The Triton
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FROM THE FRONT: Manager’s Time
You deserve compassion – be sure to give it to yourself MANAGER, from page C1
fulfilling. 5. Don’t should on yourself. Shoulds compassionate, supportive and are expectations that we usually nurturing with the loved one than with fall short of because they tend to be themselves, and that’s a shame. You what matters more to other people, deserve the same level of compassion perhaps people from the past such as you give your loved ones. as our parents whose dictums we’ve So here’s the tool: Talk to yourself in internalized. This can lead to enormous a calming, compassionate manner. You stress on all parties concerned. deserve such treatment. For example, A should that you want to do is a replace your critical self-talk of “Get want. Do it because you want to do it. your act together Smith” with “It’s OK Take a second look at any should Johnny, just relax.” you don’t want to do. Discover if you And please do address yourself really do want to (perhaps considering fondly. Use your nickname instead a broader context) or eliminate it. of your last name (as a drill sergeant Test them this way: might). Should you go to the dentist for a 3. Talk yourself out of unreasonable root canal? Perhaps the experience expectations and fearful thoughts. itself is unpleasant. But visualize the Use the same fourconsequences of not step technique we Separate yourself doing it. If you really outlined for self-talk. from the optional get in touch with the How reasonable, long-term benefit of relationships in your realistic or likely are the procedure, you life (e.g., friends, the events you’re probably will want projecting? If they’re acquaintances and to keep that dental not reasonable, tell groups) that suck away appointment. yourself to stop, This is not just your positive energy, and reframe your semantics. Such expectations to words have emotional self-confidence and more likely (and less impact. A should acts self-worth. alarming) ones. as a whip. You drag If you really do yourself to fulfill it. A think your expectations are reasonable want, on the other hand, is motivating (but undesirable), try to come to terms and energizing. with them. Even people facing certain Re-creating your attitude to be death often have been able to become more positive is possible. It just takes accepting and serene. awareness and effort. If you haven’t 4. Surround yourself with positive gotten what you want in your life or people. It is difficult to remain positive career, consider for a moment that you while those around you are nay-sayers have the power to change it. and critics. Separate yourself from A positive attitude, which creates the optional relationships in your the kind of positive behavior others life (e.g., friends, acquaintances and want to be around, is a great first step. groups) that suck away your positive energy, self-confidence and self-worth. Don Grimme is co-founder of GHR And start reaching out to those who Training Solutions in Coral Springs, give you what you need – the positive Fla. He specializes in helping managers strokes and shared values. reduce turnover and attract excellent You may even want to consider job candidates. Contact him at separating from employment and dgrimme@comcast.net. familial relationships that are not
June 2007
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