August8,2024
ThiscollectionofpoetrywaswrittenattheUSCWrigleyInstituteforEnvironmentand SustainabilityonCatalinaIslandduringafour-weekintensivecreativewritinglab. Writ in Water wasthetitleofourcourse,andwedidindeedfindtheoceanuponourpages.Manyofthese piecesareinspiredbytheenvironmentofCatalinaIslandandfurtherinformedbytheexpertise ofprofessors,Wrigley’seducationalstaff,andthestudentsofenvironmentalstudieswhoshared thecampuswithus.Thesepoemswilltakeyouintothewaves,tothetwilightzoneandback.To aridgelinetraversingtheisland,andtoabisononthesideoftheroad.
WeareincrediblygratefultoallofthestaffattheUSCWrigleyInstituteformakingthismonth oflearningpossible.ThankyoutothosewhoattendedourPoetryReadingUndertheStars,held duringthethirdweekofclasses.AndtotheWrigleycommunicationsteamforsupportingthe publicationofthiscollection,wearedeeplythankful.
Finally,noneofthiswouldhavebeenpossiblewithoutthewisdomandguidanceofour professor,Dr KatharineOgle.Shetaughtustolookdeeplyattheworldandtellthestories writtenonitssurface.Ourliveshavebeenforeverchanged.
Sincerely,
VirginiaAkujobi-Egere
MaximusAllen
MarioCastellanos
ZabrinaDowner
SophiaHammerle
DavidLlenderrozos
LuisaLuo
ZacharyWhalen
Contributing Authors
Contactusatstaticinthenight@gmail.com.We’dlovetohearfromyou!
Yourcitypollutedbodyseeksrefugefromtheverylandithelpeddestroy Theneedleofyourmoralcompassseemssluggish. ExhaustyourbodyandswimacrosstheSanPedroChannel. Lettheseasaltcleanseyourvesseland thecurrentofthewavesblessyou.
ThegaribaldiglowshallguideyourpathtoNirvana.
Climbthetallestmountainsandallowyourfeettogriptheearth. Feelthesiltfillthespacebetweenyournailsandskin. Andasyousitinthegrittynaveloftheisland, besuretostackyourspineandsqueezeyourcore. Foldyourlegsinandbloomthebaseofyourlotus. Anointyourtempleswiththefatofwhitesage.
Peelbackyourskinandringitdry;revealyoursoul. Useyourremainsasfertilizer.
Letitdecomposeandreturntotheearththatbirthedit. Poppyandfennelnowsproutfromyourashes.
Thesoul’seternaldancebetweendeathandrebirth. YoushalllivethroughCatalinaforever.
Zabrina Downer
SeasickAnchovy
Blue. Blue.Bluegray Bl—green?!Green? …Blue–green. Blue,blue,blue.
Friends?Silverfriends. Bluemakessilverfriendsblue–silver. SilverfriendsnotsilveruntilintheGREATBEYOND. Up,up,up. Sparkle,sparkle,sparkle.
Blue. Bluetakescolor. Stealsprettysilver. BluewantsONLYBLUE. ONLYBLUE,FOREVER.
Iknownot-blues. Pink,yellow,green,red,purple! IseethemintheGREATBEYOND. BlueHATEStheGREATBEYOND. AndtheGREATBEYONDhatesme.
Up,up,up. Sparkle-sparkle,sparkle. Hurt?Hurt-hurt. Cold-cold.
Bluebelow,teasing.Mean. Scared.
BIGSCARED. Silverfriends.Red.
Blue. Blue,blue,blue. Onlyblue. Onlystay. Bigsad.
Big-big-big-bigORANGE?ORANGE!
ORANGE-ORANGE!ORANGE-ORANGE! ORANGEFISHKILLSBLUE WINNERFISH!PERFECTFISH! ORANGEFISH,ILOVEYOU!
Whalen
Zachary
QuailEggs
Saran-wrappedwatersspeaktousthroughvinesofdried-outkelp. Thelittleorbsthatoncehelpedthemfloatnowlaywashedup, andbakedbythesun,inclustersonthesand; Frecklesoftanontheiralabasterskin, Strickenwithvitiligo,itsbitsarechippingofflikeoldpaintonawall.
Theseahasdeliveredusquaileggs. Ourrumblingbellieswereheardbytheearth. Thecoastisbrimmingwiththepromiseoflife Inshapesofovals,almonds,andgrapes Thoughthey’reabrasiveandbrittlelikewafers: Remindersoffoodintroubledtimes.
Andso,theseahasdeliveredusquaileggs, Onlyitforgottoputinthealbumenandyolk. Theyarehollowandbarren. Thereliesnofutureintheirshells. Theseahastrickedusandtauntsuswitheachwave, extendingitsarmsoutforahugandthenrunningaway.
Mario Castellanos
Icouldneverbeacreatureofthesea,formybodyistooboundtoland. Mybodylackstheaquaticeleganceawaterboundlifedemands. Fingersandtoespossessnowebs;armsandlegsarefarfromsleek. I’mgladI’mbiggerthanananchovyforapelicanwouldsnapmeupintoitsbeak.
Toblurthelinebetweenlandandwater,oursnorkelwasmeanttocause. Buttheclumsinessofmywetsuitwrappedroundmyneckdidgivemepause. Saltysprayuponmylipsandnoseleftafoulaftertaste, Pullingmymindawayfromthepromptweweremeanttochase.
Thebuoyancyofthewetsuitputabarrierbetweenmeandthedeep. Itcouldnotbebridgedorbreached;fromsurfacetobottom,itwasmuchtoosteep. Thefishbelowmeslicedthroughthewater,glidingwithoutacare. Iwonderiftheynoticedoursingle-mindedstares.
Thatdoesn’tmean,however,thereisnocreatureI’dwanttobe. Hell,Icouldevenchooseonethatlivesrightupagainstthesea. Butitwouldbenofish,orshark,orseal,thoughtheirappealisnotabsurd. ToliverightnexttotheseaI’dprefertobesomekindofbird.
Theideacametomethisafternoon,afteralengthywalk. ToTwoHarborswehauledourselves,standinghighabovetherocks. Mymindwastensewithworriesofwork,anditneededtimetoslack ButthisrevelationstruckmeasItooktheshoreboatback.
Thesaltyspray,thecoolseawinds,thatblewacrossmyface Endeduptransportingmetoanentirelydifferentplace. Tobewithwings,andaquilinebeak,unfurledlimbsinvokingflight. Tobeentirelyunburdened,hollowbonesmakingmefeather-light.
Alifeofflight,ofrockycliffsandnestsisonethatIwouldwant. Toenterthisstateofmindwasamuchsimplerjaunt Thantoinvokeacreatureofthedeep,whichfeelssofar. TootherlivesIwishtonowleavemymindajar.
David Llenderrozos
Immobile
LastJuly, Iplantedmytoesonthesideofacliff Andmysandalsblewawayinthenight
Rootssproutedfromtheveinsofmyfeet AsIstoodthere,shaking, Watchingaspider-websinkintoitself
Thatwhirlpoolofsilk Abandonedamongbranches ToldmeIhadtogrowtosurvive
SoIstrayedfromthetrail(Ilistened) Andwrappedmyselfinhissheets,hisbedstraw Seedsslippedintomyscars
Didyouknow Thatthemostvulnerablepeople Aretheoneswhostaystill?
Thegentleonesevolveintoprey Preyand“topray”arealmostspelledthesameway OnlyGodcantastethedifference
Foxescravethecactusfruit Sproutingfromourtongues Thesweetestpredatorsonlykissyouwhenit’sdark
Ibranchedoffmyboneswhenhewhisperedmyname Andsplitmyowncellswhenheaskedmetostay It’sscary:howquicklyourbodiescandistortthemselves
Buttheskysmelledlikestarswhenitfilledmynostrils Andthefountaingrassgrewfromtherootsofmyscalp Andmyshudderingbreathbecamethebirds
Didyouknow Thattheoceanlookslikestaticinthenight Andthatlonelinessisgenomic?
Iwanttoburymyselfinthedirt
Covermyhands‘tilltheynolongersearch
Covermyheart‘tillitnolongerfeels
Morphological Spiritual
Actual change
Iwanttoknowwhatthatissomeday
Maximus Allen
Giantkelpconsumesme.Toothedbladescling halfheartedlytomybody’sfabric.Iflipover likeananimalborninwaterandfloat aboveadarkorangeforest.
Whowould’vethoughtthatdelightneededamuscle? Thatjoywastheheaviestofhumanimpulses? Butifyouaskmeforareasontogetoutofbed, I’lltellyouoftheslimybladeof Macrocystis pyrifera thatkissedmyleg.Ofthedeepceruleanblue surroundingtheunderwaterforest,whichgleamsatmidday withthecolorofthesun notahue,butaboldness.
This,theearth’slargestalgae, ofthekingdomChromista. FromtheAncientGreek khrôma,forcolor. It’safittingtaxonomyforthecacophony ofpigmentsthatrolloffthetongue: olive,amber,burntsienna. Terracotta,copper,gold.
I’mtemptedtocallitgreen butthisbrownalgaeglowsyellow-orange. Chlorophyllmasksitspigmentinthedeep, wherecolorsoflightdisappearinrainbow Redisthefirsttogo,scatteredearly Whatcolorwouldyoube,ifdeterminedbyyourdepth?
Andasifthiswillkeepyoualive,Icontinue: TheorderPhaeophyceaetranslatestoduskyseaweed, aphrasethatevokesnotthecolor buttheelusivenessofthecolor, theever-changingcreepingofsunset.
Changeisfoundationalwhenyoulive amongthetides,butparticularlyforacreaturesolarge. Ondayswhencurrentspullstrongerthanusual, awholeforestcanlayflatontheseafloor, erasing,momentarily,awholeecosystem.
Wesayakelpforest,butalsoakelpbed, andbothtermsshareagroundingintheearth: agardenbed,arestingplace,theoceanfloor
Asdowehumancreatures,whocrawledfromseatoland totrees,toland,thenseaagain.Inasense,wecametwice toearth,tosolidground,totheworldbeneathourfeet.
Iwon’ttellyouthathere,floatingonthesurface, cradledbyunseenforestsofthedeep,Itoothink ofdrowning’sfatalgulpofthick,transfiguredair. Iwon’ttellyouthatIswimoutuntilIfeel attheedgeofoblivion.Iwon’ttellyou thatthedangerhereisintheallureofabsolution, seekingtobeheldbytheabyss.
SoasIlaymedowntosleep, Igivemysoultotheoceandeep.
Thepullofthetideissostrong thatakelp’srootballiscalledaholdfast, whichsoundslesslikeapartofanalga andmorelikeaharkeningcommand: asin, hold, fast! tothesouloftheocean, andtothislifewhichisyourown.
Clingtotheworldlikearootmass: stuck,hard,dense,yellow, totheoceanfloor,tothebed.
Sophia Hammerle
WitheringLeaves “Iusedtowalkamilefromthebusstoptothehouseeveryday NowIstruggletowalktothemailbox.”
Thisismygrandma'sfavoritelinethesedays.
Ofcourse“mailbox”isperiodicallyreplacedwithavarietyoflocations. Alwaysmetwithconvenientlydeafearsandeyesthathatetoseeitsownkind.
Asifnotacknowledgingmygrandma'sacceptanceisinevitable,adolescentregressionwillslow orevenstopitsprogression.
But,still,intheabsenceofreplies,thatmilebetweenthebusstopandmyfamilyhomeiswhat shewillholdontoforever.
Atimewhenthestrengthofherbodymatchedherambitions. Onthehiketodaymymindwastheengineformybody. EachinclineIdugmyheelintothegraveledpath.
Anetworkofmuscles,calves,hamstrings,glutes…propelledmeforward. Ifeltstrong.
Onthewaybackdown,ourentiregroupclimbedthistreethatlookedasthough,inthatmoment, wehelpeditfulfillitslife'spurpose.
Barkthatseamlesslyfitintothetreadsofourshoes. Limbsthatcradledourbottoms.
Weeachnestledourwayintothetree'screvasses,filleditwithlife. Lookingbetweenthecontortedbranchesofthetree,IsawatmypeerswhomIhadonlyknown forafullday.
Butinthatmoment, mypeerswhocasuallycastoutwordsofwisdomandwhosesoulsseemtowandertheearthfor decadesregressedtotheiradolescentselves.
Tightlygrippingontothebranchesthatsupportedusandswingingourfeet, Icouldn'thelpbutthinkofmygrandma.
ThiswasamomentIwouldholdontoforever
AtaleIwouldtellwhenmybodystartstodictatemyambition. AtrueDelight…
Toageandrecognizehowyou'veagedisablessing.
Itisaclearindicationthatyouryouthwasspentbeingbraveandfeelingstrong.
Zabrina Downer
Foreground There’saferociousrepetitioninthepatternofyourwaves
Likewhenthefrothfromtheseabubblesoveratthewaterfront Constantwooingandwailing,backandforth,pushandpull
Andthislastsforhours,sometimesdays,sometimesmonths,sometimesyears Youractionsattheforegroundofitall
Incessantlybeggingtocreepforward,toreelitin
Involuntaryliketheocean,becauseIknowyoudon'tmeanit Reflexiveenergypropellingyou,forcingitselfontothesurface Revealingitselfthroughtherippleofeverywavethatcamebeforeit
Thenextmotionalwayspredictedbywhatprecededit Andsothisiswhatyougiveme,butthisiswhatIget. Predictabilityandforcepairwelltogether
Everythinginthefrontofthepaintingmakesiteasytospot,tointerpret Icansitwithitalittlelongerandanalyzethewaythebluepaint Isdrippingoffthesidesofthecanvas Icanseewheretheillustratedwavesarerepetitive, Wherethefrothbecomesneverendingandsharpandstrong Andifyousquintclosely,youcanseewhereIwrotemyname. Thedarkbluepasteloftheoceanalmostdisguisingtheblackofmyink Withthesuggestionof“Illustratedby”or “Createdby”“drawnby”“Artby”“Madeby” Me.BecauseIdrewyou.
Andmynameisattheforegroundofyourpainting. Gettingwashedawaybyyourstrongwaves
ButIdrewotherthingstoo,there’smoretooceanthanwave Iknewthat.Istartedthispaintingwithintention,withknowledge Aboutseashells,andkelp,andboats,andsnorkelers,anddolphins Awareofallthesethings,andIpaintedthemtoo It’shardtoseeoverthedarknessoftheforeground PerhapsIchosethewrongshadeofblue Ashadetoodeeptorenderwhathearkensbeneaththewave,onlythewave. Onlytheblueandonlythewater,andonlythewave Attheforeground,thatIdrew,thatIpainted, ThatIperhapspropelled.
Virginia Akujobi-Egere
Mamasaysweusedtohavefins
Andthatwecrawledupontheislandfromtheocean. Anditwassohotandthefoodalldry,andtherewerebigTallMen. Wewantedtogobackrightaway!
Butourfinsshrunkrightupinthesun!Andturnedintohooves Thatsank,andsank,andsank Andnowwecan’teverescape.
Sometimes,shelooksfunnywhenshesaysthat…
Wemustabeenprettyunluckytohavefoundthisplace,though! Thefoodsyucky,andthere’sneverenough But,Mamasaysthisistheonlylandinthewholeworld, AndIbelieveher!
Mostlykinda.
Sometimes,Iseetall,graythingsfaracrossthesea Andmamasaysthey’rejustcloudsbeingsilly,but…Idunno.
And,and,don’ttellmamathis,butIlookoutattheoceanatnight WhenI’msupposedtobesleeping AndIcanseesomanylittlelightsallbunchedtogether Rightabovethesea.
Ithinkthat’swhereweusedtolive Intheplacewhereallthelightsare.
Oneday,I’llgobackthere.
I’mgonnagrowbigenoughtohopacrossthesea, BounceoneachlittleislanduntilImakeit! AndI’llbringmymamatoo.
CauseIdon’tthinkshelikesithere,either. ShegetsallscaredwhentheTallMencome Andwehavetohide.
It’shardtohidefromthebangshere. Theearthissotiny;therearen’tmanysecretspots. Andwelostourfins.Wecan’tgoswimminganymore! ButmymommyandIaregoodathiding Andwhenshecurlsupnexttome,Ifeelsafenomatterhowmanybangsthereare!
Sometimes,though,whenwestophiding,there’sbloodontheground Andmyfriendsaregone,orbroken,andI’mnotallowedtolookatthem Andonetime,Igotbloodonmyearandcouldn’tgetitoffforaweek!
Idon’tlikeitwhenthathappens.
IheardMamatalkingtoAuntielastnight. ShesaidtheTallMenwon’tletusleave, Thattheywantustrappedhere tokillusallonebyone, whenevertheywant!
Butthat’snotgonnahappentous. I’llsavemymama!
I’lltakehersomewherefaraway! Wherethere’smillionsoflights,andsomuchfood, AndlotsandlotsofplacestohidefromtheTallMen! Somewheresobig Wenever,everhavetoseethemagain.
Zachary Whalen
TheRanger
Iwasunbotheredbythebuzzingbees andflauntingfliesuntilnow Iwastoobusyexperimenting withmyclairvoyancetoopenupasixthsense, aspecialtytotransportmyconsciencetothepositioningofthebison.
Trucksdrivingbywereconsideredanoccasionalraresight. Thedriverpauses—forafewseconds— towavehi,inadvertentlyquestioningourbizarrebehavior: standingonthesideoftheroadwithnotebooksinourhands.
Thepondisfencedofffromthelandanimals. TheBisonherdsmigrateacrosstheterrestrialroute, Likenooneisleftbehind;andnooneishurt.
MyintuitiontoldmeevenwhenextinctionloomsonEarth— anexistentialdread—thereisstillthefainthope: onemaleandonefemalewouldsurvive, proceedingtomakeahappyfamily.
Ortheymightaswellbreakthecurseofevolution. IfIwastakingcareofthem, I’dtransferthemthesuperpowerofasexualreproduction. Eachcreatesanewlineagelineonitsown. Everyoneisanancestor, andthedescendantsoutlivetherestofus.
Theymoveslowly,notrushing, toreachthenextstop. Everystepisadeliberatemeasure. Thegroupscattersacrosstheplain, nocommunicationoraunitingmoan, Justthehumpingofthehorns, Solelytelepathicwavelengths todescribetheirintentions. Theirtriangularforeheadsandpeakingbacks, aggressivefeatureswithacalmattitude.
Thereisnoneedtotenseuporattack; nothreatsandworries.
Thebrokenholeinthemetal-wiredbarricade signalsthatsomecourageous“oddones” haveescapedthedefinedborderofwhere they’dbeallowedtoexist.
Wheredidtheyrunoffto?
Perhapsstartinganewfarmbrandedwiththick,rustyfur Andasignatureslowwalk.
Iwouldtrespassthesebarrierstobefriendthem, notdisruptingtheirrestfulpeace unlikethechirpingquails.
Icouldevenworkattheconservancyasaranger, Asmallheroforsomebiganimals, chasingbugsattheendoftheirtails.
TruthfullyIamspoiledandbratty, unaccommodatingtothegeorgiclaborofthecountryside. Fortheloveofthebisons, Ishallputasidemyprejudiceasacityrat andembracetheseexuberanttasks.
Luisa Luo
Cradle
Waterfloatsinthesky asfog.Inthedistance, blueisdeciding whetheritbelongstoseaorair
Athin,translucentlayerhovers likeasheernegligee,onlytheideaofacolor. Thentumbling,grasping,thickening.
Floating,whichistosay, Sinkingalittle,too. Beforewebreathedair wewereswimmersinourmothers’wombs.
Andtheland,bornfromthesea, letstheocean’stouchlinger, longingforthatancient,liquidembrace.
Waterfloatsinthesky, andhilltopshide underfog’sdenseblanket,sleepingin.
Eachsunriserevealsthevariousways landmayemergefromitsovernightrest, sometimesfallingoffthemattress, orforgettingtomakethebed.
Whenwasthelasttimeyouwokeuponthefloor?
Asachild,itwasmoreoftenmymother onthegroundbesidethecradle, wrappedinatoddler-sizedcomforter, pettingmyarmgently,likewaves lappingashore,afteranightmarerockedmeawake.
Thosenights,beforesleepcaughtuptome, hertactilelovefeltinfinite. Andturningback,Irealize thehillsaren’twrappedinbedsheets.They’reclinging totheirmother’sarms.
Sophia Hammerle
SpidersintheDecompressionChamber
Whathappenstothespiders
Inthedecompressionchamber?
I’msurethey’llsaythechamberstooclean, Thatnoarachnoidscouldpossiblyhavemadetheirwayin Soilingthesterilewallsandtools…
Butweallknowthat’salie. Nowhere’stoocleanonthisisland
Spidersinthehair,spidersintheshower,spidersinthelifejackets,spidersintheair.
Or,they’llclaimthespiderstoodelicate, Thattheywouldneversurvivethepressure
Eightlittleeyesbulgingoutoftheirheads
Bodiespoppinglikepaintballsagainstthewalls…
Butweallknowthat’salie. Thespidersherearehardy
Survivinghands,shoes,paddlesforcanoes Alittlepressurecouldneverkillthem.
No,therearespidersinthedecompressionchamber
Ipicturethemwithgoggles
Andlittlescubamasks, Wigglingtheirjawsasthechamberdescends Eyeswide.
Andwhenthechambersettlestheyscurryforwardsluggishly Likerunningthroughagluetrap,belliesskimmingthefloor
Theylaughastheytrytospintheirspidersilk, Creatingtangledbirdnestsonthefloor.
Andiftheirthreaddoesmanytolatchontoatableorunfortunatesleeve, Alltheycandoisspinhelplesslyasthebottom
Likechildrenontireswings.
Yes,thespiderslovethechamber
Theyraceeachotheracrossthefloor,stumbling,tumbling,laughing, Unawareofanycrisishappeningabovethem Drunkonnitrogen.
Whenthechamberdooropens,thespidersscurryout
Theweightsloughingofftheirlittlebodies;theypracticallyfly Theirparentsask,“whatdidyoudotoday?”astheyboundbackhome Stillhalfdrunk.
Andthespiderssay,betweenleftovergigglesandhiccups “Itwasgreat,itwasgreat!” “Today,wewentswimming.”
Zachary Whalen
I’llimaginetonightasamaritimeadventure,adivingexpedition, Abioluminescentpartyleaguesunderthesky Tonight,theoceanisanopenbar; Onemartini,andI’m40feetdeep Pulsingwithgoldenjellyfishtothepelagicrhythm. *Nss**Nss**Nss**Nss* Thesong,alittlemuffled,butthebassisinmychest.
5drinksmore,andI’mintheTwilightZone, Inanoutlineofadream,surroundedbymarinesnow Inanill-litabysswithintrudinglaserlightsandthingsthatglow. Blacksmokersfillthedancefloor, Bodiessweatingfromtheheat, Addingsaltiness,mass,andwarmthtothesea.
NowI’mflirtingwithastrawberrysquid Whileheavinginthethinningair. Withimpairedreasonandwit,Iedgeclosertothedare Butmypartnergetstherefirst, Acloudofinktomyfaceinaheady,toxicburst.
Ishouldfeelheavy,butI’mlight, Risingslowlyfromthefog,fromthetemporarythrill Ofanightoutinthedark.
Mario Castellanos
Vegetableoil.Oilandwater Meateater,animallover,Imustadmitit’sironic.Praisingsomany specieswithonesideofmymouth,whileshovelingthemintotheother
Chickenthighs.Disembodied,theymadequitethejourney,fromslaughter,toshipping,to serving.Youdidn’tevenhavetowalkonyourowntwofeet.
Sesameoil.Itstillplantsaseedofdoubtinme,thishypocriticalconsumption.Itmakesthemeat sourwhenswallowed.
Soysauce.Sometimesit’seasytoexcusebeingacarnivore.Withallergiesorpreferences,Ican pushitallundertherug.ButIknowthatIhatetryingtokeepitupfortoolong.
Oranges.Iadmit,thetasteoffleshismuchmoresatisfyingthanfruit.Itstainsmyteethina differentway,Icanonlyhopethatitdoesn’tstainmysoul.
Brownsugar.Sweetnessleadstorot.Cavitiesoftheconscience,frettingoverthehypocrisyofit all,shouldIgovegetarian?Vegan?
Vinegar.Itisabittertruth,hearingwhatslaughterhousessubjectanimalsto.Cramping,disease, rampantcruelty.Canyouloveoneanimalandnotacknowledgetheothersonyourplate?
Eggs.Ican’timaginebeingborntodie.Havingyourbodymangledformeat,mincedintopaste, markedforsale.
Cornstarch.Ourhandsarethickwithbloodweneversee.Notjustthesufferingofspecies,butof man.Sinclair’sjunglewasnevercutdown,wejustfeelembarrassedtalkingaboutit.
Salt.Theocean’swatersdolittletogivedistance.Boatsdonotgiveabigenoughboundaryfrom thesecycles.I’msickofpickingbonesoutofmyteeth.
David Llenderrozos
Scrambler
Thescrambler of mythoughtsandmy core, whiskingmywholebodylikeeggyolksonaskillet, throwingoffmysenseofbalance,stirringup myvitalforcewithnauseafromthesea; D R A M A M I N E istakenforreliefandtokeepthescrambledeggsIateforbreakfastinsideofme.
Castellanos
Mario
I’vealwayslovedcookies.Maybetheyweremyfirstlove:
CookiesthesizeofmyheadatTheAirportintheSky Cookiespairedwithhotcocoa afteranightofsnorkeling.Sweatingorshivering,sunburntorstuffedinawetsuit,everytimeI eatthemIamthinkingofus:thesoftnessoftime,thenakednessofstars.AndIthinkchocolate chipsarekindoflikestars.I’veseenthembefore,buttheylooklargerouthere.Let’sfloatonour backsandwatchhowtheytwinkle.Areyoulisteningtome,Eli?
Don’ttrytospeak.Justfocusonmyface.Listentothewordsastheyfallfrommylips: lastnight,withmyearssubmergedinwater,Itriedtotakeabite.ButIwasneverableto.You burntmytonguethreeyearsagowhenyousaidyouweren’treadyyet.Ijustwantedtotastethe wonderandthegloryofsomethinglongdead,thousandsoflightyearsaway.Longdead,dead long;thatphrasesoundsmiserableasitmeltsinmymouth.Andalittlepieceofmecrumbles everytimeyoulookaway.Haveyouevernoticedthat?
SoI’llgiveyouachallenge,onetoremembermeby:dipacookieintoacupofwarm ocean.Swallowandletitslipintoyoursinuses.Doesittasteofsaltorsweetness?Sweetness. That’stherightanswer,Eli.AndI’dliketobelievethatI’masweetperson.Myheartwasfresh outoftheovenandmyarmswerereadytoembraceyou.Butwesatinthesilence,andyourskin turnedred,andIstillrememberhowyourfrecklestastedlikechocolatechips.ItoldyouIloved youandyousaid“Me,too.”Butnotinthesameway.Itwasnotinthesameway.
AndItoldyouhowyouhadreformedme,whiskedmetogetherinthedarkofyour kitchen.Youshapedmewithyourhandsunderneathmyshirtlikemineshapedthewaves, bioluminescencesparkling.Andlastnight,IthoughtitwassweethowIgottoseethoselast breathsofsunlight.Theybakedthedarkenedskywiththeirorangeandpurpleflames,colorsthat remindedmeofyou.AndIlovedthatplace,andIlovedyoutoo.
Thesweet.Thestars.Thedark.Lastbreath.Lastbite.Lastnight.
Maximus Allen
Tongues PulverizedEarth
Graycrystalthatcrumblesinmyhand
Itfeelslikebakingflour,andleavesbehind Smallspecksofdustandglitteringremnants
It’ssupposedtobethere,
Amongsttheothershimmerystoneandweeds Fittingsosquarelyinyourpocketofrock
Youmakefenneljealous, Butyou’renotlikeeachotheranyways
Therocksfacetheoceansoblueandboisterous
Thetexturebeneathmyfeetarockyoatmealcookie AndwhenIbitintoit,mytoothgotwiggly
Andthewigglemadethewavesmove, Mirroringmytonguepushingandretreatinginsideofmymouth
Thelargebluetonguegrowsshy
Andstaysstillforafewseconds I’mremindedofMalibu, Watchingthewavespushandretreat Iremembergrowingshynexttoyou Iremembertongues. Swarmmelikethewarmair, AndI’llletthebuzzdevelopingonmyskinlinger I’llleteverythinglinger
Virginia Akujobi-Egere
ParticlesofSilica Siftingthroughtheclutterofmymind,Ifailedtofind animpressionofyou.
Myeyesgotoutthehabitoftracingyourfigure, myclayremembersyoubetterthanIdo.
Fragmentedsediments,boundtogetherinliquidthat solidifiedanimpossiblefuture, likeslipbetweenmyfingers,imagesofusslipmy mind.
Thetextureofmyclayrubsmyskinraw, roughirregularartifactsofyouinadequately pulverized.
Theamberofmyclaycomplimentsthebrownhands thatformit.
Likehowyourlaughtercomplimentedmyjokes, butyourcactus-likeskinneverallowedmetogettoo close.
Wishingtobescarred,tohaveaspikeofyoursforever inmyskin.
Myclayresistsasmygripgetstighter, desperatetocreateformfromwhatisn'tthere.
Notworthyofbeinginterruptedorstopped.
Discardfailedattempts,makeroomformore.
Zabrina Downer
Whenyougoogle“DiatomaceousEarth,” thefirstthingthatpopsupistheinsectkiller called“FoodGrade.”Ioftenwondered iftheEarthwouldbesad,knowingthatherbody wouldbemadeintopesticidetokill creatureswhoarealsoherchildren.
Humansorpests,we’reallrelatives. Imagineaformofhomicide,notcausingexternalinjuriesbut takinglivesbyforcingonetolosetheirlipids, dehydratetheneventuallydie. Themostlethal,viciousformofbrutalitythatexists.
Ireadaboutthisagriculturallensoflookingatdeath, thenIthoughtaboutmyown.Howcruelisit, toextractthemostessential,life-supportingfluids outofmylimbsandtorso,discardingthem intheformoftearsinlarge,bean-sizedroplets.
Whenmyspiritsweaken,Ipatchupmymalnourishedskin withsharpsewingneedles.IfIstitchalittletoohard, itmaydeflateintoajunkofrawpinkflesh withnorealsubstancesunderneath.
Ibecomesodesperateforliquids,Iforcedowngallonsofseawater inamatterofseconds.Thenvomitfromthesalt untilit’snauseatingtoopenmymouth, myopinionsweren’tconsultedeitherway Sojustleavemehere,aloneanddesiccatinginadrought; deterioratingbythedayuntilthereisnomoistureleft, andItoobecomedisposedonthesideofthestreetlike thetrashbagsofbugcorpsestheremovalcompanyforgottothrowout.
Luisa Luo
JudgingYou IfItellthisrocktogetupandmove,you’dthinkIwasbeingmeantoit–so commanding,socaughtupinperfectionismthatIcan’tsitstillandappreciatethenatural configurationofthelandscape.IkeepthinkingI’mbeingshoutedat:“Leavethatrockalone!” Exclamationpoint.ExceptI’mhereallbymyselfwithnoonetokeepmefromjudgingthisrock. Judgingitfornotmovingandstayinginplaceasthestrongwaveswashoverit,perpetually disturbit.Judgingitforturninggreenandslimyfromtheseagunkthat’sinfecteditssurface, shadingitssleekexterior,otherwisesomethingthatwouldhaveremindedmeofanexpensive kitchencountertop,likemarbleorsomething.Itsitstooclosetothewater,thelargeunknown,to whatincessantlyannoysit,whatruinsit.SoIjudgeitforthis–foralwayscrying,wetandshiny fromtearsfallingdownitssidesasthewavesmonstrouslycrashuponit.Andonthisrockabout threemetersaway,I’msittingwiththeotherrocks,thesmarterones,thegroundedones,the guardedones.Asafedistanceaway.I’mjudgingitfornotmoving,fornotsittingfartheraway. Comejoinmecrybaby,saveyourself.Wipeoffthegunk,letthesundryyourtears.ButIcan’t moveyou,you’reunmovable.SofornowI’lljustsitandwatchyou.
Virginia Akujobi-Egere
Performing Areyoulonely?Areyoulonely?
Icaughtyoustaringatme,withyoureyeswide yoursterncollidingwiththerock. Didyousailtothebayforme?
Ordidyoudesertyourhometowntorunawayfromyourbride? Wanderingsolateatnight,aren’tyouscaredofshipwrecks? Iheardit’sdangerousoutthere. Holdon,don’tgohideunderthedeck, evenwhenstormcloudsroar,it’ssafewhereI’msitting. Dryandcozy,wecouldevenmakesometeaoutoftheseaweeds.
Comeclosertome,withaplausibility
Workwithyourpaddles,strideintome. Tellme,youngman,whyaren’tyouhappy? Youlockyourbrowsintightknotssostiffandsomber likenosoftpattingcansmoothoutthelayersofsorrow.
Moveclosertome,soyoudon’tgetsweptbythewaves, soviolentandfurious,whoisittryingtodissuade?
Doyouheartheraindrippingloudly, penetratingtheearthwithforcefulteardrops?Thisoceanusedtobeadesert. Don’tworry,Iwouldneverhurtyou,chainedbymyimmobility, Yousee,myarmscouldonlyreachsofar, butmyheart,thepulseofmyspiritunderthissuit isreadytoconnectwithyou.
Wheredidyoucomefrom?Whoareyouraccomplices?
Isharemydearestcondolencefortheirdisappearances, aslongasyoudon’tlookfaraheadtothesacksofbonesinsidethecave. Teachmemoreaboutyou,mypurposeistoserveyou. Shareaboutyouralcoholicmotheroryourstonerfather howtheymistreatedyou,defeatedyourfaithandweakenedyourmasculinestrength. ButIadmireyourtonedmuscles, armssovigorousyoucouldtossandturntheship. Fleshsoappetizing,Icouldingestitall.
Whyareyoufleeingfromme?Stay!Stay! Icouldconsumeyouwithoutanypain andIpromisemysisterscouldnottakepart, nomatterhowmuchtheyachedtoprey Youaremyaudience,mylistener,andmydinneronly, performingbymyselfisnofun,sopleasehearmysong.
Luisa Luo
Toeffaceatabletistoerasehistory
SometimesIwishtoerasemyown. I’dleavemyselfintact,allIwanttoberidofisthestubbornumbilicalofmypast.
It’sironicthatIwishforrebirth,butawombwouldsurelydrownme. Icannotstandtobesmothered,tobemothered,again. IlooktoVenus,assherisesfromthesea,andmuttertomyself, “God,Iwishthatwereme.”
Maiden,mermaid,mentalillness,Mom,areyouproudofme? IwishIcouldconvinceyou,buttheprosedesiredliesoutsideofanydictionary. Iknowyoudonotwanttoseememaimed. Originally,Arielcutherselfopentofindherownhumanfeet. Splitfrommiddletotoe,whatwouldittaketomendsuchawound?
I’msick.Amaskwouldsuitme. ButI’lldeclineatuxedo,please. Toomasculine,toooldfashioned,itwouldnotfashionmeanew. Fashion,feminine,fascism.Identitybindslikesomanymanacles.
IwishIcouldreadbackmyownwriting. Rather,Iwantitoverwritten,newscribblestodrownoutoldsentences. IshallmakethemtheDeadSeaScrolls. Toberediscovered,whenI’mready
David Llenderrozos
Ontheoceanfloor,sealilies,whichlooklikeplantsbutcanwalk,feedonthedetritusthatsinks fromshallowerwaters.Theearliestfossilofasealilyremindsmeoftheflowerofatrumpet vine,adeepreceptacletoppedwithfrillsofstamenandpistil.Thecreatureinthis five-hundred-million-year-oldfossilisacrinoid,fromtheGreek krinos,forlily.
Theirsisters,thefeatherstars,werethoughttobeextinctuntilwedovedeepenoughtoseethem again,livingatdepthsofuptothirtythousandfeet.Thedeepseaseemstoresurrectthefossil record,asifnothingreallydiesbutgoesonlivingintheabyssalplain.
That’swherelovegoes,atleast,sinkingtosomewhereitcanliveforeverevenafteritends.With featherstarsandsealilieslikeafloralbouquetatthefuneralofsomethinglongdead.Ordeeper, beneaththeearth’scrust,wheremicrobesarelivingongeologictime.Thisworldhasenough roomformetosayIloveyou.Enoughroomforforevertoexpandbeyonditsownending.
Intheearlydaysofscubadiving,therewerenopressuregaugestomeasurethecontentsofanair tank.“Itwasintuitive,”adiverexplainedtome.Theair,gettingthinnerinthetank,nolonger rushedintoherlungs.“Whenyoustartedtobreathehard,youknewitwastimetosurface,”she said.
Isloveafinitething,likebreathingblind,breathinghard?Adanceontheridgelineofdisaster, trustingthegentleslideofgravelastheearthliquifiesbeneathyou?
Therearenodivetablesforlove,nodecompressionstops,nosurfaceintervals.Griefisthe bubblesinyourblood.ThefirsttimeIsurfaced,Icollapsed,likeadeep-seafeatherstarsuddenly broughtoutofthewater,unpressurizedandlimp.
Maybethat’swhyIkeptswallowingrocks.Iwantedtoeatmygriefandbedonewithitinstead ofgrowingarounditslowlylikeanigneousrock.Iwantedtofeelancient,tosinkdowntothe deepsea.
Sophia Hammerle
ReasonsforChanging
After Ocean Vuong’s “Reasons for Staying”
Theskydoes,atleasttwiceaday
Becausethesummertimewantstokillitself&Augustisanenabler.
Adouble-rainbowhalo.Asunrisehike.OnUpperBallastPoint.Mypocketsstuffedwithclouds.
Becauseawaveonlycrashesonceinitslife.
Thatteenagerskippingstoneswasyearningforsomething.
Thatbabywassmilinginhiswetsuit.
Ihaveasmallgapinbetweenmytwofrontteeth.
Icouldn’ttellaguythatIlikedhimevenwhenheasked.
Ileftthepartyearly‘causeIthoughtIwasbetterthaneveryoneelse.
Tobebolderthanadrunkenhandontheshoulder.
Tobeabletotakedirtypicturesofmyself.
Tosoundmoremesmerizingthanadistantsplash.
BecauseIscream‘tillIsplinterwhenIseethesun.
BecauseIcangrowlikeaplateinthelow-light.Shattermyself.
BecauseIcangrow BecauseIcan.
Adeerlooksmorebeautifulwithasetofantlers.
MyfirsttimeonCatalinawasmagical.Iwantmorefirsts.
BecauseIbleachmyownbonesintheheat.
IfIfuckmyselfover,Icanstillholditdown:breakmyarmoff&plantitinafistfulofsand.
BecauseChristHimselfisamarinebottomdweller
WithHiscrown-of-thornsstarfish&Hismouthfullofprophecies,Hefeelslikeapredator Has thepowertocutmeopen&swallowmewhole.
Becauseboysbecomemenwhentheykissinthedark.
Becausemenbecomeboyswhentheylearnhowtolaugh&toucheachotheragain.
BecauseI’monlytwentyone&stillfullofwonder.
Myfamilykeepsfat-shamingme.
Becausefamily.
Becausemyfatheronlyevercallswhenit’stoolate.
Inevertexthimback.It’satwo-waystreet.
Becausewebothwilldieoneday.
Justbecause.
BecauseIneedtoprovethemwrong.
BecauseIneedto.
I’mapieceofcoral.Ontheoceanfloor Stranded.
Icanshedmyownskinbutnevermyblood.
Because,sometimes,Ifeellikeashellofmyself:
Staghorn,forlorn,mustmourn,reborn.
Becausestarfish&starsareone&thesame.
Maximus Allen
