AUGUST 2021
Magazine
The Wellness Issue Exploring all aspects of family health & wellness
Breastfeeding Awareness
Every question you’ve ever had answered by breastfeeding expert & lactaction consultant,
Katinka Musavaya EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW
with Janet Sibanda, founder of Mwanangu, Mntanami Natural Postpartum Care
with Dr. Nyarai Paweni
Waka’s
Wacky World 8 year old author
Waka Bwanya
on dreaming BIG!
Our Team Content Manager Contributors
Design
Editor in Chief Shingie Mangwiro
Makaita Mawunganidze
Katinka Musavaya Dr. Nyarai Paweni Jane Jambaya Janet Sibanda The Rogue Creative
theroguecreatives@gmail.com
For Advertising & Enquiries Contact Us sales@tudiki.com magazine@tudiki.com
+263 784 714 385 +263 718 911 752
In This Issue 04 06
From the Editor’s Cover Story Desk Breastfeeding Waka Bwanya Awareness Month The 8-year-old
30
Katinka Musavaya
author of ‘My Teapot Country’ tells us all about herself!
[ICBLC]
Answering any & all questions you’ve ever had about breastfeeding
15
Youth drug abuse in Zimbabwe
The warning signs and how you can help your children recover
Janet Sibanda
38
Natural remedies to heal & care for your body after giving birth
40
20
On decoding motherhood and creating safe spaces for women to be!
Dr Nyarai Paweni
Breastfeeding Factsheet
All the benefits both you & your baby gain!
42 Letters from Aunt Jane How in-tune are you to your children’s feeling and emotions?
27
Childhood Exercise & Fitness
The benefits of nurturing an active lifestyle from a young age!
46 48
What’s Cooking?
Tips to a keeping a balanced lunch box as schools open back up!
Kidz Korner
How well do you know Zimbabwe? Do this quiz and find out!
49 TUDiki B-days!
From the Editor’s Desk
Dear Reader, We meet each other yet again, in a new issue! We sincerely hope that you have all been keeping well and staying safe. We are super grateful to everyone who is reading and sharing the magazine! You guys are the heartbeat that keeps us going. This month’s cover story, is a bright star who is pushing boundaries and achieving her goals! Wakatendeka Bwanya is one of Zimbabwe’s youngest published authors at 8 years old! She just recently published her book, ‘My Teapot Country’ and we had to talk to her! Stories like these are why we created this magazine! We love to share and triumph in the joys and achievements of Zimbabwe’s golden people! We celebrate World Breastfeeding Week from 1-7 August. One of TUDiki's goals is to share information, to educate and equip parents to be the best they can be. We've gone all out and invited a leading expert in the field of breastfeeding and lactation, Katinka Musavaya. And all this ties into our theme for the month, wellness. When we speak of 4
wellness most people stop at physical wellness. Not that it isn’t important, but we also wanted to explore the other aspects of wellness; what does it mean to be truly well? We really hope that you enjoy the August issue of the TUDiki Magazine, and we welcome your comments and feedback as always! If you have a story you want to share with us, or a business you want to advertise don’t hesitate to contact us via email: sales@tudiki.com or via WhatsApp: +263 784 714 385! And good luck to all of you as you start preparing to get back to school!
Be well & stay safe! With love, Shingie!
Back TO SCHOOL Get all your school supplies from us!
+263 784 714 385
Breastfeeding Awareness Week August 1 - 7
In celebration of Breastfeeding Awareness Month, we sat down with Katinka for an informative talk about all things breastfeeding. And we made sure to ask any and everything you could think of!
Katinka Musavaya is a fellow mother, a peer supporter, and a certified lactation consultant with a passion and a calling to help other mothers and their babies on their breastfeeding journeys. She runs her own Private Practice as a Lactation Consultant IBCLC.
Contact Katinka for more information katinkabreastfeeding.com @KatinkaBreastfeeding +263 78 492 1717
Q. Katinka, what led you down this path of supporting families and their babies in their breastfeeding journeys? For me, it was a calling. I never dreamed of becoming a lactation consultant. I was actually in the agricultural sector and I studied up to master's in the field – that was my chosen profession. The opportunity arose when I needed help with my own children when they were younger. My firstborn was born in Germany and I had access to all these support groups and midwives that came into my home and supported my breastfeeding journey. And when my number two and three were born here, in Zimbabwe, I wasn't really struggling, but I was missing that sort of community amongst breastfeeding mums and this led me to become a La Leche League leader. La Leche League is a worldwide breastfeeding support organisation. It's a peer support organisation that offers mothers access to information about the normal course of breastfeeding. After becoming a leader I initially treated it as a hobby but as I did more research in the area I learned about becoming a certified lactation consultant through the International Board of Lactation. And that’s when I knew that I had found my true calling! These past 5 years of working with mothers and their babies have awakened a deep passion in me to help and support
katinka@katinkabreastfeeding.com 7
them through their breastfeeding journeys and even before, while they are preparing for baby to come. I’ve also learned to treat each case as a unique case. Although we have countless books and years of research that help guide how to respond to problems, the reality is that there is no manual to breastfeeding. Every case has its own differences. Q. How long have you been working in this field? I wear 2 hats. My first is as a volunteer supporter and I've been doing that for 6 years. I am also an Internationally Certified Breastfeeding and Lactation Consultant (ICBLC) and my practice is almost 5 years now. Q. What is the full scope of the services that you offer at your practice? I consider the work I do to be a part of the essential support network for mums and babies after birth. Although I mainly focus on home visits, I also work with Paediatricians who need help assessing whether or not there are any feeding issues between mum and baby. For many women, reality usually sets in once they are discharged from the hospital and are without the support they get after birth from midwives, nurses, and their doctors. So I come in, help, and support them with any advice they may need from feeding their babies more efficiently to making the breastfeeding experience more comfortable and enjoyable. I also offer a Well-Baby breastfeeding package. A lot of mums take advantage of it because it helps them identify any warning signs the baby or their bodies may be giving them. The package is especially helpful to new mums who don’t really know what they are doing.
8
And lastly, I offer baby massages. I am a certified baby massage instructor through the International Association of Infant Massage. And I am now offering classes. It's been a terribly slow start because of the pandemic, but I’m going to be offering my lessons online soon. Q. Breastfeeding is often made to be an innate skill in all mothers, something that comes to you naturally after giving birth, do you agree? No. Breastfeeding is very much a learned skill that we don't have the opportunity to learn because of the micro family structures we live in today. 100 years ago, by the time you were 20 years old, you would have seen 20-30 babies being breastfed by different relatives. And when you did need help you had many Gogos and aunties you could ask for tips and advice. Nowadays, that baby is most probably the first or second baby you've ever held in your arms! Breastfeeding can end up causing a lot of stress to new mothers, if the baby is not
feeding properly most mothers tend to blame themselves, which is absolutely not the case. They just don't have somebody to hold their hand & teach them.
There are so many benefits to breastfeeding. Not only does it act as a natural family planning tool, but breastfeeding is also known to reduce bleeding in mothers. I know an obstetrician who always puts the baby to the breast after a caesarean because it reduces the bleeding while she's operating on her patients. Other than that, studies show that women who breastfeed have a reduced risk of getting diseases like diabetes, osteoporosis, and cancer! There are probably 100 other things that I'm forgetting right now, but I must stress that “It is so important to have a mum breastfeeding is more supporter in your life. They will be able than sacrificing yourself for the sake of to show you all the little signs and your baby. It is the symptoms you can pick up on to learn natural progression how breastfeeding is going.” from pregnancy. And it is really healthy for your body and your mind! Studies show Breastfeeding is like learning to ride a that breastfeeding is therapeutic and bicycle – in the same way you learn to healing to mums especially after balance your body on the bike, you have traumatic births. to learn what works and what doesn't for both you and the baby. How does my Q. What would you say are common baby react to this? What does my baby challenges for breastfeeding mums? do if I do that? These are all things you So the most common challenge is really learn throughout the process. that worry that they might not have enough milk. If you're worried about this Q. What would you say are some of the lookout for the following: is your baby benefits of breastfeeding for mum and for swallowing? Is your baby passing healthy the baby? stool and urine? Is your baby growing? Is The benefits for babies are the ones we it gaining weight? If you answered yes to hear all the time. Breastmilk is all of these then you don't have a low undeniably invaluable for babies. And the milk supply problem. same goes for mums.
Q. Is formula a no-no? Mixing breastfeeding with formula is not a problem but it can lead to unintentionally weaning your baby. So, let's say you're worried about your baby's intake and you give one bottle of formula. If you continue for about a week or two you'll find that suddenly you have less milk than before. So naturally, you're going to add a second bottle of formula and before you know it your baby is on 100% formula.
“There is always a breastfeeding solution to a breastfeeding problem.” Giving a bottle of formula is not going to solve your problem of low milk supply. That being said formula isn’t bad for the baby not in the slightest. It is life-saving for babies who lose their mothers at birth. But, if you want to breastfeed and you have enough milk then don't give formula. Q. If a woman has low milk supply, is there any way she can encourage her body to make more milk? Or is it a lost cause? 10
There is always a way of making more milk and a lot of women think that what you eat counts. Diet is not the most important driver of milk production, the solution is much simpler than that. If you’re worried that you might not be making enough milk start breastfeeding more often. Every time you do this, there's going to be a signal to the brain saying I'm feeding now and I need to speed up production. Look at your breasts as a factory that's making milk. If more customers are coming to the factory, you're going to start producing faster. But if it's a Sunday and not a lot of people are coming to the factory, you're going to slow down production.
Babies naturally help to regulate your milk supply because when they need more they will feed more. And as long as your baby has access to the breast, the baby is going to be responsible for your milk production. There's not much more you need to do. Feed your baby on demand, whether it's every 3 hours or 30 minutes, it doesn't matter. Just keep feeding your baby and you will have enough milk. Q. Is it true that anyone can start producing breast milk even if they didn’t give birth to the baby? Yes, this is a very basic survival instinct that women have been utilising for ages. Back in the day, there was no formula. If
a mother died during childbirth, older female relatives would take over breastfeeding her baby.
There are two categories: 1. Re-lactation Applies to women who have breastfed before & want to get your milk back. 2. Induced Lactation Applies to women who have never breastfed. Even if you have never been pregnant before you can start producing milk. This method often applies in situations where there's an adoption or a baby born via surrogate. Q. How long does it take? It differs. If you've breastfed before, you will produce milk faster. When inducing lactation you can get some milk within 3-4 months. And to achieve this you have to do continuous feeding with a baby or even using a breast pump. I run a support group for mums who are inducing lactation, after a consultation, I put them into my support group so that
they can rely on their peers and learn from them. Q. If I'm a working mum who still wants to breastfeed after I've gone back to work, how can I make sure that my milk supply remains high? One of the major challenges for working moms today is the struggle to maintain their breastfeeding relationship. Depending on the work you do, it might be difficult for you to find time to pump during work hours. If you are working a full day, you would need to have three pumping sessions in that day to keep milk supply up. Working moms need to know that they've got rights because employers are not going to volunteer this information. I recommend that mums combine their pumping breaks with their tea break or their lunch break to pump. This will be enough milk for the baby to drink the next day so you don’t even have to start formula! I know that some workplaces might not be very conducive for pumping, but try to think outside the box and liaise with your colleagues. There is almost always a way for you to find that little bit of privacy for a quick pumping session.
Zimbabwean Mothers are protected by the law! Female workers are entitled to paid nursing breaks (at least one hour or two 30-minute breaks) for the period during which she actually nurses her child or six months, whichever is the lesser. The breast-feeding/nursing breaks can be combined with the normal breaks an employee receives. §18(8-11) of the Labour Act 1985
Q. We spoke about diet before, how important is your diet as a nursing mum? Diet is not as big a factor most people think it is but it is important that mum is healthy and is eating a balanced diet. There is no specific diet to follow or any special foods you need to eat. That’s all a myth. We also do not need to double our portions. Those double portions are going straight to the hips because breastfeeding only needs 500 extra calories. And learn to trust your body; it is going to tell you what you need to eat by having these funny little cravings. Q. How long should women breastfeed? Both our Ministry of Health and The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for at least two years and then as long as mother and baby want. So there technically is no limit, that’s a personal decision for mum to make but the longer you breastfeed the better for your baby.
“Toddlers also benefit from receiving breast milk, so it's up to you how long you choose to breastfeed your child.” 12
Q. What’s the best way to wean a baby? What I've seen in Zimbabwe is that a lot of mothers choose to just stop abruptly which can be very damaging to both mum and baby. Weaning should be a process, gradually breastfeeding less and less so the baby gets used to it and gets accustomed to the bottle. And for mum, abrupt weaning can cause engorgement and mastitis or breast abscesses which are painful infections of breast tissue caused by blocked milk ducts. Engorgement can also result in sagging breasts, so if you want to keep your breasts perky, then wean slowly. Q. So how long should you wean? The fastest window I can suggest is dropping a meal every three to four days. I would not recommend going any faster than that. At that rate, it should take about a month to fully wean if you were feeding your baby 10 times a day. However, the process usually takes a lot longer because some feeds are going to be harder to drop. You're probably going to stay with the bedtime feed for a little bit longer than the 10AM feed.
It also depends on how old the baby is when you start weaning. A baby under a year is still going to be dependent on milk so you would have to add formula into the mix. If the baby is older than a year, you can add cow's milk to the diet to supplement breast milk. And if they are over 2 years old, you can just transition into a normal diet. There will be no need for any additional milk.
3. Watch the nappies.
4 Tips to a better Breastfeeding experience! 1. Early and often skin-to-skin contact. The first 3 weeks play an important role in determining your relationship with your baby. If there's any sort of problem, skin-to-skin is like your reset button. Most mums fear skin-to-skin because they feel it might make the baby cold because it involves being naked. But, it's actually warmer for both mum & baby!
The baby’s outputs will show you whether or not they are feeding enough in the first three or more months. 4. Seek Support
2. Absolutely no pain.
Breastfeeding should never be painful. Make that your baby is latching correctly. The nipple should be further in the mouth so that it doesn’ t rub against the rough ridges in the baby's mouth.
Surround yourself with supportive people. Make sure the friends and family you keep around you are on your side. And ask for help from people who have had children. Organize to get help in the home especially after birth. Organize meals to be cooked for you so that you can spend your time and energy on nothing but healing, connecting, and feeding your baby!
Only the best for the best!
Get all your breastfeeding supplements from us! Philips Avent provides quality products that are easy to use and ensure maximum comfort for mum!
Available in all TUDiki stores! Westgate
Westgate Shopping Center 1 Fountain Court
Borrowdale
Village Walk Shopping Centre Cnr Borrowdale Rd & Green Cl
Call or Whatsapp
+263 784 714 385
Youth Substance Abuse Everything you need to know to protect your children from falling in the trap. Drug use is rising rapidly especially among the youth in Zimbabwe. As parents, your primary job is to protect your children in the best way you can – in the form of preventing it from ever beginning or by recognizing the early signs so that you can help your children in the early stages. And the best way you can do either is to be equipped with knowledge and to speak to your children, open and candid talks about drugs and what they can do to their lives.
15
But what are drugs? Drugs are defined as a psychoactive substance that people take to change either the way they feel, think, or behave. This includes alcohol and tobacco as well as other natural and manufactured drugs. In the past, most drugs were made from plants (marijuana, cocaine). But now, there are also drugs made from chemicals. These are called man-made, or synthetic drugs, and include speed, ecstasy, LSD, crystal meth and many others According to the UNODC (United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime), there are several factors that make someone more susceptible to drug use. The “Modified Social Stress Model” helps us to identify certain risk and protective factors that can lead an individual to either start using drugs or prevents them from using drugs. If the risk factors in outweigh the protective factors, it is likely that they will start abusing drugs – likely but not determined.
Personal Risk Factors Gender More men use drugs. But it is important to note that women are more likely to abuse “legal” substances like alcohol or prescription medication. Youth Being young, looking for answers, trying to fit in and to find your place in the world can be a difficult time for children. Mental Illness If someone has mental problems, they are also susceptible to drug abuse.
16
Undeveloped or underdeveloped personal skills If your child has difficulty expressing what they feel, or asserting themselves, or problem-solving or simply finds it difficult to make decisions, this can make them more likely to use drugs.
Environmental Risk Factors 1. The young person’s guardians neglect the child’s physical and emotional needs and don’t provide proper guidance & support. 2. The young person does not have a family 3. The young person has someone close to them that abuses drugs & substances of any kind (including alcohol). 4. Mental, physical, sexual or verbal abuse (including bullying) 5. Hanging out with people who abuse drugs 6. The society/community they are living in condones drug use 7. Homelessness 8. They have few/no opportunities for education 9. A lot of free unstructured time with no constructive, imaginative and challenging activities to do 10. No job opportunities or even the hope of getting a fulfilling job 11. Lack of health services & support 12. Availability of drugs
Personal Protective Factors Well-developed personal skills that can help deal with difficult situations like peer pressure. They are able to analyse situations, make quick decisions (especially regarding their own safety), and to communicate clearly with others.
Environmental Protective Factors 1. Great personal relationships with people around them including family members, friends, and even animals and things that encourage caring, sharing and bonding. This can mean having a friend who is willing to help them out in difficult situations or having a pet that they must look after. In both cases, they learn to be responsible not only for someone else but for their own self. 2. Adequate resources that fulfil the physical, mental and emotional needs of the person, like schools, access to health services, recreational activities, sport facilities, employment opportunities and things like that 3. Cultural and societal norms that discourage substance abuse.
As much as these factors help us to identify people who are at higher risk, they are not fool-proof. These are guidelines based on information that experts working with addicts have compiled over years. As we know, everyone is unique and so are their experiences. These factors do not cover all the possible things that contribute to young people taking drugs. And they certainly don’t give us one or even the most important reason for drug abuse in that person’s experience. But, they do give us things to be aware of when trying to help our children.
Symptoms of drug abuse
So now we’ve talked about the risk factors, what about the symptoms? What are the early tells that someone may be using drugs? Look out for: • Significant changes in mood/ personality • Behavioural changes • Changes in hygiene and appearance
If you are worried about your child seek professional help!
W O L FOL US
@tudiki
@tudikishop
@tudikishop
Crib
Recliner
Play Chair
Highchair
The Chicco Baby Hug is an award-winning, innovative 4-in-1 solution designed with the baby’s comfort in mind! It comes with a mobile toy bar that plays day & night music and has a soft glowing nightlight.
Available in all TUDiki stores! Westgate
Westgate Shopping Center 1 Fountain Court
Borrowdale
Village Walk Shopping Centre Cnr Borrowdale Rd & Green Cl
Call or Whatsapp
+263 784 714 385
Decoding Motherhood Through Blogging Janet Sibanda is a mother on a mission to create a safe and open space for fellow mothers to share their stories, experiences, and lessons along their journeys. And her blog, Mwanangu Mntanami is a blog that spotlights the parenting experience fueled by the Zimbabwean context. Janet is a jack of all trades; a mother to two kids, a business 20
consultant, a wife, a businesswoman, and a blogger; a peer supporter who is bringing to light the ups and downs of the experiences embodied in motherhood and parenthood. It was her thirst for knowledge and her inquisitive nature that led Janet to start Mwanangu Mntanami. And with 2 books on the way, there is no stopping her!
Q. Tell us all about your journey to becoming who you are today. My journey has been long but very educational. My parents split up when I was quite young, and my father remarried so I grew up in a blended family. Growing up in that environment taught me to adapt and survive. And these are skills I still use to this day. I developed a troubleshooting or solution-oriented approach to life. No matter what situation or hurdle life throws at me I will always look for the lessons I can take from it. This gives me the peace of mind that if I'm ever to find myself in a comparable situation, I’ll be able to handle it from a position of experience and knowledge as opposed to experiencing the hardships all over again. This is one of my favorite aspects of myself and it’s a mode I often default to.
Q. And what was life like growing up? I travelled a lot in my childhood. My father was a civil servant and he had diplomatic missions in different countries across the world. We lived in Russia, the UK, Botswana, and Zimbabwe. And this exposure to diverse cultures and ways of living is something that shaped the way I look at the world today.
Q. Most people end up failing to settle down after having hopped from place to place in their young years, how has this affected you? I can make lasting relationships regardless. I find that I can make friends easily, but I don't have a lot of friends. I have a firm belief that too many friends can complicate your life. But I will say that moving around so much has left me feeling like I don't have that history with a close friend, and sometimes I lament it. The only people who have known me since I was young
are my immediate family. But it doesn't affect my ability to form new relationships. The way I see it, any opportunity to be in somebody's life is an opportunity to influence them and to have them influence you positively. So even if the relationship doesn't last a lifetime, there's something that you can pick from that relationship.
Q. What was life like after school? I studied business and tried to work that sector. But I didn't like it which was disappointing because marketing had been my dream from the time I was a little girl. While I was looking for my new niche I started working with development organisations and NGOs. I started with some volunteer work, working with organizations supporting children living with HIV and AIDS. After a year or so I was hired in a permanent position and I stayed with that organisation for a decade, from 2009 to 2019. I went through so many changes during that time. I started when I was young and single, I moved out, I got married and I had kids all while working there. It was quite a journey.
Q. What was your journey to motherhood like? My husband and I got married after 6 years of dating. So we started trying for a baby right away but it just didn’t happen. It was one of those things where you end up losing so much hope and wondering, ‘why me?’ ‘shouldn't these things just happen immediately?’. But it didn't happen. It took a while and we had to talk to our doctor but eventually, when we stopped stressing, it just happened. So now I was pregnant and really excited and curious about what's going on with
me, my body, and my baby. All you ever see on TV is morning sickness which happens in the morning. And that’s what I was expecting but that is not what the reality was for me at all. It was more of an ‘all-day sickness’. And as I continued my research, I found that I wasn’t getting the answers that I needed. I wanted answers that spoke to me as a Zimbabwean woman but there weren't any.
more to come!
Q. What type of resource is Mwanangu Mntanami to prospective mothers?
I would say that the blog is like a parenting and maternity bible of sorts. We look at every aspect of parenting from both the medical and life point of view and we share stories of real people and their experiences. I share a lot of information from different service providers. My main aim is to share as much knowledge as This lack of possible about information is available to I wasn’t getting the answers that I what was especially women & mothers needed. I wanted answers that highlighted in their journeys so after giving that at every spoke to me as a Zimbabwean birth. My mum moment, they are woman but there weren't any. had passed making informed away some decisions. I am also years before and typically in our culture, trying to incorporate content for men your mum is the one that walks you and fathers too. After all, children are through that transition to becoming a made from both. mother. My mother-in-law really I also share my own experiences, stepped up for me during that time but showing the lessons I learnt so that my even she didn’t really have the answers audience doesn't have to start from zero. to all my questions. In the end, I adapted I try and make sure to always speak from the knowledge I’d learned from the a culturally rich point of view. internet and tried to fit it into the Q. On the topic of culture and context that I was existing in. tradition, how would you advise a new This is the fuel that really launched my mum to balance culture and traditions blog, Mwanangu Mntanami. I wanted to whilst still laying her boundaries? create a platform I never had. This is a It's a very difficult balance to achieve baby that has been growing for eight and even accept because some people years and is still evolving with so much
“
22
are set in their ways. But I think opening up those channels of communication can help people see a fresh new perspective. People need to share their stories and talk about these things, which is why I'm talking about them. Even though it may seem disruptive, I feel this has been a long time coming. I know friends who have been through some scary situations that could have been avoided through education.
Q. You speak to a lot of women for your blog, what has been the biggest lesson that you've learnt from them? The biggest lesson for me has been to stop judging other mothers. Judgment is something that we just default to when we don't understand people. And speaking to all these different women and listening to all their stories has taught me compassion as I’ve never known it. It is so easy to judge another mother who is "doing things wrong", or going through postnatal depression, or has a child throwing an epic tantrum in the supermarket. You don’t know what she’s going through, why is your default to judge her capabilities as a mother? Most women are wearing multiple hats, mother, business owner, career woman, wife, daughter, sister, friend, it’s tiring! Why do we impose our own expectations and standards that we ourselves cannot achieve, on other people?
I’ve also learnt to seek help when I need it and to also be the help someone needs. Having a baby is hectic, and sometimes you lose your bearings for a while. It’s ok to seek help but it’s also important to be open to women around you so they know that you are a safe space for them.
Q. When would you say that a woman’s motherhood journey begins? I believe that theoretically, I need to start thinking about my own daughter’s journey to motherhood even though she’s only 9. There are factors like reproductive health and her general wellness and health that all contribute to her motherhood journey long before she even starts to consider what that might mean for her.
Q. Did you always want to be a Mum? I did not aspire to be a mom. It was not something that was on my checklist. That doesn’t mean that I did not want to be a mother. It just wasn’t something that was a milestone or even a goal in my life, and marriage as well. All I was looking for in life was a place where I could belong. If that was going to be with me by myself, feeling safe, fulfilled, and whole by myself, that's all I needed. Children and marriage, although not conscious desires, were there in the back of my mind. But, I wouldn’t say they drove the decisions that I made in life. Funny story, when my husband started indicating signs of wanting to get married I told him to hold that thought for a bit so I could move out of my parent's home. So I moved out, stayed by myself for a couple of months because for me it was important that I know, that I know how to take care of myself without having my dad or my spouse in the picture. You find that some women are held at ransom economically in their relationships and that was a reality I
wrote out of my life. I have spoken at bridal showers before and I always emphasize that as a wife you're not an extension of your husband. You are a complete human being before becoming one with him. You are complete. You have an identity. You have a purpose that is uniquely yours! As women, we are enough. First, there is you and God, then everything else follows.
Q. What informs your role as a mother to your own children? I want my kids to grow up strong, independent, and self-sufficient. I approach my role as a mother from the perspective of how I want my children to be when they grow up. I then assume the role that equips me to become the parent they need me to be. I remember when I was pregnant with my children I would pray for specific attributes within them, and all these prayers spoke to their present and their future. And these prayers are still with me as I parent, discipline, and raise them. I've actually been writing a book that turned into two books. The books are about my journey to becoming a mum and then a parent. The first book is about becoming a mum, and trying to and finally getting pregnant. The second book is about becoming a parent; when my children were born, and learning how to raise and take care of them.
But at the same time, a lot of the things I do are really different; my dad is always asking how I became the parent I am because I wasn’t raised the same way I’m raising my kids. I’ve learned to take the positive aspects of my upbringing while filtering out the negative. Even my drive for success and my children's success comes from my parents and how they always pushed me to have my own things, my own independence, and to find my own power and space in this world. Although those were really tough lessons at that time; I see the vision behind their actions now. Hindsight is always 20/20.
Q. What is your parenting style? My husband and I work backward, in the sense that we know what we want them to be & we find ways to infuse these attributes in them.
Q. Where do you draw your inspiration from in your parenting journey? I draw from my past experiences, and what I saw growing up. It’s so ironic that there are a lot of things that I said I would never do but I find myself defaulting to the way I was raised. There are just certain situations like if my child is sick I just act, and afterward, I’m taken aback by the swiftness of action. I think some of my maternal instincts are just embedded in me. 24
We love abundantly, we reward immensely, and we are also strict when it comes to boundaries. There has to be a balance between positive reinforcement and dealing with bad behaviour. When we set rules, we stick to them, consistently. Children are creatures of routine & order; the moment you break routine you cause confusion.
We are also very consistent about putting forward a united front especially in front of the children - if we disagree, we discuss between the 2 of us. We don’t confict each other’s decisions; we work with each other & trust is a big part of that. When it comes to punishment we find that withdrawing priviledges from the kids is what works best for us. We exlain to them why they are being punished. The aim is to reform them and also realization on their own part that there are consequences for doing wrong. Also, when setting boundaries, don't set a boundary and not explain why it's there. These are tools you are giving your kids for life you must explain how and why these things matter so that they see the importance of the rules for themselves. I've also taught them that mistakes will happen. And I always tell them that even I'm not perfect, I struggle with right and wrong every day but, it's the effort that counts.
Q. What has been the most rewarding part of your motherhood journey, & now as a blogger sharing her experiences & giving voice to others? The most rewarding part of this journey has been testimonials and reviews. Hearing people’s stories gives me so much life because all their stories are so relatable. It’s also a bit sad. You come to realise just how many people have been keeping quiet about their experiences because they felt they couldn’t share. It feels amazing to know that what I am doing is positively impacting people. I love being a part of the reason they feel less alone in their struggles and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I believe we make better decisions when we have knowledge, & being someone who helps empower people is so rewarding for me.
Q. Do you have any tips or words of advice for potential, expecting, and new moms? Learn to listen to yourself. Tap into that intuition. Know yourself; pay attention to what is going on around you. When you do that, you can get into such a perfect rhythm with yourself and your surroundings that everything else just falls into place. I remember when my daughter was still a baby, I got to a point of knowing exactly what she wanted by the sounds she made. When you are intentional about listening, then you can react and respond accordingly. This also applies to spouses and partners; when you listen to your partners you get to learn and understand them, and you grow with them. Parenting is a team job and it just needs a little understanding.
Read more on Janet’s Blog mwanangumntanami.com Mwanangu Mntanami @mwanangumntanami @mwanangumntanami @MMntanami
MASK UP Make sure you’re ready to get back to school! Shop our protective & stylish face masks Available in assorted colours!
+263 784 714 385
Starting Early: Childhood Exercise & Fitness When most adults think about exercise, they imagine working out in the gym, running on a treadmill, or lifting weights. But for kids, exercise means playing & being physically active. Kids exercise when they have gym class at school, during breaktime, at dance class or soccer practice, while riding bikes, or when playing tag. Everyone can benefit from regular exercise. Active kids will have: - stronger muscles and bones leaner bodies - less risk of becoming overweight - Lower chance of getting type 2 diabetes - Lower blood pressure and blood cholesterol levels - A better outlook on life Besides enjoying the health benefits of regular exercise, fit kids sleep better. They're also better able to handle physical and emotional challenges — from running to catch a bus to studying for a test.
Reviewed by: Mary L. Gavin, MD
The Three Elements of Fitness If you've ever watched kids on a playground, you've seen the three elements of fitness in action when they: run away from the kid who's "it" (endurance), cross the monkey bars (strength) and bend down to tie their shoes (flexibility). Endurance develops when kids regularly get aerobic activity. During aerobic exercise, large muscles are moving, the heart beats faster, and a person breathes harder. Aerobic activity strengthens the heart and improves the body's ability to deliver oxygen to all its cells.
The Sedentary Problem Kids and teens are sitting around a lot more than they used to. They spend hours every day in front of a screen (TVs, smartphones, tablets, and other devices) looking at a variety of media (TV shows, videos, movies, games).
Too much screen time and not enough physical activity add to the problem of childhood obesity. One of the best ways to get kids to be more active is to limit the amount of time spent in sedentary activities, especially watching TV or other screens. Aerobic exercise can be fun for both adults and kids. Aerobic activities include: sports, bicycling, skating, swimming, walking, jogging, and running! Improving strength doesn't have to mean lifting weights. Instead, kids can do push-ups, stomach crunches, pull-ups, and other exercises to help tone and strengthen muscles. They also improve their strength when they climb, do a handstand, or wrestle. Stretching exercises help improve flexibility, allowing muscles and joints to bend and move easily through their full range of motion. Kids get chances every day to stretch when they reach for a toy, practice a split, or do a cartwheel.
28
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that parents: 1. Put limits on the time spent using the TV, social media, &video games. 2. Media should not take the place of getting enough sleep and being active. 3. Limit screen time to 1 hour a day or less for children 2 to 5 years old. 4. Discourage any screen time, except video-chatting, for kids younger than 18 months. 5. Choose high-quality programming & watch it with your kids to help them understand. 6. Keep TVs, computers & video games out of children's bedrooms. 7. Turn off screens during mealtimes.
How Much Exercise Is Enough? Parents should make sure that their kids get enough exercise. So, how much is enough? Kids and teens should get 60 minutes or more of moderate to vigorous physical activity daily.
like taking the stairs instead of the elevator. ~ Embrace a healthier lifestyle yourself, so you'll be a positive role model for your family. ~ Be active together as a family. ~ Keep it fun, so your kids will come back for more.
Toddlers and preschool children should play actively several times a day. Toddlers should get at least 60 minutes active play every day and preschoolers should have at least 120 minutes active play every day. This time should include planned, adult-led physical activity and unstructured active free play. Young children should not be inactive for long periods of time — no more than 1 hour unless they're sleeping. And school-age children should not be inactive for periods longer than 2 hours.
Raising Fit Kids Combining regular physical activity with a healthy diet is the key to a healthy lifestyle. Here are some tips for raising fit kids: ~ Help your kids do in a variety of age-appropriate activities. ~ Set a regular schedule for physical activity. ~ Make being active a part of daily life,
Information provided by KidsHealth.org from Nemours Children’s Health. © 1995-2021. The Nemours Foundation/KidsHealth®. Reprinted following guidelines.
Waka’s Wacky World
30
Wakatendeka Bwanya is a young girl with big dreams and the ambition and confidence to see them through. At 8, she is one of Zimbabwe's youngest published authors and is already planning to release a second book! Waka is currently in grade 3 at Chisipite Junior School in Harare. Among her favourite things to do, is playing basketball with her dad, swimming, and she's nuts about cheese!
Q. Waka, how does it feel to be an author at such a young age? Waka: It feels great, honestly. But it's also very hard work but I enjoy it! I even get to sign books. Q. You must be enjoying your celebrity status! Waka: When I first found out that my book was gonna be published, I couldn't sleep that night, honestly. I was so excited! Q. What inspired you to write your book? Waka: It was mostly my mum's idea and it started off as an essay. I was just talking about all the places that I've been, like Victoria Falls, Nyanga, and lots of other amazing places. That's where most of my inspiration came from.
Q. What would you say is the biggest lesson that you've learned from this experience? I actually learned a lot from writing my book; I even learned some things that I didn't know about, like the Nyami-Nyami Snake. I've also learned to believe in myself; I can do anything I want! And I also want to go to many more places just like the ones I mentioned in my book. Q. How much money have you made so far? I've made $191 so far.
Q. Wow! And what are you gonna do with all the money? I'll probably save up to go to MIT because I really want to go to MIT. Sharon (Mum): It's been MIT for years, that's the only school she wants to go to. So her Dad and I told her she better get there on a scholarship but I'm Q. Who supported proud to see that she's you as you were even trying to save “I've learned to believe in writing the book? money for it now! myself; I can do anything I Waka: It was Waka and her dad want!” mostly my mum, have a bet that if she but my dad helped makes it to MIT by 18 then he is gonna eat too. And my auntie also. There were a lot chicken because he doesn't like it. of other people who helped me throughout the process. Like Ben, he was Waka: And I have to eat green beans. our photographer and he also designed Q. What do you want to be when you grow the cover of my book. He's going to be so up? happy that I mentioned him but it's true! I got a lot of help and I'm super grateful. 32
Waka: I want to have loads of money! [laughs] But seriously, I obviously want to continue writing more books. I enjoy it! I also want to be an optometrist and a ballerina! I also want to be an astrophysicist!
well as life with my very strict parents. They're not strict all the time though; they're quite cool because they take me on all my adventures! Q. Give us a sneak peek! What is one cool fact about you that people don't know? I started reading when I was 3! Q. Wow! You've been reading for a while now, you must love it! What's your favorite book? Waka: It's obviously the Harry Potter series. Another is this book that my mum brought me from England when she went for business, and it was actually about me. It was about adventures and on each adventure, there were lots of mythical creatures. My mum also got me another book where I had to "Search for Waka". It was like 'Find Waldo' but with me in it! And each page I would have to find a different Waka; Chef Waka, tennis player Waka and stuff like that. I really liked that one! Sharon: The books she is talking about are
Q. Wow! Why an astrophysicist? Waka: I want to get into NASA so that I can explore Mars and lots of other places in the universe! Sharon: Waka is like a walking encyclopedia about planets, the solar system, and other systems that are not the solar system that I don't know about like dwarf planets and all that. I'm learning a lot through her! Q. And what is your next big project? Waka: I'm actually working on my second book, 'All About Me'. It's gonna be a book full of facts you didn't know about me. As
by Wonderbly. They are pre-written, so, as the parent you select the characteristics your kid has, and the qualities you want to encourage in them and they will weave that into the story of your choice! With a personalised cover with your little one's name on it. So the book that we picked for Waka was an adventure one. And the characteristics we chose were brave, determined, and kind. We also got to pick an avatar that looked like her. This is one of my favorite gifts to give to kids for Christmas because they can read about themselves but we don't have to write the book.
cause I can hold my breath for very long. Q. Where can we buy your book? My parents are working on getting it on Amazon but you can also get it from Rafael's Bookstore in Arundel, as well as all TUDiki stores! Q. What advice would you give to other kids like you who dream about writing books? Waka: I'd say don't stop, be determined & make lots of money! I encourage you to read a lot because it will actually help with your spelling and creativity. And also remember to check out my YouTube channel. It's my name, Wakatendeka Bwanya. Q. What's your YouTube channel about? Waka: Well, I talk about all sorts of things, I do food reviews, book reviews and in my last video, I was sewing a dress for my doll. Sharon: So Waka doesn't know yet, but a month ago YouTube & Google introduced this parental control system which we signed up for but after that, they ended up deleting our channel. But we're rebuilding it. We've already reuploaded her videos but she lost a lot of her views. So we welcome all support!
Q. Waka, you wrote an entire book about Zimbabwe. You must really have a special place in your heart for the country. Where would you say is your most favorite place in Zimbabwe? My most favourite place is Nyanga. I love going to Troutbeck and all the sightseeing we do while we're there. I also love the cold weather and swimming in the river. Which is always lots of fun 34
Q. If you could meet one famous person, who would it be? Waka: This is a very easy question. I would want to meet Lin-Manuel Miranda. I love Hamilton so much. I am a Hamilton fanatic! My mum actually watched one of the Hamilton shows when she was in England and she brought me a book from the show! I know all the songs and when I'm playing Minecraft, I always have a separate tab playing all 44 of the
Hamilton songs. And I'll just be jamming out while I'm playing Minecraft. Q. And what is one burning question you have for him? I would ask how much work was it making Hamilton and, Honestly, I think he is gonna say very hard work. Q. From our time together we already see that Waka is a ball of energy and sunshine and she's bursting with life! What three adjectives would you use to describe her? Sharon: Firstly, she's a clown. She always has us cracking up with the strangest jokes – I don't know how her mind comes up with some of them! She's really witty and she is a determined girl. I think she's gonna be one of those women that the world might want to label as stubborn but she's very strong-willed. I suppose she is stubborn in many ways and I see myself in her. It's like raising myself personality-wise, so there's a lot of pride and exasperation. But, there are only two things Waka gets in trouble for: lying and laziness. Those are the two intolerables. Everything else we can try
and reason. Waka is very determined and also very, very kind and generous. Q. And what is it like raising such an ambitious child? I mean, you've already said it's like raising yourself, but what are some things that you keep in mind as you're raising her to nurture that growth and to keep watering it? Sharon: There are layers to my approach to parenting. First of all, being a mum, it's a full-time job, and I get a lot of help. We were very intentional about giving Waka a wide and broad view of the world and her possibilities. Since she was young she's been exposed to pretty much everything so that we can pinpoint where her interests, passion, and talent lie. This has resulted in a very busy diary for Waka. For sport, she does tennis, basketball, swimming, golf and she also dances. She also plays chess and she's into coding because she wants to be a hacker. She's in a science club where they make fun stuff like solar-powered cars and Hydro bridges and all of that. I won't lie, it is quite expensive, but she's our only one, so she has the benefit of all our resources. So far we've found that her mind is more scientific, she just picks that more easily which is heartbreaking for me as a lawyer that she's more like her dad, the engineer. But I'm so glad that she loves reading and writing as well. Q. And how do you help her keep her dreams alive, not letting the world make them smaller? Sharon: Waka is so strong-willed and as women,
done. For me, manners, discipline, respect are things that I do not compromise on. But I will always grow and nurture her curiosity and tendency to question norms because I want her to grow up knowing it's OK to question everything. I find that, as girls become women, we become damaged and just accept things and circumstances unquestioningly because we couldn't question and our questions were shut down. So I'm very deliberate about it with my daughter. As long as she asks politely and respectfully, we will engage and we never get tired. We love to deal with all the 'why' questions
we need strength to make it in this world. As long as she's asking respectfully, it is welcomed in this house. Recently she successfully negotiated a shower-free day! Her argument was that this is an arbitrary 24-hour cycle that has no correlation to her levels of dirt. She argued that if she didn't sweat or even leave the house then why does she have to shower? Her justification was pretty solid and it earned her one skip day provided she is clean. So you can see we're dealing with. I love that inquisitive spirit in her and I want to keep her alive that's why I concede on things like showering. But as much as I am liberal, I do think that I am a strict parent. When I issue instructions, I speak once, the response is “yes ma’am”, & it's 36
Q. You say that she takes after her dad, but that questioning and inquisitive nature is very lawyer-like. Even just watching the dynamic between the two of you, you can tell she is very much your daughter and she leans and relies on you a lot. What's that pressure like? Sharon: What I quickly realized while raising Waka is that kids do more of what we do and less of what we say, so our approach is to model the type of person we want her to be. I've learnt that I have to be mindful of who I am. I've got to be more authentic and consistent because I don't want to send the wrong signals to her. In our home, the truth is the number one principle; and that's how we've raised her. So I can't tell lies even white lies - I've got to be consistent in living out the values that we're trying to build in her, so yeah it is a lot of work and pressure but even I'm becoming a better person out of it.
Q. And what is it like raising a child with huge ambitions you are helping her realise whilst working and travelling? Sharon: I want Waka to value hard work and I want to demonstrate that hard work pays off and nothing should stop her from pursuing her ambitions. I'm a working mom whose job sometimes takes her away from her family for months and I'm proving to my daughter that you don't have to give up your ambition to be a Mother. And that working doesn't mean I love my family less. Ever since she was young Waka has never cried when I go away for work. Waka: That's because you always told me parents come back. Sharon: Yeah, So all she needed was an explanation the night before. "Waka, I'm going here for so long and I'll be back" and that's it. She accepts and understands it with no insecurities or fears about it. I want her to grow up knowing that having a family is not limiting. She doesn't have to sacrifice her ambitions and dreams on the altar of motherhood. She can have both if she wants – it's all up to her! And I honestly cannot stress how important it is to have a solid support system. I couldn't do what I do without them! I have an amazing co-parent, her dad who is always by my side. And then her super nanny and all these gogos and aunties who are always willing to help out! I'm one of those mums who have to be at every sports event cheering their head off; so when I'm not around my friends will fill in for me, and make time to go support Waka. Five of them will show up and cheer for her in my stead. So I'm secure in the knowledge that even though she does lean and rely on me, I'm not the only person that's there.
We absolutely enjoyed speaking with Waka and her mum Sharon, who has been cheering Waka on this exciting new journey! And as brilliant as she is; Waka is still a kid at heart who doesn't like too much homework, spiders, and crocodiles. With her dry wit and unique sense of humour, it was hard to keep the smiles off our faces! Keep up with with Waka through her YouTube channel!
Wakatendeka Bwanya
My Teapot Country Available at:
Borrowdale & Westgate Raphael's Gift Shop - Arundel The Book Shop - Balantyne Park
Natural
Post-partum Care By Dr Nyarai Paweni
Dr. Nyarai is a naturopathic physician at Sage Restorative Health. She is passionate about wellness that empowers people with vibrant body-mind-spirit health. She is the VP of Natural Therapist Council of Zimbabwe (NTCZ). She sits on the board of the Zimbabwe Association of Natural Health Practitioners (ZANPH) And is a member of the Illinois Association of Naturopathic Physicians.
Giving birth is a powerful and intensely transformative process. Your body goes through massive changes that necessitate a postpartum healing process. These changes are both physical and emotional. Like your pregnancy, your healing process also has a lot of layers to it. Along with having a problem-free pregnancy, you want to ensure that your transition from birthing to your new role as a mother is smooth and easy. Your health after giving birth is just as important as preparing for pregnancy and birth. While you can, think through how you will navigate motherhood as well as your health and healing after the birth. The most common postpartum 38
concerns include reduced milk production, perineal soreness, after-birth pains, and postpartum mood changes.
Perineum Soreness
After giving birth, vaginal pain and pain in the vulva and perineum is very common. Often, walking & urinating can sting and cause discomfort. Remedy - Try urinating in a sitz bath for those first few days. - You can apply some essential oils like lavender. in a carrier oil like coconut or olive because essential oils can burn when applied directly on the skin. - Healing herbs for perineum care
include lavender, calendula, rose, sage, yarrow, and Himalayan salt in a spritzer, bath, or sitz bath. A sitz bath is a warm, shallow bath that cleanses the perineum, offering relief from pain and itching in the genital area.
1. Eating nutrient-dense foods A healthy diet including fresh fruit, vegetables, and protein. 2. Exercise A gentle walk in fresh air can help boost your mood. After Birth Pains 3. Get enough sleep. As a new parent, try to sync your sleep After giving birth, the uterus contracts schedule with your baby's so you get as about 1cm per day to shrink back to its much rest as possible. pre-pregnant size. As a result, this may cause some discomfort and can be worse 4. Don't be shy to ask for help with for women after subsequent everything you need: housework, pregnancies. You may feel more intense cleaning, and meal preparation. discomfort breastfeeding because 5. Join supportive mother’s groups to get oxytocin is released which encourages social support and to network the uterus to contract. 6. Find time to do things you like Using a heat pack or hot water bottle Whether its reading a book, taking a may help reduce the discomfort. bath, or watching a movie Homeopathic arnica or Magnesium 7. Spend time with your partner to phosphorus are also great choices. It may nurture and strengthen your relationship be very soothing to have warm oils 8. Explore meditation & deep breathing massaged into your belly and use essential oils like chamomile, lavender, or to support emotional/mental well-being ginger. 9. Be vulnerable & open Share your feelings instead of bottling Postpartum moods things up You may experience a rollercoaster of 10. Research emotions during and following the birth Gather information about help with of your baby. In fact, 80% of new Postnatal Depression mothers experience the "baby blues", 11. Supplements signs of which include irritability, moodiness, being teary, and being overly B complex vitamins, calcium, magnesium, and fish oil help support sensitive in interactions with others. your overall health Typically, these baby blues usually clear 12. Take things one step and day at a up within a week with no other time. treatment except support and understanding. If you find the baby blues Contact Dr. Nyarai Paweni at linger past a couple of weeks, you may be Sage Restorative Health: experiencing postpartum depression. Should this happen, it's best for you to www.sagehw.com seek professional help and support. Here are some additional natural therapies that are great in encouraging postpartum mental wellness.
@sagerhealth @sagerhealth @drnyarai
Breastfeeding Fact Sheet
Written in collaboration with Katinka Musavaya
There are countless benefits to breastfeeding your child but even mum benefits from breastfeeding! Breast milk is the best start that you can give your child in life - it contains everything they may need with little to no effort on your part! This article outlines all the benefits of breastfeeding for both mum and baby as well as what to expect when you start to breastfeed!
Baby’s Benefits
We have all heard about the benefits the baby gains from breast milk and even then we are still learning. One thing that is undeniable is that breastmilk is the best food you can give your baby! We know that: • It is best for brain and body development. • Reduces the chance of allergies, eczema and asthma. • Provides antibodies from mother and is highly protective against numerous diseases, including COVID! Breastmilk gives you the peace of mind that your baby is getting everything they require, nutrition-wise.
40
n
Mother’s Benefits 1. Zero Cost Breastmilk is the greatest equalizer in society. Whether you earn $1000 or you earn $1.00, there’s only one thing that's going to give your baby the best start in life is breastmilk. And it doesn't cost anything! “A year of formula in Zimbabwe will cost between $500 and $1,000 U.S. dollars and that’s a cost a lot of mothers are not going to afford.” 2. Breastfeeding helps with after-birth healing This applies to both physical and mental healing. It has been proven that women bleed less when they are breastfeeding. And breastfeeding is one of the best ways to bond with your baby. The action itself is very therapeutic to mothers. And also reduces postnatal depression.
3. Lactational Amenorrhea This occurs after giving birth. If you are breastfeeding you will not menstruate! This is a natural family planning method that can last from 6 months to 2 years 4. Breastfeeding helps pevent cancers Risk of developping ovarian, uterine and breast cancers is reduced the longer you choose to breastfeed.
Key Takeaways 1. Breastfeeding should not be painful. 2. There is a difference between Common and Normal. Just because a lot of people go through something does not mean it should happen. For example, nipple pain and cracked nipples are common but not normal
3. Nipple pain is usually caused by an issue in latching. If the latch is not right, your nipple starts rubbing on the roof of your baby's mouth. The nipple must be placed farther in the baby’s mouth so it is not rubbing against the roof of the mouth.
4. Low milk intake and nipple pain go hand in hand. Look at pain as a signal from your body that something is not right with your baby’s latch, so move your baby around and try again. until you're feeling comfortable.
5. Feed the baby on demand & make sure baby is swallowing. Watch the throat for swallowing CSand listen for gulps.
Letters from
Aunt Jane
Dear Mum & Dad Jane Jambaya is the emotional intelligence officer! She is a registered social worker with a passion for people and helping them to realize their full potential.
embracing the beauty that comes with understanding and embracing our emotions. How easy is it She is also a business for you to owner, and a mother to express your an amazing 3 year old. emotions? I write this letter with the hope that as How many parents we can get to a point in which times have we realise that emotions are part and been asked how you are and you just say parcel of our daily lives. This letter is 'I'm fine' yet deep down you aren't ok? How being sent to the hearts and minds of many times do you urge your daughter or parents with the hope to ignite the son to stop being a "sissy" yet all they want courage to talk about sadness, anger, is a safe place to express their feelings? joy, love, frustration, confusion, and Sometimes it is very difficult for us as hatever feelings and thoughts come to individuals to express openly how we feel. mind be it within ourselves as parents And why is that so? We are constantly and gradually with our bundles of joy. reminded to be strong and that everything This letter serves to motivate parents in happens for a reason. It's time we learn reparenting themselves whilst also that strength doesn't mean repress taking up conscious parenting by I am writing this open letter to you so that we get to talk about emotions. I am pretty sure that we have heard someone if not ourselves talking about emotions or about being emotional. I bet we have heard people countless times saying that they are emotional or how they could not control their emotions or how emotions got the better of them but, what are emotions?
42
ing our feelings. When we learn to express ourselves we become better people; full of hope and carrying genuine empathy. I know that there isn't a manual to parenting. The role comes with no basic instructions but it does become easier when parents realise that children cannot be what they cannot see. Remember, children are perfect mirrors. When you are struggling with being positive and cheerful your children may also become moody and argumentative.
emotions that they intend to express. Although it's important not to spare the rod, parenting should not be about spanking a child. The best you can do for your children would be to help them deal with the emotions that they feel. Invalidating their feelings or ignoring them can make them feel unimportant. This letter strives to help you not to do that. Allow them to cry if they need to.
I would like you, mum and dad, to reflect back to when you were perhaps six years old. How was it when you felt hurt or frustrated, angry, helpless or, even confused? Did you have an adult present to comfort you and ask, "how are you?" or " tell me all about it"? There probably wasn't right? You probably got a beating for even trying to say you are helpless or confused or scared. It was most probably taboo, wasn't it? Really ask yourself, how the adults around you responded to your worries? Let me guess? Most probably they tried to fix things or they brushed it all off, yet all you needed at that moment was to be able to feel everything you were feeling.
Strive to understand the reasons for the It has been proved that increased rates of crying. Do not rush to hit your children stress and anxiety in when and if they adults emanate from “Increased rates of stress and make mistakes. the emotions they And most anxiety in adults emanate from importantly, listen held inside during their childhood. A the emotions they held inside to what they are stressed adult was during their childhood. A stressed going through. once a stressed child. Mum and Dad, it is adult was once a stressed child.” time for us to start Knowing this, Mum and Dad, it would be learning emotional lovely for you to literacy within our cultures. This is a tool realize that it is okay to allow children to that will make us compassionate and talk to you about anything. Never sideline empathetic parents. You might feel this is their feelings under the fear that they are a far-fetched, or easy-going approach to seeking attention but rather listen to the parenting. You probably think that there
is no way you could empathize with your sometimes violence in children. bundle of joy. Maybe this seems Mastering emotional literacy does not unnecessary to you but truthfully mean your children will be happy always. speaking, once we get to master It is impossible to keep people happy emotional literacy, we achieve mental and because life happens, but with emotional emotional well-being. literacy, you are guaranteed that your I want you to pause and ponder? How children will thrive through their well are you paying attention to the emotions. This is a tool that can emotions of your children? Do you make guarantee harmony within our homes. time to listen to your children express As a parent, you cannot and should not themselves? Mum and Dad, if you desire fix your children's problems. Also, to have genuine and deep connections remember that you cannot always keep with your children you need to allow them happy. What you can do is create a them to share their emotions with you. safe space for them to express their Children are not normally naughty or feelings. Just listen to them and help troublesome intentionally; they are acting them offload those emotions. It may seem in response to their environment. Most so simple but trust me it's magical when children labelled as attention seekers or parents take on compassionate listening. little rascals have suppressed emotions “Supporting the emotional they have not dealt with. The power is within you, Mum and Dad to unleash that well-being of your children emotion. You have the power to allow your child to express their all: the happy, means using phrases like "Tell me about it" rather than " You are the sad, the joyous, all of it! When negative emotions are suppressed they being a cry baby". result in anxiety, depression, and It’s unfortunate that expressing our feelings is seen as a weakness in most societies but as one social worker said, "If we prioritize understanding the world within us then showing the world around us will make more sense." I hope this letter makes you, Mum and Dad, realise the need for emotional literacy. Read it again and again, research, and start to practice these tools in your homes. My next letter will be about Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent Parent raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child. Yours with love,
Aunt Jane (MissSocialWorker) 44
Baby Hug Meal Kit Quick, convenient & functional. The Ultimate accessory to the Baby Hug 4-in-1 is finally here! One of the most functional parts of the Baby Hug is its ability to become a highchair when pushed up against tables. Now you no longer need a table to let baby have a meal in their Baby Hug – just clip on the easy-to-clean high chair attachment tray.
Available in all TUDiki stores! Westgate
Westgate Shopping Center 1 Fountain Court
Borrowdale
Village Walk Shopping Centre Cnr Borrowdale Rd & Green Cl
Call or Whatsapp
+263 784 714 385
Back To School Kitchen Special Keep the Lunchbox Balanced Carbs
This is an easy addition to any lunchbox. You can do so much with carbs, from sandwiches to pasta salads!
Dairy
You can use cheese and butter on the sandwiches. Or pack flavoured milk and yoghurts!
Fats & Oils 46
Fruits & Veggies
Add a slice of tomato or some lettuce to a sandwich. And fruit is always a great addition, its sweet but healthy!
Protein
There are plenty of meat options you can use in the lunchbox. Try to stay away from processed meats. Instead of Mayo use Avocado, this is a great source of healthy fats. And nuts are another great snack.
These past 2 years have been a roller coaster! That’s why we want to make your transition to “school-mode” as easy as possible. These are simple tips and tricks you can use to keep lunches fun, delicious, and healthy! And the best part is, you can use them during school holidays too!
Make Sandwiches Fun Again! Try different fillings Mix it up by adding different veggies like sliced cucumber, grated carrots & lettuce! Try different Breads You don’t have to use bread everyday! Try rolls or wraps to keep things fun & different! Avoid wet items Try to keep your sandwich as dry as possible. The wetter it is, the soggier it becomes! Simple is also good Sometimes a simple cheese sandwich is perfectly fine. The goal is to have something different to eat everyday. Try fun shapes! Use cookie cutters to cut your sandwiches.
Zimbabwe Quiz How well do you know Zimbabwe? Take the Quiz to find out! (Answers on PAGE 51)
Across 3. What mythical creature lives in the Kariba Dam? 7. What is Zimbabwe's Capital City? 8. What is the name of the largest man-made lake, that is located in Zimbabwe 9. What is the river that separates South Africa and Zimbabwe? 11. What is the name of the Zimbabwe bird? 13. What is Zimbabwe's National Flower? 14. How many official languages does Zimbabwe have? 48
Down 1. National Park that starts with H 2. What is the name of the river that separates Zimbabwe and Zambia? 4. What is the highest mountain in Zimbabwe? 5. What city are the Zimbabwe Ruins located in? 6. Name of the World's Largest Waterfall located in Zimbabwe 10. Complete the phrase "the smoke that _______." 12. What does the colour white represent in our flag?
STARS
Tirivashe Muhwati BIRTHDAY: 16 AUGUST
Daniel Bokolo BIRTHDAY: 16 AUGUST
BIRTHDAYS Help us celebrate you! Send us a message with your picture, your name, your birthday and your age! And tell us what you want to be when you grow up! Each month we will be celebrating the birthdays of all the people in that month so make sure to send us your details!
+263 784 714 385
Zimbabwe Quiz
ANSWERS
Across
3. NYAMINYAMI 7. HARARE 8. KARIBA 9. LIMPOPO 11. FISH EAGLE 13. FLAME LILY 14. SIXTEEN
Down 1. 2. 4. 5. 6. 10. 12.
HWANGE ZAMBEZI NYANGANI MASVINGO VICTORIA FALLS THUNDERS PEACE
999
ALL EMERGENCIES ECONET TOLL FREE NETONE TOLL FREE LANDLINE TOLL FREE
112 114 0800 3222 911
POLICE
995
AMBULANCE
994
FIRE BRIGADE
993
ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE
0 (242) 776 760
COUNSELLING & CHILD PROTECTION SERVICES TEEN COUNSELLING
112
CHILDLINE
116
