College Tribune - Issue 6

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n e r i S the

It’s tough out there

Melancholy magic Interview: Siren - Page 6

Graduate Career Prospects Analysis: Page 12

Death Cab for Cutie

College Tribune

The Difference is We’re Independent

Issue 6 | Volume 22 | 25th November 2008



























■ Jennifer Bray Details have emerged of a recent Governing Authority meeting in which President Hugh Brady was questioned on the legitimacy of the League Tables. Professor Seán Dineen is believed to have quizzed Brady, asking him if figures provided to the adjudicators of the league tables were accurate, or if they had been ‘fudged’. It is reported that Brady responded that he ‘wasn’t doing anything other universities in Ireland weren’t doing.’ According to Dineen, suspicions that figures being provided to the main pioneers of the Survey, QS and The Times Higher Education Supplement, were incorrect pushed him to address the issue with Brady. The figures in question revolve around the number of FTE (Full time equivalent) staff and the number of students said to be existent in the university. The number of FTE staff claimed by UCD stands at 1,859. Dineen believes this number to be closer to 1,000. UCD further provided information stating there to be just over 17,000 students. “The fact is, the higher the staff numbers and the lower the student numbers- the better the university is going to do in the rankings due to the importance of the student/ staff ratio.” The student-staff ratio is one of the major criteria to determine the current rankings. Other sources within the Governing Authority have said there are suspicions post-doctoral members in the college are being used in the calculations, and milder suspicions that some postgraduates are being used. According to Ben Sowter, Director of Research for QS, “Postgraduate students are explicitly excluded in our definition of staff and have been for at least two years. Prior to this specification, this misinterpretation was a relatively common one.” He further says that should any issue arise with the legitimacy of the tables, an ‘erratum’ will be put on UCD on the site. Speaking to the College Tribune previously, President Brady said, “I am delighted at the results of the league tables. The jump in rankings from 177th to 108th is something which I thought would have taken ten years, not five. However, league tables are not the main motivations in UCD.”

» Continued: Page Four » Editorial: Page Nine


College Tribune | November 25th 2008

News News

600 signatures collected for transfusion protest ■ Tadgh Moriarty A recent visit by the IBTS (Irish Blood Transfusion Service) in UCD for their annual drive to encourage blood donation among students resulted in a one-man protest. LGBT Rights Officer Ryan Griffin spearheaded the “hugely successful” MSM blood campaign against the ban on gay men giving blood. This year he chose not to target the IBTS staff. Instead he decided to lobby the Minister for Health to set up a review group to examine the ban. Previous years have seen large demonstrations of students protesting. This year however, Griffin opted for the softer approach of handing out “last year’s pamphlets” and putting up “very effective” posters. The weeklong campaign provided 600 signatures. Griffin attempted to explain the shortfall with “the attitude that’s out there”, referring to the mind-set of many who had signed the petition last year and saw no point in doing so again, “as it had very little effect the first time”, he said. Undeterred by the low level of signatures, Griffin is determined to reach a target of 3000, three times higher than SU president, Aodhan O’Dea’s, expectations for “a thousand or so”. The LGBT Rights Officer has asked class reps to hand out the petition to their classes. Though it is acknowledged the LGBT could have provided great amounts of support, Griffin decided not to involve the society citing his reasoning as wishing to steer clear of “internal politics”. Despite the small number of signatures, O’Dea felt that the campaign had been “massively successful”. In his opinion “It’s as much about getting signatures as it is about getting the message across and raising awareness”.

■ Smokey statue: Despite excess demand, Belgrove is not filled to capacity

Student residences lie empty Apartments in Belgrove are lying dormant despite the fact over 500 students missed out on the on-campus accommodation at the start of this year. Welfare Officer for the Students’ Union Conor Fingleton has branded the situation “unacceptable”. He further says “I know of one particular case in which the room in question was empty since the end of September. Another class rep has told me that they only just moved into a room that had also been unused for quite some time.”

■ Jennifer Bray Fingleton says he cannot explain why this is happening, but that he is seeking to find out when he brings the matter to the attention of the Residence Committee this Friday. “The only reason I can think of that this could happen would be if a student de-registered and it took a while to show on the system, although even this I’m not sure of”. President of the Students’ Union

Aodhán Ó Deá has also lashed out against the occurrence saying he has spoken to other members of the union on the matter and intends to follow it up. Of the 500 students who did not get accepted onto the campus accommodation this year, the majority are understood to be first year undergraduate students. Criteria for eligibility for the residences range from disability, contribution to campus life, the geographical location of the candidate, and the

applicants year of study with a greater weighting going towards first years and final year students. UCD currently has rooms on the Belfield and Blackrock Campus for more than 2500 students in residence. In 2008, 615 places were awarded to an undergraduate international allocation, 16 to those in the Bord Na Gaeilge entries, 40 to those on disability and 900 to first year undergraduates. Other places were awarded to those on sports scholarships and other entry paths.


College Tribune LG 18, Newman Building (Arts Block) or Box 74, Student Centre, UCD Email: Tel: 01 716 8501 Editors Acting Features Editor Sports Editor Arts Editor Music Editor Health & Fashion Editor Chief News Writer

Jennifer Bray Simon Ward Philip Connolly Bryan Devlin Cathy Buckmaster Sebastian Clare Aoife Ryan Karina Bracken

Contributors Steven West, Eoghan Brophy, Jordan Daly, Colman Hanley, Steve Tuohy, Fiona Redmond, Heather Landy, Ruth O’Neill, Maximilliam Harding, Faustus, Tadgh Moriarty, Evan O’Leary, Chris Bond, Sam McGrath, Jason Timmons, Ben McCormack, Rachel Boyle, Diarmuid Laffan, Jessica Whyte, Nicholas Broadstock, Orla Kenny, Katie Godwin, Jessica Egan, Philip Connolly, Niamh Bhreathanach, Orna Mulhern, Eoghan Glynn, Roe McDermott, Conor McKenna, Aoife Smyth, Cian Taaffe

Special thanks to... Huw Jones and Frank Flynn at NWN, Karen from DEAF, everyone at MCD, Chantal at Universal, Alan and Beryl Ward, Sharon and Joseph Bray, 60 Cents Mochas, Eilish O’Brien and Dominic Martella at the UCD Communications Office, Caitrina & Colin, Hilper’s Scones, Jack.

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College Tribune | November 25th 2008


■ Ross: The UCD coffee establishments were a mine of material for Paul Howard (inset)

Roysh back in the thick of things ■ Charlotte McCarthy Author of the infamous Ross O’Carroll installments Paul Howard last week re-visited Belfield, his “original source for material.” Speaking after last Wednesday’s L&H comedy debate, Howard said “when I first starting writing Ross O’Carroll Kelly I was going out with a girl who was in first year Commerce and she was just an invaluable source of material, a bit of a D4 head herself, you know.” When queried on whether upon his return he noticed any difference in the recessionary UCD, Howard said “No, not really. It will be next year I would say before changes start kicking in around Belfield. It’s too early now. No one knows how this is going to play out, and there is

a lot of uncertainty out there at the moment, people are weary of spending their money. That said, I don’t really notice it up here that much. I used to hang around in the coffee shops and in 911

where everyone used to buy their rolls so I got a lot of material there.” A famous pastpupil of UCD, Ross O’Carroll Kelly has become synonymous with words such as “roysh” and “orts”. Despite the prevalence of the O’Carroll Kelly books and columns, Howard feels that the character is still relevant to life in the college. “I think the audience tonight proved he’s still relevant. It’s becoming more relevant. I read to an audience of 400 last night in Galway and without wanting to sound my own horn the new book went to the top of the best seller list, selling more than number two, three, four and five combined which when you’re on your eighth book is really gratifying.”

Future of LGBT Auditor hangs in balance ■ Tadgh Moriarty The LGBT has called an extra general meeting (EGM) after details of the auditor Sean McGovern’s Halloween antics emerged in last fortnight’s College Tribune. Controversy erupted following the auditor’s decision to dress as an aborted foetus, with “blatant disregard for the sensitivities of others”. The EGM has been called to discuss whether the current auditor is to remain a “suitable representation” of the society. A source close to the auditor revealed that impeachment is a very possible outcome. When interviewed a fortnight ago, the auditor failed to apologise for his costume choice. Instead he “didn’t actually care really” about how others viewed his costume. He appeared indifferent to the fact many may have been offended or upset by his outfit. The costume consisted of fake blood, and plastic refuge sacks. McGovern previously stated, “ In this day and age, if I can stir enough controversy simply with a Halloween costume it just says a little bit too much about the way people are worried about political correction.” Students’ Union Welfare officer, Connor Fingleton, voiced his distaste at the outfit adding that it did not represent the “good values for the society”. Ryan Griffin (LGBT RO) added to these sentiments by commenting that McGovern “did not take into account the sensitivities of others” and had caused insult to a number of people as a result. Despite this, the SU will not be getting involved in what they call the “internal politics” of the soci-


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■ McGovern: EGM called after Halloween antics ety, nor will they “openly condemn” the auditor for his costume, Aodhan O Dea has said. All members of the LGBT have been encouraged to attend and to cast their vote. The EGM will be taking place on Thursday 27th November, and it is here the auditor will be forced to “stand accountable for his actions”, and accept the verdict of the other members of the society.



College Tribune | November 25th 2008

News News

News in Brief

Councillor speaks out against Gateway

■ Compiled by Stephen Lynott

■ Jennifer Bray

Student taken out of residences in ambulance A student in the Roebuck Residences was taken out off the campus in an ambulance with poor health last Tuesday. The ambulance arrived shortly after midnight, and was seen to leave the campus soon after collecting the said individual. A spokesperson for the university was unavailable for comment at the time of going to print.

New research initiative Details emerged last week of an exciting new initiative aimed at aiding emerging Irish researchers in their endeavours. Experts in science and engineering will be eligible to benefit from the scheme which sees 11 million euro in funding available to selected applicants. The money is the combined total from two different schemes which aim to aid postdoctoral researchers by funding their placement in a top-level institution of their choice worldwide. Successful candidates will then return to Ireland with the knowledge and connections within their fields that they have obtained abroad and thus further Irish involvement in global research. While the scheme is not specifically targeted at any particular university, UCD’s Science and Engineering faculties and those in the faculty are actively encouraged if eligible to take part in the scheme which would be of huge benefit to UCD should any staff member or post-doctorate students be successful in their applications and admitted to the programme.

Exam time Mumps warning In the last year there has been a steady rise in the numbers of those fallen ill with the mumps virus due to a fault in the national health system which left many young college students without the necessary vaccinations in certain areas. The government failure to ensure total coverage has not been fully addressed or excused by any of the political bodies in charge as to date, despite up to nearly 1,000 members of the public having been recorded as suffering from the mumps from the beginning of 2008 until the fifteenth of November. Amid revelations of this error, students are advised to get vaccinated. “It is the under twenty-fives that are most at risk”, states medical Director Sandra Tighe of the UCD student health service facility. “If a student is unsure of whether they received the correct dose they should come into the student centre and we can sort it out quickly enough, otherwise you are leaving yourself open to a bad dose at the wrong time. This would seriously wipe you out for exam time.”

Councillor for the Dun LaoghaireRathdown area Gearoid O’Keeffe has expressed concerns over the continued plans for the Gateway Project. “I have serious misgivings over this project”, says O’Keeffe. “I have always seen UCD as primarily an educational institute, but the majorly commercial direction is worrying.” O’Keeffe furthermore states that a development like Gateway will have wider consequences on the local community. “Roebuck, Clonskeagh and neighbouring areas will feel the pressure if and when this project is complete, especially when it comes to issues such as transportation.” Recent rumours of problems with the future funding of the Gateway Project have been shot down by the college. According to a spokesperson for UCD, there is no founding whatsoever for claims of problems with those privately funding the project. “It must be gauged how successful this will be, and it is surprising the plans continue given how difficult the money situation is in these times.” The designs for the project include plans for a crèche, supermarket, residences, exhibition space, and a medical centre.

And the real Gateway… The Glebe House UCD Along with the Gateway Project, the ‘Science District’ and the new student

centre, one particularly extravagant development stands out in the college’s extensive plans of expansion. The Glebe house is listed as an “Irish neo-gothic style stone cottage which was once used as a former gatehouse associated with the neighbouring Roebuck Castle.” The university has reportedly carried out “extensive refurbishments

■ O’Keeffe: “The majorly ■ commerical direction is worrying”

and improvements” to the building. A short trip to Glebe House to distinguish between the before and after shows a very ornate new granite wall.

A vital and main part of this muchhyped development, it is reported that the “new wall will divert the flow of pedestrian traffic and afford privacy to the ground floor accommodation, without affecting the integrity of the house itself.” This new wall clearly marks one of many controversial innovations to the campus to be seen thus far.

Legitimacy of League Tables under scrutiny » From Page One Recent comments made by members of the Governing Authority have led to further developments in the examination of the University League Tables. One senior lecturer and source within the Governing Authority has pointed to the fact UCD did not qualify in the top 100 for most of the disciplines of Science. “This is a startling result, seeing as this is where the money in the college is being directed towards. The fact that we ranked within the top 100 for Arts and Humanities and not Science just goes to show that more investment is needed back here in the Newman Building.” The college ranked in 73rd position on the tables in Arts and Humanities, but failed to break into the top 100 for Life Sciences and Biomedicine or Natural Sciences. Despite the evidence, a spokesperson for the college has said “UCD's performance shows improvement in all metrics in the Times Higher Education World University Rankings. In particular,

the academic survey rank, which is based on how a university is viewed by 6,000 academics worldwide, displays increases across all

five subject area categories: Arts & Humanities, Engineering & IT, Life Sciences & Biomedicine, Natural Sciences, and Social Sciences.”

■ UCD: Has risen to 108th in the recent rankings

College Tribune | November 25th 2008


Threats of resistance against Miss UCD ■ Organisation accuses Ents Officer of self-publicity ■ Students’ Union ‘completely misses the point’ ■ Karina Bracken Controversial beauty pageant Miss UCD has been voted in by the Students’ Union Council despite discontent amongst student groups. Reacting to the decision, Elisa O’Donovan of UCD Staff and Students Against Sexism, said: “Obviously we're very disappointed with SU council's decision to hold Miss UCD again this year. Honestly, there is only one reason I can think why the Ents officer, Gary Redmond, would want to run this after the controversy last year and that is for publicity for himself.” O’Donovan further says, “Miss UCD 2009 will defiantly be met with resistance. Many students once again are outraged that the union is funding such a competition. These competitions are dragging women back to the days when we were only judged by our appearance. I also don't think students’ money should be supporting the Miss Universe franchise that is ultimately quite degrading to both men and women.” Campaigns and Communications Vice-President Dan O’Neill pointed out that the decision

appears particularly damaging because all of the SU Sabbatical officers are male. However, O’Donovan believes “the fact that the sabbatical officers are all male this year is irrelevant, as both Dan O'Neill and Aodhán O Deá supported the protest against Miss UCD last year.” She added “we obviously do have a complete lack of female representation in union positions. I don't think holding a beauty pageant is the right way to draw women to get involved in the union.” O’Donovan is of the view that the decision to bring back the competition reflects badly on UCDSU. “It's very hypocritical of the union really. Miss UCD undoes some of the good work done by the SU, such as running talks by Bodywhys. But then they turn around and fund a competition that perpetuates this myth of an 'ideal' female body. Similarly, there is no point of the SU running a Disability Awareness week and then holding a competition that pretty much excludes disabled people from entering. They have also missed the entire point of Women’s Week, whose aim was to empower women to feel more confident about themselves.”

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College Tribune | November 25th 2008

News News

Qualms over new ‘Science District’ ■ Professor voices concerns over ‘neglect’ of Arts and Humanities ■ Katie Godwin A philosophy lecturer in the college has accused UCD of placing “commercial interest ahead of academic integrity”. Responding to questions on the newly renovated Science Building, officially christened the “Science District”, Dr Brian Elliot stated that he feels President Brady’s promise at previous graduation ceremonies to renovate the Arts and Humanities building will not be realised. The Science District is promised to be completed by 2012, and will include complete refurbishment of all existing science buildings as well as construction of a new building of 10,000m sq. One of the advantages cited for this extensive project is that it will ‘attract world-class researcher to UCD’. However, Elliot considers the university’s new commercialistic ideals damaging to the academic progress of

the arts and uses his own subject as an example. “We have a thriving graduate research community (around thirty doctoral students) and yet the one graduate seminar we have for teaching purposes will receive no significant funding, when in reality we urgently require further dedicated teaching space. The reason for the denial of funding in such cases is quite simple: the university hierarchy sees no prospect of economic return on such investment.” For Elliott, the Science District plan is ‘symbolic’ of the dangerously commercialised place the university has become. Announcing the need for change, he worries about the effectiveness of the democratic system in the college. “The internal mechanisms of democratic decision making at UCD are clearly not functioning. Thus, the only way to address these issues is for concerned staff and students to come to-

gether in order oblige the President and university hierarchy to take their concerns seriously and act on them.” According to the college website for the developments in science “UCD’s

Science District presents a vision for science in Ireland in the early decades of the 21st century and a plan for UCD’s role in making that vision a reality”.

■ New Era: The UCD Science District


Cruising reaction ■ Katie Godwin

Marcus O Laoire 2nd Year Arts

Students’ Union address gay cruising issue ■ SU President brings concerns to services ■ Claims of staff involvement brushed off by UCD SU President Aodhán O Deá has brought student’s worries over the recent warning issued on gay cruising to the attention of services within the college. Concerned about the proximity of one cruising area to the theatres frequently used by schoolchildren for debating, he believes that if a male was “involved in the same way” with a female student, there would be uproar. Meanwhile, claims that staff have been allegedly engaging in gay cruising on campus have been dismissed by UCD authorities. According to a spokesperson for the university, there is ”no legitimate basis” to provide an enquiry into whether staff are involved or not. However, one member of controversial cruising website has

■ Tadhg Moriarty alleged to be a tutor in the Arts Faculty, with another member having an office in the Tierney building. Both men were willing to meet students in a variety of locations around campus. The latter of the men who claimed to be staff even offered to use the office he worked in after the other staff members had left to “have some fun”. O Deá has denounced the possible staff involvement outright. He feels it is “disgraceful staff could be engaging students in that way”. He condemned the “terrible practice” and felt action was needed by the college to investigate the matter and act on the findings. UCD has known of cruising ongo-

ing on campus since at least 2006 but has failed to act on the information. According to An Garda Siochana “sexual acts in public places are illegal” and the police force is “charged with the enforcement of this legislation”. In return for anonymity, one man who has engaged in cruising in UCD spoke briefly to the Tribune. He revealed for him “it’s just an occasional laugh but for others it's a compulsive need for the intense adrenaline rush and something approaching an addiction”. He further said that by exposing the “covert, underground, and secretive” practices ongoing on campus the story would “put the frighteners on anyone cruising on campus.” Security would “seriously step up vigilance” and it the practise would cease.

“Having read the article thoroughly I was quite surprised at the fact that people were gay cruising in the toilets. I have no problem with the gay community; I have a lot of gay friends. I think it is a bit shocking and indecent and I think it does give a bad image to the gay community,”

Patrick O Connor 3rd year GPEP “When I read about it, I was quite surprised. I didn’t think that sort of stuff went on around campus”

Barry Lonergan 2nd Year Arts “If someone approached me in the toilets, I have to say I would be a bit weirded out. However, other than that, to be honest I don’t really mind or care”

Richard Guidon Smith 1st Year Arts “Oh I think it’s scandalous. I think it gives a bad name to the gay community. If I was approached, I would definitely have the sense to turn it down”

Mathew Ellison 3rd year Arts “I think it’s shocking. We live in a time where sexual disease is rampant and this kind of behaviour is not going to do anything to remedy this. It’s very discomforting for other people as well. It discourages me from using the toilets. Who wants to use a cubicle knowing that it has been used for gay cruising?”

Conor McKennaDrama Society Auditor “I wouldn’t like to discriminate against anyone, it’s important that everyone can cruise whether you be gay or bisexual or transgender. Everyone has a right to cruise. That’s in the statute of human rights I believe, isn’t it? I went on a cruise around the Caribbean there last summer…”

College Tribune | November 25th 2008


Big Brother UCD security slated Students, security and administration clash over the possible introduction of campus security checkpoints ■ Aoife Ryan

Recent proposals for the introduction of security I.D checkpoints on campus residences have been met with anger from students. These checkpoints would be placed around the entrance spots of the accommodation sites, allowing staff to scan over those who enter the premises in the evenings from approximately eleven o'clock. The motion of bringing in extra security was brought forward by the head of residence and college administrators. However, it is still being met with strong opposition by the students, many of whom view it as a security force decision rather than a fellow-student founded objective. “Security has been so tight already that I think people simply feel this is another lockdown”, states Aodhan O' Dea, Students’ Union President. “Any complaints are due to students feeling domineered, we are all adults after all and the opposition just feels we are old enough to take care of ourselves in this regard without any extra staff interjections. If the affected students lived on nearby estates this wouldn't be hap-

pening. In the real world outside of a student society like this nobody is going to go over each person as they come home.” Welfare Officer Conor Fingleton describes the worries over the plans as “legitimate” and says the proposals are more of a hindrance than a help. “The idea to introduce barrier areas around Belfield in the hope of ensuring safety has led many students to feel controlled by the higher powers to an unfair degree”, he says. The Students’ Union in the previous council meeting decided to defer the motion to the next, until they receive further details on the precise nature of the plans. Furthermore, a public meeting has been organised for this week by those opposing at which their protestations will be further expressed. Advertised around the campus, posters state, “Have security gone too far?” In spite of this, it is still unknown in whose favour the union will ultimately vote. “In our first hectic week back we will either support the implementation or make our objections clear around the university and to the various governing heads, depending on the outcome of our next session. We will make our voice heard on the topic”, O'Dea says.

■ Big Brother: Security has been ramped up


Writing de diary Aldous to help write Ahern autobiography

■ Head of UCD’s History and Archives Department, Richard Aldous (inset), has been enlisted to help former Taoiseach Bertie Ahern write his autobiography. Aldous was selected from a shortlist of authors to assist Ahern, who has been offered a six figure sum for the book Simon Ward




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College Tribune | November 25th 2008

Comment News


FAUSTUS Back Supping with the devils Sick and tired of you disgusting, abysmal, supercilious, haughty, degenerate and scum-bucket reprobates, Faustus fled for foreign waters and landed desperately in search of some hack free air. Strangely enough, your correspondent ended up wandering the streets of Whitehall, in a different sort of political arena; one that has actually has powers and even better, matters. But of course, it wasn’t long before those lovely fresh airs of London town where polluted by the pungent pong of UCD Arsocracy. Now I do not normally go in for these man crushes, but…with his flowing crimped mane, pronounced jaw line, and after many many an hour in the student-funded gym, protruding privatised pecs and eyes so cold but yet so deep, Faustus albeit for a split second harboured an unusual sensation that arrived with that presidential whiff, the whiff of power. So why, dear reader, was I in the presence of such greatness this week? Our dear lord and master Brady was out pressing the flesh to snaffle some hardearned from the UCD ex-pats. Sadly for dear old Hugh, our London alumni are tighter than a virgin’s daughter. Alas, despite thriftiness of the cockney locals, Faustus decided to take this opportunity to represent you, esteemed student, and gauge what truly is going on between the ears of one of Ireland’s most mentally horse-powered minds. Sadly, not a lot. Hugh Hugh, perhaps a little bit intimidated by an old haggard

observer like myself was effusive when challenged on his plan for world domination. Overheard later on, our boy Brady subjected one poor unfortunate in the hallowed surroundings of the House of Commons to rigorous questioning on how he could advance down that elusive path to all-out dictatorship. The response was illuminating: “ Buy us more drinks.” Oh, the presidential pain… So, amidst ruminations on the incredibly cheap flight home, one could only conclude that the college is in incredibly confused and aloof hands. There might be a pint though if you’re lucky. The return to the delightful concrete vistas of Belfield was in a word, shit, What a strange homely feeling it is to come back to the corridor of the hacks at 3am on a Sunday night. Only one light remained on, and that was of course of El President O’Dea. Yes, he cares nothing for energy conservation. Gliding up the hall of doom, each door was posted with a sign on where each member was, as the union is all into accountability these days. O’Dea- In Wexford. Still searching for class rep deposit. O’NeillScaling the spire with no to fees banner. Fingleton- Craggy Island. Redmond- Still missing, assumed up Quinlivan’s posterior. LynamThe George. So, this watchful eye is making a list, and checking it twice, and going to find out who’s naughty or nice… And what do all the hacks want for Christmas? (Besides their deposit) Exactly what Brady wants. An extension. Maybe then, and only then can all those egos be housed safely. Have a truly shit Christmas, Yours grinchingly, Faustus.

Why short-term volunteering is good for Ireland Got the recessionary woes? Eoin Mac Aodha argues that the best cure is a short-term volunteering placement in the developing world Given recent media attention to the ‘recessionary times’ we live in it might seem disingenuous to declare that things in Ireland aren’t really that bad. True, the property market has collapsed, the banks have committed harri karri, and decent working class people are losing their jobs but we are not witnessing mass starvation or the collapse of rule and order. The vast majority of Irish citizens still live in decent housing and have access to food and water. Perspective is a powerful tool and when we compare the recent dip in financial fortunes to the conditions that the vast majority of people in the world are living in we will realise that we are still the lucky ones. Of the 6.7 Billion people in the world just over 5 Billion live in the developing world with 1.2 Billion people living on just $1 a day. Indeed if we were to shrink the world down into just one global village of 100 people only 21 would be Europeans. 80 would live in substandard housing, 50 would suffer from malnutrition, 1 person would have a college education and 1 person would own a computer. Thus you are in the 1% elite. For those who are still in employment the credit crisis has merely reduced their disposable income. It’s always difficult to accept a reduction in personal circumstances, the memory of how things were is often worse than actual penury. Let us not forget though, that the

Eoin Mac Aodha Celtic Tiger and it’s trappings of consumerism is a relatively new phenomenon and we do not need to travel back too far into history to remember a time when a significant amount of Irish people were engaged in subsistence living, just like a large proportion of the developing world today. Amid this climate, short-term volunteering projects to the developing world can play an important role in reminding Irish people of their past, their duties as global citizens and offer a little perspective on how bad things really are in Ireland. Equally, the opportunity to live and work with communities in the developing world gives volunteers the opportunity to experience at first-hand the conditions that the majority world lives in. Anyone who has built a house with a poor family in South America, volunteered in a HIV/AIDS hospice in Africa or worked with women forced

into prostitution in Asia could not help but feel that we’re all over-reacting a little bit. Last summer I co-ordinated a shortterm volunteering project to the Philippines for the Irish NGO SERVE. This is a country where over 36million people live on less than $1 a day, where the price of rice doubled in just a few months, a place where families live in shacks over creeks, beside railway tracks, inside cemeteries and on top of rubbish dumps. While there I received regular emails about Ireland’s economic woes and expected to return to a country a shell of how I’d left it. I came home to find people still living in decent housing and no queue’s for government subsidised potatoes just panic and hysteria. I found a country that is still one of the richest pre-capita in the world where access to education and services is light years ahead of the rest of the world, a country living beyond it’s means just brought down to earth a little bit. It didn’t shake my belief that we are still the lucky ones and that there’s no better cure for the recessionary woes than a short-term volunteering placement in the developing world.

» Eoin Mac Aodha is a former advocacy officer for Irish NGO SERVE and now works as a trainee solicitor. He is also a former editor of the College Tribune

College Tribune | November 25th 2008


Please reply to:

Letters Cruising Dear Sir/Madame, I am writing this letter in response to your last front page, entitled “Dire Warning issued over UCD gay cruising”. I was shocked to read about your findings, and I believe it raises a number of issues. First of all, if, as it is commonly accepted, we must be careful of the dangers of contracting STIs in these times than this is a poor show of the responsibility of a select few members of the gay community. Meeting a random man on a cam-


College Tribune LG 18, Newman Building (Arts Block) or Box 74, Student Centre, UCD Email: Tel: 01 716 8501 The College Tribune reserves the right to edit letters

College Tribune pus of 22,000 staff and students in a cubicle for sex is first of all, as the article stated, a dangerous activity to those partaking and to the wider community as a whole. Some cruisers may feel that they are, despite perceptions of society today, under pressure not to ‘come out’. If this is true, it is highly unfortunate. What is also highly unfortunate though, is that there are still those who persist with what is commonly known as ‘gay bashing’. Thus, it seems to me that if UCD and certain areas (particularly secluded ones) become known for this activity, the

safety of students in the college is certainly under question. It is an accepted fact that where there are secluded public places there exists the potential for this kind of activity. This college must not become known as one of these places, and perhaps some kind of action should be taken by authorities to prevent this occurrence, and prevent any possible danger from it arising. Yours truly, Thomas Lawless 3rd Business and Law



League Tables When interviewed by the College Tribune, Hugh Brady explicitly stated that performance in university league tables was not the overriding rationale for policies chosen in the college. However the misgivings of a professor within the university on the legitimacy of the THES World University Rankings cast this aspersion into doubt. If the university is pursuing a policy to misrepresent the figures to adjudication bodies then it seems to be a crude and dishonest method to ascend the league tables and to achieve what ‘should have taken taken years’ what was achieved in five. There appears to be a distinct possibility that UCD is not the only third-level institution reportedly engaging in practices of making the figures more appealing to the so-called referees. This news only goes to reflect the sentiments previously voiced by the IFUT that the tables are ‘inherently flawed’ and that both the media and the internal focus given to such rankings should be rethought. Furthermore, details on individual rankings cast further aspersions on the ethos and direction of the university. The results confirm that Arts and Humanities are ranked within the top 100, and many disciplines of science remain outside. The faculty of Arts and Humanities must not be ignored, as it is a vital part of Newman’s vision of what the university ought to be. To relegate it in the university merit order would be an exercise in futility.

No room at the inn.... or is there?


College Tribune


The Difference is We’re Independe

Accommodation for students is hard to find. Reports now surfacing of empty rooms across campus raise serious questions on exactly how organised the residences are at the present time. If over 500 students were refused on-campus accommodation in 2008, it is fair to assume that there are at present a great number of students on the waiting list. Finding accommodation is a long and laborious process, and often ends badly for a small number of students who end up in the notorious bedsits frequently advertised as much more online. This kind of pressure, where possible, should be alleviated. Those students on waiting lists for residences should question the authorities on exactly how full the allocations are, and press for acceptance into the college accommodation. If the matter is pressing enough, given the weighting towards geography, situation and year of study, such a student will hopefully find themselves successful once the matter is cleared up.


College Tribune | November 25th 2008

Features News

'It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours.' With the media proliferated of economic doom and gloom and alarming rises in the numbers on the Live Register, Jordan Daly speaks to leading Economist Paul Murgatroyd about graduate prospects and gets an insight into the R word "Looking at the graduates for 09’ they are going to be coming into the toughest environment for 30 or 40 years. This doesn’t deter from the fact that those coming into the market with a degree are far better off than those without one so it’s all relative to the peers of that age group. At the start of the boom it was financially advantageous for people to skip third level education and come straight into the workforce, to

"It’s a tough market out there but where people are creative there are opportunities. I would say it’s even more important to have a degree in a weaker economy than in a booming economy”

the detriment of wider society.” “We’ve all heard the stories of the plasterers and carpenters who finished their apprenticeships at the age of 19 or 20 and earned up to six thousand a month but that’s not happening in these economic times. Even for graduates it’s important to do well in your discipline as it’s so competitive but those without further education will be worse off as they are left at the bottom of the barrel.” Murgatroyd is sceptical about the future. A report, done by PricewatehouseCoopers, showed that in the long run graduates earn 20-25% more than those who leave education after second level. Over their lifetime graduates in dentistry and medicine earn 437,000 more than those without a qualification and graduates in arts and humanities earn over 60,000 more over their career. Employment is expected to fall in 2008 by 14,000 and by 47,000 in 2009. The rate of unemployment is expected to average 6.1 percent in 2008 and to jump further in 2009, averaging 8 percent. For graduates however according to Graduate Careers Ireland, 71% of the 211 employers it questioned said it planned to recruit the same number of graduates this year as in 2007. Just 2% plan an increase. "Technically we are in recession already. It’s the first downturn for at least fifteen years, and the worst period since the 1980s, making it a very tough period in Ireland’s economic his-

offer to do additional work, and make yourself as indispensable as possible. Job cuts occur across the board in all sectors, and re-

tory. We are likely to see the same for 2009 at least and into 2010. Although the circumstances of this recession are very different, namely in the 1980s it was driven by very high interest rates and low employment rates, where as this time round it’s financial crisis and credit crunch that has rippled down from the financial economy to the real economy and that’s unprecedented since the turn of the century and the great depression." "The global climate is reflecting this national trend. An economy being cyclical in nature , what goes up must come down, but the pace and severity of the downturn since the summer this year has taken everybody by surprise. We’ve had a sharp shock in the last six months which has contradicted an expected levelling off and it’s likely to continue into the New Year. “This year Christmas started early in an attempt to push start the spluttering retail sector but with Christmas parties few on the ground and part time hours in danger of extinction, students are realising the grave nature of their career launch timing.” "It’s a tough market out there but where people are creative there are opportunities. I would say it’s even more important to have a degree in a weaker economy than in a booming economy. In relation to graduate discipline prospects, Medicine, Dentistry

and Law are safe and as career sculptured graduates will not find employment difficulty. Engineering is a bit more market dependent although top class engineering graduates are always in demand. I believe computer science and information technology graduates are reasonably safe and assured of jobs, more than those in social sciences or humanities where their degrees are not as career specific." Accountancy firms like PriceWaterHouseCoopers, KPMG and Ernst&Young recruit 1000 graduates every year and continue to be among the top ten graduate employers. The good news is that 60% of all employers will recruit graduates from any discipline for their all round experience and transferable skills they have gained. "Don’t rely on being the computer whizz who isn’t able to speak in public and hold a meeting. Wider skills with a career specific degree are essential to job safety. Humanities have only the softer skills really, like writing reports, giving presentations and training where as science and I.T. graduates are in demand for their analytical and practical skills. You need to spread yourself as thin as possible across different departments and areas, make yourself as valuable as possible, take on extra responsibility where you can,

duced hours and wage reductions are particularly common. In order to prepare for job hunting students need to be multi-skilled." "The days of being specialised to one discipline like just an engineer, or a sociologist, you need to develop every area skill possible. People also need to realise there are no jobs for life they need to react quickly to a changing jobs market where career changes are needed to adapt and they may need to go back to get the new qualifications to survive in the competition for positions. Across sectors you have to be flexible and open to change." "If the economy is depressed and there are few jobs it does increase the

incentive to stay on in education and earn further qualifications which are an advantage in a loss prosperous environment. The lost salary of not going into employment is lower, so financially it makes economic sense to stay on in third level education when the labour market is depressed." An indication of the health of our economy is the migration trends."The net immigration boom of the past ten years is turning around, not on official statistics as fast as on the ground, anecdotally we can all see the poles and other eastern Europeans are repatriating and going home with their hard earned money from the prosperous times, but at the moment Ireland remains an attractive location for immigration and emigration won’t significantly increase for some time with some graduates leaving for stronger labour markets and following the money as it were." "What we’re seeing is a consumer driven recession whereby people have stopped spending, and it applies to everything that is produced, whether cars or whatever demand has fallen across the board. It’s widespread and is causing a deep recession; it’s not confined to a dotcom bubble burst or a plummeting property market. For Ireland to survive in a global economy which is so constrained by fuel costs there is a need as I see it to develop local economies. Food will be produced locally and rather than shipping from china local produce is needed to restore jobs to Ireland and avoid importing what we can produce at home and technology will

play a huge part in this. Localisation will improve Ireland’s economy and help reduce the impact on the Environment, a huge issue in the global economy." Whatever happens, it seems there is little that will prevent most graduates from entering an ever more chilled economic climate, and we still may not have seen the worst of the storm. So back to that degree than...

College Tribune | November 25th 2008



Reader’s Digest girl comes home Reader’s Digest editor Sarah Sands reflects on a long career in British newspapers and tells Andrew McGuinness about her plans for one of world’s best loved publications Arriving at the Reader’s Digest building, set amongst a raft of towering steel and glass buildings in east London’s Canary Wharf, I’m met by Hazel Gilbertson, PA to the editorin-chief. “Hello, my dear”, chirps a cheery Scottish accent. To those who know Sarah Sands, the appointment of Gilbertson was a welcome return. Hazel was Sands’ PA at the time of her dismissal from the top job at the Sunday Telegraph in March 2006, from a tall building a couple of hundred yards away in Canary Wharf. Future Fleet Street historians may reflect back on the positively Churchillian message the move has sent to the media class; “Sarah is back”. “I have always found Canary Wharf tremendously exciting so I love being back”, Sands says. “Straight away there is great drama: people are outside with removal boxes from Lehman Brothers, permanently clamped to mobile phones, drinking in the afternoon and smoking constantly. There’s something quite civilised about it all.” Sands took over as editor-in-chief of the UK and Ireland edition of Reader’s Digest to breathe new life into the magazine, much of which used to be bought from newspapers but is now generated in-house. She hopes to broaden its reach, arguing that gripping stories about real-life dramas will appeal to a family audience. “Reader’s Digest is always one of those publications that have a truly global reach. I remember it growing up in both Malawi and in England. My father was a Reader’s Digest character – a studious, well meaning man who went to Malawai thinking he could do a tremendous amount of good, and help ease the transition from colonialism to independence for the indigenous people. He is the son of a Methodist chaplain so he does have that altruistic streak that I think you see a lot of in Reader’s Digest.” The life and times of Sarah Sands could have been plucked from a thrilling essay in the publication she now edits. There’s been a healthy dollop of adventure, mischief, despair, occasional farce, and a sense of duty along the way. Having attended a local Methodist boarding school in Kent, Sands succumbed to the left wing views espoused by bands like the Clash and the Sex Pitols, recalling that it was

just another way of trying to destabilise the status quo. Her first marriage was to the actor Julian Sands, with whom she has one son, Henry, and she counts theatrical luminaries among her close friends,

“When people began to talk about content editors rather than journalists you sensed things had change forever. It is rather a glorious trade and I feel the romance has gone” including John Malkovich. “I studied English and Drama at Goldsmith College. It was a wild time. I first met Julian at a Sex Pistols gig. We were two punks, he was a Sting look-alike in his leather jacket and we used to listen to endless Police records. We married shockingly young.” The marriage ended soon after and Sands is now married to the journalist, Kim Fletcher, with whom she has two children. Sands has fond memories of her first real initiation into journalism. After work on her first day, she was taken out for drinks in El Vino on Fleet Street by a battle hardened crew of journalists that included. I was the provincial girl who up to that was more used to drinking bitter lemon. That first evening after drinking a couple of bottles wine I fell down the stairs and ended up in Guys Hospital, with my very disapproving sister coming to rescue me.” Primed for social intercourse having grown up in one of Middle England’s most celebrated towns Tunbridge Wells, Kent - Sarah Sands remains at heart a Thatcherite housewife, advocating hard work and education as the road to self-improvement. “In my twenties, I remember thinking how wonderful it would be to send a son to Westminster school and know I’m so thrilled that I have a son at Westminster. And that’s a very Reader’s Digest thing of the education being a very transformative process.” Reader’s Digest is available in 165 countries and reaches nearly 100 million readers, selling just under

700,000 copies in the UK and Ireland and remains a lucrative business and brand. The magazine presently sells 15,300 copies on subscription in the Republic of Ireland and around 3,500 on news stand sales. It is one of the few UK publishers to have converted its cover price into Euro. At a dazzling launch party in London’s Wallace Collection, where English rugby players mingled freely with former leaders of the Conservative Party and Nigella Lawson, an excolleague of Sands’ quipped to me; “It’s like the glory days of the Telegraph in the late nineties in here tonight”, a reference as much to the large number of former colleagues still in the court of Sands, as it was to the kind of loyalty she inspires. If her time at the Evening Standard molded Sands into a formidable interviewer and feature writer, becoming Charles Moore’s deputy at the Daily Telegraph finetuned the news and comment repertoire, and enabled her to make the transition to ruling editorial class. “The nice thing about being at the Telegraph was being with Charles Moore who’d I’d known slightly beforehand, and who was a terrific person to work with. He was there to provide the gravitas and it was my job to cause trouble really. It was tremendously fun time and Charles was a fantastic editor. I’m not sure they exist anymore – these editors were also known as great intellects and there was a lot of high table about leader conferences.” When Auberon Waugh - son of Evelyn - was on his deathbed, he made Sands promise she’d put a naked woman on the front of The Daily Telegraph. She kept her pledge, sneaking on a picture of a topless girl in 2004. Her new title is telling. This editorin-chief rules the roost and, unlike her stint at the Sunday Telegraph, doesn’t have to run around like the Mary Queen of Scots figure she giddily recalls, whispering ‘outrageous’ and ‘unfair’ after management appointed people over her to control her every move. What Sands puts forward is not some outdated, Arcadian view of a newspaper world that has gone forever. Rather it’s a sober acceptance that the heady days of what some have deemed ‘country-club’ antics

are long gone. Nowadays, hacks don’t have much scope to leave their desk for assignments or boozy lunches, are expected to work longer hours and put as much time into the next frontier of journalism – online content. “I may sound like a frightful old bore but when I started in newspapers it was really just for the fun of it”, Sands says. “You wanted to cause trouble and were a bit restless. And by the time I left it was all business of the most crushing kind. I think around the turn of the century when people began to talk about content editors rather than journalists you sensed things had change forever. It is rather a glorious trade and I feel the romance has gone. What’s very nice about Reader’s Digest is that people are interested in stories and the written word, and there’s tremendous attention to detail. I feel you get the best of journalism and something even nicer which is publishing. Journalism can be quite first draft, hasty and bru-

tal in some ways and there’s a lot due diligence here, and people tend to be a bit more cerebral and bookish.” From recent issues of the relaunched Reader’s Digest, it’s clear that Sands is not just targeting women in their forties in her attempt to bring a magazine synonymous with dentist’s waiting rooms to a younger audience. Michael Palin and Stephen Fry may have pitched in with features in recent issues, but recent cover stories essentially have had a gap year focus. “For students you get the sense of boys own adventure and the travelling experience from these stories – something which is a Reader’s Digest first principle.” And with that, Miss First Principles bounds off into the autumnal, Canary Wharf evening and into a waiting black cab. Fittingly the cab, whose meter has been running for sometime, has her name in block capitals in the window. Sarah Sands has come home and even the London cabbies know it.


College Tribune | November 25th 2008

Features News

Speaking out against an epidemic Tadgh Moriarty spoke to a HIV infected prisoner and a disease expert about combating HIV

“It’s not the end of the world or anything!” He disclosed that although it was a complete and utter shock, his HIV is now very well controlled, with his latest immune cell results very high. Yet for this prisoner, his jail term is not the only sentence he must serve. With very little to do in prison, and still having told no one of his HIV status, he decided to use his “time in the joint” productively and began to research the disease. With the help of the prison psychologist and doctor he is now on the HAART treatment regime (combination therapy). He grew up in a “normal enough sort of place” close to Drimnagh and was the oldest in a family of five. He was 20 when he became infected, now 22 he faces another year behind bars for the crime spree he embarked upon following his test result. He became infected through sex with his “bird” who it later transpires had been “sleeping around with another dirty fucker”. He estimates it was some time over the summer when it occurred, but it was not until the following spring when he developed a persistent pneumonia, that he sought medical advice. Following a barrage of tests, it emerged that he was now HIV positive. Knowing very little about the disease only that it was “something a lot of gays got”, he felt despondent and dejected. He refused to tell his parents, and discharged himself from hospital a few days later. Not knowing what to do or where to turn, he got “absolutely wasted” that night and started thrashing a number of shop fronts. Following an altercation with a guard, he ended up being prosecuted for criminal damage and assault and landed a three year sentence, of which he has served two. Realising that it is quite prevalent and that it was not exclusively a ‘gay disease’, he is glad he finally accepted the truth and revealed all to his family. His parents were “pale faced” when he told them as “they thought I was infecting them by being in the room with them”, but like him they consulted their local GP to gather as much information on the disease as they could.

Saddened by his outburst which landed him his jail time, they are happy that he is undergoing treatment and look forward to when he is finally released. When asked what one thing he would have done differently, he responded that he should always have used protection “she was on the pill and I sort of thought that was enough”. He now is very much aware that although the oral contraceptive pill provides good protection against pregnancy, it does nothing to stop the spread of STIs or HIV. Tony Walsh, an infectious disease consultant of Alternative Miss Ireland,

and is lowest among the ‘men who have sex with men’ community. Tony noted that the prevalence of HIV among young people is soaring. The message that organizations are trying ‘so hard to convey just isn’t getting through’; ‘There’s something not right’. ‘Young people in Ireland have developed a blasé attitude towards safer sex’; ‘‘Young people nowadays feel invincible’. A very small minority of young people has ever witnessed a friend or relative die of HIV or AIDS, Tony ‘stopped counting at 43’. These people die “horrible prolonged deaths”. He feels that is people knew “just how horrible the disease really is”, they would stop taking chances. We need to become more au fait with safer sex. When we think of sex we need to automatically associate it with the use of protection. He concedes that “accidents do happen”, but if and when they do, the person needs to be mature enough to seek help. ‘There are a multitude of centers in Dublin where STI screening, including HIV screening, is performed free of charge including St James’s Hospital Guide clinic and the Gay Men’s Health Project in Baggot Street’. Speaking about the gay saunas, a recent survey discovered that ‘The Boilerhouse’, a prominent one on crane Lane in the city centre, is a “major source of new infection of HIV”. However he does not condemn peoples use of the saunas, “they’re wonderful, they fulfill a need”, what he does take issue with is the way in which they are run. These saunas often find themselves in a “dilemma”, they are “in denial” at the number of their users who are HIV positive. They make “no great effort” to give out condoms or promote safer sex within the premises. According to Tony “they need to start looking after the wellbeing of the guys in there”. Sadly to date this has not been the case, one of the primary reasons why they are a “HIV hotspot”. HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Vi-

His parents were “pale faced” when he told them as “they thought I was infecting them by being in the room with them” spoke about the virus among the gay community in Dublin, particularly among the younger generation. He began by mentioning the recent publication issued by the Department of health and children. This is the governments five year plan for HIV prevention and makes for some “sobering reading”. It reveals that one person per day is infected in Ireland, and draws reference to the fact that the message of safer sex is “falling on deaf ears”. This year much fundraising was done by Tony and his organization for charities in Dublin which were set up to assist and aid those suffering with HIV such as the Dublin AIDS alliance and Open Heart house. These places provide valuable information and services to the HIV positive community, and help people to live their lives “to their fullest potential”. The prevalence of HIV is highest among heterosexuals, then IVDUs (Intravenous drug users)

rus) first made headlines back in the nineteen eighties when a number of gay men began to exhibit signs and symptoms of a previously unknown infection. Since its discovery on December 1st 1981, the World Health Organisation estimates it has lead to the deaths of more than 25 million people. Furthermore it estimates that 0.6% of the world’s population is now infected with the virus. HIV is thought to have originated in Southern Cameroon among primates at the beginning of the twentieth century. The virus is thought to have acquired genetic changes allowing it to jump the species barrier. This meant that the virus was now infective to humans, and so began “one of most destructive pandemics in recorded history”, according to the consultant. According to the ID consultant there are three main ways in which the infection can be spread; mother to child, through blood products and transmitted sexually. The mother to child or ‘vertical route’ is the least common now “thanks mostly to the introduction of new highly effective antiretroviral drugs”. The risk of transmission in uterus (while the foetus is in the womb) or during delivery in an untreated mother is 25%. However this is “drastically reduced” to 1% if the mother is treated with antiretroviral drugs during pregnancy; “there is now only a minimal risk that the baby will be born HIV positive”. If infected blood comes in contact with any open wound, HIV may be transmitted. This is reason why the disease is so prevalent amongst injecting drug users and why “sadly recipients of infected blood donations in the past are now (HIV) positive”. The most common route of transmission remains that of sexual transmission. He reminds students that this is not limited to sexual intercourse; “Infection occurs when any sexual secretions come into contact with the oral rectal or genital mucous membranes”. This means it can be spread through oral sex, albeit at a slightly lower risk. He thankfully reassures students however, that “there is no evidence that HIV is transmitted by kissing!” Furthermore, for HIV transmission to take place there are three “essen-

tial factors” which need to be in place. F the Route of transmission – this is the mean which the virus enters the body. Secondly HIV is an extremely weak virus and can be ily damaged once it has left the body by expo to air, bleach or to temperatures above sixty grees. Transmission may not occur if the “ ity” of the virus is impaired. Lastly there n to be a sufficient quantity present. In many people the initial infection may b ymptomatic, “hence the need for regular scr ing”. He urged all students to attend an screening centre at least once if not twice a while sexually active. It’s an all too commo currence that students while out ‘celebratin gallivanting’ consume a little too much alc and end up “waking up in someone else’s the next morning”. It’s often difficult to be 1 certain “you practiced safer sex” and “even did have a condom, did he use it correctly?” He further clarified the difference betw HIV and AIDS. HIV is a virus which attack

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College Tribune | November 25th 2008

body’s immune system and as the disease progresses it becomes “increasingly difficult for the body to ward off common infections”. It particularly targets CD4 white blood cells, which have a “pivotal role to play in setting in motion the immune response”. The virus uses the cells energy and nutrients to replicate itself allowing it to go on and infect other cells. The lower a person’s CD4 count, the weaker will be their immune system. A CD4 count of less than 200 is a defining feature of AIDS. AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome) is the result of the damage caused by HIV to the immune system. The damaged and weakened immune system is unable to adequately protect the body against opportunistic infections and infections which cause very little, if any problems in ‘uninfected immunocompetant individuals’. “You must be HIV positive before you can develop AIDS”. There are four stages of HIV. The progression from stage one through to stage four can range

from two to twenty years. However “it is important to bear in mind that not everyone infected with HIV will develop AIDS”. He estimates that about 15% of those infected fall into this ‘longterm non-progressive’ category. The four stages include (1) Infection (2) Asymptomatic phase (3) Symptomatic phase and finally (4) AIDS. It is important to bear in mind that following infection it can take anywhere between 45 days and 6 months before the test results can be considered conclusive. This “window period” is required for the body to produce antibodies to the virus, which can subsequently be detected by the common HIV testing methods. This is an important factor people must realise “getting a STI screen two days after unprotected sex will not definitively rule out HIV”. This is why follow up testing should be done at least three months “post exposure”. Since 1987, the consultant revealed that those living in developed countries have access to a number of drugs which help treat the HIV infec-


tion and delay the progression to AIDS. Some of these drugs are specifically targeted at the virus itself, while others aim to treat the opportunistic infections which HIV positive people are susceptible to. Some of the major advances that have been made include drugs which inhibit the virus from reproducing itself, thereby slowing down its rate of infection of other cells in the body. Furthermore, a new anti-viral drug has been developed which prevents the HIV from attaching to the human DNA, thereby preventing access to the nutrients and energy required to replicate. As HIV is made up of RNA genetic material it needs to become DNA genetic material to reproduce. These anti viral drugs block two HIV enzymes called reverse transcriptase (RT) and protease from changing the genetic make-up of HIV, in order to reproduce itself in the human body. In addition a new anti-viral drug prevents the HIV attaching to human DNA. Many HIV patients are taking several drugs in

combination, a regime known as HAART (Highly active antiretroviral treatment). When successful, these “cocktail therapies” can reduce the level of HIV in the bloodstream to very low levels, sometimes even allowing the immune cells in the body to “rebound to normal”. He concluded by noting that the introduction of effective new treatments has meant that many HIV infected people are living healthier lives for longer periods of time. He intoned however that “not everyone responds well to treatment and the side effects for some can be arduous to endure”. What started out as little known about virus which infected primates, this resilient organism crossed the species barrier to become an epidemic with over 25 million infected people worldwide. It is imperative that we all take adequate precautions to safeguard our health, and this means practicing safer sex. It is only through raised awareness and less risky behavior; coupled with the ongoing advances in HIV treatment can we hope to beat this “global pandemic”.



College Tribune | November 25th 2008

Features News

Change he believed in Barack Obama oozed cinematic appeal throughout his campaign, Karina Bracken meets Gary Katz, the man who helped make him look so good as Director of Photography for the President-Elects Campaign videos. “Obama and I used to work out at the same gym, where I would chat to the guy regularly. Now, I need to have Secret Service officials escort me if I want to ask him a question. I have asked if is there any jobs going to the White House. I am still waiting to hear from them.” For a man who has been heavily involved in the making of history during the last two years, Gary Katz is a relaxed man. He may have shot Obama’s campaign videos, but Katz shows up to the Clinton Institute for a talk attired in black shirt and jeans. The sunglasses are the only give away that he is not from around these here parts. “This is about as dressed up as you’ll ever see me” Katz laughs. A native New Yorker, Katz completed his MA in Fine Art and Film Studies. He is a cinematographer who spends his time between the US, Mexico and South Wicklow. Katz has worked with celebrities on advertisements for companies such as Nike, Budweiser and Coors. Katz is clearly passionate about his work, and it helps he adds, that “Director of Photography is the best job. I get paid to fly to New York or go scouting for locations to shoot. It’s great because I never have to lift anything heavy.” Katz was hired by AKPD Media, owned by David Axelrod, Obama’s campaign manager. He originally shot

a number of two minute “spots” during Barrack Obama's campaign to become Senator. When Obama was successful, Katz recalls asking Axelrod if Obama would run for president soon. “We're at least 12 years out.” Axelrod replied. While some might hope that behind Obama’s naturalness and warmth is diva in disguise, Katz has nothing but praise for Obama. Having spent hours filming him, Katz was privy to a real insight into the man who will be the next president of America. “Obama is the smartest guys I have ever met. Like every politician, he read off prompter but there was never any eye track. He's the best I've ever seen. Also, Obama was never afraid to question what he was saying. He constantly made sure that he was “on message”. He scrutinizes everything and would even change the script if needs be. I have seen other candidates ask ‘Can we really say that?’ and complying fully with the answer: ‘Yes, yes you can.’” Katz is clearly stolid in his belief that Obama will be good for America "Throughout his campaign, he demonstrated great leadership. Our country needs leadership." Katz adds that the courage of Obama never failed to amaze him. “When we shot the thirty minute infomercial that was to go out

on CBS, NBC, Fox and CNBC, all we could get was ninety minutes of Obama's time. He was just about to fly out to Hawaii to see his grandmother who was dying at that time.” Does Katz think that the tactics of

the Bush Administration, Colin Powell, endorsed Obama on national TV. When Powell was asked about the allegations that Obama was a Muslim, he answered ‘Obama is not a Muslim, but so what if he is?’ This was a great thing for him to say. Powell then said: ‘Isn't that what this country stands for?’ And I agree with that 100%.” Was Katz ever afraid that there would be an assassination attempt on Obama? “Do you know, it only really struck me one day when I was filming Obama, I looked up and I thought ‘Hey, my head is always right in line with his’. So if there ever was an attempt, they would get me first!” This begs the question, what was the Secret Service really like? “Well, let me tell you, I am the most vetted man in America. Every time I needed clearance I had to provide my D.O.B and my National Security number. I was always afraid that something would turn up. Like an unpaid parking ticket or a bench warrant for my arrest. I constantly feared turning up for work and being thrown in jail.” “The Secret Service guys were amazing. Whenever we shot on location there would be a “lockdown” during which no one was allowed in

Obama is the smartest guys I have ever met. Like every politician, he read off prompter but there was never any eye track. He's the best I've ever seen. the Republican Party during the campaign, such as spreading rumors, were underhand? ”Well John McCain never did it. But certain parties acting under the auspices of the Republican Party did. Obama is like Teflon - nothing ever stuck. The great thing about him is that he remained positive and stuck to his message. He never got down 'n' dirty or engaged in mudslinging with the Republicans.” ”I thought it was great moment when former Secretary of State for

or if you left you could not return. Buildings, rooms and even my camera equipment had to be swept down. There was never allowed to be a line of sight to Obama’s head. Windows had to be blackened and then we had to place lights in front of them to give the appearance of daylight.” Was there any defining moments for Katz’s during Obama’s campaign? “One time we shut down this whole main street in a large town in Southern Indiana. I think that was when I really realized that this was something special. The entire area, including shops and side streets were swept. There were snipers on the roofs of the buildings. No line of sight was allowed. Suddenly Obama just walks towards the larges crowds of people cordoned off at the end of the street and starts shaking hands. And I’m thinking, “God, now that’s probably a breach of security” ” Finally, I ask Katz, did it ever feel like a surreal experience working on Obama’s campaign? “No, not really. I just feel proud that I got to be involved in the making of history; that my images helped to make Obama look good. Now, filming the infomercial in a 600,000 square foot mansion where the owner comes to greet you in white silk pyjamas with a flurry of little Maltese dogs at her heels, that was surreal.”

vv College Tribune | November 25th 2008

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College Tribune | November 25th 2008

Features News

A hidden history of UCD Part three: Go ahead punk, make my day Sam McGrath reveals a little know tragedy that changed the face of Irish music, and took place on the steps of our very own restaurant... Sitting upstairs in the main canteen in Belfield today, it’s hard to imagine it as the scene of an event that altered the Irish music industry forever. In the summer of 1977, Belfield Canteen was host to Ireland’s first ever-Punk Festival. During the gig, a fight broke out in which an eighteen year old man was stabbed to death. The concert, billed as the ‘Belfield Festival’, saw the cream of the crop of Ireland’s emerging punk and new wave talent. Headlining were The Radiators from Space, a Dublin-based punk band fronted by Philip Chevron who later became lead guitarist with The Pogues. Their debut single Television Screen, released in April of that year made history by becoming the first punk single to make the Top Twenty anywhere in the world. Next on the bill were Derry’s power-pop Punk legends; The Undertones who released their classic hit Teenage Kicks a few months after the gig. Supporting were The Vipers, a Dublin punk and rhythm and blues who had supported The Clash in their second Irish visit. Brian Foley, the band’s bassist later joined Paul Cleary’s power pop, mod influenced Dublin group, The Blades. The next band on the line-up was Revolver, a prominent group on the late 1970s Dublin Punk scene. Their first demo, Bombscare Thoroughfare, was recorded in “a shopping centre in Crumlin”. Completing the line-up was The Gamblers, a group whose main claim to fame was that U2 supported them in The Project Arts Centre in May 1978. According to Mark Perry, music journalist and founder of the UK’s first punk fanzine Sniffin’ Glue; “the show attracted over 600 fans – an unprecedented figure”. The Irish Times put the figure at closer to 800. Perry describes that ten minutes after the first band had started; a scuffle broke out in front of the stage, which, according to the Irish Times involved “about eight or nine people”. Michael Bradley, bassist from The Undertones, recalls that the fight was “over very quickly and the band played on”. Suddenly though, as Perry describes, “the news crawled out on all fours – somebody (had) been stabbed”. An ambulance was called which brought the injured man away. The show continued, albeit with a tenser atmosphere. Shortly before The Radiators from Space was due on stage, their guitarist was surrounded by four bouncers and bundled into the dressing room. Ru-

mours- abounded that guy who was 1968 The Year of the Barricades. stabbed was inarea arrested pretty bad way 1,000 students in Warandafter someone hadprotests. got the wrong saw anti-state The Uniimpression that isPete Holidai versity of Rome occupied forfrom two The Radiators had demonstrations. been involved weeks after anti-war in the students fight. After Three are“rough killed questionin Brazil ing”, he was allowed go on stage during marches againsttothe military with the band. people are injured junta. Eighty-six “I think that‘Battle was theoffiGrosvenor rst murder in the anti-war at a rockingigLondon. in the British Isles,” reSquare’ Martin Luther calls Irish singer Gavin Friday, King’s assassination sparks riotsthen in a member of punk group Virgin 118 American cities. InThe Chicago, Prunesand “But you know police protesters clashthe forwhole eight thing outside often teetered on the edge days the Democratic Naof violence. It gotStudents a bit fucked up tional Convention. take on in thetanks later inyears. At France some of the Soviet Prague. sees a gigs inrevolution Dublin you’d haveten people social with over milgoing crazy and in the crowd. mean lion workers students onI strike. theUCD, moshing andthe all spark that nowadays In we see of moveis chicken-piss compared to then. ment. It UCD was quite violent. Ineld town you’d purchased Belfi House in often get the shitand beaten out of1948 you December 1933 between because were of a punk. With The adjoining propand 1958 you a number Virginwith Prunes we’d goofallcreating out and erties the interest a wearcampus bondage trousers, make-up new Earlsfort Terrace were

and dresses - and get to killed for acquired. This waswe’d mainly reduce it. But the more whacks on the head the chronic over-crowding existent weEarlsfort got, the Terrace. more adventurous we in UCD’s student got. I mean, getting on the 19 little bus population had expanded from in Ballymun, dressed like we were, over 2,000 in 1939 to over 10,000 in you did getof some abuse.” 1969. Most these were in the halfDuringEarlsfort their set, the police arcompleted Terrace building, rived, even stationed cersfinished, at all exits which had itoffi been was of the canteen prevented only intended forand 1,000 students. the band an concerns encore. Itwere was As from earlyplaying as 1963, almostover threethe o’clock in the morning. raised planning of the move NoBelfi oneeld. in the to Thecrowd Irish was Timesallowed wrote to leave identifi cathat “thewithout prospectshowing of finding lodging tionstudents and getting searched. for (was) causing more and Theconcern five bands more ...The were area isall notforced one in into one dressing they which students willroom easilywhere find places gave written this to stay, since statements. most of theAt houses point,are word had gone around that there designed as family homes.’’ the victimbuilding was in awent critical condition However ahead and in in St. Vincent’s Hospital. Around an 1964 Science became the first fachourtolater newsto spread thatThe the Irish boy ulty relocate Belfield. had died; the police Times described theirfinally new allowed facilities the“severely band’s tofunctional” leave at 6.30am that as with “clean morning. spaciousness and a clever planning, Coultry, an eighteen year usePatrick of colour, relieving the eye of

old from Cabra in North Dublin suffered two stab wounds during the fracas. The boy who killed him was only seventeen and said in court where he was charged with manslaughter that he “panicked during the row as he felt he was going to get beat up”. He also admitted that he had drunk excessively that evening. The killing had an immediate effect on the music industry in Ireland. John Fisher, gig promoter at the time, remembers that before the stabbing, “gigs in Ireland were pretty simple affairs, really. They were run mostly by enthusiastic amateurs with very little security … after Belfield, it became more regulated, more professional and safer”. After the Punk Festival, the college authorities banned all gigs in Belfield for weeks after. This directly affected the Students Union who lost a much-needed income. The

Radiators from Space found their gigs cancelled by promoters all over the country. The tabloid press wrote sensational, often fabricated stories on the inherent violent nature of punk rock. For the musicians it proved to be long lasting emotional event as members of The Radiators from Space refused to talk about the night for years after and The Undertones, traumatised by the incident, didn’t play a gig outside the six counties for over eighteen months. As a result, music promoters found it much more difficult to organise gigs with the increased expenses of extra security and the personal insurance premiums. It was a tragic night that was formative in changing the face of the Irish music industry forever, just how many students sipping their coffee in the canteen know this? It’s true hidden history.

College Tribune | November 25th 2008




On 365 Evenings in Roma...

Karina Bracken experiences all the highs and lows on offer after a year in the Eternal city Erasmus. The best of times, the worst of times. It’s having the Colosseum as your bus stop. It’s being mistaken for a prostitute while waiting for said night bus at four in the morning. There is something in the air in Rome that heightens every sensation. It was the most alive I’ve ever felt, and simultaneously the most pissed off I’ve ever been. Living there meant that I had to forget the twenty-one years of manners that I had learnt. Crossing the road meant taking your life in your hands, charging past bewildered tourists tottering on the edge of the pavement and suffering windburn from the proximity of the Vespas that whizzed by you. Closing your eyes and praying to the nearby Vatican seemed the popular option. Public transport, in the form of the Metro, has its own particular etiquette. Whether it’s busy or not, whether there are grandmothers or children, they will push. Italians have no shame when it comes to staring. That’s when their eyes aren’t shielded with sunglasses. Even underground. Or at night. The Metro, as did the various piazzas and historical monuments of Rome, presented great opportunities for knacker drinking. There’s no CCTV and besides, for the half the year I was there alcohol consumption wasn’t even against the law. If you were lucky enough, there was always the haunting musical styling of the Romanian gypsies’ and their accordions. The dome of St. Peter’s could be seen from the rooftop of our apartment and we lived ten minutes from the Centro Storico, which housed the Roman Forums, the marvellously

tacky Vittoriano and the Palatinee d. Hill upon which Rome was founded. During one early morning wander I saw a pink sun rise over bridge off angels and St. Peters Square. Onee evening I witnessed the orangee dusk setting over Rome from the city’s highest point. We saw the Sistine chapel emptied of people after being the last to be ushered out. I watched a lightning storm from the top of the Spanish steps and sat drinking espresso at 5am at a deserted Trevi fountain. One needn’t have worried about a culture overload either. Two Erasmus organisations competed for our attention with teneuro all-you-can-drink parties. The cheapest bottle of wine in our local supermarket was €1.59. For Halloween, we made twenty litres of Sangria for under €25. The lure of cheap train fares was hard to resist. In war-torn Naples we stayed in a hostel called Giovanni’s Home. It actually was Giovanni’s home. Thank God Giovanni was a legend and not a sleazy old man, we mused as we drank the complementary bottle of red wine on the candle lit roof ced terrace. The next day we experienced ngs near-death as we traversed the throngs at the famous Christmas markets. Sitting in a quaint pizzeria on the sea front we ate Caprese in the birthplace of the pizza. The adage being true that the dirtier the restaurant in Italy - the better the pizza. In Florence, we drank hot chocolate from a roof terrace with a magnificent view of the duomo. As the rain

The adage is true. The dirtier the restaurant in Italy - the better the pizza.

poured down and the wind overturned our umbrellas, we shunned the minimum forty-five minute wait for all the major attractions and opted instead for marvelling at how dry Zara was. Out of a dozen Irish pubs in Rome, we found the best one -

Sch Scholar’s. It was run by a Wexfor man and showed GAA on ford Sun Sundays. You could get that staple of the Irish student diet – the chic chicken fillet baguette. I spent so mu time and money in Scholar’s, much ev I eventually got a job there. So I cou spend more time and money could ther Among other Irish, Scottish, there. Engl English, American and French who wor worked there were two Swedish girls who spoke better English than did I did. Th Those of us from UCD actually began to forget English words. We spok Italian but not fluently, which spoke mean the stumbling in our native means langu language was probably caused by slight brain damage due to the quantities of cheap alcohol that we consumed sumed. The main reason we were there was, of course, to study. I went throug the History of Art departthrough ment - so I figured that since there was mu of it in Rome, I was learnso much ing by just walking around. Lectures t were two hours long and in Italian. Usuall they were overcrowded, so Usually res we resorted to bringing cushions to t ease the numb ass syndrome when we sat on the floor. Our Erasmus coordina ordinator was an angry woman who ignore us during the year and then ignored shoute at us during the oral exams shouted when we hadn’t read the book that we didn’t know we were supposed to read. Needless to say, my attendance at lectures in the second semester was non-existent. Somehow I passed, due in part to the extra credits that appeared magically on my transcript. God bless Italian bureaucracy. Erasmus is a travel opportunity not to be missed.

College Tribune | November 25th 2008

Regulars News








door open for you?” They have their own version of being cruel. “You’re pissing me off so I’m going to ignore that date we were meant to have.” What is most important to remember at the end of the day is the extra being that exists within a man- yes, his ego. It’s big, it’s bold… and it’s delicate. With this, extreme care is needed. Protestations not to care are simply protestations, and if you start comparing them to an ex you can potentially crush the ego for life, at which point they will certainly retreat into recovery zone where they will lick their wounds, and in comparison to a woman going out on the town, they will “go out with the lads” and meet some “buzzer” which translates to moping over a pint and going home early. They are readable, and despite our frequent misgivings, a big part of our lives. Their most fatal flaw? A tendency to forget exactly how lucky they have it. Pay heed, scurrilous species, these are words of wisdom.



Next issue, you can hit back with a random review of women, but for now, get used to the fact that this is a random review on the curious male species. Complicated in their simplicity, cold-hearted in their own warm way, this is one of the most contradictory species that ever was. God in his infinite wisdom created this being first, obviously because it took a lot longer to programme the ways of a man. They are the ultimate mystery of a conundrum, the most enigmatic riddle of a puzzle. Of course, all of the above is absolutely tripe. Men are fundamentally simple. They don’t think with their brain, and they like their messy space where they “know where everything is”. This is not to say they don’t operate in mysterious ways, they do. One whisper of the word commitment and cue mass scarpering for the hills. Say the words no-strings fun and all of a sudden you’re the one. They have their own version of what it is to be kind. “I told you that you looked well yesterday” or “Remember that time I held the






PALIN TURNS TO PORN FOLLOWING ELECTION DISASTER The Political Pitbull herself as made the much awaited leap from politics to pornography. Following her single handed sabotage of presidential hopeful John McCain’s campaign the Alaskan bombshell has decided to make a career move. Her debut release, “Oval Orifice Confessions”, is due for release on the 19th of December and in a press conference given over the weekend Palin had this to say; “Hey I know it’s a quick career change, but ye gotta strike while the irons hot and I’m so hot right now. It’s a straight to DVD job, so it’s gonna be out for Christmas, for the kids.” At this point the Pitbull began winking furiously. Having seen an advance copy of the DVD, The Turbine can conclude that “Oval Orifice Confessions” is a jolly good romp. While the plot is somewhat shaky, the production quality is spectacular. One need not wonder were all the money for the Republicans campaign went now. We join the action soon after John McCain’s death which has resulted in Palin being raised to the position of President. From there on she proceeds to “make whoopy” with Bill Clinton, Joe Biden, Barack O’Bama (all look-alikes, except of course for Bill) and even has

phone sex with Dmitry Medvedev on the red telephone, which also doubles as a dildo. This announcement has sparked controversy in the porn star’s home town of Wasilla. A town, which up until recently had outlawed pornography and contraception. But following the hometown girls recent choice of career the small town has become a hotbed of prostitution and drugs. The locals seem somewhat unhappy. One local who went by the name Cletus Slopbucket had this to say “Dangna-

bit, I’m so dang pissed about what that slut did to our town. This used to be a nice quiet town but now, there’s hookers everywhere and they are really expensive too, its not fair!” The Pitbull declined to comment on the topic of her hometown but The Turbine can only assume that the announcement of the legalization of condoms will be greeted by her and her family, especially her eldest daughter who at last count had 16 illegitimate children. While “Oval Office Confessions” is all set for release, Palin is

not waiting around and has already begun shooting her next project. The working title for the next DVD is “Erection ’08: When Hillary Pulled Out” and features an all female cast. Palin had this to say regarding the new project; “Ooh my, it really is fun working with girls, it doesn’t hurt as much as with the guys. I couldn’t sit down for a week after that O’Bama look-alike threw me a length.” While there is a Hillary look-alike in the new film Bill himself has a cameo in which he drops the look-alike over to Palin’s house (The White House) for a pillow fight. Hillary was unavailable for comment regarding her inclusion in the latest project and also her husbands involvement. However the word on Capital Hill is that Hillary is waiting to hear what job O’Bama gives her before making a decision regarding her career. Former President Bill Clinton made this comment “I’m sick of politics I want to have sex on video, Hillary doesn’t seem to want do that at the moment which is why I feature in Sarah’s movies.” The rumours that a film in which the Clinton’s double team Monica Lewinsky is in the works is deemed to be “nothing more than rumour”, but heres hoping.

"No, no longer means no" The Referendum Commission today announced that it will be introducing new ballot papers for any rerun of the Lisbon Treaty. There new ballot papers will feature the tradition "yes" and "no" as well as a third choice of "no ;-)". Spokesman, Patrick J Patterson, of the Referendum Commission had this to say, "well like its totally for the kids like, emoticons are like their language. And everyone knows kids aren't interested in politics, like," the new system will work under the basis that the total number of "no" votes must exceed the total of other

answers. The "No" choice will also be located on the back of the ballot with the two other choices on the front. Failure to mark the No box with an X will be accepted as a "no ;-)" vote. Spokeswoman for the Department of the Taoiseach, Amanda Fhabulous, stated, "all the gobshite's pinkos and ra-heads can vote no if they want but they'll have to work for it". Chiming in Gary Redmond, UCDSU entertainments vice president, had this to say, "i'm used to people saying no and not really meaning it, if you know what i mean. No ;-), all the way.

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College Tribune | November 25th 2008



Basketball UCD demolish DCU Page 24

Superleague The beautiful game just got ugly Page 22


Don’t believe the hype After a rather unremarkable Autumn series, Ben McCormack explores apparent lack of heart displayed boy the men in green shirts, while those men in red continue to amaze us What can one say about the Autumn internationals? The hope that was erected when twice Heineken Cup winning coach Declan Kidney was announced as national head coach seems to have been lost in two disappointing games and one try out game. After the dark days of Eddie O’Sullivan things looked good for young players, substitutes and players based abroad, this being confirmed by Kidney’s first selection with a few new faces as well as a large selection of young talent. Everything we’d looked for in a coach and a new style came to fruition in the first test against Canada. An eight try demolition of the world rugby minnows was to be expected but it was a bonus to keep the gritty Canadians scoreless. The subs were all used and the play was expansive and delightful to watch, with Munster’s young fullback getting a try on his debut with his first touch. What happened? Looking back on this series the score will say a 2-1 overall victory for the Irish, but the details will say that the one loss and

the second win left a lot to be desired. The All Blacks are formidable; everyone knows that, even those not that concerned with the sport. So, with that in mind the Irish selectors went safe, going for the tried and tested. David Wallace, as great a player as he is, cannot compete on the ground with the like of Richie McCaw. He is not an out and out open-side flanker, unlike the forgotten Shane Jennings and this was persecuted by the visitors. Ireland held on for 39 minutes until the All Black pressure resulted in Tommy Bowe purposefully denying a McCaw try to send the referee under the sticks for a penalty try and Bowe to the sin bin. That can be construed as bad luck, what wasn’t, however, was leaving a clearly struggling Paul O’Connell on the pitch for nearly 15 minutes after the break. Ten minutes into the second half the game was over after Joe Rokocoko danced round the limping lock to score under the posts. The fact that the set up thought it more prudent to bring off Rory Best is bewildering. The fact that not another

sub was used until it was too late was lunacy. Ireland, both the players and the fans, had convinced themselves that this was the time to beat the most successful team in the world, and did so by trying to pound at the All Blacks. In no area of the field did they look secure; line outs, scrums and rucks all looked dodgy and as likely to give away possession. It can’t be helped but to think that the addition of a lineout specialist like Bob Casey or Malcolm O’Kelly to partner O’Connell or to come of as a sub would have stabilized the ball. Like wise the choice of Girvan “the swervin’” Dempsey at full-back over the attacking Geordan Murphy and Keith Earls is a mystery. But the why is academic, the result is final, and when a team doesn’t attack it doesn’t deserve the points. Ireland never looked like they might really attack, only glimmers of hope from brief line breaks. This can be said of Argentina and the dismal affair that was the final test in this Guinness series. Words cannot describe enough

how bad a game of rugby this was. Ireland may have won the game 17-3 but it was a shallow and hollow victory. However, one good thing did come out of this, mainly the proof that Geordan Murphy is still the best Irish full-back playing today. After the years of spats with O’Sullivan, the veteran took the chance he was given and gave it his all. Though he didn’t get on the score sheet, himself and Tommy Bowe were the main instigators of attack against a rugged and determined Puma defence. Many of the analysis teams have made the point though, that if Argentina had been at full strength with Juan Martin Hernandez and Felipe Contepomi, Ireland would have been in some serious trouble. This team, at the moment, lacks the desire to win. They look lethargic and uncaring, not wanting to play and certainly not wanting to play well. A word that could some up this series for all the northern hemisphere teams this autumn is hype. England were hyped about Martin Johnston and Danny Cipriani, which, this writer

is happy to say, fell completely on its smug little face. Ireland were hyped by Kidney and Wales by Gatland, but one team has lived up to its hype, a second string Munster side. Trying to match the feats of thirty years ago would have been tough against a second All Blacks side which racked up over thirty points against Scotland. But no place does rugby like a fiery Limerick. In an electric game which wowed all who saw it the provincial side came with in two points of defeating the best side in the world. Perhaps it won’t be remembered as long but it will be remembered for a long while, particularly for the fresh caps of Munster. With the outstanding image of four Munster players performing the Haka the stage was set for a wonderful occasion. However, as nerving as that may be, the hits and way that the Munster players put all of their bodies on the line left the Kiwis physically rattled at half-time. Though they couldn’t hold out the winners, Munster came six minutes closer than any other team has this tour to beating the All Blacks.


College Tribune | November 25th 2008

Sport News



Br yan D


Basking in mediocrity

UCD boat club glide to success in Blessington UCD Boat Club once again asserted their prowess last Friday in a number of competitions on the day. The pairing of An-

I been over a month since I Its actually reported on a Supera lleague match so rather than get drawn into a rant about refg eree’s with paedophilic tendene ccies and pitches that are bushier tthan a science student’s special area I elected to check in with a my good friends from Fiorenm ttina Turner. After an impressive win last week over the highly ranked w Your Wife Sucks etc. etc. Y ‘Tina were hoping to con‘ tinue their good run of form t over who they thought were o an a inferior Sporting Lesbeans side. They were wrong. s Billed as a mid table clash, this th truly dismal display of “footballing” prowess by “ both teams could only really b be described as the Arnotts bargain basement of this ba weekend’s action; dull and a w little bit smelly. While ‘Tina lit were we the odds on favourites to climb the proverbial rubbish cli heap he in this tie, an early goal from the Lesbeans and an infro jury to ‘Tina’s goalkeeper had jur the men in blue (‘Tina) scratching their heads. However, it wasn’t long before they equawa lised with a thunderous drive lise from thirty yards. fro Overseen by Bilbo Baggins himself and held on Astro 1, him this game was doomed from the thi get-go. For those of you who get don’t know Astro 1 is where don

thony English and Colm Pierce picked up two pennants on the day winning the senior pairs event and also aiding the senior eight to victory. The club also fielded a student coxed four which placed second in their category and two intermediate eights which placed second and third. Meanwhile The UCD Ladies continued the Boat Club success in the Blessington event as they won the Inter eights Head and came in a very close second in the senior eights competition. Jason Timmons

Fiorentina Turner

Sporting Lesbeans

4 4

scoring records are broken, at only ¾ size many games held here result in a scoreline which resembles a phone number. At times teams are reduced to hoofing the ball from goalkeeper to goalkeeper. It really made for a great spectacle. With ‘Tina narrowly in front at the break with the scores at 3-2 min their favour, it all went tits over arse when they decided to change goalkeepers and it wasn’t long until the Lesbeans racked up two quick goals. The keeper really couldn’t have caught a piece of ass on Parnell Street. He was soon moved from goal to the left wing and managed to make amends with a nice cross on the toe of the his team-mate who slotted home from 3 yards. It ended four all but only just. There we are now a real match report, normal service will resume after the Christmas break.

Dealing with the drop With the 2008 soccer season over for UCD, Colman Hanley reflects on the season with UCD assistant manager Martin Russell. In spite of the disapointment of relegation, UCD ended 2008 on a high with victory in the inaugural ‘A Championship’ final against Bohemians. The feeling of winning a trophy can only help motivate UCD for next years First Division. So after such a success, it was no surprise that Pete Mahon’s right hand man, Martin Russell, was a little bit more upbeat when looking back on the season. “It’s no surprise that winning the A Championship is our high point of the year but especially as it’s the first year of this competition. To win any final is fantastic, but too do so after the massive heartache of relegation shows what strong characters the players are. You’ve got to commend

them as they gave 100% all season. They’re semi-professional players who had to compete against full-time professional’s every week. As a club, we were competing with teams who wereoverspending and doing things they shouldn’t have been doing. That’s something we obviously feel victimised about as we kept things in order when sadly others did not.” “Fielding teams in the Premier Division, ‘A Championship’ and U-20 league meant the young lads got the experience of playing senior football and that’s great for their development. We had eight players who had first team experience playing in the ‘A’ final so that’s something to be really proud of. I’d like to think that

when some of the players are weighing their future’s up, they may stay because of things like that. Football is so unpredicatable as unfortunately you could get a career ending injury

at any time or just simply not make it as a player. Therefore the fundamentals that the college can offer to young players shouldn’t be underestimated or forgotten. To play football

in your country and gain an education to the level that the college offers is a prized asset and it’s definitely something young players should consider. Tony McDonnell is a prime example of things. He was able to play football at the highest level with us for many years. Then when he retired last year, he had a successful career to fall back on.” Russell knows this situation all too well. At 15 years old, he was hailed as one of the most outstanding schoolboy players ever from Ireland and was lucky enough to sign for Manchester United. But despite four years there, Russell was released. Despite spells at Leicester City, Scarborough and Middlesborough, he eventually re-

College Tribune | November 25th 2008



UCD lose out to North Kildare ■ Eoin Byrne


North Kildare

0 1

With the firsts taking a week off, the UCD seconds stepped up against a North Kildare in Division 3. It was a tightly contested match in which the

turned home to Ireland. He would eventually see his career out with a hugely successful spell at Saint Patrick’s Athletic winning two Premier Division medals and star for the Supersaints in the Champions League against Celtic. Let’s hope his previous experience can convince some of the players to stay with UCD for at least another year. In these bleak economic times of the dreaded ‘R’ word, the €20,000 prize money for winning the ‘A Championship’ will be a welcome addition to the already reduced and limited UCD budget. Make no mistake, the money must be re-invested if UCD are to realistically return to competing with the domestic superpowers such as Bohs, Pat’s, Derry and Cork. An issue that Russell really hopes will change next year is the perception and publicity surrounding the league. “It’s been such a hectic year as the talking points have been mainly been in regards to things off the field and not on the field. That’s got to change if the league is to prosper”.

home side battered away at the Kildare goal but were incapable of converting any of their chances. Despite College’s amount of shots on goal, the visitors were the better side showing more control and, ultimately, more prowess in front of goal. While UCD peppered the goal for the first twenty minutes, Kildare’s patience was rewarded just before the half hour mark with a thunderous smash. From there, UCD began to crawl back into the game, but half time came to soon for the students who came very close on a number of occasions just before the break. As the second half dawned UCD’s ferocity in front of goal seemed to have diminished somewhat, while they held possession in Kildare’s half for periods of time they failed to create any real chances. As time ticked on the home side became more desperate for a goal and thus risked a counter attack from Kildare. The Students’ Keeper certainly kept College in the game, while the majority of players seemed content to attack though they neglected their duties at the back leaving their goal exposed. To say the game was played in a good spirit would be a downright lie. One particular incident involving a cynical foul on the part of Kildare stopped the game for nearly ten minutes. The opposition player took a vicious swipe and one of the students, with madness and anger ensuing. Coupled with the fact that Kildare were awarded 3 penalties, none of which were converted, the final ten minutes made the game seem disjointed and aggressive. Overall, a disappointing result for North Kildare, who, had it not been for some remarkable saves from the College keeper would have certainly thrashed the home side.

Russell couldn’t have put it any better. There is an urgent need in Irish soccer for some financial stability. Common sense must be shown by clubs when dealing with their finances and a little leadership from the higher echelons of Irish football wouldn’t go amiss either. People don’t want to be hearing of clubs having to go into liquidation or of players not being paid or taking pay-cuts. Headlines like these only serve to scare away any newcomers to Irish football, that’s the last thing Irish football needs right now. From a UCD perspective, the reality is that the club is likely to never have to deal with such financial issues. A budget is set and is always strictly adhered to so that UCD will never pay exorbitant and ridiculously inflated wages (well at least to their football players anyway). With no major financial concerns, the attention can be focused on the 2009 First Division. With a bit of luck, 2009 will be better for both the league and for the students. Let’s hope so anyway.

Holy Mary, Mother of College New Ladies Hockey coach Mary Logue recently lead UCD to the Chilean Cup victory in the Intervarsities over reigning champions UCC, Jordan Daly caught up with her to discuss her new position The former Ladies Hockey Captain of Ireland and in Hermes player began coaching College back in May. After being asked earlier and finding the timing unsuitable she took the post after being approached in late April. “I’m really enjoying the job. I was looking forward to it and I’m getting a great buzz out of coaching. It’s a fantastic squad and they really work hard.” The great facilities in UCD, that Logue is not quite fully aware of, are part of her recipe for success. “We have been served very successfully by the high performance centre in UCD and the players really improve conditioning and strength. “I was really interested in coaching UCD because of my time playing for UCC as a student. I think college hockey is really important and having a side in the Leinster Division 1 is brilliant. There are so many exceptional players available to a university team, it’s a very positive thing for hockey and you can see this in the calibre of the College side.” Logue clearly finds the role of university Hockey a crucial one. She has been joined this season by Ireland under-18 goalkeeper Stella Davis and former Wesley College teammate Leigh Pelow, with Liz McInerney arriving from Hermes, Julie Garvey from Three Rock and Laura Wilson from Belfast Harlequins. UCD had a steady season last time around, finishing fifth. “I coached the Ireland U18 girls but

this is my first club side so it is a new departure for me. There are a couple of players I had coached at U18 level. There are also two senior Ireland players. Roisin Flynn is away until Christmas and her return will strengthen the team further. Lisa Jacob is the other and I played with her a Hermes but didn’t coach her.” As new Coach her first challenge was to get her team tighter at the back, thus improving results “The key issue was defensive record. Our goals conceded were negating our sterling scoring record so that we scored 29 in a season but gave 24 away. This season we have a new system. The defensive unit works together to cover our vulnerabilities. I love attacking Hockey but you can’t put everyone up in attack. It’s about risk and reward. If you take too many risks you leave yourself vulnerable and your rewards won’t be great enough.” With so many local schools producing talent near UCD, the club has a great pool to recruit from “It’s important to target players who will do their leaving certificate next year and get them into college. That comes down to the club itself and players encouraging younger girls to get involved. “It would be great to see more at the games. I think if more students not from the hockey community came to watch we could get more interested in playing and getting involved in the club.” Like other clubs in UCD, at-

tendance at games does not match up with other community-based clubs, despite the facilities and population in Belfield. The performance this season so far is a testament to the great work Logue is doing in preparing players for games. “This week we played Railway Union. We lost one nil to the league leaders who put away a penalty stroke. On Saturday we got a great result against Hermes; A nil all draw against last year’s Irish League Champions” “At the moment we are where we want to finish this year, in the top four, as this would automatically see us into the Irish Hockey League. UCD got into it last year, its first year, through a wild-card play-off. It’s really important that we get into this so we retain players that would go elsewhere otherwise.” The IHL, which replaces the current Club Championships, sees the top twelve teams in the country competing over five weekends before culminating into a televised finals weekend on the May bank holiday weekend. Logue comes across as an optimist, with a real drive and ambition which will hopefully spread throughout the camp this season. “What I’m looking to do as a coach is to be the kind of coach I would have liked as a player. I think it’s about instilling belief in people. The talent is there and I think it’s just about believing.” Logue’s motto then can be; success breeds success.

Irish Rugby Where has the heart gone?


Page 20

UCD Soccer What’s next for the students? Page 22

Issue 6 | Volume 22 | 25th November 2008 ■ Monika Hrda/

Southsiders reign supreme ■ Jordan Daly On fire, Marian notched up their sixth win out of eight on Sunday. They looked at ease away from home as they confidently sunk over ten three pointers and with five minutes left had worked up an impressive 29 point cushion. Long range hot shot and U20s star Conor James was very confident of his team,“We played really well to keep their offense from working up scores, they were nearly thirty points behind. If we play this well all season we can beat anyone.” Injured Peter Finn missed out on the away victory glory, “They lost their two big men Micheal Trimmer and Martins Provizors for today’s game and the rest of their squad really had to step up. If the tables wereturned we would struggle too as David Ryan and Luke

DCU Saints

UCD Marian

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McCrone are essential to our offensive game. DCU just couldn’t match us without their fire power today.” “We pulled away in the first quarter by ten points with Conor Meaney shooting really well from long range and the closest they came was six points behind in the second.” Top scorer Luke McCrone gave credit to his opposition, “Saints played well for the panel they had to work, they really missed the big men. They had to go to the zone a lot and this was effective in the first half but then our three point shooting loosened up and they fell behind.”

“The first three quarters weren’t easy, they fought a tough game even though the fourth got away from them. The result was one of our best, especially on paper, but it was hard work”. Irish-American Ryan was unstoppable as usual and started the scoring with a three huge pointer. Fellow American Micheal Parker joined in the onslaught with a fade way jump shot. Meaney was devastating from outside and heard the swish of a three pointer on several occasions in the first quarter. The only retort came from an on form Michael Chubb who got three and Eoin Darling who got five points in first period. The away side had pulled away 23-12 with a lead they never once lost. Saints were better in the second quarter and defended well with James Donnelly checking Barry

Drumm, and preventing scores once again when Conor James was lining up a basket basket. Emmet Donnelly failed to convert free throws however and with the powerful. McCrone causing havoc on the baskets DCU were unable to catch the south siders. Parker continued his scoring spree with ten in total in the first half while James was feisty on rebounds to get on the score sheet. Eight points separated the rivals at half time. Darling started aggressively for Saints with a brace of two pointers early and Ryan retaliated with a powerful drive inside. Meaney got his fourth three pointer minutes later and the Donnelly’s were missing the spot throws again. Without their two big men DCU struggled. James and McCrone were prolific in the third James with back to back threes and McCrone with his thirteenth point of the game, a signature spin and fade

shot. 42-62 and UCD were in control. The final final quarter was easy as the hard work of earlier allowed them to relax and even attempt lay-ups and spectacular dunks. McCrone got nineteen points as he took over Ryan’s usual spot as the top scorer and Drumm was steady handed to execute perfect free throws. Frustration bubbled over to off the ball fouls by DCU and they lost the head completely at the end. Darling and Lacey kept tacking away but Dave Donnelly unwisely picked a fight with Ryan and kept hurling brave insults as he backed away swiftly. The James brothers, on a high from their U20 victory over QUB finished the game with a flourish of three pointers. UCD Marian travel to Cork next weekend for the more challenging tie against South Conference leaders UCC Demons.








n e r i S the

College Tribune Arts & Culture Supplement | 25.11.08

Siren MUSIC the


College Tribune | November 25th 2008

Space age sounds


★★★★★ Day & Age is the latest album from the Las Vegas-based four-piece, containing eleven brand spanking new tracks. In keeping with their vow not to become stagnant, the record contains quite adventurous material and offers a pretty different sound to their previous releases, varying from instrumental rock to dance songs. With its diverse array of catchy anthemic music, it features some great moments. The album’ss producer is Stuart Price, known for his work with Madonna and Missy Elliot, and his influence is obvious. With soaring vocals, often bizarre lyrics and assorted experimental sounds – such as the debatable use of steel drums – it’s hard to categorize Day & Age. However, if we must, it’s up-tempo beats, techno vibes and anthemic choruses, leaning more toward

the pop-rock of Hot Fuss than the subtlety of Sam’s Town. Each song offers something slightly different and will undoubtedly have the listener thinking ‘what on earth makes that noise?’ Even so, it works excellently and, despite a definite distancing from their other stuff, it sounds just like the Killers but with a little space-age twist. The opener, Losing Touch, will have you right back into the habit of Killers worship with a funky instrumental introduction before being cut by Flowers’ hypnotising soft vocals. It’s a fun and up-tempo, if slightly ominous, song due to an interesting mix of grim lyrics, dazzling horn swells and chunky guitar riffs. A subsequent song, Spaceman, is destined to be a hit; a dazzling unabashed glam-rock number which is reminiscent but not necessarily simi-


with steel drums and saxophone, inevitably elicits a yearning for the sun and sand of Jamaica. Although its originality is definitely stirring, and it’s always nice to hear something different from the samey pop anthems of today, the track does not merit the praise Flowers gave it when he opined that it “could be the most perfect pop song we’ve ever written”. Flowers has described Day & Age as a continuation of Sam’s Town, but


such a way so that it could be presented as one whole track, but nonetheless it does develop in a definite – though subtle – way. Motion To Rejoin is a terrific album to drift off to or take it easy on a Sunday morning with, and it is this that holds it back more so than the musical content. Invest for the folk chill-out factor; it’ll clear that hangover. EOIN BOYLE


Psapp are a electronic/experimental duo comprising of Carim Clasmann and Galia Durant. The pair’s third release, The Camel’s Back offers little in the way of new material as opposed to the freshness of their earlier work. Much of their music is characterised by annoying ditties that, in the end, don’t add up to anything substantial. Psapp garnered moderate praise in their previous albums for experimenting with different instruments, and here they have used flowing water to get different effects – but in the end it all sounds too confused and conflicting. There are some upsides however. The Monster Song is pop at its best, and one of the few occasions when this album seems to rise above mediocrity. Likewise, Mister Ant is the only song on The Camel’s Back that seems to have any urgency about it,

more like “looking at Sam’s Town from Mars.” After hearing the questionable lyrics of the debut single – which are apparently inspired by a comment made by Hunter S. Thompson about how America was raising a generation of dancers. Really? – you could be forgiven for asking where it all went so wrong. Nonetheless, with a little patience, their new music will almost certainly grow on you. CATHY BUCKMASTER



MOTION TO REJOICE SCORE: 3 out of 5 Stars Motion To Rejoin is a fantastic chill-out album; it warms up from the opening minute long track and continues to warm up right through to the end of the ninth and final song on the record. The album covers very little ground, preferring never to venture too far from the source, but this is not to say that it is in any way boring and not intriguing. The music is solid and the songs are all strong – it’s a thoroughly engrossing listen. The fact that the album neglects to really move forward or change direction actually doesn’t detract from the effect of the record. It runs together smoothly and keeps you enthralled with the deep sounds and interesting layers in the arrangements of the tracks; it is true that Brightblack Morning Light have put Motion To Rejoin together in

lar to Mr. Brightside. Flowers’ voice strains higher and quicker than it has before. The lyrics are somewhat peculiar, but who cares when the melody is so catchy, fast-paced and ultimately feel-good. Not wanting to put all their eggs in the one basket, the foursome stray away from the dancey, glam-rock tunes for one of the best tracks on the album; A Dustland Fairy Tale. Placed right in the middle of the track list, it severs the mood gently with a tender opening of melodic soft music and Flowers’ thought provoking lyrics. Despite this sweet beginning it soon picks up, with heavy guitars and energy creating a passionate listen. Another memorable tune is the hazy, lazy and tropically influenced, I Can’t Stay. The exotic sound, fashioned


and benefits accordingly. One track that stands out is Screws, a simple song with nothing but a piano in it – providing a welcome relief from the frazzled nature of the album. On the whole, The Camel’s Back is a disappointing record from a group that don’t seem to be able to make their mind up over what they want to be; an innovative group that uses different sounds to great effect, or just two people plodding along, happy to be seen as quirky if not exactly innovative. BRIAN MAHON


Against all the odds, the followup to Use Your Illusion I And II – no self-respecting GN’R fan seriously considers The Spaghetti Incident? a proper album – is finally here. 17 years since their last release of original studio material. 13 years in production. Numerous personnel changes. Legal issues with the Geffen Records. Seemingly endless delays. What a waste of time. The record is a bloated mishmash of self-indulgent tripe which epitomises Axl Rose’s approach at this point. His juvenile lyrics, with a repetitive and consistently unimaginative rhyming scheme, could singlehandedly wreck the album on their own. Chinese Democracy is irredeemably shallow – it is abundantly clear that Axl cannot hit the heights of GN’R’s old material without those who helped him make such great music; namely Izzy, Duff, and Slash. There is no question that the

potential is there; aside from the over-production and lack of any catchy hooks whatsoever, there are some decent vignettes here and there – the title track and Better could have made the songlist of some future Guns N’ Roses ‘Best of’ – were it not for the fact that they too convey the feeling that they were written by some sort of GN’R parody act. To call this a Guns N’ Roses record is an insult – this is an Axl Rose pet project, and therefore suffers from all the same flaws that he does; arrogance, immaturity, pretentiousness and, in the final analysis, an inability to create anything memorable on its own. Abysmal.



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College Tribune | November 25th 2008



Free Biscuits and Party Pop Rock You would be hard-pressed to find a quirkier duo than the fellows who make up alternative pop combo Star Crossed Enemies. Dubliners Brian O’Reilly and Gary White exude a frolicking sense of humour and fun that seeps into their music and, particularly, their live shows. For O’Reilly, the best part of being a musician is “being able to act like kids on stage”. He continues “Some bands are so serious – the day we become serious will be a sad, sad day for both of us!” He similarly reserves disdain for the pretension and hauteur associated with so much of the indie and alternative scene, as comes across when he describes the Star Crossed Enemies sound; “We’re not going to enthrall you with some multi-termed genre involving words like ‘post’ and ‘progressive’. Oh how we despise those words! We’re pop rock really. Songs that music lovers might like, but also very mother-friendly”

Star Crossed Enemies supremos Brian O’Reillys and Gary White talk genres, gigging and lego, with Sebastian Clare Star Crossed Enemies have already turned heads in their brief existence thus far – they formed in August of this year – and have earned plaudits from, amongst others, PhantomFM, who called the pair “extremely talented multi-instrumentalists”. Such praise flatters the pair, but it is gaining compliments from fellow musicians that really pleases them, as O’Reilly explains “One of the best things that’s happened so far is seeing bands, who are getting huge respect and kudos, turning around and taking a genuine interest in us... though we have never played with them, they know us to see and have come to our gigs.” White welcomes the rapid progress that has been made, but is keen to point out that it has not come about overnight “It’s taken so many failed

attempts, mistakes, and just general short-sightedness to get us to where we are and things, I don’t think, have ever really gone better for us in any previous bands.” Despite the fact that their incarnation as Star Crossed Enemies has only been going for a matter of months, a wealth of original music has already been amassed, as White proudly states “We have loads of recordings done at the mo’ and we’ll be releasing material frequently over the next year”. Their debut single is set to be released next month; “Our song Early Days And Centuries is out on December 10th. One can purchase it on and We’re both terrible marketing men – that’s literally all the info we know about it at the moment!” Nonetheless, White


indicates that the pair wish to focus on their live performances rather than their plentiful recorded material. “We will be gigging a lot around the country and abroad next year too, and gigging is the most important – and fun – part. We give away free biscuits at our gigs. We look forward to giving bourbons and pink wafers to different communities” From just a cursory listen it is apparent that these are two individuals who gel incredibly well together – as even their own website states, they would be “absolutely useless without eachother”. O’Reilly elaborates on the working relationship they have, a relationship that allows them to make the most of their combined potential “I’m the simple guy who has a basic idea for a catchy song. In most cases

I have a simple guitar riff and vocal melody, then it’s over to Gary. He’s the music man who makes the song what it is. In come all the instruments, and in comes another tune that will hopefully be pals with people’s ears. When we write we know from looking at each other if we have a good or a bad song. The more excited one of us is, the more excited the other gets and it works perfectly. Like children and lego. We love lego.”

» Star Crossed Enemies play Pravda tomorrow night

» Their debut single, Early Days And Centuries, is out on December 10th



TAILS OF THE LONELY Sometime around 12-18 months ago the great big ‘What’s Hot/ What’s Not’ section in the sky decided folk music was ‘like, so in’ and some of the results - Fleet Foxes, Beach House, our own Fionn Regan - have been magnificent. However, you’ll always get chancers from failing indie bands that’ll jump on any bandwagon that isn’t pointing towards a real job. Oisín Leech was busking on Grafton Street before he formed the short-lived 747’s. On this evidence he should be back busking, behind the Ilac centre, where all the junkies are. This is some of the most sinisterly bland music I’ve come across in a long time with inane chord-progressions and forgettable melodies populating track after indistinguishable track. The one thing the whole singer songwriter shtick needs is decent lyrics and these guys make Johnny Borrell sound like Shakespeare. The following insight from Fallen

is symptomatic; “Love is kinda funny after all/ the higher you go the harder you fall”. Look mum, it rhymes! Then there’s the monstrous, unjustifiable pretension of the whole thing. The album is named after two acoustic tracks that punctuate the beige results of the Lost Brothers’ lyrical exploits. Where is Trails Of The Lonely Part II? We are never informed. It was obviously lost down in a really deep place. The two lads - Oisín and Mark - have also renamed themselves Bosh and Bark which is pretty deep too. Morons. Buy this for your deaf granny for Christmas; it’s as weak as diet piss. DIARMUID LAFFAN


For the preceding four studio albums, Blink-182’s music was characterised by puerile lyrics, insufferably juvenile humour and pretty basic instrumentation. Sure, there was the occasional dip into sensitive and mature song content; Adam’s Song, from Enema Of The State, and Stay Together For The Kids, from Take Off Ure Pants And Jacket, spring to mind. However, these forays – although, at the time, clearly the trio’s best work – were all-too brief, and even they included lyrics that were hardly insightful or edifying, rather involving fairly shallow explorations of their subject matter. Then, five years ago last week, Blink-182 released their self-titled album. Allied with a new logo and image makeover, the record represented a total transformation in the group’s sound, style and outlook. From being emblematic of the disposable punk-pop genre, indeed arguably its finest exponents, they had morphed into a post-punk outfit – exemplified by Robert Smith’s guest vocals on All Of This – and their new incarnation proved far superior in all respects: Experimental instrumentation, layered song textures, a pervasively dark theme, and emotional lyrics that at times were still unsophisticated – but such raw, simple earnestness made

them all the more powerNOVEMBER ful for that. 18TH 2003 Feeling This, the album’s opener, immediately heralded the band’s identity sea-change, with DeLonge practically screaming the chorus but coming across as curiously muffled, for a good reason: When recording the song, Tom sang/shouted the chorus into microphones placed fifteen feet away. Such ingenious production is rife throughout the rest of the record – from Hoppus using a rare six-string Fender VI bass on most of the songs, to Tom singing into a rotating microphone on the album’s final track, I’m Lost Without You. Travis Barker gets in on the act, using multiple percussion instruments over the course of the record, in one case using a 1950’s microphone to record the drums used on Down. The aural effect created by all this innovation is nothing short of incredible. Lyrically too, the album signified a leap forward. “Hello there / The angel from my nightmare / The shadow in the background of the morgue / The unsuspecting victim”, from I Miss You, is simply world’s apart from the previous writing of a band which brought the

world Dysentary Gary! The back-andforth vocals between Tom and Mark on Stockholm Syndrome give the song such a punchy quality that the words attain an even greater power: “Where do we go (life’s temporary) / After we’re gone (like new year’s resolutions / Why is this hard (do you recognise me) / I know I’m wrong (but I can’t help believing”. Blink-182 received marked critical acclaim for this release and a reasonably successful chart showing, peaking at #3 on the US Billboard 200. Nonetheless, the San Diego triumvirate never accumulated perfect scores or ‘classic album’ status in press reviews, nor did they achieve universal public adulation in the wake of their eponymous release – they were just never that sort of ‘fashionable’ band. A pity really; there is so much to explore and revere on this album, a record sadly overlooked by so many music aficionados. SEBASTIAN CLARE

Siren MUSIC the


College Tribune | November 25th 2008

Swinging Drum n’Ace

Just J

Pendulum founder member Gareth McGrillen finds time for a brief natter with Sebastian Clare about taking over the world of drum n’ bass

Josh is feeling “great, really good”; the fantastically goodhumoured, Idaho-born musician is on form and en-route to his December shows at Vicar Street. He will be accompanied by a full orchestra for the soldout shows and he is as excited as his Irish fans about them, surmising that they will be nothing less than “outrageous”. Ritter’s fifth album, The Historical Conquests Of Josh Ritter, was released last year to wide acclaim - to the extent that critics in his homeland realised what the Irish spotted years ago: Ritter does something special. Vicar Street has featured strongly in Ritter’s career; his live DVD, In The Dark, was recorded there and released exclusively in Ireland in 2006. He makes no hesitation when expressing how he feels about the place “I love the people there, you know? Everyone from like security to the folks behind the bar. I’ve known them for years and I love working with those guys.” He fondly recalls his first appearance on the Irish festival scene, at Oxygen some years ago, laughing hard when he harks back to it, before explaining “That was hilarious, I re-

Pendulum founder member Gareth McGrillen finds time for a brief natter with Sebastian Clare about taking over the world of drum n’ bass Whatever way you look at it, Australian drum n’ bass outfit Pendulum have enjoyed a fantastic rise since their formation since releasing their debut album in 2005. Hold Your Colour received widespread critical acclaim and went on to become one of the best-selling drum n’ bass albums ever, a fact that McGrillen – producer, DJ and bassist – is understandably ecstatic about, “It was amazing, we couldn’t ask for any more. At the time all we really wanted to do was outdo our previous singles and sell more than them but I think we did that in the first week, so it was phenomenal”. Released earlier this year, the band’s followup record, In Silico, has enjoyed even greater achievement – peaking at #2 in the UK and accumulating similar chart success elsewhere. It is pleasing for the group that such triumphs have meant that drum n’ bass is appreciated by a wider audience than previously. “I mean we have made it more popular through our success – not intentionally, it’s just been a side effect of the music being palatable to more people. But at the core it is still electronic music and drum n bass but I think it’s just something that will attract a lot more ears.” He admits that this is possibly due to Pendulum’s unique way of approaching drum n’ bass “there’s a lot more melodies and song structures in the music whilst remaining really intense. I think drum n bass, typically, is more monotonous and more of a DJ tool, rather than song entities in themselves.” It is such a relatively ground-breaking full sound that led to some commentators questioning whether In Silico in fact represented a shift towards a more rock-oriented sound for the group. Indeed, some going so far as to insist that the album signified a shift away from the group’s drum n’ bass roots. McGrillen disputes this. “We wouldn’t

see it as much of a change at all. We saw it as, literally, not even two steps ahead, just the next step.” He explains, “drum n bass is quite a diverse genre, so you’re sort of able to take the music wherever you want to. And I guess what inspires this natural progression in the first place was that it had this real intense aggressive energy like rock and metal, so we saw them as just going hand in hand.” Hold Your Colour featured a number of collaborations, a characteristic notably lacking on In Silico. As McGrillen reveals, the band are keen to include more on their next release: “We’re definitely looking to do collaborations on the third record. Whether they’re in the form of production, musician, or incognito, anonymous collaborations we’re not sure yet. But we’ve definitely got a lot in mind.” As well as working with other artists, Pendulum have been fairly prolific with their remix output, the most popular example of this being their cover of The Prodigy’s Voodoo People. The band are eager to continue these endeavours, but McGrillen is coy on what they would most like to get their hands on for remixing purposes “I don’t know, just the kind of songs that you probably shouldn’t remix! The kind of song that people just say, ‘don’t touch it, please’” Originating in Perth, Pendulum relocated to the United Kingdom in 2003 and have never looked back since, taking over the world of drum n’ bass with consummate ease. “Everything’s really exciting. Obviously, both Rob and I are studio people first and foremost - especially Rob - but at the moment, playing live is very rewarding. I mean, everywhere we hit, the reaction’s been phenomenal so it’s definitely a good time to be doing it!” McGrillen expects a similarly enthusiastic crowd response when Pendulum grace Dublin with their presence this evening. “We’ve DJ-ed over there quite a few times before and we also brought a live act to Oxegen, and if the Oxegen audience is anything to go by then this gig is going to be immense! We all can’t wait for it”.

» Pendulum play the RDS tonight, doors at 7pm

member that ‘cause like The Killers were playing at the exact same time as us, man, that sucked. But the show was fun man.” Undaunted and ever industrious,

Ritter’s popularity has continued to soar here in recent years. His show at Electric Picnic this summer drew a manic crowd, and even ‘Mr. U n a s s u m i ng ’

neriS eht

College Tribune | November 25th 2008


oshing Josh Ritter recalls festivals past, chuckles over the French horn, and frets over the fate of Amy Winehouse with Vanessa Bunn himself concedes that it was “an amazing show”. Ritter turned to the piano to set down some of the tracks for his last album, a move that PJ Harvey similarly made with her most recent record. Ritter puts it down to the need to shake things up and even quips that “it’s easier than the French horn, you know?!” He is inspiring and somewhat unique in that his ambition has not dwindled with growth of his popularity. He continues to set himself challenges, and states earnestly “I think it’s kinda your responsibility to shake things up”. He has also become concerned with covering songs by other musicians – Tiny Cities Made Of Ashes by Modest Mouse being a notable example – and he enthuses about the fact that he’s working on “a bunch of different covers with a bunch of different bands right now.” Joan Baez – who Ritter has toured with and who covered his song Wings on her last record – anticipated this turn, a fact Ritter readily admits “She told me as time goes on and you stop becoming so obsessed with your own music you’ll start to become obsessed with other people’s. I think that’s true, I thought she was crazy at the time but it’s totally true”. Lyrics have always been central for Ritter, taking precedence over the music to an extent, but The Historical Conquests Of Josh Ritter sees a change in this dynamic; sonic elements have gained prominence. Ritter puts it down to “being comfortable with your musicians, being comfortable in a studio which is a really difficult place to let loose, you feel like you’re kind of working in a laboratory”. Word has it that Ritter worked from a Maine farmhouse when recording Conquests; it would be churlish to mention that this smacks of deferral rather than becoming c o m f o rt ab l e with studios. The writing and recording of Conquests was a wonderful experience for Ritter –

“Being comfortable with your musicians, being comfortable in a studio which is a really difficult place to let loose, you feel like you’re kind of working in a laboratory” “so exciting, so free” – and he’s aiming for the same kind of creative freedom with his new album. Fond recollections of meeting Amy Winehouse at an interview in Dublin when she was starting out stem from a chat about how these days “there’s more made of fame than there is of the products that bring about that fame.” Ritter is unreserved in his praise of Winehouse. “There’s a lady who’s

super talented, she was so hilarious, saying things that were like pitchperfectly awesome, and her music is phenomenal.” And, in a most regretful tone “The fame seems to have eclipsed that, people are more interested in what she’s gonna do than what she’s gonna sing.” This is one pitfall that, seemingly, Ritter himself won’t get lured into; the music is simply too important to him, that and “the having something to say”. Besides, he sees right through the celebrity culture that has swallowed up some of his most promising contemporaries “There’s so much ridiculous stuff out there in terms of celebrities and stuff, it’s just mind-boggling some of the stuff.” Josh Ritter is charming, modest, and has realistic ideas about the status of singer-songwriters in the noughties “I don’t know very many people who are making millions of dollars making music these days... one thing you get a chance to do is make things that you wouldn’t get to otherwise...that’s a pretty huge reward.” Thus he sets out, with an orchestra in tow, to wow his fans in Ireland, “where I kinda measure that stuff and really feel the most proud of it, probably ‘cause that’s where I started you know”.


A sideways look at...

Ill advised comebacks Remember the good old days? You know; sunshine, lollipops and rainbows, the time when ‘recession’ was just a repeat performance of a Friday night. It was all good, baby. And you know what made these memories great? And with rose-tinted spectacles we tend to filter out the crap. So when you saw Take That in 1990, soaked to the bone with mud-splattered jeans and a piece of that wood shit they put down so you won’t tear up the field piercing through your Nike Air, I assure you it wasn’t the best moment in your life, it was just a good concert, that’s it. So for the love of god; please, please stop demanding these comebacks! It’s not even these memorable moment style comebacks that have the power to annoy, it’s the ones where we demand classic bands and fallen artists to return. Jesus Christ, none of us want to see Michael Jackson strut his stuff on stage, merely looking at him is agonising. Who wants to see the John Bonham-less, too-old-to-always-make-to-the-bathroom-on-time Led Zeppelin? And for pity’s sake, nobody wants to see one Ging-er, one Slut, one Stick, one Nobody and one Man make another Spice World tour.

Wednesday 26th November The Hedge Schools, Upstairs in Whelan’s, €12, doors at 8pm The Dead Flags, Whelan’s, €10, doors at 8pm Thursday 27th November Foals, Ambassador, €23, doors at 8pm Dark Room Notes, Odessa, €10, doors at 9pm Friday 28th November The Damned, Button Factory, €25, doors at 7.30pm Fionn Regan, Vicar St, €19, doors at 8pm Brian Cullen’s Love Bullets, The Boom Boom Room, €8, doors at 8.30pm Saturday 29th November Nouvelle Vague, Tripod, €28, doors at 8pm DC Tempest, Whelan’s, €14, doors at 8pm Wednesday 3rd December Bon Iver, National Stadium, €28, doors at 7.30pm Thursday 4th December Billy Bragg, Vicar St, €28, doors at 8pm

Anyhow, why bother seeing an older, worn version of your idles? To spout a bit of nineties lingo: ‘Been There, Done That.’ While the aforementioned musical icons can be at least be considered the ‘Greats’ (or at the very least the most popular) their comebacks have a tendency to bring back the groups or people that “you know, sang that song… you know the one!” It is fair to assume that our deprivation of these bands can’t be as painful as their returns. It is doubtful that East17 are sitting at home wishing, hoping and praying that another slot in the extremely exclusive auditorium that is UCD’s Student Bar will open once again for them. Or that B*witched are living lives of extreme luxury for the millions they made for opening at the UCD ball. The one thing that will stick in the craw as the most painful return of the returns is the now defunct Sex Pistols; you were cheesy back in the seventies, you are pathetic in the noughties – so please remove yourselves from my sight. So do me a favour, do us all a favour: Just leave them in the past where they belong. Please! PETER DOWNEY

Friday 5th December Fight Like Apes, Academy, €15, doors at 7.30pm Saturday 6th December Gemma Hayes, Tripod, €28, doors at 7.30pm Sunday 7th December Liam Finn featuring support from One Day International, Whelan’s, €17, doors at 8pm Wednesday 10th December Tracy Chapman, Olympia, €56, doors at 7.30pm Thursday 11th December Ocean Colour Scene, Olympia, €40, doors at 7.30pm The Pigeon Detectives, Academy, €24, doors at 7pm Friday 12th December Josh Ritter, Vicar St, €38, doors at 7.30pm Iglu & Hartly, Whelan’s, €15, doors at 7.30pm

Seb’s Pick: Watch a musical orgasm, Billy Bragg plays Vicar Street on Thursday, 4th December

Siren MUSIC the


College Tribune | November 25th 2008

Catch your De Eoin Boyle caught up with Death Cab For Cutie drummer Jason McGerr at The Ambassador to chat about touring, recording, solo projects and recognition. Death Cab For Cutie have been a rather unusual band given the prevailing nature of today’s music scene, and they have worked very hard to get to where they are. They have just released their sixth full-length album in eleven years, a record most bands would struggle to repeat. They have finally made their way to Ireland and sold out The Ambassador on November 13th; “We’re sort of calling this our first official time in Ireland because Oxygen doesn’t really count, being a festival and not really in the city proper. We’ve only been here one other time, but we’re treating this one like its number one. McGerr tunes into an altogether different wavelength, saying, “The Ambassador is a great theatre, though it smells a little funny. I look around at these walls and I wonder how many coats of paint actually I’m seeing, it seems pretty thick. The show sold out really fast so I’m feeling like it’s a pretty great air here.” Ireland is the first stop on the Death Cab tour and touring is seen as extremely important to the band; “It’s just started really; we’ve only been in the U. K. now for four days. The first day we played the Zane Lowe Show for BBC and then we flew over the next morning and played Belfast then that night and Dublin today so it’s only just begun, which can be both good and bad. Good because you’re getting us while we’re fresh, well sort of fresh, there’s a little jetlag factor to it but we’re not jaded or homesick. We’re very enthusiastic right now. I guess there is no bad to that, just pure enthusiasm.” It’s all in the name of their brand new album, Narrow Stairs; “It came out on May 13th I believe, I can’t even remember, man time flies. Even before then we were on tour doing promo and press and a handful of shows so we’ve been out on the road since April 18th, and we will be until December 15th, then we’ll be back out again next year doing a load of stuff overseas. When you release a record to the world you have to go on service, you gotta go to new places, you gotta just stay busy. The frightening thing is that you could actually be on the road 365 days a year if you tried to get everywhere so it’s a balance of what can we handle and what’s feasible basically.”

According to McGerr, it’s no fun to be on the road all that time. “We were in south East Asia recently and we figured out that it was something like 17 flights in 21 days and that’s nowhere near as much fun as being on a van or a bus and getting to see the coun-

It’s each man for himself in terms of the fact you’re in charge of your own thing and however you want to convey that energy to the audience

try and taking your time to actually go places. But it’s the nature of the business.” Taking into account the busy schedule, it has been a bit of a

tough struggle to get to the recognition that DCFC now have, and not just with the listening public but with the big record labels too. “When we did Plans, our first record for a major label, I don’t think we admitted to there being any sort of pressures or doing anything differently but there was that, there was a quiet pressure on ourselves. Chris Walla was always the guy behind the board and committed the sounds and really helped to tailor the sound that Death Cab has on records, but he was far more a guy holding a clipboard than a band member for the Plans process. “He was in charge of a major label project and we did a lot of individual recording – as in I would sit and play drums for five or six hours straight until I got all my parts straight and then we’d move on and put bass on that. I would lay the foundation, playing along with a scratch vocals or something and then Ben would come in and record the singing last. It was a very surgical process for Plans as opposed to Transatlantacism.” Plans was successful, going platinum in the US and excelling worldwide. ”Once we established that it allowed us to relax a little bit and approach the second major label record, Narrow Stairs, with a little more carefree ease and it’s like, you didn’t have to dress up, you didn’t have to impress anyone. We were a band that had literally been on tour from the release of Transatlantacism, all the way through Plans, up until taking a break to record Narrow Stairs.” Living on the road together for five years however does not seem to have taken a toll. “We knew that most of the hours we had clocked in as a band were together on stage so we didn’t overthink it and we certainly didn’t try and do it like Plans, isolating a guy in a room for half a day, I mean that just didn’t make sense. The major label record the first time out, even though we had four albums before, at least we had four albums before, I can’t imagine if we’d just signed a major deal as a brand new band and had to do a record straight away. Someone else would have clearly taken the reins and there would have been another producer – like I said, we had enough skill to get through it on our own but it was still a difficult process.”

This band member is clearly optimistic about the future, given the fact the band have remained strong in the past “It seems like a band will have one or two albums, maybe three, and one of those has to do really well in order to keep going. Otherwise people call it quits or they splinter off and someone goes for a solo career or something, and there’s not a lot of bands that I can think of off the top of my head who have had more than a decade and are still going strong and looking towards making more albums. Wilco are one and Spoon are another.” The band members all have their own input into their releases, it’s not all been down to frontman, Ben Gibbard; “Ben is the primary songwriter and he demos his ideas and sometimes they are just a single voice and a guitar and sometimes he plays drums, bass, keyboard... he’ll hear more ideas and want to commit them and then as a band we then get together and we listen to all the

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College Tribune | November 25th 2008


eath Cab band closed to suggestions? It’s a resounding no. “I think that more and more we’ve got better at making suggestions and taking suggestions because the band has been a band for almost eleven years now – there’s no point in not speaking your mind, there’s no point in not making suggestions whether they work out or not, it’s better to stick with the honesty policy and deal with growing pains as they come, but the good news is that I feel that we’ve survived most of those. That’s years of trying to carve out enough space for yourself in a broken down van on a highway.” It has helped the band no end that each has their own space and as a result many other solo records have come from Death Cab; “The AllTime Quarterback was a collection of stuff from a long time ago that was just sitting around and Ben wanted to get out, and our old label Barsuk decided to put

demos, we get them individually and then we get together and talk about our favourites – the A list, the B list and the C list if we get to it – and then prioritise what it is we’re gravitating towards. And then the good thing about Ben is that he’s not so precious about the arrangements so that whatever he puts down has to be a part so there’s a lot of cases where a song gets completely stripped apart and built back up again and the only thing that could remain is the lyric or a bass line or something small like that. Then again, there’s also incidents where he really nails what the spirit of the song really needs to be in demo form and it’s tough to break away from it, but we all collaborate on each other’s parts and make suggestions and then when we play live. It’s each man for himself in terms of the fact you’re in charge of your own thing and however you want to convey that energy to the audience.” After over a decade, are the

it out. I don’t know of how many people know the band – there was never a tour or anything. I

“I look back on old artists like old bebop artists and jazz musicians who put forty-plus albums in the world, and people love that. It’s like collecting pieces of art – well, it is art” mean, we all have collections of music that eventually end up somewhere in the world, like Chris’s solo record from last year. You might as well take the opportunity to leave your mark as much as possible. I look back on old artists like old bebop artists and jazz musicians who put forty-plus albums in the world, and people love that. It’s like collecting pieces of art – well, it is art. I hope that people have a collection of Death Cab someday that eventually gets out in the world. The band are not sure what comes next but they do seem to be able to be tempted into some different spheres; “We love film, we love writing, Nick has directed a few videos, and if there was ever a great marriage of screenplay and music I’m sure that Death Cab would jump at the opportunity, but I can’t say that there’s anything that we’ve actively got in the works right now. We’re more into tour-mode and recording-record-mode, and looking towards the next record as well. But there may be a time, who knows? Maybe it’ll be a rock opera, there’s always room for creativity though amongst us all and we all encourage one another. We’ll see what happens.” In closing, we go right back to the beginning with the conception of the band and the choosing of the name: “The name is actually a name of a song from the sixties by a band called The

Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band – and they were this sort of weird artrocky band – and this tune was sort of a Do-Wop tune, but I think most people found out about them because when the Beatles made the movie Magical Mystery Tour, in the background of one of the scenes the band are playing this song, this weird Do-Wop song. And Ben has always been a big Beatles fan, as we all are – he just had a wild hair when he was young that if he ever had a band he’d call them Death Cab for Cutie – and he had been playing music in other bands for years but that particular name stuck in his head and the first record kind of stuck with the world, or at least the public, and the rest is history.”


Siren FASHION the


College Tribune | November 25th 2008

Tis the sequin to be jolly Jessica Whyte reviews the Christmas ghosts of fashion and the hope for revival for yet another year The season of Christmas has always been intertwined with tradition: decorating evergreens, gorging on winged creatures and stuffing mandarins isnto stockings. In keeping with Christmas tradition, December issue fashion magazines are proclaiming the commencement of the ‘party season’ and the subsequent birth of this year’s festive look. And so, after much anticipation it can be revealed that the official garment trend for Noël 2008 is (drum roll drummer boy if you please)… the sequin. Sparkly dresses? Who would have thought? It’s a good thing that there are wise men out there in the world earning an extortionate salary to herald these dramatic shifts in the fashion industry. What needs be emphasised however is that in spite of the general association with glitzy glamour for the festive season, Christmas 2008 will see the sequin taking centre stage, not glitter or crystals. This does alter the playing field considerably, for most

women embrace glitter, many embrace crystals but few entertain the sequins. If there was ever an element of fashion to be unfairly stigmatised it’s the sequin. Regarded by critics as the mascot for tacky attire, sequins have always been labelled as glamour repellent. The sequin has its place in “fashion”: on the costumes of circus acrobats, Russian gymnasts and the contestants of ‘Strictly Come Dancing’- some even go as a far as saying that they are the uniform of exotic dancers and prostitutes. Considering the notorious reputation that the sequin has for cheapening the overall look of a garment, it is highly ironic that its origins are seeped in wealth. In 13th century Europe, sequins were moulded from actual gold and were used as a form of currency. These sequin coins were stitched to women’s clothes as a way of displaying her family’s wealth. Nowadays, many women fear that sporting a sequined ensemble could result in a

critical judgement of her sense of style. If one wears a sequined outfit to a party or an event, they will be instantly noticed and are therefore putting themselves at risk of being scrutinised. This raises the question why so many women view this attention as a major ordeal? A pos-

It’s vintage, darling Aoife Smyth delves into the world of vintage clothing and unearths Dublin's hidden fashion wonders Coco Chanel said "In order to be irreplaceable, one must be different", and with vintage clothing, the chances are, you will be different. The beauty of vintage clothing is that it doesn't date and it can be considered an investment for your wardrobe, as trends are cyclical, so you're not risking buying something that is out of fashion a day later. Fiona Smyth, co-owner of Dublin vintage shop The Harlequin, says that when you buy vintage "You are buying something unique, and of course, making a statement." These days, mixing high street styles with vintage items is seen as an enviable art. Celebrities like the Olsen twins, Kate Moss and Mischa Barton are often seen gracing the pages of magazines in vintage clothing. The question on

many vintage- virgin lips is where do I start? Well, unknown as it is to many, Dublin has a few hidden gems on the vintage scene such as The Harlequin, Jenny Vanders and Wild Child, to name a few. Oxfam on Georges street has a vintage section which, although more expensive than other Oxfam items, is extremely cheaper than many High Street shops. What are the benefits of buying vintage? Well firstly, individuality is a key factor and for those who dare to be different vintage is perfect. Vintage is more reasonable than a lot of high street shops, and a lot of designer clothes are based on vintage pieces, so you have the chance of buying pieces which influence the designers. Like art, this is an investment, the older the better. Not only is buying vin-

tage is environmentally friendly, it is ethically friendly too, as you are not funding sweat-shops. There are a few things to watch out for buying clothes of this class however. Perspiration stains, mildew, moth damage and badly worn clothes, as none of these are a particularly good look. Always bear in mind that vintage sizes are unreliable, as a lot of them would have been tailored to fit a specific person, especially in the fifties. If you're buying vintage from e-bay, you check all the exact measurements, but don't fret if it's wrong when it arrives, as many items can be altered by a good dressmaker. The great thing about vintage clothing is that it allows you to follow trends, but in a more timeless way. Fashion for spring 2009

carries many of these undertones, such as 80's glam rock skinny jeans, sheer, satin and chiffon dresses channelling the 50's and even 80's onwards. The style of the nineties is considered vintage now and next season the will be seen on our catwalks. Think 90210, New Kids On The Block, grunge and high-waisted trousers teamed with blazers. A lot of these quintessential nineties items can be thrifted at local charity shops, car-boot sales and church fetes, if you just have enough will power to rummage. Buying vintage involves thinking outside the box and considering alterations. A floor length granny-esque skirt could be chopped to match the high street styles. Get your rummage on and don't forget to be brave!

sible answer could be connected to the powerful visual impact that sequins create, and the ability they have to enhance or detract from the glamour of a garment. Sequined outfits most commonly fail for the following reasons: their lack of quality, there poor application and the use of a cheap or unsuitable fabric. Like Christmas tree ornaments, sequins decorate an outfit and the golden rule with fabric decoration is you get what you pay for. It all comes down to your budget. Stretching the purse strings a little further will ensure a higher quality of fabric and standard of sequin stitching. Though now may not seem like the best time for ‘extravagant’ purchases, sequins are timeless and a worthwhile investment. For those still reluctant to venture into the sequin domain, be reassured that fashion is ultimately about expression and creativity, about taking the risks that others won’t. In conclusion to this article and the end of another fashion season, a festive toast to the sequin… and to all who dare to wear.

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College Tribune | November 25th 2008



On screen aura Aoife Ryan reviews why film and fashion have always been friends The optical of cinema has since its inception in the 1890s provided society with an alternative world of possibilities cloaked in the dramatic wardrobe of its stars. The two are so intertwined it is quite impossible to determine whether it is our street fashion that mirrors film creations or the other way around. Any lasting fashion trends of today can be traced back to the film reels of earlier years that provided inspiration for design alongside their storylines. The question on our lips then is do we always revert to the big screen somehow to find out how to dress ourselves? Modern films have recently begun a turn towards documenting the iconic fashions of the past with films such as Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette and Angelina Jolie’s new release Changeling, a film that re-enacts the lavish glamour of the 1920s. The Meryl Streep hit The Devil Wears Prada and Sienna Miller starring role in Factory Girl reflects our cult desire for clothing and trend imagery as a focus of the picture rather than plot substance. Never before have so many fashion industry figures been the cen-

tre of big cinema productions, drawing star names such as Kate Winslet set to channel Vivienne Westwood and Audrey Tatou bringing to life the infamous Coco Chanel. Items now classed as outfit essentials were popularised by the femmes fatales of the movies. When thinking of the LBD (little black dress) stable, we immediately revert to Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s auctioned off in 2006 in London for $1.2 million. It was in Breakfast at Tiffany’s that she also broadcasted the now on-scene cropped jacket with oversized buttons. Some breakthroughs in women’s fashion were heralded with nowadays less-recognised “fashion” films. Brigitte Bardot’s 1957 appearance in And God Created Woman without a girdle caused a scandal at the time and marked the move away from the 1950s exaggerated decency to a more liberated front. The more s u gg e s t iv e clothing now remembered as decisive in altering the fashion rules had

begun two years previous to this film with Marilyn Monroe’s 1955 The Seven Year Itch in which the billowing white dress was first seen. Clothing marks, whether we like it or not, our place in the world and how we view ourselves. Aesthetic has set in stone the most crucial stars throughout each film era. The bowler hat, fake moustache, clown-like shoes and cane symbolise everything revolutionary about the Charlie Chaplin little tramp character. The image alone concocts the social message of his films and


the development of cinema itself. Experiment and expression in fashion is projected endlessly onto the screen, with the extreme costumes of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Clockwork Orange and Edward Scissorhands. It was the 1930s starlets such as Bette Davis and Greta Garbo that ensured the age of the ‘talkies’ was not all based on sound. The flapper-style headbands now right on trend were first enforced as worldwide recognisable styling pieces by these early actresses, as well as the decorated headscarf, now making a return. Later actors like Grace Kelly and Elizabeth Taylor also altered the way we dress by adorning unique outfits. Taylor’s chiffon cocktail dress in the musical Cat on a Hot Tin Roof was copied and sold in the thousands. Grace Kelly’s entrance in Hitchcock’s Rear Window in a full white skirt and black bodice reiterated the importance of classic style and timeless chic-glamour. Inevitably film will continue to sway our taste into new directions, revisiting and altering the past from time to time. Knightley’s emerald gown in Atonement burst onto the scene in both fashion and cinematic circles last year. This year the longawaited Sex and the city film caused an equal frenzy. All we can do is squirm in our seats waiting for next year’s trend statement on screen.

Diamonds are forever

EDIE ROSE: The new Rachel Bilson design collection for DKNY. Not available here yet but there’s always online shopping. Has anyone ever seen her in bad clothes?

A STOCKING OVER THE CHIMNEY: If you don’t have a chimney, carving a small hole into the sitting room wall and set something burnable on fire should adequately set the scene. GIVING A RECEIPT WITH THE GIFT: A sure-fire way to put a smile on a girl’s face. It’s the thought that counts and she’s thinking of returning it.

BIN IT THE UPCOMING EXAMS: We all know the social side of college is important but it’s now time to start making up for lost time with some serious cramming. All the days you spent sitting around doing nothing in various parts of the college, occasionally attending class, now seems so annoyingly ridiculous. HAVING THE SOUND TURNED UP ON YOUR LAPTOP IN THE LIBRARY:

Ruth O’Neill searches through the crafty Rebecca Davis store to find some stocking bling If you’re searching for a bit of beautiful bling to make you stand out at all those festive shin-digs you plan to attend after the horrid exams, look no further than the Rebecca Davis jewellery store. Located in the charming Westbury mall off Grafton Street, you will simply fall in love with some of the stunning pieces the store has on sale. Davis sources the jewellery from all over the world. She has three Irish designers, Eva Maguire, Merle O’Grady and Tina Ashmore. She travels to Paris and Greece for some of her designers and her most famous designer is Kenneth Jay Lane from New York; his jewellery recently featured in the Sex and the City movie. Davis proudly states, “my tag line is ‘Jewellery is the outfit, Clothing is the Accessory’ so I feel that wearing something quite plain and then wearing an amazing piece of jewellery always

looks great.” So far, with online for two years and the opening of the store within the last two months, what has been her best seller? “I think my earrings and rings are probably the best seller. They are quite unique and the rings have a man oeuvre in them so that they can fit every finger so that attracts a lot of people to them.” Speaking about whether she plans to extend her brand portfolio with jewelled shoes and clutch bags she says, ” I have clutch bags in the shop at the moment and maybe one day I’ll add shoes. The shop would be a one-stop shop for everything but the dress.” You may even bump into some Irish celebs while you are browsing in the store. “I’ve had a few Irish celebs in so I don’t want to drop too many without feeling like a name dropper, but Katherine Thomas is a great customer, as is

Andrea Roche. I think the jewellery would suit a lot of celebs but I think it is very like something Cameron Diaz or Rachel Bilson would wear so I would love to see it on them. Dedicated to giving Irish women want they want Davis gushes “I love when I see people wearing a piece they have gotten in the shop as it shows they love it and it looks great on them. Every buying trip is always amazing too. Getting to see what designers are doing and coming up with is great, it’s like I’m a personal shopper for all of my customers as I’ve gotten to know people’s tastes and I can pick something specifically for them.” Is it too early to start writing our Christmas wish list now?

You forgot to turn it off before you came in and have just drawn the attention of loads of stressed out students when you turn it on. It’s just as annoying for you as it is for them, so stop with all the shushing and exasperated looks. A HYBRID OF CROCS AND UGGS. It’s like trying to mix two animals in the hope of making something better. Won’t somebody please think of the children? By Aoife Ryan

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College Tribune | November 25th 2008


Balancing books and blockbusters Hold me, thrill me, kiss me Plot: Set in a dreary monochrome working-class suburb, we are introduced to next-door neighbour teens, Dylan and Kylie who have each been subjected to different traumatizing forms of abuse from their families. In an effort to escape the realism of their bleak lives for a more colourful urban fairy tale, they run away from home together at Christmas. Mixing reality with idealism, they spend a fun and fear-filled night on the streets of inner-city Dublin. Verdict: the film is ultimately heartfelt but not overly sentimental due hugely to the well developed plot and wonderfully natural performances by

KISSES ★★★★★ its inexperienced young protagonists who help the film retain the magical child’s eye point of view. Its originality is also memorable due to the interesting use of colour. After beginning with grey tones, there is a transition to vibrant colour to reflect their changing moods. The Bob Dylan soundtrack also adds a touch of charm to this already charismatic movie. CATHY BUCKMASTER

Sarah Bolger took time out from Leaving Cert preparation and an international acting career to talk to Cathy Buckmaster about fluky auditions, The Tudors, balancing books and blockbusters as well as the difficulty of getting to grips with Polish. At the tender age of seventeen, Irish actress Sarah Bolger has a resumé that would impress any seasoned actor, having had substantial parts in movies such as In America, Stormbreaker and The Spiderwick Chronicles not to mention her role as Princess Mary in The Tudors. Despite this huge success at such a relatively young age, Bolger is undeniably grounded and it’s impossible not to enjoy her company due to her unfaltering enthusiasm. She discusses her enjoyment for dramatics from a young age. “I enjoyed performing and I just always loved getting up in front of my family and singing, doing skits or I even used to make up dances with my friends and God knows what else I put my family through for the first ten years of my life.” She jokes remorsefully. “After I did In America, I think that was the turning point for me. That was the moment where I said, oh Lord, I’m addicted.” “In America was my first film and gave me my first taste for the industry and what comes along with it. I’d never done publicity for a film and I didn’t realise the huge amount of work that goes into a film afterwards! I was in LA and New York and we were doing premières and Junkets. Being a twelve year old and sitting there for three days with people coming in every five minutes was very daunting. But it was

an exciting time and in a weird way, was kind of addictive.” Bolger explains the lucky turn of events that jump started her career. “For In America, my sister auditioned for it and I came along with her for support. Jim Sheridan needed someone to read opposite her so he could focus on her performance and Emma, my sister, called me out from the car

“For In America, my sister auditioned for it and I came along with her for support. Fluke or what?” and there you go, the rest is history. Fluke or what, right? But I’m not complaining.” She exclaims. After considering the numerous projects she’s worked on, Bolger has her favourites. “TV wise, I’ve only really done The Tudors which has been so much fun. Being offered Princess Mary was so exciting. Even without reading the script I was like, Oh My God; do I get to put on those clothes? They are Fantastic.” She squeals. “Ok, yes you can’t breathe at the end of the day but that’s only a minor thing. As soon as you’re in those costumes and the bloody corsets are

on you, you feel so Tudor-like. It’s unbelievable; you feel like you’ve been plummeted back into that time in history.” As for working with the other notable cast members, a certain King Henry VIII jumps to mind, Bolger only has good things to say. “John is absolutely fantastic. When I met him first, I was very nervous because he’s a huge star. I was a bit star struck to be deadly honest with you. I remember meeting him and seeing how he treats every single person the exact same way, no matter if it’s a crew member, the extras, or his co-star. It’s unbelievable; he’s a real gentleman, I have to admit.” As for her favourite film she’s done, there’s no hesitation. “Would have to be The Spiderwick Chronicles; It’s so different from anything else I’ve done in terms of blue screen and green screen. The amount of details that they have to go into to make these creatures on screen is crazy with the whole CGI thing. That was great to be apart of.” Balancing an acting career and secondary school may seem a difficult task but Bolger seems to have it under control. “For Spiderwick for instance, that was five months away from home but I had a tutor so in terms of work, you’re up to date. However, just coming back and getting into the rhythm with friends again is a different story.” “First of all, I’m on a completely different side of the world to them so the


Not a revolutionary reel Plot: This is the first part of Steven Soderbergh’s ambitious attempt to chronicle the military actions of Ernesto ‘Che’ Guevara. In this film, Che develops a militant force and builds a relationship with Fidel Castro before embarking on the Cuban Revolution. The events of the Revolution are occasionally intercut with the events of a subsequent visit by Che to the United Nations in New York where he publically condemns U.S imperialism. Verdict: With little character development, the ubiquitous poster boy of student rebellion remains just as

CHE - PART 1 ★★★★★ elusive in this film. This is despite, and possibly because of, a charismatic performance from Benicio Del Toro as the title character. Guevara’s construction of a guerrilla force is handled in great detail yet it lacks any trace of humanity with which to maintain the audience’s attention. The admittedly spectacular street battles that take up the final act remain cold and distant. The dramatic change Che’s movement has brought is hardly felt.

As you like it The multi-Oscar winning Shakespeare in Love begins with a depressed Will Shakespeare (Joseph Fiennes), who is currently without a muse and constantly overshadowed by his playwright rival Christopher Marlowe. Drinking and visiting brothels constitute his most interesting activities, as he is constantly plagued by the owner of the Rose Theatre, Henslow (Geoffrey Rush), for a new script. Will eventually finds his muse in the shape of the beautiful Viola de l’Esseps (Gwyneth Paltrow), the daughter of a wealthy merchant who has risen far in Queen Elizabeth’s court. Alas, Viola is

betrothed to the thoroughly obnoxious Duke of Wessex, played superbly by a goateed Colin Firth. Thus, Will’s own life gives birth to his tragedy ‘Romeo and Juliet’. With Viola disguised as a boy so she may play Romeo as women were forbidden to act in the 17th century, the Rose Theatre finally has its play. With an impressive number of stars making up the cast within the cast, many scenes from ‘Romeo and Juliet’ are blended smoothly with this fabricated version of William Shakespeare’s life. The ending leaves something to be desired, but perhaps it is just as fitting that not everything ends well. Particu-

SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE 1998 larly memorable in their supporting roles are Judi Dench as the Queen, Ben Affleck as Ned, an egotistical actor, and Imelda Staunton as Viola’s nurse. But nobody can top Jospeh Fiennes, who seems to have been born to play this part. The set design, costumes and music are truly authentic, while the scripting, by none other than Tom Stoppard, will have you in tears of laughter and sadness at regular intervals. Ten years on from its first release, Shakespeare in Love is still well worth several viewings. SUSANNE O’REILLY

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College Tribune | November 25th 2008



5 films to... give you that warm fuzzy Christmas feeling The Santa Clause

time zone is different and it’s hard to make time to call your friends at home so most of the time, I email them. When you come home, it’s hard to catch up really because you’ve missed a huge part of their life. Not that your friends have moved on, but things have happened that you haven’t been a part of so you have to catch up.” Bolger discusses her part in her new film set to be released next year. “I just filmed The Iron Cross in Poland which is a WW2 movie. The main character is played by Roy Scheider, who unfortunately passed away there back in February. My character is Kashka and she is in love with the young Roy Scheider. So when he’s looking back on his life during the war, you see that they were very much in love and it’s a tragic love story without giving anything away.” She had to learn a new skill for the role and doesn’t remember the process fondly “I did have to learn Polish for the role. It’s so different;

the linguistics of it all is very complicated and it’s also just very different to how we speak. I’ve done the American and English accent. For this I did a semi-English semi-Polish accent but when I had to speak actual Polish that was in a real polish accent which is so hard. For the Tudors as well, you had to do Latin; there are pages of Latin prayers. Now I feel like I just need to speak English for a while!” And after concluding the mini-rant, she laughs. As for her favorite skill, she ponders a moment remembering all the talents she’s learned. “I have to admit the Fencing for Spiderwick was kind of cool. I felt pretty great being able to walk on set and use a sword successfully; it was pretty cool. I think everyone should carry one around.” There’s a fan page dedicated to the actress but Bolger seems embarrassed by the fuss. “It’s sort of surreal but I never ever look at those kinds of things. Most of the time you almost don’t want to know what people are saying, good or bad. You take it all

with a pinch of salt and I never do the Face Book or Bebo thing.” “You get the odd moment where one person looks to another and there’s an eye movement and a head tilt but Irish people are great, there’s never that awkward moment. Ireland is fantastic for that so I’d never move; I think Ireland is so grounding and is the best in my opinion.” As for the best moment in her career, Bolger has a definite memory which brings a smile to her face. “I especially remember doing the Storm Breaker premier which was on Leicester square and walking out and just being so overwhelmed by all these people who came to see your movie.” She concludes cheerfully “It’s just the best feeling in the world to be able to say that people are happy with what they’re seeing on screen. It’s amazing when people are laughing and enjoying it and it’s great to sit there at the premiere and just watch people and their reactions. It’s strangely fulfilling.”

Not so happenin’ WHAT JUST HAPPENED ★★★★★ Plot: The film portrays two weeks in the life of a successful Hollywood director and begins with Ben (Robert De Niro) in the pre-screening a mediocre movie with an inappropriately gruesome ending. Despite the bad reaction the film received, loose-cannon Brit Jeremy Brunell (Michael Wincott) refuses to alter it. The rest of the film focuses on Ben trying to make Jeremy change the film, spend time with his kids from his failed marriages and convince Bruce Willis (played by himself) to shave his ridiculous beard for his next film role. Verdict: Filled with the usual clichés of Hollywood life including prima-donna actors, drug-induced directors, the alimony loving exwife and desperate new actresses sleeping their way into the film industry, the movie doesn’t really

After investigating a noise on the roof, Tim Allen ends up killing Santa Clause in a freak accident. Don’t worry, it gets happier. Allen puts on the Santa suit and becomes contractually bound to being the new Santa. He tries to deny the whole incident as a dream but cannot hide his hair turning white, his ever growing beard and morbid obesity. Although this film has been tainted, like so many others, by horrific sequels that will soon undoubtedly reach Santa Clause 8; revenge of the elves, it’s still a charmingly Christmassy movie that has a nice mix of humour and schmaltziness.

The Snowman Nothing quite says Christmas like the missing link of the Venetian boy’s choir singing about his beloved magical Snowman. Completely wordless, it tells the tale of a boy who builds a snowman that comes to life that night. After quietly investigating the boy’s house, the snowman and the boy go for a ride on a motorcycle. However, the story will really having you aching to decorate a tree by firelight when the two take flight over the boy’s town, go right past the pier until the reach to the Northern lights all to that lovely tune, Walking in the Air.

Home alone

offer anything new. Although humorous in parts, the jokes are predictable and dragged out. The life of a Hollywood producer could be an interesting subject but this really

isn’t enough to be the sole plot of a two hour film. Seriously, did anything actually happen? KATIE GODWIN

The always loveable McCauley Culkin at his best here as 8-year-old Kevin McAllister who after having a fight with older brother, Buzz is sent to his room where he wishes for his family to disappear. After a mix-up the following day, he is accidentally left behind when they leave for a holiday over Christmas. It turns out to be quite the adventure as Kevin has to defend his home from blundering bandits, Harry and Marv, with a series of im-

possibly complicated booby traps made form household items. There’s very little not to like about the film and the ending is bound to make u feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Love actually Even as love is the theme, this is not necessarily just for the nauseatingly lovedup (although they’ll like it too); this film has a nice dollop of how disastrous it can be too for the cynic in all of us. With Christmas time in England taking hold, the story delves into a few interweaved stories of both lonely and smitten people of all ages who are desperately falling in and out of love despite lack of interest from their interests, jobs, responsibilities, spouses and language barriers. Not everyone ends up happy but the film’s Christmassy feel makes it incredibly pleasing.

Blackadder’s The Muppet’s Christmas Carol A Christmas Carol is an essential Christmas watch. However with the numerous interpretations, it’s hard to pick just one; so here’s two. Narrated by Hugh Laurie, the Blackadder take gets an original twist. Ebenezer, who is the black sheep of the Blackadder family due to his compassionate nature, is shown by the ghost how truly rotten people are and he realises his true caustic Blackadder-ian self. In The Muppet’s Christmas Carol, Kermit, Miss Piggy and co. come together with Michael Caine as Scrooge to tell their musical version. Hugely touching and always funny, it’s a great alternative to all those stuffy versions. Anyway, people who don’t like the Muppets have no souls.




College Tribune | November 25th 2008



Rent it for yourself Directed by Keith Siew and Michael Simpson, ‘Rent’ has been Dramsoc’s biggest production this year with 31 cast members. It tells the tale of a group of young artists struggling to survive in post-millennium New York, under the shadow of Aids. There were some outstanding performances. Mark Quinn played Mark Cohen, the film maker and excellently portrayed his awkward character. Mimi the prostitute was played by Aisling Billington who was suspiciously convincing and Angel the transvestite was fabulously portrayed by Denis Grindel.

A beautiful brunch The show began with a rendition of the song, Rent; the singing was powerful and the harmony was hugely impressive. This was true for all of the songs in particular; Tango, Maureen and La Vie Bohème. Light my Candle was highly entertaining due to its brazen raunchiness. Unfortunately the sound of the music didn’t match the standard of the acting. The sound was often poor possibly due to the quality of the equipment which may have been at fault. The cast undoubtedly offered a stunning performance with Denis Grindel stealing the show as Angel, the lovable transvestite with Aids. Memorable moments include the exchanges between Mark, Maureen’s (Emily Leonard) exboyfriend and Joanne (Emily Carroll), Maureen’s new girlfriend as well as the similarly uncomfortable scene when Mark arrives at the HIV support group and of course the provocative dancing by the prostitutes. Overall, the performance was very moving as well as hilarious and heart breaking which left its audience hungry for more.

If it’s a fulfilling lunch or dinner you’re looking for, turn the car around , this horrifically overpriced food is not for you. However, Howard’s Way really does have the best and most decently priced Breakfast/Bunch around. There is a small branch in Rathgar Village and beside Superquinn in Churchtown. The Churchtown restaurant is cramped to the max with tables and chairs, but with good reason. Due to its small size but unbelievable popularity among their regular morning glories, you’ll be lucky getting a place before 2pm, but don’t fret and be patient; the fry-up is well worth waiting for. It’s fair to keep in mind that regular customers are always a good sign. Never having had a bad experience there, it’s almost certain once you’ve had your brekkie here once, you’ll be clogging up the restaurant regularly too. Breakfast/Brunch is only served before the early hour of midday on weekdays but

HOWARD’S WAY ★★★★★ is available all day on the weekends for the hardworking students who value their Saturday/Sunday sleep-ins. Like a Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory version of Brunch menus, every breakfast ingredient is offered to a hungry punter including, bacon, sausages, fried and scrambled eggs, hash browns, white pudding, grilled tomato, toast and beans. No fry-up combination is impossible in this magical brunch emporium including the Howard’s Way Scrambled Big Breakfast, Double Bacon Mini Breakfast and a Vegetarian Breakfast to name but a few and all are served with a pot of tea/coffee and toast. All the Breakfasts average about nine euro, which really is a bargain considering the huge and filling portions as well

as the fantastic quality of the food which is cooked to perfection. The staff are attentive and friendly but not insincerely so and the morning atmosphere is always warm and buzzing due to its popularity. Also, unexplainably, there always seems to be excellently chosen music playing softly in the background to enhance your whole experience. There’s also an outdoor eating area in Churchtown for those who enjoy a smoke with their coffee. However, as mentioned, the lunch and dinner menus are disturbingly expensive for not overly generous portions and the vegetarian choice is extremely limited. So when visiting Howard’s Way, unless you’re minted, stick to the breakfast menu for a filling enjoyable meal and you’ll be guaranteed to have a tasty meal that will set you up for the day. STEPHANIE EAST



Bold Dahl If you thought Rohl Dahl just wrote children’s books then you’re horribly mistaken. My Uncle Oswald is one long sexual joke with a surprise romantic twist. The novel is based on the narrator’s uncle, Oswald, and his plan to obtain and preserve the sperm of famous people for later sale to rich women desperate to breed a genius, artist or royal descendant of their own. Oswald is a man who enjoys the finer things in life and lives by strict, self imposed moral guidelines. He can only be happy if he is extremely wealthy and this wealth must be obtained though enjoyable means. He also must have a large amount of sex and can never sleep with the same girl twice, a deed which he considers to be as boring as “reading a detective novel twice over”.

Oswald has learned form his fathers well travelled business partner that the crushing of a particular insect has a powerful effect on the human sex drive. Using this powder, his excellent knowledge of science, his unusual imagination and his sexy assistant, Yasmin, Oswald carries out the farfetched plan with suspicious ease. He and Yasmin travel around various countries with chocolates which filled with the aphrodisiac beetle powder. Yasmin uses these chocolates and her persuasive personality to seduce men of many talents which include Picasso, Monet, Proust, King Alfonzo XII, James Joyce and Albert Einstein. An unusual feature of the novel is this parade of 20th century artists and how some of them appear better than others in the bedroom. The sexual scenes are humorous

ROALD DAHL MY UNKLE OSWALD but get very repetitive, a factor which Dahl himself seems to notice as he suddenly summarises the last bundle of Yasmin’s encounters in a few paragraphs. Another disappointment of the novel is Dahl’s decision to spoil the ending halfway through. Yasmin’s willingness to partake in the scheme for simply the pleasure of seducing old artists is questionable and raises some questions about the portrayal of women in the novel. Despite the downfalls, My Uncle Oswald is original, witty and very scandalous. It’s not as impressive or exciting as his children’s books, but worth the read all the same. KATIE GODWIN

Suitably stimulating If Indian author Vikram Seth intended to create a book that would give its readers a bit of light reading, to be left beside the toilet perhaps, or for the a plane journey, he has utterly failed. If he on the other hand intended to muster up a masterpiece, chronicling the search by a young Indian girl, or more accurately her mother and family, for a man who will be as the title suggests a decent fella, he succeeds. Seth's novel is no doubt epic despite it chronicling the protagonists’ adventures in the space of just a year. However, considering the insight we get into their characters and the character of their cultural, historical, religious, and political surroundings during this timeframe, the reader can be sure no word is wasted. With the number of subplots intermittently moving Seth's tale along, each of which any great author could be proud of and no good author could produce, the only thing that will leave you wanting to put this book down is its consider-

VIKRAM SETH A SUITABLE BOY able weight. Seth's novel is a wondrous illustration of all that is India. It excellently depicts the country's struggle through its first general election after its victory in the fight for independence from Britain which left it in an unknown ocean of self governance. As well as this struggle, it suddenly became the world's largest democracy, and for all this alone, it is magnificent. But Seth's novel’s sense of place takes nothing away from the universality of its lessons. It is without a doubt a story about human beings, which has something to offer to each of you. BARRA Ò FIANAIL