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Elder helps community through grief with traditional teachings DONNA DURIC
donna@tworowtimes.com
TWO ROW TIMES
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The discovery of previously hidden children’s remains on the grounds of residential schools across Canada last year sent shockwaves around the world. But nowhere did the grief hit harder than with Indigenous people and First Nations communities. Crisis lines were developed to cope with the emotions that surfaced with the discoveries and here at Six Nations, as the community awaits preliminary results from a ground seach last fall at the former Mohawk Institute in Brantford, healing is ongoing. Mohawk Elder Tom Porter, of Akwesasne, provided some traditional teachings on grief last week during a special online presentation for community members. “A lot of people are experiencing emotions
and feelings especially in regards to the unmarked graves across Canada,” said Erin Hill, with the Six Nations Health Services Community Crisis Response team. “We all feel it and we all know that it’s out there.” She acknowledged that everyone in the community grew up hearing the atrocious stories of their parents’ and grandparents’ experiences at residential schools. Last year, many of those old wounds were re-opened and now the grief of survivors and their descendants is being recognized. “We have a lot of feelings,” said Hill. “We have a lot of things that are happening in our minds,” she said, so the team invited Porter to share his knowledge on how Haudenosaunee people would traditionally deal with grief. “There is nobody in the whole world that is going to avoid grief,” said Porter. “Everyone is going to experience it several times
in their life. It also has a power. It can sometimes knock you down. It’s a powerful thing ot happen when death occurs.” However, he said, “Do not fear death. That’s the first thing the Creator told us: do not fear death. It’s a natural thing to occur but it is powerful.” He said the Creator has kept a secret how many days each person will live on earth. “You’re never ready. It’s always a shock. The impact is always great.” In the old days, he said, there would be a different holler depending on if a chief died or a member of the community died, he died. A faithkeeper would be informed of the death by a runner. They would say who passed and how. Porter said the bear clan would call a meeting and then organize who will cook, who will talk at the funeral, who will dig the grave, who will prepare the body and who will prepare the house to
receive the body, among other duties. “The bear clan has to do all the work for the wolf and the turtle during their time of grief,” he said. But whenever someone from the bear clan passes, the turtle and the wolf are called to attend to the bear clan because they’re not closely related and the “dust of death” Porter said, has not blurred their eyes. “Their eyes are not blurred with the tears of sadness as much, so they are able to see. Their hearing is alert because they haven’t lost somebody close in their family and that’s why the opposite side has to do the talking, the cooking, the dressing, and aid them, when they’re in grief.” “Our longhouse where I live, they follow that,” he said. “My mother used to cook for the longhouse. When my mother passed away all the wolf and turtle clan came over for the whole nine days. They cooked for us, they cleaned for us, they did
everything for us, for the whole nine days, they worried about us.” He said in birth and death we are given seven times the power to come into the world and seven times the power to leave the world. “In that sense, birth and death are connected,” he said. “Because of that power, we’re not supposed to be touching dead people. Only certain people are allowed to touch the body. When they’re finished, they have to use ginger to sprinkle their hands and their body and head.” Porter reminded those listening that we all must die and that life will continue without our loved ones. “Even though your grandma or loved one has passed, the birds didn’t stop singing,” he said. “The wind didn’t stop flowing, so we want you to think about that…your loved one has gone. If you think about that, it will help ease your sorrow and grief.”
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