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The Difference is We’re Independent

Issue 8 | Volume 22 | 3rd February 2009

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SIPTU DEMAND ANSWERS FOR MOUNTAINING UNIVERSITY DEBT

Members of SIPTU last week demanded accountability from UCD President Hugh Brady after he announced the college is heading for a possible debt of €20 million this year. Kieran Allen, who is president of the UCD SIPTU branch has accused the college of “managerialism” and has vowed that himself and others in the university “will not take pay cuts”. The comments come after Brady convened a meeting with over 1,000 members of staff in order to brief them on the current financial situation in the college. Some of the suggestions to cut back costs included schemes such as early retirement, voluntary redundancies, reduction in hours, pay cuts, a decrease in frequency of promotions and a freeze on recruitment of all but essential academic staff.

n Jennifer Bray & Karina Bracken Allen has demanded to see information regarding the state of the college’s finances before Brady’s entry into the UCD hot seat. It has also been revealed that a letter was sent to college big brass last week by representatives of the college SIPTU branch seeking further transparency on issues of spending and costs. A spokesperson for UCD has said “The town hall meeting was an opportunity to discuss the current financial situation and to acknowledge the enormous strides the university has made in terms of curriculum reform, research outputs and international performance.”

» News Investigation: Page Six


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College Tribune | February 3rd 2009

News News

Library Campus trashed in night of fines set drunken revelry to double n UCD assessing costs of widespread vandalism n Dublin bus curtail campus services again

■■ Eileen Gahan The James Joyce Library will drastically increase the fines for the late returns of book and laptop loans beginning in February. In some cases the fines will be more than doubled. The fine on the late return of Standard Loan books

UCD descended into chaos on the night of 19th of January - the first of the academic semester. Celebrating the return to college after Christmas, drunken students went on a rampage across campus destroying a number of facilities in their wake. While UCD security had enjoyed a relatively quiet Christmas and New Year, the first day of term signalled business as usual. According to a source within UCD, 150 cars were left in the car parks on campus overnight, three times more than average. A number of student cards were confiscated as a result of aggressive behaviour and returned the next day. One of the bus shelters near Fosters Avenue was kicked in and the entire panel of glass smashed. Metal frames that act as disability supports were uprooted and torn from the ground outside the Quinn building and car park four. In an email circulated by the SU, the callousness these acts were condemned. It included the consequences of the actions of those responsible. Due to the events of the 19th, Dublin Bus has once again curtailed its services

■■ Karina Bracken

the damage on campus and to Dublin Bus. The SU have stated that it was money that “could otherwise be used to maintain and improve student services across the campus.” A spokesperson for UCD commented that “It is extremely disappointing that such behaviour occurred on campus and entirely regrettable that these facilities will not be unavailable for use by those members of the UCD community who most need them until they can be fully repaired. The full cost of the damage is currently under assessment.”

into UCD after 8.30pm. This includes the bus stop at the flyover on the N11. Brendan Cushen of Dublin Bus stated that the company “is currently waiting for UCD’s Building Operations Manager to come back with a date for a meeting to take place with Dublin Bus management, representatives from Dublin Bus Trade Unions and An Garda Síochána. Until this meeting takes place, Dublin Bus’ position remains the same.” Cushen again cited “incidents of anti-social behaviour” as the reason for the decision. UCD must pay costs covering repairs for

will be increased from 20 cent per hour to 50 cent per hour, while a Week Loan book returned late will now incur a fine of €2 per day, instead of the previous 1 euro per day. The most dramatic increase is on the late return of Reserve Collection books and Laptop Loans which will now incur a penalty of €10 if returned more than fifteen minutes late, €25 if returned more than thirty minutes late and €60 and a one month suspension from the service in question if returned more than an hour late. UCD staff will also be subject to this increase in late fines. The Library has had problems with the availability of books in the past and it is hoped that these new measures will increase the circulation of books which are in heavy demand.

College Tribune LG 18, Newman Building (Arts Block) or Box 74, Student Centre, UCD Email: collegetribune@gmail.com Tel: 01 716 8501 Editors News Editor Sports Editors Arts Editor Music Editor Health & Fashion Editor

Simon Ward Jennifer Bray Karina Bracken Bryan Devlin Jordan Devlin Cathy Buckmaster Sebastian Clare Aoife Ryan

Contributors

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Katie Godwin, Gerard Casey, Peter Lahiff, Eoghan Glynn, Colman Hanley, John Flynn, Kev Doyle, Eoin Boyle, Jessica Whyte, Aoife Smyth, Fiona Redmond, Nicholas Broadstock, Caitrina Cody, Max Harding, Helen O’Sullivan, Faustus

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Special thanks to... Frank, Huw and Mark at NWM, Amy and Chantal at Universal, Danielle, Colm and Rory at MCD, Patrick Stewart at the IFI, David Cadden at the Abbey, Eva at Red Lion, Phillip Connolly, Karen Coleman, Peter Lahiff, Karen O’Connell, Alan and Beryl Ward for their endless patience (and their house), Solo Too productions, SoCo, Sara B., Rob D. and Paul Hewson, Hilpers’ coffee and the Winter Warmer Special.

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College Tribune | February 3rd 2009

News

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€10,000 a day to be stumped up in new parking measures n Cathy Buckmaster Over €10,000 is believed to be the approximate revenue a new parking charge system will raise. The proposed parking system, which is in discussion for introduction for the next academic year, will charge students and staff for parking per hour. President of the Students’ Union, Aodhán ó Deá commented on what the system will entail. “The projected system is based on parking systems used in some American Universities. Anybody who parks regularly on campus can buy an in-car meter which charges you for every hour spent in UCD. The meter is activated by inserting a staff/ student card when parking. This triggers some type of light which shows that you are currently paying for parking. “The charges would be equal for staff and students and are not yet set in stone. There would be a limit to how much one person can be charged in a day. The in-car meter would be a once off purchase and the cost of it would give you an equivalent amount of parking hours free.”

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O Deá also said that “it is suggested that these charges would only be in place on weekdays during term time but once again these are still only proposals and not finalised. Cars without the in-car meter would pay at meters within each car park at a higher rate.” Although the system is not yet finalised, it will aim to benefit the park-

ing situation by charging for a space per hour.” There is no date planned for the implementation of any new system- only ongoing discussions. Realistically if any new system was to be introduced it would probably happen over the summer this year or next year” The proposal of charging for all

parking within UCD has been raised numerous times before and has almost always resulted in mixed reactions and controversy. Ó Deá explains why he thinks it's necessary. “This year the car parking structure in UCD has reached boiling point and something really needs to be done. The SU has no set policy on this new

system yet but I believe personally that something needs to be done about the current situation, whether it is adopting this proposal or any other,” he argues. He further argues that all of the areas and estates surrounding UCD have now introduced pay parking which brings more cars onto campus every day parking for free. It is increasingly hard for any student travelling from outside Dublin to make it in before 9am just to get a parking space. It is hoped that any charge for parking will entice students who can use alternative methods of transport to use them and free up spaces for those who really need them. The projections will allegedly raise a sum of €10,000 a day. The question remains how this vast amount of money will be used. “Any money raised will go back into commuting facilities alone. There are almost 3,200 spaces on campus and this could generate about €10,000 a day but it all depends on rates and limits on charges. A series of initiatives to improve facilities for cyclists are planned as statistically the number of cyclists in UCD has fallen in recent years.”


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College Tribune | February 3rd 2009

News News

SU officers deemed ‘inapproachable’ in survey ■■ Jennifer Bray A recent poll by the Students’ Union has shown that approximately 21% of UCD students find their sabbatical officers difficult to approach. Only 8% rate the current union to be completely accessible. Over 2,000 students participated in the survey, which concludes this result by stating “One noteworthy criticism appears to be that students do not generally find the SU Officers approachable. This suggests that, while they are confident in the work being done, they feel that there is a gap in existence between the officers and the student body.” This year’s sabbatical team comprises five paid officers, including President Aodhán Ó Deá, Communications and Campaigns officer Dan O’Neill, Welfare Officer Conor Fingleton, Ents Officer Gary Redmond and Education Officer Paul Lynam. Another blow for the Union was delivered as 11% of students believe the union has been “completely invisible”, around 31% believe their visibility has been middling, and a mere 12% think the SU has been completely visible. Education Officer Paul Lynam was

also presented with some startling results when the question on whether two particular services supplied to students by himself, notably Grindsfile and the second hand bookshop, were used. A vast 92% have never used the Grindsfile, and 52% have never used the SU bookshop and the poll notes that “there is a definite need to promote some of the more specific

services, for example, the grinds file – which is an extremely useful resource but appears to be under utilised by the majority of students” Furthermore, results show that 49% of students do not know who their programme officer is. The analysis maintains that “the response of students has been generally positive, when queried on the ef-

fectiveness of, and value offered by the SU, the results tend toward a very positively weighted standard distribution curve. “There is further evidence of belief in the various campaigns run by the SU, signalling a satisfaction in the directions to which the SU extends its efforts.” There is good news however for

Communications and Campaigns Officer Dan O’Neill as the majority of students felt the fight against fees has been an effective campaign. Direct action such as marches, and occupations was also supported by the overwhelming majority of those who completed the questionnaire. The fight against fees was also voted one of the most important campaigns, along with those

Butler attacked for o2 promotions messages Vice-President for Students Martin Butler found himself at the centre of an unexpected controversy after his last circular. Butler sent an e-mail to all students promoting mobile broadband offers from company o2, only to receive complaints from students reacting against his promotional activity.

He then sent out an apology message saying "I have received some feedback from students suggesting that it was not appropriate to use my email to students to promote a commercial offering. I value this opportunity to communicate with students and I would never agree to any-

thing that, I believe, would jeopardise the integrity of this link." Butler further defends the actions stating that it was done in the spirit of informing students. The first missive contained details of the broadband suppliers arrival on campus, and further information on the "cheapest broadband rates on the market".

News in Brief ■■ Compiled by Karina Bracken and Katie Godwin

New Skin and Cancer facility on campus UCD has joined with the City of Dublin Skin and Cancer Hospital Charity to construct a new facil-

ity on campus. Funding has been provided by both entities to establish the new building, the Charles Institute, which will be located between the Conway Institute and the Health Sciences Centre. With works beginning this month, the building is projected to be completed for use by September 2010. Integrated with Dublin Academic Health Care (DAHC), the Charles Institute of Dermatology will be a facility for research and training in dermatology. The new building will also host Systems Biology, which will "combine expertise in systems engineering, mathematical and computational approaches with state of the art technology platforms. The focus is on bio therapeutics and will harness the knowledge to develop novel approaches for drug target identification, personalised medicine and toxicity profiles."

National Student Film Festival The third National Student Film Festival will take place in UCD on the 18th of this month. Films made and submitted by student film-makers all over Ireland will be watched from 9am-9.30pm on campus in the Astra Hall. The type of films that will be shown include features, short films, documentaries, music videos and art videos. Admission is free and all students, including those from other colleges, are welcome to sit in at film showings at any time during the day. “Everyone is welcome to come along and anyone who happens to be around should pop in” says Auditor of Film Soc. “It’s a good place to meet people with the same interests and talk about different films”. This is a non-profit one-day festival for students, by students. It includes all those from 'The School of Life', meaning anyone who is not part of, or in production with any industry body. Students and committee members will cast a vote for the winning films. Prizes are given for Audience Choice (Gold, Silver and Bronze) and the Committee Choice (The Marty Award). These prizes are funded by Filmbase Ireland. The winners will be presented with a certificate at the award ceremony after the screenings. This is currently the only National Student Film Festival in Ireland. The previous years were successful with about 250 students in attendance.


College Tribune | February 3rd 2009

News

Bohemian odyssey hits Belfield The original manuscript scrolls of Jack Kerouac's popular and critically acclaimed novel 'On the Road' is coming to UCD. Referred to as "the bible of the post-war Beat Generation in America", it counts Bob Dylan as one of its well known fans. The story is almost entirely autobiographical and portrays the author's fascination with jazz, women, sex and the American landscape. Kerouac's seminal novel has come to be known as "the archetypal 'roadtrip' tale". The manuscript has been on a public tour across America since being bought by a private collector in 2004. The scroll will be launched on Tuesday 4th of February during an evening attended by the Minister for Arts, and subsequently housed at the UCD Clinton Institute for American Studies in Belfield House. The arrival of the scroll at UCD was a combined effort of the Institute, the Department of Arts, Sports and Tourism, The Irish Times, UCD School of English, Drama and Film,

■■ Karina Bracken UCD Foundation and UCD Humanities Institute of Ireland. The exhibition will be open to the public until February 27th and entrance is free. Visit www. ucdclinton.ie for more details.

Arts Ball postponed Societies feel the pinch as ticket sales decline The Arts Ball has been postponed due to the fact not enough tickets have been sold, according the Arts Soc auditor Johnny Cosgrove. The ball was due to take place in the Burlington Hotel February 4th, but is said to happen at a later date in February in a different location. Cosgrave claims that many students were very interested in attend-

ing the ball and that it was the price of the tickets that dampened the sales. “There’s a huge amount of interest in it and there’s a great buzz about it, but people just don’t have money,” he says. He also said that the ball would not be cancelled due to widespread interest, but that the Arts Society committee are going to re-locate the function room in order to make the night more affordable. “I think we need to re-look

■■ Katie Godwin at the way these things are done, that’s why I sat back and said, right I want to make this cheaper”. The tickets which cost over €70 will be reduced considerably in price. This will be less profitable for the society but Cosgrave assures that student interest comes first regardless. “It’s all just for the students, and we’re all in the same boat. “Last year was completely different, college was really different as far as money goes,” he said. He believes that these type of events will be changed in future due to recessional times, stating “the next six months are really going to define how we do things” But Cosgrave claims that it isn’t just his society experiencing a downfall in ticket sales since last year. “I was talking to the auditors of some of the other societies and they feel the same. We just think that this year, organising these events has been a lot harder, and really it’s because we are all just economic victims”. Arts Society have taken all contact details of those who bought tickets and who booked tables and will be emailing those concerned confirming the rearrangement of the event. Students can hold on to their tickets and it will be valid for the next ball or they can be reimbursed in full.

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College Tribune | February 3rd 2009

News Investigations News

“Our piece of pie has shrunk” As President Brady outlines the need for budget belt tightening to a mixed response, Karina Bracken investigates Last Thursday lunchtime President Hugh Brady spoke to more than 1,000 of UCD’s 3,500 staff at a meeting in the O’Reilly Hall. Brady summoned the meeting to update them on the financial situation affecting the higher education sector, but particularly in the college. In front of the overflowing hall, Brady presented the college’s plan to weather the economic downturn and our own financial storm. He offered staff with a range of options to eliminate the deficit. Academics and administrative staff alike breathed a sigh of relief as Brady put paid to rumors of pay cuts and job losses for the immediate future. However he warned that the university must implement tough cost-cutting measures “to alleviate the unsustainable situation we find ourselves in.” In a slick P ow e rp o i nt presentation he explained the nature of the financial troubles and put forward a proposal to escape the monetary mess. It was widely reported in the papers last year that UCD had built up a deficit of €15 million. The president confirmed that this number could be up as far as €20 million by the end of the academic year. UCD has an annual turnover of €384 million and the deficit at present stands at approximately 5% of this total. Brady remarked that the college faces a difficult balancing act to put the university on a firm financial footing while maintaining the quality of its teaching and research. A number of factors had contributed to the deficit. Government funding in the higher education sector has dropped by almost €13 million this year alone. Plus state funding to the university has dropped due to the increase of undergraduates participating in Ireland’s other universities. Similarly, while UCD is still growing in student participation, funding per student has decreased. Brady explained that “our piece of the pie has shrunk”. The president’s re-branding of the university has cost millions of euro in funds. While projects such as UCD Horizons have proved largely successful, they have been costly to implement. Defending these actions, he said research income had tripled over the past five years and that UCD had climbed 111 places to rank 108 in a world university league table. However in the meeting he admitted “I do not care for ratings”. He stressed the fact that the college is the first choice for CAO preference and has 50% of Ireland’s PhD students. Brady said that funding for some of UCD’s programmes was lacking and in

need of immediate attention. He believes that under-funded centres such as Irish Folklore are integral to the universities’ contribution to the country’s rich history. Brady also stressed the importance of the veterinary medicine course – the only such course in Ireland. Due to the national pay awards agreed in October, wage increases have cost the university an added €15 million this year. Payroll accounts for 74% of costs and therefore it was made clear that it is a primary target for cost-cutting measures. The university’s proposal also involves improving the efficiency of administrative sector. Brady added that due to budget restrictions performance bonuses will be not paid out to the top people this year. While noting that it was a contentious issue, Brady did not elaborate on what would happen to the allowances paid to UCD’s uppermost staff members – including the president himself. Again he defended these allowances saying that there had to be attractive inducements for jobs that involve a high level of responsibility. Simple money-saving procedures such as turning of lights and computers when not required, sensible use of paper and supplies, the termination of non-essential travel and non-essential entertainment of guests were suggested. The university must generate more external funding and enhance the attractiveness of the college to fee-paying post grad and international students, he said. An ever controversial issue, a small amount of the deficit was attributed to the university’s investment in projects such as Gateway, which have dried up UCD's financial resources. He announced that the controversial project would not be put on hold but would continue at a slower pace. Brady stated ambiguously that Gateway was currently being funded by outside sources to the university, but some academics have questioned the verity of this. The SU Sabbatical officers attended the meeting, including President Aodhán Ó'Deá. Speaking afterwards he commented that Brady's speech was “well-presented and motivational but he brushed off some of the tough questions such as vice-presidents earning ridiculous amounts of money.” Brady ended his own speech on a positive note: “We have serious financial concerns to deal with, but UCD will not be distracted from our goal to be internationally recognised as a university of excellence.” Brady reminded the staff of the college’s obligation to create the leaders of the future. Quoting from Micheal Tierney he added that “The future of UCD is intertwined with an independent Ireland”.

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Interview with Dr. Kieran Allen

In an interview with the College Tribune, Dr Kieran Allen, senior lecturer in Sociology and President of UCD SIPTU Section Committee, refuted the blame placed on the public sector for the university's financial woes. Instead Allen accused the college authorities of “managerialism”. Since Brady’s accession to the presidency, fifteen Vice Presidents have been appointed. There has also been a series of controversial bonus payments for these senior staff. Allen believes that this is a corporate practice and that there is no place for it in the public sector. Allen is adamant that “we will not accept pay cuts. There has been a tendency in the national media to condemn the wage system of the public sector. This is being reflected in UCD. We are not highly paid and we do not constitute the root of the problem. Our members are just ordinary people with families to provide for and mortgages to pay.” He believes that it is to the uppers echelons of the industry and the decisions of those people, such as Dr Brady, that staff should be looking for answers from. Allen spoke about the letter sent last week by the college branch of SIPTU to Brady and the Governing Authority. On behalf of other members, Allen and Tommy Murtagh have expressed that “as major stakehold-

ers, both tax payers and employees, we seek transparency and accountability on how the current financial situation has unfolded in UCD.” Allen and Murtagh (among others) have a bone to pick with Brady. According to them, the financial troubles were in the making well before the economic downturn. Allen said that before the national budgetary cuts last October, SIPTU expressed serious concern about monetary problems on a number of occasions. “President Brady can’t just lump the problem of the college’s deficit in with the recession and the HEA cuts. This situation has been a few years in the making.” SIPTU reportedly received no answers to their questions in October. In the document sent to UCD authorities last week, hard-hitting questions were asked about the reasons for the current deficit. Allen and others want to know the state of UCD’s finances before Brady came to power. They want to know the sum of money contained in university reserves in 2003. They have asked Brady & co. to set out the key decisions have generated the huge deterioration in the financial situation of the university. SIPTU has requested full financial accounts for the staffing and running of UCD to meet its demand of transparency. “We believe that the staff

has a right to truthful and accurate information.” Allen biggest issue is with managerial structures. SIPTU wants the college authorities to probe into the appointment of senior managers. Many of these appointments have been made off scale according to Allen, and some are earning in excess of €200,000 per annum. Other requests include the end of hiring consultants, whose high costs are crippling college finances. The letter also sought truths in relation to the funding of the Gateway project such as the cost of planning to date and expected expenditure in the future. It expressed doubt about the project going ahead considering “the current stark economic situation, the cut in funding to all public sectors, and the superfluity of empty office space in Dublin.” During the meeting in the O’Reilly Hall Mary Buckley, a senior admin officer, pointed out that “those that got us into this mess are those now with the responsibility of getting us out if it”. However, staff that support Brady ultimately blame the university’s financial difficulties on the “continuous neglect by Government in the last number of years on funding for undergraduate teaching”.

Karina Bracken


v College Tribune | February 3rd 2009

News

University College Dublin

President’s Awards for Excellence in Student Activities You are invited to make a nomination for the President’s Awards for Excellence in Student Activities. The award scheme aims to provide recognition for those students who excel in extracurricular activities of a kind which make UCD a more exciting, interesting and humane place to live and work. Nomination Forms: Available from the Forum Office (Ext. 3100), Student’s Union and Services Desks. Any member of the College - either student or staff - can make a nomination. They should write, giving the nominee’s name and a short explanation of why they believe the nominee is worthy of an award. It is not necessary that the person nominated is aware of the nomination. Nominations, preferably typed, should be sent to:

The Director The Student’s Consultative Forum Student’s Centre They should be in an envelope marked ‘STUDENTS AWARDS’ and should reach the Forum office before: Wednesday, 18th February, 2009.

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College Tribune | February 3rd 2009

News

Opinion

FAUSTUS Back Supping with the devils Valentine’s day. For a correspondent as humble and learned as myself, this means one thing. All 22,000 students of this lairy concourse are blessed with the sight of five very lonely, desperately sad sabbatical lotharios. But more importantly, so much more importantly, to everyone but the real world that is- are the elections which are creeping up on us like ex-dates also on the love circuit this February 14th. The following conversation was witnessed by yours truly, between one Irish enthusiast, one El Presidente O Dea, and one presidential candidate very keen to bond with the others. Of course, the topic was elections. (This is the only topic for these hip youngsters). Candidate number one declared “I’ve heard of another who is definitely running for election”, he says with raised eyebrows, fervent eyes and breathless tones. O Dea looks down on him through glasses that should have stayed home last night. Genuine concern flits across his face. The touching moment lingers on. And the awkwardness sets in- and to be fair, this is a trait displayed in abundance by our ‘leader’, seen in his dropping every item he holds addressing council and

generally looking puzzled when four or five pretty little things couldn’t hold back the abundant laughter. He administers an almighty man slap to the back of the candidate, proclaiming gruffly, “You’re not worried now, no no...”. The response is breath-taking. Staccato, said with many glances around, come the words “to be honest.. I really pity anyone running against me.” Ever the humble politicial wannabes. The Irish enthusiast also present did not look too impressed. The name Paul Lynam popped up. But accidentally, of course. The three disbanded, clearly self alarmed at the words exchanged, for they had far reaching and deep consequences in the paths of these three. O Dea went back to doing some ridiculous dance on the concourse, hoping to god he was cool. Well sure his friends think he’s cool. All that matters. Don’t let the bullies get to you. Finally, how are our officers most likely to spend their Valentine’s Day? Aodhan will be in Wexford, he’s very close to getting his class rep deposit back rumour has it. O’Neill will take his other half to a powerpoint on how their future will never entail fees. Redmond will be taking his current squeeze to some Z class gig for free, Fingleton will make use of the supplies he cheaply supplied to the yabbering campus, maybe, and who’s left.... Oh, Lynam. Even Faustus won’t contemplate. Yours with no love, romance, or any of that,

A legal alien - An Irishwoman in New York I have been living in New York City since June 2003 teaching Irish. My father spoke Irish to me growing up in Dublin. I went to Scoil Naithí in Ballinteer then onto Coláiste Íosagáin in Stillorgan. I have such fond teenage memories of Coláiste Íosagáin. I feel it carved my character and was responsible for the strong passionate relationship I have with Irish today. I obtained my B.A. and M.A. in U.C.D and then left for the United States. I have been teaching Irish at The City University of New York and The Irish Arts Center in Manhattan since. I also write a weekly bi-lingual (Irish/English) column for The Irish Echo Newspaper about my life. I have written about everything from being a single girl in New York, the dating scene, my favourite bar in NYC which is Solas (9th Street between 2nd & 3rd Ave.) to my 101 year old Nana who still lives in Ballina, Mayo and how I miss my friends and family in Ireland as well as missing Superquinn rashers and sausages, Barry’s Tea, Hula Hoops and Malteasers but it’s the price you have to pay to live in New York! All my columns are written in Irish then translated into English. I wanted to prove that you can live in New York but speak and work through Irish everyday of your life. I hope to publish a book with a collection of my columns in the near future. I suppose my column is modelled on Carrie’s ‘Sex and the City’ column although they usually turn out more like Bridget Jones disasters as my love life has been a little unpredictable at times! I founded the Irish Arts Center’s ‘Gaelic Kids’ programme where children aged 5+ learn the Irish language as I feel teaching children Irish is the best possible way to ensure the Irish language continues to thrive both in Ireland and throughout the United

Elaine Ní Bhraonáin “The Irish language is alive and kicking but it has to be treated with the respect it deserves. It is not an archaic language, Irish is hot right now”

States of America. My ambition in life is to open an Irish language Elementary School in New York City. Children from all other nationalities can attend schools where they belong examples being, French, Chinese German Schools and where they can learn their native language so why not Irish? It would be an amazing opportunity for an Irish / Irish American child to be able to attend an Irish school in Manhattan. Presently, I am pursuing my Ph D though Queens University, Belfast on the subject of ‘The Irish Diaspora in New York’. It’s an exciting topic but I have a lot of work ahead of me. I have always said that “I want to do to the Irish language what Michael Flatley did for Irish dancing”. I live by the Irish language. It’s not simply a hobby but a way of life. The Irish language is alive and kicking but it has to be treated with the respect it deserves in order to keep it flowing naturally through future generations. In my opinion, part of being an Irish person is having respect for the language. It is not an archaic language, Irish is hot right now. It hasn’t been in such a good state for hundreds of years. People’s attitudes to Irish have changed but there still is a constant battle with it but hopefully this will continue to change. Afterall, can a person really call themselves ‘Irish’ without making some sort of an effort to learn and respect Ireland’s 1st official language? The President of Ireland, Mary McAleese became fluent in Irish as an adult and so can you, so brush up on the Irish that you have or if you don’t have any, now is the time to take a beginners course. Go n-éirí libh.


College Tribune | February 3rd 2009

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Editorial

College Tribune LG 18, Newman Building (Arts Block) or Box 74, Student Centre, UCD Email: collegetribune@gmail.com Tel: 01 716 8501 The College Tribune reserves the right to edit letters

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Last week, Hugh Brady addressed the academic masses, and put forth his plan to cut as much meat off university expenditure as possible. Everything from freezing the number of temporary staff in employment, to cutting the use of tea and biscuits were discussed. In many ways, the President is in a nowin situation, balancing a contracting budget with a unionised workforce. While SIPTU’s UCD workers quite rightly point out that they were not the architect of Ireland’s economic malaise, pay cuts may eventually result regardless. The most worrying aspect is that is current downturn may persist, and there are numerous economists of note predicting just that. However, a small number of decisions taken by the President’s inner circle need to questioned. The costly Gateway project is still proceeding. The justification for the continued progress for this project is that all the investment has come from third parties. This seems reasonable, but only if these monies are unable to be channeled into other, more pressing university projects. Furthermore, this project and others like it need to be transparent. The freedom of information act is a useful tool, but one would hope it should not be required in a place of academic endeavour. That ethos should always remain, although in 21st century Ireland, such hopes may be in vain.


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College Tribune | 3rd February 2009

News

Travel Why it’s hard to leave

San Sebastián

Anita Hyland traded the dull exterior of Belfield for an unforgettable Basque experience Closing my eyes I can see the sandstone bricks of the apartments, the smooth paving of the Plaza de Catalunia, the distinct white fencing that hugs the promenade of La Concha. I’m leaning on it in my mind, I’m there and I’m everywhere, roller-blading on a warm afternoon, a bit sweaty. The streets are empty, the children’s merry laughter has quietened and the wrinkled white haired pensioners are no longer squished four even five to a bench. Licking my lips there’s a salty taste, it’s from the sea. Sitting here in Belfield I can still smell that sea and taste that warm salty flavour and feel my cheeks burn gently from the sunny afternoon. It pulls me forward and weighs on my heart. I challenge you to go there and resist its charms and its simplicity. San Sebastián-Donostia is in the Basque Country, Northern Spain. It has a mere 200,000 inhabitants and even more reasons to make you fall in love with it. Get the idea of villas and ex-pat cardboard cut-out towns out of your mind. This is a traditional meets chic meets chilled community. The Basque country often gives rise to controversy due to a degree of political unrest, but it is fair to say that the sheer beauty of the town and the extraordinary quality of food and culinary delights available cannot be disputed. Back-packers stopping in San Sebastián on their European travels will often be heard saying ‘Im leaving in the morning’ yet more often than not a month later when you bump into them in a ‘pintxo’ bar they will tell you the very same thing. ‘Pintxos’ are more commonly known as tapas in Spain or savoury bar

snacks. Lo Viejo, the old part of the city adorns its bars with a bewildering array of mouth-watering options. La Cuchara de San Telmo and Astelano are just two bars which are not to be missed, but you can’t go wrong as there are about 80 pintxo bars in an area roughly the size of Temple Bar. Going on a pintxo crawl is an unforgettable experience, Just take care and

“Asking for the No.16 twenty times when it’s sold out will not get you the No.16, singing for it won’t work, neither will peeing your pants nor cycling into dustbins nor dislocating body parts. They really are tough cookies” order a zurrito, tiny beer, instead of a caña, glass of beer, with your food or your memory of it will be quite hazy. Traditional pintxos include jamón and béchamel croquettes, patatas bravas, wedge-like potatoes in a spicy sauce, or for the more adventurous foie with apple jelly, baby squid and many more. A pintxo will set you back a mere €2-3 and beats the socks off a bag of Taytos any day. The high standard of food in bars is no surprise with innovative chefs such as Juan Mari Arzak, Martín Berasategui and Pedro Subijana setting high standards for others in the cater-

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ing business. On the other hand, if you have saved up enough money and fancy visiting any of their three Michelin star restaurants, book well in advance and prepare to pay for a trip to foodie heaven. Some of my favourites though weren’t the pintxo bars at all, beside the surfer’s beach in Gros a little place called Campero gives you the finest chicken sandwich to none “Campero de pollo” washed down with a chilled caña. For vegetarians when you ask for the vegetarian sandwich, el vegetal, always tell the barman to take out the tuna, chicken and ham. You will be given a look that clearly translates that the barman thinks you are totally mentally deficient but brave it out and insist. Vegetarianism is a fairly foreign concept in this part of the world. There’s also a place on the main Boulevard called Kookie’s, more informally known as the-six-o-clock-inthe-morning-place. As the latter title suggests it’s where you find most of the Erasmus drunkards and party people on their way home drooling over the mother of all sandwiches, lettuce, tomato, bacon, chicken breast, fried egg and lashings of mayonnaise all in one toasted shell aka the No.16. Another advantage to this is that it isn’t too difficult to remember. Unfortunately the fellows who work there do have all the memory ca-

pacities that you at six o’ clock in the morning lack. Word of warning, don’t go in during sober hours or you might just have the misfortune of being reminded of your early hour drunken antics. Asking for the No.16 twenty times when it’s sold out will not get you the No.16, singing for it won’t work , neither will peeing your pants nor cycling into dustbins nor dislocating body parts, they really are tough cookies. Throughout the year there are all sorts of festivals and celebrations to keep you busy if you find lazing on the beaches too subdued. La Tamborrada on January 19th kicks off the craziness, young and old take to the streets donning soldier and chef costumes, marching relentlessly for 24hours, banging on drums and pots and pans. Then, when the young ones are tucked away for the night the adults lash the drink

into themselves, marching and singing and getting up to all sorts of antics, the atmosphere is infectious. You won’t know the words but leaping around the place banging a pot with one hand and slugging from a bottle with the other, while believing you can now speak fluent Basque will never before have seemed like such a great idea, until the next morning that is. From the end of January to the beginning of April cider season erupts in Northern Spain, although Asturius is more famous for its quality of natural cider, the Basques refuse to let them have all the fun. The good cider houses are located a taxi-ride away from the city and an evening in one involves grabbing your friends and minimal planning. Standing around a wooden

Drop into us at Bank of Ireland Montrose Student Store (opposite the UCD flyover) or call 01 2611320

Terms and conditions apply to the USA and Canada flight offer (excluding taxes and charges). To qualify for the USA and Canadian flight voucher applicants must have opened or upgraded their 3rd level student account between the 4th of August 2008 and the 30th of November 2008. Applicants must also use their 3rd level account 10 times each month (including one online top up per month) between 1st November 2008 and 31st January 2009. Applicants must be in first year college. This offer is available until stocks last (5,000 flights available). Bank of Ireland does not accept responsibility for availability or services provided by promoter WIN WIN Ltd. Terms and conditions apply to all 3rd level student current accounts. Applicants must be over 18 years of age. Bank of Ireland is regulated by the Financial Regulator.

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College Tribune | 3rd February 2009

table, traditionally you share from one main plate. Courses consist of salad, salted cod omelettes, big juicy steaks, cheese and bread and it’s just an appley blur after that. Between each course and sometimes as the night progresses, each forkful, your group will skedaddle out the back to the giant barrels of cider where an employee uncorks the barrelled sea of cider and lets it gush out like a peeing boy. Tilting your glass to catch a mouthful or twos worth while letting the natural fizz release, you quickly knock it back and get back in line for more with shouts of “txotx”, pronounced tchotch. After an evening of drinking and eating you get a taxi back into town for more drinking. Beware though, while your head may think you’re ok, your brain may tend to forget to tell your legs and you are likely to end up wobbling

Travel

your way back home to bed repeating to anybody who’ll listen ”Hai tchhusssht duhnuh wahtchup whhh mhuh legsh buht mhuh huhds tchhusssht ffhhain!” Hot on its heels from the 19-24th of February is Carnivales in Tolosa, a small town just outside San Sebastián, this is another week long party teamed with dressing up and copious amounts of alcohol or integration as I prefer to call it. Entertainment is always round the corner, from the 21-26th of July the Jazz Festival organises up to 60 performances from the likes of legends such as Joe Cocker, Ahmed Jamal and anybody who is somebody in the world of jazz. If your funds are coming to an end you can

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sit back with a few beers and enjoy free concerts on the beach under a starry sky. Of course these events attract a lot of bohemian-hippy types so don’t be surprised when somebody you have just met lights up a joint and passes it your way. Smoking marijuana seems to be a grey area in most parts of the region. My experiences there have confirmed that both in urban and rural areas, feelings towards the use of this drug are much more liberal than

Beware though, while your head may think you’re ok, your brain may tend to forget to tell your legs and you are likely to end up wobbling your way back home to bed repeating to anybody who’ll listen

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in Ireland. Although its sale is illegal, it can be bought over the counter in some businesses and is often openly smoked in public places, in fact, entering some bars can be more like walking into a life-size bong. But you will have plenty of bars to choose from so avoiding that is not too difficult. Semana Grande, big week, is all that and more. It takes place in early August and incorporates a world class fireworks competition into each night of the weeklong summer celebration. I can still feel the loud booms reverberate in my chest and the memories of it get my adrenalin pumping even now, echoing through the city and filling the sky with lights which reflect and fall into the sea. It’s truly spectacular. Another notoriously popular event, the annual Film Festival, on September 17-26th, means you can enjoy some great world cinema and even meet stars such as Roberto De Niro, John Malkovich, Matt Dillon, Steven Spiel-

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berg along with many others. If you’re bold enough, try walking down the red carpet of the Kursaal for yourself, waving at the fans, convincing locals that you are a VIP and giving autographs. The organisers have a sense of humour. Staying healthy is a personal choice and made easy by the reasonably good climate and the wide variety of sports on offer. Surfing is a big one and there are a few good surf-schools which give lessons or where you can just rent a board by the hour or for a day. For the serious surfers the Billabong Pro Mundaka surf championship from October 5-17th, 2009 takes place just a bus ride down the coast towards Bilbao. There are more surf-schools across the French border in Biarritz and in Hossegor which is further north and also holds The Quiksilver Pro France from September 23rd to October 4th. Daredevils could try cliff-jumping beside the surfer’s beach or para-gliding from Mount Igeldo in the city. If you are after something a little more down to earth, try cycling or mountain-biking around the mountainous landscape. Enjoy the cliff walk from Gros to the quaint villages of San Pedro-San Juan. This is good preparation for anybody embarking on the Camino De Santiago pilgrimage route of 800km+ across northern Spain. Mountaineers and rock-climbing enthusiasts will have plenty to cheer about as the Basque mountains and the Pyrennes have plenty of accessible routes. Adequately marked maps and guidebooks are easy to get your hands on and locals will love you for showing an interest. The way to a Basque person’s heart is via a shared love of mountains and food. Opening my eyes, remembering all the many more cultural events and memorable moments and characters, and the conclusion is a simple one. It doesn’t matter whether you manage to leave Donostia-San Sebastián or not because the experience never will.

Drop into us at Bank of Ireland Montrose Student Store (opposite the UCD flyover) or call 01 2611320

Terms and conditions apply to the USA and Canada flight offer (excluding taxes and charges). To qualify for the USA and Canadian flight voucher applicants must have opened or upgraded their 3rd level student account between the 4th of August 2008 and the 30th of November 2008. Applicants must also use their 3rd level account 10 times each month (including one online top up per month) between 1st November 2008 and 31st January 2009. Applicants must be in first year college. This offer is available until stocks last (5,000 flights available). Bank of Ireland does not accept responsibility for availability or services provided by promoter WIN WIN Ltd. Terms and conditions apply to all 3rd level student current accounts. Applicants must be over 18 years of age. Bank of Ireland is regulated by the Financial Regulator.

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College Tribune | 3rd February 2009

Features News

Dear Tabatha I saw this amazing woman last week in Tesco. She had short, glossy dark hair, well- defined features, charcoal knee-length coat with black high heels that looked positively lethal. I followed her all around Tesco, all around the meat section, the fruit section. We exchanged intense looks, I think. I helped her reach for her sanitary pads on the top shelf. I think she really appreciated that. I then decided to watch her from afar as she paid for her items. And with that she was gone. I couldn’t get her off my mind, and I posted a thread on Gumtree describing her in 500 words to try and find her. I’ve had no luck. I’m sure I’m going crazy. I’m sure she liked me. I mean I’m a nice guy. With a nice car. What should I do?

floor and I knew the moment had actually arrived. I had been waiting for this moment for a number of months so sadly my condom which I had in my wallet was dried and brittle. It ripped upon the first thrust. I freaked out and she started crying. In a haze of panic, I ran straight down the stairs, out the door, down the road and attempted to clear a wall but landed on my face and broke several teeth. Now my big problem is thisshe must be pregnant?

Lovesick Shopper Dear Lovesick Shopper: The answer is very obvious, its surprising you haven’t thought of it so far. Get your hands on the CCTV footage. Print her picture with a caption saying “wanted for the theft of my heart” and with your contact details. Or maybe try this “wanted for trousal arousal”. That might work better. Ladies love to be pursued. In a really obvious way.

Slick Rick Dear Slick Rick, She’s definitely pregnant. But you’re toothless. I think that’s worse. You’re going to make an ugly dad.

Dear Tabatha, Dear Tabatha,

My boyfriend dumped me last week. He said it was because I still refuse to sleep with him after all this time. We’ve been going out three weeks. I think I really loved him, and I’m devastated. He got off with the girl next door apparently. Is there any way I can get him back?

I don’t know if I am sending this to the right person in the paper, but I cannot seem to find my Children’s Literature module class. Any idea where it is? Lost UCD student

Lonely reader

Dear Lost UCD student, I get this question all the time. It’s pretty near the main entrance. Hope this helps.

Dear Lonely reader, What’s wrong with you? Three weeks is an eternity. Poor guy. You should call him up and apologise.

Dear Tabatha, I am seeing this girl, and things so far have been going great, She’s high maintenance though, and I know that she is expecting great things for Valentines Day. I don’t know how to let her know that I actually lost my job recently, and actually can’t afford very much. I couldn’t afford my rent and am now living with my parents again. Is there anyway I can do Valentines on the cheap- without her ever having a notion? Broke Romeo

Dear Tabatha…. Dear Broke Romeo There are many, many ways to do this, and she will never ever know! Firstly, say you’re going to meet her at hers, as you have no yours. Then craftily sneak into the Kitchen and throw those excellent Centra pizzas in the oven. Cooking wine is so much cheaper. Make her down it first so she doesn’t realise, as she’ll be a bit sauce-faced. She’s a girl- the chances are she wanted something

that smells nice or jewelry. Buy her a car freshener and place it lovingly around her neck. Presto, something that smells divine and adorns her lovely neck (tell her this). Do this all in very quick succession, people don’t notice things as well when they happen real fast. All this will be quite effective. And don’t forget to pick some piss in the beds on the way up. You guys are going to last a long time, I can sense it.

Dear Tabatha, I’ve got a really big problem. I’m 17 and my girlfriend is 15 and we’ve been seeing each other for a good few months. We both live with our parents so when we were finally alone at a house-party, it seemed like the time was right. That said she was paralyzed with alcohol. I was fairly tipsy myself. Following a romantic fumble in the dark, she fell to the

I’ve been texting this guy I like but recently he stopped replying to my msgs, should I keep texting him anyway? Textylishus Dear Textylishus You should definitely keep texting him, guys love girls that are keen. Maybe you should ring him aswell?...


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College Tribune | 3rd February 2009

Features

A hidden history of UCD Part Five: The Battle of Belfield Sam McGrath retells a dusty tale buried in the UCD analls UCD’s ‘official’ history is detailed in the President’s Office section of the UCD website. Presented as a timeline, it deals only with formal, ceremonious events such as the completion of the Water Tower in 1972 or the transfer of the Agriculture faculty to Belfield in 1979. In doing so, it ignores UCD’s rich social, often radical, history. Many of these stories are now just echoes and shadows around Belfield campus today with no plaques to mark their importance. One event that has been long overlooked is the so-called ‘Battle of Belfield’, a riot that saw UCD students and members of the Gardai fight pitched battles up and down the concourse outside the Arts Block and restaurant. It can be argued that it was Belfield’s most large-scale political serious disturbance to date. In January 1975, Taoiseach Liam Cosgrave visited Belfield to have lunch with the college’s president Dr. Thomas Murphy, the US Ambassador to Ireland Mr. John D. Moore and an American multi – millionaire businessman, Mr. Edward Ball, who was in UCD to present a cheque of $100,000 (£42,000) towards the cost of financing a new Chair of American History Ball, a descendant of the first United States president, George Washington, made the presentation on behalf of the I. du Pont Foundation of which he was a Director. UCD’s Student’s Representative Council (predecessor to the Students Union) decided to picket the function “in protest at the proposed fifty per cent increase in fees in the university and cutbacks in maintenance and tuition” recently implemented by authorities. The UCD Republican Club and other students saw the visit of the Taosieach as an opportune moment to also protest about wider issues such as the “failure to grant political status to prisoners in this country.” Betty Purcell, who was vice president of the Students Representative Council at the time, remembers that students “gathered on the steps of the Arts building and (outside the) canteen”. While student protests in Belfield were fairly common, many students were shocked by the amount of Special Branch men policing the demonstration.

As the Irish Times reports, the first sign of trouble came when the Special Branch “discovered that the tyres of two of their cars had been deflated”. In response, they called for gardai reinforcements from Donnybrook station. Purcell feels that in general the protest was all in “fairly good spirits until there was an attempt to arrest some students, which caused people to become quite angry and upset.” An attempt to overturn an unattended Special Branch car led to a Garda baton charge. Three female students were injured in what an SRC statement de-

scribed as an “indiscriminate” attack. Running scuffles led to at least one garda being injured and requiring treatment for arm injuries in nearby St. Vincent’s Hospital. The Irish Times accounts how the Taoiseach had to finish up his lunch early to be “led out a back door and driven away in a private car”. An SRC statement which was released later that evening called the presence of gardai on campus “a challenge to academic freedom … which only inflamed the situation” and dryly noted that “if the Taoiseach feels he needs an escort everywhere he goes, he

should refrain from making public appearances”. Purcell, now a Television producer in RTÉ, felt that the altercation with the police “did serve to radicalise many students who up to that day would have naturally regarded the Gardai as a friendly force”. College Authorities tried to suspend individual students for their involvement in the protests but this was not pursued after interventions from the Student Representative Council. Four days after the riot, 300 students protested against the Minister for Foreign Affairs, Dr. Garret Fitzgerald who was in

UCD to attend a meeting of the university’s Fine Gael cumann. Over a hundred students entered the room to ask the Minister questions about the Government’s recent proposals for higher education and the UCD authorities’ recent warning of a possible 50% increase in fees. A day later, 50 students occupied the Administration Building for over 12 hours to protest against the threatened fees increase. You’re not likely to find these events or any like them in the ‘official’ account of the history of our college. It’s up to us to collate and retell them.

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Volume xxii issue viII

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“I’m so evil, I even use a live lamb for a scarf” This week Viagra spill reported “to have raised more than a few eyebrows” Parochial House to be moved: Local Primary Schools notified Mass-murdering turned suicidal clown deemed to have had the last laugh Travelling detective looks into open and shut case Apple n.i. Set to launch I-prod orange Failing kebab industry looks towards ‘relaunch’ strategy

Bearded Roy Keane stopped at JFK On Saturday morning a bearded Roy Keane was stopped while trying to enter the United States at JFK in Queens, New York. Security Officials at the airport stated that Keane was stopped due to his gruff manner and striking resemblance with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. “Mr. Keane was detained following an outburst at U.S Customs. Mr. Keane when asked had he anything to declare launched into a rant in what was thought to be middle-eastern dialect. This coupled with his appeareance prompted the Security Officials to detaine Mr. Keane.” Announced a rather beleagured Airport Spokesperson, “The language he was speaking was later discovered to have been English with a heavy Irish regional accent.” The former Irish Captian has been linked with a move to the MLS following his unshocking departure from Sundireland. However this recent development has resulted in Keane hopping straight back on a plane to his home in Manchester. Serious questions are now being asked of U.S border control who have been criticised in the past for stopping everyone sporting a beard and sallow skin at customs. The Spokeperson assured press officials, “Keane was detained not on the basis of race but of his apparent ethnicity” She also went on to add that “In the process of being detained, Keane injured three Security Officials, one of whom has suffered a potentially career ending injury.” Keane was unavailable for comment.


College Tribune | 3rd February 2009

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Student Assistance Fund Applications are now being accepted for the Student Assistance Fund. Application forms are available for download from the web. Please note that this fund is means tested and all applications must be submitted to: Ann O’Hanlon, Student Advisor, School of Computer Science and Informatics, Health Science Centre, Belfield Only Fully completed forms, together with relevant supporting documentation will be considered Closing date: 12 Noon, Friday 20th February


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College Tribune | 3rd February 2009

News Sport

Marian dismissed at the death UCD Marian stumbled once again at a crucial time of the season following an absorbing 99-89 defeat to Neptune of Cork after overtime in Belfield last Sunday. Despite the fact that Marian were missing key players such as Dan James, Gary Edge and Peter Finn, the UCD side actually looked to be dominating the match going into the last quarter, only to let another late collapse cost them the match. “We didn't play very well,” admitted Marian's second top-scorer Conor Meany afterwards, “We had a lot of injuries going into the game, but we still had a great chance to win the game and consolidate our second place spot.” Although fatigue would have been an easy explanation for the Belfield side, Meany was having none of it - “If today was the first time we lost a match late on, I'd say it was tiredness. But we've been doing

■■ Bryan Devlin this since the start of December so we have to work an awful lot harder now.” The first quarter saw both sides exchanging scores at a fierce rate, with UCD being slightly more wasteful with their opportunities. Marian's David Ryan started the game in the same style that he would for the rest of the match, contributing with a few two-pointers and an excellent threepointer. However, he found his match in the American Vincent James who stormed through Marian's defence at a worrying ease before slotting the ball into the basket on four separate occasions. Going into the second quarter with a two point deficit, the Belfield side

rallied somewhat with some excellent shooting from both Meany and Conor James, who made a big impact when he came on with an outstanding three-pointer and two-pointer under pressure. Neptune never let Marian get more than a five point lead over them and with the help of some magnificent three-pointers from Ger Noonan, the Cork side never let Marian out of their sights. A late flurry of points from Meany and Ryan meant Marian led at half-time by 49-44. Within three minutes of the restart, it appeared that UCD were going to finally convert their apparent dominance into scores as the dynamic duo of Meany and Ryan once again tore the Neptune defence to shreds. Slick passing and accurate shooting, especially from Ryan, seemed to take over as Marian raced into an 11 point lead

halfway through the quarter. Once again, Neptune refused to stay down following UCD dominance, with scores from the Americans James and Ed Millard ensuring the gap between the sides had been cut down to a measly five points by the end of the quarter. The final quarter started with both sides playing frantically, however, worryingly for UCD both James and Millard seemed to be strolling through their defence and scoring on nearly every occasion. By the third minute of the quarter, James put the Cork side back in the lead for the first time since the first quarter following an intercepted pass and breakaway. Just when things were going right for

Neptune, UCD's luck seem to've run out completely as shots from Ryan and Meany flirted with the basket on several occasions, without ever going in. Marian would then suffer a crucial blow midway through the quarter when top-scorer Ryan was fouled out following two offensive fouls quickly in succession. The initial impact of this was devastating as both James and Millard were getting through the UCD defence with greater ease now, building up a seven point lead for their side. The pressure of being the new talisman fell on the shoulders of Meany, who virtually carried his side single handedly for the remainder of the

He’s the Colman Hanley meets the man charged to get UCD back into the top flight Following his appointment as new U.C.D. soccer manager, Martin Russell spoke exclusively to the College Tribune’s Colman Hanley. Following Pete Mahon’s departure by mutual consent, U.C.D. A.F.C’s board of management moved quickly to appoint 41 year old Martin Russell. Russell was Pete Mahon’s assistant during his tenure at the club and has a wealth of experience from his playing career in both England and Ireland. Russell signed for Manchester United from Belvedere as a 15 year-old but his spell at Old Trafford proved unsuccessful. Russell had loan spells at Birmingham City and Norwich City before joining Leicester City permanently. Russell made 20 appearances for the Foxes (1987-1989) before moving to Scarborough. (His transfer fee of £102,000 remains a record transfer fee for Scarborough F.C.)

The Dubliner made 50 appearances for Scarborough before joining Middlesborough in 1990. But he only stayed there for a year before returning home. Russell played with Portadown for 8 years before finishing his career at Saint Patrick’s Athletic. ‘Rusty’ won 2 leagues, a league cup, a Leinster Senior Cup and the F.A.I. Super Cup while also playing in the Champions League against Glasgow Celtic and Zimbru Chisinau (Moldova), and in the Intertoto Cup against H.N.K. Rijeka (Croatia) and K.A.A. Gent (Belgium). After so many years experience, Russell jumped at the chance to take up his first senior managerial post and outlined his plan to strengthen U.C.D.’s scholarship programme. ‘There was a void when Pete left the club and the board were looking to maintain as much stability within the club as possible. So when they came to me and

asked me to takeover as manager, I was delighted to be given the opportunity. The financial impact of relegation last year means the budget has been reduced and we the exit of last year’s senior players. We also want to keep the scholarship system, which the club holds dearly, running smoothly so we’re going to give the 6 new scholars and the other youngsters a chance in the first team. Russell has a massive re-building job ahead of him as many of last years seniors have left the club. Most recently it was confirmed Matt Gregg has left to join Bohemians for a nominal fee while Pat McWalter has chosen to return to the Wicklow Gaelic Football set-up. Russell admitted the current squad is small and that he was looking to rectify that. ‘We have about 10 scholarship players, Ronan Finn as our only professional, and the amateur play-


College Tribune | 3rd February 2009

match. With just seconds to go, Meany, who managed to bring the deficit back to two points, had the opportunity to steal the match from Neptune at the death with three free throws. After slotting the first one with little bother, Meany missed his second but held his nerve to force the game into overtime with a successful third free throw. Despite this great display of calmness under pressure from Meany, his impact in this match would prove to be in vain as Neptune seized full control of the match in overtime. “With David off, myself and my partner were getting a lot of attention as we were the only ones who were really scoring,” acknowledged Meany,

“and because of this they were able to close out the game.” Although the referees' decisions seem to be getting increasingly erratic by the end, and seeminlgy benifiting the Cork outfit, there was still only going to be one winner of this contest as James, Millard and Noonan all ensured Neptune would go back to Cork with the three points. Marian remain in second place in the Northern Conference with three games remaining, six points behind DART Killester. With a double bill next weekend against the Ulster Elks of Jordanstown and Hoops of Tallaght, two wins are surely necessary for the Belfield side to progress into the Superleague playoffs.

gaffer ers from last year’s A Championship team. Therefore we’re looking to sign sign a few senior lads in the next few weeks to give us some experience.’ While the transfer front hasn’t been ideal, matters on the pitch started well for Russell as U.C.D. beat Queens University Belfast 6-0 in the quarter final’s of The Colleges and University League through goals from Eoin Roche, Dwayne Wilson, Sean Geoghegan, Peter McMahon and 2 from the impressive David McMillan. Russell was positive after the victory and gave special mention to McMillan. ‘It was a great win and the new scholars were very good so now we can look forward to a semi-final. The way Dave McMillan has been going in preseason, I’m sure he’ll be fighting for a place in the first team.’ Russell is in the middle of preparations for the upcoming college competitions and also for the beginning of the First Division campaign in March. ‘The freshers are in the Harding Cup on Thursday 4th of February vs N.U.I.

Galway and after that we’ll be participating in the Collingwood Cup. Therefore there will be plenty of football taking place over the next while so the lads will all get a chance to play. The opposition in this year’s First Division will be very strong. It’s a challenge the team and backroom staff are looking forward to and it’ll be great for some of the lads to play against the likes of Sporting Fingal, Shelbourne, Waterford and Finn Harps. We’ve got to realise though that we’ve to be patient with some of the young lads as their consistency levels can dip at times. However they’ll get plenty of encouragement from me to do well for U.C.D., so hopefully we can have a successful season and challenge for honours.’ The next couple of months ahead are sure to be challenging for Russell and everyone at U.C.D. A.F.C. However with a young and talented coach in charge, U.C.D. again may take a lot of teams by surprise and punch above their weight. Watch this space closely.

Sport

19

Six goal spanking ■■ Jordan Daly The holders sent a confident message to the remaining teams in the Colleges and Universities Football League Premier Division quarter finals in Belfield last Wednesday afternoon. The blues gave the northerners a thumping with six goals from open play that cut the defence to shreds. The tenacious UCD scholarship student Dave McMillan, brother of first team regular Evan got the show underway just under the ten minute mark. A perfectly timed through ball from influential Peter McMahon set up McMillan to slot his effort in the corner after easily outstripping the Queens backline. McMahon showed his calibre in each of the first three goals with two assists and a back heel volley that made scoring look ridiculously easy. The first half was played almost entirely in the Queens half with the home team playing silky one touch football. The formidable Eoin Roche controlled the left side of midfield with Queens being stretched to breaking point and on thirty five minutes the pressure payed off again as Mick Kelly chipped a ball over the top on the right for McMahon who ploughed through to the line and delivered a vicious cross to the back post which was smashed in with the head of Roche after a tussle with right back Declan O’Donnell. The visitors from Belfast had a bright start to the second half with striker Conor Mulholland taking it around Cian Byrne but failed to get a shot away cleanly. In a counter attack moments later rising star for UCD Dwayne Wilson stretched his legs down left wing showing his scintillating speed. His cross was whipped in low and hard leaving a slick flick of the back heel from McMahon to make it three on fifty five minutes. Kevin Briggs hit the upright later and James Gardiner was on target in the air from a corner but at three nil the game looked out of reach for the frustrated Ulster side. John Dineen and Evan McMillan were too strong and had abundant pace in defence for the home

UCD

Queens

6 0

Belfield side ensuring a clean sheet and winning everything in the air. Dave McMillan got his second with twenty to go after chasing down and stealing the ball off the toe of full back O’Donnell. He calmly skipped past the defender and keeper Alan Mitchell to tap home from close range. Wilson got a similar goal on eighty five minutes. A long ball over the top made the defenders panic, and his shot was buried in the far corner with the inside of the boot. McMillan rounded off a sterling performance with a penetrating run in from the right wing and a driven cross along the goal mouth which substitute Sean Geoghegan latched onto as he slid into the net to make it a convincing six. Star striker with a brace on the day, Dave McMillan put the win down to persistence and great leadership; “It was a good match, it’s great to get

through. It’s always a tough competition. The Queens side are a tough crowd but I think they got a bit disheartened in the second half. We got a few goals early on and their heads dropped which allowed us to push on in attack. Early in the second half they had a bit of pressure but once we got the third and fourth goals we cruised to the win.” “You have got to look at Martin Russell who has the first team job now. He’s a fantastic influence to look up to as a former league of Ireland player. It’s good to have people like that taking care of the team.” Post match Manager Diarmuid McNally commented on the tactics at work, ”We played a four-four-two formation that was more geared towards attack. Our wide players are generally forwards so we almost had for up front with two holding in midfield. We took a bit of a gamble in trying to catch them early and it payed off. We go the early goal and that was very important because I think if it had stayed nil all and turned into a battle it could have become a bit tricky but fortunately the all out attacking tactics worked and we got the goals.” He highlighted three key players “Dwayne Wilson plays for our Leinster senior league team. They are performing well at the moment; they have qualified for the first round of the FAI Cup through the Intermediate Cup. Peter McMahon is a new Scholarship player from Drogheda United. Dave McMillan is another who rose through the ranks of the Leinster Senior League team and has now got a scholarship and Dave and Peter would both be knocking close to the first team when we kick off in a few months.“ “We have won the competition the last two years running but it’s been tough. We’ve had extra time, penalty shoot outs and we certainly won’t have another score line like today.” UCD go into a CUFL Premier Semi final clash on 12th February along with UCC, Letterkenny IT, and Limerick I.T.


Sport

Thumped UCD dismiss Queens Match Report Page 19

Issue 8 | Volume 22 | 3rd February 2009

Overtime upset UCD go down to Neptune: Page 18


inside

national styles page 8

Amanda palmer

Bodiesthe exhibition page 12

page 4

They’ve ‘dung it now

n e r i S the

podge and rodge Page 6

College Tribune Arts & Culture Supplement | 03.02.09


Siren Music the

2

College Tribune | 3rd February 2009

Review: Bruce springsteen

Boss fails to assert authority Apart from one or two gems on Working On A Dream, the already sold out dates for Dublin in July would do well to steer clear of any of the unmoving, passionless love songs from this the sixteenth studio album from the Boss. Springsteen’s back catalogue is incredible and his last studio album Magic was decent but this is boring in comparison. However, there are two fantastic songs; This Life, which harkens back to the spectral 60’s sound of the Beach Boys, Byrds, Beatles, Roy Orbison and Phil Spector with vocal harmonies, and the masterful epic folk song Outlaw Pete, which stands alone as the only manly, dry-eyed story of native Americans, spurs and guns. An eight-minute, crescendo- embroidered boot-stomper of a tune has the whine of a harmonica and the wail of the Boss. The final lines are the soaring lyrics of an aged song writer, “Can you hear me?” Said to display a softer side of the Boss, songs like Life Itself and Kingdom Of Days are merely cringeworthy with lines like “You were life itself”, and “I love you, I love you , I love you, I do.” The drawn out love songs are impotent and filled with indecipherable guitar-overlapping, as well as a generic pop sound. The worst of all is Queen Of The Supermarket, which is as mundane and commercial as the title suggests. Behind its in-

nocent exterior lies a perverse infatuation with a checkout girl, “The way she moves behind the counter,” “I’m in love with the queen of the supermarket.” The backdrop to this bizarre love song is a domain of brash and tasteless consumerism, ”where aisles and aisles of dreams await you.” Surprise Surprise, What Love Can Do and My Lucky Day are all indistinctive, cheesy and unmemorable. The Last Carnival is a heartfelt tribute to the passing of keyboard player Danny Federici. The soft acoustic guitar and nostalgia of the lyrics, “We won’t be dancing together on the high wire, Facing the lines with you at my side, oh no.” The last song is the eponymous anthem for the film The Wrestler. It’s Bruce at his best, with loneliness and despair dripping from each line and a questioning that draws in the listener while the piano and guitar lament the loss of dreams. The title track, Working On A Dream may be linked to the hope and optimism of the new Obama presidency but taken alone as a song it fails to stir the blood like an Obama speech and has no balls musically. In total, this album mixes the beauty of self-conscious mortality with the sleaziness of love songs gone wrong.

working on a dream

hhhhh

JORDAN DALY

the Rifles

white lies

great escape

to lose my life

Yawn. That’s the first thought when you listen to the Rifles. Yet another indie rock band with yet more bland tunes. It’s not that there is anything technically faulty about the Great Escape – it’s just that, well, we’ve heard it all before. The Rifles sound uncannily like Hard-Fi, except worse. There is also a bit of The Strokes thrown in there just for good measure. In a way they resemble The Coronas, aping every half decent band in the last decade and mashing it together to make their own muddled sound. It’s not all bad though. Oh wait, it is. The lead single from the album, Science In Violence, sounds exactly like something We Are Scientists would shit out in the morning after their breakfast. History is a whiny song that any number of indie bands could squeeze out. Winter Calls is just another razorlight-lite song. It’s almost sickening

Bruce springsteen

to think that this lot actually reckon they might be any good. The only compliment that can be paid to this miserable excuse for a band is the fact that this album will fortunately sink into obscurity and will never be heard again. Nonetheless, there isn’t anything inherently wrong with it, if you like lazy, unimaginative, spurious, tedious music, but there are other bands out there that will actually make an effort to stand out from the crowd to make innovative interesting music. It’s your choice though. BRIAN MAHON

hhhhh

This bloody new wave revival will not just piss off. White Lies, who’ve recently topped a load of ‘SO huge in 2009’ features, follow close in the footsteps of Santogold, We Have Band and the Ting Tings in refusing to leave the 80’s where they were best left. What supposedly makes this lot edgy is that instead of singing about dancing and being famous their metier is crafting melodramatic songs about death. This is a whole album of Jenny Was A Friend of Mine without the irony – that’s right kids; goth-EnoNMEmo. Urgh. And while we’re in the neighbourhood, what in God’s name is going on with the British music scene? It’s not as if any of the trends coming from the States right now are utterly original but at least they take their influences – folk, grunge, classic rock – and do something with them; the Brits just wear the skinny jeans. Any scene where the

All American rejects When the world comes down

Pigeon Detectives and the Wombats are visible is in shit. The pity is that there are some songs here; opener Death has a great chorus and From The Stars would be a very decent Depeche Mode imitation if it wasn’t about a post-funeral suicide. When Tom Waits sings about murders and suicides you believe he might’ve been in the room for a few and when Rob Smith wrings his hands it’s believable because, in fairness, look at the head on him. These lads were in a poppy indie band before they redirected sharply so the angst just doesn’t ring true. DIARMUID LAFFAN

hhhhh

“I wanna, I wanna, I wanna touch you/You wanna touch me too”. Indeed. How marvellously insightful, nay profound. Lyrical garbage like this, from When The World Comes Down’s opening track, I Wanna, ruins much of the All-American Rejects’ efforts on this, their third studio album. Which is a shame, really, as such emotastic dirge conceals the fact that these guys can summon a thoroughly catchy tune – when they put their minds to it. Where their self-titled debut had its ambitious-yet-accessible My Paper Heart and The Last Song, WTWCD can merely muster up the clichéd first single Gives You Hell and monstrously awful Damn Girl. The production on this record is solid, but the tracks themselves lack spark and feel dated somehow. This in spite of the spirited use of orchestral instruments – accompaniments that seem out of place when paired with the

often-substandard songwriting of the group themselves. Nonetheless, this collection does have the odd song that can stand alongside this Oklahoma pop-punk outfit’s previous work. Breakin’ rips along at a nice pace, Fallin’ Apart is a class apart – the bouncing piano and jaunty strings oddly reminiscent of Dexy’s Midnight Runners. When The World Comes Down doesn’t quite hit the heights of its predecessors, but if the All-American Rejects’ not-so-unique brand of filtered, radio-friendly, broken-relationship pathos caught your ear with their previous efforts then it’s a fair bet that this will appeal to you.

SEBASTIAN CLARE

hhhhh


neriS eht

College Tribune | 3rd February 2009

Music

3

Moving up the Social Circuit Heather Landy recently caught up with up and coming unsigned act, Social Circuit in advance of their single launch in Radio City to discuss the birth of Social Circuit, their plans for the future and being political in the musical sense It’s a Wednesday evening and in a small recording studio in Dublin’s City Centre, Social Circuit are busily rehearsing not only for their single launch next month but also in advance of a number of confirmed gigs where spectators will be able to hear the new material which has been evolving ever since the band’s formation last summer. After fifteen minutes of listening to the previously unheard material, we finally ask the group a number of questions, getting the inside scoop on one of Dublin’s undiscovered musical gems. The first burning question has to be how did Social Circuit as a musical collective come to fruition? Lead singer and guitarist, Sean Arthur enlight-

ens us with a brief history of their beginnings, “Myself and Mick (drummer) were in a band that played after school, as you know as time progresses and members disperse, concentrate on their studies…we decided to continue on with a new band, Conor (guitarist) invited himself to join with Andy (bass/synths) proving a later addition to the musical makeup of the band.” However Arthur continues and ascertains that “Andy’s position was temporary at first, minimal tension lurking in the early stages upon Andy’s arrival… myself and Conor were anxious to record as much as possible…nowadays we rehearse pretty regularly… we have been rehearsing here [Loop

Studios] since last year.” On the subject of recording down the country as a number of bands have been accustomed to lately; “We don’t want to gig down the country, associate with country folk,” he jokes. In addition, the band stresses the importance of democracy in a band, where opinions are shared and utilised into the musical structure, “it is important to be democratic as possible, everyone should have a say, we always seem to figure out a way so that everyone is happy.” However, like any band, Social Circuit has had to face problems when it comes to a musical direction. Conor muses, “When it comes to deciding a cover it is usually a three to one verdict.” Of course there is ultimately an upside to this, “the fact that everyone has different opinions creates a variety of music.” Already, Social Circuit have played in a number of venues including the Boom Boom Room and Radio City with an up and coming date in Whelan’s on the 11th of February and, most important-

ly, their single launch in Radio City on the 21st of February, which will represent their biggest gig to date. It’s hard to believe that Social Circuit have only been on the word go since last September, however the last few months have seen the quartet take

“We don’t want to gig down the country, associate with country folk”

a break so that they can increase their repertoire and in a way polish their sound. As Arthur confirms, “We decided to take a break over that period so we could write more material…we faced the problem of demand over supply where we only had three or four songs that we could play at gigs which ultimately wasn’t enough.” Their sound is certainly polished and brimming with energy. “It was important to make songs accessible

lady gaga

Green day

the fame

dookie

This is an album of hits, already riding high in the charts and splattered all over the radio and the clubs, and there’s many a song that will most likely follow the successes. However, The Fame is a record that echoes the lyrical simplicity of Kylie Minogue in her Lucky, Lucky, Lucky era, except with a bit less innocence and a little more innuendo, “Let’s have some fun this beat is sick I wanna take a ride on your disco stick” (Lovegame). There’s not a lot wrong with the beats that are layered on top of everything – they bounce and they’ll do no harm to the dance floor but there’s nothing new or that interesting in them, the most entertaining thing is deciphering the unfortunate lyrics. It is really a note on society that someone who could have come out with something a lot more intriguing and meaningful – there being some flashes of real talent, unfortunately all too few to add to the overall – if having been exposed to a differ-

ent sort of atmosphere has gone the generic and easy hit-making route. Her songs are self-written which is impressive but they revolve around the overused themes of being wealthy and splashing that cash around, along with the good old track that makes sure to raise the idea of money not being everything, Money Honey. Fame really isn’t all it’s cracked up to be... but thank you Lady Gaga for bringing the word Glamophonic to the world. EOIN BOYLE

hhhhh

Green Day’s Dookie has sold over fifteen million albums since its release fifteen years ago, their first album on a major label and third studio album, following 1,039/Smoothed Out Slappy Hours and Kerplunk. Their power chord, palm-mutted, fast playing and rapid lyriced songs had widespread appeal among gen-Xers. The album clocks in at 39 minutes and change but packs a lot of punch. While the opening three tracks would probably be more notable on a less talented band’s album, they’re hardly worth mentioning given that what follows them is so outstanding as to leave them firmly in the shade. The fourth track and first single, Longview, has a very simple message; “Its about boredom, masturbation and smoking dope,” described author and Green Day frontman, Billie Joe Armstrong. This tells you everything you need to know about Dookie. With tracks like She, about an abusive girlfriend, and Basket Case, about mind-numbing boredom driving one insane, it is a testament to their abilit that Green Day

by the time they are put together. They ultimately have a pop aspect.” Additional synths perhaps pinpoint a Killers-esque sound, solid syncopated drum beat and intricate and catchy guitar riffs also suggest not only pop influences but indie influences ranging from The Strokes to Kings of Leon. Vocally they are tight and their energy is demonstrative of a band who are passionate about what they do, basically making music for the sheer joy of it. Bannister stresses, “We are becoming more experimental as a band…we all have different influences.” Perhaps an observation could be made that this is a band merging respective influences into one musical outfit. The future certainly seems bright for the Dublin foursome who are going from strength to strength. Arthur mentioned IMRO, the association for unsigned acts that propelled Fight like Apes beyond the underground scene into the mainstream. They hold an annual show where unsigned acts play in to a much larger audience than they are accustomed to in hope of securing a lucrative record contract. Perhaps we shall see this circuit make that shift from the underground into the social.

»»www.myspace.com/socialcircuit

»»Social Circuit release their de-

but single, Modern Man in Radio City on the 21st of February

Released: February 1st 1994

manage to make these things sound upbeat and fun. The bonus track on the album, All By Myself, written by drummer Tré Cool, is a wonderful discovery for the first time listener; it is all about masturbation. It’s a lot funnier and less juvenile than you might think. The album had huge gen-X appeal, with songs about panic attacks, insomnia, mental illness, masturbation and sexual orientation, it was always easy to put the listener in the shoes of the musicians, neurotic slackers. Ironically, the album was regarded as “sell out” by many of their early fans – an insult that would follow the band with subsequent albums, Warning and American Idiot, by fans who regarded Dookie as true Green

Day material. Often unheard by fans of the band’s most recent album and particularly the singles, Holiday and Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Dookie is definitely worth listening to for a fan of their later works. Dookie is not a feel-good album; if it were released today it wouldn’t be successful because it is not happy or easy listening. It is morose but funny, laughing at the less desirable aspects of suburban life, particularly boredom and listlessness. Dookie achieves depth without trying to, a feat which is remarkable considering all the albums and musicians trying so desperately to be deep and only managing to be shallow and whiney. In the age before the internet, Dookie got a lot of airtime in a lot of bedrooms. It still should.

KEV DOYLE


Siren Music the

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College Tribune | 3rd February 2009

Valley of the Dolls Dresden Dolls front-woman and solo artist Amanda Palmer recently took time out from her busy schedule to wax lyrical to Heather Landy about her world tour, striking a bond with her fans and her near death experience. Having recorded and toured the last number of years with her partner in crime, Brian Viglione, as part of the punk cabaret duo, The Dresden Dolls, Amanda Palmer has earned quite spectacular success in Europe and the Western World. However, this record – her first solo effort – hasn’t enjoyed completely plain sailing. She muses, “It has and it hasn’t…The record label that I am on had kind of decided not to promote it and so I had expected that it was going to go a lot further and a lot faster and I am sort of dealing right now with failing back on stuff.” Amanda has worked rather hard to get to where she is today and the fact that Ben Folds decided to produce the record made it all that more special. “Ben emailed the band’s website to say he was a fan and we struck up a friendship over email and when I told him I was working on a solo record, he offered to produce it and I said yes. How could I fucking say no, it’s Ben Folds?! He did a magnificent job and I’m really proud.” Nonetheless, Amanda is at pains to point out that this venture into the realm of solo stardom does

not signal the end of the Dresden Dolls; “We will likely play shows next year. I am really focused on getting people to listen to the solo record right now and the band’s been put on the back burner.” Amanda is still keen to dabble in other projects and it was only last week she played alongside Brian in Washington DC, the same day as Obama’s inauguration. So how does she feel about the new presidency? “You don’t really need to be a chick into politics to care about this election,” she laughs. “It’s exactly what we needed and you can feel the energy everywhere around the time of the election and the inauguration. I wrote about in my blog, one of the best things was seeing black people and white people being generally tolerant to one another and actually actively engaging in each other as if they had finally been given permission. On the one hand, that is really sick if you find yourself thinking, did you really need to wait? I’m ecstatic about our new fucking president! The whole thing is fucking unbeliev-

I’m ecstatic about our new fucking president! The whole thing is fucking unbelievable and wonderful!”

able and wonderful!” After a number of dates in Ireland late last year promoting the album, Amanda Palmer found herself in a spot of bother as she recalls, “That was a fantastic show [Academy date in Dublin] I remember and that was the day I got my fucking foot run over. It was the night before we were in Belfast and I got hit by a car.” However, everything worked out in the end as Amanda continues, “I played the next night in Belfast coming straight from the hospital with a cast on in this crazy little pub. It was packed and the pub was so small that

we cut the actors from the show because we didn’t have room,” she laughs. “It was insane, the crowd was just fucking crazy!” So that also begs the question, are the Irish overall a better crowd? “Our two shows in Ireland on our last tour were some of the best on this tour. I think rivalled only by some of the German crowds. The show in Dublin was off the hook!” The 16th of February marks Amanda’s second solo date in Ireland but Amanda hadn’t actually intended to come back here so soon, “I heard that Neil was going to be in Dublin for a film festival so I booked a gig so just so we could hang out and he got us a little gig in a bookstore and so we are going to do it back to back. We are going to hang out and promote our book. That is how I know Neil Gaimon [Sci-fi author and friend], we worked together on this book, it’s called ‘Who killed Amanda Palmer?’ and which he wrote stories for and it comes out this spring so sadly we won’t have the book with us but we will be getting people excited about it.” Other than Palmer’s Irish date she will also be touring the rest of

Europe, finally wrapping up her tour in Australia. On the subject of touring, she reveals herself to be considering a festival date on these shores or another European festival date. “Yeah absolutely, I’ll most likely be playing Glastonbury. We’re putting it all together right now, just keep an eye out! I’m definitely doing the European festival circuit but we are trying to figure out which ones.” Amanda’s performances are certainly theatrical, drama must play a big part in her life, “I grew up writing a lot of songs and also doing a lot of theatre and it never occurred to me to separate them. The bands I love, a lot of them had a really theatrical vibe and it never occurred to me that that was out of the ordinary, I just felt that everybody did it. I was interested in performance and keeping things unordinary.” The bond between performer and fan is not always a common thing but Amanda deems it an important way of connecting with your fans, as a loyal fan base will save you from falling into obscurity, “I guess it depends on who you are. I know it’s important to me; I know it’s impor-


neriS eht

College Tribune | 3rd February 2009

Music

5

A sideways look at...

Overrated Albums nirvana – neverMind Smells Like Teen Spirit and Lithium. Two good songs. Two good songs constitute a classic album do they? The rest is formulaic twaddle, except for Come As You Are, the opening to which totally plagiarises Life Goes On by The Damned so it doesn’t count. How Cobain is revered as grunge’s foremost cultural icon ahead of Vedder is inexplicable. This isn’t even Nirvana’s best album anyway – In Utero is far superior. whiTe sTripes – elephanT No no no... Derivative, repetitive bollocks, with the sole exception of Seven Nation Army – which still managed to get old incredibly fast, that sodding bass-line just goes through you after a while. Two musicians desperately trying to pay homage to their rock n’ roll influences, all of whom simply did it better than this pair. The Stooges, Led Zep, Robert Johnson... Give up Jack; they’ve got class, you don’t. sex pisTols – never Mind The Bollocks... Let’s look at this logically: One of the first ‘manufactured’ bands – thank you Malcolm McLaren – consisting of a bunch of lads who can’t play their instruments and can’t be bothered learning to. This isn’t punk – it’s a parody of the movement. Only God Save The Queen, Anarchy In The UK and maybe Pretty Vacant rise above

the mediocre. The Ramones, The Clash, The Damned or even Crass were miles better than this lot. u2 – The joshua Tree Not a bad album per se, just completely put in the shade by the excellent Achtung Baby, released four years later. The first three tracks are obviously seared in the collective conscience, and rightfully so, but the subsequent fare is pretty forgettable; pretentious, plodding, bland stadium rock. The fact that this is consistently rated higher than Boy, War and The Unforgettable Fire makes absolutely no sense at all. arcade fire – neon BiBle This one’s actually a fairly decent effort – just not even in the same league as its predecessor, Funeral. Following the success of their debut this group bought into their own hype and strove to make an epic rock album – with dire consequences. The whole record ends up sounding overblown, excessive and flawed in so many ways. Second album syndrome, sophomore slump, call it what you will – it definitely didn’t deserve to have people raving about it the way they did.

seBasTian clare

ry

from Wednesday 4th Februa tant to them. A relationship between a performer or a musician and their fans is every single one of them is as unique as a relationship between any other two people. It depends on who you are talking about and when and I find that the connection with the audience is the best part of the job for me. I love it and I need it! I can’t imagine doing this without really fostering that connection.” Amanda has certainly impressed with her lavish solo shows where theatre and music merge into one splendid form of performance. Her debut album shows Amanda going through a re-birth of sorts yet still retaining that Dresden Dolls spirit which has gotten her through almost a decade of her life. Her lyrics are almost like a story of her life and there is a passion in her music which is unrivalled by today’s standards. The doll has finally been brought back to life.

» Amanda Palmer plays the Sugar Club on the 16th of February

Thursday 5th February: Ladyhawke, Academy, €15.50, doors at 8pm Friday 6th February: Gigs For Children In Gaza featuring Lisa Hannigan, Neil Hannon, Eleanor McEvoy, One Day International and The Waterboys, Vicar Street, €25, doors at 8pm Saturday 7th February: Gigs For Children In Gaza featuring Lisa Hannigan, Neil Hannan, Mary Black, Liam O’Maonlai, Eleanor McEvoy, Paul Brady, Kila, One Day International, The Waterboys, Frances Black plus Friends, Vicar Street, €25, doors at 8pm God Is An Astronaut, Academy, €19.50, doors at 7pm Monday 9th February: Lamb Of God, Academy, €25.50, doors at 7.30pm

Dan le Sac vs Scroobius Pip, Whelan’s, €16, doors at 8pm Tuesday 10th February: Judas Priest, Megadeath and Testament, O2, €50, doors at 8pm Wednesday 11th February: The Wailers, Academy, €27.50, doors at 7.30pm Thursday 12th February: Wintersleep, Academy, €12, doors at 8pm Friday 13th February: Pony Club, Upstairs in Whelan’s, €10, doors at 8pm Saturday 14th February: The Mighty Stef, Crawdaddy, €15, doors at 8pm Monday 16th February: Amanda Palmer, Sugar Club, €16.50, doors at 7.30pm


Siren television the

6

College Tribune | 3rd February 2009

Power to the

Puppets

Cathy Buckmaster tried to get a word in edgeways while dirty ginger double act, Podge and Rodge, ranted about their plan to beat the recession, lovely ladies, going nude and abusive guests, not to mention Lucy Kennedy’s sadistic betrayal Verbal diarrhoea, inappropriate comments, too much personal information, discrimination and womanising; no, this isn’t that strange old man at the bus stop – meet the terrible twosome, Podge and Rodge. The combination of sexist slurs and lots of filthy innuendo seems to be at odds with the two relatively cute, button nosed and red haired puppets. Yet somehow, with their subtle but witty humour, petty arguments amongst themselves and their elderly mischievous personas, they make it work. After all, everyone knows the elderly get away with far more inappropriate and discriminatory comments. It’s part of their charm. In that familiar thick garish Ballydung accent, Podge shouts out “Podge here,” only to be echoed by his other half, “Podge and Rodge here!”. Irritation between the puppets is already appearing as seen from Rodge putting extra emphasis on the ‘and.’ Podge, the cleaner cut of the two is seemingly the more intelligent and therefore more arrogant and often tires of his brother’s idiocy. Rodge, with his messy mop of hair, always just seems happy to be there. Their career began on A Scare at Bedtime, which had the two telling bizarre and more often than not obscene, ghost stories. They have now moved on to The Podge and Rodge Show; a RTE chat show where the puppets question, humiliate and abuse their guests with the same obscene and lewd jokes we love so much. From their television personas, we know Podge (Pádraig Judas O’Leprosy) and Rodge (Rodraig Spartacus O’Leprosy) are two perverted elderly twins living together in the arsehole of nowhere, also known as Ballydung, which is off the bypass, past Ballywank. I catch up with the two just as they’re gearing up for the new series which starts, as they put it, “on one of them Mondays that’s coming up anyway.” “We have some great old guests lined up. We have, you know that fella, Malcolm McLaren hopefully and Phil Daniels. And we’re going to have a few of those eejits from Celebrity

Get Me Out of the Jungle. There are rumours of Timmy Mallet, but I don’t know about that now. That’s going to be tough; he’s like the most annoying man in the world. That’s the problem, when you do a talk show like ours, you end up having to talk to all sorts of eejits.” This rant leads on to a discussion of their most hated guests which they more than happily name and shame. “The most difficult guest of all would have to be your man, Pete Burns. I tell you what; he kind of combined the high maintenance of a woman and the anger of a man. He was a force to be reckoned with; he was very angry. I don’t know if he’s still in extreme pain with the amount of plastic surgery he got done but God I tell you what, he wasn’t happy at all. Pete Burns, for a lady-man, he’s got a mean left hook.” “Also, you now that one from Eastenders, Pauline Fowler, she was some bit of hard work. Wendy Richards, that’s her name. Just before we went to do the interview, her manager

called up and said ‘if you’re going to be referring to her, you have to refer to her as Ms. Wendy Richards OBE.’ What does OBE stand for; oh yes; obnoxious bitch from Eastenders.” “When we didn’t call her that, I think she had a bit of a puss on her. See we don’t meet the guests before the interviews so it sort of got off on the wrong track. As well, Podge kept calling her Pauline Fowler, purely by accident to be honest with you,” Rodge says in his most innocent tone, “And she kept saying, ‘Excuse me, I’ve done many things besides my character in Eastenders.’” “I think though the thing that pushed her over the edge was that we gave her a snow globe because she collects them. Her character died under a Christmas tree on Albert Square, so we made a snow globe of her under the tree, dead. She didn’t really appreciate it. Had a bit of a face” to which the other echoes, “had a bit of a face alright.” The mischievous puppets work so well as a team because if

they’re not cutting the other off or egging the other one on, they’re repeating what he said. As for their most loved guest, they have no disagreements. “Our favourite was Jack Charlton, he was great now. He’s very nice and he’s about our age; in his sixties going towards his seventies so we had a lot to talk about now. He’s a grumpy bollox as well which helps. That’s because of the prostate you see, that’s right. You don’t have to worry about that love,” they say reassuringly As they continue ranting passionately with barely half millisecond pauses, cutting each other off before the other finishes and self spurring their own conversation topics from increasingly more bizarre thought tangents, despite being very entertained the worry is that the chance to actually pose some questions may never come along. They do however take a very quick breather. With the increasing amount of puppet personalities about such as Dustin, Sooty and Sweep, The Bronx Bunny and Achmed the Dead Terrorist, not to mention the many other chat shows around, one has to wonder if Podge and Rodge are feeling the competition. However when asked about their nemesis, they reply. “Is that the new model from Hyundai?” After clarifying, they quickly launch into a rant. “Oh twiggery you mean, oh Jesus yeh! We were surprised that our old host Lucy Kennedy had her own show. Aren’t there enough chat shows on RTE already? There are only so many guests that go around. That’s the problem; you see them on every fecking chat show.” “She’s married isn’t she? We let her off now to go off and get married and we thought now that’s grand. She’s going off to

get married and she’ll give up the old television lark and she’ll go and cook decent dinners for the husband. She’s off now every Tuesday night after the desperate housewives doing her own show.” Obviously a sensitive topic, the two get very riled up and one shouts “Who’s looking after that man of hers? Who’s putting the plate of dinner on the table in front of him? It’s shocking, shocking stuff.” When asked if they feel resentful, they show their cut throat nature. “Oh god, we would be bitter. We’re very good at holding grudges love. She’s dead to us now.” After Lucy Kennedy left, the show had a string of different lovely ladies up until Christmas so the two are still deciding what to do for their next series regarding a lovely lady. “Everyone’s being asking us now who’s going to be presenting the show; is it going to be a permanent presenter or are we


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College Tribune | 3rd February 2009

going to continue to having lovely ladies back every week.” “We’re not sure, we’re torn.” They repeat, agonised. “But the trouble with the latter is we have to keep changing the sheets, that’s a big job there…” To which I laugh in disgust before they clarify with a mischievous glint in their eyes, “They’re all looking for the sheets to be changed and washed every time and that’s awful labour intensive.” As for their favourite lovely lady, they find it difficult picking just one. “Your one Michelle Heaton was quite hot. Then again, so was your one Caroline Morahan, we like her. Rebecca Loos now was foxy and Rosanna Davidson was great. You know it’s very hard to choose one; any fella would relish our position. Did Rosanna Davidson go to where you are, to UCD.” Yes, she did, and their reply sees their bitchy side unleashed. “You wouldn’t think it.” As for the hottest girl in RTE, the two fervently discuss the

options. “Oh God Almighty, I tell you what; Grainne Seoige right, she does not disappoint in the flesh if you know what I mean.” Podge explains, putting emphasis on and pausing after every single word. “The thing she has going for her is she has a very handsome sister so it’s a kind of ideal match for us pair. Grainne now; she’s known as the ice maiden but that’s all the more craic. We like that Caroline Morahan too; she is hot to trot that girl. So they’d be our top two I’d say.” When questioned if it’s the brunettes they go for when searching for other halves, they initially respond, “Oh god yeh,” but after briefly considering, they add, “Well anything with a hole and a heart beat, we’re not that picky.” When asked what they would do to beat the recession if they were Taoiseach, they start their sentences as they start most, in typical grandfather form, by first claiming that they wouldn’t know about that sort of thing before leaping into their detailed opinion on the matter. “Well to be honest, I think anyone would do a better job. That fell a sitting in the street corner there would do a better job than these eejits. Well here’s a good plan now. You know the way the builders are planning on suing the banks for giving them money; we think it’s a great idea. We think everyone should start suing everyone.” “So if the builders sue the bankers, then the people who bought the overpriced houses can sue the builders and then the shopkeepers can sue us for not going in a buying the same cut of meat we

television

bought a month ago because we can’t afford it. So everyone can sue everyone and that’ll get the money all liquid again in the financials. At least we’re coming up with plans you know, unlike the other eejits. We’re thinking of calling it the litigation lion.” They also passionately explain another grand scheme to beat the recession but may prove unpopular among all in UCD. “The other thing we’re going to do and you might think this is controversial, but we’re going to outlaw third level education. Here’s the

van Murray. He’s an awful eejit now. We did a great game with him called Potter star or porn star; the names of porn stars are remarkably close and similar to the Harry Potter stars but they cut that out entirely.” Podge and Rodge recently appeared nude in one of their shows and explain their various reasons for doing it. “It was quite liberating. It was more the stink that kind of put us off a bit, but it was liberating. We’re big fans of your one, Claire Tully; Ireland’s only topless model. She’s got the qualifications but she doesn’t mind getting her kit off. So we thought we’d go that way too. We’ve no qualifications but we’re prepared to get it out.” “You never know as well, it’s a bit of advertising. Some women might find it attractive and therefore we might get lucky. Can we just point out when we were in the nip; it was very very cold!” They can’t strain this point enough, talking over each other and assuring again and again, desperate to highlight this fact. “But no problem now getting in the nip, not at our age, all out a bit anyway. The old pants are getting a bit looser; you shrink as you get older, mad stuff goes on and stuff falls out. You’ve all this ahead of you now love.” No one ever said being ginger was easy so when asked if they get much abuse, they have a proud reply. “At odd times yes but at the end of the day, we’re pure Irish with the red hair. You have to stand up for yourselves; it makes life that bit more interesting if you’re a ginger.” “There’s a hint of German, a hint of Bavaria now, which comes from grandfather Goebbels. We don’t like talking about him.” However thinking they’ve said a bit too much, they immediately warn me. “Don’t print any of that; don’t mention any German connection at all.” Many are starting to come around to the idea of the dirty duo as sex

Her manager said ‘if you’re going to be referring to her, you have to refer to her as Ms. Wendy Richards OBE.’ What does OBE stand for; oh yes; obnoxious bitch from Eastenders.” thing right, you spend so many years at school, you do the Inter Cert and then you do your Leaving Cert, what more education do you want? You should be out there putting money into the economy, not leeching off parents and the like, expecting houses to be bought for you. We were being shoved up chimneys when we were five by the nuns.” When queried if they have complete freedom of speech or if RTE ever censors the show, they discuss the matter keenly. “You know that’s a very interesting question, so we’ll give you a truthful answer. We don’t know what’s going to be left in the show and what isn’t. Now in fairness, they’ve been very good but there’s a lot of fierce, ferocious, awful stuff that’s been left out.” “For instance, we had the Irish fella on from the Harry Potter movies, De-

symbols of a modern Ireland. However, they remain modest on the topic. “We don’t know now, that’s for you to say love. They do say; red in the head, good in the bed. We’re willing to prove that at any given time. However, we’ve had a few experiences that have gone wrong.” “We tried that internet dating stuff but people don’t put up their honest pictures and we’ve had a few run-ins with a couple of heifers. Especially in Ballydung, they’re only new to the internet. The thing is if you’re on Television, it’s different. Say, Lots of women fancy Ryan Tubridy, but if he wasn’t on the telly they wouldn’t, you know what I mean. There’s a bit of that going on.” So with that, the two finish up by sharing their plans for the new series of The Podge and Rodge Show which is back on February 9th. “You know what we have coming back this year; rocking roulette. We’re calling it Rocking Recession Roulette now and getting the songs that wouldn’t cost too much to be doing, the ones that never made it to number one. So it’ll be great craic altogether.” “We’re bringing on all the bands that you student fellas like; we’re going to be having bands like the Fight Like Apes. Apparently though there isn’t a monkey in the band, I’m very disappointed. Also a fella called Jape and Cowboy X and the Dirty Epics are on soon. It’s a bit too loud for us now but sure never mind, we’ll have them on.” “Because of the recession RTE have decided we’re going to bring back some of the old game shows. We’re road testing them so RTE can reel them out again. There was one called ‘Quicksilver’ but we’re changing it to ‘Dicksilver’ which will have dick related questions; we’re making them more up to date. Also we’re changing that show, ‘Where in the World’ to ‘Where on the Girl’. So it’ll be very exciting but also very educational.” They conclude cheerfully.

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Siren fashion the

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College Tribune | 3rd February 2009

Word on the street Jessica Whyte takes a look at national identity and revolutionary break away trends The French are snooty, the Americans are fat, the Irish are drunk… just a few examples of some classic stereotypes that countries and their people are branded with. Some of these stereotypes have strong links with the truth but the vast majority are nothing but generalised and sensationalised rumours. One stereotype that preaches the truth however is that the Japanese like designer labels. In 2003 the Saison Research Institute revealed that ninety-four percent of women in Tokyo owned a genuine product of Louis Vuitton. Take a moment to register that statistic; bearing in mind that Tokyo has a population of over twelve million - that’s a lot of designer leather. The million Euro question however is why Japan? In the 19th century, Japan went through a rapid process of modernisation in a bid to gain access into the circle of western superpowers. Japan’s rulers felt that the best way to modernise was to westernise which led to the abandonment of almost all Japanese traditions and the adoption of western customs. Though this transformation was halted around the turn of the 20th century, the scars of western influence are still clearly visible in contemporary Japan, particularly in their fashion industry. The virtual obsession with western style dress and brand names in Japan is almost too much to fathom. Though many Japanese still look to emulate the west, another explanation for this ‘obsession with western’ could be connected with Japan’s insecure cultural identity. Having done away with their ancient traditions, Japan has continued to look to western customs as a way of securing their social and cultural identity in the world. This “ideology” came to a head in the 1990’s with the birth of the Kogal image which saw Japanese women trying to emulate the image of the Californian valley girls by dying their hair blond, undergoing extreme tanning treatments and flaunting their wealth through western designer labels (does this sound familiar to anyone?). This outrageous look sparked the beginning of the street fashion subculture in the late nineties as younger generations sought to express themselves through an eclectic mix of styles with both western and eastern influences. Harajuku, a district of Tokyo is so syn-

onymous with the street fashion culture, as it is here, that the youths of Tokyo flock to show off their creations. There are now dozens of different street fashion subcultures that caters to all tastes. The Lolita image focuses on everything that is cute and frilly with knee length cupcake dresses, parasols and bonnets and has also evolved over time to incorporate a darker side with the emergence of the Goth/Lolita subculture. Costume play is also a very popular form of Japanese street fashion which has recently been abbreviated to Cosaplay look which involves dressing up as your favourite animated character with much inspiration taken from Japanese video games. The growing success and popularity of street fashion in Japan had led to the creation of street fashion magazines, notably “Fruits” which focuses purely on the street fashions s h ow c a s e d on the streets of Tokyo. Shoichi Aoki, who founded

n gothic lolita the magazine in 1997, said recently that “In Japan there is a strong tendency for people to dress in the same style as each other. Essentially this tendency has not changed. In Japan, having a different style is kind of a risk. Therefore the fashion movement that came about in Harajuku was a kind of revolution. This kind of fashion was not suggested by designers but rather the fashion of the young inspired the designers.” The street fashion revolution has certainly done far more for Japan than ever expected- not only has it placed Tokyo firmly on the map as one of the new fashion capitals of the world, but it has also injected a great deal of life into Japan’s cultural and social identity. Though they may not be able to revert back to ancient traditions, they are in the process of creating a new, modern identity that draws on elements from their past. To turn now to our humble little island that is rocking back and forth in the corner of Western Europe, it could be argued that it is also experiencing an identity crisis. As one assesses the damage, it is clear that the Celtic Tiger saw the dissolution of Irish identity in exchange for “exotic” American lifestyles. This has left us with an economically crippled country and a pile of Juicy Couture tracksuits. Perhaps Ireland should take a leaf from the Japanese and reassess their national identity, after all, what’s so bad about being Irish? n kogal

n Cosplay

Head over heels Make-up? Check. Bag with much needed phone, money and house-keys for the road? Check. High heels on feet and flat pumps stored securely in the handbag? Check. The difference between flats and heels can be equated to the difference between night and day-quite literally. The

average night out for the vast majority of girls involves making the decision to don a pair of heels in order to finish their night look. For many girls, these heels are so high they could potentially be used as a weapon against any oncoming aggressors and have points so sharp they could open a wine bottle. Inevitably though they will only end up inflicting severe pain on the wearer or some innocent bystander. Why then do we opt for the impractical? The extra inches for a certain number of girls is the main attraction to the heel of course. Mainly though it is the glamorous connotations a pair

of heels has that leads to this choice and reinforces the “beauty is pain” saying. Even for tall women a pair of heels can signify the ability to swagger with confidence. Dancing is something always associated with heels- even the shapes of many heels are designed with dancing in mind, like ballet-heeled boots. Nowadays we even have high-heeled flip-flops. Brands such as Mary-Jane, Christian Louboutin and Manolo Blahnik are infamous and the designers are now branded as fashion demi-gods for their highly-expensive footwear from London to Paris to Tokyo to

No matter how tall you are sometimes the only way to go is up, says Aoife Ryan

New York. While the stiletto will always be a staple, and the kitten heel a popular alternative, chunky heels are king of the hill this season. These have again; considering they have been around since the sixties, been recognised as the happy medium between wedges and stilettos. Further creativity can be taken by changing the way in which you wear your favourite styles as well. Peep-toe shoes are now being worn not only during the summer but with tights underneath all year round. T-bar high-heels are another great focus of the season, proving

that heels can give extra definition to your legs. At the moment a growing number of women are moving away from the past wardrobe staple however, and choosing to wear pumps, boots, trainers or gladiator sandals instead. While some again cite height security as the reason, the most prominent reason is similar to the pro-heels reasons once again, to do with confidence and range of choice. So many options have flooded our gates that we can alternate and still be fashionable. Nonetheless, nothing screams party like a bruise-branded foot only an unsteady girl can cause.


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College Tribune | 3rd February 2009

fashion

9

Dolly girl without the Bratz Keep hold of the sugar, spice and all things nice, by exploiting the nostalgic side of fashion, argues Aoife Ryan In fashion there is always the ultimate play between accentuating the relaxed, girl-next door appeal with the worldly exoticism different national style and dress can afford us. The emerging spring fashions of this year reinforce this clash in what we want to say about ourselves through what our clothes say for us. All things tribal are be pushed to the forefront for catwalk trends by designers such as Oscar De La Renta, DKNY, Christian Dior, Louis Vuitton and Anna Sui. All things doom and gloom can be erased as easy as on an etch-a-sketch by simply adorning bright tribal patterns with modern silhouettes, chunky necklaces and bangles and, most importantly, animal prints. Likewise, the embracement of harem pants just screams a desire for something a little bit more ethnic, although this may just be in the hope that the more you steer your wardrobe towards desert wear, the more likely the sun will just have to respond with some optimistic rays to improve our months of bleakness. On the other end of the scale, we are being told that nude is the way to go, and of course this doesn’t mean veering towards a brave, minimalistic chic naked look but rather in terms of colour tones. Worn with natural, soft hair-dos this trend favours the plainer everyday approach quite clearly.

One look that merges the blank canvas with a ting of mystic glamour is the doll trend treading the boards, or catwalks, of the fashion world this winter. Since last September the Russian/Slavic doll look has been a key element of big-name designers, such as Dolce and Gabbana, Gucci and, once again, Anna Sui. It’s not hard to understand why this style has had little problem remaining popular considering its versatile ability to mix understated make-up with bold-patterned clothes. This enables a certain quickly put-together approach without losing any of the end finish result. To create this image the focus should be on floral patterns, rich jewel tones in tunics, scarves, thick bracelets and shift dresses. Think a more glamorous, fashion conscious babushka. Another branch of the doll fascination attempts the dolly look from a completely different angle-bold make-up. Irrespective of the outfit more so than the Slavic style, this trend focuses on intense make-up and simpler clothing cuts and patterns. For this, sticking to clean and plainer styles, such as those without patterns, adds to the effect. Blushed cheeks and twiggy eyelashes are key for successfully creating the look. The overall intention is to project a wide-eyed, baby-face image- but one that articulates freshness rather

than immaturity. One keen enforcer of this spectrum of the doll-spiration trend has been MAC make-up, who has shown a strong westernised, Hollywood-esque intent with their Barbie range. The obvious veneer of the doll girl image no matter what subset of style is a clear indication of what full-on fashion sometimes stands for. In this case, the near child-like imaginativeness of fashion is used to the full advantage. This is not to say that fashion is ever childish in its endeavours but rather that allows for the uninhibited fresh-eyed

viewpoint, leading people as far away from innocent as Naomi Campbell to join the baby doll craze.

Recessionista Chic Altering your wardrobe doesn’t have to be a big deal, Aoife Smyth argues It’s hard to avoid hearing about the recession nowadays, but regardless of capital, thou shall not neglect ones loyalty to fashion. This loyalty does not involve working every hour God sends and frantically running to Brown Thomas on your lunch break to spend your wages on an overpriced handkerchief, it involves working with what you already have in your wardrobe. Dylon can be an immediate wardrobe update. Simple pieces from your wardrobe can be thrown forward into the next season by dying them with the season’s colours. Look to designers for inspiration and then dye clothes which you are tired of to give them a totally new feel. Dylon can be purchased in most pharmacies. Buttons from a sewing shop can be added to a dress or top to add more eye- catching detail. Great buttons can also be found on e-bay at a low cost. Simple additions such as brooches and bows can be added to cardigans or jumpers to make

them more interesting. A waist clinching belt over a dress, top or cardigan can change how the shape hangs on your body. Even boyish figures can get some definition from this. Raid your dad, brother or boyfriend’s wardrobe and steal a shirt or two, team this with a waist belt and skinny jeans or leggings et viola. An oversized

t-shirt can be updated by chopping the neck line so it hangs off the shoulders showing some skin, depending on how large the original owner is, you could even turn it into a t-shirt dress. Long skirts from your wardrobe, your mother’s wardrobe or charity shops can literally take the chop. Mark the skirt at how long you desire it to be and pin it up. Cut from the pins, leaving room for a hem. You can quite easily hem it yourself too, but if you don’t feel confident, tailors will gladly do this for a couple of Euro. The same can be said for long dresses. Tulle or netting can be added to give more volume and can make a mini closely resemble a Luella number. A pair of patterned tights or leggings can update a mundane outfit and bring it to life with colour. Look out at jumble sales and in charity shops for tacky exercise leggings from the eighties, these can look great with a plain dress or over sized tee. If you tire of an old pair of jeans try scrubbing them with rock

salt to give them the faded effect, which many designers replicate. If you are brave, splatter some bleach on them and add a few slashes for a new age grungy feel. An old or even a thrift blazer can be rolled up at the sleeves to bring it up to date. Channel the masculine meets feminine look by teaming this with a summer dress. Bringing out your summer clothes can be another way to make your wardrobe appear more interesting. Layering a floral dress over a long sleeved tee with a woollen cardigan over can be a great look. Going out dresses can be worn casually over a t-shirt, with leggings and converse. A lace camisole or t-shirt with high necks can change the look of a dress when worn underneath. Before you bin an item, consider how you could change it. If you can’t stand the sight of an item, then organise a swapping party with your friends because you know what they say about one man’s gold.


Siren film the

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College Tribune | 3rd February 2009

Clint’s on top form

gran torino hhhhh

The secret is…it’s shite the secret of moonacre

Plot: Clint Eastwood plays Walt Kowalski; an old, disgruntled, Korean War veteran. The film is set just after his wife’s death and Kowalski is bitter and alone. However, he seeks no help from his family or his neighbours due to his feeling of seclusion from all of them. Kowalski is the only white man left in a now Asian estate and this brings out many outrageous racist slurs from him. Although seemingly controversial, this is one of the main suppliers of comedy in this movie. Kowalski has a hatred for these people and is forced to interact with them as he has to mentor the boy next door and protect him from the gangs.

is not only the leading actor on this movie but he also directs and produces it. It is violent and contentious so not designed for those with a reserved nature. Despute this, the film is enthralling, thrilling and often very funny. It also serves as a reminder of Eastwood’s past roles such as his turn in Dirty Harry; Playing a similar character with a more cynical edge. He takes on both the unwilling hero and the father figure to his young nextdoor neighbour and does do superbly. While it did not receive any Oscar nominations from this years awards, it is still a must see film of the year. Maximillian Harding

Verdict: Gran Torino sees Clint Eastwood back to his very best. He

film retrospective

Gone to the dogs hotel for dogs

hhhhh

hhhhh Plot: Based on Elizabeth Goudge's novel The Little White Horse, the film follows Dakota Blue Richards as the orphaned Maria Merryweather (yes, seriously) who moves to her stern uncle’s (Ioan Grufford) once-magnificent Moonacre Manor. With the guidance of a magical book, some furry friends and a bad boy who looks like a cute and less rape-inclined extra from ‘A Clockwork Orange’, Maria uncovers a longstanding feud between her family and Tim Curry’s evil De Noir clan concerning the Moon Princess’s magical pearls, lost for years. Verdict: Richards sulks monotonously though each scene and her adult costars fare only slightly better, as they are forced by the appalling script to

move clumsily from one clichéd portrayal of emotion to another, while Juliet Stevenson apparently aims for comic relief by belching periodically. The film combines the absence of direction or originality with some truly awful CGI effects to result in a formulaic fantasy that alternates between being unintentionally hilarious and mindnumbingly dull. The costumes are fabulous though. Shame you’d have to sit through this to see them. Roe McDermott

Plot: Hotel for Dogs tells the story of Andi and Bruce, two orphaned siblings living with a self-absorbed, hippie couple who are doing a pretty shabby job of fostering from horrible food to ridiculous rules. Worst of all, these evil people hate dogs. Cue a load of high jinx as the kids set up a home for their beloved dog Friday and other stray pups in an abandoned hotel. Verdict: Hotel for Dogs is a schmaltzy film your little brother or sister may or may not thank you for bringing them to, depending on how cool they are. My not-so-cool ten year old self probably would have loved it, especially seeing as

it was about that time that I set up a (very successful) hotel for snails. Honestly though, this film is what it is; a tame, cheesy, family orientated movie. Although suitable for a

5 films to get you in the mood for...

when Saline discovers a secret about herself that could change everything. Although definitely a ladies choice, this is a high class romance brimming with originality and fervour. If your boyfriend is whipped enough to sit through a romantic musical, then this movie is perfect.

Valentines Day 50 First Dates Henry Roth prefers having meaningless flings with women until he meets Lucy. Unfortunately for him, Lucy suffers from short-term memory loss and can’t remember new people for more than a day. Ironically, Henry can’t seem to forget about her. He must make her fall in love with him over and over in order to maintain a relationship with her. This is ultimately a feel-good and very entertaining film and is perfect for a ‘new couples on Valentines Day’; it’s not raunchy which can be uncomfortable in that kind of scenario, yet it will undoubtedly put you in a romantic mood. Bridget Jones Diary Bridget Jones is single, a smoker,

slightly overweight, drinks too much and struggles to find meaning in her life. She makes a New Years resolution to change her ways and describes her progress in her diary. Bridget has some hilariously embarrassing experiences while she struggles to find a man and her narration will keep you laughing and sometimes crying throughout. This movie is perfect for a ‘girl’s night in Valentines Day’ and can help kill those lonely blues about being single on Vday by making you optimistic that a handsome man you know is secretly in love with you. Twilight Bella Swan doesn’t fit in with people her age until she meets Edward Cullen. He is a dazzlingly beautiful boy with an intriguing personality and Bella

cannot help falling irrevocably in love with him. Fortunately for her, the feeling is mutual. On the down side however, Edward is a vampire and the relationship with him could possibly end fatally. Despite the dangers, she throws caution to the wind and continues to date him, Romeo and Juliet style. This is ideal for a ‘romantic night in Valentines Day’ because it’s full of heightened sexual tension and has a great final kiss; this movie could potentially lead to a very sexy night. Moulin Rouge

lecture-avoiding Tuesday morning, Hotel for Dogs is definitely not prime Friday night viewing. Good (but it’s no Beethoven). Orla Kenny

The Holiday

Christian is a poet/writer who is obsessed with love. While hired to write for the theatre company, the Moulin Rouge, he falls in love with a star actress Satine. With some effort from Christian including impressive singing, Satine returns his sentiments. Unfortunately, she has already been promised to the Duke. Worse news is to come

Amanda Woods and Iris Simpkins are two women living on opposite sides of the world but each have similar problems. Both sick of their unsuccessful love lives at home, they meet on a house exchange website and agree to swap homes for a month. During this period they each fall in love with a local guy and end up happily ever after. Clichéd to the max and notoriously drawn out with a sickeningly happy ending, this movie is so bad that it give you an excuse not to watch it and divert your attention elsewhere… Why bother going to the effort of choosing a good movie for V-day when bad ones can be so much more fun? Katie Godwin.


vv College Tribune | November 25th 2008

Celebrating 21 Volumes of Independence

College Tribune | 3rd February 2009

The The essential essential memento memento for for anyone anyone who who attended attended the the university university between between 1989 1989 and and 2008 2008

Available from NOW from the Friday, November Campus28th Bookshop - €10 at The College Tribune Or online at www.ucd.ie/tribune Ofce - €10

Features

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Music


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College Tribune | 3rd February 2009

Social Endeavour OF THE FORTNIGHT

bodies the exhibition Though it might seem rather macabre to most, the bodies’ exhibition which is taking place at the Ambassador in Dublin is well worth a visit. The exhibition takes visitors through galleries providing an up-close look inside the skeletal, muscular, reproductive, respiratory, circulatory and other systems of the human body. Many of the whole body specimens are dissected in vivid athletic poses, allowing the visitor to relate to everyday activities. On entering the exhibition one cannot help but be shocked, as you come face to face with whole dead bodies, stripped of their skin in order to expose the muscle build-up. The whole exhibition is treated with great seriousness; signs stating that all the specimens have been treated with the respect and dignity they deserve are plenty. The exhibition is an unusual mix between science and art. On the one hand it demonstrates the beauty and complexity of the body while on the other hand, it allows the visitor to become better acquainted with the workings of the body from foetus stage to old age. There is a large part of the exhibition devoted to diseases which affect the body, and the visitor is encouraged to dump their cigarettes into a bin located between a diseased and a healthy lung. Visitors also have the option to enter the room which contains the bodies of babies at various stages of development both inside and outside the womb. The glory of this exhibition is that it allows visitors to see things that normally only science and med students are privy to. It gives you the chance to observe the very inner workings of our bodies and to learn more about the human constitution. This is perhaps the only place you can see so much of yourself, from the brain to tiny capillaries so get up and go before the dead rise and run away. James granell

film retrospective

Complete satisfaction Set in the heartland of America, What's Eating Gilbert Grape is centred on the bizarreness of small town life and the quirks of ordinary people. Gilbert (Johnny Depp), a young man working as a grocery delivery boy, has been given the job of minding his younger brother Arnie (Leonardo Di Caprio), a severely mentally disabled teenager soon to celebrate his eighteenth birthday. In spite of their average rural working-class background, no area of Grape family life is in fact ordinary. Ever since his father “hung himself out to dry” years ago, Grape's mother has suffered with depression and obesity which has left her at thirty-six stone and unable to leave the house for the last seven years. The brutally honest depiction of the family and the blunt manner with which their neighbours treat them

what’s eating Gilbert grape? 1993 with gives way to a beautiful tale of human endurance that ends on an uplifting note overall. During the beginning voice over narration, Gilbert explains that trying to describe his hometown Endora, Iowa, is like “dancing to no music”. His admission that some days he wants Arnie to live and some days he doesn't, in light of Arnie's condition, portrays simply the tense relationship created by their extremely close connection. The film is circular in that it begins and ends with the two brothers by the roadside waiting for the passing camper vans to come by uneventful Endora. Until worldly traveler and

hippie Becky (Juliette Lewis) enters his life, Gilbert has been sleeping through life in need of some escape. Her no apologies attitude allows him to confront his future and gives him the courage to deal with his house which is literally bursting apart under the weight of mama's problems. A love story on many levels with truly endearing performances. Aoife Ryan


College Tribune: Issue 8