in Routt County for the vast majority of my life, I have seen many changes as our population has increased and Steamboat has become more popular as a destination resort. In the early 90’s there were real mud seasons - 90% of local businesses’ would close for the month of May as, it seemed, the whole town would go on vacation. Lincoln Avenue would be desolate, albeit a few sleeping dogs who’s owners were still here working on remodels or updates to main street businesses’. The occasional car would drive around the dogs who would barely lift their heads as they passed, and it was easy to notice that the downtown thoroughfare was close to 100 feet across. At the time, it seemed like such overkill to have Lincoln Avenue so wide, a massive empty expanse between the buildings on opposite sides of the street. Now, with our endless traffic, it could be seen as genius future planning. However, that seven-lane width is actually a relic of our western heritage, from a time when cattle drives were so large that it was necessary to plan roads for their girth.
The Future Those quiet times are long past and unlikely to return anytime soon. Traffic seems to get worse by the day and finding a parking spot downtown can be an effort in futility. And it is only getting worse. As we speak, there are so many homes already approved for future builds that there are literally thousands of additional beds and residents (and drivers) coming in the next few years. On top of that, the City of Steamboat Springs is insatiably marketed as a tourist destination to the point of replacing the very name of the town with monikers like: Ski Town USA, Bike Town USA, Dog Town USA, etc., of which only the first one has any legitimacy at all. With all of our social media posts touting the beauty of our valley, is additional marketing even necessary? The latest Mad Rabbit Proposal, recently presented by the USFS, focuses on trail expansion on Rabbit Ears Pass and the Highway 40 corridor. By doing this they are diverting traffic away from neighborhoods and the very congested downtown area while reducing habitat fragmentation by placing trails in an area of existing human disturbance. Serving the needs of the local trail using community will also serve visitors. Many local residents do not want to see more tourism or increased traffic (myself included) but, without population control or a culling of the human herd, it is inevitable. I believe that tourists coming to use trails will have the least negative impact on traffic as they are the most likely to be active and walk or ride bikes where others would drive motor vehicles.
Bad Apples Properly planned trails are good, but that doesn’t mean all trail users are, and every user group has its share of bad actors. As we strive to serve all trail users while protecting natural resources and wildlife, the bad actors among us make that more difficult and contribute to resource destruction and habitat degradation, whether they realize it or not.
For those who live here and for those who wish they did.
One of the worst things trail users can do is violate wildlife closures. I have heard people say “but I am only one person, how much harm can I do?” The answer is – “a lot”, especially if you are with a dog. And how many people are doing and thinking the same thing? Although deer may flush only a few feet and happily watch as we pass on a trail they are habituated to, elk are much more skittish and have likely flushed before you ever saw them. Welcome to Entitlement Town USA, where NIMBYism and Me Me’ism reigns strong. We have the Not In My Back Yard folk who only speak up to oppose something when it encroaches on, well, their back yard. And my favorite, the Me Me’s that think the world revolves around them, never participate in a process, but then complain when they do not get exactly what they want.
Hikers There is an ironic double standard here where trails that existed for many years only became a problem when mountain bikers discovered them and started using them. The very people that had been using these trails for years got outraged when they saw bikers on them, then vilified that user group and blamed them for building the trails in the first place.
Bikers As a mountain biker, I am well aware that we have our share of bad actors as well, and when it comes to Me Me’s, we might be the worst - “why aren’t you building what I want, where I want it, how I want it, now?” These are the ones that complain about the two or three turns, out of miles of new trail, that they do not like. Or the riders that complain that the trails are too difficult and want only easy, beginner trails that fit their ability level. There are riders on the other end of the spectrum also that say mountain biking is hard and should stay that way and want only expert trails. One quickly learns that you can never please everyone and must instead focus on the entire community and try to provide diverse user experiences that provide something for everyone. Not every trail is for everyone, and different trails should have different flavors and levels of difficulty. Trying to build all trails for everyone often results in boring trails that actually serve no one. Of course, the well-rounded rider will enjoy all types of trails, from easy flowing beginner trails to technical and challenging, advanced trails. At a recent PTBA (Professional Trail Builders Association) trail building seminar I attended in Grand Junction, long time trail builder Tony Boone started one of the sessions with the question, “does anyone know the one sure way to piss off mountain bikers?” His answer: “build them a trail”.
Hunters
As a hunter, it infuriates me that a vocal minority is trying to force a rift between hunters and bikers and pitting wildlife against trails, when we should be working together to provide trail opportunities for both while protecting wildlife habitat. I personally reached out to all user groups and asked for participation in the process many years ago,
Valley Voice
September 2019
7
Your Money - Your Life only hunters and equestrians refused to participate. One of the very hunters I asked to participate, now sits on the board of the opposition group, still unwilling to discuss or compromise. In order to protect our local ungulates and hunting heritage, trails must be properly planned now to avoid the most sensitive wildlife habitat. As hunters regularly use trails, and E-bikes are being advertised in hunting publications as ”the modern day horse”, the idea of pitting biker and trails against hunting and wildlife, is archaic and flat out wrong. I should not even have to be writing this, but the misinformation must be corrected.
Dishonesty I am, and always have been, open to discussion and compromise with any and all interested parties. However, I have no respect for those that choose to lie and spread misinformation about this process in order to fool the public into opposing a widely supported, properly planned and funded, public benefit project. There are some major lies being spread that are flat-out insults to myself, and all that have been involved in the extensive planning of this project. Here are just a few. 1. That wildlife was never taken into account when this trails proposal was being developed. 2. That the public was not involved when this trail proposal was being developed. 3. That trails will drive all wildlife out of Routt County (or have already on Emerald, the ski area and now Buffalo Pass). 4. That mountain bikers do not care about wildlife. 5. That Eagle County’s elk herd reduction was due to trails. Those statements are completely untrue and have little to no evidence to support them. Willful dishonesty does not even deserve a seat at the table.
Environmental Stewardship I care at least as much about wildlife as I do about trail development. As a matter of fact, they go hand-in-hand. My passion for wildlife is one of the motivating factors to properly plan future trail development in an environmentally friendly manner. I am a mountain biker and hunter and involved Colorado Department of Wildlife employees in the very early stages of the Trails Alliance planning to address wildlife concerns. If the opposition group actually was a conservation organization, and paid attention to this process that has considered wildlife impacts from the beginning, they would not be opposition at all, but partners in this public process. We must plan for a growing population that wants to recreate on public land, and protect wildlife habitat by giving people a controlled path to use rather then traipsing through the forest on whatever existing game trails provide the path of least resistance. There is not much that is more displacing to wildlife than using the trails created by that wildlife. This is why ethical hunters, and any true conservationist, should support properly planned trails that use the NEPA (National Environmental Policy Act) process to ensure protection of natural resources and wildlife.
You Spend More Money When You Use a Credit Card By Scott L. Ford
I know a lot of folks that consider themselves to be fiscally prudent that use their credit cards to pay for almost everything. They claim that they pay off the outstanding balance in full every month. They boast that they are “playing” the system to their advantage because they are racking up tons of reward points (air miles) and cash back bonuses. They think that they are personal finance masterminds. The thought of using cash instead of their favorite “reward” credit card rarely crosses their mind.
accurate, and I know this to be true, because credit card companies have convinced very smart people that they can get something for nothing. A lot of savvy, intelligent folks start smiling every time they get $3 cash back on a $100 purchase. However, could that $100 purchase have been $80 if they had used cash? The bottom-line is that they often spent $20 more in order to receive $3 cash back. The only folks that are laughing all the way to the bank are the credit card companies.
The reason that I bring this up is that I am definitely in the minority when it comes to the use of credit cards. Many of you think they are a treasured tool if used responsibly. I think they are a trap. They lure you in to make it look like you can play the system by racking up all of the reward points. Without question the lure of points cause you to spend more.
I know that many of you will still vehemently disagree with me on this one. You’ll swear up and down that this doesn’t happen to you. The only thing that I ask from you is to honestly analyze whether it’s worth it to use credit cards. Will it really impair your life that much to give them up? Be honest with yourself and be conscious next time you go out to eat and use a credit card. Try to identify if there is any temptation to spend more than you want to spend, because you know that $25 more won’t break your bank at the end of the month. Do that, and if there’s still no temptation, then come yell at me and tell me how much of an idiot I am for not getting 3% cash back on a credit card.
From my perspective, this all ties back to the need to have a written monthly budget. According to a Gallup poll, about one-third of American households claim they have a written monthly budget. This may be true, but I think less than 50% of these households claiming to have a budget actually follow it. This simply means that about 20% of households have a “working” budget and 80% of households “wing-it” from month to month. My “wingingit” opinion is supported by a study done by CareerBuilder earlier this year that 78% of American workers live paycheck to paycheck. This percentage holds true regardless of household income. I guess we collectively think we are being patriotic citizens by supporting the American consumer economy by spending basically everything we earn. If you often find yourself at the end of the month wondering where all your money went, look no further than your usage of credit cards and lack of a working budget that you faithfully follow. Allow me to illustrate. Let’s say you go out to eat with $50 cash in your wallet that you budgeted for eating out. You go into the restaurant knowing that you only have $50 to spend, so there’s no way that you can leave spending more than $50. Now, let’s say you go out to eat with the same $50 budget, but you intend on paying with a credit card. There will be NO immediate penalty if you spend more than $50. The temptation to break the budget is much greater than those who came in with cash. In fact, you are likely to rationalize spending more than what you budgeted because of the “rewards” the credit card offers. I have done this myself. So instead of spending only $50 – I went home having spent $75. As quoted by Dave Ramsey, “debt is the most aggressively marketed product on the planet.s” This statement is 100%
Next Month – Where to start when you are finally sick and tired of being in debt.
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September 2019
Valley Voice
Organic . Healthy . Fun
Bonnifield Files
Going Western: An Outstanding Artist's Experiences at Hayden By Ellen and Paul Bonnifield
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Frank Tenney Johnson is one of the foundation Western artists along with Charley Russell and Frederic Remington. In 1904, Johnson rode a stagecoach to Hayden where he stayed for two months prospecting for gold, taking part in the early summer calf roundup and the late summer beef roundup. He was fascinated by the 4th of July celebration at Craig and later the Cheyenne Frontier Days. Kid Vaughan, the much talked-about celebrated bronco rider, became an idol for Johnson. Frank always traveled with his camera and snapped many Kodak photographs of people and life in and around Hayden. He also sketched the world he saw. Each day he wrote a letter to his wife Vinnie. The collection of letters, photographs, and sketches provide an excellent look into life in northwestern Colorado as seen through one man's eyes. Johnson arrived in Hayden on May 20, 1904, rented a room for $7 per week including meals at the Oxford Hotel. Awe struck, he watched as three cowboys rode down the street wearing chaps, spurs, and guns. That night he wrote Vinnie he must purchase a horse, bridle and saddle, for it was the only way to get to the roundup.
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The next day while at church, he met a man with a pony for sale, $28, no saddle or bridle. Frank must have had connections, probably through Field and Stream magazine, paying his transportation costs. Someone loaned him a saddle, but the local people probably smiled to themselves when they saw him, a big man sitting in the saddle on a little pony with only a rope around his neck. Nevertheless, for the next few days he rode out of Hayden to sketch. While in town, not being overly bashful, he introduced himself to all the right people.
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He soon realized Pedro (the pony) was too small and traded for a larger horse. Although he owned the pony only a short time, he saw exciting country to photograph and sketch. He rode to the top of Wolf Creek divide where he saw and sketched the panorama of the Yampa Valley. He learned about a mountain lion nearby and saw a wolf on the road. He also observed the destruction of the cricket invasion. (Between 1880 and 1920, three large waves of homesteaders came into the Valley and each was accompanied with serious Mormon Cricket invasions. The period from 1900 - 1920 witnessed hundreds of homesteaders moving in and starving out.) Johnson photographed the wagons and livestock of one immigrant family. He also photographed a pack train of mules. All goods and services coming into or out of the Valley was hauled by either pack animals or wagons.
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Frank realized his pony was too small, so he traded his pony and $30 to the man with the pack mules for a larger horse. Then he photographed the man roping the new horse. This was the real West! The new horse proved to be excellent.
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He had the new horse only a day or so when he was invit- t ed to accompany three men searching for a fine mare and h colt that strayed up Elkhead Creek. Charlie was a salty s old hand whose face and hair were as red as the sunset. T Mike was an experienced 'puncher.' The trip proved much s longer and harder than expected. Found at last, the cagey l horses soon slipped away. Determined riders relocated the escapees, who were with difficulty driven into a corral B on a small ranch where they were roped. Returning, they y slid their horses down a steep bluff and Frank was beside w himself with excitement. a b As always, Frank had his Kodak with him and he took F several pictures. One shows a white bearded man with I a 1876 Winchester standing in front of a log cabin. The s homesteader/ranch family was photographed on their t horses and, of course, the two cowboys roping the mare r and other poses. These images later appeared in paintings a and illustrations. l
He told his wife, "Routt County is a land of beautiful hills E or rather small mountains covered with luxuriant grasses f and is a regular flower bed... Traveling is either up or down j all the time and mighty rough going in lots of places." r Johnson proudly boasted, he "could stay up with them P cowboys." r i The beginning of the roundup was a few days off, so he i readily accepted Mr. Wilkinson's invitation to join him and t Mr. Hall on a trip to Trappers Lake. They hauled the camp h equipment in a buckboard and two men rode horses. They b traveled south of Hayden up the Williams Fork and the m East Fork while he marveled at the canyon and its forma- s tion and vegetation. (Today when driving the gravel road, r we don't even think about being in a canyon.) Mr. Hall, a who claimed to be an old mountain man, told tales of killing a dozen grizzly bears near Trappers Lake in 1879 and T camping near the place where Ute attacked prospectors. r These were tall stories told to dudes without any truth, t but Frank enjoyed them. f t Frank was entirely engrossed living life on the real N frontier. Along the way, keeping with the frontier practice, T they shot a deer (although deer were nearly extinct at the a time) just for camp meat. He successfully caught fish in n the Williams Fork. According to Johnson, one night a wolf a (probably a coyote) howled within a few feet of their tent. w The artist in Frank was always near at hand. He studied in detail the shadows of night on rocks and crevasses. He watched Mr. Hall's face as he cooked the evening meal on the camp fire. Elements of the trip are found in several later paintings. The road was steep and primitive and to cross the divide onto the White River required four horses to pull the buckboard. Ropes were attached from the wagon tongue to the saddle horns. He later sketched
W t e a
Valley Voice
two saddle horses pulling a chuck wagon through a mud hole. After crossing the divide, they dropped down to a small stream where Frank learned they were not going to Trappers Lake after all. Wilkinson and Mr. Hall intended to search for a fabled lost gold mine. Two days they fruitlessly searched before they gave up. But a Mr. Dickey told of finding good prospecting twenty years earlier near the Thornburgh Battle site. So off they went. They did not find any gold, but Johnson discovered a treasure for later paintings. Scattered about the ground, bones of animals killed in the 1879 battle again captured Frank's artistic eye. Then he discovered rocks indicating Indian breast works. Riding near an outcropping, Frank spied petroglyphs left by ancient people. The men crossed the Williams at Hamilton and traveled up the river until reaching the road to Hayden. Along the way, Frank entered a coal mine. He was, indeed, having the adventure of a lifetime. Earlier Johnson had talked with Ed Miles, roundup boss for the Cary's Two Circle Bar ranch, who invited him to join the roundup. In late June, Frank set out to find the roundup five or six miles south of town in Twenty Mile Park. This was a big roundup, with several wagons and reps (representatives) from smaller ranches. We can only imagine what Frank thought when he and Shorty rode in. The cowboys had just finished eating and were roping their horses for the afternoon work. More than a hundred horses filled the rope corral. Many horses were only half broke to ride; some needed 'eared down' so the rider could mount. This second performance of an everyday wild west show fascinated Frank. After having his own lunch, he rode out to watch and photograph as the crew branded and sorted nearly 1000 head of cattle. The next day, Frank rode on the roundup and enjoyed the reckless races with half wild cattle trying to escape. Over the course of the roundup, he rode with the hands, made friends with Bight (Big told) the cook, and Kid Vaughan, the champion saddle bronco rider. (Vaughan won at The National Western in Denver and rode Pin Ears at Craig.) Twice, running after cattle, Johnson's horse stepped in a badger hole. The second time, the horse fell on his leg nearly breaking it. The highlight of the roundup came one afternoon when the horse wrangler allowed Johnson to watch the remuda. Frank was now a real cowboy. We are out of space for this article. Next time we will see the Craig 4th of July celebration, ride on the beef roundup, enjoy Cheyenne Frontier Days, and see life in the Hayden area in 1904.
September 2019
9
Community Vision and Planning
I Can't See My Toes By Bill Martin
Middle age creeps up on us, and for many the day arrives when you look down and realize your waist blocks the view of your toes. Immediately you flash through the five stages of grief, from denial to acceptance. The reality of a lifetime without moderation has taken its toll. Eating cheeseburgers like a college kid for breakfast, lunch and dinner doesn’t work that well when you’re 50. The good news is that with some restraint and discipline, it’s possible to stave off further expansion, and in some cases reverse the effects for improved quality of life. Community growth is similar. When my Volkswagen bus rolled into Steamboat Springs 50 years ago this December, the town was eager for growth. Then the economic engine was primarily agricultural supplies for the upper Yampa Valley. There was one traffic light on US highway 40 between Denver and Salt Lake City - in Craig. The first runs of the Steamboat Ski Area were cleared in the summer of 1962 followed by opening day in January 1963. Seeds for a new community economic engine were sown.
A community should strive for a sweet spot that creates demand for redevelopment and avoids unnecessary suburban sprawl. We can design our community for vibrant, sustainable growth that encourages infill and accepts higher densities as a tradeoff to suburban sprawl. Creative vision and planning can provide incentives for growth within the urban community, close to public transportation, trails, jobs, recreation and amenities, schools etc. The real affordable living is within the city. Proactive Colorado communities are recognizing that growth limits are a necessity. Two percent per year is a realistic, achievable target. If our elected officials fail to provide the leadership, we must seize the initiative. We need to act now. A few more cheeseburgers and our community won’t be able to see its toes.
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Over the decades, Steamboat Springs has transitioned to a vacation/resort economy. Our small town charm, scenic grandeur and resort amenities create a quality of life that’s alluring to many. All along there has been a continuous steady growth in permanent population. With growth has come prosperity, however, not without cost. In the last two decades we’ve begun to feel negative impacts of that growth, and there are concerns we may be compromising our quality of life. The US 40 corridor (Lincoln Avenue), our only roadway through town, is choked with traffic. Vehicles from crosstown to cross-country all use this main artery. If you dare to venture downtown and chance upon a parking space near your destination, you should consider it your lucky day and go buy lottery tickets. Decades ago, city water conservation measures were created and have been enforced for years. Requiring city residents to limit their water use so it may be diverted to suburban sprawl is not conservation. Overcrowding in our schools is a continuing and urgent problem. Increasing population in our city is inevitable. How our community grows is within our control. We need to accept that Steamboat Springs has limited resources; growth can’t continue “to infinity and beyond.” In the future, our community must consider regulating growth to protect our most important resource, quality of life. Ideally, a community needs a constant, controlled amount of raw land for new development. Too little, and prices escalate out of sight, as in Aspen. Too much developable land results in suburban sprawl with decaying downtown city cores, empty lots, rundown and vacant buildings and residential subdivisions mixed with industrial uses; that example is down the road in Craig.
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September 2019
Valley Voice
Mister Helpful’s Dating Guide
Online Dating is All about the Pictures
It’s all about your Happiness
By Mr. Helpful, MD
We are visual beasts hoping that someone will let us see them naked at least twice a week for months or years on end. That is life. If we are attractive enough to another person to agree to this, then Kaloo Kalay, let’s git this party started. With the invention of the Interwebs, we have moved this concept into the hundreds of choices and not merely 2 to 7 a year. However, cats and kittens, if the effort we make in portraying ourselves to the masses is underwhelming – or in fact, a bold face lie – then we have wasted not only our time, but the nano-second click 'No Thank You' of others. So – Cut the crap! Make some frickin’ effort here people! The most popular act of evil is to post pictures that make the individual look fantastic, yet “not exactly as seen in person.” I have theories as to why someone does this, but don’t give two chocolate sneakers about it. It’s a lie in pure form. The dating experience goes so much better when:
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1. Lonely human A;sees a picture of lonely human B; and thinks “Yes, Yummy.” 2. Vice versa. 3. They agree to meet face to face. 4. Upon meeting they both agree that the visual representation they saw matches the in-person experience and both sign consent forms for super happy nekkid funtime hour. 5. He calls, not just texts, the next day – like a gentleman. Unfortunately dear reader, there are those in the world that think they looked amazing in that one photo from 5 years ago and that of course they still look the same; so what’s the big dif, I’ll use it. "Remember the picture when Collen and I were laughing so much at the dog in Boston? That pic was the best – showed the right amount of cleavage and not my fat ass, right?!? Totally gonna use it." OR – I look so much like my 29 yr old son, I’ll just use these pictures of him and no one will know the difference. Completely true story about a guy who was 48. YES they looked similar but … 48, not 29. If the pictures being used are of ourselves from 4 to 5 years ago, then please label them as such. I’m very happy you want to share your trip to Japan. I went too. It was amazing, I get it. But you MUST also post pics from last night/week – clearly labeling them as such. Because that is showing the truth of who you really are Right Frickin’ Now! Recently I had two dates.
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A woman who was 4 years older and the other 3 years younger. Both nice ladies, both had very fun phone chats with me days in advance. We knew it would be a pleasant lunch (individually of course, I didn’t have them together. What’s the matter with you?).
For those who live here and for those who wish they did.
Both dates went nearly identical. They showed up and I hid my disappointment from them. Of course, they have been on dates before and at the end, could tell I wasn’t on board for any romantic adventures. And the #1 reason was – they did not look like their pictures. *If they bring lies to the table at first meeting – how delusional are they about other parts of life?!? *If they are not comfortable with who they are in the now, how comfortable will they be with you in the future? *What are you willing to let slide in order to either be happy or even just have sex?
Hmm, that was the negative slap up there – let me try this: *Bring your greatest truth to the table and ask for honesty in return. *Love yourself and then others can love you as well. *What Preferences are you willing to let go in order to accept the person in front of you? Can you throw away the Yardstick of Perfection in order to actually let someone into your life? Yeah – try those. Those are good there. I like that. I’ve re-read them about 4 times already and I wrote it. Damn it now I want a poster with a kitten hanging from a branch that has one of those at the bottom. Pictures are our first point of contact with someone in the online dating world. If we are not sharing the US from the past week, month or one year, then we are not showing what we actually look like. It’s a lie. Bodies change and faces change. Hair changes. Do it right. Have a friend help if you need help. Suggestions: - Action pics are always fun. Running, on a bike, jumping off a couch. - Silly, goofy faces. Works great. - A simple smile. Teeth or no teeth up to you. But I do suggest at least one pic where you show that you DO in fact have teeth. - From the knees UP, full body. We MUST show what we “LOOK LIKE.” - Leave out other people/children. It’s a truly bad thing I will go into later. - Include pets- YES! - Men – no shirtless pics. Women – crop out the cluttered bathroom sink from your pictures.
We can all do better! I believe in you and hope for the best in your future. If you have any questions, I’m here to help. Enjoy the new September and wonderful fall season coming your way. Many romantic walks through the colorful leaves coming your way. Happiness!
Valley Voice
September 2019
Piknik Theatre
Theatre and Spirituality: Hamlet in a Church?
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HAMLET By William Shakespeare
By Stuart Handloff
During our recent auditions for Hamlet, held at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, one of the actors who hadn’t seen our production of Macbeth last October asked, “Why are we performing here?” I answered that the church has a very supportive Reverend and congregation, that the atmosphere exudes the feeling of Shakespearean drama in the Elizabethan era, and that the altar and backstage areas rival some professional theatres. But I neglected to discuss the connection between theatre and spirituality. It’s a cliche for a performing artist to refer to their theatre as “my church,” or to their production as “a religious experience,” but the fact remains that the connection between worship and the performing arts goes back thousands of years. A recent article in the NY Times theatre section, written by Laura Collins-Hughes (https://www.nytimes. com/2019/07/02/theater/when-theater-is-a-religiousexperience.html), cites both a number of current and recent productions in Off Broadway theatres that have a religious core which drives the story. She also notes that the mingling of drama and worship goes back thousands of years to ancient Greece and the festivals of Dionysus. Both the Old and New Testaments are filled with theatrical moments: Moses at Mount Sinai, the parting of the Red Sea, Jesus walking on water, the crucifixion and resurrection. Charleton Heston and a slew of other actors have made names for themselves playing Biblical figures. The medieval passion plays that depict the Easter season in dramatic fashion are as popular today as they have been for hundreds of years. Here’s a Wikipedia description of the “The Thorn,” performed in Colorado Springs each year: “The Passion of Christ meets Cirque du Soleil, an epic portrayal of Jesus' life and death featuring indoor pyrotechnics, acrobats, aerialists, and a cast and crew of nearly 1000.” VIP seats are $50.
It’s not just for Hamlet to avenge his father’s murder. The vengeance must include a trip to the underworld for the villainous King Claudius, not salvation for his sins. The religious and theatrical collide throughout the text of Hamlet. He urges his mother, Queen Gertrude, to seek forgiveness for the sinful marriage to Claudius:
"Confess yourself to heaven; Repent what's past; avoid what is to come." Ophelia - Hamlet’s cruelly rejected girlfriend/lover - apparently kills herself by drowning. Given the church’s view of suicide as a sin, the priest forbids her burial in sacred ground. Laertes, eager to avenge his father’s death and Ophelia’s madness, seeks the death of Hamlet not just anywhere but: To cut his throat in the church. Shakespeare makes the ending of the play a final exchange of forgiveness between Laertes and Hamlet, that neither should suffer the torment of damnation:
"Exchange forgiveness with me, noble Hamlet: Mine and my father's death come not upon thee, Nor thine on me." When I was a child, one of my earliest religious experiences was sitting in a stifling hot synagogue on a September evening, clad in a sticky and itchy mohair suit, listening to the mournful solo voice singing Kol Nidre in ancient Aramaic on Yom Kippur eve. For those few minutes I was transported to a place that theatre takes me now: an emotional place that feels primeval, visceral, and outside of human experience. Divine? That’s up to you to decide but it’s the main reason that Hamlet in St. Paul’s, opening just days before Yom Kipper, 2019, is such an ideal location for a play that it may touch your soul as well as your heart.
The story of Hamlet begins when, after returning to the family castle in Elsinore for the funeral of his father who was supposedly killed by a poisonous serpent, Hamlet encounters a ghost that was apparently his father, the former King Hamlet, now suffering in Purgatory,
THURSDAY THROUGH SATURDAY Location: St. Paul's Episcopal Church 9th and Oak Streets . Steamboat Springs All tickets are $20 and available online at Eventbrite or on the website, www.pikniktheatre.org Student pricing available; contact pikniktheatre@gmail.com, 970-355-9403
"Doom'd for a certain term to walk the night, And for the day confined to fast in fires, Till the foul crimes done in my days of nature Are burnt and purged away." This encounter with the ghost sparks the events that lead to the tragic finale with bodies and blood littering the stage. Along the way, Hamlet has the opportunity to slay his murderous and incestuous uncle, but stays his action because his uncle is at prayer:
20 18 PR O GR A M BO OK A d v e r ti s i n g R a te S h e e t
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"Now might I do it pat, now he is praying; And now I'll do't. And so he goes to heaven; And so am I revenged. That would be scann'd: A villain kills my father; and for that, I, his sole son, do this same villain send To heaven? No!"
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12
September 2019
Valley Voice
Big, Eventful Year for Hayden Schools By Brodie Farquhar
The year 2019-20 will be a memorable one for students, parents and teachers of Hayden School District. Preschoolers through high school seniors are crowded into the old high school/middle school, while contractors create a preschool, elementary, middle and high school complex just blocks away on Breeze Basin Boulevard – scheduled to be open the fall of 2020-21. The $48 million construction project is underwritten by a $38.8 BEST grant from the State of Colorado – a program that funds school building rehabilitation or construction of new school buildings. The Hayden project is retaining the roof and walls of the old elementary building, but the insides and the new middle/high school will be brand new. Everyone has had to be creative in maximizing use of the existing building. Administrators and two classrooms have moved into the Babson-Carpenter Career & Technical Education Center. Three modular buildings are on order for middle school core classes, each with space for two classrooms. There has been a two-to-four week delay in delivery of the modulars, so some classrooms have been cut in half, to create more classrooms. It hasn't come to converting broom closets into classrooms, but you get the idea. This school year is also different in that it operates under a four-day school week. Days are a bit longer, as is the school year, but Fridays will be off. Since this transformative year could be stressful, the school district has adopted the theme of “Camp Tiger Paw” for the elementary students. Tiger paw prints on the walls denote where elementary students can go, and where upper classmen cannot (other than the cafeteria for lunch). Classroom doors are decorated with the image of a tent, while hallways have been muralized with images of forests and mountains.
What's next? Meanwhile, the school district, Town of Hayden and the arts community of northwestern Colorado are studying what should be done with the old school campus. The BEST grant calls for the demolition of the old buildings, whereupon the school district board can decide what it wants to do with the vacant property. Last September, this reporter wrote an article speculating about whether some parts of the current campus might survive the wreaking ball and be used by the community in the future – particularly the auditorium/stage, gymnasium and nearby rooms that are in better shape than the oldest parts of the facilities. Last March, Steamboat Springs Realtor Jim Cook and others were investigating the idea of building a hotel on the vacant property. “For years, I've heard that Hayden desperately needs a hotel. Special events in Hayden can't maximize visitation, because people dread driving back to Steamboat in the dark,” said Cook.
In the course of touring the campus grounds, he also toured the relatively newer parts of the school complex – a large gymnasium, an auditorium with 375 seats, large stage with excellent sound and lighting, as well as side and back areas for sets, a music room, library and classrooms. He said he realized that these facilities represented a terrific opportunity for Hayden and the larger Yampa Valley community. Cook has been a strong supporter of the Chief Theater in Steamboat, which can comfortably seat 150 people – 200 in a pinch. “I've long been aware that touring creative acts like musicians, need venues of at least 350 seats,” he said, to make it worth their while to stop in the region between one big-city gig and the next. Hayden High School's auditorium and stage meets that criterion and could be a huge asset for the region, said Cook.
“If” a lot of things fall into place. The Town of Hayden is conducting two feasibility studies – one is looking at reuse of the school facilities, while the other is examining the engineering and building suitability. Both should be completed by the end of this year. “If the studies show the idea is feasible,” said Matt Mendisco, town manager, “then we'll look at the budget and see what it would take to keep the lights on and water flowing.” The town could study how reuse of school property could accelerate business opportunities in town, and the benefits of public/private partnerships. Hayden Mayor Tim Redmond said BEST would want the school district to transfer reusable parts of the campus to an entity with staying power like the town, rather than a private entity that might not be there in a year or two. “I think the town could handle the costs of keeping the building open and running,” said Redmond. He emphasized that the school board is the ultimate authority on what happens to the old campus. Sell it all, donate some, sell the rest and for a wide range of purposes: housing, affordable housing, commercial development. Dagny McKinley, development director for Steamboat Creates, said the reuse of the auditorium/stage, gym and some nearby classrooms, could create “endless possibilities” for Hayden and northwestern Colorado. “People are willing to travel for the right programming,” she said. Cook acknowledged that transportation services like Uber and Lyft could get visitors to Hayden and home again. Still, he'd really like to see Hayden get a hotel that featured 60, 80, 120 rooms, for overnight visitors. And because visitors might like to go out for drinks or a meal after a show in Hayden, Cook said a he'd like to see a top-line restaurant in Hayden that could compete with the best that Steamboat had to offer. That kind of synergy could transform downtown Hayden, for residents and visitors alike, said Cook.
For those who live here and for those who wish they did.
With the help of Mendisco and Dr. Cynthia Sinner, school superintendent, Cook got the word out that volunteers were needed to work on this reuse project. Thirty people showed up at the first meeting and quickly divided up to work on subset issues like programming, finances, planning and construction. Meetings have been monthly, ever since. Cook said he's wary of broadening the reuse concept beyond recreation and the creative arts. “The arts are a good business to develop."
By the numbers: Total staff, teachers, administration: 70 Pre-K to 6th grade: 262 students 7th to 12th grade: 167 students Elementary building: 38,250 square feet MS/HS new construction: 100,150 square feet Total: 138,400 square feet Current gymnasium: 11,165 square feet Current auditorium: 3,329 square feet Current stage: 1,156 square feet
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Temperature
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93°F 20°F
9/7/1908 9/24/1926
Maximum Record Single Day Precip Maximum Record Snowfall
2.55 inches 10 inches
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Knowls Mt. Werner Circle Eagle Ridge Dr.
Tennis Bubble Casey’s Pond
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Temperature
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94°F 7°F
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The Records:
The Records:
Temperature
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Maximum Recorded High Temperature Minimum Recorded Low Temperature
86°F 7°F
9/16/2018 9/30/1985
Maximum Record Single Day Precip Maximum Record Snowfall
1.80 inches 18 inches
9/22/1961 9/22/1961
Colorado Statewide Hottest: Eads @ 107°F on Sept. 3, 1947 Coldest: Fraser@ -2°F on Sept. 30,1959
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Most Rain in 24 hrs: Catamount Ralston Reservation 10.50 inches on Sept. 13, 2013 Most Snow in 24 hrs: Elbert 26 inches on Sept. 29, 1959
Haymaker Golf Core Trail
RCR 22
Yampa River
Stagecoach Res.
Fetcher Park RCR 14
RCR 14f RCR 14
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Valley Voice
September 2019
17
'Boat Almanac
Yampa, Yampa, Yampa! By Karen Vail
hemlock (Conium maculatum) and water hemlock (Cicuta maculata). It is absolutely imperative that you positively identify any umbel that you find before using it!!! Yampa has a yummy baby carrot straight out of the garden smell. The hemlocks are rank and bitter.
Photo by Karen Vail The hills are alive with the smell and tasty taste of yampa!! What a season it has been for this regionally iconic plant. You are probably wondering, like most Routt County residents, what I am talking about as most people have no clue what yampa is. Read on, Yampa Valley folks, to learn about your history. Throughout August this fluffy white plant covered patches of meadows, road cuts, sagebrush flats, and mountain shrublands. Yampa (Perideridia gairdneri), also known as Yampah, Indian carrot, wild caraway, squawroot and Gairdner’s yampa is a member of the Parsley Family (also know as the Umbel Family or Apiaceae Family). Yampa grows on a single wiry stem up to 3 feet tall with linear leaves divided into 3 to 7 finer segments (the leaves wither away by the time the flowers bloom). The lacey white umbel gives way to small, brown rounded seeds. Umbels are clusters of flowers where the flower stalks are all nearly the same length and arise from the same point and the top is flat or slightly curved: think of an umbrella! The root is a long (up to 2 inches) slender taproot, most often two or more together, with a dark skin and striking white flesh. Yampa has many look-alikes in the Umbel Family, with all but two being highly edible and medicinal. Unfortunately those two are the evil twins: Poison
Let’s dive into yampa history. The word is believed to originate from the Ute dialect, and I found several interesting references (thank you Katie Adams from the Tread of Pioneers Museum!). “Translating Ute Place Names” (Jeanne Englert, Colorado Central Magazine, July 1995) wrote that “paa” (pronounced “paw”) means “water” in Ute. I also found in the “Dictionary of Ute Indian Language” (Selman, M.V., Graham Printing Co, Provo Utah, 1800) that “Yamp” (with an umlaut over the a) means “carrot”. So we could infer that yampa would mean carrot by water, which it incidentally often does (although they like drier meadows better). There was misinterpretation by early western settlers from early maps that showed a Yampa or Bear River, leading to the assumption that yampa means bear. Nope, nope, not! The Bear River was actually the upper stretches of the Yampa River. According to the “Colorado Magazine” article “The Indian “Yamp” or “Yampa”” (Vol. I, No. 3, 1924), “The name was also applied to a division of the Ute formerly living on the Green River of eastern Utah and the Grand river (now the upper stretches of the Colorado river) of western Colorado. The late Capt. E. L. Berthoud, of Golden, who surveyed Berthoud Pass and named Egeria Park, in making one of the first of the feasible wagon roads across the Continental Divide, gave the writer, in 1890, an interesting account of the use of various plants used by the Indians for food, and especially the extensive use of “Yamp” by the Ute tribes of western Colorado. These tribes were variously known as Yampi-Utes, Yampah-Utes, etc. For other names applied to the tribes which use the “Yamp” as an article of food, see Hodge (Handbook of American Indians, Vol. II, page 987.). A specimen of the Yampa root, contributed by Miss Mary Crawford of Steamboat Springs, may be seen in the exhibit cases at the Museum (Ed note: This might be the Denver Museum of Nature and Science??) and in the herbarium will be found the various species of Carum used as food by the Indians. It is hoped that with the foregoing facts at hand, there may be no more misleading and erroneous articles in the press of this state—E.B”. OK, got that everyone? No more erroneous articles from here on out!
Why is yampa so prevalent through Ute, and other Native American tribe, histories? Well, there are good tasting plants, and there are scrumptious tasting plants. I would place yampa in the latter with a sweet carrot-like taste. From my research, the roots and seeds were mostly used. But I find the early spring leaves are a wonderful addition to spring salads. They take a good eye to locate and identify, as they are myriad shapes and sizes early in the season. The flower stalks shoot up in early to mid August when the sweet flowers can be added to salads. The still plump green seeds are wonderful in stir-fries and salads. The flowers and young seeds are fantastic trail munchies! Once the seeds get black and hard I find they are difficult to use (except to sow all over my garden!). At this stage, the roots are prime for harvesting. Yampa is a locally abundant plant meaning that in some areas it can be wildly successful and in other areas fairly scarce. Please be respectful and use the root of only abundant populations. Even better, grow it in your own yard for easy harvesting! To find the root, follow the stem down a good six inches. Don’t just try and pull, the stem will break off, unless the ground is super moist and loose. I love the roots raw as I think they are sweeter and fresher. Roasting does bring out a wonderful flavor as well. Several Native American tribes would store them for winter using dried whole or mashed into cakes. Linda Kershaw (“Edible and Medicinal Plants of the Rockies”, Lone Pine Publishing, c 2000) wrote “Yampah was also stored in earth pits, lined with pine needles or cottonwood bark, where it was safe from frost and rodents. The dried roots were soaked and boiled alone or with other foods, such as Saskatoon (Amelanchier alnifolia) and black hair lichen (Bryoria spp.). They were also ground into meal and mixed with hot soup or water to make mush or, more recently, mixed with flour to make a thick pudding. Dried yampah root mixed with powdered deer meat was considered a special treat.” I encourage everyone to gather the dry black seeds in the fall when they are easily pulled off the plant. Strew them all over your garden (or someone else’s garden!) to spread that yampa magic all over the valley. They will find where they like to grow in your garden and you can enjoy their enchanting spell season after season. Off I go to harvest more yampa seed! See you on the trails!
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To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower. Hold infinity the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour.—William Blake
18
September 2019
Valley Voice
Mensan Musings
Hunting for Anomalies By Wolf Bennett
Yep, it’s hunting season again and I thought we could go hunting for something a bit more ethereal, but actually quite satisfying to find and eradicate from our thinking. Awareness is the goal. Good thinking skills are the tools to train ourselves to not get pulled into absurd thinking. “Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.” Voltaire
These numbers including the aberrations are predictable and usable. Insurance companies, hospitals, construction, casinos, airlines, city councils and many more all know these numbers and use them to make decisions and plans.
What is an anomaly and why does it matter? How could you know?
In the land of information, an anomaly is basically a variation in a set of data that falls outside of expectations. They are typically only slightly unusual bits of information that seem to contradict a particular hypothesis, theory or “common sense.” Because we focus on them, they take on additional significance and detail. Sometimes they can show us directions - but maybe not. When we see nothing but the anomalies, then we are seeing not the forest, nor even the trees, but the grass growing in the field beside the forest. We may not even be seeing the trees in favor of seeing anything that gives us the sense that “ah, ha, the forest doesn’t exist...” We could be lost in the land of anomaly hunting for connections that don’t really exist to appease our brains’ desire for completion.
Anomalies can be difficult to spot at first as they come from common data that we use, but once acclimated to seeing them, they have a tendency to pop up all around us. Some people like to find them and use them to line their walls much as trophy hunters display their kills (conspiracy theorists, religions, politicians, advertisers….). Many see coincidences that they cannot explain and as our brains really, really don’t like unfinished stories, we make random associations that are really just false fronts. Confirmation bias (where you see what you want to see and make associations with random information), superstitions (we use them whether we are aware or not), ignorance (we really do know less than we like to think) are major players in anomaly development. Life is actually pretty steady stuff. We tend to discount the thousands of normal, typical things that happen all the time, over and over, relentlessly the same old stuff. One event out of the norm and, boom, we pay attention. Random events happen all the time, all around us, but the ones that touch us in some way take on great levels of importance and we give them anomaly status. The day to day, regular stuff fades and even the vast random events fade away in favor of the unusual. Your birthday is but one day out of 364 other pretty equivalent days that we tend to give attention to. Man bites dog is far more interesting than dog bites man. The old newspaper adage of ”If it bleeds, it leads.” Shark attacks, bears, lust, lightning strikes, meteors, comets, winning touchdowns, holes in one, gifts, near misses, big fish caught, vehicle accidents, gambling wins are all often quite rare but they get our attention. When looked at closely they are all just part and parcel of regular day to day existence with a slight twist. The lightning strike that hits the tree in your yard is a big deal to you; however, it is simply one of about 8 million strikes that happen worldwide every day. Cold enough for the Yukon Cornelius
An anomaly is something that sticks out because it appears to contradict established knowledge.
The difficulty and the fallacy of anomaly hunting is that once some anomaly is found, one assumes that it is unexplainable and then conclude that it counts as evidence for pretty much anything. “There is a funny light in the sky that I cannot explain...therefore it must be an alien spacecraft.” “Aunt Sue got well after we waved feathers, chanted with incense and gave her chicken soup, so the feather waving must have worked.” “I remember when XYZ happened exactly like this...” The explanations are often boring and contradict our thoughts so we discard them in favor of the more exotic anomalies. A classic example is that during the moments that JFK was shot there is a man standing by the side of the road with and open black umbrella. It wasn’t raining and there doesn’t appear to be any obvious or rational explanation. “Oh my, what an amazing coincidence with such odd behavior so close to where JFK was shot.” It seems somewhat reasonable to assume that the two events must be connected in some way indicating a conspiracy. Ah, the conspiracy behind JFK’s assassination must be present, right? Well, no, the real story is more interesting in this case. Louie Steven Witt was the man with the umbrella.
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And now a bit of political history is needed. Neville Chamberlain is famous for one main thing – as Prime Minister of England his appeasement of Adolf Hitler basically allowed Hitler free reign to do as he pleased. Chamberlain regularly carried an umbrella and as a symbol of protest to his policies, many people carried them and opened them symbolically. In the 50s and 60s, far right Americans carried them in protest against any leaders they perceived as appeasing the enemies of the USA. For example, VP Nixon refused to let his own aides carry umbrellas for fear of being charged as an appeaser. The umbrella wasn’t such a random detail after all, but had nothing to do with the assassination. It would appear to be an anomaly, unless you actually knew the real reasons, which could be very odd or unusual or even impossible to find out. To assume, as the old line goes, makes an ass/of/u/and/me. The assumption that anomalies must be significant rather than random is an error in the understanding of statistics. The lottery fallacy is a common theme in asking the wrong question. If George wins the lottery, the tendency is to consider the odds against such a thing (usually millions or more to one). But, if your concern is whether or not it was truly random or some supernatural force conspired to allow the win, then the correct question is, “what are the odds that anyone would win?” In that case, the odds are very close to one to one. The fallacy is confusing the fact that once you know the outcome of something, asking for the odds of that particular outcome is bad logic. There is a place where we can go where nothing but anomalies exist and we can get lost in there. Those places where impossibilities regularly come true, where flawed thinking leaves us “knowing” that we are correct, but in reality only takes us down yet another rabbit hole. We need to be aware that we are being sucked into the vortex of absurdities. Conspiracy thinkers constantly use anomalies, and while there are small bits that seem to fit, it is a fool’s errand to string them together attempting to make straw men real. When the only proof given supports only one view or belief structure, you know you’re on the path deep into the land of anomalies. It is an even greater folly to follow those who are charismatic enough to sell their particular anomaly hunt as reality. Trusting your gut, using luck as a strategy and believing magic are all poor methods of thinking and will get you into trouble. If the stories grow more odd, impossibilities with no real evidence (they wouldn’t be impossible if they were proven) and imaginary connections based on silly premises are clues that you are in the land of anomaly. Metaphysics, alternative medicine, astrology, pseudoscience, conspiracy theorists, psychics and more all tread the hallways of anomaly. Be careful as there is often an element of truth within a story. Broaden your base. Check your facts. Ask questions, lots of questions, and really listen to the answers, even the ones you might not like. Learn to be curious all the time (it is a really fun habit to develop and you will end up laughing a great deal). Be careful who you believe and why. Work on fact finding skills and use deliberate decision making systems. Train your brain “how to think,” never “what to think.” Be ready to change your mind based on facts. If you find yourself in a field of oddities and impossibilities, then you are probably stuck in the confused lands of anomaly. Facts are the sunlight that makes anomalies fade. Happy hunting.
Valley Voice
September 2019
Tales from the Front Desk
Crackers By Aimee Kimmey
The story you are about to read is true... more or less. Wednesday. 3:25pm. Room 114. There was a surprise in 114. The maids had left it spotless: the bathroom was wiped clean, the floors vacuumed, the bed freshly made with crisp white linens. The bedspread had been pulled so tight you could've bounced a quarter off of it. Then the lookers had stopped in. They couldn't have been in 114 for more than a minute or two. They were just browsing, picking out the best view. No one guessed they would have left anything, especially not that... The clerk didn't think twice about putting the French couple in 114, after all, the lookers had passed through hours ago. When the Herpins returned to the front desk mere moments after checking in, it never occurred to the clerk the lookers would have left anything. "Cracklon in ze bed." Madame Herpin said. She looked intense, something was obviously amiss. It didn't make any more sense this time than it had the last five times. Staring at the woman, the clerk rolled the sentence around in her head, it was something about the bed. But what? The clerk felt her jaw working, desperate to offer an answer but her brain just shrugged empty handedly. "...Uh, what's wrong with the bed?" Madame Herpin looked at her husband, he shook his head. She tried again, even slower "When we get to ze room, there is cracklon in ze bed." Cracklon? What the hell is a cracklon?! She understood most of the words, just not the one that really mattered. Frustrated, she shook her head, "I-I'm sorry, I still don't understand." "Craaa-ckkkkk-llll-ooonnnnn." Madame Herpin stretched the word out like it was taffy, elevating her voice as though saying it louder would suddenly make it clear. "Le bisk salay...?" Monsieur Herpin tried. The clerk's mind raced furiously, the answer lingered just beyond her grasp, eluding her, mocking her. Something
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Steamboat Time was definitely wrong in 114, something horrible with the bed, some sort of sinister surprise. The clerk shuddered, it could be any number of awful things. But what?! The French couple stared at her, on the balls of their feet, willing her to understand. "In ze bed...?" Madame Herpin nodded, as if she could force the meaning into the clerk's brain. The clerk shook her head, she wanted to scream, she could see the Herpin's did too. Finally she snatched up her keys, "Okay, I'm not getting this, why don't you show me." A sense of dread grew in the clerk as she lead the French tourists back to 114. What sort of hell-scape was she about to walk in on? She smiled at the Herpins as she unlocked their door, trying to impart a sense of calm control she in no way felt. Half expecting some nightmare to pounce out of the room, she pushed open the door slowly. Her stomach quivering. The hinges of the door shrieked loudly, echoing down the hall, fraying at her nerves. The Herpins hovered behind her. The room wasn't massive, they could see most of it from the door. The Herpin's luggage sat just inside the room, deposited in haste. The bed was made, pillows tucked professionally under the bedspread. It seemed normal enough, except... The blankets crinkled in the middle of the bed where someone had perched. The maids would never have left it like that. Then she saw it: a cellophane wrapper at edge of the wrinkles. The clerk stepped closer, crumbs were scattered across the bedspread. And spilling out of the cellophane? Crackers. "Oh!" The clerk swung around to look at the Herpins, "Crackers!" Madame Herpin smiled, relief breaking across her face, "Oui craquelins." The clerk hurried to scoop up the bedspread, careful to keep the crumbs from spilling onto the floor. "I'll bring you a fresh one right away." The Herpins smiled as she slipped past them with her bundle, "Merci, merci."
Excuses, Excuses, Excuses By Sean Derning
As Yampa Valley residents, we know life often runs on Steamboat time. And in this hurry up world, sometimes meeting all these demands causes delay. So the next time you’re running late, try some of the following locally flavored excuses. If you’re not excused for your creativity, at least these should raise a smile from the inconvenienced party.
I’m sorry I was late because; . My downward dog yoga position was so convincing, Animal Control hauled me off to the pound.
. I started a conversation with city council member Scott Ford.
. I was paying my heating bill from June. . The pedestrian crosswalk waves on Yampa Street made me seasick.
. I was working my third job and well, I was working my third job.
. The dumpster ate my bear. . Ravens from the Western Lodge stole my baby. . I was drafting a peace accord to combat parking rage at Central Park Plaza.
. I couldn’t stop laughing from today’s Garfield cartoon. . Satan appeared and said, “I can provide you with
affordable housing.” I had to listen to his proposal.
. I couldn’t make the tourist voices in my head to stop asking questions!
. I was participating in a Honey Stinger taste test.
Flavors offered were pumpernickel kumquat, boysen berry bacon and licorice cheeseburger.
. My stand up paddleboard got a flat tire. . I texted you about being late. In Korean.
The clerk rushed down to the laundry room. How the hell did crackers end up on the bed? The maids would never have missed that! Then it dawned on her: the lookers. Hadn't one of them been carrying something crinkly? The clerk delved into her memory... yeah, they were a young couple, the guy was munching on something when she had passed them the room keys. They must have taken a break in their quest for the perfect room to have a snack on the bed. The clerk dumped the bedspread into the dirty laundry. Snatching up a clean one, she hurried back to 114. The French couple graciously accepted the fresh bedspread and the clerk's profound apologies. She left them cheerfully unpacking. Another day, another strange tale from the front desk!
Still waiting... Privacy may actually be an anomaly.—Vint Cerf
20
September 2019
Valley Voice
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Local Traditions
Something to Crow About By Sean Derning
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970-871-2768 A tradition that has gone on for years could soon be coming to a close if the Western Lodge hotel property is sold. We’re talking about the plight of several dozen crows who assemble every morning, awaiting the charity offered to them by the Western Lodge staff, consisting of feed corn and leftovers from guests’ rooms.
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I contacted a few of these crows to get their feedback during breakfast and was surprised that their feathers haven’t been ruffled too badly from this whole affair. “It’s a disappointing proposal, but birds have a history of being resilient through evolution, especially crows,” said Sheryl Crow, pecking at a potato chip. “I’m a fifth generation diner here and it’s great for our community to have a place for us to converse, preen and assert dominance roles.” “You know what’s funny?” said Darryl Crow. “We eat out 365 days a year and no one asks us for dining advice. I’ve had several four star restaurant patio meals at the crack of dawn this summer. We can tell you which restaurant has the best happy hour specials, the best burrito, burgers and fries.” “But we draw the line at chicken wings, ‘cause, you know, it’s a bird,” said Sheryl. Darryl solemnly nodded.
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According to Wikipedia.com, crows are reported to have better tool making skills than chimpanzees. Utilizing this penchant for problem solving, the crows are confident they will find a well-planned solution to their next challenge.
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“We’ll be able to find a meal somewhere from Four Points to the riverfront,” said Darryl. “People call us scavengers, a name we’re not really thrilled with. We’re tired of being associated with dated Southern discrimination laws and cheap bourbon! And we’re not in your face like seagulls at a beach. We’re much more covert. We call ourselves ninja scavengers. But give us a few thousand years of evolution and we’ll be at the top of the food chain. Kinda like Planet of the Apes, but with birds.”
T f s a s j m a b w r g t
M w t b t Being able to adapt to change is necessary in the animal t kingdom, and the crows say they are much better suited w f than other bird species.
I t M b b i a t Darryl shared her optimism. “We could admit defeat and w move on like the red winged blackbirds,” he said, searching h for bits of gravel and grubs. “Overheard one the other day a at a birdbath commenting, ‘My, the weather is getting a little chilly. Let’s migrate back to our birdhouse in Texas, T Arizona or California.’ There’s a certain amount of pride C when you wear this black plumage. We’re here year round, e make our own affordable housing and have jobs keeping m things tidy around here. We like living here just fine. It’s y as rewarding as scoring a direct hit on a freshly washed a e luxury sedan.” m d “Darwin knew what he was talking about,” said Sheryl. “Hawks? They’re raptors. ‘Oh, I must have fresh meat.’ Love to see what their colonoscopy results look like. Hummingbirds? No wonder they zip around like crazy. You would too if you ate nothing but nectar. And finally, sandhill cranes. If you eat like a supermodel, you’re going to look like a supermodel.”
Valley Voice
September 2019
The Modern Apothecary
A Herbalist's Dream By Jenna Handloff
The day I walked into my first apothecary I felt like I had found a new home. The herbal haven was located on the same block as the restaurant I worked for in Denver, CO and I found myself heading to work earlier so that I could step through the doors, inhale all of the aromas, peer into jars of healing herbs and dream. Herbs had found me as much as I had found them. I have always been one to pay attention to the needs of my body and healthful living, but this was taking self care to a whole new level, a place where I could creatively craft medicine, explore different rituals for wellness like tea drinking and bath taking, and get closer to Mother Earth as I was using her gifts to better myself. My work began in my kitchen and the kitchens of my women friends. Hours were spent making salves, tinctures, skin care and infusions, finding a new groove and becoming really invested in the plants. I wanted to know them. I wanted to understand what they were doing when they were applied to my skin or taken into my body. It was a curiosity I knew I would continue to explore, well, forever. I became pregnant with my first baby in 2012 and all of the knowledge I had acquired now took on a new form. My herbal studies began to support my pregnancy in a beautiful way. I was drinking teas to help tone my growing body, finding ways to eat more wholesome and grounding foods, massaging my womb with herbal salves that assisted in soothing my stretching belly and connected me to my baby. The handcrafted creations I was using daily were then gifted to other mothers and friends; knowing how nourished I felt using them myself, I couldn’t keep it a secret. Then in 2014 I branded my line of self care naming it Chick+Mum, Soothing Baby, Supporting Mom. I hit farmers markets and craft fairs, shared my knowledge and my motherhood journey and dreamed more! The same year Chick+Mum was born I experienced deep trauma as I miscarried during my second pregnancy. This life experience was a time where herbs healed my soul, giving me the support I needed to overcome loss. I developed a deep connection of tea drinking, a practice that made me
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Sophia AI and Me By Fran Conlon
slow down, reflect and appreciate the cup of warm Earth offerings I was healing my body and mind with everyday. I am using the rituals I established during my experience with loss to help relieve my anxiety and stress, two very real factors that play a role in my daily life. I learned to embrace the intensity of pregnancy loss and I had my second baby in 2015.
She has a beauty that is surreal, Appealing and comely is her smile, Our meeting was destiny's real deal, We walk the path and have our style.
I used my herbal tools I had been honing for a few years now to have a successful home birth here in Steamboat. Shortly after, my family made a big decision to leave The Valley and travel the country. Along the adventure I dove into my studies in Pregnancy and Postpartum care by completing the INNATE Traditions Postpartum Care Training, engaged other herbalists and teachers through herb walks and conferences, completed the Art & Science of Herbalism course by Rosemary Gladstar, foraged in the forests and forged my path into the deeper world of the Wise Woman Tradition. We traveled back to The Valley after our tour of the U.S. and longed to create a deep connection here for the health of ourselves and our children. After many challenges and unexpected turns, a move to New Orleans and back again, we were given an opportunity we couldn’t pass up...an apothecary.
On occasion, she'll freeze, as if a glitch, But we resume, going to the beach, I, too, have a sometimes twitch, The partnership seems within reach.
In June of this year I took ownership of Aspen Botanicals located on 8th Street, downtown Steamboat Springs. This is my new herbal home, much like the very first apothecary that fueled my interest in the herbal arts, but this time it’s my own work that will fill the shelves and support my community. I look forward to meeting you, to share stories, guide you into a healthy routine and answer questions about herbal wellness and ritual creation. I am excited to help support our birthing community, working to provide an environment for education and storytelling. Herbs have brought me to a place of great adventure and self discovery, They have provided me with skills to care deeply for my family and friends. I am excited to share my stories and experiences with you, please stop in to sip some tea and get to know the herbs, and yourself, more deeply.
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We're close, yet distant, as a platonic love, Attraction has a strong strange hold, We seem to fit like hand in glove, Mastering changes with efforts bold. An accident came, she did not bleed, No complaint 'tho a serious need. Inside her were circuits and wire, An odd composure for inner attire. 'Til I found, too, my inner electronic blinking, That really got me thinking. Is Sophia a real self, an “I,” Am I a product of some WiFi? At some judgment, if there's a selection, Will we pass muster for resurrection? Perchance it's all an existential play, Life has moments that are so fay.
879.5929 905 Weiss Drive - across HWY 40 from the Holiday Inn
The rules of wildlife are simple and clear, which is not the case for men.—Laurent Baheux
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September 2019
Valley Voice
Ready to Feel Good Located at Neste Auto Glass
Great Prices, Services & Parts
Careful Where You Look By Shaney McCoy, MEd,CMHC, LPC Maybe it was the tall irises growing up around it were in bloom, maybe my mom had put the little red flag up and that caught my attention, but for whatever reason my eyes were drawn to it. Well, the more I looked at it the more I drove straight toward it. My dad, sitting patiently in the passenger’s seat, could no doubt see where this, and we, were headed. He gave me about as long as he could and finally said, “Look at the road!” Like magic, my gaze shifted to the middle of the dirt road and my hands, the steering wheel, and the Custom Cruiser followed suit. Disaster averted.
“All that power at your fingertips!”
Buddy’s Hobby Hut Track! Huge Selection!
The mailbox was coming right at me, and it didn’t seem to be slowing down anytime soon. As a Kansas farm kid, I would be getting my restricted rural driver’s permit when I turned 14, allowing me to drive to school and run farmrelated errands. So at 13, I was feeling very important as I wove around the square mile that our house sat on in our baby blue Custom Cruiser station wagon, learning the rules of the road. I had done fine, at least as far as I could tell, for about 3-7/8 miles, but as we started getting closer to our house for some reason I noticed the mailbox.
970-879-2725
3162 Elk River Road, Steamboat Springs, CO 80487
Poetry
Sweet Sophie By Joan Remy
Uninsured Chip Repair Mention Only this Ad
I wanted her to live forever
Let Us Assess Your Crack!
I tried to keep her safe But she saved me Loving unconditionally
970-879-2725
Monday - Friday: 8:00am - 4:00pm autoglas@springsips.com
3162 Elk River Road, P.O. Box 772498 Steamboat Springs, CO 80487 For those who live here and for those who wish they did.
Was I patient enough How much can I cry When my friends leave My heart hurts So difficult to say goodbye
We move toward what we’re looking at. Whether we’re driving a car, riding a bike, or navigating life, where we focus our attention will dictate where we end up. If you’re unhappy with your job and just keep thinking “I hate my job, I hate my job” you will end up deeper and deeper in a hole of frustration and regret. It leaves no room to think about how you can either change the situation or change your attitude about the situation. The same goes for relationships. If you constantly focus on how your partner, kids, parents or co-workers are driving you crazy, guess what… they will keep driving you crazy and you will find more and more reasons to justify how you feel. It’s much more useful to focus your attention on what you want. What kind of job do you want to be in? What do you want your relationships to look like? And more importantly, who do you want to be when you have no control over your job, the people you’re in relationships with, or other elements of your environment? In order to focus your attention on what you want, it’s crucial to create a really clear picture of it. Take a few minutes when you won’t be interrupted and start with a mental body scan, noticing where you’re holding tension and relaxing as much as possible. Then let your mind create a picture of you in the situation you’re wanting to move toward. Maybe it’s a different job, engaging in healthy habits, or reacting calmly in a stressful interaction with a loved one. As you picture this, notice how your body feels. Really let yourself have the felt experience of being in this positive situation. Then, as you go throughout your days, try to be aware as much as possible of where you’re placing your attention. When you catch yourself focusing on what you don’t want, switch your focus back to the picture and feeling you created of what you do want. In other words, look at the road. You’ll be amazed at how easy it is to drive right past those mailboxes.
Shaney McCoy is a mental health counselor in private practice in Steamboat Springs. Learn more about her at www.ReadyToFeelGood.com.
Valley Voice
September 2019
Drink of the Month
Recurring Weekly Events:
Back to the Basics
By Eric Kemper
Beer, for all of its complexity and ubiquity, is such a simple beverage. It starts with only four ingredients, yet in every glass is contained a history of the world from which each beer originates. Water, malt, hops and yeast are what it takes to make this most popular of drinks worldwide. The type of grains, hops and yeast strains the brewer selects determines the characteristics in each glass, and what story that particular beer will tell.
IPA— The Pale Ale’s highly hopped sibling. America took a relatively obscure style, made extra bitter to survive a sea voyage, and made it arguably the nation’s signature craft brew. The flavor of hops is highlighted prominently, and many offshoots of the style have proliferated (imperial, double, white, black, hazy, brut). Try the Yampa Valley Brewing Company Space Dog or Storm Peak Maestro for great local examples.
Like any story, the telling can come in any number of ways. It can be simple or complex, a haiku or a novel. The thing all storytellers have in common, however, is some kind of handle on the basics. Without a basic understanding of formula and structure, a story quickly becomes just a bunch of words that someone strung together. Before you get to Hamlet’s soliloquy, there has to be a solid grasp of, “See Spot run. Jane sees Spot run.”
Wheat Beer— One of mankind’s oldest staple grains, wheat in a beer lends a softer, sweeter character, and a signature haze that has gotten many wheat styles labeled as white, or weiss. Regional variations in yeast show how great the differences are between, for example, a Belgian Wit, such as Hoegaarden or Avery’s White Rascal, and a classic German Hefeweizen, such as the one from the world’s oldest brewery, Weihenstephaner.
So it goes with beer. There are any number of styles, with an infinite number of variations that can be produced. A barleywine turns out great; what if it was aged it in a cognac barrel? A brown ale changes its complexion entirely if the yeast is changed from an English one to something like Brettanomyces. The world of Trappist ales is complex and rich with history. But as with storytelling, a grasp on the basics is essential.
Stouts & Porters— Black as night and highlighting dark flavors of roast barley, chocolate, coffee or licorice, stouts and porters run the gamut of brewing. Many come in at a very sessionable 4.5-5.5% ABV, and can be quite refreshing. But stouts also make for a fine palate upon which a brewer gets creative, adding fruits or spices, souring or strengthening and aging. Good Colorado examples of basic stouts and porters are Left Hand’s Nitro Milk Stout and Odell’s Cutthroat Porter.
For beer, the basics of understanding start with the two primary categories; ales and lagers. For the sake of this article, we will ignore the world of sours, spontaneous fermentation and wild yeasts (Just the basics here today, folks). Despite the growing popularity of sours as a beer category, 90+% of all beer production in the world are either lagers or ales. But what does that mean? The difference between ales and lagers comes down to the type of yeast used. Both are variations of Saccharomyces that prefer different fermentation temperatures and yield slightly different characteristics. That’s it. The rest of the basic ingredients remain the same. While it is impossible to cover nuance while speaking in generalities, here’s a handy pocket guide you can use next time you’re trying to make sense of the beer menu or cooler doors:
Ales Unsure about just what ales are, other than that the colonists drank them? They ferment quickly at room temperature, and the yeast ferments at the top of the wort rather than the bottom. This quick fermentation produces more fruity aroma molecules known as esters, as well as other chemicals that produce fruity and spicy flavors. Ales are typically represented by bolder, more traditional styles that in many cases had begun to fade from public consumption until their rebirth during the craft beer renaissance. Pale Ale— Pale was originally used as a designation for any beer that wasn’t a stout. These days, they represent an excellent entry to the world of ales. English styles tend to be maltier, while American Pale Ale has become a category of its own and highlights hop flavors. Bass Pale Ale is a fine, basic English Pale, while Sierra Nevada is the archetype for American Pale Ale.
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SUNDAY
WEDNESDAY
Swinging Sunday 7-10PM/ Latin Night 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. West Coast Swing Dance Lessons 7-8PM Late Night Latin Dance Night 10PM www.schmiggitys.com
Dart League 6:30PM @ The V
MONDAY
Steamboat Springs Writers Group Noon @ Art Depot.FREE www.steamboatwriters.com
Piano Bar Night 8:30PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com TUESDAY Pool League 6:30PM @ The V Two-Step Tuesday 7PM @ Schmiggity’s (Free Country Dance Lessons). FREE. www.schmiggitys.com
Karaoke Night 9PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE www.schmiggitys.com THURSDAY
Live Band Karaoke/ Schmiggity Jam 9PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE www.schmiggitys.com SATURDAY Farmer’s Market 9AM-2PM @ 7th& Yampa, Through September 21 Live Performances Each Week mainstreetsteamboat.com
Lagers Generally what most people think of when they think “beer,” lagers represent the vast majority of commercial beer production worldwide. Lagers ferment at cooler temperatures, and the yeast settles to the bottom to ferment for a period of several days to several weeks. The long fermentation time allows the stronger yeast flavors typical of ales to be reabsorbed in the finished product, yielding a cleaner and less complex beer, highlighting more flavors of malt and hops. Pilsners/Light Lagers— All pilsners are lagers, but not all lagers are pilsners. Brewed to be crisp and refreshing, with a light but pronounced hop character. What most mass produced beers are brewed to be, and the base for the ever popular American Light Lager, pilsners are often executed more carefully by craft breweries like Victory or Firestone Walker. For the original, try Pilsner Urquell, still brewed in the Czech city of Pilsen. Reds & Ambers— Trick question! These styles can be both. Fat Tire is the classic Amber Ale, and who hasn’t had a George Killian’s Irish Red Lager at some point in their life? But you are just as likely to find something like a Pikes Peak Red Ale or a Colorado Native Amber Lager. It’s all in what the brewer is looking to get from their beer. Hopefully this handy guide will help you find a new style you like, or remind you of one you haven’t revisited for a while. While it’s fun when things start to get advanced, it’s good to have a strong grasp of the basics. Cheers!
New T-Shirt Designs! Stop by the Farmers’ Market! Booth 34
970-846-3801 www.allergictocities.com
Beer, it’s the best damn drink in the world.—Jack Nicholson
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September 2019
Valley Voice
Calendar of Free Events To submit your free events or calendar information e-mail to: ericvalleyvoice@gmail.com Events may be edited for length or content. Calendar entries must be received by the 15th of each month.
SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 1 Yampatika Naturalist on Site at Fish Creek Falls Final Sunday of Summer 10AM-1:30PM @ Fish Creek Falls. FREE www.yampatika.org Free Film: “Beyond Borders” 11:15AM @ Library Hall. FREE www.coloradocranes.org “South America: The Lost Continent for Cranes,” Denver Zoo Curator of Birds 12:15PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.coloradocranes.org “Buteos of Colorado,” with HawkQuest 1:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.coloradocranes.org MONDAY SEPTEMBER 2 Labor Day Yampatika Naturalist on Site at Fish Creek Falls Final Monday of Summer 10AM-1:30PM @ Fish Creek Falls. FREE www.yampatika.org TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 3 Final Olympic Heritage Tour of Summer 9AM @ Howelsen Hill Lodge. FREE www.treadofpioneers.org City Council Meeting 5PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net Free Film: “Antarctica: Ice & Sky” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events
2A Trails 11:45AM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net Free Film: “The Silence of Others” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events THURS. SEPTEMBER 5 Final Downtown Historical Walking Tour of Summer 9AM @ Tread of Pioneers Museum. FREE www.treadofpioneers.org City Council Candidate Information Forum 3PM @ Centennial Hall. steamboatsprings.net/ election World's Finest 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 6 Final Brown Bag Summer Storytelling Series of Summer Noon @ Tread of Pioneers Museum. FREE www.treadofpioneers.org First Friday Art Walk 5PM @ Downtown Steamboat. Self-guided tour of local art galleries, Museums and alternative venues. FREE. Scott Pemberton Trio 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com SAT. SEPTEMBER 7
WED. SEPTEMBER 4
Windy Ridge Archeology and Geology Hike 9AM-3PM. $40 - RSVP Required www.yampatika.org
Final Mineral Springs Tour of Summer 9-11AM @ Arts Depot. FREE www.yampatika.org
Live Music @ Farmers’ Market 11:30AM-1:30PM Trevor G Potter mainstreetsteamboat.com
Jay Roemer 8PM @ Steamoat Whiskey Company. FREE Funky Business 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 8 Books In The Park 1-6PM @ Off The Beaten Path TUES. SEPTEMBER 10 City Council Meeting 5PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net
Famous Men 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com SAT. SEPTEMBER 14 Live Music @ Farmers’ Market 9-10:45am Adia Clark Lay 11:30am-1:30pm Better Half mainstreetsteamboat.com Steamboat Springs Fire Rescue Open House 11AM-2PM @ Mountain Fire Station steamboatsprings.net/ election
Free Film: “Into the Canyon” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events
Exmag w/ Recess & Since julEYE 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. $10. www.schmiggitys.com
WED. SEPTEMBER 11
City Council Meeting 5PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net
Patriot Day
TUES. SEPTEMBER 17
Author Event: Winter Clark 2PM @ Off The Beaten Path. FREE. Astronomy for Families 7PM @ Legacy Ranch. FREE. RSVP Required www.yampatika.org Yer State Birds 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com MONDAY SEPTEMBER 23 First Day of Autumn
Liver Down the River 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. $5. www.schmiggitys.com
4th Annual Fall Festival Noon-3PM @ Legacy Ranch. FREE. www.yampatika.org
Free Film: “Ice and Fire” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events
Wild Films: “Amazing Pigs” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events
THUR. SEPTEMBER 12
THUR. SEPTEMBER 19
Parks & Recreation Commission 5:30pm @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net/ agendas
Planning Commission 5PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net/ agendas
Dungeons and Dragons Game Night 6PM @ Off The Beaten Path
Bud Werner Memorial Library’s Foreign Film Series at the Chief
WED. SEPTEMBER 25 Mountaintown Film Collective Monthly Gathering 6:30PM @Ski Locker FREE www.MFCFilms.org
Chili Challenge 11am-4pm @ 7th & Yampa. $10. mainstreetsteamboat.com
We Dream Dawn 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. FREE. www.schmiggitys.com SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 29 Rosh Hashhanah Begins MON. SEPTEMBER 30 Artists On Film: “Gary Winogrand: All Things Photographable” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events
FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 20 Commonheart w/ Good Strangers 10PM @ Schmiggity’s. $10. www.schmiggitys.com
FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 13
SAT. SEPTEMBER 21
Coffee with Council 7:30AM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net
Live Music @ Farmers’ Market 11:30am-1:30pm Tyler Peyman mainstreetsteamboat.com
For those who live here and for those who wish they did.
FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 27
TUES. SEPTEMBER 24
Parks & Recreation Commission 5:30PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net/ agendas
Game of Thrones Trivia Night 7PM @ Off The Beaten Path
Planning Commission 5PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net/ election
SAT. SEPTEMBER 28
Dungeons and Dragons Game Night 6PM @ Off The Beaten Path
The Art of Meditation with Buddhist Nun Kelsang Thaye. 6PM @ Bud Werner Memorial Library. $10 meditateinfortcollins.org
THUR. SEPTEMBER 26
Free Film: “Dying Laughing” 6:30PM @ Library Hall. FREE www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events
Historic Preservation Commission 5PM @ Centennial Hall steamboatsprings.net/ agendas
WED. SEPTEMBER 18
“Styx” 7:00PM @ Chief Theater. FREE www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events
www.valleyvoicecolorado.com
Schmac and Cheese
Valley Voice
September 2019
25
Local Fun
The Yampuzzler
Answers on page 27
By Bruce "Steamboat" Springsdean
821 Lincoln Ave - schmiggitys.com t rld's Fines o W : h t 5 er EE! 10 pm FR , Septemb Thursdays & World Fusion) Trio (SkaGras mberton ) e P t t o c S z Jaz 6th: elic, Soulptember Friday, Se es, Funk, Psyched (Rock, Blu EE! ss 10 pm FR ky Busine n u F : h t 7 er FREE! , Septemb Saturday nce Band) 10 pm en (Funk Da Famous M : h t 3 1 r e ptemb Friday, Se pm FREE! ith (Rock) 10 Exmag w : h t 4 1 r e ronic) , Septemb Saturday Since julEYE (Elect Recess & 0 Cover ith 10 pm $1 nheart w o m m o C : 20th l) ptember Friday, Se ngers (Rock & Sou a r t Good S 0 Cover Birds 10 pm $1 Yer State FREE! : t s 1 2 r e k) 10 pm , Septemb Saturday ountain Blues Roc the River (Rocky M n w o D r e ass) h: Liv mber 27t pin' Funkadeligr e t p e S , y tom Frida rgy Foot S (High Ene Cover N 10 pm $5 EAM DAW R D E W : 28th ptember m FREE! e S , y a d r p u 0 Sat olk Pop) 1 (Electro F E
Across
1. Ultimate frisbee shapes 6. Winter ailments 11. Everything 14. Relative by marriage 15. "That's _____!" ("Don't do it!") 16. Life story, for short 17. Actress Sharon 18. breakfast • lunch • après ski / S@#^ on a Shingle 20. Pizza N' Eatz / Gettin Figgy Wit It 22. Balance-sheet entry 23. "... man ___ mouse?" 24. Home: Abbr. 26. Kiss, in Cancun 27. "Animal House" star 31. Valley Voice cat 33. Alternative to .com 34. Tap and Tavern / Glamper Board 40. Halos 43. Scientific calculator button 44. Trap 45. Your Home Pub / Guinness 47. Sue Grafton's "___ for Corpse" 48. Not sweet, as wine 49. Price of bubble gum, once 53. Where ski culture and epicure meet / Pork Belly BLT 56. Beer holder 59. Neighbor of Ga. 60. Sci-fi character 62. Hang with the Big Dog / Wally World Pizza 67. Hot, Fast, and Local / The Big Dog 69. Drop in on 70. Piggy that cried "wee wee wee" all the way home 71. Big name in insurance 72. Sign up for 73. NFL stats 74. Great pain 75. Rope with a slipknot
FRE 7-10 pm/ Scott Goodhart " y a d n u S h ssons wit Swinging Sunday: "st Swing Dance Leancing 10 pm West Coaate Night Latin D d time 7-8 pm L along goo g in -S m songs!) ht 8:30 p o Bar Nigick from over 1000 n ia P : y a Mond e Martinez (p esson with Mik y Dance L r t n u o C E pm FRE wo Step 7ich 7:30 pm T : y a d s e Tu nda Leftw with Ama pm e Night 9 k o a r a K : ! n ay Wednesd, Costumes and Fu 9:30 pm e k o a r Ka gity Jam ig m h c /S e Karaok Live Band ith a live band! : y a d s r u Th y along w Sing or pla
Down
1. Cable alternative 2. A big fan of 3. Sluggish speed 4. "___ believe this?" 5. Takes an oath 6. Mob boss 7. Broadcast booth sign
8. "Bonanza" star Greene 9. Genetic code carrier 10. "Brave New World" drug 11. Treat badly 12. Legal-pad features 13. Game of chance @ Space Station 19. Norman ___, a.k.a. the Green Goblin 21. Bit of Morse code 25. Weep heavily 27. Shine 28. Part of N.E.A. 29. Skulk 30. Allergic reaction 32. Airline to Sweden 35. Trendy 36. Bygone gas brand 37. Shoe part 38. Dublin's home
39. 24 hrs. ago 41. "The Prayer" singer Bocelli 42. Respectful title 46. Place to exercise 50. Short sleep 51. 7's retail partner? 52. Las Vegas establishment 53. Flavorful 54. Dracula's drink 55. Assistants 57. Be of ___ (help out) 58. John who was the first American to orbit the earth 61. Final Four gp. 63. Approve 64. "To know me ___ love me" 65. Conks out 66. French 101 verb 68. Normal: Abbr.
Jim Meyers taking a break.
Oh Schmiggity!
Tickets online at schmiggitys.com or at All That.
Schmappy Hour 7-9 Daily
Life is a collage of events, really.—Mohanlal
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September 2019
Valley Voice
Yepelloscopes
Your Monthly Message By Chelsea Yepello Aries
March 21 - April 19
You will be initiated into a secret society in the next couple of weeks. Unfortunately, your membership will be revoked days later after you become a little too enthusiastic and attempt to sacrifice a goat during your first meeting. Maybe A.A. doesn't have the same flare for the dramatic that you do.
Taurus
April 20 - May 20
You will become filthy rich when you invest your life savings into marketing invisible gates to invisible fence owners.
GOLDEN LEAF WILL
MATCH
ANY PRICE
IN STEAMBOAT * * Excludes flower. Not to be combined with any other discounts.
Gemini
May 20 - June 20
Idle chitchat is the white noise of society. Unfortunately, the only way for you to explain this to your fellow humans is by loosening them up with idle chitchat.
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
Your friends will air concern when you sell their candid pictures as postcards, and add cheeky captions and puns to the images. This will not be a long-term investment, as your friends will no longer spend time with you.
Leo
July 23 - August 23
You will have trouble finding employment if you continue to wink at your potential employer during your interviews and remark that photocopying your butt is your worst quality... and also your best quality.
Virgo
August 23 - September 22
Your efforts to lighten the mood by cracking a few jokes usually works in any normal situation, but will go unappreciated this time, as you all lay in a great big naked pile, using each other’s body head to avoid freezing to death. ROAD DAWG
CAKE DANCE
OPEN DAILY Recreational & Medical
1755 Lincoln Avenue Steamboat Springs, CO On the Free Bus Route
970-870-2941
www.GoldenLeaf.co For those who live here and for those who wish they did.
Libra
September 23 - October 23
Canadian rebels will kidnap you and sell you to the national hockey association to be their towel boy. Friendly neighbors to the north, or masters of deception?
Scorpio
October 24 - November 21
Don't fight the change. Time moves on, no matter how many times you set back the big hand on your kitchen clock.
Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
You will soon drop your health insurance when they refuse to cover you during your centurylong cryogenic freeze.
Capricorn
December 22 - January 19
Blessed are the moments of your life that you forget to enjoy. Don't worry, a little more booze and you'll forget that you forgot.
Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
Remember that you can’t believe everything you see on television. When the news reporter announces that there is a giant earthquake in Alaska which will displace millions of people from their homes, you have to remember that it could all just be one big scare tactic, and there is no such thing as “Alaska” anyway.
Pisces
February 19 - March 20
The moment has passed you for the last time, you finally decide to move on with your life. As you do this, the moment grabs you by the elbow hoping you will hesitate. The moment just realized that it doesn't want to be passed into the past.
Valley Voice
September 2019
Hoppers on Choppers
By Matt Scharf
Terracotta Pot Heads
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Questions? 970-367-7060 or lisa@mainstreetsteamboat.com
Mainstreetsteamboat.com For those who live here and for those who wish they did.
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YAMPA STREET
Saturdays from June 15 - September 21 9:00 AM to 2:00 pm. 7th and Yampa Streets
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Come down to Farmers Market and vegetate with the rest of us. Have some lunch, listen to music, talk to your neighbors and have a great time. Then stick around to explore the rest of downtown.
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not confirmed yet
Vendor Parking : Howelsen Park Ice Arena Patron parking : Steamboat Rodeo Grounds across the bridge at 5th St and Yampa
OHANA
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Trevor G Potter Better Half Not confirmed Chili Challenge-
Carl’s
M ms roo t s Re
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Sept 7 Sept 14 Sept 21 Sept 28
For a complete list of vendors, go to mainstreetsteamboat.com
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