Dejan Matić / Between Thirty-Three and Death
Editor: Milan Dobričić Cover design: Dragana Nikolić Copyright © Dejan Matić, 2013 Translation Copyright © Novica Petrović, 2013 Copyright © Treći Trg, 2013
Dejan Matić
BETWEEN THIRTY-THREE AND DEATH Translated from the Serbian original by Novica Petrović
Treći Trg 2013
UČEĆI GRAMATIKU
Učeći gramatiku starog grčkog jezika, utrnulog tela, u nepravilnom položaju; dalek pospalim stanovnicima grada, savršeno tuđ i starim Grcima i sebi, u ove sitne sate, maštam o čitanju Homera, u originalu. Reči koje ne shvatam potpuno, oblici koje ne prepoznajem, uzimaju dah: zapliću jezik kao poljubac u usta. Ali taj strani, i dugo iščekivani zvuk osvaja: poput strasti kojima smo krenuli u susret; dolazi kao početak i kraj A i Ω. A kada Odisej, ovoga puta zauvek, ostavi Itaku, i otplovi ka obalama sveta, ustanem od stola, legnem na krevet: na mirnu površinu mora.
4
LEARNING GRAMMAR
Learning the grammar of Old Greek, my body numb, its position irregular; distant from the sleepy inhabitants of the city, perfectly foreign to both old Greeks and myself, in these wee hours I imagine reading Homer in the original. Words that I don’t entirely understand, forms that I don’t recognise, take a deep breath: twisting my tongue like a kiss on the mouth. But that foreign, long awaited sound captivates: like passions we come forward to meet; it comes like a beginning and an end, A and Ω. And when Odysseus, this time for good, leaves Ithaca and sails towards world’s shores, I get up from the table, lie on the bed: on the tranquil surface of the sea.
5
PRE JUTARNJE KAFE
Sa prozora gledam crni oblak. Sada znam, jutro je neočekivana mogućnost a neodlučnost stvara osećanje krivice. Jer već si mogao da otvoriš oči, i vidiš svet u najlepšoj pozi. Veruj mi, posle buđenja besmisleno je ostajati u krevetu i sanjati taj tamni oblak.
6
BEFORE MY MORNING CUP OF COFFEE
I watch a black cloud from my window. Now I know, morning is an unexpected possibility, and indecisiveness leads to a feeling of guilt. For, you could have opened your eyes already, and seen the world in its loveliest pose. Trust me, it is pointless to stay in bed after waking up and dream of that dark cloud.
7
SLUTNJA BUDUĆEG
Nestaće zidovi ove samačke sobe, na kojima godinama beleži svoje želje, planove, kao svakodnevni podsetnik, i krenuće na putovanja, podstican toplim vetrovima. Dah novog života opijaće zatrovana čula, i on neće lako prepoznati ukus u ustima. Sećanja će nestajati, kao rane strasti.
8
SURMISING THE FUTURE
The walls of this room for a single tenant will disappear, whereon, for years, he has been writing down his wishes, plans, as a daily reminder, and he’ll embark on journeys, spurred on by warm winds. The breath of new life will intoxicate the poisoned senses, and he won’t recognise the taste in his mouth easily. Memories will keep disappearing, like early passions.
9
UMESTO POEZIJE
Idemo ukrug, draga, govorimo u metaforama koje nas ostavljaju bez daha, a onda ćutimo; i pušimo duge cigarete, pijemo jaku tursku kafu, u kojoj još uvek ne prepoznajemo budućnost naših želja. I to razmenjivanje pogleda, te detinje igre, velikodušne i sebične, u isti mah, samo usavršavaju našu sklonost ka odricanju; i bogate nas i lišavaju, poput bolesti. A u knjigama i magazinima koje smo, u nekoj zgodnoj prilici, naravno, poklonili jedno drugom; dok čitamo, noću, u krevetu, sve teže raspoznajemo slova, i snovi, napokon, započinju surovu svoju igru.
10
INSTEAD OF POETRY
We go in circles, dear, we speak in metaphors that leave us breathless, and then we keep silent; and smoke long cigarettes, drink strong Turkish coffee, wherein we still don’t recognise the future of our wishes. And this exchange of glances, those childlike games, generous and selfish at the same time, only improve our proclivity to self-sacrifice; and both enrich us and deprive us of things, just like an illness. And in books and magazines which, snatching some good opportunity, naturally enough, we gave to each other as gifts, while we read in bed at night, we make out the letters with increasing difficulty, and dreams finally commence their cruel game.
11
Vrtimo se i večeras, draga. Ali ne brini, imam rešenje za ovaj naš let: u krug ću ući kroz tvoju sobu.
12
We go in circles tonight as well, dear. But don’t worry, I have a solution for this flight of ours: I’ll enter the circle through your room.
13
SARDINIJA
I Niko. Leto vraća zvonke glasove studenata u maternji jezik, u zidove gradova iz kojih su krenuli da razmene znanja, i poglede, sa onima što ne napuštaju granice ostrva, ni šum svojih reči. (Praznih džepova, ravnodušni; pomireni sa sudbinom, lovci bez sreće.) II Niko. Leto donosi samo osmehe turista, invaziju foto-aparata i zastavica; paklene plaže; prenaseljenost i dobru zaradu.
14
SARDINIA
I Nobody. The summer brings back the chiming voices of students into their native tongues, into the walls of the cities they departed from in order to exchange knowledge, and glances, with those who do not venture beyond the boundaries of the island, or the sound of their words. (Their pockets empty, indifferent; resigned to their fate, luckless hunters.) II Nobody. The summer only brings the smiles of tourists, an invasion of cameras and flaglets; hellish beaches; overpopulation and good profits.
15
TREĆI TRG Šta čekamo ovde na agori okupljeni? Kavafi
Slučajni susret mladića i devojke na ulici. A tako malo vremena za njih u ovom gradu. Zastanu na trenutak, u čudu. Pogledaju se, dodirnu, osmehnu. Onda mu ona govori o gradiću na grčkoj obali, gde su vrtovi poludeli od mirisa i boja, a ulice od svetlosti. „Videla sam“, kaže, „sa prozora hotelske sobe, dvoje mladih na trgu voze rolere; – očigledno su par; a podnevno sunce pali njihova preplanula lica i skladno građena tela.“
16
THE THIRD SQUARE What are we waiting for, gathered here in the agora? Cavafy
A chance encounter between a young man and a girl in the street. And there is so little time for them in this city. They pause for a moment, in wonderment. They look at each other, touch, smile. Then she tells him about a small town on the Greek shore, where gardens have gone mad from odours and colours, and streets from light. “I saw”, she says, “from the window of my hotel room, two young people in the square riding on roller skates; – obviously a couple; the noon sun burned their faces and nicely built bodies.”
17
MIMOILAŽENJE
I Jureći za jednom devojkom, nespretan, kao i obično, u takvim prilikama; i nestrpljiv, i nedovoljno vešt, naleti na svog anđela čuvara. Ovaj jedva dočeka da mu opali šamar, onom rukom što je bliža srcu; i koja, uzgred, miriše na dečju pomadu, i ozon. I nestajući, u magnovenju, došapnu: Imamo sestru malenu, koja još nema dojaka. II Za čelo viši od njega, sa tamnim očima na bledom licu. Tankih usana; dugih prstiju: ni muško, ni žensko. U službenom kombinezonu, sa kapuljačom i crnom pelerinom, ispod koje, verovatno, krije zamorna krila. Pojavio se opet; tek da dobaci: Šta ćemo činiti sa sestrom svojom? 18
PASSING EACH OTHER BY
I Running after a girl, clumsy, as per usual, on such occasions; and impatient to boot, and insufficiently skilful, he ran into his guardian angel. The latter could hardly wait to slap his face, with the hand that is closer to the heart; the one which, incidentally, smells of cream for children and ozone. And disappearing, in a flash, he whispered: We have a little sister who still hasn’t got tits. II Taller than him by the forehead, with two dark eyes on a pale face. Thin-lipped; long-fingered: neither male nor female. In his regulation overalls, with a hood and a black cape, under which he probably hides tiresome wings. He showed up again, only to shout: What shall we do with our sister? 19
DRUGA PESMA
Zapalio je poslednju cigaretu; odlučan da zapiše stihove koje danima u glavi doteruje. Pre nego dogori, do nokta. Ali zvonka kiša ne prestaje, od večeri; i odvlači mu pažnju. Kao uporno kuckanje na vrata.
20
ANOTHER POEM
He lit his last cigarette, resolutely intending to write down the verses that he has been polishing inside his head for days. Before it burns right down to his fingernail. But the chiming rain hasn’t stopped, all evening, and it distracts him. Just like persistent knocking at the door.
21
SAMOME SEBI I voleti je dobro: jer ljubav je teška. Rilke
Oduvek su ga privlačile svetice. Potencijalne. Mističarke, u najavi. Sastao se sa devicama, ludim i mudrim. Analizirao san; u manastiru. Razgovarao sa prostitutkom, o tome. Olako je pristupio studijama književnosti. Nije mario za velike tajne, biblioteke. Posmatrao je drvo života, u stihiji. Pod određenim uglom. Za sebe. Nije položio ispit iz romantizma: pao na motivu mrtve drage.
22
TO HIMSELF It is good to love: for, love is hard. Rilke
He has always been attracted by female saints. Potential ones. Mystics, by intimation. He met with virgins, mad and wise. Analysed dreams; in a monastery. Talked about it with a prostitute. He took his study of literature lightly. He didn’t care about great secrets, libraries. He watched the tree of life in chaos. At a certain angle. For himself. He did not pass the exam in romanticism: he failed on account of the dead sweetheart motif.Â
23
POSEBAN USLOV Uvek budi iskren. Musaši
Ovo dobro prouči: brisanje je brže nego pisanje. Ono je starije. Kao muk i glas. I zaborav i sećanje. U početku beše laž. I ako sve obrišeš blagovremeno. Svaku izjavu. Svaku poruku. Onda dođi. Bez smrtonosne istine. Da te vidim, draga.
24
A SPECIAL CONDITION Always be frank. Musashi
Ponder this deeply: erasing takes less time than writing. It is older. As is the case with silence and voice. And oblivion and memory. In the beginning was a lie. And if you erase everything in a timely manner. Every statement. Every message. Then come to me. Without the lethal truth. Let me see you, darling.
25
UMOR OD POEZIJE
Nisi izašla iz sobe. Školjke. Osmatračnice. Ružno je vreme za šetnju. Gimnastiku. Jogu. Nije pravi trenutak: da flertujemo. Ugušile nas velike reči. Ono što nazivamo poezijom. Slomio nas ritam. Diktator. Pritajili smo se: bez stiha na jeziku.
26
FATIGUE FROM POETRY
You didn’t get out of the room. Out of your shell. Out of your watchtower. The weather’s too bad for walking. For gymnastics. For yoga. It’s not the right moment: for us to flirt. Big words have smothered us. What we call poetry. The rhythm has broken us. The dictator. We are lying low: without a verse on our tongues.
27
ROMANTIČNA IZJAVA
Kada ti kaže: volim te. Misli na dolazeći voz. Pogled sa prozora. Hostelske sobe. Osunčane krovove. (Petrograda npr.) Zajednički krevet. A pre svega: posete groblju. I druge lekovite šetnje.
28
A ROMANTIC STATEMENT
When he tells you: I love you. He is referring to a train that is arriving. A view from the window. Of a hostel room. Sun-drenched roofs. (Of Saint Petersburg, for example.) A common bed. And most of all: to visits to the cemetery. And other salutary walks.
29
MLADE RUSKINJE
Vidiš, to je zanimljivo. Treba biti iskren. Govoriti samo istinu. Tako da te shvate. Tako da sakriješ sve. Ono što ne smeš priznati. Ono što nećeš reći. Ali pažljivo biraj reči. Kao minđuše. Za uši. Zar nije zabavno?
30
YOUNG RUSSIAN GIRLS
See, that’s interesting. You should be frank. Tell only the truth. So that they understand you. So that you hide everything. That which you mustn’t admit. That which you won’t say. But choose you words carefully. Like ear-rings. For the ears. Isn’t it fun?
31
TAMA NA BLOKOVE
Decembar je mrak godine. Podvlačimo crtu. Konačno i sneg. Ali neverica postoji. Kako je došlo do toga: da promenimo garderobu? Iznenada? Kraj? A opet: vazduh. Zauzima nove položaje. Neprestano. Posmatraš, pažljivo: tama pada na Blokove.
32
DARKNESS DESCENDS ON THE BLOCKS
December is the darkest period of the year. We square the accounts. Snow finally falls. But there is disbelief. How did we come: to change our clothes? Abruptly? The end? And then again: the air. Takes up new positions. Incessantly. You watch, carefully: darkness descends on the blocks of flats.
33
VEGETARIJANSKI RECEPT
Dovoljno je za dvoje. Izdvojiti jednu svetlu glavicu. I drugu tamnu glavicu. Nekoliko zrnaca crnog i belog začina. I lekovite biljčice. Obavezno. Što više boja dodati, zelenila. Između prstiju sve pomešati. Dodirivati neko vreme. Precizno. Ukrasiti sto. Izaći na terasu. Naglo popiti. Posmatrati razmažene mačke. U dvorištu.
34
A VEGETARIAN RECIPE
It serves two. Pick one bright lump. And a dark lump. Several grains of a black and a white condiment. And medicinal herbs. By all means. Add as many colours as possible, greenery. Mix everything between your fingers. Touch for a while. Precisely. Decorate the table. Go out on the terrace. Drink up. Watch the pampered cats. In the yard.
35
LJUBAVNICI
Najpre, igra okolnosti. Potom, poezija – kao rat. Ispitivanje terena. Osmatranje. Upoznavanje neprijatelja. Čekanje. Vreme ističe, ništa se ne događa. Ne odustaješ. Menjaš taktiku. Praviš zamke, mišolovku. Sve to traje. Konačno, odustaneš. Zabeležiš datum: 29. februar. Ipak, desi se. Odjednom. I traje: tiho... I niko ništa ne primećuje. Samo umor – probadanje. Vreme je iscurelo: i vraća se.
36
LOVERS
First of all, a play of circumstances. Then, poetry – as war. Reconnoitring the terrain. Reconnaissance. Getting to know the enemy. Waiting. Time runs out, nothing happens. You don’t give up. You change your tactics. You make traps, a mousetrap. It all takes time. Finally, you give up. You note down the date: 29th February. Yet, it happens. All of a sudden. And endures: quietly... And no one notices anything. Just fatigue – a stabbing pain. Time leaked out: and is coming back.
37
KIŠA
Nisam to nameravao. Razgovarali smo o prolaznosti. O ljubavi i nesreći. Tražili razloge. Za i protiv. Onda je počelo. Naglo. I nismo imali kud. Sve se već dogodilo. I pre vatrometa.
38
RAIN
I didn’t intend it. We talked about transience. About love and misfortune. Sought reasons. For and against. Then it started. Abruptly. And there was nothing we could do. It had all happened. Even before the fireworks.
39
DOGOVOR Nikada nigde nikome ništa nemoj da kažeš. Livada
Radostan dečačić sedi u zelenoj fotelji. Iako pozira fotografu, nemiran je. Mlatara nožicama. Ali se rukama čvrsto drži za crne oslonce. Kao da upravlja letećim zmajem. Ili kormilom gusarskog broda. Pred dečačićem nepregledno prostranstvo. Nebo i more. I nebo. Ali smeška se dečačić. Jer zna ko je vazduh a ko voda. Zna... Za svaki slučaj. Nikada nikome ništa neću da kažem.
40
AGREEMENT Never tell anyone anything anywhere. Livada
An overjoyed little boy sits in a green armchair. Even though he is posing for a photographer, he is restless. He dangles his tiny legs. But he holds on tightly to the black handles. As if he were flying a kite. Or at the helm of a pirate ship. An interminable expanse stretches before the little boy. The sky and the sea. And the sky. But the little boy smiles. For he knows who’s air and who’s water. He knows... Just in case. I’ll never tell anyone anything.
41
KLICA
Ko će nam poverovati? Nije bilo s predumišljajem? Ko će prvi lažno svedočiti? Gledajući oči devojčice. Povredljive i tužne. Ranicu na čelu. Raskrvavljenu u snu. Sada jasnije vidimo. Dokazni materijal. (Crno-beli snimci.) Napušteno žuto telo. Mrlju. Foto-semenku. Možemo doneti presudu: Klica proklija tek na ugašenoj zvezdi.
42
GERM
Who will believe us? It wasn’t premeditated? Who’ll be the first to testify falsely? Looking into the eyes of the girl. Vulnerable and sad. The small wound on her forehead. Bloodied while she was sleeping. Now we see more clearly. The evidence. (Black-and-white photos.) The abandoned yellow body. A blot. A photo-seed. We can pass the verdict: A germ sprouts only on an extinguished star.
43
VELIKA ELEGIJA V.
Zagledaj se u ovu sliku: Osmeh pun suza? (Cigareta dogoreva u desnoj ruci.) Plač kroz smeh? (Leva ruka pridržava koleno.) Ne možeš tugu proceniti. (Pre kraja.) Evo pomoći ću ti: (da izbegneš poraz). Ona uskoro odlazi. Igra je okončana. Pravda je podeljena. (Svi putevi vode u svlačionicu.) I prošlost ostaje. Ako potrčiš.
44
A GREAT ELEGY TO V.
Look at this picture: A smile full of tears? (A cigarette about to burn out in the right hand.) Weeping through laughter? (The left hand holds the knee.) You cannot assess sorrow. (Before the end.) Here, I’ll help you: (to avoid defeat). She’s leaving soon. The game is over. Justice has been dispensed. (All paths lead to the dressing room.) And the past remains. If you start running.
45
GREŠKA
Zašto mi to radiš? Zar nismo postavili granice? Postigli dogovor? Sklopili novi savez? Ko je poverovao da je sada moguće? I video i odmah poželeo? Ko se nikada nije vratio sa putovanja? Ko je prvi izabrao laž? I šta je ovo? Izgovori!
46
MISTAKE
Why are you doing this to me? Haven’t we set limits? Reached an agreement? Made a new pact? Who believed it was now possible? And saw it and wished for it immediately? Who never returned from a journey? Who opted for a lie first? And what is this? Say it!
47
GREŠKA U VREMENU
Ali ako ti zvezde ipak budu naklonjene: setićeš se kako je sve izmicalo. Konačno. Izmicalo. A baš ti se žurilo da svršiš poslove u svoje vreme. A zapravo: uvek se samo započinjalo. Kao da je moguće otići. U bilo kom trenutku. Zauvek.
48
ERROR IN TIME
But if the stars should be favourably disposed to you, after all: you’ll remember how everything kept slipping away. Irrevocably. Slipping away. And you were in such a hurry to finish what you had to do in good time. While actually: things always only got started. As if it were possible to go away. At any time. Forever.
49
PROTIV POSEDOVANJA
Spavaj, prijateljice moja. Najdraža moja, opusti se. Odloži krila, odmori i oči. Skupljene granice sveta. Jer probudićeš se jednom trudna od nežnosti. Imaćeš dovoljno vremena samo za sebe. Probudićeš se darežljiva. Kao pesak u pustinji. U prahu pesak.
50
AGAINST POSSESSION
Sleep, my friend. Relax, dearest. Put your wings aside, give your eyes a rest as well. The gathered boundaries of the world. For one day you’ll wake up pregnant with tenderness. You’ll have enough time for yourself only. You’ll wake up generous. Just like sand in a desert. Sand in dust.
51
PROTIV ČEKANJA
Ako već spavaš, potrudi se. Ako si budan, putuj. Nemoj ništa da obećavaš. Ali ako baš obećaš, sve zaboravi. (I tebe će zaboraviti.) I što pre kreni. Ne gubi vreme. (Jer tebe će izgubiti.) O, tako divnog čoveka. O, tako dragu dušicu. Strpljivu i ne baš vernu kao smrt.
52
AGAINST WAITING
If you’re sleeping, make an effort. If you’re awake, travel. Don’t promise anything. If you do make a promise, forget everything. (You’ll be forgotten, too.) And set out as soon as you can. Don’t waste time. (For you’ll be wasted, too.) Oh, such a wonderful man. Oh, such a kind soul. Patient, and not really as faithful as death.
53
ŠTIĆENICA
Pod zaštitom mojom stojiš. Pod mojom kontrolom. Drži se instrukcija. Negiraj sve. Naljuti se. Uvredi. Ućuti. Pusti suzicu. Krv. Prekini svaki razgovor. Ustani od stola. Beži!
54
PROTÉGÉ
You are under my protection. Under my control. Follow your instructions. Deny everything. Take umbrage. Take offence. Go silent. Shed a tear. Blood. Stop all conversations. Get up from the table. Run!
55
PROVERA
Znaj i pamti. Ne ide to tako. Ni ovako. Isključeni telefoni. Van dometa. Van kontrole. Van sebe. Puniš baterije. Puniš, tako puniš. Ostalo je lako. Ostalo ne pamtim. Sad me to pitaš?
56
CHECK-UP
Know and remember this. It doesn’t work like that. Or like this. Phones switched off. Out of range. Out of control. Beside yourself. You charge batteries. You charge, that’s how you charge. The rest is easy. I don’t remember the rest. Now you ask me that?
57
ODVIKAVANJE
Ne moraš da govoriš. Znam to: svi lažu. Samo se ti pripremi. Okupaj lepo telo. Biraj boje koje želiš. Lak za nokte. I ne brini više: Na kojem mestu? U koje vreme? Snima se. Na glavnom gradskom trgu. Na paklenom suncu. Ne znaš da si lako zapaljiva? U svakom trenutku. Posmatraću. Lagaću te. Do smrti.
58
BREAKING THE HABIT
You don’t have to say it. I know it: everybody lies. Just get ready. Bathe your lovely body. Choose the colours that you want. The nail varnish. And don’t worry any longer: What place? What time? It is being filmed. In the main city square. In the hellishly strong sun. You don’t know you are inflammable? At any moment. I’ll be watching. I’ll lie to you. Until the day I die.
59
KRSTARENJE
Poneo sam krst. Od drveta. I nije tako teško. Ali zbunjuje: kad tražim srce napipam drvce. Raspeće-omču. Stežem grlo, vrat. Onda doneseš srce. Kameno-dečje. Pravo. Zeleno-plavo. Čvrsto. Da ga uzmem? Na zub? Pod jezik? Da ućutim? Malo ti je?
60
CRUISING
I’ve taken a cross with me. Made of wood. And it’s not that heavy. But it’s confusing: when I search for a heart I touch wood. A crucifix-noose. I squeeze my throat, neck. Then you bring a heart. A stone-childlike one. Genuine. Green-blue. Firm. Shall I take it? Place it between my teeth? Under my tongue? Should I shut up? Not enough for you?
61
NAŠA JE STVAR
Možeš da veruješ? Doći će taj februar. Umnožavanje. Previše paralelnih svetova. (Mačke se više i ne čuju.) A materijalni dokazi? Ostavljeni gradovi. U plamenu. (Čujem.) Popaljena sela. Uništeni usevi. (A znak raspoznavanja?) Otvoren pogled na kružni tok. Iz sobe.
62
IT’S OUR THING
Can you believe it? That February will come. Multiplication. Too many parallel worlds. (The cats are not even heard any more.) And what about material evidence? Abandoned cities. In flames. (I hear.) Burnt down villages. Ruined crops. (And what about the recognition sign?) An open view of the circular intersection. From the room.
63
I BEZ ILUZIJA Da, umoran sam i pomalo nasmejan Pesoa
Probaj samo: nemaš ti šta da izgubiš. A ni oni. Vidiš nebo. Vidiš reku. Napravi krug. Uđi u posteljinu. Šta teže podnosiš? Zaboravi fotelju. Zaboravi okean.
64
AND WITHOUT ANY ILLUSIONS Yes, I’m tired and smiling slightly Pessoa
Just you try it: you have nothing to lose. Nor do they. You see the sky. You see the river. Go in a circle. Get in-between the sheets. What is more difficult for you to bear? Forget about the armchair. Forget about the ocean.
65
ODRICANJE ODGOVORNOSTI
Ništa se nije dogodilo. Ništa nisam video. Samo je prolazilo vreme. Iz oštre zime skliznuli u vrelo proleće. U april i maj. Posle smo dugo putovali. Prvi put. Izgladneli. Izranjavani. Kasno je da se učini bilo šta. Otvorio sam oči. I nisam video.
66
DENYING RESPONSIBILITY
Nothing happened. I didn’t see anything. Only time passed. From a harsh winter we slipped into a hot spring. Into April and May. Afterwards we travelled for a long time. For the first time. Famished. Wounded. It’s too late to do anything. I opened my eyes. And didn’t see.
67
ODBACI
Lepo si me vaspitavala: siđi pod zemlju. Napravi istu grešku. Opet i opet idi do dna. Izgovori laž. Oslobodi bes. Odglumi ludilo. Upoznaj strah. Izazovi stres. Vežbaj flert. Pročitaj blef. Nastavi da čitaš. Zadrži osmeh. (Skoro smešak.) Zlatan zub.
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REJECT
You taught me nicely: go below ground. Make the same mistake. Get to the bottom again and again. Tell a lie. Release your rage. Pretend madness. Get to know fear. Cause stress. Practise flirting. See through a bluff. Keep on reading. Keep your smile. (Almost a smile.) A gold tooth.
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BILO JEDNOM U BEOGRADU Kud li ću ja otići, kad odem iz Rima? Crnjanski
U španskom baru. Za šankom. Možda shvatiš: moraš da kreneš. Da se pomeraš. Što dalje. Posle svega izgubljenog. Pomalo zbunjen-izgubljen. (Ali dobro zagrejan.) Jer sve to: te veze-suveniri. Dragi moj R. (Iščekivanje gosta npr.) Dogorevaju. U drugom nekom baru. U sobi-krevetu. U mrklom mraku.
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ONCE UPON A TIME IN BELGRADE Where will I go, when I leave Rome? Crnjanski
Inside a Spanish bar. Standing at the bar. You may understand: you must go on. Keep moving on. As far as possible. After everything that’s been lost. A bit confused-lost. (But warmed up.) For, all that: those affairs-souvenirs. My dear R. (Waiting for a guest to arrive, for instance.) Peter out. In another bar. In a room-bed. In pitch dark.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dejan Matić, born in 1979 in Kruševac (Serbia). He graduated from the Department of Serbian Literature at the Faculty of Philology of Belgrade University. He has published poetry in literary periodicals. He is one of the founders of the Treći Trg [Third Square] periodical, the director of the international Belgrade Festival of Poetry and Books “Snap up! Poetry!”, and the Editor-in-Chief of the literary periodical Treći Trg (www.trecitrg.org.rs). He has published a collection of poetry entitled Between Thirty-Three and Death (Između trideset treće i smrti, Društvo Istočnik, Belgrade, 2013).
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ABOUT THE TRANSLATOR
Novica Petrović, PhD, born in Zemun (Serbia) on 25.07.1952. Finished grammar school in 1971 in Belgrade. Graduated from the English Department of the Faculty of Philology of Belgrade University in 1975. Defended his MA thesis entitled The Entropy Motif in the Work of Thomas Pynchon and J. G. Ballard in July 2001, and obtained his PhD degree in July 2005, having defended the thesis Man and the Universe in the Work of Arthur C. Clarke and Stanislaw Lem, both at the Faculty of Philology of Belgrade University. Worked as an English teacher at the Kolarac Foundation School for Foreign Languages in Belgrade from 1981 to 1994. Worked as a Lecturer in Contemporary English Language at the English Department of the Faculty of Philology of Belgrade University from 1994 to 2006, when he was promoted to the post of Senior Lecturer in British/American Cultural Studies. Currently teaches An Introduction to American Studies, American Cultural Studies and An Introduction to a Study of British and American Utopian Literature at the Faculty of Philology in Belgrade. Has published translations, literary criticism and essays on the theory and practice of translation, and is a regular contributor to local literary periodicals and Radio Belgrade’s cultural programmes.
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Contents
Learning Grammar 5 Before My Morning Cup Of Coffee Surmising The Future 9 Instead Of Poetry 11 Sardinia 15 The Third Square 17 Passing Each Other By 19 Another Poem 21 To Himself 23 A Special Condition 25 Fatigue From Poetry 27 A Romantic Statement 29 Young Russian Girls 31 Darkness Descends On The Blocks A Vegetarian Recipe 35 Lovers 37 Rain 39 Agreement 41 Germ 43 A Great Elegy To V. 45 Mistake 47 Error In Time 49
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Against Possession 51 Against Waiting 53 Protégé 55 Check-Up 57 Breaking The Habit 59 Cruising 61 It’s Our Thing 63 And Without Any Illusions 65 Denying Responsibility 67 Reject 69 Once Upon A Time In Belgrade 71 About the Author 73 About the Translator 75
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Dejan Matić Between Thirty-Three and Death Editor Milan Dobričić Translator Novica Petrović Cover design Dragana Nikolić Publisher Treći Trg Francuska 7 Beograd www.trecitrg.org.rs trgnise@gmail.com +381691979007 Printed by Čigoja štampa Studentski trg 13 Beograd 200 copies Beograd 2013
CIP - Каталогизација у публикацији Народна библиотека Србије, Београд 821.163.41-1 МАТИЋ, Дејан, 1979Between thirty - three and death / Dejan Matić ; translated from the serbian original by Novica Petrović. - Beograd : Treći Trg, 2013 (Beograd : Čigoja štampa). - 77 str. ; 19 cm Izv. stv. nasl.: Између тридесет треће и смрти. - Uporedo srp. tekst i engl. prevod. - Tiraž 200. - About the Author: str. 73. About the Translator: str. 75. ISBN 978-86-86337-69-6 COBISS.SR-ID 201938188