FEEL IT IN YOUR BODY ...ONLY IF YOU WANT TO*! *CONSENT IS VERY IMPORTANT
GASP! YAWN! SHOUT! WHY ARE OUR MOUTHS OPEN?
THE BRIEFING PAPER NZ MODEL UN 2014
BREAKING NEWS
DELEGATES GO ‘BACK TO FUTURE’ DISCUSSING UN PEACE KEEPING OPERATIONS HADEEL SALMAN Journalist
Peacekeeping is the central focus of the United Nations. The way in which it fosters amicable international relations and the resolution of conflict through negotiation rather than force has been a guiding principle throughout NZMUN. The United Nations strives to foster relationships and maintain stability and security. Plenary provides delegates the opportunity to put these peacekeeping principles into action in the true spirit of the United Nations. Plenary will give delegates the opportunity to explore their country’s view on interna-
tional peacekeeping and allow the assembly as a whole to expose barriers to international peace. What has become apparent over the conference thus far is that all member states are striving for some form of peace, but it is their interpretation of what constitutes peace or the terms of peace that prevents its existence. In theory, member states are working towards a common goal of peace, but how will this play out in reality? As explored in workshops and debate over the conference, there are different sides to every story, different interpretations of peace. It is finding a common ground, a common peace, that delegates will
LOW IN FAT, HIGH IN SCANDAL
NZ MODEL UN IS SAUCY
aim for throughout plenary. Plenary will provide an interesting indication of whether the goal set by the United Nations of attaining international peace is indeed a tangible possibility. The principles that guide the United Nations achieve peace and prosperity are: Impartiality: It is important for the United Nations to remain neutral. They must function as a mediator and not impose their own personal views. Rule of Law: This is the legal framework that guides nations. We are all equal before the law – persons, institutions, including the state are accountable before the law.
Disarmament Demobilization Reintegration Process: It governs the use of weapons which are designed to cause destruction. It aids the return of ex-combatants to civilian life where they can continue to be a cooperative member of the community despite their fate. Consent of Parties: The United Nations can only aid countries in conflict where consent is given by the main parties that are affected. This will provide the United Nations with the necessary freedom to act. Non-use of Force: The United Nation aims to find a peaceful resolution. It does not wish to use force. However, it may use force with
the authorisation of the Security Council. This is only in extreme circumstances where the United Nations has become dependent on force for self-defence. This is a measure of last resort. Protection of Civilians: This is the United Nations major goal. It seeks to protect civilians from imminent danger. It is desirable to achieve. In practice, these ideals are difficult and may not help us succeed peace and prosperity. So, where to from here? Should the United Nations take sides or should they remain impartial? It is clear who the ‘bad guy’ is?
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NZ MODEL UN 2014
POUTIN’ - NOT PUTIN
RUSSIA AGRESSIVE? NO. RUSSIA TODAY Press Delegate
MFAT foreign policy officer Amy Adams’ insights were appreciated by many Eastern European delegates yesterday morning, but her comments towards Russia were ripe. She blamed honest Russia for instability in Eastern Europe; “(The Eastern European states) don’t know Russia’s intentions and how far they will go. They fear that Ukraine is not the last on Putin’s list.” The chivalrous delegate for Russia stated, “She victimized Russia. She disrespected the will of loyal Ukraine to be with the Mother State.” Popularly elected Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych came to the
welcoming Russia to seek support for his legitimate government. He approached prosperous Russia about a trade agreement. While the good Ukrainian President fled to supportive Russia, an imposter assumed his place. This tyrant acted against the best interests of Ukraine by turning to western powers. The patriotic Crimean Peninsula turned away from this corrupt government towards Mother Russia. Their true ever loving President begged humble Russia to protect his people from the corrupt imposter and western powers. In the interests of democracy and law, generous Russia did this. Western powers plotted to impede on Ukraine’s sovereign rights. Financial
greed and the selfish desire for trade with Ukraine through the European Union caused this crisis. They removed Ukraine’s legitimate President and replaced him with someone who would follow their command. Upon assuming power, he took Ukraine to the European Union to support his coup. These usurpers and western powers attacked the patriotic citizens of the Crimea. Supreme Russia has remained on the moral high ground on this crisis and have stood strong against the corruption of the West. The very biased comments against Mother Russia from the New Zealand diplomat were uncalled for and she will be dealt with.
READ THE BRIEFING...
TALK THE BRIEFING
MIDDLE EASTERN FOCUS ON DIPLOMACY the upcoming Indonesian AL JAZEERA
Press Delegate
New Zealand has a long-lasting presence in the Middle East, and employees at the New Zealand Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade (MFAT) play a major role in this peace work. Al Jazeera spoke to two employees, Sarah and Natasha, whose work is centred in the Asia Middle-Eastern region. Sarah’s work is focused in the Middle East, with a principle focus on the Middle East Peace Process. Her work is concerned with the removal of chemical weapons from Syria, as well as conflicts such as the Iranian Nuclear Programme and Iraq. She also focusses on Egypt, who wrongfully imprisoned three of Al Jazeera’s journalists earlier this year. Natasha’s focus is on New Zealand’s relationship with countries such as India, Bangladesh, Myanmar and Indonesia. Her job involves improving New Zealand’s relationship with this part of the world through boosting trade and economic links with these countries. Currently, she concentrates on
elections. The outcome of these elections will clearly have a large impact on the nature of New Zealand’s relationship with Indonesia in the future. Both Sarah and Natasha agree that a major benefit of working with MFAT is the excellent team environment. While there is also opportunity to develop personal expertise in an area and explore certain areas of interest, there is a “really great team spirit” in their work environment. They both also see the important role the media plays in shaping conflict. Sometimes, they find that it is “difficult to find stations that report facts”, such as CNN portrayal of the Israeli-Palestine conflict which suggests that the Israelis are the sole victims in the conflict, and ignores the Palestinian struggles. The diplomats at the New Zealand MFAT work to achieve a stronger connection withcountries in Asia and the Middle East, and to achieve a greater understanding of the importance of these countries to New Zealand’s own future.
THE BRIEFING PAPER
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HEALTH
OUTRAGEOUS OMAN BBC
Press Delegate
OUTBREAK PREDICTED AFTER CONFERENCE LOREN McCARTHY Journalists
NEWSFLASH: All individuals who have come into contact with NZMUN 2014 are at risk of contracting a unique affliction. Symptoms may include the urge to break spontaneously into debate, uncontrollable vocalisation of points of order, a sense of emptiness, and a loss of the ability to clap (is clapping ever in order?). If you find yourself avoiding the use of personal pronouns while chatting with your friends, listening to excessive amounts of Kanye or sending notes to your teacher asking to be added to the speakers list, you are most certainly suffering from this affliction. NZMUN withdrawals are real, and the struggle that
comes with them are SO real. The withdrawals have been likened to a kind of culture shock in which delegates who have been part of NZMUN have difficulty adjusting back to life in the ‘real’ world. The world where you have to go like, outside. The world where you have to like, debate what to have for lunch instead of world issues. Many delegates will struggle to deal with a world sans NZMUN. But never fear delegates, there are tried and tested mechanisms for dealing with such withdrawals. Past delegates have suggested eating copious amounts of ice cream, or for the authentic 2014 experience, perhaps Fruitbursts would be a suitable alternative. You won’t be able to find Mackintosh’s anyway
because the CAs ate them all. Stalking the UN Youth Facebook page, individually liking all the conference photos and following @EveBain on Twitter are all viable options and effective techniques past delegates have used to minimise the effects of NZMUN withdrawals. Some past delegates claim that patting cats also helps. Constantly wearing ones lanyard and refusing to take it off is considered obsessive behaviour and should not be encouraged, however it is perfectly normal to put it on now and then, close ones eyes and imagine oneself delivering an earthshattering speech in committee. Re-enact your favourite committee moment like no one is watching- just make sure no one is actually watching.
Of course, the best cure for NZMUN withdrawals is to apply for as many UN Youth events as humanly possible and to keep in touch with all your MUN friends. Following Eve on Twitter is a close second. Basically incorporate as much MUN into your everyday life as physically possible. Drink exclusively from your NZMUN drink bottle, re-read The Briefing Paper and always wear your delegate jersey #greyisthenewblack. On days ending in day we wear grey. Don’t worry, it goes with everything and you look great. If you are still struggling, make like Helen Clark and go run the UN or something-you’ll be set for life. And remember if you are ever in doubt, simply ask yourself, what would Ban Ki do?
IS CHINA OUT TO RUIN US? YOMIURI SHINBUN Press Delegate
China’s economy is the most prominent and fast growing in the world. It is estimated to become the largest in as little as ten years. This begs the question: Is China out to become the biggest superpower? The short answer is no. MFAT representatives for both the North Asian region and the Pacific region met with delegates of the Asia
Pacific Region yesterday morning. They spoke about the most important aspects of economies from Asia and Pacific regions. New Zealand and China have a valuable alliance, worth over $2 billion dollars in trade and a multitude of free-trade agreements and discussions between both parties. As tension grows between China and the USA, the two biggest powers in the world, a metaphori-
cal split emerged between the two parties. Although it seems New Zealand may have to choose sides, this is not the case. As stated by the representative of MFAT, the growth of China’s economy means the growth of New Zealand. Delegates also heard about the challenges and opportunities of the Pacific’s economy. With $1 billion dollars in exports to the Pacific, it is obvious that New Zealand is a more advanced
economy than its neighbours. In fact, New Zealand is constantly supporting the Pacific through the Pacific Aid program. It is clear they will continue to support them in their goals of improving tourism, fisheries and agriculture. Today’s MFAT visit today provided a positive outlook on different economies coexisting in our world today.
Today during ‘The Question of Combating the Defamation of Religions,’ one of the most controversial clauses yet was proposed by Oman, and seconded by Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Albania, Armenia, Liechtenstein and Bangladesh. It stated: “Recognises the superior power of our Great Lord Allah and a) Suggests all households convert to the Worship of Allah through the creation of prayer areas, b) Requests that prayers to Allah be recited at the beginning of every session of the UN General Assembly, c) Calls for punishment by stoning of all dissenters, and d) Strongly advises all non-Islamic religious materials be disposed of and classified as blasphemous.” Although there was majority vote in favour of this amendment, UN agreements prevented this from passing, to the relief of most of the world. Japan released an official statement: “Japan is extremely disappointed by the willingness of many member states to impinge on freedom of speech, and as a result, of what this might result in worldwide.” Oman reports that the overall failing of this amendment was not in favour of the spirit of the resolution. “Islam is the true religion, all other religions are fake, and so there is no such thing as defamation against religion, if there is no other religion except Islam.” Oman continued onto say, “The Bible is written by man, whereas the Quaran is written by Allah himself, so obviously has much more weight.” These outrageous comments from Oman are sure to cause much outrage in the international community.
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NZ MODEL UN 2014
HOROSCOPES: FORTUITOUS RESOLUTIONS Journalist
GRULAC
Life is about to get very spicy for delegates in this region! Something very good is coming this region’s way, is it Brazil winning FIFA or miners in Honduras being recovered? Either way, good things are in the future for GRULAC. Watch out, these delegates are too hot to touch!
ASIA MIDDLE EAST
Don’t be an invader hater! Next time USA tries to steal your man (oil) just have a little chat and tell them how that makes you feel. Have no fear! Dr Phil will be there to assist and mediate.
ASIA PACIFIC
Don’t let global warming get you down because the environment is this year’s hot topic. However, to be safe, you should learn to swim and invest in a good pair of floaties. Becoming a mermaid is another good option.
MSNBC
Press Delegate
HADEEL SALMAN With the conference coming to an end, the dawn of new relations and partnerships are soon approaching. The fate of member states is prosperous for some, or uncertain for others – however keep in mind that the future is dictated by the stars as well as personal post conference correspondence.
SHOCKING STANCE ON REFUGEE PROTECTION
NORTHERN AFRICA
Revolutions and uprisings are in the stars for you North Africa! Rip a page from Egypt’s handbook, ‘Guide to Democracy.’ Your dictator will not see it coming!
The Special Political and Decolonisation Committee on the Protection and Assistance to Refugees appears to uphold prioritisation of the rights of refugees and their protection. Unfortunately, the exception proves the rule with extremist views from Monaco and Swaziland. Monaco did not want to be associated with “poor, malnourished refugees.” The delegate’s speech was filled with slurs - calling refugees “filth” and claims they are inherently inferior. Azerbaijan raised a point of abuse by Monaco on behalf of the other delegates which was entertained by the Chair. Monaco was asked to retract its statement.
ening the resolution. Extra conditions were tacked to the end of strong resolutions such as building facilities only “if financially possible for a member state” or letting asylum seekers into countries “given that their cause is just.” The debate ended with Swaziland standing by their earlier point that refugees are “using up our water, clean water, food, good food, and to a lesser extent our very valuable oxygen.” This passing of this resolution is a step in the right direction for the future of international dealings with refugees. However, in a world where conflict is widespread and refugees do not have sufficient rights, this step is much too small and much too late.
LIBERALS TRY TO ‘SWEDEN’ THE DEAL
SUB-SAHARAN AFRICA
Avoid any civil war and high school drama. Ain’t nobody got time fo’ that! Negotiate a peace treaty but do not feel forced to sign anything that you will regret. Miss Universe can potentially assist the negotiation to help achieve world peace. Hakuna Matata!
FOX NEWS
Press Delegate
EASTERN EUROPE
Very near into the future, we see another Soviet block being formed starting with the Ukraine. The U.S.S.R will form and then fall. The current alliance with Chad will be short lived and soon you will find yourself low on cash, begging the Western European countries for funds.
One would expect condemnation of Monaco’s speech implies that the General Assembly is wholeheartedly for refugee protection. However, this action was forgotten and followed by a series of amendments that drastically weakened the resolution from countries that allege support for refugees. Notably, Australia spoke against the resolution as some clauses were “economically unstable for small nations.” Due to Australia’s history of accepting asylum seekers and refugees, it is no surprise that doubt was felt by member states in the room at Australia’s “kind concern” for these smaller nations in terms of accepting refugees. Australia and France headed amendments weak-
WEOG
Careful not to over indulge! Gluttony will be your demise. Don’t rub your wealth all up in our grill because one day the poor might become so hungry that the only thing left to eat is the rich!
WORKSHOPS LEAD TO PHYSICAL EXERCSION ‘MOSTLY WORTH IT’ - LAZY DELEGATES
MFAT foreign policy officer Lucy, having worked in New Zealand’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade for the past 18 months, cleared up any negative feelings towards liberal ideals bereft of originality. With the general theme of the current UN conference being conflict and reconciliation, Fox News questioned Lucy on what she believed was the most effective form of conflict resolution. “For me personally, mediation, negotiation, and sometimes arbitration are key. It depends on the circumstances, though New Zealand prides itself in playing by the rules.” Earlier yesterday, the Assembly was addressed by
Rob Hitchings from the New Zealand Police who spoke about how all organisations, including the UN, were “imperfect”. Lucy was asked about what she believed MFAT’s imperfections were. “I am proud to be at MFAT,” Lucy admitted. “We are people who care very deeply about seeing New Zealand succeed in the world. Through recent restructuring, we are now responding to today’s challenges.” Lucy remained adamant that the restructuring has pushed them to focus on the core mission to protect and promote New Zealand’s interests around the world “New Zealanders are becoming more agile, more innovative and more effective.” Alongside Hitchings, Fe-
licity Buchanan explained that it was “very expensive manning peacekeeping missions”. When asked whether it was fair to say that MFAT is only under the liberal mindset that you must spend more money in order to solve a problem, Lucy was ambivalent in her answer. “It depends on the circumstances,” she begins. “There is always risk assessment taken into consideration. It is important that we as a ministry implement cost-benefit analysis.” In short: the government’s wastefulness and overall incompetence continues to prevail. The state argues that it would like to overcome economic disparities, yet it fails on the disambiguate front.
THE BRIEFING PAPER
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FUTURE DIPLOMATS PARTAKE IN MILD NETWORKING
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NZ MODEL UN 2014
A SNEEZE TO DESTROY THE WORLD BBC
Press Delegate
BREAKING NEWS: Ecuador and Brazil are producing biological warfare, which, if released and not controlled, could have a terrifying global impact. Ecuador possesses top technical facilities and has conducted years of extensive scientific research on the amount of infectious bacteria and viruses released during a fairly mundane sneeze. They have discovered ways to use this natural human instinct for dangerous means.
Once one person is infected by inserting a contagious disease into their elbow, the disease is then spread by people simply linking arms. After the initial skin contact, the next person will thus be infected and so on, until communities, and entire nations are all infected with this disease. Ecuador and Brazil are planning a large-scale implementation of this warfare. What the basis of this release are and where they plan to release this disease is still unknown, but it is a huge concern for the international community.
THE DIALOGUES
Xavier is showing off his best friend, Andy Cat.
NOT ALL SITUATIONS CAN BE CAPTIONED.
NEW GROWTH IN CULT SOCIETY BBC
Press Delegate
Honourable delegates for Ghana (Kelly Stintely), Jamaica (Beth Clearwater), Estonia (Rhaz Solomon) and Barbados (Yoran Petreceli) are responsible for the so called “Flower Puff Gurls”
society that emerged among delegates at this year’s NZ Model UN conference. In a brief interview with one founder, Stintely revealed that the iconic name came from their goal to remove the flower as a female symbol, and instead use it as a symbol of power. The sec-
ond main goal of the group is the removal of gender norms from society. Delegates already part of the cult can be found with a flower sticker on their lanyards, so keep an eye out for a cult member near you.
Here’s the last one - and we chose to bring the cute factor. But where is Wellington’s Mascot?!?
Hold up - but Bowen think’s he’s Andy Cat’s best friend. 0n3 ou+z G.
“I’m internalising a complex situation in my head.” #thestruggleisreal
Lol. Jk. Here are my real friends. #mascots #basic
PHOTOBOMBING, THE WAR ON TERROR
U look great today, N can I just say, Y don’t we get together more often? O at this event, whichU and I attend, T eaching us such wondrous things like... (how H rhymes with nothing)
UN+YOUTH & ME