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Boomerang Illustration © Amu Endo

May 2019

The UCSA through the years by Meike Eijsberg

Today we celebrate the 20th birthday of the University College Student Association. A reason worthy of a big celebration on the quad. But what happened throughout the past 20 years? In order to find out, I contacted a handful of former UCSA board members and interviewed them about their days at this beautiful campus. So whilst you soak up the sunshine and enjoy your examfree days, take this opportunity to read up on your UCSA history. Who knows, you might learn something new.

about it: a lasting contribution to the accessibility of UCU.” When the day finally arrived, it was without doubt a success. A lot was organized: a symposium, a fair, parties and a Lustrum book commemorating 5 years of the UCSA. Joris recalls a particular event: “I remember wrestling the BarCo Chair in sumo suits during the fair. I forgot who won.”

Humble origins It all started in September 1998. Although UCU had only opened its doors a few months prior, several committees had already been set up. None of them had budget, and had to personally request it via College Hall. But the number of committees was increasing which made it nearly impossible for College Hall to evaluate every single budget request, whilst doing its regular work at the same time. Five individuals, Maarten Stikkelman, Carolien van Oene, Simcha Jong, Joeri Maas and Lara Yocarini, therefore came up with the bright idea that these various committees needed a group that would coordinate them. After pitching the idea to College Hall and sorting out the statutes, the first UCSA board was then officially born on April 1st, 1999.

Upholding the tradition Fast forward ten years and things are looking a little bit different. The UCSA is still a young teenager, at 15 years old, but is growing into a bigger and better institution every day. In these days, every Kromhout unit still had its own laundry and dryer, Sodexo had just taken over from Eurest as caterer, the clock tower was emptied due to asbestos, and Maarten Diederix turned the football field into an ice rink when it froze. The 2013/2014 board, chaired by Sil Boedi Scholte, implemented a lot of policies that are still visible today. The standardized budget form for committees, for example, was introduced that year along with the custom to share the entire collection with all students. That was not all. “We made big changes to the statutes and the policy manual together with the students during one of the longest General Assemblies ever, in order to shift more power from the UCSA board to the students,” Sil explained.

A first-time celebration The first Lustrum was a grand one. A special committee was set up to help organize this celebration. Not only did the current UCSA board

at that time contribute, but so did the previous one. Joris Wiemer, chair of the 2003/2004 UCSA board remembers: “Claire Stamrood, treasurer of Board Year 2002/2003, chaired this committee. This made a lot of sense, as the board of 2002/2003 had laid a lot of groundwork for the Lustrum, including a basic outline and a budget for activities to be organized throughout the year.” A special General Assembly was even organized to discuss the Lustrum budget. But as the celebration date was drawing closer, the UCU community started to realize that a lot of money was being spent on all these various activities. “A heated debate ensued, triggered by a Boomerang article actually,” Joris explained. “There were divergent expectations, both intercultural and interpolitical, on how extensively to celebrate the Lustrum.” The discussion sparked a debate about what was important to the people that would be celebrating the Lustrum. In the end, it was decided that a part of the budget would be allocated to the scholarship fund. Joris was definitely happy with it: “A great outcome if you think

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UCU versus UCU 2

A course (evaluation) of our own

Bar brawl: board trips

Groupthink at the GA Journalism in Mexico

Curriculum Planning 9

The Boomerang | May 2019

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Dear campus,

It’s the last edition of the year! I’m not going to lie: it’s making me a tad emotional. I can barely remember what life at UCU looked like without being part of this board. In fact, I think I’ve only ever read two editions that I didn’t help put together because, back then, the Boomerang only came out once it had enough articles. Look at how far we’ve come! The final edition of the year is always an exciting one: its full of third years making use of their last chance to either write or illustrate. This usually results in the most odd collection of articles. Topics in this edition range from falling cats and teeth to student-led honors course experiences and journalism in Mexico. In addition to these, we have a handful of Blackout articles! From what we have noticed over the past two years, these submissions tend to come in three categories: hilarious roasts, critical pieces, and heartfelt dedications. This edition has a mix of all: an election roast on the cover, a critique about the Notre Dame on page 2, and a ‘Lonely Hearts Spread’, on pages 4-5. Here, we placed all the articles of various lonely people together, to show that they’re actually not alone. Putting together the numerous editions requires a dedicated board. Throughout the years, I’ve worked with many incredible individuals, some of whom have long left UCU. I thank all of them, as well as all the many writers and illustrators. But I remain particularly grateful to the current, and my last, board. Charlotte, thank you for your unprecedented devotion and your valuable journalism insight. Sven, thank you for your never ending sarcastic humor and making everyone laugh. Campus will miss your columns. Thomas, thank you for your loyalty, for always being reliable and for putting up with our “Thomas Tortellini” jokes. Lotte, thank you for being the down to earth person you are and, of course, for your many dedicated hours behind the screen making each edition look more beautiful than the previous one. Iris, you only joined the board this semester, but you have shown your commitment in more ways than expected, thank you! And last but not least, Jamie, thank you for your passion and for always (playfully) harassing people to take a copy. I’ll never forget the time you casually knocked on James’ window. As cheesy as it sounds, I am hereby ‘handing over the pen’ to the new editor-in-chief, Saskia Vrensen, who I’m sure will do a marvelous job. Although I already welcomed some new names in the editorial of the previous edition, I hereby officially present the Boomerang Board of Fall 2019: Editor-in-Chief | Saskia Vrensen Managing Editor | Maya Homsy King Executive Editor | Ivan Ryan Executive Editor | Rafaela Karadsheh Layout Director | Artöm Obenko Art Director | Iris Beijer PR & Tech | Julia Silveira I’m excited to see what you guys have in store for next year. Please save me a copy :) I will miss this. Yours sincerely one last time, Meike Eijsberg Editor-in-Chief

UCU versus UCU

ometimes our ideals get in the way of achieving them. The American obsession with freedom leaves millions with no opportunity to make use of it, and I see a similar dynamic at UCU. In your first weeks of the semester it becomes clear that the “you are here to fail” mantra is nothing but a platitude and that we take this whole “honors” college quite seriously. My problem is not that obsession with excellence and the excessive workload are bad per se. Sure, stress damages our physical and mental health. Instead, my point is that UCU’s pursuit of excellence actually makes it harder to realize that ideal. The ideal of excellence and intense studying undermines itself in its excess. Let’s be honest here: Who does their readings at this point in the semester? I don’t, at least not all of them. If I do, it’s so I don’t get caught off guard in the next class, or because I need the information for a paper. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to do my readings, I just don’t have the time and energy. I am inclined to blame myself, but most people I know don’t do their readings either, which makes me suspect that there is something larger going on. However, it goes beyond just not having enough time to meaningfully engage with your academics. The psychology of scarcity can actually teach us a lot – or rather it can highlight certain experiences that I recognize in my life. The biggest one is myopia: short-sighted thinking. The demands of the present override those of the future, making the future goals even harder to reach. That does not just mean that we get started on an essay quite

Correction

by Gideon Frey

late, or that we only have the ability to focus only on the upcoming 2-3 days. I believe it is more notorious than that: UCU, as a place where you can figure out what it is you can do with your life, loses that potential with this need for excellence. Besides what one would consider to be traditional academic excellence, campus life is what makes this UC special. The ability to explore your interests and be part of a community was, at least for me, a major reason for coming here. Then again, who the hell is going to try out a completely

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Let’s be honest here: Who does their readings at this point in the semester?

new committee if you know that you’ll have to spend the better part of the night in Voltaire? Now, I hear my inner Jordan Peterson slapping me for my defeatism. I should stop whining and take some responsibility for my actions. Sure, that’s how I end up coping with it, but that does not take away from such a critique. I don’t believe UCU would be better if it were a lot easier. Mediocrity is not the answer, but I think there is an acute need for rethinking how we define such a vague ideal.

by UCSA Board

The April issue featured an article by Caleb Meyer on the funding of student committees. This article mentioned that the UCSA pays for student lawyers. While this is not completely untrue, the UCSA has asked us to explain how this funding works: The UCSA is a member of Vidius. Vidius is an overarching student association in Utrecht. UCSA pays them a small fee every year which keeps us a member. Vidius does many things; amongst others, they represent student needs to the Universiteit Utrecht and the municipality. One of the other things they provide is a small organisation which consists of law students that can give legal advice to student associations or students in general. These students are volunteers. The UCSA therefore does not directly pay for student lawyers.

A University College Student Association Magazine

Sil was also part of organizing the 3rd Lustrum. Together with a great big team of students, the UCSA board organized what would be called the “UCSA Spring Festival.” The celebrations would last for one weekend, with the Inter-UC tournament taking place on Saturday (which UCU won) and the festival on Sunday. Sil: “This was great, since many students from the other UCs stayed over to celebrate our Lustrum together with us.” There was music, dance, theatre, tours around campus, and local food producers providing catering for free. “We even built a big bar outside!” Sil said. “On top of that, we had a sunny day, so it was a big success.” Overcoming new challenges Today we celebrate the 4th Lustrum, organized by the 2018/2019 board. Main organizers Max Sanders, Megan Chalcraft, and Pip Jones have been planning this event for a while. Max recalls: “I’ve been thinking about it since September when I went to a campsite where I got the idea of having a giant festival outside,

BUBBLE

followed by a party and then a sleepover in this beautiful place. That was the beginning of the idea pool.” Throughout the year, ideas started flowing and festivities grew bigger. “We’ve actually got a lot of interest from committees wanting to be involved,” Megan said. “This is really lovely, as the UCSA would not function without the committees.” The Lustrum celebrations are also a chance for the current board to reflect upon their year. According to Max, there wasn’t just one highlight, “it’s been a highlightable year.” But the months didn’t pass by without any setbacks. The biggest challenge, according to Pip, was the app. “We were trying to do something new. Half of the people loved it, but others we’re like ‘we hate this, no one uses it!’” But, as Megan indicated, it is truly impressive what a change you can make in a year, if you really try hard and stick with it. Of course, the board hopes that these new policies will remain in place and create new UCU history. “That’s why you run for the UCSA,” Pip

said. “You see what you like and what you don’t like, and you see if you can do anything about it.” Looking forward In five years, the 5th Lustrum will be organized. Although the majority of us will not be at UCU anymore during that time, it’s still important to reflect upon the importance of continuing Lustrum celebrations. “For alumni, it is an opportunity to recognize their contribution, and to see the road travelled since they were on campus,” said Joris. Sil adds that: “It’s easy to forget that the UCSA only exists for 20 years. The campus we have built in all those years is something worth celebrating with all generations that made it to what it is today.” Perhaps, in 2024, we’ll all receive an invitation to return. But until then, we have to make the most of it. In the words of our very own Max: “Yes, the bubble is restricting. Yes, the bubble doesn’t represent real life. But as long as you know that, take these three years to enjoy because life will never exist like this again.”

A course (evaluation) of our own by TJ Querio

his semester, we (eight students from different walks of life) came together to do one of (if not “the”) most utopian forms of education at UCU- we created our own course. Yeah, you can do that! When we started we had no clue what it was going to look like since we all had different passions, but after hours upon hours of discussion, we came to a weird common interest: dichotomies, their narratives and how we can overcome them. The highbrow “honors course” title is deceiving. While it was incredibly challenging to create and keep up with the work, the actual sessions usually challenged the idea of ivory-tower studying: we had potlucks discussing Buddhism and Derrida, and got funky makeup while discussing Judith Butler and drag. The word that should be highlighted in the title is “student-led.” Each class is managed by a facilitator, who has selected the readings and helps keep the discussion as central as it goes. Since every class was less of a lecture and more of a discussion group, we had to learn to keep discussions to the point, and thus our hand-signs were born! Guests were also welcome, bringing in new viewpoints or different perspectives, who were welcome to use the hand-signs and required to do the readings. In a student-led course, nothing happens unless the group makes it happen. And because you’re all in it together, learning to navigate your social dynamics as they take place, you’re so alive and in tune with everything that you can’t help but make it all your own. The atmosphere in our classes is electric, they typically spill over (TJ blocks out a half hour after our time slots because of how often they’ve run over, and how loathe she, like everyone, is to run out on an interesting or important discus-

sion), and they’re wholly and completely ours. To give you an impression of how much we value the discussions we have, our initial punishment of bringing cookies if you were late to class without a reason was replaced when we realized that the punishment for missing a class is that you missed that class. This might sound cult-y but it is just that good! If this all sounds a bit PRy, well, that’s because it is. In the same way you make your friends eat really good food, we’d love for you to get a taste of this education! You can really just study whatever floats your boat, just ask the Honours Director or any of us if you’re interested! We had an incredible experience, and you can too.

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Illustration © Toni Nö

The authors of this article also asked the rest of the group for small quotes about their experience: • Imagine a bunch of nerds philosophizing in a race against time, wondering ‘what is even real in this fucking world?’ and still feeling empowered and fulfilled by the tentative results they arrive at. Hard to picture? Add some mysterious hand signs (including a lot of middle fingers) and the mess is complete :) (Toni) • A collective exercise in questioning the unquestioned. (Mounia) • Overwhelming in the most positive and engaging way. We could have spent the entire year on this. Anything is possible when everything is up for discussion. (Becky) • This has been, without a doubt, the most

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insightful and attentive course I’ve taken. Providing an opportunity to question and challenge one another, as well as ourselves. It has completed, if not made, my exchange at UCU. (Alex) Every class feels like a peek into an amazing ocean of knowledge and I got so frustrated having to move on the next, even more awe-inspiring, subject. 100/10 would do again (Gideon) A semester-long group project might sound scary, but when you all share a common interest and the burden of extrinsic motivation is lightened, discussions flow and friendships form. It doesn’t have to blow your mind… but it might. And here’s the really scary part: I’m more upset about not having this course next semester than I am about my finals for it. That’s the measure of a good course - you dread it ending, not the end itself. (TJ) A wonderful experience of questioning and growth, in which we all got to learn from each other’s strengths and perspectives, so challenging or refining our own. A process of combining thoughts, theories, and ideas that are seemingly worlds apart, allowing us to develop perspectives we could have never thought of before. (Willo) A group process full of energy and enthusiasm with people that truly care about learning! (Sander) Being the ‘supervisor’ of this course was an intense and beautiful learning experience for me. Never experienced better conversations in a classroom. (Gerard)

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Dear UCSA by Alberto Enrique Delgado

uring last month’s UCSA elections it was fascinating to watch candidates wrestle with the problem of “engagement”. How do we get people to come to office hours? How do we get people to come to GAs? It was fascinating because it seemed the candidates had forgotten to ask themselves why they didn’t do these things before running, so the proposed solutions didn’t address the problem at all. I will start with office hours. According the candidates, people don’t attend office hours because the UCSA board is intimidating, the vibe is too formal, and the office is unwelcoming. I don’t think any of these are true. This year’s board was friendly and open to ideas and criticism, their vibe was relaxed, and the office was far more welcoming than the average unit living room. At

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The Boomerang | May 2019

If we were given an opportunity, to discuss among ourselves what the problems are, then a GA would be an opportunity to develop a common understanding

any rate, we’re not all so shy and apathetic as the proposed solutions seem to imply. These ideas assume that people want to go to office hours but don’t because something is stopping them. It begs the question, why would anyone want to go to office hours? Currently, we don’t attend because we don’t know what kinds of things we can talk about, nor what will come of it. If there is any value we can contribute to campus by attending office hours, it is lost on us, so we have no reason to attend. Making the environment more welcoming will change little to nothing. Showing us there is something to do in office hours can change everything. And now for GAs. Why is it bad that GAs have such little attendance? This would be a problem if attending a GA were an enriching experience for attendees and an opportunity to have a positive impact on campus. However, as things stand, most GAs (budget GAs) are rubber stamping ceremonies where nothing of value can be gained or given by attendees. I am glad that only a few students waste their time attending them. Discussing the budget, as was proposed, is a step on the right direction, though it’ll still be a discussion about the budget, which is extremely limiting. If a GA was dedicated to discussing a specific topic—say, well-being on campus; if we were given an opportunity, not merely to ask questions to whomever is on the podium, but to discuss among ourselves what the problems are and what can be done about them; then a GA would be an opportunity to develop a common understanding of what’s going on in this campus and to come up with ideas of what to do about it. This would be an event worth attending. That said, the candidates discuss this because they want input. So, if you are reading this and you have ideas or criticism, please do campus a service next semester and share them with the people in charge, either by going to office hours, sending them an email or contacting them in any other way you can.

“But you approved this”

How the UCSA uses groupthink at the GA to legitimise its expenditures by Jamie March and Lotte Schuengel Note that the following is in no way a criticism of the individuals that constitute the UCSA, but of the system that has been held in place over the years through tradition.

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s BarCo and UCSA get board trips, can committees get a budget for a dinner? For transition?” a third year asked at the Fall 2018 Budget GA. Arguments for and against quickly followed but discussion was stifled by a member of the UCSA board. “I will close the discussion as there really isn’t much point in talking about this now as we have just approved the budget.” Rituals such as the GA give us the illusion of agency and democracy, but in reality it is a way of creating a setting uninviting to criticism because who wants to be the person that stretches this out any longer? By making it an incredibly boring event, it is easy for satire such as the VoteForFreeWine Twitter account to overshadow the real issues. Board suits, board trips, the waste. Everything we vote for is usually accepted with a large majority in favor. Even when you do raise a point against the budget, such as AquiCo did during that GA, (UCSA had changed the amount they would donate to the scholarship fund, apparently without notifying them) their response was “we can meet afterwards to discuss this.” An implicit message to the room: even though Aquico is going to vote against this budget, feel free to

ignore their dissent, ignore the arguments against the budget and blindly vote in favor. Trust us. Turnout at GAs is consistently low, as only a small proportion of the student body comes to vote on decisions that affect their social and academic life here on campus. But why should they when an attempt to dissent is followed by a roadblock? The Boomerang is complicit in this. Not only does VoteForFreeWine provide enough distraction to make questionable decisions go by unnoticed, whenever people start actively asking questions we draw attention to it. It should not be embarrassing to critique or ask questions, and yet the atmosphere of most of the room is one of “get on with it.” It is our responsibility to read up on the budget and keep the UCSA in check, they’re only students after all. But we’re students as well, and saying ‘you voted for this, remember’ is just as much of a scheme as large companies drafting unreadable terms and conditions that you have to agree to, which are easy things to hide stuff in like ‘we’re monitoring everything and selling your data to advertisers so they target you specifically.’ Complain about that - you should have read these. There are structural problems in the democratic engagement between students and UCSA. Students are partially to blame for their apathy, but the culture that permeates the GA is a part of the problem. Disagreement and a request for feedback are asked for with words, but not always through actions.

Response from UCSA by Floris Muller and Zoë de Jonge Dear Campus, For this Boomerang edition, an article was written about the UCSA General Assemblies which raises some fair points, including: (1) Students are not aware that they can raise concerns about the budget before it is voted upon. (2) GAs are long and boring which stops students from raisings concerns. (3) There is not enough space for students to feel involved in UCSA decisions. We agree that these are indeed issues to be addressed; however, they are not always easy to solve. We would like to share our perspective on this but also clarify some details mentioned in the article. This includes the implication that the UCSA intentionally tried to hide the AcquisitionCo incident during the GA by dismissing discussion. However, this was a mistake within our earlier communication with AcquisitionCo alone that we thought was better to solve with them, without holding up the remaining GA. The situation was solved by amendments in the Spring Budget update. Regarding the points raised about the GAs in general: GAs are boring. This requires context, when organising a GA, there are rules stated

in our Policy Manual & Statutes that must be adhered to. These rules ensure all members can voice concerns but also restrict the ease of making sudden decisions that influence all members. Whilst the UCSA is willing to host a GA for 5+ hours in order to ensure every point is discussed thoroughly, it is even less likely that people will attend. Overall, we want to emphasize that structures imposed by the UCSA are not in place to discourage input and take student agency away. We do not present a budget with intentions of hiding details; instead, we ask after each presented slide if there are any comments or questions. In the moment, points are not raised which is something we would love to change but don’t know how. Office hours, an anonymous google form, suggestion box, discussion sessions and approaching us are platforms where you can voice your opinions. A GA is not solely where this can happen. Finally, we would like to encourage people to voice their concerns but do so in ways that offer solutions. This ensures we and the new board feel guided. Whilst we appreciate the feedback from this article, the underlying story and context is lost. Without context, issues appear simple. Overall, please do approach us with ideas that could help make you feel more connected to our association.

A University College Student Association Magazine

BAR BRAWL

Board trips are crucial for an effective UCSA board

There is no need for a board trip at all

by Douwe de Lange

ately, there has been a lot of debate about the UCSA going on board trips. Rather than looking at why these trips are beneficial, the discussion has been about whether it is ‘fair’. As we pay a ridiculously small amount towards UCSA board trips, there can be two types of people who are against it. The first type holds some resentment towards UCSA for not fulfilling their exact wishes and therefore thinks a board trip is not justified in any form. To those people: grow up. The second type is principally against us paying for UCSA board trips, and to those people I want to argue why campus should continue to fund these trips. What makes a well-functioning UCSA board? Let’s be honest, it doesn’t depend on who has the best ideas in their campaigns (because they’re all exactly the same), it depends on whether the board succeeds in continuing the great social atmosphere on campus. What do they need for that? A healthy board dynamic. Such a dynamic makes for a more approachable board, which is beneficial for us to exploit the endless possibilities for organizing events. It also means that the inexperienced people who voluntarily do an incredibly tough job will be more inclined to support each other if someone, for any reason, is struggling with their work or conflicts arise. Naturally then, the least we can do is ask ourselves how we can support UCSA board members to form such a dynamic. Now, I am not saying that all of the UCSA board needs to become best friends in order to function. Serious The least we can do is ask professional ourselves how we can support conflicts can the UCSA in forming a healthy and are allowed to happen in board dynamic a group of six individuals who meet daily and have a lot of responsibilities. However, solving professional problems in voluntary positions is tricky. Unlike professional conflicts where people always have the option to cancel a contract and find another job, those in UCSA cannot. So in the case of a serious conflict they’d have to fix the problem using their personal understanding of each other. And how do you achieve that level of personal understanding? Board trips. Sure, you can have dinners and talk to each other during office hours, but that does not establish anything even close to the connection you develop on a trip where you can truly forget about your responsibilities and spend time solely on getting to know each other on a deeper and more personal level. On a trip, office-talk is left behind and you find out important things about each other that you don’t on a regular day-to-day basis. It is precisely those habits, interests and insecurities that UCSA board members find out about each other on a trip, because they can completely step out of their positions and interact purely as private individuals. It is precisely the deeper understanding of those habits, interests and insecurities of board members that will help establish the mutual understanding and respect the UCSA board needs to find the origin of problems and solve them. To sum up, these board trips are crucial for an effective UCSA board with a healthy dynamic. We pay a very small amount of money (the calculations I have seen estimated a cost of around 60 cents per person for each trip) to recognize and reward the UCSA board’s hard work. But if that is not enough reason for you: the UCSA board needs to be supported, for all our sakes, in being able to form the essential personal understanding required for a well-functioning board.

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by Jarne van der Poel

f you have not heard of the controversy surrounding this year’s UCSA Board trip, or the flaming Facebook thread triggered by it, you have truly been living under a rock. Although the choice of destination made by the 2018-2019 Board was poor and deserved to be scrutinized, they apologized for it and this piece is not about them or about that choice. I would rather use the current salience of the issue to make a more general point to all UCSA boards, past and future. A point only proven by last month’s row: there is no need for a “board trip” at all. The bulk of the UCSA budget (55 thousand euros or 60%) is made up of members’ contributions. College Hall is the second largest source of revenue and they only make up for 17%. Especially when we consider that our contribution fee is mandatory - even for exchange students - we should use this money in a way

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Maybe next year the UCSA can go bowling

that benefits all the members directly. Hence, it does not seem quite right that over 1,400 euros is spent on (transition) trips that are for the board’s own enjoyment. No matter how much a trip to the Mediterranean may clear their heads and improve their output, I don’t see how this trip benefits anyone apart from themselves. This money would, in my opinion, be better off elsewhere. In the scholarship fund, for example. Of course, arguments in favour of a board trip can be offered. The UCSA Board works many hours a week to allocate a daunting budget, be the bridge between all committees, streamline the committees’ work and organise high-quality events. Should we not be grateful to them for their hard work? Yes, I definitely believe their work warrants some kind of reward, but they already receive a “Bestuursbeurs” (Administrative Grant) from the generous hand of Utrecht University, paid to them in installments, the amount of which is determined by the Dean. Furthermore, their 7th Semester is paid for by College Hall. These both seem like fair and sufficient compensations - the same ones ASC receives, by the way. A trip that is 60% paid for by students on top of this, is not necessary. Another argument in favour of a board trip, is that it improves the functioning of the board. Well, call me crazy, but I think six people can work together perfectly well without having been on a far-away trip. A member of ASC told me their board manages fine without having ever been on a vacation together, citing “mental bonding” and “open dynamics” as far more important. I myself, having been secretary of an NGO that involved 20 events and 500 people last year, can also attest that a good working relationship can be achieved without a board trip. Maybe next year the UCSA can go bowling? I promise their work will remain just as high-quality, and I doubt there will be any controversy.

WORLD Keeping it lightheart-ed by Edward Barber

RISE, GOOD PEOPLE!

The ‘them and us’ narrative must end immediately. There is no benevolent elite or divine force that is going to save us from this existential threat.

we to do? Quite simply, this kind of non-violent protest generates publicity. With it inevitably comes notoriety and backlash, but this only increases the chances of real impact on our governments and hence gives us true agency. The ‘them and us’ narrative must end immediately. There is no benevolent elite or divine force that is going to save us from this existential threat. It is the plight of all of humanity; especially us in the first world whose consumption habits have already affected those most vulnerable to the climate fluctuations. It is true that our world systems appear impenetrable, but that is until the seismic shifts occur. Once we perceive that the status quo has indeed shifted we side with the new state of being. We are all subliminally aware of these changing social trends, so let’s be the force of change that others follow! Onwards and upwards.

Stop rebelling, start doing something by Sam de Visser

ately, I’ve had a hard time opening Facebook without being confronted by the now-familiar colours of the Extinction Rebellion (XR). The international non-violent civil disobedience movement, striving for a radical change in climate policy, has made a stormy rise. Everywhere I go, XR seems to follow me: as a sticker on a streetlight, as a major design theme in the UCU Fashion Show, as a Facebook profile pic frame of a friend of a friend. It’s hard to deny the effectiveness of XR’s relentless campaign. The movement seems to have caused some definite political willingness to compromise in the UK. However, my problem with XR is that they seem to be hollow in their constant demand for revolution. I’m not a fan of revolutionary movements or any kind of radical movements. The problem with putting a group of likeminded people together like this is that they can quickly resort to what is essentially ‘circlejerking’: the famous internet analogy of a group of men sitting in a circle, jerking each other off - except in this case, what is being jerked off are mutually shared opinions, with individuals time and time again validating their own viewpoints without ever being confronted with an opposing one. A vital part of the climate change debate is that it is very much a rich people problem, in the sense that the rich have the privilege to combat climate change in the decisions they make. It’s easy to advocate for a higher tax on animal products, but it would be disastrous for those who can’t easily afford products to replace those in their diet. XR in itself is very much a privileged organisation, a Western organisation that rose from developed countries and consists of those who already have the means to compromise for the sake of saving our planet. To truly revolutionise the way we think about and treat the problem of climate change, XR should stop the “circlejerking”. The key to making a difference doesn’t lie in highly educated, high-income people. It lies in the lower educated. The working class. Those who vote for right-wing conservative parties, those who do not wish to pay more taxes contributing to a problem that they are told is not such a big deal. Climate change is a scary thing, easy to close your eyes to if you feel like it - and most people feel like it, because fighting climate change is hard, costly and requires a lot of sacri-

fice. Creating blockades in the streets, vandalising the Shell headquarters, or pretending to drop dead in front of Utrecht Central Station doesn’t win you the support of the people. Opening yourself to debate, listening to those who don’t have the privilege to switch from gas and go vegan, and becoming known as something more than a group of rebellious teens does. Illustration © Claudia Ionita

My final column address will be short but sweet and, I hope, relatively light-hearted. On this campus at least, anyone who has not been made aware of the valiant exploits of the Extinction Rebellion must have been living under a rock for the past few months. This is also now true for vast swathes of the British and Dutch general populations as our planet’s pressing environmental predicament is pushed to the forefront of public discourse by the burgeoning movement. It is high time for the sceptics to drop any ill-informed preconceptions they may have of climate protesters as self-righteous, moralistic, or ‘unwashed hippies’ – yep, you do hear it. Public obstructions and ‘die ins’ are no one’s first choice; it would be wonderful if these desperate pleas were not necessary, but the fact of the matter is that the political class are either unwilling or unable to take heed of the demands for structural change, or they are addressing it at a snail’s pace. So, what else are

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The Boomerang | May 2019

The solution to this problem is not straightforward; making ‘the masses’ listen to your radical climate ideas is virtually impossible. That said, I think there are some ways for XR to be taken more seriously and present itself as more than what seems to be a kid throwing a temper tantrum. Why not put emphasis on the various scientists that are aligned with the

“

XR in itself is a privileged, Western organisation that consists of those who already have the means to compromise for the sake of saving our planet movement, or communicate a higher willingness to compromise than is currently the case? However noble it may be, however desperate the case may be, radical activism isn’t the solution - in the long run, democracy, communication, and debate will and should always win out. Illustration © Lise Derksen

Recipe: Spaghetti with Tomato Yoghurt Sauce by Michelle Verstraaten Ingredients 200-300g spaghetti 1 onion, sliced 2 cloves garlic, sliced or chopped 2 tbsp olives, whole or sliced 2 tbsp tomato paste A few tbsp plain yoghurt

Tip: This recipe is basic and very quick, but you can add vegetables and/or meat of your choice.

Directions 1. Boil the spaghetti in salted water. 2. In the meantime, fry the onions and garlic over a medium low heat, so that they get soft and sweet. 3. Add all the ingredients to the spaghetti while still warm and mix, so that everything gets coated in a creamy sauce. Serves 2.

A University College Student Association Magazine

WORLD

Journalism in Mexico by Saskia Vrensen

xcluding conflict zones, Mexico is the deadliest country in the world for journalists. According to research conducted by the Committee to Protect Journalists (CPJ), 2017 was the year with the most murders, with the official number at six. Since 1992, 48 journalists have been killed in Mexico, 45 have been targeted for murder, and of the 48 murders, 40 went unpunished. Now, these numbers may not sound that devastating. Often, the (very incorrect) image of Mexico is that people are murdered every day at every street corner, because they have a weird haircut or they look like a gringo. Forty-eight deaths, in that imagined context, does not seem so bad. A key issue here is that forty-eight is only the official number. Mexico is a very large country, and the death of a journalist in a small rural town will likely never be reported, let alone investigated and declared a murder. Even worse; a vast majority of suspicious deaths, of journalists or otherwise, are not reported or investigated because the government itself is the perpetrator.

The level of involvement of organised crime or government actors (often one in the same) in these incidences is practically impossible to measure, because of the obvious cyclical nature of this deathly system. If you want to investigate why or how many, journalists are being murdered by the government, chances are you’ll get murdered too. The corruption in Mexico is infamous, and from what I’ve learned living here the past few months, it is embedded into the history and the culture. It is so systematised that, according to a classmate of mine, it will take a revolution to actually rid the country of corruption. An example of this corruption is that many government officials, on literally every level, have ties with organised crime like the narcos. And here is the root of the problem: journalists who risk reporting on any issue involving the narcos make themselves an enemy not only of the narcos, but also of the government. So where does the protection for journalists come from? Obviously not the narcos; they’re not really in that line of work, and apparently not the

President, either. In a press conference this April, President López Obrador told journalists, “If you go too far, you know what will happen.” All of these institutionalised, seemingly unsolvable, corruption problems and their impact on journalists severely limit the freedom of the press in Mexico. The CPJ considers it a global crisis, and we should too. In a fairly globalised, and modernised democracy, journalists still cannot write about the narcos, or even their own government in the formal media without risking their lives. Overall, I suppose I am just glad that this is being published in a small, relatively irrelevant university newspaper, rather than elsewhere, and especially not here in Mexico. Mexican journalists should not be having to consider these things every time they are published, and the government should not be forcing that situation upon them. This may be obvious to us, but I guess the Mexican government needs to hear it; debéis parar la matanza de periodistas. (Google Translate it.)

Don’t shoot the messenger by Meike Eijsberg

o many of you, May 3rd was just another Friday. Perhaps you woke up, possibly hungover, just in time to attend your 11AM class. Perhaps you resurrected from a night of studying in Voltaire. But in the meantime, 174 journalists spend that day jailed for the simple act of reporting the truth. May 3rd is the day to raise awareness about these individuals and the media environment they live and report in: it’s World Press Freedom Day. The importance of press freedom Freedom of the press is the principle that communication and expression through various media should be considered a right to be exercised freely. It’s important because a free press monitors the actions of the government and therefore plays a vital role in informing citizens about public affairs. Unfortunately, this right is not globally recognized. In fact, media independence is under threat in every region of the world. According to Reporters Sans Frontières (RSF), who publishes the World Press Freedom Index every year, only one fourth of the world falls within the ‘good situation’ or ‘satisfactory situation’. In percentages, that means only 9% of humankind lives in a country where press freedom is ‘good’. Violence and abuse The bad news is: things are not improving. In the worldwide movement away from democracy, the most vulnerable institution, arguably, is the free press, and the most disposable people are journalists. Daniel Pearl, Marie Colvin and Jamal Khashoggi are only a few of the 1148 journalists killed in the last 20 years. Most of you will probably also remember the Charlie Hebdo attacks of 2015, when 9 media workers of the French satirical magazine were killed and several others were wounded. These figures are increasing, whilst the number of headlines are decreasing. A worsening worldwide issue Journalists are not only being targeted by terror-

Illustration © Sandra van der Meer

ists or in war. All over the world, press freedom is deteriorating due to factors such as rising populism and expanding authoritarianism. Take the United States for example. As of 2019, the country has joined the ranks of ‘problematic’ countries. The reason? A certain faketanned, blondhaired President, known for his

description of the media as: “fake news,” or “alternative facts.” Trump has not only attempted to block White House access to multiple media outlets, but his expressive opinion of the news has led to a considerable decrease in media trust. Even here in the Netherlands press freedom is deteriorating. According to a NVJ (Dutch Union for Journalists) survey, 392 of the 638 journalists (61%) who completed the survey, have been confronted with threats in their professional practice in recent years. Nevertheless, the Netherlands still resides in the top-5 of the World Press Freedom Index. The situation elsewhere is much worse. In India, for instance, journalists critical of Hindu nationalism are subject to online harassment campaigns, and 6 of them have been murdered. It’s worse in Mexico, which is considered the world’s deadliest country for the media. Here, many deaths are not even reported because the government is usually

behind it. In Russia, the state owns and excessively controls more than 60 percent of the country’s 45,000 registered local newspapers and periodicals. China is another extreme case, known for its relentless censorship. The CCP and the government continue to maintain ultimate authority over all published, online and broadcast material. Officially, only state-run media outlets have government approval to cover CCP leaders or other topics deemed “sensitive.” Prospects and solutions Are there any solutions? According to press freedom NGOs, such as RSF and the Committee to Protect Journalists, there is hope. They regularly organize campaigns to raise awareness and constantly lobby various international bodies. Ultimately, their goal is the creation of United Nations Special Representative for the Safety of Journalists. In the meantime, these NGOs are also assisting journalists directly by providing bulletproof vests and helmets for those who are entering a high risk environment. RSF has even created a safety guide for these reporters, as well as an online survival kit to teach how to circumvent censorship. Although these actions and campaigns are truly wonderful, what we need above all are courageous reporters to continue pursuing the work they do. Just last week, two journalists from Reuters were released from Myanmar, bringing the aforementioned number down to 172. Wa Lone and Kyaw Soe Oo spent 500 days in prison and were finally cleared after a presidential amnesty. Will they stop reporting? No. In fact, Wa Lone told reporters he can’t wait to go back to the newsroom. What can you do? Previously mentioned NGOs always accept donations and so does your country’s journalist union. Contribute, and support those who risk their lives to bring us the truth.

The Boomerang | May 2019

ARTS&CULTURE

Throw your cat off the 10th floor, not the 8th by Iris Beijer

Illustration © Iris Beijer

ats are the ninjas of the animal kingdom. They climb up trees like a squirrel, roam rooftops more sure-footed than you and I do on a flat surface, and most importantly: they always land on their feet. And this is a good thing too, for cats have the incredible ability to focus all their attention on whatever interests them at the moment. One bird flies by, and our ninja walks right off the balcony. Luckily, no matter how they fall, cats can turn their bodies mid-plummet, land on their feet and continue walking like nothing happened. This works like a charm up until about the 5th floor. A fall from higher than that will injure or even kill our furry ninja. But here’s the weirdest part: cats falling from the 9th floor and higher are more likely to survive. This interesting phenomenon is due to the stimulus and duration of the righting reflex. This reflex makes a cat correctly orient their body whilst airborne and stick their paws out towards the ground, so that they land ready to pounce again. However, because they land with their feet slightly splayed apart, the impact of a fall from higher stories will cause head and pelvis injuries. So why are chances better from 9 floors and up? The cat’s righting reflex is initiated by the sensation of a weightless moment. This is comparable to that feeling when you are in an elevator that goes down, and you suddenly feel like you’re lighter. When a cat experiences this during a jump or fall, its instincts kick in and the righting reflex is initiated – the reflex that causes the injuries to head and pelvis upon high-impact landing. The sensa-

tion of falling will the reflex. However, if now falls from even say, the 9th floor, instincts kick it takes so long cat to fall, that reach terminal velocity.

sustain the cat higher, the same in, but for the it can

This means that the cat will no longer accelerate, and the sensation of falling is taken away. This sounds unlikely, but compare it to sitting in a train: once it reaches a constant speed, you stop feeling like you’re actually moving at considerable speed. When this happens to the falling cat, its righting reflex will disappear. It will fall like we would: chaotically tumbling, limbs swaying in random directions. Sounds bad, but from that height, it is actually better not to land flexed, and more cats survive this way. Now, I don’t recommend throwing your cat at all, but if you are ever in the situation where all of a building is on fire except for the 8th and 10th floor, now you know to throw Mr. Mittens from the 10th. Why is this relevant you ask? Well, apart from the obvious cat-lifesaving practical applications, isn’t knowledge for the sake of knowledge what we are all here for? Maybe next time we’ll talk about why it is that ants survive a fall from the 12th floor and elephants don’t.

Powered by ! Town & Gown 19 May @ ACU Decolonising Knowledge Presentation 23 May @ Filmcafe Grounded X Filmcafe Fundraising/pre-party. 24 May @ Kromhout Military Base EU Money for climate, not weapons! Protest

Agony aunt

28 May @ Studium Generale Universiteit Utrecht Speaking truth to power Lecture 13 June @ Marinus Ruppertgebouw Mind the Brain symposium 2019 Lecture

Dear Auntie, I’m starting to get involved with a boy, but we only see each other occasionally. I enjoy taking and sending nude photos and would really like to exchange them with him, but how do I get this started? Do I just send one out of the blue? Won’t it freak him out if I straight up ask him? And how safe should I be in terms of showing my face? I trust him completely, but it remains tricky. In short: what is the etiquette around nudes? The etiquette around nudes you say – Charlotte Brontë would be turning in her grave. But yes, we are in the 21st century and nudes are a part of it. I think it’s really great that you love taking nude photos – go you, body confidence, woohoo! But yes, it is difficult to decide where someone stands on the topic when it’s quite early days. Generally, I’d say, who doesn’t love a nude? But you do need to be careful, even when you trust the person you’re sending them to. When you want to see how cold the ocean is, you’d never dive in head first, would you? (For the sake of this argument please pretend to not be someone that does this.) Firstly, you’d dip a toe in and if the temperature meets your satisfaction you would gradually stroll in until you were completely submerged. Now, imagine this ocean is the act of sending nudes. You need to literally test the waters. Start by getting a little bit flirty. If you communicate by pictures usually, then ramp it up a gear. If you don’t, then start it. It is good to work out how they communicate in pictures generally. Do they refuse to reply with their face and just send a picture of their laptop screen? Do they show you their double chin in all its pride and glory? Or, do they use those god-awful dog filters that should have stayed in 2016? Once you already have some pictures being exchanged, then you can start to get things going. Start by showing a little more skin in your pictures, then perhaps “accidentally” spill some ketchup on yourself in a really inconvenient place and show them. Whatever you feel comfortable doing, just roll with it. And if they also start to get a little bit flirty, then you’re on the right track. It all comes down to doing what you feel comfortable doing and making sure you trust your gut instinct. Sending a nude could open up a whole world of “nuding” for the two or you. On the other hand, it might not be their thing but then at least you’d know. Just remember that once you send a photo, it’s out of your control so I would always be wary of showing your face. But hopefully this person is mature enough to respect your privacy, and if you trust them like you say you do, it should be fine. I bid you good luck on your quest. In need of advice? We will post a link where you can anonymously submit what troubles you, so watch out for that!

A University College Student Association Magazine

The never-ending frustrations of curriculum planning by Ivan Ryan

here are many reasons to study clearly beneficial for students (especially Liberal Arts and Sciences – monolinguals) to study another language, from the diverse subjects on it can be frustrating to fit all of this into the offer to improving your employ- six semesters spend here. ment prospects. Unfortunately, Another factor that can complicate your the vast array of courses on offer does mean curriculum planning is going on exchange, as that it is difficult and sometimes impossible this can take away a valuable semester from to sample everything you might be inter- UCU courses. Having to get your courses ested in. There is a chance you could take a accepted by your tutor and the exam board class in your second or third year that you to count towards a specific track and major realise you love – but there is not enough takes time and does not always turn out as space in your course plan to complete other you would expect. The 7.5 ECTS minimum modules in the track as part of your major also complicates things when studying or minor. Although a degree in Liberal Arts outside of Europe, so extensive planning and Sciences is meant to be flexible, there is needed if you intend to work on some are certain aspects of your requirehere at UCU that ments whilst on make it chalexchange. This is lenging to expeespecially diffiAlthough a degree in Liberal rience an entirely cult for first years Arts and Sciences is meant to adaptable curricplanning to go on be flexible, there are certain ulum. exchange in their aspects here at UCU that make fourth semester, The compulsory courses for it challenging to experience an as they are likely all students are entirely adaptable curriculum to be unsure about an example of the which tracks and rigidity that limits requirements they the freedom of our have to complete degree. Although useful and necessary for before graduating. future study and employment, the number Thankfully however, with the substanof required modules is a nuisance when tial work ASC has been doing surrounding trying to plan your studies. The system curriculum flexibility, there is hope for the arguably works better for Science majors future. By changing the requirements for compared to Social Science and Humanities graduation, it will be easier for students majors, as they participate in their compul- to shape their studies. The DIY interdissory lab courses during both the winter ciplinary curriculum offered by UCU can and summer terms rather than during only benefit from increased freedom in the regular semester. However, Science curriculum planning, and many students students also have to take a maths course, choose to study Liberal Arts and Sciences limiting curriculum-space for other classes. for just this reason. Perhaps by offering The language course requirement also more compulsory modules in summer takes valuable time away from students, and winter term (such as the language and especially those who have to culture courses), it would become easier to complete two language courses take all the courses you would like to as well due to being monolingual. as having the opportunity to explore some Although it is you otherwise would not be able to.

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sweet svensations

BUBBLE

Eternal snaggletooth by Julia Silveira

“A

ren’t you a little young to have broken teeth?”, I was asked time and time again, throughout my entire summer in 2017. I guess so? I don’t know? My molar broke almost as soon as the summer began, right after graduating high school. I’d gone back to Brazil to visit my family and, needless to say, they were all overjoyed with the fact I managed to spend most of my time there in a dental clinic. None of this was covered by insurance, so I ended up spending hella money and hella time fixing this one tooth that no one would ever even see. You can imagine my frustration when, a little over six months later, my tooth broke again. I was fuming. I was ready to unleash my wrath on all dentists or anyone remotely related to the dental profession. I shamelessly disregarded my (once again) broken tooth for longer than I’d like to admit. Fixing it stopped being a priority. Having started my first semester at UCU, I felt I was incredibly busy and thought I did not have time for trivial things like making a dentist appointment. I lived through several months in blissful negligence, unwilling to put myself through yet another traumatic dental experience. My eventual visit to the dentist only brought more disappointment and grief. All he did was force a filling into the ever-growing gap and wait for it to solidify while pressing a glowy blue stick into my mouth. The whole procedure took 30 minutes so I sensed it was too good to be true. Sure enough, a week later, my tooth broke again. I went back to the dentist and he told me my problem was not as simple as he’d initially thought. He said my gums were covering a part of my tooth that needed to be exposed for it to be fixed. Dude??? Could he not see this before? Was this man not a trained professional? I was then sent to a doctor specialized in cutting mouth gum so that she could go ‘snip snip’ and make it possible for the dentist to fix my tooth. The whole procedure and treatment cost a little over €400. Again, my basic health insurance does not cover dental fees and I’m not made of money, so I was overwhelmed. Despite all this, my tooth is still broken. My gum no longer covers my tooth, but I haven’t gathered up the courage to make yet another dental appointment. My advice to you? If your tooth breaks don’t go to the dentist, just leave it broken and learn to live with it.

by Sven Bosma

THE EFFECT OF SCALE

ell this is it, my last column, and being my last column, I have to decide how I’m going out. It is very tempting to write another story about my nether regions, but that’s of little use to you readers. I think I’ll go with something inspirational, almost Instagram caption-worthy. What about something like “Nobody knows their true potential because of the effects of scale?” What I mean is that small improvements set the stage for bigger improvements. Say you’re having a hard time getting readings done, and spend hours staring at the wall. Obviously that’s not working, so why waste 8 hours just to read 5 pages and an abstract? Why not break it down? Tell yourself, “I’m going to spend just 5 minutes

reading, I don’t care how far I get.” That’ll be easy, a small enough goal. Next time you try 10 minutes, and that works fine too. Conquering each baby step propels you forward. The lesson learned spills over to writing essays. You’re doing better academically now, so you join a board and get some experience there. This all means you get into a very selective Master’s programme, and boom, you’re already infinitely further than you would have been otherwise. Change begets change, and a 5-minute investment may take you further than you could ever realise. Be careful though, it works both ways. Having a bad habit, or letting small moments of inertia pass without consequence or notice can grow quickly and insidiously. The point here is to not waste time. You don’t necessarily have to be productive,

but make sure you’re doing something. Anything. Have a goal. Relaxing from work is good. Having fun with friends is good. Reading alone in your room is good. Starting a paper weeks before the deadline is good. Just make sure not to go to bed asking yourself what you did all day. Finally, don’t forget that you know people. Not in a threatening “Look at my connections” kind of way, but more in a ‘Learn from each other’ kind of way. Estimates are that you’ll know about a thousand people over your life. If you can teach them one simple lesson in your time, that’s already scaled your mark on the World by a thousand. If they pass it on to all of their connections, your individual mark on the World scales to a million.

The Boomerang | May 2019

QUAD QUERIES CU “What’s on your U bucket list?”

“To go to the Rietveld-Schröder huis”

– Feline

e back of the “Being on th Boomerang” – Cloë

“Kill a

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– Bak

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of D oof erto r e b b th – Al lim

own h

ands”

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Hal

“C

“Be on

the Bo om – Sylv erang board ie ”

“Hang up

the flag of Ze Dining Ha eland in ll ” –V

with MarathonCo “Going on a morning run rs” I’ve been trying for 2 yea

– Timo

icky and S

“Digging

a hole in th e quad” – Folke

“Get paid”

– Thomas

ave”

“Properly le – Paul

“Sleeping with Sv

en Bosma’”

– Manolis

“Fucking gradua

te I guess”

– Marije

With support from Boomerang uses wind energy printers The Boomerang is a periodical newspaper. It comes out eight times a year.

BLACKOUT

A University College Student Association Magazine

Time to process by a friend

Illustration © Iris Beijer

Some of you may figure out the author of this piece as it goes along and that’s fine. I’m writing this as a personal way to get out my thoughts and feelings as I reflect on this school year. To process the tragedy that happened and still very much affects me, although I don’t let it show too much anymore. If you figure out who has written this and want to come talk to me about it, you’re more than free to do so.

s many of you know, tragedy occurred last semester. Shortly into the fall semester, a student on campus decided to end his life. That student was my friend. I met him during introweek, a time when I felt out of sorts with the campus and the people. When I really felt like the foreigner, even among people from my own country. I spied him from across the room and noticed that we were the only ones not drinking alcohol. He wasn’t speaking to anyone, just listening to conversations like I was. As our group moved outside, I went to introduce myself to him, doing the whole introweek spiel of “Hello. Where are you from? Groningen? Lovely!” I suggested a game of 20 questions in order to get to know each other better. I asked him odd questions, ranging from “What animal would you want to be reincarnated as if it was possible” to “What is your favourite Dutch word?” In contrast, he asked more philosophical questions, which was nice since it allowed me to express my thoughts. I felt comfortable enough for once to share my thoughts with someone. The next month and a half was filled with weekly dinners together, deep talks, and pleasant surprises. There was one incident where he managed to sneak into my unit (via my flatmate) and leave me a snack because I was so stressed that week. It was the little things that he would do that caused me to consider him as my best friend here. I didn’t want to lose him from my life because I felt comfortable for once. Of course, this would not be my decision. I still remember the day the news broke. I

remember it in patches. That morning, I was sitting in my flatmate’s room, worried because I hadn’t heard from him in three days. The email from Mark Baldwin came around lunchtime, asking me to meet with him about “urgent business.” I sat on the couch in Mark’s office as he told me the news: Joey was gone. I remember coming back to my room, trying to stop myself from the endless crying that happened in Mark’s office minutes before, only to break when one of my flatmates asked me if I was okay upon my return. I ran. I didn’t want to say it out loud. No one else on campus knew at the time. I didn’t want to be there anymore, in that moment. I slammed the door to my room and just cried. I remember my flatmate in the room next to mine come to check if I was okay. I remember meeting with Mark again an hour and a half later and taking a walk to discuss how they were breaking the news to the rest of campus. I remember one of my introweek sisters seeing me as I was walking with Mark, and she ran to hug me, crying. That’s when I knew that they had sent the email out. I remember sitting on the grass around the quad, just crying with the rest of the family. I remember going to classes the next day, feeling numb in my Clinical Psych class, and breaking down at the beginning of my Intro to Anthropology class. The situation truly hit me hard. The funeral was surreal. The whole situation seemed like one bad dream. I would spend the rest of the semester in a haze, occasionally breaking through it for a moment, only to return. Helping with the planning for the memorial on campus was slightly therapeutic. Scandalously, more therapeutic than

my sessions with the UU psychologist. A large part of me felt so guilty about his passing, I fell into a spiral about how I could have been a better friend to him. I only found reassurance when I had the opportunity to spend some time with his family. Eventually I felt ready to be around others again, and slowly joined campus activities, though it was very difficult. It still is, if I may be honest. I’ve always had trouble connecting with people, so Joey’s friendship came as a large surprise to me. He taught me so many valuable lessons in the short time he was in my life, and I’ll be forever grateful to him. Feeling the pressure of needing to be okay again, I soon put on a mask to appear happy and fine again, when I’m really not. Maybe I was hoping that if I keep this mask on long enough, I’ll trick myself into believing that I’m happy, and not miserable. But the thing with wearing a mask all the time is how tiring it is to keep it on your face. How sometimes you can’t breathe because of all the lies you’ve been telling yourself and others so no one would see how big of a mess you truly are. As this semester winds down, I can’t help but reflect on this school year. All the lovely people I’ve met, so many who I can call my friends, who’ve taught me so many lessons. I am hoping to bring the lessons I learned home with me. Lessons such as how it’s okay to take a pause in life to deal with my mental health, how people can surprise you with their kindness if you ask for their help, and how the best of friends can come from the most surprising of situations.

A University College Student Association Magazine

LONELY HEARTS

Visions of Kennedy: a short story by Not Jamie March This Time I have touched you for the last time Is it a video?

The last time I spoke to the Dean was at the fashion show in the Janskerk. He was nervous for his speech. I had never seen his face this red, even though if I had to pick an ethnicity for him I’d say

Our contact is not as intensive any more as it once was. But from time to time, I run into him and we make wonderful, enlightening conversation. One instance I recall with clarity and fondness, is

an encounter right in front of Dining Hall. I was already two minutes late for my meeting, when he emerged from a secret door hidden in the brutalist construction’s exterior. I was astonished. He had caught my look, and approached me with a targeted pace. I then noticed on my left my crush locking up his bike, and I actually wanted to talk to him. But James Kennedy was already right in front of me and could no longer be ignored. What you should know about James Kennedy and conversations, is that he will often pull the trick of initiating a conversation without a topic. He will make you feel obliged to talk with him, but makes the subject of speech entirely your responsibility. You could say he’s the human equivalent of white boy texts (think: hyd, wyd, sup?, hey, etc.). “Heya,” he said. “Hello,” I said. “How are you?” he said. “Good,” I said. “You’re graduating, right?” he said. I was honoured that he remembered. “Yes,” I said, “I am. Soon.” The strange detail about the choreography of this interaction was in the fact that both of us actually had to be somewhere else. But we just couldn’t resist continuing this deeply interesting conversation. However, our feet were still trying to stay on schedule and we slowly drifted further from each other while rotating 180 degrees around an invisible center. “I actually have to go,” I said, remorsefully. “So do I. We’ll continue this conversation.” We never did.

ames Kennedy is a true American, with a capital A. You may have heard the rumours that the hallway of his house is decorated with framed portrait images of previous US presidents. As a survivor of one of his dinners, I can confirm this. This gallery of handsome men is hard to miss upon entering, and an immediate invitation to converse on the matter. The most important question this wall sparks, is: “Where is John F. Kennedy?” Undoubtedly, many former visitors have asked our Dean this question, and his answer is a beautiful segway to a well-informed discussion on family trees, genetics and last names. “These are only the presidents I am related to.” He will then proudly point out the presence of Barack Obama on that wall, as well as the absence of Donald J. Trump. So much for James Kennedy’s personal achievements. For any other person, to choose their home decorations based on distant relatives that are to varying extents historically significant, would be a bit of a boast, not to mention unnecessary. ‘Tacky’ is a word I also find quite fitting. But in James Kennedy’s house it is paradoxically exactly what you would expect, in hindsight. So is the rest of his interior. However, any judgment on antiques and plastic tablecloths are a matter of taste. I shall refrain from commenting on it (although a thorough assessment of that extravagant living room cupboard is tempting).

he is Bright Pink. I could almost taste the drops of sweat on his forehead. His walking back and forth across the catwalk was making everyone uncomfortable. I don’t remember much about the speech itself. It was very decent, I believe. At the end, he threw himself into the audience and tried to crowdsurf, which failed miserably because he had chosen a part of the crowd that consisted of only fragile elderly people. Nevertheless, he received loud cheering from the share of the audience that had remained unharmed. After the show, I saw him rummaging through the clothing racks, violently pushing aside other students and parents with his elbows. With his eyes closed, he felt every fabric between his index finger and thumb, with a face indicating critical assessment of high intensity. He would take out dresses and hold them in front of his body, then hold them at a distance, to see how the light passed through the textiles. I think I saw him make seventeen bids in total, each 11 euros. I lost sight of him for a while, but then encountered him again at the register, paying for eight garments. One of them was a beautiful silk-like black dress. He proudly dangled it before me. “That’s pretty,” I said. “It’s like I won the lottery,” he said. A manservant came with a silver trolley to collect the garments the dean had acquired. He rolled it all the way to the back of the church’s stage, where a hatch opened and the manservant disappeared. James Kennedy tried to distract me from this suspicious scene by pointing at his watch and screeching that “it was already late” and he “should go before darkness descends upon our age.” He then ran out of the Janskerk into the pitch black night, and I never saw him again.

Full Disclosure; Perspectives and Realisations by Adrienne

arrived back to my unit quarter past five. I rush to my room to set my schoolbag down. Collapsing onto my bed, I open up snapchat. 6 messages from people. I open up the ones from my close friend. “Hey!!! Are you coming to the musical?” I double tap my screen to respond to her. “Jaaaaaaaaaa!” I send it to her and receive a new snap a few moments later of just her face and a thumbs up. I look through the rest of the snaps I received before looking at the time. One and a half hours until I have to meet up with someone to have a quick dinner before we head off to the musical. I debate on how to use my time, deciding to use it the only way one could: with music. Soon I found myself at the venue after a nice dinner and short journey to the theatre. My ticket gets ripped to check me in and within the next half hour, I find myself seated in the middle of the crowd. I debate on my next move. Am I ready for what I’m about to see? Perhaps. Perhaps not. My head leans towards the opinion that I am prepared. The lights dim, people scream, the music begins. My heart braces. No. No. I am not prepared. The first character comes out, and soon the second. They begin the song and dance, and more of the

Addams family characters enter the stage. Soon, there’s a spotlight as a character does her monologue and my breath hitches in my throat at the mention of HIS character’s name. Suddenly he’s there, looking better than anything I could ever imagine. I push down my feelings, but I cannot shake the thought of him as the show progresses. Each time his character is on stage, I’m mesmerised. I’m mesmerised by his acting, by his singing, and by him. HIM. Many thoughts swirl around my head and conflicting emotions arise in me. He kisses his love interest and my heart sinks. A tear slips down my cheek without me even realising that tears had welled up in my eyes. How could I not notice my vision becoming blurry? A mystery. As soon as it started, the musical was over and the cast were taking their bows. A sad smile (but a smile nonetheless) appears on my face. I clap with the rest of the audience. The production was beautiful after all. I can’t take my eyes off of him. I contemplate walking over to him. To congratulate him on a job well done. But I can’t find the strength to. So I don’t. I don’t approach him. I stare for a few moments longer and decide to just leave. I’m stopped by stage crew as I make my way slowly through the crowd of people, wondering if I enjoyed the show. I smile and tell them that I

did. That I wish I could come back to see another show, or relive that night. I excuse myself and begin my journey home. It’s a silent journey but it allowed me to think. Process the situation I have found myself in. Unfortunately, being lost in my thoughts causes me to nearly hit someone on their bike. It momentarily snaps me from my thoughts, but soon I’m back in them. As I make my way home, I find myself humming some of the songs from the musical. Memories of the night flash through my head. Mainly the scenes where he is in it. I can’t shake the feeling away, and my emotions begin to spiral. Fear, sadness, anguish, hopelessness, and acceptance. I came to a conclusion by the time I settled down in my bed, closing my eyes and thinking once more about the hole that I’ve found myself in. How odd that this happened with someone I barely know. Someone I only knew in passing. Someone who could never like me. So I’m sure you’re wondering: What was the conclusion you made? I think I’m in love with someone I shouldn’t be in love with because he could never love me back. Full Disclosure.

LONELY HEARTS

The Boomerang | May 2019

Sad Love by Drowned Fish

wanted to get my thoughts out on this “problem” of mine. It’s a personal problem, one that shouldn’t exist, yet it does. I am in love w i t h a gay boy. That’s right. You heard it correctly. I have feelings for a gay boy, in typical UCU fashion. I don’t intend to act on these feelings, as it would be pointless. Even I know that. But have you ever been in love with someone you know you shouldn’t be in love with? Someone you know will never reciprocate your feelings? Go to classes everyday, sitting through lecture after lecture with them in the room, and you can’t breathe because everything they do— imperfections and perfections— causes you to fall in love with them more and more each day. But you know that they will never return those feelings (and you never expect them to, because that would be selfish of you), and you feel like all the air around you in this bubble suddenly disappears. Each time I’m near him, I silently wish for a small kiss to appease my selfish heart. How his smile brightens my day when I see it. How his voice has a surprising calming effect on me. How he is everything I have ever said about my ideal boy— from personality to physical features to how passionate he can get to his caring nature that I’ve seen him show to everyone. Alas, I could never voice any of this out loud to anyone because he doesn’t need to know how desperately in love I am with him. I would never impose myself upon him either. I want him to be happy in life, even after we part ways. But I can never help the feeling of sadness that pools in my stomach every time I see

him. The sudden anxiety and loss of air when he’s around. It’s always a mixed atmosphere when he’s in the same room as me. It gets overwhelming at times. I feel like something is wrong with me for being unable to let go. I feel terrible about how I feel to the extent that I end up crying in the privacy of my room. Then I feel terrible about feeling terrible and so the cycle continues. Whenever I see him around campus, I can’t help but be overtaken by these emotions. Be asphyxiated by them because the person I’m in love with is someone I never stood a chance with. So I just turn away and do what I always do. Take a deep breath and ignore my sinking heart as I continue to accept that I am a

girl who is in love with a gay boy. So. Dear Boy Whom I Will Never Have, You are beautiful, both inside and out. You’ve grown incredibly this year. I hope that you continue to blossom into even more of an amazing human being. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavours and I look forward to seeing where you end up after we all leave this bubble. You have so much talent that it’s incredible. Keep on smiling and making everyone’s day better with your sunny disposition. Sincerely, a hopeless girl

Wow that term sounds like something a teenager would say. Honestly, this is making me more nervous than I thought it would. Even if it is an anonymous one, an anonymous love letter is very stressful letter to write. I promised I would write this though, so here goes. Hey. I think you’re pretty amazing. I didn’t really pay much attention to you until now. It’s crazy how much you pop into my head nowadays. It’s an uncomfortable amount of times. Of course I knew you existed before. I saw you around a lot but then something happened and now I can’t stop staring at you if we’re in the same room together. I think the turning point in my attention on you changed when I first saw you on the football pitch. I didn’t know you were a goalie in football and it was cool seeing you in action with your position. My heart skipped and I had to hide the blush from my mate, who I knew would have taken the piss out of me if he saw. Luckily I don’t think he did, or at least he never brought it up. It’s weird though, innit? One day you don’t particularly care about someone’s existence, and then the next day you fancy them. Feelings are strange. I’m still trying to process everything. After that day, it was as if I saw you everywhere I went. On Facebook, I’d randomly see you in my suggested friends. I’d see you randomly walking past me at DH. I’d see you walk into my classroom, but that’s normal since we have class together. The other day, someone was hyping you up and all I could do was roll my eyes because

As you are all quite aware, there is tacit knowledge on this campus regarding the UCU boys. Super Sticky Surfaces has commented on it. People on the UCU Confessions page have posted about it. Everyone knows. But what do they know, you may ask? Quite simply put, the (vast majority of) boys on this campus appear to be 1) gay, 2) in a relationship, or 3) single but convinced that they are incredibly desirable, thinking they can get any female on campus to sleep with them. I am not saying that ALL the boys on campus are like this. I am just going based on those I have met and spoken to. “So what?” you may ask. “They are living their best life!” I know. I recognise this and I do not care much about it. I support them. So what is the conundrum, you may ask? This is more of a personal conundrum, the more I think about it. The dilemma of this situation is that I cannot, as a female, speak to a male on this campus without someone coming to me later and saying, “You know he is gay right?”, “You know he has a girlfriend/boyfriend right?”, “Are you two dating?”, or the classic, “He is just trying to get into your pants. You are falling into his trap.” I just would like to clear the air: Yes, I am talking to someone of the opposite gender. Yes, I will say that I love them. No, not in a romantic way. In a platonic “Hey, you seem cool. Let’s be friends” way. Not everyone seems to encounter this problem. I would just like everyone to know that males and females are allowed to be friends. It is not like the world is about to end because of it.

Dear Crush,

by Some Girl

Confessions to the Goalie by Secret Admirer

The Conundrum Of UCU

you seemed to be following me everywhere. I’m not angry about it though. I’m just struggling to process my feelings towards you. I don’t know if you have a girlfriend (or boyfriend. You never know with this campus), and I can’t just ask you that question. I’ve never spoken to you before so I’m pretty sure you don’t actually know I exist. Basically what I’m saying is that it’s futile to like you. Yet here I am, swimming through this pool of feelings and drowning in them. My friends told me I shouldn’t bother with you because they found out that you’re in one of the frats. I didn’t really care but I suppose they’re looking out for my best interests. So here I am. Stuck. Wondering more things about you. Do you like singing? What other sports do you enjoy? Are you into gaming? Cooking? Please explain your name to me. Is that your natural hair colour? Because again, your name confuses me. Are you taken by someone already? (I heard through the rumour windmill that you were, so this is a bit of an awkward piece to submit.) So. Many. Questions. So. Little. Answers. I think I’m going mad now, so I’m going to stop. Hope you’ve enjoyed this whatever this is (confession letter?) to you. Or maybe I just ruined my chances of speaking to you. Who knows? Anyways, Tchao! Kind regards, Secret Admirer

A University College Student Association Magazine

Tikkie is Peak Dutch Culture by Hospitable Elon Musk Black Mirror warned us about Instagram, TripAdvisor, Facebook, virtual reality, and televised talent shows. But it didn’t warn us about the deprivation of our society that is the result of Tikkie.

ikkie is peak Dutch culture. You did the groceries for a three-person dinner and it cost you €12.30? That’s €4.10 for everyone. Bad enough. Except, in The Netherlands you’ll have to calculate how much exactly everyone ate, preferably put the contents of a person’s stomach on a scale, and do the maths according to that. Fair, right? If you eat less, you pay less. You cost more, you pay more. But that’s not how hospitality works. Besides a general lack of hospitality on this campus, the concept in itself is damaged because every dinner plan is all about money. I’m fine with paying for all of the groceries for a dinner if it means next time someone else offers to do them instead. Or I buy food and you buy drinks. I don’t care if we don’t entirely break even. And if I pay €12.30 this week, whereas the next person only pays €9.10 - that’s fine too. Don’t hit me with that “you still owe me €1.50 because the numbers should always be equal.” Tikkie has made it incredibly easy to eradicate everything nice about spontaneous dinner plans. It dissolves social coherence. Instead of offering to cook the next time, it’s easy to transfer a couple of euros right away and never have to see the person again. That’s a great way to go about it if you prefer to eat alone. But I’d like some more generosity. The next time someone visits your unit, why don’t you ask them to stay for dinner? Even if they’re not your favourite person, it greatly increases the overall vibe on campus.

BLACKOUT

4This is a continuation of the cover article

boards, a talent for graphic design, portraits taken in front of the cherry blossom tree, and above all: adequate English spelling skills. Their opponents simply did not stand a chance. Did any men run during the election season? Yes, do not worry, they did! Some of the more notable campaigns this year were: Reinier “Vote For Me Because I Am In A Fraternity” Derks; Folke “Dictionary Definition of Guy Next Door” van der Veen; Laurens “This Poster Was Also My Audition for ‘The Joker’” Triesscheijn and Flo “Does He Teach Here” Jiang. Let us salute all the warriors that joined the fray this election season, those who won but most of all every single one who tried. It takes an incredible amount of courage to put yourself out there and run a campaign - especially if you have run and lost before, or if you are running your campaign from abroad. This election season was a very interesting one, with ambitious ideas, beautifully designed PR and eloquent speeches. Congratulations to all those who took the time away from their demanding studies to run a campaign. Without you, UCU wouldn’t be what it is, and this article would not have been written.

Stan’s Sad Boy Songs

Special edition: The reviewer reviewed not by Stanley Ward

In the spirit of the blackout edition, and transpar- well, because of it’s wittency in journalism, our music reviewer Stan has consented to being reviewed himself by an anony- So I guess you think you’re doing us ‘philismous interviewer. Here is an edited version of this tines’ as you’d call us, some grand cultural interaction. service eh? Why can’t we just listen to Drake? You can - even I like some Drake bangers. But there’s loads of great music out there, and for me it’s like food, if there’s no variation then things get bland. Music, even pop music, as commercial as it is, is still a form of art. So, what is it you do in your column each issue? I try and curate around 5 songs, usually all of which, while various genres, are united by a wider theme or idea. And how is this different to Spotify playlists? Well, I like to think that the personal touches and details in the reviews help give readers a better idea of what they might be interested in listening to. Why can’t people just listen to music themselves and decide? Of course they can! But I often try to review a small selection of tracks that many people may not have listened to or noticed otherwise, so that if they fancy trying something different, they can always glance at my column. So you think you have better taste than us ‘average joes’ do you? No! Not at all, but I spend a lot of time discovering music, going to gigs, or listening to records, and I like to share that with my fellow UCU students. For example, there’s a new single out by Christian Lee Hutson called ‘Northsiders’ which blew me away, and I think other people might enjoy it as

A lot of people have told me your column is very pretentious. Why should we as educated UCU students read, and this is a direct quote I heard from someone, ‘a poor man’s pitchfork magazine, written by someone who thinks hating the Queen movie is a substitute for a personality’? Pretentious? Well maybe a little, but there’s definitely a strong sense of irony in my reviewing, and I definitely enjoy playing the character of a harsh begrudging reviewer. I actually believe some people might think that’s what makes my column fun?

and ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ is a good song. Also, if you like music so much, why have you never included any of the soundtrack to ‘The Greatest Showman’ in your top 5 lists? I’ve never actually heard any - musical theatre as a whole never really connected with me. Having studied it for my A levels, and played in this year’s musicals band, I appreciate the enormous amount of talent and hard work that goes into a musical theatre production, but out of the context of a theatre, I don’t understand the appeal. What if KIDS SEE GHOSTS and the Postal Service and Sufjan Stevens made a musical together? You like them don’t you music boy? I bet you’d change your tune then. Your music taste is based on what’s fashionable in your little indie circles, and it’s just as subjective and personality led as the mainstream. You’re no different to us you know! You’re not an iconoclast, you’re just a deluded fool with a Car Seat Headrest T-Shirt. I like my Car Seat Headrest T-Shirt…

They don’t. So overall, as you’re so keen to review Ah well… It’s not that I hate Queen, it’s just that I things, it’s time for your review. I’m rating think for a band with such a poor creative output you 13 out of 67. in terms of the sheer quantity of forgettable and I don’t even review records with ratings. And what mediocre at best albums they put out, they’re kind of scoring system is that? unfairly glorified due to the cult of personality developed by the fanbasAlright then, you get 7.5 out of 82. Fine. Just check out ‘Northsiders’ by Christian Lee Stop. Literally nobody cares. Queen is good, Hutson, I think you’d like it.

BLACKOUT

The Boomerang | May 2019

Contemplations about climate change by You Can Call me Al

ince I arrived at UCU, I have been thinking about climate change quite a lot. By nature, I am a worrier and I dread inflicting harm on others. Climate change makes me feel so uneasy, and I always feel like I should be doing more. Yes, I am reducing my meat intake and even my intake of animal products. I’ve stopped buying products featuring palm oil, I am trying to put the heater lower whenever I can, I buy more second hand clothes, I recycle, I am trying to take shorter showers, and yet it still does not feel like enough. This summer I am flying to a faraway country, which, I realize, is “undoing” all the things I mentioned earlier, and probably adding some extra emissions. But, what can I ask from myself? Should I say no to flying away this summer, but at the same time distancing myself from my family and giving up an amazing travel experience? I know that to truly limit climate change I should stop flying, but, even if I do this, the future of the world will not change. I feel very guilty, but at the same time I recognize that, just

“

Humans have always been great at adapting to different challenges, and even though this might be the biggest one we will ever face, we will rise to it

like everybody else, I am “trapped” in a bigger structure that does not allow me to live to live a lifestyle that limits my carbon emissions without distancing myself from the people around me.

“

I see climate change everywhere. I see it in the hot summer weather even though it is only April. I see it in the fact that nowadays there is such little variety in flowers sprouting in grass fields. I see it in the fact that I do not hear the crickets anymore when I go to visit my grandmother. I get reminded of it every time I switch on a heater, every time I am in a car, and every time I buy new clothes. How can I be positive when I have this doomsday scenario stuck in my head? Sometimes, everyday stuff feels trivial compared to this future. Does, for example, feminism and fighting for other aspects of social change even matter, when for most of the next generation a safe future is not guaranteed? I recognize that the fact that climate change is one of my biggest worries is a privilege in itself. Yet, we must act now, and to act now, we need to change our ways radically. Nonetheless, the majority of the people will not want to do this. We humans have always been more focused on immediate consequences rather than consequences that lie far in the future. As we have just seen, if politicians focus on climate change and actively try to reduce emissions, the people resist.

The Notre-Dame and Human Nature

atastrophe. Schock. Paralysis. As pictures and videos of the historical Notre Dame burning were flooding the internet people all around the world were looking at Paris anxiously, frightened, and even depressed. “What now?” “Will there be something left?” “Can we restore it?” Then, surprisingly, millions of euros were raised to aid the restoration of the church – to save the cultural symbol of France. However, as I looked further online, I started to spot different opinions and articles. “Millions raised for cold stones – it only shows how much the world could be better if the rich would care!” “Millions out of nowhere could be donated to solve poverty, child malnourishment,” et cetera. Some would say fundraising shows the dark side of the society we live in. But does it? Who is to blame? In the shortest amount of time, it was possible to collect significant financial aid for merely cold stones. Why? Demand. People want to preserve this church, to rebuild it, whether it be for religious reasons, nationalism, compassion, or even avarice and fame. Greed and fame feed on the myriad of minds that consider giving money to this cathedral a noble deed. Without the people, fame would have no meaning. If these rich donors are to blame, then the multitude of people creating the demand for the cultural restoration and foundation to begin with are at

by Dagwood

When we try to force people instead of nudging them into changing their lifestyle, they rebel and elect people such as Baudet or Trump. Of course I can sympathize with the people who do not want their energy bill to be raised, especially when they already do not have a lot of money. I agree that climate change should not be borne by the poor. However, I also do not see how we can make a radical change in a democratic society. Even if we are too late to undo climate change, that does not mean that all hope is lost. In the worst case scenario, the earth has seen mass-extinction before, and it will not stop being and evolving because of us. Nevertheless, humans have always been great at adapting to different challenges, and even though this might prove to be the biggest one we will ever face, I am sure we will rise to it.

least, potentially, equally responsible. The incident of the Notre Dame tells us that the virtual illusion which men create(d) and which we call “culture” is seemingly powerful. The whole of our cultural perception is symbolic. This is why the burning of the city’s (and arguably the nation’s) emblem has more impact than a bus accident. The physical reality that we live in is all but cold stones and empty shards. It is because of the creational ability of mankind that we not only can create artifacts and tools, but also superimpose a whole new layer of meaning onto the emptiness we live in, creating our very own version of life. Man’s reality is not nature, but culture. Without meaning we are left empty-handed. Is it not fascinating how much meaning man can impose on inanimate objects? I felt physical pain seeing the Notre Dame ablaze. The study of the burning cathedral and the resulting echo resonating through society illustrates the brilliance of human nature. It shows how society functions, building it up from each individual human. Yes, the world could be a better place for sure, but I am not surprised or enraged with the amount of money donated to reconstruct a building. What stays certain is that human beings embed their life into a self-made reality of symbolic environment. After all, this is what it means to be human.

The incident of the Notre Dame tells us that the virtual illusion which men create(d) and which we call “culture” is seemingly powerful

“One Beer, Two Beer, Twelve Beer” A Final’s Party Dilemma

by Doctor Sauss ‘Tis Friday night And I’m feeling a bit queasy. I want to go to bed But my stomach’s uneasy. I wish my mind was clear But I’ve had too much beer. Oh my, what shall I do? I’m going to be sick. I have to be quick. Do I barf by the bar? Or shall I puke by a car? Should I, could I Heave in the sink? Could I, should I Hurl in the bin? I’ve retched in the bushes. I’ve spewed in the shower. One time, I even threw up Next to the Tower. But that, Won’t happen tonight! Even though I feel like absolute shite.

The

Blackout May 2019

Sustaprofessiocontinuity: A Roast of The Election Season by Lady Ornacia Diamond

pring was in the air this semester. The sound of birds, the smell of freshly mown grass, the blinding sight of shirtless white boys’ bellies seeing sun for the first time on the quad, the cherry tree blossoming for a few days. But most of all, every UCU election candidate getting their portraits taken in front of it. Yes, spring at UCU is also the season of elections. The season during which our Facebook timelines fill with statements, posters, endorsements and portraits taken by Vedika. It was the season of recreating Vines, handing out free food, building your own website, flying drones over the quad and cramming as many meaningless buzzwords as possible into a quirky acronym. Forget the popular HBO show, the true Game of Thrones was happening here on campus. The ideas of this year’s candidates were ambitious but most of all very similar. The number of puns made about ‘cars’ during the CAR campaign was higher than the number of slippery break-your-neck-onthem stones between Locke and Newton. Meanwhile, everyone

finally learned what the hell the word ‘flexibilization’ means, while everyone proved that they know the word ‘continuity’... well, exists. With each and every one of the candidates wanting to be ‘approachable’, ‘professional’ and ‘sustainable’, it seems like there was hardly any time left to be ‘original.’ Some new and surprising ideas were of course posited, such as reviving Dining Hall (reviving Workspaces is next on the list), assigning buddies or Peer Supporters during Introweek (maybe UCU confessions will finally stop being anonymous therapy) or making digital lectures available (ambitious, since most of the professors can barely project a Youtube video on full screen). In a campaign period so overflowing with niceties and compliments that it could hardly be called a campaign, let alone a battle, candidates Mai Thai, Emmie and Antoinet ‘fought’ valiantly to be crowned next Queen of the UCSA. Their weapons of choice were various. Emmie chose filter coffee and coffee beans as her ammunition. With her army of girls so unrelentlessly campaigning that they may as well have been robots, Emmie herself also chose to attend the General

Assembly as a computer screen. Mai Thai, much like the Obama administration, fought this battle by drone, providing College Hall with some free aerial shots for their next PR video. She thankfully left the post-its at home this year. Antoinette opted for a bombardment of campus with green wrist bands and free food such as pizza and ice-cream, the costs of which were somehow very mysteriously within the spending cap.

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With each and every one of the candidates wanting to be ‘approachable’, ‘professional’ and ‘sustainable’, it seems like there was hardly any time left to be ‘original’ Besides these three ladies, there were two other contestants for the title ‘Dutch Woman With The Brightest Smile, Largest Eyes and Most Impressive CV’: Irene and Yvette. In their campaigns to be part of the Academic Student Council, they were heavily armed with experience in countl e s s Illustration © Jarne van der Poel

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Time to process 6

Visions of Kennedy 5

Poetry about beer 2 Tikkie is peak Dutch culture 3

The reviewer reviewed

The Notre Dame and human nature