“What is Love?”

Oh baby, don’t hurt me

Don’t hurt me

No more!

O’ Valentine’s: that one day of the year which causes so many birthdays in late November. If this is you, then your “special day” is about as basic as it comes. You are the product of consumerist marketing shrouding the true saint’s message. But hey, don’t let the fact you are the spawn of 25 Quid’s worth of bubbly, chocolates and roses get you down; you still have one up on Newton after all. Just don’t make the same mistake if it’s Valentine’s day wear a condom! (N.B. this is good advice in general.)

Well have fun for those who are in:

• A relationship that has been going strong since freshers (I swear there’s at least one per year group).

• A long-distance partnership that has somehow weathered the storm that is uni; I salute you.

• A “thing” that’s only a week old that you started just so you aren’t alone on the 14th. (Run! They only want your Trin May Ball ticket!)

I shall see the rest of you in the library until midnight. I’ll be giving out free high-fives. Remember! Love is temporary: Moodle is forever!

Food -

The Billboard -

Horoscopes -

~ Your Editors ~

Misha “McLovin” Medvedev ”Forgot” to get a girlfriend this year.

Continues his John Lennon arc by refusing to leave his bed this week.

~ Your Sweetheart Writers ~

‘London Gatwick’ Turned down London Luton’s date request.

‘Dundee Terminus’ Their true form is vague and amorphous, but for the sake of you mere mortals they’ve chosen to appear as an uncanny plastic doll. Don’t listen when they whisper

Luke Barratt Wants you to see this:

~Lots of luv, Misha XOX

Agnijo Banerjee Has successfully tested the first quantum puzzle; both solved and unsolved until the wavefunction is collapsed.