O-two Volume XVII - Issue 12

&'()*+',-

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

"*

Please Talk!

What is your abiding memory of this college year?

!"#$% 12TH APRIL 2011 ISSUE 12 VOL. XVII

The University Observer’s Arts & Culture Supplement

Chen Tan, First-year Medicine – My apartment caught fire two days ago. My neighbours left a convection oven on, and somehow, fire happened!

Studious Tim have the florescent lighting look down to a tee

Campus Band Questionnaire: Studious

Tim !"#$% &'(()#% '*% +,-'.% /0"(1% ('% 23(.'% "-'4(%

Jonny Briody and Richie Geoghegan talk to O-two about the inspiration for their band name, odd gigging venues and their pioneering ‘thfwip’ sound Who are your members and what do they play?

Richie: My name is Richard Geoghegan and I do lead vocals and guitar. Stephen O’Connor plays lead guitar, Jonathan Briody plays bass, and Andrew Hynes is the drummer and Jennifer Gallagher, the keyboardist.

Where did the band’s name come from?

Richie: I actually have no idea!

Jonny: The name comes from the sixth seldom seen member of the band ‘Tim’. No one is quite sure what instrument he plays, if any and why he is such a key member of the band. He is rarely seen, as unfortunately he can’t make a lot of our gigs or practices due to academic constraints.

Some have implied that the name in fact has nothing to do with this ‘fictitious’ sixth member and in fact came in part from our friends trying to find us the most obscure and anti-band name possible and also in part due to the fact that we couldn’t think of anything else that didn’t make us sound like hippie prog rockers, but we’ll let you decide which fits better.

Where do you gig?

Richie: Currently that would be birthday parties and small venues, but hopefully we’ll be gigging a lot more after the Battle of the Bands.

Jonny: Also, nursing homes, showers, back alleys, birthdays, your ma’s, sometimes even real venues such as the Student Bar, mostly places with bad security that can’t stop us from getting in.

What do you play on your tour bus?

Jonny: Monopoly, charades and a new game I invented entitled: ‘Who can best distract the bus driver on dangerous turns?’ Well, I play that, the others play: ‘Who can scream the loudest as we hurtle towards oncoming traffic?’

How do you describe your sound?

Richie: I guess it’s rock, with a big pop, blues and indie influence to it.Jonny: A mixture of that “thfwip” noise

when your leaving a cinema and your shoe nearly gets pulled off you by the sticky stuff on the floor and the vague conviction that a song with any less than 15 power chords is a complete waste of time.

How did the band start?

Richie: I started the band in January of this year asking friends in UCD, Johnny and Jen, to join. I met Andrew our drummer in the Music Society and he recruited Stephen.

What’s the best thing about UCD? Richie: The Student Bar. And the people here, the people here are cool!

What’s the worst thing about UCD? Richie: The whole academic part, how it interferes with the band and also the fact the Forum Bar is closed.

Jonny: The lack of a serious jam space or instrument baby-sitting service, it is not easy lugging a bass through six hours of lectures.

Who you would you pick to play your dream festival?

Richie: There are so many bands we’d love to have.

To name a few: Modest Mouse, Chilli Peppers, Tool, Rage Against the Machine, Queens of the Stone Age, Gorillaz, The Cardigans, Rammstein and HIM. What is your dream venue to play?

Richie: We’d love to play Webster Hall in NY or The Fillmore in California and Electric Picnic.

Jonny: The UCD Ball would be amazing!

How do you differ from other bands in UCD? Jonny: Unlike many of the other bands in this college, we don’t ‘play’ music per-se, that’s far too mainstream.

Richie: Jen put this one very well: ‘Well I know we don’t hurt your ears and make you want to pull your eyes out when you hear us.’

Check out Studious Tim’s new demo on their Facebook page now.

In conversation with Cormac Duffy

#'/$%1("#5'6%"75%5#87$879%.8(0%:8,,"9)#1

Neil McDermott, Third-year Arts – I got glassed, but I don’t remember it.

Nick Power/Football Face, Secondyear Medicine – A friend of mine had a threesome.

+INSIDE

The Swan, PhD in Russian Literature & Folklore – I chased that mothafuckin’ duck away from my lake, she won’t be coming round here no mo’. Quack!

- George Morahan

CK PART 2 TURE AND BA FU E TH TO P NTS > CO ITTER ACCOU > NOVELTY TW FASHION > ISLAM AND S > GLASVEGA

&%'#('#)**

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

"

"*

!"#$%&'(#")!!

&'()'*+

!"#$%

The Man in the High Castle by Philip K Dick Abandon your history notes and embrace some alternate history, as Stephen Balbirnie examines Philip K Dick’s visionary tale

P

+(##(,*-,%.*#/(*01) 03 REGULARS

14 HEADLINER

SOAPBOX Ching Chong Ling Long Ting Tong, writes Anna Burzlaff

– Charlie Sheen, but seriously though, O-two has done it again and bring you the bee’s elbows of the music industry, Elbow.

WHAT'S HOT & WHAT'S NOT Have you ever seen Muhammad Ali and Ali Lee in the same room? Just sayin’.

16 FILM

04 SPIRITUAL AND SEXUAL ADVICE

The end of the academic year luckily coincides with Fadora’s annual trip to rehab, and Mittens will join her to sort out a vicious dose of worms.

05 INTERVIEW

Mark O’Connor talks to O-two about the luxurious life of being a film whatchamacallit, you know, the one who makes them.

06 GAMES

Retro legend Zelda and her Ocarina of Time gets Balbirnied and O-two’s free-styling MJ reviews Dead Island.

07 EMER SUGRUE

Who knows what could be on page 7. On the O-two spreadsheet, it is labelled ‘Colour’ and E-Bomb Sugrue is writing it, so tear it out and stick it on the wall.

09 WEBWATCH

– Road Safety Journalist of the Year (yes, seriously!), Sarah Doran, writes about something that has nothing to do with road safety.

– Dan Moriarty keeps those eyes of his firmly fixed on Springfield.

11 FASHION

– “See you in Dunnes,” says Fashion Editor Donna Doyle, because if you’re reading a free magazine, you are bound to be cheap.

– Also in Fashion, a fitting homage to style icon Liz Taylor and Islamic fashion.

REVIEWS At O-two, we usually outdo ourselves at every turn. This time we bring you the exclusive review of a movie so amazing that it has skipped script, cinema and DVD, and gone straight to our film review section.

– Also in film, Natalie Portman and Zooey Descha-perfect in the same movie, we lol you not, Your Highness delivers the unthinkable.

Oh and Sucker Punch, but who cares?

TOP TEN Emer Sugrue, nerd Queen, delivers the penultimate top ten.

TV New hit American show, Bored to Death, reviewed and The Wire is our final boxing clever addition.

21 MUSIC

INTERVIEWS –O-two interviews: a hybrid of Glass and Vegas, Mark Chapman’s family and more Clouds like in issue 8.

SHUFFLE – See you at the airport with ‘Songs to Emigrate to’.

WRITE LIKE APES – FLA want you to bring them presents at the UCD Ball, *awkward turtle CD REVIEWS – It does what it says on the tin.

26 FOOD AND DRINK

– Get a very large tea towel, the retro 70s delph and hang sangwiches, reports chief food writer, Elaine Lavery.

28 BACK PAGE

– Your memories of the college year, O-two quizzes UCD campus – When they’re as big as U2, you can say you read them in O-two. We give you Studious Tim.

Instead of the colourful letter from the editors of O-two, I’ve taken it upon myself (Mittens) to say nice and mean things about the magazine’s editors.

Donna/Kieran, I was always jealous that the fashion pages were designed so much nicer than mine. The arrows in every issue were not a personal swipe at you Kieran, but you were right, they were meaningless.

As for Donna, you are petite and full of surprises.

We loved having you, even more than JHB loves you.

Marry me!

George/Grace, *awkward turtle* second editorial role to suffer a resignation midway through the year.

George, you made an amazing first impression on Mittens when you showed up at the office at 9am on the dot to do an interview with Fyfe Dangerfield for your first O-two article, even though you had to travel from Bray to do so. You’ve filled the Music Editor role with the same professionalism as Grace Murphy did for the first seven issues and were a delight to have around the office.

Jon Hozier-Byrne, I have taken far too many of your late night calls trying to give advice on what should go in my insightful column. However, you have really stood out of the Glen Coco shadow this year and found an area to excel in. You are an inspiring writer. I always flick straight to your content when I pick up a copy of the paper.

Killian, you’ve been shy to pull your weight in O-two over the past few weeks and made Emer do all the hard and easy work. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Especially when you forgot to put her name down for the Smedias Magazine of the Year entry, that was disgraceful. But in hindsight, that didn’t really matter at all, did it.

Emer, another awards ceremony, and another year of being robbed. You are O-two’s Colour Writer of the Year and were an excellent co-editor to keep the ship running when Killian was busy writing whatever the hell he wanted when it suited him. You are the queen of O-two, and Fadora McSexywho will never take that away. Just to make sure you got the longest individual appraisal, Mittens has thrown in this extra sentence.

Fight Like Apes, your columns/philosophical ruminations on the virtues of Solpadine have consistently been among the highlights of this publication, thank you and you’re more than welcome back anytime.

Last, but certainly not least, PAC man. Peter Anthony Corway, your press releases were a welcome change from the usual “Rihanna’s new multi remixed single is out BUY IT”. We were gutted to lose you and your hive of band manager contacts. Get in touch, O-two misses you.

And O-two will also miss all of its amazing readers.

You guys make the magazine what it is. Wait what am I saying, that’s ridiculous – we make the magazine what it is! How could the readers make a magazine?

Until next year, Meow.

hilip K Dick is one of the most seminal science-fiction writers of the twentieth century, his work not only being incredibly immersive but also highly cerebral. Even those who have never read one of his books have probably seen one of the films based on his work, such as the acclaimed Blade Runner (based on Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?) or more recently, Richard Linklater’s animated adaptation of A Scanner Darkly.

Some of Philip K. Dick’s books can be quite daunting, so for those who are unfamiliar with his work I would recommend The Man in the High Castle as a brilliant starting point. A winner of the Hugo Award for best novel in 1962, The Man in the High Castle is a combination of science fiction and alternate history.

The book is set in the United States in an alternate universe where the Axis powers won the second world war, America is split into Japanese and German occupation zones, and the Cold War is between Germany and Japan instead of the Americans and the Soviets.

The premise for the novel is an incredibly chilling one and realising such a world is a very ambitious undertaking, but the depiction of Japanese-occupied San Francisco is one that draws the reader in.

The main action of the novel takes place against the backdrop of Cold War intrigue, as the top Nazi officials

scheme against each other for control of the Reich.

The plot follows the intertwining lives of Mr Tagomi, the Japanese trade mission to San Francisco, Robert Childan, an American desperately attempting to emulate his Japanese overlords, Frank Frink, a Jewish man living under a false identity, his ex-wife Juliana, and a Swedish businessman with secret motives called Baynes.

Dick masterfully draws these disparate and complex strands together into an intelligent and compelling narrative that is as times, like much of Dick’s work, mind-bending to say the least.

However, one of the most intriguing aspects of The Man in the High Castle is the book within the book.

One of the novel’s characters, Hawthorne Abendsen, writes a book in just the same way that Dick does, exploring an alternate reality to his own, and snippets of the text appear throughout the novel.

Abendsen’s book ‘The Grasshopper Lies Heavy’ is about an Allied victory in the second world war, but even this does not match our reality, as it features a Cold War between the United States and Britain, with Churchill as the dictator of a new British Empire.

With so many strands, it can sometimes be tricky to keep track of all that’s going on, but The Man in the High Castle is definitely worth the effort.

The Man in the High Castle explores an alternative universe where the Nazis win World War II and control the world

Drunk on hate

Some people may be happy to spend €5 on Rum and Vodka, but the play seems to leave a sour taste, writes Matthew Jones

C

an you put a price on 57 minutes and 43 seconds? I’d like to think that an hour of my time is worth at least a fiver. That being the case, Kevin O’Connor and Kieron Smith owe me €5, each.

O’Connor has directed Rum and Vodka, a short, one-man monologue, originally written by the playwright: Conor McPherson. Kieron Smith takes the lead role, a twenty-something civil servant whose life unravels over the course of an alcohol-soaked lost weekend.

Sounds good right? Well, maybe it was first night jitters, but I did not like the play. Smith’s performance was strained and at times, he mixed up his lines. The dramatic pauses in the play, which were meant to show the man’s anguish, were instead just empty gaps with Smith pinching up his face at the crowd.

Characters in the play come and go without any real significance. Only hours after witnessing this performance, I found it difficult to remember the man’s wife (it’s Marie, by the way). Smith’s character claims to

be very much in love with his wife and daughters, yet there were no emotional ties evident. Smith explains how his character lost his job, his wife and his whole life over the course of three days.

There is a significant lack of emotion in this play.

When trying to portray anger or sadness to the audience, Smith just varies the volume of his voice, as well as the amount of spittle that flies out of his mouth into the crowd. Instead, we are expected to substitute dialogue and character development with repeated pub scenes.

The director and performer can’t be blamed for all the problems in the play however. Maybe it was the performance, but for a supposedly uneducated man who spent the last few days on an alcohol-fuelled bender, the dialogue is quite philosophical and introspective, with the still drinking man taking his time and silently contemplating his lot in life.

To take a quote from the show: “I think I hate the human race, I think they know, and they hate me too.” Don’t worry Kieron; the whole human race

Kieron Smith looks at the world with scornful eyes doesn’t hate you, just those of us who saw that performance.

Rum and Vodka, presented by the Gonzo Theatre Company, is running from April 4th to 9th in the International Bar.

&!!'()('*+,-

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

"*

Life’s a picnic

With the days getting longer and warmer, Elaine Laverty gives us the guide to summer dining

F

Homemade Lemonade

Keep this recipe new and interesting by substituting two of the lemons for two limes or two oranges as take your fancy.

Serves 8: 225g sugar 300ml water Freshly squeezed juice of 4 lemons 800ml sparkling or still water Fresh raspberries, strawberries or sprigs of mint (optional) First you must make a sugar syrup by combining the first lot of water with the sugar in a small saucepan. Dissolve the sugar in the water by stirring over a low heat. When all the granules of sugar have disappeared, bring to the boil and boil for 2 minutes. Leave to cool and refrigerate (this will keep for months in the fridge).

When ready to make your lemonade, combine the lemon juice with the sugar syrup and remaining water. Serve in a large jug with a few raspberries, chopped up strawberries or mint sprigs, if desired and plenty of ice. Alternatively keep cool with an icepack if bringing on location. This will keep in the fridge for a day or two.

!"#$%&'(#")!!

&'()

!"#$%

We at O-two believe in social, gender and racial equality: Anna Burzlaff hates EVERYONE who talks in the library

Before you face into three months of social ignorance, Alison Lee gives the last word in what’s hot and what’s not

Spanish tortilla (frittata)

Again this is a recipe that can be altered to your liking. Cubes of cheese and bacon lardoons work particularly well.

Serves 6-8: Olive oil 8 eggs, beaten together in a large bowl with salt and pepper 2 large Spanish onions, sliced 200-300g potatoes, peeled and diced if large or halved if baby new (leftovers are even better) Preheat the oven to 170, or grill on high. Heat a few glugs of olive oil in a medium frying pan. Slowly fry the onions over a low heat for about 15 mins or until soft. Then add the potatoes to the pan and raise the heat to medium (you may need to add more olive oil at this stage). If the potatoes are already cooked they just need to be quickly warmed through and crisped up. Otherwise cook for a further 15 mins till cooked through.

Tip the eggs over the pan (keeping the heat on medium and cook for 5 mins. There is no need to stir the mixture but make sure that the onions and potatoes are evenly dispersed. Finally, transfer to a hot oven or grill for a further 5 mins, or until firm and set in the centre. When cooked run around the edge of the pan with a sharp knife and tip onto a large plate. This can be eaten immediately but is even more delicious eaten cold with a simple green salad.

urrounded by figures from Aristotle to Hemingway, instilled with the ideas of Sartre and Derrida, our library and lecture theatres could undoubtedly be the fountain of all our worldly wisdom. Why is it then that in these sanctums of thought, I am inadvertently privy to the inner workings of the person’s next to me weekend, lunch, or nauseating relationship with Deco; the rugby player that never seems to text back, even though the girl “like reeeally likes him”.

In recent times, I have found these safe havens of knowledge inexcusably assaulted the most annoying of the annoying, mindless talking. A trip to the library has now become a game of mathematical probability based on who is the least likely to embark on a conversation with their neighbour midway through my study session. The stress of exams and essays is far surpassed by the steady rise of passive aggression as I listen to Tweedledum and Tweedledee discuss their unassailable indignation that “that bird” at d|two wouldn’t put out last night.

Worse still is the steady drone of whispers during lectures. I cannot help but wonder at the thought process when someone decides that talking during a lecture is somehow more beneficial than talking outside. I do not care what you’re wearing to Tripod tonight, nor do I care how much of a bitch Susie’s being since she got with

Luke.

After around 20 minutes my head is spinning with questions: why did Hitler invade Poland?

What are the results of colonialism? Why did Mike tell Krista she looked fat last night? It takes a huge amount of restraint on my part not to spin around and embark on a frenzied rant not dissimilar to Robert De Niro circa Taxi Driver.

Certainly topics such as Deco’s inability to text back or Krista’s alarming weight gain are topics worth discussing, however they are topics worth discussing privately. They are topics worth discussing without the theories of postmodernism spouted in the background.

In many ways, I admire the audacity of such people to think that in a library where you can hear a pin drop, their chat is somehow beyond the realm of the audible, or that other people are happy to sit and enjoy their tales of inebriation and rejection.

I am not advocating that libraries or lecture theatres become monastic, where the utterance of a single word results in expulsion, but I am begging, pleading, that any conversation longer than “Hi” or “What question are you answering?” is simply postponed until the only people that can judge your weekend antics are those you confide in. Falling asleep in your own vomit is embarrassing enough without having the other 500 people in the library know about it.

What’s Hot

S

market (or the local Tesco).

In summer, the most simple of salads come alive.

Try baby leaves tossed with nectarine and Italian Parma ham, or Wexford strawberries and balsamic vinegar. Dips such as hummus or guacamole teamed with crudités such as carrot, celery or cucumber sticks make for perfect picnic food.

In no time at all, you can prepare frittata, similar to quiche without the fuss of having to prepare pastry. If you have time, more substantial salads incorporating grains and pulses can be prepared a little in advance.

Avoca Café must be commended for coming up with the most original and interesting salads and have produced a recipe book dedicated to them, costing next to nothing. Buy it, use it and reap the rewards.

Back to basics, the humble sweaty squashed cheese sandwich never tasted better than on the beach.

Throw in a bag of Tayto crisps and you have nostalgia.

On the subject of rose-tinted glasses, summertime is the perfect occasion to remember the ice creams of your youth. While some of our old favourites such as Fat Frogs (the non-alcoholic variety) seem to have disappeared, others such as the choc-ice, iceberger, brunch, loop-the-loop and twister live on.

A bottle of chilled white or rose will always compliment outdoor eating or you could go all west Brit, kit yourself up in Ralph Lauren and go for ‘Pims in the park’. However, for real class nothing beats a warm two-litre, two-euro plastic bottle of cider. In truth, my preferred picnic drink is homemade lemonade, for which you will find a recipe below. Cheers!

&

SOAPBOX

Warning: UCD library’s contingent of airheads is likely to inspire Travis Bickle-esque levels of anger

While St Stephen’s Green (pictured) is a scenic spot, other areas such as Brittas Bay, Powerscourt gardens and even your own back garden are perfect spots for a picnic

HOT NOT

WHAT’S WHAT’S The imminent arrival of summertime

Wedges (not the potato kind, the shoes)

Crysis 2 (the most awesome shoot-’em-up ever!)

The clocks have gone forward, giving us a whole hour extra of sunshine (or daylight at least) to enjoy.

Perhaps we’re rejoicing prematurely, but after the winter we’ve had, O-two fully endorses celebrating the arrival of summer and the threemonth break on the horizon. Yes, there are exams to slog through first, but at least there’s something to look forward to!

Girls, no longer do you risk breaking an ankle teetering around in stilettos after downing one Jägerbomb too many.

And guys, you won’t have to worry about getting your foot impaled during a night out. Chunky wedges are this summer’s must-have footwear, so enjoy the surface-area-topressure ratio while you can.

Crysis 2 is not your average shoot-’em-up affair. It’s not a game for the faint-hearted either – prepare to battle your way through a ravaged New York City in a nifty nanosuit, fighting aliens and dodging the deadly Ceph infection.

With outstanding graphics and an epic soundtrack, this release from Crytek has made it a good week for gamers.

Arnold Sucker punch – Schwarzenegger the worst movie as… the of the year Governator

What’s Not

ood, the finest of life’s pleasures never tastes better than when eaten al fresco. As I find myself Dublin bound for much of this summer, I hope for nothing more than a half decent Irish summer so that I can fill it with long lunchtime picnics and balmy evening barbecues.

I mean, who wants to spend hours sweltering in a hot kitchen on a fine summer’s day? With summer food, less really is more so buy seasonal and Irish where possible.

While we Irish are out barbecuing the minute summer arrives, the Irish picnic is less of an institution, which deserves more celebrating. You don’t have to travel far, just set off for your local park with your chequered rug and picnic; venture into the capital to spend a day lulling in Stephen’s Green; or if that’s too inconvenient, migrate to your back garden. If you want to make an occasion of it, Dublin Zoo, Brittas Bay or Powerscourt gardens are all ideal locations.

Equipment-wise, tupperware, plastic cups, a few plastic forks and spoons nicked from your local Deli and kitchen roll will set you up nicely. A penknife is also a very useful picnicking tool, especially if you are preparing on location after visiting a local farmers

*

Arnold Schwarzenegger, freshly evicted from office is set to become a cartoon superhero. The Governator, developed

by Stan Lee, is ‘loosely based on his recent political career’. Loosely as in he is a superhero fighting crime and natural disasters with a 13-year-old computer genius sidekick. There’s so much WTF in this we’re going to need the next three months just to process it.

Since when have inmates of an insane asylum had access to fake eyelashes?

And since when has lingerie been suitable clothing to wear on a battlefield? Not only does this movie make no sense, it’s sexist, clichéd, and essentially just soft porn for computer geeks. If you have any taste at all, don’t go near it.

The lack of quality acts playing Marlay Park

Many of us have fond memories of sun-drenched gigs in Marlay Park, where thousands turned out for world-famous artists like Metallica, The Who, and Daft Punk. And what do we get this year? Villagers, Seasick Steve and Rodrigo y Gabriela, playing a tent with a 5000-person capacity.

No offence to these musicians, but it’s just not the same.

&'()*+

!"#$%

Dear Fadora, I, like every right thinking UCD student, have been following your hilarious and thought-provoking column over the last year. I believe I speak unanimously when I say it has been the best sex column ever, particularly in issue two, when you actually talked about sex.

I guess my question is: how can I be more like you?

Yours, Jon Hozier-Byrne Good evening Jon, This is probably the question I, unsurprisingly, get asked most often. The mystery of Fadora McSexypants is a riddle, wrapped in an enigma, basted with a paradox and served accompanied with a general feeling of unease. So,

in order to clarify, the often-disputed events of my life, I’ve decided to tell you a little about myself.

I was born, as is customary, and quickly began making a name for myself across the playgrounds of Tijuana, Mexico. My mother, Consuela McSexypants, named me after the famous hat, because according to local legend, I was born wearing one.

I was educated in the arts of etiquette, social graces, and geography. I consumed new knowledge voraciously, and became an avid enthusiast in the fields of both ladylike comportment and coastal erosion.

These happy days were not to last however. During the height of WWII, I was sold to a small farm in California, where I’d live out the next decade as bar-wench, farmwench, and occasional bench-wench. After years of serious, gritty wenching, I set off to wench my way across

Mystic Mittens

!"#$%&'(#")!!

*

the country.

There were some pretty glorious adventures in the following years. In 1956, I attended Woodstock, but no one else arrived until many years afterwards. While on holiday in Texas in 1963, I was cleaning my rifle on a grassy knoll when it accidentally discharged. The noise wrecked my head.

I spent the rest of the decade in a VW van travelling around with a group of drug addicts solving mysteries.

I sold my life story to Hannah Barbara, and with all my sweet Scooby Doo money, went on a bender until 2007.

After that, I decided it was time to get my life in order.

Like anyone who’s angry at the world for no real reason, and is desperately seeking validation, and genuinely believes they’re cleverer than they are, I became a mature student in UCD. My college life has been nothing short of revolutionary – I was the one who changed the name of the Forum to the ‘Centre Bar’, I was the cause of that whole rumour about the toilets under Arts, and I invented Chris Wong.

In short, there is no easy way to be like me. All I can suggest is that you are true to yourself, to your heart, and to your trousers. Try and make women more ladylike, and men more gentlemanly. Insist your man wear suits at every occasion, and insist your lady throws out HJs like Haribo on Fresher’s Week. If you can do all this and really piss off a bunch of feminists, you’ll be doing alright.

Thank you to everyone who’s read my column over the past year, thank you to everyone who’s written in and sought my sexy wisdom, and always, always remember, don’t stop, never give up, hold your head high and reach the top – let the world see what you have got, bring it all back to you (bring it all back now).

Love and Cuddles, Fadora McSexypants, BA, PhD, TTFN. Next week, Fadora won’t be up to much.

OPHIUCHUS

(November 30 – December 17)

Mittens is still struggling to completely accepts you into the Zodiac clique.

With you students being starved of Mittens’ sage advice for the next couple of months, M&M looks at the constellations and sees what’s in store

ARIES (April 19 – May 13) That J2 to Mexico to work, as a cleaner will see you bring back more than you bargained for.

FYI, abortions are cheaper in the British Channel, so just wait until you’re home.

TAURUS

(May 14 – June 21) You’ve already paid for the flights to Fukushima and admittedly the hotel that you booked may not exist anymore, but why let some flooding and isotopes put you off?

GEMINI

(June 22 – July 20) Gemini’s are habitual stayat-homers for the summer months and rarely commit to travelling further than the nearest store that sells Tesco vodka.

CANCER

(July 21 – August 10) You and Rebecca Black share the same star sign. You couldn’t go far wrong by living for every Friday like she does.

LEO

(August 11 – September 16) It’s truly amazing to think that over the summer you’ll become a millionaire for writing the hit pop song of the summer, but by September 8th you won’t be able to afford SU coffee.

VIRGO

(September 17 – October 30) On the face of it, inter-railing looks like great fun. See lots of cities, meet lots of people, have fun with your friends, sleep in public parks, lose a finger, get sold as a sex slave…

LIBRA

SAGITTARIUS (December 18 – January 20) “Ching Chong Ling Long Ting Tong” should be enough lingo to make sure you get by in Asia.

CAPRICORN (January 21 – February 16) Sharing is caring, so bogarting the toilet paper at that in the Romanian youth hostel to make a mummy suit will not earn you friends.

AQUARIUS

(October 31 – November 23) Libras are infamous for their sense of adventure – a trait that often lands them in troubled waters, emphasis on the water.

(February 17 – March 11) As Venus moves into a new moon, so your migration will cause a period of change too.

Ha… period! Gross.

SCORPIO

PISCES

(November 24 - November 29) You will go in search of the famous beach in Thailand. Unfortunately, Leonardo DiCaprio won’t be there, but the drug dealers with guns will be.

(March 12 – April 18) Ditch the bitch during your travels. Draw in the anchor for your Eastern European sex binge.

"*

!"#$%&'(#")!!

&'()*

!"#$%

CD reviews Album of the fortnight

Artist: Tune-Yards Album: whokill

!"!"!"!"

Artist: Friendly Fires Album: Pala

!"!"!"!"!

Pala is the second album from Friendly Fires, following up on their Mercury nominated self-titled debut. Whilst many bands seem to struggle with second album syndrome, this has clearly not been the case for Friendly Fires. This is the record of a band with utter self-confidence and at the peak of their powers.

Pala strikes a perfect balance between indie and dance, and the record fits together very well with no songs seeming out of place. The first track, ‘Live Those Days Tonight’ is a fantastic opener and a real floor-filling club tune. It’s a great song and sets the tone for the rest of the album.

‘Hawaiian Air’ has quite a positive, summery feel to it and the album’s title track also makes perfect listening for a laidback, sunny day. Pala also closes very nicely, with the final track, ‘Helpless’, containing elements reminiscent of some of the best dance music from the 90s. It should make for some excellent live performances on the festival circuit.

In a Nutshell: An ideal summer soundtrack.

- Steven Balbirnie

Just over a year ago, Dirty Projectors played an impressive show to a packed audience in Whelan’s.

Yet despite the excellence of their performance, it was not the Brooklyn-based band that everyone was raving about. Instead it was Merrill Garbus (aka Tune-Yards); with her idiosyncratic blend of folk-cum-afrobeat-cum-yodelling, that left an indelible mark on the evening. w h o k i l l represents a maturing of her sound, following her intermittently brilliant but badly produced debut, Bird-Brains. Yet the eccentricity and brilliance remain, as she manages to temper her excesses into a more coherent, crisp-sounding second album.

Given the sense of musical chaos and countless idiosyncrasies that permeate album highlights such as ‘Powa’, ‘Bizness’ and ‘Killa’, the obvious comparison is to other alluringly strange female solo artists like Bjork and Kate Bush.

Nonetheless, the hip-hop tinge to her sound, coupled with her ability to play an assortment of instruments equally adeptly, means the potential female equivalent to Beck is a more apt comparison.

- Paul Fennessy Artist: Bell X1 Album: Bloodless Coup

!"!"!"

On their fifth album, Bloodless Coup, Bell X1 have uncovered some dusty melodies that breathe with a fresh undertone of rhythmic electro beats. The stripped back opening track, ‘Hey Anna Lena’, makes a change to the expected festival-friendly choruses associated with the Kildare band.

Bloodless Coup cuts deep, immersing the listener in its laidback aura and alternates its pace with many noticeably lengthy tracks. Tracks such as ‘Nightwatchmen’ and ‘Sugar High’ manage to whisk your mind away and highlight the textural strengths of Paul Noonan’s voice.

‘Velcro’ is the most vibrant track on the album, offering lyrical insight into romantic obsession so effectively that the line “I’ll be your Velcro” somehow works. O-two is sure that after repeated radio plays, it will seem as profound.

In a Nutshell: Sit back, relax and let it slowly win you over.

- Laura Brennan

Artist: Yngve & The Innocent Album: Draw a Line

!"!"!"!

Draw a Line is the second EP to come from Irish-raised, London-based Yngve and the Innocent. At only two tracks, it’s a brief-yetrewarding listen that promises much for this young band’s future.

The opening bars of ‘Draw a Line’ recall Jack Savoretti and Damien Rice, but once the saloon-inspired piano line and vocals are introduced, it’s Johnny Cash that comes to mind. The harmonies that infiltrate the chorus are nothing short of angelic – akin to June Carter accompanying Yngve’s Johnny.

Of the two songs, it’s not the mellow and slightly more upbeat title track, but the darker ‘Changing Tracks’ that stands out. With angst-ridden lyrics, and Ned Cartwright’s persistent piano echoing the vocals, it’s a truly spectacular piece.

Hopefully it won’t be long before they finally release their first album because, with an EP like this, it’s definitely something to be anticipated.

In a Nutshell: Super awesome.

- Katie Hughes

Artist: Britney Spears Album: Femme Fatale

!"!"!"

Britney Spears may be forever associated with her teen-pop roots, but her seventh studio album, Femme Fatale, audaciously attempts to change these perceptions through a mish-mash of musical flavours, from dubstep (‘Hold It Against Me’) to Euro dance (‘Till The World Ends’).

Everyone knows that Spears isn’t revered for her vocal ability and by the sound of Femme Fatale, so do her producers. Every song has been treated with auto-tune to the point that anyone could be singing. The Will.I.Am-produced ‘Big Fat Bass’ only hints at being a Spears tune with a few of her trademark moans.

Femme Fatale is a triumph for style over substance. While Britney will win few new fans over with this album, I’m sure everyone will be found dancing to it in Coppers.

In a Nutshell: More auto-tuned than Rebecca Black, but the perfect album for a power walk into college.

-Kieran Murphy

!"#$%

&'()*

!"#$%&'(#")!!

"*

Festive friction

With both Oxegen and Electric Picnic to look forward to this summer, Sophie Lioe and George Morahan argue which is the more worthy way to spend your hard-earned cash

*

!"#$%&'(#")!!

&'()*+&),

!"#$%

Divine Liffey divide Indie writer and director, Mark O’Connor, speaks to Ryan Mackenzie about his latest project, working with Damien Dempsey and advice for young filmmakers

While Oxegen remains the higher profile event, Electric Picnic’s status has grown considerably in recent years

Electric Picnic

W

ith this year’s remarkable lineup, Electric Picnic has proven itself to be Ireland’s true alternative festival. Since its inception in 2004, the event has developed a comfortable little niche for itself in the Irish music calendar.

What started out as an obscure one-day event has rapidly spread across a three-day weekend, and is now a legitimate contender for Oxegen’s crown as Ireland’s biggest and best festival. However, it’s an entirely different beast to that Punchestown bash, and for those seeking something beyond the 2fm playlist, Electric Picnic is the festival for you this summer.

One term that perfectly encapsulates this year’s line up is strength in depth. Whilst the top of the bill is jaw droppingly impressive, there are many delights to be discovered at its foot.

For instance, we have a trio of Choice Prize nominees – Adebisi Shank, O Emperor and the Cast of Cheers – giving a timely reminder of the wealth of young Irish talent about and acts such as The Walkmen and Twin Shadow from across the pond.

In the cases of Lisbon and Forget, the two Brooklynite bands have respectively produced a couple of the past year’s better albums, and will be assured of a warm reception.

Micah P Hinson is sure to be an incendiary figure this year.

The Texan folk singer’s post-Obama material has spiritually anointed him the musical wing of the Tea Party. He will be a talking point, to say the least.

The middle order presents a diverse range of acts well matched to a lazy, sunny afternoon spent lying on the grass, drink in hand. DJ Shadow and Flying Lotus will provide some memorable mixes, and are not to be missed, while Reggae legends Jimmy Cliff and Toots & the Maytals are sure to bring a smile to your face. And for those with energy for dancing, The Go! Team will be endowed with ample funkiness to go around.

Though Interpol have something to prove after the muted reception that awaited their self-titled fourth album and the departure of bassist – and all-round Renaissance man – Carlos D, we can be sure of them being one of the weekend’s high points. The Chemical Brothers will not disappoint; an audio-visual feast is virtually guaranteed and a revitalised PJ Harvey will bring her latest album, Let England Shake, to life, in what will be one of this year’s most anticipated sets.

Finally, the prospective returns of a newly reformed Pulp and Canadian titans, Arcade Fire, to Irish shores have left O-two salivating. Arcade Fire are coming to the end of their world tour in support of The Suburbs. The triumphant energy surrounding the Montreal eight-piece combined with the excitement for the revival of Jarvis Cocker’s Britpop legends is going to make Electric Picnic 2011 something unforgettable.

Electric Picnic 2011 takes place from September 2nd-4th at Stradbally Hall, Co. Laois. Weekend tickets are €240, Sunday day tickets are €99.50.

- George Morahan

Oxegen

F

oo Fighters, The Strokes and My Chemical Romance playing alongside Swedish House Mafia, Bloody Beetroots and Crystal Castles? Only at Oxegen 2011. This year, the organisers have managed to secure one of the most impressive and varied lineups in recent years. You could be a glow-paint splattered rave enthusiast or an overgrown emo kid and you’d still manage to find exactly what you’re looking for at this year’s festival, which takes place, as usual, at Punchestown Racecourse in Naas from July 8-10th.

There has been a slight reversion back towards more traditional guitar acts, such as the veteran likes of Arctic Monkeys and Coldplay after Eminem and Jay-Z significantly raised the hip-hop presence at the top of last year’s bill. However, the urban influence of recent years hasn’t been entirely lost, with artists such as Tine Tempah, Bruno

Mars and the Black Eyed Peas still holding strong.

Relative newcomers from across the musical spectrum are also well represented. Recent breakthrough acts such as Two Door Cinema Club and Jessie J, who have only just exploded into the musical conscience of those even vaguely attuned to today’s pop scene, are sure to be welcomed by a typically fervent crowd.

Another new name, which cannot be ignored, is UCD’s very own Madisun. After successfully gigging around the Dublin circuit, the band have built up quite a following and were only recently named the winners of Captain America’s Battle of the Bands. The former Campus Band interviewees are showing signs of real potential; who knows what Oxegen could bring. This time next year they could have made their way from the back pages, to gracing the front cover of the O-two.

Despite the undoubtedly strong lineup, there has been some controversy over the absence of Blink 182. Originally billed as a headliner, and one which would be the sole reason to attend Oxegen for many a ticketholder, their unexplained disappearance from the confirmed lineup is disappointing to say the least. There is speculation that they have cancelled all of their summer tour, which include a number of UK dates, but these rumours are as yet unconfirmed.

On a more positive note, Oxegen-goers can look forward to enjoying home grown talent such as The Script, Fight Like Apes and Imelda May. Judging by The Script’s epic performance at Oxegen 2009, the crowds like nothing more than waving a few tricolours and being told that we were the reason behind everything that band has achieved. It’s nice to be loved.

So for the Oxegen virgin or veteran, this year promises to be an unforgettable one; so be sure to bring enough beer, perhaps some sunscreen, definitely a pair of wellies and enjoy.

Tickets for Oxygen can be bought for €99.50 for a day ticket, €199.50 for a three-day ticket and €244.50 for a four-day camping ticket.

- Sophie Lioe

Between The Canals tells the story of a group of Northside inner city friends during St Patrick’s Day

F

or a long time, inner city Dublin has been the focal point of the Irish film industry. Hits such as Intermission, The Commitments and Adam and Paul demonstrate the intrigue and attraction of this theme, something Between the Canals writer and director Mark O’Connor no doubt took into consideration when creating his latest project.

Set in a quintessential inner-city Dublin borough, Between the Canals follows the journey of three best friends from Sheriff Street over the course of St Patrick’s Day. The film, however, is by no means a romanticised interpretation of Ireland’s famous national holiday, quite the opposite in fact.

Marred by the drug-infested crime world that surrounds them, the three friends are forced to fend off the threats of rival gangs and the temptation of a life of crime amid the ever-growing peril of poverty. It is, in essence, a story of friendship.

While speaking to O’Connor, it becomes clear that realism was undoubtedly his motive for the movie. He speaks about how that he wanted to “make something that was real to the area and give a voice to the people” and hinted that his own personal experiences prompted many of the scenes and characters. He feels that a crime drama set in the nation’s capital was an avenue yet to be explored by other Irish films, and saw Between the Canals as the perfect movie to fill the gap.

In the pursuit of obtaining untainted believability, the young director took an unorthodox approach by seeking the use of amateur actors for leading roles. His reasoning was to avoid the bad habits actors often pick up when they’re in acting schools.

O’Connor believes that directing novice actors enabled him to “bring something out [of them] that’s completely natural and completely real, so it feels like a true performance”. In fact, some of the actors were even discovered on the street, after the process of auditions proved to be fruitless for the director.

One member of the cast was not plucked from obscurity though. Irish singer-songwriter, Damien Dempsey, plays Paul Chambers, a Dublin crime boss in his acting debut. While at first seeming to be a rather bizarre addition to a cast of unknowns, O’Connor explains that it was the musician’s own working-class background that spurred him to join the project.

The director also suggests that Dempsey might have what it takes to forge a bright future in the film industry, remarking: “Damien has intensity, on-stage presence and openness. You can work with him and he’s definitely got the ability.”

The project was incredibly low budget, which was ironic in keeping with O’Connor’s desire for authenticity. On a meagre quota of €100,000, filming was cut to only twelve days and actors were put under intense pressure to meet the rigorous deadline.

The film’s funding came from the Irish Film Board (IFB), of whom, despite their limited financial input, O’Connor speaks very positively of: “The Irish Film Board were great. They were very positive towards the project and they took a chance with a first-time feature writer/director,” he says, adding: “I loved working with them.”

It would seem that the IFB are the best source for any aspiring filmmakers, according to O’Connor. This being

his first feature-length film and having made various short films in the past, the young director was new to many of the tasks and responsibilities involved in the process.

What’s more, O’Connor believes he has found his style and “something that interests [him] the most”, hinting that he intends to stick with the genre. His next project involves closely working with the travelling community, for which he will no doubt form a close parallel with his approach to Between the Canals.

For students hoping to get into the filmmaking industry, O’Connor’s advice is simply: persistence and practice. He describes the earliest stages of his career in the business as “a nightmare”, having spent ten years “working as a runner and trying to get work”, and implored perseverance.

While riding the inevitable struggle which greats any newcomer to the industry, O’Connor suggests that aspiring directors should “make as much stuff as they can” and hopeful writers should “write everyday”, all the while on the lookout for “people who take their craft seriously”.

It is clear that Mark O’Connor is passionate about the film industry. Often tainted by one-dimensional romantic comedies and so-called ‘Popcorn Movies’, the medium of cinema sometimes falls victim to criticism. It is, however, a powerful source of art and expression and O’Connor has made wonderful use of these expressive capabilities in his first feature length film, which cleverly captures the arduous world of inner-city Dublin, while also delivering an intriguing story.

Between the Canals is out now

&'()*+',-*)./,/0/1)&

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

Eyes on the prize

*

"*

!"#$%&'(#")!!

&'()*

!"#$%

Write Like Apes

Multi award-loser Emer Sugrue whinges about Student Media Awards

In their final O-two column, Fight Like Apes give their thanks to you, the reader and hope to keep you satisfied with a quick quiz. There are prizes, apparently

Songs to emigrate to With his suitcase packed and a plane ticket to New Zealand in his pocket, Joe Munnelly gives us his soundtrack for leaving the country…if he was leaving the country ‘SO LONG, FAREWELL’ – SOUND OF MUSIC

The Smedias is like every awards ceremony you ever feasted your eyes on: incredibly boring

I

t’s April and the summer is finally starting to poke its burny fingers through the veil of Irish cloud.

All week, students have been flinging themselves on the grass beside the lake like dying bumblebees, complaining about deadlines and watching naked mentalists. But it’s also the time of year where everyone in the media starts patting themselves on the back and passing around shiny trinkets in honour of the jobs they are already paid to do.

It seems to be a uniquely media-based endeavour – you never hear of awards for computer programmers: “Least error-filled code of the year” or “Most work done while simultaneously playing World of Warcraft”. Maybe a stable job and money is enough. We in student media however have no such prospects, with at best an Arts degree and no social life under our belt when we eventually leave the sheltered womb of full-time education, so to make it seem somewhat worthwhile, we have an awards do.

Last Wednesday was the annual Student Media Awards (Smedias) and we at The University Observer got all dolled up and ready to drink ourselves to oblivion. If you have never been to an awards ceremony, here is a trade secret: They are extremely boring.

Even when you are up for an award yourself you spend the night checking your watch and looking longingly at the bar. The glamour quickly fades as you realise you will spend the next few hours clapping while someone reads a list of names you’ve never heard of. I can only imagine how soul destroying something like the Oscars is for the audience, I have never made it past the halfway point of

the show and that was with the benefits of a comfy chair and regular tea breaks.

Considering half the celebs haven’t eaten for several days beforehand, I wonder why they don’t just call in sick and post some pictures of themselves standing on their own carpet. They’re millionaires, they can afford a red one.

One serious disadvantage the Smedias have, over other awards, is that you have no idea who the other people are, or what they’ve done. With the exception of the winning short film (a hilarious Adam and Eve date rape scenario...it made more sense and less offence in context) we didn’t get to see or read anything and were denied a wealth of snark.

With the Oscars, you can revel in indignation when a terrible film wins something and shout loudly at the screen how that other film had much more poignancy and boobs but with the Smedias, you are just left to assume that everyone’s work was about the holocaust. If America has taught me one thing, it’s that Nazis mean prizes. But that’s not fair, America has taught me lots of things, like how to add bacon and luminous cheese to everything.

The Smedias was hosted again this year by Dáithí Ó Sé. Oh Dáithí, you silly mess you. During last year’s awards, I think it would be fair to say he was a bit of a state. He and co-host Kathryn Thomas were...how do I put this delicately...merry? Kathryn swayed and giggled, while Dáithí rambled on and complimented anything with a uterus.

After the ceremony, he confided that he had drunk

two bottles of wine for lunch, slept through rehearsal and woken up about an hour after he was supposed to arrive. Considering he actually told me that, the situation clearly hadn’t improved over the intervening hours.

This year, they seemed to have learned their lesson; they blasted through the nominations at dazzling speed. There were no anecdotes, no speeches and no horrible comedians. No good comedians either, the speed at which the event took place was astounding.

They just read the names and blasted music as the winner walked up to collect their prize, drowning out our plaintive cries of “fuck you”.

Maybe next year they can save the money and just post the list of winners on the door of Mansion House.

Before we knew what happened or could even start weeping, we were out the door and on the way to the after party.

It was an incredibly fun night in the end, lots of drinking, dancing and fisticuffs with The College Tribune. Even though The University Observer didn’t get as many much as we’d hoped, three were won for from the main paper (You know, O-two’s wrapper, it has politics on it).

Whatever our success with awards, after a year of hard work and tirelessly putting together a free newspaper for the students of UCD, maybe you can argue that really, we’re all winners. But that night I lost two awards, my digital camera and at around 3am, my dignity. *Sigh* maybe next year.

In her next column, Emer talks about the holocaust.

Personally, I hate musicals, but you have to admit this classic has some catchy tunes that still have thousands lining up to pack the theatre. This song will have you leaving over-dramatically and, if you’re lucky, with maybe a tear or two.

‘GOODBYE MY LOVER’ – JAMES BLUNT Self-explanatory, but this song, although torturously lovey-dovey will see fit that your one true love leaves knowing how devastated you will be after they’re gone. Whether this devastation is from their leaving or being subjected to this song is open to debate.

‘GOODBYE’ – MARY HOPKINS I don’t know who she is either but ‘Goodbye’ was written by Paul McCartney and was released in March 1969. The Beatles never officially released it, but Mary made it No 2 in the UK singles chart. I can imagine it now – the blond bombshell waving as you weep with all dignity lost, screaming for her to come back – ah, fatal love.

‘GOODBYE’ – KE$HA This one will surprise you – you can actually hear her real voice. Well, at least I think so. Without the autotune, the bass and beat Ke$ha actually sings. It’s not my cup of tea, but at least she’s not brushing her teeth with a bottle of Jack in this one.

‘HIGHWAY TO HELL’ – AC/DC Released in July 1979, ‘Highway to Hell’ was AC/ DC’s fifth international studio album and the title track is an awesome tune, which will have you accelerating right outta here.

‘LEAVING ON A JET PLANE’ – JOHN DENVER

Originally written by Denver, ‘Leaving on a Jet Plane’ was made a hit in 1969 when Peter, Paul and Mary released it as a single. Understandably cringeworthy, but a must when you’re taking off to pastures new.

‘LAND DOWN UNDER’ – MEN AT WORK I seriously doubt you haven’t heard this song. Released in 1981 on the debut album Business as Usual, the song ‘Down Under’ went No 1 in both the American, British and Australian charts. For anyone heading to the land down under, you won’t be the only one, I can assure you.

‘ON MY WAY’ – DISNEY’S ‘BROTHER BEAR’ Written by Phil Collins, ‘On My Way’ was released in 2003 as a soundtrack for the Disney animation ‘Brother Bear’. As it’s a Disney song, it’s an upbeat tune that’s perfect for the journey that lies ahead – did I mention it was from Disney?

‘GOODBYE’ – SPICE GIRLS Please don’t pretend you don’t know the song, it’s easier that way.

“TAKE ME HOME, COUNTRY ROADS’ – JOHN DENVER Dedicated to West Virginia, ‘Country Roads’ was released in 1971 and is one of Denver’s most popular and well-known songs. I’d be surprised if you haven’t heard it and trust me, you won’t resist singing along.

‘ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT’ – UNKNOWN The only song that offers you step-by-step instructions for travelling – step one: have a boat, step two: row the boat, step three: go down the stream and step four: try to be happy about it. Let’s face it; plane tickets are expensive when you’re on a tight budget.

Hi you. This is our last column with The University Observer. We hope we have kept your ears open and your pants poised. We’re going on tour this weekend and the good news is we have secured 24 Solpadeine for the journey.

Seeing as we’re not going to be talking to you for a while anyway, we were thinking we should tell you some stuff that we’ve been afraid to tell you before.

Whoever guesses the most correct answers in our game of ‘Who done that?’ wins a date with all of us after a gig for 25 minutes. Send your answers to fightlikeapes@gmail.com. Go! 1) One of us has athlete’s foot.

2) Two of us have knocked down old-aged pensioners.

3) One of us fled the scene of these crimes.

4) One of us has a vagina.

5) One of us pooed our pants during the recording of our second album.

6) One of us used to play with Dire Straits.

7) One of us coached a teenage girls basketball team.

8) Two of us had life long dreams of joining the Billy Barry kids.

9) One of us joined a knock off version.

10) One of us worked at the pick ‘n’ mix at the cinema.

11) One of us isn’t entirely sure what we did in college.

12) One of us studied agricultural science & did an entire project on a potato.

13) One of us kissed our cousin by accident.

14) One of us has diplomatic immunity by accident.

15) One of us owns a BMX. 16) One of us passed our driving test the first time.

17) One of us passed it the second time.

18) It only took one of us five attempts.

19) One of us claims to be allergic to salad.

20) One of us was accused of urinating in the corner another band member’s kitchen by said member’s parents.

21) One of us was once told very sternly to ‘calm down’ during sexual intercourse.

We feel much better for telling you all these things about us. We miss you and the way you would listen and never judge. Our heads hurt now.

If all goes to plan, we will see you at the UCD Ball this month. We hope it’s very good. So far we’ve received nothing from any of you for our birthdays so if you have anything you’d like us to have, please bring it to the ball.

Thanks, MK, Jamie, Lee

&'()*

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

""

Quality control Ulrich and Heidi Lenffer of Cloud Control chat to Aoife Valentine about the impact of the internet, playing to industry execs and being siblings

!"#$%&'(#")!!

Games:

Trailer failure

The use of cinematic trailers, while enticing gamers, builds up expectation to unrealistic proportions, writes Matthew Jones

I

Contrary to their website bio, the band formed because of an impulse entry for a ‘Battle of the Bands’ competition

+,-.,/0,,1/%1/#%23/ )/#4516/7%3/80%2#/ 8/9,83/1%$:/81;/ <%.51=/%.,3/4,3,/ 5#->/?2>#/=%51=/#%/ >#83#/8@@/%.,3/8=851 going to start all over again, so we’ve really got prioritise finding writing spaces and times in between all the touring.”

Cloud Control also played SXSW last month in Austin, Texas, and they describe the experience. “I think it was more fun from a touristic point of view than from the point of a band having satisfying performances,” says Heidi. “There’s 2,000 bands and about as many venues. It’s really hard to get noticed if you’re a band with no profile over there, which we were. We had some pretty average shows, but we had a couple of really good ones as well. I think it’s an exciting atmosphere to be a part of for sure, and we loved Texas!”

It’s quite rare to see any criticism from bands about SXSW, as Ulrich explains: “You need to be there with a mandate, like someone has to be backing you, someone has to be really excited about you, whether it’s a blog, whether it’s a label, or the whole world in some cases. I mean it was good for us, we got to meet a whole bunch of people from labels, US labels and a whole bunch of people that we’d never met who are dealing with us overseas.”

He continues: “It’s different, we’re used to playing shows where you get a direct response, people are screaming and they come up and say we really enjoyed that, whereas here, some exec will go off and say quietly to his assistant: ‘Oh yeah that band was good, check them out and then let’s work on this’, which is not really an exciting result.” Heidi concludes: “You’re playing to industry professionals instead of fans, which is hard.”

The dynamic between the two is interesting. It’s clear they get on brilliantly, but it must affect the band as a whole in some capacity? “I think we hold this band together to be honest, and no one’s here to defy me on that,” jokes Heidi. “We’re a bit of a force to be reckoned with.

“Sometimes it can get a bit much, but sometimes Al and Jeremy can get a bit much, they’re like brothers themselves. It’s really great to travel around with part of your family, it’s good.” She turns to Ulrich and jokes: “You’re okay” to which he responds: “You’re alright.”Touching, really.

Bliss Release is out on May 20th.

&'()*

!"#$%

’ll be frank, I’m a gamer, a geek. In fact, I’m so much of an n3rd that I spell it with a ‘3’. As such, I tend to get a bit excited whenever there is word of a new game in the pipeline. But when the news is accompanied by a trailer of excessive proportions, I get a bit lost in the moment.

Therefore, on March 3rd, when the trailer for Dead Island was released, I was more than a little excited. If you have not seen this trailer, go online and look it up, that is of course, after you finish this article.

This trailer is so packed full of cinematographic goodness that within a week, there was rumours of a movie deal in the works. Since then, the producers, Deep Silver, has been in talks. Despite rumours to the contrary, the rights to the movie are still very much up for grabs, with several parties apparently interested in making a deal.

Shortly before this announcement however, the next in the well-established Elder Scrolls series, Skyrim, was announced. No fancy trailers here, just some close ups of a statue and an old man doing a bit of narration.

Yet why are there almost as many internet hits for an unknown game?

That bloody trailer. The sheer amount of hype for

A

s is the norm these days, the internet is where Sydney’s Cloud Control have come to get early recognition and it’s a forum they’re huge advocates of. While the blogosphere helps them to discover music they would have never heard of, it’s also allowing people to discover Cloud Control worldwide.

Ulrich Lenffer, the band’s drummer, explains: “It just lets people hear about you in like Albania and Serbia, that would have absolutely no idea who we were and don’t even know where Sydney is and yet they can still hear about us.”

Similarly, his sister Heidi (keyboard and vocals) says: “The idea is that you try and let people discover [your music]. Blogs let people feel like they’re discovering things for themselves still, which is important. I guess because music is such a personal thing, you don’t want to feel like you’ve been forced to appreciate a band. The internet is a bit of an adventure world and you can still poke around and stumble across things. I get kicks out of it.”

The Lenffer siblings met with vocalist Alistair Wright and bassist Jeremy Kelshaw in school. However, they didn’t form a band until Heidi entered a ‘Battle of the Bands’ competition in university, on a whim, which they subsequently went on to win having quickly thrown together four songs.

The true story is contrary to the one told by the website’s band biography, which says they met in the green room at rehearsals for a Pirates of the Penzance gig.

Heidi laughs: “Yep, fictional. Look, I like a bit of creative writing and someone told me to go for it with the band bio. People told me that no one takes band bios seriously on the internet, so I put them to the test.”

Over half a decade later, the band have released a selftitled EP and their debut album, Bliss Release, garnered a string of nominations and awards. Bliss Release won last month’s Australian Music Prize and just last week, the band permanently relocated to the UK, in advance of their UK and Irish headline tour. With such a hectic touring schedule ahead and plans to play festivals all summer, is there room for a new album?

“Definitely. We don’t have any recording dates locked in.” At this point Ulrich interjects with a huffy: “We haven’t written any songs!” but Heidi continues: “We definitely need to write. We’ve been on tour I think for about a year now, and moving over here, it’s just

*

this game is unreal. The short movie, because it really is a movie, gives no details about the game and this led to a massive amount of speculation about the nature of the story, who the kick-ass father is and when it will be released.

Recently however, it has been revealed that the game may indeed be a Dead Rising clone, focused on action and adventure, instead of the tense, emotional story that we were promised.

This is a valid tactic though. It worked on me after all; I’ve gotten so invested in this game that I simply have to buy it to find out if it will be as good as I hope.

This has happened before after all. Let’s take Halo as an example; its ‘Believe’ advertising campaign promised us a far more epic story than was delivered. Yet the Halo 3 launch was, without doubt, one of the biggest multimedia events of all time, with well over one million copies of the game pre-sold during the campaign.

These methods are fast becoming the norm with computer games. Developers will always over hype their product before release, and unfortunately for people such as myself, we get sucked into it. If Dead Island delivers on what its trailer promises, it will break the normal trend. Alternatively, it could easily become yet another example of a game trailer creating hype that it can’t possibly live up to.

Behind the mask M

ajora’s mask is one of the forgotten gems of the Zelda series. This game ranks not only among the best of its series, but among the best games ever made. It’s unfortunate that the game is constantly overshadowed by Ocarina of Time, which is being re-released for the 3DS this year because of its popularity. brilliance of Majora’s Mask arises from the innovative plot and superb gameplay mechanics. Link, the hero of the series, finds himself in Termina, a twisted mirror-image of Hyrule where essentially, he must endure a darker version of Groundhog Day. Link has three days to prevent the demonic Majora’s Mask from crashing the moon into the earth and destroying all life in Termina.

Each of the 72 hours equates roughly to a minute of playtime, giving the player about an hour to save the world. If you fail to do so, you have to travel back in time to the first day and live through it again; though each time you’ll gain new knowledge and some items such as masks and weapons carry over with you.

The three-day mechanic of the game works fantastically, as the tangible passage of time adds to the experience. As the sinister moon looms ever closer, the background music grows progressively more er-

A large number of game trailers tend to promise the world, yet fail to live up to the expectation created. Will Dead Island (above) be an exception to this rule?

Ocarina of Time may be the most famous Zelda game released, but Steven Balbirnie highlights its oft-forgotten successor, Majora’s Mask

ratic, while the behaviour of characters shifts noticeably with some beginning to flee their homes.

What’s also excellent about this mechanic is that it allows for events taking place concurrently throughout the world. Unlike many other games, events take place whether or not you witness them with nonplayable characters getting on with their lives rather than eternally standing in one spot and repeating the same statement every time they speak to you.

Aside from the timeline feature, the other novel aspect of the game is the masks. There are over 20 masks to obtain throughout the game with their functions ranging from the essential to the bizarre. For example, one mask has the useful ability of increasing Link’s speed while another solely allows you to listen to an old lady’s stories without falling asleep.

However, the best masks are those which allow Link to transform into some of the creatures of the series – the Deku Scrubs, Gorons and Zoras. Each race has its own unique abilities introducing a fresh dynamic to the series as Link must transform himself to tackle the various challenges he encounters in his quest.

Essentially, Majora’s Mask retains all of the best aspects of the series while staying innovative. If you have a Wii, then make sure to download this treasure from the Virtual Console channel.

While putting some gamers off when released, Majora’s Mask 72-hour timeline makes the game a tighter and more focused experience

&'()*+

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

*

North by northwest Africa More than just deserts, hot sun and camels; let Aprar Elawads take you through the delights of northern Africa

"!

&'()*

!"#$%

Family matters !"#$%&'(#")!!

Kingsley Chapman, of indie-punk crossovers The Chapman Family, talks to Conor O’Nolan about their passion for touring and debut album

I

The interior chambers and passages of the pyramids are one of many attractions greeting you in Egypt

I

f the idea of staying in Ireland for another cloudy summer doesn’t appeal and you’re looking for a cheap holiday, sun and a bit of culture shock, then northern Africa is the place to go. Between Egypt, Tunisia and Morocco, you should have more than enough to do for a couple of weeks holiday.

Egypt is one of those places that you just have to see for yourself, if only to see what all the fuss is about.

Let’s just say that it’s hot to say the least. It may feel more like being in a large oven but for the sightseer in you, there’s so much to do and so many places to go, you’ll barely have time to catch your breath.

I would suggest starting up in Alexandria, the second largest city in Egypt. Beside the Mediterranean, Alexandria is great for meeting the locals to get a better sense of the country rather than the touristy towns and cities. It’s a beautiful city with contrasting architecture reflecting the country’s history from the Greek to the Romans.

And no trip to Egypt would be complete without going to Cairo, where there are more than enough mummies and museums to keep the child in you very amused. If you start at the centre of the city, you can see it grow older in front of your own eyes before you finally reach the pyramids.

By that stage, you will have hyped them up so much in your own head; they’ll impress you even more when they live up to it. If you are lucky enough to get inside, then it’ll make the travel and heat completely

worthwhile. The various chambers and passages inside are beautiful and you will be left speechless by the sheer scale of it all.

If you have the time, one of the best ways to get a sense of the city’s history is by taking a trip along the Nile. The scenery is breathtaking and while on the water, you will get a much longed for breeze to cool you down.

From Cairo, I flew to Tunisia, which by itself would make a perfect holiday. It has a taste of everything – desert oases, Berber architecture, ancient ruins, the Sahara, stunning mosques and bath houses. You’ll find something to suit your tastes whether you want to stretch out on the beach, or if you want to soak up the true nature of the country.

Not knowing what to expect of Tunisia can end up adding to the experience, as it is, in many ways, a meeting point for so many cultures. It has the scars of French colonialism, a long Islamic rule and traditional African cultures all combining to give an extremely diverse selection of food, music and art.

My final destination was Morocco, which is full of great marketplaces, colourful palaces, mountains and beaches. Marrakesh is a must-visit and Fes, the cultural capital of Morocco, won’t disappoint with its beautiful architecture and beautiful art fairs. Living costs are generally cheap, but for the sightseeing tourist, admission fees do add up.

You can find a very good place to stay for under

€10, and having another €15 spending money per day should be enough to get you by. If you like to be more experimental with your food, then Morocco should be an interesting place to visit but even for the picky, there is a wide range of cuisines available.

There are great cheap trains, but while they can be very busy during the holiday period, it’s usually not difficult to get first class tickets on the day. To avoid complications however, book as far ahead as possible to be on the safe side.

The nightlife is quite good in the big cities, but as you venture outwards, it might be harder to find. I recommend going to some of the clubs on the Nile, which mainly consist of large boats that have been converted into clubs and restaurants. As for the language barrier, in Egypt, English should be fine – you’ll find a couple of English channels and papers and the locals should have a basic level. However in Tunisia and Morocco, the main European language is French, so dig out the old Leaving Cert books before you go.

A visit to northern Africa at some point in your life is essential. The sheer variety and activities in these countries is truly unique, making it a centre of both modern and ancient culture and attractions, along with breathtaking scenery and perfect summer weather. So, pack your bags, slap on some factor 60 and get ready for the adventure of a lifetime.

t’s quite difficult come up with an accurate comparison for The Chapman Family; their singles represent the incredible diversity the band has to offer. ‘Kids’ is like a scuzzy Queens of the Stone Age with an English accent, while ‘Anxiety’ sounds not unlike the dark indie of Editors. Their songs are permeated with punk-inspired drum beats and heavily distorted guitars to provide a genuinely different sound. Such a desire to stand out has been vital to their existence.

The band’s formation came from vocalist/guitarist Kingsley and rhythm guitarist Paul’s frustration at the music scene in their hometown of Stockton-onTees. “It was about the back end of when every band I seemed to see wanted to be The Libertines,” he says.

“You’d get bands coming down from Scotland or from Newcastle, or from down south, and every single one of them would try to put on some sort of weird Cockney accent.

“Every single band I watched from one week to the next, you could pretty much interchange some of their lyrics slightly, or they might be wearing slightly different Converse, but they’d pretty much be the same band.”

As Kingsley reveals, the band’s genesis was born of said distaste for the contemporary music scene, as well as a genuine passion for it. “I love watching live music, I love going to gigs, it’s everything I love about music in general, but we just found ourselves getting really bored of it.” For once, frustration lead to result, the band slowly started figuring out how to write songs.

Their first demos were written with the aid of a drum machine before they enlisted Phil to play for them, and Pop subsequently joined as their bassist. “He later admitted he couldn’t play, but he turned up with loads of noisy brightly coloured distortion pedals that seemed to fit in.”

The quartet have clearly come far and bonded as a unit in their five years together. All of them have since taken on the Chapman moniker, Ramones-style, and their chemistry is only helped by an especially active touring schedule. “We try to tour as much as we can, it’s the thing I enjoy the most about being in the band.

[We’re] not really that bothered about recording.”

Kingsley’s passion for live music helped the band to develop a serious work ethic and they have toured almost constantly independent of management.

“For the first couple of years, everything we did was powered via MySpace, we didn’t have a manager, we just managed ourselves, so without knowing too much about how social media works, we just made it up as

O-two can assure you The Chapman Family are not a cult we went along, sent out messages to pretty much every promoter in the country trying to get a gig.”

Although such self-sufficiency has clearly helped the band to evolve, it significantly slowed their attempts to record and distribute their music on a larger scale.

While the band are eager to tour, they had been quite slow to record their music. They have been together since 2006, yet their debut album, Burn Your Town,

+,%-.#/0.

12-3#.4%5670. %1.809-3:.

0;0-8#/2<=. $0.>2>.$93.

6%$0-0>.;29. &8(6940:.$0. >2><?#./9;0.9. @9<9=0-A.B0.

C53#.@9<9=0>. %5-307;03D.

has only just come out. “The first time we went into a recording studio is when we recorded our first single ‘Kids’, that was at the end of 2008.”

Despite their unfamiliarity with the studio, the excitement about the release of the album is palpable: “It’s been a massively long time coming for us, we’ve had quite a lot of bad luck and a lot of good luck at the same time”, explained Kingsley. “I think with us being so drastically unfashionable, in the UK particularly people just assumed we’d dropped off the radar, ‘cause we weren’t really gigging that much, but we were working quite hard behind the scene.”

The band were determined to create the absolute best they could during their time in the studio “We wanted to make sure our debut wasn’t half assed, what we put out was as good as we could do at the time.”

It surely helped that the band had been refining the sound for a long time before entering the studio. Their first big break was going on an NME-sponsored tour with La Roux, which exposed them to a large number of people. They then graduated to the summer festival circuit, which helped garner even more fans. Last year in between recording sessions for their album they played at the legendary SXSW festival in Austin, Texas.

Back during their formative years, the band accidentally coined a phrase that would haunt them in interviews and promotions later on in their career.

“When we started out, I didn’t really know how MySpace worked,” he recalls. “When I uploaded the first demo to it, I had to come up with a headline for the demo, I didn’t really know what to write, so I just put in: ‘We’re not a cult’, because I thought it sounded like a newspaper headline. Then we sort of jumped on the back of it and foolishly made T-shirts of it.”

For now, the notoriety has sustained them, but they will all likely be in the past soon enough.

Burn Your Town is out now.

&'()*

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

")

Bittersweet Symphony Paul Donoghue, of Glaswegian rockers Glasvegas, talks to George Morahan about the empathy, euphoria and heartbreak

*

!"#$%&'(#")!!

Webwatch:

Twittiquette Brevity is the soul of wit and now it’s confined to 140 characters: Sarah Doran picks out Twitter’s finest novelty accounts

T

Glasvegas have matured greatly ever since they broke onto the music scene back in 2007

H

ype can kill any band. Those who survive the fawning yet fickle gaze of the modern music press are made more resilient for it, but that doesn’t mean they will escape

unscathed.

In the case of Glasvegas – who were instantly ravaged by the NME upon the limited release of their 2007 single, ‘Daddy’s Gone’ – such expectation and responsibility caught them unaware, as bassist Paul Donoghue explains. “It’s like getting a punch in the face, and you have to wake up. Looking back on it now, we’re very lucky to have had that time, we’re stronger people for it, and we’re much more mature people now.”

In the wake of all the publicity, Glasvegas left for New York to record their self-titled debut album and, upon returning to the UK, it seemed the band would retain their balance, but the added workload came too quickly for them to handle properly. “As things went on, I think we struggled a little more. It was such a change in our lives. I don’t think we expected it to be such hard work. We thought it was more ‘turn up, play a gig and go home’ and that was all we’d ever done.”

What started as an excuse to sit around, get drunk and occasionally play some guitar was now a career.

Glasvegas had gone to number two in the UK charts, whilst garnering critical plaudits and a Mercury Prize nomination. The band was now established, in-demand, they even supported U2 at Croke Park.

Drummer Caroline McKay was first to crack, leaving the band in late 2009, but they were all buckling under the weight of promotional demands and straining familial relations. McKay may have not been able to continue; however success had the biggest impact on vocalist and guitarist James Allen. “It was hard for James, especially with the way he writes his lyrics.

When he wrote ‘Daddy’s Gone’, he didn’t know how big

it was gonna go and how much it would connect with people,” he says. “It was uncomfortable for him the first time he spoke to his father about it.”

The song resonated with people and the album consistently showed an ability to blend the deeply personal with an anthemic spirit; a talent that has defined Glasvegas’ fledgling career and is a vital part of the band’s identity. “I think out band runs on emotions. That’s not always the best way to be, but I think emotions are what drive us. I think if we didn’t show that anymore, we wouldn’t do it, we’d give up.”

While James’ gift to harness such private pain is one of the qualities that Donoghue deeply admires about him. “James is a very empathetic person. Sometimes all it takes is a look and James knows what’s happening inside that person’s head. He’s done it with me before and it is stuff I don’t even realise.”

Their aptly named second album, EUPHORIC /// HEARTBREAK \\\ incessantly explores its titles themes. Donoghue suggests that they are two sides of the one coin and either would be pointless without the other. “I think if you didn’t have heartbreak, you wouldn’t know what euphoria was. I think they’re two opposites that work very well together.”

On top of that, Allen’s capacity for empathy has been stretched further than ever as he contemplates the pain and compromise of closeted homosexuality on two songs, ‘I Feel Wrong’ and ‘Stronger Than Dirt’. The latter of which, Donoghue recalls, came as the result of a fleeting glance across a busy room.

“We were at this party one night – and I was totally oblivious to this happening – and these two people we know, these two guys, one of them is there with his girlfriend, but James saw the way they looked at one another and he could tell there was something going on. But that look said everything to James and he

knew that it doesn’t matter whom the other person is.

That’s love and it’s very rare that you’d see that.”

In early 2010, the band demoed ‘Stronger Than Dirt’ and the rest of the album in Santa Monica, California, with new drummer Jonna Löfgren. It was a productive retreat and one that significantly altered the band musically.

Where Glasvegas was heavily indebted to the sounds of 50s Doo-Wop and Glaswegian shoegaze pioneers The Jesus and Mary Chain, EUPHORIC /// HEARTBREAK \\\ grasps at Depeche Mode’s brand of stadium electro-rock. “We’d just got into the album Violator by Depeche Mode, which really inspired the music. We were a bit more open, this time, to trying a bit of keyboard. Before it was like: ‘What’s that doing in the studio? That thing with the black and white keys’.”

EUPHORIC /// HEARTBREAK \\\ proves Glasvegas are a band aiming for the jugular and they expect their audience to react as much. “We don’t mind people saying they hate us or love us, but we hate being in the middle or just being alright.” Such statements demonstrate how their attitudes towards music have been significantly adjusted since the early days, a fact that isn’t lost on Donoghue. “It’s actually weird hearing everybody say goodnight at midnight and going to bed rather than going out, looking for a party.”

They may have matured, or even mellowed, but it doesn’t feel like they have become blatant careerists either. Their ambitions remain reassuringly modest.

“As long as we can still go on tour and still make albums and keep enjoying it, we’ll be very happy.” No pressure.

Glasvegas play The Academy on April 28th. Tickets are €23. EUPHORIC /// HEARTBREAK \\\ is out now.

&'(

!"#$%

witter: your best friend during exam time, your handy iPhone app, that thing you have no idea how to use. TV presenters, sports stars, actors, ‘yer ma’; almost everyone is using it, even Lord Voldemort.

Indeed when you tire of reading about what your friends ate for lunch, novelty tweets are the perfect remedy, even if on occasion they may prove a tad disturbing. They range in category from the real to surreal, from shitmydadsays to Charlie Sheen.

Charlie McDowell’s ‘Dear Girls Above Me’ is a collection of responses from the beleaguered occupant of the apartment below to the ramblings of two loud and ludicrous LA lassies: ‘Dear Girls Above Me, “Hey Claire, what day is it?” Oh no, please don’t sing--“It’s Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday.” It’s Thursday!’

McDowell’s novelty account has proven popular enough to land him a spot in Time Magazine’s top 140 Twitter feeds.

Yet his success seems meagre when compared with that of Justin Halpern’s shitmydadsays. Within months of tweeting his father’s rather raucous comments about life, love and everything in between, Halpern’s feed became the inspiration for a CBS-produced sitcom. $#*!

My Dad Says stars Star Trek and Boston Legal veteran, William Shatner, as Halpern’s disgruntled daddy.

On the world wide web, the line between fantasy and reality has never been drawn and Twitter is no exception.

Hundreds of novelty accounts have popped up online featuring Lord Voldemort is one of the more famous parody Twitter satirical impersonations of famous accounts to follow figures.

Pope Benny XVI provides ample entertainment on to lose your empire.’

Theological Thursday, when he imparts his religious Lord_Voldemort7 has been tweeting up a storm in wisdom: he’s still pushing for the reintroduction of recent months and just picked up a Shorty Award. Lord V reincarnation apparently. The Real Rob Mugabe will received the award for Humour in Twitter’s answer to the keep you posted on current affairs and has been doing Oscars and was quietly pleased: ‘I’ve won a Shorty Award. so for quite some time. To remind the world that it was As with my other trophies, I’ll turn it into a horcrux & International Women’s Day, he tweeted: ‘I’m listening to hope people take that “I died laughing” thing seriously.’ that wonderful song about female empowerment, Kelis’s Though they do inspire a slight worry for the mindset Milkshake.’ of their creators, this particular brand of novelty account Luke Skywalker tweets his Darth’s thoughts through tends to hit the nail on the head when it comes to humour. shitmydarthsays: ‘Egypt: if you can be defeated by rebels Harmless fun or verging on psychotic? You decide. Just whose only powers are Facebook and Twitter, you deserve remember, Charlie Sheen’s account is actually real.

Welcome to the internet, my friend!

Remember when The Simpsons actually had good jokes? Dan Moriarty takes a look at a website that pays homage to the show’s glory years

E

ye on Springfield is a simple pleasure; the foot massage of blogs if you will. It celebrates those bygone days when The Simpsons was a sharp and funny television show.

The blog celebrates the show from the first to the ninth season where the team behind it felt was its golden period.

This is backed up by writer Mike Scully, who ran the show for seasons 9-12, responding to a question about the shows longevity. ‘Lower your quality standards, once you’ve done that you can go on forever’, he replied, a mantra repeated by college boys to the mirror before every night out.

The blog itself is simple yet entertaining. It comprises of a daily uploading of a single still frame from a Simpsons episode, mostly one that you remember seeing but cannot pinpoint what episode.

Occasionally there will be a little quotation, rarely stretching beyond five words so it’s more of a visual feast. It may make one wonder why they didn’t just watch The Simpsons instead.

Eye on Springfield is a decent blog. It is nicely laid out and the Kent Brockman-esque design, the show where the blog gets its name, is clever. It certainly does have an initial visual appeal, but the idea behind the blog is just a little simple. The screen shots are interesting when you see them first but they don’t have the same appeal of Facebook, Asos or indeed Pornhub that will bring you back an hour later.

The site also contains a listing of eight people as part of ‘The News Team’ (keeping with the Kent Brockman theme), who have used some cool little app to ‘Simpsonify’ their faces. Clicking on any of the faces takes you to another blog or website by the person you clicked on. For myself, these were the most interesting part of the blog; especially Eric Carmichael’s external site is concerned with the workings of the brain.

For the casual Simpsons watcher this site is interesting but vaguely so. For those very into The Simpsons, I would imagine it is fantastic. It is full of opportunity for bookish theorising on various facets of the show.

In some ways, the blog is just that, a Simpsons fetish property.

Eye on Springfield includes images from episodes which had no bearing on the episode’s plot, highlighting the layers of jokes The Simpsons had in its heyday For those who reminisce about the heyday of The Simpsons, the site would be worth looking up. For others, there’ll probably be a Family Guy-themed picture blog up in a few years that you’ll appreciate more.

&'()*!+

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

!)

!*

!"#$%&'(#")!!

&'()

!"#$%

The rise and fall of Charlie Sheen

Michael wears:

t 4USJQFE U TIJSU Ç&#x17D;

t %FOJN LOFF MFOHUI TIPSUT Ç&#x17D;

t /BWZ $BSEJHBO Ç&#x17D;

t (SFZ DBOWBT TIPFT Ç&#x17D;

t %FOJN TBUDIFM Ç&#x17D; All from River Island

!"#$% &'())'% $)(*)& A Maria wears:

t 8IJUF UBOL UPQ XJUI SVÄ&#x152;F Ç&#x17D;

t 4LJSU Ç&#x17D;

t 8PWFO XFEHFT Ç&#x17D; "]8FBS

Models â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Maria Madden and Michael Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Donnell Stylist â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Donna Doyle Photographer â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Jon Hozier-Byrne

dapting catwalk fashion to your own wardrobe can be a difficult task. What may look stunning on mannequin beauties on the runways of New York or Milan can most often result in a sartorial failure on the average person. Calvin Klein supermodel, Nils Butler may have rocked out the crop top on the runway for this spring, but within the humble walls of the Engineering building, I doubt the off-the-wall choice would receive the same response.

The reality is we are imperfect and diverse in our make-up. We need to learn to dress, inspired by what descends the catwalk sure, but in a way that reflects our individual style and most importantly accentuates and complements our own assets.

High street stores in this case serve as a convenient middleman. They provide the best of, and most importantly, the most accessible trends from the runway, ultimately bringing fashion to the masses.

With this in mind, it is necessary to change your wardrobe this season and freshen it up after a long, drab winter. Ditch the winter coat and three layers of tights â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and grit your teeth through the coldâ&#x20AC;Śyou might even achieve a few freckles for it.

For the ladies, bold patterns dominated the runway and similarly do so on the shelves of our local stores.

Bold and exotic prints enliven any outfit, while a multitude of floral patterns offer a more feminine choice.

Tribal fashion has been incorporated in many new

Media indulgence and societyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s willingness to glorify the actions of Charlie Sheen provokes Jon Hozier-Byrne to ask why this ideal doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t transcend gender

Charlie Sheenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s private life has been the source of much speculation ever since his notorious interview on a local New York radio station

I

s it just me, or do we enjoy watching celebrities crumple into a fetal ball of drug abuse and mental illness more than we probably should? There is something perversely fascinating about watching a star, someone who we previously held up as universally aspirational, crash and burn in a dramatic, and bizarrely satisfying way.

But what is it that so excites us about watching the completion of a starâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rise and fall? Why do we take such pleasure in the misfortunes of others, but only justify our pleasure if the subject was previously an object of public adoration? In short, what is wrong with our media, and what is wrong with us?

Immediately, these questions become strictly gendered.

Media criticism of the social habits, personal choices and indeed the very personalities of media darlings has traditionally been the domain of female stars. A drug-snorting, sex-crazed male celebrity is bad enough, but apply the same characteristics to a female star, and the crime is instantaneously shaded as somehow unforgivable. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a sad reality of media culture that female stars are judged with infinitely less forgiveness than their male counterparts.

It has gotten to the point where male indiscretions are an almost expected part of the male celebrity persona.

Male film stars are not punished for their promiscuity in any tangible way; in fact, it seems to reinforce their masculinity, to re-assert the assumed virility that is such an essential part of the masculine celebrity persona. The male

celebrity narrative is almost incomplete without a sexual indiscretion, dutifully forgiven by the their style-icon wife or girlfriend, lest she be seen as a spiteful woman, and have the always-fair court of public opinion swing against her.

From Robert Downey Jr, to Hugh Grant, to Russell Brand, a sex or drug scandal serves as more of a blessing than a curse to a newly invigorated male persona. Apply this to a female, however, and instead of a laddish misdemeanour becomes an unforgivable sin. Britney Spears, Christina Ricci, or Lindsey Lohan have all become victims of the mediaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s double standards.

How then, does one describe Charlie Sheen? The difference between the aforementioned male and female breakdowns is the implication of a mental illness, which is a large part of the subtext regarding a female breakdown. Scandal-ridden males are judged as victims to their â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;alpha-maleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; nature â&#x20AC;&#x201C; females must just be crazy. Charlie Sheen, however, is clearly being treated as a victim to the traditionally female starâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s trope of mental illness.

The most peculiar aspect of the mediaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s treatment of Sheen has been the construction of a film-like three-act narrative within the coverage of the starâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s meltdown. Sheen was once a model family man: bright, handsome and most importantly, the heir apparent to a respected Hollywood dynasty.

The media, and the public that so voraciously consumes it, needed an explanation as to how this idealised character transformed into a raging, ranting media presence. How

did Sheen go from picture-perfect family man to living with two girlfriends? How did he go from loving father to manic egotistic? In short, how did he go from the societal ideal man to the untethered male â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;idâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;?

So, in spite of numerous drug tests, the media largely infers that Sheen is still using drugs â&#x20AC;&#x201C; it serves as a narrative explanation of how a male could so reject social norms.

The implication that Sheen is on drugs is used to retroactively justify the subsequent media scrutiny and vilification of the man and the way he lives.

It is Sheenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s second act, with a media searching desperately for the sagaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s potentially tragic conclusion. We, both the media and society, quietly seek an apology for his willingness to embrace the male ego â&#x20AC;&#x201C; but Charlie Sheen, flying against the norm, remains intransigent, and as such, defies explanation.

The great irony is that it is Sheenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rejection of traditional male roles that both vilifies him, and makes him so appealing to an internet counterculture. In a time when new media leaves us closer to stars than ever, and uninterrupted coverage of a mental breakdown has become suddenly possible, the way in which we perceive and even idolise film stars is fundamentally changing.

Charlie Sheen represents a fundamental break with a decades old trend, and not only is he circumventing the traditionally gendered mental breakdown, but he is forcing us to re-establish our perception of societal male norms. Not bad for the star of Two And A Half Men.

&'(')*+*!,

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

!*

!!

!"#$%&'(#")!!

&'()*!+

!"#$%

The funny side of death The latest Sky Atlantic import is a slacker-noir comedy thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a little rough around the edges, writesGeorge Morahan.

E

arly on in Bored to Deathâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pilot episode, Jonathan Ames is asked if he is â&#x20AC;&#x153;another self-hating New York Jewâ&#x20AC;?. Our protagonist answers with a rather dejected â&#x20AC;&#x153;yesâ&#x20AC;?. For Jonathan is a writer, struggling with his second novel and instantly recognisable in that Woody Allen mould â&#x20AC;&#x201C; urbane, painfully self-aware and writhing with neurosis.

After getting dumped by his girlfriend (and armed with a copy of Raymond Chandlerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Farewell, My Lovely), he decides to advertise himself as a private investigator on Craigslist. And therein lies the crux of Bored to Death: effete beta-male subverts hard-boiled detective fiction; surrealism ensues. However, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hit and miss to say the least.

The parts of the show concerned with Jonathanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s detective work are built around that juxtaposition. And although the inherent absurdity of it is good for some laughs, it can become a tiresome conceit. Jason Schwartzmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s performance as Jonathan can be just as exasperating. Whilst his arch onscreen persona works within the framework of Wes Anderson films or Scott Pilgrim vs the World, in a setting that somewhat resembles the real world, he can comes across as annoying and pretentious.

At times, Jonathan can be a dependably funny main character, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only when he mingles with the supporting cast that Bored to Death excels. Zach Galifianakis plays Ray, a comic book artist and Jonathanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best friend, while Ted Danson is the irrepressible George Christopher, a societal narcissist and sometime mentor to Jonathan.

Ray is at odds with most of Galfianakisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; post-Hangover roles and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one that suits him well. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s grounded yet emotionally stunted and the closest Jonathan has to a

Sophie Wears:

Jason Schwartzman (right) is rumoured to have modelled his smug look on Eamon Dunphy voice-of-reason. On the other hand, George is almost fantastical. As the affluent magazine editor hanging onto Jonathan â&#x20AC;&#x201C; thinking the youthful cool that he believes Jonathan possesses will rub off on him â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Danson gets to play excitable and aloof as well as jaded and cool, all with undeniable charisma.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s another welcome step in Dansonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s late-career renaissance. Initially famed for starring in sitcoms such as Cheers and Becker, the past few years have seen him reveal many new comedic and dramatic shades, both here and with his

Boxing Clever â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Wire A

nother cop show. Another shady cityscape.

Another unorthodox detective who doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t play by the rules, but still gets results. Another tough as nails boss whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always on his ass, but grudgingly respects him. Throw in some drug raids, a few chase scenes and, say, the murder of a witness, and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got a mildly entertaining but strictly formulaic Sunday evening cop show. A poor manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s NYPD Blue.

This preconception â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the generic label of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;cop showâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; â&#x20AC;&#x201C; meant that The Wire took a little while to really make itself known as a quality TV drama that could rival the best HBO had to offer. While it was generally well received by the critics when it first aired in June 2002, it took a few years for it to really capture the publicâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s imagination. They needed time to look beyond the donut-eating detectives and see The Wire for what it really is â&#x20AC;&#x201C; one of the greatest portrayals of the world we live in today.

The Wire is not just about the cops and the robbers, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not even just about the dock-workers, politicians, journalists, school children (the list goes on), that make up the rest of this meticulously detailed construction of a city. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s about society. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s about all the institutions, all the hierarchies and the power plays that we, no matter who we are, negotiate every day. Be it a low-level drug dealer or the cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mayor,

Maria wears:

t 1SJOUFE DSPQ TIJSU Ç&#x17D;

t %SPQ 1PDLFU )PU QBOUT Ç&#x17D; .JDIBFM XFBST

t 8IJUF U TIJSU Ç&#x17D;

t 3FE #MBDL 4IJSU Ç&#x17D;

t 5XJTUFE HSFZ KFBOT Ç&#x17D; t #MBDL BOE SFE KFSTFZ

t 8IJUF DBOWBT TIPF Ç&#x17D; All from NewESFTT CZ 5PLJLJ Ç&#x17D; Look "WBJMBCMF JO 0N %JWB

much-lauded turn in Damages.

The show finds an affable rhythm when Jonathan is playing off either one of them, but the three of them combine to hilarious effect. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not a lot in the way of plot, so it is vital for the continued growth of the series that the core trio is together as much as possible. For now, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an enjoyable diversion. As George says about himself and Jonathan, â&#x20AC;&#x153;we enthral and then we disappointâ&#x20AC;?. With a little more time, Bored to Death could do the very opposite.

Bored to Death is on Sky Atlantic, Mondays at 10:20pm.

The Wire has grown on Diarmuid Carter, and now it will grow on you

everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s got somebody to answer to. It is an examination of the defining structures that go to the very root of society, and it is â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;societyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; that is The Wireâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s main concern.

Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not to say that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s short on characters. One of its greatest achievements is to create a huge range of individual players, crossing all sectors of society, with none of them appearing thin or one-dimensional.

The most likeable characters â&#x20AC;&#x201C; such as Omar, a shotguntoting gay anti-gangster Antagonistic and perpetually drunk, Jimmy McNulty is one of the who robs drug-dealers â&#x20AC;&#x201C; showâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most popular characters are generally the outsiders, fighting outside institutional boundaries. These characters, none the less, are breakthroughs or The Sopranos. A weekly column in intrinsically linked to the society in which they exist â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Guardian analyses each episode and Harvard uses however hard you fight, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re still stuck in the maze. it for curriculum material on their urban inequality The Wire offers no easy answers. course, but apart from all that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also really, really While it may have taken a while, The Wire now enjoyable to watch. I defy you to watch an episode and gets the kind of praise usually reserved for medical not want to watch another.

Sophie Wears:

t 8IJUF ESFTT CZ $IVQJ Ç&#x17D; t 4JMWFS OFDLMBDF CZ $PVSUOFZ Ç&#x17D; "WBJMBCMF JO -VDZ T -PVOHF

MJOFT BMTP BOE JODMVEFT TUSJLJOH QSJOUT JO WJCSBOU HSFFOT BOE PSBOHF ɨF NBYJ DPOUJOVFT UP GFBUVSF JO BO BSSBZ PG QBUUFSOT CVU UIJT TFBTPO PQU GPS B TIFFS WFSTJPO PG UIF ESFTT ɨF QSPWPDBUJWF DIPJDF OPU POMZ FNBOBUFT DVSSFOU T HMBNPVS CVU BMTP TFSWFT BT B NPSF BQQSPQSJBUF PQUJPO GPS OJHIUXFBS UIBO MBTU TFBTPO T NBYJ 8FEHFT BOE B DPOUFNQPSBSZ UXJTU PO DMPHT DPN QSJTF UIF NPTU QPQVMBS MBEJFT GPPUXFBS GPS UIF DPNJOH NPOUIT /PU POMZ EP UIFZ MPPL HSFBU CVU BMTP UIFZ BSF Sophie wears Acevedo: GBS GSJFOEMJFS UP ZPVS GFFU UIBO BOZ DSJQQMJOH TUJMFUUPT t 3FE DPBU XJUI UBJMT 0N %JWB Ç&#x17D; 1FOOFZ T "]8FBS 5PQTIPQ BOE 3JWFS *TMBOE CPBTU B t ,IBLJ QBOUT -VDZ T -PVOHF Ç&#x17D; Ç&#x17D; XJEF TFMFDUJPO PG UIFTF TIPFT SBOHJOH JO QSJDF GSPN Ç&#x17D; "MM GSPN 3JWFS *TMBOE

UP Ç&#x17D; t 1FUSPM CMVF DBSEJHBO Ç&#x17D; o /FX -PPL %FOJN JT B TFBTPO GBWPVSJUF GPS NFO BOE XPNFO DIJFnZ JO UIF GPSN PG TIJSUT BOE TIPSUT " QBJS PG EFOJN TIPSUT XJMM CF BO BTTFU GPS TQSJOH BOE TVNNFS BT UIFZ BSF WFSTBUJMF 'PS HVZT UIFZ DBO CF QBJSFE VQ XJUI B TJNQMF 5 TIJSU BOE PQFO TIJSU PS JOnVFODFE CZ UIJT TFB TPO T QPQVMBS QSFQQZ TUZMF XJUI B mUUFE DIFDL TIJSU BOE DBSEJHBO " QBJS PG EFDL TIPFT PS DBOWBT SVOOFST XJMM DPNQMFUF UIJT DMFBO DVU EBZUJNF MPPL %SFTTJOH XFMM EPFTO U IBWF UP CF EJÄ&#x2039;DVMU 'PS UIF NB KPSJUZ TIPQQJOH PO UIF IJHI TUSFFU LFFQT VT TQPPO GFE PO XIBU T IPU BOE XIBU T OPU 8JUI BMNPTU [FSP TLJMM BOE FÄ&#x160;PSU ZPV DBO ESFTT BQQSPQSJBUF USFOEZ BOE GSVHBMMZ UIJT TFBTPO "ENJUUFEMZ EPJOH TP NBZ TBDSJmDF TPNF JOEJ WJEVBMJUZ CVU %VCMJO JT KVTU OPU SFBEZ GPS UIF NPOPLJOJ 4P VOUJM UIFO * TIBMM TFF ZPV JO %VOOFT 4UPSFT

Sophie Wears:

Aileen Wears:

t 1FBDI MBDF EFUBJM ESFTT CZ 5PLJLJ Ç&#x17D; t 8PPEFO QJO VQ CBEHF CZ "SUZ4NBSUZ -VDZ T -PVOHF Ç&#x17D;

Aileen Wears:

t #MVF ESFTT CZ $IVQJ Ç&#x17D;

Aileen Wears:

ÂŤJOF ,JMCSJEF t 8IJUF 5 TIJSU XJUI SVÄ&#x152;F EFUBJM Ç&#x17D; t -PWF IFBSU TLJSU Ç&#x17D; "WBJMBCMF JO 0N %JWB

Maria wears:

t 4IFFS QSJOUFE NBYJ Ç&#x17D;

t 4USBX IBU Ç&#x17D;

t #SPXO IBOECBH Ç&#x17D;

t 1FBSM CSBDFMFU Ç&#x17D;

t (PME CPX OFDLMBDF Ç&#x17D; All from A|Wear

&'()*!+

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

!"

!*

!"#$%&'(#")!!

&'()

!"#$%

Packing a punch

The queen of beauty O

She sported tight-waisted dresses that accentuated her curves – a contemporary cut for formal wear still today, and was never shy to experiment. Whether it was boasting ostentatious head pieces, sporting a turban, or the bold use of brightly coloured makeup, Taylor was on the cusp of a fastevolving world of fashion.

The actress’ glamorous lifestyle and taste was exemplified by her lavish jewellery collection. She was immensely passionate about it, going as far as to write a book entitled My Love Affair with Jewellery.

Taylor was rarely seen without a grandiose display of diamonds adorning her thin frame, which were regularly showcased just above a plunging neckline. Her affinity for large, loose curls hardly ever wavered and has inspired modern style icons such as Katy Perry and Dita Von Tesse.

Taylor’s diamonds, dresses and perfectly applied makeup seemed almost as much as part of her as her violet eyes, porcelain complexion and jet black hair. She never appeared looking less than perfect, favouring luxurious gowns and gems over casual attire. Her natural elegance and poise accentuated her style and ensured that the star would be forever remembered as the epitome of Hollywood glamour and refinement.

Faith in fashion F

The hijab is about “self-expression”

Elizabeth Taylor wore over 65 costumes for Cleopatra including a dress made from 24-carat gold cloth

Fashion Editor Donna Doyle speaks to Nur Zahidah Azhar Shapawi and Sarina Kajani about Islamic fashion

ashion is a form of self-expression. How we dress is a statement of our identity and the self-image we wish to project to the world. For many Islamic women, the approach to fashion is a different experience than one in the Western world – one that is often misunderstood and a subject of much controversy.

In order to preserve their modesty, Allah states in the Quran that women must “reduce [some] of their vision and… not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears”. Influenced by this, clothing must cover the entire body and only the hands and face may remain visible.

Other guidelines determine dress, including the material chosen and the loose-fit necessary. Clothing should not be worn for the sole purpose of gaining reputation or attracting attention. It is this statement that conflicts with my personal opinion of what fashion is, and strives to be.

Speaking to Nur Zahidah Azhar Shapawi, General Secretary of UCD’s Islamic Society, and Sarina Kajani, a key player within the UCD Fashion and Design Society, I aimed to learn more of what the hijab (dress code) means to an Islamic woman in a Western world, and whether it is possible for them to achieve individuality.

Abiding strictly by the Islamic dress code, Malaysian-born Zahidah trusts that the “hijab means modesty and identity” and importantly, protects women from exploitation. Despite this, Zahidah believes that Muslim women “portray modesty, yet are fashionable. The Muslim woman dresses appropriately and not extrovertly”. She does not feel she has to expose herself in order to receive attention or gain recogni-

Nerd Movies

Do you get excited when you hear talk of lightspeed or see comic book references?

Well let Emer Sugrue educate you in the way of the nerd

With the passing of Elizabeth Taylor, Lorraine Haigney looks at a long career that changed fashion as we know it n March 24th, reports that Dame Elizabeth Taylor had passed away were met with a sense of disbelief. The reaction is understandable; Taylor, after a 65-year career, seemed to have become a permanent fixture in Hollywood.

Trying to comprehend her passing is comparable to the disassembly of the Hollywood sign or having the walk of fame cemented over. The loss of the violet-eyed beauty is tragic, but her legacy, both as an Academy Award-winning actress and fashion icon, is something to be celebrated.

Taylor was only 19 when she starred in A Place in the Sun (1951), in which she played the role of the seductive other woman. She soon garnered attention and recognition from the public as both a talented actress and a silver screen beauty.

In the leading role as Cleopatra, in the movie of the same name, Taylor sported over 65 costumes, a record at that time, including a dress made from 24-carat gold cloth. Her blunt hairdo, short fringe and eccentric eye make-up is an iconic Hollywood image.

Taylor became the pin-up girl of Hollywood. She was refined and stunning in her dress as well as being seductive and provocative and her style, like her personality, was big, bold and brazen.

Top Ten:

tion, and because of this, she achieves more and “is the most fashionable”.

Irish-born Sarina Kajani is a Sh’ia Ismaili Muslim – a modernised denomination of Islam, particularly in Western cultures. Kajani explains: “The world is ever changing and [although] the ideas and values from a mainly Eastern culture are upheld, there are some things that need to adjust to modern-day life.

“Personally, I don’t wear the [hijab]. I don’t need to. I think it’s a beautiful piece of clothing and can come in amazing designs with intricate details,” she says. “There are different styles, designs [and] materials, black hijabs with pretty sequined designs [and other] ones with floral and printed patterns.”

An avid fashionista, Kajani plans to open a retail unit over the summer, following both her parents into the fashion industry. Her business venture will be influenced less by her Islamic background, and more by the demands of the modern industry, but she notes: “Aspects of Islamic culture are integrated into the modern fashion world. Harem pants, long wavy skirts and even headscarves [are] all Islamicinspired.

The West inherently misunderstands fashion in the Muslim world. Far from representing oppression within the context of male-dominated society, the hijab is seen by the women who wear it as more than just an expression of their identity, but an expression of intensely personal values.

Kajani sums it up in a way that seems paradoxical to the contemporary Western assumption: “It is self-expression.”

Sucker Punch represents a shift in Zack Snyder’s previous work, owing largely to the film’s feminist undertones Title: Sucker Punch Director: Zack Snyder Starring: Emily Browning, Vanessa Hudgens, Abbie Cornish Release Date: Out Now

I

wonder what Zack Snyder is like in person, but I can’t help but imagine he has a Steve Holt-like tendency to shout his own name at passers-by.

Snyder is one of the rare modern filmmakers who really put a unique directorial stamp on everything he touches. 300, despite it’s pomposity, was very enjoyable, and Snyder also probably did the best job one could possibly do adapting Watchmen into a movie. Maybe, beneath his bravado, lies a good filmmaker who can accomplish things beyond the visually arresting. Or maybe not.

Right from the overblown opening, we meet Babydoll (Emily Browning, A Series of Unfortunate Events), a 20-year-old girl committed to an insane asylum by her abusive stepfather. In order to escape the horrors of her situation, she re-imagines the asylum as a burlesque brothel featuring an over-abundance of cleavage and unfathomably fetishised fashions.

The provocative, even exploitative aesthetic belies the fact the film is set in the 1950s, and the sexual issues raised by the film are further complicated given how Browning is made to look many years younger than she actually is. She, sisters Rocket (Jena Malone, Donnie Darko) and Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish, Limitless), along with Amber (Jamie Chung, Sorority Row) and Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens, High School Musical) hatch a plan to escape the asylum, but while doing so they must procure five magical MacGuffins.

Each object must be obtained through various

trials and chicanery, most notably a scene in which Babydoll entices an antagonist with a provocative lap dance. Within this lap dance, Babydoll transcends her faux-reality into a further dream state, imagining their quest as a WWII battle or mythical-beast slaying adventure. Quickly, the film becomes Inception with corsets.

In attempting to make the ultimate fan boy film, Snyder throws coherence out the window in favour of, let’s be honest, fetishisms. It’s an action movie that imagines itself as a tale of female empowerment; the rarely seen female protagonists rising up against male oppression through the powers they hold through self-objectification as sexual objects.

In execution, however, their struggle acts as a pointless backdrop for their skimpy hypersexual outfits. Hang on, isn’t this movie rated 12A? Now, I don’t purport to know very much about neo-feminist theory, and no doubt the interwebs will be shortly full of such commentaries on this film, but a troglodyte like myself can see that Synder’s attempts to transition from the hyper-masculinity of 300 to this alleged hyper-femininity is more than a little misguided. It could even be argued that Snyder is a terrible, exploitative storyteller, however, in spite of everything, I really enjoyed this film.

It is, like Snyder’s previous efforts, visually spectacular, and sexual politics aside, not exactly tough on the corneas. If you can detach critical thought from the experience, it’s great fun. But if you attempt to instil logic, sexual commentary or, indeed, coherency into the experience, all is lost.

In a Nutshell: Raucous, ludicrous, crass, offensive and pointless. Good fun, so.

- Breffni O’Sullivan

10. Back to the Future The series is singlehandedly responsible for my obsession interest in time travel and my childhood introduction to the world of nerd. Who doesn’t get a pang of hope every time the speedometer edges towards 88mph?

9. Ghostbusters Dan Akroyd gets a blowjob from a ghost, need I say more?

When even the dead are queuing up for a taste of nerd, you know the geek has inherited the earth.

8. Kick-Ass All superhero movies are nerdy to an extent, but none so much as kick ass. He has no actual superpowers, no money and no fighting skills, yet he not only defeats the bad guy (admittedly with the help of a foul-mouthed child and a fuckton of weaponry) but despite a complete lack of social skills to the point of pretending he is gay to impress a girl, he actually gets her! Total nerd fantasy, totally kick ass.

7. Primer Made for just €7,000 by an engineer and mathematician, you’ll need a PhD in physics just to realise how little you understand this time travel film. It’s practically Joycean in its incomprehensibility; there aren’t so much time lines as time vomit.

6. The Social Network Aspirational nerdery at its finest. An average nerd becomes a bajillionaire by the age of 25, through nothing but brain power and an insatiable thirst for your personal information.

5. Star Trek (2009) The release of this Star Trek reboot prompted the globe’s first simultaneous nerdgasm – it has Spock, time travel, alternate continuity, Spock, space ships, laser fights, Simon Pegg and Spock. You won’t be able to breath from the sheer geekery radiating from the screen.

4. Star Wars In many ways, this was the birth of geekitude. Sure, Star Trek came out years before, but this is when it really hit the mainstream. No longer did alien planets consist of an oval of quarry but whole planets of quarry. The only thing lacking in nerd fantasy was the chicks: Captain Kirk got a green-skinned alien babe, Luke got his own sister.

3. The Net From the high-tech world of 1995, Sandra Bullock has all her information stolen. But instead of losing some money and spending the film arguing with the bank, they stole her LIFE. All of it. And Facebook wasn’t even invented yet. But don’t worry – Sandra has a floppy disk with the internet on it, so it’s cool.

2. Die Hard 4.0 In between all the explosions, ass kicking and dirty vests, is the hacking. So much hacking. Traffic lights gone red?

Hack them. People breaking into your building? Hack the gas pipe. There’s a deleted scene in which Bruce Willis hacks his fridge to store more milk.

1. Scott Pilgrim This film has more video game references than dialogue.

Every movement has a nod to some sort of geek pop culture. Despite becoming an instant cult hit amongst the indoorsy amongst us, it turns out that the people who have money and the people who go on the internet aren’t in the same Venn diagram. Oh well.

!*

&'()

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

Close encounters of the semi-sexual kind

April 12th Adele – The Olympia – €36.70 Oneohtrix – The Button Factory – €18 April 13th The View – The Academy – €25.90 J Mascis (solo) of Dinosaur Jr – Whelan’s – €23 April 14th Beady Eye – The Olympia – €41.20 Buck 65 – The Academy 2 – €16.50 April 15th O Emperor – The Academy – €18.50 Miracle Bell and The Cape – Crawdaddy – €N/A April 16th Lykke Li – Tripod – €27.55 Jody has a hit list – The Academy – €15 April 17th N-Dubz – The Olympia – €34.90

Your Highness is hardly the most prestigious film Natalie Portman has ever appeared in

High and low Title: Your Highness Director David Gordon Green Starring: Danny McBride, Natalie Portman, James Franco, Zooey Deschanel Release Date: April 13th

Conor Barry is one of several mavericks behind this extraordinary project Title: Cop To The Future and Back - Part II; Electric Bungalow Director: David Reilly Starring:Conor ‘Luke’ Barry, Heber Hanly, Conor O’Toole, and that Mike out of ‘Friends’ Release Date: Out Now!

A

fter last year’s surprise time-travelling crime-thriller-rom-com smash hit, Detective Harvey Price is back in action, and this time, it’s for the second time.

Yes, everyone’s favourite Jewish Orthodox bad cop is back, and he’s badder and more orthodox than ever. Cop To The Future and Back – Part II; Electric Bungalow starts up exactly where the first film left off. Harvey Price, moments after punching Winston Churchill in the face and declaring Home Rule, leaps onto the back of Veloci-Rapper (his urban dinosaur companion), and jumps back into the ‘Time Puddle’, setting off for more pseudo-racist adventures. And what adventures they are.

Nothing can prepare you for the onslaught of hardcore action, dramatic chase scenes and numerous tap-dance numbers. The frenetic action simply does not let up with a flurry of graphic violence and massive amounts of nudity to feast your eyes on. The entire second act is nothing but clicking heels and sexy bitches, with director David Reilly breaking new ground with his inventive use of the two-hour montage.

The film doesn’t really gather pace until Price learns the ability to freeze time, which is mostly used for

some of the many, many gunfights, or getting a sly look down girls’ tops. From then on out, it’s all stealing Ghandi’s glasses, challenging Julius Caesar to a game of Twister, and having awkward semi-sexual encounters with his own mom in the 50s.

Heber Hanly gives a spirited performance as Price’s wizard-baby Jorge, and Conor O’Toole brings a street-wise flava to the voice of Veloci-Rapper. Conor ‘Luke’ Barry, however, steals the show as the grizzled chipper-turned-time travelling detective. Make sure to stick around for the outtakes over the end credits, as there is one particularly hilarious moment where Barry, still in character, punches a make-up lady for accidentally touching him.

The film isn’t perfect, and even if the fourth hot-air balloon race drags on a touch too long, or if Harvey stumbling upon a lesbian-make-out festival seems a bit contrived, these minor imperfections are easily overlooked. Brilliant set pieces like the base-jumping sex-scene, or when Harvey watches the entire first season of Come Dine With Me, make up for any small complaints you might have, and then some.

It’s hot, sexy and so full of action that you forget the lead actor’s recent tabloid scandals. Imagine if Crank 2 and Sunset Boulevard had a baby; that baby would be really weird, and probably have complicated medical problems. But remember, if you see only one film this year, you’re obviously very busy.

In A Nutshell: Believe the hype – it’s the best Jewish crime/detective thriller since Molotov Mazel-Tov. - Jon Hozier-Byrne

&'()'*+(

!"#$%

Show Patrol

!*

We like to think of ourselves as a mature bunch here at o-two. We drink coffee and talk about grown-up things like politics, the economy, and which SU officer would win in a fight. But sometimes, just sometimes, a film will slip past our sensible, grown-up radar and tickle our adolescent funny bone. As much as we love our David Lynch and Vincent Gallo, there’s nothing quite like sitting down with a vast bucket of popcorn and something as stupid as it is hilarious.

Much in the vain of Airplane!, Robin Hood; Men In Tights or even Borat, Your Highness takes spoof comedy and melds it perfectly with immature, stoner humour. Director David Gordon Green (whose previous filmography tellingly includes Pineapple Express) has crafted what can only be described as a masterpiece of immature, laddish comedy.

The heroic Prince Fabious (James Franco), fresh from yet another glorious quest, must once again set off to save his beautiful bride-to-be Belladonna (Zooey Deschanel) from the clutches of the evil, sexually-repressed wizard Leezar (Justin Theroux). But this time, the heir apparent will be accompanied by his slacker younger brother, the pot-smoking Prince Thadeous (Danny McBride). Can Fabious save his Princess before the grotesque warlock violates her? Will Thadeous prove he too can be a heroic prince? Will Natalie Portman live to regret being in this movie?

The presence of both Oscar host James Franco and Best Actress winner Natalie Portman is easily one of the film’s biggest selling points, and part of you is left wondering exactly what Portman was thinking signing up to Your Highness after the remarkable acclaim Black Swan provided her. That said, the actress’ “serious” persona only stands to make the hyperbolic silliness directed at her all the more hilarious.

By no stretch of the imagination is this film for everyone, and to be completely frank, it’s a film the men in the audience are simply more likely to enjoy. With that said, it is riddled with laugh-out-loud moments, wellexecuted action and clever physical comedy. Sure, there might be a slight over-reliance on the ‘swear-words-ina-medieval-setting’ gag, but Your Highness easily makes for one of the most stupidly entertaining evenings out you’ll have all year.

In A Nutshell: If you felt The Lord of The Rings needed more scantily clad women, pot-smoking princes and lots, lots more dick jokes, do not miss this film.

- Jon Hozier-Byrne

!"#$%&'(#")!!

Sage Francis – Whelan’s – €20 April 18th D’Unbelievables – Vicar Street – €36.55 Gig for Gary – Whelan’s – €10 April 19th Big Country – The Academy – €26.50 Brother – Academy 2 – €13.50 April 20th Maeve Higgins – Whelan’s – €15 April 21st Dinosaur Pile Up – Academy 2 – €15 April 22nd Dublin Gospel Choir – The Olympia – €33.75 April 23rd The Harlem Globe Trotters – Nation Basketball Arena – €44.10 Seanie Vaughan – Whelan’s – €8 April 24th Good Morning Mrs Brown – Olympia – €30 Pete Courtney – Whelan’s – €10

Gig of the Fortnight: Lykke Li April 16th – Tripod – €27.55 Following the success of her second album, Wounded Rhymes, NME darling Lykke Li is bringing her soft and charismatic vocals to Dublin as part of her European tour. The songstress is sure to give Irish fans an eclectic set, combining sweet and simple love songs with fast-paced rhythmically charge tunes draped with attitude.

Her plethora of catchy tracks such as ‘Dance, Dance, Dance’, ‘I’m Good, I’m Gone’ and ‘Get Some’ will undoubtedly feature, rendering it akin to heaven for anyone with a penchant for skewered pop.

Hopefully you’ll be lucky enough to catch Lykke Li in the comfortable surroundings of Tripod, but if not, she’ll also be returning to Irish shores for arguably the musical event of the summer – Electric Picnic.

- Imelda Hehir

MCD PRESENTS

dgc poster 40x30.pdf 11/03/2011 15:33:04

C

M

Y

CM

MY

CY

CMY

22ND APRIL 2011

K

Featuring very special performances by

(GOOD FRIDAY) !"#$%&'()*+$!"#+!,# OLYMPIA THEATRE +),*&$--./$-011 Doors: 7.15pm. Show starts 8pm 23%%4$5,*4+'6 CATHY DAVEY, NEIL HANNON AND PADDY CASEY !*78#!9$¤:0$

TICKETS €30 (INCL. BKG. FEE) FROM TICKETMASTER: TEL: 0818 719 300. IN PERSON FROM USUAL TICKETMASTER OUTLETS very special performances

by BOOKINGS SUBJECT TO 12.5% SERVICE BUY ONLINEFeaturing 24HRS: WWW.TICKETMASTER.IE *(PHONE & INTERNET CHARGE PER TICKET (MAX €6.35) / AGENTS €2.25) *;7$<%%8*;3$5##

+=+*&+<&#$5,%($!*78#!(+9!#, FIND US ON FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/mcd.productions

7+!"'$4+=#'>$;#*&$"+;;%; +;4$)+44'$7+9#'

*TICKETS from Ticketmaster outlets nationwide. 24 Hrs: 0818 719 300. Buy On Line; www.ticketmaster.ie. (Telephone & Internet bookings subject to €3.35 s/c per ticket up to €28.50; 12.5% over €28.50 (max €6.35) / Agents €2.25) Subscribe now to mcd.ie for the latest live entertainment, news and tickets.

Doors 7.15pm, Show starts 8pm

&'()*+'

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

!*

!*

!"#$%&'(#")!!

A

!"#$%&'!$ !"#$%&'!$ (&)*$'!&)*+), (&)*$'!&)*+), Elbow guitarist Mark Potter talks to Cormac Duffy about life on the road, growing up and making your band a democracy

!"#$%

side from their music, Elbow take pride in one thing; their long history together and the unity it grants them. Check the tag line they use on their website: ‘The longest surviving uncorrupt democracy in history.’ As guitarist Mark Potter says: “There’s nothing overnight about what we do.” That’s one way of understating it.

The full tale starts in Manchester in the early 90s when the band began playing together in their teens.

Settling on the name Elbow some years later, they released several EPs late in the decade, but struggled to find a label to release a full-length album. When their debut album Asleep in the Back finally crawled into the public eye in 2001, it was met with rapturous critical acclaim proclaiming the band as saviours of British rock.

But for years, there was little progress. No magnum opus to cement their legacy, no big break into the mainstream. The band seemed to be stuck on a plateau.

Then The Seldom Seen Kid came along, and with the help of its lead single, the gargantuan bruiser ‘Grounds for Divorce’, the floodgates didn’t so much open as were blown apart. Since then there have been platinum records, stadium tours and a Mercury Prize win. Still, to paraphrase Bill Bailey, if their rise to fame was meteoric, it was a meteor dragged by an arthritic donkey.

When O-two catches up with Potter on the eve of the tour-ending show at The O2, Dublin, we find a man in his element in more ways than one. Not only is his dressing room decked out with enough amplifiers, guitars and effects pedals to stock Walton’s for a month, but he is also experiencing the joys of an arena tour.

“I’m having the tour of my life if I’m honest with you. It’s been amazing.” To him, it’s the culmination of a dream. “I remember, the night before our first gig, me and Guy [Garvey] watched Queen live at Wembley and said: ‘That’ll be us in a year’. 20 years later, here we are, we’re finally doing it,” he laughs.

Has the jump from the smaller venues to the stadiums been jarring? “It’s obviously stepped up because we’re doing arenas now and the challenge was to put on an intimate show to 10,000 people,” he says. “From the feedback from friends, press and reviews, it’s absolutely what we’ve done. People have said they’ve felt like they were at a 1,000 capacity show.”

The response of the fans has left an indelible mark on Potter. He explains: “I’ve never heard that many people in a room so silent listening to some of the songs. I’m a bit blown away by it really.”

It’s not just a big night for Elbow but also for their support act Villagers, who are playing a homecoming gig, and one of their biggest ever shows. “They’re wonderful lads. [They] like a drink – our kind of guys.

We’ve not had a proper full drinking session with them, so we plan on getting very drunk with those boys this evening.” Let’s hope poor Conor O’Brien can keep up.

Potter also tells us about his last experience in Dublin. “Last time we were here was doing The Late Late Show. The Commitments were on it. We got to know a few of them. Bronagh Gallagher is a good friend of ours now.” Did he encounter Oscar winner and Irish indie legend Glenn Hansard? “Is he the ginger haired one? He was there, we met him briefly, but he ended up going off somewhere else.” Seems Hansard has failed us as cultural ambassador. O-two is not impressed.

The tour is, of course, about more than living out dreams and drinking. Promoting the new album Build a Rocket Boys! (BRB!) is the main item on the agenda.

O-two wonders if having to match the success of Seldom Seen Kid surely left them with difficult follow-up syndrome. “It doesn’t really work like that for us, because we never stop writing music.”

&'()*+' He points out that writing on tour gives the band a sense of continuity from album to album. “When we come into a new record we never start from scratch, we’ve already got a bunch of new songs there. So in a way our albums are just chapters of where we’re at in the songwriting at that time.”

The old ideal of an album as more than just a group of songs matters to Elbow. “Our albums are designed to be listened to as we put them together.” Clearly, the band want each record to be an experience. “Our records, we feel, are really taking the listener somewhere. When they finish listening to it, hopefully they feel someway different emotionally. We don’t know

Elbow’s democratic foundation is strong at every level, particularly in their lyrics. “It’s great because what Guy’s writing about, we were there. They’re not just his memories; we were a part of it too. That’s why it worked so well.” He invited the band to pass judgement on the lyrics and assist in the writing process.

At one point, he went as far as covering their studio’s wall with drafts of his lyrics and having them circle what they liked. “I don’t think a lot of lyricist frontmen would do that with their band. They’re often like: ‘These are my poems; these are my words, live with it’. I think it’s very good of Guy that he invites our constructive criticism in the way that he writes.”

O-two asks what it’s like working with a band you’ve spent such a large part of your life with. “We worked out the other day that we’ve been in this band longer than we’ve not been in this band now, which is quite a strange feeling.”

One would expect that inter-band relations might be strained by now.

Will there ever be multiple tour buses to keep them separated? “There never will be. I don’t understand that. We’ve opened up for big bands and they just go off in different directions and don’t see each other until the next gig. I can’t imagine doing a show and not having a chat about it with your mates afterwards.”

The band seems to still have love being on the road, despite their age and newfound parental responsibilities. “The fun of touring is still there. The dads are the first on the tour bus with the bottle of wine in their hand.”

Potter compares touring to living a double life.

“When you’re home you’re a father and a family man and so valuable and important.” The other life of touring serves as a way to get back to the lost youth they celebrate on BRB! “When you’re on the road you pretend to be 18 again, even if you’re not.

And even if the hangovers last two or three days longer.”

Curiously, hangovers appear to constitute the secret ingredient of the band members’ shared endurance and their friendships. “We find each other very funny on not very much sleep with massive hangovers. I think if we didn’t it would have fallen apart a long time ago.”

It may a somewhat obvious inquiry, yet O-two can’t help but wonder where next for the band.

“We’re still slowing building. We still want it bigger and better. As big as we are in the UK and Ireland in the rest of the world.”

It’s refreshing to know their ambition isn’t confined to the studio. “We’ve always said that if people heard our music, we’re sure they’d like it.” With the news that they are to support rock giants Kings of Leon at Slane all we can say about this simple hope is so far, so good.

Elbow will play at Slane on May 28th and their album, Build a Rocket Boys!, is out now.

,-./0123/.456/%#6.7/ 8.79/0:229/%2/2%#/8.79/ ;:56/<=..>/$1#6/;4<<18./ 642?%8.7<@/A/#612B/10/$./ 3132C#/1#/$%:=3/648./04==.2/ 4>47#/4/=%2?/#1;./4?%D how different they will feel but we want to take them on a journey really.”

In a just world, BRB! would be the album to immortalise Elbow. All the band’s trademark touches are still there, amongst them the ambitious scale of songs like ‘The Birds’ and the polished professionalism of their production. But the changes in the band members’ lives have given them new stories to tell.

“We’re all getting older,” Potter says matter-of-factly.

“We’ve all got families. Guy has moved back to where he grew up, where we all grew up.” Potter’s language says a lot. The band is a ‘we’, a united front, a team.

Having shared a childhood, the album is like a scrapbook of their collective memories.

“A lot of the lyrical themes are about growing up, your early teens really, being a bit of a spare part. Too old for youth clubs, too young to go to the pub, so you’re just stuck on the street really, and we’ve all been there. So I suppose it’s looking back to that age, and being proud of it. And encouraging young people, especially on the song ‘Lippy Kids’, to ‘Go build a rocket boys!’ To do something great while you’ve got the world at your feet.”

Inspiration is definitely part of the album, but only as much as introspection. ‘Jesus is A Rochdale Girl’, the spiritual centrepiece of the album is a plaintive acoustic tribute to Guy Garvey’s first house and the memories it holds. “That was the first song to be finished on the writing and recording of this record. And it almost became the blueprint for it really.”

The lyrics are cryptic. Who is the Rochdale girl? Who is Garvey’s ‘Single heartache’? The only lyric Potter will explain is ‘Got a house that you can smoke in, so all my friends found me’. “He had the house we all went around to and got stoned in!” he admits, chuckling to himself. “We’re proud of that song, because we were there with him. So those lyrics are about what we were all doing really.”

&'()*+'

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

!*

!*

!"#$%&'(#")!!

A

!"#$%&'!$ !"#$%&'!$ (&)*$'!&)*+), (&)*$'!&)*+), Elbow guitarist Mark Potter talks to Cormac Duffy about life on the road, growing up and making your band a democracy

!"#$%

side from their music, Elbow take pride in one thing; their long history together and the unity it grants them. Check the tag line they use on their website: ‘The longest surviving uncorrupt democracy in history.’ As guitarist Mark Potter says: “There’s nothing overnight about what we do.” That’s one way of understating it.

The full tale starts in Manchester in the early 90s when the band began playing together in their teens.

Settling on the name Elbow some years later, they released several EPs late in the decade, but struggled to find a label to release a full-length album. When their debut album Asleep in the Back finally crawled into the public eye in 2001, it was met with rapturous critical acclaim proclaiming the band as saviours of British rock.

But for years, there was little progress. No magnum opus to cement their legacy, no big break into the mainstream. The band seemed to be stuck on a plateau.

Then The Seldom Seen Kid came along, and with the help of its lead single, the gargantuan bruiser ‘Grounds for Divorce’, the floodgates didn’t so much open as were blown apart. Since then there have been platinum records, stadium tours and a Mercury Prize win. Still, to paraphrase Bill Bailey, if their rise to fame was meteoric, it was a meteor dragged by an arthritic donkey.

When O-two catches up with Potter on the eve of the tour-ending show at The O2, Dublin, we find a man in his element in more ways than one. Not only is his dressing room decked out with enough amplifiers, guitars and effects pedals to stock Walton’s for a month, but he is also experiencing the joys of an arena tour.

“I’m having the tour of my life if I’m honest with you. It’s been amazing.” To him, it’s the culmination of a dream. “I remember, the night before our first gig, me and Guy [Garvey] watched Queen live at Wembley and said: ‘That’ll be us in a year’. 20 years later, here we are, we’re finally doing it,” he laughs.

Has the jump from the smaller venues to the stadiums been jarring? “It’s obviously stepped up because we’re doing arenas now and the challenge was to put on an intimate show to 10,000 people,” he says. “From the feedback from friends, press and reviews, it’s absolutely what we’ve done. People have said they’ve felt like they were at a 1,000 capacity show.”

The response of the fans has left an indelible mark on Potter. He explains: “I’ve never heard that many people in a room so silent listening to some of the songs. I’m a bit blown away by it really.”

It’s not just a big night for Elbow but also for their support act Villagers, who are playing a homecoming gig, and one of their biggest ever shows. “They’re wonderful lads. [They] like a drink – our kind of guys.

We’ve not had a proper full drinking session with them, so we plan on getting very drunk with those boys this evening.” Let’s hope poor Conor O’Brien can keep up.

Potter also tells us about his last experience in Dublin. “Last time we were here was doing The Late Late Show. The Commitments were on it. We got to know a few of them. Bronagh Gallagher is a good friend of ours now.” Did he encounter Oscar winner and Irish indie legend Glenn Hansard? “Is he the ginger haired one? He was there, we met him briefly, but he ended up going off somewhere else.” Seems Hansard has failed us as cultural ambassador. O-two is not impressed.

The tour is, of course, about more than living out dreams and drinking. Promoting the new album Build a Rocket Boys! (BRB!) is the main item on the agenda.

O-two wonders if having to match the success of Seldom Seen Kid surely left them with difficult follow-up syndrome. “It doesn’t really work like that for us, because we never stop writing music.”

&'()*+' He points out that writing on tour gives the band a sense of continuity from album to album. “When we come into a new record we never start from scratch, we’ve already got a bunch of new songs there. So in a way our albums are just chapters of where we’re at in the songwriting at that time.”

The old ideal of an album as more than just a group of songs matters to Elbow. “Our albums are designed to be listened to as we put them together.” Clearly, the band want each record to be an experience. “Our records, we feel, are really taking the listener somewhere. When they finish listening to it, hopefully they feel someway different emotionally. We don’t know

Elbow’s democratic foundation is strong at every level, particularly in their lyrics. “It’s great because what Guy’s writing about, we were there. They’re not just his memories; we were a part of it too. That’s why it worked so well.” He invited the band to pass judgement on the lyrics and assist in the writing process.

At one point, he went as far as covering their studio’s wall with drafts of his lyrics and having them circle what they liked. “I don’t think a lot of lyricist frontmen would do that with their band. They’re often like: ‘These are my poems; these are my words, live with it’. I think it’s very good of Guy that he invites our constructive criticism in the way that he writes.”

O-two asks what it’s like working with a band you’ve spent such a large part of your life with. “We worked out the other day that we’ve been in this band longer than we’ve not been in this band now, which is quite a strange feeling.”

One would expect that inter-band relations might be strained by now.

Will there ever be multiple tour buses to keep them separated? “There never will be. I don’t understand that. We’ve opened up for big bands and they just go off in different directions and don’t see each other until the next gig. I can’t imagine doing a show and not having a chat about it with your mates afterwards.”

The band seems to still have love being on the road, despite their age and newfound parental responsibilities. “The fun of touring is still there. The dads are the first on the tour bus with the bottle of wine in their hand.”

Potter compares touring to living a double life.

“When you’re home you’re a father and a family man and so valuable and important.” The other life of touring serves as a way to get back to the lost youth they celebrate on BRB! “When you’re on the road you pretend to be 18 again, even if you’re not.

And even if the hangovers last two or three days longer.”

Curiously, hangovers appear to constitute the secret ingredient of the band members’ shared endurance and their friendships. “We find each other very funny on not very much sleep with massive hangovers. I think if we didn’t it would have fallen apart a long time ago.”

It may a somewhat obvious inquiry, yet O-two can’t help but wonder where next for the band.

“We’re still slowing building. We still want it bigger and better. As big as we are in the UK and Ireland in the rest of the world.”

It’s refreshing to know their ambition isn’t confined to the studio. “We’ve always said that if people heard our music, we’re sure they’d like it.” With the news that they are to support rock giants Kings of Leon at Slane all we can say about this simple hope is so far, so good.

Elbow will play at Slane on May 28th and their album, Build a Rocket Boys!, is out now.

,-./0123/.456/%#6.7/ 8.79/0:229/%2/2%#/8.79/ ;:56/<=..>/$1#6/;4<<18./ 642?%8.7<@/A/#612B/10/$./ 3132C#/1#/$%:=3/648./04==.2/ 4>47#/4/=%2?/#1;./4?%D how different they will feel but we want to take them on a journey really.”

In a just world, BRB! would be the album to immortalise Elbow. All the band’s trademark touches are still there, amongst them the ambitious scale of songs like ‘The Birds’ and the polished professionalism of their production. But the changes in the band members’ lives have given them new stories to tell.

“We’re all getting older,” Potter says matter-of-factly.

“We’ve all got families. Guy has moved back to where he grew up, where we all grew up.” Potter’s language says a lot. The band is a ‘we’, a united front, a team.

Having shared a childhood, the album is like a scrapbook of their collective memories.

“A lot of the lyrical themes are about growing up, your early teens really, being a bit of a spare part. Too old for youth clubs, too young to go to the pub, so you’re just stuck on the street really, and we’ve all been there. So I suppose it’s looking back to that age, and being proud of it. And encouraging young people, especially on the song ‘Lippy Kids’, to ‘Go build a rocket boys!’ To do something great while you’ve got the world at your feet.”

Inspiration is definitely part of the album, but only as much as introspection. ‘Jesus is A Rochdale Girl’, the spiritual centrepiece of the album is a plaintive acoustic tribute to Guy Garvey’s first house and the memories it holds. “That was the first song to be finished on the writing and recording of this record. And it almost became the blueprint for it really.”

The lyrics are cryptic. Who is the Rochdale girl? Who is Garvey’s ‘Single heartache’? The only lyric Potter will explain is ‘Got a house that you can smoke in, so all my friends found me’. “He had the house we all went around to and got stoned in!” he admits, chuckling to himself. “We’re proud of that song, because we were there with him. So those lyrics are about what we were all doing really.”

!*

&'()

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

Close encounters of the semi-sexual kind

April 12th Adele – The Olympia – €36.70 Oneohtrix – The Button Factory – €18 April 13th The View – The Academy – €25.90 J Mascis (solo) of Dinosaur Jr – Whelan’s – €23 April 14th Beady Eye – The Olympia – €41.20 Buck 65 – The Academy 2 – €16.50 April 15th O Emperor – The Academy – €18.50 Miracle Bell and The Cape – Crawdaddy – €N/A April 16th Lykke Li – Tripod – €27.55 Jody has a hit list – The Academy – €15 April 17th N-Dubz – The Olympia – €34.90

Your Highness is hardly the most prestigious film Natalie Portman has ever appeared in

High and low Title: Your Highness Director David Gordon Green Starring: Danny McBride, Natalie Portman, James Franco, Zooey Deschanel Release Date: April 13th

Conor Barry is one of several mavericks behind this extraordinary project Title: Cop To The Future and Back - Part II; Electric Bungalow Director: David Reilly Starring:Conor ‘Luke’ Barry, Heber Hanly, Conor O’Toole, and that Mike out of ‘Friends’ Release Date: Out Now!

A

fter last year’s surprise time-travelling crime-thriller-rom-com smash hit, Detective Harvey Price is back in action, and this time, it’s for the second time.

Yes, everyone’s favourite Jewish Orthodox bad cop is back, and he’s badder and more orthodox than ever. Cop To The Future and Back – Part II; Electric Bungalow starts up exactly where the first film left off. Harvey Price, moments after punching Winston Churchill in the face and declaring Home Rule, leaps onto the back of Veloci-Rapper (his urban dinosaur companion), and jumps back into the ‘Time Puddle’, setting off for more pseudo-racist adventures. And what adventures they are.

Nothing can prepare you for the onslaught of hardcore action, dramatic chase scenes and numerous tap-dance numbers. The frenetic action simply does not let up with a flurry of graphic violence and massive amounts of nudity to feast your eyes on. The entire second act is nothing but clicking heels and sexy bitches, with director David Reilly breaking new ground with his inventive use of the two-hour montage.

The film doesn’t really gather pace until Price learns the ability to freeze time, which is mostly used for

some of the many, many gunfights, or getting a sly look down girls’ tops. From then on out, it’s all stealing Ghandi’s glasses, challenging Julius Caesar to a game of Twister, and having awkward semi-sexual encounters with his own mom in the 50s.

Heber Hanly gives a spirited performance as Price’s wizard-baby Jorge, and Conor O’Toole brings a street-wise flava to the voice of Veloci-Rapper. Conor ‘Luke’ Barry, however, steals the show as the grizzled chipper-turned-time travelling detective. Make sure to stick around for the outtakes over the end credits, as there is one particularly hilarious moment where Barry, still in character, punches a make-up lady for accidentally touching him.

The film isn’t perfect, and even if the fourth hot-air balloon race drags on a touch too long, or if Harvey stumbling upon a lesbian-make-out festival seems a bit contrived, these minor imperfections are easily overlooked. Brilliant set pieces like the base-jumping sex-scene, or when Harvey watches the entire first season of Come Dine With Me, make up for any small complaints you might have, and then some.

It’s hot, sexy and so full of action that you forget the lead actor’s recent tabloid scandals. Imagine if Crank 2 and Sunset Boulevard had a baby; that baby would be really weird, and probably have complicated medical problems. But remember, if you see only one film this year, you’re obviously very busy.

In A Nutshell: Believe the hype – it’s the best Jewish crime/detective thriller since Molotov Mazel-Tov. - Jon Hozier-Byrne

&'()'*+(

!"#$%

Show Patrol

!*

We like to think of ourselves as a mature bunch here at o-two. We drink coffee and talk about grown-up things like politics, the economy, and which SU officer would win in a fight. But sometimes, just sometimes, a film will slip past our sensible, grown-up radar and tickle our adolescent funny bone. As much as we love our David Lynch and Vincent Gallo, there’s nothing quite like sitting down with a vast bucket of popcorn and something as stupid as it is hilarious.

Much in the vain of Airplane!, Robin Hood; Men In Tights or even Borat, Your Highness takes spoof comedy and melds it perfectly with immature, stoner humour. Director David Gordon Green (whose previous filmography tellingly includes Pineapple Express) has crafted what can only be described as a masterpiece of immature, laddish comedy.

The heroic Prince Fabious (James Franco), fresh from yet another glorious quest, must once again set off to save his beautiful bride-to-be Belladonna (Zooey Deschanel) from the clutches of the evil, sexually-repressed wizard Leezar (Justin Theroux). But this time, the heir apparent will be accompanied by his slacker younger brother, the pot-smoking Prince Thadeous (Danny McBride). Can Fabious save his Princess before the grotesque warlock violates her? Will Thadeous prove he too can be a heroic prince? Will Natalie Portman live to regret being in this movie?

The presence of both Oscar host James Franco and Best Actress winner Natalie Portman is easily one of the film’s biggest selling points, and part of you is left wondering exactly what Portman was thinking signing up to Your Highness after the remarkable acclaim Black Swan provided her. That said, the actress’ “serious” persona only stands to make the hyperbolic silliness directed at her all the more hilarious.

By no stretch of the imagination is this film for everyone, and to be completely frank, it’s a film the men in the audience are simply more likely to enjoy. With that said, it is riddled with laugh-out-loud moments, wellexecuted action and clever physical comedy. Sure, there might be a slight over-reliance on the ‘swear-words-ina-medieval-setting’ gag, but Your Highness easily makes for one of the most stupidly entertaining evenings out you’ll have all year.

In A Nutshell: If you felt The Lord of The Rings needed more scantily clad women, pot-smoking princes and lots, lots more dick jokes, do not miss this film.

- Jon Hozier-Byrne

!"#$%&'(#")!!

Sage Francis – Whelan’s – €20 April 18th D’Unbelievables – Vicar Street – €36.55 Gig for Gary – Whelan’s – €10 April 19th Big Country – The Academy – €26.50 Brother – Academy 2 – €13.50 April 20th Maeve Higgins – Whelan’s – €15 April 21st Dinosaur Pile Up – Academy 2 – €15 April 22nd Dublin Gospel Choir – The Olympia – €33.75 April 23rd The Harlem Globe Trotters – Nation Basketball Arena – €44.10 Seanie Vaughan – Whelan’s – €8 April 24th Good Morning Mrs Brown – Olympia – €30 Pete Courtney – Whelan’s – €10

Gig of the Fortnight: Lykke Li April 16th – Tripod – €27.55 Following the success of her second album, Wounded Rhymes, NME darling Lykke Li is bringing her soft and charismatic vocals to Dublin as part of her European tour. The songstress is sure to give Irish fans an eclectic set, combining sweet and simple love songs with fast-paced rhythmically charge tunes draped with attitude.

Her plethora of catchy tracks such as ‘Dance, Dance, Dance’, ‘I’m Good, I’m Gone’ and ‘Get Some’ will undoubtedly feature, rendering it akin to heaven for anyone with a penchant for skewered pop.

Hopefully you’ll be lucky enough to catch Lykke Li in the comfortable surroundings of Tripod, but if not, she’ll also be returning to Irish shores for arguably the musical event of the summer – Electric Picnic.

- Imelda Hehir

MCD PRESENTS

dgc poster 40x30.pdf 11/03/2011 15:33:04

C

M

Y

CM

MY

CY

CMY

22ND APRIL 2011

K

Featuring very special performances by

(GOOD FRIDAY) !"#$%&'()*+$!"#+!,# OLYMPIA THEATRE +),*&$--./$-011 Doors: 7.15pm. Show starts 8pm 23%%4$5,*4+'6 CATHY DAVEY, NEIL HANNON AND PADDY CASEY !*78#!9$¤:0$

TICKETS €30 (INCL. BKG. FEE) FROM TICKETMASTER: TEL: 0818 719 300. IN PERSON FROM USUAL TICKETMASTER OUTLETS very special performances

by BOOKINGS SUBJECT TO 12.5% SERVICE BUY ONLINEFeaturing 24HRS: WWW.TICKETMASTER.IE *(PHONE & INTERNET CHARGE PER TICKET (MAX €6.35) / AGENTS €2.25) *;7$<%%8*;3$5##

+=+*&+<&#$5,%($!*78#!(+9!#, FIND US ON FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/mcd.productions

7+!"'$4+=#'>$;#*&$"+;;%; +;4$)+44'$7+9#'

*TICKETS from Ticketmaster outlets nationwide. 24 Hrs: 0818 719 300. Buy On Line; www.ticketmaster.ie. (Telephone & Internet bookings subject to €3.35 s/c per ticket up to €28.50; 12.5% over €28.50 (max €6.35) / Agents €2.25) Subscribe now to mcd.ie for the latest live entertainment, news and tickets.

Doors 7.15pm, Show starts 8pm

&'()*!+

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

!"

!*

!"#$%&'(#")!!

&'()

!"#$%

Packing a punch

The queen of beauty O

She sported tight-waisted dresses that accentuated her curves – a contemporary cut for formal wear still today, and was never shy to experiment. Whether it was boasting ostentatious head pieces, sporting a turban, or the bold use of brightly coloured makeup, Taylor was on the cusp of a fastevolving world of fashion.

The actress’ glamorous lifestyle and taste was exemplified by her lavish jewellery collection. She was immensely passionate about it, going as far as to write a book entitled My Love Affair with Jewellery.

Taylor was rarely seen without a grandiose display of diamonds adorning her thin frame, which were regularly showcased just above a plunging neckline. Her affinity for large, loose curls hardly ever wavered and has inspired modern style icons such as Katy Perry and Dita Von Tesse.

Taylor’s diamonds, dresses and perfectly applied makeup seemed almost as much as part of her as her violet eyes, porcelain complexion and jet black hair. She never appeared looking less than perfect, favouring luxurious gowns and gems over casual attire. Her natural elegance and poise accentuated her style and ensured that the star would be forever remembered as the epitome of Hollywood glamour and refinement.

Faith in fashion F

The hijab is about “self-expression”

Elizabeth Taylor wore over 65 costumes for Cleopatra including a dress made from 24-carat gold cloth

Fashion Editor Donna Doyle speaks to Nur Zahidah Azhar Shapawi and Sarina Kajani about Islamic fashion

ashion is a form of self-expression. How we dress is a statement of our identity and the self-image we wish to project to the world. For many Islamic women, the approach to fashion is a different experience than one in the Western world – one that is often misunderstood and a subject of much controversy.

In order to preserve their modesty, Allah states in the Quran that women must “reduce [some] of their vision and… not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears”. Influenced by this, clothing must cover the entire body and only the hands and face may remain visible.

Other guidelines determine dress, including the material chosen and the loose-fit necessary. Clothing should not be worn for the sole purpose of gaining reputation or attracting attention. It is this statement that conflicts with my personal opinion of what fashion is, and strives to be.

Speaking to Nur Zahidah Azhar Shapawi, General Secretary of UCD’s Islamic Society, and Sarina Kajani, a key player within the UCD Fashion and Design Society, I aimed to learn more of what the hijab (dress code) means to an Islamic woman in a Western world, and whether it is possible for them to achieve individuality.

Abiding strictly by the Islamic dress code, Malaysian-born Zahidah trusts that the “hijab means modesty and identity” and importantly, protects women from exploitation. Despite this, Zahidah believes that Muslim women “portray modesty, yet are fashionable. The Muslim woman dresses appropriately and not extrovertly”. She does not feel she has to expose herself in order to receive attention or gain recogni-

Nerd Movies

Do you get excited when you hear talk of lightspeed or see comic book references?

Well let Emer Sugrue educate you in the way of the nerd

With the passing of Elizabeth Taylor, Lorraine Haigney looks at a long career that changed fashion as we know it n March 24th, reports that Dame Elizabeth Taylor had passed away were met with a sense of disbelief. The reaction is understandable; Taylor, after a 65-year career, seemed to have become a permanent fixture in Hollywood.

Trying to comprehend her passing is comparable to the disassembly of the Hollywood sign or having the walk of fame cemented over. The loss of the violet-eyed beauty is tragic, but her legacy, both as an Academy Award-winning actress and fashion icon, is something to be celebrated.

Taylor was only 19 when she starred in A Place in the Sun (1951), in which she played the role of the seductive other woman. She soon garnered attention and recognition from the public as both a talented actress and a silver screen beauty.

In the leading role as Cleopatra, in the movie of the same name, Taylor sported over 65 costumes, a record at that time, including a dress made from 24-carat gold cloth. Her blunt hairdo, short fringe and eccentric eye make-up is an iconic Hollywood image.

Taylor became the pin-up girl of Hollywood. She was refined and stunning in her dress as well as being seductive and provocative and her style, like her personality, was big, bold and brazen.

Top Ten:

tion, and because of this, she achieves more and “is the most fashionable”.

Irish-born Sarina Kajani is a Sh’ia Ismaili Muslim – a modernised denomination of Islam, particularly in Western cultures. Kajani explains: “The world is ever changing and [although] the ideas and values from a mainly Eastern culture are upheld, there are some things that need to adjust to modern-day life.

“Personally, I don’t wear the [hijab]. I don’t need to. I think it’s a beautiful piece of clothing and can come in amazing designs with intricate details,” she says. “There are different styles, designs [and] materials, black hijabs with pretty sequined designs [and other] ones with floral and printed patterns.”

An avid fashionista, Kajani plans to open a retail unit over the summer, following both her parents into the fashion industry. Her business venture will be influenced less by her Islamic background, and more by the demands of the modern industry, but she notes: “Aspects of Islamic culture are integrated into the modern fashion world. Harem pants, long wavy skirts and even headscarves [are] all Islamicinspired.

The West inherently misunderstands fashion in the Muslim world. Far from representing oppression within the context of male-dominated society, the hijab is seen by the women who wear it as more than just an expression of their identity, but an expression of intensely personal values.

Kajani sums it up in a way that seems paradoxical to the contemporary Western assumption: “It is self-expression.”

Sucker Punch represents a shift in Zack Snyder’s previous work, owing largely to the film’s feminist undertones Title: Sucker Punch Director: Zack Snyder Starring: Emily Browning, Vanessa Hudgens, Abbie Cornish Release Date: Out Now

I

wonder what Zack Snyder is like in person, but I can’t help but imagine he has a Steve Holt-like tendency to shout his own name at passers-by.

Snyder is one of the rare modern filmmakers who really put a unique directorial stamp on everything he touches. 300, despite it’s pomposity, was very enjoyable, and Snyder also probably did the best job one could possibly do adapting Watchmen into a movie. Maybe, beneath his bravado, lies a good filmmaker who can accomplish things beyond the visually arresting. Or maybe not.

Right from the overblown opening, we meet Babydoll (Emily Browning, A Series of Unfortunate Events), a 20-year-old girl committed to an insane asylum by her abusive stepfather. In order to escape the horrors of her situation, she re-imagines the asylum as a burlesque brothel featuring an over-abundance of cleavage and unfathomably fetishised fashions.

The provocative, even exploitative aesthetic belies the fact the film is set in the 1950s, and the sexual issues raised by the film are further complicated given how Browning is made to look many years younger than she actually is. She, sisters Rocket (Jena Malone, Donnie Darko) and Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish, Limitless), along with Amber (Jamie Chung, Sorority Row) and Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens, High School Musical) hatch a plan to escape the asylum, but while doing so they must procure five magical MacGuffins.

Each object must be obtained through various

trials and chicanery, most notably a scene in which Babydoll entices an antagonist with a provocative lap dance. Within this lap dance, Babydoll transcends her faux-reality into a further dream state, imagining their quest as a WWII battle or mythical-beast slaying adventure. Quickly, the film becomes Inception with corsets.

In attempting to make the ultimate fan boy film, Snyder throws coherence out the window in favour of, let’s be honest, fetishisms. It’s an action movie that imagines itself as a tale of female empowerment; the rarely seen female protagonists rising up against male oppression through the powers they hold through self-objectification as sexual objects.

In execution, however, their struggle acts as a pointless backdrop for their skimpy hypersexual outfits. Hang on, isn’t this movie rated 12A? Now, I don’t purport to know very much about neo-feminist theory, and no doubt the interwebs will be shortly full of such commentaries on this film, but a troglodyte like myself can see that Synder’s attempts to transition from the hyper-masculinity of 300 to this alleged hyper-femininity is more than a little misguided. It could even be argued that Snyder is a terrible, exploitative storyteller, however, in spite of everything, I really enjoyed this film.

It is, like Snyder’s previous efforts, visually spectacular, and sexual politics aside, not exactly tough on the corneas. If you can detach critical thought from the experience, it’s great fun. But if you attempt to instil logic, sexual commentary or, indeed, coherency into the experience, all is lost.

In a Nutshell: Raucous, ludicrous, crass, offensive and pointless. Good fun, so.

- Breffni O’Sullivan

10. Back to the Future The series is singlehandedly responsible for my obsession interest in time travel and my childhood introduction to the world of nerd. Who doesn’t get a pang of hope every time the speedometer edges towards 88mph?

9. Ghostbusters Dan Akroyd gets a blowjob from a ghost, need I say more?

When even the dead are queuing up for a taste of nerd, you know the geek has inherited the earth.

8. Kick-Ass All superhero movies are nerdy to an extent, but none so much as kick ass. He has no actual superpowers, no money and no fighting skills, yet he not only defeats the bad guy (admittedly with the help of a foul-mouthed child and a fuckton of weaponry) but despite a complete lack of social skills to the point of pretending he is gay to impress a girl, he actually gets her! Total nerd fantasy, totally kick ass.

7. Primer Made for just €7,000 by an engineer and mathematician, you’ll need a PhD in physics just to realise how little you understand this time travel film. It’s practically Joycean in its incomprehensibility; there aren’t so much time lines as time vomit.

6. The Social Network Aspirational nerdery at its finest. An average nerd becomes a bajillionaire by the age of 25, through nothing but brain power and an insatiable thirst for your personal information.

5. Star Trek (2009) The release of this Star Trek reboot prompted the globe’s first simultaneous nerdgasm – it has Spock, time travel, alternate continuity, Spock, space ships, laser fights, Simon Pegg and Spock. You won’t be able to breath from the sheer geekery radiating from the screen.

4. Star Wars In many ways, this was the birth of geekitude. Sure, Star Trek came out years before, but this is when it really hit the mainstream. No longer did alien planets consist of an oval of quarry but whole planets of quarry. The only thing lacking in nerd fantasy was the chicks: Captain Kirk got a green-skinned alien babe, Luke got his own sister.

3. The Net From the high-tech world of 1995, Sandra Bullock has all her information stolen. But instead of losing some money and spending the film arguing with the bank, they stole her LIFE. All of it. And Facebook wasn’t even invented yet. But don’t worry – Sandra has a floppy disk with the internet on it, so it’s cool.

2. Die Hard 4.0 In between all the explosions, ass kicking and dirty vests, is the hacking. So much hacking. Traffic lights gone red?

Hack them. People breaking into your building? Hack the gas pipe. There’s a deleted scene in which Bruce Willis hacks his fridge to store more milk.

1. Scott Pilgrim This film has more video game references than dialogue.

Every movement has a nod to some sort of geek pop culture. Despite becoming an instant cult hit amongst the indoorsy amongst us, it turns out that the people who have money and the people who go on the internet aren’t in the same Venn diagram. Oh well.

&'(')*+*!,

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

!*

!!

!"#$%&'(#")!!

&'()*!+

!"#$%

The funny side of death The latest Sky Atlantic import is a slacker-noir comedy thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a little rough around the edges, writesGeorge Morahan.

E

arly on in Bored to Deathâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pilot episode, Jonathan Ames is asked if he is â&#x20AC;&#x153;another self-hating New York Jewâ&#x20AC;?. Our protagonist answers with a rather dejected â&#x20AC;&#x153;yesâ&#x20AC;?. For Jonathan is a writer, struggling with his second novel and instantly recognisable in that Woody Allen mould â&#x20AC;&#x201C; urbane, painfully self-aware and writhing with neurosis.

After getting dumped by his girlfriend (and armed with a copy of Raymond Chandlerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Farewell, My Lovely), he decides to advertise himself as a private investigator on Craigslist. And therein lies the crux of Bored to Death: effete beta-male subverts hard-boiled detective fiction; surrealism ensues. However, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hit and miss to say the least.

The parts of the show concerned with Jonathanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s detective work are built around that juxtaposition. And although the inherent absurdity of it is good for some laughs, it can become a tiresome conceit. Jason Schwartzmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s performance as Jonathan can be just as exasperating. Whilst his arch onscreen persona works within the framework of Wes Anderson films or Scott Pilgrim vs the World, in a setting that somewhat resembles the real world, he can comes across as annoying and pretentious.

At times, Jonathan can be a dependably funny main character, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only when he mingles with the supporting cast that Bored to Death excels. Zach Galifianakis plays Ray, a comic book artist and Jonathanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best friend, while Ted Danson is the irrepressible George Christopher, a societal narcissist and sometime mentor to Jonathan.

Ray is at odds with most of Galfianakisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; post-Hangover roles and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one that suits him well. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s grounded yet emotionally stunted and the closest Jonathan has to a

Sophie Wears:

Jason Schwartzman (right) is rumoured to have modelled his smug look on Eamon Dunphy voice-of-reason. On the other hand, George is almost fantastical. As the affluent magazine editor hanging onto Jonathan â&#x20AC;&#x201C; thinking the youthful cool that he believes Jonathan possesses will rub off on him â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Danson gets to play excitable and aloof as well as jaded and cool, all with undeniable charisma.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s another welcome step in Dansonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s late-career renaissance. Initially famed for starring in sitcoms such as Cheers and Becker, the past few years have seen him reveal many new comedic and dramatic shades, both here and with his

Boxing Clever â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Wire A

nother cop show. Another shady cityscape.

Another unorthodox detective who doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t play by the rules, but still gets results. Another tough as nails boss whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always on his ass, but grudgingly respects him. Throw in some drug raids, a few chase scenes and, say, the murder of a witness, and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got a mildly entertaining but strictly formulaic Sunday evening cop show. A poor manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s NYPD Blue.

This preconception â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the generic label of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;cop showâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; â&#x20AC;&#x201C; meant that The Wire took a little while to really make itself known as a quality TV drama that could rival the best HBO had to offer. While it was generally well received by the critics when it first aired in June 2002, it took a few years for it to really capture the publicâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s imagination. They needed time to look beyond the donut-eating detectives and see The Wire for what it really is â&#x20AC;&#x201C; one of the greatest portrayals of the world we live in today.

The Wire is not just about the cops and the robbers, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not even just about the dock-workers, politicians, journalists, school children (the list goes on), that make up the rest of this meticulously detailed construction of a city. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s about society. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s about all the institutions, all the hierarchies and the power plays that we, no matter who we are, negotiate every day. Be it a low-level drug dealer or the cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mayor,

Maria wears:

t 1SJOUFE DSPQ TIJSU Ç&#x17D;

t %SPQ 1PDLFU )PU QBOUT Ç&#x17D; .JDIBFM XFBST

t 8IJUF U TIJSU Ç&#x17D;

t 3FE #MBDL 4IJSU Ç&#x17D;

t 5XJTUFE HSFZ KFBOT Ç&#x17D; t #MBDL BOE SFE KFSTFZ

t 8IJUF DBOWBT TIPF Ç&#x17D; All from NewESFTT CZ 5PLJLJ Ç&#x17D; Look "WBJMBCMF JO 0N %JWB

much-lauded turn in Damages.

The show finds an affable rhythm when Jonathan is playing off either one of them, but the three of them combine to hilarious effect. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not a lot in the way of plot, so it is vital for the continued growth of the series that the core trio is together as much as possible. For now, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an enjoyable diversion. As George says about himself and Jonathan, â&#x20AC;&#x153;we enthral and then we disappointâ&#x20AC;?. With a little more time, Bored to Death could do the very opposite.

Bored to Death is on Sky Atlantic, Mondays at 10:20pm.

The Wire has grown on Diarmuid Carter, and now it will grow on you

everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s got somebody to answer to. It is an examination of the defining structures that go to the very root of society, and it is â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;societyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; that is The Wireâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s main concern.

Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not to say that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s short on characters. One of its greatest achievements is to create a huge range of individual players, crossing all sectors of society, with none of them appearing thin or one-dimensional.

The most likeable characters â&#x20AC;&#x201C; such as Omar, a shotguntoting gay anti-gangster Antagonistic and perpetually drunk, Jimmy McNulty is one of the who robs drug-dealers â&#x20AC;&#x201C; showâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most popular characters are generally the outsiders, fighting outside institutional boundaries. These characters, none the less, are breakthroughs or The Sopranos. A weekly column in intrinsically linked to the society in which they exist â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Guardian analyses each episode and Harvard uses however hard you fight, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re still stuck in the maze. it for curriculum material on their urban inequality The Wire offers no easy answers. course, but apart from all that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also really, really While it may have taken a while, The Wire now enjoyable to watch. I defy you to watch an episode and gets the kind of praise usually reserved for medical not want to watch another.

Sophie Wears:

t 8IJUF ESFTT CZ $IVQJ Ç&#x17D; t 4JMWFS OFDLMBDF CZ $PVSUOFZ Ç&#x17D; "WBJMBCMF JO -VDZ T -PVOHF

MJOFT BMTP BOE JODMVEFT TUSJLJOH QSJOUT JO WJCSBOU HSFFOT BOE PSBOHF ɨF NBYJ DPOUJOVFT UP GFBUVSF JO BO BSSBZ PG QBUUFSOT CVU UIJT TFBTPO PQU GPS B TIFFS WFSTJPO PG UIF ESFTT ɨF QSPWPDBUJWF DIPJDF OPU POMZ FNBOBUFT DVSSFOU T HMBNPVS CVU BMTP TFSWFT BT B NPSF BQQSPQSJBUF PQUJPO GPS OJHIUXFBS UIBO MBTU TFBTPO T NBYJ 8FEHFT BOE B DPOUFNQPSBSZ UXJTU PO DMPHT DPN QSJTF UIF NPTU QPQVMBS MBEJFT GPPUXFBS GPS UIF DPNJOH NPOUIT /PU POMZ EP UIFZ MPPL HSFBU CVU BMTP UIFZ BSF Sophie wears Acevedo: GBS GSJFOEMJFS UP ZPVS GFFU UIBO BOZ DSJQQMJOH TUJMFUUPT t 3FE DPBU XJUI UBJMT 0N %JWB Ç&#x17D; 1FOOFZ T "]8FBS 5PQTIPQ BOE 3JWFS *TMBOE CPBTU B t ,IBLJ QBOUT -VDZ T -PVOHF Ç&#x17D; Ç&#x17D; XJEF TFMFDUJPO PG UIFTF TIPFT SBOHJOH JO QSJDF GSPN Ç&#x17D; "MM GSPN 3JWFS *TMBOE

UP Ç&#x17D; t 1FUSPM CMVF DBSEJHBO Ç&#x17D; o /FX -PPL %FOJN JT B TFBTPO GBWPVSJUF GPS NFO BOE XPNFO DIJFnZ JO UIF GPSN PG TIJSUT BOE TIPSUT " QBJS PG EFOJN TIPSUT XJMM CF BO BTTFU GPS TQSJOH BOE TVNNFS BT UIFZ BSF WFSTBUJMF 'PS HVZT UIFZ DBO CF QBJSFE VQ XJUI B TJNQMF 5 TIJSU BOE PQFO TIJSU PS JOnVFODFE CZ UIJT TFB TPO T QPQVMBS QSFQQZ TUZMF XJUI B mUUFE DIFDL TIJSU BOE DBSEJHBO " QBJS PG EFDL TIPFT PS DBOWBT SVOOFST XJMM DPNQMFUF UIJT DMFBO DVU EBZUJNF MPPL %SFTTJOH XFMM EPFTO U IBWF UP CF EJÄ&#x2039;DVMU 'PS UIF NB KPSJUZ TIPQQJOH PO UIF IJHI TUSFFU LFFQT VT TQPPO GFE PO XIBU T IPU BOE XIBU T OPU 8JUI BMNPTU [FSP TLJMM BOE FÄ&#x160;PSU ZPV DBO ESFTT BQQSPQSJBUF USFOEZ BOE GSVHBMMZ UIJT TFBTPO "ENJUUFEMZ EPJOH TP NBZ TBDSJmDF TPNF JOEJ WJEVBMJUZ CVU %VCMJO JT KVTU OPU SFBEZ GPS UIF NPOPLJOJ 4P VOUJM UIFO * TIBMM TFF ZPV JO %VOOFT 4UPSFT

Sophie Wears:

Aileen Wears:

t 1FBDI MBDF EFUBJM ESFTT CZ 5PLJLJ Ç&#x17D; t 8PPEFO QJO VQ CBEHF CZ "SUZ4NBSUZ -VDZ T -PVOHF Ç&#x17D;

Aileen Wears:

t #MVF ESFTT CZ $IVQJ Ç&#x17D;

Aileen Wears:

ÂŤJOF ,JMCSJEF t 8IJUF 5 TIJSU XJUI SVÄ&#x152;F EFUBJM Ç&#x17D; t -PWF IFBSU TLJSU Ç&#x17D; "WBJMBCMF JO 0N %JWB

Maria wears:

t 4IFFS QSJOUFE NBYJ Ç&#x17D;

t 4USBX IBU Ç&#x17D;

t #SPXO IBOECBH Ç&#x17D;

t 1FBSM CSBDFMFU Ç&#x17D;

t (PME CPX OFDLMBDF Ç&#x17D; All from A|Wear

&'()*!+

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

!)

!*

!"#$%&'(#")!!

&'()

!"#$%

The rise and fall of Charlie Sheen

Michael wears:

t 4USJQFE U TIJSU Ç&#x17D;

t %FOJN LOFF MFOHUI TIPSUT Ç&#x17D;

t /BWZ $BSEJHBO Ç&#x17D;

t (SFZ DBOWBT TIPFT Ç&#x17D;

t %FOJN TBUDIFM Ç&#x17D; All from River Island

!"#$% &'())'% $)(*)& A Maria wears:

t 8IJUF UBOL UPQ XJUI SVÄ&#x152;F Ç&#x17D;

t 4LJSU Ç&#x17D;

t 8PWFO XFEHFT Ç&#x17D; "]8FBS

Models â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Maria Madden and Michael Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Donnell Stylist â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Donna Doyle Photographer â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Jon Hozier-Byrne

dapting catwalk fashion to your own wardrobe can be a difficult task. What may look stunning on mannequin beauties on the runways of New York or Milan can most often result in a sartorial failure on the average person. Calvin Klein supermodel, Nils Butler may have rocked out the crop top on the runway for this spring, but within the humble walls of the Engineering building, I doubt the off-the-wall choice would receive the same response.

The reality is we are imperfect and diverse in our make-up. We need to learn to dress, inspired by what descends the catwalk sure, but in a way that reflects our individual style and most importantly accentuates and complements our own assets.

High street stores in this case serve as a convenient middleman. They provide the best of, and most importantly, the most accessible trends from the runway, ultimately bringing fashion to the masses.

With this in mind, it is necessary to change your wardrobe this season and freshen it up after a long, drab winter. Ditch the winter coat and three layers of tights â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and grit your teeth through the coldâ&#x20AC;Śyou might even achieve a few freckles for it.

For the ladies, bold patterns dominated the runway and similarly do so on the shelves of our local stores.

Bold and exotic prints enliven any outfit, while a multitude of floral patterns offer a more feminine choice.

Tribal fashion has been incorporated in many new

Media indulgence and societyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s willingness to glorify the actions of Charlie Sheen provokes Jon Hozier-Byrne to ask why this ideal doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t transcend gender

Charlie Sheenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s private life has been the source of much speculation ever since his notorious interview on a local New York radio station

I

s it just me, or do we enjoy watching celebrities crumple into a fetal ball of drug abuse and mental illness more than we probably should? There is something perversely fascinating about watching a star, someone who we previously held up as universally aspirational, crash and burn in a dramatic, and bizarrely satisfying way.

But what is it that so excites us about watching the completion of a starâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rise and fall? Why do we take such pleasure in the misfortunes of others, but only justify our pleasure if the subject was previously an object of public adoration? In short, what is wrong with our media, and what is wrong with us?

Immediately, these questions become strictly gendered.

Media criticism of the social habits, personal choices and indeed the very personalities of media darlings has traditionally been the domain of female stars. A drug-snorting, sex-crazed male celebrity is bad enough, but apply the same characteristics to a female star, and the crime is instantaneously shaded as somehow unforgivable. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a sad reality of media culture that female stars are judged with infinitely less forgiveness than their male counterparts.

It has gotten to the point where male indiscretions are an almost expected part of the male celebrity persona.

Male film stars are not punished for their promiscuity in any tangible way; in fact, it seems to reinforce their masculinity, to re-assert the assumed virility that is such an essential part of the masculine celebrity persona. The male

celebrity narrative is almost incomplete without a sexual indiscretion, dutifully forgiven by the their style-icon wife or girlfriend, lest she be seen as a spiteful woman, and have the always-fair court of public opinion swing against her.

From Robert Downey Jr, to Hugh Grant, to Russell Brand, a sex or drug scandal serves as more of a blessing than a curse to a newly invigorated male persona. Apply this to a female, however, and instead of a laddish misdemeanour becomes an unforgivable sin. Britney Spears, Christina Ricci, or Lindsey Lohan have all become victims of the mediaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s double standards.

How then, does one describe Charlie Sheen? The difference between the aforementioned male and female breakdowns is the implication of a mental illness, which is a large part of the subtext regarding a female breakdown. Scandal-ridden males are judged as victims to their â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;alpha-maleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; nature â&#x20AC;&#x201C; females must just be crazy. Charlie Sheen, however, is clearly being treated as a victim to the traditionally female starâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s trope of mental illness.

The most peculiar aspect of the mediaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s treatment of Sheen has been the construction of a film-like three-act narrative within the coverage of the starâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s meltdown. Sheen was once a model family man: bright, handsome and most importantly, the heir apparent to a respected Hollywood dynasty.

The media, and the public that so voraciously consumes it, needed an explanation as to how this idealised character transformed into a raging, ranting media presence. How

did Sheen go from picture-perfect family man to living with two girlfriends? How did he go from loving father to manic egotistic? In short, how did he go from the societal ideal man to the untethered male â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;idâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;?

So, in spite of numerous drug tests, the media largely infers that Sheen is still using drugs â&#x20AC;&#x201C; it serves as a narrative explanation of how a male could so reject social norms.

The implication that Sheen is on drugs is used to retroactively justify the subsequent media scrutiny and vilification of the man and the way he lives.

It is Sheenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s second act, with a media searching desperately for the sagaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s potentially tragic conclusion. We, both the media and society, quietly seek an apology for his willingness to embrace the male ego â&#x20AC;&#x201C; but Charlie Sheen, flying against the norm, remains intransigent, and as such, defies explanation.

The great irony is that it is Sheenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rejection of traditional male roles that both vilifies him, and makes him so appealing to an internet counterculture. In a time when new media leaves us closer to stars than ever, and uninterrupted coverage of a mental breakdown has become suddenly possible, the way in which we perceive and even idolise film stars is fundamentally changing.

Charlie Sheen represents a fundamental break with a decades old trend, and not only is he circumventing the traditionally gendered mental breakdown, but he is forcing us to re-establish our perception of societal male norms. Not bad for the star of Two And A Half Men.

&'()*

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

")

Bittersweet Symphony Paul Donoghue, of Glaswegian rockers Glasvegas, talks to George Morahan about the empathy, euphoria and heartbreak

*

!"#$%&'(#")!!

Webwatch:

Twittiquette Brevity is the soul of wit and now it’s confined to 140 characters: Sarah Doran picks out Twitter’s finest novelty accounts

T

Glasvegas have matured greatly ever since they broke onto the music scene back in 2007

H

ype can kill any band. Those who survive the fawning yet fickle gaze of the modern music press are made more resilient for it, but that doesn’t mean they will escape

unscathed.

In the case of Glasvegas – who were instantly ravaged by the NME upon the limited release of their 2007 single, ‘Daddy’s Gone’ – such expectation and responsibility caught them unaware, as bassist Paul Donoghue explains. “It’s like getting a punch in the face, and you have to wake up. Looking back on it now, we’re very lucky to have had that time, we’re stronger people for it, and we’re much more mature people now.”

In the wake of all the publicity, Glasvegas left for New York to record their self-titled debut album and, upon returning to the UK, it seemed the band would retain their balance, but the added workload came too quickly for them to handle properly. “As things went on, I think we struggled a little more. It was such a change in our lives. I don’t think we expected it to be such hard work. We thought it was more ‘turn up, play a gig and go home’ and that was all we’d ever done.”

What started as an excuse to sit around, get drunk and occasionally play some guitar was now a career.

Glasvegas had gone to number two in the UK charts, whilst garnering critical plaudits and a Mercury Prize nomination. The band was now established, in-demand, they even supported U2 at Croke Park.

Drummer Caroline McKay was first to crack, leaving the band in late 2009, but they were all buckling under the weight of promotional demands and straining familial relations. McKay may have not been able to continue; however success had the biggest impact on vocalist and guitarist James Allen. “It was hard for James, especially with the way he writes his lyrics.

When he wrote ‘Daddy’s Gone’, he didn’t know how big

it was gonna go and how much it would connect with people,” he says. “It was uncomfortable for him the first time he spoke to his father about it.”

The song resonated with people and the album consistently showed an ability to blend the deeply personal with an anthemic spirit; a talent that has defined Glasvegas’ fledgling career and is a vital part of the band’s identity. “I think out band runs on emotions. That’s not always the best way to be, but I think emotions are what drive us. I think if we didn’t show that anymore, we wouldn’t do it, we’d give up.”

While James’ gift to harness such private pain is one of the qualities that Donoghue deeply admires about him. “James is a very empathetic person. Sometimes all it takes is a look and James knows what’s happening inside that person’s head. He’s done it with me before and it is stuff I don’t even realise.”

Their aptly named second album, EUPHORIC /// HEARTBREAK \\\ incessantly explores its titles themes. Donoghue suggests that they are two sides of the one coin and either would be pointless without the other. “I think if you didn’t have heartbreak, you wouldn’t know what euphoria was. I think they’re two opposites that work very well together.”

On top of that, Allen’s capacity for empathy has been stretched further than ever as he contemplates the pain and compromise of closeted homosexuality on two songs, ‘I Feel Wrong’ and ‘Stronger Than Dirt’. The latter of which, Donoghue recalls, came as the result of a fleeting glance across a busy room.

“We were at this party one night – and I was totally oblivious to this happening – and these two people we know, these two guys, one of them is there with his girlfriend, but James saw the way they looked at one another and he could tell there was something going on. But that look said everything to James and he

knew that it doesn’t matter whom the other person is.

That’s love and it’s very rare that you’d see that.”

In early 2010, the band demoed ‘Stronger Than Dirt’ and the rest of the album in Santa Monica, California, with new drummer Jonna Löfgren. It was a productive retreat and one that significantly altered the band musically.

Where Glasvegas was heavily indebted to the sounds of 50s Doo-Wop and Glaswegian shoegaze pioneers The Jesus and Mary Chain, EUPHORIC /// HEARTBREAK \\\ grasps at Depeche Mode’s brand of stadium electro-rock. “We’d just got into the album Violator by Depeche Mode, which really inspired the music. We were a bit more open, this time, to trying a bit of keyboard. Before it was like: ‘What’s that doing in the studio? That thing with the black and white keys’.”

EUPHORIC /// HEARTBREAK \\\ proves Glasvegas are a band aiming for the jugular and they expect their audience to react as much. “We don’t mind people saying they hate us or love us, but we hate being in the middle or just being alright.” Such statements demonstrate how their attitudes towards music have been significantly adjusted since the early days, a fact that isn’t lost on Donoghue. “It’s actually weird hearing everybody say goodnight at midnight and going to bed rather than going out, looking for a party.”

They may have matured, or even mellowed, but it doesn’t feel like they have become blatant careerists either. Their ambitions remain reassuringly modest.

“As long as we can still go on tour and still make albums and keep enjoying it, we’ll be very happy.” No pressure.

Glasvegas play The Academy on April 28th. Tickets are €23. EUPHORIC /// HEARTBREAK \\\ is out now.

&'(

!"#$%

witter: your best friend during exam time, your handy iPhone app, that thing you have no idea how to use. TV presenters, sports stars, actors, ‘yer ma’; almost everyone is using it, even Lord Voldemort.

Indeed when you tire of reading about what your friends ate for lunch, novelty tweets are the perfect remedy, even if on occasion they may prove a tad disturbing. They range in category from the real to surreal, from shitmydadsays to Charlie Sheen.

Charlie McDowell’s ‘Dear Girls Above Me’ is a collection of responses from the beleaguered occupant of the apartment below to the ramblings of two loud and ludicrous LA lassies: ‘Dear Girls Above Me, “Hey Claire, what day is it?” Oh no, please don’t sing--“It’s Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday.” It’s Thursday!’

McDowell’s novelty account has proven popular enough to land him a spot in Time Magazine’s top 140 Twitter feeds.

Yet his success seems meagre when compared with that of Justin Halpern’s shitmydadsays. Within months of tweeting his father’s rather raucous comments about life, love and everything in between, Halpern’s feed became the inspiration for a CBS-produced sitcom. $#*!

My Dad Says stars Star Trek and Boston Legal veteran, William Shatner, as Halpern’s disgruntled daddy.

On the world wide web, the line between fantasy and reality has never been drawn and Twitter is no exception.

Hundreds of novelty accounts have popped up online featuring Lord Voldemort is one of the more famous parody Twitter satirical impersonations of famous accounts to follow figures.

Pope Benny XVI provides ample entertainment on to lose your empire.’

Theological Thursday, when he imparts his religious Lord_Voldemort7 has been tweeting up a storm in wisdom: he’s still pushing for the reintroduction of recent months and just picked up a Shorty Award. Lord V reincarnation apparently. The Real Rob Mugabe will received the award for Humour in Twitter’s answer to the keep you posted on current affairs and has been doing Oscars and was quietly pleased: ‘I’ve won a Shorty Award. so for quite some time. To remind the world that it was As with my other trophies, I’ll turn it into a horcrux & International Women’s Day, he tweeted: ‘I’m listening to hope people take that “I died laughing” thing seriously.’ that wonderful song about female empowerment, Kelis’s Though they do inspire a slight worry for the mindset Milkshake.’ of their creators, this particular brand of novelty account Luke Skywalker tweets his Darth’s thoughts through tends to hit the nail on the head when it comes to humour. shitmydarthsays: ‘Egypt: if you can be defeated by rebels Harmless fun or verging on psychotic? You decide. Just whose only powers are Facebook and Twitter, you deserve remember, Charlie Sheen’s account is actually real.

Welcome to the internet, my friend!

Remember when The Simpsons actually had good jokes? Dan Moriarty takes a look at a website that pays homage to the show’s glory years

E

ye on Springfield is a simple pleasure; the foot massage of blogs if you will. It celebrates those bygone days when The Simpsons was a sharp and funny television show.

The blog celebrates the show from the first to the ninth season where the team behind it felt was its golden period.

This is backed up by writer Mike Scully, who ran the show for seasons 9-12, responding to a question about the shows longevity. ‘Lower your quality standards, once you’ve done that you can go on forever’, he replied, a mantra repeated by college boys to the mirror before every night out.

The blog itself is simple yet entertaining. It comprises of a daily uploading of a single still frame from a Simpsons episode, mostly one that you remember seeing but cannot pinpoint what episode.

Occasionally there will be a little quotation, rarely stretching beyond five words so it’s more of a visual feast. It may make one wonder why they didn’t just watch The Simpsons instead.

Eye on Springfield is a decent blog. It is nicely laid out and the Kent Brockman-esque design, the show where the blog gets its name, is clever. It certainly does have an initial visual appeal, but the idea behind the blog is just a little simple. The screen shots are interesting when you see them first but they don’t have the same appeal of Facebook, Asos or indeed Pornhub that will bring you back an hour later.

The site also contains a listing of eight people as part of ‘The News Team’ (keeping with the Kent Brockman theme), who have used some cool little app to ‘Simpsonify’ their faces. Clicking on any of the faces takes you to another blog or website by the person you clicked on. For myself, these were the most interesting part of the blog; especially Eric Carmichael’s external site is concerned with the workings of the brain.

For the casual Simpsons watcher this site is interesting but vaguely so. For those very into The Simpsons, I would imagine it is fantastic. It is full of opportunity for bookish theorising on various facets of the show.

In some ways, the blog is just that, a Simpsons fetish property.

Eye on Springfield includes images from episodes which had no bearing on the episode’s plot, highlighting the layers of jokes The Simpsons had in its heyday For those who reminisce about the heyday of The Simpsons, the site would be worth looking up. For others, there’ll probably be a Family Guy-themed picture blog up in a few years that you’ll appreciate more.

&'()*+

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

*

North by northwest Africa More than just deserts, hot sun and camels; let Aprar Elawads take you through the delights of northern Africa

"!

&'()*

!"#$%

Family matters !"#$%&'(#")!!

Kingsley Chapman, of indie-punk crossovers The Chapman Family, talks to Conor O’Nolan about their passion for touring and debut album

I

The interior chambers and passages of the pyramids are one of many attractions greeting you in Egypt

I

f the idea of staying in Ireland for another cloudy summer doesn’t appeal and you’re looking for a cheap holiday, sun and a bit of culture shock, then northern Africa is the place to go. Between Egypt, Tunisia and Morocco, you should have more than enough to do for a couple of weeks holiday.

Egypt is one of those places that you just have to see for yourself, if only to see what all the fuss is about.

Let’s just say that it’s hot to say the least. It may feel more like being in a large oven but for the sightseer in you, there’s so much to do and so many places to go, you’ll barely have time to catch your breath.

I would suggest starting up in Alexandria, the second largest city in Egypt. Beside the Mediterranean, Alexandria is great for meeting the locals to get a better sense of the country rather than the touristy towns and cities. It’s a beautiful city with contrasting architecture reflecting the country’s history from the Greek to the Romans.

And no trip to Egypt would be complete without going to Cairo, where there are more than enough mummies and museums to keep the child in you very amused. If you start at the centre of the city, you can see it grow older in front of your own eyes before you finally reach the pyramids.

By that stage, you will have hyped them up so much in your own head; they’ll impress you even more when they live up to it. If you are lucky enough to get inside, then it’ll make the travel and heat completely

worthwhile. The various chambers and passages inside are beautiful and you will be left speechless by the sheer scale of it all.

If you have the time, one of the best ways to get a sense of the city’s history is by taking a trip along the Nile. The scenery is breathtaking and while on the water, you will get a much longed for breeze to cool you down.

From Cairo, I flew to Tunisia, which by itself would make a perfect holiday. It has a taste of everything – desert oases, Berber architecture, ancient ruins, the Sahara, stunning mosques and bath houses. You’ll find something to suit your tastes whether you want to stretch out on the beach, or if you want to soak up the true nature of the country.

Not knowing what to expect of Tunisia can end up adding to the experience, as it is, in many ways, a meeting point for so many cultures. It has the scars of French colonialism, a long Islamic rule and traditional African cultures all combining to give an extremely diverse selection of food, music and art.

My final destination was Morocco, which is full of great marketplaces, colourful palaces, mountains and beaches. Marrakesh is a must-visit and Fes, the cultural capital of Morocco, won’t disappoint with its beautiful architecture and beautiful art fairs. Living costs are generally cheap, but for the sightseeing tourist, admission fees do add up.

You can find a very good place to stay for under

€10, and having another €15 spending money per day should be enough to get you by. If you like to be more experimental with your food, then Morocco should be an interesting place to visit but even for the picky, there is a wide range of cuisines available.

There are great cheap trains, but while they can be very busy during the holiday period, it’s usually not difficult to get first class tickets on the day. To avoid complications however, book as far ahead as possible to be on the safe side.

The nightlife is quite good in the big cities, but as you venture outwards, it might be harder to find. I recommend going to some of the clubs on the Nile, which mainly consist of large boats that have been converted into clubs and restaurants. As for the language barrier, in Egypt, English should be fine – you’ll find a couple of English channels and papers and the locals should have a basic level. However in Tunisia and Morocco, the main European language is French, so dig out the old Leaving Cert books before you go.

A visit to northern Africa at some point in your life is essential. The sheer variety and activities in these countries is truly unique, making it a centre of both modern and ancient culture and attractions, along with breathtaking scenery and perfect summer weather. So, pack your bags, slap on some factor 60 and get ready for the adventure of a lifetime.

t’s quite difficult come up with an accurate comparison for The Chapman Family; their singles represent the incredible diversity the band has to offer. ‘Kids’ is like a scuzzy Queens of the Stone Age with an English accent, while ‘Anxiety’ sounds not unlike the dark indie of Editors. Their songs are permeated with punk-inspired drum beats and heavily distorted guitars to provide a genuinely different sound. Such a desire to stand out has been vital to their existence.

The band’s formation came from vocalist/guitarist Kingsley and rhythm guitarist Paul’s frustration at the music scene in their hometown of Stockton-onTees. “It was about the back end of when every band I seemed to see wanted to be The Libertines,” he says.

“You’d get bands coming down from Scotland or from Newcastle, or from down south, and every single one of them would try to put on some sort of weird Cockney accent.

“Every single band I watched from one week to the next, you could pretty much interchange some of their lyrics slightly, or they might be wearing slightly different Converse, but they’d pretty much be the same band.”

As Kingsley reveals, the band’s genesis was born of said distaste for the contemporary music scene, as well as a genuine passion for it. “I love watching live music, I love going to gigs, it’s everything I love about music in general, but we just found ourselves getting really bored of it.” For once, frustration lead to result, the band slowly started figuring out how to write songs.

Their first demos were written with the aid of a drum machine before they enlisted Phil to play for them, and Pop subsequently joined as their bassist. “He later admitted he couldn’t play, but he turned up with loads of noisy brightly coloured distortion pedals that seemed to fit in.”

The quartet have clearly come far and bonded as a unit in their five years together. All of them have since taken on the Chapman moniker, Ramones-style, and their chemistry is only helped by an especially active touring schedule. “We try to tour as much as we can, it’s the thing I enjoy the most about being in the band.

[We’re] not really that bothered about recording.”

Kingsley’s passion for live music helped the band to develop a serious work ethic and they have toured almost constantly independent of management.

“For the first couple of years, everything we did was powered via MySpace, we didn’t have a manager, we just managed ourselves, so without knowing too much about how social media works, we just made it up as

O-two can assure you The Chapman Family are not a cult we went along, sent out messages to pretty much every promoter in the country trying to get a gig.”

Although such self-sufficiency has clearly helped the band to evolve, it significantly slowed their attempts to record and distribute their music on a larger scale.

While the band are eager to tour, they had been quite slow to record their music. They have been together since 2006, yet their debut album, Burn Your Town,

+,%-.#/0.

12-3#.4%5670. %1.809-3:.

0;0-8#/2<=. $0.>2>.$93.

6%$0-0>.;29. &8(6940:.$0. >2><?#./9;0.9. @9<9=0-A.B0.

C53#.@9<9=0>. %5-307;03D.

has only just come out. “The first time we went into a recording studio is when we recorded our first single ‘Kids’, that was at the end of 2008.”

Despite their unfamiliarity with the studio, the excitement about the release of the album is palpable: “It’s been a massively long time coming for us, we’ve had quite a lot of bad luck and a lot of good luck at the same time”, explained Kingsley. “I think with us being so drastically unfashionable, in the UK particularly people just assumed we’d dropped off the radar, ‘cause we weren’t really gigging that much, but we were working quite hard behind the scene.”

The band were determined to create the absolute best they could during their time in the studio “We wanted to make sure our debut wasn’t half assed, what we put out was as good as we could do at the time.”

It surely helped that the band had been refining the sound for a long time before entering the studio. Their first big break was going on an NME-sponsored tour with La Roux, which exposed them to a large number of people. They then graduated to the summer festival circuit, which helped garner even more fans. Last year in between recording sessions for their album they played at the legendary SXSW festival in Austin, Texas.

Back during their formative years, the band accidentally coined a phrase that would haunt them in interviews and promotions later on in their career.

“When we started out, I didn’t really know how MySpace worked,” he recalls. “When I uploaded the first demo to it, I had to come up with a headline for the demo, I didn’t really know what to write, so I just put in: ‘We’re not a cult’, because I thought it sounded like a newspaper headline. Then we sort of jumped on the back of it and foolishly made T-shirts of it.”

For now, the notoriety has sustained them, but they will all likely be in the past soon enough.

Burn Your Town is out now.

&'()*

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

""

Quality control Ulrich and Heidi Lenffer of Cloud Control chat to Aoife Valentine about the impact of the internet, playing to industry execs and being siblings

!"#$%&'(#")!!

Games:

Trailer failure

The use of cinematic trailers, while enticing gamers, builds up expectation to unrealistic proportions, writes Matthew Jones

I

Contrary to their website bio, the band formed because of an impulse entry for a ‘Battle of the Bands’ competition

+,-.,/0,,1/%1/#%23/ )/#4516/7%3/80%2#/ 8/9,83/1%$:/81;/ <%.51=/%.,3/4,3,/ 5#->/?2>#/=%51=/#%/ >#83#/8@@/%.,3/8=851 going to start all over again, so we’ve really got prioritise finding writing spaces and times in between all the touring.”

Cloud Control also played SXSW last month in Austin, Texas, and they describe the experience. “I think it was more fun from a touristic point of view than from the point of a band having satisfying performances,” says Heidi. “There’s 2,000 bands and about as many venues. It’s really hard to get noticed if you’re a band with no profile over there, which we were. We had some pretty average shows, but we had a couple of really good ones as well. I think it’s an exciting atmosphere to be a part of for sure, and we loved Texas!”

It’s quite rare to see any criticism from bands about SXSW, as Ulrich explains: “You need to be there with a mandate, like someone has to be backing you, someone has to be really excited about you, whether it’s a blog, whether it’s a label, or the whole world in some cases. I mean it was good for us, we got to meet a whole bunch of people from labels, US labels and a whole bunch of people that we’d never met who are dealing with us overseas.”

He continues: “It’s different, we’re used to playing shows where you get a direct response, people are screaming and they come up and say we really enjoyed that, whereas here, some exec will go off and say quietly to his assistant: ‘Oh yeah that band was good, check them out and then let’s work on this’, which is not really an exciting result.” Heidi concludes: “You’re playing to industry professionals instead of fans, which is hard.”

The dynamic between the two is interesting. It’s clear they get on brilliantly, but it must affect the band as a whole in some capacity? “I think we hold this band together to be honest, and no one’s here to defy me on that,” jokes Heidi. “We’re a bit of a force to be reckoned with.

“Sometimes it can get a bit much, but sometimes Al and Jeremy can get a bit much, they’re like brothers themselves. It’s really great to travel around with part of your family, it’s good.” She turns to Ulrich and jokes: “You’re okay” to which he responds: “You’re alright.”Touching, really.

Bliss Release is out on May 20th.

&'()*

!"#$%

’ll be frank, I’m a gamer, a geek. In fact, I’m so much of an n3rd that I spell it with a ‘3’. As such, I tend to get a bit excited whenever there is word of a new game in the pipeline. But when the news is accompanied by a trailer of excessive proportions, I get a bit lost in the moment.

Therefore, on March 3rd, when the trailer for Dead Island was released, I was more than a little excited. If you have not seen this trailer, go online and look it up, that is of course, after you finish this article.

This trailer is so packed full of cinematographic goodness that within a week, there was rumours of a movie deal in the works. Since then, the producers, Deep Silver, has been in talks. Despite rumours to the contrary, the rights to the movie are still very much up for grabs, with several parties apparently interested in making a deal.

Shortly before this announcement however, the next in the well-established Elder Scrolls series, Skyrim, was announced. No fancy trailers here, just some close ups of a statue and an old man doing a bit of narration.

Yet why are there almost as many internet hits for an unknown game?

That bloody trailer. The sheer amount of hype for

A

s is the norm these days, the internet is where Sydney’s Cloud Control have come to get early recognition and it’s a forum they’re huge advocates of. While the blogosphere helps them to discover music they would have never heard of, it’s also allowing people to discover Cloud Control worldwide.

Ulrich Lenffer, the band’s drummer, explains: “It just lets people hear about you in like Albania and Serbia, that would have absolutely no idea who we were and don’t even know where Sydney is and yet they can still hear about us.”

Similarly, his sister Heidi (keyboard and vocals) says: “The idea is that you try and let people discover [your music]. Blogs let people feel like they’re discovering things for themselves still, which is important. I guess because music is such a personal thing, you don’t want to feel like you’ve been forced to appreciate a band. The internet is a bit of an adventure world and you can still poke around and stumble across things. I get kicks out of it.”

The Lenffer siblings met with vocalist Alistair Wright and bassist Jeremy Kelshaw in school. However, they didn’t form a band until Heidi entered a ‘Battle of the Bands’ competition in university, on a whim, which they subsequently went on to win having quickly thrown together four songs.

The true story is contrary to the one told by the website’s band biography, which says they met in the green room at rehearsals for a Pirates of the Penzance gig.

Heidi laughs: “Yep, fictional. Look, I like a bit of creative writing and someone told me to go for it with the band bio. People told me that no one takes band bios seriously on the internet, so I put them to the test.”

Over half a decade later, the band have released a selftitled EP and their debut album, Bliss Release, garnered a string of nominations and awards. Bliss Release won last month’s Australian Music Prize and just last week, the band permanently relocated to the UK, in advance of their UK and Irish headline tour. With such a hectic touring schedule ahead and plans to play festivals all summer, is there room for a new album?

“Definitely. We don’t have any recording dates locked in.” At this point Ulrich interjects with a huffy: “We haven’t written any songs!” but Heidi continues: “We definitely need to write. We’ve been on tour I think for about a year now, and moving over here, it’s just

*

this game is unreal. The short movie, because it really is a movie, gives no details about the game and this led to a massive amount of speculation about the nature of the story, who the kick-ass father is and when it will be released.

Recently however, it has been revealed that the game may indeed be a Dead Rising clone, focused on action and adventure, instead of the tense, emotional story that we were promised.

This is a valid tactic though. It worked on me after all; I’ve gotten so invested in this game that I simply have to buy it to find out if it will be as good as I hope.

This has happened before after all. Let’s take Halo as an example; its ‘Believe’ advertising campaign promised us a far more epic story than was delivered. Yet the Halo 3 launch was, without doubt, one of the biggest multimedia events of all time, with well over one million copies of the game pre-sold during the campaign.

These methods are fast becoming the norm with computer games. Developers will always over hype their product before release, and unfortunately for people such as myself, we get sucked into it. If Dead Island delivers on what its trailer promises, it will break the normal trend. Alternatively, it could easily become yet another example of a game trailer creating hype that it can’t possibly live up to.

Behind the mask M

ajora’s mask is one of the forgotten gems of the Zelda series. This game ranks not only among the best of its series, but among the best games ever made. It’s unfortunate that the game is constantly overshadowed by Ocarina of Time, which is being re-released for the 3DS this year because of its popularity. brilliance of Majora’s Mask arises from the innovative plot and superb gameplay mechanics. Link, the hero of the series, finds himself in Termina, a twisted mirror-image of Hyrule where essentially, he must endure a darker version of Groundhog Day. Link has three days to prevent the demonic Majora’s Mask from crashing the moon into the earth and destroying all life in Termina.

Each of the 72 hours equates roughly to a minute of playtime, giving the player about an hour to save the world. If you fail to do so, you have to travel back in time to the first day and live through it again; though each time you’ll gain new knowledge and some items such as masks and weapons carry over with you.

The three-day mechanic of the game works fantastically, as the tangible passage of time adds to the experience. As the sinister moon looms ever closer, the background music grows progressively more er-

A large number of game trailers tend to promise the world, yet fail to live up to the expectation created. Will Dead Island (above) be an exception to this rule?

Ocarina of Time may be the most famous Zelda game released, but Steven Balbirnie highlights its oft-forgotten successor, Majora’s Mask

ratic, while the behaviour of characters shifts noticeably with some beginning to flee their homes.

What’s also excellent about this mechanic is that it allows for events taking place concurrently throughout the world. Unlike many other games, events take place whether or not you witness them with nonplayable characters getting on with their lives rather than eternally standing in one spot and repeating the same statement every time they speak to you.

Aside from the timeline feature, the other novel aspect of the game is the masks. There are over 20 masks to obtain throughout the game with their functions ranging from the essential to the bizarre. For example, one mask has the useful ability of increasing Link’s speed while another solely allows you to listen to an old lady’s stories without falling asleep.

However, the best masks are those which allow Link to transform into some of the creatures of the series – the Deku Scrubs, Gorons and Zoras. Each race has its own unique abilities introducing a fresh dynamic to the series as Link must transform himself to tackle the various challenges he encounters in his quest.

Essentially, Majora’s Mask retains all of the best aspects of the series while staying innovative. If you have a Wii, then make sure to download this treasure from the Virtual Console channel.

While putting some gamers off when released, Majora’s Mask 72-hour timeline makes the game a tighter and more focused experience

&'()*+',-*)./,/0/1)&

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

Eyes on the prize

*

"*

!"#$%&'(#")!!

&'()*

!"#$%

Write Like Apes

Multi award-loser Emer Sugrue whinges about Student Media Awards

In their final O-two column, Fight Like Apes give their thanks to you, the reader and hope to keep you satisfied with a quick quiz. There are prizes, apparently

Songs to emigrate to With his suitcase packed and a plane ticket to New Zealand in his pocket, Joe Munnelly gives us his soundtrack for leaving the country…if he was leaving the country ‘SO LONG, FAREWELL’ – SOUND OF MUSIC

The Smedias is like every awards ceremony you ever feasted your eyes on: incredibly boring

I

t’s April and the summer is finally starting to poke its burny fingers through the veil of Irish cloud.

All week, students have been flinging themselves on the grass beside the lake like dying bumblebees, complaining about deadlines and watching naked mentalists. But it’s also the time of year where everyone in the media starts patting themselves on the back and passing around shiny trinkets in honour of the jobs they are already paid to do.

It seems to be a uniquely media-based endeavour – you never hear of awards for computer programmers: “Least error-filled code of the year” or “Most work done while simultaneously playing World of Warcraft”. Maybe a stable job and money is enough. We in student media however have no such prospects, with at best an Arts degree and no social life under our belt when we eventually leave the sheltered womb of full-time education, so to make it seem somewhat worthwhile, we have an awards do.

Last Wednesday was the annual Student Media Awards (Smedias) and we at The University Observer got all dolled up and ready to drink ourselves to oblivion. If you have never been to an awards ceremony, here is a trade secret: They are extremely boring.

Even when you are up for an award yourself you spend the night checking your watch and looking longingly at the bar. The glamour quickly fades as you realise you will spend the next few hours clapping while someone reads a list of names you’ve never heard of. I can only imagine how soul destroying something like the Oscars is for the audience, I have never made it past the halfway point of

the show and that was with the benefits of a comfy chair and regular tea breaks.

Considering half the celebs haven’t eaten for several days beforehand, I wonder why they don’t just call in sick and post some pictures of themselves standing on their own carpet. They’re millionaires, they can afford a red one.

One serious disadvantage the Smedias have, over other awards, is that you have no idea who the other people are, or what they’ve done. With the exception of the winning short film (a hilarious Adam and Eve date rape scenario...it made more sense and less offence in context) we didn’t get to see or read anything and were denied a wealth of snark.

With the Oscars, you can revel in indignation when a terrible film wins something and shout loudly at the screen how that other film had much more poignancy and boobs but with the Smedias, you are just left to assume that everyone’s work was about the holocaust. If America has taught me one thing, it’s that Nazis mean prizes. But that’s not fair, America has taught me lots of things, like how to add bacon and luminous cheese to everything.

The Smedias was hosted again this year by Dáithí Ó Sé. Oh Dáithí, you silly mess you. During last year’s awards, I think it would be fair to say he was a bit of a state. He and co-host Kathryn Thomas were...how do I put this delicately...merry? Kathryn swayed and giggled, while Dáithí rambled on and complimented anything with a uterus.

After the ceremony, he confided that he had drunk

two bottles of wine for lunch, slept through rehearsal and woken up about an hour after he was supposed to arrive. Considering he actually told me that, the situation clearly hadn’t improved over the intervening hours.

This year, they seemed to have learned their lesson; they blasted through the nominations at dazzling speed. There were no anecdotes, no speeches and no horrible comedians. No good comedians either, the speed at which the event took place was astounding.

They just read the names and blasted music as the winner walked up to collect their prize, drowning out our plaintive cries of “fuck you”.

Maybe next year they can save the money and just post the list of winners on the door of Mansion House.

Before we knew what happened or could even start weeping, we were out the door and on the way to the after party.

It was an incredibly fun night in the end, lots of drinking, dancing and fisticuffs with The College Tribune. Even though The University Observer didn’t get as many much as we’d hoped, three were won for from the main paper (You know, O-two’s wrapper, it has politics on it).

Whatever our success with awards, after a year of hard work and tirelessly putting together a free newspaper for the students of UCD, maybe you can argue that really, we’re all winners. But that night I lost two awards, my digital camera and at around 3am, my dignity. *Sigh* maybe next year.

In her next column, Emer talks about the holocaust.

Personally, I hate musicals, but you have to admit this classic has some catchy tunes that still have thousands lining up to pack the theatre. This song will have you leaving over-dramatically and, if you’re lucky, with maybe a tear or two.

‘GOODBYE MY LOVER’ – JAMES BLUNT Self-explanatory, but this song, although torturously lovey-dovey will see fit that your one true love leaves knowing how devastated you will be after they’re gone. Whether this devastation is from their leaving or being subjected to this song is open to debate.

‘GOODBYE’ – MARY HOPKINS I don’t know who she is either but ‘Goodbye’ was written by Paul McCartney and was released in March 1969. The Beatles never officially released it, but Mary made it No 2 in the UK singles chart. I can imagine it now – the blond bombshell waving as you weep with all dignity lost, screaming for her to come back – ah, fatal love.

‘GOODBYE’ – KE$HA This one will surprise you – you can actually hear her real voice. Well, at least I think so. Without the autotune, the bass and beat Ke$ha actually sings. It’s not my cup of tea, but at least she’s not brushing her teeth with a bottle of Jack in this one.

‘HIGHWAY TO HELL’ – AC/DC Released in July 1979, ‘Highway to Hell’ was AC/ DC’s fifth international studio album and the title track is an awesome tune, which will have you accelerating right outta here.

‘LEAVING ON A JET PLANE’ – JOHN DENVER

Originally written by Denver, ‘Leaving on a Jet Plane’ was made a hit in 1969 when Peter, Paul and Mary released it as a single. Understandably cringeworthy, but a must when you’re taking off to pastures new.

‘LAND DOWN UNDER’ – MEN AT WORK I seriously doubt you haven’t heard this song. Released in 1981 on the debut album Business as Usual, the song ‘Down Under’ went No 1 in both the American, British and Australian charts. For anyone heading to the land down under, you won’t be the only one, I can assure you.

‘ON MY WAY’ – DISNEY’S ‘BROTHER BEAR’ Written by Phil Collins, ‘On My Way’ was released in 2003 as a soundtrack for the Disney animation ‘Brother Bear’. As it’s a Disney song, it’s an upbeat tune that’s perfect for the journey that lies ahead – did I mention it was from Disney?

‘GOODBYE’ – SPICE GIRLS Please don’t pretend you don’t know the song, it’s easier that way.

“TAKE ME HOME, COUNTRY ROADS’ – JOHN DENVER Dedicated to West Virginia, ‘Country Roads’ was released in 1971 and is one of Denver’s most popular and well-known songs. I’d be surprised if you haven’t heard it and trust me, you won’t resist singing along.

‘ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT’ – UNKNOWN The only song that offers you step-by-step instructions for travelling – step one: have a boat, step two: row the boat, step three: go down the stream and step four: try to be happy about it. Let’s face it; plane tickets are expensive when you’re on a tight budget.

Hi you. This is our last column with The University Observer. We hope we have kept your ears open and your pants poised. We’re going on tour this weekend and the good news is we have secured 24 Solpadeine for the journey.

Seeing as we’re not going to be talking to you for a while anyway, we were thinking we should tell you some stuff that we’ve been afraid to tell you before.

Whoever guesses the most correct answers in our game of ‘Who done that?’ wins a date with all of us after a gig for 25 minutes. Send your answers to fightlikeapes@gmail.com. Go! 1) One of us has athlete’s foot.

2) Two of us have knocked down old-aged pensioners.

3) One of us fled the scene of these crimes.

4) One of us has a vagina.

5) One of us pooed our pants during the recording of our second album.

6) One of us used to play with Dire Straits.

7) One of us coached a teenage girls basketball team.

8) Two of us had life long dreams of joining the Billy Barry kids.

9) One of us joined a knock off version.

10) One of us worked at the pick ‘n’ mix at the cinema.

11) One of us isn’t entirely sure what we did in college.

12) One of us studied agricultural science & did an entire project on a potato.

13) One of us kissed our cousin by accident.

14) One of us has diplomatic immunity by accident.

15) One of us owns a BMX. 16) One of us passed our driving test the first time.

17) One of us passed it the second time.

18) It only took one of us five attempts.

19) One of us claims to be allergic to salad.

20) One of us was accused of urinating in the corner another band member’s kitchen by said member’s parents.

21) One of us was once told very sternly to ‘calm down’ during sexual intercourse.

We feel much better for telling you all these things about us. We miss you and the way you would listen and never judge. Our heads hurt now.

If all goes to plan, we will see you at the UCD Ball this month. We hope it’s very good. So far we’ve received nothing from any of you for our birthdays so if you have anything you’d like us to have, please bring it to the ball.

Thanks, MK, Jamie, Lee

!"#$%

&'()*

!"#$%&'(#")!!

"*

Festive friction

With both Oxegen and Electric Picnic to look forward to this summer, Sophie Lioe and George Morahan argue which is the more worthy way to spend your hard-earned cash

*

!"#$%&'(#")!!

&'()*+&),

!"#$%

Divine Liffey divide Indie writer and director, Mark O’Connor, speaks to Ryan Mackenzie about his latest project, working with Damien Dempsey and advice for young filmmakers

While Oxegen remains the higher profile event, Electric Picnic’s status has grown considerably in recent years

Electric Picnic

W

ith this year’s remarkable lineup, Electric Picnic has proven itself to be Ireland’s true alternative festival. Since its inception in 2004, the event has developed a comfortable little niche for itself in the Irish music calendar.

What started out as an obscure one-day event has rapidly spread across a three-day weekend, and is now a legitimate contender for Oxegen’s crown as Ireland’s biggest and best festival. However, it’s an entirely different beast to that Punchestown bash, and for those seeking something beyond the 2fm playlist, Electric Picnic is the festival for you this summer.

One term that perfectly encapsulates this year’s line up is strength in depth. Whilst the top of the bill is jaw droppingly impressive, there are many delights to be discovered at its foot.

For instance, we have a trio of Choice Prize nominees – Adebisi Shank, O Emperor and the Cast of Cheers – giving a timely reminder of the wealth of young Irish talent about and acts such as The Walkmen and Twin Shadow from across the pond.

In the cases of Lisbon and Forget, the two Brooklynite bands have respectively produced a couple of the past year’s better albums, and will be assured of a warm reception.

Micah P Hinson is sure to be an incendiary figure this year.

The Texan folk singer’s post-Obama material has spiritually anointed him the musical wing of the Tea Party. He will be a talking point, to say the least.

The middle order presents a diverse range of acts well matched to a lazy, sunny afternoon spent lying on the grass, drink in hand. DJ Shadow and Flying Lotus will provide some memorable mixes, and are not to be missed, while Reggae legends Jimmy Cliff and Toots & the Maytals are sure to bring a smile to your face. And for those with energy for dancing, The Go! Team will be endowed with ample funkiness to go around.

Though Interpol have something to prove after the muted reception that awaited their self-titled fourth album and the departure of bassist – and all-round Renaissance man – Carlos D, we can be sure of them being one of the weekend’s high points. The Chemical Brothers will not disappoint; an audio-visual feast is virtually guaranteed and a revitalised PJ Harvey will bring her latest album, Let England Shake, to life, in what will be one of this year’s most anticipated sets.

Finally, the prospective returns of a newly reformed Pulp and Canadian titans, Arcade Fire, to Irish shores have left O-two salivating. Arcade Fire are coming to the end of their world tour in support of The Suburbs. The triumphant energy surrounding the Montreal eight-piece combined with the excitement for the revival of Jarvis Cocker’s Britpop legends is going to make Electric Picnic 2011 something unforgettable.

Electric Picnic 2011 takes place from September 2nd-4th at Stradbally Hall, Co. Laois. Weekend tickets are €240, Sunday day tickets are €99.50.

- George Morahan

Oxegen

F

oo Fighters, The Strokes and My Chemical Romance playing alongside Swedish House Mafia, Bloody Beetroots and Crystal Castles? Only at Oxegen 2011. This year, the organisers have managed to secure one of the most impressive and varied lineups in recent years. You could be a glow-paint splattered rave enthusiast or an overgrown emo kid and you’d still manage to find exactly what you’re looking for at this year’s festival, which takes place, as usual, at Punchestown Racecourse in Naas from July 8-10th.

There has been a slight reversion back towards more traditional guitar acts, such as the veteran likes of Arctic Monkeys and Coldplay after Eminem and Jay-Z significantly raised the hip-hop presence at the top of last year’s bill. However, the urban influence of recent years hasn’t been entirely lost, with artists such as Tine Tempah, Bruno

Mars and the Black Eyed Peas still holding strong.

Relative newcomers from across the musical spectrum are also well represented. Recent breakthrough acts such as Two Door Cinema Club and Jessie J, who have only just exploded into the musical conscience of those even vaguely attuned to today’s pop scene, are sure to be welcomed by a typically fervent crowd.

Another new name, which cannot be ignored, is UCD’s very own Madisun. After successfully gigging around the Dublin circuit, the band have built up quite a following and were only recently named the winners of Captain America’s Battle of the Bands. The former Campus Band interviewees are showing signs of real potential; who knows what Oxegen could bring. This time next year they could have made their way from the back pages, to gracing the front cover of the O-two.

Despite the undoubtedly strong lineup, there has been some controversy over the absence of Blink 182. Originally billed as a headliner, and one which would be the sole reason to attend Oxegen for many a ticketholder, their unexplained disappearance from the confirmed lineup is disappointing to say the least. There is speculation that they have cancelled all of their summer tour, which include a number of UK dates, but these rumours are as yet unconfirmed.

On a more positive note, Oxegen-goers can look forward to enjoying home grown talent such as The Script, Fight Like Apes and Imelda May. Judging by The Script’s epic performance at Oxegen 2009, the crowds like nothing more than waving a few tricolours and being told that we were the reason behind everything that band has achieved. It’s nice to be loved.

So for the Oxegen virgin or veteran, this year promises to be an unforgettable one; so be sure to bring enough beer, perhaps some sunscreen, definitely a pair of wellies and enjoy.

Tickets for Oxygen can be bought for €99.50 for a day ticket, €199.50 for a three-day ticket and €244.50 for a four-day camping ticket.

- Sophie Lioe

Between The Canals tells the story of a group of Northside inner city friends during St Patrick’s Day

F

or a long time, inner city Dublin has been the focal point of the Irish film industry. Hits such as Intermission, The Commitments and Adam and Paul demonstrate the intrigue and attraction of this theme, something Between the Canals writer and director Mark O’Connor no doubt took into consideration when creating his latest project.

Set in a quintessential inner-city Dublin borough, Between the Canals follows the journey of three best friends from Sheriff Street over the course of St Patrick’s Day. The film, however, is by no means a romanticised interpretation of Ireland’s famous national holiday, quite the opposite in fact.

Marred by the drug-infested crime world that surrounds them, the three friends are forced to fend off the threats of rival gangs and the temptation of a life of crime amid the ever-growing peril of poverty. It is, in essence, a story of friendship.

While speaking to O’Connor, it becomes clear that realism was undoubtedly his motive for the movie. He speaks about how that he wanted to “make something that was real to the area and give a voice to the people” and hinted that his own personal experiences prompted many of the scenes and characters. He feels that a crime drama set in the nation’s capital was an avenue yet to be explored by other Irish films, and saw Between the Canals as the perfect movie to fill the gap.

In the pursuit of obtaining untainted believability, the young director took an unorthodox approach by seeking the use of amateur actors for leading roles. His reasoning was to avoid the bad habits actors often pick up when they’re in acting schools.

O’Connor believes that directing novice actors enabled him to “bring something out [of them] that’s completely natural and completely real, so it feels like a true performance”. In fact, some of the actors were even discovered on the street, after the process of auditions proved to be fruitless for the director.

One member of the cast was not plucked from obscurity though. Irish singer-songwriter, Damien Dempsey, plays Paul Chambers, a Dublin crime boss in his acting debut. While at first seeming to be a rather bizarre addition to a cast of unknowns, O’Connor explains that it was the musician’s own working-class background that spurred him to join the project.

The director also suggests that Dempsey might have what it takes to forge a bright future in the film industry, remarking: “Damien has intensity, on-stage presence and openness. You can work with him and he’s definitely got the ability.”

The project was incredibly low budget, which was ironic in keeping with O’Connor’s desire for authenticity. On a meagre quota of €100,000, filming was cut to only twelve days and actors were put under intense pressure to meet the rigorous deadline.

The film’s funding came from the Irish Film Board (IFB), of whom, despite their limited financial input, O’Connor speaks very positively of: “The Irish Film Board were great. They were very positive towards the project and they took a chance with a first-time feature writer/director,” he says, adding: “I loved working with them.”

It would seem that the IFB are the best source for any aspiring filmmakers, according to O’Connor. This being

his first feature-length film and having made various short films in the past, the young director was new to many of the tasks and responsibilities involved in the process.

What’s more, O’Connor believes he has found his style and “something that interests [him] the most”, hinting that he intends to stick with the genre. His next project involves closely working with the travelling community, for which he will no doubt form a close parallel with his approach to Between the Canals.

For students hoping to get into the filmmaking industry, O’Connor’s advice is simply: persistence and practice. He describes the earliest stages of his career in the business as “a nightmare”, having spent ten years “working as a runner and trying to get work”, and implored perseverance.

While riding the inevitable struggle which greats any newcomer to the industry, O’Connor suggests that aspiring directors should “make as much stuff as they can” and hopeful writers should “write everyday”, all the while on the lookout for “people who take their craft seriously”.

It is clear that Mark O’Connor is passionate about the film industry. Often tainted by one-dimensional romantic comedies and so-called ‘Popcorn Movies’, the medium of cinema sometimes falls victim to criticism. It is, however, a powerful source of art and expression and O’Connor has made wonderful use of these expressive capabilities in his first feature length film, which cleverly captures the arduous world of inner-city Dublin, while also delivering an intriguing story.

Between the Canals is out now

&'()*+

!"#$%

Dear Fadora, I, like every right thinking UCD student, have been following your hilarious and thought-provoking column over the last year. I believe I speak unanimously when I say it has been the best sex column ever, particularly in issue two, when you actually talked about sex.

I guess my question is: how can I be more like you?

Yours, Jon Hozier-Byrne Good evening Jon, This is probably the question I, unsurprisingly, get asked most often. The mystery of Fadora McSexypants is a riddle, wrapped in an enigma, basted with a paradox and served accompanied with a general feeling of unease. So,

in order to clarify, the often-disputed events of my life, I’ve decided to tell you a little about myself.

I was born, as is customary, and quickly began making a name for myself across the playgrounds of Tijuana, Mexico. My mother, Consuela McSexypants, named me after the famous hat, because according to local legend, I was born wearing one.

I was educated in the arts of etiquette, social graces, and geography. I consumed new knowledge voraciously, and became an avid enthusiast in the fields of both ladylike comportment and coastal erosion.

These happy days were not to last however. During the height of WWII, I was sold to a small farm in California, where I’d live out the next decade as bar-wench, farmwench, and occasional bench-wench. After years of serious, gritty wenching, I set off to wench my way across

Mystic Mittens

!"#$%&'(#")!!

*

the country.

There were some pretty glorious adventures in the following years. In 1956, I attended Woodstock, but no one else arrived until many years afterwards. While on holiday in Texas in 1963, I was cleaning my rifle on a grassy knoll when it accidentally discharged. The noise wrecked my head.

I spent the rest of the decade in a VW van travelling around with a group of drug addicts solving mysteries.

I sold my life story to Hannah Barbara, and with all my sweet Scooby Doo money, went on a bender until 2007.

After that, I decided it was time to get my life in order.

Like anyone who’s angry at the world for no real reason, and is desperately seeking validation, and genuinely believes they’re cleverer than they are, I became a mature student in UCD. My college life has been nothing short of revolutionary – I was the one who changed the name of the Forum to the ‘Centre Bar’, I was the cause of that whole rumour about the toilets under Arts, and I invented Chris Wong.

In short, there is no easy way to be like me. All I can suggest is that you are true to yourself, to your heart, and to your trousers. Try and make women more ladylike, and men more gentlemanly. Insist your man wear suits at every occasion, and insist your lady throws out HJs like Haribo on Fresher’s Week. If you can do all this and really piss off a bunch of feminists, you’ll be doing alright.

Thank you to everyone who’s read my column over the past year, thank you to everyone who’s written in and sought my sexy wisdom, and always, always remember, don’t stop, never give up, hold your head high and reach the top – let the world see what you have got, bring it all back to you (bring it all back now).

Love and Cuddles, Fadora McSexypants, BA, PhD, TTFN. Next week, Fadora won’t be up to much.

OPHIUCHUS

(November 30 – December 17)

Mittens is still struggling to completely accepts you into the Zodiac clique.

With you students being starved of Mittens’ sage advice for the next couple of months, M&M looks at the constellations and sees what’s in store

ARIES (April 19 – May 13) That J2 to Mexico to work, as a cleaner will see you bring back more than you bargained for.

FYI, abortions are cheaper in the British Channel, so just wait until you’re home.

TAURUS

(May 14 – June 21) You’ve already paid for the flights to Fukushima and admittedly the hotel that you booked may not exist anymore, but why let some flooding and isotopes put you off?

GEMINI

(June 22 – July 20) Gemini’s are habitual stayat-homers for the summer months and rarely commit to travelling further than the nearest store that sells Tesco vodka.

CANCER

(July 21 – August 10) You and Rebecca Black share the same star sign. You couldn’t go far wrong by living for every Friday like she does.

LEO

(August 11 – September 16) It’s truly amazing to think that over the summer you’ll become a millionaire for writing the hit pop song of the summer, but by September 8th you won’t be able to afford SU coffee.

VIRGO

(September 17 – October 30) On the face of it, inter-railing looks like great fun. See lots of cities, meet lots of people, have fun with your friends, sleep in public parks, lose a finger, get sold as a sex slave…

LIBRA

SAGITTARIUS (December 18 – January 20) “Ching Chong Ling Long Ting Tong” should be enough lingo to make sure you get by in Asia.

CAPRICORN (January 21 – February 16) Sharing is caring, so bogarting the toilet paper at that in the Romanian youth hostel to make a mummy suit will not earn you friends.

AQUARIUS

(October 31 – November 23) Libras are infamous for their sense of adventure – a trait that often lands them in troubled waters, emphasis on the water.

(February 17 – March 11) As Venus moves into a new moon, so your migration will cause a period of change too.

Ha… period! Gross.

SCORPIO

PISCES

(November 24 - November 29) You will go in search of the famous beach in Thailand. Unfortunately, Leonardo DiCaprio won’t be there, but the drug dealers with guns will be.

(March 12 – April 18) Ditch the bitch during your travels. Draw in the anchor for your Eastern European sex binge.

"*

!"#$%&'(#")!!

&'()*

!"#$%

CD reviews Album of the fortnight

Artist: Tune-Yards Album: whokill

!"!"!"!"

Artist: Friendly Fires Album: Pala

!"!"!"!"!

Pala is the second album from Friendly Fires, following up on their Mercury nominated self-titled debut. Whilst many bands seem to struggle with second album syndrome, this has clearly not been the case for Friendly Fires. This is the record of a band with utter self-confidence and at the peak of their powers.

Pala strikes a perfect balance between indie and dance, and the record fits together very well with no songs seeming out of place. The first track, ‘Live Those Days Tonight’ is a fantastic opener and a real floor-filling club tune. It’s a great song and sets the tone for the rest of the album.

‘Hawaiian Air’ has quite a positive, summery feel to it and the album’s title track also makes perfect listening for a laidback, sunny day. Pala also closes very nicely, with the final track, ‘Helpless’, containing elements reminiscent of some of the best dance music from the 90s. It should make for some excellent live performances on the festival circuit.

In a Nutshell: An ideal summer soundtrack.

- Steven Balbirnie

Just over a year ago, Dirty Projectors played an impressive show to a packed audience in Whelan’s.

Yet despite the excellence of their performance, it was not the Brooklyn-based band that everyone was raving about. Instead it was Merrill Garbus (aka Tune-Yards); with her idiosyncratic blend of folk-cum-afrobeat-cum-yodelling, that left an indelible mark on the evening. w h o k i l l represents a maturing of her sound, following her intermittently brilliant but badly produced debut, Bird-Brains. Yet the eccentricity and brilliance remain, as she manages to temper her excesses into a more coherent, crisp-sounding second album.

Given the sense of musical chaos and countless idiosyncrasies that permeate album highlights such as ‘Powa’, ‘Bizness’ and ‘Killa’, the obvious comparison is to other alluringly strange female solo artists like Bjork and Kate Bush.

Nonetheless, the hip-hop tinge to her sound, coupled with her ability to play an assortment of instruments equally adeptly, means the potential female equivalent to Beck is a more apt comparison.

- Paul Fennessy Artist: Bell X1 Album: Bloodless Coup

!"!"!"

On their fifth album, Bloodless Coup, Bell X1 have uncovered some dusty melodies that breathe with a fresh undertone of rhythmic electro beats. The stripped back opening track, ‘Hey Anna Lena’, makes a change to the expected festival-friendly choruses associated with the Kildare band.

Bloodless Coup cuts deep, immersing the listener in its laidback aura and alternates its pace with many noticeably lengthy tracks. Tracks such as ‘Nightwatchmen’ and ‘Sugar High’ manage to whisk your mind away and highlight the textural strengths of Paul Noonan’s voice.

‘Velcro’ is the most vibrant track on the album, offering lyrical insight into romantic obsession so effectively that the line “I’ll be your Velcro” somehow works. O-two is sure that after repeated radio plays, it will seem as profound.

In a Nutshell: Sit back, relax and let it slowly win you over.

- Laura Brennan

Artist: Yngve & The Innocent Album: Draw a Line

!"!"!"!

Draw a Line is the second EP to come from Irish-raised, London-based Yngve and the Innocent. At only two tracks, it’s a brief-yetrewarding listen that promises much for this young band’s future.

The opening bars of ‘Draw a Line’ recall Jack Savoretti and Damien Rice, but once the saloon-inspired piano line and vocals are introduced, it’s Johnny Cash that comes to mind. The harmonies that infiltrate the chorus are nothing short of angelic – akin to June Carter accompanying Yngve’s Johnny.

Of the two songs, it’s not the mellow and slightly more upbeat title track, but the darker ‘Changing Tracks’ that stands out. With angst-ridden lyrics, and Ned Cartwright’s persistent piano echoing the vocals, it’s a truly spectacular piece.

Hopefully it won’t be long before they finally release their first album because, with an EP like this, it’s definitely something to be anticipated.

In a Nutshell: Super awesome.

- Katie Hughes

Artist: Britney Spears Album: Femme Fatale

!"!"!"

Britney Spears may be forever associated with her teen-pop roots, but her seventh studio album, Femme Fatale, audaciously attempts to change these perceptions through a mish-mash of musical flavours, from dubstep (‘Hold It Against Me’) to Euro dance (‘Till The World Ends’).

Everyone knows that Spears isn’t revered for her vocal ability and by the sound of Femme Fatale, so do her producers. Every song has been treated with auto-tune to the point that anyone could be singing. The Will.I.Am-produced ‘Big Fat Bass’ only hints at being a Spears tune with a few of her trademark moans.

Femme Fatale is a triumph for style over substance. While Britney will win few new fans over with this album, I’m sure everyone will be found dancing to it in Coppers.

In a Nutshell: More auto-tuned than Rebecca Black, but the perfect album for a power walk into college.

-Kieran Murphy

&!!'()('*+,-

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

"*

Life’s a picnic

With the days getting longer and warmer, Elaine Laverty gives us the guide to summer dining

F

Homemade Lemonade

Keep this recipe new and interesting by substituting two of the lemons for two limes or two oranges as take your fancy.

Serves 8: 225g sugar 300ml water Freshly squeezed juice of 4 lemons 800ml sparkling or still water Fresh raspberries, strawberries or sprigs of mint (optional) First you must make a sugar syrup by combining the first lot of water with the sugar in a small saucepan. Dissolve the sugar in the water by stirring over a low heat. When all the granules of sugar have disappeared, bring to the boil and boil for 2 minutes. Leave to cool and refrigerate (this will keep for months in the fridge).

When ready to make your lemonade, combine the lemon juice with the sugar syrup and remaining water. Serve in a large jug with a few raspberries, chopped up strawberries or mint sprigs, if desired and plenty of ice. Alternatively keep cool with an icepack if bringing on location. This will keep in the fridge for a day or two.

!"#$%&'(#")!!

&'()

!"#$%

We at O-two believe in social, gender and racial equality: Anna Burzlaff hates EVERYONE who talks in the library

Before you face into three months of social ignorance, Alison Lee gives the last word in what’s hot and what’s not

Spanish tortilla (frittata)

Again this is a recipe that can be altered to your liking. Cubes of cheese and bacon lardoons work particularly well.

Serves 6-8: Olive oil 8 eggs, beaten together in a large bowl with salt and pepper 2 large Spanish onions, sliced 200-300g potatoes, peeled and diced if large or halved if baby new (leftovers are even better) Preheat the oven to 170, or grill on high. Heat a few glugs of olive oil in a medium frying pan. Slowly fry the onions over a low heat for about 15 mins or until soft. Then add the potatoes to the pan and raise the heat to medium (you may need to add more olive oil at this stage). If the potatoes are already cooked they just need to be quickly warmed through and crisped up. Otherwise cook for a further 15 mins till cooked through.

Tip the eggs over the pan (keeping the heat on medium and cook for 5 mins. There is no need to stir the mixture but make sure that the onions and potatoes are evenly dispersed. Finally, transfer to a hot oven or grill for a further 5 mins, or until firm and set in the centre. When cooked run around the edge of the pan with a sharp knife and tip onto a large plate. This can be eaten immediately but is even more delicious eaten cold with a simple green salad.

urrounded by figures from Aristotle to Hemingway, instilled with the ideas of Sartre and Derrida, our library and lecture theatres could undoubtedly be the fountain of all our worldly wisdom. Why is it then that in these sanctums of thought, I am inadvertently privy to the inner workings of the person’s next to me weekend, lunch, or nauseating relationship with Deco; the rugby player that never seems to text back, even though the girl “like reeeally likes him”.

In recent times, I have found these safe havens of knowledge inexcusably assaulted the most annoying of the annoying, mindless talking. A trip to the library has now become a game of mathematical probability based on who is the least likely to embark on a conversation with their neighbour midway through my study session. The stress of exams and essays is far surpassed by the steady rise of passive aggression as I listen to Tweedledum and Tweedledee discuss their unassailable indignation that “that bird” at d|two wouldn’t put out last night.

Worse still is the steady drone of whispers during lectures. I cannot help but wonder at the thought process when someone decides that talking during a lecture is somehow more beneficial than talking outside. I do not care what you’re wearing to Tripod tonight, nor do I care how much of a bitch Susie’s being since she got with

Luke.

After around 20 minutes my head is spinning with questions: why did Hitler invade Poland?

What are the results of colonialism? Why did Mike tell Krista she looked fat last night? It takes a huge amount of restraint on my part not to spin around and embark on a frenzied rant not dissimilar to Robert De Niro circa Taxi Driver.

Certainly topics such as Deco’s inability to text back or Krista’s alarming weight gain are topics worth discussing, however they are topics worth discussing privately. They are topics worth discussing without the theories of postmodernism spouted in the background.

In many ways, I admire the audacity of such people to think that in a library where you can hear a pin drop, their chat is somehow beyond the realm of the audible, or that other people are happy to sit and enjoy their tales of inebriation and rejection.

I am not advocating that libraries or lecture theatres become monastic, where the utterance of a single word results in expulsion, but I am begging, pleading, that any conversation longer than “Hi” or “What question are you answering?” is simply postponed until the only people that can judge your weekend antics are those you confide in. Falling asleep in your own vomit is embarrassing enough without having the other 500 people in the library know about it.

What’s Hot

S

market (or the local Tesco).

In summer, the most simple of salads come alive.

Try baby leaves tossed with nectarine and Italian Parma ham, or Wexford strawberries and balsamic vinegar. Dips such as hummus or guacamole teamed with crudités such as carrot, celery or cucumber sticks make for perfect picnic food.

In no time at all, you can prepare frittata, similar to quiche without the fuss of having to prepare pastry. If you have time, more substantial salads incorporating grains and pulses can be prepared a little in advance.

Avoca Café must be commended for coming up with the most original and interesting salads and have produced a recipe book dedicated to them, costing next to nothing. Buy it, use it and reap the rewards.

Back to basics, the humble sweaty squashed cheese sandwich never tasted better than on the beach.

Throw in a bag of Tayto crisps and you have nostalgia.

On the subject of rose-tinted glasses, summertime is the perfect occasion to remember the ice creams of your youth. While some of our old favourites such as Fat Frogs (the non-alcoholic variety) seem to have disappeared, others such as the choc-ice, iceberger, brunch, loop-the-loop and twister live on.

A bottle of chilled white or rose will always compliment outdoor eating or you could go all west Brit, kit yourself up in Ralph Lauren and go for ‘Pims in the park’. However, for real class nothing beats a warm two-litre, two-euro plastic bottle of cider. In truth, my preferred picnic drink is homemade lemonade, for which you will find a recipe below. Cheers!

&

SOAPBOX

Warning: UCD library’s contingent of airheads is likely to inspire Travis Bickle-esque levels of anger

While St Stephen’s Green (pictured) is a scenic spot, other areas such as Brittas Bay, Powerscourt gardens and even your own back garden are perfect spots for a picnic

HOT NOT

WHAT’S WHAT’S The imminent arrival of summertime

Wedges (not the potato kind, the shoes)

Crysis 2 (the most awesome shoot-’em-up ever!)

The clocks have gone forward, giving us a whole hour extra of sunshine (or daylight at least) to enjoy.

Perhaps we’re rejoicing prematurely, but after the winter we’ve had, O-two fully endorses celebrating the arrival of summer and the threemonth break on the horizon. Yes, there are exams to slog through first, but at least there’s something to look forward to!

Girls, no longer do you risk breaking an ankle teetering around in stilettos after downing one Jägerbomb too many.

And guys, you won’t have to worry about getting your foot impaled during a night out. Chunky wedges are this summer’s must-have footwear, so enjoy the surface-area-topressure ratio while you can.

Crysis 2 is not your average shoot-’em-up affair. It’s not a game for the faint-hearted either – prepare to battle your way through a ravaged New York City in a nifty nanosuit, fighting aliens and dodging the deadly Ceph infection.

With outstanding graphics and an epic soundtrack, this release from Crytek has made it a good week for gamers.

Arnold Sucker punch – Schwarzenegger the worst movie as… the of the year Governator

What’s Not

ood, the finest of life’s pleasures never tastes better than when eaten al fresco. As I find myself Dublin bound for much of this summer, I hope for nothing more than a half decent Irish summer so that I can fill it with long lunchtime picnics and balmy evening barbecues.

I mean, who wants to spend hours sweltering in a hot kitchen on a fine summer’s day? With summer food, less really is more so buy seasonal and Irish where possible.

While we Irish are out barbecuing the minute summer arrives, the Irish picnic is less of an institution, which deserves more celebrating. You don’t have to travel far, just set off for your local park with your chequered rug and picnic; venture into the capital to spend a day lulling in Stephen’s Green; or if that’s too inconvenient, migrate to your back garden. If you want to make an occasion of it, Dublin Zoo, Brittas Bay or Powerscourt gardens are all ideal locations.

Equipment-wise, tupperware, plastic cups, a few plastic forks and spoons nicked from your local Deli and kitchen roll will set you up nicely. A penknife is also a very useful picnicking tool, especially if you are preparing on location after visiting a local farmers

*

Arnold Schwarzenegger, freshly evicted from office is set to become a cartoon superhero. The Governator, developed

by Stan Lee, is ‘loosely based on his recent political career’. Loosely as in he is a superhero fighting crime and natural disasters with a 13-year-old computer genius sidekick. There’s so much WTF in this we’re going to need the next three months just to process it.

Since when have inmates of an insane asylum had access to fake eyelashes?

And since when has lingerie been suitable clothing to wear on a battlefield? Not only does this movie make no sense, it’s sexist, clichéd, and essentially just soft porn for computer geeks. If you have any taste at all, don’t go near it.

The lack of quality acts playing Marlay Park

Many of us have fond memories of sun-drenched gigs in Marlay Park, where thousands turned out for world-famous artists like Metallica, The Who, and Daft Punk. And what do we get this year? Villagers, Seasick Steve and Rodrigo y Gabriela, playing a tent with a 5000-person capacity.

No offence to these musicians, but it’s just not the same.

&%'#('#)**

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

"

"*

!"#$%&'(#")!!

&'()'*+

!"#$%

The Man in the High Castle by Philip K Dick Abandon your history notes and embrace some alternate history, as Stephen Balbirnie examines Philip K Dick’s visionary tale

P

+(##(,*-,%.*#/(*01) 03 REGULARS

14 HEADLINER

SOAPBOX Ching Chong Ling Long Ting Tong, writes Anna Burzlaff

– Charlie Sheen, but seriously though, O-two has done it again and bring you the bee’s elbows of the music industry, Elbow.

WHAT'S HOT & WHAT'S NOT Have you ever seen Muhammad Ali and Ali Lee in the same room? Just sayin’.

16 FILM

04 SPIRITUAL AND SEXUAL ADVICE

The end of the academic year luckily coincides with Fadora’s annual trip to rehab, and Mittens will join her to sort out a vicious dose of worms.

05 INTERVIEW

Mark O’Connor talks to O-two about the luxurious life of being a film whatchamacallit, you know, the one who makes them.

06 GAMES

Retro legend Zelda and her Ocarina of Time gets Balbirnied and O-two’s free-styling MJ reviews Dead Island.

07 EMER SUGRUE

Who knows what could be on page 7. On the O-two spreadsheet, it is labelled ‘Colour’ and E-Bomb Sugrue is writing it, so tear it out and stick it on the wall.

09 WEBWATCH

– Road Safety Journalist of the Year (yes, seriously!), Sarah Doran, writes about something that has nothing to do with road safety.

– Dan Moriarty keeps those eyes of his firmly fixed on Springfield.

11 FASHION

– “See you in Dunnes,” says Fashion Editor Donna Doyle, because if you’re reading a free magazine, you are bound to be cheap.

– Also in Fashion, a fitting homage to style icon Liz Taylor and Islamic fashion.

REVIEWS At O-two, we usually outdo ourselves at every turn. This time we bring you the exclusive review of a movie so amazing that it has skipped script, cinema and DVD, and gone straight to our film review section.

– Also in film, Natalie Portman and Zooey Descha-perfect in the same movie, we lol you not, Your Highness delivers the unthinkable.

Oh and Sucker Punch, but who cares?

TOP TEN Emer Sugrue, nerd Queen, delivers the penultimate top ten.

TV New hit American show, Bored to Death, reviewed and The Wire is our final boxing clever addition.

21 MUSIC

INTERVIEWS –O-two interviews: a hybrid of Glass and Vegas, Mark Chapman’s family and more Clouds like in issue 8.

SHUFFLE – See you at the airport with ‘Songs to Emigrate to’.

WRITE LIKE APES – FLA want you to bring them presents at the UCD Ball, *awkward turtle CD REVIEWS – It does what it says on the tin.

26 FOOD AND DRINK

– Get a very large tea towel, the retro 70s delph and hang sangwiches, reports chief food writer, Elaine Lavery.

28 BACK PAGE

– Your memories of the college year, O-two quizzes UCD campus – When they’re as big as U2, you can say you read them in O-two. We give you Studious Tim.

Instead of the colourful letter from the editors of O-two, I’ve taken it upon myself (Mittens) to say nice and mean things about the magazine’s editors.

Donna/Kieran, I was always jealous that the fashion pages were designed so much nicer than mine. The arrows in every issue were not a personal swipe at you Kieran, but you were right, they were meaningless.

As for Donna, you are petite and full of surprises.

We loved having you, even more than JHB loves you.

Marry me!

George/Grace, *awkward turtle* second editorial role to suffer a resignation midway through the year.

George, you made an amazing first impression on Mittens when you showed up at the office at 9am on the dot to do an interview with Fyfe Dangerfield for your first O-two article, even though you had to travel from Bray to do so. You’ve filled the Music Editor role with the same professionalism as Grace Murphy did for the first seven issues and were a delight to have around the office.

Jon Hozier-Byrne, I have taken far too many of your late night calls trying to give advice on what should go in my insightful column. However, you have really stood out of the Glen Coco shadow this year and found an area to excel in. You are an inspiring writer. I always flick straight to your content when I pick up a copy of the paper.

Killian, you’ve been shy to pull your weight in O-two over the past few weeks and made Emer do all the hard and easy work. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Especially when you forgot to put her name down for the Smedias Magazine of the Year entry, that was disgraceful. But in hindsight, that didn’t really matter at all, did it.

Emer, another awards ceremony, and another year of being robbed. You are O-two’s Colour Writer of the Year and were an excellent co-editor to keep the ship running when Killian was busy writing whatever the hell he wanted when it suited him. You are the queen of O-two, and Fadora McSexywho will never take that away. Just to make sure you got the longest individual appraisal, Mittens has thrown in this extra sentence.

Fight Like Apes, your columns/philosophical ruminations on the virtues of Solpadine have consistently been among the highlights of this publication, thank you and you’re more than welcome back anytime.

Last, but certainly not least, PAC man. Peter Anthony Corway, your press releases were a welcome change from the usual “Rihanna’s new multi remixed single is out BUY IT”. We were gutted to lose you and your hive of band manager contacts. Get in touch, O-two misses you.

And O-two will also miss all of its amazing readers.

You guys make the magazine what it is. Wait what am I saying, that’s ridiculous – we make the magazine what it is! How could the readers make a magazine?

Until next year, Meow.

hilip K Dick is one of the most seminal science-fiction writers of the twentieth century, his work not only being incredibly immersive but also highly cerebral. Even those who have never read one of his books have probably seen one of the films based on his work, such as the acclaimed Blade Runner (based on Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?) or more recently, Richard Linklater’s animated adaptation of A Scanner Darkly.

Some of Philip K. Dick’s books can be quite daunting, so for those who are unfamiliar with his work I would recommend The Man in the High Castle as a brilliant starting point. A winner of the Hugo Award for best novel in 1962, The Man in the High Castle is a combination of science fiction and alternate history.

The book is set in the United States in an alternate universe where the Axis powers won the second world war, America is split into Japanese and German occupation zones, and the Cold War is between Germany and Japan instead of the Americans and the Soviets.

The premise for the novel is an incredibly chilling one and realising such a world is a very ambitious undertaking, but the depiction of Japanese-occupied San Francisco is one that draws the reader in.

The main action of the novel takes place against the backdrop of Cold War intrigue, as the top Nazi officials

scheme against each other for control of the Reich.

The plot follows the intertwining lives of Mr Tagomi, the Japanese trade mission to San Francisco, Robert Childan, an American desperately attempting to emulate his Japanese overlords, Frank Frink, a Jewish man living under a false identity, his ex-wife Juliana, and a Swedish businessman with secret motives called Baynes.

Dick masterfully draws these disparate and complex strands together into an intelligent and compelling narrative that is as times, like much of Dick’s work, mind-bending to say the least.

However, one of the most intriguing aspects of The Man in the High Castle is the book within the book.

One of the novel’s characters, Hawthorne Abendsen, writes a book in just the same way that Dick does, exploring an alternate reality to his own, and snippets of the text appear throughout the novel.

Abendsen’s book ‘The Grasshopper Lies Heavy’ is about an Allied victory in the second world war, but even this does not match our reality, as it features a Cold War between the United States and Britain, with Churchill as the dictator of a new British Empire.

With so many strands, it can sometimes be tricky to keep track of all that’s going on, but The Man in the High Castle is definitely worth the effort.

The Man in the High Castle explores an alternative universe where the Nazis win World War II and control the world

Drunk on hate

Some people may be happy to spend €5 on Rum and Vodka, but the play seems to leave a sour taste, writes Matthew Jones

C

an you put a price on 57 minutes and 43 seconds? I’d like to think that an hour of my time is worth at least a fiver. That being the case, Kevin O’Connor and Kieron Smith owe me €5, each.

O’Connor has directed Rum and Vodka, a short, one-man monologue, originally written by the playwright: Conor McPherson. Kieron Smith takes the lead role, a twenty-something civil servant whose life unravels over the course of an alcohol-soaked lost weekend.

Sounds good right? Well, maybe it was first night jitters, but I did not like the play. Smith’s performance was strained and at times, he mixed up his lines. The dramatic pauses in the play, which were meant to show the man’s anguish, were instead just empty gaps with Smith pinching up his face at the crowd.

Characters in the play come and go without any real significance. Only hours after witnessing this performance, I found it difficult to remember the man’s wife (it’s Marie, by the way). Smith’s character claims to

be very much in love with his wife and daughters, yet there were no emotional ties evident. Smith explains how his character lost his job, his wife and his whole life over the course of three days.

There is a significant lack of emotion in this play.

When trying to portray anger or sadness to the audience, Smith just varies the volume of his voice, as well as the amount of spittle that flies out of his mouth into the crowd. Instead, we are expected to substitute dialogue and character development with repeated pub scenes.

The director and performer can’t be blamed for all the problems in the play however. Maybe it was the performance, but for a supposedly uneducated man who spent the last few days on an alcohol-fuelled bender, the dialogue is quite philosophical and introspective, with the still drinking man taking his time and silently contemplating his lot in life.

To take a quote from the show: “I think I hate the human race, I think they know, and they hate me too.” Don’t worry Kieron; the whole human race

Kieron Smith looks at the world with scornful eyes doesn’t hate you, just those of us who saw that performance.

Rum and Vodka, presented by the Gonzo Theatre Company, is running from April 4th to 9th in the International Bar.

&'()*+',-

!"#$%

!"#$%&'(#")!!

"*

Please Talk!

What is your abiding memory of this college year?

!"#$% 12TH APRIL 2011 ISSUE 12 VOL. XVII

The University Observer’s Arts & Culture Supplement

Chen Tan, First-year Medicine – My apartment caught fire two days ago. My neighbours left a convection oven on, and somehow, fire happened!

Studious Tim have the florescent lighting look down to a tee

Campus Band Questionnaire: Studious

Tim !"#$% &'(()#% '*% +,-'.% /0"(1% ('% 23(.'% "-'4(%

Jonny Briody and Richie Geoghegan talk to O-two about the inspiration for their band name, odd gigging venues and their pioneering ‘thfwip’ sound Who are your members and what do they play?

Richie: My name is Richard Geoghegan and I do lead vocals and guitar. Stephen O’Connor plays lead guitar, Jonathan Briody plays bass, and Andrew Hynes is the drummer and Jennifer Gallagher, the keyboardist.

Where did the band’s name come from?

Richie: I actually have no idea!

Jonny: The name comes from the sixth seldom seen member of the band ‘Tim’. No one is quite sure what instrument he plays, if any and why he is such a key member of the band. He is rarely seen, as unfortunately he can’t make a lot of our gigs or practices due to academic constraints.

Some have implied that the name in fact has nothing to do with this ‘fictitious’ sixth member and in fact came in part from our friends trying to find us the most obscure and anti-band name possible and also in part due to the fact that we couldn’t think of anything else that didn’t make us sound like hippie prog rockers, but we’ll let you decide which fits better.

Where do you gig?

Richie: Currently that would be birthday parties and small venues, but hopefully we’ll be gigging a lot more after the Battle of the Bands.

Jonny: Also, nursing homes, showers, back alleys, birthdays, your ma’s, sometimes even real venues such as the Student Bar, mostly places with bad security that can’t stop us from getting in.

What do you play on your tour bus?

Jonny: Monopoly, charades and a new game I invented entitled: ‘Who can best distract the bus driver on dangerous turns?’ Well, I play that, the others play: ‘Who can scream the loudest as we hurtle towards oncoming traffic?’

How do you describe your sound?

Richie: I guess it’s rock, with a big pop, blues and indie influence to it.Jonny: A mixture of that “thfwip” noise

when your leaving a cinema and your shoe nearly gets pulled off you by the sticky stuff on the floor and the vague conviction that a song with any less than 15 power chords is a complete waste of time.

How did the band start?

Richie: I started the band in January of this year asking friends in UCD, Johnny and Jen, to join. I met Andrew our drummer in the Music Society and he recruited Stephen.

What’s the best thing about UCD? Richie: The Student Bar. And the people here, the people here are cool!

What’s the worst thing about UCD? Richie: The whole academic part, how it interferes with the band and also the fact the Forum Bar is closed.

Jonny: The lack of a serious jam space or instrument baby-sitting service, it is not easy lugging a bass through six hours of lectures.

Who you would you pick to play your dream festival?

Richie: There are so many bands we’d love to have.

To name a few: Modest Mouse, Chilli Peppers, Tool, Rage Against the Machine, Queens of the Stone Age, Gorillaz, The Cardigans, Rammstein and HIM. What is your dream venue to play?

Richie: We’d love to play Webster Hall in NY or The Fillmore in California and Electric Picnic.

Jonny: The UCD Ball would be amazing!

How do you differ from other bands in UCD? Jonny: Unlike many of the other bands in this college, we don’t ‘play’ music per-se, that’s far too mainstream.

Richie: Jen put this one very well: ‘Well I know we don’t hurt your ears and make you want to pull your eyes out when you hear us.’

Check out Studious Tim’s new demo on their Facebook page now.

In conversation with Cormac Duffy

#'/$%1("#5'6%"75%5#87$879%.8(0%:8,,"9)#1

Neil McDermott, Third-year Arts – I got glassed, but I don’t remember it.

Nick Power/Football Face, Secondyear Medicine – A friend of mine had a threesome.

+INSIDE

The Swan, PhD in Russian Literature & Folklore – I chased that mothafuckin’ duck away from my lake, she won’t be coming round here no mo’. Quack!

- George Morahan

CK PART 2 TURE AND BA FU E TH TO P NTS > CO ITTER ACCOU > NOVELTY TW FASHION > ISLAM AND S > GLASVEGA