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Boomerang September 2017

70-30

by your Boomerang Board provided us with black on white data, they asserted that the genderratio of applicants corresponds to the ratio of the intake. It follows that the college receives more applications from highly-qualified females, than from males. The question remains whether this imbalance is a problem and if it is, whether there are any solutions.

UCU student walks into the bar. While sipping his beer and waiting for a friend, something seems odd to him. He realises: “Where are the guys?” He starts counting. Fifty people are in the bar; ten are male. Rare occasion? Not really: 73% of respondents to a survey we conducted estimated the gender ratio at 70% or more female. What does this mean? How does this affect students’ social lives? Classroom dynamics? Are such extreme imbalances specific to UCU or a more general trend? Does this mean that male applicants have better chances of being accepted to UCU? The Boomerang set out to find the answers. Gender imbalances in education are a national issue. In Dutch primary schools, girls are outperforming boys in every field. In Dutch secondary schools, boys catch up only in the natural sciences. At university, girls still form the majority as well. For example, the UU gender ratio is 59% female. At UCU, it’s even higher — as of 2016, 68% of UCU students are female. And the trend did not stop there. Our new group of first years has a 70%-30% ratio. Let that sink in. The effect of this division on the student body is difficult to identify. We approached student life officer Mark Baldwin, who was hesitant to identify any clear consequences of a largely female campus. When asked whether he expects friction caused by the increasing number of young women on campus, Baldwin said that this depends almost entirely on individual reactions. He imagines that men on campus might have a particularly difficult time finding people that understand them instantly. He however also sees this as an opportunity for conversation and understanding among genders. Baldwin said that most of it has to do with one’s awareness and willingness to acclimatise: “I don’t think you can draw the general conclusion that there will be friction if there’s imbalance.”

Baldwin does see a potential danger to the campus dating scene caused by the dwindling number of young men. “One thing to pay attention to on any campus like this, when there is such an imbalance, is whether women feel the need to go further, quicker, to demonstrate that they are eligible partners in a romantic relationship. Equally, there may be undue pressure on young men to feel like they have people chasing after them. Some men just wouldn’t welcome that.” It is debatable whether the increasing ratio will have an effect on applications. Some female applicants believe that their applications may be overlooked due to the overwhelming number of girls applying. A prospective student, asked whether she was aware of the situation, answered: “Yes, I am a girl and I carry an EU-passport. This may or may not work in my favor. Nevertheless, would you have any advice on how to make my application stand out?” The gender disparity on campus is likely caused by a significantly higher number of female applicants. Although College Hall, even after repeated written requests, never

ARE YOU A PIÑA COLADA? | 2 I GAVE MY CONDOMS TO MY UNITMATE | 4 THE BUBBLE IS FAKE AND SO ARE YOU | 5

In our survey, a vast majority of participants expressed that the gender ratio felt too extreme. Thinking of solutions, do we really have one? One option is the introduction of a gender quota. Although effective, it seems wrong — it would discriminate against many highly qualified female applicants. Is this in line with UCU’s philosophy? We do not believe so. Perhaps a more holistic application process would be a better approach. UCU’s current heavy focus on high school grades does not result in the desired candidate pool — perhaps many male prospective applicants, who on average have lower grades but are strong in other areas of their application, miss out on the UCU experience. These approaches might slightly lower UCU’s academic standards. However, attracting a large number of well-rounded, motivated students, would more than counteract this effect, all while potentially balancing the gender ratio. While this may not be the most direct approach, we should experiment nonetheless. The only organic solution is to convince more qualified male students to apply. This is a task for UCU’s public relations staff, and not an easy one. Possibly the issue will eventually resolve itself, with LAS education becoming more established and the UC system gaining more prestige. As a consequence, the male applicant pool might increase. However, it would be overly optimistic to depend on this.

CANDY JAMESON: A FANFICTION | 7 BREXIT AND DUTCH EDUCATION | 8 MAYBE I’M THE DUMB ONE? | 10

The Boomerang | September 2017

BUBBLE

Dear Campus, I love complaining about UCU. In fact, I love it so much I made it my job and became editor-in-chief of the Boomerang, an organisation fiercely dedicated to both constructive and unconstructive criticism. The moment I stepped onto Campus at the beginning of this year however, something felt different. What hit me wasn’t the 250 new faces that I had never seen before, or that some close friends had left. I realised that my time at UCU would be over after the coming academic year. Well, life won’t be, but let’s be honest, for many of us, that’s pretty much the same. With this in mind, all the little things that make this place so special suddenly shone out in the cold, grey, and wet days of late Dutch summer. From wildly irresponsible nights out, to the warmth of this tight community, to being awestruck by other people’s talents, to waking up five minutes before class starts, what we have becomes especially valuable once you stand to lose it. But this place is still far from perfect, and likely never will be. This makes the Boomerang’s role on campus, through your writing talent, especially valuable. Only with a crew of people dedicated to openly voicing what everyone silently thinks and uncovering what nobody yet knows, a community can work on improving itself. This would not be possible without our many talented writers, who put themselves into the public sphere to say something important, and our editors who make sure that the writers are understood. But just as important is a dedicated and talented board. Joining our hyper-organised Managing Editor Meike, title-sayseverything Creative Director Nina and myself this year are Charlotte Remarque and Laura Hoogenraad as Executive Editors, Aditya Agarwal as Layout Director (and low-key IT-support hotline), and Thomas Scassellati Sforzolini as Communications Officer. More than excited for a productive year,

Clemens Schally

ARE YOU A PIÑA COLADA, OR A LONG ISLAND ICE TEA? by Maya Homsy King “Where are you from?” “____ & ____.” “So where did you live then? “Some random place that is neither of those previously mentioned” ________

bout a month ago I was in Barcelona, visiting a school for my little brother. The receptionist asked him where he was from, and he gave the complicated answersomething I never do. She smiled and said in Spanish ‘un verdadero cóctel’- a real cocktail. It wasn’t some deeply eloquent description, but I loved that. The metaphor fits what I feel like, in a more pleasant way than being called a ‘Third Culture Kid’, or a ‘citizen of the world’ which sounds so formal and pretentious. I would hate it when people, especially kids my age, would ask me where I was from. I would try to decide whether to give the full story, to give a semi-simplified version, or to give an easy, albeit incorrect answer. I could say I was simply American, I could say I was half American half Swiss, I could also mention that I lived in East Africa, and I could say that although my passports denoted me as American/Swiss, that really isn’t the whole story. This complicatedness used to embarrass me — I wanted to have a painless answer for this supposedly easy

question. In this day and age, though, with our shrinking and an increasingly globalizing world, it is not of paramount importance that a person identifies with one, two, or however many places. A national identity is becoming less and less important; stories like mine are commonplace, especially at international schools and at university campuses. It can be enough to be your own particular cocktail of nationalities and personality traits that change and evolve over time. You go from being a boring old Martini to being a grapefruit and lime sangria in your teens and 20s, and when you reach the ripe old age of 40, you settle for being an Old Fashioned — at least for a while, until you hit your midlife crisis, which is when you may strive for the Margarita existence once again. It is true that elements of our parents’ cultures form our identities, but the freedom that many of us have to travel to countries all over the world, and to meet people from everywhere, shapes us differently. We are able to adapt, to change

our ingredients as we move from one community to the next, while at the same time keeping parts of the recipe constant. It is estimated by the UN that 20% of all international travellers are young people, and with the interconnectedness of our digital world, we expose ourselves to different perspectives and lifestyles almost daily. This results in it being increasingly difficult for us to completely identify with any one culture or nationality, whether or not we grew up in an international context. Instead of fitting into a culture, or trying to be true to one’s own nationality, our generation is one of global interaction where everyone becomes their own cocktail of cultures, stories and experiences that transforms and adapts as their life continues.

A University College Student Association Magazine

BUBBLE

Dear Alumnus,

You made it! You managed to survive this stressful, but oh so beautiful bubble. I have only been a student here since the end of August, but it already feels like I have been living here for years. About a month ago, I walked through the campus gate with my six suitcases like a lost puppy. Now I can call myself a proper student who has to do a bazillion readings. So many things have taken place since that first day, I don't even know where to start. I could fill the whole 'UCU confessions' Facebook page. The first days were intense, like really intense. I, for one, had a great start. A third-year student made my room his territory. This was quite confusing, even though it gave me the opportunity to meet the Landlord, and who doesn't want to do that on their first day? FOMO meant that I barely spent any time in my room that first week, with the exception of the 4 hours of sleep that I got every night. The open borrels never stopped, and I never stopped going to them, having absolutely no clue what I was doing there. Speaking of not knowing what to do, do you perhaps have any tips on how to subtly tell your fellow students that you too love to listen to music, but that sleep is also important? I understand that it is a once in a lifetime experience to live in the same building as the next best singer-songwriter of The Netherlands, but I am also very keen on my sleeping time. Anyhow, what I wanted to say is that I find life on campus intense and exhausting. I guess it is just part of a new phase and an exciting one at that. I mean, these years are going to be the best of my life, right? Best wishes, A puppy, who's still a little lost, but getting there, Suzanne Abrahamse.

The Boomerang | September 2017

BUBBLE

LIFE AFTER DINING HALL by Florine Kist

nce upon a time, there was this magical place called Dining Hall, where disappointing dinner menus were compensated by extensive, fancy lunches, where it smelled like delicious kroketten at arrival, and disgustingly dirty dishes at goodbye. But most importantly, it was in Dining Hall, where the most important part of all of our social lives took place. Well, those glorious days are over. No more disappointing cordon- bleus or tasteless vegetables, no more sandwiches that are worth running out of your 12:45 class for. Our breeding ground for any significant social interaction is gone. Now that we are no longer obliged to spend over 770 euros a semester on food, we don’t seem to bother to go to Dining Hall anymore. The side-effects could be tragic: a crucial part of our social lives at UCU is disappearing. Remember when — in the first few weeks following intro week — there was nowhere, apart from the bar perhaps, where one could make friends as easily as in Dining Hall? Everyone was still so open and eager for

friends that the answer to a “can I maybe sit here?” couldn’t possibly be a no. This was a good thing since intro week families were falling apart which meant you suddenly had to stand on your own feet. What will be missed especially is that domino effect: where knowing just one other person allowed you to join a group for lunch or dinner. You would then further exploit this connection by casually tagging along with any of these newly acquired dining hall friends. We’re still all going to meet each other, but will we have a focal point? What about firstyears and exchange students, who will not have this convenient start and opportunity to meet so many people at once? Are their friendships only found in classes, units, or at the bar? Besides missing out on this social safety net of newly-made Dining Hall friends, there are some joys one could only experience in Dining Hall. Perhaps never again will we hear a group of Primus first-years — some awkwardly, others convincingly — sing an ode to a group of giggling Allure girls. We might never have to avoid people constantly

bugging us to buy tickets, for three weeks in a row. After which we will all line up collectively to get one, on the very last day of course. We may never again create our own sociological theories based on observations of the Equites table. And so too, we might never again feel what it is like to enter Dining Hall on a Friday morning and experience the awkwardness of waving at yesterday’s hookup, after which you can’t escape filling in your friends. All these social dynamics that are so authentic to UCU will vanish along with our Dining Hall credit cards. Is there a flipside to this coin? Perhaps. We will never have to sell 500 euros worth of credit for half the price or buy a mango for €4,00. The pockets of our jackets won’t be overloaded with receipts that we will never look at, our previously bad to mediocre cooking skills will improve drastically, and the relationships with our unit mates will grow exponentially. Yet, however positive this might be, I doubt whether these consequences are good enough replacements for that part of our social life that we now have lost.

“I GAVE ALL MY CONDOMS TO MY UNITMATE” UCU’s Virgins tell their story by Lotte Schuengel

ne night stands, anal sex and threesomes. Although the increasing scarcity of males threatens our colony with rapid extinction, the Kromhout barracks quite closely resemble Sodom and Gomorrah if we are to believe UCU confessions. But is there really so much dirty stuff going on behind the doors of Lekstede Wonen, or do the wild stories we hear only cover a minimal part of an otherwise conservative community? Let’s talk to the virgins. I managed to find one. For privacy reasons, their name has been changed. “I’m kind of ashamed of it, actually,” says Ian (20), a second year. “On the first day of UCU, my mom handed me a box of condoms. There’s only two left now. I gave the rest of them away to my unitmate.” “My friends don’t know that I’m a virgin. Only my mom knows, and she tells me I shouldn’t worry about it because I’ll find a sweet and pretty girl who will like me for who I am.” When asked if he has found a sweet and pretty girl at UCU, Ian scratches the back of his head and stares towards the ground for quite a while. “There’s plenty of them here, yeah sure, but none of them has really shown any interest in me ever. Wait, that’s not true. There was this girl in my intro week family last year who really seemed to like me, but at the time I wasn’t into her. Now she’s dating this Equites guy. Sometimes I regret not having joined Equites. But then I remember that I respect myself.” “I do go out, I go to the bar. No, never off campus. Too far away. The bar… well. It’s competition. I know that there are girls here and there who might be into

me, for there are barely any guys left. I’ve also lost some weight over the summer break, and now that I’m more confident, I have reason to keep my hopes up. Before I go out, I always clean up my room, just in case. I don’t want to do it between stacks of dirty plates.” Harriet (19) lost her virginity in the second week of her third semester. She blames the UCSA bar’s policy for not allowing her to lose it earlier. “The ban on making out in the bar has turned the place a bit prudish. I mean, I’m not a big fan of people making out in public myself, but a hand on a tit from time to time wouldn’t hurt. I think it’s up to people whether they want to take their session to some private place. It’s so childish the way it is now, like primary school when the kids are chanting ‘wooaaahhh, they’re kissing! Let’s throw water on them haha that’s so funny.’ It’s not. What else am I supposed to do in a bar with someone I like? I just want to be a bit inappropriate, that’s all. Especially now while I’m still young and hot.” “So last week I finally had sex with someone from my anthropology class. It was sort of what I expected. Yes, I gave my consent, but I didn’t tell him it was my first time. Maybe that’s for the best. I’m not really into the guy at all, but I needed to get this over with. I can’t spend my life being so selective. It was an opportunity and I took it. Hopefully, I don’t ever have to do a group assignment with him.”

A University College Student Association Magazine

BUBBLE

THE BUBBLE IS FAKE AND SO ARE YOU by Anahi Saravia Herrera

ometimes when you’re at UCU, it can feel like you’re in the surreal landscape of a video game, confined to fences that many people have taken to calling ‘the bubble’. It sometimes feels like in this micro-environment we all play a role that makes you almost feel like you’re not part of Utrecht, or the real world at all for that matter. Whilst many might enjoy this aspect of campus, this detachment from the real world sometimes feels like a reluctance to acknowledge the rules or dynamics that exist there. Acknowledging ‘the outside’ is something we often talk about when we joke about bursting the bubble. But I don’t think you’ll hear a reassuring pop by leaving campus, or even Utrecht, for an afternoon. Usually, the pop is heard and ignored, particularly when the needle is introduced and we’re reminded of the real world, a world that ultimately seems to undermine a supposed ‘liberal’ utopia at UCU.

“

There are no sexists at UCU, there are no racists at UCU. There is no discriminatory behaviour at UCU. We feel we are above that.

While this has happened in multiple instances during my stay at UCU, there have been a few particularly telling occasions. Evident in every single one of these occasions was the sentiment that UCU students could do no wrong, regardless of how explicitly other students complained and criticized their means. It could be an inappropriate party theme like the Narco themed Beach Party, Gang War themed bar night or the rejection of a Feminist Committee. The moment UCU students or committees were criticized for being anything but liberal, you could hear a quiet but unmistakable pop in our bubble. Suddenly people were made aware that UCU wasn’t the utopia we so often pretend it is. Rather than listen to the few trying to call attention to our flaws, they are shushed and marginalized. Because, of course, this is UCU and nothing of that sort could ever happen here. There are no sexists at UCU, there are no racists at UCU, there is no discriminatory behaviour at UCU. We feel we are above that, and many will fight to the figurative Facebook comment death to defend that. The more we convince ourselves the bubble is separate from the world, the more it seems people believe we are immune to the dynamics that rule the world around us. This is a belief that

permeates our campus so deeply that it’s a priority that seems to be entirely lost on ASC, the UCSA and even Campus Hall. There seems to a certain extent be a dissolution of responsibility when it comes to social wellness issues. Where do you go when you’ve been sexually harassed? Where do you go if your mental or physical needs aren’t met by this campus? Who do you complain about racially and socially trivializing party themes? On campus, there doesn’t seem to be a place to do that, and maybe that’s because we believe that’s not something we would ever need. However, whether or not our administrative groups deal with it, it exists, and we have to acknowledge it. The sad thing is, whether we as students collectively decide to acknowledge it or not, these dynamics will continue to work around us, small communities of people on campus will continue to be marginalized and students will be forced to be the whistleblowers. What’s more discouraging is that our own university institutions justify and facilitate this behaviour by putting their logo on these events, making it impossible for anyone to make a difference. The pops are ignored, life goes on, and students on this campus are deluded even further into thinking that the bubble is the liberal utopia we’ve made up. There’s a certain irony in this process. It seems that we think we can do no wrong because by merit of going to an international college we believe ourselves to have reached our peak moral standing. When you’re accepted at UCU, you feel as if you’ve been told ‘ you’re one of the good ones’, absolving you of any future efforts to actually try to be good. But, let’s not forget why many of us, particularly students coming from an all Dutch or all European background, applied to this university, to begin with — to be a part of an international environment. That means acknowledging the real world, with real dynamics, where we need to actually exert real tolerance, whether we like it or not. Being at an international college is inviting PC culture, it’s hearing different voices and being open to listening, it’s earning the label of diversity not just because there are different nationalities but because we’re tolerant to all of their needs and requests. If we fail to do this, the bubble simply becomes an environment where we simultaneously glorify and undermine an identity we fail to embody, becoming a dystopian parody of what we want the world to think we are. UCU is many positive things, it’s just not perfect. I think the sooner we realize that, the sooner we might actually move to resemble the community we want to and can be. Pop, there goes the bubble. I’ve popped it for as long as it’s taken you to read this article, and I hope you let it be heard before you put the paper down.

The Boomerang | September 2017

BUBBLE

WHAT I HOPE UCU WILL BE LIKE

very morning, sans eye bags and perfectly awake even before her first coffee, she effortlessly glides across the quad as if it practically isn’t a massive pit of quicksand. She knows how all the printers on campus work and she never has to double-check where her classes are. She even manages to remain unaffected by the ’15 minutes late’ rule that plagues everyone else on campus. She finds time to FaceTime her mom every day, but only to chat and see her dog, not to ask for help with how to cook rice properly or to ask for more money, because she is independent and can work things out for herself. She has work experience placements in the bag and internships lined up because by third year she has successfully discovered what she wants to do after UCU and how she might want to do it. She does all her reading no later than a couple days after it is set, and she makes extensive notes on everything, rather than just highlighting the PDF and calling it a day. Work and academics aren’t the only focus of her day; she is also able to make regular appearances at the Bar where she is confident enough to dance without even a splash of alcohol in her system.

Dear A. Puppy,

by Saskia Vrensen

She is loyal and active in her friendships on campus and is active in campus activities. Oh, and on top of all of this, her fashion is impeccable and she never even considers wearing her pyjamas to her 9 AM classes. As her perfect hair flows behind her during her walk across the quad, people whisper ‘who’s that girl?’ This girl has her shit together. She has perfected the art of being flawless in every aspect. But this girl is just an unattainable list of goals, and no one could ever be that perfect. Just starting my first year, I hope my time at UCU can teach me how to be productive and organised in my studies, how to balance my time between everything I find important (and how to figure out what it is that I find important!), how to be self-reliant and independent, and how to actively and passionately seek out opportunities. If by my third year, I know where my life might be heading and can dance badly at the Bar without feeling embarrassed, I’ll consider my time at UCU to be a success. Maybe the most important thing I want to learn at UCU is how to feel confident despite my flaws. But it would also be cool if people whisper ‘who’s that girl?’ as I walk past…

Right now you are probably one of two things: scared or overly cocky. I will try to cater to both categories, although I will admit that I definitely belonged to the former. Everyone's UCU experience will be unique, so I'm not going to force-feed you my own struggles and triumphs and tell you that you have to follow suit. It might be a disaster. It might fly by without a single glitch, you-lucky-ducky-you. Something I can tell you for certain is that you are in for the three most condensed years of your life. You know condensed milk? It's like milk, but stickier and sweeter and really bad for you? It is very likely that you will have moments where you forget that there is a world outside of those few square meters, even if you become a seasoned bubble-burster. This can be blissful. Who wants to deal with the scary confusing world when you can snuggle up in the gentle embrace of UCU? There's no shame in it, and I fully encourage you to revel in the stimulating, open and intelligent environment you briefly find yourself in. There are also times when it's cripplingly overwhelming. People will advise you to simply create a life outside of UCU. But as an introverted international student, I know that this can be difficult. There was a time, whilst writing my thesis, going to get groceries made me anxious for the amount of time I was wasting not writing. So at least put it on a post-it note somewhere to avoid the tunnel vision setting in. That way when things get too cluttered, you keep bumping into your ex everywhere, nobody did their dishes, you have to change thesis supervisors for the third time, you can regroup and realise that a lot of the pressure is created by that thin UCU air you've been breathing. I thought I should also address directionless-ness, the common plague of the average UCU student. Although you should partly expect to be just as confused coming out as coming in, you can also expect to be a lot more capable. This might not be visible when surrounded by other overachievers, but once you interact with new environments, you will see just how much UCU has sharpened you. I am probably the last person who should be saying this, but try not to worry about the future too much. As a UCU graduate, a lot of doors will be open for you and although you may not make all the right choices right away, there's always time to backtrack and try again. I'm not going to lie to you, I've had both some of the worst and best moments of my life over the past three years, and it's likely you will too (see: condensed milk). In the end, what you're there to do is learn. Which you will be, be it from those heavy books or on your own skin. My best and only advice is to take it all in. Kind Regards, Wise battle-scarred veteran, Simona Tomms.

A University College Student Association Magazine

BUBBLE

BTW, BARTENDERS’ WEEKEND by Meike Eijsberg

rought to you by a third-semester student who has absolutely no excuse for not having BTW before. Bartenders Weekend. The Weekend of Beer. The Beertastic Adventure. There are many words to describe the three days that are essentially devoted to having a great time drinking as much beer as your body can possibly contain. This article shall try to give an overview of the many events that the weekend held, as many of its participants probably experience trouble remembering. The weekend started off with a list, detailing various mysterious items. However, you really only needed three things. Good spirit, markers, and a white t-shirt. The latter being the one thing — except drunkenness — that will tell you who is doing BTW and who is not. Although the t-shirts could have been used as a beautiful souvenir, most people had theirs ripped of their sweaty, highly intoxicated bodies within the first two hours. Next was the dividing of the groups. This was done by handing out inscribed coaster necklaces. Options included, but were definitely not limited to: C3P-Hoe, Darth Vibrator, and Jabba the Slut. I applaud your creativity BarCo. No really. After everyone was divided, the drinking finally began. Games, chants, and

the ever-feared ‘BUFFALOO!’ were the chief’s and BarCo’s means of making sure everyone got properly drunk. As a result, a competition of who had the most strikes on their forearms quickly arose. It is probably safe to say, that you’ve succeeded at BTW, if both your arms were covered.

Needless to say anything can happen in BTW. But the rule stands: what happens in BTW, stays in BTW.

Saturday morning we started right where we left off. You guessed it: beer. With this wholehearted breakfast under our belts, the chiefs made everyone wiggle around on a beautifully drawn twister field, ensuring we all looked like leopards. For the rest of the day, we competed in the BPA games. Despite energy levels being low, and hangover levels being high, this proved to be great entertainment. After many, many games and, more importantly, many naps, the final evening had arrived. But before opening the doors to the rest of campus, the BarCo members deserved a proper thank you. So what better way to do that than by gifting them custom cocktails, complete with an improvised play of each team? That night, everyone grabbed each other one last time, until Sunday morning slowly crept in, the beer started to run out, and the music slowly died…

CANDY JAMESON – A FANFICTION by Jamie March

t’s midday and the lights that spell out ‘Jazzman’s’ are reflected has removed his shoe and I gather that only two layers separate us. in his dark chocolate coloured eyes. Dining hall is empty once ‘Please, not here, not now’ I whimper. again, but even if it wasn’t, we are in our own little world. The excuse His grin becomes sinister as I realize that he is not about to let up for this coffee date is the consequences of a scandalous Boomerang article and yet we both know this is a flimsy facade for what could and that this teasing is going to continue. be the start of something beautiful. As I gaze longingly at the way ‘Do you want me to stop? Are we going too far?’ his hair is parted to the right in that sexy bad boy manner, I imagine what it must feel like to run my fingers through those locks before I try to control my breathing to keep the Dining Hall personnel in slowly slipping my hand down to cusp his cheek. Suddenly, I realize the dark but I’m having a hard time as I get louder and louder. he’s been talking this entire time, and I have to snap back from my ‘J******’ I involuntarily moan and I clasp my hand against my fantasies. I realize this slight pause is a prompt that must have been preceded by a question, and I must ask him to repeat himself as mouth to try and keep the sound inside. ‘Please, I promised the I had lost myself checking out how his three-piece accentuates his Boomerang Board that this wouldn’t get smutty.’ tight figure. ‘If you want me to stop, make me.’ ‘Is there anything you feel like you’re missing at UCU?’

His hand moves away from my thigh and he smiles that damned I take a moment to compose myself before I consider my answer, smile of his. He takes a final sip of his coffee before passing me his is it too brazen? Too risqué? Maybe I should just bite the bullet business card with his home address and his wife’s poker times and put myself out there, the risk is high, but imagining the reward written on the back. As he finally gets up from his chair and winks at me he asks: causes something to stir inside me. ‘Was this your intention all along? Provoking me with this sensual My voice is shaky as it breaks and I barely whisper ‘not something, someone’ and I move my hand from my coffee cup and slide fanfiction of yours?’ it across the table. ‘Well it worked, didn’t it?’ A slight gasp escapes his mouth, a mixture of surprise and anticHe laughs that hearty laugh of his before firmly grabbing onto my ipation, and he slides his leg to rub up against mine. The game is hand. ‘I hope you know what you’re getting into.’ afoot. Our desires are out in the open. A fire is lit in his eyes and ‘I played catcher for my high school baseball team, I like to think I understand the submissive role he expects me to take. His foot slides up my thigh and I realize that in the heat of the moment he that I’m ready for you.’

The Boomerang | September 2017

WORLD

BRITAIN’S INSTITUTIONAL NORMALISATION OF CATHOLICISM by Louis Stapleton English

hen interviewed by ITV’s Good Morning Britain, Conservative backbench MP Jacob Rees Mogg stated with evident sincerity his personal opinion on abortion and same-sex marriage. He strongly claimed that neither are human “rights”. When asked for a form of justification, his faith in Catholicism, its practices and viewpoints was his simple and singular answer. One could argue rightly that MP’s are allowed to hold their own personal viewpoints and that he represents a party and a government that does not share the same feelings. This point could prove valid, if not for the minor detail that he is rumoured to be a candidate next in line to replace current Conservative Prime Minister Theresa May. Praised by newspapers such as the Spectator, and detested by those like the Guardian, Mogg has seen a recent rise in popularity, primarily due to the public’s general inability to take his ancient mindset and mannerisms seriously. The disbelief and humour that boosted the once unknown MP to such heights of fame — in relation to British politics — can be compared to another recent political horror: American President Donald Trump — who, coincidentally, Mogg supports.

woman to have an abortion when she had been raped incestuously and impregnated, he answered, “Life begins at the point of conception and abortion is morally indefensible.” Taking this statement into consideration, along with his stance against same-sex marriage, is it not legitimate to say that these views are outdated, not amusing, or humorous. But perilous for society if this acceptance, or blind evaluation, of such views is to be considered the norm? Definitely, Mogg is entitled to his own personal opinions, but his justification of “I accept the teaching of the Catholic Church” when asked if he supported same-sex marriage is something that, with the radicalisation of religion in youth should be perhaps more cautionary. Perhaps if these are views held by people with considerable political power, which implies

the viewpoints of many of Britain’s youth, they should be adapted or re-shaped to encompass all human beings, regardless of their sexuality and life choices. If the public sees no whiplash of political resentment from Mogg’s own (Conservative) party, then an air of general dismissal of hope in relation to public emotion will be something that may be seen more and more. In this day and age, with the surge of global radicalisation of politics, it’s dangerous for any public to become submissive with regards to political opinion. Although it is easy to be agitated on a national level in topics that naturally encourage public fury, less important topics, too, should be given attention. History has proven that small movements have an ability to grow and develop into something that carries significance and weight. We can see from recent events like Trump’s election, or even Brexit, that the most unlikely of possibilities have become a reality. Britain may recognise the Catholic Church as its official state religion, but should not (as an institution), allow the viewpoints of something so ancient to tamper with the lives of so many. Let’s not sleep on the dangerous humours of politics, or accept the justification of ancient religious views.

But none of this is where the real issue lies. What is, probably, more hard to distinguish in a sense of right and wrong (if there is such a thing), is whether or not the public should accept that this view is something that a member of parliament should be able to hold. When asked whether Mogg would permit a

BETTER TOGETHER?

Brexit and the Dutch Higher Education by Márton Végh

he British have decided to leave the European Union and I guess that most of us will miss them very much – including the Dutch economy. After the Brexit, the UK will most probably not stay in the single market with the free movement of labour, goods, and services, which will hurt the trade relations with the Netherlands, a very important import partner. On the other hand, what the Netherlands loses on the swings, it may gain back on the roundabouts because Amsterdam is one of the possible new destinations for many international companies seeking to find a new location for their HQ in the EU. For instance, the EU HQ of the biggest Japanese bank has already moved to the

Dutch capital. While Amsterdam is an aspiring candidate for title of the new financial capital of Europe, the Netherlands carries the opportunity to become the new EU hotspot for scientific research and higher education. But it is uncertain how higher education will be affected by Brexit. British universities are consequently ranked as the best ones in Europe, which makes them the most popular for Dutch students to pursue higher education, with a body of approximately 7000 students. As EU citizens, Dutch students paid the same amount of tuition fees as their British peers and were able to take a student loan. The future of EU students in Britain is not clear yet, but it is likely that after Brexit they will fall into the

same category as non-EU students, who pay higher fees and cannot take loans. This will probably cause Dutch students to stay in their home country for their undergraduate education. In addition, British universities are the largest beneficiaries of EU research support – without this and the fees of European students, the quantity of articles published by British researchers will inevitably decrease, which could lead to a fall in the global higher education rankings. The Netherlands will obviously lose a large percentage of those British students who come here for a cheap alternative of the notoriously expensive British higher education. Some predict that the demand for (continues on next page)

A University College Student Association Magazine

WORLD English language courses will grow as more talented EU students will prefer the Netherlands over the UK after Brexit. Dutch universities frequently appear among the global top 100 in rankings and offer more English language undergraduate programmes than their German or French counterparts. It is quite probable that the country will become the new favourite hub for EU students seeking to study abroad.

If these forecasts turn out to be true, Brexit will have very promising consequences for one segment of the Dutch university sector – the university colleges. Although the Liberal Arts and Sciences program is of American origin, it is a well-known concept in the UK. Top-tier British institutions, such as University College London, King’s College and the University of Durham, have launched programmes based on liberal arts principles.

Dutch university colleges bear clear resemblances to British elite collegiate universities. Additionally, the English language teaching not only enables young people without Dutch knowledge to study in the Netherlands, but brings these institutions closer to the AngloSaxon academic culture. These combined factors might make the university colleges the valued alternatives of British universities for both locals and foreigners.

EXPATS’ WAKE UP CALL by Soomin Chung

uddenly, everyone is interested in politics — Facebook feed is filled with an influx of shares from various news sources about a rush to the grocery store to stock up on food or a sudden desire to flee the country. Qatar, a serene, almost eventless peninsular gulf country is suddenly shaken to the core with the news of Gulf embargo crisis. The well-off expatriates in the Middle East are almost untouchables, sitting atop a pile of luxuries living by the motto: ignorance is bliss. This crisis hit us with a sense of realization so here is a collection of accounts from Qatari expatriates that experienced the effect of Qatar-Gulf crisis in the fateful month of June 2017. Isaac Whiteley is a senior at the American School of Doha. On the issue of Qatari embargo, his experience is that a passer-by as it “hardly affected” him. With the outbreak of the news on Qatari embargo and the urgent Facebook posts stifling a rush to the supermarket to stock up on food as an implication to GCC blockade, Isaac mentioned that while branded food is harder to attain, there is “replacement for everything just as good” referring to Turkish dairy products that replaced the former monopoly of Saudi Al-Marai dairy and poultry products. However, as a school athlete participating in regional competitions in the Middle East and South Asia (MESAC), he complained that travelling is the only inconvenience he has encountered so far: “We can no longer travel to Dubai for sports competitions so all the events for the first season are in either Oman or India. Other schools in the league are annoyed at that so the Varsity Club Council in our school has to raise money to pay for part of their trip so the travel is a hassle”. Despite the inconveniences, Isaac rather sees the Qatar-Gulf crisis as an opportunity for an increase in Qatari nationalism and a chance to establish solidarity among Qatari and expatriate communities within the country. He said that “it [Qatari embargo incident] brought the country and the Emir of Qatar, the monarchy, closer. There are posters of Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad Al Thani all around the country like at malls and on advertisements by the road to show

support for him not giving in to the pressure of other Gulf countries. At my school, there is one that has hundreds of student signatures on it which really shows that we agree with what he’s doing as a Qatari expatriate community”. Samuel Atkin, a first-year university student at the University of Liverpool who recently graduated from the American School of Doha, gave a more passionate recount on his take on Qatari embargo:

“

As humans, we have the gift of sympathy but to what extent?

“It made me angry because Qatar was being accused of funding terrorism such ISIL on no factual grounds but claims. At the time, I was on a 3-week long trip to Greece and it made me worried to go back to Qatar in case things got hostile and it might not have been safe”. The common trend among expatriates in Qatar in regards to the Qatari embargo crisis was that there was an inconvenience to trips as their flight routes could not travel over Gulf countries such as the United Arab Emirates and Saudi Arabia. Sam also remarked on claims that Al-Jazeera, a Qatar-based news source that got banned in various Gulf countries at the face of QatarGulf crisis: “The demand that Qatar should shut down Al Jazeera was outrageous — it is a media and although it might have some bias to Gulf countries as does every media, everyone has a right to free speech and it is absurd that Saudi was trying to take that away from Qatar. So I was angry, outraged and nervous”. As humans, we have the gift of sympathy but to what extent? Is a crisis considerable only when it affects our individual lives? Qatar, only publicly known by its brand name Qatar Airways has seen one of its most urgent political crises in the summer of 2017 and it is not every day that you hear personal accounts from international students in the midst of the singing dunes of Doha, Qatar.

The Boomerang | September 2017

ARTS&CULTURE

MAYBE I’M THE DUMB ONE? by Sven Bosma

ver the summer, I zoned into life to find myself on the way to the Voorlinden Museum, Wassenaar, where apparently, something was to be seen by someone. Turns out, ‘someone’ was me, and the ‘something’ in question was contemporary art. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I know less about art than UCU students know about life after UCU, but I’d be damned if I didn’t give it a fair chance. Having been to other buildings filled with stuff anyone could technically make (or dispose of), I imagined myself capable of controlling my pulse for an hour or two of this. I don’t dislike art. I genuinely appreciate masterful pieces that have taken ages to craft to realistic perfection. I appreciate good con-men (i.e. modern artists) as well. If you can find out how to sell a reverse cat cleaning machine to customers who don’t own a cat…fair game to you. However, this exhibition took me on the ruse-cruise of a lifetime. The Scotsman Martin Creed, currently on exhibition, had somehow convinced the museum that his work was worth something, instead of grade school arts and crafts. His main skill is painting basic shapes for money, or arranging items on the ground in some configuration of Rain Man-logic. We got a tour guide, because that’s how we roll. This lad turned out to be a hungover art history student, working for the promise of experience and probably his next warm meal. He showed us round the museum with the enthusiasm of a Hillary Clinton rally, and plopped us down in front of a massive wall displaying thousands of framed colourful prints. The prints all had some kind of stem and wrinkly-looking, rounded top, much like a tree split down the middle. My interest piqued; had he made individual prints of human brains? Was this some comment on how, deep down, we’re all just one and the same, living life through a personal lens? How all that matters are your identity and thoughts, those true concepts we all experience and share? It was broccoli. No, that’s not a cool term of phrase the kids use. Apparently, this guy had gone around buying all the broccoli he could in a single day, only to split them down the middle, paint-dip, and press them onto some unsuspecting canvas. Thousands of times. I’ll concede that the sheer amount is impressive, but really, all I could think was “Dude, why…?”. While my grandmother was saying something about it really pinpointing the individuality of flora and all beings that be or whatever, I could play just one scenario in my head. I was imagining this mustachio’d man walking into every supermarket within 30 miles, buying up all the broccoli with the full confidence of a big dick in a locker room. I won’t even make a point of the obvious wastage. To me, it’s just the matter of inconvenience imposed upon others. Now I’m not clued in to the inner workings of supermarkets (being a psychology major though, I might be forced to sometime in the future) but I’d assume this takes broccoli off the dinner table for the next couple of days. In the end though, I don’t suppose any of this really matters. He’s making a living, people are out and about, and I still know nothing about contemporary art. On a serious note, the museum does have some cool stuff you can walk past and go “Oh that’s a thing as well” to, so if you’re ever in the Hague, remember you’re only a short bus ride away from a perfectly average afternoon time-killer.

FILM REVIEW: THE BIG SICK by Daisy Hall

he Big Sick portrays the devastating fallout when a girl is put into a medically induced coma. Her parents struggle to deal with the helpless situation they find themselves in, while her ex-boyfriend Kumail combats guilt and the expectations of his traditionally Muslim parents, as his career in stand-up founders. It’s hilarious. A chance meeting with producer Judd Apatow led to comedian Kumail Nanjiani and his wife, Emily V Gordon, co-writing their own unlikely love story. The film premiered at Sundance, where it was snapped up by Amazon, and it has since been a hit with critics and audiences alike, lauded for its cross-cultural portrayal of modern romance. Its popularity in Trump’s America is a small ray of sunshine in otherwise bleak times. Nanjiani plays himself, while the role of Emily is played by Zoe Kazan. Both give performances convincing enough to make me

concerned about their relationship, despite knowing they would end up as a married writing duo. With Emily comatose for around half the film, however, the supporting roles of her parents become equally important. Holly Hunter plays an initially aggressive matriarch whose developing relationship with Kumail is one of the most beautiful strands of the film. Ray Romano is her husband, and the awkwardness of his interactions with Kumail provide some of the movie’s funniest moments. They are both perfectly cast and are largely responsible for the combination of comedy and poignancy that defines the film. And it is a seriously funny film. Connoisseurs of Apatow’s other works may find his usual blend of painful awkwardness and scatological humour somewhat lacking, but the jokes are consistently good, without distracting from the plot, and do not peter out at the end — as so often happens with romcoms when there is emoting to be done. Wholly enjoyable.

A University College Student Association Magazine

ARTS&CULTURE

WELCOME TO FASHION MONTH by Mathilde Panis-Jones

he time has finally come, for some, for Fashion Month. All eyes are on New York, and expectations are high. While it may not always be so easy to compete with cities like Paris and Milan when it comes to style, this week New York is killing it. 2017 hasn’t been the best year in general, from certain elections to natural catastrophes… but on a slightly positive note, fashion weeks are becoming more and more absorbing, innovative and thought-provoking.

So here are a couple new trends you can expect people to be wearing around campus this fall/winter…fresh off the runway.

Graphic tees and designer monograms are still very prominent and are becoming more and more political. Thank you, Chanel.

First of all, prepare to encounter lots of office wear. Gray plaid will be everywhere. Checks, in any shape, colour or size are very big this winter. Seeing as print mixing and matching is still not out, go ahead and pair your business suit with some black and white polka dots, big or small. Throw in some leopard print while you’re at it.

This season people seem to never leave their house without a hat. Whether it be a classic French beret, that old beanie from your 2013 Facebook profile picture, or a cover for your beer-from-last-night’s-partycovered hair. From faux fur to oversized puffy padded jackets, to classic trench coats, to extreme layering, you can be sure you’re not going to get cold while walking those 100 meters from your room to your class. Your mom would be proud. Color-wise: expect to see many red statement pieces such as shiny boots, trendy baseball caps, timeless yet classy lipsticks, and fur coats. Chromatic black and blue, as well as sterling silver, should be in all of your closets as well. On a more amusing note, take out your dad’s old prom jacket because shoulder pads are back! So are Canadian Tuxedos. Yay! Good news for lazy-asses and couch potatoes: stay in your sweatpants! As Fenty Puma by Rihanna, Paul&Joe and many others have proven, 80s sweats are back. Or they were just never gone. As for guys: male cleavage! Padded jackets! Red! Hats! Tracksuits! Leather trousers?! Fleece! Overall way more comfortable, affordable and practical clothes than women!

JUST PLEASE LIKE ME by TJ (Claire Querio)

he best thing about Please Like Me, an Australian TV show with eight awards to its name, is that it defies explanation. At the same time, nothing like anything else and a perfect representation of life. To be less vague, let’s take the pilot episode as an example. It opens the four-season show in characteristic fumbling grace, with Josh, the creator and star of the show, sharing a nineteen-dollar sundae with his girlfriend. In the first minute and a half of the show, Claire has suggested they break up and that Josh is “probably gay.” Thirteen minutes into the episode, Josh has made out with a boy and awkwardly spooned with him. Scenes like this — balancing on the edge of cringey and realistic — are the bread and butter of this show. The show has a comforting aesthetic, but at the same time, matterof-factly deals with heavy issues such as suicide, homophobia, depression, and anxiety. Other topics include being an adult in the 21st century, what “mature” actually looks like, and understanding how to appreciate life in its minutiae. The show represents life, not in big moments, but as a tapestry woven with all types of moments, momentous and boring, humiliating and loving. Most importantly, the show incorporates real-life — Josh and Tom, the stars, play characters similar to themselves. Also, the two main recurring animals, $haniqua the Rabbit and John the Dog, play themselves in the show. Josh plays, well, Josh, and all char-

acters simply are. Josh is Josh; Tom is Tom; Alan is Alan. While they have excellent character arcs and well-developed backstories and are wholly multidimensional characters, they are so in the same way as the people around us. The show doesn’t intend to describe the characters in every minor detail; instead it’s often that watching the show is like living the show, simply because we hardly ever learn more about the characters than we might if they were a part of our lives, or if we had a fairly long conversation with them over dinner. The icing on the cake is the music. The theme song, ‘I’ll Be Fine’ by Clairy Browne & The Bangin’ Rackettes, is not only beautiful but is often temptingly accompanied by a montage of food preparation or consumption, in which the characters sing along. The score is bouncy and delicate but somehow blends effortlessly into the deeper, heavier scenes. The music is unobtrusive, and yet an important part of the show, much like it can be in real life. Characters are developed through song — Tom has “sad music” (“Higher Love” by James Vincent McMorrow), Arnold sings “Chandelier,” and at one point they sing “Someone Like You” to commemorate the passing of a chicken. The show is lighthearted and sad, hilarious and cringe-worthy, and poignantly realistic throughout all four seasons. The romance is adorable, the jokes well-timed, and the storylines fresh and relatable. Watch it at least long enough to get to “Ham” (Season 2, Episode 2). Trust me, it’s worth it.

The Boomerang | September 2017

QUAD QUERIES QUAD QUERIES

“What’s your weirdest unit experience so far?” — in one sentence

“Flushing someone else’s shit down the toilet” - Anahi

“Had dinner on the roof of K” - That dude who doesn’t even go here

“I got caught almost naked in my room by a painter”

“I started dating my unitmate within a week and we’ve been together for 1.5 years”

- Lizzie

- Vani

“Waking up in the shower, naked, with three of my unitmates convincing me to go to bed” - Maarten

“I lived in top G. At some point a massive piece of lasagna appeared in my rain gutter.” - Floris

the and fell down tire en e was drunk “My unitmatstaircase and broke the Kromhout thing” - Zon

“I almost ca lle I thought the d 112 while high becaus e soybeans I ha were toxic” d just eaten - Adam

“One girl keeps baby mice in her fridge because she needs to feed her snake”

“the toasted sandwiches fucked me up as an exchange student” - Saskia

- Carmen

EDITORS Ben Maxwell Bowles Louis Stapleton English Saskia Jane Heyster With support from