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College Tribune | March 3rd 2009


News 1 Sabbatical Elections ’ 09 “A Game of Chance” Starts page -11

Speaks with

Rise Against

College Tribune

The Difference is We’re Independent

Issue 9 | Volume 22 | 3rd March 2009

by Jennifer Bray A survey conducted by the College Tribune has shown a startling 60% of UCD students are considering leaving Ireland after graduation. The results come as students find themselves grappling with the economic downturn and facing an uncertain future. Furthermore, 59% of students

worry they will not get a job after graduation, while just under half the student population has taken out a loan this year to meet the rising costs. The situation is graver still as the survey reveals almost 70% of students felt it necessary to take out a part-time job this year, slicing a huge amount of time out of academic life. While the economy provided

some of the starkest findings, an unsurprising result lies in the ongoing fees debate. Three quarters of the student population stand opposed to fees of any description, with a very small amount expressing openness to a graduate tax or loans system. 65 % were dissatisfied with prices within the university, label-

ing it a ‘rip-off’.

For full results, see page 6 and 7.


College Tribune | March 3rd 2009

News News

Virus Attacks UCD Mainframe by Katie Godwin A virus disguised in a Human Resources document caused widespread issues with staff and student computers last week. The virus was contained in the attachment of an email which was disguised as coming from Coca Cola, Hallmark and other various job websites. A spokesperson for the IT Department said the destructive emails came in bulks of 6 or 7. Any staff member or student that opened the attachment was blacklisted and immediately knocked off the UCD network and were unable to use the wireless connection on campus. The virus was also forwarded to their entire address book. Investigations are underway

as to the source of the virus and the liable damage to files that could be caused by it. The IT team advise students and staff against opening any emails from an unknown sender until further notice, and that any student who has opened the attachment should bring their laptop immediately to the IT Centre beside the Health Services building. The spokesperson was unwilling to disclose the extent of damage and disruption to staff computers, though it is understood systems in the administration building required repair after the influx of e-mails.

Michael Tierney Building, where virus attacked

College Tribune LG 18, Newman Building (Arts Block) or Box 74, Student Centre, UCD Email: Tel: 01 716 8501 Editor Deputy Editor Design Editors Sports Editors Features Editor Music Editor Health & Fashion Editor

Jennifer Bray Cathy Buckmaster Kevin Doyle & Charles O’Donnell Bryan Devlin & Jordan Daly Philip Connolly Sebastian Clare Aoife Ryan

“Come Together” Three Gay Marriages by UCD Lake in LGBT Rainbow Week by Evan O’Leary Last week saw the LGBT’s Rainbow Week raise awareness of gay issues across the campus, with 3 marriages by the lake thrown into the mix. Over the five days the society, assisted by the Students’ Union, held coffee mornings, talks, and workshops for members and non members alike to participate in. The week came to fruition through the efforts of the UCD LGBT rights officer and event organiser, Laura Finlay. “It’s great that this week can help people who are struggling with their sexuality to come out, meet other LGBT people, whereas they may have been too nervous to attend events in the past”, she said. Wednesday saw some of the most significant events

take place including a pride march. The parade was met with enthusiasm and widespread support. A crowd of some seventy participants paraded from the Students centre as far as the Quinn School. Along the way, many students joined along and chants for “Equal rights” were roared. Three gay weddings took place beside the lake. This was an attempt to demonstrate the clear dissatisfaction with the present government’s offer of just civil partnership rights to LGBT couples. The marriages were overseen by the group LGBT Noise who are presently campaigning for civil marriage to be open for all Irish citizens. Finlay felt this was a crucial aspect of Rainbow week, “I think the weddings by the lake were quite significant as they really highlighted



Contributors Katie Godwin, Victoria Taylor, Daniel Moore, Evan O’Leary, Tadgh Moriarty, Luke Conlan, Tracey O’Connor, Fionn Dempsey, Jim Scully, Jessica Whyte, Faustus, James Grannell, John Flynn, Brian Mahon, Steven Tuohy, Aoife Smyth, Ruth O’ Neill, Roe McDermott, Nicholas Broadstock, Maximillian Harding, Sinead Keating, Colman Hanley, Ben McCormack, Orna Mulhern, Astrid Dolan, Orlaith O’Rourke, Klaudia Kalata, Shane Fitzgerald, Julie Harrington.

Special thanks to... Frank, Huw and Mark at NWM, Amy and Chantal at Universal, Danielle, Colm and Rory at MCD, Patrick Stewart at the IFI, David Cadden at the Abbey, Eva at Red Lion, Sharon and Joseph Bray, Peter Lahiff, everyone who helped out with the survey and all the bottlewashers. Finally, the editorial team, their patience and relentless support. Design Concept : Simon Ward


the inequalities than exist in Irish legislation”. That evening also saw a passionate talk held by two lesbian women Katherine Zappone and Ann Louise Gilligan. The couple who have risen to fame over the past five years discussed at length their on oing struggle to have their same-sex marriage recognised by the Irish state. Following the week’s conclusion, Finlay’s concluding sentiments were that of clear joy and admiration. She praised the strong turnout out at the weeks events, the guest speakers and she also thanked Aodhan O Dea, Dan O Neill and the Union for their help with organising the week.
















College Tribune | March 3rd 2009



Row Erupts as Election Heats Up by Victoria Taylor A dispute between presidential candidate Julian Brophy and current Education Officer and campaign manager Paul Lynam has erupted after accusations regarding Lynam’s involvement in the elections. Allegations made by Brophy claim that Lynam was “seen out canvassing” for rival presidential candidate and current Ents officer Gary Redmond during his office hours. Under regulations set out by Union Returning Officer Morgan Shelly, sabbatical officers wishing to take part in any UCDSU election campaigns must do so outside of office hours or take a leave of absence. According to Shelly, “Paul well fulfills the 35 hour week he is obliged to undertake, and goes well beyond it. This Chicken fillet Baguette Crown Topper final.pdf 17/10/2008 10:38:15









seems to me a publicity stunt on behalf of Brophy.” The dispute arose following a note that was posted on the door of Lynam’s office early in the week excusing his many absences due to a heavy schedule of meetings. However, according to Brophy, Lynam was seen out on several occasions this week canvassing for presidential candidate Gary Redmond and therefore ignoring his duties as educational officer. Stating that he has lodged a formal complaint with the returning office, Brophy said that he would be calling for Lynam to donate the funds than he had earned while out canvassing to student welfare. He stated “23,000 student pay Mr Lynam’s wages to deal with matters of academic interest, not to be out can-

vassing for a friend. If the education officer wishes to continue his involvement in Gary Redmond’s campaign during office hours, he should do so at his own expense and take a leave of absence.” In response Lynam stated that he was perfectly within his rights as UCDSU educational officer to canvass for a friend and he was doing so within his own hours. “I get a one hour lunch break which I can take whenever I see fit and this can be divided into four fifteen minute breaks or ten six minute breaks. What Julian doesn’t realise is that

I can also do what I want between the hours of eight and ten and from seven onwards.” The Education Officer then went on to state that he would take action against Brophy if he made any formal complaint against him that insinuated he was taking money from UCD that he did not earn. The Returning Officer concluded by saying that “all activities of student officers are strictly monitored and I am

perfectly satisfied that anytime Paul has been engaged in the campaign it has been on his own personal time.” He followed this by commending the hard work done by the student officers who often work over time or outside of the hours required for Student Union representatives. He also stressed the severity of these accusations against Paul Lynam which he claimed were completely untrue.


College Tribune | March 3rd 2009

News News


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College Tribune | March 3rd 2009


Mr. UCD Proposed, Miss UCD Doubtful by Katie Godwin Miss UCD will not take place this month, as proposed, but will now take place at a later date or not at all due to ongoing negotiations with the organisers. The controversial contest had been proposed to go ahead on Wednesday 4th of March which was advertised in the University Observer on 10th February, but Ents Officer Gary Redmond claimed the date had not been finalised as “issues” are being discussed by the organisers. Redmond specified these issues as “contractual” but would not elaborate. The prospect of the competition sparked controversy in the Students’ Union last semester, leading the SU council to take a vote to de-

cide whether the competition should go ahead. The council endorsed the running of the event, under the agreement that the competition would be held if the Ents Officer felt it was necessary to do so. Redmond was eager for the event to take place as he feels that “there was a good response last year”. In response to opposition received by SU officers and UCD organisation Students and Staff Against Sexism, organisers have already proposed to run the event as a charity organisation in conjunction with a Mr UCD but the contract is still undergoing changes. Redmond expects the competition to take place in one of the 5 weeks after the mid semester break, however this is “subject to the conclusions

Rise in Campus Residence Fees A hike in residential fees is due to come before a Governing Authority meeting, according to SU Entertainments Officer Gary Redmond. This is set to cause controversy amidst students already struggling to pay the fees in place. It is further contentious given recent drop in rent prices across the country, with popular listings site claiming costs have dropped by over 12% in 2008 alone. The charges for the campus accommodation were raised for this academic year already, and it is understood further increases will be contested by the Students’ Union. “Given the falling rent prices and the high cost of living, it is not right that students should be subjected to yet another inflation in price. A freeze needs to be put in place so this cannot happen”, says Redmond.

Currently the cost of living on campus stands at between €4,000 and €5,000 on the five main campus spots: Belgrove, Merville, Roebuck, Glenomena and Proby. It has been suggested the proposed spike in fees is due in part to the costs incurred in the construction of new security gates around all residences. These gates have been met with uproar from students. Last semester saw a showdown between security officers and Students’ Union officials as attempts to force the new measures upon students without consultation failed. All proposals have been put on hold at present in order for a more fair and open consultation on the matter. Meanwhile, the College Tribune survey 2009 has revealed that 75% of students are opposed to the gates.

on the contractual negotiations”. Meanwhile SSAS have stepped up their campaign opposing the event and others like it. The slogan on their campaign is “Beauty is not a contest”. According to Elisa O Donovan, SSAS auditor, SSAS have been holding meetings, distributing leaflets and stickers trying to Last years finalists awaiting winning announcement Photo: Courtesy Jennifer Bray promote a more positive view of tions such as Miss Ireland is women across UCD. a very narrow, exclusive view “This is a practical step in of beauty that has harmtrying to make students ful effects on both men and realise that the ‘beauty’ that women.” O’Donovan said. is represented in competi-


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College College Tribune Tribune | February | March 3rd 2009

News Investigations News



Of students say Horizons had no impact on their choice of UCD. This result stands in opposition with the commonly held belief that Horizons has revolutionised the third-level experience. The university’s recent leap in the league tables has been attributed to the Horizons programme, and a far reaching advertising campaign has been undertaken to promote the system. A spokesperson when recently queried on the extent of advertising said “INSERT HERE”. Despite the startling figure, Students’ Union President Aodhan O Dea claims “These results show almost 1 in 5 students came to UCD because of Horizons which in my opinion is a resounding success. This would indicate over 1,000 students come to UCD every year because of the Horizons initiative.



are considering leaving Ireland after graduation. A growing scarcity of graduate jobs and deepening economic gloom have finally taken its toll on UCD Graduates. This is proofed in the fact that 59% are worried about getting a job after graduation. Meanwhile, 41% of today’s students are finding themselves knee-deep in debt. Coupled with the finding that almost 70% have felt it necessary to take out a part-time job this year, and the message is being driven home that the majority of students are already facing severe financial hardships.



of UCD students are against the implementation of tuition fees, and 71% are against the implementation of grad taxes/loans. Proposals for the reintroduction of fees are due to be brought to before the cabinet this April. A shutdown of UCD for one day is currently being proposed by lobby group FEE, and after a number of successful marches the SU claims to plan on stepping up the campaign once again. “The campaign against Fees or graduate tax has been our main campaign this year and will continue to be as the government continues to discuss various proposals. We need to step up the campaign in the coming weeks,” says O’Dea.

College Tribune | March 3rd 2009




of students do not feel well informed enough about the new student centre, while a massive 17% have never even heard of the project. The lack of awareness amongst students suggests they are also unaware of where part of the registration fee is going.



of students have missed a lec-

ture looking for a car parking space.

The parking situation in the college is understood to have worsened considerably, with almost half the student population missing lectures backing this up. Proposals have been listed over the last few weeks to implement a charge on parking, with the maximum amount for a student to come to 6Eur a day. It has been revealed this would raise 10,000 a day with questions unanswered on where the revenue will go. In conjunction with this, 73% of students are against any kind of parking charge.

College Tribune Survey ’09 STUDENTS’ UNION Only… 42% can name this year’s SU President 16% can name Campaigns and Communications Officer 23% can name Education Officer 29% can name the Entertainments Officer 24% can name the Welfare Officer Not only are these results a harsh blow for the union, further results reveal a growing apathy amongst students. 44% Think the Students’ Union are not approachable, while:



consider the campus to be “rip-off”. In terms of eating on campus, Elements and The Students’ Union shops came out on top as the best value and best food, while the Restaurant was named the worst value. 60% of students prefer The Student Bar next to the restaurant as opposed to the Centre Bar. Centra also rated quite well in the findings.


50% of students have tried Cannabis, but a mere 4% have tried Heroin. While the tendency to steer away from heavier narcotics seems positive, the student attitude remains liberal with 40% believing that drug use is acceptable amongst students. Elsewhere…

18% have cheated in an exam 22% Have plagiarised an essay

46% of students cannot name their Class Rep 43% think their Class Rep has been “not at all” accessible

7%have entered into a relationship with a member of university staff

Class Reps have been a contentious issue throughout the year, after revelations of disruptions on a rep weekend away. Survey Design: Philip Connolly Compilation and words : Jennifer Bray Distribution: Daniel Moore, Astrid Dolan, Susie Cody, Sharon Bray, Klaudia Kaluta, Tadgh Moriarty, Shane Fitzgerald, Luke Conlon, Niamh Ni Dhomnaill, Cathy Buckmaster, Niamh McGahern, Colman Byrne, Tracey O’Connor, Jordan Daly.



College College Tribune Tribune | February | March 3rd 2009

News News

Opinion What’s the FAUSTUS Back Supping with Point of these the devils Sabbatical Elections? Greetings again,

After a three-week break, Faustus is back and is none too happy about what scum has accumulated in the meanwhile. Our delightful concourse has been littered with idiotic smiling pictures of sabbatical candidates. Will it take a flashing neon sign to drive home the message that nobody cares? The tinge of revolt in every innocent student face that passes by these ‘campaign posters’ grows sicklier by the day. What these students really need to know, I can tell them. The four presidential candidates first. If Gary Redmond continues along the tack he has followed, next year will be an exact duplicate of this year. Julian Brophy will eventually hypnotise you poor cretins into believing all of UCD is out to get you andreally is time to burn down the Arts Block. it Donal Hanratty has had many acheivements. Peilfield. Centre

Soccer. Peilfield. Centre Soccer. Expect a year of, well, peilfield and maybe even a bit of Centre Soccer. Chris Bond, who of course pities those running against him, will either end up thrown in the lake by Pulse Security or quitting to sell second hand cars. Welfare is a bitter row those two candidates. Is there any point in mentioning the others? Who are they? Who cares? Most importantly in these competitive times is that distinctive union stink coming from the Education Office. Paul/Peter/Philip Lynam is engaged in a bitter row with one of our presidential wannabes over accusations of neglect of position. The word libel has been thrown into the mix. These are foul times underlings.

Yours with no sympathy at all,

Its that time of year again where we are all subjected by the delusions of others to be fools who are willing to buy any spin that is fed to us. Student Election time is something that most students don’t really care about. But for some of those young ambitious disciples of a Machiavelli it is a time to start a path on the road to bigger things. Many if not all of the candidates have promised to end the clique culture within the UCDSU. They promise to make the Student Union more approachable and make class reps more than just people who organise parties. But anyone who has been in UCD for previous elections know all too much that these are just regurgitated promises from previous years. The SU is a clique and the Sabbatical elections is it’s AGM - the one time of the year where your €2 will buy you a vote. These elections are a breeding ground that spawn the archetypal Irish politician who promises so much, alludes to being so different but in the end is just

like all those who have gone before. It is hard to take these candidates as serious soldiers for the good fortune of students in UCD. And for those who genuinely desire to affect change, sadly they are the ones often not elected, and even if they are, they run into a brick wall of bureaucracy and apathy, amongst both the fellow Execs, class reps and college administration, quickly perpetuating disillusionment, which has become the hallmark of SU life in UCD. Without delving into a discussion on sex equality, it is remarkable that in this day in age, where supposedly things have changed that only two of the candidates are female. Only twice in the last five years, has a female candidate beaten a male candidate, within only three serving as Sabbatical officers in this time. It seems that a boy’s club culture is deeply institutionalised within UCD life, especially the SU, and this seems to be the more likely reason for this imbalance - rather than any electoral prejudice - for why women are so underrepresented in the elec-

tions. I suggest next year we organise a student party to run in the Sabbaticals. This party would contain no actual candidates. If victorious, it would mean that no person would take the position of the elected office. This would lead to a radical deconstruction of the existing structure and create the necessary change that is desperately needed. So some advice to any newbies to UCD, on polling day you are going to be subjected to bombardments of votegetting, witness egotripping that you have never seen before and be warned if you fall for any of there wily charms you will forever be ashamed of yourself for giving them your vote.


College Tribune | March 3rd 2009



College Tribune LG 18, Newman Building (Arts Block) or Box 74, Student Centre, UCD Email: Tel: 01 716 8501 The College Tribune reserves the right to edit letters

Letters to the Editor Wheelchair Access for New Student Centre Dear Madam, I’m glad to see the Student Centre is to install wheelchair accessible doors. This is a step in the right direction. However, I have to refute Mr Charlie Sloan’s claims that they are “an initiative of the student centre itself.” (As quoted from the University Observer). In fact, the issue was raised to the Student Centre by Dan O’Neill after speaking with students who wanted better access. For Mr Sloan to state


otherwise undermines the effort and goodwill of many students who are trying to make this campus more accessible -something sorely needed. While congratulations are due for the introduction of new doors, taking credit for other peoples ideas is churlish. Yours etc, Cillian O Reilly Postgrad Human Sciences Auditor IPAsoc

Mode of fees protest Dear Madam, Can we not show that the students of today can be

rational, intelligent andarticulate, open to discussion and reason, as opposed to the typical view of us as a the products of an age of a spoilt society, opposed to anything that doesn’t immediately go our way, such as is promoted by USI and UCDSU. Speaking of the Union, salutations to Mr. O Dea for the provision of the new €35,000 couches. Somewhere to rest weary limbs after a hard day of bemoaning on a national stage the lack of money among the student community. Is mise le meas, Orna Mulhern.


Editorial Editorial Consistency As some students and staff may have noticed, Issue 9 of the College Tribune was postponed and was not available across the campus. This is due to a change in editorial structure and a new direction for the paper. The College Tribune would like to apologise to our readers, and promises to continue to provide students and staff with the news that effects you, the most topical and current features, the latest in sports analysis and reports as well as the best in entertainment and humour.

The College Tribune Student Survey 2009



College Tribune

College Tribune


The Difference is We’re Indepen

This week we carried out a comprehensive and in depth survey carried out across the whole demograph of students in the university. Some results are surprising, and from these it becomes clear that the student body as a whole has more than one battle ahead. The startling amount of students who are considering leaving Ireland presents the government with a dire situation not unlike the much publicised ‘brain-drain’ of the 1980’s. The fact that the majority of students have had to take out a part-time job this year to cover costs stands side by side with this. Couple this with the inevitable result that most students stand opposed to fees of any description and the picture of what stands to suffer is vivid; The quality of education for some who work extra to pay costs, the quality of graduates Ireland will see for those who will leave, and the fundamental education for those who can’t pay fees.

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College Tribune | 3rd March 2009 >

News Regulars

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“O st fr th to it’ m w de

College Tribune | 3rd March 2009


Sabatical Elections ’09


Sabatical Election Candidates, Clockwise from top left: Donal Hanratty, Scott Aherne, Chris Bond, Gary Redmond, Kimberley Foy, James Morrisey, Gary Ward, Mike Pat O’Donohue, Julian Brophy, Ben McCormack, Dani Pender, Ciaran Fitzgerald, Paddy Ryan, Donnacha O’Suilleabhain

What about Ron? VOXPOP

If more people vote RON than for any of the candidates the election will have to be held again and new nominations will have to be invited. RON is counted as a

candidate under the Proportional Representation System used in these elections. You can vote RON in all elections. If RON ‘wins’ the election will be run again, probably in the

next term and more nominations will be invited. Vote RON if none of the candidates appeal to you and you still want to utilise your vote.

What about Ron?

Would you buy a used car from... Donal Hanratty? Micheal Kennedy, member of staff said: “He’s got too much hair and he’s too goofy, he looks like he’s from the 1980s. If he got a haircut I’d buy a car off him He’s got that confident look alright, but you want a man who has a haircut.”

Julian Brophy? Róisín Watson, 3rd year, psychology said: “Okay..the shaved head and the earring are stereotypically telling me ‘no, do not purchase from this man’ but the smile is inviting and the eyes are laughing the shirt’s loosely unbuttoned and looks casual It’s a fancy shirt and it’s pinstriped so I’m gonna go with, well he’s more of a rocker, so I’m gonna go with yes, I would buy his pimped out car second hand, definitely!”

Gary Redmond? Darina Errity 3rd year, psychology said: “I’m not gonna lie, he’s got kind of a goofy look about his face. I don’t think he really knows what he’s talking about but, he’s smartly dressed, I’m ready to give him a chance but I have a feeling that he’s probably not really sure on what price he should be giving this car and that he’s probably taking advice from somebody that knows better than him he looks naïve, you know…I’d have to think about it…but I don’t think I would to be honest.”

Chris Bond? Adam Jenkenson, Economics, 2nd said: “He looks a bit shifty, the eyes are too close together I think, he looks like he took all the money he swindelled from all the other used cars and went somewhere nice…oh is that just the lake…?


College Tribune | 3rd March 2009

Election News

The man who woul rity’s conduct. There was a case a few weeks ago where they hauled a gay couple out just for kissing. I’m going to make sure that security cleans up their act a little bit and that all complaints about their conduct are addressed.

The way we stop it is we use a multi faceted approach. We lobby TDs, we hit them where it hurts in their home constituency, we organise demonstrations, and we can partake in peaceful direct action.

Apart from fees, what Would you have any is the single biggest particular criticisms of challenge for the inthe outgoing president? coming SU President?

About your Manifesto

The class rep system isn’t working as well as it could be. They should get more adequettraining. Overall I think Aodhan’s done a fairly good job, he’s been one of the better presidents in my time here but there’s always room for improvement.

My manifesto is basically the three main issues I want to focus on. I want to actually defeat fees and also secure proper public funding for the university. The other point is the issue of secu- What would you do rity. There have been a lot to combat the reinof fees? of complaints about secu- troduction

points of your campaign are? I have 5 aims which are fees, finding out where university funds are going, enhancing a community spirit, sorting out the security and safety around campus and improving the essential services, like the library, that are here for all students. What type of action would you take against fees? Manifesto My manifesto explains why I want to be President of the SU and what I’ve done so far. I’ve organized lots of events such as No Bearla and Pelfield Centre soccer. I’ve changed the way the union works. I’ve done quite a bit and with my class as well. What would you say the main

The type of direct action that has already been conducted by the USI. It has been effective and students all over the world have shown that occupations can create a lot of media coverage. Do you have any particular criticisms of the outgoing President?

The lack of funding for the university. As SU President I’ll use all the union resources to make sure that none of our essential student services are cut back but also campaignto ringfence proper funding. Would you have any criticisms of the other Presidential candidates? I like Gary an awful lot but he’s been in the union adI’ll just talk about my plans for the year. A lot can be done in terms of creating community spirit. For example, I organized this thing back in September, it was called Centre Soccer and every house in Merville had a soccer team and played against their neighbor. It cost the SU less than €200 and it’s things like this that should be promoted.

Is that something that you feel has been neglected in the last year? I feel that things like Centre Soccer weren’t there when Barry Colfer was president either. I think little things like that can be very effective. I started up the Pelfield thing when I was in first year. I have done a lot for UCD.

Man My m be fre reintr one o the f ryone in Se limite so mu dents

ministration for far too long. It was quite disingenuous of him that he took credit for mobilising 5,000 students for the last demo. Everyone in this college knows that that is not true because it was more than just Gary. As for Julian, I think he’s definitely sincere in his passion about the issues but his approach has been direct action for everything, he doesn’t take into account some of the other approaches which can be utilised. Also he has a tendency to throw the baby out of the bath water a bit when things don’t entirely go his way. He stormed out of SU council there two weeks ago because one of his motions was defeated and if you’re the SU President you have to keep your composure. Donal is far too inexperienced to take on the job on SU President.

Why dents

I’m after receiving the President’s award along with Robert Carney and Viv Rath and a few others.

The position of UCDSU Presid the most covetted of student po University. Previous presidents lon (03/04) Feargal Scully (04/ (05/06) Dan Hayden (06/07) Ba and Aodhan O’Déa (08/09). M ous presidents were Sabbatica election, such as James Carroll, Barry colfer, where as Paul D Scully ran on the issues of the

Apart from fees, what would your other main focus be as SU President? I feel it’s very important that students enjoy their time in UCD. For example, when I was in first year the Pelfield tournament worked extremely well. Do you think the money over the last year has been spent wisely? I feel that almost everything that the SU has done so far has been worthwhile. Seachtain na Gaeilge, for example, ran with SU funding

should vote for


Defending student rights has been my passion. I will fight these issues whether I’m elected or not. But if I’m elected next week, together we can beat fees, improve our services and improve our security and car parking.

of less than €5,000 and I feel it’s very worthwhile. Centre Soccer cost the SU less than €200. Would you have any criticisms of the other candidates? I don’t know enough about the other candidates to criticise them.

Mani I am introd guise. Stude taskfo and n ices f spectr want study for fr comm







n e r i S the

College Tribune

Arts & Culture Supplement | 03.03.09

College Tribune | 3rd March 2009



Morrissey Years Of Refusal It seems impossible for any Morrissey review to open without reference to the inevitable shocking things he has said since his last release. After 2006’s Ringleader Of The Tormentors, he has been branded a racist and a nationalist amongst a whole bunch of other BNP-related terms. These distractions can so easily prevent one from actually judging his music objectively. Perhaps partly to blame, Morrissey has always been viewed with unrelenting suspicion by many within the music business. He is a figure who is perpetually provoking indignation. However, judging by this latest album he is also

someone who is unfazed by the hostility and at this stage remains unwilling to compromise – just as the album title suggests. Years Of Refusal starts with an explosion. And after his recent controversies, it seems the most suitable way for these forty-five-or-so minutes to begin. Something Is Squeezing My Skull is an aggressive and thunderous tune. Backed by a stomping guitar riff, it is a powerful observation on modern living and on the prescriptions many of us seek in order to cope with it. He lists “Diazepam” and “Temazepam” and yells continually, “Don’t gimme more”. It is a delight-

ful listen. The plaintive Black Cloud sees Morrissey expressing frustration with his usual deftness; “I can chase you and I can catch you, but there is nothing I can do to make you mine”. This is followed by the beautiful I’m Throwing My Arms Around Paris, which offers the first real moment of respite. Within thirty minutes, eight songs have already passed on Years Of Refusal. This pace represents just how urgent this record sounds. That’s How People Grow Up is, however, a questionable inclusion. It is bland and lyrically dull. Nonetheless, It’s Not Your Birthday Anymore manages to push

this truth very far into the back of one’s mind. It features some of Morrissey’s finest vocal moments to date and is complimented by a delightfully acerbic chorus. You Were Good In Your Time is the calmest moment on a very abrasive album. A deeply poignant song, it is a surprising highlight. This reflective piece gives way to the concluding two songs, Sorry Doesn’t Help and I’m Okay By Myself. They are nothing special musically or lyrically but the latter does contain the delightfully amusing “then came an arm around my shoulder, well surely the hand holds a revolver?” It could be argued that Years

Of Refusal does lack memorable tunes akin to Suedehead but as a collective piece it is strong and must surely rank as a career high. For the most part, it is flowing, assured, coherent, concise and most importantly, loud. In a certain sense it feels like the dénouement of Morrissey’s career and this would not be a tame departure. Years Of Refusal makes it increasingly difficult for critics to deride him as he continues to demonstrate a penchant for creating glorious pop melodies.








The sanctimonious little bloke and his three amigos have returned with their twelfth studio album and, as predictably as night following day, their latest release is certain to rocket to number 1 everywhere on bloomin’ Earth regardless of whether or not it actually deserves to. Look at How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb; a thoroughly poor record, quite shockingly awful in fact – yet it received quite staggering commercial success. Nonetheless, someone has to review No Line On The Horizon, even if nobody takes the blindest bit of notice and just buys the record anyway. And, as a matter of fact, this is certainly an improvement on their last effort. The title track, which opens the album, and Magnificent, which doesn’t quite live up to its name, are excellent – even if they are retreads of what we have heard before from these lads. The same goes for I’ll Go Crazy If I Don’t Go Crazy Tonight, easily the best song on the

Heartless Bastards formed as a blues rock band in 2005. Rather than going for the countrified stadium rock of Kings of Leon or falling down the simple ego-satisfaction-road of the White Stripes, Heartless Bastards make the kind of simple, stripped-down rock that both confines them to smaller venues and makes them all the more endearing for it. With The Mountain, HB have progressed into a much cleaner and betterproduced sound, which really highlights their strengths. A lot of rock bands around right now – the vivian girls, wavves, a place to bury strangers – have let the droned-out gain on the guitars empty the music of songcraft and emotion for the sake of a pointless noise. HB, on this record, show a confidence and quality lacking from these other bands. The title track, which is also the album opener and stand-out song, begins with the kind of guitar lines we expect from Seventies guitar heroes, before the fan-

album and perfectly produced to boot. There are some inexplicably terrible tracks through. How the cringeworthy Get On Your Boots got through the recording process is a mystery that even Poirot would have a hard time solving. Not to mention Stand Up Comedy – a song so abysmal that it begs the question, ‘What was Bono thinking of?’ Answers on a postcard, please. Nevertheless, this is still a solid record, with a couple of memorable tracks that genuinely stand up with the best that U2 have produced. While it is initially fairly unimpressive, there is no doubt that it benefits from repeated listenings. SEBASTIAN CLARE


tastic voice of singer Erika Wennerstrom kicks in with its restrained, almost lazy, rhythmic drawl. Nothing Seems The Same sees Wennerstrom kick into full rockout mode, while the band craft a simple but passionate template for her to work with. Despite this praise, the pacing of the album is hampered by a couple of miss hits – Wide Awake being the obvious example here. The strength of this band comes from front woman Erika Wennerstrom, who sings with an easy confidence and gravitas completely at odds with the often cooler-than-thou indie scene in America. JOHN FLYNN


With debut album Don’t You Fake It, Jacksonville’s RJA seemed to set their stall out; alternative rock, pop punk, post-harcore – i.e. emo – music, take it or leave it. In all fairness, they were much better at its execution than some of their more illustrious peers in the genre – Story Of The Year, Panic! At The Disco and the irredeemably awful My Chemical Romance spring, unbidden, to mind. The album contained infectious, catchy hooks and abrasive guitars which sounded promising for the future of a band entering a competitive – some would say overpopulated – genre. Fast forward 3 years, to the release of Lonely Road, and you find a much-changed group. Now, we are presented with a group attempting to studiously ape almost every successful rock band there is. Every track is an imitation: opener and first single You Better Pray smacks of Velvet Revolver. Next comes No Spell, sounding like the result of some unholy union between The Killers and Jack’s Mannequin. Bloody

hell, they’re even plagiarising themselves – Represent is a mellower, note-perfect, nod to Don’t You Fake It’s Justify. Crikey, their second album and they’re already this short of originality? Having pointed out the really-quite-staggering musical thievery at work here, the fact is that these guys are actually pretty good musicians, and Howard Benson’s production of the album ensures that the overall sound is polished to the nth degree. The lyrics are fairly decent and, given the diaspora of influences obviously informing the band, the record hangs together pretty well. Pity it’s a blatant rip-off. SEBASTIAN CLARE


morahead e it is rank most ured, most ertain noueareer tame fusal ficult as he ate a glori-

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College Tribune | 3rd March 2009



Steal This Article Fionn Dempsey examines the ongoing efforts made by the entertainment industry to crack down on copyright infringement and asks the question; are the culture industries using copyright law to infringe civil liberties and destroy the internet? We live in interesting times. In the last few weeks, there have been significant developments on the future of copyrighted materials in the age of the Internet. On the 16th of February, after 2 years of procrastination by the litigants, the trial finally began in Stockholm of the staff of Swedish torrent-tracker website The Pirate Bay. The trial is being brought by an alliance of American entertainment companies, who allege that TPB’s online service facilitates the illegal distribution of copyrighted content. Within two days of coming to trial, however, the prosecutors dropped half of their case against the torrent site, a move interpreted by TPB as demonstrating the flimsiness of the charges. The trial has polarised most avenues of commentary. The print media have almost universally chosen to report the story in the terms given by the entertainment industry press releases,

complacently passing on language which prejudicially criminalizes TPB. Online support for TPB, however, has never been higher. The vast, diverse resources of the grass-roots media, particularly the blogosphere, have been deployed reporting and debating the episode. The consensus online is that the case is really about the attack by corporate interest on the freedom of the internet. The trial continues. Closer to home, in the last two weeks one of Ireland’s major internet service providers, Eircom, came to an agreement with a crosssection of entertainment industry groups. Eircom will now collaborate with the industry to police copyright law. Individuals detected infringing copyright, and reported by the industry to Eircom, will be summarily deprived of service by Eircom. Further, industry groups need only serve a court order to Eircom to

force the ISP to actively block all users from accessing particular sites deemed, by the industry, problematic. This effectively allows the censorship of the Internet by commercial interest.

Eircom has commenced their collaborative efforts by depriving all subscribers of access to The Pirate Bay. Again, the print media uniformly parrot the press releases of such bodies as the Irish Recorded Music Association, while, online, the episode is viewed as the beginning of the end. No longer, it is claimed, can we look down on the wholesale internet censorship at work in China. If the ISPs are willing to capitulate to corporate interest, they might capitulate for ideological reasons, or for political reasons. In the era of digitally encoded music, it takes a determined and scrupulous

individual to avoid infringing copyright on recorded music, so easily does it happen. The majority of iPod owners have at least some digital music files which have been illegally obtained, and the dominant attitude towards this fact is indifference. This puts most consumers of music in stark opposition to the industrial and legal establishment. In a decade when most people of university-going age have as many as 1000 hours of recorded music on their iPod, the party-line of the music industry would purport to make us all criminals. What course of action does this state of affairs suggest? A growing body of academics believe that it suggests a reassessment of how we think about content in the digital age. Jonathan McKeown-Green, a philosopher, has recently challenged the notion that songs themselves can be “property;” capable of being the object





Imelda May is described as a “rockabilly sensation” by her label and there is absolutely no cause to disagree with them. Her voice and style represent something new and fresh in the stale music industry in which we now live – when the likes of Lady GaGa are somehow enjoying success in the mass market it begins to make you wonder why you should bother at all. It was a last-minute performance slot on Later With Jools Holland that brought her to the attention of the mainstream audience and the ordinary punter, and from there on in she has pushed on and made quite a name for herself. This album, originally released in October to a generally enthusiastic response, is something a gem. The title track is a song that could not fail to get one up dancing and swinging, Fifties style. Johnny Got A Boom Boom, the album

opener, is a great tune and an excellent start to a record that never lets its standards drop. This musical genre might not be perceived as ‘cool’ in the eyes of many people but why should you care about that? This style of music deserves more of an airing on the national airwaves and that’s as good a reason as any to give this album a listen. BRIAN MAHON


While OK Computer’s expansive and complex sound earned probably the greatest critical acclaim of the band’s releases, and Kid A’s relatively minimalist style enjoyed the most commercial prosperity, Radiohead’s sophomore effort remains the group’s landmark record. Their debut album Pablo Honey, spearheaded by the stratospherically successful single Creep, had been released two years earlier in 1993, and the group had spent the intervening time touring almost incessantly – growing steadily more morose and disenchanted with the fact that they had not added more material to their repertoire. In such a circumstance, it is apt that Radiohead’s second album would be called The Bends; in achieving immediate rewards, the group had risen too soon and were therefore suffering painful consequences. The title referring to decompression sickness was one of many references to illness on the album, reflecting an overall theme of decay and

of “ownership.” In fact, he claims, songs, ideas and other such “intellectual property” are not really objects at all. Likewise, libertarians such as Friedrich Hayek, and free-software advocates like Richard Stallman have consistently criticised the institution of intellectual property, arguing that it directly works against democratic principles like freedom of information, and that, contrary to the claims of the industries, actually impedes creativity and innovation. Economists and lawyers like Peter Drahos and John Braithwaite have argued that the development of intellectual property law over recent years threatens to stem the flow of information and content within society, catapulting us into a new era of information feudalism, in which the rights to access and distribute information lies exclusively


brokenness. Yet this bleak vision was executed with such dexterous skill that the mood was as much one of inspiration as depression. The prevailing melancholy of Yorke’s tortured voice resonated so compellingly that it made for an aural effect that was impossible to resist. The Bends managed to achieve balance in various respects; it was deep but not pretentious, epic but not overblown, cerebral yet anthemic. It had hard rockers like Just and atmospheric ballads like Fake Plastic Trees. My Iron Lung even took a deliberate swipe at those expecting, and encouraging, Radiohead to pen a carbon copy follow-up to Creep. And in album closer Street Spirit (Fade

Out), the band created a dark, melodic, ominous, agonised and beautiful track that is surely without parallel, including some genuinely terrifying lyrics; “Cracked eggs, dead birds / Scream as they fight for life / I can feel Death / Can see its beady eyes”. Jonny Greenwood’s production helped form ambitious, layered pieces which in turn provided the perfect accompaniment for Yorke to showcase the versatility of his wonderful, often haunting, vocals. Inimitable though the soundscapes of The Bends were, Radiohead’s output at this point spawned numerous copycat bands who were able to jump on the anguished-guitar-rock bandwagon – with considerable success, it must


College Tribune | 3rd March 2009


Imelda May speaks frankly with Brian Mahon ab

Darling Bud of May The Liberties-born rockabilly star is making quite the impression in the Irish music scene and her album, Love Tattoo, is flying high in the charts at number 7. However, it was a last-minute cancellation on Jools Holland’s late night music show which has enabled her to so-successfully publicise the record. She had been playing support for Jools on tour and as she says herself, “he came down to watch us by the side of the stage and then asked for a CD and said he really loved my stuff.” The subsequent lastminute cancellation by Natalie Cole gave Imelda the opportunity to strut her stuff on the show. The “highlight of the show”, according to Imelda, was getting Beck’s recogni-

tion. The show has led to many doors being opened for Imelda and, as evidence of this, she is now opening a few dates for Beck on his current tour. Elbow, who were also playing on Jools Holland that night, offered Imelda and her band ten nights on their European tour as opening acts, but due to their own tour commitments this became an impossible endeavour; as she says herself, “it just couldn’t happen.” This has not been the only time she has opened for such esteemed acts. She previously opened for Van Morrison which was a “huge honour” and although she didn’t get to talk to the man in question he did come to the side of the stage and watch, which apparently is quite the big deal. As

inimitable style, somewhat fortuitous appearanc

With Jools Holland, and the seemingly overnight

well as that, she has opened for Jools Holland on occasion, and despite sometimes feeling awkward when playing the supporting act she says that Jools and his band “have made us feel quite welcome.” Many have commented on Imelda’s style of music which is undoubtedly rooted in the fifties-era of such luminaries as Buddy Holly, Elvis and Eddie Cochran. The jazz and blues scene has also excited her and in this regard it was Billy Holiday who has been the main source of influence. Nonetheless, it has been the use of her bodhràn which has elicited the most interest musically and how she has made it fit in with the rockabilly sound. Imelda reckons that the rockabilly sound is quite closely re-

lated to Irish music in that “the rhythms are quite intense”, and that this probably appealed to her without her realising it.

‘‘Jools and his band have made us quite welcome’’ One of the little known facts about Imeldas that she was once nominated for the burlesque singer of the year 2007. Imelda says herself “A friend of mine, Dave

Richardson, ran this club called the Whoopie club and it was from there we really started.” The show itself is not all about the women, in fact a variety of acts perform – from contortionists to giants. If, however, the show is not done properly it can quickly become seedy and it was here that Imelda and her bluesy/rockabilly voice came in to put a gloss and air of respectability to the place. It has quite a large womenfollowing as the women who perform have “wobbly bits” and at the end of the day are just looking for a bit of light relief rather than anything sexual. On the music industry Imelda is refreshingly forthright in her opinions. Originally

turned record la her soun enough, hold an knocking say the m side dow see what would pe bornness give up album in Indeed, payment of mone that tho the pow music s mass me enough to music

College Tribune | 3rd March 2009


A sideways look at... the death of the music ‘industry’

n Mahon about her

s appearance on Later

The music industry over the past ten years has been given more kick-in-the-balls wakeup-calls than any other. It has taken this long for the industry to realise that music fiends, with their eyes glued to every napster-esque application that they can get their sticky freeloading fingers on, will not flinch in the face of moral ambiguity and will now only buy CDs in order to use them as frisbees and beer mats. The music industry has made us all painfully aware of the losses that it has been incurring due to said intellectual property theft (i.e. stealing). Hence why some have downloaded every one of Britney Spears’ albums fifteen times over – the loss must eventually trickle down to her. Of course, the idea that the industry is going bust is only a reality for smaller independent labels, otherwise they are all still, by and large, rich gits. Nonetheless, they will continue to point and call foul upon things like Soulseek, LastFM, iTunes, and other entertainment sectors such as DVDs and Video

Games which are eating into their profits. ‘What? Wait a second. You mean people are actually competing with the music industry within a capitalist environment? No way! And they’re doing so with better, more innovative ideas towards attaining consumer satisfaction?’ Maybe the real reason the music industry is losing out is because they are dullards. Admittedly, the music industry is in an insoluble predicament, whereby they can’t sell what is already available for free, and iTunes has already become the mode of choice for those who still want to pay . It does, however, stem from the fact that they didn’t see mp3s coming. If they had, they would have ditched the CD and got to grips with digital distribution and the wrangling legal issues. So, lots of ifs, lots of hows, and lots of whys – the most plausible of which was presented by the Dead Kennedys way back in 1985; it’s because “they made one too many lousy records”. Look it up, kids. Then steal it. Stephen Tuohy

ly overnight success that

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turned down by numerous record labels on the basis that her sound wasn’t commercial enough, Imelda still doesn’t hold any grudges. “I’m not knocking them for it, like you say the music industry is all upside down and they couldn’t see what I was trying to do and would people buy it.” Her stubbornness didn’t allow her to give up and she recorded the album in her husband’s studio. Indeed, the band forwent any payment because of the lack of money. May still reckons that those people who have the power in relation to the music scene, along with the mass media, don’t give people enough credit when it comes to music.

from Wednesday 4th March

Wednesday 4th March: Gaslight Anthem, Academy, €17.50, doors at 8pm

Wednesday 11th March: Ponytail, Whelan’s, €15, doors at 8pm Friday 13th March:

Thursday 5th March: Mark Geary, Whelan’s, €20, doors at 8pm; Iglu & Hartly, Academy, €16,

Q-Tip, Button Factory, €30, doors at 7.30pm Halfset, Whelan’s, €12, doors at 8pm Baby Jenx, Upstairs in Whelan’s, €10, doors at

Friday 6th March:

Saturday 14th March:

Andrea Bocelli, O2, €55€155, doors at 6.30pm Secret Affair, Whelan’s, €25, doors at 8pm Iglu & Hartly, Academy, €16, doors at 8pm

One For The Road: A Road Records Benefit and Celebration feat. Jape, The Jimmy Cake, Si Schroeder, Colm Mac Con Iomaire and Adrian Cro ley, Andrew’s Lane, €20,

Saturday 7th March:

Sunday 15th March: The Laundry Shop, Whelan’s, €8, doors at 8pm

Peter Bjorn and John, Button Factory, €18, doors at 8pm Padraig Rushe, Sugar Club, Sunday 8th March: Caruso, Whelan’s, €10, doors at 8pm

Monday: 16th March: Lily Allen, Academy, €33, doors at 8pm Butterfly Explosion, Whelan’s, €10, doors at


College Tribune | 3rd March 2009


Giving It All Tim McIlrath, frontman of Illinois punk rockers Rise Against, chats to Jim Scully about the group’s enthusiasm for touring, how mainstream popularity hasn’t compromised the band’s message, and how they remain as committed to the cause now as they were when they formed ten years ago.

In 1974, three young men from the Queens, New York City, started something that would change music forever. They presented a whole new sound, a sound that would bear influence for generations to come, for artists of all disciplines. In 2009, thirty five years after the birth of the Ramones, we can look back on the movement they spawned and where it has brought us today. We have seen bands like the Ramones carry punk from its humble beginnings in the late Sixties, through the revolutionary Seventies with bands like the Sex Pistols and the Clash, on to the Eighties hardcore scene of Black Flag and Bad Brains, and from there to the Nineties where we found the groups that helped shape punk as we know it today. Bad Religion, Rancid and Nofx have all played a major role, both directly, and indirectly, in pushing punk rock forward to where it is today. One group who would share this view is Chicago’s Rise Against, whose roots are firmly planted in the hardcore punk scene – but of course, given that Fat Mike of Nofx was the one responsible for giving them their first record deal, through his own Fat Wreck Chords. Over a shaky telephone line from somewhere in Eu-

rope, lead singer Tim McIlrath says, “We owe a lot to Fat Mike, and Fat Wreck Chords, for adopting us in their family, just really cultivating our career, and being there for us in lots of different ways” Rise Against have come a long way from their first release on Fat Wreck Chords, 2001’s The Unraveling. Their latest installment, Appeal to Reason opened at #3 on the billboard 200 in the US, and on the back of this they have done what Rise Against always do: take to the road, and don’t turn off it for a long time. After they made their way across the US with old hometown friends Alkaline Trio, along with Thrice and The Gaslight Anthem, they found themselves venturing across Europe and the UK, stopping only to squeeze in a blisteringly energetic, sold-out Irish date. With a tour alongside punk icons Rancid on the horizon, the band aren’t slowing down anytime soon. However, Tim McIlrath is quick to point out that the band didn’t always enjoy such successful tours. “It’s been a long haul but it’s been definitely worth it and it constantly amazes us all, especially now. We’re here in Germany, now we’re headlining clubs we used to open, it puts

it all into perspective, when we think back to the time when kids were throwing shit at you cause they hated your band”. The band seems to live for the road, using each stage as a stepping stone to their next destination. The Chicago native seems unphased by the rigorous amounts of touring that lie ahead,” this year has been the most enjoyable year to be in Rise Against, in the States our tour with Alkaline Trio, Thrice and The Gaslight Anthem, that was an incredible tour for us and everyone else and now we’re here in Germany with Strike Anywhere, going to the UK with Anti Flag, and then Australia with the International Noise Conspiracy. We will then go back to the States with Rancid and The Riverboat Gamblers, so we’ve managed to get on the road with so many amazing bands that we’re legitimately proud to share the stage with”. Success of this stature was not something that the band themselves expected to ever achieve, and McIlrath himself would be the first to admit it. “It’s pretty overwhelming as you can imagine, we’re just kind of four kids that came out of the hardcore punk scene, and we just started opening for some of our favour-

ite bands, plugging along, playing shows, and accumulated fans along the way”. So how do four kids from the punk scene reach such heights? What exactly was it that made Rise Against the one band that rose above the rest? “I don’t know what to attribute our success to, I think about it a lot, I think that the hard work and the work ethic we have certainly helps, I’d say there’s a lot of luck involved. Right time, right place. There’s a lot of our punk rock family that helped us out, Fat Wreck chords, Fat Mike who signed us when we were young, and all his bands like Sick Of It All, The Mad Caddies, Strung Out, No Use For a Name, they all took us out on tour with them. We had a lot of help from our older brothers in punk rock”. Even though the band was surrounded with all this help and support, they still decided to move on from Fat Wreck Chords, but as with anything they do it wasn’t an easy choice for the band to make. “Every

single decision we make with this band we consider very seriously, we consider how we feel about it, how we’ll sleep at night, how it’ll affect the reputation of the band, we take all of that very seriously.” The affect on that very reputation seemed to be something the band was concerned about while with Fat Wreck Chords, and in the end was the decisive factor in leaving the label. “One of the obvious downsides to that [being signed to Fat], was we got stigmatised to being with Fat, Fat for all extensive purposes has an established sound, we were lumped in with a lot of bands that, as much as we love them, we didn’t sound like them, people would see the Fat logo on our record, and think ‘oh this must be the new Lagwagon, or No Use For A Name junior’. And we got really stigmatised in the whole punk scene, so we weren’t taken very seriously by the hardcore scene”. This led to the band leaving Fat Wreck Chords and signing with

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College Tribune | 3rd March 2009

major label, Geffen Records. Moving record labels normally wouldn’t concern most music fans, but given the contempt for major labels and business within certain circles in the punk community, it’s always going to bring criticism from certain corners of the band’s fanbase if they sign a major deal. Accusations of selling-out are normally not far away, and it was no different for Rise Against, yet as Tim McIlrath explains, the band didn’t let it effect them negatively in any way. “In the band there were no negative effects, but you need to remember that when we signed to Fat, we were hearing the cries of ‘sell-out’, it was Chicago was calling us sell-outs because we signed to Fat Wreck, so to be sitting here looking back at when people called us sell-outs for signing with Fat is funny, there’s always going to be someone along the way who’s going to cry foul, I think that stems from a very normal reaction we all have, in that there’s a lot of bands out

there we feel we’ve kind of discovered. Like, I want that band to be my band, I was one of those kids, I was pissed when Bad Religion signed to a major label but I think that’s part of life, part of growing up, part of going through adolescence.” It would be easy to dismiss this as McIlrath justifying the lure of signing with a major label, and the benefits that come with that, but he goes on to explain that he has no shame of being in branded as mainstream. “I’m all for the crossover to the mainstream because within punk there is a set of ideals that’s beneficial to the world in general.” It’s not often that someone from a punk rock background would so blatantly admit to being comfortable in the mainstream, although he explains that he believes that the positives far outway the negatives. “The only negative I see is it’s getting bigger, a lot of bands have borrowed the mohawks and the spike belts, but they’ve left


behind the guts in their crossover to the mainstream world, that’s the only part that really gets me sad.” Just to be sure you don’t accuse him of selling out he adds that “If you cross over to the mainstream and leave that set of values or ideals behind, you make punk just this comedy, it’s a costume show.” That set of ideals is something that McIlrath believes can be attributed to the success of the band. “I think our band came out in a fairly tumultuous political climate. In a way, the world was creating fans of bands like Rise Against without even knowing it, the world was doing a succesful job of just frustrating the youth of today, and when the youth of today was looking for music that reflects the world around them, in a lot of ways they weren’t finding that, there was a lack of music that was addressing the problems of the world, and in that time we were one of the few bands that people could latch onto”. This has always been something that fans of the band have fed off. Rise Against have always been a band who are active in society as a whole, not just within the music communi-

ty. A visit to the band’s MySpace page makes their commitment to various causes very clear. The band have always been very vocal on the matters close to their heart, both through their music and the various media outlets available to them. On their latest record, topics such as war, the environment, and suspicious politics all come under scrutiny. Undoubtedly, the aggressive lyrics of unrest are one of the bands most appealing traits to the socially conscious youth, and McIlrath knows it. “So many bands that are trying to be successful are so afraid of alienating their audience so they don’t want to take a stance on anything, which is the antithesis of this band, we do as we feel.” Granted, the band’s songs of dissent and unrest are what make them who they are, but in this newly optimistic political era, have the band anything left to sing about? While it would be easy to sit back and feel that everything is perfect in the world, the socially aware frontman has no intentions of doing so. “I think there’s even more reason to sing now, because one of the things that

was proved in the last election is that dissent equals progress, I think that when America finally woke up and stopped being afraid to voice their dissent and opinion on what was going on in the war and the Bush administration, from the environment, to foreign policy, to corruption within the White House, once America grew of set a balls and said ‘we’re sick of this’, then that’s when change really happened... Speaking out against the administration of your country should not be considered unpatriotic, it should be considered necessary.” Rise Against are undoubtedly a band who wear their hearts on their sleeves, and while the entirety of the punk community may not agree with the choices they have made in the past, few can question their commitment to what they believe in or their music and fans. With a busy year of touring continuing and more tours in the works, there doesn’t seem to be any sign of the band taking a rest just yet, but then again, taking time out doesn’t seem to be on the top of the bands agenda. “2010 looks like a little break coming up but until then we’re busy.”


Siren FASHION the


College Tribune | 3rd February 2009 College Tribune | 3rd March 2009

Oscars Fashion


Aoife Smyth points out the true importance of the Acadamy Awards The Oscars dress.... Each year we sit glued to this three and a half hour awards ceremony with one purpose in mind- to gawk at the dresses. As these preened ladies glide elegantly down the red carpet towards their possible little gold statue, us viewers sit and judge them. In the words of Courtney Love, "The Oscars isn’t about who wins, it's about who wears the best dress". The best part is when someone messes up. As bold as that sounds, we all know it is true. There is nothing better than a scantily clad lady as old as your Nana, or a kooky singer with a fake swan draped over

her torso, posing for the paparazzi. But the scary thing about the media is, a small thing like a bad fashion choice for the Oscars can actually disrupt a celebrity’s career. Photos of bad Oscar dresses follow celebrities around for more than the three week after the Oscars, to say the least. A bad fashion choice is always more memorable than any other. So there's the good. Take Audrey Hepburn who won Best Actress in 1954 for the film "Roman Holiday". She wore a silk, floral, sleeveless Givenchy dress with a belt defining her tiny little waist. It was simple, but most of all it was classic. The following year Grace Kelly wore an Edith Head, aqua-coloured, silk dress in which the material alone cost forty grand. In 1999, Sharon Stone grabbed the attention of the snappers with a simple statement involving her husband's Gap shirt, which cost a total of 20 dollars, teamed with a long floor length skirt. In 2002 after becoming the first African American woman to win best actress, Halle Berry made

the headlines with her beautiful Elie Saab dress, with strategically placed flowers on her upper half. Then there's the bad. Think Gwyneth Paltrow's sheer top by Alexander McQueen in 2002, where she revealed a lot more than we desired. The black poofy skirt she teamed it with was even more of a horrific sight. In 1999 Celine Dion shocked the public by daring to leave her house in a white John Galliano suit, WORN BACKWARDS! She teamed this with a tackalicious matching trilby. Finally, the ugly. Cher has my prize for the worst ever Oscars outfit. In 1988 she wore a black Bob Mackie number, which was really a sheer dress with sequins over her privates. Now, I don't care if it was the eighties, nobody can pull of a show girl dress at the Oscar. At this year’s Oscars we saw a lot of metallics and off the shoulder dresses. Kate Winslet was voted best dressed in an opinion poll, and she deserved the recognition as her steal grey off the shoulder dress re-

The only consistency in fashion is the knowledge that the times are changin’ says Aoife Ryan The McDonald's advertisement is right- one minute you are bang on trend and the next you are as fashion conscious as a builder on the job. That's mainstream fashion unless you decide to opt for a more personal, off the beaten track style, which should be encouraged as long as your natural senses don't have you steering towards outfits that even the elderly community or stripper community wouldn't approve of. The reason high end fashion is so mutable is because once it embraces something, it must soon commend something opposing this, to show their versatility and creativity. Everything is a rebellion of sort; season's being a turn away from last season's frills and softness in favour of edgy eighties clothes and bright make-up palettes. More and more now we are seeing unusual, striking outfits on women at red carpet events. Instead of choosing safe frocks, we are now seeing celebrities veer towards slick jumpsuits, baggy pants and

fitted tuxedos. Maggie Gyllenhaal was spotted in a backless black jumpsuit earlier this year on the red carpet, proving the cut is what is important rather than whether it is a dress or not. Femininity and sexuality do not have to be compromised by the decision to 'revolt' against the norm. This may seem slightly odd as, especially in the last two seasons, fashion has been embracing the essentials, something that doesn't scream defiant insurgency. The less than tropical weather so many of us have to endure has been recognised, allowing hats, wellies, scarves, boots, jumper dresses and wedges rather than heels to take to the fore. Deceivingly though, the bid for comfort is really a way of stating their position as the anti, and soon the cries for a more dangerous in-style will be heard. Just as what women should wear as formal dress has been questioned, what time of year we should wear something, either colour-wise or in relation to the warmth factor,

and the height of our shoes will soon be too. One great example of this is hats. Once considered as important to be worn continually as shoes, they no doubt swayed out of style for a large period of time to be seen only as practical clothing, but are now deep in the midst of their comeback as continual day wear. High street choice has evolved in this department too. The bowler, the beanie, the beret, the baker boy cap, the fedora, the panama straw hat, the porkpie (indented flat top, think blues/ jazz player) and bucket (wide and droops towards eyes) hats as well as the 1920s reminiscent cloche (bell-shaped) hat are among the many choices available. People are now asking who said hat hair was such a bad thing. Even within the favoured garment there is a clash from time to time. Take the dungaree this seasonan outfit beforehand perhaps better suited for a farmhand, sevenyear old or pregnant woman but now thrown into the spotlight.

Ruth tion

ally was a show stealer. Designed by Stefano Pilati for Yves Saint Laurent, and teamed with Chopard Carat diamonds, Kate's dress made her look like a real starlet. Sarah Jessica Parker gained attention with her princess like white Dior haute couture dress. The magical, strapless number was beautifully embellished with diamantes on the bodice.

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College Tribune | 3rd March 2009



How to dress like a Gossip Girl Ruth O’Neill takes inspiration from TV’s new slick

If Blair Waldorf and Serena Van Der Woodson walked through the Arts Block of UCD, let’s just say you would notice them. Not for their striking model-esque looks, but more importantly for their impeccable style and to-die-forwardrobe. However, fear not fellow female students, (there is no threat) as these people aren’t real, they are fictional characters of the ber popular hit-show Gossip Girl. Similar to Sex and the City, GG’s style is almost seen as an additional character of the show. The style formula is as follows; Upper-east side preppy designer meets ultra cool vintage. Very New York City. Think Alexa Chung on a groomed day, with more bursts of colour than the London style palette. It exudes money, only fash-

ion know-alls could spot the Zac Posen and Philip Lim numbers, perhaps more of us ‘run of the mill fashion lovers’ would only notice the Chanel bags and Hermes totes. Serena’s style is that Kate Moss ‘throw anything together’ eclectic look- waist coasts, ties, skinny jeans. She personifies the ‘boho chic’ look-relaxed yet fashion-forward. When she does wear dresses to the elite upper -east side social events, they are always dresses that have something unexpected about them: studs, sequins, patterns, or a pretty design. Paired with sparkly black & gold tights, the look is casual yet funky at the same time. Whereas the ‘queen bee’ of the show- Blair Waldorf- her look is primed and preened, high main-

tenance to the max. She flutes around the city and hosts exclusive parties in floral dresses accompanied by corsage hair bands and Miu Mui bowler bags. Her fashion sense is definitely the quintessential upper-eastside stereotype, and she’s not ashamed of it. Blair is a total girlygirl at heart, and because of this, she loves to incorporate feminine touches like lace, bows, and ruffles, into her outfits. Of both characters, hair is kept wavy full of volume, although never too messy and make up is consistently kept fresh to a minimum. These upper- east siders never dare to look tangoed. New Yorkers juts don’t do the bronzed look- it’s seen as tacky and unfashionable. Forget picking up the latest Vogue

THE EFFECTS OF ACID Jessica Whyte considers the difference a little colour can make When one considers the current, global, economic climate, it is no surprise that the emergence of acid colour as a dominant trend from this season’s ready-to-wear collections, took fashion experts by surprise. From Lanvin to Luella, from Dior to Dries there has been an explosion of neon green, acid yellow, hot pink and electric orange. For many followers of fashion, this trend effectively throws a luminous spanner in the works. It has been tradition, in times of financial crisis, for people to send their glad-rags into hibernation and resurrect wardrobe items their mothers once complimented as “smart”. As society is forced to tighten its belt, it is also inadvertently expected to lose all sense of style, to don mundane, functional clothes and obey the

golden rule of ‘any colour so long as it’s black’. Though there is certainly much to be benefited from the now vintage method of dressing by constructing a wardrobe comprised of classic pieces and one off wonders, who’s to say that a bright coloured garment cannot feature in everyday clothing? Ireland as a nation faces a few extra hurdles when it comes to tackling colour. A traditional genetic make-up of snow-white skin coupled with traumatising weather conditions means it is no surprise that the only colourful “garment” sported with confidence by an Irish woman is a G.A.A jersey (the less said about those offensive things the better.) It does make sense however, that in a country where the sun spends all day skulk-

ing around dark, menacing clouds, where a “good day” is one where your umbrella hasn’t surrendered to gale force winds and torrential rain, that women bypass a metallic green shift dress in Topshop and head straight for ‘neutral territory’. In truth it would be wrong to suggest that all areas of Irish society have banished colour from their clothes. Over recent years, fuelled by lengthy excursions to the west cost of America and a fear of their own skin pigment, university students across Ireland have attempted to emulate the girls of Orange County by teaming vibrant ensembles with a thick coating of St.Tropez. It seems that the majority of “colour users” in Ireland are also false tan abusers. Mixing vibrant fabrics with a se-

vere application of fake tan renders the function of colour totally useless, which is to accentuate and highlight ones natural colouring- it must also be noted that anyone who lacquers themselves in a shade of mud is unquestionably colour-blind. As the media bombards our television screens and news stands with headlines proclaiming “global economy spiralling out of control” and “all is lost”, society needs to prepare themselves for a tough few years. Now is the time to step out of the dark and embrace colour in a new and refreshing light. A simple step towards this change is to banish any pre-established complexes about wearing colour: the entire world has been force fed the gospel of Trinny and Susannah about how red heads can’t wear

orange and brunettes can’t wear yellow etc. There is absolutely no right or wrong way to experiment with colour and banishing brunettes, blondes and red heads from a certain colour palette simply extinguishes any glimmer of creativity associated with fashion. They say that a peacock defends itself from being attacked by predators by confusing them with its colourful feathers. As we prepare to do battle with the recession perhaps we too should lean towards the element of surprise by rising above the standard shades. Colour, when approached with an open mind can project an exotic air of confidence and optimism as well as a beautiful ensemble. With such a wealth of choice on the High street in every price bracket, there really is

ren FILM



College Tribune | 3rd March 2009


Maith an Mac Leinn


Plot: This is the second part of Steven Soderbergh’s unconventional biopic of Che Guevara. Following the Cuban Revolution and the subsequent creation of the legend of Che, the real man arrives in Bolivia to assist the rebel forces to battle the government. After he arrives, Che finds his armed campaign without support from the Bolivian Communist party and consequently he embarks on a rebellion terminally under equipped.

a more intriguing film. With the myth established in both the film’s world as well as our own, the acting of Benicio Del Toro achieves a greater purpose providing the character with an appropriate elusiveness in place of the drabness of Part 1. Soderbergh’s distanced and unobtrusive approach is also more suitable here and serves to create a sense of shock and compassion in the final scenes.

Verdict: Offering a similar set up as its predecessor, Che Part 2 is

Nicholas Broadstock


Plot: Marley and Me is the story of an un-trainable yet lovable Labrador named Marley and the impact he has on a young family that grows up around him. The beginning of the film is cringingly cheesy as Jennifer (Jennifer Aniston) ticks off things from her meticulously planned life schedule; marry: tick, Job: tick, new house: tick. When the couple takes home a new dog, a clearance puppy, they soon realise why he was sold at bargain price. Verdict: Marley is really the only good thing about the film, highlighted by the fact that John Grogan’s (Owen Wilson ) career takes off when he

writes about the humorous antics of Marley. The couple’s attempts to be as cute as their dog fail miserably. Their relationship is boring because it’s far too perfect and even the holiday they take to Ireland is clichéd with horrific attempts at an Irish accent. Although sweet, the corny script and predictability make sure the movie is an excruciating ordeal. Katie Godwin

UCD’s own TG4 protégée Eoghan McDermott speaks to the College Tribune about kissing Cheryl Cole and keeping his feet on the ground “UCD? Yeah, I enjoyed it immensely. Probably a bit too much, actually – I left it having displayed the academic prowess of a head of lettuce,” laughs Eoghan McDermott. Seeing as McDermott is now working as a presenter on TG4’s music and chat show Pop4, aswell as starring in the Irish TV drama Seacht, it’s clear that his lack of acquaintance with the UCD library didn’t hold him back. During his second year of Irish and Politics, he became one of the first presenters on TG4 who was not a native Irish speaker. “Even now, on Pop4, my Irish is littered with English, which TG4 aren’t mad about, but I think it makes it more accessible. I speak Dublin-school Irish, and as the audience of Pop4 is mainly teenagers, that’s what they’re learning and how they speak, so it’s just a bit easier to understand and relate to.” Though his enjoyment of the Irish language was apparently not inspired by his time in U.C.D; “Being taught Irish in U.C.D was like being anally probed by

a group of curious aliens!” he scoffs, adding, “Seriously, it was ridiculous. We only had one hour of language lab a week, so after three years you had people leaving college not being able to speak it, which is bizarre. I went the opposite way; I can speak it but I can’t write Irish and my spelling is atrocious.” This oral-based approach to Irish is evidently working for the 25 year old. Currently airing on both TG4 and BBC2 is the second series of Seacht, a drama revolving around the lives and loves of seven Irish-speaking teenagers. Both the show itself and McDermott’s role in it as Pete, an irresponsible and drug-taking but likeable DJ, have garnered great reviews. “Yeah, well, that’s clearly down to my dashing good looks” he jests, refusing to take the compliment seriously. “Really, I’m not the greatest actor in the world. Presenting is really where I am at, it’s more me.” So is this the grand plan? “Grand plan? God, I don’t know…I don’t really have one. It’s just such a mad industry, I mean once you get past a certain level of

competency, making it big all depends of who you know and who likes you.” And his participation on MTV’s Pick Me MTV, a reality show aimed at finding a new presenter proved this point. Having made the final ten, McDermott was booted out of the competition after having a public bust up with panel judge and singer Alesha Dixon. “God, what a bitch! She just hated me. Feeling’s mutual now!” Thankfully not all of his encounters with the rich and famous are so tense. Two years on Pop4 and his work as radio presenter on Spin 103.8 have allowed him to interview most of the big names out there, and he claims that most are absolutely lovely, and highlights include interviewing Girls Aloud. “Cheryl Cole kissed me. Fact!” Being the receiver of Cheryl Cole’s attention and getting to attend events like the World Music Awards in Monte Carlo where stars like Beyonce and Mariah Carey are in attendance hasn’t gone to his head though. “I present a show in Ireland. No-

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Plot: The film begins in 1836, the year before Queen Victoria (Emily Blunt) ascended the throne, and follows the young royal's life for four years. In this time we learn about the monarch who is now forgotten and replaced with the image of the older, dreary and frumpy Queen Vic. Here she is a girl of eighteen years given reign over a strong empire and seems more interested in washing her pet dog and dancing through the corridors. The film reverts to her childhood to show Victoria confined to the house from an early age by her controlling mother. Her mar-



riage to German Prince Albert and their whirlwind romance is the main focus of the film. Verdict: The film is backed by big names such as Scorsese, a feat in itself. It manages to capture the intensity of aristocratic life and succeeds as another pretty, lavish production peeking at the private lives of larger than life characters. Enjoyable but unoriginal. Aoife Ryan

This 1999 American football classic is arguably Al Pacino’s greatest role. He fronts an all star cast which includes Cameron Diaz, James Woods, Jamie Foxx and Dennis Quaid. The film is based around the success of the third string quarter back Willie Beamen. In the ever changing game we see how stars like Beamen can slip through the cracks. This is shown by his aging coach Tony D’Amato, who has given everything to the game. He has lost his wealth, his youth and his family. He tries to make Beamen learn from his mistakes and in doing so gets over his own problems. This is all challenged by the greedy, power hungry owner of the team. She symbolises the new breed of owner we are now seeing coming into every team game. Where player’s lives no longer matter, and where the game is only treated as a

business. Any Given Sunday is a brilliant movie and nearing the end, Pacino delivers one of the best speech’s ever to grace a film. It’s like an action/drama movie on steroids which is helped accentuated with a great soundtrack. The on pitch scenes are fast flowing and intense and will have you cringing at every crunching tackle and smiling when a play goes right. It is superbly written and director Oliver Stone doesn’t hold back when showing you the battles on and off the pitch. You don’t need to know anything about the game of American football to enjoy this as you’ll almost certainly get behind the team and the coach. If you haven’t seen this yet, make it a priority. Maximillian Harding


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College Tribune | 3rd March 2009

one knows my name! I’m known as ‘TG4 Guy’, and even then I only get called it by drunken groups in Temple Bar at one in the morning!” he laughs. McDermott is happy with the level of anonymity Irish television allows him, stating, “I don’t want just to be famous, I want to work in the media, there’s a difference. I hate this reality TV generation thing, people want to get famous for no reason, and without working for it. To be honest, if I was able to earn enough money, I’d stick with dancing.” Oh yes, that. Adding to his list of accomplishments is McDermott’s dance career, which involves not only teaching all over Dublin but dancing


Well worth the Plot: This is the long awaited adaptation of Alan Moore's revered graphic novel. The story is set in an alternative 1985 where Richard Nixon is still the American President and the Cold War is at its height. A mysterious gang of superheroes known collectively as the Watchmen, who have altered the world affairs of the twentieth century, have found themselves outlawed. When the comedian, one of the Watchmen, is murdered the other members investigate suspecting that there is a serial killer intent on disposing of them as well.

at such high profile events like Chris Brown’s recent concerts in Ireland. “Yeah, but then you get gigs at the other end of the spectrum, like I danced at a Shaggy gig in a circus tent for about three people, it was awful. Right now though I’m working on setting up a dance school, hopefully it’ll be up and running by next year.” As the interview ends, McDermott stops me. “Wait! This is a UCD paper, I have to give a shout-out to my girlfriend, she’s studying radiography there and she’ll kill me if I don’t mention her. You’re lovely!” He then adds “She can’t hold her drink though, she whacked my friend’s broken nose last night as a joke after one

too many daiquiris.” When asked does he want her named and shamed in the paper, McDermott is hesitant. “Eh, that little anecdote, maybe not - I’ll be in big trouble!” Good to know that something intimidates this lad; from his confident demeanour and the success he’s achieving across the board, he was coming across as irritatingly unstoppable. Seacht airs on TG4 Mondays at 10.55 and on BB2 Tuesdays at 10 Pop4 airs on TG4 Saturdays and Mondays at 5.55 Roe McDermott


Verdict: To the chimes of effective but overused remnants of the counter-culture that obviously didn't occur in the right-wing nightmare that is the world of Watchmen, the first true blockbuster of 2009 is a kind of a liberal retort to The Dark Knight's unashamed vigilantism. Compellingly tackling the graphic novel's multiple perspectives and narrative forms, Zack Snyder reveals new facets to his direction which many feared he did not possess following the controversial but knuckleheaded 300. In fact, Watchmen maintains a focus

and relative sophistication on the political repercussions of the existence of actual superheroes in a world resembling our own. There are occasional missteps for instance in the pacing, trying as it does to include a significant amount of background information, as well as weak casting in the key role of Ozymandias. These however prove minor gripes in a successful adaptation that easily justifies its near three hour length. Nicholas Broadstock

A dark comedy about a small community in Dublin whose lives and loves interweave though a bizarre series of events including the over turning of a public bus and a burglary committed in order to win back an old girlfriend. It may not be Michael Collins, but Intermission has a way of making you feel quite patriotic. Whether it’s the brutal honesty of the public who comment loudly on a young woman’s ronnie, the dancing single seniors trying to get stuck into younger men or the old detective acting like he’s on CSI, the movie highlights the cringy aspects of modern day Irish society and makes you laugh at yourself all the way through. The Field A drama about a small town Irish farmer Bull Mc Cabe, who’s as weathered and beaten as the soil, fighting for a plot of land which his family has taken care of, but not owned, for generations. It’s a tiny patch of land with little mineral content but it means everything to this ogre of a man who seems to have failed in all other aspects of his life. When the field goes up for auction, Bull is determined to buy it but an Irish American man swoops onto the scene with cash to burn. Despite what the title suggests, this film isn’t really about a field (the one in question is useless) but about the strong will of an Irish man who has put his life into maintaining the land handed down to him. My Left Foot

A biopic based on the life of an Irish man, Christy Brown who was born with sever cerebral

palsy which made it impossible for him to control his speech and entire body, with the exception of his left foot. His parents refuse to put him in an institution and so Christy experiences Dublin street life first hand playing football with the local boys and his brothers. At home he learns to properly control his foot so he can write with it. His strong will and perseverance lead him to grow up as an accomplished poet, painter and autobiographer. This movie is truly the tale of an inspiring Irish man. The Commitments

A musical comedy about a handful of unemployed Dublin musicians who decide to start a soul band. Jimmy Rabbitt explains that there is method behind the madness of this idea, claiming that north-siders are the blacks of Dublin, who are the blacks of Ireland, who are the blacks of Europe. The movie is a mix of the energy of soul music combined with life in Ireland. A group of North-siders investing in the future and striving against the odds makes for a truly stirring Irish film; it’s a movie made for the soul. Yu Ming is Ainm Dom This is a short film about a Chinese man who decides to visit Ireland and, reading that Gaelic is the main language spoken, teaches himself Irish. Unsurprisingly, when he arrives in Dublin speaking Irish, nobody can understand him; they all think that he’s speaking Chinese. Thinking that his own Irish is at fault, Yu is depressed until he meets an old Irish speaking man in a pub who explains to Yu the situation. This film is brilliantly ironic as well as clever; it urges people to speak Irish as the main message is that if a man from China can learn Irish, so can the Irish people-lean ar aghaidh. Katie Godwin

Siren THE SKIP the


College Tribune | 3rd March 2009


Handbags and Gladrags With the recent Dramsoc production of ‘A Couple of Poor Polish Speaking Romanians’, curiosity gets the better of Katie Godwin to find out what is behind such a name. As she delves into the murky underworld of Dramsoc. Written by Dorota Maslowski, Directed by Lisa Carroll ‘A Couple Of Poor, Polish Speaking Romanians’ tells the tale of a drugged up polish couple comprising of an actor (Parcha) and a psychopathic slapper (Dzina) and the drug induced events which occur to them after they leave a dress-up party which include: giving €5,000 and an mp3 player to a taxi man, drinking straight vodka while pregnant and pretending to be Russian and threat-

ening to attack a taxi man with a potato peeler. These happenings are somewhat original but they have only vague relevance to the plot. The whole story seems to be just an exaggeratedly eccentric night out with no intellectual stimulation or satisfaction which one expects at the theatre. It touches a multitude of themes including suicide, drugs, racism, love, feminism and failed motherhood but, frustratingly, fails to develop any of them. This, combined with the nu-

merous unanswered questions at the end of the play, leave you feeling unsettled and wonder what Dorota Maslowski is saying with this piece. Lisa Carroll’s production didn’t really do anything to enhance our understanding of what Maslowska was trying to achieve except perhaps demonstrate how aggravating drunk polish women can be. Dzina (played by Caitriona Ennis) gave an impressive imitation of a drugged up polish nutcase. Yet she was

so irritating that when she reveals how lonely and unwanted she feels and commits suicide, nobody feels the sorrow that usually follows. In general the acting was impressive, particularly that of Craig White who played Parcha but the strong Dublin accents distorted the Polish feel of the play and made things slightly confusing. The set design for the first scene was creative and deserves credit. An air freshener hanging down from the theatre roof, a pizza box steering-

wheel, a stack of crates and cushions, two desk lamps and somebody’s iPod speakers were daringly budget but worked in creating the idea of a car. This combined with Lisa Carroll and Finbarr Doyle on the sidelines waving around lamps. Overall the show was interesting but the good acting and amusing set design failed to compensate for the lack of wit or sense of the script with which they were working.

BOOKS Espionage Excellence


A pioneering adventure book, The Thirty-Nine Steps is an archetypal example of the man on the run story which remains as popular as ever in both novels and films. Written in 1915 shortly after the outbreakoftheFirstWorldWar,thestory follows Richard Hannay who, due to a chance encounter with a spy, becomes involved in an investigation concerning events that are of international importance. Following the spy’s murder Hannay flees to Scotland to hideout while he deciphers a journal which could hold vital secrets regarding a mole in the British government. Buchan’s fast moving story involves the now expected twists and turns along with an underlying humour. This playfulness can even be seen in the individual chapter titles which allude to the many different roles Hannay takes on to evade his pursuers. Using fictional characters, Hannay’s story is positioned as the unseen

events that led to the outbreak of the war in 1914. The use of Brittish and Scottish landscape in particular gives the story an alien dimension and a peculiar atmosphere of paranoia when compared with much of the globe-trotting adventures that would follow in its wake. The political dimension of assassinations and spies can be (and has been) adapted to fit with anymajorconflictbelyingthenovel’s perceived purpose as a piece of entertaining propaganda on its initial release. UltimatelyTheThirty-NineStepsisan exciting read even to those familiar with the book’s many adaptations; deviating as they do from some of theoriginal’sparticularlywittytwists and even the fundamental element of what the thirty-nine steps actually means. Nicholas Broadstock

Hellish Shenanigans I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell is over 250 pages of fornication, debauchery and alcoholism. The novel focuses on Law student, Tucker Max, who reveals how his life of sexual and alcoholic indulgences and obnoxious and selfish behaviour has led to his six-figure income. Tucker openly calls himself an asshole in the first chapter and then proceeds to explain why using a collection of embarrassing sexual encounters. These include ejaculating on a girls face, wetting a girls bed and blaming it on her and making a fat girl (who he just slept with) jump out the window of his apartment so his friends don’t see her. The most humorous aspect of this novel is Maxx’s blunt honesty; he isn’t afraid to leave out any sticky details despite them being self degrading. However the book isn’t just about a sexually promiscuous guy, the main point it makes is that you don’t have to conform to societies etiquettes to

I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL TUCKER MAXX be successful. Tucker treats women the way he likes, crashes into a donut shop and has a bad case of diarrhea all over a hotel lobby. However, he is not concerned about reforming and instead he brags that his rash behaviour has brought him fame. He is like an American Russell Brand, receiving praise for blatant obnoxiousness. What is ironic about this book is that Tucker speaks of mistreating and ridiculing women but he ultimately tells ladies what they need to hear when he offers this very shrewd suggestion. "Ladies let me give you some advice: Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as "deserving" respect; you get what you demand from people," I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell triggers both hearty laughter as well as some very welcome, serious self-reflection. Katie Godwin

College Tribune | 3rd March 2009


ould be President stuyou?

rights I will hether t if I’m gether mprove mprove arking.

Manifesto: My most important issue will be free education against the reintroduction of fees. I was one of few people who started the free education for everyone campaign group back in September. As a group of limited resources we’ve done so much and with 23,000 students behind me there’s a lot

Would you have any criticisms of the outgoing President? Yes. I know I talk about fees a lot but it’s an issue I feel strongly about because I’m so against the commercialisation and privatisation of education. In times of a recession what we need to do is make sure that students are guar-

UCDSU President is considered d of student positions within the ous presidents include: Paul Dilgal Scully (04/05) James Carroll den (06/07) Barry Colfer (07/08) éa (08/09). Many of the previwere Sabbatical officers prior to James Carroll, Dan Hayden and ere as Paul Dillon and Feargal e issues of the day such as fees.

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more I could do to battle this reintroduction. There’s a situation now on campus where the president is willing to spend €120,000 to light up the water tower at the lake and €200,000 on gates for res. Somehow the college is gates for res. Somehow the college is in a deficit and Brady finds funding for the new student centre. I believe the new centre will be a good facility forstudents but people’s academic, social and personal lives should be priority.

Manifesto: I am really against the reintroduction of fees in any guise. Other issues like the Student Support Bill and taskforce for accommodation, and no scaling down in services from health across the spectrum for students. I also want to introduce a 24-hour study room. I’m also looking for freezing of campus accommodation charges.

What criticisms do you have for this year’s President Aodhán O Deá? He did a good job of putting the union out there. We all work as a team which is the most important thing this year. But when Aodhan went into the job he had never held a position like that, and he wasn’t as effective as he had a steep learning curve. I could start working right away without that steep curve. Only 40% of students can name their president, our survey has found. Every student should know his or her president. That figure should be 100%. I’d look at things like postering and addressing students straight to their face. What traits have you got

anteed a free education,that there are no barriers to anyone, and I think Aodhán could have done so much more to mobilise and empower the student body and raise awareness about this threat. Do you have any specific criticisms of the other candidates? My main criticism would be of Gary Redmond. He says he’s done so much as Ents officer but I don’t see at all how he’s be fully qualified to run for union president. I don’t think that bringing The Blizzards and The Wolfe Tones to the UCD bar two times a year would qualify you. In his year as a sabbatical officer he only put one motion to council which was to go ahead with Miss UCD. I will fight UCD to the bitter end next year if there’s a motion in council to have Miss UCD because that other candidates do not? I’m the only candidate who has been involved in every USI campaign over the last few years. A few other candidates who have only come in this year would not have this kind of experience. Do you think you have an unfair advantage over other candidates? I feel it should be viewed as a wealth of experience. Is it true you used your ENTs list against election rules to canvas students? Yes. But one thing i would say is that many of people on the list are personal friends. Would you publish the

girls on campus have enough problems with their image and that’s only something which will make the problems worse. I don’t see how bringing a few bands to the student bar, passing students but people’s academic, one motion that will only further sexism and lessen girls’ images on campus makes him in any way apt to be president of the union. Donal Hanratty is a lovely guy. I saw his Facebook campaign pageand his three points being opposed to fees, spreading the Irish culture, heritage and language. While I think that’s great, the fact remains that as president of the union there are far more important issues that have to be dealt with. I personally think he should’ve stuck to Irish Language officer because he was very good at it. I don’t really have that many criticisms about Chris

Bond apart from an academic perspective, taking 5 or 6 years to complete an Arts Degree, that’s something noteworthy. Why should you be elected? I love talking to people. I’m also very determined about the things that I deem necessary.

SU Budget All students have a right to know where their money is going. I would definitely publish the budget. Why do you want to be president? I’ve been considering president for a few years, but ran for VP first as it would be in favour for me to spend the first few weeks making contacts and not being able to do it straight away. I have no intention of entering a career in politics. Should SU Officers be payed? I would install a pay freeze for all candidates as soon as I am aware. The tradition of giving officers pay raises must stop; negative inflation in fact

would mean quite the opposite. I’m not there to make a profit. What team would you work best with? That is entirely up to the electorate, I would work best with the union I have for the sake of the students. Next year will be a pivotal year, and I hope to place a strong union there



College Tribune | 3rd March 2009

Election News

Campaigns & Communications I am the founder of the UCD security campaign. I want to overhead Pulse Security and the ‘gates issue’, and create a better atmosphere all round.

Manifesto? Campaign against fees, campaign against the Gates issue, revamp Pulse security, advertise the Students’ Union more.

Have you any criticisms of last year’s officer? I don’t think he advertised the union enough. His idea to produce three student handbooks is excessive. In a recent survey only 13% of people know who Dan O’Neill is, what do you think of this?

That’s an absolute joke. Poster campaigns are important. People feel the union is unapproachable. First port of call for students is the class rep. The class rep is key to this. Every class should have a class rep. If a class doesn’t have a class rep it must be investigated. They need a face. UCDSU can’t be this faceless union.

class rep training! Class rep training was a joke. Some students went absolutely wild and whilst we were given constructive training, the party atmosphere was too much.

What will you do if fees are introduced? I will fight to the death that they wont. I am prepared to do anything I can. I will call for direct action. Civil disobedience. I am talking about sit-ins Do you think there and a one-day shut down has been an exorbitant amount of waste? of the college. What traits make you Exorbitant? €20 000 on

What else other than fees is a big issue for you? Security. I have a big paragraph on security.

Manifesto? Engage more with the UCDSU website, improve communication with students, a council report aired on Belfield FM, make the SU more transparent, fight fees, Improve Pulse Security behaviour. Communications is a big priority for you but

in regards to campaigns what do you plan to do? The biggest thing I am pissed off about is university cutbacks. Fair enough they have to make them but they are threatening to cut back library opening hours and student medical hours. I will campaign to make sure they are maintained as the two most important services. Have you any criticisms of last year’s officer? He could have been involved in other campaigns, such as increasing transparency in the union. Also, he

could have made the people realise the SU are there for them. In a recent survey only 13% of people know who Dan O’Neill is, what do you think of this? He is officer for Campaigns & Communications. He needs to communicate more with the students. I do not plan in sitting in an office. I am going to get out there and meet the students

dents should know exactly how much is spent and on what. I want a full detailed published account for the students to see. What traits make you more suitable than the other candidate? I have alot of experience in the SU. I am a very determined person. I am a good communicator. I will sit down with people and discuss things.

Do you think there has been an exorbitant amount of waste? I don’t know how much money is being spent. Stu-

What are the faults of your opponent that make him less suitable? He doesn’t communicate enough with authorities. He

more suitable than the other candidate? I am tenacious and a great campaigner. I won’t stand down. Which Presidential Candidate would you work best with? Julian or Chris. Who would you not work well with? Gary. Do you think that student union officers should be paid? Yes, because they go above and beyond the call of duty. On average our sabbatical officers are paid below par than any other college. If Hugh Brady is prepared to take a pay cut I am prepared to

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is also a bit narrow sighted as he is too focused on the campaigns side. He has to focus on communications more. He needs to be more diplomatic. Which Presidential Candidate will you work best with? Gary. Who not work well with? Julian Do you think that SU officers should be paid? Yes, but they get paid too much. I think €300 would be loads for them and I think they could survive on less. The first thing I intend to do is ask all officers to take a pay cut this year

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College Tribune | 3rd March 2009






e to

Manifesto Everything in my manifesto is achievable. My main priorities are mental health, sexual health and cutbacks. For our age group, 18-24 year olds, mental health is so important. Students need to know that talking is sign of strength not weakness. Currently there’s a 13.5% reduction in funding for

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Manifesto One A4 page is not enough. This is only 50% of some of the things want to do. It draws your attention to 6 main issues. Disabilities, health and finance, things like that. I’m the current disability rights officer for the SU. I feel that sometimes

essential welfare services. I’m going to make sure, if I get in, that they won’t be affected any further and the same with sexual health. I want to promote SHAG week, promote better sexual health year round, more free condoms, more information on safer sex more importantly and that links in with the STI screening service which has also been affected by welfare cuts in general.

management and I’d be working closely with the student counselling service in providing lunchtime talks on various issues about mental health and promoting awareness on the different issues, depression, suicide, selfharm, body image, etc., I’ve been working on the corridor all year as accommodation and employment officer so I do know the people, I can hit the ground running.

services that are provided for students so people know where to go. Our survey has shown the majority of students do not know who their Welfare officer is. Is there anything you would do to combat that?

students with disabilities or who are in wheelchairs are not being treated fairly now these res gates have been implemented. I want to make sure that students with disabilities are treated equally with everyone else. Learning disabilities, I’m a student with a learning disability myself, I want to make sure that all students with a learning disability are given equal, fair treatment.

informed about disability rights. I’ve learned so much about the needs of students with disabilities and learning disabilities, being one myself, I now know the support services, the adequate funding that the support services need more of. Last year I didn’t know that the Welfare Officer sits on the Health Promotions Board which is something I want to go along to.

with, he’s never said no to me. Yes we’ve disagreed but we work together, we’re professional and I’ve enjoyed my time with him.

This is your second year running. Do you feel you have qualities now that you didn’t have last year that make you a more suitable candidate?

Do you have any criticisms of this year’s Welfare Officer Conor Fingleton?

I definitely know that in the DCU SU they go around to every class and introduce themselves and I think that’s something that’s been lost this year and that’s something I’d definitely do. Even going around res and knocking on doors and introducing myself would be very effective.

It is unfortunate that people don’t know who their sabbatical officers are and it’s something that, if elected, I’d strike a balance between being in my office and Do you have a plan on Would you have any having information posthow you’re going to im- criticisms of Conor, the ers with my details, how to plement these things? outgoing Welfare Ofget in contact. Also on the Definitely. If elected, I’ll ficer? union website I plan to have be sitting on the GovernNot really. I’ve worked quite the welfare section fully ing Authority, to make sure closely with him on various up do date with everything funding is ring fenced, that different things. I do think you need, assistant funds, they don’t divert money he’s very strong when it welfare funds, how you apfrom these essential welfare comes to his personal work. ply for them, along with a services away to other less One thing I would do, if breakdown of how to fill in important things. I’d sit on elected, would be to push each form. the health centre board of for more publicity on the

Last year when I ran I feel it was on the success of the L&H and as programme officer it was more about education, I wasn’t fully

I can only really speak from my own personal view and being Disability Rights Officer for the SU has allowed me to work with Conor and he’s been a friend to me. Anything I’ve needed help

We did a survey recently that showed on the majority of student cannot name their Welfare Officer. Is there any strategy you would take on board to increase visibility to remedy that?

Why should people vote for you? I hope people will vote for me because I have a sympathetic ear, any difficulty they’re facing they should feel I’m approachable, they can come to me at any stage. I have the experience to guide them in any way necessary.

Would you have any criticisms of the other candidate, Danielle? I’m here to show what I’ve done as Disability Rights Officer and Programme Officer. I believe it’s not for a Welfare Officer to look negatively on someone else. It’s for me to show what I can give in a positive light. Why should people vote for you? I’m a candidate who’s been involved in the union, that has proven results, I’ve been effective on committees, I’ve achieved things, I’ve given things to students with disabilities.



College Tribune | 3rd March 2009

Election News


James Morrisey Details of Manifesto A I want value for students. I have been working with nightclubs and promoters for the last few years and have built up the contacts. I will provide a free student night once a week, free admission, no cover charge and the most competitive drinks promotions. I also want to provide buses to and from the venues for students. The next point is to bring bigger acts to the student bar.

Manifesto I’ve been campaigns manager for the last three months so I’ve written manifestos before. This was the first time I’ve written my own one. A lot of it was based on my experiences. I was coproducer of the fashion show last year, I was auditor for Q Soc in the past, accommodation and employment officer, business programme officer, student union class rep, Ents crew for the last three years. I was in charge of Comedy this year, MC in the bar.

Have you any criticisms for the current Ents Officer, Gary Redmond? There are a few things I would do differently. He followed Steve Quinlivan’s template maybe a little too tightly. The whole Thursday night live and Tribute Night Tuesdays, you kind of need to jazz things up a little. While the commercial acts like East Seventeen, JLS and the Coronas are fine to have in the Student Bar, you need to have something different for the people on the fringes.

Have you any plans to boost ticket sales? Yes, with the website. If people feel they are more involved in the event it will go better. Especially harnessing new talent in UCD. We have broken a few comedians in our time. Dram Soc do huge work and break the odd actor now and again. I think the students union should be looking to help them with that. At the end of the day, it’s about picking the dates properly and getting big acts at the time they will sell.

I want to try to put an ice cream truck beside the lake for summer exams too.

the Mystery Tour. I want to include NUI Galway, to have 1,000 students from each university in Dublin and Galway meet in some mystery location in between. Also I want to organise music seminars next year for the untapped talent in UCD. I also want to bring the circus to campus in semester two. I’ve been talking to two circus companies about it at the moment and they’ve approached the college about it.

Q What makes you a better candidate than the others?


A I’ve been involved in an awful lot of nightclub events. I have promoted some of the biggest student nights that most people have been to since. Currently I am promoting Wednesdays in Burn. Beside this, I’d do my job next year as Ents officer for nothing. I am willing to do it for free and not cost the students fifteen grand.

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as possible. Also, what I want to do next semester is bring in a weekly calendar that connects with societies to let the students know what’s going on every week.

more feasible at the moment and the only thing the President of UCD would allow.

Q Any criticisms of the Ents Officer, Gary Redmond? A I think Gary has done a good job, he’s organised but he’s mostly carried on the torch of what Steve has done. He hasn’t changed much. Q How do you plan to differ from it then?

Would you be willing to take a pay cut? A I think it has to be kept in line with what the rest of the college is doing. Within all the members of USI we wouldn’t be the highest paid. The wage is about three ninety or four hundred a week for a SU officer.

A In many ways, for example

Manifesto A I want to bring in new acts and make Ents for everybody. I’m keeping some big things like Rag Week and the Mystery Tour. These were lacking this year. I have few new ideas like Ents loyalty card. It has been done in British universities before and is a recession buster, go to three Ents events get the fourth one free. It’s a chance for the students to get something back off Ents and to go to as many events

Have you any criticisms for the current Ents Officer, Gary Redmond? I think he was a great team with Steve the year before but could have moved on a bit more, brought a few new bands. Have you any plans to boost ticket sales?

What are your plans for the UCD Ball? Well after last year, Steve has made UCD Ball an institution. I think it’s going to be the biggest event every year from now on. I don’t think it will happen on Merville pitches. I think the Quinn car Realistically we are going to park and the Student Bar are have to promote a lot more.

There is a lot of wastage with posters and fliers. I think the text messages gets through to students on the day. I think a lot of free nights in the bar with incentives like free bus to nightclubs after would be good. What traits make you the best candidate? I think it’s time for a fresh face, a change in Ents. I’m approachable, enthusiastic and not afraid of trying new things. I’m not going to copy

College Tribune | 3rd March 2009



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Donnacha O’Suilleabhain His Manifesto: I spent the last year working in the USI and the UCDSU so I have a real grasp of the fees issue both on a national and local level. On a local level we could also work on registration fee as that’s a college decided issue. What’s important to me is that there’s a good standard of degree coming out of UCD. What criticisms do you have for last year’s candidate?

Manifesto: I’m passionate about the abolition of any talk of fees. Library cuts are the next thing; cutting funding from the library which is such an essential tool to students isn’t really acceptable. Also, the hackdom in the union is really something I don’t like. I want to introduce a stage X co-ordinator which would be a member of staff in each faculty trained to help students who fail; emailing them directly and telling them what their options are

or just offering to be there if a chat is needed.

He could probably publicise himself a bit more. I don’t think there’s been much publicity from the education office.

What traits make you more suitable than the other candidates? I’m very approachable and I’m extremely experienced and always level headed. I don’t sweat the small stuff; I’m well practiced in what I do and think that I’m relatively eloquent and can express my points. A fault of my own is that I’m very bad at leaving the office; I’m happy to stay in late.

Our survey shows an increasing apathy towards the Students’ Union. How do you plan to remedy this? I think it’s a result of the lack of publicity; you have to make sure that people know what you achieve as a Students’ Union.

BenManifesto: I am a member of Free Education for Everyone and I think on so many levels the SU has failed. There should have been a massive awareness campaign at the start of the year to let people know there was a definite chance fees were coming back. Secondly, the major point is cutbacks; the library has been threatened so many times this year, hours reduced and fines. How do you plan to make these details

What criticisms do you have for the Education Officer, Paul Lynam? I understand there has to be certain level of negotiation with the Governing Authorities on campus and there has to be a certain level of knowledge of what will get the best deal for students. I’m not sure however if Paul has had the backing of students when he does it. One or two motions that he’s made have

resulted in an outcry at council. He understood the aspect of what would happen at the Governing Authority and yet students were still saying they didn’t want this. Is there and exorbitant waste of money in the SU? Things like Class Rep training could do with a review. I went, and really enjoyed it, but instead of what was like the lap of luxury living four to a house, we could have bunked it up in hostels.

There should be a review of spending. Should SU officers be paid? I think anyone running now would be a bit stupid not to take a pay cut considering the economic climate. No one needs 400 euro a week.

Probably Gary Redmond; I’ve worked with him already and I know him as a nice guy whose extremely good at his job. I have faith in him and have seen him at national council and believe in him. Should SU officers be paid?

I do think they should be paid; I’ve worked in 2 part What president would time positions and feel I you work best with? could have done a better job work? The fees is simple, we need a mass mobilistation of students; I would get awareness out there and get people involved in the union and hold months of meetings around the campuses and let them know seriously that this will affect them. What criticisms do you have for Paul Lynam? Paul has done a lot on the ground but we all knew the major issue this year would be fees. As education officer

he should have brought in a greater campaign ad put more stress on it. He did campaign last year to allow students to see the exam timetable before they chose their modules and I didn’t hear anything of it since. If fees were wiped off the agenda, what will your main focus be? A long time thorn in my side is the campus bookshop. Prices are ridiculous; I’ve seen some books which are a 15% percent markup of the

high street value not even the wholesale value. Students aren’t made of money. I would also encourage a boycott campaign of the campus bookshop to show them that we are serious about them dropping their prices. I would make sure students know what the council is planning to pass and all possible expenditure. What president would you work best with? Julian Brophy as he is also in FEE.



College Tribune | 3rd March 2009

Regs News

What ever happened to?

by Stephen West

Part time jobs Feckin Skint. Smashed. Broke. Words to describe our collective penury as students weirdly resemble the aftermath of a good night outor in. We used to say this as an automatic response to beggars, borrowers and mostly best friends so they would politely stop feckin’ asking for a loan. Now we haven’t two Euros to rub between our thumb and forefingers. Part time hours are scarce as hens teeth and the once posh student is now just up from homeless people in the pov ladder of society. And who is to blame? The government? The poles? Or that fat sweaty shift manager who didn’t put you on the roster for the tenth week running. I blame them all. I loved that little earner.

Random Review -


A strange whiff of nostalgia (and the faint smell of money) comes to mind when one thinks of donning the black tie and shirt of the bar man and avoiding eye contact with regulars and angry gee-eyed oulfells as they jostle to get your attention. Then there was the free food on your half hour break. Ah throw it in the microwave for a minute and a half and lash the gravy over it and you can almost imagine it’s not rubbery beef that was sent back by some snot nose pensioner with decrepit dentures. And then there was the cultural enrichment of being one of two Irish not in management working in the Hotel. Kuvrai as-nos or something is what one learns

to mumble under your breath when a pint is sent back or some tight-arse won’t tip on a hundred euro bill. And being the only Irish, and the only one with a hint of a smile you get the lion’s share of tips, but the bloody Germans still only leave their customary fifty-cent. The polish scowl miraculously changes to a smirk when they get out for a smoke and a chin wag together. In their loathing of the fat manager they are United and when they beat us in the football in Croke Park they were smug as feck. As students we are on the same wavelength as the Polish and other immigrants still here; we’re both over educated and underplayed.

Some of you might laugh at this suggestion. But all jokes aside no anti-war film has ever conveyed to its audience the pure necessity of war. The film deals with the serious issue of one man’s struggle to settle back into society. But as he returns he realizes there is no place for him. His best friend has died and he is alone. Stallone deals so insightfully with such a tender issue, especially at the time this film was written. In order to complement this serious theme he sets an excellent action, which would inspire a generation of action movie filmmakers. Whilst it is easy to sneer at this movie from the comfort of your art-house, the joke is on you. To have a perceived opinion of this film as a film that doesn’t tackle the big questions in life is a serious failure of judgement. A trait that

We both have the same haggard look of hard labour in the face of adverse public. Let’s face it anyone that works a forty-hour dead end job hates us. We get to hang around drinking for days on end in attractive groups, in cafes, bars, music festivals and other hemispheres. So even if you, like me are thinking of begging for that old job you quit in a call centre two summers years ago, fear not, if the Polish can survive the recession so can us hardy posh students.

is inherent of film studies students. The type of people who think Citizen Cane is actually good. If Citizen Cane is a masterpiece well this is pure genius. You cannot compare Welles protagonist who feels sorry for himself because he is filthy rich, with Stallone’s Rambo, who is trying hard to not break down into self-pity. No, with Stallone he has the acting influence to truly impact the emotion of the audience. He gets so absorbed in it, that you are completely attached to John Rambo. Every pain he feels you feel. Every victory he has you have. But still the complex undertones of the film are so well disguised that they do not become apparent until several viewings of the movie. This marriage of the emotional with the intellectual is a fine balancing act that very few directors succeed in

pulling off. Those who have not considered this film - give it the seriousness it deserves. No film has ever really truly captured what the effects of war haveon a man, but this comes damn close. Rambo preceded the whole antiVietnam war genre, and





certainly stands up there as one of the best. I hopethis review will challenge you to open your mind in seeing Rambo in a new way.







The Manifesto that never was... Helga Muckman’s top priorities: * The re-introduction of full fees in order to clear the trash out of UCD * Demand the compulsory wearing of Abercrombie while on campus. * Demand installment of ‘juicy tubes’ lip-gloss vendors’ throughout campus. * Expand the free STI screening centre in UCD. * Legalisation of narcotics and any mind altering substance on campus. Fees. For too long our college has had to suffer the terror of the knack. Oh my God education must be privatised like if we are to combat this issue. I mean, like, have you seen those people who come up from the bogs? Yeah, they just materialize out of the bog. Helga believes that if your daddy isn’t rich enough to send you to college then you should just stay working in the chipper! Abercrombie


OK, like seriously, if you want to go all ‘individual’ with your fashion sense just hang out with all the other Emos and weirdos in Stephens Green. Like I believe

that you need to fit into UCD and I for one feel ill when I see those girls in their Penney’s clothes. And by the way those fake Uggs aren’t fooling anyone! And guys like what the hell is with that farmer look? Have you never heard of Canterbury Tracks? Juicy tubes. Oh my God!! It’s an essential of life. I believe if we are ever to tackle the issues in UCD we need to look good and a girl can never look good without this accessory. STI screening. As a girl who has experience of that terrible little itch I feel that free STI screening is an essential. I mean apparently UCD is a hotbed of STI’s although I really don’t know who’s doing all those mingers I’ve seen in arts. Have you seen the people in Merville? Muck savage central at Centra. Oh, and if that guy from XXI is reading this, em, you need to go get checked out for the clap. STI’s are something I’m passionate about I mean they’re serious, like serious as syphilis. You know like?

Drugs. Ok look lets face it we’ve all done them even the staff. Allegedly Richard Bottler was seen sniffing coke off a toilet seat in coppers last week. So like lets just legalise it. I intend to have all SU shops stocked with the best shit this side of the Danube, Gary Redmond said he’d put me on to a good dealer so we’re set. Helga’s motto is: ‘don’t vote for any old cock, vote for a Hancock!’ Helga is a committed UCD socialite, enjoying, shopping, cinema, nights out and has an active sex life. She is well known around the campus and campaigns tirelessly on many issues. She studies Business and considers herself a proper Quinn girl.

Helga is currently running a RON campaign in order to get nominated.

College Tribune | 3rd March 2009

Election News

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College Tribune | 3rd March 2009

Election Sport

University Talent Discovered Fergus Slattery on the 1971 victorious tour to New Zealand. by Ben McCormack With another Ireland win at the weekend it seems high time to recognize the players UCD has produced over the past, both recent and far. While the exploits of Brian O’Driscoll, Rob Kearney and Paddy Wallace have whetted our appetites for the game, what of the old greats? UCD’s first international cap came in 1920 with Alan Courtney lining up in the green jersey, winning three caps before his tenure was up. But it wasn’t until a teenage star hit that UCD became a known feeder for the international set up. In the 1933/34 championships, some 70 years before O’Driscoll, Aidan Bailey was a flying centre from Presentation College Bray. In the Four Nations Championship of that season he proved it was possible to win things with kids as the men in green lifted the championship. This was to lead to better pursuits, as in 1963 Jimmy Kelly became the first member of a UCD panel to captain Ireland. The 1960s and ‘70s proved fruitful for the club as more notice was taken of the wily backs and determined forwards. The Lions looked to the College for a fair share of talent with two players on the ‘66, ‘68, and ‘74 squads, with only

It was a former student that gave Ireland their greatest chance of beating the All Blacks in their tour of 1973. Tom Grace on the wing ran in a solo effort to draw Ireland level with the tourists 10-10 with the conversion to come. Sadly the kick was put astray and that elusive win continued. It is hard to argue who is the most famous graduate of the pre-professional game. Fergus Slattery became one of the longest serving men for Ireland with 61 caps, 18 as captain. He also led Ireland to their first Triple Crown in 1982, a first in over 30 years. Scoring a total of 3 tries the flanker was accepted into the IRB Hall of Fame in 2007. However, the man who might be regarded as a better alma mater than Slattery is not a player but a coach. Mick Doyle was a player with UCD in the late 1960s and early 70s, as well as an international and Lion. But in 1984 he took over the coaching role from the highly successful and great Willie John McBride. With a great team emerging and after the Triple Crown win three years previous some were cautious about throwing in an ill experienced coach immediately into a championship. 1985 was the last time Ireland won the championship and the

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Triple Crown, denied a Grand Slam by France (again), drawing 15-15 in Dublin. Mick Doyle then led the 1987 team to the inaugural World Cup in New Zealand and Australia, but suffered a heart attack on the night of the opening dinner, consequently retiring his position as coach. For UCD the 1990s stayed quiet, a process was forming. Throughout it Ireland struggled, occasionally upsetting but never challenging. On the lower ages of the international scene, the U19s won their World Championships and gained notoriety as a team to watch. It didn’t take long for one player. In 2000, Brian O’Driscoll ran out for his first Six Nations Championship. The Irish were beaten by the biggest score they have ever received 50-18 against England. It seemed a non-starting tournament. However, a game against France in Paris allowed O’Driscoll to showcase his talent, scoring a hat-trick of tries to send Ireland home 25-27 winners. Since that time O’Driscoll has gone from strength to strength, gaining the captaincy from Keith Wood in 2003 and becoming the most capped captain of all time. He is also holds records for the most tries scored in the Six Nations and by and

Down the Line Irish player. He has linked up well over the years with other graduates such as Denis Hickie, who retired in 2007, Paddy Wallace and Gordon D’Arcy. But history tends to repeat itself, and this time very quickly. The new stock of exciting players is already being revealed and once again UCD is at the heart of it. Luke Fitzgerald recently got his first international try against Italy, as well as proving to be an explosive runner. Rob Kearney is being recognised perhaps as the next focal point of this team, such as O’Driscoll was with the last half of a generation. Whatever happens in the future, UCD’s history has been rich and looks on gaining in glory. With an undefeated run now stretching into three games of this Championship and a Lions tour to come, anything is possible.

Drop into us at Bank of Ireland Montrose Student Store (opposite the UCD flyover) or call 01 2611320

Terms and conditions apply to the USA and Canada flight offer (excluding taxes and charges). To qualify for the USA and Canadian flight voucher applicants must have opened or upgraded their 3rd level student account between the 4th of August 2008 and the 30th of November 2008. Applicants must also use their 3rd level account 10 times each month (including one online top up per month) between 1st November 2008 and 31st January 2009. Applicants must be in first year college. This offer is available until stocks last (5,000 flights available). Bank of Ireland does not accept responsibility for availability or services provided by promoter WIN WIN Ltd. Terms and conditions apply to all 3rd level student current accounts. Applicants must be over 18 years of age. Bank of Ireland is regulated by the Financial Regulator.



College Tribune | 3rd March 2009

Election News Sport

The Claret Jug is Half Full Dr. Bob Rotella, sports psychologist to Padraig Harrington speaks to Jordan Daly about his life long passion for coaching, making a career out of pure optimism and having a few beers after winning the Open “I’m in Tuscon Arizona at the moment with Padraig. We spent a lot of time working together yesterday, and had dinner last night.” It’s ten in the morning local time and Bob Rotella is already out on the driving range, himself a scratch golfer. Crowned Sportsperson of the year for the third year running, Harrington has had Bob Rotella at his side for his two Open Championship wins the last two years and his Masters win. “Yeah that was pretty good”, chuckles Rotella. “I’ve enjoyed working with him, last year was the culmination of some really good stuff and putting it all together. It’s been a lot of fun. He’s on a mission and he has got a lot ahead of him.” The pinnacle of each of their careers to date, that crucial moment, came in the playoff with Sergio Garcia in 2007 in the British Open Championship at Carnoustie. “I high fived him after he said it because it was like I didn’t need to say anything more. He had said what I wanted to hear and I knew he was ready. And he basically said the same thing on the Saturday of last years British Open. I think the PGA (Masters) was a little different, his game probably wasn’t where he wanted it to be, then on Sunday it sort of fell into place. He was ready to take it and run with it.” One of the chapter’s in Rotella’s book, Golf is Not a Game of Perfect is titled, ”Train it trust it”. According to the sports sage, you must think of shooting your best possible score with the swing you brought that day. “That’s a lot of what he’s been learning to do is get the ball in the hole. It’s amazing some of the time you win these things playing the way you want; sometimes you hit the ball all over the place and get it in the hole. A lot of it comes down to what you do

with your wedge and putter. A partnership of great success, Harrington got reading Rotella’s books and got in contact with the American a few years ago. “He just called me up and asked if he could call over and spend a couple of days with me. “He’s come over here to my home, I’ve been over to his home. We see each other every couple of days and talk on the phone in between. It’s been a wonderful time. He’s a great guy. He’s got a lot of desire and a lot of confidence.” After the big wins the two carry a good working relationship off the course and into the bar. “Well we certainly went for a beer after the Claret Jug, last night we went for a nice meal, but we were on the diet coke”, laughs Rotella. “We definitely have one after we win, that’s for sure.” Rotella can’t afford to be pessimistic, having built a career on instilling confidence. “I think a lot of what it’s about is pure optimism. It’s about finding the good bits of what happens every day instead of the negative, because everyday something good and bad is happening and you can dwell on the good or the bad. You can think about great stuff happening in your future, or you can worry about bad stuff happening. Of course I’ve spent my whole life talking to people about it which makes it very easy to keep your head there.” He has a tough market in Golf books but when a name of another possible rival sports psychologist, Greg Steinberg is mentioned he shrugs it off being a no nonsense guy, ”Never heard of him. Here’s the whole point, to me it’s all about your players winning and being successful. All I know is my players are winning and becoming great. All I care about is my players wining and doing great and I don’t pay a whole lot of attention to anything else.” He keeps a low profile despite being the best in the world in his field. “I really think it’s just about helping

athletes. I don’t do much to promote myself. I’m in the business of helping players become great, that’s the fun. That’s what I get a

kick out of. Every once in a while someone asks me why? Ever since I was young my dreams have always been of being a great coach.” Now approaching age sixty, Rotella was born and raised in Rutland, Vt., the son of a barber. He received a Ph.D. in sports psychology from the University of Connecticut. Rotella became head of the sports psychology department at the University of Virginia in 1976. His first client was Zimbabwean golfer Denis Watson, who went on to tie for the most wins on the PGA Tour in 1984. He never had to market himself. After this Golf Digest’s Sam Sneed gave him his break with a presentation opportunity and it all took off from there. “Sam Sneed was a great guy. He was influential but only in that when Sam Sneed told a group of well known teachers and players that he really loved everything I was talking about, that he would

have won a lot more majors if he had me around. “It’s a matter of who is going to

believe they can do it and that’s really what Padraig Harrington has achieved. He has gotten to a point where he can see himself winning.” The golf guru is a role model for any budding psychologist with an eye for the game and he found inspiration close to home. “I had a cousin who was a great coach. I really emulated him. He from a very early age taught me about the role of attitude and confidence. He had a great influence on me. He was a football coach. Sal Somma was his name.” With such a variety of clients like Seal and John Rzeznik of the Goo Goo Dolls it seems his theories are more about plain confidence. “We’re all kind of the same. It’s can you get past the doubt, can you get past the fear and all it takes is a little bit of doubt, you go on stage and you’re afraid people are going to boo you or you sit down and

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College Tribune | 3rd March 2009

you’ve given away your ten best songs and don’t have anymore in you, all of a sudden nothing comes out of you. It’s the same as a golfer standing over a golf shot and all they are seeing is a bad shot. It’s amazing how it affects your swing. “A lot of it is getting this clear, clear picture in your head. You can have the most technically perfect swing in the world but if you don’t trust it and won’t believe in it, it won’t work for the most important shots of your life.” This theory on a clear mind spring to memory the great film Happy Gilmore’s and his ‘Happy Place’. “I remember seeing it a long time ago, laughs Rotella, You’d certainly say when Padraig is playing his best golf and he’s thinking, he’s got a happy place on his mind. I’m not suggesting he’s thinking of the same stuff as Adam Sandler, but yeah, there’s no question when your mind is in the right place, you’re smiling, you’re happy on the inside. With Padraig you can see it on his face, he’s smiling, even if he misses a shot because he knows he’s going to go get it in the hole.” Dr.Rotella’s books enjoy huge success and the story goes that Davis Love Jr urged him originally to put his theories and tips into a sort of golfer’s help manual. His titles include Golf is a Game of Confidence, Golf is not a Game of Perfect, Putting out of your mind, Putting Like a Genius, The Golfer’s Mind: Play to Play Great, Golf Of Your Dreams and his latest publication, Your Fifteenth Club: The Inner Secret To Great Golf. “The Fifteenth Club is for players who really want to get good, and who want to play tournament golf, they love that book. This is really book for people who want to see how good they can get and play competitively.” Rotella waves away such skepticism; “I don’t care. All I care about is the people I work with and as long as they believe in what we’re doing and believe in themselves and believe that their mind plays a role. I don’t spend a minute thinking about people who think it’s useless or a bunch of junk. I think anybody who plays competitively knows that their mind is either helping them or hurting them.” And with a hundred or so professional clients winning twenty-four majors between them he has no reason for doubt. With Harrington failing to make the cut in his last two tournaments and a disappointing first round defeat to Pat Perez at the weekend in Arizona he now more than ever needs his mind doctor. “Talking to him yesterday, he probably did a little too much work on the technical side of the game over the winter and got a little bit too into his golf swing. But he knows what he has to do and that it has got a little away from him.” While Harrington is keeping a low profileat

Election Sport

the moment another Irish star is rising; Rory mcilrath. At the weekend in the World Golf Championships-Accenture Match Play Championship in Marana he overcame the Tigerslayer, Tim Clark, in Friday’s third round by a 4-and-3 margin. Perhaps he is the one to watch this time around.

Westys Superleague “Well played ref’, shite again.” An interview with a superleaguer by Stephen West Following another (a)rousing defeat I felt it prudent to try and interview a member of a team which wallows at the shite end of the table, just above girls (who are, of course, not allowed in the Superleague) and well below the marginally talented. This is the voice of every nonleague footballer, every rugby footed “legend” and every footballer who ended up on a shit team. It’s harrowing, I know. Gentle- up stuck with the team I’m with now. men, meet “Sam” Westy- What were your initial plans for the Superleague? Sam- I was hoping to set up a team with my friends, win a few games and a have a laugh. West- But that didn’t happen, did it? Sam- No, not at all. All my mates bailed on me after I signed us up, they all left me 50 euro short. I ended

Westy- Shhh sh sh, no need to cry. Why are you so upset about it? Sam- They are just awful, the captain’s a joke, he doesn’t have a clue. I’m convinced half of them have never played before. Sometimes it hurts to play. Every week its six or seven nil. I’m in the trenches out there. Westy- It can’t just be the team?

Sam- It’s the ref’s too. I think I’ve had them all now. Five I think. Only two are any use, the tall guy with the cap he’s good. The other one wears sweaters and has floppy hair he’s sound, the rest <shudders>. There are two that are identical, both short and wea about thirty to forty layers of rain coats. They are dreadful they have the ol’ cement boots on, how can someone call off side when they are rooted to the centre circle? The last one’s this little knacker that thinks he’s the dogs danglers. He lopes around the pitch in a shell tracksuit, whistle clasped between his lips. He thinks he’s Clint fu****g Eastwood or some shit. Sam refused to make any further comment. This is the end of this sorry experiment. There will be no more. Stephen West.



Sporting Mind Exclusive Interview With Sports Psychologist to the Stars: Dr Bob Rotella Page 22-23

Issue 9 | Volume 22 | 3rd March 2009

Sigerson Defeat to Dublin Rivals Colman Hanley UCD were knocked out of the Sigerson cup at the semi-final stage by neighbours DIT in Cork last Friday. Having overcome University Limerick and Garda so impressively in the previous rounds, it ended up being a bitterly disapointing exit for this talented group of UCD players as they failed to match their previous performances. Approaching the game, both sides had selection issues due to a combination of injury problems. On top of this, pressure was placed on any Kilmacud Crokes players to withdraw from any involvement in the game due to their upcoming involvement in the Club Championship final vs Crossmaglen Rangers on March 17th. Indeed, only days before the game, GAA officer Dave Billings was still unaware of who was and wasn’t available for selection, only saying “We’ll pick from who we have on the bus heading down to Cork and take it from there.” So when the ball was thrown-in last Friday, DIT were forced to cope without Dublin Senior star Mark Vaughan while the college were without the Kilmacud duo of Cian O’Sullivan and Ross O’Carroll. However despite being a Crokes player, UCD were boosted with Barry O’Rourkes availability, while captain John O’Loughlin also recovered from a back injury to start. Elsewhere, for-

ward Mark McGowan was fit enough to make the bench. After such drama and controversy off the field, UCD still managed to make a competitive start to the game as they trailed 0-2 to 0-1 after 14 minutes, O’Rourke getting the university off the mark. However from there on in, DIT displayed their true colours and dominated proceedings with a scoring spree to end the half. Firstly, the impressive Paul Flynn notched a point while that was followed up by the first goal of the day, a Paul Brogan penalty. Donncha Reilly fired over another point to add to DIT’s tally, but Mayo man Mark Ronaldson got UCD’s second score of the game to make it 1-4 to 0-2 at half-time. With UCD trailing by 5 at the break, they needed a quick start to the second half to have any chance of turning things around. Mark McGowan came on for

Tiarnan Diamond in an attempt to turn things around, but still, DIT came out of the blocks faster. It was the impressive Flynn who broke hearts with an early second half goal in the 36th minute. Coupled with points from Martin Reilly and Kevin McManamon, UCD had a huge deficit to overcome. But credit must be given to this UCD team due to the collective spirit and fight shown. Ronaldson showed his class again by adding 2 points and if Paul Kellys goal bound shot had not have been well saved by DIT keeper Sommerville, an unlikely comeback could’ve been on the cards. Alas, it was DIT who got the crucial next goal. After gathering a high-ball himself initially, McManamon strode forward to send the ball past Gallagher in the UCD goal to put DIT out of sight and make it 3-6 to 0-4 in the 48th minute. Mark McGowan managed to raise the green flag for UCD soon after with a fine finish into the top corner to reduce the margin to 8 points. But it proved to be the only real time DIT’s defence was breached as they kept UCD scoreless from then on, and even tagged on two further points to earn a 10 point victory.



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