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INTERIOR: Stew Cues
Changing our perception is the key to happiness It’s that time of year again. Time to assess the past year, decide what sort of accomplishments we’ve made, and plan what we would like to do differently in the future. Life goals and choices have a great impact on our sense of fulfillment. But with all of the goals we set, plans we make, and programs we sign up for, there is one constant. We are Stew Cues always looking for Alene Keenan the same elusive thing: happiness. Happiness is a vague, extremely subjective concept. Your idea of radiant joy may not even register as a good mood for someone else. The funny thing is that most of us don’t actually know what makes us happy or what we want out of life. Instead, we know what we don’t want, and we measure our happiness based on that. Instead of thinking about the negatives, let’s focus this year on the positives. What do we want more of? Money, love and career usually top the list. Many people believe that if they had more money they would be happier. There is some truth to this, because money is necessary to provide any type of lifestyle. However, research shows that there is not as much correlation between cash and contentment as you might think. Once the basic needs for safety and security are met, there is not much emotional benefit to having more money. Certainly, you could have more things to take up space in your life (and your cabin), but what do you really have? Just more stuff. Another popular happiness concept is the “grass is greener on the other side” concept. One of the basic facts of yachting life is that we will get together with other yachties, we will have cocktails, and we will talk about all the negative aspects of our jobs/ relationships/lives. And then voila, an opportunity presents itself that seems to be the solution to all of our problems, and we take it. This is a bad habit. Inevitably, after the initial rush of happiness, we adapt to the environment and soon take our new circumstances for granted. We notice that what seemed like a good idea six months ago has begun to look an awful lot like the circumstances we just left. Before too long, the old feelings and discontents are back. The emotional
high usually fades within a year. To add insult to injury, the person who replaced us in our old job is as happy as a lark. Why is it that what made us miserable makes them happy? Could it be the underlying negatives we carry with us causes the same negative situation over and over again? It becomes painfully obvious to most of us at some point that the problems we don’t solve come with us to the next situation. Changing our perception is the key to happiness. Instead of focusing on what we are trying to get away from, let’s focus on what we want to create more of in our lives. With the exception of emotional or physical abuse, we all have the power to make our lives not only tolerable, but enjoyable. Research shows that 50 percent of our sense of well-being is biologically driven and 10 percent is related to our life circumstances. The other 40 percent is up to us. There are several ways to tip the scales in our favor. One way is to repeat behaviors that have made us happy in the past. This is where your hobbies come into play. If going for a run makes you happy, then do more of that. If watching a movie or reading a book makes you happy, then reward yourself and do that more often. Take charge of your thoughts and your feelings. At the end of the day, remember that it’s not what you have, it’s who you are that creates happiness. The grass is not always greener on the other side. Sometimes, you just need to put some fresh flowers in your window. It’s the feelings that you are trying to access that will bring you happiness. Happiness is a foundation of energy and productivity. Work at repeating behaviors that have served you well in the past. Create energy, excitement and experiences that put you into the flow, and remember that what you do serves a larger purpose. Set goals and make choices that will really help you create your ideal future. Doing good makes you feel good. Each and every day remember to express gratitude for all of the opportunities and blessings that you have in your life. Vow to accomplish great things and make this a happier new year. Alene Keenan has been a megayacht stewardess for 19 years. She offers interior crew training and crew placement through Nautic Crew International as well as the workshops, seminars, and onboard training offered through her company, Stewardess Solutions (www.stewardesssolutions. com). Comments on this column are welcome at editorial@the-triton.com.
February 2011
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