May 2018

or r f ut e ov cko p i fl bla cial e th spe

The

Boomerang May 2018

REFORM UCSA CAMPAIGN FINANCES:

CAPS AND REIMBURSEMENTS by Jamie March While the free food from the election period was much appreciated, it was apparent to all that the campaigning was magnitudes more expensive than in previous years. Snacks, goodies, and posters.

One candidate I spoke to ended up spending around eighty euros.

Campaigning this year has gotten out of hand. How much you can spend on snacks should not be a limiting factor for running for the UCSA. There are two separate but interconnected possibilities I would like to open up to the community. The first is a cap, the second is UCSA reimbursements. A cap on spending could be regulated by an honor system whereby the candidates come together at the beginning of the election period and agree on a maximum amount that can be spent. While there would be no official auditing, aggregate spending is low enough that anyone who significantly broke the cap would be discovered. The social aspect would probably be a sufficient disincentive. The other possibility of course would be a hard cap, written into the bylaws of the UCSA and voted on in the GA. Someone would then have to audit receipts and we’d have to decide on what would happen if someone breaks the cap.

A separate issue, is whether or not the UCSA should reimburse a fixed amount of the campaign costs. For example, you can spend up to 30 euros on campaigning, and the UCSA will reimburse each candidate 10 euros. If a cap is implemented, the total amount of money spent by the UCSA or the candidates could be negligible. But

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Campaigning this year has gotten out of hand.

if you believe, as our current treasurer Gilian does, that “you should be able to run a successful campaign without spending any money,” (which is a reasonable sentiment), reimbursement could be put off the table as a matter of principle. Of course we want to incentivize people to run for UCSA, and if the price for that is small, then there would be no harm in implementing such a mechanism. There would be technicalities to work through, arguments for and against that would still need to be discussed, and I welcome the community to consider them.

An honor based campaign cap could and should be tried out next year, just for the sake of saving everyone some money, which hopefully has the side effect of influencing more people to campaign.

Furthermore, we as UCSA members should think about the future of these elections, whether we want strict auditing measures on spending, reimbursements, or to move away from an election to another form of choosing board members (for more information read Reinoud Pino’s article in the previous issue of the Boomerang).

In the meantime, congratulations to the new UCSA board, and thanks for the exorbitant amount of food.

R.I.P. WORKSPACES

by Florine Kist

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s if third year wasn’t making us nostalgic enough already, the recent announcement that UCU is about to substitute Blackboard for Workspaces has hit us all deeply. It’s time to say goodbye to our hazelnut-coloured friend, and to dive into a new black-andwhite era.

My first response was “what’s wrong with Workspaces”?

My homepage, my companion that first sees my essays, scans them for plagiarism and allows me to find my classes in the first week of term. What did he do? Or what didn’t he do?

Admittedly, Workspaces sometimes is a hassle.

Minor inconveniences, such as having to specify the academic year, are definitely present. There a some unused functions, such as “My Grades” and “Personal Options” in the menu before entering the class-specific workspaces. For grades we turn to Osiris, and paradoxically so, there are no options under “Personal Options.” At the course-specific workspaces, things get confusing. We know what “library” means, we know what “announce” does. The biggest mystery in a UCU student’s life will forever and always remain what the difference is Illustration © Samantha Dharamraj

beween “hand-in” and “work.” I remember multiple occasions in which teachers have tried to explain the difference, with great difficulty and confusion, but their efforts have been in vain and apparently will always be.

On the bright side: there are benefits to BlackBoard. Not only is it visually more pleasing than the fifty shades of brown that Workspace brought to our daily lives, it also has many more functions.

Though some of these, like “My Community,” seem like options that,

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in this edition…

• Int’l Student Recruitment at UCU

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• Bienvenue en Classe

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• Pride: How to be an Ally?

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• The Perfect 5/7

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despite their potential usefulness, will never really be used. Other features, like the “Quick Access To” column with links to Gmail, the Course Catalogue, the Library website and more are likely to be useful. Additionally, Blackboard offers an online portfolio where you can upload not just your midterm reflection forms, but also personal development forms. Yes, I mean those seemingly irrelevant forms with questions about our social lives in and outside of the bubble.

I’m convinced that -- once they are filled out systematically and filed together orderly - future cohorts of students will actually benefit

from this service. Finally, there’s the possibility of (re)watching your lectures, which, for most of you, probably is the most convincing argument for Blackboard’s superiority. It simultaneously is the least probable function to ever be accepted by UCU, known for its negative attitude towards technology and physical absence.

UCU is changing and we’re left with nostalgia: about Dining Hall, about Rob van der Vaart, and now Workspaces. Fortunately, we can soon write all about this in our online portfolios.

Dear Readers, The last few times I’ve had to write an Editorial, there wasn’t all that much that had to be said. I hope you enjoyed my previous literary excretions. This time however, bear with me, we have some ground to cover.

3... 2... 1... Black.

In case you’ve missed our tsunami of promotion that has tried to rattle your dysfunctional capacity for attention, we are blacking out. No, no-one has the intention of committing some frivolous acts of racism, neither do we want to overtly censor any texts that were sent in. Rather the opposite. On such a small campus, where most know each other by first name, naturally the pressure to conform to common opinions and ideas is especially high. Students who might not share common views will therefore be reluctant to openly share them. Willem Mingelen laments this just below.

Luckily, forums that guarantee anonymity to students wanting to share what moves them have been popping up all around. UCU confessions, which I think is a fascinating new form of grassroots journalism – yes, journalism – has provided a fantastic basis for short commentary on campus life. We as the Boomerang would now like to provide a forum as well. In this Blackout edition, we have decided to dedicate part of the issue to anonymous contributors who wish to speak their mind without being personally scrutinised for it. Flip the paper around and start reading. Alternatively, feel free to just start from the beginning, as usual.

This edition is the eighth edition of this academic year. It is the last full edition we will publish. It has been a wildly successful year for us, and best of all, you have voted for us to win the Golden Key for Best Committee Board of 2018. Thank you very much.

I would of course like to also thank everyone who has played a part in making the Boomerang a reality every month of the semester, a constant grind. First of all, our relentless managing editor Meike. Your impressive, but also slightly scary organisation and devotion really kept this board going. Laura, I’m still surprised at how you keep a smile and good humour throughout whatever situation is thrown at you. Charlotte, we’ve had our fair amounts of disagreements, but be assured I’ve always appreciated getting all the ideas I throw out there scrutinised to the core. Besides, you’ve always left any bad spirits behind in the office, which I really admire. Aditya, honestly, I don’t need to praise your achievements, pretty much everyone is aware of your genius, and your work went well in line with your reputation. Thomas, you’ve gotten a reputation as the quiet one in the board meetings, but for me it’s become obvious that when you do say something, everyone should listen. You don’t like to pretend you agree – this is brilliant.

Lotte, where do I start? Your jokes manage to lighten up every meeting and your wonderful quirkiness brings a smile to everyone’s faces. Thank you all for a wonderful year, I hope you enjoyed this just as much as me.

With great nostalgia, since I remember all too well applying for this board myself two years ago, but also with much excitement, I’d like to announce and welcome the new board for Fall 2018: Meike Eijsberg – Editor-in-Chief

Maya Homsy King – Managing Editor

Thomas Scasselatti Sforzolini – Executive Editor

Sven Bosma – Executive Editor

Lotte Schuengel – Art & Design

Lise Derksen – Art & Design

Saskia Vrensen – Communications & Technology Good luck next year. I’m convinced you’ll do just fine.

Emotionally yours,

Clemens Schally Editor-in-Chief

SOCIAL DISCOURSE IS DEAD, AND NOT EVEN UCU CONFESSIONS WILL CHANGE THAT by Willem Mingelen

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aving just finished a legal piece in which I defend the right of an association to deny gay people entry, I realised that the only time I have defended a controversial opinion on campus was when a teacher

would say “Imagine you are…” This often comes with the silent implication that as a student at UCU I would never actually hold such an opinion. This piece will not be about my opinion regarding that legal question, I

will leave that up to the professionals. What I will argue is that UCU is boring, dull, and illiberal when it comes to public discourse and debate.

When I came to UCU I hoped it would be

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I know there will be enough people who read this article and simply dismiss it by telling their like-minded friends that I must be a conservative Dutch guy who thinks that everyone on campus is a snowflake. That is an opinion you are allowed to have, no question about it, but it shows exactly what is wrong with the climate of public discourse in this bubble. It would also be wrong: I have never voted and will never vote for conservative parties. But the thing that would not happen, I am convinced, is that people would actually listen, debate, and reform their opinion or maybe even try to change mine.

As I have said: social discourse is dead.

The art of public discourse is the art of intellectual standoff. Coming together to debate, condemn, disagree or in the end maybe agree with one another. It has been an integral part of this world since time immemorial. From the Greeks who designed their public spaces

specifically for this reason, to the enlightenment and further on to the 20th century debating societies at great universities. They would host controversial speakers with the same amount of respect and interest as they would ones they agree with, something which UCU lacks in its totality.

When is the last time you felt challenged in your system of belief by a speaker or student? Think about that for a second.

Maybe the readers can inform me but I can not remember any instance when a controversial speaker was invited to campus.

DebateCo is a shadow of what it could be, if only people would actually espouse different opinions here on campus.

It would be one thing if there was no discourse on a social level but it is even creeping into our classrooms. I can vividly remember discussions in a class where taking on the stance that religion is bad (which I sincerely believe, but maybe that will be my next piece) was only possible because it was proposed as a theoretical exercise. I was disgusted by myself when I realised that I would not have debated the issue so violently if that theoretical shield would not have existed. The fact that such an atmosphere is created here means that any “non-conforming” opinions are marginalised. I think that this is dangerous, and not

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When is the last time you felt challenged in your system of belief?

befitting a “liberal” arts and sciences college.

Let us now discuss UCU confessions. In the two year I have walked around on these hallowed grounds there has not been one confession that induced discussion that was of any worth. If a controversial opinion even passed the censorship of the person behind the page, there would be no response or competing views. I still have the silent hope that one day it might be the gateway to a larger discourse on this campus, even if it is a cheap one. I hope that this article itself might result in more public discourse on campus. I fear the worst, being the cynic that I am. Maybe this campus needs something truly polarising, something that really splits the campus in half. Until then, I fear, we must accept the fact that UCU is boring, dull and illiberal.

COLLEGE HALL EXPLAINS: HOW WE RECRUIT INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS by Kim Zwitzerloot

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64% of all students at UCU have the Dutch nationality, one third of whom also has at least one other nationality. Other nationalities on our campus cover 60+ different countries.

Now nationality at UCU says very little.

You may be Dutch but have never lived in the Netherlands before, or be German but attended school in Thailand. So what about where people attended secondary school?

That would be:

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UCU students have attended secondary school in 76 different countries. 46% obtained a high school diploma in the Netherlands and 54% abroad, in countries ranging from Argentina to Zambia, from Qatar, to St Vincent and the Grenadines.

So why am I telling you this? For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Kim Zwitserloot and I work at UCU as a tutor and as a lecturer in economics (yes, I like numbers, what gave it away?). I am also responsible for our recruitment of international students and have been asked to shed some light on what UCU does there.

To understand where the student population at UCU comes from, you need to look at multiple things including, of

course, where we go to promote UCU but also at who applies. I will not go too deeply into the admissions process as that is someone else’s story to tell. What I can tell you is that in the admissions process we look first and foremost at whether you would be a good fit for UCU, both academically and socially. Based on the applications we receive we try to compose a demographically balanced cohort that covers humanities, science and social science.

The vast majority of our applications comes from abroad so contrary to popular opinion, you do not have an advantage if you did IB. So did many, many other applicants.

(And to tackle another popular campus myth, we do not take into account whether you like to get drunk or not. We do not try to have a party class one year and a studious one the next. Think about it: how would we know?)

So what about the other side, how do we decide where to promote UCU and to whom? The starting point is always: would the applicant be admissible?

That is determined by two things.

First of all, do you have a secondary school diploma that the NUFFIC* considers to be equivalent to a Dutch VWO diploma? Pupils in Dutch schools need to decide relatively early on what type of secondary education they will get: Illustration © Lotte Schuengel (continued)

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vocational (VMBO), professional (HAVO) or academic (VWO). Only a VWO diploma would grant you access to a Dutch research university such as Utrecht University. Some other countries have a similar system and for that reason the German Abitur and the French Baccalauréat General or Technique are seen as admissible as is the full IB diploma and the British A levels with certain minimum grades.

The diplomas of other secondary school systems are often seen as equivalent to the Dutch HAVO diploma which would give you access to the Dutch universities of applied science but not to the research universities. Sometimes exceptions can be made, for instance if you have obtained the American high school diploma with at least four AP exams. Individual universities can on occasion also decide to make an exception e.g. if a student comes from a highly selective high school or has exceptionally high grades. Most of the time though such a diploma simply means that you are not admissible.

The second thing that determines admissibility is English proficiency as our classes are after all taught in English. Students can demonstrate this proficiency if they have for instance obtained an 8 or higher for English at VWO, if their entire secondary education took place in English or by passing e.g. a TOEFL or IELTS test with a minimum score.

So what does this have to do with our international recruitment activities? Well, we do not visit schools or study fairs where most pupils are not likely to be qualified. Unfortunately that excludes many schools in many countries, especially outside of Europe.

And then there is of course the elephant in the room: money.

We are aware that the entry requirements alone already make

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We don’t take into account whether you like to get drunk or not

the UCU population less socioeconomically diverse than we would like. Therefore we also offer, needs-based scholarships to qualified students who lack the financial means to attend UCU. UCU spends close to half a million euros on scholarships, with 8% of all UCU students getting a, mostly partial, scholarship. We are in touch with several organizations whose goal it is to help such students find a university that would offer them a scholarship. We make sure they know us and know what students we are looking for.

We would of course always like to give out more scholarships than we currently do, so do spread the word about, and maybe donate to, our scholarship fund.

If you have any ideas about what else we could do to reach a more diverse international population or if you would like to get involved, just get in touch! I’d be more than happy to meet with you and see what else can be done. If you are interested in representing us by for instance visiting a school, or a fair, just let me know. We are always looking for students and alumni than can help out. * NUFFIC is the Dutch organization for internationalization in education that evaluates foreign diplomas to see whether they would be equivalent to e.g. the Dutch VWO diploma. You can see their evaluation of different schooling systems on their website.

THIS IS A CRY FOR HELP by The ASC Board Something fantastic popped up on facebook recently: a UCU confessions post with a long list of ideas and suggestions on how UCU academics could be improved. As the current ASC board, we were delighted by such a text. As a matter of fact, we would like heaps and heaps more of these kind of comments and discussions. We need these to do our job as representatives properly.

Nevertheless, we would like to say something about this text besides how fantastic it is and how great UCU confessions are. We would like to address a rather worrying state of affairs. There is a lack of student participation on campus in improving the quality of the programme and UCU, and there is a weak connection between ASC and the student body.

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we need you to become more involved

It is commonly known that ASC struggles to entice people to attend our events and give us input. Despite working ourselves silly in pimping our promotion, there have been several events where the student participation has been one or none. For example, at the Tutor Q&A (where you had the opportunity to ask all the questions about the tutor system) there was one student. At the Science Let’s Talk there were two. And at the Life After the Bubble event, which was organised extensively, inviting alumni and academic staff members, only 16 people

showed up. This is utterly unpleasant (shit) for us. As it is our job, we are making and creating these events for you, the student body. In order for ASC to perform its job of improving the quality of the education on our campus, we need you to engage and become more involved in the structure and functioning of UCU. This is not an attempt to guilt trip you, but rather a cry for help. We would like to know from you: how can we get students involved in the running and functioning on campus? We want your input in the future of the academics and vision of UCU, but we’re struggling to get that input. It seems that hard work doesn’t always pay off.

We understand that sometimes ASC events aren’t the most riveting or mindblowing, but they have the the power of reshaping your UCU experience in drastic ways. As an example, at the moment we are revising the academic rules and regulations, which is THE document where the most crucial rules and guidelines of UCU are stated. We literally discuss the course requirements for your degree and what specific GPA standards are equivalent to what distinction. Naturally, we want your involvement. Because as the student body, you are the most impacted by this.

We cannot stress this more, student involvement is the key for ASC to perform and excel. In the words of the great Julian (Goené), the key really is we. So please tell us, how should we push the murky waters forward and make the river of student

involvement flow? How can we radicalise and mobilize our student body beyond posting on UCU students, making Facebook events, and hanging posters everywhere?

There must be better, more effective ways.

And that is where we need you to help us think.

Lastly we want to say that whilst we love students giving input, UCU confessions is a difficult medium for us to control and mediate. We don’t mean that we don’t want confessions about academics, absolutely not. We saying that you can be in charge of changing your own education, hands on, even if you don’t run for ASC. It’s simple!

Contact us, come to our events and give us suggestions! IF you do not want your name to be known, the anonymous suggestion box outside our office is waiting for you!

As the year has come the an end, we would like to thank you for this year. This has been a year of constant struggling, learning, failing and trying again. We are happy to say that a lot of successes came along the way. The road we took was rocky, but nonetheless filled with joy and accomplishment. Although the student involvement was less than what we had wished for, we still managed to do great things with your invaluable participation and help. You were amazing, we just want even more of you. As you know, ASC 17-18 is sad but happy to hand over ASC to the amazing ASC 18-19 board. We hope they excel, and achieve better results than our board. Please help them accomplish that! We out.

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sweet svensations by Sven Bosma Your monthly dessert: a sweet little nugget of Sven’s brain.

“DO NO HARM” I believe “do no harm” is the credo doctors live and operate by. I’d argue however that doing some harm, anything, is better than the steaming plate of nothing I got from my ‘emergency’ appointment at the Uithof GP. Visiting the GP at the Uithof is awful, and the 4.2 rating on Google confirmed that. In hindsight, I should’ve checked that massive red flag and simply opted for a swift death, because this wasn’t worth anything more. The quickand-dirty of my need for the doctor is the following (no, not an STD): For 10 days I’d had tooth-, upper jaw-, lower jaw-, sinus-, head-, eyeball-, and neck ache. I thought my tooth was infected, but a swift scan at an emergency dentist appointment disproved that, and I was sent on my not-so-merry way with a bunch of painkillers and a sympathy smile.

then started typing, and I allowed myself to hope “oh good, she’s going through some lists, checking what she can give me or whatever.” No, no, no, ladies and gentlemen, the doctor turned her computer screen towards me, and to my, at this point, not surprise, had pulled up WebMD, with a search bar full of my symptoms. I politely nodded as she moved the mouse around to the conclusion section of the page, and quickly scrolled past the inevitable WebMD diagnoses of “cancer of the jaw bone.” She turned her attention in my general direction and asked me with a serious face “So what do you think?” I wasn’t too surprised by the question, more so by the fact that she decided to use absolutely zero medical training in this entire conundrum. So I simply gave her the “I don’t know” answer.

So then I tried my luck with an emergency appointment at the Uithof GP, who upon my arrival was locking up her practice. Apparently she’d forgotten about the appointment, despite having me on the phone about 30 minutes ago. But ever the optimist, I still believed she might be competent enough to help me, instead of recognising this first incident as a bad omen.

She decided to put an end to this farce by saying, “Well, since you’ve got all this pain around your…head area, I think it might be best to just give you some antibiotics and see what happens.” Now, first thing wrong with that is the “…” before she said “head area”. I put that there because I’m convinced she was going to say “fuckin’ head” but opted not to in the end. Beyond that, we hit the scientific accuracy of the term “head area,” you be the judge of that. And finally, I should say, at no point had I mentioned that I thought I might have some kind of infection, she essentially threw the antibiotic idea at me from outta left field, and this must violate some kind of biohazard law somewhere. Needless to say, I headed home over the weekend to see my own dentist and GP, who have more or less solved the problem in a combined effort.

Upon sitting down and giving the doctor the full rundown of all my symptoms, medical history of sinus issues, full list of medication I’d been taking, even the damn x-ray the dentist took, she looked me in the eye, and in that glance I knew I was going to get no further here, right as she asked me the very specific and medically informed question “So what do you want me to do about it?”

As I picked my (aching) jaw and senses up from the ground, I meekly answered “make it go away, preferably.” She

Bottom line, don’t EVER go to the Uithof GP.

HERMES WIPEOUT: FAIL TO WIN by TJ Querio

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hat better way to spend a Saturday than hanging out in the sun, listening to music, and alternating between falling on my ass and falling on my face? Even though my group only came second, I enjoyed Hermes’ Wipeout immensely.

I’d like to shake the hand of whichever board member said, “Yo, guys, let’s rent a bouncy castle and hype everyone up to fail miserably,” because they’re a friggin’ genius. UCU is swarming with type-A young adults whose perfectionism often causes them to procrastinate. While it’s an inspiring and academically rigorous environment, my problem is that failure is still not

Illustration © Idalina Lehtonen

rewarded. Most professors only have graded assignments, and if they don’t, their non-graded ones aren’t seen as worthwhile, meaning that students are required to put an enormous amount of pressure on themselves to produce a high quality product on something they’re still learning about. Hermes gave us an outlet to do something in which we were supposed to fall over. It felt liberating. It’s like taking a pop quiz - you get tested on what you know, but that’s not the point. The real value is getting the quiz back and learning what you didn’t know because you tried but failed.

What I’m trying to say is that Wipeout was incredibly enjoyable.

It made me remember how it feels to be a kid, when you run so fast you worry your feet can’t keep up with each other. As a university student, I feel that often emotionally. To take control of it and feel it physically was awesome.

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WILKOMMEN IN DER SCHULE / BIENVENUE EN CLASSE / TERVETULOA TUNNILLE by Clemens Schally

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here’s no doubt about it. English has become the world’s de facto language of communication. What Latin was for the middle ages, and French for the era before the second world war, English is for our modern times. Counterintuitively, knowing how to speak and work in other languages than English is becoming a more and more valuable asset to our lives, professionally and personally. The more languages you speak, the more attractive you are to potential employers, the tighter the connections you make to other people, and the more you can get out of your life.

Therefore, effective language education is more necessary than ever before. UCU already acknowledges this with the language requirement. Being an international college, we could however make far better use of the resources we have. Here are a few suggestions.

First, let’s make sure everyone has a sufficient level of Dutch. We have all chosen to live in this country, and opportunities to practice are everywhere. UCU could for instance require all international students to take a five week Dutch language and culture course in their first summer term. This will ensure that everyone has basic knowledge of the language and has the ability to integrate into the Netherlands much more. Once you have a basic command of the language it becomes far easier to practice it without even having to do anything. Dutch is all around us after all.

Next, we should change the mode of instruction of the other languages that are

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such an experimental approach will pay off in the long run

offered.

Currently, the courses are taught with English as language of instruction. This is counterproductive, since students might learn theory and vocabulary, but practicing and thinking in the language is hindered. In a way language, which is a lived practice of communication is sanitised and taken out of the context it’s used in. It would be much better to use an immersion approach, where the teacher and the class use nothing but the language being taught in class and the mate-

rials. This might be a shock to some students at first but will eventually pay off in much better practical language skills.

In order to perfect practical language skills we should replace the 200 level language courses. Instead of having to take yet another course, the topic of which is purely language, students should be able to choose from a range of normal courses that have a different language of instruction. Practicing the language in an academic context would majorly boost students’ skills, while they could possibly even combine such courses with their major. We have international teachers, so let’s make use of this resource. Offer French literature, German sociology or Italian political sciences.

Such an experimental approach would pay off in the long run and might become exemplary in university language education.

UCU needs to mobilise its resources and create a system that really encourages students to not only learn, but also engage with each other in languages other than English. We market ourselves as an international college. Let’s live the ideal.

Illustration © Samantha Dharamraj

UCSA ELECTIONS: BEHIND THE SMILE by TJ Querio

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’ve been on campus long enough to think I should probably list “introducing myself” as one of my hobbies. If you go by time spent on it, it would definitely qualify, especially after campaigning for the UCSA. I was a candidate for CAO, but you probably knew that. I now have a strong urge to promote my Facebook page… The aftershocks are still alive and well.

As someone on the inside of the campaign, I actually had very little idea of the atmosphere surrounding it on campus. In fact, I was surprised to learn that my concept of the campaign and my fellow candidates was wildly different from others’. I can tell

you right now that from the inside, it was incredibly wholesome. No, truly. I know what you really want to hear about is juicy backstabbing, but we were all brand new at it and just doing our best. We may have occasionally looked aggressive, and yes, to some extent my brain was constantly measuring my number of likes, shares, and post count against my fellow candidates’, but we supported each other from the get-go. Even from ten minutes in - being a busy second semester, I hadn’t clocked that most candidate statements had pictures of the candidates on them. I had blithely sent it off until a friend of mine messaged me that I should quickly put one on, run over, and replace

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when they get elected, you clap without hesitation

with the new poster. Which I did, and I arrived with the new version to find Mai Thai by the bulletin board. She was relieved to see me, and helped me pin up my new statement. This vibe continued throughout the campaign period; Max had an idea of

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It’s a peculiar feeling to look around at a group of people you are in competition with and realize you might end up working together. Because you’re competing against those you may share a board year with, you support and build off each other while still trying to focus on your own message. And when they get elected, even if you don’t, you clap without hesitation and smile with pride that their hard work paid off. Which is why standing in the bar and waiting for results, surrounded by my friends (all, I think, more nervous than I was), I felt a rush of happiness as candidates were announced, and felt closer to them than said friends. While the beer flying through the air was less than

welcome, endearing indeed was the reaction of Equites to Floris’ announcement as CAO. They immediately, selflessly, and exuberantly exploded with happiness at his success. It was also heartwarming to hear the shouts and whoops when Zoë, Max, Meg, Livian, and Pip were announced. All three of us who didn’t get in congratulate the new board.

Illustration © Lotte Schuengel

making sure our events never clashed with each other, every time I saw Meg we gave each other a supportive hug or thumbs up, and I shared a table with Livian at our lunch events in the last days of the campaign.

We were candidates, but also fellow UCU students, and voting UCSA members. We didn’t just go to the GA to speech and vote for ourselves.

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People ask me how I’m doing. They hug me, tell me they voted for me. But to me? The moment my name was pulled from the hat to do my speech last, I knew my chances had taken a massive hit. I get the sense that the universe decided it wasn’t time, and I’m okay with that.

Do I have FOMO? Hell yeah. Do I wish I could be in the board to help the goals I genuinely hoped to be able to complete get fulfilled? You betcha. But UCU is a plentiful place, and there are always other opportunities to give back. I went for it. Just because I didn’t get it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t go for other things.

Corrections These corrections pertain to the article “Taken to TASC” by Kyle Gardiner, published in the April 2018 issue of The Boomerang, and are based on factual clarifications provided by the board of ASC 2017-2018. We sincerely apologize for these errors.

1. ASC 2017-2018 did not keep the same events, but added events like the campus tour and the Civic Engagement fair.

2. ASC 2017-2018 organised 2 events covering printing instructions per introweek: ASC IT session.

3. Updates are not only put out regularly, but they are distributed on many platforms. ASC 2017-2018 has been doing: videos, talks at GA’s, ASC updates, Facebook answers, office hours, and emails. ASC 2017-2018 sends an ASC update every 2-3 weeks by email and hangs it up around campus. There is also a UCUC (former College Council) blog were the latest happenings can be read. https://ucucollegecouncilcentral.weebly.com/

8

The Boomerang | May 2018

LOCAL

saskia sticks to politicks

by Saskia Vrensen

WHY WOULD WE WANT WILLY?

T

his month a lot of us celebrated King’s Day, so I thought it would be a hoot to discuss the King and his constitutional versus actual function in Dutch society. King Willy’s birthday is a great excuse for as many as 1,000,000 people in Amsterdam alone to day drink and dress in assaulting shades of orange, but other than that, what does the monarchy actually do?

chat for a week then putting your name on the final copy anyway.

A fun fact about Koning Willem-Alexander is that he is a trained pilot and has co-piloted many KLM passenger flights; in fact, it has arisen that this number was as many as two per month. Unfortunately for all you travellers out there, he is stepping down from this position to retrain as a Boeing 737 pilot As in other constitutional monarchies, the King is the head of instead. No longer will you catch him ‘walk[ing] through Amsterstate of the Netherlands. According to the Royal House of the dam’s Schiphol Airport in KLM uniform and cap’, according to Netherlands’ website, ‘it is the King’s task to unify, represent The Independent. Considering that he doesn’t hold any actively and encourage the people.’ Encourage them to do what? Is the useful duties in Dutch Parliament or government, and is really King like the Peer Support of the Netherlands? He holds consti- nothing more than a figurehead, maybe he should reconsider tutional power in that he must appoint, dismiss and swear in his career as a KLM pilot. all ministers. Other than hiring and sacking people, the Dutch Or, maybe not. It seems like Willy is actually doing pretty well monarch is the official president of the Council of State, which despite his constitutional uselessness. He has millions of people is the highest administrative court in the country and also gives every year attending his birthday parties, and 73 percent of the government and Parliament ‘independent’ advice on legis- Dutch people are satisfied with his work as King. Across Europe, lation. However, it is repeatedly clarified that this role is purely people may be questioning the actual value and function of their symbolic and that the King doesn’t even go to meetings of the monarchs, but the Netherlands seems pretty happy with Willy at Council of State. That’s like ignoring the group project Facebook the (constitutional, symbolic and essentially powerless) wheel.

IT’S NOT ABOUT THE GLITTER: HOW TO BE AN ALLY

by Anahi Saravia Herrera

J

une is coming up and for those of you who don’t know it’s LGBTQ+ pride month! Whilst many of the readers may not identify themselves as queer, I’m hoping that a multitude of you may want to identify yourselves as allies. What is an ally? Well, it’s a pretty contested term, but basically it’s someone who commits to supporting the queer agenda in a constructive way. Before we begin it’s important to get a few misconceptions out of the way: 1. Taking the Gender and Sexuality course doesn’t make you an ally.

2. Hooking up with a queer person, that one time, doesn’t make you an ally.

3. Only caring about queer communities in the month of June, doesn’t make you an ally, or not a good one anyway.

Being an ally is an active choice to help, not a bumper sticker you can put on your laptop, so here’s a crash course on the essentials: 1. Don’t tell other people’s stories.

If you have queer friends, you may think you know what it’s like to be queer. But no matter how well you think you know, or you think you can relate to their experiences – you just can’t. So, make sure you encourage them to tell their stories, and be there to support them, instead of stealing the limelight.

2. Know when to shut up.

Many allies may be well versed in the politics of gender, you may even know more than most queer people, but if you find yourself monopolizing a discussion about queerness, in the presence of queer individuals – let them speak. It doesn’t matter how eloquent you are, if you think you know better, you’re not being a good ally. So, know when to shut up.

3. Be aware of the space you take up.

As crazy as it may sound, some spaces just aren’t for cis-gendered or heterosexual individuals. In case you haven’t noticed, all spaces are actually FOR us. So don’t invite yourself to a gay bar or an LGBTQ+ event without asking first. Be considerate, accept your privilege and move on.

4. Show up (and not just for the snacks).

Nope, putting a pride flag filter over your profile picture doesn’t make you an ally, neither does going to one Queer Alliance meet up and eating all the snacks (although we appreciate it!). To be an ally you need to be a constant support system, and show up when it matters. Support your local communities by showing up for protests, for fundraisers and not just when you want to put glitter on your face during the Pride Parade.

5. Educate yourself.

Educate yourself and be ready to confront your privilege. If you want to be an ally make sure you educate yourself on the do’s and don’ts and on the queer experience. Be ready to be told that you’re wrong sometimes – it’s a process.

6. Reach out & support.

Be there for your queer friends and your queer community! Reach out to see if they need any kind of support, with volunteers or on a personal level.

So, this June, put your money where your mouth is and be an ally – if UCU is so liberal let’s see everyone make more of an effort.

A good place to start is by supporting the Queer Alliance’s latest venture, fundraising for the PRIDE BOAT! Yes, UCU is going to be at Utrecht Canal Pride on June 16th. We’ll be selling tickets for students and teachers, but before we can go we need to raise 700 euros to cover the extra costs. So, support us, by coming to our events, donating or just by being an ally. If you have any questions feel free to drop us a line.

For donations, please deposit to Ella Shield’s Paypal, which is at paypal.me/EleanorRoseS. Or scan the code to the right.

A University College Student Association Magazine

WORLD WHY I’M NOT TAKING A “GAP YEAR”

I

t’s my mid-6th-semester tutor meeting, and my tutor asks me – “so what are your plans after UCU?”

I answer – “I’m going to travel,” to which he responds – “oh, so you’re taking a gap year.”

“No,” I tell him, “I’m going to travel.”

We have been conditioned to think that whatever is not following the pre-set road of graduating high-school, getting a Bachelor Degree, getting a Master, and then getting a 9-5 job is falling into a “gap” where you are not progressing with your life. Generally speaking, if we spend any time outside these grey, square lines, we are useless, clueless or irresponsible. Even if we have learned so much more on our travels than a university could offer, we are still considered to be wasting our time by not complying to the rest of society’s expectations.

It is perfectly acceptable to take a gap year. One can go work, travel and volunteer in third world countries and do the “finding yourself” bullshit, all of which I am guilty of. But only if it is placed between two of the completed steps, and only if you are intending on returning to the conventional path once you are done. The gap year concept can be seen as a purge in which young people can get a taste of what life could be like if they followed their heart, and enjoyed the thrills of experiencing new things and new cultures. God forbid you spend more than one year doing that.

We see education as something that we cannot provide for ourselves.Traditionally people think that only institutions such as schools, universities and colleges can unload knowledge onto them so that later they can get a job and become a reliable consumer as their lives get consumed by some company. Luckily, the concept of education is becoming an increasingly flexible one, especially with so many opportunities available with the internet. Online courses, youtube lessons, lectures and top-notch articles are just a few clicks away, it is up to you to go look for what you want to learn about the world.

“

9

by Inbar Preiss

If we spend any time outside these grey, square lines, we are useless, clueless or irresponsible

and neglects our inner needs to develop. We are not taught how to deal with difficult situations, thoughts, emotions, and people, so on our way through life we get hurt and scarred. This alters our character as we grow up and it takes a whole lot of effort to heal from traumatizing events (even if you don’t consider them traumatizing yourself – they may stick around in your subconscious for years). We are not even taught how to deal with the difficult material we study, such as: social discrimination, economic exploitation, technological domination, political corruption, and environmental destruction… what else do you need for a panic attack?

So am I taking a gap year to go travel? No. I am continuing the trajectory of my life without any gaps. There are no gaps in life. Even if you sit in your basement for a year this is not a gap, you did what you apparently needed to do and learned something from it. I am going to continue learning and being productive and creative just as I have in previous years, if not more. A one-way ticket, no timeframe and a pursuit of my own form of education.

And in some ways, it is a problem that everything we learn concerns the outside world. Our culture does not encourage us to learn about ourselves and what we are capable of, nor do we really know how to do that if we want to. Our education is focused outwards,

Write and sketch for us!

The new board has been decided, but we still need you! Next semester, we will once again sign people to be regular contributors – columnists, cartoonists, investigative journalists, and maybe even exchange correspondents, the possibilities are endless. Write to us at boomerang@ucsa.nl with an example of your written work or art, and a brief overview of your idea. We will ask you to contribute to every edition for a semester.

Amu Endo Illustration ©

10

The Boomerang | May 2018

ARTS&CULTURE

THE PERFECT 5/7 by Jamie March

W

hether it’s rating movies or the cuteness of dogs, our ranking systems are broken. This is not only because collectively we have awful taste, but because our perceptions of what a reasonable rating is is skewed. While in empirical research, the average does not necessarily need to be the median of possible results (that is 5/10) I think it should be different when we are ranking things subjectively. The whole point of ranking subjective media out of ten, is that the same number should mean around the same thing for different people. Instead, the score at the end is always more generous than the words used to describe it. The point of ranking things out of ten is to simplify complex opinions and present a universally understood metric. The numbers should mean the same for everyone, and they should represent what you think the movie or dog deserves.

It is certainly a possibility that artists and reviewers have cultivated a symbiotic relationship, where advanced screenings, insider access and therefore ad revenue from clicks are exchanged for favorable reviews. I believe the cause to be far less sinister, people are just too nice to give what they deem to be ‘a bad score’ and our culture of ‘mediocrity is bad’ means that a 5/10, and maybe a 6/10 are seen as bad score. In actuality they represent a huge proportion of what is published in any medium, plain mediocrity, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with that.

In the end, what’s my point? We can’t change a culture of score giving. The consumer now expects their popcorn-flick to be rated a 7/10, and they are going to watch and enjoy it even if it’s the same recycled content. So what’s the harm? There is

“

plain mediocrity: there’s nothing inherently wrong with that

nothing wrong with enjoying ‘mediocre’ movies. I know that when I pay 10 euros for a movie ticket to watch the newest Marvel movie with some friends that I’ll have a good time. I just also believe that critics owe it to themselves, and to us to try and and objectively base their final score on their subjective opinions, so the consumer can make an informed decision on what to spend their money on.

DABKE NIGHT – INTERCULTURAL LEARNING AT ITS BEST by Nina Hartter

I

ntercultural learning – it is one of those catchy terms that is thrown at UCU students way too often to take it serious anymore, comparable to “diversity” or “international environment.” That there is more to it than this promotional connotation was something I experienced a few weeks ago at “Dabke Night” at Tivoli.

“

One could almost describe it as a collective ecstasy.

I would have never gotten to know about this if it hadn’t been for the Marhaban project, which is this great initiative that pairs up UCU students with refugees to facilitate this intercultural exchange we are all talking about. But the consequences of this project go beyond this term which might merely sound good on your CV. It has the potential to provide a kind of anchor for the refugees, some of them having only recently arrived in the Netherlands. On the other hand, I’d say there is as much benefit – if not even more – for us students. Being confronted with these entirely different, often unsettling backgrounds and stories has changed my view, brought me to question my privileged position many times, and has made me more grateful for things I used to take for granted.

As if this wouldn’t be enough, I have formed a great friendship through this project, even more of a reason for you to check it out and become a buddy yourself.

So back to this special night full of Dabke Dancing. In case you’re asking yourself what Dabke even is, don’t worry, you’re not the only one. Dabke is an Arab folk dance that is performed at weddings and basically any other joyous occasion you can think of. Everyone holds hands and dances in lines and circles in synchronized steps. Tradition holds that the origins of Dabke lie in the changing weather conditions of the mountainous regions above the Mediterranean coastline.

The roofs in the villages were made out of tree branches and mud and when the weather changed, the mud cracked, and the roofs had to be fixed. The villagers would get together, hold their hands and stomp their feet while walking on the roof to adjust the mud. No matter if this story is true or not,

Dabke remains a big part of the Arab culture and is slowly gaining recognition in other parts of the world – mainly due to the growing number of refugees that bring their culture with them.

Having been part of a Dabke-flashmob that took place last summer in front of Hoog Catharijne, I already had a rough idea of what to expect. I remembered the dance as a collective experience, in which everyone was welcome to take part. And it turned out the same thing was happening at Tivoli. It all started with a performance by professional Dabke-dancers, which gave a good impression of how elaborate and intricate this dance can be. After that, the dancers were so kind to explain some of the basic steps to that part of the audience which did not know any Dabke, in this case the minority. What followed were hours full of dancing in circles, jumping around and trying not to step on anyone’s feet. Being used to the individual, I-do-my-own-thing type of dancing that is characteristic of most clubs here, this was a totally different experience.

Everyone was included, no room for hesitation. One could almost describe it as a collective ecstasy. It was another thing though that struck me the most. For once it was not the refugees that had to integrate. It was us Westerners who were the outsiders, who got a tiny glimpse of another culture and tried to fit in and adapt.

May 17, 3PM to 8PM @ Strand Oog in Al: Beach Bums and Beer Tums.

Day drink to cap off the semester on a real, man-made beach 20 minutes from campus. End the night in the UCSA bar.

May 17 to May 21, opens 4PM @ Griftpark: Festival TREK ‘18, for some good food, music and theater.

May 20, 12PM @ Janskerkhof: Utrecht Jazz Festival. Come for the Jazz, stay

for the food and dance.

June 6 - June 17 @ De Moestuin, Utrecht: Cultural Cookery 2018.

Student-run pop-up restaurant.

June 16, 2PM @ Utrecht Canals: Canal Pride 2018.

Every Friday, now until Sept 30 @ Lucas Bolwerk: Utrecht Skate Parade. Rollerblade a different route through Utrecht every week.

A University College Student Association Magazine

QUAD QUERIES

11

IF YOU HAD A BOAT, WHAT WOULD YOU CALL IT?

y

Bobb

hia

- Sop

nt I wa e am to n thing tan me eS it so us... Th o enti odgers t e r p R le - Ky

It’s min e Bitch -Hong

There are trails in no chem the sea

t rea G e Th nana Ba

- Jamie

-

The g eran m o o B ia

tte

ud Cla

arlo - Ch

aty Swe n me Sea en - Sv

Geoffrey Crew

y ny, m na o m Hege s are gon ent T stud ve THA o l ey - Cor

Not t somet he SS h that’s ing cause insens itive...

- Tim

- Geoffrey

Oscar - Ariel

- Jari THE BOOMERANG BOARD Clemens Schally | Editor-in-Chief Meike Eijsberg | Managing Editor Charlotte Remarque | Executive Editor Laura Hoogenraad | Executive Editor Aditya Agarwal | Layout and Design Lotte Schuengel | Art and Illustration Thomas Scassellati Sforzolini | Communications

Not - Go

Tita

nic

sse

With support from

Illustration © Aditya Agarwal, Lotte Schuengel

SS slutzz

I don’t want a boat -Helene

A University College Student Association Magazine

BLACKOUT

5

DO PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION DESERVE TO BE LOVED? by Unloveable

I

have suffered from depression for 6 years now. First in silence and now with the support of my friends. To my closest friends and partner, I have been completely honest. And it was such a relief.

To finally be able to talk about my suicide attempts, my recurrences of self-harm, and the dark hole that swallows me when things get bad. But while this all benefits me greatly, I notice that not only does it not benefit the people I confide in, but it in fact worsens them.

I have been with my partner for over a year, and while they have helped me so much through this time, I am aware that I have not helped them, and may even be making their life far more difficult.

Being able to admit when I self harmed was a huge relief for me, and made it something I had to be less conscious of. I could show my scars in more revealing clothing during summer and not be ashamed. But it has probably also made my friends conscious of ever setting it off. Wondering if after an argument I’ll go back to the knife, and that they’ll feel responsible. They walk on tiptoes around the fear of what I’ll do. For all I know, my partner wishes to end things but fears it will set me over the edge, and make me wish to end my life. I am so afraid in telling them how much they mean to me, and how much I need them, for the fear that they’ll believe they are my reason for living. And maybe sometimes they are, but it is still cruel to inform them of this. When I go into a dark place, I can’t do anything but curl up in bed wounded. My partner almost always comes when I tell them it is happening, and they hold me and wipe

my tears. But I wonder how many events I have dragged them away from. Time spent with friends, time spent enjoying university, time spent working for school. Every bad grade following an episode of mine, is something I am responsible for. I hurt their studies, and their friendships, this is simply a fact.

My depression makes me insecure, makes me question their whereabouts and any new friends. Every new individual they get close to is competition, is a round of questions fired, a round of tears cried. I can’t even let them have genuine friendships due to my jealousy and fear that they will find someone more stable, someone who strengthens them. Part of my depression makes me self-destructive.

Makes me push limits to see if they’ll stay. It’s an awful trait, I wholeheartedly agree, but one I am stuck with nonetheless. If they are not paying attention to me, I’ll go speak to someone I know will bother them, an ex-flame. I’ll try my best to ensure they see, to ensure that they know I am wanted, I am desirable. But I am not, not anymore.

I am tied to them, and they know it, everyone knows it. If I were a better person, I would let them go, so they could be happy. But I am selfish, and intent on dragging them down with me. I am ruining them to give myself a façade of happiness. It is cruel, and it shows that those who cannot love themselves perhaps do not deserved to be loved. One day we will, but for now they are paying the price of their lives for ours, and it is a sacrifice that should remain in Shakespearean works.

LONG LIVE THE KING by Jasmin

K

ing’s Day still fresh in our memories (or not, hehe), it might not be wrong to reconsider what our beautiful monarchy actually brings us. Everyone who has switched on the tv that day must have seen them, our precious King Willem-Alexander, his wife, three children and all his Oompa Loompas nobody really knows. Absolutely adorable, but do we really need them? I’d say no and I’ll tell you why.

First of all, you have the costs. Did you know that our king does not pay taxes? Not a penny. His entire existence is taken care of by all of us. In 2017, the royal family costed us 41,4 million euros(!). Say that the Netherlands have a population of around 17 million, that would mean that each and every one of us paid 2 euros and 44 cents to the King. That’s two beers at the bar, folks. I am not saying we would be better off financially without the King, a president costs lots of money, too. But still, a French president earns around 250 thousand euros a year and does pay taxes. Our King ‘earns’ more than threefold.

Mark another difference: you can choose your representative every four years, but you can’t choose your King. If you like Wim-Lex or not, you will be stuck with him for the next thirty years either way. Having a King is a bit like the infamous tradition of Black Piet. We don’t really have a reason for still having it, but we keep it for the sake of it being a tradition.

We say it’s typically Dutch, part of our national identity. Now, I hate to break it to you, but our royal family is not so Dutch at all. It is, first of all, highly questionable if our first King was even a Dutchman. Our queen-to-be Amalia is half Argentinian.

And it doesn’t end there, her grandfather was a German, and so was her great-grandfather. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that, but they are simply not Dutch.

Don’t worry, I am not saying we should abandon King’s Day. How about we make it a President’s Day instead?

Illustration © Jarne van der Poel

4

The Boomerang | May 2018

BLACKOUT

THE MYSTERY BEHIND THE MEMES:

AN INTERVIEW WITH DANNY HAUL Why did you start a UCU memes page? Fame? Satisfaction? Money?

As an outlet for creativity and jokes. The meme page is a humorous haven where everyone can be made fun of, in an amicable way.

Memes are something people can bond over, so hopefully it helps foster some feeling of community at UCU. Also, there have been numerous memes about UCU’s lack of diversity, so it also brings to light certain issues people think about, brought in a funny way. But honestly, I was just in dire need of a procrastination outlet during spring 2017 finals.

“

I like to think of Danny as a persona that will outlive me

What’s your stance on UCU confessions?

Good recipe, bland result. I miss the spice, like the confessions about pissing in the sink.

Why are you anonymous?

If Danny Haul were known to be a member of a specific group on campus, jokes about that group and others would take on a different meaning/dimension. I think the main point is to be able to equally make fun of everyone.

What is your proudest moment as a meme-page owner?

DINING HALL IS BEAUTIFUL

M

ore than two years ago, young, impressionable me arrived on this campus excited to finally experience a more or less self-determined life. Within hours however, my loving introweek parents had started that indispensable process sociologists like to call socialisation and made sure none of their newly independent kids develop the wrong opinions about anything. Among the most important truths we immediately internalised were that this place is a bubble and we shouldn’t even bother leaving, that we first years had no idea how little work we had compared to second years, and that Dining Hall is godforsakenly ugly.

And I believed them. Subsequently, whenever I talked about campus, I piously praised the beauty of the quad, the sleek modernism of W, and the gorgeous view from the tower. But there was always that one point of the conversation where faces changed: “It’s just Dining Hall. Man, it’s so ugly, how can anyone build such an architectural monstrosity? Can’t we just demolish it?” For years I silently nodded, and whenever friends came to visit, I gave them directions along the lines of: “Turn right at that ugly building.”

No more. Today, I am coming out to all of campus. Dining Hall is beautiful. It is an iconoclastic masterpiece of modern architecture.

Yes, it is imposing. The grey concrete amplifies any inner feelings of unease, those little voices that nag at your confidence, whispering: “This world is grey and dark, you are but a small cog in the machinery of mindless lifelong slavery, you will die alone and unfulfilled.”

Yes, its spaceship-like appearance, the worryingly straight and uninterrupted line of black windows gracing its side, the kraken-like fire-escape stairs gripping the floor in an attempt to hold the world

When the page hit more members than UCU students.

What’s your favourite meme?

Shrek memes. They are a true expression of human creativity and passion.

You’re friends with exactly one person on Facebook: Floortje van Hal. Seems like a fake account too. What’s up with that?

Thought the fact that someone else had gone through the effort of creating a new account to post spice interesting. Also low key enjoyed the thought of giving Danny some kind of partner in crime and in life. I am not related to that account (or Barrie Uccer’s) in any manner though.

Are you ever planning on revealing yourself?

I think Danny’s mysterious identity adds something special to the page. But in the end, who I am doesn’t matter anyway; I like to think of Danny as a persona that will outlive me and find new hosts, UCU generation after generation. I probably will tell some people though just to revel in the look of confusion and surprise on their face, just for a split second until they remind me that it’s really more sad than it is impressive.

Are you willing to indicate anything about your identity?

Gender? Where are you from? What do you study?

There is no singular answer to this. However, everyone has biases, so if you don’t have anything better to do, or you do but don’t want to do it, you can try to analyze my memes real hard and come up with the beginning of an answer to some of these questions. Don’t forget to drop a heart reacc though.

by I’m Anonymous and Scary

in cold motionlessness, the darkened entrance, all of these break the harmonious ensemble of our red bricked, elegant campus.

“

whenever friends came to visit, I gave them directions along the lines of: “Turn right at that ugly building.”

Yes, the minimal, radically unadorned façade rejects any notions of playfulness, joy, or idealism. It confronts us with a reality the rest of the campus architecture is eager to suppress. It reminds us that there is a world out there, and that that world can be gruesome, unjust, and nasty.

Precisely these emotions are what make this building so great.

Like any form of art, bad architecture can only be found in the mediocre. Bad architecture is the buildings we ignore, the ones that don’t stir something up inside of us, the ones that we walk by without giving them a second thought. The pervasive hate towards Dining Hall is in fact the biggest compliment we can make to the architect. Dining Hall serves to break the dangerous illusion of perfection on this campus. I am convinced that this building makes us better people.

Dining Hall, I love you.

A University College Student Association Magazine

BLACKOUT nation. It’s actually not too difficult. Mandelbaum outlines three defining features: territorial organization (“the bubble”); institutional structure (the University College Student Association); and temporal continuity (does everyone still toast to ‘a posse ad esse’ at the GA and chant ‘To the Bar’ every Thursday night?).

So, let’s think about implementing an epistocratic theory. Dr. Moyo suggests introducing minimum voting requirements based on a ‘civics test’ and then weight voting based on the results. The outcome would be a system in which those judged to be more qualified would see their votes count for more than those who are not.

Considering the whole point of a Liberal

Arts and Sciences education is to make us better citizens in the twenty-first century, let us presume acceptance constitutes the minimum voting requirement. Thankfully, a system is already established to weight the votes - Grade Point Averages. Essentially, your GPA determines how much your vote counts for. For example, the value of a vote cast by someone with a GPA of 2.8 would count for 17.5% less than that of someone with a GPA of 3.5. This would weight the system so that the smartest students would have the loudest voices. Theoretically, this might encourage students to push for higher GPAs and to encourage students with higher GPAs to get more involved in campus politics.

3

In part, I suggest this thought experiment because it is polemic, but it also works effectively to contextualise the system.

My hypothesis would be that the intelligence range of UCU students is too small to register a difference in electoral outcomes.

Moreover, the system of weighting outlined above is in itself objectionable - a political science major with a 2.8 might have a better understanding of the UCSA’s policies than a performance studies major with a 3.5. It would, at the very least, be an interesting thesis for a political science major. After all, we live in a world in which liberal democracy might not still exist by the time the Class of 2020 graduates.

THE ROAST OF CE SOIR by Roast King

W

ith trepidation in my heart and last year’s gender-bent disaster still fresh in my mind, I went to see UCU’s rendition of Boobs in Paris. Some notes on casting: in an effort to publicly castrate him, director Fleurine Tideman cast her own boyfriend as a whining, sensitive poet with a penchant for singing ballads.

I commend this unexpected casting choice, along with the bold decision to have Maurits de Vos play a flamboyant comic relief character – who knew he had it in him! Other wonderful performances included Literally the Creepiest Man I’ve Ever Seen, Does He Even Go Here as “the Duke” and Francisca Somann as “Most Heterosexual Lesbian.” It was also nice to see Anique Greijmans grace the stage one more time, now that she is so close to retirement. She is holding up well for a woman her age, I must say. Thoroughly baffling was the decision to cast Djin Kastje, a stunning 6 foot tall gazelle, as a bumbling chubby stooge – but the theater gods have spoken.

They have also decided to write in a new character, “Bored Woman Holding Violin,” played with remarkable poise by Abeltje Everard. Thank God someone forgot to arrange a violin part, so the audience could spend two whole hours looking at those legs of hers. I was also impressed by the costume design. Is there a better way to keep people on the edge of their seats than with the constant threat of a nip slip? This decision was almost as brilliant as the one in which every song was announced by writing the lyrics into the dialogue, a joke so cheesy and repetitive it kept the middle-aged moms

“

Is there a better way to keep people on the edge of their seats than with the constant threat of a nipslip? in the audience wheezing with laughter throughout the show. My experience was only heightened by the fumbling with empty champagne glasses and malfunctioning microphones, the copious amounts of guyliner, and a death scene so immersive it made me actually feel like I had tuberculosis, too.

In all seriousness, never in my time at UCU have I seen such an explosion of energy, dance, music and raw talent.

This musical was fastpaced, funny, and so laden with extravagant musical numbers that I can’t believe it was put on by a group of students. Especially the central actresses seemed like professional performers, whether they were acting, singing, or dancing. Paul van Laar as conductor (and gift to women everywhere, though he seemed to be wearing his girlfriend’s clothes) is a genius, and his musical arrangements were executed flawlessly by the band. The brilliant choreography, the acting, the risqué costumes, the cleavage contouring, the tango cover of “Roxanne,” Hugo and Voldemort’s performance of “Like a Virgin,” all that kissing, the fairylight windmill – they blew the audience away, leaving us to go home, bitter and talentless, but ultimately satisfied.

Illustration © Lise Dirksen

2

The Boomerang | May 2018

BLACKOUT

THE HEAVINESS OF THE BUBBLE by First Year Student

T

he fact that this campus leaves a great impression on many people’s lives is nothing new. Whether you’ve completely found yourself in the social hustle and bustle of campus life or experienced the toll it takes on your mental health, campus affects each and every one of us. Many of you may have read things similar to this article, but I’m going to try and walk you through my experience of my first year, and how I have attempted to make sense of this place.

I’m a typical first year student. I get involved on campus here and there: I’m on a board, attend some of the many events, and you’ll likely see me at the bar once a week. My first year on this campus is about to come to a close, and though I am still left mystified by the many intricacies that have come with life at UCU, I have resigned to explaining it to outsiders as a “hate to love and love to hate” kind of thing.

I’m often surprised to hear how much some of my friends love UCU. I don’t know whether they are sugarcoating their experience or not, but I know that I do not enjoy living on campus nearly as much as they do. I have struggled with my own share of mental health issues, though for me this was never created by campus as much as it was a result of my uncertainty about being here. I recently read A Man’s Search for Meaning. The author, a trained psychiatrist who tells of his time in a concentration camp, explains that people don’t search for happiness, but that they search for purpose and meaning.

Please do not get me wrong, the concentration camp aspect has absolutely nothing to do with what I am getting at. What what resonates with me is the fact that a lack of purpose can affect someone more than a lack of happiness.

UCU is a campus filled with an ambitious and intelligent student body. Though the system mirrors colleges in the US, the campus life here is very different. Compared to the student bodies at American universities, ranging from around 5,000 to 50,000 students, our meagre 900 does not compare. On top of this, the Netherlands differentiates between levels of higher education based on different types of intelligence. MBO is the first level, HBO the second, and University is the highest, being much more theoretical and less hands-on than the other two. This means that at UCU we already have a selection of the smartest and most ambitious students, seeing as only the highest levels of secondary education can get you in. In contrast to other Dutch universities, we have a grade-requirement

to get in. With this I am not saying that we are surrounded by the top of society or anything like that. I’m just saying that on average, the students at UCU are well educated, intelligent, and reflective.

“

I’m often surprised to hear how much some of my friends love UCU.

It has been proven before that with an increased level of intelligence, there is an increased chance of being affected by depression and other mental health issues. This relates back to what I said earlier. We will often be the ones in search of purpose and meaning, wanting to find these in everything we do. Going through the motions of campus life, whilst having zero idea what I want to do with my life after UCU, really fucks with my head sometimes—occasionally even to the point of just straight up not getting out of bed, because why would I? What makes UCU such a breeding spot for this feeling of futility?

It really is rare in its kind, both in its being an honours college as well as having a small student body. We are not so much living in a community as we are living in a commune. We live in such close proximity to one another, many of us highly sensitive and aware students, that we reflect our feelings on each other. I have never felt such a heavy weight on my chest as I have during finals in fall term. This was not just because of my own stress and lack of sleep, but the overall feeling of exhaustion and suffering that loomed over campus like the ghost of anxiety. The bubble isn’t just the campus, the bubble is all of UCU’s students and what we contribute to it.

So, even though I am fully aware of the wonderful attributes of UCU, I am also painfully aware of the heaviness of the bubble, and how it affects the individual’s mind. I’m not trying to explain why people suffer from mental health issues on this campus, for it is an extremely personal thing that could appear from anything and nothing. I just believe that for me, campus life has heightened the likeliness of mental struggles and existential crises. Does this mean I hate it? I’m not sure yet, but I have two more years to figure it out.

EPISTOCRATISE THE UCSA! by Anonymous Alumnus

I

n 2016, Jason Brennan, Professor of Philosophy at Georgetown University, published Against Democracy. The following year, A.C. Grayling, Master of New College of the Humanities, published Democracy and Its Crisis. Most recently, Dr. Dambisa Moyo, the renowned macroeconomist and former World Bank analyst, published Edge of Chaos. All three books conclude that the current model of liberal representative democracy is inferior to epistocracy.

Indeed, in a world where Donald Trump was democratically elected, how can we not? Before Brennan’s book was published, our own campus newspaper published an insightful – albeit highly controversial – article entitled Apologia Optimatum (‘A Defence of Good Men’). In it, the author argued that governance was a skill. Like

“

You wouldn’t want to place your life in the scalpels of an incompetent surgeon.

any skill, it is something which needs to be learned and practiced. Like any skill, not everyone possesses it. To employ Brennan’s example, you wouldn’t want to place your life in the scalpels of an incompetent surgeon.

So why are we so content to place our lives in the votes of incompetent people? This was the first time I had questioned democracy.

A keen debater, I concluded that democracy simply cannot be a first principle. It isn’t even well-defined. And I’m not alone.

According to a paper by Harvard University’s Yascha Mounk and World Values Survey’s Roberto Foa, millenials are less attached to the abstract notion of ‘democracy’ than previous generations. Yet UCU students continue to employ universal suffrage seemingly unquestioningly. Indeed, to question it leads to social exclusion.

Now, already banished from the Elysian playing fields of Campusplein 1, I thought it would be interesting to trial a little thought experiment. After all, Hans Adriaansens did envisage UCU as a space to explore the frontiers of new ideas. Let’s imagine UCU is a

A University College Student Association Magazine

The

BLACKOUT

Blackout

12

A May 2018 Special

IS BARCO A FRATERNITY?

by Bar Visitor

A

re the Chiefs a Fraternity? I would like to begin by noting that yes, I do appreciate the work the Chiefs and BarCo do for us. They work long hours behind that bar for the good of the campus, and I applaud this.

I simply feel that aside from this work, the bias and inappropriate behaviors occurring can no longer go undisputed. I feel BarCo should be held to the same standards that other committees are, and this includes their selection processes.

The process to select Chiefs closely resembles that of a fraternity or sorority.

Individuals are nominated, partly based on the number of shifts they have completed, but mainly based o n whether they have friends in the group.

I f an individual i s seconded, they will be discussed at the election. At the election, a slideshow is presented with each individual, and then they are discussed.

This is the exact process for sororities and fraternities, and sadly even similar traits are discussed. How well do they fit in the group? How much fun would they be on Chief days? There is little regard for the qualities that make a good Chief, such as responsibility, leadership and the ability to pour a half decent beer. Perhaps if it was, we would have less issues of beers ‘wasted’ and being given away or used themselves, as well as a shorter line for a foam filled

drink. Then the Chiefs vote, and the most popular individuals are chosen, while the lesser known ones do not get it, and keep trying their whole time here.

Another quality that is discussed is whether they are in a sorority or fraternity, as they avoid having numerous from the same.

They claim this is to avoid groups within the Chief group, but is the same effect not reached through friend groups being taken in? Furthermore, it is remarkable that this issue is not taken into account with s o m e groups, as 2 Primus members were accepted in the same Chief round making 4 in the whole of the Chief group, while sorority girls were rejected for there being one other member in the whole of the group.

The selection process for BarCo is even worse.

Individuals fill in the questionnaire, which consists of numerous useless questions, e.g. to draw a new logo and ‘Which current BarCo member would you sleep with?’. Again, are these traits really relevant to the position at hand?

The interview consists of the applicants getting inappropriately intoxicated beforehand and then having to complete ridiculous tasks to please the board, such as humping a bar stool. This selection process is even worse than that of boards for sororities and fraternities, where the individ-

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This is a board handling hundreds of thousands of euros and getting drunk twice a semester on UCSA member funds. uals write a campaign document with their ideas and plans, and then speech in front of the group and are voted upon. Why are the Chiefs not included in the selection? Why is the UCSA not included in the selection? This is a board handling hundreds of thousands of euros, and thus it would be comforting to know that they are being handled appropriately, and not paying for Chiefs getting drunk twice a semester on UCSA member funds. I propose the UCSA CAO be at least involved in the selection process, to reduce possibilities of bias. A simple change, with a longterm result. If ArtsCo were not allowed beer pong in the Bar for fear of Dutch Law against promoting drinking, then why is BarCo’s public initiation of members with taking a shot on each step permitted and promoted?

Why can BarCo organize games of slapcup as they please but no one else can? They have trips paid for, yet get free accommodation from a member’s family, and thus spend the money on excessive alcohol for the weekend.

I’ve heard that BarCo feels they deserve a course reduction, and I see why given their enormous workload and responsibilities. But if you want the same treatment as ASC and UCSA, should you not be held to the same standards? Chosen by the public and under the same scrutiny. . Let’s apply the same rules to all, and reduce chances of bias and nepotism from polluting our fair campus.

Cheers to BarCo and the Chief group for their work, but why not follow the rules and make it a fair game, so we can appreciate you wholeheartedly?

Illustration © Lise Dirksen

in this edition…

4

• An interview with Danny Haul

2

• Epistocratise the UCSA!

• The roast of Ce Soir

3

• Why we shouldn’t have a monarchy 5