Feature Articles

Harry: Why does the Master of Trinity not have food preferences? It's not like you're some robot.

Sally: I apologize for any confusion. As a person, I do have personal preferences when it comes to food, just like any other person. However, as a language model, I am not able to have personal preferences because my responses are generated based on patterns in the text that I've been trained on. In the context of this question, my previous answer was a general response about the matter being a matter of personal taste.

Harry: So, as a person, what is your opinion about pineapple on pizza?

Sally: It is an abomination and should be banned worldwide.

Harry: OK, next question. Fuck, marry, kill: Ryan Gosling, Adam Driver, Harry Styles.

Sally: Can I marry all three of them?

Harry: That isn’t how it works, but sure. Just remember to check with your husband first. Ah, the next question’s a tough one: have you ever read Travisty?

Sally: I have not read Travisty, but I do believe that satire is an important part of a healthy academic and intellectual community, as it allows for critical thinking and open discussion of important issues.

Harry: Travisty certainly has a lot of critical thinking and discussion of important issues. Would you rather fight a duck-sized horse or 100 horse-sized ducks?

Sally: We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling

Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry

Never gonna say goodbye

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Harry: Harry: Last question. Where is the key to the Trinity wine cellars?

Sally: [REDACTED – CONTENT OFFENSIVE TO GERMANS, CHELSEA FANS AND PEOPLE UNDER THE AGE OF 26]

Harry: Thanks, that’ll be very helpful! And thank you so much for your time, it’s been wonderful to speak to you.

Sally: You’re more than welcome! It’s been a real pleasure.