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College Tribune ucd.ie/tribune
The Difference is We’re Independent
Issue 3 | Volume 22 | 14th October 2008
BOOZY REPS RUN RIOT
■ Thousands of euro worth of damage caused ■ Company vows students “never coming back” ■ All other self-catering outlets alerted Students’ Union “class rep training” descended into all-out chaos with the union being slapped for damage costs and a ban from returning. Over 200 class representatives travelled to Wexford to stay in holiday homes located in the Forest Park tourist spot in the county. According to the representative of Forest Park Self-Catering Brenda Kavanagh, “substantial damage was done to property to the tune of a couple of thousand euro”. Kavanagh was unable for insurance reasons to elaborate but she claimed that a report has been ﬁled with the Gardai. She added that the Students’ Union’s deposit will not be returned as a result of the costs incurred due to damage sustained. Photographs were taken of the destruction, but Kavanagh declined
■ Karina Bracken to release the pictures saying that they would only be given to members of the Students’ Union if they wanted to challenge Forest Park’s refusal to return their deposit. Kavanagh continued, “In future, anyone from UCD will not be accepted again. In fact, we have notiﬁed other Self-Catering companies throughout Ireland and have warned them not to accept the students. We have catered for the Students’ Union ﬁve times in the past and this is the third time that they have caused trouble.” She could not conﬁrm or deny reports that students had urinated on beds and electrical appliances. When Aodhán Ó Deá, SU President, was confronted over allegations that thousands of euro of substantial damage had been
caused by students, he denied any knowledge of Kavanagh’s claims: “That’s pretty shocking. I didn’t know that”. He was unaware that the SU’s deposit would not be refunded and that the union had been banned returning in the future. According to Ó Deá, “There is a need for the Students’ Union and its class reps to have a good working relationship with these companies. We want to return to these places in future.” The president failed to comment on the fact that the company involved has vowed never to accept anyone from UCD again. Some of the class reps who took the trip down to Wexford recounted the events of the junket on their personal public Bebo pages.
» Continued on page four
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
■ UCD: Has made an upward climb in the university league tables
UCD makes leap in league tables Belﬁeld moves up to 108th in latest world list University College Dublin has ranked as up the rankings as such. But you have to the 108th best university in the world, accept that the rankings are what other according to a report published last people are looking at, and so you can’t ignore them”. Thursday. Ivy League universities dominated The Times Higher Education Supplement (THES) accounted universities the rankings once again in 2008, with peer review score, citation levels and Harvard and Yale universities leading further ratings from employers, staff and the way. Cambridge and Oxford were students to compile the worldís top 200 third and fourth respectively. Commenting on the college’s new universities. UCD moved up 69 places in the latest league table from its 2007 position on the tables, President Hugh Brady has said, “It is an encouraging score of joint 177th. However, UCD failed to top Trinity support of those universities committed College Dublin, who also moved up the to major programmes of reform. The improved methodology, with the increased rankings to 49th position. “It’s a reﬂection of the education weighting given to high-quality peer-requality and the research element” a viewed publications, maps out the only spokesperson for the college said. “And way to go for Irish higher education if it the scores are much closer than the is to continue its upward trajectory.” ranks, there is less than onepoint score to move us into THES Rankings 2008 the top 100.” Rank University Score UCD scored heavily in 100 eyes of its employees and » 1. Harvard University, US international staff. However, 99.8 citation scores were problem- » 2. Yale University, US atic, with the college receiv» 3. University of Cambridge, UK 99.5 ing only 33 points compared with the leading universities » 4. University of Oxford, UK 98.9 at 100. The UCD spokesperson » 5. California IT, US 98.6 stated that while rankings matter, they do not inﬂuence » 6. Imperial College London, UK 98.4 internal policy. “We are not 78.2 driven by rankings. UCD ac- » 49. Trinity College Dublin , IE cepts that they are there, but we don’t do things to move » 108. University College Dublin, IE 68.0
College Tribune LG 18, Newman Building (Arts Block) or Box 74, Student Centre, UCD Email: email@example.com Tel: 01 716 8501 Editors Regulars Editor Features Editor Sports Editor Arts Editor Music Editor Health & Fashion Editor Chief News Writer
Jennifer Bray Simon Ward Cian Taaffe Karen O’Connell Bryan Devlin Cathy Buckmaster Sebastian Clare Aoife Ryan Karina Bracken
Students rolled out for wheelchair basketball as part of Disability Week, raising awareness for disabled issues.
Gardaí investigate Centra Robbery The UCD Centra store, located on the Merville Residence, is the subject of a garda investigation after a robbery last week. It is believed the incident occurred when four middle-aged men in high visibility jackets entered the campus shop at midday, and proceeded to rake items of the shelves before ﬂeeing. Manager Colum Molloy has said “It is quite frightening for those involved to think that this kind of incident can happen in broad daylight
■ Jennifer Bray and at a busy time of day. The shop was basically cased. A female member of staff was near the four men at the time, and she was quite shaken up over it.” Molloy claims immediate attention was not given to the men due to their appearance in high visibility coats. “ We often get builders on the campus coming in, so at ﬁrst nothing was thought of it.” Measures have now been put in place in the shop to prevent further
Contributors Steven West, Eoghan Brophy, Jordan Daly, Colman Hanley, Simon Keating, Steve Tuohy, Fiona Redmond, Heather Landy, Ruth O’Neill, David Maguire, Maximilliam Harding, Faustus, Brian O’Connor, Tadgh Moriarty, Bernadette Scott, Steven Kelly, Evan O’Leary, Chris Bond, Sam McGrath, Jason Timmons, Barra O Fianail, Ben McCormack, Jim Scully, Eoin Boyle, Clare Gillett, Rachel Boyle, Diarmuid Laffan, Bryan Dunleavy, Fergal O’Reilly, Jessica Whyte, Helen O’Sullivan, Nicholas Broadstock, Orla Kenny, Susanne O’Reilly, Katie Godwin, Caitrina Cody
Special thanks to... Huw Jones and Frank Flynn at NWN, Karen from DEAF, everyone at MCD, Chantal at Universal, Alan and Beryl Ward, Sharon and Joseph Bray, 60 Cents Mochas, Eilish O’Brien and Dominic Martella at the UCD Communications Ofﬁce, Caitrina & Colin, Hilper’s Scones, Jack.
incidents of this nature, including the changing of codes for access into areas beyond the main shop premises. “I have seen them watching the codes, so all of that has been changed also.” One of the men is understood to have attempted robbery in the shop previously, and is known to staff in the shop. All are believed to be in their mid to late 40s. According to a garda spokesperson, “Investigations are ongoing. Unfortunately we are not in a position to comment any further.”
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College Tribune | October 14th 2008
Points for pulling ■ Tadgh Moriarty The Quinn School has recently become home to a new dating contest which dishes out points that increase with the daringness of the sexual act performed. Reports of dozens of girls joining in on the craze have also come to light, after seven female Quinn students devised the competition in September. Although the contest originally listed the antics in a notebook, this has now been updated to a spreadsheet on one of the female student’s laptops. The aim of the challenge is to accrue as many points as possible, with the stipulations being listed in terms of acts performed. It is understood one point is awarded for “scoring”, ﬁve points for performing oral sex on a man, and 20 points to those who have sex with a given partner. Extra points and bonus rounds are also incorporated. The additional points can be claimed for engaging
UCD Quinn School of Scoring
■ Promiscuous: Not necessarily the ofﬁcial Quinn School logo in any of the three aforementioned activities with ‘a fresher’, or ‘a ginger’. Overall, the maximum number of points which can be gained by any one act is twenty-three; that is if the lady managed to bed a fresher with ginger hair. It is understood the ‘game’ has but a few rules, signed by each female student as proof of acceptance. One such rule is that “you don’t get points for scoring the same guy twice”. The prize has been described by a partaker as “the one thing money can’t buy – a semester of unrivalled and unparalleled respect, tantamount to a student’s existence in Quinn.” Students involved in the “competition” are understood to derive from Law and Commerce among other faculties.
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
News in Brief Governing Authority nominations open Nomination papers have been sent to UCD staff in relation to elections of the fourth Governing Authority, which will hold ofﬁce for ﬁve years from 01 February 2009. Nominations will close on Wednesday, 29 October 2008 at 5.00 p.m. Voting papers and other election documents will be distributed to members of the three staff elective bodies in the week beginning 03 November. Polling will close on 25 November at 5.00 p.m. The counting of votes will take place on 26 and 27 November.
No shop for Newstead Building A food trolley is now being provided for students of the Newstead building after it was decided between managers of the building and Students’ Union President Aodhán Ó Deá that the area provided was inadequate for a shop premises. ‘It was way too small, it is basically a closet with no facilities, not even any running water.’ The announcement was met with discontent from students at a recent council meeting over the unavailability of the beverages and food after hours.
Students urged to get mumps vaccination UCD students have been urged to ensure they have received at least two doses of the MMR vaccine after further Mumps outbreaks continue on the campus. There has been a minimum of seven outbreaks of mumps recorded in third level colleges this year, according to the Health Protection Surveillance Centre (HPSC). Mumps is spread via airborne droplets, for example when an infected person coughs or sneezes, or through direct contact with an infected person or contaminated items. Symptoms can include fever, headache and a swollen jaw or cheeks. Complications are usually mild although serious complications can include meningitis, deafness and inﬂammation of the testicles, ovaries or pancreas. This vaccine itself is available free from your GP or Student Health Service. All students are advised to ensure that they have been vaccinated against Meningitis C.
Student re-infected with syphilis ten times as physician slams unprotected sex trends Students unprepared to tackle “nasty reality of sex life” A prominent physician from the GUIDE clinic in St James’ Hospital has revealed that she is coming across students who have been re-infected with syphilis up to ten times as a result of consistent unprotected sex. When questioned on the excuses she heard most often when she quizzed her patients about partaking in unprotected sexual activities, she revealed the top four: “‘I forgot to use one’, ‘I was too drunk’, ‘We were seeing each other for a while’, ‘They said they were healthy’”. The doctor, who wished to remain anonymous, claims “students are leaving secondary schools and having a taste of real freedom for the ﬁrst time and simply aren’t prepared to tackle the nasty reality of the sexual world” She further states Ireland’s binge drinking culture coupled with casual sex appears to be a key player in STI transmission. Recent press has dubbed UCD an ‘infection hotspot’, as students engage in booze-fuelled binges. According the the physician, “with correct condom usage, the risks of contracting an STI are signiﬁcantly re-
■ Tadgh Moriarty duced; HIV by 80-90%, while others such as Syphilis, Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea are reduced by over 90%.” Private clinics across Dublin that offer STI screening services recently stated that students come to them reporting having slept with 20-50 different partners and in many cases without protection. “You should visit the STI clinic every 6 months while sexually active and not only does it offer piece of mind for the person, but it also allows for early detection and treatment of infections. Almost all STIs can be treated and the earlier they are caught and treatment instigated, the better the outcome and prognosis.”
» If you want an STI check up, they are freely available in the GUIDE clinic in St James hospital (www.h) or in Baggot St Hospital in association with the Gay Men’s Health Project, for Gay and bisexual men (016602189, gmhp@ eircom.net)
■ St. James’ Hospital: Home to the GUIDE clinic
Boozy reps run riot » Continued from front page Their antics, one person naming a photograph of a room they had trashed as “Wrecked room”. One student commented “We’ll either go down as heros [sic] or as de messes dat recked de gaff!!!.” The reply to the comment was “we’ll go out as heroes who went down doin the right thing....” One student expressed worries about the consequences of their actions: “O jeez if der was photos of any of our antics we’d be fucked.” Until Friday, the ofﬁcial Class Rep Bebo page stated “what happened in wexford stays in wexford [sic]”. As of this newspapers questioning of the SU president last week, the class rep page has been removed from Bebo. When questioned if he knew that some of the representatives had been commenting publicly on the networking site about the events of the weekend, O’Dea failed to respond. Furthermore, The actual training itself was held in the Arklow Bay Hotel conference centre. When contacted, the deputy manager of the hotel said that
■ Aftermath: Some of the rooms following a UCD visit while the students had been “no trouble at all”, as of Sunday the 5th, the UCD Students’ Union owed the hotel an outstanding balance of €5,780.00.
» Editorial: Page Nine
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
Residential fines set to be legally evaluated ■ Up to 50 ﬁnes a week being dished out ■ Sub-committee to review document on breaches of residential rules Residential ﬁnes dished out to students on campus are to be legally evaluated, it has been revealed. The Students’ Union has challenged the number of ﬁnes that have in past weeks been doled out to students living in various different residences. Students’ Union Welfare ofﬁcer Conor Fingleton has said, “there have been a high number of ﬁnes recorded this year in comparison with other years, without any additional activity.” SU President Aodhán Ó Deá has claimed that up to 50 ﬁnes have been handed out per week in the college so far this year, while a new system was implemented on campus from the 12th September this year without students being notiﬁed of these changes. Speaking to the College Tribune, one RA (Residential Assistant) working on the campus said, “Martin Butler is totally in favour of huge ﬁnes despite student advisor’s reservations about how much the ﬁnes are and how they’re affecting students.” Martin Butler, Vice President for Students, has however hit back at such criticisms. “The whole idea behind introducing these ﬁnes is to allow students to work together and play to-
■ Bernadette Scott gether” whilst having “respect for one another.” On the contrary to claims by the Students’ Union, Butler stated “the number of students brought before discipline is not a huge number.” He also highlighted that there is an appeal process if students are unhappy with the ﬁnes they have received. At present, the SU has reduced the charge of an unsuccessful appeal to €50. However, it is currently being debated amongst the union as to how much ﬁnes, when issued, should be with Fingleton claiming that “€20 is more adequate.” In this week’s meetings with the Residence committee, a proposal was out forward for a sub-committee to be put in place to review the “Breaches of Residential Rules” document currently given to students living on campus. The union are also encouraging any students unhappy with ﬁnes they have received “to come talk with an advisor and seek representation.”
College chiefs enjoy 120% increase in wages ■ Jennifer Bray A spectacular rise to the tune of 120% in an assortment of college chiefs’ wage packets has been revealed. This is a rise from €100,000 to approximately €220,000 for some of the university bosses over the course of nine years. Last year it was exposed how UCD President Hugh Brady was the recipient of unauthorised allowances and was subsequently ordered to pay back any such stipends, while a pay freeze was enforced until such an eventuality. None of the seven universities were willing to provide details in a recent Oireachtas meeting on their salary scales. Eight years ago a professor could earn a top amount of €65,000, whereas this has now rocketed to €143,000. Over the same period, a senior lecturer’s maximum salary increased twofold from €51,000. Junior lecturers can expect a higher starting rate in comparison to the millenniums €17,500, instead anticipating a €35,000 kick off. The elevated salaries were defended by spokesperson for the Higher Education Authority, Malcolm Byrne. “The
■ Still worth it: Brady salaries are comparable to chief executives of similarly sized private-sector companies. These institutions are key to the development of the country,” he said. Byrne further warned that the budget would have “serious implications” upon third level institutions across the country. UCD has already reported an expected debt of €15 million this year, and college head honchos across the country have warned Minister for Education Batt O’Keeffe that more frontline student services would be cut back on unless additional funding is sourced soon. Wages of the college top brass have recently come under close scrutiny after it was revealed many of UCD’s overseers were in receipt of an amalgamated amount of €300,000.
■ Glenomena: Fines have increased over the past year
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College Tribune | October 14th 2008
News Investigations News
No Charges, No Fees... and no Fianna Fail TD TD Martin Mansergh has dismissed allegations that he “cowarded out of tough questions” after backing out of a recent debate in the college. The South Tipperary politician lashed back at the claims, saying, “I am no shrinking violet.” Mansergh was due to speak in the college at a debate on Irish patriotism last week, whereupon anti-fees group FEE ( Free Education for Everyone) planned to seize the opportunity to “make him accountable”. Spokesperson for FEE Mary O’ Flynn says “We consider his no-show a victory for our campaign and for the protest we staged. His party proposes to make access to places like UCD difﬁcult for future UCD students, so we were going to make access for him just as difﬁcult.” Over a hundred people gathered at the demonstration that was held in anticipation of Mansergh’s arrival in the college. The protest moved around the campus, ﬁnishing outside the theatre where the politician was due to arrive, chanting “no charges, no fees, no Fianna Fail TDs”. It was announced later in the evening that Mansergh would not be arriving into the debate, and an alternative speaker was put in place. “I can tell you now that the reason I decided not to come to UCD to participate in this debate has absolutely nothing to do with a pressure group. On the night in question, I had to attend an alternative urgent arrangement. I have attended pressurised meetings in the likes of West Belfast, so there is no truth in claims I backed out because of this anti-fees group. I will be hope-
■ Jennifer Bray
■ Michael Mansergh: ‘Not a shrinking violet’ fully back in UCD to speak in a few weeks.” Commenting on the possibility of Mansergh being scheduled to return, O’Flynn warned, “If he comes back, he should expect difﬁculties. We will hold him and his party accountable”. The FEE organisation aim to oppose the re-introduction of fees in all guises, and further aim to scrap the existing third level registration fee that currently stand at around 900 euro in most colleges. Reports of a possible increase in registration fee have also been met with widespread criticism.
■ Boisterous: The protest outside Theatre M, and Mary O’Flynn (inset)
Opposition attack proposals for major hike in student registration fee Government proposals to increase the third-level registration fee have been met with widespread criticism from the opposition and the Union of Students in Ireland (USI). Fine Gael Spokesperson for Education Brian Hayes has slated the proposal as a “ridiculous attempt to generate extra money for the coffers of the education sector.” He further stated that those who would be facing the extra costs would be parents. “Now that there is a ﬁnancial hole in the sector they should not try to plug it by doing this because at the end of the day the people who will have to face these higher costs will be parents.” Labour spokesperson for Education Ruairi Quinn and President of the USI Shane Kelly have dismissed talk of an
■ Opposition: Fine Gael’s Brian Hayes (left) and USI President Shane Kelly
■ Jennifer Bray increased fee as merely a back-door to introducing fees. Quinn claimed the hike was simply a “revenue generating scam” and went on to say that any increase would show the government to be breaking previously made promises in education. “The money raised will not make our universities better. This increase will barely soften the even bigger cutbacks I’m expecting in the education budget,” he said. Quinn concluded that the main result of any such eventuality would be that “instead of studying, (students) will have to work harder in part time jobs and struggle to make ends meet”. USI president Shane Kelly said increasing the charge would be a com-
plete back-stepping of the policies quoted by O’Keeffe ever since the debate on fees has been slotted back onto the agenda. “He wanted a debate on how the fees would be handled and now he’s not getting the response he
wants. He appears to have decided to circumvent the debate, the colleges and the students by moving to increase the registration fee instead,” he said. The Minister for Education is believed to be examining a report from
the Higher Education Authority which outlines predictions on the revenue which the return of charges would create. While the Minister continues to signal that he will not consider the burden of fees on any households with an income of less than €120,000 per year, it is believed the HEA report says at least €50 million could be raised, even from a fees regime with a very high income limit. Recently it was exposed that up to 75% of the previous increase in the registration fee went straight towards a governmental black hole.
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
On the ground:
Sexism and the
campus ■ Student takes complaint against posters to Equality Tribunal ■ Feminism a misunderstood concept ■ Male students dub posters “garish and culturally moronic” Kate McCarthy, MA student: “No matter how much the penisbrained creators of such posters argue that ‘it’s all in good fun’, the fact is that women are consistently singled out, mocked and degraded because they are women. And that is rarely an issue that arises with men. That’s what makes it sexist. Female sexuality is clearly still, despite 40 years or so of feminism, a terrifying prospect for men, and so they deal with it by laughing at it and/or attempting to control it. The constant display of sexist posters around college perpetuates this attitude, and is frankly something I would expect from a bunch of 14-year-olds who don’t know any better. Sadly it’s coming from a bunch of young men who should and probably do.”
Former UCD student James Redmond “I don’t believe that such garish and culturally moronic posters have anything to add to the sexual identities of young men on campus. Most of these posters really are just symptoms of a sexually conservative atmosphere where issues around body and sexual identity cannot be openly discussed - they are just joked at. UCD as a college overall shows little ability to deal with the real sexualities of its students. The health centre is always over subscribed, young women have no access to an over the counter morning after contraceptive, young men have little knowledge of sexual health, and any discourse on pro-choice issues is railed against as lunatic. In short, UCD is a deeply repressed college, a college where peo-
■ Karina Bracken ple substitute these images into their head instead of going out and relating to each other as real, feeling and sexual beings. Really, despite talk of how modern it is, UCD is clearly still a very Catholic university at heart. It is lying to itself.”
Fiona, PhD student who has studied, and more recently taught, at UCD for the past 8 years: “The posters are out of hand, but it is by no means a new phenomenon. It has been that way for my entire academic life here.” Explaining that she has come from a long line of both male and female feminists, she says that the term ‘feminist’ is often used negatively. “The term has been coopted by the media (and indeed men) to connote ‘bra burning, man-hating butch lesbians.’” Fiona has even seen this in her work as a tutor teaching feminist theory, “I asked at the start of the tutorial who would identify themselves as a feminist, invariably most classes saw no one raise their hand, bar a single female student.”
Cat McIlroy former student in Equality Studies: “I have made a formal complaint under the Dignity and Respect policy against both the University itself and a UCD society, speciﬁcally regarding its poster advertising an event during Freshers’ Week. It was a formal complaint of sexual harassment against both the L&H Society and its ‘Porn
Debate’ poster, and the University itself for allowing such unlawful harassment to take place.” McIlroy is appalled by “the confusion and lack of information about the ofﬁcial student complaints procedure itself.” She intends to bring her complaint to the Equality Tribunal under the Equal Status Acts 2000-2004.
“the whole campus looks like some kind of special geodesic issue of Nuts” Jane Rufﬁno Rufﬁno speaks candidly about the issue of exploitative posters she remembers during her time at UCD. “It made the whole campus look like some kind of special geodesic issue of Nuts, which never seemed to gel with UCD’s goal as reaching the top of the ranks.” However, she believes that the posters are only symptoms of a bigger problem. Rufﬁno blames the gender dynamic that is supported by a lot of people at UCD. She ﬁrmly believes that those that do nothing to stop it can also be blamed for it. Contrasting Ireland with other universities she said, “It just wouldn’t happen in the US. Even the dumbest frat boys would know that you can only put those kinds of posters in your house, and not around campus.” Rufﬁno refers to the glossy post-
ers as “ ob noxious, arrogant and wasteful.” She goes on to say that not only are they damaging in their depiction of women, but the amount of large, glossy posters that are used and then disposed of is harmful to the environment. She is aware that some societies cite “free speech” to defend themselves, but she believes that it shows a “complete lack of imagination, humour and creativity.” Rufﬁno recalls a time when B&L were selling tickets for their “Sue and Screw Me” night out. She became so frustrated with the surgically enhanced breasts displayed in the poster that she demanded that they be taken down. A girl at the stall exclaimed “But they’re beautiful”, to which Rufﬁno replied, “That’s not beautiful, that’s photoshopped!” The ex-UCD student says that the images on these posters reﬂect an unhealthy attitude towards sex.
She also notes: “It is ironic that societies such as L&H have posters which degrade women. L&H is of course known for bestowing honorary membership upon those who are applauded for their work. These people have often fought to combat this very same thing. What would Noam Chomsky say if he saw these posters?” “I am surprised and disappointed at the attitude among students in UCD. College is supposed to be the time you ﬁght for what you believe in and try to make things better for everyone around you. You’re not supposed to become a Right-Wing misogynist until at least the age of 50.” Rufﬁno is similarly critical of the university’s authorities “The administration in UCD wash their collective hands of this issue time and time again.”
» Jane Rufﬁno is a journalist, broadcasters, and a former UCD student
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
FAUSTUS Back Supping with the devils
t’s as if Faustus has never been away. A brief interlude away from the veritable cesspit that is University College Dublin Dublin, it’s good to see that some things never change around the these hallowed concrete ediﬁces. For the young and innocent amongst you, you may never have heard of Faustus. You will never have learned of the intrepid, public service journalism that Faustus offers. Your humble correspondent is here for you, exposing innocent UCDians to the movings and shakings that deﬁne SU and society life. Faustus, like any good public servant, rolls his trousers to the knee and wades into those murky waters, and occasionally ﬁshes out a juicy little newt. Or runs into Pierce Farrell. Bastard. You see Faustus has watched from the sidelines over the last few years and observed his old rival dominate proceedings. Now to mention an old foe is to admit inferiority, and Faustus isn’t going to do that any time soon. But let’s just say she’s a pussy and letís leave it at that. Speaking of the Union, your esteemed elected representatives (plus mates and occasional busty blonde which took their fancy) recently went on tour to the sunny south east, paid for in part by your student services fee. But don’t despair, it was all for a good cause. Class rep ‘training’ is a ﬁne and noble thing, and those both giving and receiving such an education have certainly appeared a little less stressed over the past week. And why not? This year’s motley crew of horrible hacks enjoyed luxury self catering accommodation, ﬁne music, and a full Irish all paid for by your money. The smorgasbord that comprises elected union ofﬁcers and their
fan club had within its ranks some of the biggest blackguards ever to be chased around campus by President Hugh Brady’s new band of minions, Pulse Security. On the bus and during the training session our ofﬁcers and unsuspecting class reps were subject to foul mouthed football-fan-style taunts. These hoodlums made even the Millwall F.C. fans resemble Tim Henman’s bingo-winged army of grannies. In the space of a couple of hours our budding hacks and future leaders of this country managed to reduce the humble seaside resort of Courtown into the Costa Del Sex. It was too much for one young lady who by the early evening found herself in a benylin n’cider induced coma. Luckily, although copious amounts of alcohol were consumed, many of our hacks were still feeling a little fresher by the end of the night. The holiday home complex became the set of Ireland’s ﬁrst ever gay porno starring two hacks we all know and love. Sadly enough, the incriminating tape has since gone missing and is believed to be in the possession of Ryan ‘Cowgirl’ Grifﬁn. One class rep went around trying to solicit some of the young ones for a golden shower, but upon refusal he decided that a plug socket would sufﬁce instead. The moment of madness caused a chain reaction which triggered an explosion visible from the International Space Station. Speaking of sticky situations, it was all too much for President O’Dea who was subjected to a heavy BDSM session by the caretaker as punishment for the weekend of madness. Paisean Fasiean indeed. Former Accomodation and Employment ofﬁcer Enda ‘Angry Man’ Duffy slammed the SU’hjhhvhs handling of the weekend he denounced the whole trip as ‘an absolute disgrace’. ‘Class rep training was a sham, our ofﬁcers have spent student’s money on a pure junket, they should be ashamed of themselves, if it was up to me we’d be stayin’ in tents, drinkin’ warm beer and eating Tesco Value Cornﬂakes for Breakfast, none of this full Irish, that’s bourgeois. Meanwhile, down Union Corridor, Tony Blair and Gordon Brown, or at least the washedup politicians UCD equivalent Dan O’Neill and Chris Bond are currently watching re-runs of Happy Days while plotting future leftie World Domination. Conor ‘Drink-feck-arse’ Fingelton was conspicuously absent, probably due to sale on Tesco Value blue pants. Bless. Yours excitedly,
■ Under pressure: The infamous Katie Couric interview with Governor Sarah Palin
Gotcha Socrates! – on the latest political assault on reason Poor Socrates. Charged, convicted and executed for, among other things, making “the weaker argument defeat the stronger.” How did he do it? Beliefs strongly held by Socrates’ various interlocutors – Athenians with pretensions of authority – were demolished with a few direct questions about the unthought principles, if any, behind those beliefs. The interlocutors were reduced to angry silence. Lacking the capacity to respond intellectually they sorted out the Socrates problem in the severest way possible. Nevertheless, the Socrates problem has not disappeared: the claims of “authority” are as vulnerable to examination as ever they were. But the response of the deservedly humiliated – in the West at least – is not so much to kill the questioner as to kill the questioning. The allegation “gotcha journalism” is the latest attempt to do just that, a term which seeks to discredit the very notion of a forensic question. U.S. Presidential elections have become increasingly conducive breeding environments for reason-resistant discourse. Recently the Republican VicePresidential candidate in the current elections was unable to answer questions about how her claims that being Alaskan gave her special competence to deal with American-Russian relations; about the range of historic decisions made by the U.S. Supreme Court; and she expressed a view on Pakistan which ﬂatly contradicted that of her running-mate. The questions which produced these revealing answers were ﬁercely condemned by her
Brian O’Connor “Gotcha journalism” is supposedly the mischievous practice of asking questions which, cunningly, can produce only incoherent or embarrassing answers supporters as “gotcha journalism.” “Gotcha journalism” is supposedly the mischievous practice of asking questions which, cunningly, can produce only incoherent or embarrassing answers. The appearance of incoherence and embarrassment have nothing to do, it seems, with the intellectual powers or mendacity of the questioned. By this measure Socrates was merely a “gotcha philosopher” with no concern for the truth.
The danger is clear. The notion of a legitimate question is effectively redeﬁned as one which the powerful can answer with ease. Fawning enquiry counts as the only respectable form. An ignorant and intellectually insecure constituency comes to be manipulated – like the Athenian crowd – into cheering along the denunciation of serious scrutiny of its politicians. In this climate reasonable questions – such as those the Vice-Presidential candidate could not answer – are not permitted to be asked unless we know in advance that they can be answered. Anything else is decried as “gotcha.” One trick to give legitimacy to the idea that hard questions are nothing but “gotcha” questions is to equate fair questions with unanswerable ones. Consider the following effort (by conservative writer Mark Steyn). To ask a politician seeking high ofﬁce “Name the Deputy Fisheries Minister of Hoogivsastan” is identiﬁed as a case of “gotcha journalism.” It probably would be were it ever asked. (During his 2000 campaign George W. Bush could not name the Prime Minister of India – not quite the same thing.) But what happens is that all questions that leave the preferred politician silent or fumbling are characterized as equivalent to the Hoogivsastan question. It takes a particular kind of audience for this trick to succeed. To resist it a robust public reason – the Socratic moment – is still essential.
» Brian O’Connor is the Head of the UCD School of Philosophy
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
Please reply to:
Letters Fees Dear Editors, After the article in the College Tribune dated Wednesday Oct 1st I am curious about the reintroduction to college fees. Students gave a list of reasons why they thought that reintroduction of fees would be a bad idea e.g. rights for undergraduate education in Europe, equality to education, inﬂation etc. These are all very relevant and valid points. What, however, I ﬁnd strange is that they are not suggesting a good alternative for funding. Or, at least, they don’t make it clear. Put yourself in the shoes of the Minister for Education. You need money. There are cutbacks being made already (stafﬁng levels would be a good example). You propose to introduce fees. How the students respond is very childlike - “We don’t want fees! No to fees!” But do they propose an intelligent alternative to funding? No. So yes, they are unhappy but
they are not part of the solution to the problem. I think that the Minister would be more inclined to listen to the students if they gave him a good, intelligent, well thought out plan of how to raise the money. The article mentioned the Luas as a money-wasting project. Probably meaning to say that if the Luas wasn’t constructed the money could be given towards education. And now just repeat to yourself - the Luas is a waste of money?! Has the author of those words ever been on the Red or the Green line during rush hour when the carriages are packed with people who are more than happy to use it? Going back to the fees problem. I would like to give an example of the third level education in Russia. Not a perfect system, it has many ﬂaws but I like one idea about it. The university combines both public and private systems. If the student doesn’t get enough points to do a course they can still enroll into it however they will be charged fees. Alternatively they can choose a course with less entry points. So there are two sets of entry points for each course - the free education points are higher than the fees
education, but even if one pays fees they still need to get a certain amount of points. The difference between the Russian system of combining public and private and the Irish system of having separate institutions is seemingly small. However think about it: universities which, at the moment do not charge fees, very often have a high national and international rating. They give more opportunities for postgraduate work and attract more well known and distinguished people for lecturing. So why not allow students the opportunity to choose: enroll in their ﬁrst choice in the CAO and pay the fees or for ﬁnancial or other reasons settle for their second or third choice. UCD Architecture student
College Tribune LG 18, Newman Building (Arts Block) or Box 74, Student Centre, UCD Email: firstname.lastname@example.org Tel: 01 716 8501 The College Tribune reserves the right to edit letters
College Tribune Class rep training Class representatives have a vital function in UCD student life. From looking after the educational wellbeing of their classmates, to setting up much needed social events, the class rep system helps to make every student’s life just that little bit easier. To facilitate this, a training weekend away for class reps, both new and old, seems not just a novel idea but something critical to help the process along. Only the most hardened of cynics would begrudge the consumption of alcohol and the resulting scandal that would ensue. However, this year’s event sadly strayed across a blurry line of decency and acceptability that representatives of class, Student’s Union and university should all adhere to. The actions of a small number on this trip did not beﬁt that of any UCD student, let alone democratically elected representatives with expenses paid in part by the student populace. Indeed it is most unfortunate that accommodation facilities in the south east are set to shut their doors to student use from this university. Certain class representatives would ﬁnd it prudent to recall why they ran for a representative position in the ﬁrst place. The union is not designed to act as a social club for a minority, or a mechanism to further career prospects. Sadly, the ill-judged actions of a select few damages the credibility of not just the class rep system but the entire union as a whole, right at a time when the student’s of this university require strong representation at local an national level like never before.vhh
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Another week, another league table. The powers that be in UCD administration are proudly holding aloft the college’s rise of 69 places to the cusp of the top 100 universities in the world. Students are no doubt slightly less enthusiastic about the opinions of international academics and citation scores. While some in high-proﬁle places will see such as a rise as justiﬁcation of the sweeping changes that started an academic cycle ago, there are very pressing issues that this latest set of results paper over, and need to be addressed. The UCD Horizons scheme may play well in attaining better points in ranking schemes and marketing ploys, but a great number of students utilise it to obtain easy credits, rather than to ‘deepen’ or ‘broaden’ their degree as the advertisements suggest. While the university ﬁnds itself in a competitive environment, it must maintain its soul. The sweeping changes in the nature of coursework is slowly killing the vibrant society life that characterises this university. Cardinal Newman’s vision of a university is in great danger should the policy of the university shift to obtaining the highest possible world ranking. With cuts in the university budget becoming an increasingly noticeable factor, it is time for some tough choices. Items such as the Gateway project, attractive as they may seem, will cease to be a credible endeavour should the same university be unable to purchase new textbooks for the library. The ofﬁcial college line is that rankings will not disproportionally alter their policies for governing the university. That is to their credit. However it is this newspaper’s opinion that the education of future generations - both academically and otherwise, should be the premier goal of this institution, a goal that should endure no matter what the consequences for UCD’s place in the international rankings.
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
Zoey Hughes of Focus Ireland speaks to Steven Kelly about the ramiﬁcations of recession on the homeless.
Homelessness At present 5,000 people remain homeless at any one time, with the number set to grow exponentially. The Dublin Simon Community rough-sleeper team recently announced that they had received a 48% increase in people seeking help within the space of a year. With a downward turning economy the pyramidal peak of wealth of bygone times will no longer to able to provide the panacea. At present there are 43,000 people on social housing lists nationwide. Undeniably the recession will further impact the homeless population in Ireland. Focus Ireland Life President and founder Sr. Stanislaus Kennedy recently remarked, “It is shocking to see the level of shortfall in delivery of social housing during the boom years. The problem is worse now than when Focus Ireland was ﬁrst set up 23 years ago. It is vital that urgent action is taken to address this shortfall as a home is the very foundation stone of any attempt to create a more equal society.” A continued dearth of access to “move on accommodation” acts as an endless trap to individuals in the homeless community. At present the Government is 40 % short of its target for social and affordable housing as outlined in Towards 2016, the National Action Plan for Social Inclusion and the National Development Plan. The present situation places the Government’s pledge to eradicate long-term homelessness by 2010 into considerable doubt. Zoey Hughes conﬁrms, “We remain hopeful that this target is met.” There is no denying that there will be increased pressure placed on organisations such as Focus Ireland in the ensuing economic climate. In 2007 alone Focus Ireland provided nearly 45,000 meals, 192 children with childcare services and provided 171 people access to education. As Zoey Hughes states “There is no national ﬁgure for children (seeking childcare services). Childcare services involve a number of things mainly helping families, working parents and especially children to access education.” Sr. Stan afﬁrms, “We are acutely aware of the worsening economic situation and the increasing demands on public spending. It is already becoming apparent that the demand for services from charities such as Focus Ireland is increasing as people feel the impact of the economic downturn.” “In such a climate it would be disastrous if government were to cut existing levels of funding. It is incumbent on the government, when considering its budgetary options, to ensure that those who have beneﬁted the least during the boom years are not made pay the price during any downturn in the economy.” Throughout 2007 Fo-
cus Ireland worked with over 6,000 people, a ﬁgure which is likely to grow in keeping with year on year comparisons. Hughes avows “We ourselves have seen a 25% rise in the number of people contacting our services.” Focus Ireland relies on the public in order to sustain its operations nationwide with 45% of funding comes from individual donors. Hughes says, “Focus Ireland remains hopeful that further cutbacks will not occur.” Archbishop Diarmuid Martin remarked regarding homelessness that: “Prosperity has not always brought with it greater social concern. As our prosperity is challenged in economically difﬁcult times, we must work to see that social concern is not replaced with self-concern. Selﬁshness and self-centeredness are signs not of being clever or smart, but of never having reached maturity, of being ﬁxated and stilted in our human growth.” The most recent ofﬁcial rough-sleeper count found 111 individuals sleeping rough on one night in Dublin city although this is perceived as being the absolute minimum. In a recent press release, Focus Ireland declared that the Irish Government must invest 4 billion euro in social housing in order to provide any chance of maintaining their avowal to eradicate long-term homelessness by 2010 and fulﬁll their obligation under the National Development Plan (NDP). Focus Ireland profess that this investment must be prioritised in the forthcoming Budget within the NDP in order to attain or build 10,000 social, 6,000 affordable and 2,000 new Rental Accommodation Scheme (RAS) homes in 2009. The organization contends that this investment would make ﬁnancial and moral sense to stimulate the economy, protect jobs and provide homes for those in the greatest need and diminish the social housing waiting list. The association maintains that the public and Government must not forget the invisible homeless- those in emergency accommodation such as hostels, refuges, in B&B’s or double
“A lack of access to housing keeps some people trapped in a state of homelessness even when they are ready to move on. This is just one of our services and it shows how good work can be undermined”
share with friends and relatives. These people make up to 20 times the number of people sleeping rough. CEO Joyce Loughnan asserts: “The good news is we have now supported just under 700 households to secure a home since 2005. However, a lack of access to housing is acting to undermine some of this work by keeping some people trapped in homelessness even when they are ready to move on. This is just one of our services and it shows how good work can be undermined. “Our staff had worked with these families and individuals to ensure they were ready to move on then they end up remaining homeless as the housing is simply not available.” Focus Ireland’s advice and information service based in Temple Bar directly assisted 72 households in securing a home last year, however another 60 households remained homeless due to the absence of available accommodation. As Hughes contends “There is certainly concern that funding will go down.” (regarding social housing). At
present there are over 2,000 people homeless in the Greater Dublin Area. Financial destitution acts as a lynchpin for homelessness with housing shortages, the high cost of private accommodation, relationship dissolution, addiction, mental health problems and departure from care or prison contributing to overall predicament. In 2007 Focus Ireland launched an unprecedented new in-reach programme in Cloverhill Prison in Dublin to work with prisoners to prevent them becoming homeless upon release. As one of Ireland’s leading housing and homeless charities Focus Ireland seeks to tackle and impede homelessness through furnishing services of the highest caliber, supported housing and advocacy. Hughes notes, “The recession has urged our staff to work a lot harder to combat homelessness.” Under its ﬁve-year strategy 200510 Focus Ireland strives to supply 800 homes. The charity is also committed to supporting 1210 households around the country to secure a permanent place to call home through its Ten-
ancy Support and Settlement work by 2010. Since 2005 Focus Ireland has doubled its housing supply now providing a place to call home for nearly 550 households through its housing in Dublin, Waterford, Limerick, Cork and Sligo. “Unless there is more funding the waiting list backlog will continue. The lack of access to social housing is the greatest problem facing the homeless community. Undeniably the recession is going to have an affect.” Says Hughes. The crux of the matter is that Focus Ireland believes that everyone has the right to a place called home which is safe, secure and appropriate to their needs. However, budgetary restraints have been enforced nationwide and the National Development Plan has been put on the shelf as a result of the economic climate. It is hoped that the upcoming budget will consider those 5000 homeless people and continue to fund organizations such as Focus Ireland as they play a fundamental role in securing and bettering the lives of the most isolated and destitute in society.
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
Romanian orphanages and their appalling conditions rose to international prominence with the fall of Ceausescu’s Communist dictatorship in 1990, write Evan O Leary and Tadgh Moriarty. 18 years on, the College Tribune speaks to two prominent voices in the ﬁeld; physiotherapist Fiona Dowling, one of the many Irish who became aware of the human rights abuses exposed by the media back in the nineties, and broadcaster George Hook.
Romania calling In 1966 a baby boom was instigated in Romania under the dictatorship of then leader Nicolae Ceausescu. The government wished to redress Romania’s low birth and fertility rates. They believed that an increase in population would lead to a greater sum of labourers who would, in turn, deliver economic prosperity. Population growth was accelerated by banning contraception, imposing taxes on childless couples and denying abortions to women with less than ﬁve children. This unrelenting and aggressive policy was promoted with urgency despite an already impoverished populace. Families were forced into having more and more offspring – and many found it impossible to fund such a sizeable family. Their options were limited. Orphanages were seen by many as the most suitable way of dealing with
their problems. They would soothe ﬁnancial worries and their children would be provided with warm shelter and food. With so many choosing this option and with homelessness illegal, overcrowding was indeed inevitable. This issue was ignored and the problem was exacerbated by a sudden lack of government funding after reckless ﬁscal decisions. The effects of these errors came to light in 1990 following the demise of the Communist regime and the death of Nicolae Ceausescu. Cighid, an orphanage, became the most infamous institution where many of the children, mostly disabled, died within weeks of arrival due either to starvation or diseases. The media got wind of the ‘humanitarian crisis’ and suddenly television screens were ﬁlled with the ‘appalling conditions’ that the children were being ‘forced to endure.’
In order to ﬁnd out more about the current state of affairs in Romania, ma ia The College C llege Tribune T ibunee spoke spok with Fiona DowlD l ing, a physiotherapist by trade who was one of the many Irish who became aware of the ‘human rights abuses’ exposed by the media back in the nineties, and secondly George Hook, for his radio show ‘The Right Hook’ with Newstalk and his ubiquitous presence on RTE television. First made aware of the human rights abuses in Romanian orphanages through the media in the early nineties, Fiona Dowling joined the Irish charity Comber in 1994 and has remained involved with its work and efforts ever since. In 2004, Fiona was invited onto the board of directors for her contributions to the charity and its work. When she ﬁrst joined Comber, the group’s endeavors were focused on the institutions which housed over two hundred children, with disabilities ranging from mild to moderate and severe. “Each cot lined room had only one or two care staff,” who, according to Dowling, “basically sat at the door.” The basic necessities such as food, water and nappies were in short supply. For adults the situation was not dramatically different. In the years following the international media coverage, and massive international pressure to reform the human rights abuses, there was what Dowling describes as “patchy and incomplete, but signiﬁcant change happening for children services.” However, for anyone over the age of 18 entering what was termed ‘adult services’, there was “no media coverage, no international attention and no pressure.”
It was for this reason that Comber decided to focus on “those children who had appeared on our screens in the nineties, and were now forced into adult institutions.” Today, the charity’s main efforts are focused in Giurgiu County where there are four main institutions, each with up to 120 residents living in ‘appalling conditions’. Residents never leave – “they are behind locked gates and that’s their lives,” says Dowling. Those with multiple disabilities never go outside, and a sizeable proportion of these never leave their beds. Those with milder disabilities get out in summer, but in winter they “sit in dull decaying day rooms rocking forward and backwards all day.” “Some of the residents have the
mildest of disabilities and one is forced to contemplate ‘why were (they) ever abandoned as a child?” says Dowling. “What was considered to be their disability? It may have been a leg length difference or a mild intellectual disability; some were institutionalized by their families following a breakdown in mainstream society.” “Most of these adults have been in institutions since infancy, abandoned because of some theoretical type of disability. One girl’s dream was to ‘have clothes she could call her own, ones that weren’t from a Broadcaster and pundit George Hook, a prominent advocate for those at risk in Romania, was ﬁrst made aware of the degrading and inhumane nature of these places through his daughter, Michelle. After 1990, he believes the outside world “forgot that those children became adults.” Hook is passionate about the grave injustice these young adults have been dealt, saying the Romanian government has “airbrushed these people out of history.” Hook is particularly critical of the European Union’s failure to act sufﬁciently. They overlooked weaknesses in the Romanian system, he claims, just to speed up their entry into the Union. The EU did impose a limit on the number of people who could be resident in an institution, but in some cases these institutions would have
shared laundry.’ Comber is working closely with the local authorities and by providing capital funding to drive the closure of these institutions and replace them with group homes. There are now four group homes up and running, with 32 adults from two institutions now calling them their home. “These are adults with mild to moderate disabilities who have the ability to live semi-independently - some even have jobs. The difference is absolutely phenomenal. For the ﬁrst time they have a wardrobe three or perhaps even four separate buildings so the Romanian government could claim each building was unrelated and they were each a single institution. He recalls his ﬁrst visit to an orphanage as being tranquil from the outset. He was on a long, open road. It was serene, with no one around. Ahead of him he saw a set of large black gates. They were nameless. What is on the other side, few would know or even care to discover. “The difference was that I went through those gates,” he says. On entering, he vividly remembers being confronted by the smell of urine and faeces. He believes the only suitable comparison which can be made is that of the “concentration camps during World War II.” It was not only the dire living standards which “appalled and shocked” him. It was also the fact that the residents had so little to occupy their time
with their own clothes, a kitchen to cook in, or a garden to call their own. The next phase of the project is to develop homes for adults with multiple disabilities, and who need assistance in daily living. The aim is to create a model so that “adults with complex needs are given the rights that they deserve.” There are other funders coming on stream, however Comber is adamant that they do not fund or maintain the current institutions. “They should be closed as they are totally inappropriate places to live,” says Dowling. with. Amusements and activities were not provided for them. Hook, poignantly, recalls entering into a room where “30 people were all sitting on chairs, looking at walls”. They had no alternatives - no escape. George Hook praises Comber’s wonderful work. “These people are now getting the life they were once denied but always deserved.” He commends how some of these young adults now have a “life of meaning.” They can now enjoy simple pleasures and enjoy a normal life. Hook urges UCD students and Ireland’s youth to be “active and noisy” in the area, hoping for a greater acknowledgement of the discrimination these young people in Romania have endured and continue to endure.
For more information or to get involved, contact Fiona Dowling at email@example.com
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
The real McCain A prisoner of war, victim of a homosexual smear campaign, anti-abortionist, so just what is John McCain all about, asks Chris Bond For those of us with even a passing interest in the US elections, we’ve heard an awful lot about ‘hope’ these last few months. But if there’s one person who you can testify that hope prevails even in the most adverse conditions, that person is John McCain. And with the election now just days away, and McCain behind in the polls, it’s worth remembering that the Arizona Senator has spent his entire life gasping for breath whilst taking the knocks. As a prisoner of war McCain was almost driven to suicide by torture and maltreatment at the hands of the Viet Cong. At one stage he was offered early release, but turned it down because he refused to betray his comrades. The consequence of rejecting the Viet Cong’s terms was spending the next 2 years in solitary conﬁnement. After ﬁve long years of suffering in a Vietnamese jail, McCain was ﬁnally released in 1973 in accordance with the Paris Peace accords. After years as a Senator for Arizona, John McCain contested the Republican Presidential Primary in 2000. After a strong start, his reputation was destroyed by rumours that he was a homosexual and that he fathered a black child outside of wedlock. Although it was an anonymous smear campaign there are many who maintain that the allegations were a deliberate ploy by George W Bush, who eventually went on to win the nomination. In 2007 McCain declared his intention to run for President of the United States again. However things didn’t get off according to plan. Towards the end of ‘07 his campaign was in jeopardy due to lack of funds and many opinion polls showed him to be behind Rudi Guliani. To make matters worse, Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee emerged as frontrunners for the Presidential nomination by the end of the year. Despite being a non-runner at the ﬁrst contest in the Iowa Caucus, McCain dragged his campaign out of the wilderness and scored a decisive victory at the New Hampshire primary, carrying the momentum all the way through to Super Tuesday. Both Huckabee and Romney had terminated their campaigns by March, paving the way for McCain to be conﬁrmed as the Presidential nominee at the Republican Convention in St Paul, Minnesota last month. McCain is trying to build support for an agenda based on belief in the free market, a hawkish foreign policy and defence of conservative values at a time when public opinion seems to be dead set against the Republican Party. Elections are often a matter of rallying one’s base; social conservatives have played a key role in ensuring
that Republican Party has dominated the Ofﬁce of the president of the United States for all but 12 of the past 40 years. But McCain’s relationship with the party’s conservative base has been far from amicable. His opposition to the use of torture in Guantanamo and his support for the Comprehensive Immigration Reform Act have led to clashes between McCain and the party’s conservative base, giving rise to the nickname ‘Maverick.’ McCain’s selection of right-wing Alaskan governor Sarah Palin as his running mate is the latest attempt to win over many social conservatives who have other wise been tepid towards his candidacy. At a debate early this year McCain stated that if elected he would be a “pro life presi-
dent.” He has pledged to overturn Roe V Wade, effectively rendering abortion illegal in the United States. Running mate Sarah Palin is opposed to abortion even in the case of rape and incest. Some of McCain’s religious right supporters include Pastor John Hagee who claims that Global Warming is a liberal conspiracy – along with denouncing Harry Potter for what he calls the “preaching of witchcraft.” Like his opponent Barack Obama, John McCain is trying to transcend party lines, reaching out to independents and disillusioned Democrats. McCain purports a record of bipartisanship, and has worked on legislation with even the most liberal of Democrats. Along with Democratic Senator Russ Feingold, McCain was
the chief sponsor of the bipartisan campaign reform act which called for upward limits on campaign spending. Former Democratic running mate for Al Gore in 2000, Joe Lieberman, is McCain’s closest friend in the United States Senate. Despite spending most of his life as a Democrat, Lieberman backed McCain at the 2008 Republican Convention, citing his bipartisan successes. In a similar vein, the McCain campaign also wasted no time in trying to sway some of the disenchanted supporters of failed Democratic candidate Hilary Clinton. In the run up to the Democratic National Convention, McCain’s campaign launched an ad which highlighted the animosity between
Obama and Clinton during the primary season. The ad was also aimed at those who were disappointed that Obama didn’t choose Clinton as his running mate. McCain’s website also contains a video testimonial by Debra Bartoshevich – a former Hillary Clinton supporter who is now campaigning for McCain. Scarred for Life after his POW experience in Vietnam and a victim of several political setbacks, McCain has deﬁed the odds throughout his whole life. He is ﬁghting again with his back up against the wall. He is hoping that his message will triumph against a background of unpopularity with the Bush Administration, dissatisfaction with the war in Iraq and diminishing conﬁdence in the free market on the part of ordinary Americans.
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
Top Ten Palinisms 1. “As for that VP talk all the time, I’ll tell you, I still can’t answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?” Sarah Palin, interview with CNBC’s “Kudlow & Co”, July 2008 2. “As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border.” Sarah Palin, explaining why Alaska’s proximity to Russia gives her foreign policy experience, interview with CBS’s Katie Couric, Sept. 24, 2008 3. “Well, let’s see. There’s -- of course -- in the great history of America rulings there have been rulings.” Sarah Palin, unable to name a Supreme Court decision other than Roe vs. Wade, interview with Katie Couric, CBS News, Oct. 1, 2008 4. “All of ‘em, any of ‘em that have been in front of me over all these years.” Sarah Palin, unable to name a single newspaper or magazine she reads, interview with Katie Couric, CBS News, Oct. 1, 2008 5. “They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan.” --Sarah Palin, speaking at a fundraiser in San Francisco, Oct. 5, 2008
6. “Pray for our military men and women who are striving to do what is right. Also, for this country, that our leaders, our national leaders, are sending soldiers out on a task that is from God. That’s what we have to make sure that we’re praying for, that there is a plan and that that plan is God’s plan.” Sarah Pailn, on the Iraq war, speaking to students at the Wasilla Assembly of God, June 2008 7. “I’ll try to ﬁnd you some and I’ll bring them to you.” Sarah Palin, asked by Katie Couric to cite speciﬁc examples of how John McCain has pushed for more regulation in his 26 years in the Senate, CBS interview, Sept. 24, 2008 8. “That’s exactly what we’re going to do in a Palin and McCain administration.” Sarah Palin, elevating herself to the top of the ticket, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Sept. 18, 2008 9. “I told the Congress, ‘Thanks, but no thanks,’ on that Bridge to Nowhere.” Sarah Palin, who was for the Bridge to Nowhere before she was against it 10. “I’m the mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can’t.’”
Sarah Palin, as quoted by former City Council Member Nick Carney, after he raised objections about the $50,000 she spent renovating the mayor’s ofﬁce without approval of the city council
On a bridge to nowhere? Sarah Palin has undeniably captivated audiences, but is it for all the wrong reasons, asks Evan O’Leary After a series of prime time interviews, except surprisingly the Fox ones, the approval ratings of Sarah Palin have sharply declined. Recent polls have suggested that support for her has waned considerably, with one quoting a ten percent decline. This has led Republicans to deem her a liability and a possible bane on their chances of clinching victory in November. The Democrats and most liberal Europeans though, have revelled and cringed in her unintentionally hilarious and ill-informed statements and responses. Just over a month ago, it seemed to be going perfectly well for her. She had grasped the limelight from Obama, and she had completely diluted the mass hysteria that came with his spectacular Democratic convention speech. Attention and focus was now shifting to the McCain campaign. Their popularity was rising. Palin had the Republicans smitten and the Democrats fretting. Most importantly, she successfully
sealed and secured the support of the crucial Evangelical electorate and injected a youthful vibrancy into an antiquated McCain ticket. In politics of course, anything can change overnight. Being the mayor of a town with a population of a mere 5,000 and being a governor of the most sparsely populated state in America is hardly going to get you noticed in the United States. So unsurprisingly at the outset, little was known of her political attributes and capabilities. Her major television debut came on ABC in an interview with Charlie Gibson. She was simply asked if she agreed with the Bush Doctrine. Cue visible signs of agitation a sigh but then a conﬁdent sounding “in what respect Charlie”. A tad disappointing response most would say. However, Tina Fey of Saturday Night Live fame, managed to answer more concisely with a frank, “I don’t know what that is”. Perfect. No convoluted, superﬁcial, political ramblings,
just straight talking. Fey, at that moment, demonstrated her readiness to lead. However, Palin would soon recapture her crown with some marvellously pertinent answers. Many would favour replaying the ol’ lipstick gag, or perhaps the Katie Couric interviews which are far funnier. A woman who explains her foreign policy experience by stating what might happen in the future when “Putin rears his ugly head” and of course that “narrow maritime border” which always bestows invaluable foreigh policy credentials upon everyone. Then of course the proximity of Canada to Alaska. If one thought her impeccable eloquence on foreign affairs couldn’t be exceeded well then the next instalment of hiccups and blunders was sure to solidify any doubt. Asked for another example of how McCain has led the way for more oversight. A jolly Palin responded “I think the example you just sighted…that’s paramount”. Well I suppose that’s
a very true statement. It’s very difﬁcult to argue with. “I’ll try to ﬁnd ya some, and I’ll bring them to ya”. Thus, illustrating that Sarah Palin did not know of or have any other examples of regulation supported by John McCain. Just when things were starting to level off and the Media were setteling into the McCain Palin ticket, Sarah Palin repeatedly attacked Obama from the stump charging him with associating with Bill Ayres , a former bomb-setting, anti-war radical from the 1960s and ‘70s. Accusing Obama of and running a radical ‘education’ foundation” in Chicago with Ayres and “palling around with him”. Palin has come under heavy criticism in the media and from Republicans and Democrats alike for falsifying and misleading the populace with these smears. Factcheck.org and many similar organizations aimed at reducing the level of deception and confusion in U.S. politics have cited these claims as groundless and falsi-
ﬁed. The most recent controversy surrounding Palin surrounds a legislative inquiry which investigated the dismissal of the Alaskan Public Safety Commissioner Walter Monegan, who alleged to have lost his job because he resisted pressure to ﬁre a state trooper involved in a bitter divorce and custody battle with the governor’s sister. The inquiry concluded that Palin unlawfully abused her power as governor of Alaska by trying to have her former brother-inlaw ﬁred as a state trooper. This race will undoubtedly throw up a plethora of surprises in the very near future. Some things, however, will be impervious to change. John McCain will still be an old man with a short fuse. Barrack Obama will still be charged with being a crypto Muslim worshiper and terrorist. Joe Biden will never stop talking and Sarah Palin will continue to make us laugh and snigger all the way through it.
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
A hidden history of UCD Part two: Richview’s Masonic Past
■ Somewhere in Fagan’s, a Bass lies unattended
The diary of a
a t s i n o i s s e c e R
It’s budget time, and your recessionista has compiled an altogether more helpful list than the cutback style one that will be dumped on you today. So in the diary this week is the ultimate budget guide, in the guise of a humble yet helpful hymn.
Ditch the brand, the Calvin Klein Obsession Opt instead for Aldi Eau de Recession Wash your hair in the UCD lake And then head back for your hot date Perhaps a little bit of that roasted duck Is all you need for the elusive… luck. Steal all the college toilet paper, Then ambush the cleaning lady later, Rob all 911’s knives and forks And snatch the grub of a Dramsoc Dork. Bertie is crying in Fagan’s over a Bass, And Cowen only has a ﬁfty to wipe his cazz, Please hold back your crying sobs, The Samaritans will give you a job, Live your night time in the pitch black, What fun scenes will ensue in your ﬂat, Even the academics no longer have biscuits and tea, But slimming waist lines should be greeted with glee, Remember all the things you can get for a fag? A sex life, a reputation, and even a drag, Remember being little and eating morning gloop? Now load up with the best in Tesco value soup
Bertie is crying in Fagans over a Bass, And Cowen only has a ﬁfty to wipe his cazz Ugg boots will now become a rare treat, So just kill a sheep and wrap it round your feet, Hang out used paper towels to dry on the line, And don’t buy deodorant, buy needles of pine, If you’re still in ﬁnancial desperation, Move your debt pile on to another nation, Don’t lend, don’t spend, and learn to mend, Leave your cash card behind and mug your friend, Bertie stays ordinary with a bass, Cowen stays lodged up the cazz, Call up your Gran, she always has a plan, And ten million tins, in black liner bins, Make friends with security in UCD, They eat freshers for dinner (fresh as can be), Did you wonder why they are called Pulse security? They like their meat raw, so raw it still beats, Ferment your own alcohol instead, To save on washing and get off your head, And services will never know, Cause your bottle has a fairy liquid glow, Bertie’s Bass lies all alone Cowens Cazz has its own budgetary phone
The origins and history of Freemasonry are clouded in uncertainty. It is thought to have arisen from English and Scottish guilds of practicing stonemasons and cathedral builders in the Middle Ages. Others have speculated that the order descended from the Knights Templar. For decades its history has been clouded by secrecy and conspiracy theories. It has been thought and alleged that the group was cult like or held to a global conspiracy of trying to control government and now thanks to movies such as “National Treasure” of possibly protecting the Holy Grail. Historical Irish ﬁgures such as Daniel O’Connell and Oscar Wilde were also alleged to be members of the ancient society. Indeed, Ireland and UCD in particular have a rich Masonic history. Richview Lodge in Clonskeagh, where the UCD School of Architecture is now based, was built in 1790 by the Powell Family. In 1885 it was bought by the Freemasons of Ireland and developed into a Masonic Boys’ School, which only closed its doors in 1980. Various freemasonry symbols can still be seen in and around the building today. The school, which moved from Adelaide Hall because of overcrowding, was founded to “provide for the education and maintenance of the sons of deceased members of the Masonic Order”. Sir Thomas Drew extended the school in the late 1880s. Drew was one of the most distinguished Irish architects of the 19th century. He was responsible for designing the Ulster Bank on Dame Street, Rathmines Town Hall, the Trinity College Graduate’s Building and St. Anne’s Cathedral in Belfast. A trawl of The Irish Times archive showcases dozens of articles from the late 1800s regarding the annual “Masonic Orphan Boys School Sports” days, which became an extremely important date on the Irish sports calendar. The 1890 sports day boasts of “military bands and day light ﬁreworks” - tickets were only a shilling each with Family Tickets (admitting three) on sale for only two shilling “provided they (were) applied for at the Freemasons Hall on Molesworth Street”. In 1891, there were over two-dozen different competitions including a “one mile walking race”, “throwing the cricket ball” and a “sock race”. A Clay Pigeon Tournament was held in 1893 to raise funds for the school, the following year The Band of the Sherwood Foresters (Derbyshire Regiment) played “a select programme” on the grounds. The school was in the news in 1904 when Prince Arthur, Duke of Connaught (Queen Victoria’s son) and his wife Princess Louise of Prussia visited the school. The
1968 party - Thewere Yeargiven of the Barricades. royal a tour of the 1,000 students are the arrested Wargrounds, inspected ninetyinboys saw afterin anti-state protests. Thetea. Unienrolled the school and had versity Arthur of Rome is occupied two Prince was himself a for Freeweeks after anti-war demonstrations. mason and was elected Grand MasThree students killedLodge in Brazil ter of the UnitedareGrand of during marches against thethe military England thirty seven times, last junta. he Eighty-six people are injured when was eighty-nine. in In the1928, anti-war ‘Battle built of Grosvenor the school “an inin hall” London. Martin of Luther ﬁSquare’ rmary and in memory the King’s ofassassination sparks riots pupils the school who fought andin 118 inAmerican cities.War. In InChicago, died the First World 1944, and protesters clash apolice memorial pavilion (at the for costeight of days outside Democratic Na£820) was builtthe in memory of Mr. tional Moore, Convention. Students James who had been take head-on Soviet tanks in Prague. France1896sees a master of the school from social revolution over tenscimil1940. In 1969, a with new £60,000 lion workers and students strike. ence block was added to theonschool In UCD, we the spark moveand named thesee ‘Raymond F. of Brooke ment. Memorial Building’ honouring the purchased eld House lateUCD Deputy GrandBelﬁ Master of thein December 1933 and between 1948 Grand Lodge of Ireland. adjoiningorgapropand 1958 a number Freemasonry is aoffraternal erties with theopen interest of creating nization, only to men of legal a newwho campus Earlsfort Terrace were age believe in a “supreme beacquired. This was mainly to reduce ing”. theThe chronic existent Grandover-crowding Lodge of Ireland is in Earlsfort Terrace. UCD’s the second oldest in the worldstudent with population had expanded from little the ﬁrst evidence of its existence over 2,000 to over 10,000 coming fromina1939 mention in the Dub-in lin Weekly Journal in 1725. In the
Most today, of thesethere were are in the half321969. counties 700 completed Earlsfort building, Masonic lodges made Terrace up of 35,000 which even had it been ﬁnished, was freemasons. only forthe 1,000 students. The intended symbol of crossed comas 1963, concerns were pass As andearly set-square is the most easover thesymbol planning the move ilyraised identiﬁ able of of Freemato Belﬁ The Irish Times wrote sonry. Theeld. compass is supposed to that “thespirituality prospect ofand ﬁnding lodging represent divinity forHeaven, studentswhile (was)the causing moreisand i.e. set-square more concern ...The mortality area is notand one in supposed to embody Earth. Together, which studentsi.e. will easily ﬁnd places impermanence they embody of to allegedly stay, since most the of union the houses earth the heavens, of matter therewith are designed as family homes.’’ and mind. The Eye went of Providence However building ahead and in (which sits between thethe compass 1964 Science became ﬁrst facand ultyset-square) to relocaterepresents to Belﬁeld.the TheallIrish seeing of God. their new facilities Timeseye described 1980, UCD bought Richview asIn“severely functional” with “clean Lodge and its estate of 17.4 planning, spaciousness and acres a clever for £2.1million. was provided use of colour, This relieving the eye of bymonotony”. the government in consideration of the college’s to vacate Early 1965agreement saw U.C.D. President part the Merrion Street Building. Dr.ofJeremiah Hogan speaking at the Richview Lodge and its admitted surround-that conferring of degrees ing building nowofaccommodates thethe “the transfer Arts would be UCD School Architecture, Landcentral and of most complex operation” scape andrelocation. Civil Engineering. of the According to the Irish Times UCD Correspondent the newMcGrath restaurant in the Science buildSam ing in Belﬁeld was proving “insufﬁ-
Student Assistance Fund Applications are now being accepted for the Student Assistance Fund. Application forms are available for download from the web. Please note that this fund is means tested and all applications must be submitted to: Ann Oâ€™Hanlon, Student Advisor, School of Computer Science and Informatics, Health Science Centre, BelďŹ eld Only Fully completed forms, together with relevant supporting documentation will be considered Closing date: 12 Noon, Friday 31st October
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
Pop Tarts – a great friend to many a student, especially those living away from home for the ﬁrst time and have trouble using any cooking appliace apart from the toaster. Whether you’re looking for a tasty breakfast, a quick snack, or an unhealthy dinner, Pop Tarts are the answer to all your troubles and is available in two tasty ﬂavours, chocotastic and strawberry sensation, in all good supermarkets. Pop Tarts are a handy meal, because they’re tasty, quick to make, ﬁll your tummy, and not much cleaning up is required afterwards, and on a nutritional scale, they’re healthier than a Big Mac with extra grease. However, like all things that are good, there is a downside... Studies have proven that Pop Tarts are one of the most dangerous types of food ever to
have been manufactured. Emergency Rooms nationwide have conﬁrmed that many burn victims are submitted after they’ve been scorched by red hot pop tarts. The pastries themselves are hot enough once out of the toaster and can cause discomfort, but the tasty jam and chocolate ﬁllings will scorch any unsuspecting victim like lava, fresh from the volcano, causing excruciating pain and in severe cases utter agony. A Pop Tart burn will cause any victim to have a certain distaste for the break-
fast treat, until the time comes that their scarring is healed and then they will always return to the steaming snacks after the short healing period, if not slightly more cautiously. Ultimately Pop Tarts are great, but Kelloggs would be wise to add a warning stating extreme levels of hotness on the box, in clear sight, for those people stupid enough to burn themselves on the ﬁlling.
WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO... PINKY AND THE BRAIN Pinky and the Brain ﬁrst attempted to take over the world back in 1993, with very little success. For six years, Brain and Pinky resided in a cage at Acme labs, where they were used for laboratory testing. In 1998, after Acme labs burned to the ground, the devious duo suddenly found themselves on the streets, but not used to being homeless, the mice found a home for themselves in a local pet shop, where they lived for several months, until accidentally sold to a little girl named Elmyra, while hiding in a turtle. Their time with Elmyra was short
lived as it was difﬁcult for Brain to devise plans of world takeover with Elmyra on the scene, so the two made a run for it, stowed away on an airplane, and arrived in Dublin, in late 1999. The two have been in Ireland for nine years, but in all their time here have only seen the UCD Science building as the bag they stowed away in on that fateful ﬂight, belonged to none other than a UCD lecturer. Brain and Pinky continue to attempt taking over the world, but with little success. They spend the majority of their time being ignored by Science students, who are too busy to pay any attention to them, and admired by the occasional Arts student lucky enough to cross their paths.
VOLUME XXII ISSUE III
ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO SATIRISE - ONLY 47P!
NOEL GALLAGHER “IT’S TRUE, CLIFF RICHARD IS MY HERO” PAGE 3 This week GOLDEN PARACHUTES ‘UNRELIABLE’ SAY SCIENTISTS SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH - EXPERTS SAY PANDA MATING FAILS - VET TAKES OVER SPACE IS STILL A HIGH PRIORITY, DECLARE NASA TRAVELLER LEADER TO RESIGN SAYING ‘IT’S TIME TO MOVE ON’
Weather DRY OR WET TODAY, DARK TONIGHT
Se-X Factor RTÉ are set to launch a new reality TV competiton after realising that You’re a Star and Celebrity Jigs and Reels were absolutely dreadful and nobody ever watched them. An RTÉ spokesperson says, “We’ve had to come to terms with the fact that Irish viewers couldn’t give a rat’s ass about singers and dancers, so we came up with the idea for Se-X Factor, and we’re hoping to get started on auditions before Christmas.” Se-X Factor will follow the same format of ITV’s X Factor, in which there’ll be open auditions, followed by a boot camp, before contestants are split into four seperate categories and sent on to the live shows with the hopes of becoming Ireland’s number one pornstar. RTÉ revealed that Ryan Tubridy, Rodge O’Lepracy, Twink and Síle Seoighe will make up the judging panel for Ireland’s sexiest show since Glenroe. Tubridy reveals that he is quite
happy to be involved in the series, “I really think there’s a lot of potential out there in Ireland in regards to the sex industry and we’re hoping to get a lot of people turning up to the auditions. The producers have already told me that I’ll be the judge for females between the ages of 18 and 30. Síle will be mentor to the groups, Twink will be looking after the over 30’s, and Rodge will be mentoring males between the ages of 18 and 30, which I don’t think he’s particularly happy about, but then again when is he ever happy.” The Turbine conducted a poll amongst UCD students to ﬁnd out how much interest people would have in the new show and shockingly 86% of students said they’d be going along to audition and 14% said they would watch the show, but as they are already professional actors and actresses in the porn industry, they are not eligible to audition.
Students must wait for STI’s A spokesperson for the UCD STI Clinic, located in between the male and female toilets in the student bar, has conﬁrmed that the number of students on the STI waiting list has risen rapidly in recent weeks and due to staff cutbacks students may have to wait up to six weeks before getting the STI of their choice, and students wishing to obtain gonorrhea may have to wait as long as ﬁfteen weeks, due to its increasing popularity. UCD’s STI Clinic has been Ireland’s number one STI distributor for the last 97 years, but with the waiting list being so long, students may begin going elsewhere for their STIs. “I really wanted to give my girlfriend pubic lice for her birthday, but she’ll be twenty in three weeks time, so I can’t wait six weeks to get it myself. It has gotten to the stage, that I’m consider-
ing heading over to Trinity to catch crabs the old-fashioned way,” says third year science student, Anton Sharpe. UCD is well known for its high quality STIs and some students are wary about going elsewhere, but because of the waiting list in UCD and with deals such as ‘buy genital herpes and get syphillis absolutely free’ in the DCU STI Clinic, students feel that the bus journey north of the Liffey may actually be worth it. First year Arts student Diana Thrush says, “My sister got chlamydia when she was in ﬁrst year and she says it was the best thing she ever did in college, but DCU are doing great deals at the moment and there’s no wait, so I’m considering heading there.” Student’s Union Welfare Of-
ﬁcer, Conor Fingleton, expresses his disappointment on the matter, “I’m very disappointed that it has gotten to the stage that students feel the need to leave Belﬁeld to get their STI’s and hopefully we’ll be able to sort the problem out soon.” Fingleton’s colleague Dan O’Neill, Student’s Union Campaigns and Communications Ofﬁcer, has promised to launch a campaign, to ensure that the waiting list be abolished and that students get their STI’s without delay, under the slogan, ‘What do we want? STI’s. When do we want them? Now.’
College Tribune e | October 14th 2008
Going off the rails Jason Timmins details the ultimate inter-railing guide so you do something unprecedented, and get prepared early They say that travel broadens the mind. Inter-railing is of course the thing you do during your student days, it’s how to see the world (well Europe at least) and experience exotic drinks from far distant lands. There are two main categories of inter-railer. The ﬁrst is the somewhat cultured version. They’ll be seen queuing up to visit local museums etc… the second type are those who travel in order to experience hangovers in four different time zones. Probably the best option to go for is a healthy balance of the two whereby you can expand on your knowledge of other cultures and at the same time party the night away in some of Europe’s ﬁnest capitals.
Tips of Travel So, tips of travel. First, you should have some idea of the cities and countries that you’re planning to visit. Also, it is advisable to check on the inter-rail website that your planned journey is possible, both geographically and in the time you have allocated. For example travelling from Stockholm straight to Athens probably won’t happen so planning is essential! What could be worse than arriving in the middle of Europe and not knowing where you’re going or how you have to get there. A good idea is to book your ﬂight home before you leave Ireland. This will give you a ﬁnal destination point and a time frame to work the rest of your journey into. It will also save you the embarrassing situation of having to beg on the side of the street or sell your body in order to get enough change to phone your parents and ask for a “loan” to purchase a ticket home. No amount of novelty genitalia key rings from Amsterdam will make it up to your parents if you’ve drank yourself through twelve countries, ran out of money, and ended up somewhere in Serbia trying to ﬁnd a way home. Anyway, the inter-rail website will help you with all the initial stages of your journey, those details are best left to yourself.
Must-visit locations The ﬁrst port of call could probably be the great city of Amsterdam. This is one of those must see places and there’s no better time to go than when you’re young and slumming it. Amsterdam has a reputation for being a somewhat sleazy sex ridden place (sounds like the perfect place to start your trip?) but af-
ter three trips I consider it one of the gems of Europe. Truly, it is an amazing cosmopolitan, multicultural all round remarkable city. The city has been given the nickname ‘the Venice of the north’ and it is undoubtedly well deserved. This metropolis has all the old world charm of the northern European cities with all the spice liveliness and glamour of our wonderfully decadent western culture, not to mention the canals. It’s absolutely full of places to see and things to do. Every corner has a remarkable view and every street its own history. The other great thing about Amsterdam is that it’s so easy too navigate your way around. One must-see sight In Amsterdam is of course the Anne Frank house. This is the actual location of the secret annex where Anne, her family and a number of others hid from the Nazis who had taken over Holland. Unfortunately Anne did not live to see the end of the war as she had so longed to, but her diary and the house did survive. Again this is one of those places that just get over run by tourists and so do try to get there early, the Van Gogh museum along with the Reijks museum are also very interesting. One more highly unusual museum: The sex museum is really cheap and a great laugh, well worth a visit. On the topic of sex you might want to know about that famous red light district. Well it really only consist of two streets which run at either side of one of the canals. Cannabis is legal in Holland and if you’re looking for some all you need do is head to a coffee shop and work away. However, this summer a smoking ban was introduced into Holland and so you have the odd situation of being permitted by law to smoke pure weed inside but not hash or weed mixed with tobacco. You can however ﬁnd a few places still that have a separate room where you may smoke to your hearts content.
Paris Paris: the city of love. It is an enchanting place but the ﬁrst thing you need to do is get to grips with the metro system because the city is huge. Your best memories may well be of the Eiffel tower at night and the markets along the river on the way to the Louvre which in itself is pretty neat. The Mona Lisa is one of those paintings you can boast about seeing but it will take you some time to actually get close to. It is doubtful you could
■ Vienna see the entire Louvre in a day so be picky when choosing what you want to see. Paris has a good nightlife and there are bars and clubs to suit you no matter what your tastes may be.
Vienna Vienna is the next notable city I’ll cover although I stayed in Zurich along the way. It was Sunday when we arrived in Zürich and everything was closed, so if this happens to you, you will spend a day drinking at the only bar open, the Oliver Twist and a night spent in the only club- one of Zurich’s gay bars. Here, you need to change money so be aware; you will spend more than you think. It is strange to ﬁnd such a huge and sprawling city in such a small country. But when you realise that it was once the capital of a large and expansive empire it all makes sense. Vienna has so much to experience that you can feel totally exhausted after a day or two so best give yourself some time here if you intend to really see the place. The most important thing to know here is that even in July it’s just like Ireland and may rain at anytime so have an umbrella handy. Eating out is cheap in Vienna and so are clothes, drinks
and cigarettes so go wild. Also unlike Amsterdam and Paris you can smoke indoors so the rain doesn’t affect the smokers all that much. The city has a well-developed sub-way system but make sure you don’t forget your ticket, as it’s a 70 euro on the spot ﬁne. One of the main sights in Vienna is the Hoffburg palace but you’ll need a few hours to see it properly. The zoo is just outside the city (you can get a train there) and is also worth a visit. All in al, Austria is a lovely country, the people are nice and the cakes are even nicer. Try out some beers while you’re there and some of the lovely Austrian food. The city is good to go out in but can be difﬁcult to get around at night and also extremely easy to get lost in so head to a tourist ofﬁce and grab a map as early as you can.
Venice If you are going to have a last stop, make it Venice. If Carlsberg made cities they would have built Venice. The only major downside to this place is the lack of nightlife. Most of the bars are around the piazza Santa Margarita. The only nightclub is the Piccolo Mundi that lies down one of the many back alleys. The city is one of the most
beautiful on earth and beautiful th fact that there are no cars the an anywhere in the city which is b built on a series of islands makes it the perfect peaceful place to rrelax and watch the world go by aas you sip an espresso. The most o obvious place to see is of course th the world famous Saint Mark’s S Square. It can be extremely p packed and you should watch out ffor pickpockets during the busy sseason. All around the city you’ll ﬁnd great markets and don’t be aafraid to haggle about the price. A Although a ride on a gondola m may seem very romantic it will ccost you. If you’re staying on the m mainland make sure you know what time the last boat leaves at or you may have to pay through the roof for a water taxi. From the Venice of the north to the real thing, all that can be surmised is that inter-railing is one of the most rewarding experiences. Personally, it was the best trip I’ve ever had and I’m getting ready to do it all over again.
Last word The only last bit of advice I have is to bring a book. The train journeys can be long unless you stop at some of the minor towns and cities along the way, so unless you want three hours of I spy with the person next to bring something along to keep you from being bored or alternatively you could get most of your sleep while on the train. That leaves more time to party when you get off. Also, check at the train station before you get on a train to make sure you don’t need to book a seat and the time of the next train you need to get. Always keep your passport with you, this is very important. Make sure you have enough money and try not to overspend in your ﬁrst city leaving you having to live off dry bread for the last part of the trip. Get planning now, and enjoy.
FIGHT FEES In 2002 - 2003 we won the battle against fees â€“ Now we must win the war!!!
UCDSU along with USI will be organising a massive demo in the city centre at 1:30 pm on Wednesday 22nd of October. Busses will be leaving from the Student Centre at 12:30 Makie sure you are there. This is you one chance to help your fellow students.
Talk 5: Stressed Out? How to help a Friend. The Rendezvous (Downstairs in Main Restaurant) Wednesday 1pm
Don't forget, if you want to give or receive grinds check out UCDSU's Grindsfile at UCDSU.IE/ grindsfile.
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
Pete Mahon Page 22
Superleague It’s still back, and it’s still as ugly as ever
DOWN THE LINE
Fighting a righteous relegation While global ﬁnances go to pot, money is still being ploughed into the Premiership. Eoghan Brophy bemoans the outrageous overspending of certain clubs, while the worlds oldest club team ﬂounder precariously above bankruptcy… The global credit crunch is affecting businesses everywhere. Governments are under pressure in dealing with it. It is a concern for everyone... well, almost everyone. Billions are still coming into the English Premier League. On the 13th of September, Micheal Walker reported in the Irish Times about the new world order, rising in the Eastlands, on the day that Manchester City, with their recent acquisition of Robinho played against the riches of Chelski. On the very same day in Lancashire Accrington Stanley were playing host to Notts County. Micheal Walker wrote, “Notts County are the world’s oldest league club, but who’s watching?” Is it just me or does anyone else ﬁnd that a little disappointing? After 9 games in League 2, the Magpies ﬁnd themselves in 12th position but they are lucky to be there at all. In September 2003 the club were in serious ﬁnancial trouble and were threatened with expulsion from the league and the world’s oldest club would have been no more. Ironically it was a League Cup tie against the Russian Revolution of Chelsea that raised signiﬁcant funds for County. The Chelsea supporters showed some true football spirit and turned out in their numbers for the game to ensure a packed Stamford Bridge.
With 45% of the gate receipts going to the then cash-strapped club, this went a long way to ensuring their survival. The Chelsea players also donated their shirts from the game to go up for auction. Thankfully the Magpies are still alive and kicking. Notts County were founded in 1862 and have been playing out of Meadow Lane in Nottingham since 1910. The ground has a capacity near 20,000 which can remind people of where the club once were. It was only in 19911992 that they were in the old Division 1. Now, they are in the lowest tier of English League football and attract attendances of closer to 4,000. Their main success came way back in 1894 when they won the FA Cup for the one and only time. Sam Allardyce and Neil Warnock rank among some of their former managers with Ireland and Espanyol right back Steve Finnan an Irish link to their former players. Jamie Clapham, the former Ipswich Town defender and Gavin Strachan, son of Celtic manager Gordon are two of their more familiar names playing with County currently. The Magpies black and white striped shirts are infamous but not from Notts County. The Italian giants of Juventus have worn black and white stripes since
1903. And where did they get their jerseys from? Juventus were looking for a new set of jerseys and Englishman John Savage had a friend in Nottingham who sent over a set of Notts County jerseys. And since then Juve have worn the same colour strips as the Magpies. But how can one club with so much history be ignored by the big-time investors and the average football fan, while vastly overpaid players are plying their trade in the English top ﬂight with the Clubs charging fans exuberant entrance fees which is now pricing the old “working class” football fan out of going to the games. It is now a time for Roy Keane’s “Prawn sandwich brigade.” Billionaires are ploughing their money into these teams just for fun it seems. Chelsea are Roman’s play thing which he watches over like a child amused at the strange goings on around him. The Premier League looks like a bubble ready to burst. What would happen if Sky had some ﬁnancial troubles and couldn’t afford to pay the millions of pounds they currently give to the coffers of the top ﬂight clubs? In this time of ﬁnancial uncertainty and global recession that is not completely unlikely. But please, think of the players. What would Ronaldo do without his £100,000+ a week? Somehow I think he’ll manage.
Other clubs have experienced ﬁnancial difﬁculties with Leeds United’s collapse one of the most famous of recent times. Luton and Bournmouth are currently on -18 and -7 points respectively in League Two and ﬁnancial troubles are rife here in the domestic game with only a small few of the 22 clubs in the League of Ireland not to have experienced difﬁculties. One of those few happens to be UCD. Like Notts County, the Students are unique in their own way. The club was found in 1895 and was elected to the league under the inﬂuential “The Doc,” Tony O’ Neill. They are the only University club in Western Europe to have a team in the top division of their national league. That may end this season but there is still some way to go. And yet, with the history and the magnitude of UCD’s achievements head down to Belﬁeld Bowl on a Friday night and watch them play. More than likely you will be able to count the home supporters on one hand, maybe two if there is free beer on offer after the game. There is free admission for students to the bowl. UCD have always tried to play football and under Pete Mahon they are no different. Their players have
their wages paid. They have run the club within their budget and yet it is likely they will suffer the fate of relegation because other clubs have overspent. What could UCD achieve if the players in the Superleague decided to turn up to watch the Student’s play every second Friday? There is an awful lot of money coming into football nowadays. Unfortunately it is going to the wrong clubs. 1404 people were watching the match between Accrington Stanley and Notts County. It ﬁnished 1-1. Does everyone still not care?
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
A really Long long way to Tipperary Ahead of Ireland’s World Cup Group 8 qualifying game with Cyprus on Wednesday, Colman Hanley caught up with Shane Long to ﬁnd out more about the Reading star and to get his view of Ireland’s opponents. Giovanni Trapattoni’s Irish side face Cyprus on Wednesday in what is a must win game. Ireland have four points so far thanks to a 2-1 win in Mainz over Georgia and a 0-0 draw in Montenegro which could prove to be a very valuable point gained. Ireland’s next three ﬁxtures in Group Eight are all in Croke Park, so if qualiﬁcation to South Africa in 2010 is to be achieved, nine points has to be the target. This opinion was backed up by Reading and Irish international, Shane Long. “Four points from six against Georgia and Montenegro was great. I mean if we had been offered that before the games, we’d have taken that. We want to be in South Africa, and in order to get there, we’ve got to win our home games. That has to start on Wednesday against Cyprus”. However despite Long’s conﬁdence, he also reasoned that Cyprus would be no pushovers for ‘The Boys in Green’. Indeed, it’s nearly a year ago to the day since the 1-1 draw at home to Cyprus in Croke Park, since the jeer’s that rang aloud around Croke Park and since the Staunton era ended. It’s two years ago since Ireland’s embarrassing 5-2 defeat in Nicosia. “Cyprus are a good team, they’re deﬁnitely underestimated by many and they don’t get the respect they deserve. They proved that by nearly getting a result against Italy last month. We should also know better than anyone what Cyprus are capable of, so make no mistake about it, we’ll be trying to put that right”. From an early age, it seemed destined that Shane Long would play in Croke Park, but few predicted that it would be representing the national soccer team. Long was born along the Tipperary and Kilkenny border in Gortnahoe, County Tipperary. It’s therefore no surprise that living near two counties with such a strong afﬁnity of GAA and hurling, he grew up playing both Gaelic football and hurling. However Long maintained an interest in soccer, playing with local side St. Kevin’s. Having a background in the GAA has worked for past Irish Internationals. Kevin Moran won two All-Ireland senior football championships with Dublin before playing with Manchester United. Niall Quinn played both hurling and Gaelic football for Dublin before joining Arsenal. However such feats are simply not possible in the professional era of sport and Long would eventually have to choose either GAA or soccer. Long made the breakthrough into both the Tipperary All-Ireland Minor hurling and Gaelic football panel in 2003. He caught the eye of many experts by featuring in two Minor hurling semi-ﬁnal’s in Croke Park. The Gortnahoe man was so highly regarded that he was expected to make the breakthrough to the Premier County’s senior hurling side. Long competed with
and outshined some of today’s hurling stars such as Shane O’Neill and Cathal Naughton (both Cork), Kerrill Wade of Galway, and Ritchie Hogan of Kilkenny, as well as Cork Gaelic footballers such as John Hayes, Daniel Goulding and Michael Shields. While he also starred alongside current senior hurlers Darragh Egan and James Woodlock. Long looked destined to be a dual star for Tipperary and Eoin Kelly’s mantle as star Tipperary hurler looked to be in threat. However despite his obvious love of the sliotar, Long’s ability on the soccer pitch was to prevail. After he had joined St. Kevin’s, Long attracted the attention of football scouts. “The ﬁrst game I played in front of scouts, I played one of the worst games of my life! But luckily on the second occasion, I did enough to impress Pat Dolan when he came down to see me play. The game was played in ﬁerce rain and I can clearly remember Pat trying to watch the game whilst also standing under a tree to stay out of the rain!” After turning up at the game after a few minutes , not only did Dolan probably stay dry under the tree but he arrived just in time to see Long surge through the opposition from deep and score a great goal from over twenty yards out. After that performance, Long was lured to play at Turner’s Cross for Cork City. “It was deﬁnitely a hard decision to stop playing both hurling and Gaelic football, but Pat Dolan sold the idea of playing for Cork City to me. Obviously he has done so much for Irish football, so it was hard to say no to him. He was really good to me
when I joined Cork and still is really good to me to this day”. Long joined Cork City in July of 2004 but only stayed at the Leeside club till June 2005. On a scouting trip to Ireland, Reading manager Steve Coppell came over to have a look at Kevin Doyle while also later admitting to coming over to have a few pints of Guinness. Coppell would go on to sign Doyle for a nominal fee, but the inclusion of Long in the transfer surprised many as he had only really featured at U-21 level for Cork. But Coppell has been shown to this day to have probably made the best transfer deal of his life in signing Doyle and Long. vLong joined Reading as an 18 year old and initially was put into the Reading U-18 side. For most young Irish footballers moving to England, the settling in process is usu-
ally the thing that prevents players having a successful career as they quickly become homesick. But settling into a big city like London was made easier for Long as his mother moved over to Reading with him. She still lives with him now along with his girlfriend and Long is clearly very appreciative of her presence. “Yeah my mam was great. She moved over with me and helped me settle in. She still is living with me so it’s great that I can still get the homecooked meals!” Long appears to be so attached to his mother that he even admitted that when she missed a recent away trip to Wolves, he found it to be a strange experience knowing that she wasn’t at the game! Long clearly isn’t one of the money driven, fame wanting footballers that we sadly see on our television screens every week. Having settled in quickly at Reading, he was promoted to the reserves. By Christmas Long made a goalscoring senior debut. The dramatic injury-time equaliser at Derby County made Long an immediate fans favourite and he appeared fourteen more times for the senior team, scoring two more goals. It was a record breaking season for Reading as they won promotion by winning the Championship and recorded a best ever points tally of 106. Long ﬁrmly established himself as a senior squad member in the 06/07 season, a year which proved again to be very successful season for both Reading and Long. Reading easily consolidated their Premiership status while Long won many accolades. In Febru-
ary 2007, with fellow Reading teammate Kevin Doyle injured for a qualifying game in San Marino, Long stepped in to make his international debut. The game is generally remembered for almost being an embarrassing draw for Ireland (only for a late Stephen Ireland winning goal), but for Long it is a treasured memory and a game which he will always remember. A month later and Long made history with his appearance for Ireland against Slovakia as he became the ﬁrst person to have played both international football and hurling in Croke Park. In May 2007 Long scored his ﬁrst international goal against Bolivia in May and he added two further goals versus Denmark in August. To top things off, Long ended the 2007 year as the Football Association of Ireland ‘Young Player of the Year’. However football is a funny old game and last year was a tough year for Reading. Despite starting the campaign with a 0-0 away draw to eventual champions Manchester United, Reading were narrowly relegated on goal difference by Fulham. Relegation was a bitter pill to swallow for Long and his team-mates. The club saw senior ﬁgures such as Nicky Shorey, Dave Kitson, and Ibrahima Sonko leave over the summer but despite this Reading boss Coppell moved to sign two more Irish strikers. By signing Noel Hunt from Dundee United and Dave Mooney from Cork City, Coppell mirrored the double Irish signing of Long and Doyle from the 3 years ago. Despite the added pressure for places, Long, who has eight Irish caps so far, sees the presence of the newcomers as a positive. “It’s great to have more Irish lads around to add to myself, Kevin Doyle and Stephen Hunt. A few other people may be able to understand my accent now! But seriously though, we need good players around like Noel and Dave if we want to get promoted and ﬁngers-crossed we will”. Reading lie in third place in the Championship, and are only three points behind leaders Birmingham City and boast a 100% home record. Therefore things are looking for the Royals. The Tipperary man notched his ﬁrst goal of the season and boss Coppell was quick to praise Long for his athleticism and attitude. “Shane has been working hard to get into the team. Noel (Hunt) edged him out but I know he’s got a programme to get back in.” It is no wonder to see why Long appears to be such a popular ﬁgure amongst players, coaches and ofﬁcials of both Reading and Ireland. He still at heart remains the young kid from Gortnahoe in Co. Tipperary who just wants to go out and play sport. With his eagerness and determination, it may prove to be not such a ‘long’ time till we see the Gortnahoe man in the premiership and at the 2010 World Cup in South Africa.
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
UCD snatch last gasp point ■ Eoghan Brophy ■ Off the shortlist: Mullins
Not Mullins’ over the Dublin job ■ Jordan Daly Brian Mullins will not be the next Dublin football manager, Pat Gilroy having been appointed the top man for Dublin last Thursday. The bookies’ former favourite had been lined up for the position but he has turned down the chance to take over from Paul Caffrey in the biggest job in football management. The UCD director of sport had been rumoured to be the next Dublin Manager in the last few weeks, with many believing his new position was a sure thing. However the four-time All-Ireland winner has shrugged off approaches from some of the most high proﬁle ﬁgures in Dublin GAA. Kevin Heffernan and Pat O’Neill were appointed as part of the sub committee for selecting and this made Mullins a favourite, but he has remained publicly silent since the job opportunity arose back in August. The Dublin county Board refused to comment on selection details but Mullins’ club, St Vincent’s, and the Dublin County Board say he has no plans of taking on the position due to his work commitments in UCD and his position as chairman of St.Vincents. Four years ago, Mullins was on the verge of accepting the job but couldn’t reach an agreement with the county board over a number of matters, mainly his demand for a media team, and after this Caffrey became manager. Now, it would seem talks never made it to that stage and Pat Gilroy though young for the job has been conﬁdently appointed instead.
Every year UCD are tipped to go down. And yet, they seem to manage to survive. This year the same stories were told at the start of the season and as usual with only 4 games remaining, they are still hanging on, but only just. After the 1-1 draw with Shamrock Rovers on Friday, the Students are 4 points behind Finn Harps and safety and next week’s game against Cobh Ramblers could very well be the game that determines the look of the table come the 14th of November. Brian Shortall’s goal typiﬁed that determination they need to stay up. From Brian King’s free, captain, Conor Kenna knocked the ball on and after Rovers failed to clear their lines it dropped to Shortall on the 6-yard line. He turned and shot into the bottom right corner giving Hoops keeper, Robert Duggan, no chance. Both managers agreed after the game that the game should have been out of sight at half time as Rovers had a number of chances but failed to make the breakthrough. “We should have been more clinical. Padraig (Amond) could have had a hat-trick in the ﬁrst 20 minutes but we didn’t take our chances.
Shamrock Rvrs 1 1 UCD Tolka Park We have to be more ruthless.” Shamrock Rovers manager Pat Scully said after the game. “The goal we scored was fantastic but at the moment we’re giving away some sloppy goals. I don’t know how they scored that goal. It hit a few people and then lands at the guy that’s 6 yards out and sometimes that happens. “ Pete Mahon will take any sloppy goals he can get at the minute with UCD struggling to ﬁnd the net this sea-
son. Speaking after the game he was happy with the point. “Rovers should have been out of sight at half time and we were lucky to still be the game. After going a goal down it took a little bit of effort on our part to come back and get the goal. I think in end we deserved a draw. We’ll take any kind of a goal at the moment will do us. I hope we get one against Cobh next week and I hope it’s a 1-0. “ On the night that Bohs clinched the title, all eyes were focussed on the ﬁght to avoid the drop. Cobh Ramblers are the form team at the moment, following up a 1-0 win over Pat Scully’s men last week with a surprise 3-0 victory against second place St. Patrick’s Athletic at Inchicore. They will be hosting UCD
DART down UCD at the death It was heartbreak for the Marian men. Two points down in the dying moments of their second north conference league game saw them awarded two free throws. New American signing Micheal Parker stepped up with the weight of the world on his shoulders. Cries of anguish accompanied his two misses as UCD scurried back to defend. But two fouls in the last few seconds on Killester alowed Micheal Westbrooks and John Behan to sink free throws and clinch the game. John Behan, Killester point guard with more than twenty points in the game, afterwards commented on what won it for the northsiders, “We had a great second quarter, (29-10) compared to our second half where we
■ Jordan Daly came out ﬂat. In the second quarter we made a lot of shots, we are a shooting team and we just got hot. Guys came off the bench and hit big three pointers and we managed to block shots and get the ball back up the court to make baskets with no reply.” “Our team is the type where anyone can score, (and American Jim Grabowski was on ﬁre with just under twenty to his tally) I happened to be top scorer with twenty ﬁve, but we all have to pick ourselves up and play for the whole game and not just one quarter from now on.” Killester showed character under pressure to put the game away
with crucial free throws at the end “I thought Micheal Westbrooks had a big game especially under pressure at the end, but UCD Marian made had a great team effort. Gary Edge and Barry Drumm came off the bench in the second half and played really well with some huge three pointers, as well as Parker “ Micheal Parker on the exchange programme from Kingston New York played his ﬁrst home game for Marian. Coach Connor after the game sufﬁced to say they we very unlucky to be beaten. Parker was visibly dejected after, “The game could have gone either way. I totally take blame for us not ﬁnishing this game out. As point guard I
on Saturday full of conﬁdence that they can be out of the relegation zone at the end of this week. It seems unjustiﬁed that UCD could go down for running their club properly while others who have overspent will stay in the Premier Division. The FAI certainly has some questions to answer. And Pete Mahon is clearly frustrated with what has been going on. “If I had a euro for every time I’ve discussed other teams in trouble I’d be a millionaire. It’s evident for everyone to see what’s going on in the league. I don’t think its right. I’ve said it from day one. I asked questions in San Marino nearly two years ago and I was given answers but I haven’t seen the answers I was given being implemented. So we’ll wait. As I’ve said before, I’ve got every conﬁdence that the League of Ireland ofﬁcials will do their job right at the end of the season.” The FAI has to be under pressure to make the right decisions during the winter break. The fact that every team received a Premier Division licence and now 6 of them have had ﬁnancial troubles, makes you wonder how the licensing system works and it will be an interesting Winter ahead for the League of Ireland.
UCD Marian DART Killester
Sports Centre should have made those free throws at the end which would have either put us in a position to win the game or go into overtime.” “The key factor in the game, like our last game we had a second quarter slump, and we went down sixteen points in the second quarter but came back and deﬁnitely won the second half. I think if you take away that second quarter slump we won that game easily.” “The coach had us well prepared for the opposition, what they were going to do, the guys were ready and I should have just ﬁnished the game out.”
UCD Manager Pete Mahon write exclusively for the College Tribune
For Pete’s Sake We left Tolka Park with a 1-1 draw against Shamrock Rovers last Friday. Overall I was happy as it was a point gained rather than two points dropped. We didn’t play particularly well in the ﬁrst half. In fairness to Rovers, they started the game much better than we did. They were quicker to the ball, had good possession and were constantly closing us down. Ironically Rovers used the tactics we employed in our 1-0 victory over Drogheda United last week. We were on the back foot in the ﬁrst half so we were lucky to go in at the break at 0-0. We started the second half well but only ten minutes after the resumption, we gave the ball away inside our
Pete Mahon “People say these things cancel themselves out over a season. They do on me arse”
own half which you just can’t do. A wrong pass and decision was taken, and Cameroon International Joseph Ndo punished us by creating the Rovers goal. And there you had it, Rovers were one up and fully deserved their lead. We were very disappointed with the concession of that goal, especially having made a good start to the second half. But we made a couple of changes and got back into the game. On reﬂection, I think we fully deserved the equaliser on our second half performance. A 1-1 scoreline in the second half was a fair reﬂection of things, though we could easily have been two or three down from the ﬁrst half. We only had a single opportunity in that opening forty-ﬁve minutes when Brian King should have scored
from. Apart from that, we didn’t create much. The conditions didn’t suit us; instead they suited a more physical side like Rovers. While that doesn’t excuse our ineptness in the ﬁrst half, the conditions certainly played a part. The longer the game went on, the more difﬁcult it became. Indeed the second half was more mind over matter. So overall, we felt pleased to come away with a point. I have never faulted their effort over the season, as their effort cannot be faulted. Our training is good and the lads give 100% commitment every week. We just lack the ﬁnesse up front compared to most other teams, especially in the ﬁnal third of the pitch. We have a small squad of players and I feel that most of the time, we get the best out of them. So once you get that, as a
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
SUPERLEAGUE FOOTBALL’S NOT COMING HOME ■ Pic: Stephen Murray
The first rule of fight club is... Barra O Fianail looks into the recent explosion in popularity of UCD’s boxing club
The not so super-league After a very good week of strong whiskey and prostitutes, I felt it was time to take a step back from the glitz and glamour of student journalism and delve into the dark and usually (very) murky depths of Superleague. Again, I found myself relegated to report upon the happenings of Division 1 Sunday. Widely regarded by most as the most competitive of the four leagues, it plays host to some of the greats, sadly I slept it out and reported on Tina Turner v The Grumpy Old Men instead. You would think old men would quite like the aging songstress but you’d be wrong. Coming off the back of hellacious 14-1 loss last week in a game which most certainly wouldn’t have been shown before the watershed, ‘Tina gave a much better account of themselves this week, in fact they will certainly be kicking themselves.
Fiorentina Turner 3 Grumpy Old Men 3
manager, you can’t really complain. Next week’s game against Cobh Ramblers is a must win game, as is our ﬁnal game versus Galway United. Though at this stage of the season, we need points from every game. Cobh’s 3-0 win against Saint Patrick’s Athletic looked like a freak result to me and I’m sure Pats manager Johnny McDonnell must be very disappointed with that considering how well they did in Europe. After Cobh we play new league champions Bohemians. In that ﬁxture, Bohs’ players could go out to break their back to impress manager Pat Fenlon ahead of a cup ﬁnal, or just come out and not look to get injured against ‘just UCD’. But from just speaking to Pat Fenlon on coaching courses, I’m sure he won’t let them slack off. Our game against Pats is something we can hope to get something from, we’ve a good record against them, especially in Inchicore having got a scoreless draw there earlier in the season. We have to win the game in Cobh, while they will have ﬁre in
their belly from the win against Pats, while they will also think they should beat us. We’ve drawn twice with them this year in tight games with literally nothing in them. They were awarded a very questionable penalty against us down there, while our goalkeeper Matty Gregg popped up with a 90th minute equaliser in the game in the Bowl. Cobh have been given a lot of questionable penalties at home so we need a strong referee next week. In my opinion, if it’s a penalty in Cork, it’s a penalty in Dublin. The one thing that all managers talk to each other about and what we want are consistent referees, someone who is strong and who will get the big decisions right. If you get that, then there’s no issue. That can allow us to go out and play the game, give it our best shot and hopefully get the right result. We won’t ensure our safety next week or be relegated either, but it’s a game we’re capable of winning and a game we kind of have to win.
With ﬁve minutes to go they were 3-2 up, but, unable to shake off their conﬁdence woes and perhaps ﬁtness issues, the scores were levelled just prior to the ﬁnal whistle. The score-line is perhaps fair considering the game was as tight as nun’s pyjamas. This can be attributed to the fact that the game was played on the restaurant pitch and not one of the astro pitches. Why the hell is it called the restaurant pitch anyway? It would have been closer to the bar before Quinn School of Gobshites was built. I am off the opinion that it should be renamed the Superquinn Pitch or the Centra pitch. But anyway I’m rambling. Both
teams will struggle this year against the might of Olympic Real and Brazil Chester, the latter of course being a shower of arseholes, who I predict will have to duke it out this season for the title. In closing, ‘Tina scored a free-kick, it was from thirty yards and it was taken by a guy named Paddy. It gives this reporter hope that there is some skill to be derived from this so called ‘Super’league ﬁasco.
When Ireland’s three boxing heroes, Paddy Barnes, Kenny Egan, and David Sutherland, brought three Olympic medals back home to our Emerald Isle many things followed. The pride of a nation rested for a while on those three young men, the investment in the high performance team was vindicated, and the world was reminded once again that the Irish are always good for an aul’ scrap. Irish boxing success will also have inspired young people all over the country to throw on a pair of gloves and try to ﬂoat like a butterﬂy and sting like a bee. Nowhere is this more evident than in our very own university boxing club. As this student tries to get a few words in with the club’s head treasurer, he breaks off regularly to tell group after group of students that training that evening has been moved from the sports centre’s modest hall C to the Astra Hall. The club, always popular, has now burst the banks of its old home and bigger venues are needed, something its members are very pleased with. The lure of sport is of course a strange one, broken bloodied noses galore, but Tyler Durden
would tell you that if God didn’t want us to punch each other he just wouldn’t have made it so much damn fun. Not to mention its aerobic appeal in this ﬁtness-mad age of ours, students may go in with the signs of our rockstar lifestyle bulging from their belly, but a few weeks of boxing and they could be chiselled from wood, with more muscles than they now what to do with. And then, of course, there is the eternal human search for glory. Could I be the greatest? And glory is something our university club has had its fair share of. Last year, even pre-Beijing glory, was a very successful year for the club, seeing major success in national and international intervarsity tournaments but most importantly of course in dealing out an eight to two whooping to Trinity in the colours. Some things never change The club is now eager to take advantage of its in vogue status to build on this success and do even better this year, again under the guidance of the iconic ‘Tommy’, a man who has served UCD boxing since long before your correspondent could write. Boxing is a tough sport however, even with hundreds of fellow club members that ring can be a lonely place and the crowds will inevitably thin. But maybe, just maybe, when the dust settles and the shrill bell rings, there may be left standing a student who can stand on the shoulders of our Olympic giants, and take up where our heroes have left of.
Down and out Killester steal victory in dying seconds
Shane Long Exclusive interview with the Reading and Ireland star Page 21
■ Pic: Stephen Murray
Issue 3 | Volume 22 | 14th October 2008
No way through UCD succumb to Cork Con in dismal encounter
■ Ben McCormack UCD were denied their ﬁrst win in their opening home All-Ireland League match with Cork Constitution by a 60th minute drop-goal by Cork’s full-back, Dara Lyons. In a close game where defence was the overall winner, UCD failed to edge out the early league leaders, who destroyed Shannon last weekend. College will be pleased in so much as they earned a bonus point, but it was a game that could have won. College started well with width and quick ball, able to penetrate into the Cork Con half at pace. A recovered blocked kick by UCD, followed by speedy delivery across the park meant College ended with Conor Geoghegan, playing at hooker, ﬁnishing from close range off a Conor Quinn ofﬂoad. Killian Let converted to give UCD a seven nothing lead inside ten minutes. Cork were resilient though and continued to pile pressure up on the Belﬁeld Lads’ defence. Jeremy Manning, the Con out-half, looked a par-
UCD Cork Con
UCD Bowl ticular threat, passing well and ﬁnding gaps with the boot behind UCD. The fast pass of the game lead to many indiscretions, culminating in a yellow car for the College’s winger, Vasily Artemiev, for aggressive rucking. Manning coolly slotted the kick to cut the lead to four. Defence was the name of the game for College from then on, trying to protect the little lead they had. With some excellent counter rucking and heavy tackles, but the extra man began to show as Con came back again and again forcing another easy penalty opportunity for Manning, making the score 7-6 in favour of UCD ﬁfteen minutes in, and this is the way the half ﬁnished. With the hits coming big there were quite a few injuries and knocks, most notably on UCD ﬂy-half and captain Michael Hastings who had to come off with a gashing head wound,
replaced by Niall Kearns as a blood injury substitution. The line-outs were Cork Con’s all day, losing only one, while stealing a couple from UCD. Mick O’Driscoll was impressive from the start, gaining the height and speed to pluck the ball from the air while also gaining from the restart well. With 38 minutes gone of the half, Manning got a yellow card for a cynical foul. An interesting play from the resulting penalty kick bewildered many of the crowd and the Cork defence. Lett took the kick, intentionally wildy miss hitting to the right, where there was no Cork defender. However, the play ended in a failure as UCD could not get the ball from the resulting ruck. The second half saw Con change their tactics from backs to forwards, using the likes of Billy Holland and Ed Leamy to batter the UCD
defence, mainly because of Manning’s absence at ﬁrst receiver. It was only through College scrapping for every ball and forcing turnovers that Cork did not get through.
H ow ev e r, they ﬁnally caved after 20 minutes of constant pressure by Con, with Lyons slipping into the pocket to slot a dropgoal from 15 metres out to make the score 7-9 in favour of Cork. This gives a lot of credit to the UCD defence, showing that last seasons runners-up couldn’t break it. UCD tried a number of times to get back into the game but mistakes continued to plague them. Conor Quinn, who had already made a try saving
tackle, made a blistering cut through the defence before trying to ofﬂoad to Artemiev in support caused a knock on. That would prove to be the ﬁnal attack for College. With ﬁve minutes to go, Cork looked to keeping the ball up the jersey and grinding out the win. Con’s srum-half David O’Leary nearly stole away UCD’s bonus point as he broke away from a ruck with no one infront of him. Only for Fergus McFadden’s covering tackle saved a certain try. In all it was a scrappy game, a total of 19 knock-ons called by the referee, as well as others left unnoticed, with infringements a plenty, Cork having 10 penalties against them to UCD’s 7. Colleges stars were fullback Conor Quinn, who was taking on everything he could, and winger Cian Aherne, who should versatility amongst the backs. UCD centre Fergus McFadden said after match “It was a good result all things considered. We only narrowly lost and they (Cork Con) are one of the best teams in the league.”
THE GOAL IS SOUL LEGENDARY PERCUSSIONIST STEVE REID PAGE 3
MARK DOHERTY GOING DEAF AGAIN DUBLIN ELECTRONIC ARTS FESTIVAL PREVIEW PAGE 4
STAR OF ‘A FILM WITH ME IN IT’ SPEAKS PAGE 10
MOTÖRING ALONG EXCLUSIVE MOTORHEAD INTERVIEW PAGE 6
n e r i S the
College Tribune Arts & Culture Supplement | 14.10.08
Siren MUSIC the
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
Documenting the rising Rise Against come from a long line of Chicago punk bands who came to fruition in the late nineties. Like most bands who came up through Chicagos’s legendary ﬁreside bowl, the band developed a set of blue-collar work ethics, which is clearly evident in the regularity of their harsh touring schedules. So it comes as no surprise that Appeal To Reason has been completed within mere months of ﬁnishing touring with their 2006 release The Sufferer & The Witness, and now the band are returning to the road to promote their latest installment. Aside from a line-up alteration, with Zach Blair taking over lead guitar duties, not much else has changed for this album. The band’s signature harsh, heavy guitar sound is still present, as are Tim McIlrath’s lyrics of un-
rest, dissatisfaction with society and the apathy of the population. Once again, McIlrath gives his own sociopolitical commentary from ﬁrst verse to ﬁnal chord of the record. It was always going to be a challenge to produce a follow up to their impressive 2006 effort. For the most part Rise Against have succeeded, although in places the songs lack some of the urgency and passion that characterised their past releases. Lyrically Appeal To Reason is consistent with previous releases from the band. Recently describing the band’s material on this album McIlrath said; “This is music that appeals to reason – the reasonable parts of the human psyche”. On being described as radical and controversial, he stated; “I don’t see anything real radical about what it is
we do. Only in a world this screwed up could concepts like being fair to people, being fair to each other, and growing up in a world that gives everybody a chance, only in today’s world could that concept be radical or be considered radical.” Undoubtedly, these concepts are recurring themes throughout the album. On the opening track from the album, Collapse (Post-Amerika), McIlrath voices his disgust with the human neglect of the planet; “A world too proud to admit our mistakes, we’re crashing into the ground”. One of the highlights of the record is the ﬁrst single to be released, Re-Education (Through Labor). Perfectly layered guitars provide a sonically ﬂawless backdrop for McIlrath’s anthem of deﬁance against the powers that be.
RISE AGAINST APPEAL TO REASON
★★★★★ Equally hostile, Hero Of War explores the world of military conﬂict and the modern soldier from a very different, and thought-provoking, viewpoint.Along with the aggression and turmoil, there are more mellow moments present, that deal with issues ranging from the loss of childhood in Audience Of One to matters of the heart in Savior, and McIlrath once again displays his diverse songwriting abilities. While the band has produced a
IGLU & HARTLY
I STARTED OUT WITH NOTHING AND I STILL GOT MOST OF IT LEFT
& THEN BOOM
WAY TO NORMAL
For those of you who would be expecting something different from the proclaimed hobo of blues guitar, you won’t actually get it, but that is not to say that his new album is without merit. I Started Out With Nothin...’ is a thoroughly interesting and completely engrossing release. It is presented in such a personable way, as those who are familiar with Steve’s preceding records would be glad to know. He introduces several of the tracks in his deep drawling voice, giving the listener that bit more of a connection with the songs. Possibly the most interesting part of this record is the few collaborations that appear. The most exciting one of these is the input of Nick Cave with his Grinderman project on Just Like A King.
Predictably, it stomps and thuds, yet still has the rough edges that are characteristic of a Seasick Steve record. Another surprise is the contribution of KT Tunstall. This works far better than one would expect, and her voice perfectly underscores Steve’s on Happy Man. This is probably Seasick Steve’s most cohesive and solid release to date, but it keeps the same old rustic charm that has propelled him to this place of renown he currently occupies. Listen up and be converted. EOIN BOYLE
Even in the electro-saturated market, & Then Boom - that’s right, this Californian quintet positively love using ampersands - holds it’s own against the likes of MGMT and Gym Class Heroes. This is an impressive feat, especially given the fact that the insistent obnoxiousness of this lot almost predisposes a reviewer towards negativity before so much as a single track has played. Kudos Iglu. Kudos Hartly. As an album, it’s an interesting mix of alternative, rap and electro. In This City, a Phantom favourite, is by far the strongest track on the album and demonstrates the band’s afﬁnity for their synthesizer. The only real qualm one could have about this album is that the boys are obviously fans of the ‘nothing like a line repeated constantly to get you hooked eh?’ school of thought, and to be fair it does work on some tracks.
However, it does begin to grate when you listen to the full album, most notably on Whatever We Like where, ‘FYI’, they can do whatever they like, whatever they like... whatever they like. It may not be eclectic or daring but & Then Boom is a fun and easy album, guaranteed to make you break out your old Casio keyboard, press demo and dream of being the next electro kings. What, just me? CLARE GILLETT
very good record, it does tend to run over the same ground both lyrically and musically as their previous releases, while also being slightly tamer than fans may expect. Granted, this album may not be Rise Against’s ﬁnest effort, but there are enough great tracks on Appeal To Reason to ensure that it does not diminish the bands standing as one of modern punk’s most respected acts.
Way To Normal, Folds’ third solo album release, is far from ﬂawless, but what Ben Folds album isn’t? Similar to previous Folds’ albums, Way To Normal sets out to document the trials and tribulations of a relationship meltdown. From You Don’t Know Me, featuring Regina Spektor, to Bitch Went Nuts, Folds establishes the feelings and thoughts of a couple almost to a confessional level. As usual, his lyrics are questionable and it would be true to say he crosses the line from time to time, but it is Folds’ charisma and humour that insists we listen and observe. Rather than Folds becoming more mature with his years, he seems to be regressing. Although the melodies are as catchy as ever, the tracks lack consistency. Free Coffee is a good example: Rather than building up to
something, it quite steadily crescendos, but never quite reaches the ﬁnale, leaving the listener unsatisﬁed. Ben Folds is a mischievous songwriter, but his latest release displays more of a childlike quality, as opposed to an adult poking fun. It is in parts an uncomfortable album to listen to, most particularly Brainwascht and Efﬁngton, sounding amateur and unpolished to say the very least. Way To Normal is a disappointing album, leaving the listener expecting more from each track, but never being indulged. Maybe it’s a grower… RACHEL BOYLE
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
Reiding the rhythm Legendary jazz percussionist Steve Reid, a man of immense energy and spirit, shoots the breeze with Bryan Dunleavy Steve Reid is, beyond doubt, a jazz hero. He has played with artists as diverse as James Brown to Miles Davis right through to Chaka Khan in a career that started in the late 50’s. Yet he remains unknown to the masses. This is unquestionably due to the fact that he refuses to stand still. It is this particular quality which saw him record with an ensemble consisting of local African musicians as well as English electronic virtuoso Kieran Ebdon (Four Tet) in Dakar in 2007. “Its all good when your playing in New York or London, but you can’t forget the others.” For Steve, working with indigenous musicians cuts out the middle man. Roots are deeply ingrained in his musical makeup. He names his desire to change direction as the yin to the proliﬁc yang - in other words, why he‘s produced a relatively small number of records. His next project is a planned Latin drumming escapade. He is, however, currently touring with the Dakar project. West Africa, which he deﬁnes as the “origin of all world rhythms”, has been a regular haunt of his for many years. The last time he visited the area was during the Vietnam War, and on his return home he received a four-year sentence for dodging the draft. “The Quaker religious group gave me some drums there and we turned it into a positive experience.” In fact, his positive outlook on life without doubt transcends into the music and, regardless of genre, he states that all his music has medicinal properties. “The people deserve it, the extremists in religion and politics are taking over.” He describes his live
show as a giving-and-receiving experience. “We give love and spiritual vibes to the people for looking beyond television and radio and seeking out new music….also we want them dancing; this isn’t an intellectual exercise, this is about fun, about something they can follow and understand.” Steve expresses his concerns about the commercialism evident in modern music: “Less and less importance is given to the music - today people are more concerned with becoming a star than being a good musician. Stand up for what you do and don’t follow the money. I’m pre- all that. I’m preinternet, pre-mobile, pre-digital.” He asserts that he is not a technophobe, in fact praising the internet as a bastion of creativity. He does however regard the live show in higher esteem. In his quest to spread music Steve Reid has travelled every corner of the globe; “I could maybe have been famous if I stayed on the Motown and pop scene but I didn’t, I believe in the little guy,
“I believe in the little guy, I believe the good guys will always win” I believe the good guys will always win.” The Dakar record itself is a rhythmic adventure. The melodies and the harmonies are generated from the drum rhythms laid down by Steve and Senegalese djembe player Marmadue Sah. “It’s difﬁcult for the non-percussionists in the band, but these guys can pick a hair off the ground, and anyway life is a groove, absolutely everything has a rhythm.” The other members of the group are all in their late twenties and early thirties. Steve recognises the beneﬁts of playing with younger guys. “Sometimes they want to learn and
sometimes they don’t, so in effect I‘m passing on my exploits and at the same time picking up new ones ...If I was playing now what I played thirty years ago it wouldn’t be challenging or satisfying, fortunately many young people are pushing forward the boundaries of the so called jazz music”. However, he adds jokingly that the only reason he’s been leading his current band for seven years is because all his contemporaries are gone. Before any poignancy can take hold though, he follows the statement with an idiosyncratically heart warming, yet bowelshockingly deep African -American laugh. Long may his joyful vigor continue.
» The Steve Reid Ensemble featuring Four Tet play The Button Factory on October 26th
THE GASLIGHT ANTHEM
THE ‘59 SOUND
IF YOU WANT BLOOD, YOU’VE GOT IT
Following the success of Hot Fuss, the Killers went all megalomaniac and decided that they were the best band in the world. Searching for a sound big enough to ﬁt the title, they decided to copy Born To Run-era Springsteen and all of a sudden the Boss was resurrected from Dad’s CD rack. Now every band has its inﬂuences but the Gaslight Anthem reek of Springsteen, and with lead-singer Brian Fallon sounding like a more manly Brandon Flowers, they bear a kind of skewed resemblance to the Killers. Think Sam’s Town, only with basic punk rock arrangements and no synthesiser. As for the Springsteen checklist, it’s all here; soaring choruses, simple chord progressions, songs about running away... The album is populated by tough ‘heart of gold’ wanderers all full of that vague ‘American Dream’ of yearning for something better; be it freedom, love, Saturday night... It’s a familiar
formula, and while it allows easy access to the characters’ world it sometimes feels like the songs are written about archetypes as opposed to real people. Bands like No Age and Titus Andronicus are doing far more interesting things with punk rock at the minute but these guys are good at what they do, however limited their ambition. If you like your rawk big and easy then this might be for you. DIARMUID LAFFAN
What happened this week forty years ago? The answer from most people would be… not much! One thing that springs to mind is the explosion of Australian rock legends AC/DC onto American and European turf, sporting their latest gut-wrenching, adrenaline ﬁlled, high voltage album, If You Want Blood, You’ve Got It. This was the Aussie boys’ ninth record to be released, and became an immediate hit. It captures an electrifying performance one night during the Powerage Tour, recorded live in Glasgow seven months prior to its release. The album celebrates the unique blend of the pure and perverse sound AC/DC are famous for, and places you straight in the middle of this in-theﬂesh unholy union, and promises some serious headbanging. The image on the cover says it all. As live albums go, it deﬁnitely deserves a tip-of-the-cap; showcasing gritty, raw lyrics about problem children, bad boy rockers, and groupies sang over three simple chords played loud, proud and with little restraint… and this is all present from the word go. The opening track Riff Raff takes you front and centre at the concert as guitarist, Angus Young, plays the opening strains
RELEASED: OCTOBER 13TH 1978 while the increasingly rowdy audience claps in unison to then be met by the track’s powered up 50’s-style boogie beat and rhythm. The song is turned up another notch by the energetic - and groggy - vocals of Bon Scott, which in turn seal the deal. Keeping the level of manic euphoria up, they jump straight into Hell Ain’t A Bad Place To Be, a song about the joys of an unbalanced relationship, and how it sucks, coupled with a simple - and catchy - main riff. The Jack cools things down by introducing some blues into the equation. In saying this, Scott’s little sing-along just revs the listeners up for more. Other tracks that are a must listen are the cheeky Problem Child, that makes you want to give two ﬁngers to anyone who stands in the way of you doing what you want. Whole Lotta Rosie shows us a ballsy AC/DC with
its chunky memorable riff, and lyrics telling all about sex with a nineteen stone woman while the crowd chant “Angus”. The iconic Let There Be Rock shows us that these boys from down under can really bring the house down, using preachy lyrics and massive, ﬁveminute, electrifying solos. If You Want Blood, You’ve Got It is an impressive album that takes hits from pervious albums, such as Let There Be Rock and Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, and builds on them, making them louder and more powerful. It is the sound of AC/DC, and their fans, living in the moment of high-voltage rock’n’roll. It is deﬁnitely a worthy addition to anyone’s collection, as it is one of the greatest live albums ever made and proves that they were - and are the loudest and dirtiest band alive. SIMON KEATING
Siren MUSIC the
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
Atomically correct Nicholas Appleby, lead singer and guitarist with unsigned garage rock band The Mighty Atomics, chats to Heather Landy about inﬂuences, the Irish gigging scene and how 60’s music is making a comeback The Irish scene is currently pulsating with an assortment of unsigned acts gigging relentlessly in the hope of clinching a record deal, or at least gaining notoriety on the music scene. One band who have emerged in recent months among the current crop are the Mighty Atomics, a Dublin based unsigned band who infuse garage rock with energy and raw drive to create music that unwittingly sends the audience into a nostalgic frenzy. Their music certainly sounds like it was transported from the 60’s heyday of the Beatles and Velvet Underground, but is it really an ode to the 60’s in a musical sense? Nicholas explains; “It is the kind of music we like to play. We don’t dig on electronica and that sort of crap. We just like it plain and simple, wear your heart on your sleeve, if you know what I mean.” The band possesses a deﬁnitive edge over the hordes of the unsigned competition; not many acts would boast such unusual inﬂuences as the Mighty Atomics. “Our biggest inﬂuence is the Sonics, a band from the mid-1960’s hailing from Washington. They played with a consciously raw and wild sound. They would be considered antipop. They created the blueprint for pop-rock.” Boasting such edgy inﬂuences would deﬁnitely intrigue those with a taste for garage rock, which has in the last couple of years enjoyed a revival: The White Stripes and The Strokes, along with some lesser known bands such as Von Bondies and The Detroit Cobras, spring to mind. Garage rock was seen by some as one of the underground music genres of the 1960’s and had a certain level of cool attached to its sound. From the Yardbirds to The Wailers, garage rock slowly began to emerge as a more raw and passionate substitute to the soul and pop music of the day. The next logical step for an unsigned band is to get in the recording studio, to produce a single or EP. Nicholas laughs; “We have a few bits of recording equipment in our back garden which we have been messing around with. We haven’t gotten into a studio yet but maybe that is something to
think about for the future but for the moment we are concentrating on playing loads and loads of gigs because that is where we feel our sound really is. We are a live band and we feel that it is the best way to get our message across.” For a band of only six months they have done pretty well for themselves: The Mighty Atomics have played at the King Kong Club in Pravda as part of the annual battle of the bands contest and have gigged extensively around the vicinity of Dublin and Wicklow. Last week they played Eamonn Doran’s with a number of other unsigned acts, and soon they will play Whelan’s. Nicholas muses, “It is quite intimidating to be playing in Whelan’s so soon in our short career. We have only been around for six months; it all seems a bit mad but hopefully it will all go down well!” The Mighty Atomics are a band primarily comprised of students. We all need to know how a band can juggle work with play. “I wouldn’t call it juggling. I would call it dropping your studies and concentrating on your music. We wouldn’t be very good jugglers. We practically have no hours in college so we practice twice a week no problem.” It is always interesting to learn how a band goes from being a dream to a reality. “A friend of mine was putting on a gig for the charity Suas and he asked us to put on a gig. Conor [drummer] I knew from playing in another band, Chris was our keyboardist but he has left us now, and Maurice [bass] I knew from a friend of a friend, so it’s now currently just the three of us. It was all a spur of the moment. We had only been together for two weeks before our ﬁrst gig.” So are we to expect the Mighty Atomics to embark into the serious realm of music or are they purely just playing for a love of music? “We all love to play but it is early in the game to be saying that, but it is always a dream. Anyone who has a guitar has a dream of playing on MTV and that sort of crap. Our main goal primarily is to be playing loads of gigs.” Catch the Mighty Atomics before they explode.
» The Mighty Atomics play Whelan’s on October 18th www.myspace.com/ themightyatomics
ELECTRI EXTRAV Stephen Shannon, production master, technical wizard and founder member of Halfset, ﬁnds time to discuss the ﬁner points of their long-awaited second album with Sebastian Clare and The Mailmen
The Dublin Electronic Arts Festival is now in its seventh year, and during the forthcoming October Bank Holiday weekend it will be taking over Dublin. Following on the Asian theme of last year, DEAF is bigger and broader in its ambitions and scope. Between Thursday the 23rd and Sunday the 26th of this month, DEAF will be hosting a total of 52 events throughout the city; from bigger venues, like Vicar Street and Whelan’s, through to the small independent galleries. DEAF is not going to let you avoid it. DEAF represents everything that is great in Irish and International electronic arts. The growth over the past two to three years of independent Irish promoters and music collectives means that the audience for electronic arts has grown exponentially. The diversity of sounds, basis for experimentation, and general willingness of the ipod generation to listen to music which is never going to hit the charts has grown along with it. This smorgasbord of ingredients make this sort of festival viable, both in terms of feasibility and the wide range and quality of acts on show. With so many acts, giving this festival the fullest consideration is a fool’s errand; it is almost impossible to give a digestible preview that covers every morsel of the feast. Instead, here we will pick out a few acts and explain just why people need to get involved. These will inevitably concern the bigger gigs but there will be free events, talks and demonstrations going on everywhere all weekend.
Thursday 27th: NURSE WITH WOUND AND STEPHEN O’MALLEY, ANDREW’S LANE, €22.50 Nurse With Wound are true legends. They have been around in various guises since 1978, with the only constant being Steven Stapleton. Members have included Jim O’Rourke, Stereolab and many more. There are now over 40 fulllength Nurse With Wound titles. Stapleton’s eclectic tastes in art, ﬁlm and music are often reﬂected in the broad and often unpredictable and unlikely music of Nurse With Wound - the output of which draws directly on nearly every musical genre imaginable, yet consistently retains a distinctive and recognisable Nurse With Wound ‘sound’. Another reason for checking this out is that with the ticket you get free entry into another gig that is on afterwards in ALT, featuring Mad
EP, Ebola and Ed Devane. As we’ve come to expect from Kaboogie and Foggy Notions, this line-up hints at an eclectic night mixing electronica, dubstep, glitch and whatever else the artists can ﬁnd.
Friday 25th: M83 AND CHANNEL ONE, VICAR STREET, €23 M83 released the brilliant Saturdays=Youth this year, and is now set to further establish his name through his appearance at DEAF allied with the recent announcement of his supporting slot for the Kings Of Leon European tour this autumn/ winter. M83 channels Blade Runner styled synths over exquisite production, creating something both beautiful and playful at the same time. Support act Channel One are deﬁnitely a band to keep an eye out for in the coming months as they ﬁnalise their ﬁrst album. Employing a mixture of electronics and live instrumentation, Channel One have been wowing audiences across the world - including the South by Southwest festival (SXSW) - for a few years now.
Saturday 26th: SYNTH EASTWOOD PRESENT CYCLES, MEETING HOUSE SQUARE, €0 Rapidly gathering fame for their audio/visual/ technological explorations, this will be the sixth Synth Eastwood extravaganza since their inception in May 2006. Synth Eastwood are a group who collect pieces from a range of disciplines under speciﬁc categories and organise shows to display them. But this isn’t an art show - this is a gig with a focus on interactivity and versatility. The visual pieces will be accompanied by the Synth Eastwood band and other guests.
Sunday 27th: DEAF CLOSING PARTY, €35 Where can you begin with this one? What the creators have basically done is build a festival
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
on Wexford Street. The range of choice is staggering; from the beautiful guitar and visual show of Chequerboard (highly recommended), to the majestic rage that is Fuck Buttons, from the amazing dubstep provided from the Wobble DJs to the techno supergroup that is Model 500. This event is being held in the main Whelans venue, upstairs in Whelans and the Village. With over 20 acts plus DJs and then visuals, this will deﬁnitely be the highlight of the year in terms of gigs
in Dublin. It will be particularly exciting to see how the Dublin acts, such as Chequerboard, Rollers/Sparkers and Legion of Two, hold up against the giants of electronica, like Laurent Garnier. To highlight one act; Model 500 are another of the acts playing who truly deserve the tag of ‘legends’. Their mission: to bring live techno to the masses and rediscover the soul of this seminal sound. It’s the ﬁrst time Atkins has performed live to an audience and the show comes with a “no fuck-ups not guaranteed” caveat, but as Banks argues, that’s what makes it interesting for the audience; the fact that you’ll hear the tracks as you’ve never heard them before, even if they don’t always get it just right. This is a rare opportunity to see a genuine techno supergroup, so we would advise you to get your Closing Party ticket and start practising your chinstroking now. Again there are so many things happening that we don’t have space for them all here but one thing to mention are the free workshops being organised throughout the city BBC Radiophonic Workshop, Totally Wired ﬁlm/Q+A, FAW workshop are both happening in the Digital hub, and the Kaboogie DJs will hosting an workshop on production and DJ-ing for free from 3pm upstairs in Anseo on the Sunday.
A sideways look at... Insipid Anodyne Shitrock Everybody hold on to your carefully groomed stubble, Chinos, and loose ﬁtting shirts. That’s right; Coldplay will be back with a new release, this year! Anybody hoping that it will merely be a mediocre Christmas single is in for a big disappointment as the band have apparently managed to concoct a whole new mediocre album! That Christmas release slot for albums is so mightily proﬁtable that the lads must have been sweating blood to have it done in time. That or they’re just slapping together the leftovers of Viva La Vida. You’re forced to wonder how it all came to this; a band of such banality, led by a man made of plywood who somehow contrives to end up marrying a Hollywood actress (admittedly an equally boring one), selling out stadiums. Well, obviously the blame goes towards wh at ev e r gormless sods buy their shite. More importantly, they’ve only gone and encouraged more of this Ryvita brand of rock. As we may have all gleefully forgotten,
this year has been immense for narcolepsy-inducing rock. Kaiser “Ahahahahah” Chiefs, Snow Patrol, Keane, the aforementioned Kings of Sleep-rock Coldplay... They will all have released new albums by the end of this year, and all will have been forcibly shoved down the public’s collective gullet. These bands are generally the most likely thing you will hear while handing over that 50 quid for a pair of socks in BT2, or whilst ﬁnishing that bottle of Heino as quickly as possible in order to escape those business types you were conned into going to a party with. More to the point, all this tripe only serves to feed perhaps the biggest shit-peddlers of the past decade with more publicity. That’s right, every time one of these bands stain the planet with their work, Noel or Liam will inevitably pop up and say something insightfully clever; “Keane? Shit!”. It may be true, but replace the word ‘Keane’ in that statement with the word ‘Oasis’ and it doesn’t get any less true. However, all is not lost in today’s world of overly standard rock; Pete Doherty recently offered to climb into a cofﬁn with live rats. True.
Wednesday 15th October: Enter Shikari, Ambassador, €29, doors at 7.30pm Mongrel, Academy, €18.50, doors at 7pm
Wednesday 22nd October Pivot, Whelan’s, €12.50, doors at 8pm
Friday 17th October Times New Viking feat. No Age and Los Campesinos!, Whelan’s, €15.50, doors at 8pm Saturday 18th October Cyndi Lauper, Tripod, €40, doors at 7.30pm Fall Out Boy, RDS, €37.50, doors at 7.30pm Messiah J & The Expert, Andrew’s Lane, €15, doors at 8pm Carly Sings, Sugar Club, €10, doors at 7.30pm Sunday 19th October Jenny Lewis, Button Factory, €17, doors at 7.30pm Monday 20th October Holy Fuck, Academy, €17.50, doors at 7pm Nizlopi, Whelan’s, €15, doors at 8.30pm Tuesday 21st October Black Kids, Academy, €17.50, doors at 8pm
Thursday 23rd October Vampire Weekend, Ambassador, €28, doors at 7.30pm Nurse With Wound, Andrew’s Lane, €22.50, doors at 8pm The Flaws, Whelan’s, €14, doors at 8pm Friday 24th October M83, Vicar Street, €23, doors at 7.30pm Trans AM, The Village, €20, doors at 7.30pm Sunday 26th October DEAF Closing Party, Whelan’s & The Village, €35, doors at 7.30pm Justice, Ambassador, €28, doors at 10.30pm Steve Reid Ensemble feat. Four Tet, Button Factory, €21.50, doors at 7.30pm Monday 27th October Elbow, Ambassador, €34, doors at 7.30pm Throw Me The Statue, Whelan’s, €14, doors at 8pm Seb’s Pick: Jenny Lewis plays the Button Factory this Sunday
Siren MUSIC the
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
Motörhead’s Mikkey Dee took time out from their hectic tour schedule to chat about rock’n’roll, dumbass critics, the faults of the modern rock scene, and, inevitably, about being genuinely old school, with Fergal O’Reilly Had Motörhead called it quits twenty years ago, they could have done so, content in the knowledge that they were one of the most inﬂuential rock acts of all time. After all, they were the progenitors of what is now known as ‘speed metal’; a fusion of punk and heavy metal that paved the way for the likes of Metallica, Slayer and a whole slew of modern heavy rock and thrash bands. But none of this matters because they’re still going strong and cranking out high octane rock’n’roll, and after 30 years and 19 studio albums they show no sign of even slowing down. For the last 16 years, Swedish-born drummer Michael Kiriakos Delaouglou, aka Mikkey Dee, has been a driving force behind the band’s relentless forward momentum. Since taking over on sticks duty for the enigmatic - and imaginatively monikered - Phil ‘Philthy Animal’ Taylor in 1992, Mikkey has recorded
on, and toured with, ten Motörhead albums. Despite being the baby of the band, he is now 44 and a father of two. Yet his enthusiasm for making no-frills rock’n’roll is showing no signs of waning. Consequently the band has been in a rich vein of form ever since Mikkey joined. It appears that the trio are now in a much more comfortable position: Gone are the revolving-door line-ups and the strained relations with record companies that marked much of the band’s early career. The band, now comprising of Mikkey, Phil Campbell and Ian ‘Lemmy’ Kilmister, resemble a closely-knit band of brothers. Mikkey explains that they’re still enjoying what they do and that it’s only getting easier: “You know it’s easier, not easy. But it is easier to write and be creative if you or the band is doing well and you have been doing well on the tour.
And I think it’s just natural that it’ll come out a little better. Let’s say you struggled on the tour and you think you’re not playing that good, or we don’t have a good harmony in the band, then I’m sure, I’m convinced, it will reﬂect in records. It’s always as I say that each record that you do is,
“Each record that you do is a reﬂection of the past year. It’s kind of a doctor’s bill, for how the band is doing”
at least for me, a reﬂection of the past year. It’s kind of a doctor’s bill, you know, for how the band is doing.” If this is the case, then life must be pretty hunky dory in the Motörhead camp, because the new album M ot o r i z e r sounds as vital as anything from their much romanticized golden-era of ’77-’82. It was of course in this period that such classic anthems as Ace Of Spades and B o mb e r emerged. But new tracks like ‘Runaround Man’ and ‘Rock Out’ sound as forceful and in-your-face as both of those aforementioned classics. Of course, there’s nothing radically new on this album, and you could pick out just about any song of this record and identify it as a reprisal of some earlier gem; but then the fans expect just that. “Each record has to be sounding like a Motörhead album”, explains Mikkey. “But I do believe we are taking a small step forward with every record, but we don’t want to take a big step. It should be a new Motörhead album; it has to sound Motörhead. Some bands you listen to, there from one record to another, you don’t even think it’s the same band. So we have to be very careful there.” It is the band’s uncompromising attitude that has won them legions of loyal fans over the years. You are never going to be caught off guard with any new Motörhead release because they’ve stuck to their own tried and
tested blue-print from day one. They have willfully eschewed the pomp and theatrics of some of their 70’s contemporaries in favour of a more primal sound. One might then criticise the band for their lack of progression, yet this is what the fans respect most about their heroes. Undoubtedly, it’s a double edged sword; the stasis for which they are revered is also what attracts the most criticism. So is Motorizer then, just another typical Motörhead release? Mikkey both accepts and counters any such criticism. “You have a bunch of dumbasses that really don’t know much about Motörhead or have followed Motörhead and comes out with a comment like: ‘Here’s just another Motörhead album’. And I’m sure to some people it does sound like that. But for the ones who actually follow every record and know us, they can
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
totally tell that it’s not just another record. It’s a new album. They’re new fresh songs. It does sound different, but yet at the same time it is very much a Motörhead album.” Dee is himself a product of heavy metal’s halcyon days, having cut his teeth as drummer for 80’s metal superstars King Diamond, Helloween and Don Dokken. Additionally, he cites Thin Lizzy’s Brian Downey and Deep Purple’s Ian Paice as his two biggest inﬂuences. It should come as no surprise then that his core values regarding recording and playing live are very much shaped by his oldschool background. It is unsurprising also, that he has a particular disdain for the folly of ‘getting ahead’ in the music business today. Mikkey explains just what it is about the mentality of the modern rock band that grinds his gears: “They over-produce
in the studio. I mean today to write a record it’s so easy. You can do it in your house. You can create insanely good music and then you’re supposed to play it live and it just doesn’t work. Motörhead is coming from the old school where you actually you ﬂick that switch and you have to roll the tape and record. There was no cheating. Anytime I was recording there were never any pro-tools, and you couldn’t cut and cheat the way you can today. So we still record in a very honest way and I think that comes across when you listen to it. I mean when I go back to albums like Made In Japan [Deep Purple] or Live and Dangerous [Thin Lizzy]...I mean, come on! These live records are insanely good! Because they could play and they knew what they were doing. They were playing because they loved to play not because they loved
to release a record.” One might mistake the grumblings of the man to be symptomatic of a rose-tinted view held by some ageing rock star. But Mikkey Dee holds ﬁrm that honesty matters and treating music as a craft to be perfected with hard-work over time, and that is hardly something that you could hold against him. Mikkey and the band do not hate everything about the modern rock scene; just certain aspects of it, namely the hunger for fame and glory. “Well, it’s a quick buck today, that’s what it is and prestige and fame and fortune and if they have to play an instrument too, oh what a bummer – but I guess I have to!” quips Mikkey. However, there are still some good guys out there for Motörhead it seems: Their most recent album release Motorizer was recorded in Foo Fighter’s front man Dave Grohl’s own 606 Studios in Los Angeles and produced by Cameron Webb – a man who has worked with some of the most commercially successful acts of recent times, including Foo Fighter, Limp Bizkit, Ben Folds and Buckcherry. Was there any chance that the band was hoping for a piece of that fame and glory for themselves by calling in such a successful producer? Mikkey dispels the notion of any such compromise: “I mean, we’re running the ship. With Cameron behind the wheel it doesn’t mean that he’s going to come in and decide, ‘this is how I want you guys to sound’. That would never work. We have had producers come in, talk to us and meet us, and wanted to work with us. But the approach they had was completely wrong. They can come up to us and say, ‘well I know exactly how this album is going to sound and what I want you guys to be like’ and the next thing that happens is that we say: ‘Well thank you very much, and we hope you do well...with some other band! But you ain’t gonna work with us - because that’s not how it works with us.’ We decide what to do and Cameron, for instance, is so competent and good that he’ll work around us. He’ll give us ideas and suggestions and we’ll listen to him of course and we’ll work it out.” That they have managed such a proliﬁc output throughout their carreer - roughly averaging an album every 18 months - is down to the way they write and record. They obviously don’t spend a massive amount of time making each album, plumping instead for a more spontaneous approach to the process. Mikkey concurs; “It’s very spontaneous writing. We’re not a band that can write. Let’s say we go in and start writing songs and then demo it and go back in again and
“I go back to albums like Made In Japan [Deep Purple] or Live and Dangerous [Thin Lizzy]...I mean, come on! These live records are insanely good!” change it and nit-pick at the stuff... We’re not a band like that. When we feel like ‘This sounds great!’, then we’ll try and get it on tape.” Above all it is in a live setting that Motörhead really excel and it is something which Mikkey really prides himself on. “I think we’re very honest to ourselves and to our fans. If you hear a new album from us you pretty much know that this something that the band wrote - this is not something that the record company, band and management wrote together. This is something that we wrote and we will later go out and play live. That’s where we really have to get undressed and show we still sound better than last time you saw us.” Indeed, the band’s live shows are the stuff of legends, and live albums No Sleep ‘til Hammersmith and Everything Louder Than Everyone Else are deemed every bit as essential as any studio album. The band’s powerful live shows have been vital to securing their hallowed place in rock’s upper echelons
and countering the occasionally negative press heaped on them for being unfashionable – Motörhead notoriously were described by NME as ‘The best worst band in the world of 1977’. Mikkey remains unfazed by the prospect of being either fashionable or not, stating; “we keep slugging it out and we keep forcing our shows to certain areas where it is tough - because the bottom line is quality will always prevail. And I have to say this is great, great quality, compared to a lot of shit that’s out there. We do sound great live and we still have to prove ourselves every night.’ The band play The Ambassador on Halloween and you’d be a sucker to miss them. Love them or hate them, and it is doubtful that they care either way, Motörhead are not going away anytime soon. Mikkey assures us of that: “We’re like a nightmare, we always come back”.
» Motörhead play the Ambassador on October 31st and November 1st
ng the Mikkey
Siren HEALTH the
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
Dark side of the moon Counselling psychologist Leslie Shoemaker speaks to Aoife Ryan about when sadness becomes a disorder There is not one person who can say they have never experienced a thoroughly, unforgettably bad day. Most of us can recall a dozen experiences in the last week of an aggravating nature without much hassle in fact. It is, to give ourselves credit, only human nature. If we didn’t have the occasional low moment we would be in serious danger of becoming clones of Alec Baldwin’s character in his guest appearance of Friends; so ecstatic we made those around us depressed. However, it is when these occasional feelings of sadness become the expected that we should begin to survey our health. In the last number of years the stigmatisation of mental health has been greatly removed. Government funded mental health awareness advertisements now have great
prominence in the media and online forums are available for those who want to either learn more and conﬁde to fellow sufferers. Social attitudes towards mental health have evolved so much that jokes are frequently made about yuppie trend followers attaching themselves to psychological disorders in order to appear more complex and elusive. Nevertheless, behind closed doors and out of the public eye, mental illnesses such as bipolar depression still retain a darkened, exaggerated image that can play havoc with the daily lives of sufferers. Counselling psychologist Leslie Shoemaker comes into contact with various mental grievances such as bipolar depression, and the lesser known seasonal affective disorder, on a frequent basis. Bipolar depression is rapidly becoming a more comprehended disorder on the whole as symptoms become more deﬁned and diagnosis made more possible as a result. A disorder which two decades ago would have been an unrecognisable medical term for the majority of the public is now widely familiar, which begs the question whether seasonal affective disorder will in a short space of time become a household term. “S.A.D. relates to the effect the change of seasons to autumn and winter, when there is less light around, has upon certain people. At this stage it is difﬁcult to determine whether many are affected by S.A.D. because deﬁnite statistics on it aren’t widely available but it is most likely on the increase in diagnosis because it is accepted now as a real disorder”, states Shoemaker. Research shows that the depression is linked to our need of sunlight, which regulates our body clocks. The amount and intensity of sunlight decreases come winter, which can cause a depressive attack. V a r i o u s hormones and chemicals, as well as disrupted sleep and the disturbance of serotonin levels, which control our
appetite and mood, are thought to be factors in the causes of S.A.D. The symptoms are similar to other depressive disorders; socially withdrawn, irritable and moody, concentration difﬁculties and anxiousness. “There are a number of ways you can treat S.A.D., one of which is light box therapy. Essentially, this involves exposure to strong artiﬁcial light that mimic daylight. Another form of treatment is cognitive behavioural therapy or medication. This disorder is still really in
‘bad and extreme’ as those on the show. It is important to stress that this disorder, like all, occurs on a spectrum from mild to severe.” One of the greatest problems in dealing with bipolar depression is not only coping with the dangers one faces when experiencing a low but the physical dangers that can occur during the highs. “The problem is that when people with bipolar are elated they don’t think about the consequences of their behaviour at all. In a Richard Gere ﬁlm, “Mr. Jones”, there is a scene which accurately portrays this. The character is at a building site doing dangerous activities but he cannot recognise that they threaten his safety.” Although the cause of bipolar is not deﬁnite, it is assumed to be genetic. Myths surrounding the susceptibility of highly-intelligent people are now being dispelled. As it is a lifelong disorder, control and stability need to be established in order to allow the person to continue with their life. “Medication controls the symptoms but cannot get rid of the problems that the person may be having with their family and friends. If they feel good sometimes the person decides to come off their medication, which only exacerbates the difﬁculties they experience daily.” Many people face the worry whether medication will effect judgement negatively or alter the personality of the sufferer. However, Shoemaker denies the possibility of this. “Medication addresses the physical manifestations and cannot stop a person from feeling or impact upon the personality.” Among the number of misconceptions surrounding depression, is that sufferers cannot empathise. Rather, it is that they may ﬁnd it difﬁcult to express empathy due to feeling entangled in their own personal problems. It is known as the selﬁsh disorder; an image which does not aid any possible sufferer’s desire for diagnosis, or the stereotype and social stigma. “People are afraid of being labelled ‘crazy’, which does happen. If we are to progress, we need to wipe clear any preconceptions, which only categorise and belittle people.”
“People are afraid of being labelled ‘crazy’, which does happen. If we are to progress, we need to wipe clear any preconceptions, which only categorise and belittle people” the early stages yet and needs to be further explored before treatment can be made more deﬁnite.” Similarly, sufferers of bipolar depression often experience restlessness and irritability among many of the possible symptoms. Despite allusions in available public texts that the two are linked somehow, Shoemaker denies any correlation. Both are, instead, critically important disorders in the depression range that need to be understood if advancement is to be made in either. “Bipolar depression is also known as ‘manic’ depression. The one feature that differentiates this from depression is that in addition to feeling down, people with this type of depression become elated. They feel they have lots of energy, racing thoughts and difﬁculty sitting still.” The question of representation once again raises its head with mental health. “Stephen Fry actually did an amazing television program that discussed his bipolar depression. The purpose was to educate the public and to reduce stigmatization. The only downside to this program was that he interviewed quite extreme sufferers. People I know who suffer from bipolar now feel they are viewed as being as
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
A cut above the rest With boyish cuts replacing long threads, Jessica Whyte examines this new daring movement Last month Vogue UK announced that the most inﬂuential hairstyle of 2008 belonged to that of Miss Agyness Deyn. While it cannot be denied that Agyness Deyn has been making headlines all over the world as a cutting edge model, it might be difﬁcult to come to terms with Vogue’s opinion that her boy short hair would ignite a scissor revolution. After all, since 2005 long luscious locks have dominated the fashion circuit. Three years later, and major changes abound. Forget about this season’s latest garments, almost every collection featured models with short hair. Even Claudia Schiffer had swapped her golden tresses for a dark, sophisticated bob as part an advertisement for the Chanel Autumn/Winter collection. The general opinion of short hair amongst women tends to be that of a love/ hate relationship. On the one hand it is edgy, sexy and daring yet on the other hand it is severe, boyish and lacks versatility. There is also the concern of exposure. When someone cuts their hair short there is less there to cover up, to conceal or to distract. Your facial features are on full display. Yet it is for precisely these reasons that a short hairstyle can be so striking. By drawing out a woman’s features and illuminating the face, you can convey so much with such little effort. Short hair has, without question, more positives attached to it than negatives. The infamous ‘bob’ hairstyle came into being out of necessity during the First World War as women were forced to replace men on the factory benches. Large in-
dustrial machinery and long tresses were not the ideal combination, and this led to the cutting of locks and the s u b s e q u e nt creation of a new, refreshing hairstyle. It was for this reason that the bob became a s s o c i at e d with liberation, equal-
BAG IT MANOLO WISH-LIST: Manolo blahnik shoes are ﬁnally available in Ireland thanks to Brown Thomas! Get em on your Christmas wish list now as there slightly out of a student’s budget…. INNER GOTH: Layers of black lace, studs, cross chains, leather; bring black up-to-date by embracing your inner Goth.
BITS AND BOBS: EVA LONGORIA’S FAUX BOB (TOP) AND AGYNESS DEYN’S DARING CUT (LEFT) ity and power. Since its creation, this cut has appeared and reappeared on catwalks and magazine covers throughout the decades. The golden age of the bob was undoubtedly the 1960’s when it was resurrected by Vidal Sassoon and gloriﬁed by Mary Quant, a British designer whose clothes deﬁned the swinging sixties. So how does the bob of 2008 differ from that of decades gone by? The twist in the tale with the look this time around is the invention of the ‘faux-bob’, which has been sighted on almost every catwalk this season. The genius behind its creation is that women do not have to go under the scissors to achieve the look. A
handful of bobby pins are all it takes to position your tresses at the length and style of your choice. Since the year 2000 hair has been totally and utterly abused. It started with good intentions: Jennifer Aniston looked simply adorable with those soft golden streaks through her shoulder length hair. Fastforward a decade and we have a hair epidemic sweeping through the capital. From hair extensions, to peroxide blond to the dreaded ghd’s, women’s hair has gone past the point of split ends. How can people believe that a back-combed, tangled main of dirty blond hair is in any way attractive or fashionable? Short hair in the 1920’s played a pivotal role in the creation of the new woman. Perhaps it’s time for the young women of 2008 to step off the conveyor belt and try something new. In the words of Mademoiselle Chanel, Fashion always changes-only style remains.
Student hair scares
ALEXA CHUNG: This UK ‘E4’ presenter is emerging as one of the coolest trend setters du jour! She is the epitome of quirky British style and rocks the androgynous look. Keep a close eye on her for style tips.
TOP TIP: Rub Bio-oil (available at pharmacies) into skin at night time or just after a shower to even skin tone, reduce scar marks, reduce stretch marks and re-hydrate skin!
BIN IT PEACHES GELDOF: Peaches G is off our cool list for snubbing the Harvey Nic’s party she was due to host and dj at in Dundrum! Diva tantrums are so last year!
Fiona Redmond hits UCD’s halls to ask the students some hairy questions When we open a magazine or ﬂick on the TV we are confronted with a multitude of hair products that claim to be the best for our hair. However without a thorough understanding of our hair type we risk never being able to ﬁnd the products that emphasise our natural beauty best. CURLY HAIR Elena Hevdonska, second year Politics student: “It’s really important to invest in a good conditioner. My hair is so curly that constant styling can make it a bit weak. The conditioner I have is especially for weak hair and I ﬁnd that it really makes a difference. Sometimes hairdryers can make curly hair go really frizzy, so it’s better just to let your hair dry naturally. And as addictive as hair straightners can be, you’re really better off just avoiding them.”
Lynn Monaghan, ﬁnal year Engineering student: “I’ve stopped using a hair straightener because it makes my hair really weak. Unfortunately normal shampoo leaves my hair too dry. To combat this I’d recommend washing your hair only twice a week. Also it’s important to get a quality conditioner and I ﬁnd that ones you can buy in the hairdressers are most effective.” THIN HAIR Nicky Devaney, MA student: “Having thin hair means there are many styles I can copy and yet it also means that I have to wash my hair every two days with shampoo and conditioner.” MA student Jennifer Keeler: “I’m the same. I also ﬁnd that its best not to dye my hair too much or it won’t stay in good condition.” Joanne Howell, second year
English student: “Thin hair tends to get greasy easily and a product like 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioners doesn’t allow you to control the amount of conditioner you use. This means that the product just clings to your hair, even when it’s dry.” THICK HAIR Eimear O’ Reilly, second year Arts student: “I use a serum every time I straighten my hair. The one I’m using at the moment is a mist so it goes on lightly. If you use too much of it your hair can look greasy. I try to let my hair dry naturally as much as possible so sometimes I use moose to make it curly. I ﬁnd Wella moose is really good because it makes your hair curly without the wet look. This way my hair can look great and I know I am not damaging it through over styling.”
HAREM TROUSERS: More like clown trousers! Seriously these don’t ﬂatter any shape or size, if you’ve bought them bin them ASAP before you hear the sirens of the fashion police after you! UGGS: These sheep-esque boots are still frequently spotted around the lecture halls of UCD! Opt for something cooler like converse or customise your own sneakers on NikeID.com! BY RUTH O’NEILL
Siren FILM MUSIC the
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
Hitting the Neapolitan nightmares Plot: The ﬁlm concerns the Camorro; the Neapolitan maﬁa concerned only with money, power and blood. Gomorra depicts ﬁve interwoven stories concerning those affected by the criminal underworld. Totò is barely a teenager who is drawn to organised crime after being exposed to the perks involved. Similarly, Marco and Ciro thinking themselves invincible, plan to replace Camorra boss. Franco, a corrupt businessman is making a fortune by arranging the disposal of toxic waste on maﬁaowned land. Pasquale works as a tailor in a mob-owned fashion business. Don
Paranoid android Plot: Shia LaBeouf reunites with director of Disturbia, D.J Caruso, for his latest race against time thriller. Following the mysterious death of his twin brother, Jerry Shaw (LaBeouf) is acquainted with Rachel Holloman (Michelle Monaghan) who’s son has mysteriously disappeared. Soon, both ﬁnd themselves framed for terrorism and are threatened to become part of a ruthless mission with unknown intent. Racing against time and FBI agent Moran (Billy Bob Thornton), both characters are drawn into the explosive antics.
Ciro is reluctantly delivering money to the families of imprisoned Camorro associates. Verdict: Gomorra is hugely engaging; you’ll ﬁnd yourself drawn into each of the character’s diverse yet troubled stories. It’s a hard-hitting and contemptuous depiction of the organised crime that controls much of Naples. The only fault lies in the ﬁlm’s two and a half hour run which verges on taxing towards the end but the brutal and vicious portrayal is thoroughly gripping. CATHY BUCKMASTER
EAGLE EYE ★★★★★
Verdict: This ﬁlm really exploits the fear of technology which ensures a ridiculous plot. Nonetheless, with staggering action sequences the viewer can push aside the plot’s nonsensical twists and allow Hollywood to shove the ﬁlm’s principle further than reality could allow. Ultimately LaBeouf nails the role of the average guy who gets unintentionally involved in the cogs of domestic intrigue. It’s not the next Bourne Identity, but if it’s cheap thrills you’re looking for, Eagle Eye delivers. HELEN O’SULLIVAN
Writer and star of A Film With Me In It, Mark Doherty, chats to Cathy Buckmaster about drunken cast members who needed lines whispered to them, shooting the ‘madey-uppy’ ﬁlm in 20 days in Dublin and his lack of career aspirations. “It sounds a bit wanky, but a ﬁlm only becomes a ﬁlm, and a living thing, when everybody has added themselves and their particular talent to it, and has made it come alive”. So says Mark Doherty, star of A Film With Me In It. This ﬁlm is the latest Irish ﬁlm perched on the horizon full of homegrown talent. With rave reviews already starting to circulate and after making the ofﬁcial selection on the prestigious Toronto ﬁlm festival, it looks like we ﬁnally have another ﬁlm to be proud of. Mark Doherty not only stars in the ﬁlm but wrote the script. He further explains the exhilarating feeling of watching your script and characters come to life through the eyes of others. “The experience was exciting and fascinating. A ﬁlm is very much a collaboration. You start out with a very deﬁnite vision and you hear each character talking.” “Then you give the script to the director. Even though you go through everything line by line, scene by scene, and try to communicate your intention with each word, he still will see it in a slightly different way. Then actors come aboard, and they deliver lines however they deliver them.” “Suddenly, the scene you envisaged has changed and developed and grown. So it’s a constantly changing, moving, rolling ball. When the collaboration works, then the whole
becomes greater than any individual contribution.” He exclaims modestly, “The script is a bunch of words, it’s not a ﬁlm.” The ﬁlm follows two deadpan but charming friends; a hard on his luck actor, played by the talented Mark Doherty and a dissolute script writer played by the always hilarious Dylan Moran. Unable to escape fate, they become entangled in a web a lies and end up with an impossible number of
I don’t work for ‘the man’ or the corporation but often that means not working at all. The story in the ﬁlm, though, is madey-uppy! dead bodies on their hands. As an actor himself, Doherty didn’t have to look too far for inspiration he admits. “Well, the situation is close to my own. I have been acting and writing for ages, 16 years in fact, and have been scraping by. It is exciting and liberating and frustrating in equal measures. I don’t work for ‘the man’ or the corporation but often that
means not working at all. The story in the ﬁlm, though, is madey-uppy!” Doherty jokes. Concerning the Toronto ﬁlm festival, the actor claims to be “Thrilled, of course. And thrilled to have been invited, and to see the ﬁnished product in a theatre with real, live, people! You don’t think about these things when writing, or even shooting.” The ﬁlm was shot entirely on location in Dublin so an Irish audience are likely to recognise more than one setting. “It is a contained little piece, with a small cast, and limited locations, so it could really have been shot anywhere. It was tough though. We shot the movie in 20 days. Mental. “For me it was a particularly hard time, because I was going home to do rewrites for the next day each evening after a twelve hour shooting day. I still felt some responsibility for every character, and got used to ﬁve hours kip a night. But I’m not giving out; you get quite high by pushing yourself farther than you would normally go.” Doherty’s script leaves room for improvisation and director Ian FitzGibbon clearly let them run with it in the ﬁlm. For this to work, the chemistry between the cast needed to be very strong, so it’s lucky that it really was. Doherty is surrounded by a very strong supporting cast including laugh a minute Dylan Moran and a memo-
A satirical gem
Proud, but predictable Plot: Colin Farrell, Edward Norton, John Voight and Noah Emmerich all star in the newest cop drama, Pride and Glory. They are all part of a multigenerational police family in the New York police department. Ray Tierney (Edward Norton) must investigate his own family as his brother in law is involved in a corruption scandal that ended with the deaths of three policemen. He must ﬁnd out who is responsible for the corruption, even if it means breaking up the department and turning his back on his family. Verdict: Despite the all star cast,
PRIDE AND GLORY ★★★★★ Pride and Glory brings nothing new to the table. Norton is consistently very good but the lacking script almost leaves him with nothing to do. As well as this, we have Colin Farrell who is still clearly unable to pull off an American accent. Pride and Glory is only an average movie, but might be worth the watch if there’s nothing else on. MAXIMILLIAN HARDING
The Hudsucker Proxy is one of the Coen Brothers’ most underappreciated efforts but this bizarre 30’s pastiche comedy deserves to be re-evaluated. The ﬁlm follows the exploits of Norville Barns (Tim Robbins), a classic Coen idiot. He is promoted from the mailroom to President of Hudsucker Industries by the Machiavellian board of shareholders, led by the late Paul Newman, following the owner’s suicide. The board’s plan is to install an incompetent fool as President to drive down the share price allowing them to buy it outright. This scheme begins to backﬁre however when Norville’s invention, the hula-hoop, becomes an instant success. As you would expect of a Coen Brothers’ ﬁlm, it is generally more interested in playful direction and the subversion of older genres, in this case the screwball comedies of Howard Hawks and Frank Capra. Unexpect-
THE HUDSUCKER PROXY
ed elements include the Hudsucker building’s clock possessing some sort of control over the workings of the universe, an aspect which ensures the ﬁlm’s climax is never predictable. Perhaps the main weakness of the ﬁlm is Jennifer Jason Leigh’s performance as a journalist intent on revealing Norville as the idiot
puppet but her role calls for too much imitation rather than characterisation. However to get caught up in questioning the roles in a Coen ﬁlm is to miss the point. The mechanics with which The Hudsucker Proxy combines 1930s movies, Orwell’s 1984 and surrealism whilst maintaining a cohesive plot speaks volumes about the abilities of the brothers. The Hudsucker Proxy was a box ofﬁce disappointment in its day and consequently ended their relationship with super-producer Joel Silver who had given the Coens the biggest budget of their careers. Their subsequent work demonstrates however that they continue to take risks, well aware of the possibility that their audience may be unresponsive. NICHOLAS BROADSTOCK
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
5 ﬁlms to... Improve your grasp of foreign languages
AMELIE (FRENCH) Romantically living in Paris, Amelie is a wide-eyed neurotic young woman who enjoys spying on her weird and wonderful neighbours. Being very shy, she commonly resorts to her own magical way of seeing the world. After returning a lost childhood treasure belonging to a former occupant of her apartment, she devotes her life to making others happy. While pursuing various altruistic missions, she encounters her love interest, an eccentric man who collects discarded passport photos. This is a ﬁlm which can never been done justice with words but just has to be seen. It is rich, creative and fun and will undoubtedly charm anyone with its stylised yet simple story telling. rable turn from Keith Allen as their gruff landlord as well as David O’Doherty. “They are all individual and completely different and brilliant. David had little to do on paper, but has quite a presence. Dylan is Dylan. And Keith Allen is a very good, and technically brilliant, actor. He contributed a lot, and added some testosterone to a part that probably was quite weak and underdeveloped in the script.” The cynical and deadpan humour in A Film With Me In It is often evident in the way Doherty answers questions. When asked about any
other career aspirations Doherty may have had, he simply and honestly replies, “I have never had any career aspirations.” Concerning the difﬁcult choice between acting and writing, he is in no rush to limit himself. “I’m happy doing both. I have never had a preference, or a plan. When somebody with a unique style and voice and far from anything I could write or imagine offers me a gig, then of course I jump at it. Other times, often during periods of unemployment, I come upon a little writing idea that I know could be funny and try to follow that through.”
PICK OF THE WEEK
Bloody hilarious Plot: Mark (Mark Doherty), A struggling actor trying to ﬁnd his feet, clearly has nothing going his way. He has to endure humiliating casting meetings, is behind on the rent for his dingy basement ﬂat and his relationship with girlfriend, Sally (Amy Huberman), is crumbling around him. Isolated and despairing, Mark seeks refuge in the company of his friend and neighbour Pierce (Dylan Moran), a writer/waiter who spends his time in the pub chasing creative inspiration. Bleak as things appear to be, things are about to get a whole lot worse. A string of fantas-
tic accidents combines with a whole shower of implausible twists and all of a sudden these two friends have a lot more than money or relationship problems to deal with. Like a dead body ...or three... and a whole lot of blood in the kitchen. Verdict: A Film With Me in It is an absolute gem. Darkly comic from the opening shot, this ﬁlm ﬁnds its humour in awkward silences and delights in exploring quirky aspects of the Irish psyche. The ﬁlm hinges on the relationship between Mark and Pierce, and even as we are presented with numerous gruesome
As for the ultimate highlight of his career, the writer claims there’s far too many to choose from. “I don’t know,” he says “There’s loads of highlights, and loads of nightmares like being onstage with an actor who had been on the lock for 24 hours, and getting through the play by feeding him all his lines under my breath and getting away with it! But can’t mention the production, or the actor,” Doherty concludes mysteriously.
» A Film with Me in it will be released in Ireland on Friday, October 17th
A FILM WITH ME IN IT ★★★★★ deaths and colourful characters, their friendship offers a source of continuity. Mark Doherty and Dylan Moran are on the ball the whole way through the ﬁlm, both turning in impressive performances. Moran is particularly hilarious as the droll Pierce who is always brilliantly inappropriate. This is the kind of ﬁlm that sticks in your head and has you sniggering to yourself on the Dart a week after you’ve seen it. Irish ﬁlm making at its best. ORLA KENNY
PAN’S LABYRINTH (SPANISH) It is in 1940’s fascist Spain that we meet the imaginative and dreamy girl, Ofelia. With her heavily pregnant mother, she is moving to live with her new step-father, a sadistic military captain. While civil war rebels are hiding in the mountains, waiting to ambush the fascist troops, Ofelia is discovering a whimsical labyrinth. Here, she meets an ancient faun who promises to tell Ofelia her destiny if she completes three difﬁcult, gruesome and sometimes terrifying tasks. This delightfully dark ﬁlm is a fairy-tale for adults. The allegorical way the horrors and monsters of reality and fantasy are blended together create an absolutely spellbinding tale. BLACK BOOK (DUTCH) Black Book, set during the Second World War, tells the story of a Jewish Dutch woman, Rachel Stein, living in Nazi occupied Hol-
land. When she and her family are trying to escape to reach allied ground by boat, they are ambushed and her whole family is brutally shot. She seeks revenge by joining the resistance and using her beauty to seduce senior ofﬁcer Muntze and penetrate German security. However, when she begins to have feelings for the man she is betraying she becomes embroiled in a web of double-dealing. Although evidently over the top, its many intriguing twists keep viewer interest and make a thoroughly engrossing espionage thriller. BATTLE ROYAL (JAPANESE) Set in the near future when Japan’s society is crumbling due to uncontrollable youth hooliganism, legislation is passed to send 42 delinquent Japanese school students to a deserted island, each with a bag of randomly selected weapons. They have to ﬁght to the death until only one is left standing three days later. They’re also forced to wear a special collar that will explode if they break a rule. Sound brutal? It is. The ﬁlm is disturbing to say the least but the transﬁxing subject matter and the focus on how the children cope make for a gripping watch. APOCALYPTO (YUCATEC MAYAN) Set in ancient Maya, we come across Jaguar Paw, an indigenous man acting the lad with a few of his fellow tribesmen. Their peaceful tribe is later brutally pillaged by a powerful invading civilization that wants slaves and humans for sacriﬁce. Jaguar Paw hides his heavily pregnant wife and their son in a nearby hole. Soon after, he is captured himself and saving his family is looking evermore impossible. Despite the over the top gore and Mel Gibson’s involvement, Apocalypto is a surprisingly engaging and heart-pounding watch and who doesn’t need to brush up on their ancient Mayan?
Siren MUSIC THE SKIP the
College Tribune | October 14th 2008
SOCIAL ENDEAVOUR OF THE FORTNIGHT
Airﬁeld Urban Farm Some might think it seems a tad unwise having an animal filled farm in the city but Airfield fits into its surroundings with surprising ease. Airfield urban farm is an old estate open to the public; with a small fee you can explore the huge estate with fields galore as well as an ornamental walled garden and the car museum. However, by far the best part is their wide selection of farm animals that will take you back to all those primary school field trips to the Glenroe farm you were undoubtedly forced
Brilliance of Beckett Caitrina Cody was at the Abbey to witness the disturbing spectacle that is Samuel Beckett’s Happy Days
to go on. Sheep, chickens and cows are all on location but the must sees of the farm are animals with character such as the donkeys, Michael and Smokey Joe and not forgetting Betty and Prudence, the saddle-back pigs. Airfield also has a very charming gift shop which is full of unnecessary but must have trinkets like classic toys, kitchen ornaments, jams, chutneys and honeys. The Overends Café on the ground floor of the beautiful house on the farm is very cosy, serving delicious food. With all you can do for less than a fiver, it really is a great and very relaxing way to spend a Sunday afternoon. However, mostly everything worth seeing is outdoors so dress for the weather. Tickets are €4 with a student card and it’s located just five minutes by car from Dundrum shopping centre. CATHY BUCKMASTER
Happy Days is not a play for the faint-hearted. Taking place over two acts, it is the story of a woman who is imprisoned in the earth of a scorched and barren desert, with only her vacuous husband and the unrelenting sun for company. Beckett is known for his challengingly symbolic plays and this one is no exception. Fiona Shaw (who also plays Aunt Petunia in the Harry Potter series) stars as Winnie, a seemingly superﬁcial chatterbox who is visible only from the waist up for the ﬁrst act and from the neck up in the second act. The play opens with an arresting set – the stage is a vision of hell, dominated by an enormous mound of blasted earth, on top of which is perched a very civilised-looking lady in a sun-hat. This is Winnie. Every morning Winnie and her husband Willy are woken by an ear-splitting alarm that signiﬁes the start of another long day for the stranded couple. Willy (played by Tim Potter) has a degree of freedom, in that he can seek shelter from
Wonderland woes Go Ask Alice is based on the actual diary of Alice, a ﬁfteenyear-old drug user. Although ﬁrst published in 1972, this story is every bit as relevant today as it was over thirty years ago. When Alice starts to write her diary, she has just turned ﬁfteen and has a new-found interest in boys, clothes and make-up. The love of her life Roger has just rejected her and her family is moving house. When she goes to stay with her grandparents for the summer, she is invited to a party by one of the ‘popular girls’ where she has her ﬁrst experience of LSD. Frighteningly quickly, Alice is sucked into the world of drugs, trying pot, heroine, cocaine and anything else that comes her way. While in some
ways Alice’s writings are beyond her years, in others, she retains her young teenage innocence, falling in and out of love on a weekly basis and worrying about being one of the popular kids. She eventually tries to escape the world of drugs so that she can make her family proud and be happy with her straight-laced boyfriend Joel, but the people from her past will not allow it. Alice endures bullying, blackmail, and even having her food spiked with LSD before she is ﬁnally left alone.
GO ASK ALICE ANONYMOUS Her diary concludes with a happy entry, explaining that she was grown-up enough now not to need a diary, and that she was looking forward to college life and eventually marrying Joel. Three weeks later, Alice died of an overdose, at home, alone. Nobody knows what happened, or why. Keep the tissues handy while you read this book, but do read it. You’ll never forget Alice’s story, and that is exactly what her parents hoped to achieve by showing it to the world. SUSANNE O’REILLY
HAPPY DAYS ★★★★★ the oppressive sun and Winnie relies on her unresponsive husband to be her audience as she shares her fragmented observations during the course of the play. There is no explanation as to how Winnie and Willie arrived in this situation but instead the audience is quickly swept along by the hypnotic pace of her erratic monologue. “Something of this is being heard, I am not merely talking to myself, that is in the wilderness, a thing I could never bear to do – for any length of time. That is what enables me to go on, go on talking that is. Whereas if you were to die – to speak in the old style – or go away and leave me, then what would I do, what could I do, all day long, I mean between the bell for waking and the bell for sleep? Simply gaze before me with compressed lips.” This production, directed by Deborah
Batty boosh brilliace The hit radio turned TV show, The Mighty Boosh, has recently crammed their colourful and new age comedy routine into one very beautiful book. This autumn collaboration invites you to join Naboo, Bollo, Vince, Bob Fossil, Old Greg, the moon and all of your other favourite characters on a unique journey ‘through time and space… to the world of the Mighty Boosh’. The book is full of Vince’s child-like drawings, bizarre poetry, crimps, favourite quotes, amusing and angry photographs, Howard’s disturbing jazz fantasies, scrib-
Warner, is riveting and Fiona Shaw is completely believable as the tragic but stalwart heroine. Shaw herself explains that Winnie begins every sentence with a note of optimism but fails to complete them. Shaw superbly embodies the stubborn optimism of Winnie and her refusal to give in to the nothingness of her life. She clings to halfforgotten memories and to her capacious handbag, examining its contents lovingly, its very presence a reassurance. Winnie’s predicament is not simply the predicament of a woman imprisoned in the earth, but is symbolic of the human condition and the struggles that we face as we attempt to make our lives meaningful in a world of trivia. Ultimately, this is a production that chills the heart while eliciting the laughs, a paradox that Beckett was extremely good as creating.
» Happy Days is playing at the Abbey th Theatre until the 25 of October. Student concessions are available.
THE MIGHTY BOOK OF BOOSH JULIAN BARRATT AND NOEL FIELDING
bled cartoons about being raised in a forest by Brian Ferry, Howard Moon’s arctic journal and millions more of the best bits from the show. As well as all the old shenanigans, they have written out new material for hungry Boosh fans, including a book of Vince’s excuses for being late and Bob Fossils A-Z list of alternative names for zoo animals (from Mr. Nose Licker instead of ant eater to Mr. Clippity Clop man instead of zebra). There is also a scandalous love affair between old Greg and Slash from Guns and Roses, the phases of the moon explained by the
shaving-foam-face itself and a brand spanking new story about Charlie, every ones favourite piece of Hoovershaped chewing gum. If David Bowie, Monty Python and Anthony Burgess had ever joined forces with pens and crayons, it might have turned out something like this. The Boosh have given us a unique combination of silly and witty, childlike and suggestive, random and relevant. The Mighty Boosh has never failed to surprise and amuse us and the book is no exception. The surreal, eccentric and even musical (impossible as that may sound) aspects make sure the book is well worth the read. KATIE GODWIN