Okay Jillian Ivy The Unseen Thing Before Our Very Eyes

Okay

Jillian Ivy

He wanted to get over it. He really did. Well, he did but he didn’t. It was just an easier prospect To think about–the sensation Of living and feeling And believing that it Happened for a reason–Then his pain and disappointment was. He wanted to play into the Feelings of complacency, to be Content with thinking it was okay. But it wasn’t okay And it never will be. The deep seated despondency Of this realization burrowed in his bones For the third time that day And he made an effort this time, not to Shrug it off, but to revel in it. To just let himself feel. He thought that Giving into this emotion would Curb his desperate desire to move on. It didn't. But it did spur the thought that, Maybe it was okay that it wasn't okay. Maybe it was just Fate. Whatever it was, He really wished that it hadn't happened The way it had. He wished that he had done better. He wished that it and them, And where and when Could all be rearranged, thrown out, rearranged, thrown out

Until there was nothing left but unnerving perfection. Not a trace of malice. He wished for his sun to shine again. He wished for his hunger to be sated. He wished for his beautiful light, That shone oh so bright whenever it Laughed or smiled, or felt joy, To breathe again. To say hello. But maybe it’s better for him that wishes Don't come true. Because if they did, He’d be a ghost. The abuse he endured wasn't okay. Murdering them wasn’t okay. But he was. And that's all that ever mattered anyway.